Equipment Requisition Procedures
This file constitutes a basic introduction to Equipment Requisitioning. Nearly one-third of Section VI of the Bubblegum Complex Municipal Code deals with this topic and the relevant forms. Small portions of Sections I, II, III, IV, V, VII, VIII, X, XI, and XII also deal with this topic.
The following is a simplified description of the basic process, which may vary according to what is being covered.
The following assumes requisitioning from PLC; other Service Groups may possess their own special procedures.
- Determine the type of equipment needed and its Equipment Requisitioning Number
- Determine what you desire.
- Check your Security Clearance
- If Blue Clearance or Higher, Consult the High-Clearance Equipment Number Database to get the Equipment Requisitioning Number
- Citizens of Green Clearance or below must do one of the following.
- Consult the Low-Clearance Equipment Number Database to get the Equipment Requisitioning Number. WARNING: LCEND is often overloaded by requests, and may be down for repairs at any given time, without warning. Caveat Canis.
- Acquire and fill out a Equipment Requisitioning Number Information Inquiry Form (CPU-05-ERN-456 or PLC-245-YTR-31) at their local CPU Equipment Requisitioning Number Information Office or one of its sub-offices (Consult your Sector CPU Office Structure Data Chart for further information.).
- Consult a knowledgeable, friendly citizen who has the information.
- Check the number on the Equipment Information Tag which should be prominently displayed on previously requisitioned equipment of the same type
- Consult a copy of the PLC Catalog, available to any clone for fee of 10000 credits at your local PLC Catalog Request Office. WARNING: Catalog is issued Bi-Annually and may not reflect changes made in recent months. Monthly Update Service may be purchased for the low fee of only 2000 credits/month. Catalog available in print and binary formats. The Audio Catalog has been discontinued since the Infectious Hot Fun Outbreak of 269. Thank you for your cooperation.
- Attempt to extrapolate the number from known numbers. WARNING: You will probably guess wrong. But you'll likely get SOMETHING.
- Okay, you have your Equipment Requisitioning Number now, somehow. Now, you need the appropriate Equipment Requisitioning Form. You can acquire this in one of the following ways.
- Consult the PLC Catalog, which lists the appropriate form's Form Code with the Equipment Requisition Number.
- Consult CPU's Form Code Database. This may require you to fill out a Form Code Database Inquiry Form (CPU-05-FCD-34). This has Form Codes for all known forms, past and present, including some forms whose existence is currently only theoretical.
- Find a friendly clone with the information.
- Check the Form Code on the Equipment Information Tag which should be prominently displayed on previously requisitioned equipment of the same type.
- Consult with a friendly clerk at the CPU Form Code Inquiry Office. This may require filling out a a Form Code Database Inquiry Office Assistance Request Form (CPU-05-FCD-32.
- You now know the correct form you need to requisition the desired equipment. But now you NEED the form itself. This requires one of the following procedures.
- Drop by the CPU Form Request Form Request Office and fill out a Form Request Form Request Form (CPU-1-AAA-1), then drop by the CPU Form Request Form Disbursement Office to pick up your Form Request Form (CPU-1-AAA-2). Once you fill that out, you can use it to request the appropriate Equipment Requisitioning Form.
- Drop by the appropriate Equipment Requisitioning Forms Sub-Office, which may have the appropriate form handy, in return for you paying a Form Distribution Express Fee. (Typically, this is 10% of the Credit Value of the equipment in question.)
- Find a friendly citizen who has a spare.
- Okay, you now have the Equipment Requisitioning Number AND the correct form. This probably puts you ahead of 70-80% of people who try to requisition equipment. Now, you must fill out the form, adding any additional information the form requests. (A topic too diverse to be covered here). WARNING: Always Remember to Correctly Identify Yourself on the form! You are responsible for all requisitioned equipment! Your error could make innocent clones face thousands of credits worth of fees!
- Now, you must turn in your form to the appropriate PLC Equipment Requisitioning Office. They will process your request, then either disburse the goods immediately, or send you to the appropriate PLC Equipment Disbursement Facility. But wait...what if you don't know what office to go to? Lucky you, each form contains the address of the appropriate office to turn that form in at. See, isn't it easy?
- Having recieved your equipment, you now must fill out and sign an Equipment Responsibility Voucher (PLC-88-ERV-5). All PLC Disbursement Facilities maintain a stack of these. But, sometimes communist sabotage may cause the supply to run out. Never fear, you have options!
- Drop by the CPU Form Request Form Request Office and fill out a Form Request Form Request Form (CPU-1-AAA-1), then drop by the CPU Form Request Form Disbursement Office to pick up your Form Request Form (CPU-1-AAA-2). Once you fill that out, you can use it to request an Equipment Responsibility Voucher (PLC-88-ERV-5).
- For a small ERV Alternate Office Disbursement Fee (typically 2% of the cash value of the goods), you can pick up an Equipment Responsibility Voucher (PLC-88-ERV-5) at any other PLC Disbursement facility in the same sector, then bring it back to the correct facility to pick up your goods.
- Find a friendly citizen who has a spare.
- Congratulations, you have your desired equipment!
I don't know what kind of equipment I need!
This is a frequent problem, citizen, but never fear. CPU has instituted the new Crisis Information Office, which is in charge of collecting information on how to deal with any sort of problem and laying out what to do in response. The information is even keyed to your security clearance, in order to avoid certain flaws in the Pi iteration of the Crisis Response Procedure Manual (CPU-29-CRP-56), such as the 'HOT FUN FLOODING' section, which provided advice that required one to be Blue Clearance to complete all 25 steps without being executed for treason.
The Crisis Information Manual ((CPU-29-CIM-01) is still under construction, so you will need to drop by your local CIO office and make an inquiry in person, or call them on comm line CPU-29-CIM-34. They can guide you to the proper equipment for your needs.
Your Service Group may also maintain a Group-Relevant Equipment Information Office, which can supply you with needed information, but really, they can't possibly know as much about the topic as CPU does. Information is our _specialty_, not a pathetic attempt to copy someone else's superior Information Storage procedures.
Your supervisor may have the information you desire, also; I am sure he will be willing to assist you, though some supervisors may require you to fill out an Information Request From Higher-Clearance Citizen Form (CPU-57-BIV-78).
Someone told me that I'm not cleared for the information of what kind of equipment I need!
Don't worry, citizen. This is a common problem. During crisis periods, sufficient high clearance citizens may not be available to deal with a situation. Sometimes, a problem may prove to require higher-clearance information than was originally believed by your supervisors. For example, a bot may appear to have difficulty turning left. This would appear to be a problem with his Directional Sensor Circuitry, which is normally Orange Clearance in most Bot Models. But the actual problem is damage to his Asimov Circuitry, causing him to insitute 'Do not Turn Left' as a Bot Law. Repairing Asimov Circuitry is Blue Clearance or Higher for most Bot Models. Thus, the poor Orange technician, through no fault of his own, faces a problem he is not cleared to fix, and possibly not even to know of the existence of.
Sometimes, it is necessary for Low Clearance Citizens to be cleared for some specific piece of information, equipment, etc. In such cases, a Citizen must acquire and fill out a Clearance Exception Request Form (CPU-89-TYR-12), then have it approved by a Clearance Exception Request Approval Officer. He will then fill out a Clearance Exception Request Approval Voucher (CPU-89-TYR-13), which brevets you to the appropriate clearance for all issues dealing with the issue for which you requested your Clearance Exception. Do not lose this form, or someone may execute you for violating your security clearance!
I attempted to consult the Equipment Information Tag on previously requisitioned equipment, but the tag is damaged and/or missing! What do I do?
- Find the information via alternate venues
- You must requisition a new Equipment Information Tag for your requisitioned equipment. Otherwise, you may be fined for equipment damage when the time comes to turn it in.
- You must determine who is responsible for the damage to the EIT, and then fill out an EIT Damage Report Form (PLC-56-EDR-11). Turn it in to the office where the equipment was disbursed to you. They will tell you if any further procedures are necessary.
My PLC Catalog had incorrect information!
The main catalog only updates every six monthcycles. We advise you to subscribe to their Monthly Update Service, which will keep your catalog up to date. Or better yet, avoid their catalog, which is intended to soak up your credits, and just consult the appropriate CPU office, where you will find faster, cheaper service any day of the Weekcycle.
The Clerk at (Insert Office Here) demanded a bribe!
Consult this handy response checklist:
- Are you higher clearance than the clerk?
- Yes: Terminate him for treason.
- No: Are you equal clearance to the clerk?
- Yes: Report his treason to a higher clearance citizen or Friend Computer.
- No: Do you really need the desired good immediately?
- Yes: Pay the bribe, then fill out a Treasonous Demand For Bribes Report Form (IS-34567-TDB-2) and turn it in at the Internal Security Bribery Reporting Office. The demand will be investigated and if the traitor is convicted, your bribe will be returned to you. If it turns out you tried to have an innocent man killed, you will be terminated. Fair is fair.
- No: Find an alternate good acquisition method, then fill out a Treasonous Demand For Bribes Report Form (IS-34567-TDB-2) and turn it in at the Internal Security Bribery Reporting Office. The demand will be investigated and if the traitor is convicted, he will be terminated. If it turns out you tried to have an innocent man killed, you will be terminated. Fair is fair.
I am illiterate and cannot fill out all these forms!
If you are illiterate, how are you reading this FAQ? Please immediately report to HPD&MC for a Brain-Scrub and Remedial Education.
I am unable to leave the crisis site in order to fill out all these forms and pick up equipment!
CPU hears your plea for help. When you're under laser fire, you hardly have time to pop on down to PLC and request new laser barrels. But if you have a Com Unit, we can help.
Dial up the CPU Proxy Form Completion Office. Our clerks can take your information, fill out the forms for you, and send in the requests. Don't forget to request a Remote Location Equipment Disbursement Form (PLC-90-RLD-234). For a small fee (typically 10% of the cash value of the goods), PLC can deliver your equipment TO YOU. Isn't that helpful?