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Pastpresent
by Susan Doenime
R1/2 characters and backstory are the creations and property of Takahashi
Rumiko. Used without permission. No challenge to copyrights should be
inferred or taken.
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Pastpresent homepage at: http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/pastpresent.html
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Pastpresent 1 - Beautiful Friendship

		I was born and bred in Nerima, and I've by now been 
	laid to rest here. Despite a lifetime of wandering, it's 
	home. You knew that, didn't you? I could tell.

		I grew up in the shadow of the war, and in some 
	ways this was fun. I played in the rubble of factories, 
	and watched the machines and people build new 
	structures... it was an era of machines, of technology and 
	oil and moving parts. 

		And the contradictions, which were hard to 
	understand. My father had fought in the war, and it was 
	the war that killed him... slowly killed him, starting with 
	his missing legs. He didn't like the new Japan much. 
	Neither did mother.

		The Kasigi clan had been samurai of the very 
	lowest class, before Meiji. Father was very proud of this. 
	I suspect, had he been able, he would have attacked the 
	American occupiers with the family sword. Not that 
	there was a family sword.

		They wanted their son to honor the old ways, and 
	they also wanted him to be a sort of samurai warrior 
	person, for the day when we kicked out the Americans 
	and reclaimed our overseas possessions. Yes, both of 
	them were quite mad. But these two desires led them to 
	send me, while still young, to Saotome-sensei for 
	training in the Art. I will always be thankful to them for 
	that.
	
		I wasn't a good pupil. I was superb.

		I learned the Art, and I went to school, and I held 
	down a part-time job... oh yes, and occasionally I did 
	things with my friends.
-------------------------

	"Hold still so I can kill you!"

	Genma ducked, and the thrown monkey wrench flew over 
his head to shatter part of the high brick wall behind him. 
"Missed me. Nyah."

	A tire iron swung towards his stomach, whistling 
through empty air as he leaped over it to land atop the wall. 
"Kiri, I get the feeling you're upset at me."

	The girl with the tire iron smiled sweetly at him. "Gee, 
Kasigi-san, whatever gave you that idea?" The smile suddenly 
contorted into a look of rage. "Now come down here and die!"

	The apple Genma threw caught her squarely between the 
eyes. "Uh-uh, not while you're in one of your James Dean cycle 
thug moods. Jeez, you'd think I murdered your dog or 
something."

	Kiri scowled up at him. "No-one touched my motorcycle 
and lives to tell about it. Especially not some Kung Fu jock 
pig."

	"Kempo, not Kung Fu."

	"Whatever." She leaned against a nearby tree, and 
smirked. "I can wait here all day, Genma. I'm not the one who's 
supposed to be meeting Nodoka in ten minutes."

	He grinned back, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah? 
And what's to stop me from just jumping down on the other 
side of the wall, huh?" Not that Biki Kiritsubo wasn't easily 
capable of climbing the wall after him, or even breaking the 
thing down with leather-gloved fists and that tire iron of hers. 
But it'd buy him enough time to get a good head start.

	He loved teasing Kiri. Partly because she had been 
snarling at him ever since they were six, partly because the 
cycle fanatic was just plain weird for a girl, and mostly 
because it was incredibly dangerous to do.

	Kiri grinned back, an evil glint in her eye. "Nothing at all, 
Genma. Go ahead."

	And that's when he heard the low growl from the other 
side of the wall.

	Slowly, unwillingly, he turned himself around on his 
perch. Yup. Dogs. Big dogs. Dobermans.

	He jumped to one side, narrowly avoiding Kiri's thrown 
wrench, and nearly lost his balance. The dogs snarled, and 
began to try to jump up the side of the wall.

	Genma didn't like dogs.

	"Them or me, Genma," Kiri called from below. "Think 
carefully, now. I won't bite. Just beat you to within an inch of 
your life."

	He huddled atop the brick wall, the grin gone. If it was a 
choice between the Awful Wrath of Kiritsubo and the dogs, he'd 
take Kiri. But then he'd show up at the master's house with a 
black eye or two, which wasn't exactly desirable. Because he 
was going to inherit Saotome-sensei's title and school, and it 
was important that he convince the master that he was worthy 
of this. 

	Showing up and explaining that he had been beaten to a 
pulp by the neighborhood Junior Hell's Angel... was not doing to 
do much for his chances.

	Kiri casually rolled up the sleeve of her leather jacket 
and glanced at her watch. "You're going to be late for your date, 
Kasigi-san."

	"It's not a date." At least, he hoped it wasn't. Nodoka 
seemed to like him. A lot. Considering who her grandfather 
was, he couldn't exactly turn her down flat, and he wasn't sure 
he wanted to, anyway. He liked her too. He just wasn't sure if 
he liked her like that.

	"Mmm-hm. Someone should warn that poor girl what she's 
getting."

	Genma quickly reached a decision, and smiled 
benevolently at her. "She knows me pretty well. That's why 
she's crazy about me." And then he jumped.

	Kiri brought the tire iron up, ready to bash in his skull 
the second he landed.

	Her eyes widened for a second as she realized the 
trajectory of his leap, and then Genma landed squarely on her 
head, jumped again, and took off down the street, laughing. 
Leaving a furiously swearing Kiritsubo flat on her face in the 
tiny alley, a shoeprint on her scalp.

	He felt a little bad about it, but not for very long. Kiri's 
headache would go away a lot quicker than the beating she had 
intended on giving him. She probably wouldn't stay really mad 
for long... as far as he knew, Kiri was always in a foul temper, 
but in an inoffensive way. 

	He ducked around a corner, sprinting to make up lost 
time. Maybe he'd bring her a pineapple or a cheese or 
something; his job at the grocery was handy for that sort of 
thing, and Kiri was even poorer than he was. No family, no 
guardian, just the rather disreputable mechanic's shop she ran 
by herself. A peace offering of some sort was in order, anyway. 
She was a friend, even if she did occasionally want to kill 
him...

	He jumped to one side for the fourth time that day as a 
trio of arrows whistled past. Damn.

	"GENMA, DIE!"

	A figure in a black gi leaped from a nearby rooftop, 
daikyu bow strapped to his back, and charged.

	"Not now, Soun," Genma groaned, snapping into a fighting 
stance. "I'm going to see the master."

	"You mean you're going to see Nodoka, peasant!" Snarling, 
Tendo Soun launched a series of vicious kicks at his rival. "How 
often do I have to tell you, Kasigi; she's mine!"

	Genma's fist took Soun in the stomach, sending the lanky 
boy stumbling back. "Get real, Tendo. You can't even bring 
yourself to say a coherent sentence in front of her."

	Soun snarled and sprang forward in a jumpkick, causing 
Genma to give ground as he parried with a flurry of straight 
punches. "I'm warning you, Kasigi, stay away from her!"

	The two circled each other warily, Genma inwardly 
cursing at the delay. Tendo was Saotome-sensei's other 
student, and seemed to live for only two things - winning 
Nodoka's hand and becoming the undisputed heir to the 
Saotome-Ryuu. These two goals were mutually incompatible 
with Genma's continued existence, placing the two in a state 
of more-or-less continual warfare. Genma suspected that 
Saotome-sensei didn't mind this one bit, although he wouldn't 
tolerate it in his presence. The conflict had made both of them 
better martial artists, and the old man could hardly object to 
having two young men chasing after his granddaughter.

	Unfortunately for Soun, the mere sight of Nodoka would 
send him into a spasm of blushing and stammering. Nodoka, as 
far as Genma could tell, seemed to think it was rather sweet. 
But not terribly attractive.

	His hope to inherit the school, which Genma also coveted, 
was far less futile. The two rivals were fairly equal in skill 
and talent. Except...

	"Hey Soun, I'm thinking of asking Nodoka if she'll marry 
me. Wanna be our best man?"

	The other boy howled in fury and charged him blindly, 
fists flying.

	A few seconds later, Soun slumped to the ground.

	Genma smiled unsteadily, staggered a bit, and lurched 
into a run. He was going to be late.

	Luckily for him, Soun still hadn't learned to keep his 
temper under control. Until he did, Genma could always beat 
him simply by insulting him until he was too angry to fight 
intelligently.

	He just hoped that he wasn't going to be late. Nodoka 
didn't like tardiness.

* * * *

	Soun lay flat on his back for a few minutes, dazedly 
watching the clouds float by, waiting for his nervous system 
to come back online. Pretty clouds.

	Before long, a gloved hand interposed itself between him 
and his view of the sky.

	"Hey, Tendo. You okay?"

	Soun awkwardly took the offered hand and pulled himself 
up. "Kiritsubo-san."

	"Kiri, please." The girl smiled at him. "Kasigi beat you 
up again?"

	He bristled. "It was a once in a lifetime slip. He duped me 
into leaving a slight opening by..."

	"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before, foul trickery." Kiri 
rolled her eyes. "What'd he do this time?"

	To her horror, Soun burst into tears. "He's stealing 
Nodoka-san away from me! The bastard is probably seducing 
her as we speak!" 

	"Get a grip! Jeez." Kiri frowned, and tossed the sniffling 
martial artist a grease-stained handkerchief. "Here, blow your 
nose and calm down."

	Soun deftly caught the oil-soaked rag between two 
fingertips with a look of mild horror, carefully keeping it away 
from his spotless clothing. "Er. Right. Uh, thank you."

	"Why don't you just ask the girl out? Give her flowers or 
candy or perfume or something. I dunno, mebbe women like that 
sort of thing, and you've got the money for it."

	"'Maybe'?"

	Kiri shrugged. "I dunno what girls like; don't ask me."

	Soun blinked. "But, uh, you're a...

	She stared at him with mild interest as he awkwardly 
trailed off. "Yes?"

	"Never mind." He sighed. "I'm never going to get her. I 
can't even speak two words in front of her, let alone ask her 
out."

	Frowning, Kiri absently toyed with the edge of her 
jacket. Then she smiled unpleasantly.

	"Genma's set his eye on Nodoka, huh?"

	"The low-bred ingrate."

	Kiri resisted the temptation to punt him into LEO. Soun 
was a nice guy, but his Lord of the Manor act was incredibly 
annoying. Especially if you had no parents, no savings, and had 
to work for a meager living at age seventeen. "Yeah, okay. Look, 
if I can get you a date with Nodoka, do you think you can 
manage to get her to agree to a second one?"

	Soun stared at her with worshiping eyes. "You could do 
that?"

	"Trust me." She had no idea how she was going to do it, 
but something would come to her. "All you have to do is show 
up and knock her socks off. Give her dinner, a movie, the whole 
nine yards. Put Sinatra on the phonograph."

	"Yes! Yes!" Soun babbled gleefully. "Thank you, Kiri-san!" 
Suddenly he paused, and eyed her suspiciously. "This is awfully 
nice of you..."

	She smiled like a shark. "Genma managed to violate me 
yet again this morning. Anything that upsets him is something 
I'll cheerfully put effort into."

	"Violated you?"

	"He shoved his damn banana up my tailpipe."

	Soun gaped at her. A trickle of blood slowly dripped from 
his nose.

	Kiri flushed bright red. "I mean he put a piece of fruit in 
my motorcycle's exhaust pipe, bakayarou."

	Looking relieved, Soun absently wiped his nose with the 
handkerchief. "Oh! Of course. I mean, I didn't think Kasigi 
would ever consider you as... I mean... you aren't exactly... er. 
I'm going to get beaten up if I keep talking, aren't I."

	She cheerfully nodded. "Go clean your face, Tendo. You've 
got engine grease all over it."

	Horrified, Soun glanced at the filthy rag in his now 
grease-stained hands. "Imagine that."

	Smirking, Kiri sauntered off. "Stop by my garage 
tomorrow morning, and I'll tell you when your date'll be."

	"Indeed. Nodoka..."

	The two walked away, each looking diabolically pleased 
with themselves.

	This was noted by the two people sitting on top of the 
nearby building.

	"That him, perhaps?"

	"No. Too shy, and too young."

	"The girl?"

	"Not unless he's fallen in Nyaniichuan."

	"I wouldn't put it past him."

	"Either way, he's around here somewhere. Let's follow the 
first one."

	With a rustle of cloth, the two figures bounded away 
across the rooftops.

* * * *

	The Saotome Dojo wasn't one of the oldest in the city, 
nor was it particularly large. Old Saotome-sensei taught a 
women's self-defence class, acted as a guest instructor at 
several other schools, and trained a frequently-changing group 
of students in the Saotome-Ryuu.

	The ownership of the dojo and head of the school would 
undoubtably go to either Soun or Genma upon the old man's 
death. His daughter had died some years ago in an accident of 
some sort, and Saotome Nodoka simply wasn't a true martial 
artist. Oh, she had potential. But the almost fanatical love of 
and devotion to the Art wasn't there; she would never be more 
than a simple black belt, and had no desire to do anything but 
maintain her current level of skill.

	Soun and Genma, on the other hand, were a joy to the old 
man. Each of then would eagerly do anything he asked, no 
matter how difficult or dangerous, if they thought it would 
make them a better martial artist.

	In fact, as Saotome-sensei had often reflected, the only 
thing better than having two students like that was having two 
students like that who absolutely hated each other and wanted 
to be the new sensei. The school would be in good, expert, 
well-trained hands when he was gone.

	He sat in his porch chair, and watched Genma jog up the 
steps. "Nodoka's in the garden, son."

	"Thank you, Master."

	"You're five minutes late."

	"I ran into Soun, Master."

	"I'll pray for you."

	"Thank you, Master." Genma swallowed, and sprinted 
around the house into the walled garden.

	Nodoka was sitting by the koi pond, a slight smile on her 
face. "Hello, Genma."

	He breathed an inner sigh of relief; she hadn't noticed 
that he was late. "Hi, Nodoka. How's things?"

	"Oh, fine." She frowned slightly. "Not entirely fine. 
Grandmother Saotome isn't feeling well."

	That was bad. "It's nothing serious, right?" Genma loved 
the old lady a lot; sometimes he almost forgot that she wasn't 
his real grandmother.

	Nodoka gave a slight shrug, looking faintly worried. "She 
says it's just a touch of flu. I don't know whether to believe 
her or not."

	"What does your grandfather think?"

	"He was worried at first, but doesn't seem very 
concerned now."

	Genma shook his head. "If Saotome-sensei isn't worried, 
she's fine." In his mind, this was one of the few flaws in his 
mentor's perfection in the Art: he loved his wife more than his 
school. A true martial artist couldn't afford distraction.

	Nodoka smiled. "I suppose you're right." Abruptly she 
moved over to lean against him, her left hand closing around 
his."You always manage to reassure me, Kasigi-san."

	"Er ah um ha." He inwardly whimpered. It was going to be 
one of those visits.

	"You know, there's a new movie opening. Why don't we go 
see it together?"

	Genma brightened. Movies were a rare luxury for him. 
"What's it called?"

	"'Burning Flame Of Passion'. My magazine gave it rave 
reviews."

	"Ah. Magazine..."

	"Cosmo."

	"Right...." The movie would be slow torture. It would have 
a dull plot, no action, and consist of romantic mouthings. 
Nodoka would attach herself to his arm, and try to get even 
closer. "You know, I think I'm busy that night..."

	The adorable smile quickly morphed into a scowl. "I 
haven't mentioned a day yet."

	Uh-oh. "Er, I mean, I mean..."

	"If you hate me and don't want to be seen in public with 
me, just say so." The scowl deepened.

	"Nodoka-san! You wound me! I'm just going to be 
undergoing some special training for the next few days. Unless 
the movie isn't this week, I'm going to be busy that night." 
There. That sounded plausible.

	"Special training?" Nodoka's stare bored into him. This 
was going to take effort.

	Making a big show of looking around, he leaned close to 
her. "Soun's practicing for something big. I gotta be in top form 
for whatever it is, or he might really give me a pounding."

	The stare softened to an exasperated look. "Why do you 
two feel the need to spend every waking hour trying to kill 
each other?"

	She was buying it! "It's a matter of honor. And each of us 
want to be Saotome-sensei's best pupil. His greatest student."

	Nodoka gave him a sad look. "Yes, grandfather's opinion 
means a lot to both of you, I know." She turned away. "You'd 
better go practice. I have homework to do, anyway."

	He felt slightly disappointed. This hadn't gone well at all. 
"Are you sure? I was thinking we could spar a bit, or mebbe go 
for a walk or something..."

	"I'm sure. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow." She strode out of 
the garden, back straight as a willow rod.

	Genma sighed, and slumped down on a large rock by the 
koi pond. Damnit, damnit...

	"That was a short visit."

	He looked up, smiling slightly. "Hello, Grandmother. 
Nodoka said you weren't feeling well...?"

	The old lady waved her walking stick at him. "Touch of 
flu, that's all." She smiled kindly at him. "Nodoka-chan upset at 
you again?"

	Shrugging, Genma stared at the pond. "I guess. She tried 
to drag me off to a romance movie, and got all upset when I 
said I was busy."

	Grandmother Saotome tsked. "Most young men would jump 
at the chance to go to the pictures with their girl."

	"Nodoka's not my... I mean... oh, I don't know." Frustrated, 
he gloomily tossed a pebble into the pond, watched the ripples 
spread. "I like her a lot, but she's been my friend ever since I 
started training under Saotome-sensei. I... I don't know if I'm 
comfortable having her be my girlfriend all of a sudden, 
especially when she keeps trying to push me into it like this. I 
just wanna relax and have fun with her, like we used to." 

	Sympathetically, the old woman patted him on the 
shoulder. "Nodoka-chan's decided she's in love with you, Genma. 
And she's a bit stubborn."

	"I'd noticed."

	"She's also a very sensitive, sweet girl." She smiled. "I 
know you can't suddenly become one of those suave men from 
her magazines, but would it hurt to let her have a date or 
two?"

	"Yes." He threw up his hands helplessly. "You know how 
Nodoka is, grandmother. If I give her an inch, she'll be sending 
out wedding invitations tomorrow."

	She chuckled, nodding her head. "I reckon you have a 
point, son. Just be kind to the girl. One of these days, you'll 
likely be the one chasing her."

	Genma shook his head. "The training takes all the time 
that I have. I can't be bothered to focus on anything..."

	The old woman cackled. "That's what that old goat 
Saotome thought, when I first met him. I convinced him 
otherwise."

	He smiled. "You certainly did." And, he swore silently, his 
student wouldn't be as easy to snare.

	Not that Saotome-sensei seemed to have minded being 
snared...

	"I should probably be going, Grandmother. If I hurry, I can 
pull an extra shift at the grocery."

	"You spend too much time working, boy."

	Genma shrugged. He needed the money. His mother needed 
the money. "Goodbye. I'll be back tomorrow to train."

	The old woman watched him leave, shook her head, and 
slowly limped back to the house. She worried about Nodoka. 
Young Genma was nice enough, but her granddaughter had some 
strange ideas about men. For Nodoka's sake, she hoped that the 
girl landed either him or Soun. Either of them would make a 
fine husband.

	Speaking of fine husbands, she would have to have hers 
talk to the girl. She knew exactly where some of Nodoka's 
stranger traits were coming from.

	From behind the garden wall, Kiritsubo smiled. She had 
her plan.

	"Genma, prepare to be short one girlfriend."

	Chuckling, she dashed around to the front of the house.

	Meanwhile, two figures squatted thoughtfully on a 
neighboring roof. 

	"Obviously not the girl."

	"Don't rule out Nyaniichuan. I thought she felt a bit 
suspicious."

	"Don't be stupid, she was practically drooling over that 
boy. Think HE would ever do that?"

	"I wouldn't put anything past him. But you have a point."

	"The old man, perhaps? He's the right age, he fits the 
general description, he looks like a master..."

	"Feels completely wrong. Look at him, sitting there in the 
sun. 'I will pray for you.' Couldn't be."

	"It could be a ruse..."

	"If the 'respectable, wise sensei' act down there is a 
ruse, it's an awfully good one."

	"There's one way to find out."

	"You don't mean...?"

	"Yes."

	"Your idea, you do it."

	Shortly afterward, Saotome-sensei was mildly surprised 
to find a smiling young woman in her underwear walking up his 
front porch. "Hello?"

	"Can you direct me to the nearest lingerie shop?" she 
asked him politely, Chinese accent pronounced. "I need to buy 
lots of bras."

	Saotome-sensei slowly blinked. "I'm afraid I wouldn't 
know where one is, Miss."

	The woman looked resigned. "Thank you." With that, 
looking rather embarrassed, she darted off. The old man shook 
his head, and went back to his meditation. Life was strange.

* * * *

	Nodoka leaned back in her bed and sighed.

	The sad fact of the matter was that she was madly, 
desperately, totally in love with Kasigi Genma. And she wasn't 
sure at all how he felt about her.

	He obviously knew how she felt. She had done everything 
short of stripping in front of him. She was saving that for a 
last resort.

	Maybe he was just shy. Lord knew Soun was, and the two 
of them had a lot in common.

	It couldn't be another woman. Genma's social life wasn't 
exactly glittering, and he had to work half the time in that 
store to keep him and his damn mother fed.

	She was terrified that he just plain might not love her at 
all, and had no idea what to do about it.

	A rapping at her window startled her out of her reverie; 
frowning slightly, she went over to open it.

	"Hi, Kiri. What are you doing hanging from that 
drainpipe?"

	The other girl frantically adjusted her grip. "Trying not 
to fall to my death. Can I come in?"

	Nodoka shrugged. "Drop in anytime."

	Kiri swung herself in the window, sighing with relief as 
her feet hit the floor. "Whew. Hi, Nodoka."

	Smiling slightly, Nodoka idly moved over to where the 
family katana sat on her dresser. She trusted Biki Kiritsubo 
about as far as she could throw her; partly because she was 
Genma's friend, and partly because the other girl seemed to be 
just one step up from a criminal. "What do I owe the pleasure 
of your visit too?"

	Offering her a winning smile, Kiri slumped casually into 
a chair. "We have a mutual friend who asked me to give you a 
message."

	Nodoka's heart skipped a beat. "Oh?"

	"He wants to know if you'd do him the honor of allowing 
him to escort you to the evening showing of 'Burning Flame Of 
Passion' tomorrow night. He seems... quite eager to make a good 
impression. One would almost think desperate."

	Giddy bliss flooded through her, and she had to fight to 
keep her composure. "Gen..."

	Kiri waggled a finger at her. "Our mutual friend. I want 
nothing to do with all this, I'm just delivering a message."

	"Thank you, Kiri." Nodoka beamed, flooding the room with 
good feelings. He was finally going on a date with her, and HE 
HAD ASKED HER! "I'm in your debt.

	The other girl winced slightly. "Believe me, you owe me 
nothing. Be at the Akai no Kasa kissaten at seven sharp, 
tomorrow night."

	Nodoka pursed her lip. "That doesn't leave much time for 
us to buy the tickets..."

	"He's going to buy them before he arrives. You know, to 
insure that he's the only one paying for them? Some macho 
thing. Supposedly impressive. Stupid, if you ask me."

	"Yeah," Nodoka said dreamily. "Stupid."

	Kiri winced again. "Well, I've done my... good... deed for 
the day. Seeya round, Nodoka." Waving, she practically dashed 
out of the room, making a mental note to stay well away from 
the other girl until Soun had won her over.

	Nodoka savored a big goofy grin for a few moments, and 
then determinedly began to rummage through her closet. She 
was going to need something striking, yet not too forward...

* * * *

	Genma arrived home around ten.

	"Hi, Mom."

	His mother didn't look up from her needlework. "Bow to 
the Emperor, Genma."

	Forcing down a sigh, he turned and bowed to the gigantic 
portrait of the Japanese monarch that dominated one wall.

	"Bow to your father."

	His father's shrine was on the opposite wall. He bowed to 
it with only slightly more feeling.

	"Are our forces making any progress?"

	There haven't been any forces since 1945. "A bit, Mom."

	"Good. And what should you ask the kami for before bed?"

	That insanity isn't hereditary in this instance. "Our swift 
victory over the gaijin, Mom."

	"Are what are you going to be when you grow up?"

	The master of the Saotome-Ryuu. "Military governor of 
Australia, Mom."

	"Come give your mother a hug."

	Somewhat awkwardly, he did. She continued to knit.

	"Good night, Genma."

	"Night, Mom."

* * * *

	Joe's Garage had formerly been Mitsubishi Engine Shop 
#42. Due to some of the initial redistribution efforts early in 
the occupation, it now officially belonged to a elderly Ainu 
gentleman somewhere in Hokkaido. It was even possible that he 
was aware of owning it.

	Since it had been slightly bombed, was located in a 
rather unsavory part of Nerima, and had a rather squat, ugly 
appearance, no corporation or concern ever decided to develop 
it.

	It had remained an abandoned building until four years 
ago, when it had almost overnight been repainted, fixed up, and 
opened for business as a car and cycle repair shop. It had done 
middling to brisk business ever since.

	Joe was an American; some said a former Marine Raider. 
Rumor had it that he had fled to Japan after killing seven 
policemen in New York; he was allegedly eight feet tall, had no 
neck, hated Japanese, and strangled puppies for amusement. 
Kiri, his assistant, refused to either confirm or deny any of 
this; however, it was widely remarked upon that she seemed 
slightly nervous whenever she mentioned his name. And anyone 
who unnerved Kiritsubo, people concluded, was one mean guy.

	Aside from the New York Times and occasional packet of 
cheap cigars that the postman delivered to the garage, no-one 
ever saw Joe. This was much to their liking, and his customers 
couldn't complain about the job he did on their machines. Half 
of his customers weren't the complaining kind anyway; they 
just wanted the car repainted and the plates swapped before 
the cops began their investigation. 

	In reality, of course, Joe didn't exist. Kiri had wisely 
concluded that no self-respecting motorcycle punk was going 
to trust their Hawg to a girl, and had begun inventing her 
mythical boss the day she left the orphanage. The Times went 
to the outhouse, and she was beginning to acquire a taste for 
the cheap cigars. 

	Maybe some day she would get a garage that she actually 
owned and that catered to people without a police record, but 
for now she was content. Gang members had neater bikes, 
anyway.

	She was tuning her private, special machine, the one 
Genma had sabotaged, when the sound of fighting broke out in 
the front office.

	Kiri swore, tightened the last screw, and hefted a length 
of piping. That would be Soun.

	A biker flew headfirst out a paper window as she strode 
in. Two others lay dazed in a corner, switchblades dangling 
from nerveless hands. Soun looked slightly bored.

	"Tendo."

	"Good morning, Ki-"

	"Tendo. I said come to my garage and I'd give you the time 
for your date. I did not say come to my garage and beat up my 
customers."

	He shrugged. "These riffraff tried to mock me. I think."

	"You think."

	"It is hard to understand their mode of speech."

	Kiri covered her face with her hands. "You're paying for 
that window."

	A bill was quickly deposited on the office desk, and even 
more quickly transferred to Kiri's pocket. "And you dented that 
chair."

	Another bill.

	"And cracked the light fixture up there."

	Another bill.

	Kiri frantically glanced around the room, trying to find 
something else she could concieveably charge him for.

	"My date?"

	Oh well. "Go to the Akai no Kasa at five minutes before 
seven. Before you do, buy two tickets to that night's showing 
of 'Burning Flame Of Passion'. And, hmm, reserve a table at 
some restaurant. And bring flowers. Or candy. And hire a 
carriage for afterwards. And have Igashi's Chop House send 
three of their Specials to the address on this piece of paper."

	Soun frantically wrote the instructions down on a pad of 
paper. "And Nodoka will be waiting for me at the kissaten?"

	"Well, Nodoka will be waiting at the kissaten, yup. Tell 
her that your mutual friend arranged this."

	Soun brushed a tear from his eye. "How can I ever thank 
you, Kiritsubo-san?"

	"Oh, I'll think of a way." That is, in addition to the extra 
money from the 'damages', the Chop House dinner that would be 
delivered to her door, and the satisfaction of seeing Genma 
fuming over having lost his girl... "Just make sure you give 
Nodoka a memorable evening. Remember, getting a second date 
is going to be up to you."

	Straightening, Soun struck a pose. "I will treat her like a 
goddess on earth."

	"Lucky her." Which was true, in a way. No-one ever fought 
over her like that.

	"I'm forever in your debt, Kiri. Thank you." Soun 
practically skipped out of the garage, trodding on the fallen 
bikers as he went.

	"I certainly hope so," she muttered. Even if the date 
somehow fell through, at least she was getting money and a 
big dinner out of it.

	She kicked the bikers. "Don't bleed on my floor."

	One of them groaned. "Who... what..."

	"Just a ninja assassin sent to kill Joe. Nothing to worry 
about."

	"Augh... gonna kill the... bastard..."

	"Too late. Joe already took care of him."

	This seemed to suit the biker fine. Rousing his comrade, 
the two stumbled out, off to spread the story of the ninja-
killing American mechanic. 

	Kiri smiled slightly, and disappeared back into the 
workshop. That sort of thing was good for business.

* * * *

	It was mid-morning when Genma got off work and 
trudged towards Joe's Garage, a large watermelon under one 
arm. Hopefully, the bribe would keep him from getting the spit 
beaten out of him.

	About halfway there, he swore in frustration. Because 
Soun was just turning the corner, and heading straight for him. 
And Genma's arms were occupied with a very bulky 
watermelon. 

	"Hello, Kasigi. Lovely day, isn't it?"

	Genma blinked. "Er... yeah, Soun. Nice day." Something was 
wrong. Soun should be ranting and attacking him by now.

	Instead, Soun beamed happily at him. "I see you've bought 
lunch."

	"'s for Kiri, actually..."

	"Very thoughtful of you, Genma! Yes. Thoughtful." Genma 
stared in puzzled fascination as the lanky boy smiled vaguely 
at him, whistled a happy tune, and skipped past. "Well. Good 
day, friend Kasigi."

	Alarms began going off in Kasigi Genma's head. Soun had 
been in a state of perpetual emotional extremes ever since 
Genma had known him, usually tending towards depression over 
his lack of progress in winning the dojo and Nodoka. 

	Since Genma would be elected Prime Minister before 
Soun ever got anywhere with Nodoka, he must have stumbled 
upon some new training technique.

	He swore. This was bad. Granted, Soun's last secret 
technique hadn't been very impressive - whoever had developed 
the Hamster-ken must not have been quite right in the head - 
but there was always the chance of him stumbling onto 
something pretty devastating.  For all Soun's dithering, he was 
a very, very good martial artist.

	His walk turned into a trot, and then a jog. By the time he 
reached the garage, he was running.

	Not bothering to knock, he burst through the office doors 
and into the workshop. "Hey, Kiri!"

	The young mechanic looked up from under her bike. "Ah, 
Kasigi-san. Hold still while I find something blunt and heavy..."

	"Nono! Wait! I brought you something!" Maybe he should 
have waited a few days. The last thing he needed was Kiri 
chasing him across half of Nerima while Soun perfected a new 
ultimate technique.

	Kiri brushed a bit of oil off her face and glanced at his 
burden. "Oooo, a watermelon! You're forgiven. For now. Put it in 
the ice chest."

	Grateful to be off the hook, he complied. "How's 
business?"

	"Not bad. I'm going to make another run to Ant Town to 
scrounge for parts in a few days."

	"I thought this _was_ Ant Town." That was the village-
sized junkyard that served as the dumping ground for Tokyo's 
industries. Its inhabitants made a living - sometimes a 
surprisingly lucrative one - by harvesting the scrap.

	Kiri shrugged. "It's close. Not Ant Town proper. Don't 
worry, you're still in the respectable part of town." She 
grinned. "Not as fine as the Tendo estate, but still on the right 
side of the tracks."

	He flinched slightly at the name. "Huh. Soun seemed awful 
cheerful this morning."

	Smiling weakly, Kiri waved dismissingly. "Oh, heheh, 
probably nothing... you know Soun, emotional guy..."

	"No, I'm sure it's something big. Has to be a new 
technique. The only other thing that would get him so happy is 
getting to first base with Nodoka."

	They both laughed at the idea, Kiri without much 
enthusiasm.

	"Anyway, just to be on the safe side, I'm gonna go... 
observe... him for a bit. See if I can figure out what he's up to. 
Seeya later, Kiri."

	"Bye, Genma."

	After he had left, she quickly dashed into her rooms to 
clean herself up and change into street clothes. If Kasigi 
spotted Soun and Nodoka together, he'd probably do something 
stupid. And that just wouldn't do.

	"Nodoka is going to have a nice romantic date with Soun 
and without Genma if I have to kill all three of them to manage 
it," she muttered, slipping out of her stained overalls. Still, 
the day was turning out well so far. Cash, a chop house dinner, 
and a nice big watermelon.

	On the roof, two people watched Genma rush off.

	"He said something about a new technique."

	"Do you think it's HIM teaching the other?"

	"It is possible."

	"HE is fond of teaching young martial artists just enough 
to cause havoc."

	"It is worth checking out."

	"It is certainly better that sitting on this shoddy little 
garage all night," the other concluded.

	"HE is around here somewhere. It's only a matter of time."

	Laughing softly, the two bounded off.

* * * *

	Nodoka sat down at an exposed booth, a carefully crafted 
come-hither smile on her face. Genma would probably be late, 
but she'd forgive him. And maybe for once he wouldn't be. After 
all, he still had six minutes until he was due to...

	"H-hello, Nodoka."

	She looked up. Tendo Soun. Silly grin on his face. Sitting 
down across from her. Big bouquet of flowers in one hand. Box 
of candy and movie tickets in the other.

	"Um?" she asked, a sinking feeling appearing in the pit of 
her stomach.

	"These are for you. I, ah, er, I hope you, ah...."

	He proceeded to destroy the flowers and half crush the 
box of candy in the process of handing them to her. Then he 
tripped. Then he knocked over the table vase.

	Then he smiled sheepishly at her.

	"Our mutual friend sent you, didn't she." A perceptive man 
would have recognized the razor blades underneath the sweet 
tone. Soun was not, however, a perceptive man.

	"Isn't she nice?"

	"Oh. Oh yes. Nice."

	Nodoka gave him a plastic smile. It wasn't Soun's fault, 
she mused, and she had accepted the date fair and square. Might 
as well go along with it.

	Besides, she thought optimistically, it might make 
Genma jealous. He competed with Soun in everything else... 
blah. She wasn't some prize to be won, but every little trick 
helped.

	And it was supposed to be a good movie, anyway.

	She smiled at him again, this time putting a little more 
warmth into it. "Well. Shall we go see the movie?"

	"Movie? Oh! Oh yes! Movie." Soun blushed furiously, 
twiddled his thumbs, and fell out of his chair.

	Nodoka sighed. It was going to be a long date.

* * * *

	From his position behind the mailbox, Genma watched in 
horrified disbelief as Soun and Nodoka walked out of the 
kissaten together.

	Nodoka, his mind numbly noticed, was carrying a large 
clump of flowers. And a box of candy. Soun was blushing so 
furiously, it was a wonder the air around him wasn't rippling 
from heat.

	And it looked like they were heading for the theatre on 
Ogawa.

	"Oh, she's crazy about you, Genma," he muttered. "She's 
absolutely set on you. She's your girlfriend. She'd never even 
DREAM of going out with Tendo just because he's good-looking, 
and fairly wealthy, and worships the ground she walks on, and 
has that nervous goofy air that some women find cute for some 
reason..."

	He paused to slam his head against the mailbox a few 
times.

	"Fine. Go out with Soun. See if I care."

	He sulked for a second.

	"They'll probably have a wonderful time. Just great. 
Soun'll sweep her off her feet."

	An idea occurred to him.

	"Unless, of course, their little date is a total disaster... 
but, of course, that would never happen... unless someone 
actively sabotaged it... and you'd have to be a real cad to do 
that..."

	He thought it over for a minute. Cadness was looking 
pretty good at the moment.

	Jumping to his feet, he dashed for the movie theatre. 
He'd give them a date that would live in infamy.

	Half a block away, Kiri smiled, revved her cycle's engine, 
and burned rubber down a sidestreet. Just let Genma try and 
stop them from having a good time!

	On the rooftops, two figures looked at each other, 
shrugged, and followed Genma. He seemed to be their best lead 
so far.

* * * *

	Nodoka clenched her teeth in pain as Soun managed to 
step on her foot for the third time. Thank God they were almost 
to the theatre...

	For his part, Soun couldn't help but dance with glee as he 
strolled along, Nodoka next to him. He was on a date with his 
dream girl. They were going to see a nice, romantic movie. 
Kasigi was probably in his grungy little lowerclass home 
watching TV. Life was good.

	Arriving at Bijou Nerima, Soun stepped forward to 
present the tickets to the man at the counter. "Two for 
'Burning Flame Of Passion', my good man."

	The man straightened his conical farmer's hat, adjusted 
his huge, artifical-looking beard, and shook his head. "Sorry, 
those tickets are no good. You'll have to go away."

	Soun blinked. "What?"

	"They're no good," the man replied in a curiously raspy, 
hoarse voice.

	"But it says right here..."

	The man snatched the tickets, glanced at them, and 
promptly tore them to confetti. "No good. Bad tickets."

	Nodoka rolled her eyes. Soun hadn't even managed to buy 
the right tickets. So much for getting a movie out of it...

	"I shall purchase new ones," Soun declared.

	"Sold out."

	"I shall purchase two for one of your other fine films, 
then."

	"All sold out."

	"How unfortunate. Can you please direct me to the 
nearest theatre from here?"

	The man adjusted his beard again. "Every theatre in 
Nerima is sold out."

	Soun blinked. "Every theatre?"

	"Every theatre. Today is, ah, National Theatre Day. Yes. 
Very busy."

	Glancing around, Soun took out his wallet. "I don't 
suppose you could make room for, say..."

	He was interrupted by the woman in the usher's uniform 
and thick, artificial-looking beard who stepped out of a side 
office and proceeded to beat the ticket-taker over the head 
with a length of lead pipe.

	"Soun?"

	"Yes, Nodoka?"

	"Why is that usher attacking the ticket seller?"

	"I think it might be part of this National Theatre Day."

	After dragging the seller into the side office, the usher 
returned. "Can I help you folks?"

	"Yes. Two for 'Burning Flame Of Passion'."

	"Oooh, very romantic movie. Great choice for a young 
couple like you. 3000 yen."

	"Here you are."

	"Thanks. Enjoy the flick."

	"Ma'am?"

	"Yeah?" 

	"Ah... very thick beard you have there."

	"It was my dear departed father's."

	"Ah. Right." Taking Nodoka by the arm, Soun quickly 
hurried into the theatre.

	Kiri smiled, ripped off the false beard, and tucked the 
bills in her wallet. As an afterthought, she spent an amusing 
couple of minutes picking the lock to the ticket counter's 
change box.

* * * *

	Genma moaned, rubbed his head, and stood up. Theatre 
security must have caught on quicker than he had thought. 

	Taking off the hat and beard, he rapidly changed into a 
black bodysuit and mask. Just because they were in the theatre 
didn't mean they were home free!

	Nodoka may think Soun's a gentleman, he thought grimly, 
all respectful and proper. But when she feels a hand groping 
her leg, though... scream, slap, and that'll be the end of that! 
She won't bother to listen to him denying doing it... after all, 
he'll be the only person close enough to have squeezed her leg...

	Genma chuckled evilly. Time to show the loving couple 
the Kasigi Stealth Invisibility Attack!

* * * *

	Frowning, Kiri watched Genma slip silently into the 
darkened theatre.

	"He just doesn't know when to quit," she muttered, 
jamming a blond wig on her head and following. "Moron."

* * * *

	"More popcorn, Nodoka?"

	*splash*

	"Oh... oh gosh, sorry..."

	Nodoka forced a smile, and wrung out her cola-drenched 
sweater. "That's okay, Soun."

	"My arm must have slipped... I'll go get you another 
drink..."

	"No!" she barked, shoving him back into his seat with her 
free arm. "Just sit and watch the movie with me. I wasn't 
thirsty anyway." And she certainly wasn't about to allow Soun 
near her with any more kinds of liquid. How on earth could a 
expert martial artist be so incredibly clumsy?

	Soun beamed, and dreamily stared at the screen. She 
wanted him to stay and watch the movie with her. With her. His 
dreams were coming true.

	Nodoka sighed. Her new sweater was going to be 
completely ruined by the soft drink. This was a nightmare.

	She froze. Had Soun just dropped a popcorn container on 
her leg?

	No... no, that was a HAND.... and she and Soun were sitting 
alone in the front row... He was putting his HAND on her LEG...!

	Gee. Maybe Soun wasn't such a spineless wimp after all.

	A whistle blew, and suddenly a blond woman in an usher's 
uniform dived into her lap. "Pervert! Ninja pervert! Grab him!"

	Nodoka yelped. Soun snarled. The usher seemed to grapple 
with empty air for a moment, which soon resolved itself into a 
black-clad figure.

	She stared. So it hadn't been Soun after all.

	"He's been violating women all over Nerima!" the blond 
screamed in a falsetto voice. "He ravaged me last week! Oh, if 
only a brave martial artist would stop..." She paused to put a 
headlock on the struggling ninja. "Would stop the fiend before 
he overpowers me, a poor defenseless maiden!"

	"Hentai scoundrel! I'll teach you to stalk my Nodoka!" 
roared Soun, leaping for the figure.

	"Careful, Soun! Help! Police!" Nodoka screamed, outraged 
that the disgusting stalker had actually touched her. Soun was 
one thing, but a pervert ninja was quite another. "Pervert in 
the theatre! Police!"

	"EEEK! Save me!" wailed the blonde, whacking the ninja 
over the head with a tire iron.

	"Ow..." whined the figure in black, dodging Soun's axe 
kick. The blonde swung again, accidentally felling an elderly 
gentleman in the second row.

	"Hey! They hit Matsui-sensei!"

	"Isn't that Tendo, from the Saotome Dojo?"

	"We'll teach him to strike the master of the Matsui-Ryuu 
in front of his students!"

	"Kill him!"

	"Help! Police!"

	"So, the Matsui Dojo comes to the aid of the ninja 
pervert?"

	"How dare you call our master a ninja pervert!"

	"Soun, let's just go..."

	"Are you calling Tendo Soun a liar?"

	"Hey, hit the pervert, someone!"

	"Get off me, you blonde idiot!"

	"TENDO, DIE! MATSUUUUUUUI!"

	Outside, two young women in Chinese battle dress 
watched as screaming patrons fled the theatre.

	"They seem upset."

	"That they do."

	"Could the movie be that bad?"

	They watched a young woman run from the lobby, 
screaming about ninja perverts.

	"Ninja perverts."

	"It must be HIM."

	"It could be no-one else."

	Grinning ear-to-ear, the two pulled out very, very large 
swords, screamed a battle cry, and charged into the theatre.

* * * *

	Genma punched two of the Matsui, jumped over a third, 
and ducked out a emergency fire exit. Pulling off the mask, the 
slumped back against the wall.

	Soun he could have dealt with, the gorilla of a blond was 
annoying but inconsequential, and the Matsui Dojo was a bunch 
of no-talents anyway. But the Chinese women with the swords 
had unnerved him a bit.

	Still, the date had been an unmitigated disaster. 

	He smiled. After he caught his breath, he figured, he 
should probably go in and help Soun beat up the rest of the 
Matsui...

	"GEN... MA...."

	Oh. There was Soun now. And Nodoka.

	Let's see, he was still wearing the black bodysuit and 
holding the mask. Try to deny everything? Too much of a 
bother. Run like hell? Good idea.

	He did.

	"KASIGI! HOW DARE YOU MOLEST NODOKA!"

	"Genma! You really care! Come back! You can feel my leg 
again!"

	The three fled into the night.

	Kiri detached herself from a shadow, smiled, and strolled 
towards the lobby. That had been fun. And profitable. Not a bad 
evening. Too bad Soun's date seemed to have been wrecked, but 
that's the way things go...

	"Hey! That's the girl who hit Matsui-sensei!"

	"Get her!"

	Uh-oh.

* * * *

	Genma pushed open the door to Joe's, and winced. His arm 
still felt like hell; Soun had gotten in a fairly good hit. "Hey, 
Kiri! You in?"

	"In the workshop."

	He shuffled into the garage area. "Mind if I stay here and 
give you a hand with things, today? Soun and..." He trailed off. 
"Kiri, what happened?"

	Kiritsubo winced, and gingerly ran a finger along the 
black, puffy bruise around her right eye. "Ran into something. 
Gotta be careful around a garage, lots of protruding pipes and 
stuff."

	He winced in sympathy. "That looks like it hurts."

	"You should see the other guy."

	"Eh?"

	"I said, yeah, I really hurt my eye."

	"Oh."

	She smiled slightly. "So, what brings you by?"

	He scratched his head sheepishly. "Soun's still looking for 
me. Keeps ranting about me molesting Nodoka or something."

	"Really."

	"Yeah. And Nodoka, uh, Nodoka's insisting on another 
date."

	Kiri stared at him. "Another what?"

	"She says now that I'm comfortable being affectionate 
with her, we need to have more intimate moments together." 
Genma sighed. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this. If it just 
weren't for that damn blond..."

	She shrugged philosophically. "Win some, lose some."

	Genma nodded. "Well, since you're letting me hide out 
here, is there anything I can do to help out?"

	Kiri smiled, feeling a slight twinge of guilt. "Yeah. 
There's a gallon of special test petrol in the supply room; if 
you could get it for me..."

	"Sure thing."

	Whistling, Genma strolled into the tiny parts room. He 
quickly spotted the petrol can, hefted it... and brought it over 
to the grubby little sink built into the wall.

	After emptying about two-thirds of the can, he replaced 
the missing liquid with water. Then he mixed in a bit of 
gunpowder. Then some Tabasco Sauce. Then some glue.

	"Shouldn't have forgot your tire iron at the theatre, Kiri," 
he muttered, eyes glittering nastily. This was going to be 
interesting.

--------------------

		I led a fairly busy life.

		Kiri eventually forgave me for the semi-explosion, 
	although it took her a full week to calm down. Soun tried 
	to kill me on sight for days, but that was fairly normal for 
	him. Your mother was... rather alarmingly affectionate. 
	I'm sure you know how that goes, with your fiancee 
	troubles.

		The two Chinese ladies worried me a bit, but I soon 
	forgot them. After all, they had nothing to do with me, 
	right? I would undoubtably never seen them again.

		Yes, I was rather foolish in those days.