Difference (from prior author revision)
(no other diffs)
*[Queen of Clubs - "Queen of the Jungle"]?: Stranded in the wilderness, you learned to survive from wild animals who befriended you, and beat up all the other would be kings and queens of the jungle. |
*[Queen of Clubs - "Queen of the Ring"]?: You fought your way to the top of the pile of bodies in the wrestling ring. |
This draw determines your adventures before the story began. There may be subdraws. Consult the table below to see what your Backstory is.
- [2 of Clubs - "Club Club"]?: You were part of a secret underground fighting society. But it had a secret!
- [3 of Clubs - "Manly Wilderness Adventure"]?: Your trip into the wilderness went horribly wrong!
- [4 of Clubs - "Postapocalyptic Road Race"]?: In a dark future when mankind's greed has screwed up everything just enough for everyone to dress in spiked leather and somehow drive gasguzzlers without an oil distribution network, you raced across the wasteland in your improvised vehicle, fighting off rivals, mutants and sensible people.
- [5 of Clubs - "Bearpuncher"]?: You defended your right to punch bears. Damn you, Smokey!
- [6 of Clubs - "King of the Ring"]?: You wrestled your way to the top.
- [7 of Clubs - "Queen of the Jungle"]?: Stranded in the wilderness, you learned to survive from wild animals who befriended you, and beat up all the other would be kings and queens of the jungle.
- [8 of Clubs - "Dungeon Crawl"]?: Who doesn't love a good dungeon crawl? Even if you now instinctively stab anyone who gets too close to you.
- [9 of Clubs - "Yuan-Ti on a Plane"]?: Everyone who ate the fish turned into snake people and you had to fight them and then the plane crossed dimensions and crashed in the Forbidden City and... you really want a refund.
- [10 of Clubs - "Driving Miss Violet up K2"]?: You were caught in an ill-conceived crossover which could only end in disaster, snow, and trying to carry an old woman a very long ways on your back.
- [Jack of Clubs - "New Jack of Clubs City"]?: On the dirty streets of New Jack of Clubs City, you had to become a ganger to survive and fought your way to the top. Had to. The Thug Life chose you! You can't say no!
- [Queen of Clubs - "Queen of the Ring"]?: You fought your way to the top of the pile of bodies in the wrestling ring.
- [King of Clubs - "War Movie"]?: Let me tell you endlessly of my exploits in that big war.
- [Ace of Clubs - "Ace of Clubs"]?: You were a great fighter pilot ace and that was your call sign.
- [2 of Hearts - "Victorian Consulting Detective Adventures"]?: In the Victorian Era, you fight crime by vast powers of observation, a keen ability to deduct and extensive barijutsu training.
- [3 of Hearts - "How I Invented Toilet Paper"]?: You became the hero who invented... something. Before anyone else could.
- [4 of Hearts - "My Brilliance Made Me Crazy"]?: The price of being a genius was also basically going completely bonkers. Not mad scientist bonkers, but complete hallucinations that work great in a movie bonkers.
- [5 of Hearts - "Movie Trying to Be Just Religious Enough"]?: You took the place of a prophet... whoops... and tried to act out all their deeds. Hopefully, you didn't forget anything... Christians were always commanded to eat burgers on Fridays, right? Or was that supposed to be Moslems?
- [6 of Hearts - "Strange Angles"]?: You discovered the hard way that messing up your geometry homework can send you to another dimension.
- [7 of Hearts - "72 Hours"]?: You worked so hard to put him away, but you HAD to let him out of jail for 3 days to help you bring down someone much worse. Had to.
- [8 of Hearts - "24 Hours To Spend"]?: You inherited a small fortune but had to blow it all in 24 hours in order to get a *bigger* one.
- [9 of Hearts - "The Monster is Not Actually Named Frankenstein"]?: You are never answering a want ad for a lab assistant again.
- [10 of Hearts - "I Sailed With Captain Morgan"]?: You had a pirate adventure in the Caribbean and still have all your body parts... probably.
- [Jack of Hearts - "Missing Time"]?: Three days of your life are gone and weird things keep happening. What did you do and how did you get drunk on orange Kool-Aid, anyway?
- [Queen of Hearts - "My Magical Lover"]?: This is the tale of the love affair between you and something magical.
- [King of Hearts - "The Mouse That Roared"]?: Disney sued you for using the same public domain story they tried to privatize. They came at you with everything they had. This is how you survived.
- [Ace of Hearts - "Australia: The Movie"]?: Wall to wall survival horror. That continent is *off* your bucket list now.
- [2 of Diamonds - "Shonen Sports Anime #29"]?: You learned the true secret of friendship in a competitive sport.
- [3 of Diamonds - "Mayan Ball Game Heroes"]?: Trapped in the Mayan arenas, you learned to master their ball sport so you didn't end up a human sacrifice.
- [4 of Diamonds - "Pretty Warrior Coast Guard Trantor"]?: It's not easy being a magical girl... in SPACE.
- [5 of Diamonds - "Wagon Train in Space"]?: You were part of a heroic crew of space explorers.
- [6 of Diamonds - "Murder Hobos For Hire"]?: You were part of a heroic? crew of fantasy adventurers.
- [7 of Diamonds - "The Era of Fur Bikinis"]?: Your stone age clan discovered everything of importance, with the end result being a now forgotten civilization! I wonder why no one remembers it. You all had strangely good hygiene too.
- [8 of Diamonds - "The Bear of Wall Street"]?: You made a fortune selling stock you didn't actually own yet.
- [9 of Diamonds - "Attack of the Ninja Cheerleaders"]?: Perhaps mooning their team was unwise.
- [10 of Diamonds - "Better At Your Culture Than You Are"]?: You traveled to another planet / culture / time, then saved them all from evil better than they could.
- [Jack of Diamonds - "Rewritten Fairy Tale So Three Year Olds Don't Freak Out"]?: You experienced a kiddified version of a fairy tale.
- [Queen of Diamonds - "Right Out of Grimm"]?: You experienced the original version of a fairy tale. You didn't need those toes, right?
- [King of Diamonds - "Asshole Learns To Be Less of An Ass"]?: By some twist of fate, you became aware of how much of an asshole you were and came to reform.
- [Ace of Diamonds - "Soap Opera Hospital"]?: Your life was very busy between all of your cases to heal, people to seduce, sudden fires, alien invasions, lawsuits, etc.
- [2 of Spades- "Ghostpunchers"]?: When you discovered that ghosts were real, you had no choice but to see how many you could punch in the face without dying. No choice at all.
- [3 of Spades- "Invasion of the Kaiju"]?: Giant Monsters invaded your hometown. This is how you fought back.
- [4 of Spades- "Dance With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight"]?: You always feared you were damned, but you never expected the price of getting your soul back to be winning a Devil vs. Angel dance marathon.
- [5 of Spades- "My Life As a God"]?: After you accidentally killed a god, your job was to take his or her place. Uh yeah. That went real well.
- [6 of Spades- "Cosmic Remote Control"]?: One day your remote control began controlling reality. Whacky hijinx, followed by a jihad against you by cosmic forces ensued.
- [7 of Spades- "A City Made Out of Math"]?: You found your way into a strange city where everything was made out of math; this forced you to reconsider everything you knew.
- [8 of Spades- "When Space Tyrants Attack"]?: "Bring me another world to toy with and destroy, my Fighting Fetuses!"
- [9 of Spades- "The Day I Broke the Universe"]?: No one really liked the old reality, anyway, right? Ahaha.
- [10 of Spades- "Ideological Rant"]?: You had the grave misfortune to get caught inside a hate film.
- [Jack of Spades- "The Great Halfling Bake-Off"]?: The Bake-Off itself is quite peaceful. It's the necessity to do things like rob Frigga's herb garden to get the ingredients you need which makes this hard.
- [Queen of Spades- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGST"]?: Also, clove cigarettes and black makeup.
- [King of Spades- "Afterlife Adventures"]?: You died, only to discover that the adventure was only beginning. And the afterlife somehow taught you lessons about your real life. *Too late to help*.
- [Ace of Spades- "o/~ ACE OF SPADES o/~]?: You rose to the top of the heavy metal world with your powerful riffs and your ability to shout at 200 decibels.