"I didn't know you'd be out shopping today, Kasumi."
Kasumi giggled at Dr. Tofu's antics.
"Um, Dr. Tofu?" Akane asked.
"Yes, Betty? Did you file those records like I asked?"
"No, Dr. Tofu. It's me, Akane." Akane waved her hand in front of the doctor's face.
"Oh, hello, Akane. Did Betty take your information? She's been getting very lax in her duties."
Ranma continued to stand behind Kuno, hoping the good doctor would stay on the other side of the room.
"No, Dr. Tofu. We have a problem and need your help," Akane said, avoiding the doctor's "helpful" hands. Nabiki had mysteriously disappeared.
"Of course," Tofu answered, walking towards Kuno. "I can take of a sore neck. Just hold still." He got Kuno's head between his hands.
Ranma made a strange sound and leaped behind Akane.
Kasumi giggled again. Dr. Tofu was such a darling when he did his little act.
And then the real carnage began.
"And she said she was immortal? And took a guardian? A wu?"
Akane and Ranma nodded. Kasumi had left with a book at Akane's urging so Tofu could answer their questions.
"Intriguing," Tofu said thoughtfully, putting his hand on his chin. "And she had three eyes?"
Ranma nodded; Akane merely looked uncomfortable.
There was a crunching sound from the other room and Nabiki's voice reached them. "Kuno-chan, you've got to hold still..." Another crunching noise. "Not again..."
"And she said her name was Kamiko Kuraii?"
Ranma nodded, fidgeting in his seat. Dr. Tofu always gave him the creeps for some reason.
"Well, I can look into some things, but I can't guarantee anything."
"How much are we paying him?" Nabiki asked from the other room.
"Nothing," replied Akane. "Now unfold Kuno-sempai and get in here. I'm sure Dr. Tofu has some more questions."
Nabiki came in and sat next to Akane.
"How's Kuno-sempai?"
"He'll live." Nabiki turned her attention to Dr. Tofu. "So what else do you need to know?"
"You're back so soon. Any news?"
"No, Kasumi. Dr. Tofu said he'd call when he found something." Akane kicked off her shoes. "I need a vacation," she added tiredly.
"Dr. Tofu is so nice," Kasumi said sweetly and headed back into the kitchen.
"Yeah. As long as he doesn't get his hands on you," Ranma whispered.
So two uneventful days passed. Ranma and Kuno only got into 15 more fights and Kuno died four more times. Kamiko didn't reappear, which Ranma was thankful for.
They were all waiting on edge for Dr. Tofu's call, for any information he might be able to provide. In an amazing twist of fate, cold water had managed to avoid Ranma, keeping the pig-tailed girl safely out of Kuno's sight.
Until the night of the second day. Ranma was on the roof watching the stars come out when he heard Akane's voice.
"Hey! Get away from me! No, don't come near me! Someone help!"
Ranma rolled to the edge of the roof and swung down through Akane's window (good thing it was open) to confront her attacker. It never occurred to him how she would be getting attacked in her room when everyone was home. Or why she bothered yelling for help when she could just mallet anyone into the floor.
Ranma landed with a thump, already in his fighting stance. He surveyed the room, looking to hit the first perpetrator in his sight. Instead, he was greeted by a bat clinging to his hair. "Urk!" Ranma spun wildly in circles, trying to remove the little beast from his hair. "Get it off me!"
Akane lifted her glass of water, hoping that getting the flying rodent wet would convince it to leave.
"Akane Tendo!" Kuno cried, bursting into the room.
Just as she let fly with the water.
The water did it's job quite well. The bat, deciding wet fur just wasn't it's thing, broke away from Ranma and zipped out the window. The water also left a wet and annoyed female Ranma.
"Thank you, Akane," Ranma said without enthusiasm. She looked like a half-drowned rat.
"Oh. Pig-tailed girl."
Akane and Ranma both froze.
"How pleased I am to see you. You have given my weary soul a much needed glimpse of sunshine. Akane Tendo, are you well?"
Akane nodded.
"Good." He left the room and shut the door.
"Huh?" was all Ranma could say.
"I don't know. He's just been acting weird for the last two days. You haven't noticed?"
"No. His head is just as hard as always. I'm going to get some water." Ranma exited the same way he entered to avoid another meeting with Kuno.
Akane watched her go, then proceeded to clean up the spilled water.
The new Kuno was confusing. She had heard the longing in his voice when he had seen female Ranma, but he hadn't made a move toward her. And he never tried to lay a hand on herself either. He barely got close enough to do it even if he wanted to.
She thought that maybe she had been just a tad rough on him that time on the stairs, and then that whole scene at Dr. Tofu's. That had been ugly. But if she hadn't told him straight out how she felt, then he might have continued to hold her as something she could never be. She felt bad about it, but knew it had to be done.
'You're too soft,' she thought. 'He deserved it after all the trouble he's caused you.' But did he? She couldn't help but wonder who deserved to have their heart broken. 'Just like you,' came unbidden into her mind. She supposed Kuno didn't really; he tried to be nice, his idiocy just got in the way.
Akane sighed. "Man, this sucks."
There were two sharp raps on Nabiki's door.
"Come in."
"Nabiki Tendo, I would wish words with you."
"Sure, Kuno-chan. Have a seat." She briefly wondered if he was still in the market for pictures.
He sat on her bed as she closed up the work she had been doing at her desk. "I... I require your counsel. I am not proud, but it seems you are the only one who can answer my questions."
Nabiki could almost hear the whistling of the dropping bomb. "OK, Kuno-chan. Shoot."
"Nabiki Tendo, I..."
"You know, I really wish you'd stop calling me that. It makes you sound like a telemarketer."
He blinked. "A telemarketer?"
"Yeah. Always using my full name. Like you're going to break out any second and say 'Nabiki Tendo, you may have already won 10 million yen.' I keep expecting you to try and sell me something, and we all know that's my job."
"Very well." Kuno cleared his throat. "Nabiki Te... Nabiki, I confessed my feelings for your sister two days ago."
"She told me."
"Then you must know what else I said."
Nabiki nodded.
"I desire your counsel in this matter, but also your sympathetic ear." He didn't want her to try any schemes or laugh at him; he just wanted her to listen. No one had listened to him in such a long time.
"I'm listening."
"I tire of these games. Day after day I try to make them realize how I feel."
"They know how you feel."
"Of course. Yet they refuse me. Your sister said she has no feelings for me and that Saotome has no hold over her."
Nabiki nodded.
"Then what of the pig-tailed girl? You have provided me with information about her, but your information is inconclusive. I know nothing about her but what my eyes, and my heart, tell me. I can see that she looks at me with contempt, it is all too obvious."
He paused to collect his thoughts. "Why do they reject me? What is it that they find so objectionable?"
Nabiki thought for a moment. "Each of them have their own reasons. I know you know about Akane and Ranma."
Kuno nodded. Their feelings for each other were hanging out in the breeze for everyone to see.
"And as for your pig-tailed girl... You know how she says she's not interested in guys?"
Kuno nodded again. It had been an awful shock when she had told him, and that she and Ranma were of one mind and body.
"It's true and it's not Ranma's fault. She was born that way and she doesn't appreciate people trying to tell her that she's sick or that she's confused. And Ranma has no hold over her. In fact, he doesn't even really like her."
If she phrased this right, it just might work. "He's always complaining that she comes around at the wrong time and that she's more trouble than she's worth. And she has a terrible personality; just like Ranma's, but worse." Hopefully he would accept it.
"Nabiki, there is something you are not telling me."
"Yes, but we've tried to tell you before and you didn't bother to listen or believe us." This was going to be bad.
"I am listening now, Nabiki."
"Will you listen to me?"
"I will listen."
"Akane told me you asked her about Ranma's father. And the panda."
"That I did, but what does that have to do with the pig-tailed girl?"
"Just keep quiet and listen. You probably won't like what I'm going to tell you." Nabiki took a deep breath. "I'll only say this once, and if you don't listen I'm not repeating it."
"Nabiki Tendo, I have said that I will listen and that is what I plan on doing."
"OK. That panda is Ranma's father. That pig-tailed girl is Ranma." The full explanation would come as soon as the direct approach had failed.
Kuno looked at her, his expression unchanging. "Continue."
And so Nabiki told Kuno everything she knew about the Saotome's and their curses and he never once interrupted.
"I don't believe it."
"What? How can you not believe it? What about the panda? And all the times Ranma's changed in your arms?"
"Impossible. It is not possible for a person to transform into someone or something else. I refuse to accept that explanation."
"Kuno-chan, I always thought you were dense, I didn't think you were stupid. I guess just this once I was wrong." She returned her attention to her desk. "Now if you'll please get out of my room."
"But I only..."
"No!" Nabiki spun her chair around to face Kuno. "You asked me to listen. I listened. You asked me to explain. I explained, against my better judgment. If you don't want to believe me, then fine. But I don't have to put up with you, either. So get out."
"Nabiki, I..."
"And you can call me Nabiki Tendo. I'd prefer this relationship not get too friendly."
Kuno left Nabiki's room feeling hurt and confused. He hadn't meant for her to take his words so personally. He couldn't just accept the things she had said. To do so would mean his descent into madness. He couldn't, just couldn't because sometimes he thought he was already there.
So Nabiki Te... Nabiki... Nabiki Tendo refused to speak with him. Akane was no better; she was far too temperamental. Ranma was his rival; they couldn't speak to each other, let alone discuss anything. That left only one person he could talk to.
"I would speak with you."
Silence.
Kuno sighed. "I would speak with you on matters of a personal nature."
"Go ahead."
"I have learned of a most disturbing thing. It haunts me. I want to deny it, but can not."
"Whatever are you speaking of?"
"It is about Ranma Saotome and the pig-tailed girl."
"Do not mention that wench in the same breath with my darling Ranma!"
"Please, sister. This is more important than your petty rivalry."
"What could be more important than protecting Ranma darling from that wench?"
"The true identity of the pig-tailed girl."
Silence again.
"I asked Nabiki Tendo to tell me why the pig-tailed girl and Akane Tendo always refuse me."
"Maybe it's your horrid personality, dear brother."
"Thank you, sister. It is as much as I expected from you. I can not say when next I will return home." He hung up the phone. So he had no one. Not that he ever had before, but this time, he really need it.
They were all ready for dinner. Ranma and Genma were already fighting over a carrot stick. Akane was the last to sit and the only one to take notice of Kuno's absence. "Where's Kuno-sempai?"
"I couldn't care less," Nabiki stated coldly.
None of the others even bothered to answer, they were all so fixated on the coming food.
"For Pete's sake," Akane huffed and got up. She had just come from upstairs, so he wasn't there. She looked down the hall and could see the lights from the bathroom, and only Kasumi could be heard in the kitchen.
She headed outside. The air was cool and the sky clear. The stars were shining like precious jewels in the deep blue sky. She walked around the house to find Kuno out by the koi pond. He was sitting on the rocks, staring into the water.
"Kuno-sempai, dinner's ready."
"Thank you. What I asked before, may we speak of it now?"
Akane looked back at the lighted house; she could almost smell the food. "I guess so."
"I have meditated upon this and I want to deny it. It is... It is madness! How can a man change his shape to that of a beast... or a girl?"
He looked at Akane, confusion written all over his face. "I can not accept it. To even consider it weakens my hold on reality."
"If you don't, it makes things that much more difficult. Especially with what's going on now."
"From your words, I know it is the truth. Still, it is unbelievable."
"You should have seen us the first time we found out." She giggled a little at the memory of smacking Ranma with the table.
"So, Saotome is not a sorcerer, nor does he have any hold over any women? A Chinese curse, activated by water..." He was still skeptical. There were warring parts of his mind trying to convince him of two different things. One was saying that he must accept it; there is no madness is accepting the truth, only denying it. The other, a less rational and more diseased part, was screaming at him that it was all a lie, a trick to keep his pig-tailed goddess apart from him.
He shook his head. "I wish to accept your words, yet there is doubt that gnaws at my heart. Do not think me rude."
"I understand. It took me a long time to accept Ranma's curse as something he couldn't control, something he didn't want. I don't think he would have half the problems he does now if he didn't have it. And the others."
"Others? There are more cursed in this manner."
Akane nodded vigorously. "Shampoo and Mousse both are. And who knows how many others are that we don't know about."
"Amazing." He never could have imagined.
"Come on. I'll give you a demonstration. Ranma won't mind," Akane said with a grin.
"Don't even think about it, Pop!" Ranma whisked his bowl away from his father's outstretched arm. "There's not even any food in it yet!"
"Be that as it may, you have to keep your skills sharp." Genma made another grab for Ranma's bowl just as the two were hit by cold water.
"What the..." Ranma said, and Genma held up a sign that read simply '?'.
They both turned to see a grinning Akane and a somewhat shell shocked Kuno.
Nabiki was looking at Kuno closely to judge his response. From how long Akane had been gone, the two had probably been talking. Whether Kuno had gotten a clue or not...
Kuno stared at Ranma and Ranma glared back. "So, that it is. My dreams of a perfect romance are truly dead. I have nothing else to live for."
Akane's grin fell. That wasn't at all what she expected to hear. She tossed aside the empty bucket. "Kuno-sempai, you don't mean that."
"I do. And it is not necessary to feign interest in my well-being."
"Come on, Kuno-chan. What about Kendo?" asked Nabiki. She was doing her best not to feel guilty for the things she had said earlier. It was working at the moment.
"That is a fleeting thing, Nabiki Tendo." He put a touch more formality in his voice. If she didn't want to be friendly, he could do that. Maybe then she would find how bad it made a person feel. "I am already at the peak of my skills against my peers. They provide no challenge to my abilities."
"Oh." She hadn't liked the way he talked to her.
"But what about Kamiko?" Akane asked. If he left, who would be her guardian? She knew Ranma could protect her if necessary, but if the people after her were as powerful as Kamiko made them out to be... Kuno's immortality might come in handy.
"I will not shirk my duties. You are my first and only concern without distraction." He sighed. Nothing to live for and an eternity to achieve it.
"Did you hear him? It didn't even sound like wanted to protect me. If I would have known he was going to act like that, I never would have splashed Ranma." Akane flopped back on her bed. "What did you say to him, anyway?"
"Me?" The guilt was catching up with Nabiki fast. "I didn't say anything to him," she answered quickly. How had Akane known she had talked to him?
"Oh, well you know how he listens to you. He believes everything you say. If you told him Ranma or I would go out with him if he cut off his foot... He'd be walking with a severe limp the rest for his life."
Nabiki stared at Akane. It was true, though she never thought about it. If he ever needed to know something, ever wanted an honest opinion, ever wanted advice, he came to her. And he never questioned her the way everyone else did. She had always chalked it up as his foolishness.
And she had gone and said some very damaging things to him, knowing well how fragile he really was. She swallowed hard.
They heard the phone ring.