This was my entry into Erin's ill-fated "Reunions" project.  It's similar 
in feel to "Kurobara", a bit more intense on the emotional side, and 
shorter.  Of course, now the timing seems too perfect, as I'm currently 
going through my finals.

This is very dark, BTW.

REUNIONS - KODACHI

Leifker (nwl9354@unix.tamu.edu) Presents...

     I sit alone, as I usually do, a letter from the past in my shaking
hands waiting to be opened.  Familiar fear washes through me, as well as
other, darker emotions urging me to oblivion.  Seizing what emotional
strength I have, I tear the envelope open, to reveal the pardon or
condemnation inside.

     Today was not going to be a good day.  I knew that going in, as the
sleep deprivation from finals and the preparations for my summer journeys
send my emotions on a knife's edge.  This, though...this made any of that
look worthless by comparison, for this...this is a letter from one I loved
and betrayed, and who nearly died from my madness. 

Dear Kodachi, 

     We are holding a reunion for all of our friends from the old days,
and would like it if you could come.  It will be held on June 25 at the
Saotome Dojo.  Please come; we would love to have you here.  

                                   Ranma and Akane

     Tears well in my eyes, the intermingled anguish and joy unbearable.
They were inviting me to their house; _me_, who had tormented them and
made their lives uncomfortable for so long, who nearly...I rub my wrist
unconsciously, as the spectre of memory comes to visit. 

     It was not always like this for me.  There once was a time when I did
what I pleased, and dreamed of nights of passion and fire, rather than the
hellfire of torment that comes to my bed at night.  Back then, Ranma was
my guide, my knight in shining armor, the beacon for my soul.  I wanted
him with every fibre of my being.

     Unfortunately, I was not the only one who sought his heart, and in
the end I was not the one to capture it.  Ranma loved Akane; I know that
now with a certainty beyond all reason, though arrogance and hope blinded
me then.  After we parted ways and went to college, I wrote him every
week, telling him of my exploits here at Nekomi and how I loved him so and
urged him to wait for me, and came periodically to him, to prove my love
to him.  To his credit, he tried everything honorable (and one or two 
things dishonorable) to dissuade my advances, to convince me that I was 
not the one he loved.  He even went so far as to demonstrate to me his 
curse, to convince me that he was not "man enough" for me.  My response?  
Not caring what form he or she had, I kissed her.

     In the summer after my second year, I arrived home as I usually did.
I set my luggage down in my room, and went to join my brother and his
love, the cold Nabiki, in the dining room.  After chilly pleasantries, we 
sat down to supper.

     I am not sure of the exact quote the woman had said, but I do
remember the meanings implied.  Nabiki made a casual remark about her 
sister AND BROTHER-IN-LAW together, and I became livid.  Upon pressing 
the issue, I found out the truth they sought to keep from me: Ranma - MY 
Ranma, was gone for good, and already married to Akane.

     In the Western vows, among the words uttered in a wedding are "Till
death do you part".  There was one clear way to break the harridan's hold
on him, and now it was my only option left.  Do not speak to me of sanity;
it was said that I had little before the incident, and I assure you I had 
none at that point.  With dark flame smouldering in my eyes, I pulled out 
the family honor blade, and began coating it with my own touch...poison.

     A gentle whispering of my name shifted my attentions elsewhere, and I
turned to the source of the soft voice.  Sasuke, ever-faithful servant to
the clan, looked at me with sad eyes.

     "Kodachi-sama...please don't do this.  Killing Akane will not give
you your Ranma back; rather, it will drive hatred into his heart,
destroying any friendship between the two of you."  

     "Silence, servant!" I cried, deep within my madness.  "I care not for
your prattlings at a time like this!"

     The ninja took off his cowl, and grasped the blade's handle over my
own hands.  "I am not asking you as a servant, Kodachi," he said evenly.
"I am asking you as a friend."

     The resistance from this once-docile soul only urged my fury 
onward.  "I want neither your friendship nor your service, you fool!  You
are dismissed, Sasuke!"

     The old man looked into my eyes.  Such sadness radiated from them;
however, in my anger I could not see it.  He let go, and turned to walk
away.

     "Kodachi-sama...I will perform one more act for the house of Kunou
before my service here is finished."

     "And that is?" I growled, anger my only friend.

     "I will act as a pallbearer...at your funeral."  He turned around
once, and I could see the shimmer of tears on his face.  The servant 
walked out, leaving me to my dark fate.  Uncaring, I continued with my
preparations, images of Akane's slow death at the forefront of my mind.

     It was night before I arrived at the Tendo - correction, the SAOTOME - 
Dojo.  I watched the movements of the residents for a moment.  The look of
happiness on my belo- on Ranma's face nearly broke me from my trance, but
I would not be deterred.  Akane would die for her actions, and Ranma would
be mine.  

     Shortly after supper, the couple went out into the backyard, to enjoy
a quiet moment together.  It was at this point that I made my move.  I
leapt from my hiding place, my blade unsheathed and ready to strike.  Time
seemed to go in slow motion as I approached my target...

     A blur came in between myself and Akane, deflecting the blade's
course an instant before it would have hit its mark.  Ranma stood there, a
rock between Akane and me, eyes on fire from the intrusion.

     "Kodachi!"  I still wince from the hatred with which he spat my name.
Were it not for his chivalrous ways, I have no doubts I would have been
killed in a heartbeat, such was his anger.  I matched his anger...but only
for a moment.

     My eyes followed his form...and drifted to the dark stain on his 
arm.  In order to save Akane's life, he had taken the blow, and allowed 
himself to be cut in the process.  He had allowed himself to be cut...

     The next actions I took were a haze to me, something that my mind
prefer I not remember too much about.  I remember screaming out a
near-incoherent apology...leaving the antidote for his failing
body...running into the night, wailing in my grief...going to my bathroom,
and cutting myself with the blade...

     I woke up a few days later, in the hospital.  None of my family was
there, but my servant, Sasuke, faithful even when I was not, sat by my
bedside.  I still remember my hoarse words from that bed.

     "Please, Sasuke...let me die.  I don't want to..."

     The wise man shook his head.  "Yes you will...eventually.  Time will
pass and give you happiness, once you have let go."

     I shook my head, not believing, not wanting to believe.  "No...I...I
betrayed him...I deserve to die..."

     "No you don't."  Sasuke smiled.  "You made a mistake, an error in
judgement, that's all.  Let it go, and go on.  Redeem yourself by living,
not dying."

     Not knowing what else to do, I decided to trust him...for the moment.
I spent the next six months in the psychiatric hospital, and was then
released to return to college.  

     I tried, Deity knows I've tried, but I can't take much more.  Words
can only go so far when life is little more than emptiness.  The bad
nights, times when it takes all my willpower to keep from killing myself,
are coming with more and more frequency now, and I no longer trust the
psychiatric safety net.  In other words, something has to happen - now.
Believe me, I am trying to live, with all my soul...but I know it cannot
last.  If something doesn't happen...if I cannot redeem the ghosts of the
past...I am as dead as if the blade had killed me that night.

     In other words, this message is neither my pardon, nor my 
condemnation...but it could hold my salvation.  
     
***************************************************************************

Notes on Kodachi's char for "Reunions": 

At the point of the Reunion, Kodachi is at the end of her rope.  The 
madness from her high-school days is gone, replaced with a severe
depression.  She knows with a chilling lucidity that she will kill herself
within a year if something doesn't happen.  She views the Reunion as her
last chance, a way to undo the damage she's done and to forgive herself of
her sins.  She has cut herself off from the rest of the clan since the
incident, only showing up at Kunou and Nabiki's wedding, though even then
she distanced herself off from family, especially R&A.  She will usually
go on vacations over the breaks, an excuse to stay away from the Kunou
manor.

In the Reunion, she will be to Ranma and Akane what Sasuke was to her, a
silent protector ready to help if she's needed.  She knows perfectly well
she's not the only one to have reason to harm the two, and will willingly
give up her life for them.  After all, right now she values her life
pretty cheaply, and would gladly give it up to restore her lost honor.
She will be a bit standoffish to Akane, for the obvious reasons, but
seriously wants a friend in Ranma.  She will also be looking for friends
in others who don't want to kill him or weren't among those who vied for 
his affections.

Nicholas Leifker
nwl9354@unix.tamu.edu
http://http.tamu.edu:8000/~nwl9354
February 16, 1997