Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Handy-Dandy Table of Contents

The early years
Junior high and high school
My parents
Starting college
My thoughts on magick
The recent past
The Here and Now

The Wonder^H^H^H^H^H^HEarly Years

I was born, and grew up, in Silver Spring, Maryland. My parents never really got along, so I always found it kind of strange when I'd go over to a friend's house for the first time, they'd show me around their house and say "And this is where my parents sleep," and my automatic response would be "Which one?" because my parents slept in separate rooms, and theirs, apparently, didn't. It was too weird.

People Who Meant a Lot to Me Growing Up

I met Chris Guenther and Jared Stern when I was about 7. I met Chris through Little League baseball, and Jared through Camp Blue Devil.

Chris went to CMU with me. He graduated a semester early (rat bastich!), and went back to Maryland. I hope he's happy with what he's doing with his life, and I hope he remembers our frienship and youth as fondly as I do.
Jared went to University of Maryland, and (as far as I can tell) wants to grow up to be some combination of Robin Williams and Howard Stern. He's now producing the morning show for DC 101, a DC radio station, so it sounds like he's well on his way. Everything I know about having a sense of humor, I learned from him. I hope he reads this someday so he knows how much I owe him.

School, or, "I Know My Hall Pass is Around Here Somewhere..."

I've always been pretty smart. That sounds arrogant, but it's not. I don't remember what my IQ was last time it was checked, but suffice it to say I was in Magnet or GT programs from 4th grade until college. In September of 1989, I began my freshman year at the Montgomery Blair High School Math/Science/Computers Magnet Program. I was really scared because Blair had about 2400 people in it. But then I met people, and they introduced me to people, and eventually I had enough friends that I managed to survive high school.

People Who Meant a Lot to Me in Junior High and High School

(this is not a comprehensive list by any stretch of the imagination.)

I met Philip Moyer my sophomore year in Theatre class. He scared me because he was (and still is) even more of a geek than I was (am), but he showed me that everyone has their own viewpoint on things, and if you disregard somebody's on preconceived notions, all you do is diminish your own appreciation.
Aaron Greenhouse started the Poems of the Day. He's at CMU for grad school, which is bonus, because before he got here, I hadn't seen him in something like 3 years.
Sean McCrohan and Mark Langsdorf were best friends when we all got to Blair. Mark had known me for two years already, because we both went to Eastern Intermediate school. We all kept each other laughing, which I desperately needed because Jared didn't go to Blair.
Steve Roth was my survival companion through a good deal of Eastern. We met in 7th grade because we had 6 out of 7 classes together. (All except for 3rd period when he went to Latin and I went to one of Industrial Arts, Art, Music, or Home Economics. Yes, I remember pointless stuff like this.)
J.D. Falk also helped me get through Eastern and Blair. He, and a bunch of his friends like Josh "Joshie" Scott, Brian "Bry" Schruers, and Josh "Peck" Thomson, took me in and gave me a social group to fit into. Thank you guys.
Rebecca Spieler was my first girlfriend. We dated from October to February of 8th grade. My memories of her are fonder, and yet more bittersweet, than any of the memories of anyone else I have ever dated. But then again, that's to be expected of a first girlfriend. Rebecca, I will always love you. If you read this, please get in touch with me.

Never Forgotten, Just Postponed

It was pointed out to me recently that there is a very important group of people that somehow got left off this page. I'm still not sure how this happened. Maybe I just forgot. Maybe some deep-seeded resentment that my conscious mind is unaware of caused me to overlook them.

Or maybe thinking back to how much I depended on them, and what all has happened since I left high school, still hurt too much.

Anyway, I need to put these people on this page, for multiple reasons, included but not limited to:

They were important to me
If I don't, they'll kill me. :-)

These people are, in no particular order:

Margaret Susan "Meg" Smith: Meg is probably the person in my life best suited for the appelation of "high school sweetheart." Our dating history is even more convoluted than normal for me, so I won't try to expound on it here. There was a long time when I thought she hated me, and so I didn't have many friendly feelings for her either. I am happy to say that is no longer the case. Meg, I love you. I always have, and I always will. I pray you never have cause to doubt that again.
Anne Hundzinski: Did we ever date? I don't know. Anne has seen me through more than I ever want to think about. She has been my best friend, my worst enemy, my opposite, my twin, and (now that she's joined A Phi O) my brother. Anne, thank you. I wish I could pay you back in some way for all that you gave and did for me. But a lifedebt like that can never be repaid.
Wyndi Anderson: Again, someone who has been both a good friend and a bitter foe. Wyndi and I dated twice, once after my 10th grade year, and again in the beginning of my senior year. Most people can't believe I'm still on as good terms with her as I am. Sometimes I can't either. Wyndi, I miss you. More than I think either one of us will ever be able of comprehending.

Parents: Can't Live With 'Em, Pass the Beer Nuts...

In 1991, my father decided he's had Just About Enough (TM), and moved out. He drafted me into helping him move out on a weekend that my mother wasn't there, then dropped me back off at the house to deal with her when she got home.

It wasn't a pretty sight. "What happened to my house?!?!" "Dad moved out." "But he took the whole house with him!"

From November of 1991 until August of 1993, I went back and forth between my mother's house and my father's apartment every Sunday night. Whenever I go back to Maryland, I usually end up doing pretty much the same thing. This is part of why I don't like going "home" very much.

My father recently admitted to me that I was conceived and born to be a solution to his and my mother's problems. (The rest he didn't tell me, it's from my own POV.) When it didn't work, my parents realized that at least I could be a weapon to use against each other. Unfortunately (for them), I became too good; I started fighting back. They didn't like that very much. But they kept fighting. And so did I.

This is one area of my life that I had to get through on my own. I don't have any siblings, and none of my friends could really do anything to help anyway, except generally keep me sane, for which I am grateful to all of them. For the most part, it almost worked, too.

College

In August of 1993, I arrived for the second time on the campus of Carnegie Mellon University, in Pittsburgh, PA. (I had visited before to take the campus tour.) As soon as my mother left from driving me here, I felt something. Something I had never felt before.

I was home. I was where I was supposed to be.

Over the first semester, I met a bunch of people who all seemed to be in something called "A Phi O." Turns out A Phi O, or Alpha Phi Omega, is a National Co-Ed Service Fraternity. Despite my promise to myself that I would nevereverever join a fraternity, I pledged the next semester. My advice to other people: When you learn about A Phi O, forget everything you've ever heard about frats. APO is different.

Second semester I found out that the world is not what we all take for granted that it is. But that's next...

People Who Mean a Lot to Me in College

Check out this page. Everyone who's on there goes here too. Don't worry about the "portals" garbage; that's just there for ambiance.

Magick, or, "Hey, You Shouldn't Be Able to Do That..."

Something happened to me second semester, freshman year. (Then again, I've noticed that a lot of people seem to go through severe changes during the second semester of their freshman year.) A group of my friends (who, for any desires of anonymity that any of them may have, shall remain nameless here) opened my eyes and showed me that magick, something I thought was the domain of fantasy novels and one ex-girlfriend who I had thought was crazy, was real. That's how I became a fire/lightning mage.

Some people may look at this and say "Why is this section so vague? How can you write so little about something as amazing as magick?" Well, magick isn't something that can be easily explained. Get in touch with me if you really want to know more.

As is consistent with my upbringing, my forte is combat. I'm not an empath. Sometimes I wish I were, but then again, I've got enough pain; I don't need to feel anyone else's, thanks.

Middle College-Years Syndrome

Most of sophomore year is now a blur. Not because of alcohol or drugs or anything (none of which I do, thank you very much), but most of it was either too weird or too painful, so I blocked it out. I dated Deanna on and off for a good deal of sophomore year.

Near the end of sophomore year, Deanna and I broke up (for the third time), and I found Erin Childs. Erin and I were together from April 1995 until April 1997, and again from August 1997 until April 1999. I'm not going to talk about why we broke up, because there used to be a whole big section about it, and if you missed it, well then mail me and I'll explain it if you really want.

I started out my junior year living with a freshman. My good friend and brother (in more ways than one) Ben lived in the other side of the suite with another freshman. Neither of us got along with our roommates, so I switched with his roommate and the rest of the year passed copacetically.

The Daily Feed

Most of my recent rantings are avaialble in my LiveJournal, but in order to get the really juicy entries, you'll have to get your own account. And no, I don't have any codes to give out. Once you get your own journal, drop me a line and let me know what your username is, and I may add you to my Friends list so you can see my semi-private entries. No promises, though.

-Sincerely,
Trevor Schadt

Anything past that is the future, and so does not belong on this page.

Trevor W. Schadt, owaru@myfamily.org