It was almost enough to make her leave, run out on him. Yet, she had asked him to tell, and here he was, opening up to her with something he wasn't comfortable with at all.

If he had said he was afraid at any time before, Yui would have laughed right in his face. "Why?"

Saying it had been hard enough, but explaining it wasn't going to be any easier. In fact, he wasn't completely sure why he felt that way. If it was Yui, or himself, or just the sudden turn of events, it was a little... overwhelming.

There were suddenly so many things to make him doubt the situation it wasn't possible to give voice to them all. "Because of what I feel for you. I don't want..." Gendo finally opened his eyes, enjoying the warmth of her hand on his face, and was hypnotized by her worried gaze.

"Don't want what?" Yui asked, genuinely concerned.

"I don't want... to ever change the way I feel about you. I don't want to lose you." The volume of his voice dropped. "I think I would really die if I didn't have you around."

"Then why are you pushing me away? Why do you act like this?" There was more there that he wasn't telling her.

"At the same time, I'm afraid... of you, for you. How you might change me, or that I might change you." Her hand was still touching him, like a beacon in the darkness of his doubt.

"We all change over time, Gendo," Yui said, trying to sound reassuring. "That's nothing to be afraid of. You've already changed me just by... being there, being the person you are."

It was too late. He had contaminated her, changed her in ways she would never recover from. The scathing words of his mother couldn't be true; he would not allow them to be. "Don't say that, Yui. I don't want you to become like me. That's why I don't think moving in together is such a good idea."

"So you're afraid of commitment?" It was weird. She didn't quite know what he was trying to say. If it was that he was a bad person, he was wrong. Yui knew he wasn't bad; perhaps a bit misguided, but... there was a sweetness in that she couldn't deny. "Gendo, why would I have ever suggested living together, for financial reasons or otherwise, if I didn't want you more in my life? That's why I want to know as much as I can about you.

"I see things going on behind your eyes, but have no idea what they are. So I'm going to ask you one thing, and if you really don't want to, you have to say so. Okay?"

Gendo nodded miserably.

"Trust me enough to know that I love you. And trust me enough to let me know what's going on behind your eyes. If you don't trust me that much, then... we won't move in together." Yui removed her hand from his cheek and stepped back. 'Trust me,' she thought. 'It's the only thing.'

Of course he trusted her, but then why did he have to be so jealous? Because he... didn't believe her. It wasn't about trust, but self-worth. Why wouldn't she run off with a man like Fuyutsuki who could provide her with everything she wanted? He was, after all, smart and had a stable income, and a comfortable place to live probably...

And who was Gendo Rokubungi? Nobody. Nothing. A man just like his father, doomed to a life of mediocrity, with a mediocre wife and mediocre children who would carry on the quite mediocre family name.

Someone like Yui would only make people notice just how inadequate he was in comparison to her. What a failure he was, what a... completely inferior person he was. "I'm... so sorry, Yui," he finally whispered.

"So that's it. Then I guess..." Yui paused and wiped her eyes. "I guess we're through, because I can't do this again. Not like this."

She was about to turn away, but his voice stopped her. "I trust you, but I'm... I'm not nearly as good a person as you think I am."