{These characters are not property of me. I would never attempt to claim them as my own. This story may not be used without my permission, and may not be used to make money in any way, shape or form. Characters and certain situations were created by Rumiko Takahashi, so don't try any funny stuff!}

Gluttony

"Pop, you're such a pig!"

"You're just jealous, boy. Next time, you'll have to be faster to get the last piece of eel."

"Next time, why don't you try to eat your own portion instead of everyone elses!"

Genma laughed and slurped down the last bite of eel. "Boy, if I hadn't eaten it, you would have." He gave Ranma a big grin, one that spoke of superiority, one that Ranma hated.

"Fine, Pop. You're right. I would have." With that said, he dumped some cold water over Genma's head.

[Don't be so jealous, boy!] is what the panda's sign read.

"Feh. Who would ever be jealous of a pig like you?" Ranma said as he walked away. 'Except maybe Ryoga.'

"Growf!" [Plenty of starving pandas in China!]

Ranma didn't bother to read the sign. He knew it was just his father's attempt at getting some pity and making himself feel better about being such a... pig!

Genma looked at the food set out. Kasumi could cook like no other. Well, maybe his wife... He shuddered. How he adored a good home-cooked meal. And a store-bought meal. And a fast-food meal. Okay, so any meal in general was good for Genma. Hey, a growing man has to eat.

"This looks delicious, Kasumi."

"Why thank you, Uncle, don't you think the others will enjoy it?"

"Why surely..." The others? "What do you mean, 'the others'? Don't I get to..." Genma gulped audibly.

Kasumi giggled. "Of course not. You're on a diet, remember?" She set down a bowl of something green and far too healthy looking for Genma's tastes.

"A d... diet? Since when?" He could only stare at the bowl in front of him with disbelief. There was no way he could survive on that kind of food!

Kasumi giggled again. "Since last week. Don't try and fool me. Now eat up. We wouldn't you to lose your strength, would we?" Kasumi smiled magically.

Then the others came, running, gathering at the table, and began to eat. Genma stared at each one of them, all intently eating the delicious morsels that Kasumi had prepared. And there he was, stuck with... health food!

Even Akane seemed to be eating with uncommon gusto. Feeding P-chan every fifth or so bite, Akane was shoveling it in as fast as she could, barely keeping up with Ranma. Soun had his newspaper up, but Genma watched the food disappear behind just as quickly as Akane's was going.

"I've got business to do," Nabiki said, pushing her empty dishes away. The food was great, Kasumi."

Genma gaped. What was going on?

"Yo, Pop. Ain't ya goin' ta eat?" Ranma asked, food flying out of his mouth as he spoke.

"Ranma, don't speak with your mouth full," Soun said from behind his paper "You waste food that way."

"Sorry." Ranma swallowed the food in one throat-widening gulp, and tried again. "So why aren't ya eatin'?"

"I just... I'm kind of..."

"Don't tell me you're tired of that rabbit food already. Just yesterday you were saying how much you liked it." Ranma smiled at his father. No more fighting over the food. It was nice. And even better, his father seemed to actually LIKE the diet meals.

"I... liked it?" Genma looked down at the bowl and grimaced. 'How could I ever like THIS?' he thought.

"Yeah, Pop. Did Mr. Tendo beat you too bad at Anything Goes Martial Arts Shogi yesterday? You took a pretty good shot."

'I lost?! It can't be possible!' Genma gaped before noting the strange looks Ranma was giving him. "Um, well, yes, you know, I wasn't prepared for that strike. I was caught a little off-guard."

After everyone had gone, Soun wouldn't let up. "Come on, Saotome, let's go."

"No, Tendo, I'm not feeling so well. My... head is bothering me." In truth, his stomach was ready to start growling like a lion; the diet breakfast hadn't done anything to fill him up and it tasted like absolute garbage.

"I just think you're a sore loser, Saotome," Soun said, grinning broadly. He hadn't beaten Genma, and Genma knew it. Oh what a glorious day it was!

Genma nodded absently, then wandered through the house, leaving Soun to watch him go.

Soun had gone out for a jog, something he didn't do all that often, leaving Genma and Kasumi alone in the house. Kasumi was preparing a light lunch for her and her father, and the regular batch of diet food for Genma. The same thing she had been doing for the past week; she was settling into a comfortable schedule.

There was a ding that meant the laundry was done. Time to hang them out to dry. She left the food cooking on the stove while she took care of the clothes.

Genma watched her go, then snuck into the kitchen. Just one little morsel of food... That was all he needed. Just one. He opened the refrigerator quietly and grabbed a dish of leftovers.

How leftovers survived a meal, after what he saw at breakfast, he didn't know, but it was just as well. He needed the food much worse than this house of... gluttons.

Genma peered out of the kitchen to make sure Kasumi was still occupied, then began shoveling food in his mouth. Unfortunately, the dish was empty before he was full, though it had tasted divine. Groaning quietly with dismay, Genma cleaned the evidence as best he could and put it away.

It was kind of odd; he wasn't sure why he was so concerned with not being found out, but he definitely didn't want anyone to know he was cheating in his... his... The word was like bright sunlight to a cave-dwelling beast. Genma wanted to physically shrink away from it.

His diet.

"Uncle Saotome?"

Genma spun around, clutching his chest. "Why, Kasumi! You frightened me!" He laughed wildly, then, without another word, scurried out of the kitchen.

"Oh dear. He must have been looking for his diet lunch. I'll have to fix that right away for him."

Genma looked at the board. He had lost to Soun. And Soun hadn't cheated? Soun had hit him? His best friend could never... The very idea of losing to Soun was preposterous! Soun, who stayed at home at his comfy little dojo and didn't even teach classes had hit him!

He had trained for ten years with Ranma, and then had been hit by Soun. Genma's mind would just not release that concept. Hit by Soun!

Just what was Anything Goes Martial Arts Shogi anyway?

"Up for another match, Saotome?"

Genma shook his head slowly, still confused. "Not today, Tendo."

"How about a regular game then? We haven't done that in a while," Soun suggested, sitting across from Genma at the board.

Nodding glumly, Genma rested his head in his hand while Soun set up the pieces on the board. His stomach gurgled uncomfortably, just to add to his overall annoyance.

The game proceeded even more slowly than Genma was used to. His stomach was not only gurgling, but downright upset. He could feel himself sweating and regretted eating the leftovers. Though he could have never predicted Kasumi's food to give him an upset stomach.

"Saotome? Do you fell all right?" Soun asked, seeing the glazed look in his friend's eyes.

"I don't think so, Tendo." Genma burped and tasted the disgusting surge of bile. His large frame swooned a little and he put a hand over his mouth. "I think I need..." He choked back the urge to throw up, stood and ran to beg mercy from the porcelain gods.

"Still in bed, Kasumi?"

"Yes, Father. He doesn't look good at all. I think we should take him to the hospital."

Soun's brow furrowed. "Yes, I suppose we should. I couldn't just let my oldest friend be miserable like that."

"I'll call the hospital and then get dinner started." She smiled warmly.

"Excellent, Kasumi!" Soun said brightly, his worry disappearing.

Genma frowned at his diet meal and ate slowly. The others inhaled their food around him, not paying any attention to his unhappiness.

The hospital had been a miserable experience. The doctors had been unable to find any real reason for his illness, so they had pumped his stomach and given him foul-tasting medicine.

Soun had waited cheerily by his side, talking endlessly about the dinner Kasumi had prepared and how delicious it had been.

Genma hated him a little for that.

Still contemplating his misfortune, he didn't see everyone else finish and the table clear. He ate his food with as much malice as he could conjure up, though it didn't do much good against food. He really wanted to get his hands on the person who decided he should be on a diet.

Shove a carrot stick up his...

"Saotome! Another game?" Soun suggested enthusiastically.

And Soun was far too cheery for his own good ever since he had started beating him at shogi. That would have to end very soon.

"Again!" Soun laughed as he beat his friend once again. "Saotome, you're slipping!"

"Right, Tendo. Whatever you say."

"I'll get us something to drink to celebrate while Kasumi's at the market." Soun stood and left the table.

Before Genma could even contemplate what he was doing, he shoveled three of the cookies Kasumi had left for her father. It served Soun right anyway, for gloating like he did.

Genma couldn't believe it. Another night spent over the toilet, heaving his guts out. Whatever was going on, he didn't like it. At least it wasn't a return trip to the hospital though.

He didn't want to believe it had been the cookies. They were so delicious...

His stomach heaved at the barest thought of them.

"Hey, Pop. Wanna practice after dinner?"

The sounds of the others eating, however brief, was the absolute most disgusting sound Genma had ever heard. He kept his eyes glued to his own plate of health food, as just glimpsing the other plates heaped, overflowing with dinner, made him sick to his stomach.

"Not today, boy," he mumbled, wishing he had a newspaper to hide behind like Soun did.

"That stuff is makin' you weak, Pop! Here, have a little of mine." Ranma shoved the bowl of fish and eel and rice under his father's nose.

Genma stared in absolute horror for about three seconds, then bolted from the table, hand over his mouth.

"Just relax, Saotome. We're going back to the hospital."

Genma just groaned. The leftovers had been bad, the cookies really annoying, but Kasumi's delicious yakitori, which he had been unable to resist sneaking a single piece, was hell.

"Saotome, if they don't figure out what's wrong with you, we might have to leave you in the hospital. Next time, you might actually hurt yourself, and we don't even know what it is!" Soun's lower lip quivered.

Again, Genma groaned, laying there in complete agony. If only Soun would just shut up and let him be miserable in peace.

Resting after having his stomach pumped, Genma hoped to never again even _see_ a tasty morsel of food. Each one tempted him, and when he gave in to that temptation, made him horribly ill.

They politely gave him crackers and water, and that was fine. He could handle that, but when they tried to give him something a little heavier, he pushed it away and refused to look at it.

He reclined in the bed and closed his eyes, his body exhausted from the effort it had taken to turn his innards inside out into the toilet, then have them shoved back in by the doctors. It took only a few minutes of sweet darkness and silence to send him to sleep.

"Yo, Pop! Time ta get up!"

Genma woke up, wishing he hadn't. He couldn't even remember the ride back from the hospital, and his entire body was terribly weak. "How long have I been passed out?"

Ranma looked confused for a moment before saying, "All night. Like ya usually are. Are we gonna spar this morning or not? You're usually the one throwin' me out the window."

Groaning, Genma closed his eyes again and covered his head with a pillow.

Grinning, waiting fro the next deception from his father, Ranma was ready to toss the old man out the window. But after a few moments, it appeared that his father really wasn't going to attack. "Jeez, Pop, what's wrong with you?"

Snorting in disgust, Ranma left the room to go to breakfast.

"Where's Uncle Saotome?"

"I dunno, Kasumi. He was still in bed and didn't wanna spar this morning," Ranma answered, food mid-way to his mouth.

"I'll just go and check on him."

Kasumi returned five or so minutes later with a very pale Genma following. "I made extra for you, Uncle Saotome. See."

Kasumi stepped aside and revealed the table set with breakfast in its full glory.

Genma stood frozen as his face cycled through several shades of green.

"Pop, you don't look so good," Ranma said, spewing food out as he spoke.

A bit of rice landed on Genma's arm and let loose the flood.

"We'll miss you." Kasumi hugged the larger man gingerly.

"It's for the best. I'll be fine; don't worry about me." Genma turned to his old friend. "Tendo, keep up the game without me." He shook his friend's hand and boarded the train.

Everyone on the platform watched solemnly as Genma Saotome left their lives.

"It just won't be the same."

"We'll manage. I mean, he's done so much to... hurt you." Akane blushed.

"Yeah, but... he's my old man." Ranma shook his head. "It just ain't going to be the same."

Sighing, Akane looked at her feet. "Who would have imagined him becoming a monk?"