[Ucchan's, 6:30am] o/" Where it's at... o/" The last strings of a melody echoed softly in her ears. Ukyou yawned and woke up, stretching, and hummed the tune. It was catchy... and if she modified it just right... "Mmm, mus'be crazy," she muttered. Ucchans never did a commercial before, and she didn't think they were going to do one now... ======================== The Pursuit of Happiness Act 1 Part 9 Where It's At ============= [Furinkan High, after school...] "Well, you recovered fast," observed Akane, walking up on the fence behind Ranma and holding his hand. The two walked home at a leisurely pace, with Akane occasionally wobbling, but getting her balance back quickly. "Yeah, didn't wanna miss too much class, y'know?" Ranma's grip on Akane's hand tightened. He'd heard about what Ryouga was up to, and there'd be hell to pay. Ryouga was, he felt, lucky to have been absent from school again. Otherwise, he'd have been beaten into a pulp. * Ryouga wandered, it felt like he'd been wandering endlessly for the past couple of days. He managed to stay in urban surroundings, so he hoped that meant that he was still in Nerima. Tired, impatient, and wanting to find how where the hell he was, he grabbed a passing student by the shirt. "Where is Furinkan High?!" he growled. Daisuke blinked. This was apparently Ryouga. Again. There was a definite sense of deja vu as Daisuke patiently pointed out the sign to their left. Ryouga looked to where the boy was pointing. It was a sign. A rather large sign. One that read "Furinkan High School." That's one problem down. "Hey, you look familiar," said Ryouga. "It's me, Daisuke. Your classmate?" "Oh! Sorry about that." "Well, it's too late for class, the school day is over," said Daisuke. "Where've ya been?" "Lost." "Figures." Suddenly, Ryouga's hunting instincts told him something he'd want to hit was nearby. He looked around, scanning with narrowed eyes, until he spotted two figures walking slowly upon the fence. One of which he had a problem with. Ryouga grabbed his umbrella charged, his quarry targeted and locked. "RANMA!" * The sound of Okonomiyaki frying. That was the sound that soothed Ukyou's soul. As of late, she noticed that she was becoming far too easily stressed. What was the cause of it all? She'd never been as aggrivated before. No time to dwell on that too much, the okonomiyaki needed grilling. Scoop. Turn. *sizzle* Inhale the aroma. The grill, the oil, the spatula, the okonomiyaki. All are one in the universe. Add some sauce. Scoop. Sliiiiide to the plate. All done. She reached over to begin creating another okonomiyaki when something disturbed the one-ness of her okonomiyaki universe. She didn't recall having a vending machine in her store.... Tsubasa. Get spatula. "Um, Ukyou-sama! Hi!" Adjust. Scoop. "No! Wait! Waitwaitwait! I just came here to talk!" Heave. No, wait... something was wrong. Ukyou looked down to where her spatula was wedged under Tsubasa's costume. It was bent. She cursed silently as she had forgotten that Tsubasa'd been putting durable (and sometimes heavy) mecha underneath his disguises lately. Quickly loosing her zen-like state, she growled and pulled back an arm, getting ready to slug the face that had just popped out of the vending machine. "Waitwaitwait! Please!" "This better be good, Tsubasa," growled Ukyou. "You bent my spatula." "It is! It is! Please! Just listen!" * Tanya Noori was upset. She had -finally- tracked down Hibiki, and was ready to pay him back for the humiliation he had caused her. But somehow, somewhere along the line, things went wrong. First, her undergarments were revealed to the public via an attack from HIM. Then, some strange girl with a titanic spatula interrupted the fight and started bickering with him. And finally, as the strange girl and Tanya were arguing, HE escaped. Tanya was not amused. She had, in her haste to find him, rushed out into the city to track him down. That was a mistake. Being a newcomer to the city herself, she was fairly lost in a matter of hours as well. Cursing her luck, she found a nice, clean rooftop to rest in and began her search once more... which brought her to now. She had been standing where she had managed to spot her former significant other several days ago, hoping to see a familiar face once more. The waiting was killing her. Suddenly, a face stood out amongst the crowd. Somewhat pale, a little on the lean side, with unmistakable eyes. *'allo, Ryo* said Tanya in her native English, watching him from her rooftop perch, *'ow very nice t'see you 'gain. You'll lead me t'Ryouga, won't ye? Oi knew ye would.* Tanya strolled the rooftops, watching Ryo carefully. She knew he hated Ryouga possibly as much as she did, so he had to lead her to him eventually. Besides, she figured, all this strolling around would help her learn where everything was. Ryo blinked. He had the distinct feeling that someone was shadowing him. He looked up around the rooftops, suspiciously, but saw nothing. "Ryo-sama, what's wrong?" asked Akari, tugging at his arm. "Hm? Nothing, nothing. Let's go, yes?" Ryo offered his arm and Akari took it as they walked through the commercial district of town, taking in the sights and sounds of a fine spring day. She was thrilled that Ryo had turned out to be such a gentleman, unlike the mean person they made him out to be. She felt lucky that he was willing to date her. And he was strong, too! He'd managed to knock out her sumo pig! No doubt, grandfather would be happy to have such a polite, strong heir to the sumo pig farm which had been theirs for generations. Ryo grinned. Akari was remarkably gullable. Unbelievably, uniquely, gullable. And so very trusting, as well. He hoped that neither of his sisters were ever this foolish. * "RANMA!" The boy in question turned around, just in time to dodge an umbrella swipe to the skull. He saw the attacker, and his battle aura began to glow. "Well... if it ain't Ryouga... DIE!" He lept from the fence, towards Ryouga and hammered him with a series of blows. Ryouga took the hits, but wasn't fazed by them much, and plowed into Ranma, knocking them both through the fence and into the waterway beyond it. A pig tailed girl and a fang-toothed girl emerged from the water, looking furious. They clashed once more, with water spraying everywhere and the occasional breaking point technique rattling the earth. "Ranma! Ryouga! Stop it!" yelled Akane. "Why are you two fighting?!" "Stay outta this, Akane!" yelled Ranma-chan. "This is a man to man fight!" yelled Ryouga-chan. Nobody appreciated the irony. With a battle cry, both combatants charged each other once more and cut a path of destruction through the neighborhood. Akane, frustrated that she hadn't been able to slow down the situation any, sighed and followed. * "Well.... wow," said Ukyou, unsure of what else to say. "I... I want you to know," said Tsubasa, his eyes almost ready to go into tears, "I'll be back some day." "Hey, if you end up tangled with obligations and all that, I understand perfectly," replied Ukyou. "I... I'll never forget you," said Tsubasa, letting a few tears fall. "Okay..." As much as Tsubasa irritated her, Ukyou just didn't like seeing anyone in tears like that. "Hey, tell ya what," she said, pulling out two small spatulas and bringing out the ingredients, "I'll make ya an okonomiyaki on the house, for old time's sakes, okay?" Tsubasa smiled through his tears. Ukyou had a feeling it was a mistake already, but grilled the transvestite an okonomiyaki anyways... * "Thanks for being with me today," said Akari, in a timid, shy voice. Ryo grinned. "It was my pleasure." They watched a few trains go by, Akari looking happy and Ryo looking calm. Finally, her train arrived, and Ryo walked her to the door. "See you later," he said with a smile. They hugged briefly, then she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Reluctantly, she let go and entered the train, and soon was on her way back to her grandfather's farm. Ryo stood there. The breeze blew by, trains passed, people surged back and forth to and from the trains. Ryo stood there. Two figures, one carrying a bench, the other a shovel, both in suits, walked quietly behind him. "Heya, Ryo!" Ryo narrowed his eyes and spun around, snarling. His umbrella was raised and spinning madly in his hand. "WHAAAAAT?!?!" The pair stumbled back, panic-stricken. "Oh... you two." "So, that's the girl you're going to hold ransom?" asked one of them. "A cute one, too," observed the other. Ryo's face was locked in a scowl, but he did nothing else. "Hey, Ryo, are you sure we oughta be doing this?" asked one of them. Ryo's eyes narrowed. He grabbed them both by their lapels and hissed, "Shut up! Both of you SHUT UP!" Ryo pushed them back some distance away, then strode into the street, saying as he left, "we proceed as usual, do not question me!" Above, in the cover of the shadows of the rooftop, Tanya followed... * "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY ONCE AND FOR ALL RANMA!!!" screamed Ryouga-chan as she lunged around wildly with her umbrella, leaving shattered telephone poles and deep dents in concrete. Ranma dodged and threw a few kicks of her own in retaliation, yelling, "ME?! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S GONNA PAY!" "FOR ALL ALL THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" boomed Ryouga-chan, flinging a barrage of bandannas. "WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE TIMES YA SLEPT WITH AKANE, HUH?" Ranma-chan shot back. Some distance away, Akane turned red, a little with embarrassment, and alot with anger. "Ranma, GET BACK HERE!!!" "FOR RUNNING AWAY FROM OUR DUEL!" Ryouga-chan plowed into Ranma-chan with a shoulder rush, sending them both into a wall. "FOR ALL THE TIMES YA MADE ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT'A AKANE!" Ranma-chan pummeled Ryouga-chan's side with a chestnut-fist attack. "ALL THOSE LUNCHES YOU STOLE!" Ryouga-chan ignored the punches, and flung Ranma-chan away. "YOU STILL CRYIN' OVER THAT, YA BIG BABY?! I DIDN'T STEAL FROM YA *THAT* MUCH!" said Ranma-chan as she landed, rolled away, and sprang forward with both feet extended. "EIGHTY-SEVEN TIMES!" yelled Ryouga-chan, ducking. Ranma-chan blinked. "You actually kept count?" "DIE RANMA!" Ryouga-chan caught Ranma-chan by surprise, grabbing her by the shirt and flung her through the air. * Ryo inhaled the cool evening air, idly observing the various constellations that were revealing themselves as darkness took hold of the land. He was standing atop a five floor building, enjoying the scenic view of the night. He turned, his expression becoming calm yet deadly, and said, "show yourself." He was greeted with silence. Ryo sighed, idly twirling his umbrella, then suddenly swung it hard towards a cluster of shadows by the rooftop corner, yelling "Ryugeki-ken!" A boomerang-shaped energy blazed from it and slammed into the shadows, smashing into brick and metal. As the ki flashed briefly, Ryo saw a shadowy shape jump high and safely away, landing several feet away from him and in plain view. "Who...." muttered Ryo, as he examined his visitor. The clothes... western, British, victorian era, he'd guess, and all covered with a fine layer of soot. As he stared at this person, realization dawned on him. "You! Gaijin!" It was the gaijin girl that attended the reunion lunch! Twirling his umbrella at a blurring speed, Ryo approached. "Explain and identify yourself," he hissed, halting his umbrella with it's blade pointed in her direction. The girl looked defiantly at him, not intimidated at all, and revealed her own weapon, a broom of sorts, seemingly normal, until he noticed the brushes shone of metal in the dim light. She held it in a ready position, watching him warily. "Where is Ryouga?" she asked, in a somewhat stiff, accented voice. "You didn't answer my.... Ryouga?" Ryo raised an eyebrow, much like a Vulcan scientist would when discovering a fascinating new killer virus. "What about Ryouga?" The girl drew a line across her throat with her finger. Ryo smirked. "You? You think you can defeat, no, kill Ryouga?" He was somewhat annoyed at this new interloper. Ryouga was HIS to observe, HIS to make suffer, HIS to hurt, and HIS to kill, once all the amusement of making his life hell was gone. Who was this gaijin girl to think otherwise? "I am Tanya Noori. Ryouga..." she struggled for a moment, looking for the appropriate word, "... dishonored me. He will be punished." Ryo sneered, "it wouldn't take much to shame _you_, I would think." "SHUT UP!" She swiped at him with her broom. He blocked with his umbrella calmly. Ryo was feeling the surge in him now. One he hadn't felt in a while. The surge that came with crushing someone's very soul with harsh words and equally harsh actions. "Wait," he said, "Ryouga... dishonored you? Perhaps you are his ex-fiancee?" Noori tensed for a moment, pulling her broom as if to strike again, then calmed down. With a withering glare, she said, "I see you did not beat him." His features went decidedly hostile. "Perhaps I do better than you, yes?" she mocked. "I hear he always beat you, so who are you to tell me?" Ryo swiped forward with his umbrella, growling in anger. It was easily blocked. Noori smirked. "Ryouga is MINE," hissed Ryo. "You stay OUT of my way, and you leave Ryouga to ME." He pulled his umbrella back and sprang down to the streets below, clearly angered. Tanya glared from the rooftops. {'ey's a bloody arse, the wanker...} She thought for a moment, thinking of all she'd heard and seen this night. Ryo might prove to be a costly distraction, especially when he might steal her primary target from under her nose. No, that would not happen. Arrogant bastard be damned, she was here to grind Ryouga into the ground. And God help whoever got in the way. * "So, when..." wondered Ukyou. "It starts next week," said Tsubasa, happily finishing off his okonomiyaki. He was enjoying the moment dearly, knowing that they didn't make okonomiyaki this good in corporate caffeterias. As he ate, a few sensors in his mech/costume beeped. Tsubasa stopped eating and listened, carefully. "Tsubasa? What is it?" wondered Ukyou. "Something's...." Before he could finish, something crashed through the storefront window, slammed into Tsubasa (and his costume), and sent them both barreling through tables and eventually, into the wall. Bits of table were everywhere, and the dent in the wall was severe. Ukyou stared. Her restaurant had experienced a little damage before, maybe a broken door chair or two, but this.... "Ow! Gedoffame!" Ranma-chan shoved the dazed Tsubasa aside. The vending machine costume toppled over and slammed into the grill, bending a section of it badly. Ukyou's eyebrow began to twitch. "RANMA! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME!" Ryouga-chan plowed in soon afterwards, shattering even more of the storefront window. She landed on a table (that was shattered immediately) and took another swing at Ranma-chan with her umbrella. Ranma-chan caught Ryouga-chan's umbrella hand and forced the umbrella to miss, where it smashed into another part of Ukyou's grill, crumpling it to the ground. In the distance, Akane could be heard yelling "Stop fighting, you two!" Ranma-chan kept a grip on the umbrella, trying to pull it away from Ryouga-chan. It swung wildly, left and right, smashing tables, chairs, and more sections of Ukyou's long grill. "WHY YOU!" Tsubasa uprighted himself and set a target lock on the two fighting figures. "DIE!" Suddenly, a barrage of soda cans flew out of Tsubasa's vending machine costume, battering them both and exploding on contact, spraying the entire area with cola. Finally, Akane stomped in, muttering something about stupid boys. The trio of boys-looking-like-girls froze suddenly, sensing a supreme amount of female anger nearby. They turned around slowly. Ranma spoke, very... cautiously. "Um... Ucchan... why are ya lookin' at us like that? * "So, how's things nowadays?" asked Ukyou, sipping on some tea. "Things are well," replied Akane, drinking hers, "very well." "Refill?" "Yes, please." Ukyou poured the tea calmly, then set it on the table. The breeze lifted her hair up briefly, and she sighed while enjoying the sensation. "Ukyou, what was Tsubasa doing here? We haven't seen him since he was in the hospital," wondered Akane. "Him? Oh, he's got himself an internship with Mishima Heavy Industries. Mech design and all that. Just might end up part of the permanent staff, he tells me." "Oh... wow." Akane calmly drank some more tea. "You know... I never thought of him as the type of guy..... that... well..." started Akane, looking for the appropriate phrase. "Hm?" "The type that was into mecha," answered Akane. Ukyou nodded in agreement. "True, very true." The sound of people walking by filtered in. Another cool night breeze drifted through their table. "How's your sisters?" Ukyou wondered. "Nabiki?" Akane smiled. "Well, there's this guy that's trying to get a date with her... his name's Isamu." "You think anything will work out?" wondered Ukyou. "Sure, right, maybe in another reality," mused Akane. Both girls giggled for a brief moment. "I don't think she ever really wants to be tied down with somebody." "Hey, how about Kasumi?" wondered Ukyou. "What about her?" "Any progress between her and Doctor Tofu?" Akane sighed. "No, not really. He's too much of a nervous wreck when she's around, and she doesn't try anything either." Ukyou shook her head sadly. "That's a shame. They'd make a great couple, I think." Akane nodded in agreement. "I feel the same." A grin slowly crept across her face. "Speaking of couples that might go well together..." She looked at Ukyou briefly, then tilted her head towards Ryouga. "What, Ryouga?" spat Ukyou. Akane poked her teasingly. "Why not?" "Out of the question," replied Ukyou with a smirk. "Besides, it seems he's got a new admirer." "Really?" Akane leaned forward, smiling. "Who is she?" "I dunno, some crazy girl with a broom. Noori was her name. Must be a fiancee or something." From across the room, Ryouga shouted, "I do *NOT* know that girl!!!" "GET BACK T'WORK!" bellowed Ukyou, flinging a throwing spatula in his general direction. "Hey! Careful with those things!" he yelled back. As Ryouga kneeled back on the ground and picked up some nails and lumber, Ranma muttered, "told ya to just keep quiet and get this done." "Shut up, Ranma," growled Ryouga. "Shh! She's gonna hear!" hissed Tsubasa. *WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP**WHAP* "I said GET BACK T'WORK! NOBODY'S LEAVING UNTIL EVERYTHING'S FIXED!" Ukyou swung her spatula menacingly one more time, scowling, and made sure all three boys went back to work with repairs. "Sorry about this, Ukyou. I just don't know what got into those two today," apologized Akane. "For some reason, Ranma thought Ryouga was hitting on me." From the front where the boys worked, there was a brief scuffle and some hissed whispering between Ryouga and Ranma, but a spatula shuriken from Ukyou quickly silenced them. "Quit fooling around!" she yelled. "GET BACK TO WORK I SAID!" She sighed once more as she sat next to Akane again. "Boys, can't live with'em, can't live without'em." "Yeah, tell me about it," said Akane, smiling. Ukyou paused, her mouth half-open in mid-thought. "Ah... say, Akane, I got this idea, tell me what ya think..." "I'll be glad when this is over," muttered Ranma. "Shut up, or she'll think of something worse!" hissed Ryouga. Just then, Akane started giggling. Ukyou's grin became dangerously mirthful, much like a shark smiles before dinner. "I think," said Tsubasa, "we're in trouble." * TWO DAYS LATER... The Tendos and Saotomes sat in front of the television, with the exception of Ranma, who was sulking in the back. "Don't believe she made us do this..." he muttered. "Oh, come on Ranma, it isn't THAT bad," teased Akane, while Nabiki got the VCR set to record, and Soun and Genma smiled proudly at their son's pending 15 minutes of fame. "Here it comes!" "Aw man, this sucks!" ------------------------------------------------------------------- (camera fade in to TSUBASA in girl's uniform, standing at a typical Nerima streetcorner. Cue somewhat hip-hop-ish beat) TSUBASA There's a destination a little up the road, Where the Saotomes and the Tendos go, A place that's run by Miss Ukyou, The music wails and the batter flows! Passin' out sake and okonamiyaki, Two hot griddles and a spatula, Leave a tip and just lick your lips, a-just lick your lips! (camera switches to Ranma and Ryouga standing in front of Ucchan's with sunglasses and swaying to the beat.) RANMA & RYOUGA WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! Two hot griddles and a spatula! (camera switches to Ryouga, walking through the inside of Ucchan's) RANMA It's a hot little spot at the side of the road, Where's the music's hot and the drinks are cold, Members only, we emphasize it, Don't break the rules or Ukyou fries ya! (camera switches to Ryouga, also walking through the restaurant) RYOUGA Stay out late, Feel the groove, Ukyou, With her martial-arts moves! Get all artistic with the sauce, Just remember one thing -- UKYOU'S THE BOSS! (camera switch to RANMA, TSUBASA, and RYOUGA standing in front of Ucchan's restaurant) RANMA, TSUBASA, and RYOUGA WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula! WHERE IT'S AT! She got two hot griddles and a spatula... (scene and music fade) ------------------------------------------------------------------- "Oh god, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow," muttered Ranma, dying from embarrassment. "This ain't fair." -end pt 9- - part 9 epilogue - "Hey, Ranma, nice commercial, man!" "SHADDUP, HIROSHI!" ----------- LEGAL STUFF ----------- "Two Okonomiyaki and a spatula"done by Ryan Mathews (thanks =) modified from "Where it's at" by Beck -end part 9-