The sun rose on yet another sunny Nerima Friday.  The birds
chirped.  Across the neighborhood, citizens began to scurry in the
daily rat race that was Modern Life. 

                          ========================
                          The Pursuit Of Happiness
                                    Act 1
                                   Part 8
                              Vengence of Noori
                              =================

   In front of Furinkan High School, a team of Kendoists stood in the
yard, stretching and warming up in preperation for the day's events. 
Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of them all, giving ranting speeches of
inspiration. 

   In Ucchans, Ukyou was up bright and early for the breakfast crowd. 
The morning hours were brief, short enough for her to close down and
leave for school a half hour before it started.  The profit from the
breakfast crowd made the early hours worth it. 

   Meanwhile, at the Tendo residence, Akane stomped upstairs to awaken
her beloved. 

   "WAKE UP, STUPID!!!"  The echo of Akane's booming wake-up call
rattled the house.  Normally, this would manage to get Ranma jumping
out of bed.  Instead, he opened up one bleary eye and groaned. 

   "Aaaw... not s'loud, Akane," mumbled Ranma

   "Ranma?  Are you okay?"  Akane knelt down next to him and put a
hand to his forehead.  "You don't look so great." 

   "Don'feel so great," he grumbled.  His head was throbbing, he was
sweating more than usual, and he had an incredible headache. 

   "Oh no..."  Akane wiped Ranma's brow in an attempt to soothe him. 
It was working fabulously.  "I think we'd better call Doctor Tofu. 
You're definitely sick." 

   "Sick?  Me?  I never... get sick."  He sat up suddenly, pulled a
nearby trashcan to himself, and threw up.  Then he flopped back down
on the bed, and Akane resumed massaging his head.  She paused a moment
to go to the door, boot Soun, Genma, and their handicam down the
stairs, and closed it. 

   "Maybe I should stay here and take care of you?" she asked,
cradling his head in her lap. 

   "Nah... I'll be *ow the room is spinning* alright... Kasumi'll be
here, an' I don't want ya to miss anything 'cause of me."  Ranma
managed a weak smile, and was rewarded with a quick kiss on the
forehead. 

   "I wonder how you got so sick.  You never got sick before..." 

   "Coulda been... your cooking..." 

   She lightly bonked him on the forehead.  "Shut up, you." 

*

   Ukyou strolled down the sidewalk, breathing in the morning air and
feeling, overall, mellow.  There was nothing to get excited about, and
nothing to feel down about either. 

   Then she noticed something amiss in her surroundings. 

   "Ryouga?" 

   She looked around, a frown creeping across her face.  Ukyou walked
around, looking carefully for that one head in the crowd with the
yellow bandanna, ran over to it, and gave it a good yank. 

   "RYOUGA!!!" 

   "OW!  What'd you do THAT for?!" 

   "Wrong way, idiot." 

   "Oh." 

   After several more well-placed whaps to the head, Ukyou managed to
shepard Ryouga to Furinkan once more.  Arriving a few minutes early,
they went to their classes and immediately took a window seat to view
the day's festivities.  Today was Kendo Day, and everyone always
enjoyed watching the 'Blue Thunder' get knocked around. 

*

   As Akane Tendo approached the school, she noticed the courtyard
clearing out.  Then, she finally remembered exactly what was nagging
on her mind.  It was Kendo Day.  She was alone.  And Kuno had been
showing a remarkable amount of endurance for a while now. 

   <I wish Ranma was here... Wait a minute, I've always done this
_on_my_own_ and I can STILL handle it!>

   Tossing back her bookbags and rolling up her sleeves, Akane Tendo
got ready to rumble. 

*

   "Hey, wait a minute," said Ryouga, "something isn't right here." 

   "Hm?" wondered Ukyou. 

   "She's... alone out there, against all those guys!  That isn't
fair!" 

   "Might I remind you," said Nabiki calmly, "she used to do this
every day, against a bigger crowd, and on her own." 

   "Well... alright."  Ryouga settled in with everyone else looking
out from the windows as Akane approached and the Kendo Club settled
into attack formation. 

   Akane watched the Kendo Team surround her, their eyes watching her
carefully.  In the past, fighting hordes of boys was easy.  A person
would think fighting hordes is hard, but when those hordes are badly
organized and are as likely to hit each other as much as hit you, the
odds improve a lot.  The new way of doing things, however, fixed that. 
There was a new sort of 'teamwork' ever since the various forces of
Furinkan had split up into units, and it proved to be a fair test of
skills. 

   But that was with Ranma at her side. 

   "Good Morning, Akane Tendo."  The greeting snapped her out of her
thougths and quickly reached in front of her to snatch something from
the air... a rose.  Tatewaki Kuno stood in front of his team, looking
as smug as ever.  He took a moment to close his eyes and breathe in
the fine morning air. 

   Then he ranted. 

*

   The students held their breaths as the kendo team and Akane faced
off.  Everyone's eyes was watching for that one moment where the
tension would snap and the fighting would begin. 

   Someone sneezed. 

   Crickets chirped. 

   Akane watched them all carefully, awaiting that first attack. 

   Happosai streaked by in a flash hauling a bag of panties. 

   "ATTACK!" 

   With that mighty roar, Kuno surged forward with a flurry of strikes. 
Akane dodged to one side, grabbing him by the arm, and heaved him
towards a crowd of Kendoists.  As Kuno went flying, another bunch of
bokken wielding boys charged towards Akane, but were all mowed down by
a series of powerful sweeping kicks. 

   Meanwhile, a few floors up and watching from a window, Ryouga
watched nervously.  He'd always seen her as a gentle, sweet person,
even if she had incredibly violent sleeping habits (she'd once beaten
up Happosai in her sleep) and was, at times, ridiculously strong. 

   "Looks like she's holding her own," cooly noted Ukyou.  She looked
over to Ryouga, who was beginning to crush the window frame with his
hands as he nervously watched Akane's battle.  <He's still in love
with her, the hopeless idiot.> She sighed and watched as Akane mowed
down the fourth wave of kendoists by using Kuno as a battle axe, and
the fifth wave by using him as a throwing axe. 

   "I AM NOT YET DEFEATED!" yelled Kuno, who got up once more, as if
he was never struck.  For a brief moment his aura flared, and
flickered from his usual blue to a darker shade of purple.  It was
barely noticable.  Kuno launched himself into the air.  This drew a
gasp from the crowd, mainly because Akane had her back turned. 

   Of course, she sensed him coming.  As she spun around to give him a
bookbag slam to the forehead, something raced by and nailed Kuno in
the head before she had a chance to strike, a red umbrella whizzed by
and struck Kuno a thunderous blow.  The Blue Thunder was flung away in
the air and landed hard into the floor. 

   "WHO DARES TO INTERFERE WHILE THE BLUE THUNDER DOES BATTLE!?" said
Kuno as he sprung up once more, showing alarming resiliancy.

   Ryouga sprang out of the third floor window, his landing creating a
small crater.  "How DARE you call this an honorable duel!" 

   "Ryouga," said Akane, "you don't have to do this, really." 

   Ryouga's entrance into the fray set off a new round of buzzing and
chatter amongst the Furinkan student body.  "Hey, who's that?"  "Isn't
that Ryouga Hibiki?"  "I heard he was dating Ukyou."  "No, I thought he
was dating that other girl?"  "No fair, Ryouga getting all the women
like that, now he's putting the moves on Ranma's fiancee!" 

   Fortunately, Ryouga didn't hear this. 

   "The rogue Hibiki!  So, you would cast asperations on the fair
Akane Tendo?  Very well then, feel defeat at the hands of Tatewaki
Kuno!!!"  Before he could advance, something small and black struck
him on the face, then exploded in a large puff of black soot.  The
kendoists, bewildered, looked around, but soon got hit by exploding
bags as well. 

   "Akane look out!"  Ryouga raced over to her and pushed her to the
ground as several of the bags zoomed by, creating another large cloud
of soot in the field.  He opened his umbrella and stood next to her,
covering them from a few more bags that were flung their way. 

   "What the hell is going on down there?!" wondered Ukyou as she saw
the field of battle quickly become engulfled in dark clouds of soot. 
She grabbed her battle spatula and raced up the stairwell to the roof. 
She could see someone else was already up there, and flinging those
bags. As she approached, the mystery figure jumped down into the heart
of the fray below. 

   Ryouga peered into the darkness, cautiously. He lost track of
everything and had an ominous feeling.  Occasinally, a kendoist would
fly by them and back into the clouds.  Someone else had just made
their way into the fight, and they might not be friendly. 

   "What's going on Ryouga?" asked Akane. 

   "I dunno.  Let's get out of here."  Without thinking, he took her
in his arms and jumped to where, he hoped, the building would be. 
Instead he landed on the concrete perimiter fence of Furinkan high,
but it was out of the soot cloud.  From there, he could make out a
shape racing within the crowd, beating up kendoist after kendoist.

   "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS, RYOUGA HIBIKI?!"  Kuno thrashed around
violently, creating a whirlwind within the soot-covered field.  That,
and a light breeze soon cleared out the field, but not before someone
raced out of the remains of that cloud and layed Kuno low with a few
quick strikes of what appeared to be a radial, odd, steel... broom. 

   Everyone stared with much curiosity as a figure in strange, greyish
western suit of some sort, covered with soot, looked up at Ryouga and
pointed with the broom.  In formal, somewhat rigid Japanese, the
intruder spoke. 

   "Hibiki.  You are mine." 

   "What?"  Ryouga looked puzzled and angry.  "What'd I do to you???" 

   "Be here.  After school.  I will wait." 

   The figure threw down a handful of soot bombs, obscuring himself in
a cloud, and then disappeared as the smoke blew away. 

   "Great... just great," muttered Ryouga. 

   From the rooftop, Ukyou yelled down, "Ryouga, what are you doing?!" 
Unfortunately, he didn't hear that. 

   "Ah... Ryouga?" asked Akane tenatively. 

   "Hm?" 

   "You can let go now." 

   With extreme embarrassment, he realized that he'd been holding Akane
protectively, in his arms, all this time. 

   "Aaah!  Sorry!  Sorry!  I didn't mean to!  It isn't what it looks
like!"  He quickly let go and wiped off the minor nosebleed. 

   From high above, someone was yelling "Ryouga you jerk!" 

***

   Furinkan High:  lunch hour
   
   Ryouga was trying to have as peaceful a lunch as possible.  It
wasn't going to be very peaceful at all. 

   "What're you up to, Hibiki?" said Daisuke, elbowing him a little
and giving him a knowing grin. 

   "Huh?" 

   "You know what we mean," said Hiroshi, appearing on Ryouga's other
side.  "You puttin' the moves on Akane this morning!" 

   "WHAT?!" 

   "The whole school is talkin' about how you're stealing Akane from
Ranma, y'know," added Daisuke." 

   "B-b-but it isn't like that!  I wasn't... I mean we weren't... I
didn't mean to..."  Internally, Ryouga was a mess.  <Why> he wondered
<didn't this happen a few months ago?!  Why not when... when I still
had a chance?!>

   As he stood there, not listening to Hiroshi and Daisuke's words, he
could hear everything else that was going on.  It was a surreal
moment.  The breeze blowing, the birds chirping, everyone _else_ but
Hiroshi and Daisuke gossiping.... about him. 

   "Did you see the way Ryouga was holding Akane this morning?" 

   "Where was Ranma anyways?" 

   "I heard those two got in a fight again." 

   "So Ryouga's dating Akane now?  Man, it's always a martial artist!" 

   "Who was that guy earlier today that knocked out Kuno?" 

   "I heard they were gonna fight to see who gets Akane!" 

   "Ranma's gonna kill them both." 

   "Hey... a big fight, a boy helping Akane, some mysterious new guy
barging in and challenging... doesn't this all sound familiar?" 

   "Yeah, used to happen to Ranma all the time." 

   At that moment, Ryouga's mind screeched to a halt.  <Used to
happen all the time... used to happen all the time... to Ranma.... TO
RANMA!!!> He looked around, paranoia tingling in his nerves.  He
glanced at Ukyou, who immediately 'hmph'ed and turned away.  He looked
at Akane, who was busy angrily shooting down rumors.  He looked around
at all the other boys and girls of Furinkan High... 

   "... martial artists get all the girls...." 

   "... that womanizing cassanova..." 

   "... reminds me of Ranma..." 

   How did things get this ugly?  Why was this happening to him? 

   Suddenly, he knew.  He didn't know how he knew, he just knew who to
blame for this mess. After all, it was always his fault, somehow.

   "RANMAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" 

*

   Meanwhile, on the girl's side of things, everyone was getting
acquainted with a rather unusual new addition to Furinkan. 

   "You're... really enrolled here?" asked Yuka. 

   "In the same grade as us?" inquired Sayuri. 

   "Mm-hm!"  Kyoko nodded happily, being her usual bubbly self.  The
girls nearby gasped, afraid she'd accidentally poke someone's eyes out
with the oversized shears strapped to her back. 

   "So, how're you liking it here so far?" asked Akari. 

   "I like it here!  I get to be with Akane-oniichan and
Akari-oniichan!  Yay!" 

   "I still find it hard to believe this is Ryo's sister," muttered
Ukyou. 

   "Genetic fluke, I guess," said Yuka. 

*

   "You didn't have to do this," apologized Ryouga. 

   "No, it's alright.  If you don't face this guy now, he'll just bug
you for a long while.  You'd better get this outta the way now,"
explained Ukyou as she yanked his bandanna once more and led him in the
right direction. 

   Like vultures around a carcass, the students of Nerima waited around
the schoolyard for some free entertainment.  Not surprisingly, Nabiki
was there as well, maintaining her gambling business.  Ukyou wasn't
surprised at all. 

   Out in the middle of the field stood Ryouga's adversary, clad in a
loose fitting Victorian Era-esque suit of some sort, covered with soot
from head to toe, holding an equally sooty metal wire broom in hand. 
The stranger noticed Ryouga's approach and acknowledged him with a
nod. 

   Ryouga stood in the clearing in the field, ignoring the crowd of
students that were watching him, focusing on his opponent.  Was there
any way to end this peacefully?  At the moment he was barely willing
to give that option a try. 

   "Who are you?" 

   "I am Noori, T-" 

   "What do you want?" he interrupted impatiently.  Ryouga was still
blaming Ranma for this mess.  He wanted to clear this matter up as
soon as possible, then cave Ranma's head in.

   "You dishonored me," said the sweeper in stiff Japanese, "so we
will fight.  I will destroy you." 

   "But when did I-" 

   "Enough talk!  FIGHT!"  Noori swung the steel brush broom at
Ryouga's face, barely missing.  Three small scratches began to bleed
on Ryouga's face. 

   "Alright... THAT'S IT!"  Ryouga charged recklessly into the fray,
ignoring a broom handle to the gut, and gave a vicious headbutt. 
Noori recovered and swiped at Ryouga with the glistening metal end of
the brush, turning Ryouga's sleeve into ribbons and raking his arm
badly.  Soon, soot bombs and bandannas were flying about recklessly.

   While the two continued to fight, Ukyou watched from a distance and
away from the main 'audience'.  Something about the fight was eerily
familiar to her.  A sense of deja-vu.  She stared at this 'Noori' with
some nagging feeling. 

   "Worried?" inquired Sayuri. 

   "Ah.... of COURSE I'm worried!  He's my friend!" 

*

   Ryouga snapped off his belt and whipped it out until it suddenly
straightened itself into a blade...

   Noori hefted a handfull of soot bombs, intending to blind Ryouga
with a bomb to the face... 

   The crowd gasped as there was a mighty explosion of black soot and
a high pitched scream.  Ryouga stumbled out of the cloud, coughing
violently and squinting his eyes.  A very enraged Noori charged out of
the cloud, spinning the steel brush broom in one hand, looking to
bring it down on Ryouga's face. 

   Ryouga, hearing Noori's footsteps, whipped out his umbrella and
raised it, blocking an overhead strike from the broom.  At this
particular moment, with Noori's arms up high (holding the broom) and
Ryouga looking in a generally downward direction, coughing and
blinking, his vision finally cleared up. 

   He clearly saw that he'd managed to tag him with his belt/sword
twice, once across the arm, and once across the chest.... 

   <Why's he wearing a... A BRA?>

   "YOU'RE A GIRL!!!" 

   Ukyou felt the sensation of deja-vu hit hard as she saw what was
occurring on the field.  The crowd started buzzing furiously as well
after hearing his shout.  Rumors started flying immediately and she
couldn't help but hear what the crowd was saying. 

   "Ryouga's fighting a girl?  I wonder what she did to him..." 

   "Hey, maybe she's his fiancee or something?" 

   "You hear that?  She's his fiancee!" 

   "Y'know, this all seems kinda familiar." 

   "Didn't this sorta thing happen to Ranma?" 

   That last sentance echoed in Ukyou's mind, and slowly her left eye
began to twitch.  She reached for her battle spatula. 

   Meanwhile, Noori was yelling at Ryouga in a strangely accented
English.  He didn't understand a word, but whatever she was saying
seemed rather harsh.  She was swinging madly at him, but he was doing
nothing now but dodging and backing away. 

   "Why do you run away?!?!" she yelled. 

   "I don't hit girls!" replied Ryouga. 

   Those words echoed in Ukyou's mind as well.  She'd heard them
before.  And her mood wasn't being improved by the memory. 

   "Fine!  You stop running, I kill you!!!"  Noori punctuated that
remark with a swing of the broom that narrowly missed. 

   The large spatula, on the other hand, didn't miss. 

   Noori stopped in her tracks, surprised by the unexpected
intervention.  There seemed to be an irate girl with a large spatula
yelling at her enemy, and she wasn't quite sure what to do at all. 
This sort of interference was unheard of. 

   "What are you doing?!" yelled Ryouga. 

   "What am *I* doing?  What did YOU do to THAT girl, you JERK!"
screamed Ukyou.  "Humiliate her as a little girl?  Break her heart? 
RUN OFF RIGHT AFTER YOU WERE ENGAGED TO HER?!?!  WELL?!?!  ANSWER
ME!!!"  While throttling Ryouga and yelling, Ukyou felt a tap on her
shoulder. She turned around impatiently, asking, "WHAT?!" 

   Noori asked cautiously (and stiffly), "Ah... excuse me, but what
are you doing?" 

   "Yeah, what are you doing?" asked Ryouga, who was promptly whapped
by both Noori and Ukyou. 

   "You interrupt my fight," said Noori, running out of patience.  "I
will hurt Ryouga very much then go, okay?"  With that said, she raised
her broom, preparing to brush Ryouga's face off of his head.

   "Wait a minute, sister, he's my friend!  If anybody around here is
gonna pound him into the ground, it's ME!" 

   "This is not your concern!" yelled Noori.  "I am HERE to fight
HIM!"  said Noori, and pointed at.... 

   ... an empty spot where Ryouga should have been. 

*

   Several hours later... 

   Ryouga was baffled.  He was in the yard at Furinkan High a moment
ago, and after several blows to the head and some stumbling, he was in
Okinawa... well, it seemed like Okinawa.  Or was it Osaka?  He wasn't
quite sure and at moments of stress every place seemed like every
other place. 

   Oh wait, wasn't that the Tendo Dojo?  He wasn't sure. 

   He thought about going there just to ask directions. 

   Then he remembered the day's events. 

   And he also remembered a certain pig-tailed boy he wanted to
mangle. 

   "RANMA!!!  I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" 

   He charged in, breaking through the gates, tearing through the
front door, and stared at complete and total strangers. 

   "Eep!  Sorry!  Wrong address!  Pardon me!  Sorry!  Sorry!" 

*

   "He WHAT?!" said the bedridden Ranma, suddenly feeling good enough
to stand up. 

   "You heard us, man," said Hiroshi, "he was all over Akane today! 
Isn't that right?" 

   "We saw it all," said Daisuke, nodding solemnly. 

   "I'M *KAFF* GONNA KILL HIM!!!" 

-end part 8-