R1/2 -- Nigel M. & RpM-acct2/5 ============= *COMMERCIAL* <> RpM: I wanna watch anime! Nigel: I wanna watch basketball! Together: Hey, LET'S WATCH BOTH!!! <> = IT'S PART II OF "EIGHT DAYS A WEEK" = ========================================================== Ranma 1/2: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK story concept: Nigel M. written by: Nigel M. fluff written(barely) by: RpM edited (unsatisfactorily) by: RpM ========================================================== Oh great Megazone! You who free the newsgroup from utter crap and spammage. You who doles out various amusing fanfiction in moderate amounts! Thy management of the newsgroup is legendary indeed! And thus we do give it up for THE HARDEST WORKIN' MAN IN R.A.A.S. *WOOF*WOOF*WOOF* %) in other words, sorry about the mess with those revisions.... -- the writers down at "M productions" ------------------------ Author's Note: *WHIP*Please! *WHIP* No more! I finished it see! (sob)(sob)! WHAT DO YOU MEAN GET STARTED ON PART THREE!?!! *WHIP* OWW! *WHIP* KNOCK IT OFF! Seriously though... "*This means they're talking in another language. Like english or something. Otherwise, they're speaking in Japanese.*" ------------------------------------- I'd just like everybody to know that I've just bought "How to Make Out in Japanese". -the editor p.s. I seem to have misplaced my Editor's whip..... ------------------------------------- author's p.s. Sorry about this folks, I was reading through this part and I noticed a few glaring errors. If you didn't mind, ignore this. The story didn't change. Anyway, here's the CORRECTED version of 'EIGHT DAYS A WEEK'. p.p.s. Didn't I tell you he was a lousy editor? ---------- *grumble*grumble*sosueme.... -the editor /8^( ============= *COMMERCIAL* SUNDAY!!! SUNDAY!!! SUNDAY!!! M PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS: PART II: SUNDAY BEST ================================ ========SHOOTING HOOPS========= ================================ "Whoa! What happened here?" Ranma, Akane and Nabiki stood in front of Isamu's house. Construction people were hustling and bustling at the side of the house, busily repairing what looked like a hole created by setting off say, a grenade. The three shrugged it off and walked up to the door. "Yo, Isamu," Ranma knocked. "You in there?" The door opened to reveal a rather bleary-eyed Isamu. "*Whu-? Oh, hi guys. Come on in. I'll be drssed in a sec.*" They all stared at him. "*What?*" "You're talking English, man." Ranma said, taking off his shoes and walking in behind Isamu, followed by Akane and Nabiki. "I mean, we understand it and everything..." "Oh! Sorry," he smiled weakly. "Jet lag, first day here." Isamu sat them down in the living room and walked into the kitchen. Nabiki and the others were impressed by his living space. When the Tanakas had lived in the place, it felt like an average home. Apparently, if you put one person in a house designed for about eleven people it made a dramatic difference. The house felt big, even grand. Isamu had nice, soft leather furniture and had his home enternainment center all set up already. "Nice place you got here," Nabiki called. "Yeah? Thanks!" He called back from the kitchen. "Breakfast anyone?" "It's eleven o'clock, man." Ranma replied, switching on the tv. He noticed the unusual amount of utterly useless channels. "Satellite. Cool!" he muttered quietly to himself. "Not for me," Isamu said, walking in from the kitchen with a sandwich and a can of Coke in hand. "It's seven o'clock p.m. as far as I'm concerned." He said, looking at his watch. "So why were you asleep?" Akane asked, as Ranma channel surfed. "I dunno. Maybe because I ate so much?" Akane smiled. Her cooking had never satisfied anybody to sleep before. To a coma, yes, but to actual blissful sleep? This was the first time. "Ooh, stop here!" Isamu said excitedly. Ranma stopped flipping channels. So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clapclapclapclap) "What's this?" Nabiki asked. Your life's a joke you're broke your lovelife's DOA "Friends. Great tv show." Seems like you're always stuck in second gear "Wow, they're cute!" If it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year Everyone looked at Akane. I'll be there for you (when the rain starts to fall) I'll be there for you ('cause I've been there before) "What? I can't say I think some guys are cute?" She asked testily. Isamu smiled and sat besides Nabiki. I'll be there for you 'cause you there for me tooooo ------------------------------- The youth center was fairly abuzz with activity. It was an off-day afterall, so many kids were playing or just hanging around. Isamu walked in wearing a red Houston Rocket #25 jersey, followed by Ranma, Akane and Nabiki. A fair number of the people in the center knew Ranma and company so they were greeted warmly from every direction. Isamu proved to be quite popular with the girls, many of them urging Ranma and the sisters to introduce them. Ranma was slightly miffed with the attention Isamu was getting, he was usually on the receiving end of such adoration. When a basketball court was finally available, Ranma and Isamu headed for it. They were followed by an impromptu entourage of female fans. To Nabiki's ire, they seemed to be all Isamu's. Isamu pulled out the ball from the bag he was carrying. "We seem to have gathered an audience," he observed. "Then let's give 'em a show," Ranma replied. "I should warn you, I ain't ever lost a basketball game in my life." "Funny," Isamu said as he dribbled the ball. "Neither have I. Winner gets outs?" "Huh?" "Make the shot, you get the ball back." "Oh, I knew that. Ok, your ball, let's go." Isamu dribbled at the perimeter, walking slowly towards the paint. Ranma was waiting for him at the free throw line. Suddenly, Isamu broke into a run. He faked left, Ranma covered him, then spun right, catching Ranma flatfooted. Isamu drove down the lane, jumped, spun and dunked. The crowd applauded. "Truly I am great, that even my striding garners applause." Everyone turned to the back of the room. Kuno stood there, posing, then proceeded to trip on someones foot. Akane groaned and shook her head. "They weren't clapping for you Kuno-chan," Nabiki said smugly. "But what else is there to applaud?" Nabiki pointed at the two players. They had ignored Kuno and resumed playing. "That game? Childsplay!" With that, he proceeded to march towards the players. As Ranma took a shot, Kuno jumped up and hit the ball with his bokken, making Ranma miss. "Hey! Whatcha do that for?" "You evil sorcerers are no match for the great Tatewaki Kuno!" "You want to play?" Isamu asked. "Why didn't you say so? But you need a partner." "The Blue Thunder has no need of partners!" "Well you can't play both of us," Ranma retorted. "Ranma, you animal!" Ryoga raged, as he jumped down from the rafters, barely missing Ranma. "Hey! Watch it!" "Ranma, DIE!" Mousse shouted, as he hammered Isamu to the floor. "Didn't we do this yesterday?" Isamu said dazedly. Mousse hefted him up and shook him angrily. "Ranma, for the suffering you have caused..." "Look, pal. I'M NOT RANMA!!!" Isamu yelled in his face. Ranma looked at Mousse. Something didn't look right. Glasses? No. New dress? No. Aha! "Nice wig, Mousse!" He shouted out loud. Mousse froze. "Grrr.." He threw Isamu aside and fumbled for his glasses. "Ranma! So there you are, coward!!" With that, he unsheathed ten naginatas from his sleeves and charged. Ryoga grabbed Ranma while the latter was talking to Mousse and reared back, ready to give the mother of all punches. "Ranma...DIE!!!" "Akane, my love!" Kuno crooned as he approached the Tendo sisters. "I-- Unhand him!" he shouted, noticing Ranma's plight. "He shall be defeated by _my_ hand!" He shouted as he charged towards them. Nabiki looked as her sister made her mallet disappear. Akane turned to her and winked. "You got lucky today, Kuno-chan." Nabiki grinned to herself. Nabiki watched Isamu fumble in his bag as Ranma got closer to getting his anatomy rearranged in various painful and interesting ways. What was Isamu doing? He threw a... a.. a pill? He threw a pill at them. The pill exploded. Smoke engulfed Ranma and his attackers and quickly dissipated. ----------------------------------------------- UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS Case #_221025_ transferred to: X-files division. Federal Agent(s): Fox Mulder, Dana Scully X-FILES CASE #342345- From the reports of Federal Agent Dana Scully Within the last ten years, 12 American tourists have been reported missing by their families numerous times. The tourists always seem to reappear, but with very vague answers when questioned by their families. The similarities in these cases are hard to explain. Although booking tours with different companies, all visited Beijing, the Great Wall, the Imperial Palace, and a place called Jusenkyo. Upon their return all the subjects exhibited behavior not characteristic to them. They became irritable and very depressed. All subject acquired pets immediately after arrival. These varied from simple cats and dogs to an exotic panda, a snake and a turtle. The animals were all procured without the knowledge of their respective families. Furthermore, financial investigations show no money withdrawn to pay for these pets. Agent Mulder uncovered a fanciful text which points to Jusenkyo as the source of our mystery. Apparently, Jusenkyo is touted as the Land of Accursed Springs, boasting that its thousand plus springs each contain a magical curse. I would have dismissed this as my partner grasping for straws until he pointed out what the springs are allegedly able to do. The springs supposedly turn people into the species that had drowned there (i.e. if a dog drowned in one spring then the next person that falls in that spring turns into a canine, etc.). Agent Mulder is certain that all the tourist were in fact, 'cursed' and that the animals that they bought are actually their 'cursed' forms. I am very doubtful of the substance of this claim. The most logical conclusions would suggest the activities of an animal smuggling syndicate, although if this is the case, they are going about this in an extremely inefficient manner. Nevertheless, it is the closest lead our investigation has. Our flight to China will not be for another six hours. In the meantime, agent Mulder and I will try to unearth more information about Jusenkyo. ---------------------------------------------------- Ryoga's fist was frozen inches from Ranma's paralyzed face, while Mousse had stiffened up and toppled over from the weight of his weapons. Kuno was frozen with a stupid look on his face. Isamu looked at his handiwork as the two Tendo sisters approached him. "Where did you get a paralyzing pill?" Nabiki asked him as Akane walked over and knocked on Ranma's head a few times. "The girl with the gymnastic stuff er, Kolachi? She dropped it. I recognized it because, well, it's a long story." "Quit it akane!" Ranma mumbled through frozen lips. "I'm not a door, y'know!" "That's KoDAchi. Well, at least you stopped them from beating up on Ranma." "Nihao!" Shampoo walked in, looking slightly haggard, but cheery nonetheless. "Why Ranma not moving?" "I used a paralysis pill on them." "They were about to pound Ranma to the ground." Nabiki added helpfully. "They'll snap out of it in a few minutes." He assured her. Shampoo nodded and walked off towards the concession stand, shivered, then headed towards the ladies room instead. When she walked out a few minutes later, Isamu was explaining the situation to the newly arrived Ukyo and Kodachi. "...and I'm sorry I had to use your pill." Isamu finished. "That's quite alright," Kodachi replied. "Ranma darling's quite used to it by now." "You know," Isamu said, glancing at Ranma, who was glaring at Ryoga, Kuno and Mousse. Who were all glaring back at him. "We have enough people for a game of five-on-five basketball." "How do you figure that?" Ranma asked, breaking his glaring contest. "Well there's you, me, Ryoga, Mousse, Tatewaki, Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyo, Nabiki, and Akane." He said, pointing to each one in turn. "That is, if no one has any objections?" "Sorry," Nabiki apologized. "I don't do basketball." No one else objected. Akane thought it would be fun. The other fiancees thought about being close to Ranma. Kuno, Mousse and Ryoga thought about stomping Ranma into the ground, within the context of the game, of course. Everyone just smiled and nodded. "Ok," Isamu continued. "We need one more player. Do you see anybody?" Everyone looked around. There was a bunch of people milling around the other basketball courts. Ranma approached a group several courts down from them. The center, a lanky 7-footer, shaked left, baked right, then swished a fade-away shot. "*Nice shot, Dream!*" His teammate complemented. "*Good team effort!*" He grinned back. He looked at #27 who tried to guard him. He was shaking his head and smiling. "*Don't feel bad, Charles.*" "Excuse me? Excuse me! Number thirty-four!" Ranma waved his hands. "*Hey, Dream!*" #10, a weird looking wiry guy called. "*I think homey's talking to you.*" The man called Dream walked over to Ranma. "*Can I help you?*" "*I.. um, wondering if you* what's the word? *play for us.*" Ranma stuttered in broken English, pointing to his group. "*Sorry, I'm practicing with my team.*" Dream shook his head. "We've got to defend our championship you know." "*You champions? Really?*" "*Yes. For the last two years.*" "*Cool. Thanks anyway,*" Ranma said as Dream walked away. "*Nice uniforms by the way.*" "*Really? Thanks! It's new.*" "Well?" Akane asked impatiently as Ranma walked towards them. *klik* Ranma shook his head. "They had their own game going." *klik* "We can't play with nine people." Isamu grumbled. *klik* "What is clicking?" Shampoo asked. Everyone looked around. After a moment, Ranma walked over to the stands and pulled out Gosunkugi by the scruff of his neck. "Hey, Gos," Ranma said conversationally. "Whatcha doin'?" "Err, um, nothing! Nothing at all, Saotome!" Gosunkugi said, stuffing something into his jacket. "So your doin' nothin' with this camera, huh?" He said, yanking it out of Gosunkugi's jacket. "Who's this?" Isamu asked, walking over. "Hikaru Gosunkugi," Ranma introduced. "Local spooky guy. Big crush on the tomboy," he pointed, immediately earning him a wallop from Akane. "No," Isamu disagreed, putting an arm around the bewildered Gosunkugi. "He's Hikaru Gosunkugi, our last player." "Huh?" Both Gosunkugi and Ranma startled. "Can you play basketball?" Isamu asked. "N-" Gosunkugi started. "Before you answer," Isamu interrupted. "I'd like to remind you that Akane's playing." "-aturally!" Gosunkugi finished. Gosunkugi was ecstatic! Never mind that he probably wouldn't make it off the court alive! He was going to be near Akane! "Ok, now let's pick team captains," Isamu said. "Ranma and-" "_I_, the great Tatewaki Kuno, shall be captain!" Kuno burst out, shoving Ryoga out of his way. "For what better man to lead a team to victory more than I, the undisputed champion of the high school kendo circuit? For four years have I easily bested the best, my prowess is-" "Fine, fine. Kuno'll be captain too." Isamu complied. "Ok, I'll pick first." Ranma said. "No! By reason of my legendary status, I shall pick first." Kuno demanded. "Shampoo not care who pick first," Shampoo said, glomping onto Ranma's arm. "Shampoo on Ranma's team." "I'm sorry, brother dear. But I must also pledge allegiance to Ranma darling!" Kodachi swooned, grabbing Ranma's other arm. "Great," Akane mumbled. "Whichever team I end up in will have a pervert for a captain." "I heard that!" Ranma yelled, trying to shake off Kodachi and Shampoo. "Good!" "Bloody naff," Isamu slapped his forehead. "Naff?" asked Nabiki. ----------------------------- In the dark, dank, yet very efficient sewers of Japan lurks...... THE OKONOMIYAKI-MONSTER!!! The flesh things, it thought (although it was still new to this "thinking"), didn't want it to be with it's mommy. They must have done something to her, because she ran from it the moment it sensed (for it never really did have any of the senses we do) her. A disturbing thought hit it, what if that wasn't its mommy? But no, it thought, what else could she be? The monster oozed through the sewers and up into a home. It sensed sustenance. There was a flesh thing here too but the monster was quite weak, and had sloughed off what passed for the fear center of its brain so it was not afraid. ---------------------- Sasuke locked the door. He checked one more time. His master and mistress were off on a mission and said that they wouldn't be back until much, much later. If the Kunos knew he watched these kinds of tapes in their house he knew they would evict him, maybe even force him to commit seppuku. He looked guiltily around one more time, and then put in the tape. ------------------- The monster had feasted on Kodachi's vast variety of vegetation. Satiated, it wandered the endless corridors of the Kuno Mansion. Because of the rather eclectic diet Kodachi's plants had provided it, to its own surprise, it no longer was losing parts of itself when it moved. It sensed the presence of the flesh thing, it was very close. Its curiosity piqued, the creature oozed, no, wobbled in a rather awkward way, menacingly towards the unsuspecting flesh thing. ----------------- "Youta you fool," Sasuke sniffed. "Can't you see Ai-chan loves you? (sniff, sniff)" The monster watched, fascinated. The flesh things were able to flatten themselves into the wall. Amazing. <> <<>> "(sniff, sniff) I don't think my poor heart can bear this," Sasuke sniffed, opening a new box of tissue. <<<>> "YOU'RE A JERK, MAN! A JERK!" Sasuke shouted at the screen. "Why do you treat her like that, huh? Huh?!" The okonomiyaki monster walked away. While watching, it discovered the amazing ability to copy the flat flesh thing on the screen. It also remembered that most flesh things it saw were not flat, so it had filled out the third dimension. 'Nimaii-kun' walked out the front door, giving this balancing on drumsticks a try. He wanted his mommy. -------------------- Everybody started yelling at each other. Kuno got mad because nobody seemed to want to join his team. Ryoga got mad because Mousse called him Shampoo. Shampoo got mad because Mousse called Ryoga Shampoo. Akane was already mad because Ranma wouldn't let go of Kodachi and Shampoo. Ranma was mad because Shampoo and Kodachi wouldn't let go of him. Isamu was mad because they weren't playing basketball. Isamu pulled a TV/VCR out of his bag, surprising everybody. Two hours and a Barney marathon later, Isamu and Nabiki had gotten everybody into two teams. "Don't you think you went a little bit overboard?" Nabiki asked. "Do you think they would have agreed any other way?" Isamu said wearily. "No, but that show..." Nabiki shuddered, leaving the thought unfinished. Images of a retarded, polyester, purple dinosaur swam in her head. "Ok, so me, Akane, Shampoo, and Mousse are on Ranma's team and everyone else is in Kuno's." No one said a word, though a few occasionally mumbled, "i love you, you love me....", "Americans _like_ that show?" and "Mine senses reel from such disgusting imagery." The crowd took one look at the lineups and immediately dubbed Ranma's team Team Saotome and Kuno's Team Psychopath. Ukyo was deeply offended by this, but she saw that she was the only one who was actually remotely in mental balance. With all the complications over, or at least temporarily put aside, the game was afoot. At first, it went along smoothly with a lot of pretty dunks and lay-ups, which came _way_ too easily to most everyone, Isamu thought. If anybody was taping, which Nabiki was, there would have been a lot of highlight film. There was the alley-oop from Isamu to Ranma, Ryoga's strong, baseline slam dunk on Mousse and Ranma. Surprisingly, Kuno showed a proficiency for blocking, stuffing most of Mousse and Isamu's shots. Shampoo was a strong post-up player, able to muscle her way in for the turn around. Akane, well, let's just say if anyone in the crowd didn't know her they would ask, "Who's that? Y'know, the one with the elbows." The half ended at Team Saotome leading Team Psychopath 52-50. Nabiki moved in towards the Team Saotome half-time huddle with her video cam for close-ups. This tape should sell well, she thought, there's enough sweaty flesh out there to fill out a Sports Illustrated issue. Ooh, Isamu's got a cute butt. "Okay," Ranma wiped the sweat from his face. "We're doing a great job so far," he said splashing himself with cold water. "Except that damn Kuno keeps blocking... what?" "Sorry," Isamu stopped staring. "I can't get used to that." "Huh?" Ranma-chan said eloquently. "Oh, the change thing. You'll get used to it." "Either way, he's still a pervert," Akane said to Isamu. Nabiki walked over to videotape Team Psychopath's huddle as Ranma and Akane started shouting at each other. "Truly you are sorry lot," Kuno reprimanded. "You must work harder, if you hope to stay on the team of the great and mighty Tatewaki Kuno. Persevere! Lowly dogs-" "Ah-hem." "-excluding you of course, dear sister. Your defense can be penetrated by even the slowest of slugs! Indeed I, the great and noble Tatewaki Kuno, am the one and only reason that we are at a striking distance from the evil Ranma Saotome! Saotome! How that name fills me with an anger all the rain in the world cannot quench! If I were a great and mighty volcano, I would surely have erupted long ago." "Shut up!" Ryoga growled. "I'm the one who's doing the scoring on this team!" "And what about _my_ 3 pointers?" Kodachi demanded. "Are my efforts unappreciated?" "I'd appreciate it even more if you didn't keep passing the ball to Ranma," Ryoga grumbled. "C'mon, guys," Ukyo chimed. "It's just a game." "Can I make a suggestion?" Gosunkugi chirped, who surprisingly, was quite adept at stealing the ball. "No!" Everyone replied sharply. "Ok." The second half started. Unfortunately, unlike the first half, this was far from normal basketball. "Pig-tailed girl!" Kuno burst out. "How cruel is fate, that she might pit you against the great Tatewaki Kuno! No! Tis not fate which is cruel, but the dark sorcerer, Ranma Saotome!" "You!" Kodachi shouted. "Harlot! What did you do with my Ranma darling?" Shampoo rolled her eyes. "And Shampoo thought purple, gaijin dinosaur was stupid." Akane looked at Ranma angrily. "You idiot!" She fumed. "How are we going to explain this to those two?" "Just a minor substitution," Isamu said, thinking quickly. "Let's get started, shall we?" Kodachi and Kuno were about to argue when Isamu started whistling the Barney theme song. They immediately clamped their mouths shut, they didn't want another dose of that. Gosunkugi got an early steal from Shampoo. He passed it quickly down court to Ukyo who threw it to Ryoga for a strong slam dunk. "Alright!" Ukyo shouted, giving Ryoga a high five. "Yeah!" Ryoga shouted, as he ran back on the defense. "Eat that Ranma! Your team sucks!" "Hey!" "Except you, Akane!" Ryoga amended quickly. The tension on the court had risen considerably. Ryoga was constantly hacking Ranma, while Kodachi mallet-slammed her every so often. "How many times do I have to tell you?" Ranma shouted, rubbing his head. "THERE'S NO WEAPONS IN BASKETBALL!!!!" Kuno was making Akane furious, because every time she had the ball, he would clear out everyone, including his teammates, from her path and offer her the basket. Ranma had her hands full, trying to ward off not only the other team, but her teammates as well. "Look, Mousse," Ranma said, frustrated as she passed the ball to Isamu and ducking to avoid Mousse's fist. "Can you avenge your baldness later? Besides, your wig is off kilter." She wagged her tongue as she avoided Mousse's swings once again. A few possessions later, with the score tied at 60, Ranma tried to go for a drive, but Kuno was waiting for her under the basket. They met in the air, Ranma protected the ball. Unfortunately, Kuno wasn't grabbing for the ball. "My Goddess- urgkh!" Kuno said, slipping off Ranma's fist and letting go of Ranma-chan's chest. "How dare you!" Kodachi bristled, stomping towards Ranma. "Not only did you steal my Ranma darling's name and heart, but you _dare_ hurt my brother dear?" "Hey!" Ranma snapped back. "He touched ME!" "Time out!" Akane shouted and dragged a fuming mad Ranma to their huddle. "No more Mr. Nice Guy!" Ranma shouted, grabbing the kettle she had been heating for the last few minutes and dumping it on herse... himself. Unfortunately for him, everyone else had the same idea. The effects of the brainwashing was wearing off and most everybody was getting their weapons ready. The teams got on the court. "Saotome! Again you face the might-" "SHUT UP!" Everybody else shouted. Mousse inbounded to Ranma. Mousse grinned. He had switched basketballs and had passed a basketball bomb at Ranma. Ranma being the ballhog that he is, he thought, he'll still be holding it when it goes off. Mousse laughed maniacally. Revenge! Revenge!! Mousse looked around. Everyone was staring at him. "What? Haven't you ever seen anyone burst into maniacal laughter with no reason whatsoever before?" He demanded. Ranma shrugged and passed him the ball. Before it reached Mousse's hand, Gos intercepted it. He passed it to Kodachi who threw it up at the three-point line. Kodachi missed and Ranma got the rebound. Ranma ran down the court, but Kodachi used a ribbon to trip up Ranma. "Foul! Foul!" Isamu called frantically. "Hey, combat basketball's fine by me." Ranma said, grinning evily. He pulled hard on the ribbon, making it taut, and tripping up Ryoga in the process. The fuse continued to burn. The ball sailed up in the air, Mousse used a chain to reel the loose ball in and passed it to Ranma again. Ranma was being blanketed by Kuno so he passed it to Isamu who was slapped hard by Ryoga. He managed to pass it to Mousse but Kuno swiped at it with his bokken, knocking the ball, and Mousse's wig, loose. Isamu popped Ryoga for hand checking him. Ryoga shrugged and kicked him in the head. Isamu dragged himself over to the sideline where Nabiki was filming. "Bloody naffin' hell! There's no way in hell this game'll finish will it?" He asked her testily. "Oh, it'll finish alright." She replied, watching. "Fine," Isamu said, pulling two escrima sticks from his bag. "Giant chopsticks?" Nabiki asked innocently. "Bloody right! I mean, no!" Isamu said. He gave up on trying to explain what he meant to Nabiki and waded back into the game. The fuse burned on.... "Katsu tenshin amagurikeennnn!" Ranma shouted as he tried to grab the ball from Ryoga. Ryoga turned his back and shielded the ball. He spotted Ukyo open and threw the ball at her, just as Isamu brought both sticks down on his head. Ukyo brought out her spatula and hit the ball to Gosunkugi, who immediately got hit by Shampoo's bonbori. Before he was hit, Gosunkugi was able to throw it to Kodachi for the three. 85-80, Team Psychopath. Akane inbounded to Ranma who threw it to Shampoo who was going strong to the hole, mainly because she was leading with her bonbori. She went for the lay-up but was blocked by Kodachi's pin. Akane threw some elbows and got the rebound and the putback. 90-90. Kuno had the ball and charged towards the basket. In a rare display of intellect he passed it out when they closed the lane on him. Mousse intercepted the ball as the fuse finally ran out. A massive explosion rocked him bald and knocked the original ball loose from his sleeve. "What the bloody hell happened to him?" Isamu asked Ukyo as he picked her up. Away from the ball... "Ranma, " Akane said, burying her fist into Ranma's skull. "You're suppose to guard the other team, NOT your own teammate!" Shampoo was hugging Ranma fiercely, rubbing her head to his chest. Back to the game... "Beats me," Ukyo replied, looking for an open man (teammate, you know what I mean. If I was a normal sexist guy the girls wouldn't even be playing, ok? OK!? ok.) "I think one of those thingies in his sleeve blew up. At least he didn't damage the ball," she said as she shot it over him. 102-100. Team Psycho. Team Psycho ran an isolation play for Kuno. Isamu picked him up, getting his sticks ready. Kuno dribbled the ball with his left hand and leveled his bokken at his opponent. "So, foul sorcerer! You have chosen to do battle with the great and magic-immune Tatewaki Kuno!" Kuno expounded, slapping one of Isamu's sticks with his sword. "Sorce as you will!!" "Sorce?" Isamu asked, trying to steal the ball. "What the bloody hell is sorce?" "Sorce: the term used when a magician sorcerates." Kuno smiled, talking clinically. "Do you not have proper education as to be ignorant of such simple terms?" "That's it!" Isamu growled. "None may cast asperations upon my intellect without dire repercussions!" "Foul doer of ebon mysticism! Have at thee!" Kuno passed the rock and charged. "THE BLUE THUNDER STRIKES!" "THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!!" Gosunkugi had the misfortune of receiving the ball, immediately becoming the target of a large number of people. Early in the second half he found out that when Kodachi wanted the ball, you better get it to her. Team Saotome, with the exception of Isamu who was trading hits and tirades with Kuno, lunged at him. Gosunkugi saw Ukyo zooming towards the basket and threw the ball like a hot potato. Unfortunately, Team Saotome flattened him anyway. Ukyo sprinted for the ball but Gosunkugi threw it too far in front of her. She whipped out her spatula and used it to slap the ball up and in. The action was getting more intense, more frenzied. Gosunkugi slinked away quietly, wishing not to be a part of it anymore. They weren't even playing combat basketball really, It was more like thinly-veiled muggings. Using the basketball as the thin veil. Shampoo presently had the ball, but it was knocked out of her hands and a mad scramble for the ball erupted. Ranma came up with it, but he tripped and fell to the ground. Kuno towered over him, pointed his bokken at his throat. "Saotome, do not give me an excuse for an action which I shall have infinite enjoyment in enacting." Kuno said smirking. "Huh?" "Give me the ball." "Let him up." Isamu said, wrapping both sticks around Kuno's neck. "Let my brother-dear go." Kodachi said, aiming her spiked club at his head and wrapping her ribbon around his neck. "Isamu's a friend of the family's, so hands off." Akane said, poising her mallet to strike. "Akane Tendo, I would deeply regret hurting you, but if it will result in Ranma's demise then I shall." Mousse said, holding a potty trainer high above his head. "If Mousse get husband killed. Then Shampoo turn stupid Mousse into Peking duck!" Shampoo said, jabbing her sword into his back for emphasis and holding her bonbori in position. "But is ok if Mousse hit Akane, though." "Oh, man. This is rich!" Nabiki laughed as she videotaped the scene. "Actually, this'll probably make me rich!" Such action, comedy, drama, alright, there wasn't alot of drama, but there sure was alot of action and comedy. She can already see where this was going. She zoomed in on Ryoga, who looked absolutely confused. He looked like he didn't know where his loyalty would be. Finally, he walked up to the end of the line, got his speech ready, and aimed his umbrella at Shampoo's back. "Make Mousse let Akane go," he started. "Then everyone else back off. Ranma's _mine_!" Ukyo, who had sensibly walked away from this, came back from the concession stand and sat by Nabiki. "Your boyfriend might get hurt out there," she said, licking her ice cream. "Isamu can take care of himself," Nabiki replied. "And he's not my boyfriend." Everyone looked at him. The crowd, who stayed for the whole event because a) it was fun to watch b)it was free and c) they wanted to place their orders to Nabiki early and avoid the rush, hushed even more than before. Nabiki panned back, to show the whole scene. Everyone on the court thought about Ryoga's suggestion. Then they thought about it some more. "NO!!" "Fine!" He shouted. "Akane look out! BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSUUU!!!" -------------------------------- "Bloody hell! Bloody hell! Bloody naffin' hell!" Nabiki looked at her walking-buddy. Isamu had a lot of bruises on him, some new, some old, but otherwise he was ok. Ranma and Akane walked a little bit behind them, embroiled in another heated lover's quarrel. "What?" She asked him. "I can't believe what you people get up to here!" He said, shielding his eyes from the setting sun. "I mean, here I was just wanting to play a bit of bloody one-on-one basketball with Ranma over there, and we end up trashing the whole naffin' place!" "Well, you just have to get used to it." She smiled. "This was a relatively quiet day for us, actually." He stared at her, then chuckled. Nabiki hummed the Friends theme song as she counted the money she got from the pre-orders as they walked. "You liked that show, huh?" He asked, rubbing his sore neck. "It's nice," she agreed. "Akane seemed to like it even better," he said, looking back at them. He winced as his movement cause a spasm in his back. "I won't survive the bloody week at this rate." He rubbed his back. "Oh, man! And it's a school day tomorrow!" "Yeah, well... Y'know, I thought I had you all figured out." Nabiki said, putting on her sunglasses. "Yeah?" "Yeah. Then you come up with an entirely new speech pattern." "Oh, you mean all the 'bloody' and 'naff' and all that," he said, wiping his forehead. "British neighbor back in the States. Elizabeth Braddock." "So what does 'naff' mean, then?" she asked. "Beats me. Ah, let's stop here a moment." "Why do you want to stop at a sign shop?" Nabiki asked. "I owe someone a sign." he said, opening the front door. He turned and smiled. "Y'know what? I can't wait to see you in uniform." ---------------------------------- "SSSAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSUUUUUUUKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Kodachi was not mad. She was MAD. Kodachi was not angry. She was enraged. Kodachi was not seeing red. She was seeing ULTRA-VIOLENT. This was not a good day to be Sasuke. But then again, when would be? ----------------------------------- "Stupid Mousse!" "Please, Shampoo!" He pleaded as they headed back to the Nekohanten. "I wanted to do it for you!" "Stupid Mousse!" "Please go out with me Shampoo!" He said, conciously fiddling with his wig. "Stupid Mousse!" "Ryoga's blast knocked me down before I could hurt Akane," he lied. "Stupid Mousse!" "M-my n-n-name is N-N-Nimaii-kun," 'Nimaii' said, stepping out of the alley. "W-will y-you g-go out with m-me?" "Nihao!" Shampoo said dreamily. "Him cute!" 'Nimaii-kun' copied the face gestures he saw on the wall, the 'smile'. Mommy made the gesture back. =============================================================== ========NEXT: STRANGE DAYS =Eight Days A Week-Part-III============= =============================================================== WHY'D YOU DO IT MAN? As you can tell, part 2 ain't nearly as long as part 1 was. It really didn't have much emotional significance either. That's the point. It's just plain ol' fun. Tell you the truth, part 2 wasn't even part of the plot. The okonomiyaki monster is back! Better than ever! Don't ask me how I thought of turning it into Nimaii-kun. Little itsy-bitsy voices in my head. Poor, poor Sasuke. HUH? Nimaii-kun, Motenuchi-kun, Ai-chan and Moemi-chan are characters from Video Girl Ai. Nimaii-kun is a lady-killer. Moemi is the lady killed. Motenuchi is in love with the dead lady. Ai is a supernatural hologram/guardian angel /companion/therapist who, though is made not to fall in love, does with the necromantic. Er, just rent it! CAMEOS X-Files- Hah! Betcha didn't see _that_ coming! X-men- No, really. There's an X-men reference here The World Champion Houston Rockets- Great team. BAD uniforms. Video Girl Ai- Isn't she adorable? THE SOUNDTRACK I'm stealing the idea of giving a fanfic a soundtrack from many writers before me. You know who you are, and I thank you. JADE- from the Macross Plus Volume II Soundtrack. Fits to a T. SHOOTING HOOPS- by G Love and Special sauce from 'G Love and Special Sauce' cd. SPECIAL REQUEST Can someone with spare videotape out there send a copy of Street Fighter the Series? ---------------------------------------