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The Rimmer Munchkin Song!

[ Ace Rimmer - What a Guy ]   

If you're in trouble he will save the day,
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may;
Without him the mission would go astray.

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
Without him life would be much grimmer.
He's handsome, trim and no-one's slimmer,
He will never need a Zimmer.

   [ Rimmer in his new uniform for the Enlightenment ]
[ Close Up of Commander Rimmer ]

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
More reliable than a garden strimmer.
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner,
He's not bald and his head doesn't glimmer.

Master of the wit and the repartee,
His command of Space Directives is uncanny.
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me!

[ Rimmer and Mr Flibble ]
[ Rimmer and Nirvanah Crane ]

Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
He's also a fantastic swimmer.
And if you play your cards right
Then he just might come round for dinner!

He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer,
No rhymes left now apart from quimmer,
We hope they fade us out before we get to schwimmer!
Fade out you stupid plimmer!

[ Rimmer and a naked clone of himself! ]

[ David Lister | The Cat | Kryten | Arnold J. Rimmer | Kristine Kochanski | Holly, Red Dwarf's Computer | The Skutters | Red Dwarf ]

© Caroline 'Kunoichi' Seawright 2000 - present
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