Page Six

Jacqueline says, "Hm. I swear by the sword to never eat The Serpent of Chaos with Radishes and Mud!"
Tylor LAUGHS.
Jacqueline blinks and waits to see if she gets the whole thunder thing.
There is no thunder.
Jacqueline says, "Erm... I guess I'm not quite attuned yet."
He says, "Well, keep working on it.
-- Well, you have to test it somehow....

You see Moonshade. She's by that reactor shaft at the end of Jedi. She has the emperor by the foot and is banging his head against the floor, while you hear Darth Vader tumble down the shaft. "LIGHTING BOLT THIS, MONKEY BOY!!!" she shouts.
-- Tenjou Stress Relief.

Jacqueline asks, "Mutsumi, a word?"
Mutsumi says to Jacqui, "Hmm...how about 'elephant'?"
Jacqueline asks, "aheh.. eh.... can I talk to you in private a moment?"
-- Ba-dum-dump!

"How'd you hit it off with Aeris, hm?"
He says, "She's a cute little kid. Very perky. Kind of reminds me of Mutsumi-chan at that age."
"Bad taste in music, though, listening to all that Big Band junk."
Jacqueline says, "aw, big band is okay."
He says, "But I'll funkify her if it kills me."
-- Construct relations, part 1

"As long as she doesn't end up as a boring dispenser of Kung-Fu wisdom like Kafuin, who really desperately needs to get laid, I'll be happy."
Jacqueline blinks.
Jacqueline blinks again
Jacqueline blinks yet again
Jacqueline tries to wrap her mind around Kafuin getting laid.
Ain't happening.
Morgenstern says, "I think he's constipated, too."
Jacqueline says, "Erm.... yeah."
"And those DAMN ugly threads he wears...if I saw a woman dressed like that, I'd have to find someone to bleed on my Pattern and kill me."
-- Construct relations, part 2

He says, "I see we will have to start your musical education over from the very beginning." He hands you a pamphlet, '1001 bad side-effects of listening to Abba.'
Jacqueline stares at the pamphlet. "Heeeey!"
Out of macabre curiosity, she flips over to bad effect 1
Listening to ABBA destroys 5,000 brain cells every second.
Jacqueline says, "...."
Jacqueline says, "oh, now, you're making this up."
Morgenstern says, "Am not." He folds his arms petulantly.
-- Is ABBA that bad, really?

Jacqueline . o O (I'm moist, I have a bone in my hand that shoots gloop, and I'm deep in a forest. This is so Freudian.)
-- it was a combat simulator, really.

Jacqueline exclaims, "AAAAAAAAAGH! I'M BURIED IN WORM PUKE!"
-- Well, shooting the poison goop in the giant worm's throat SEEMED to be a good idea...

Jacqueline taps her ring. "Uncle Mo, you done with the scan?"
"The ship is now purged of all evil. No nanomachines, no Abba, no New Kids on the Block, no N'Sync, and no Brittney Spears or Spice Girls. We are ready to rumble."
Jacqueline stares at her ring. "I tell you ABBA is NOT that evil!"
"ABBA IS PURE EVIL!!!!"
Jacqueline wrinkles her nose. "Quecha. Sounds French. ABBA is NOT pure evil!"
Kanna resists the temptation to hum a bit of "Man in the Middle."
Morgenstern says, "My agents are hunting across shadow to purge ABBA completely from this universe. Then, and only then, will Mankind be safe."
Jacqueline says, "....." Jacqueline says, "Please cancel that, Uncle Mo. Pleeeeease cancel that."
He says,"It's become quite clear that it was exposure to Abba which drove Annadil over the edge."
Jacqueline's jaw drops. Jacqueline exclaims, "Annadil did NOT sing 'Dancing Queen' while opening the Gate of Revolution!"
--Excerpts from The Jacqueline / Morgenstern ABBA debate

Jacqueline closes her eyes and sinks into her seat. "All will be well. I'm on a mission from the Unicorn."
Mutsumi says, "I thought this was a mission from Nanami."
Jacqueline smiles. "Happens to be that too."
-- Now all they need are black suits, fedoras, and sunglasses...

"You see, Abba is the anti-matter equivalent of Funk. Anti-matter is evil, therefore, Abba is evil."
-- Morgenstern showing his Mad Logic Skillz.

The morning news announces something which gets your attention.
Kanna mrrs, raising her eyebrows, munching on a buttered english muffin.
"D'arden Industries has purchased one of Sentinel's Moons, and plans to turn it into a giant Pleasure Palace. CEO J. Smith said, "We will stock it with all the whores that money can buy, and damn, it sure can buy a lot'."
Kanna says, "..."
Kanna sparfs her coffee.
Kanna asks, "... the HELL?"
Kanna just... stares at the morning news thingie. "... good pyricorn, can they -get- any more blatant?" She shakes her head, and then uses a napkin to clean up her sparfage, still wide-eyed.
Jacqueline arrives, chugging a bottle of OJ. "G'morning, Auntie."
Jacqueline blinks. "Something wrong?"
Kanna waves a hand to Jacqueline. "Jacqui, check the news. Jay and Silent Bob have gone -corporate-."
Jacqueline asks, "erh?"
Jacqueline watches the TV.
Kanna now starts taking notes with a handy notepad, as it's looking like things have gone pear-shaped.
The broadcast continues, "Apparently, the moon will be renamed 'Jacqui's House of Extreme Pleasure and Many Willing Bitches'
Jacqueline drops her Orannge Juice bottle.
Kanna . o O (Where in the Pyricorn did they get the -Funds-?!)
Jacqueline's left eyebrow twitches. "I'LL KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!"
-- Not the best way to start your morning.

At this point, back on Akasha, The Holy Tree says, "Jacqueline, we have a big problem. Our sun seems to have just gone nova, and the shock wave is going to hit us in 8 minutes or so."
Jacqueline blinks. "...... it's not my fault."
-- Really, it wasn't her fault.

"SHARE THE POWER OF FUNK, GABBY!"
-- Not quite 'Use the Force, Luke!' but it will do....

Morgenstern says, "Dammit, THE PEPPER SHAKER IS PLAYING ABBA!!!!! KILL KILL KILLL!!!!!!!!!!"
-- You find the strangest things in space.

Kanna slowly crawls over to one of the roots of the Holy Tree, looking totally... well, blasted, really. "... good pyricorn..." She tries gathering herself together. "... thought things were going okay then it all went to hell and gone and felt so -helpless-..." She shudders, clearly trying to gather herself together and not fully doing it.
Jacqueline sighs. "You get used to it."
-- After the third or fourth time it happens, yes, you do get used to it.

Gabrielle pings.
Kanna mmms, and sighs. "Yeah, sis?"
Gabrielle says, "The Shadow is about the size of a medium galaxy, and filled with utterly inert matter."
Gabrielle says, "Except for the planetoid moving towards the gateway at well in excess of lightspeed."
Kanna raises her eybrows. "Urp."
Jacqueline says, "fuck."
-- Things that you don't particularly want to hear. ('That's no Moon, that's Mageddon!')

Gabrielle says, "That thing can really MOVE. Sixty light years an hour."
Gabrielle says, "It might not even need the wormhole network if it gets to this side."
Kanna looks over the research and info on wormholes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm really impressed, sis."
-- Isn't sisterly love grand?

And somewhere, the Serpent says to Gaav's soul, "Rule #1. If the Logrus isn't working, it's time to take a hike. You wouldn't believe how many people fail to learn that. " Gaav is sent to live by the celestial ice machine for a while.
-- All's well that ends well

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