{These characters are not property of me. I would never attempt to claim them as my own. This story may not be used without my permission, and may not be used to make money in any way, shape or form. Characters and certain situations were created by Rumiko Takahashi, so don't try any funny stuff!}
I couldn't just walk up to him and do it. Not with everyone looking. Hell, I'd be laughed out of school. I had to pick and choose the time carefully. Besides, there wasn't any sort of time limit, I'm trusted enough to not wimp out on a bet. I would do it when I was ready to, and not a moment before.
Apparently, the word had gone around to our little 'circle' and the size of the pot had grown to respectable proportions. Some of them were wise enough to know not to bet against me and had, instead, made side wagers on how long it would take me. Some of the less faithful actually bet that I wouldn't do it all. I was disappointed in them.
So I watched him a little more closely than usual the next few days, trying to spot an opening. Unfortunately, he was never without a chaperone of some sort. Whether it was the rest of the Kendo team, my sister beating him away or just plain gone home (I'm not crazy enough to go there with Kodachi lurking around). I did see him one day blathering furiously to the rest of the debate team. There was some little contest coming up and he wanted to make sure they all gave a good showing for dear, old Furinkan.
I was surprised. I hadn't heard a peep about this contest. Someone was slipping, and it wasn't me.
I heard the grumbles. A couple people had lost their bets already. They didn't understand that a good plan takes time to come to fruition. I watched it begin to blossom before my eyes. He probably wouldn't know what hit him; that made me smile. He was so thick, it was cute sometimes. And need I add profitable?
Anyway, Megumi got me all the details on this contest (after I asked, though... good help is getting hard to find). He was going to be the last to speak and would be waiting in the wing all by his lonesome. That was when I would strike. No one would be able to see what happened, yet everyone would be able to tell if I had succeeded. Not that it mattered, I wouldn't fail. Simple.
I informed my bettors of my plan and watched the betting slips start to fly. They bet on any and all aspects... If I did it (don't bet against me), if he would faint, if he would start yelling (which was the last thing I wanted him to do) and if he would even be able to finish his speech.
For a moment, I considered that they were going overboard with the whole thing. Then I figured out the pile of cash I stood to make and dismissed that idea. So I confirmed that at least several of my backers would be present at the contest and was content to wait.
I couldn't believe it. He was waiting to go out there in front of everyone in that getup. So much for a good showing. I waved away my anxious observers, letting them know their prying eyes were not wanted. They'd only end up bringing unnecessary attention anyway.
I stepped into the darkness of the wing. I carefully avoided the chairs that were stacked up and walked towards his dim figure (you can take that in whatever way you'd like, it'd be true).
Briefly, I thought what the consequences of this might be. Maybe he would go ballistic, but not likely. I just hoped he wouldn't try and grab me like he's always doing with Akane. Mostly I expected him to get all flustered and start babbling at me like he always does, then go on stage and do his little speech. Then he'd just deny the whole thing had ever happened. He's good that way.
When I got close enough, I could see he was looking out onto the stage with his back to me. He was so intent on the guy speaking that he didn't notice me step up behind him. "Hey, Kuno-chan," I said quietly. I hid my smirk as he startled.
He whirled around and gave me his best 'I'm very displeased with you' look. It was getting harder to hide my smile. "What is it that you require, Nabiki Tendo?"
He actually spoke quietly, so as not to disturb the speaker. Holy cow, I was thrown for an instant. "Nothing. Just checking up on my investment." What did people do before the white lie?
He frowned at me. He had made the expected assumption, as I planned. It was no wonder, though; I practically had him trained to make wrong assumptions. That thought did it. I couldn't hide my smile any longer. A real big, amused smile. He wouldn't like it.
"And what, pray tell, is it that you find so amusing?" Now he was getting defensive, which he had good reason to be.
"I was just thinking... How smart do you think it is to wear that to a speech contest?"
He tried to look his most dignified, which turned out to be his most comical. "It is the appropriate outfit for a samurai."
Oh boy, he was just begging for it. "But this is a speech contest, not mortal combat." I'm not sure he could tell the difference. Maybe, to him, there wasn't a difference.
"I am aware of that Nabiki Tendo."
Stony silence. He was mad. The boy couldn't take a joke to save his life. Jeesh. "Whatever you say, Kuno-chan." I rolled my eyes, still not believing what a twit he was after all this time.
He snorted slightly and turned his attention back to the stage. I could hear the guy beginning to wrap things up and knew it was time. I put my hand on his arm and turned him around. He looked surprised and was about to ask me something when I did it.
I leaned up and kissed him. I aimed for his cheek, but was a little off and ended up closer to his mouth than I planned. No gagging sounds please; he's really not _that_ bad. As long as I'm not a costar in one of his fantasies, I'd kiss him any day over Akane's cooking. Besides, I don't think idiocy is transmittable by casual contact.
I could feel his entire body become as rigid as a board (minds out of the gutter, please) and waited for the explosion. But there wasn't one. He just stood there, staring at me. That was my cue to leave, so I turned around and walked away. I wondered how long it would take him to get his brain out of neutral, even if it was back into reverse.
They announced his name so he could have his one yen's worth on stage. I waited out of sight in the wing, composing myself. I would be assaulted with questions and had to compose my answers. I left the wing as they announced his name twice more.
All heads turned my way as I walked out of the darkness. I could tell they had 1000 questions to ask, but politely held them back. "Quiet now. We don't want to disturb the speaker, do we?"
A couple of them looked up to the stage and started snickering. Emiko poked my shoulder, wanting me to look up as well. I could imagine his face, red as the setting sun, his eyes all spaced-out looking. I didn't need to look up there.
The microphone picked up a dry tick and let loose a batch of feedback. I looked up then. He wasn't red and he wasn't angry. He looked embarrassed. That might have been a first. I mean, everyone knows the Shooting Star doesn't get embarrassed, no matter how big a fool he acts like.
"Did you do it?" Megumi whispered.
I watched him look at us and nodded. Soft curses were muttered around me, then someone shoved a small wad of bills into my hand. And another, and another. I watched his neck start to turn pink. Was that thunder I heard? No, just Kuno-chan's temper about to go off.
He took the podium in a deathgrip and proceeded to make the most ridiculous statement I have _ever_ heard. He stood there, still mad as a bear who's had his honey stolen, as the auditorium exploded into whispering (it's an interesting phenomenon). He was looking at me, trying not to appear like it. Of course, he's about as subtle as a beached whale on his best day, and the whole thing was just too humorous. I smiled and shook my head. Would he ever learn?
He stomped off the stage, in the wrong direction, and disappeared into the wing. I wonder if he knew what a monumental mistake he had made. Probably not; does he ever? I got away from my whispering, and poorer, associates and headed back to the wing.
There he sat, in the dark, with his hand at his face. Maybe I took this one too far... But why did I care at all? It was kind of like teasing an animal, I think. It's funny at first, but then you start to feel sorry for it. Well, I'm sorry to say, but this animal was more valuable than an entire farm of minks and ermines.
"Hey, Kuno-chan?" I decided to tread lightly, lest I lose a major source of income.
He stood up violently and growled at me. "Hold, Nabiki Tendo." Oh yeah, he was mad. "I want little to do with one such as yourself." Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. "You who would play with my affections." Leave 'em out on the field and that's what happens. "No longer will I be a source for your amusement." We'll see about that. "So keep your stories of false physical affections to yourself." I didn't plan on having any stories of physical affections, false or otherwise. He marched off preparing to enter the auditorium.
Sure, he put up a pretty good show of being angry there towards the end, but I could tell he was more confused than ever. I wondered how his first kiss would affect him, since he seemed so... emotional about it. Especially under these circumstances. Sorry about that Akane.
I watched him walk away, and found myself considering how someone could get so messed up. What were his parents like? He's not as bad as Kodachi, so what did that say about them? Did they know he acted like this? Did they know he was two steps removed from assault? I guess they had never bothered to put any of the fortune towards therapy.
Maybe, if someone could actually get through to him, it'd be interesting. How would he change? Would he change at all? But really, how do you convince someone that doesn't want to be convinced? How do you change someone who doesn't see anything wrong with the way they act, and doesn't even realize that they're acting like an idiot?
How do you convince someone, who's very nature is idiocy, that it gets you nowhere? That people don't like pompous and arrogant fools, and he's only hurting himself.
This whole incident has really provided me with some incite. I never really got heavily into metaphors and similes, but just this once. He's like a watermelon. Real expensive, and looks pretty neat on the outside... but once you get to the inside, there's just nothing there.
And he had slightly more common sense than a watermelon. He just doesn't (or won't) believe that a guy with intelligence, looks and money could have anything he wanted. Anything. Even my sister.
Or... "Kuno-chan, if you only knew the truth."