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Pastpresent
by Susan Doenime
R1/2 characters and backstory are the creations and property of Takahashi
Rumiko. Used without permission. No challenge to copyrights should be
inferred or taken.
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Pastpresent homepage at: http://www.thekeep.org/~mike/pastpresent.html
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Pastpresent - Fog of Confusion, Part 2

		I really hadn't given much thought as to how we 
	were going to get rid of the rather attractive-looking 
	mist kami that I had foisted off on Kiri. Maybe I just 
	assumed that she would get bored and leave, or that
	Kiri's own charming personality would cause her to flee 
	after a day or so.
		And I certainly didn't take the consort offer 
	seriously. I mean, after spending two hundred years 
	cooped up in a bottle, just about any guy's going to look 
	pretty good, right?
		So as far as I was concerned, the whole business 
	was over. Misuto was Kiri's problem. If anyone could 
	terrorize a primal spirit of nature, it was her.
		Heh. Remember what a relief it was when Shampoo 
	went back to China the first time? Thought your 
	problems with her were over and behind you, didn't you, 
	boy? It's never that easy...
--------------------------------------------

	Summer was a beautiful time to walk along the riverside. 
The birds were singing, the flowers were blossoming, the sun 
was shining, and the raw sewage in the river was a 
particularly lovely shade of yellow.

	It was all very romantic.

	"Oh, Genma, isn't it romantic?"

	Kasigi Genma blinked at his walking companion. "Huh?"

	Nodoka make a vague sweeping gesture, taking in the 
river, the riverbank, and a garbage truck. "The water. The 
sunset. Us."

	He swallowed. "Oh, uh, yeah. Romantic."

	Smiling, she leaned against him, prompting him to take a 
few steps in the opposite direction. She pouted slightly.

	"Genma, you're getting all wimpy on me."

	Incredulous, he blinked at her. "Me? Wimpy? Compared to 
who?"

	"Well, you used to make a girl feel wanted."

	He scratched his head. "You mean the times I tried to 
peek in your window to see you undressing?" That had been 
when he was fourteen.

	Nodoka batted her eyes at him. "Or that time in the movie 
theatre, when you put your hand..."

	Genma flushed. "That was a mis..." He stopped, quickly 
calculating what Nodoka's reaction would be. "Mistake of 
Soun's, yeah, haha."

	"Haha," Nodoka politely agreed. "But you've been acting so 
shy and... and... unmanly... ever since. I have to practically put a 
gun to your head to even get you to hold my hand. Is something 
wrong?"

	Genma swallowed. His little stunt in the movie theatre 
had made his relationship with Nodoka a sort of living hell; she 
now expected him to be more... affectionate... than he had been.

	Of course, telling her the truth - that his grope had been 
a ploy intended to get her to slap Soun silly and wreck their 
date - probably wouldn't go over well. At all. Nodoka could be 
just a little intense at times, which was one reason he had 
carefully kept things from going too far between them. Get too 
close too fast, and Nodoka would have him in a suit in front of 
an altar before he knew what had happened.

	It wasn't that he didn't want to marry Nodoka. It was just 
that he didn't want to marry anyone in the forseeable future. 
And, to be honest, Nodoka's advances scared him a bit.

	"Well, ah..." he began, painfully aware that 'well, ah' was 
not the best way to begin an explanation. You could only do 
worse if you followed it with something like 'you see'.

	"Well, ah, you see..." Great. Just great. Nodoka was staring 
at him with a look somewhere in between annoyance and 
resignation.

	"...I was sort of overwhelmed by the moment. Don't know 
what came over me. And I wanted to do it right next time, as 
opposed to that fiasco at the theatre."

	Gee, he thought, that actually sounded somewhat 
credible.

	"Well," Nodoka said coyly, "this is pretty romantic right 
here, you know. You could pick worse times to make a play."

	No I couldn't, Genma thought with rising panic. "Aheh, 
well, we're sort of in a public place..."

	"So? I'm sure the pigeons have seen people kissing 
before. Or cuddling. Or..."

	"They look like very proper and sedate old pigeons," he 
babbled. "Easily shocked. We'd probably give them a heart 
attack or something, and..."

	"Idiot," Nodoka muttered, and grabbed him.

	Genma closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable punch.

	Instead, he found himself engaged in a fairly enthusiastic 
kiss.

	Gee, his hormones told him. This isn't half bad.

	That's right, his brain gibbered back, it's all bad. Do 
something!

	We are, the hormones said smugly. We're enjoying it, and 
we've got the rest of the nervous system on our side.

	Hold up, the brain shouted, where the hell is she putting 
her hands!?

	Oh wow, the hormones moaned.

	We're going to wind up married, you idiot! the brain 
screamed back.

	If that means we get this kind of feedback all the time, 
fine by us, replied the hormones.

	"KASIGI..."

	Thank God, Genma frantically thought, Soun's come to kill 
me. Silently, he blessed his luck and broke the embrace.

	The lanky, black-clad martial artist attacked a second 
later, sending a hail of punches raining towards Genma's body. 
Genma leapt backwards, replying with a spinning kick as he did 
so. Nodoka, an irritated look on her face, glared at them both. 
She had long since given up trying to break up the sporadic 
fights between the two.

	"Kasigi, how dare you... how dare..!"

	"I'm sorry, Soun," Genma deadpanned. "Next time I'll get 
your permission first."

	Soun snarled, and charged. Genma ran.

	Not that he was afraid of his fellow student, but running 
would put some distance between himself and Nodoka. Which, 
after that kiss, sounded like a pretty good idea. Even if his 
traitorous hormones didn't agree.

	"COWARD!" Soun howled, racing after him. "Stand your 
ground!"

	"Sure, sure, just give me a sec, okay?" He scrambled over 
a fence, ducked through someone's back garden, and out a rear 
gate into an alley. Pulling to a halt, he leaned against a 
streetlight to catch his breath as a furious Soun raced up.

	"Thanks, Tendo. You saved my life back there."

	"You're welcome. Now DIE!"

	"C'mon, Tendo. Let's get this over with. By the way, if I 
had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach it 
to walk backwards...."

	Soun, Genma reflected five minutes later, really needed 
to do something about that temper of his. It was far too easy 
to get him to forget that he was an expert martial artist when 
he was in a blind rage.

	Whistling, he walked towards home, leaving Soun to 
continue his unconscious examination of the gutter.

* * * *

	Biki Kiritsubo, mechanic, cycle fan, and not-quite-
criminal, was upset at the kami.

	Not in the way in which that phrase is normally used. She 
wasn't upset with fate, or nature, or her recent luck. No, she 
was upset with the oblivious mist kami in front of her.

	"What the hell is this?" she calmly asked, mentally 
counting to ten.

	Misuto beamed. "It is oil, Kiritsubo-san. Just like you 
asked for."

	"Oil is blackish and has a distinctive odor. This is 
translucent and smells like fish. This is not oil."

	The beam shone even brighter. "It is fish oil, Kiritsubo-
san."

	Kiri sighed, and mentally whimpered. Genma was going to 
pay for saddling her with the kami.

	It wasn't that Misuto wasn't eager to please. She had 
done almost every unpleasant chore Kiri had set for her 
without a word of complaint. It was just that asking her to do 
something by herself was risky at best and utter disaster at 
worse.

	"Fish oil isn't exactly useful for motorcycles, Misuto," 
she explained. "It's really not useful for much at all, unless you 
like it in your diet. Which I don't. Now fish, on the other hand... 
you just be thankful I'm a good fisherman. We're gonna eat well 
tonight."

	"Oh. All right." Misuto looked somewhat lost. "What 
should I do with this oil that is not the correct oil?"

	"Just put it somewhere cold. Mebbe I can sell it later." A 
pleasant thought occurred to her. "Hey, if you can conjure up 
fish oil, can you mebbe manage other stuff? Valuable stuff?"

	The kami sadly shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't conjure 
up fish oil, Kiritsubo-san."

	"Damn. So where'd the oil come from?"

	Misuto beamed. "From the fish!"

	A sinking feeling slowly rose up in Kiritsubo's stomach. 
"Wait. It came from the fish I caught?"

	"That's right!"

	"So, like, you have some mystic kami way of getting oil 
out that leaves the fish undamaged, right?"

	"Undamaged?"

	"Misuto, tell me, please tell me that there is something 
left of my lovely, fat, edible fish aside from that bucket of 
oil?"

	The kami smiled uncertainly. "Well, of course there is."

	"Good."

	"There is seven cubic inches of powder."

	Kiri buried her head in her hands. "I don't know any damn 
recipes for fish powder, mist chick."

	"Perhaps if we mixed it with the oil..."

	"I thought kami were supposed to have good taste?"

	"Well..."

	"Then again," Kiri snarled, "I also thought kami were 
supposed to have more brainpower than the average garden 
snail! How the hell am I supposed to eat tonight, eh?"

	"Perhaps you could ask the local peasants for an 
offering?" Misuto said meekly.

	"Look, lady, we _are_ the local peasants," Kiri muttered. 
"You've got to get over this pampered expectation that people 
are just gonna do things for you. In the real world, money and 
food doesn't just stroll in off the street for you to enjoy."

	"Kiritsubo-san?" called a somewhat haggard voice from 
the front office. "It's Tendo Soun. May we speak?"

	Kiri smiled slightly. "Then again, sometimes they do. I'll 
be back with dinner in a bit."

	"He has come to offer us tribute?"

	"He may not know it yet, but yeah, he sure has."

	Strolling into the front office, she immediately noticed 
Soun's battered condition. Soun being who he was, this could 
mean only one thing. "Hi, Tendo. Genma beat the crap out of you 
again?"

	"Through..."

	"Trickery, deceit, underhandedness, dishonesty, cheating 
on his income taxes, yeah, I know the routine. So, what can I do 
for you?"

	Soun scowled. "Well, I had hoped that you could help me 
get Kasigi away from Nodoka-san. He was pawing at her today 
before I scared him into flight."

	Kiri mentally tallied up the amount of exaggeration and 
bombast Soun customarily put into his sentences, subtracted 
it, and examined the result. "Huh. So they were holding hands, 
in other words?"

	"He was forcing a kiss upon her!" Soun's face grew red 
with anger. "The bastard didn't even pay attention to her 
struggles!"

	Right, she thought, Nodoka'd actually managed to get to 
first base. No wonder Soun was flustered. "So what do you 
want me to do?"

	The lanky martial artist shrugged helplessly. "I don't 
know! You came up with such a good plan last time... things 
were going wonderfully until Genma had to ruin it by 
assaulting Nodoka! Right in front of me, too!"

	"Hrm. Yeah, I am a genius, this is true..." Kiri racked her 
brains for an idea, already sold on the need to cause some sort 
of havoc. To begin with, she still owed Genma a bad turn or 
three. For another thing, Soun could be quite generous in his 
payment...

	"Right. 8000 yen, up front."

	Soun sputtered in indignation. "What about the simple 
nobility of helping a friend in need? The satisfaction of doing 
the right thing?"

	She shrugged. "No-one's ever accused me of simple 
nobility. Or any kind of nobility, for that matter. You can take 
the moral high ground, but gimme the cash, 'kay?"

	Reluctantly, Soun handed over several bills. "There. 5000. 
That's the most you'll get."

	"I suppose that'll have to do to start with." Kiri thought 
for a second, then grinned and stuck her head back into the 
garage. "Yo! Fog lady! C'mere!"

	Misuto daintily ran into the office. "Yes, Kiritsubo-san?"

	"This is Tendo Soun, one of the, er, local samurai. Soun, 
this is Misuto the Mist Kami. She does stuff with mists, fogs, 
and, recently, misaligned oil pans."

	Soun blinked. "Mist kami?"

	Misuto nodded happily. "That's right!"

	He scratched his head. "I thought they didn't exist. She 
just looks like a rather fetching young woman, to me."

	Kiri shrugged. "Yeah, well, she popped out of a bottle and 
tossed mystic kami stuff around until we straightened things 
out. If she ain't a kami, she should be in show business."

	"Kiritsubo-san is letting me reside in her garage and 
assist in the maintenance of her 'choppers'!" Misuto said 
cheerfully. "She says that if I do a good job, she might even pay 
me! And if I learn to change brake fluid to her satisfaction, 
she'll give me a real mattress to sleep on!"

	"How typically generous of her," Soun muttered, glancing 
pointedly at Kiri. She reddened slightly.

	"And I have Kasigi-sama to thank for it all," Misuto 
gushed. "My living here was all his idea!"

	"Ah," Soun said slowly. "So Genma is responsible for a 
lady of obvious breeding and reputed divinity working as a 
servant to a stingy grease monkey."

	"Grease monkey?" Kiri said dangerously. "You wanna die, 
Tendo?"

	Soun glared at her. "Really! How can you mistreat her like 
that?"

	"Oh, Kiritsubo-san doesn't mistreat me!" Misuto hastily 
assured him. "She even lets me clean the oil rags."

	"I rest my case," Soun said.

	Kiri gritted her teeth. "Look..." Grabbing Soun by the arm, 
she hauled him back into the garage. "You have no idea what 
keeping her here is like!" she hissed at him. "Believe me, if I 
could get away with not having her work, I would, but it's like 
having a little kid hanging around! She wants to help! If she 
'helps' me much more, I'm gonna go out of business! Look up 
there!" One finger stabbed up at the roof, pointing to a pile of 
twisted metal floating a few centimeters away from the 
ceiling. "I made a comment about that former cycle not having 
enough lift, and before I know it she's done some kami thing to 
the molecular whatsit of the liquid valves, and the thing tries 
to go into orbit. I'm spending more time keeping her from 
destroying my garage than I am working, and it's all Genma's 
fault for pushing her on me!"

	"That enemy of women," Soun growled. "Something needs 
to be done about him."

	"Yeah," she agreed. "That's what you paid me for." She led 
him back into the front office. "Anyway, Misuto, Soun here 
wants to break Genma and Nodoka up."

	Misuto eyed the martial artist speculatively. "Nodoka 
was the mortal Kasigi-sama was interested in?"

	"That's right," Kiri said, smiling benevolently. "Care to 
give Soun a hand somehow?"

	Misuto smiled slightly. "I think I would. It sounds like a 
most noble goal."

	"Cultured and wise," Soun pronounced.

	The mist kami blushed slightly. "You are too kind."

	"Not kind enough by half."

	"Oh, but sir..."

	"Enough with the mutual admiration society," Kiri 
snapped. "What sorta kami stuff you got for the destruction of 
promising relationships, Misuto?"

	Frowning, the kami stroked her chin thoughtfully. "I'm 
afraid I am a bit dated. How do young men compete for the hand 
of a maiden in this era?"

	"Nodoka will marry the finest martial artist in the 
Saotome-Ryuu, and we shall inherit the dojo and make it the 
most renowned in Japan," Soun pronounced. Kiri stared at him 
incredulously.

	"So she will essentially go to the most skillful warrior?" 
Misuto inquired. "Goodness. Maybe things haven't changed as 
much as I thought."

	Rolling her eyes, Kiri shook her head in disbelief. "You 
really believe that you can win Nodoka's heart by beating 
Genma, doncha, Soun."

	Soun looked puzzled. "Of course."

	"It sounds sensible to me," Misuto concurred.

	Kiri shrugged and gave up. At the very least, it involved 
beating up Genma, which was good enough for her. "Okay, fine. I 
don't suppose you could help Soun in that area?"

	Stupid question, she thought a second later. Misuto only 
seemed to be able to do things involving mists, fogs, or 
destroying items found in garages.

	"Of course," Misuto replied. "You are a martial artist, 
Tendo-san?"

	"I am," he replied.

	"And of noble bearing and virtuous temperment, swift to 
punish outrage?"

	Soun gave a slight bow. "You're too kind."

	"I shall teach you the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath," 
Misuto pronounced. "Once you master it, Kasigi-sama will be 
unable to defeat you, and will no longer be able to pursue 
Nodoka." Her eyes teared up slightly. "Defeated, alone, bereft of 
his so-called love, he will cast his mind from earthly things 
and turn to the heavens for comfort. Oh, the pathos and 
tragedy!" She blew her nose loudly into a hankie. "I love this 
sort of thing."

	"Right," Kiri said dubiously. "I thought you just knew 
mists and fogs?"

	"And the occasional devastating, long-lost, mystical 
martial arts technique that bears a vague relationship to mists 
and fogs," Misuto told her. "That sort of thing used to be very 
popular."

	"The long-lost mystical Righteous Seven Demons Wrath," 
Soun intoned reverently. "If I can master it... if I can rise to the 
challenge of my Art... Kasigi is doomed!"

	"You've heard of this thing before?" Kiri asked, curious.

	"No, but it sounds awfully impressive, so it must be 
good."

	"Oh."

	"It was the most feared technique of Kudaranai Gouzen, 
the highly avoided master of the Lower Heiian Period. 
Kudaranai-sensei used it to cleanse the area of all immoral 
people; however, since he had very high standards, he 
eventually depopulated a large portion of Kyushu." Misuto 
clasped her hands together solemnly. "He was finally only 
beaten by Kasuko the Naive, who was just then at the beginning 
of her glorious but exceedingly brief career."

	"I've never heard of either of them, I'm afraid," Soun 
admitted.

	"That's not surprising. Kudaranai-sensei was both 
conceited and disliked, so the chroniclers took their revenge 
upon him by neglecting to record his name for posterity. 
Kasuko was a semipromising fighter who defeated several 
mighty opponents by means of the fearsome Kawaii-No-Chikara 
technique, which basically consisted of being too adorably 
sweet for anyone to even dream of hitting."

	"A mighty technique indeed," Soun pronounced. "Why was 
her career brief?"

	"A bear ate her."

	"Oh."

	"It is said that she showed perfect control of the 
technique til the end, even being devoured in the cutest 
possible fashion."

	"That's sick," Kiri said, wincing. "So this technique you're 
gonna teach Soun... it'll beat Genma? Painfully?"

	"It should provide a resounding defeat, yes," Misuto said 
confidently. "I would be most surprised if Genma has mastered 
the Kawaii-No-Chikara." She frowned. "I would be most 
disturbed and repulsed, too."

	All three of them considered that for a second, and 
shuddered.

	"Let's please not go there," Kiri mumbled. "Okay. Why 
don't you two go off somewhere nice and zenlike to learn this 
raging demon wrap thing, or whatever it is? I kinda doubt 
garages are conductive to learning mystic techniques."

	"True," Soun replied. "There is a shaded grove behind the 
Tendo home which is most complementary to the the Art. Shall 
we adjourn to there?"

	"Okay!"

	Kiri smiled benevolently. "You kids have fun, now."

	"I'm once again in your debt, Kiritsubo-san," Soun replied 
thankfully. "This is just the thing I need to win Nodoka back!"

	"If you say so. Good luck with the pompous demon thing."

	The two left, and Kiri did a little dance of glee. She'd 
gotten rid of Misuto for a time, earned a nice amount of legal 
money, set Genma up for a pounding, and might have just set 
Soun up for something as well.

	Life was good.

* * * *

	The glade behind the Tendo residence had a waterfall, 
which seemed to please Misuto to no end.

	"I do love water in motion," she commented 
appreciatively. Soun gave an uncertain nod in response.

	"So," he said, eager to begin. "How does one master this 
technique? What does it do?"

	Misuto adopted a solemn expression. "The power of the 
Righteous Seven Demon Wrath comes from the fearsome and 
just outrage of a noble soul towards base and treacherous 
behavior. Faced with the very embodiment of your fury in your 
battle aura, your opponent has no choice but to submit."

	"Oh," Soun said, his forehead crinkling. "How foul and 
outrageous does the person have to be?"

	"It depends on the martial artist. All that is required is 
that you enter a state of fury over their conduct."

	He grinned. "I think that won't be a problem."

	"You must gather your rage and indignation, shape it, give 
it form, and then manifest it in your battle aura! The longer 
you hold back, remaining outwardly calm, the stronger it builds 
- until it is released with unstoppable force. You must learn to 
gather and shape your anger in this fashion."

	Soun gave an eager bow. "Yes! How should I start."

	Misuto nodded gravely. "Close your eyes."

	Soun screwed them tightly shut. "Okay."

	"Think of a pleasant dream. A peaceful day, your Nodoka 
by your side, all your troubles drifting away with the peaceful 
roar of the waterfall, the happy little bluebirds twittering 
happily in the trees."

	Smiling, eyes closed, he nodded. "That is a pleasant 
picture."

	"Everything is nice and relaxing. You have a picnic, and an 
adorable puppy plays on the blanket beside you. The sun is nice 
and warm, and you have no worries or cares."

	Soun nodded blissfully.

	"Can you see it, Tendo-san?"

	"I can," he replied peacefully.

	Misuto nodded in satisfaction and kicked him in the balls, 
hard.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Soun screamed, 
doubling over in agony. "AAARGH!"

	"You are not trying hard enough!"

	"I WAS TRYING, YOU CRAZY WENCH!" Soun bellowed. "THAT 
HURT!"

	Misuto shook her head sadly. "You're not channeling your 
anger, you incompetent peasant! You're just letting it out in 
your words! Build your righteous indignation and project it 
through your fighting spirit!"

	"I'm trying," Soun said blackly. "It's not easy..."

	"Not easy? Hah. Even HE can do it!"

	Soun turned to look where she was pointing. Misuto 
reached into the folds of her kimono, pulled out a baseball bat, 
and immediately whacked him over the head with it.

	Sighing, she walked over to the unconscious martial 
artist, picked him up, and dragged him over the the babbling 
brook that fed the waterfall. Then she proceeded to hold his 
head underwater.

	Finally, after turning an interesting shade of blue, Soun 
tore free from her grasp and surfaced, gasping and choking. 
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MANIAC?!"

	"You let your guard down too easy, moron!" she chided. 
"You will never learn the Righteous Seven Demon Wrath at this 
rate! I know Kasigi-sama would have learned it by now."

	Soun's face went from blue to purple. Choking, his mouth 
opened and closed, his sparse mustache trembling with fury.

	"That's it!" Misuto said triumphantly. "Contain and 
channel your outrage!"

	He blinked, regaining his composure. "That was good, 
then? I was learning it?"

	"Yes indeed," Misuto told him encouragingly. "You were 
doing very well indeed, Tendo-san." Beaming, she bowed deeply 
to him.

	Soun returned the bow. As he did, she brought her knee up 
and her hands down, neatly catching his face between the two.

	"You were doing well until you let go of the anger you'd 
been building, you stupid fool! Haven't you been listening to a 
word I'm saying? Were you always this dumb, or did it take 
years of diligent effort to reach such lofty heights of idiocy? 
PAY ATTENTION!"

	"NNNNAAAAUGH!" Soun screamed, clutching his bleeding 
nose with both hands.

	"Wimp! Continue the training!"

	Soun snarled incoherently, blood running down his gi. 
"You... you..."

	"That's it! Build and channel that anger, you sorry excuse 
for a trained baboon!"

	It was, both grimly concluded, going to be a long training 
session.

* * * *

	Nodoka stared at her magazine raptly, holding the 
centerfold out at arm's length to get a better view. She 
wondered idly how Genma would look in that pose.

	It wasn't, she once again reassured herself, that she was 
a pervert. She just wanted men to act the way they were 
supposed to, not this shy, reluctant, spineless crap. And it 
would be nice if they could go around in their underwear too, 
but that was pushing the limits of reasonable expectations.

	She would, she supposed, have to settle for Genma being 
moderately passionate. Like that kiss the other day. She had 
needed to take the initiative, but once he got going... whew. It 
was a pity Soun had to show up when he did.

	Soun. A nice guy, in a goofy sort of way, but the constant 
feuding and competition was beginning to get on her nerves a 
little. Granted, she admitted, feuding and competing was 
exactly the sort of thing men should do - very manly, that - but 
it would also be nice if she could get through a date without 
combat breaking out in her lap.

	"Nodoka?"

	Hastily, she tucked the magazine behind the bed and tried 
to look casual. "Come in, Genma!"

	The door to her room opened, and her semi-boyfriend 
entered. "Hey. Sorry about having to dash off like that."

	"Oh, that's okay," she said. "Come sit down over here and 
we can..."

	"Uh, actually I was thinking we might take a walk or 
something," Genma said hurriedly. "Or spar a bit, or something."

	"A walk sounds fine." Better than fine, considering the 
luck she'd had on their last stroll. "Let me just get my coat."

* * * *

	Genma tried to figure out why he kept inflicting these 
things on himself.

	Partly because he liked to spend time with Nodoka, he 
supposed. At least, when she wasn't trying to merge her hand 
with his. Which she was attempting as they walked through one 
of the downtown areas of Nerima, cafes and shops lining the 
street.

	"So Grandma Saotome's feeling better, then?"

	"Much," Nodoka replied. "She's still a bit frail but... well, 
she _is_ awfully old."

	"Heh. So is Saotome-sensei, and he certainly isn't frail."

	"I think it has something to do with being a martial 
artist. That and..." Nodoka frowned. "Grandfather has always 
been a man among men. He's slowed down a little in his old age, 
but he used to be quite vigorous."

	"He's still pretty vigorous," Genma replied fervently. 
"Saotome-sensei could probably beat me and Soun at the same 
time, if he felt like it."

	"Yes, but what I meant was..."

	"Genma..."

	Looking up, Genma sighed. "What is it now, Tendo?"

	The lanky martial artist strolled forward from a 
sidestreet, a stoic frown on his face. "You are not worthy of 
the privilege of dating Nodoka, Kasigi."

	Genma yawned loudly. "Whatever."

	Nodoka just rolled her eyes and waited for the fight to 
begin.

	Soun scowled. "'Whatever'? Is that all you gave to say for 
yourself?"

	"Go pester someone else," Genma drawled lazily. "You've 
haven't managed to beat me in months, and I doubt you ever 
will again. The dojo's gonna be _mine_, Tendo. Maybe I'll let 
you be my senior pupil..."

	He stopped, frowning. Soun's face was red, but he didn't 
seem to be in a state of incoherent fury.

	"Hey, Soun, you forget how to speak? Brain finally break 
down completely? Suppose it was bound to happen one of these 
days..."

	"Kasigiiii..." Soun hissed. He seemed to be glowing 
slightly, Genma noticed with alarm.

	"If you're gonna fight, fight," he said, snapping into a 
ready stance. "You're starting to bore me."

	"Bore you?" Soun slowly said, incandescent with rage. 
"Bore you? We certainly can't have that."

	And, suddenly, the gates of hell seemed to break open.

	Genma's jaw dropped as the sixteen-foot-tall demon 
leaned down, long, snakelike tongue lashing the air. Flaming 
eyes bulged from gargantuan, red-rimmed sockets.

	It was, gibbered the tiny part of his mind that was still 
capable of thought, easily the most horrible thing he'd ever 
seen in his life. And it bore a rather strong resemblance to 
Soun.

	"KKKKAAAAAAAASSSSSIIIIGGGGGIIIIIIII!" the thing 
bellowed, the word roaring out of a mouth lined with huge, 
ichor-dripping fangs.

	"Eeeeeeeeep," Genma said, and fainted dead away.

	Soun smiled, carefully combed his hair, and strolled over 
to Nodoka.

	"Would you care to go for a walk together?" he inquired.

	Nodoka dumbly nodded, eyes wide and bulging. Her higher 
mental functions were still trying to recover from the fit of 
absolute terror the thing had inspired.

	"Come along then, dear Nodoka-san. I know a cafe not far 
from his spot. A brief stroll, a quick meal, and then... who can 
say?"

	"All right," Nodoka managed.

	There was a brief pause as she tried to remember how to 
move her legs.

	"Urrrgh," she commented.

	"Allow me." With a flourish, Soun picked her up, settled 
her in his arms, and strolled off.

	Genma was in his path, but that didn't slow him down. 
Indeed, Soun thought contentedly, Genma made an excellent 
doormat.

* * * *

	Kiri put down the pair of binoculars and shuddered. 
"Aaaaaaaugh. That was truly hideous."

	Misuto nodded contentedly. "Tendo-san shows a true gift 
for the technique. I've never seen anyone master it so quickly." 
She sipped at the delicate china cup of coffee on the table 
before her and glanced around the cafe's balcony. "Isn't this 
expensive?"

	Nodding, Kiri stuffed another scone in her mouth. "Yup. 
But Tendo wanted witnesses, and I suggested the second-floor 
balcony of this place as a good spot for watching without being 
seen. So he agreed to foot the bill."

	"Goodness. That was generous of him."

	"Soun's family is wealthy. He can certainly afford it." 
Kiri sipped a bit of tea, gazing through the binoculars again as 
she did. "Hmm. Genma's twitching a bit, but he doesn't seem to 
be getting up."

	"I'm not surprised," the mist kami replied. "The Righteous 
Seven Demons Wrath will unman even the bravest soul, 
reducing proud warriors to quivering, sobbing wrecks." She 
thumped her coffeecup gently on the table for empathsis. "It is 
a most terrible technique, one that should have been lost in the 
healing mists of time."

	"So why'd you teach it to Soun?"

	"It seemed like a good idea. Besides, the healing mists of 
time are overrated."

	Kiri chuckled. "There's hope for you yet, Misuto. Think you 
could teach me that trick?"

	The mist kami shuddered. "I think that would be a very, 
very bad idea. For both of us. Besides, it only works if the 
martial artist in question has good control of his ki, and most 
importantly is capable of massive bursts of righteous, 
indignant anger."

	"Well, that rules me out on both counts," Kiri said 
regretfully. "So this thing's pretty unstoppable, huh? How'd 
what's her name, Kasuko, defeat it?"

	"Kasuko used, as I related, the Kawaii-No-Chikara 
technique. She was so disgustingly nice and inoffensive that 
Kudaranai-sensei was unable to summon up any indignation, 
and hence could not use the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath. She 
served him tea, complimented him on his attire, and then drove 
fragments of his nose into his brain with a swift shisen 
punch."

	"Cold," Kiri said appreciatively. "Somehow I don't think 
that's going to work for Genma. Soun can get mad at him 
without even trying." She shook her head in admiration. "Oh, 
Genma is _so_ screwed! He always used to beat Soun by 
taunting him until the guy was too angry to fight intelligently. 
Now, the madder Soun gets, the worse it's gonna be."

	"Alone, defeated, my chosen consort is cast out into the 
cold hard world," Misuto intoned sadly, dabbing at her eyes. 
"Oh, what tragedy! Fortunately I shall stand by him, even in 
these trying and difficult times."

	Kiri glanced down through the binoculars again. "People 
are stepping on his face."

	"How rude."

	"Mebbe we'd better go drag him into a gutter or 
something, where the traffic won't tromp on him."

	"That's a fine idea, Kiritsubo-san. Very thoughtful."

	"Genma's lucky," Kiri said grandly, "that he has good 
friends like us to look after him."

* * * *

	"I think he's coming to."

	Genma nervously opened one eye.

	Two slightly-sympathetic female faces peered back at 
him.

	"What happened?" he moaned.

	"Soun learned a new technique," Kiri told him 
enthusiastically. "A really cool one. Man, you shoulda seen the 
look on your face!"

	Wincing, Genma sat up. He seemed to have been placed in 
a fairly-clean alley. "So he won?"

	"Yeah, that's one way of putting it," she cheerfully told 
him. "Soun made a few suave remarks, scooped up Nodoka, and 
off they went."

	"Soun? Suave?" The magnitude of the catastrophe was 
slowly beginning to sink in. "He beat me in front of Nodoka, in a 
matter of seconds, and then walked off with her? Didn't he 
even do his normal two-thumbed routine?"

	Kiri shook her head. "I think he was on a victory high. He 
seemed pretty slick and confident."

	Genma groaned. "This is terrible."

	"You've got this wet stain on your pants, too," Kiri 
helpfully pointed out. She'd added it with a plant waterer a few 
minutes ago.

	He buried his face in his hands. "What the hell WAS that 
thing?"

	"The legendary Righteous Seven Demons Wrath," Misuko 
intoned. "I'm afraid it's supposed to be almost unbeatable, 
Kasigi-sama."

	"Huh." He scowled. "Where on earth would Soun learn 
something like that anyway?"

	"Nice weather we're having, is it not, Kiritsubo-san?"

	"Oh, yeah, heheh, great weather."

	Genma stood, his face crinkling into a determined mask. 
"Soun may have caught me off guard once, but now I'm ready! 
I'm not going to let some ugly demon thing scare me away from 
my rightful place!"

	"That's the spirit, Genma!" Kiri urged cheerfully. "Go get 
him!"

	"Hah! C'mon, Kiri. I'm gonna show you exactly how much 
use Soun's little trick is against a real man."

	"Kasigi-sama, I don't think this is..."

	Genma started walking. Grinning, Kiri followed.

	"I don't think this is a good idea," Misuto whispered to 
the mechanic as she hurried to catch up.

	Kiri smiled and nodded. "Sure isn't. Gonna be a lot of fun 
to watch, though."

* * * *

	"KKKKKKAAAAAAASSSSSSSIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGIIIII!"

	Genma shrieked, backpedaled, and flung himself out a 
window. The other patrons of the restaurant cowered under 
their tables.

	Smiling, Soun regained his composure and his seat. "How 
rude of the cur! To try to interrupt us while dining!"

	Nodoka, eyes glazed, continued to pour herself a glass of 
wine. The bottle was already half-empty, and the glass had 
long since overflowed onto the table.

	"Nodoka-san?"

	With an effort, she snapped herself out of her fright. "s... 
s... soun?"

	"Yes, dearest?"

	"Do you really have to DO that?"

	He shrugged. "It seems the best way of getting rid of 
Kasigi."

	Nodoka nodded, her brain slowly unlocking. She wasn't 
sure what it was that Soun had learned, but it was incredibly 
annoying. Not only did it render her incoherent with fear, but it 
made Genma act about as unmanly as you could get! Screaming 
and jumping out of a closed 3rd story window, for example! 
What cowardice!

	"It's... a bit upsetting," she finally said.

	Soun nodded sadly. "I can see how it would be. Still, 
better that you find out what a spineless rogue Kasigi is now 
than ten years down the road." He took her hand, and squeezed 
it slightly. "Rest assured, I shall always be here for you."

	In spite of herself, she was a bit impressed. Soun was 
actually pretty attractive when he was acting so assertive.

	"Say, was that Genma who just jumped out the window?" 

	Nodoka scowled as Biki Kiritsubo sauntered over to their 
table, giving them a friendly grin. "Hi, Nodoka. Long time no 
see."

	"Yes," Nodoka replied evenly. "Not since you did that favor 
for our Mutual Friend."

	Kiri had the grace to look slightly apologetic. "Yeah, well, 
that turned out okay in the end, didn't it?"

	Soun scowled. "It was, as I recall, almost an unmitigated 
disaster. Poor Nodoka was groped!"

	"Yeah," Nodoka said dreamily. "Groped."

	Earnest expression firmly in place, Kiri glanced out the 
window. "Just wanted to make sure you two were having a good 
time. Would be a pity if Kasigi were to come storming back in 
here..."

	Nodoka cringed at the thought of yet another demonic 
interruption. "Yes. It would be."

	"It certainly would," Soun agreed. "Why he keeps 
pestering poor Nodoka is beyond me."

	Kiri nodded sympathetically. "Tell you what. I'll go make 
sure he doesn't bother you again today."

	"Would you?" Nodoka said thankfully. "That would be 
wonderful, Kiri. Thanks."

	"I'm in your debt, Kiritsubo-san," Soun said solemnly.

	She nodded. "Yes. You are. Have fun, you two." Chuckling, 
she departed, only to be replaced by a smiling woman in a 
kimono of blue and yellow and grey. Bowing, she placed an 
assortment of flowers on the table. "For the young couple, 
complements of the, ah, management."

	"Lovely," Nodoka said, meaning it. "Look, the dew's still 
on them!" 

	"Imagine that," Soun said, glaring slightly at the woman.

	"You two make a lovely pair," Misuto told them, beaming. 
"Enjoy your dinner."

	"Everyone's being awfully nice to us all of a sudden," 
Nokoda told Soun as Misuto left.

	"I expect it's to make up for recent days," he replied. 
"More wine?"

* * * *

	"Aaaaaaaugh."

	"He's awake again," Kiri informed her companion. She 
watched with mild amusement as Misuto ushered over to fuss 
over Genma's dazed form. 

	She was, Kiri realized to her surprise, actually beginning 
to feel a little bad for the guy. Getting beaten up twice in one 
day, after all - and by Soun, no less - was pretty rough.

	Then again, this was welcome payback for a lot of 
Genma's sabotage. 

	She'd just wait and see, Kiri decided. Once she truly 
began to feel sorry for him, she'd... she'd... hrm. Give him a hand 
in some way. But for right now, the entertainment and profit 
value of this was just priceless.

	"Where am I?" Genma muttered, as Misuto ran a cool cloth 
along his face.

	"Joe's," Kiri replied. "You took a screaming leap out the 
window the second Soun hit you with that thing. So much for 
what a 'real man' can do."

	"That thing's not natural," Genma muttered.

	"No, really? You're quick, Kasigi."

	"Poor Kasigi-sama," Misuto said comfortingly, washing a 
cut on his forehead. "You truly would be better off not 
attacking Tendo-san. There truly isn't anything to be done 
about the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath."

	"Huh. Saotome-sensei teaches us that there's no such 
thing as an unbeatable technique," Genma said. "Everything has 
a weak spot."

	"True," Misuto admitted. "But some weak spots are larger 
than others. The technique Soun is using is practically tailor-
made to counter you; the only proven way to defeat it is to 
keep him from getting angry at you."

	"No sweat, then," Genma said thoughtfully. "I'll just act 
all meek and humble until I get close to him, and then..."

	Kiri shook her head. "Nice idea, but no. That would work 
exactly once, and then he'd take any humbleness on your part as 
a disguise for something sneaky. Which'll make him even more 
mad."

	"Damn." Genma looked lost for a second, then shrugged. 
"I'll just have to ask Saotome-sensei for advice. Maybe he'll 
now what to do."

	"You could just give up and let Soun have Nodoka," Misuto 
brightly suggested. Kiri winced.

	"Like hell," Genma growled. "There's gotta be some way of  
defeating that thing! I just have to figure out what it is. Seeya, 
Kiri, Misuto."

	With that, he stomped out of the garage.

	"Nice going," Kiri told the mist kami. "Genma's stubborn, 
see. If you tell him he shouldn't do something, he'll go it just 
to prove that he can."

	"Oh dear," Misuto said worriedly. "Is he really that in love 
with Nodoka?"

	Kiri laughed. "In love? Naw, I doubt it. He likes her, but I 
think that's about as far as it goes. This isn't about Genma 
trying to get Nodoka; this is about Genma and Soun competing 
over a prize."

	Misuto frowned. "Maybe if I were to get them to compete 
over me..."

	Kiri shook her head disgustedly. "Weren't you listening? 
They aren't competing _for_ Nodoka, just over her. I kinda feel 
bad for the poor girl. If she had any sense, she'd go look for 
someone who wasn't a overcompetitive jock."

	"Oh, I don't know," Misuto said. "I think the competition is 
rather attractive, in a way. Very noble."

	"Yeesh. Where'd you get your ideas about men, the 15th 
century?"

	"The 13th century, actually."

	"Oh yeah. I forgot."

* * * *

	Nodoka awoke, sitting straight up in bed. She had heard 
something...

	A rapping on her window caused her to get up, gathering 
her nightgown about herself as she did. Dimly, through the 
glass, she could see Genma frantically trying to keep his grip 
on the windowframe.

	Smiling slightly, she opened the window and hauled him 
inside. "Genma, visiting me in my room at night! That's so... 
daring." She let her voice fall slightly, and carefully bared a 
bit of shoulder. It was high time he showed this sort of 
initiative - maybe this thing with Soun wasn't such a bad idea 
after all!

	Genma scowled at her. "Look, what's the deal with you 
and Soun?"

	She scowled back. "The big deal is that he walked up, did 
something absolutely horrifying, and caused you to faint like a 
little girl."

	"Like a...!" Nodoka angrily signaled for him to be quiet, and 
he continued in a lower tone. "It's not my fault! It's some sort 
of secret technique or something. Besides, YOU didn't exactly 
yawn it off either."

	"Of course not, stupid, I'm a woman. I'm allowed to be 
scared." She shuddered. "Genma, if it's okay with you, could you 
please not attack Soun anymore, at least while I'm around? 
That demon thing really is unpleasant, and I don't enjoy seeing 
you wailing in fear like a baby."

	Genma felt his teeth grind in frustration. "It's not as if I 
had a choice in the matter! Saotome-sensei would turn tail and 
run if that thing were used on him!"

	She sniffed. "Don't be silly, of course he wouldn't."

	"He would! Misuto said that there isn't a person in the 
world who can resist it!"

	Nodoka looked at him suspiciously. "Who's Misuto?"

	"Oh, this mist kami me and Kiri accidentally freed. She 
was going to abduct me for some 'consort' business, but her 
power was low and she wasn't able to."

	She blinked. "Mist kami?"

	"Yeah."

	"That's ridiculous."

	"Hey, you should see her," Genma retorted, stung. "She 
looks the part, and..."

	"Oh, so she looks like a kami?"

	"Yeah. And she..."

	"And she just threw herself all over you, I bet?"

	"Well, I mean, not like you do, but..."

	Nodoka's left eye began to twitch. "Pretty, is she?"

	"Yeah, very. You okay, Nodoka? You look kinda..."

	"Better looking than me, I suppose?"

	Genma scratched his head. "Well, maybe in some ways, 
yeah, but..."

	He suddenly found himself airborne.

	"AND STAY OUT!"

	The window slammed. Below, Genma whimpered, rubbed 
his head, and tried to figure out if any major bones had been 
broken.

	Women, he thought blackly. He'd be better off just letting 
Soun _have_ Nodoka. Let him be the one who got tossed out of 
second-floor windows. 

	Still...

	Besides, there was the dojo to think about. He was gonna 
inherit the Saotome-Ryuu, and that was that. Special technique 
or not.

* * * *

	Morning found Genma sitting across from Saotome-sensei 
as the old man ate his breakfast.

	"The Righteous Seven Demons Wrath, eh?" The master 
shook his head. "A terrible technique. It was used on me to 
great effect in my youth." He chuckled. "I would expect that 
Soun would show a knack for it."

	"You could say that," Genma muttered darkly. "A technique 
based on self-righteousness is just the thing for Soun."

	"It is, however, very effective," Saotome-sensei told 
him. "I assume that you have tried to screw up your courage 
and resist the fear it inspires?" Genma nodded, and the master 
shook his head sadly. "Braver men than you have tried. All have 
failed. Moral courage alone is not enough to withstand such 
terror."

	"So what can I do?" Genma asked plaintively. "Master, I 
can't just let Soun keep beating me like this. I'm better than 
him; he's just got this one lousy technique that no-one can 
defeat!"

	Saotome-sensei chuckled. "Well, actually, it has been 
beaten before by means of the mighty Kawaii-No-Chikara 
technique."

	"Excellent! Master, please teach me this technique."

	The old man looked slightly ill. "I don't think that would 
work very well, Genma."

	"Oh."

	"There is, however, a way to defeat the Righteous Seven 
Demons Wrath." Saotome-sensei smiled slightly. "Think, boy. 
What happens when Soun uses the technique?"

	"He stands very still, trembles slightly, and then a huge 
demon seems to appear and roars at me."

	"So why do you not attack and defeat him, if he is 
standing so still?" inquired Saotome-sensei.

	"Because I'm huddling on the ground in a quivering heap," 
Genma said impatiently. "Master, I explained..."

	A thrown rice cake smacked him painfully in the nose. 
"Think, boy. Why are you lying on the ground in a quivering 
heap?"

	"Because the sight of the thing is frightening enough to 
unman anyone, that's why!"

	Saotome-sensei nodded, smiling slightly.

	Genma froze, then slowly began to grin. "And if I can't 
actually SEE the thing..."

	"...then it will have no effect at all on you," finished the 
master. "And Soun will be standing still while performing it."

	The grin slowly began to fade. "What about the sound 
part, though?"

	"By itself, the noise should only disorient you."

	Genma frowned. "Disorient me? If I can't see, and I'm 
disoriented, my chances of actually hitting him aren't that 
great."

	"Quite true," Saotome-sensei agreed. "Unless, of course, 
you were to undergo special training."

	"I figured it would come to that," Genma said glumly. "It's 
going to be horrible, isn't it."

	Saotome-sensei grinned and nodded.

* * * *

	The two pulled to a halt in front of an old, crumbling, 
highly-disreputable warehouse on the border of Ant Town.

	Genma uneasily eyed the cycles, hot rods, and assorted 
riffraff hanging out in front of the place. "Sensei? What is this 
place?"

	The elderly master took a long puff on his pipe, gazing at 
the dilapidated building with satisfaction. "This, my boy, is the 
home of one of the most hideously warped human practices on 
earth."

	"It looks the part." Genma stared at the place with new 
wariness. "So what do I do?"

	"Go inside. Adjust to it. Then start a fight."

	Genma blinked. "Master, I'm a trained martial artist. Is 
that really fair?"

	Saotome-sensei smiled grimly. "You haven't seen what 
it's like inside yet. Besides, someone will undoubtably pick a 
fight with you before you have a chance to start one. Good luck, 
son. Try not to get killed."

	He swallowed. "Thank you, sensei. I think."

	Steeling himself for the worst, Genma strode up to the 
warehouse doors. No-one challenged him, and soon he was 
inside and proceeding down a small flight of cramped, pitch-
black stairs.

	He could hear some sort of noise up ahead... he couldn't 
see a thing, though. It was all he could do not to trip and break 
his neck.

	Finally, he reached the bottom of the stairs. The strange 
noise was louder now... almost mechanical, with a throbbing, 
pulsing quality to it.

	A heavy black curtain stood in front of him. Preparing for 
the worst, Genma pushed through it, then through the one 
behind it, and the one behind it...

	He emerged, and stopped dead, nausea and disorientation 
overwhelming him.

	The floor seemed to be tilted strangely. Not only that, 
but it was flashing in different colors at irregular intervals. 
The walls were painted black, with glittery things in them... 
well, at least he thought so. It was hard to tell where exactly 
the walls were, and some lunatic had put mirrors in incredibly 
strange places. A strobelight was flashing like a psychotic 
firefly, providing almost the only illumination in the room, the 
staccato light reflecting from the huge, glittering ball 
dangling from the ceiling. Wind howled through the room, 
seemingly from nowhere.

	But worst of all was the pulsing, deafening NOISE 
shrieking through the room. It made his eardrums want to 
faint.

	Dear God, Genma thought dazedly. I'm in hell.

	The room was packed with people, who he frequently 
stumbled into as he proceeded across the tilted floor. He 
finally found that closing his eyes helped his balance 
considerably, leaving only the deafening noise to turn his 
senses into slush.

	/GET DOWN, GET DOWN/ someone screamed rhythmically 
from the front of the room. Genma dropped to the floor, more 
by accident than design.

	He was vaguely aware that some of the insane people 
were yelling at him. With an effort, he stumbled to his feet, 
accidentally bumping into several dancers as he did.

	This produced more angry shout, none of which he could 
understand over the noise. His senses were about to melt down.

	Then someone shoved him.

	With a happy sigh of relief, Genma axe-kicked him. Maybe 
as soon as he beat everyone up, he could leave.

* * * *

	Saotome-sensei watched as the tattered, bruised form of 
his student crawled out of the warehouse, swayed slightly, and 
collapsed at his feet.

	"42 minutes," the master pronounced. "Not too bad."

	"Sensei, make the world stop spinning?" Genma mumbled 
dazedly.

	"Buck up, my boy. After enduring that, Soun's attack 
shouldn't faze you a bit."

	"Ergh," Genma replied. "What the hell was that? A cult?"

	"No, it's some sort of dance club. They play a sort of 
music called 'Disco', in which people 'boogie til they drop'."

	"They dropped after I hit 'em enough," Genma muttered. 
"What was supposed to be music? Really?"

	Saotome-sensei shrugged. "I hear it's getting more 
popular. Might even go mainstream one of these days."

	"I don't think so. Even America has better taste." Genma's 
eyes wobbled precariously. "I'm going to pass out now, master."

	"Go right ahead, Genma."

	Several hours later, Biki Kiritsubo was somewhat 
surprised to find Genma lying, fast asleep, in front of the 
Disco Inferno. The surprise gave way to irritation when she 
found the beaten and unconscious bodies of the gang members 
she was scheduled to meet with lying strewn about the 
wreckage of the dance floor.

	"No appreciation of modern music," she muttered, vainly 
trying to shake the gang leader awake. With an annoyed sigh, 
she stomped back up the stairs, strapped Genma to the back of 
her cycle, and headed back to Joe's Garage.

	Genma came to several hours later. As he groaned and 
held his head in mild agony, Kiri glared at him.

	"Why is it that every time I try to do a little business, 
some testosterone-pumped martial artist has to wander 
through and beat up the people I'm supposed to barter with?"

	"Anyone who'd willingly go into that hell isn't anyone 
you'd want to deal with anyway," Genma mumbled, wincing. "My 
head still feels like it was used for nuclear testing."

	Kiri rolled her eyes. "Huh. Just be glad you didn't go in on 
a Saturday. They have the REAL LOUD band on Saturdays."

	Genma just closed his eyes. "I bet ear doctors love that 
club. Probably pays their bills for the next few years."

	"It's not so bad once you get used to it. Of course, it's not 
so good either, but it's kinda fun for a change." She grinned. "So 
what were you doing there, hmm? Doesn't exactly seem like 
your kind of place."

	"Saotome-sensei took me there to train to beat Soun."

	"Your elderly, sage, venerable martial arts sensei took 
you to a disco to train?"

	Genma winced once again. "Oh, he knew what he was 
doing. After the horror that is disco, handling Soun will be a 
piece of cake."

	Kiri chuckled. "Just wait til it gets really popular."

	"That stuff? Popular? Please." He tried to stand, swayed 
a bit, and sat back down. "What time is it?"

	"Oh, about nine in the evening. Why?"

	"Mind if I just spend the night here? I think I'm going to 
need a night's sleep before my balance returns to normal."

	"Yeah, sure. There's an air mattress in the garage; you've 
slept on it before."

	He nodded. "Isn't Misuto using it?"

	"Hmm? No, I give her a choice between the couch or the 
ragheap." Kiri gave him a sour grin. "If she ever gets through a 
day without causing any damage, I'll give her the mattress as a 
reward."

	He chuckled weakly. "Fair enough. Sorry about foisting 
her off on you like that."

	"Well... she's not that bad, I suppose," Kiri admitted. 
"She's a nice old girl, and she really does try to help. She's 
just... I don't know... naive in places. But only in places. I keep 
trying to decide whether she's incredibly wise and 
experienced, or the stupidest, most gullible bimbo in Japan." 
She shook her head. "If I can just stay afloat for a few more 
weeks, I think she'll settle in. Might even become useful. It's 
just the breaking-in that's driving me crazy."

	"I can have her over at my house for a few days, if it'll 
help..."

	"Absolutely not," Kiri said, looking appalled. "I wouldn't 
inflict your mother on my worst enemy." Her expression 
softened slightly. "Look, I'll manage. Don't worry about it."

	Genma nodded, eyes still closed. "Thanks."

	"I think you got an even worse deal than me in the 
parents department," Kiri said. "At least mine don't cause me 
any problems. The dead are nice and inoffensive."

	"Mom doesn't mean to be like that. She's just... I don't 
know. Insane, I suppose. She was a little better when I was 
younger. But not much." He slumped a little. "I think I'm gonna 
get some sleep now. My head's killing me."

	"Here, lemme give you a hand." Looping an arm under his 
shoulders, she pulled him to his feet and escorted him into the 
garage. "Mattress is right over here. Want a blanket?"

	"'sokay."

	Kiri nodded. "Sleep well, then."

	Genma muttered something unintelligible, and collapsed 
on the mattress.

	Rolling her eyes, Kiri quietly left, flicking the lights off 
as she did.

* * * *

	Genma woke up, yawned, and then realized someone was 
nestled under one of his arms.

	"Um," he said. "Misuto?"

	"Yes, Kasigi-sama?"

	"What are you doing?"

	"I was sleeping, Kasigi-sama."

	"Uh, yeah," he said. "I meant what are you doing draped all 
over me like this."

	"I was sleeping."

	Genma calmly disentangled himself, noting with relief 
that all of his clothing and all of her clothing seemed to be in 
place and untampered with. "Next time, uh, could you ask 
before sharing a bed with me?"

	The door opened, and Kiri walked in. "Morning, Genma, 
Misuto." She blinked. "Hey, mist chick. You're on the mattress."

	The kami looked sheepish. "I wanted to be near Kasigi-
sama."

	The young mechanic raised an eyebrow. "Slick, Genma. 
Real slick."

	"It's not like that!" he yelped. "She only slept with me!"

	Both eyebrows shot up.

	"NOT LIKE THAT!" Genma yelled. "I woke up and she was 
right next to me. That's it. Nothing happened."

	Kiri smirked. "Better hope Nodoka never hears about it."

	Gritting his teeth, Genma glared at her. "Yeah, she'd 
better not hear about it."

	"Why shouldn't she hear about it?" Misuto asked. "You're 
my consort, after all."

	"I am not your consort," Genma informed her. "I'm not 
your consort, I'm not Nodoka's consort, I'm not nobody's 
consort, okay?"

	"He's cute when he's assertive," Misuto stage-whispered 
to Kiri. The biker rolled her eyes.

	Genma stomped off into the main office. "Kiri, we got any 
breakfast in this place?"

	"Nope. What, you think I'm made of money?"

	He sighed. "C'mon. I'll treat you to a beefbowl or 
something. And them I'm gonna go find Soun and beat the crap 
outta him."

	Kiri chuckled. "I'll pay for myself."

	"Huh?" he said, slightly shocked.

	"If you're going to try and fight Soun, you're gonna have a 
lousy enough time without paying for my meals."

	"Thanks a lot," Genma muttered.

* * * *

	As it turned out, Soun was easy to find. 

	He was just emerging from the Saotome dojo when 
Genma, Kiri, and Misuto pulled up. Nodoka was with him, 
dressed for a walk.

	Soun waved cheerfully as he saw them approach. "Hello, 
Kasigi! I'm going for a walk with Nodoka-san, but feel free to 
use the dojo in our absence."

	"I don't think so," Genma said, smiling tightly. "I think I 
owe you a good pounding."

	Kiri and Misuto hastily moved away from him, retreating 
to the sidelines. Nodoka just covered her face with her hands.

	"So," Soun said, the cheerful tone vanishing. "You would 
dare to interfere with our outing? You would insult Nodoka-san 
like that?"

	"Well, after she tossed me out of her room like that last 
night, yeah," Genma said, sticking his tongue out. 

	Soun turned an interesting shade of purple. 

	"Try something, you no-talent!" Genma jeered. "You 
couldn't frighten a shell-shocked mouse!"

	The purple deepened almost to black. Genma could feel 
the force of the building battle aura. It was going to be even 
stronger than the first two, which was what he was counting 
on.

	"Hey, Nodoka," he called, closing his eyes as he did. "I'm 
gonna stop by again tonight, okay? Leave the window open, and 
wear something clingy."

	"KKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIGGGG 
GIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"

	The force of the roar sent Genma staggering backwards, 
spinning and staggering as he did. His head swam... this was 
almost as bad as the disco!

	Soun! Where was Soun? Reaching out with his senses, he 
made a desperate guess and lunged forward, fists flying.

	He felt a punch connect, and then another. With a wild 
battle cry, he unleashed a flurry of punches, kicks, and jabs, 
ending the assault with a vicious throw.

	There was a low moan from somewhere near his feet, and 
then no movement.

	"Heh," Genma said smugly, eyes still screwed slightly 
closed. "That'll teach you, Soun."

	"Kasigi?" Soun's voice said, slightly puzzled. "Exactly 
what was that for?"

	"That was for..." Genma blinked. Why was Soun still able 
to talk? For that matter, what was Soun's voice doing behind 
him?

	"Have you had some disagreement with Kiritsubo-san, 
Kasigi?"

	Genma's eyes shot open. Kiri, a wide-eyed look of 
panicked disbelief on her face, was lying slumped on the 
ground at his feet. Many interesting bumps and bruises were 
beginning to spring to puffy, energetic life.

	"Oh shit," Genma moaned. Kiri was going to be _pissed_ 
when she woke up. If he was very, very lucky, she would only 
beat him to within an inch of his life.

	Slowly, already cringing at the horrible vengence that 
would be coming, Genma turned around. Soun was looking more 
confused than angry... and also a little tired.

	No wonder, he thought hopefully. Summoning up that much 
ki had to be exhausting.

	Once more into the breach...

	With a shout, Genma charged.

	Soun muttered under his breath, clearly trying to work 
himself up. Genma screwed his eyes shut at what seemed to be 
the last second, and braced himself. While this would still 
hurt, Soun's confusion and mild dismay were undoubtably what 
was dominating his mind, not angry indignation.

	The roar of anger blasted against him. Genma staggered a 
bit but kept going, lashing forward with his fists.

	Again, he hit something. Opening his eyes, he got a brief 
glimpse of Soun staggering back, which was enough 
confirmation for him. A barrage of punches and kicks slammed 
into Soun's stationary form.

	Soun made a gurgling noise, moaned, and collapsed.

	Panting, Genma sat down on his unconscious rival. "So 
much for the unbeatable technique."

	Nodoka walked over to him, her face still set in the mask 
of blank terror that the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath tended 
to produce on people. "Y... you actually beat him?"

	He shrugged. "No sweat."

	She managed something like a smile. "I told you you could 
do it if you screwed up your courage."

	Genma winced, glancing over at Kiri's slumbering form. 
"Well, I sure screwed something up, that's for sure."

	"Speaking of which, I'll be sure to wear something clingy 
tonight."

	"Huh? Oh. Uh, you see, what I meant by that was to..."

	"Kasigi-sama!" Genma suddenly found several pounds of 
enthusiastic mist kami embracing him. "You actually defeated 
the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath! Oh, I knew I picked my 
consort well!"

	"CONSORT?! Genma, exactly who is this woman and why 
is she throwing herself on you?"

	He frantically tried to disentangle himself, attempting 
to meet Nodoka's murderous glare with a reassuring grin. 
Somehow, he suspected it looked more sickly that reassuring. 
"Er, ah, Nodoka, this is..."

	"Misuto-no-Kami, Lady of Mists, Empress of Fogs, Hazes, 
Steams, and Waterfalls," Misuto declaimed haughtily. "You may 
worship me, if you like."

	For a horrible second, Genma thought Nodoka was going to 
perform the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath all by herself.

	"I'd sooner worship a dead rat," Nodoka icily replied.

	Misuto looked vaguely offended. "Well. You aren't very 
friendly."

	Stalking over to Genma, Nodoka grabbed him by the collar. 
"Genma and I are going inside now. Right, Genma?"

	"Er... yeah."

	"Goodbye, Kasigi-sama," Misuto said sadly. "I shall no 
doubt see you again before long. Perhaps I can wake up next you 
you once more..."

	"WHAT?"

	"Er, I can explain," Genma said meekly.

	"Good. You can come inside and explain. Yes."

	Misuto watched with interest as a steaming Nodoka 
literally dragged Genma into the dojo. A great deal of shouting 
and screaming soon emerged, followed by the unmistakable 
sound of furniture being used against breakable humans.

	"Oh, what tragedy!" Misuto sadly commented, delicately 
wiping at one eye with a lace handkerchief. Picking up a 
twitching Kiritsubo and tucking her effortlessly under one 
arm, the mist kami started the long walk back to Joe's.

----------------------------------------------------

		I recovered from the beating your mother gave me 
	in about a week. Then Kiri tracked me down, and I was 
	back in the battered pulp category for yet another three 
	weeks.

		So yes, I know something about what it was like 
	for you. I think Akane has a bit more skill at furniture 
	and punch placement than Kiri did, but Kiri had a bit more 
	raw power. And Kiri tended to, er, hit below the belt. 
	Literally AND figuratively.

		Misuto didn't exactly hit it off well with your 
	mother. Only to be expected, I suppose. Later on, of 
	course, they... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

		Oh yes, boy. When you get done reading this, go find 
	Soun. Kneel at his feet. And then thank him repeatedly for 
	never teaching Akane the Righteous Seven Demons Wrath.

		Isn't that just a terrifying thought?