"o/~ What will become of the Baron? Surely this time there is no escape! o/~" (Performed by Munchausen's Self-Playing Orchestra)
"Tall, blonde, muscled and magnificent, he stood at the prow of a great gondola pulled by swans and held up in the air by a great balloon. Wearing a splendid House Alars military uniform, he looked the very image of a brave commander of men. He leaned forward on one leg as he pointed towards the moon high above and flew upwards towards it. One could make out a tiny speck which might have been a palace on the moon. One had to look carefully to realize his gondola was on fire with little black heart shaped creatures dancing in the flames behind him."
Born of the Rites in 1333, Allen von Munchausen is the child of Atleby and Yuki, whose love was foretold by Ymir's Well, Tir'na'nog, the Prophecies of the Serpent, the Prophecies of the Unicorn, the Red Book of Malin, the Prophecies of the Dragon, the mad ravings of Lord Foul the Despiser, Elvis, and Nostradamus (according to Munchausen, anyway). His mother trained him from infancy in the arts of combat, while his father taught him the arts of writing, storytelling, and creative embellishment.
In 1336 AY, the Munchausen estates suffered the 'Great Collapsing Hrung Disaster'. It remains unclear what a Great Hrung is or why it chose to collapse on the Munchausen estates, but the result was that the Munchausen estates experienced time dilation, and two years passed in one day. When he was ten(1345), he was a lucky winner of a Golden Ticket. Things went horribly wrong, and Vermicious Knids overran Loompaland. But drawing on the skills taught him by his mother, he managed to rally the Oompa-Loompas and drive off the Vermicious Knids who swore revenge. Or so he claims. His parents had gone off to a restaurant and left him at the factory, and there was no SIGN of a massive battle. But even in adulthood, he loves candy, and the Oompa-Loompas love him.
At the age of 14 (1349), his parents wanted to send him to a good finishing school. Relying on the guidance of a dream, he managed to convince his parents to send him to the Hisame-Monde Finishing School for Young Sorcerors. They failed to realize this was Michelle and Atsuko's school... His luck was with him. He attended for four years, then stayed on another ten years as an instructor before his parents finally found out and forced him to leave. During that time, he went on many trips into shadow, and spent years as the intimate of Michelle and Atsuko. In fact, they still seem very fond of him.
He then walked the Logrus (1359), and went mad, vanishing into Shadow for a decade. He recovered his sanity when he found the White Ship, which took him to Cathuria, where he was healed of his madness and became the lover of the White Queen, who rules Cathuria. Or so he claims.
He resurfaced at the Gondola Games in 1371, which he won in one of the most spectacular victories ever, driving a Swan Gondola of his own design. Even an assault by Deep Ones and Vermicious Knids (who, oddly enough, hate each other on sight...) couldn't stop his victory. He attended the College of Sea Magics, where he once again discovered his deep inability to get even the simplest spell to work right. This was proven a year later, when he somehow managed to fling the entire College of Sea Magics to Rebma, and is thrown out of the Sea College and told he will be blasted on sight if they ever see him again. The College of Sea Magics officially dubs him 'The Human Typhoon'. It takes nearly a year to get everything moved back to Venetia.
Many years of adventures in Shadow followed for him, including the tale of the Giant Bat of Sumatra, the attack of the Weebles, the tragic love story of Walker and Man-Thing, and the Irresistable Revolutionary Pre-Teen Apocalypse. Only the highlights will be touched upon here.
In the year 1380, one of Tomos and Corey's semi-regular binges of excessive social behavior gets out of control when they manage to hook up with Cho and Allen von Munchausen, who are out for the same. The resulting mayhem is legendary in best Munchausen style, fueled by Corey and Cho's mouths and Tomos' utter inability to say no to the idea of a good adventure. After the fight with the Red Dragon Tong, the group managed to accidentally disrupt the plans of Wan Lung, evil Chaos undead sorceror, when Corey tried to seduce his virgin sacrifice and Munchausen snuck into his harem, while Cho and Tomos fought the Red Dragon goons trying to come through the door. The resulting magical explosion was visible several shadows away, and the group was on the run through the Black Zone for almost 3 days before they finally managed to trick the several angry mobs after them into fighting each other. All four vow to never to speak of it again, which lasts exactly 37 minutes before they find another bar and begin telling the story with even further embellishments.
1383-1389 AY: The Third Coming of N'Stylite They say that those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. N'Stylite reforms, under the guidance of Marko, a member of Generation 2. Their intial tour 'Look at our Butts Wiggle' proves a huge success. Unfortunately, this simply sends the Stylite order over the edge again, resulting in the Second N'Stylite War. It culminates in the Helgram/Stylite Order alliance, and the Second Battle of the Altamont Logrusway. Kurz and Marko fight a duel on top of a pillar as the battle rages around them. Sousuke, Kaname, and Melissa are all known to have been present, but it remains unclear what they did, in part because...
No one present will explain exactly what happened next, although mentioning Second Altamont to a veteran is likely to reduce them to either gibbering madness or homocidal mania. It apparently had something to do with Baron Munchausen, 'the Moon Princess', the Giant Bat of Sumatra, an army of Huggy Corrines, werewolf-vampire Brittney Spears clones, and Andy Jackson fighting Michael Jackson on top of Bessie, the Giant Cow of the Atlan Tepes. Maybe. That may simply be the deranged ramblings of lunatic minds.
1415 AY: Yuki begins to fret because Munchausen isn't taking trump calls. She asks Kurz to find him. Kurz gets Melissa and Sousuke, and they try to find him, quickly discovering that neither Logrus nor Magic can locate him. A consultation with Motoko reveals that Pattern can't find him either. Certain covert contacts are drawn upon, and it's discovered that he hasn't fallen in the Abyss. Anno reassures them that Munchausen isn't dead and will turn up eventually. Kurz, Melissa, and Sousuke are unable to bring themselves to just wait for him to turn up. After months of searching aimlessly, they suddenly get a lock on him with Logrus, and find him at the Beach, Mark 2, trying to relax. When asked where he was, he explains that the Sign of the Pattern became jealous because he was sexier than it was, and that it imprisoned him for six months in a high tower while it had its way with beautiful women and forced him to watch. He eventually escaped because one of the women found him more desirable than the Sign of the Pattern, and got it drunk, then stole the Jewel of Judgement from it, and used it to bust them out. But as they fled, she looked back and the Sign of the Pattern turned her to stone. He was forced to flee without the Jewel, and came to the Beach to relax. He then offers them a bottle of wine he stole from the Sign's lonely tower. It turns out to be quite tasty.
Kanako fails to come home one evening. (We shall see in a bit what this has to do with our friend, the Baron von Munchausen). This in and of itself is not unusual, as she often sleeps at the homes of those she knows, but persists for several weeks. Trump calls fail, as do attempts to locate her with Pattern, Logrus, or Magic. Blackie sits at home and cleans himself and says nothing.
What follows is an increasingly frenetic search, because when Lord Loewen and the Bride of the Dragon's daughter goes missing, all the stops are pulled out. A Logrusghost of Kanako is called up, and it turns out to be a nine-year old girl and is of little help. Kanako's Patternghost gibbers and froths, tries to bite off Davros' head, then annhilates itself by trying to call up the Logrus. Searches in both Arcadia and Amber using the respective Jewels of Judgement fail. Nanbara then suggests that perhaps Kanako has stupidly imitated someone and drowned in their psyche, then somehow killed the original and taken their place. This triggers a huge wave of paranoia in both Chaos and Amber. Things calm down in Amber when Vice (of all people) suggests that Fuyutsuki (as Fuyutsuki can't have been killed and replaced, since his Pattern would revive him) use Resume True Form on everyone, then hold Justice, and question each member of the royal family, 'Did you kill a duplicate of yourself since the day Kanako vanished?'. All of the leading court servants are power worded and interrogated as well.
It is at this point that certain people remember Munchausen vanished for six months before Kanako did, with both Pattern and Logrus failing to find him, and resurfaced shortly before she vanished. Munchausen is swarmed by a rather large posse, and then one of the greatest feats of human history is attempted: trying to get the complete truth out of Baron Munchausen. Eventually, it is determined that Munchausen got in a fight with someone, set off a shadow storm, and the result was that he ended up trapped in a shadow where powers didn't work, and there was only one way out, which was six months away from where he started off. But there was lots of good wine.
The family concludes that Kanako probably attempted a Logrus experiment, screwed up, and trapped herself somewhere, and will eventually return. The search ends, but various people continue to fret.
1416 AY: Munchausen allegedly rises out of Ishmael's soupbowl, and begs him not to eat it, for an entire civilization living in fast time at the bottom of the bowl will be destroyed. Ishmael forces Munchausen to eat all the soup. It is later discovered that the incredibly rare and expensive soup was one of Munchausen's favorite varieties, the sort which a poor noble like himself could never afford the real thing, only shadow copies...
Munchausen shows up over Castle Arcadia in his flying gondola with Princess Asuka, and gets Violet and Kaname to come with him back to the Amberverse.
An attack on House Helgram in 1424 by an elite Melnibonean Dragon Rider corps is blunted when Melissa, Kurz, and Sousuke stage a desperate defense of the House (while most of its armies are off fighting in shadow), followed by Allen von Munchausen, Violet, Yomiko, Princess Asuka, and Princess Kaname popping out of nowhere and crushing the Melnibonean commander flat with Munchausen's flying gondola. The commander survives, only to be pulled apart by berserk swans. No, really.
Melissa and Kurz are rewarded for their role in the Battle of Helgramways by becoming members of the Shin Ten Swords. Allen von Munchausen, Princess Asuka, and Princess Kaname are all decorated and honored by Loewen. Unfortunately, Munchausen shows up for the ceremony driving a dogsled, and is chased off into shadow by Lord Loewen in a screaming fit.
Munchausen is the most honest liar in the universe. It's not that he means to lie. It's just that he's continually reinventing everything that's every happened to him in order to make it a better story. By the time he finishes, he no longer remembers that things happened any differently.
Further complicating matters is that around Munchausen, the most ludicrous and hard to believe things happen. He is as much a force of nature as a man, a mobile source of chaos, excitement, and adventure. He may drive you insane, you may hate his bragging, you may not be impressed by his efforts to be courtly, but it's a rare person who can hang around Munchausen for long and be bored. If you've been around him for a few days, you've probably experienced one of the stories he tells; yet, they can't _all_ be true, can they?
Munchausen is gracious and noble, very polite, and honest (in his own way). He has a definite amorous streak, but is genteel about it. He projects an aura of being brave and heroic, though he sometimes seems to completely panic, and many, many of his adventures seem to end with him running for his life.
He is noted as having a fair amount of Logrus skill, though he's not a true master of the art. He is also a shapeshifter of some skill, with a knack for doing imitations which has often saved him from trouble. Or gotten him into it. He is a hugely skillful performer and storyteller. Not very strong, he is middling in strength of mind and skill with a sword (although he claims to have a mind of unsurpassed potence and to be one of the greatest swordsmen of Chaos). He is somewhat noteworthy for his ability to survive terrible disasters.
Baron von Munchausen is, without a doubt one of the luckiest men in the universe. He is also one of the most diaster prone.
He is close to his father, while his mother finds him incredibly aggravating, though she seems to care for him quite a bit. He is on good terms with most of House Alars, though at the same time, the House seems rather happy that he doesn't come home much.
He continues to be quite close to Atsuko and Michelle, and quite friendly with Damask as well.
Munchausen's signature item is his great balloon gondola, which is pulled by a flock of irritable swans. In it rides his self-playing orchestra, which provides him with continual musical accompaniment on his journeys through shadow. The gondola/blimp can move at quite remarkable speeds.
He also carries large quantities of Everlasting Gobstoppers, which he freely shares with all and sundry.
Many items of great power have allegedly been possessed by Munchausen over the years, but have since either been exposed as delusions, lost, or broken.
He has been seen with Deirdre and Minako. This cannot possibly bode well.
He is now serving House Helgram after a disastrous attack on the Double Engagement Ball.
He now has begun the study of Trump.
Munchausen has perished, sacrificing himself to keep Sousuke, Yurika, Kurz, and Melissa alive.