Quotes 9.5

The Night of the Living WTFBBQNDYN

Suzuka is standing by your side, holding your hand. "Push!" she urges you.
Minako bites down hard and pushes. o O(SHE'LL PAY FOR THIS! THEY'LL ALL PAY! LOUSY SHAPESHIFTERS AND THEIR IMPREGNATING WAYS! GAH!)
The baby is a cute little girl, born with bokkens in each hand.
Suzuka says, "Awww, she has my swords."
-- This is only the beginning. The beginning.

Then a window opens in the air and Drake leans through it and grabs the baby. "Don't mind me, I have to go raise your baby in a fast-time shadow while I become drunk and bitter."
-- Just a bit of snide commentary.

Minako's spectral head suddenly extends out of your chest in a moderately disturbing way. "Something is VERY WRONG!"
-- Oh, you have no idea....

{Peanut Gallery}
Tobias says, "Note to self: NEVER FUCK SUZUKA."
-- What he said.

Suzuka asks, "What? Why? Who in the where now? Buh?"
Minako says, "I feel really weird. I mean, beyond the fact that I seem to be ONLY A GHOST."
Suzuka says, "..."
Minako floats up and out of you, then circles you slowly. "Admittedly, the flying is kind of cool, but this is really not good."
Suzuka says, "But... I mean, we were..." She takes a deep breath.
Suzuka says, "Okay. Let me get dressed, and then we'll... WHY are you..."
Minako says, "I DO NOT NORMALLY DROP DEAD AFTER SEX!!!!!"
Minako says, "I didn't even leave a corpse behind!"
-- Apparently, Suzuka's pretty good too.

{Peanut Gallery}
Iron Chef DaR says, "Well now, this is seriously going to put a crimp in a reconciliation between Tomos and Minako."
-- Indeed it will.

You now notice one odd thing; you are wearing Minako's spikard.
{Peanut Gallery}
Random says, "oh SHIT"
Akali-chan says, "Oh, good, you got yourself a spikard."
Akali-chan asks, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"
Random says, "well congrats, merc, arcadian spikard."
Akio asks, "Maybe?"
Tobias asks, "WTFFFFFTWTF?"
Random sits in a corner and cries
Akali-chan exclaims, "What the effity eff eff effing eff eff!"
-- Well, golly.

{Peanut Gallery}
Iron Chef DaR wonders how Tomos is going to react to all this. "'Let's play good news/bad news, Tomos.' 'Right.' 'Okay, first, the woman who fathered your child has decided to dump you.' '... was sorta expecting that.' 'And was sleeping with Suzuka.' '...' 'Then, during sex, she died.' '...' 'But she's a ghost now.' '...' 'And Suzuka is in her body.' '... and?' 'No, that's it.' 'WHERE'S THE FUCKING GOOD NEWS?'"
-- Tomos hears the news.

Death cocks his head. WOULD YOU LIKE THE GOOD NEWS OR THE BAD NEWS?
Suzuka says, "Bad news."
ACTUALLY, I HAVE TO GIVE YOU THE SORT OF GOOD NEWS FIRST. YOUR BODY SEEMS TO BE GETTING MARRIED. THE BAD NEWS IS THAT YOU SEEM TO BE MARRYING YOG-SOTHOTH.
Suzuka says, "..."
-- You said it, Suzuka.

Suzuka says, "Okay. I think we will need her phoenix powers." She trumps Akari.
There is a long pause, and then Akari picks up, eyes rather icy. Then they flicker slightly, and her brow furrows. "...Minako? Not Suzuka? Though you're wearing her clothes...."
Suzuka says, "No, I'm Suzuka." She swivels around so that akari can see ghost-Minako and Death behind her.
Akari stares.
Suzuka says, "There's been an... accident." fidget.
Minako waves nervously. "We have a bit of a problem."
-- Suzuka and Minako compete for the Understatement of the Year award.

Akari cuts herself off and glares murderously. "Pull me through, you freaks."
Suzuka pulls Akari through.
Minako says, "Hey, I am NOT a freak, thank you!"
Akari exclaims, "You had sex with Suzuka!"
Akari exclaims, "AND IT TURNED YOU INTO A GHOST!"
-- Freaky!

Nanbara says, "Akari, what the hell is going on?"
Akari exclaims, "You let Suzuka out of your sight, is what is going on! She had sex with Minako and now MINAKO IS DEAD AND TURNED INTO A GHOST! GET OVER HERE NOW, WIGGLEMAN!"
-- Loewen is going to kill him.

Suzuka says, "Listen, I had... Akari, you're choking me..."
Akari squeezes slightly harder. "Am I? GOOD!"
Akari exclaims, "I'mma henshin soon so I can POP YOUR HEAD OFF LIKE A DANDELION!"
Akari says, "...ohdamn."
Akari bursts into flames.
Nanbara leaps back. "WHAT THE HELL?????"
Suzuka exclaims, "Ah! HOT!"
Suzuka tries to wriggle out of Akari's grip.
Minako says, "Coool!"
Bust Akari looks down at herself and sighs. "Stupid."
Not just Akari transforms...
The flames, rush across Suzuka in Minako's body, transforming her as well...
Bust Akari says, "Oh, DAMN."
And across the hapless Nanbara...
And Minako's ghost as well.
Minako's body with Suzuka in it, Minako's ghost, and Nanbara are now all dressed like the Sailor Starlights. Nanbara seems to have turned into a woman...maybe...it's hard to be sure.
Bust Akari says, "Uguu. No, uguu does not cover this."
Suzuka says, "Oo. Black."
Nanbara looks down at him/herself? The question is solved when she speaks with a woman's voice. "I SMELL THE FILTHY HAND OF RHOANS BEHIND ALL THIS!" he pronounces.
-- Words fail us.

Twilight, someoneis trumping you.
Twilight Suzuka takes the call.
It is a giant congerie of bubbles. It hits you in the face with a pie. The connection crashes.
-- Guess who?

{Peanut Gallery}
Akio says, "I'd like to note, for the record, that this is right up there with Night of the Living Hot Tub."
Iron Chef DaR says, "Way past."
-- Woohoo!

{Peanut Gallery}
Iron Chef DaR says, "Man, that'd be a great addition to the Tomos good news/bad news scenario. 'Okay, here's some more.' 'More?' 'Suzuka's body went to marry Yog.' '...' 'And then Akari turned Suzuka and Ghost Minako into Pretty Soldier Sailors.' '...' 'Then Suzuka messed up with the spikard and Asuka had to beat her to death, so now we have two ghosts. And Pretty Sailor Soldier Ghost Minako has a whip, and Pretty Sailor Soldier Suzuka seems to like it.' 'STILL NOT SEEING ANY GOOD NEWS!'"
-- Tomos gets an update.

Suzuka says, "Please tell me my body is not pregnant."
-- You can never tell in this game.

Urd pauses, looks at Suzuka, and double-takes. "THE FUCK???"
Akari says, "Don't ask. Really."
Minako says, "Yes, exactly. The fuck."
Akari says, "..."
-- Brief and succinct.

Urd says, "Anyway, Asuka, I have a small gift for you, which I hope you will find useful." She hands Asuka something which resembles a block of metal, about the size of a small book. It is covered with odd runes.
Suzuka stares at it.
Suzuka says, "Useful is a word for it, I suppose."
Chloe exclaims, "Oh, wow!"
Asuka says, "Uh, what is this?"
Suzuka says, "Some sort of sex worker manual."
Urd says, "Chloe can build you a reader for it. It's a Sidar Training Manual, you may find useful."
Chloe exclaims, "I've only seen that mentioned in FOOTNOTES! And it's UNABRIDGED!"
Nanbara says, "..."
Akari says, "..."
Asuka turns red. "I...uh...thank you."
-- That's quite some loot.

Chloe bounces around. "And I have the solution to save Suzuka's body."
Akari exclaims, "With THAT?!"
Asuka says, "I'm not going to..." She pauses and stares at Chloe.
Suzuka watches Chloe bounce.
Chloe says, "Of course not. Get your mind out of the gutter."
Suzuka says, "..."
Akari says, "Oh, whew."
-- The manual will be used in more private circumstances, thankfully.

Akari says, "Let me get the souls switched back properly, and then I'll do some surgery."
Akari pulls a fanged teddy bear out of nowhere and extracts a large butcher knife from inside it.
Suzuka takes a step back.
Asuka looks at the Knife. "What's THAT for?"
Akari regards the knife dreamily, then kisses it.
Chloe says, "Well, we have to tell the Bride about the temple, but aside from.. oh dear."
Suzuka takes -another- step back.
Chloe glances uncertainly at Akari.
Akari abruptly changes into a little blond-haired, blue-eyed girl in a blue dress. She smiles, and there are fangs evident. "This is Count Roger. And this is his Knife."
Nanbara . o O (She's snapped.)
Minako says, "Oooh, what a cute little vampire!"
Chloe says, "..."
Asuka says, "..."
Suzuka says, "... damn narrative causality."
Chloe says, "Perhaps you should take a nice Patternwalk first, Akari."
Akari says, "I still need to be a vampire a little while longer, so I'll save it for later."
Chloe says, "I am not sure I feel comfortable letting you operate on Suzuka's soul like this."
Akari says, "Oh, it won't hurt me a bit."
-- Paging Doctor Akari....

Asuka produces several knives. o O (Normally, I would worry about letting Akari do this, but since it's just Suzuka on the line...hey, I can't lose.)
Chloe asks, "Are you sure this is safe, Akari?"
Akari says, "No."
Chloe says, "Oh, okay then."
Akari says, "But I shall be careful."
-- Of course she will.

Chloe nods. "Suzuka, do you have any messages you wish delivered if you die or are left a soulless vegetable?"
Minako says, "No, don't make her a soulless vegetable! Random will eat her or something!"
-- Mm, veggies.

Chloe says, "I'm sure it'll be fine, Minako." She considers this. "Well, fairly sure."
Chloe says, "Actually, more optimistic than sure."
-- She's just being honest.

Akari asks, "Lie down, and hold still. Actually, anyone got some rope?"
Chloe says, "I do."
Nanbara says, "I could tie her with Logrus tendrils."
Akari asks, "Could you secure her to this table?"
Chloe asks, "Would you like her hogtied?"
Akari says, "However you think is best."
Suzuka nervously lies down on the table.
Chloe rather thoroughly does a full-body rope-tie, hardly feeling up Suzuka at all in the process.
Akari walks up to Suzuka and examines her once again. The soul-lenses she has put on lights up her face with a sort of unholy glow from the angle that Suzuka can see her. "Ready?"
Chloe ^_^;
And that really isn't a ghastly smile you saw on her face for a moment. Not at all.
Suzuka wriggles. "Chloe, did the ropes really need to lift and seperate like this?"
Chloe says, "It's traditional."
Suzuka says, "Oh."
Asuka says, "For sacrif...surgery."
-- Making sure the patient is secure for the procedure.

Chloe whispers to Asuka, "Do you think we're doing the right thing, letting Akari take a knife to poor Suzuka's soul like this?"
Asuka says, "Hell, yes."
Chloe says, "Oh, okay."
Suzuka says, "Mmmmmmf."
Chloe looks much less worried.
-- How reassuring.

Akari moves the mirror in front of Suzuka. "Well, you should be all right now. There's some scarring, though."
Suzuka examines herself.
Suzuka asks, "... was it neccessary to sign your work like that?"
Akari says, "I figured it was less rude than '0wnz0r3d by 4k4r1'."
Suzuka says, "... yes, quite."
-- INSPECTED BY #6

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