{These characters are not property of me. I would never attempt to claim them as my own. This story may not be used without my permission, and may not be used to make money in any way, shape or form. Characters and certain situations were created by Rumiko Takahashi, so don't try any funny stuff!}
This was done in response to a message on the FFML about taking a hour to write a story about any anime you wanted. Sit for an hour and type away.. no editting, no nothing. This was my contribution.
"I... I don't know what you're talking about. You're not making any sense." This was bad, very bad.
"You know very well what I'm talking about. Don't play innocent with me, Ryoga. I can't believe you hid this from me!"
"But, it wasn't... I didn't mean to! It's not my fault!"
"And whose fault would it be? Mine?"
"No, no. It's all Ranma's fault! It's because of him that I..."
"Ranma made you act like a pervert? He made you lie and act like a low-life worm?"
Ryoga cringed away. He had never heard her voice quite reach that tone and it didn't sound very nice to his ears. "Well, no... But he..."
"So it's not his fault. Then WHOSE fault is it, Ryoga?"
The way she had put that accusing emphasis on Ryoga made him grimace. "Well, I guess it's..."
"Yours? Your fault?"
Ryoga nodded meekly. It really was his fault. He had done all those awful things. Even if Ranma had caused his curse, he hadn't forced him to stay as P-chan. But Akane had been so sweet, and he had been so lonely. "My fault..."
"Ryoga, just what did you think would happen? What did you think it would accomplish?" Her voice had softened a tad.
"I... I don't know." He was so ashamed. Nothing had gone the way he had planned. "I just wanted... needed someone to..."
"To peep at?!" Her tone had grown harsh again.
"No! I never wanted to! I always turned away! I could never..."
"Never peep, eh? But sleeping in the same bed is fine, right?"
"No. It's not, but I..."
"Ryoga, you're such a hypocrite. I just can't believe you. I don't see what Ranma sees in you to call you friend."
Ranma call him friend? What a joke. If Ranma had been his friend, he never would have... <What?> a voice within him asked. <Accidentally knocked you into the spring? Did you hear me? Accident!> But it had ruined his entire life! <No, you ruined your entire life. Why did you insist on clinging to stupid, petty rivalries over BREAD?> Stupid, petty... Ryoga figured that was a fairly accurate description of himself. He felt less than two feet tall.
"I'm... sorry."
"As well you should be, Ryoga. But I don't know if I can forgive you. All the people here have only tried to be your friend, and how do you repay that kindness?"
"I never knew..." <Never wanted to know that people were your friend, you mean.> "I never wanted to see..."
"You're so wrapped up in your revenge and how miserable you are that you can't even see that people are trying to be nice to you. How selfish. I just don't understand you."
In truth, he didn't understand himself. He didn't like being unhappy all the time, but it was a part of his soul. Misery was his only friend, or so he had thought. And now it was the truth. "I'm sorry."
"You already said that. I want an explanation."
Was she actually willing to forgive him? "An explanation?"
"Yes. Why did you do it?"
Why didn't anyone understand him? <You don't understand yourself, and you expect other people to? You don't let anyone get close.> "When I showed up, all I cared about was revenge. Ranma had ruined me when he knocked me in the spring. It was bad enough before when he made a fool of me inf ront of the entire school." His voice dropped to a whisper. "And all over some stupid bread."
"And that's supposed to mean something to me? I never understood any of your revenge infatuations. Just tell me why."
"Ranma beat me. Every time, he beat me. He was so much better than I was, I would never get my revenge. But I NEEDED it, I needed to beat him. He was so cocky, he didn't have a care in the world."
He sighed, he wanted to break into tears. "I wanted to ruin him. But when he beat me and I turned into that cursed pig... What could I do? It was a weakness I couldn't overcome, a fault easily exploited by someone like Ranma."
"But you know Ranma would never use somethign like that against you."
"Of course. I knew that, but I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to keep the idea of Ranma being a dishonorable dog. That would... keep the hate fresh in my mind." Hate. It was such a strong word. "But the first time, I was so ashamed. I was a pig! And Ranma knew it. Ranma had caused it!"
"SO I ran. I ran and I got lost of course. I had no idea where I was, but then... I was so alone, so ashamed, so empty inside. I couldn't go home; I didn't know where home was. And even if I did go home, who would be there for me? My parents were gone a lot. I hadn't even talked to them before I left."
"So when someone showed affection for me, especially as a pig, I just couldn't let go. I tried to tell myself that it was just because I was a pig; which it was. But I couldn't stop thinking that I didn't really care."
"I didn't care, but Ranma cared. But I had him. I had beaten him at least once. He had promised not to reveal my secret, and as much as I hated him, he kept it. It was gettign harder to hate Ranma, though."
"I tried, I tried very hard. He was always making fun of me, calling me names, insulting me over a condition that he had caused. So I lashed out, even if I was only a pig. It was so pathetic that I was able to do as P-chan that I wasn't as a man."
"But... but I wasn't really a man.What kind of man turns into a pig? I completely understood Ranma's fear about maintaining his manliness, I still do. I had lost mine more than he had, though. I did... things that no man would ever claim to... I was a pig in mind, body and soul."
Ryoga sank down to teh ground, and put his face in his hands. "And now... I ahve no one to blame but myself for my misery. I'm just a pig and can never be anything but one."
"Oh, Ryoga. Why didn't you say something sooner? If you just would have explained..."
"What? Explained that I'm an awful person and please forgive me?" He laughed bitterly. "Sometimes I wish I had, just to get it over with. Let them tell me to get out and never come back, and go back to my pitiful existence... But then, you found out."
"How long did you think you could hide it?"
"I don't know. I was hoping forever, or maybe not. Maybe I was just hoping you would find out..."
"Ryoga, you need help. You need more help than I can give you. I just don't think you... you could ever be... the man you want to be." There were tears in her eyes. It hurt to tell him that, even after all that he had done.
"You don't forgive me?"
"I do, but I can't... I can't keep this inside me, knowing what you did. I need time without you around."
Then Ryoga did start to cry. "Please... please..."
"I'm sorry, Ryoga. I'm so sorry for everything." She walked away, leaving him in the park all by himself.
He watched her go. "I'm sorry, too, Akari..."