What Are We?
We are, as the name indicates, a club that advocates the eating of flesh (specifically, human flesh) for Takatsuki Shiori. If you don't know who Takatsuki Shiori is, this is probably not the club for you; we recommend you go and watch some Shoujo Kakumei Utena, in order to discover just who Shiori is, and why you should eat flesh for her.
Okay, I Know Who Shiori Is, But Why Should I Eat Flesh For Her?
Because it will please her. Because it will grant you mystical powers, sexual potency, and the adulation of millions. Because to eat flesh for Shiori is to partake in a sacred ritual dating all the way back to several months ago. Because it will make you even cooler and more popular than smoking will. Because it cures gout. Because it will make people like you. Because the only other option is to not eat flesh for Shiori. Because whenever you eat flesh for Shiori, a fairy gets its wings. Because it will earn you the respect of your peers and the fear of your enemies. Because Hitler didn't eat flesh for Shiori--do you want to be like Hitler? Because it will help you earn money, live longer, and be happier. Because. Just because.
Yeah! I Hate Shiori! She Makes Juri Sad! Die, Goat, Die! Sign Me Up!
Begone! This is not a club for those who hate Shiori, but for those who like her, and wish to combine that liking of her with eating flesh for her.
Yeah! I Love Shiori! I Will Happily Eat Flesh For Her! Sign Me Up!
You are a person of sterling character and great personal attractiveness! Send a missive requesting membership to Alan Harnum, and you shall be added to the membership rolls. Unless you're actually a Shiori-hater in disguise (we can tell; we have strange and eerie powers).
I Understand You Have Badges?
We do indeed! To obtain your badge, keep an eye out for our representatives, who are at EVERY SINGLE ANIME CONVENTION EVER HELD (except the ones they're not at), and who will GLADLY GIVE YOU A BADGE (unless they've run out), and initiate you into DEEP AND ESOTERIC SECRETS (unless they don't want to).
Alternately, you may print and make your own badges using our handy template. This template is sized for badge holders that are 57mm (2 1/4") by 89mm (3 1/2"), because those were the cheap ones when Alan was first making them. Print this image sized at 180.5mm by 235.52mm (or whatever that is in inches, since Alan can't be bothered to calculate it at the moment), cut out, and assemble eight badges, enough for you and seven friends (or just eight badges for yourself, if you want to display particular devotion)! It's easy! Please don't alter the badges in any way without permission, or we'll be forced to wreak a TERRIBLE VENGEANCE UPON YOU (unless we don't).
ROLL CALL
President and Founder: Alan Harnum
Vice-President, Mind Control and Propaganda: Sean Gaffney
Vice-President, Hot Lesbo Action: Erica Friedman
Vice-President, Aiding and Abetting: Matt Lewis
Vice-President, Slapping: Diese
Vice-President, Sprite Distribution: Richard Beaubien
Vice-President, Pointing and Laughing: Andrew Huang
Vice-President, Juri Recruitment: Kun
Vice-President, Drunken DDR'ing: Lara Bartram
Vice-President, Vice: Dan Root
Vice-President, Blackmail: kage shinrou
Whipping Boy and Scapegoat: Mercutio