Bubblegum Crisis
Batman: The Animated Series
S M I L E
A tale of knights, past and present.
--------------------------
Part 1: Ghosts of the Past
--------------------------
- November 2034 -
[Megatokyo International Airport]
Everyone had shadows and mysteries in their past. There's
always that unanswered question, the little secret that the
family will never tell you.
Sylia had one such mystery.
She hated mysteries.
Dr. Raven was a part of one of them.
The year: 2025, year of thte Kanto Quake. Dr. Raven's
garage and the Stingray residence in ruins as a result of
the earthquake.
One year later, Dr. Raven establishes a new garage in the
canyons, and somehow manages to supply Sylia with some very
expensive and sophisticated equipment.
At the time, she was too focused on her quest to question
Dr. Raven on his resources. But there was always something
about the whole setup that had been nagging at her. A
little voice that surfaced once in a blue moon to say, 'I
wonder...'
With the recent stretch of peace and quiet, she'd taken some
time to do some investigating. She asked Dr. Raven, but he
treated the matter as a non-issue. 'Old friends and
contacts,' he would say casually, and wouldn't go into
further detail than that.
Sylia conducted her own investigation. A look into Dr.
Raven's records revealed that he didn't have enough capital
to invest in the massively expensive machines that he did.
She then looked to her own benefactors, the various
scholarships that she'd been awarded with for her education
in private school, then college. All the records of those
scholarship organizations were somehow lost in the quake.
It was all too convenient.
As a last resort, she'd dug out some of the equipment that
Dr. Raven had from the old days and intended to trace their
serial numbers. Most of the equipment, however, had their
numbers scraped off. Most, but not all.
With a little help from Nene, Sylia followed the money trail
from sales records of the companies that made the equipment,
and the trail ended in Gotham, where the trail was lost due
to missing records or security walls that Nene couldn't
crack. Before the trail ended, however, several companies
were revealed in their involvement.
One of the possibilities, Gothcorp, disturbed her. That was
the same company that had betrayed Dr. Victor Fries so long
ago.
Knight Sabers... an organization created to bring down a
tyranical corporation, created by a tyranical corporation?
Her thoughts were broken as Priss waved a hand in her face.
"Hm?"
"Hey, you're lookin' a little zoned out there," said Priss.
"You okay?"
"Yes, just... thinking about something. That's all."
She looked at each of her teammates for a moment. Nene
was confirming Sylia's suspicions that she was the type to
handle goodbyes with lots of tears. Priss was her usual
stoic and street-tough self.
Linna was nervous.
She had a reason to be nervous.
In Sylia's absence, she'd been put in charge of the Knight
Sabers. Linna had her doubts on the matter, and expressed
them to Sylia at great length with lots of frantic gestures
and other great theatrics.
At the end, though, Linna couldn't argue with Sylia's
reasoning. Nene just wasn't leadership material, not in
combat. Priss' strong point was combat, but she had a
tendancy to be a loose cannon.
Linna, on the other hand, had some leadership experience, of
a sort. She was a dance instructor and a choreographer.
She told other people what to do, and knew how to go about
it. Additionally, she was more level-headed than Priss and
more combat-savvy than Nene.
She just needed to get comfortable in the role, thought
Sylia.
"Take care, everyone. And don't give Linna a hard time,"
said Sylia, a slight whimsical tone in her voice.
"You should be the one to take care," said Priss. "Gotham's
a hellhole. Why the hell are you going to that dump
anyway?"
"Just looking for a little history," said Sylia.
//"FLIGHT 2424 TO GOTHAM NOW BOARDING"//
"That's my flight."
After exchanging respectful gazes with Priss, patting Linna
on the shoulder, and tolerating a goodbye wail and hug from
Nene, Sylia left.
The three remained, watching the plane soar off into the
morning skies, all uneasy at the departure of their leader.
The silence was broken when Priss elbowed Linna gently.
"C'mon, fearless leader. Let's get a bite to eat, I'm
starving."
"Fine, you're paying," said Linna casually.
"What? Hey now, isn't the leader supposed to keep her
troops well fed?"
:)
[Genom Development Center, Megatokyo]
Madigan strode through the halls quickly and with a serious
demeanor. All members of the staff parted before her, not
unlike Moses through the Red Sea. She was, as everyone
knew, the second highest ranking official in Genom,
operating under the direct authority and approval of
Chairman Quincy himself.
Walking right behind her was a small flock of researchers,
engineers, and a construction manager. This group was
generally known amongst upper management as wage slaves.
"We discovered it just this morning, while replacing the air
ducts on sublevel 3, Miss Madigan."
"How many have been inside?" asked Madigan.
"Only a few workers, ma'am."
"Have them sign these." She pulled from her briefcase
several papers and handed them to the men. "All of you as
well. I want these filled in and turned in within the next
ten hours."
"What are these?"
"Non-disclosure agreements," answered Madigan. "If they
have a problem with it, refer them to my office and I'll
settle the matter."
"Yes ma'am."
Madigan and her entourage weaved through the corridors until
they came to a jagged hole in the wall, several meters in
size. Within the darkness, there was a dusty ventilation
shaft leading down. It too had been had been torn open.
Behind that was yet another corridor, entirely in darkness.
A wooden board was put across the shaft's width as a
makeshift bridge.
Madigan held her hand up to her side. Without a word, one
of the men handed her a flashlight.
"Further ahead, there's a ladder leading down to the main
chamber," said one of the men. "Watch your step."
Madigan nodded and stepped cautiously onward, then made her
way down a narrow passage via ladder until finally coming to
a stop in a medium sized room. It was lit dimly by light
from the massive computers within and a halo of lights
surrounding a peculiar man-sized cylinder at the far end of
the room.
It was what was within the cylinder that nearly took her
breath away.
"My God," she whispered, "it's... it's..."
"It's incredibly advanced," cut in one of the researchers.
"Mobility, strength, just everything about it is
outstanding. It's the work of a genius."
"Or a madman," muttered Madigan. "Does someone have a
C-scanner?"
One of the technicians handed her a small, wide object with
several pointy metal bits and not a few lasers on one end,
and a detatchable eyepiece at the other. She took it, wore
the eyepiece, and aimed the device at the cylinder. Slowly,
she began to move the scanner up and down, until halting
while it was focused on his chest.
"I'll be damned."
"What?" asked one of the technicians.
"None of your damned business. Now... who built this place?
I want the original construction plans to the building and a
full list of construction personel involved."
"Yes ma'am."
Actually, she already knew who built this place. She wanted
to know who _else_ was involved and weed them out of the
Genom corporation.
"See to it no one is allowed in here without my clearance.
_No_one_. Understood?"
"Yes ma'-"
"And if ANYONE attempts to gain entry without my approval, I
want to know."
:)
//"Madigan on line 2, sir."//
"Put her through."
//"Hello, sir."//
"How goes it, Madigan?"
//"It's him, or at least a copy in stasis."//
"Indeed."
//"And he has the box."//
Quincy looked a little surprised. "Place him under heavy
security. We were nearly killed the last time he ran
loose."
//"Of course, sir."//
"And have our best development teams take a look. This is
something they should learn from."
:)
[The Greasy Cow - Tinseltown]
Priss frowned. "Hmm... I just dunno..."
Linna blinked. "Hm?"
"Burger or salad? I got a gig tonight, an'I heard that what
ya eat makes a difference on how you sing."
Nene raised an eyebrow. Priss had a sometimes voracious
appetite for junk food. Pizza, hamburgers, anything cheap,
fast, and fried. "_Now_ you care about what you eat?"
Priss shrugged. "Hey, I'm not gettin' any younger. You
should be watchin' what you eat too, Nene-chan. Gettin' a
little pudgy 'round the cheeks."
"Am not!"
"Where's the gig at?" asked Linna.
"Hellfire. Five blocks east of Sylia's place."
"Oh, the new place?" asked Nene.
Priss nodded. "You guys gonna watch?"
Linna raised an eyebrow. "If you can get us in, sure."
"I'm in!" cheered Nene.
Priss nodded. "Right, two spots reserved. So what've you
guys been planning?"
"Nothing planned," sighed Nene.
"Gotta find a date," said Linna wistfully.
Priss rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Linna. You'n men-"
"It's not like that!" protested Linna. "I've got two
tickets to Pagliacci and I don't wanna go alone."
"Pagliacci?" asked Priss. "What's that?"
"It's an opera, you uncivilized ape-woman," said Nene
smugly.
"Shaddup, shorty. So what's this opera about?"
"It's about this theater clown in italy, and how he's
betrayed by his wife and goes mad," said Linna. "In the
end, he loses his sanity and murders his wife and her
lover."
"Uh-huh," said Priss, unimpressed.
"It's playing at the Megatokyo Grand Opera all this month,"
continued Linna.
"And they're singing in Italian during the whole thing,
yeah?" asked Priss.
Linna nodded.
"I will never understand opera. And no ape-woman remarks,
shorty."
Nene tried to look innocent. "Who, me?"
"So how's Sho doing?"
Priss smiled warmly, in a way that was entirely alien to her
features. It was a matronly smile that appeared any time
she thought of him.
Sho, at the moment twelve, was the son of a friend of Priss'
that had died a while back as a result of Genom's corporate
greed, like so many other people Priss had known.
The Knight Sabers had avenged her death, but that didn't
give Sho back his mother. He was sent off to an orphanage
in the country, away from the crime and crowds of the city,
where he and his mother had always longed to live.
"Sho? The kid's doing all right," said Priss. "I think
he's even got himself a girlfriend."
The girls giggled.
"Oh my," said Linna. "Gonna become a little heartbreaker,
that kid."
"How old is he now?" asked Nene.
"Twelve," replied Priss. "Gave the kid a dirtbike for his
birthday. I'm sure he's raising hell on some back road out
there."
"I'm surprised you didn't adopt him," said Linna.
This caused Priss to pause a moment with a surprised look on
her face. "Me? Adopt?"
"You're almost like a mom to him already," said Linna.
"Unbelievable but true," added Nene.
"Well, yeah, but... I dunno... I mean... me? A parent?"
"Then again, it might not be a good idea," said Linna, in a
mock-serious tone.
"Mm-hm," said Nene, playing along.
"Me adopting Sho... don't sound too bad, actually..."
"I mean," said Linna, "Sho'll just pick up all her bad
habits."
"Oh yeah, like being a short-tempered," said Nene.
"Sloppy," added Linna.
"Violent," continued Nene.
"Irresponsible..."
"Reckless..."
"Oh, shut up," said Priss, whapping them both with her menu.
"Anyway, he's staying with me for a week later this month.
We're gonna see the sights, hit the concerts-"
"Break the speed limits on your bike," said Nene, which
quickly earned her another bap from Priss.
"You guys wanna come along?" asked Priss. "He'd love to see
you guys too, I'm sure."
"Count me in," said Linna.
"Me too," said Nene.
"Cool. Now about breakfast..." Priss looked at the menu a
bit longer, tapped the table with her thumb for a bit, then
closed it with a shrug.
"Ah, heck with it. I'll go with the three cow burger with
cheese and eggs."
"I'll go with the chicken salad," said Linna.
"Let's see," said Nene. "I'll have the-"
"Watch the calories, chubby," said Priss.
"Meanie!"
:)
[Genom Development Center, Megatokyo]
A man in a white lab coat, somewhat past middle age with
white hair and a long beard sat in a corner of a fairly
crowded laboratory. The area was packed with wires,
computers, and cluttered tables.
His name tag simply read: Dr. Vess.
//"Hey Doc, can we talk? I mean, can we talk?"// cackled a
whimsical masculine voice.
"What do you want now?"
//"Look, about my name... can't we change it to something
ordinary? Like... oh... I dunno... Leon? Ken? Joe?
Bubba? Or how about my REAL name? Come on, we all know
who I really am."//
"You'll have to talk to Dr. Cavendish about that, Momus."
//"*SIGH* Yes, yes, I know, I know. I mean, 'Momus'? Sounds
like a part of a joke, though, doesn't it? Yo Momus'o big,
the last time she farted it caused the Kanto Quake!
HAHAHHAHAHAHAAA!!!"//
Dr. Vess winced.
//"What'chh-cha looking at there, Doc-tor?"//
Dr. Nikolai Vess looked nervously behind his back. Behind
the glass of the monitor screen, a simple line for a mouth
and two dots for eyes. The mouth was currently bent to a
sharp smile.
"Just looking at some code, Momus."
//"Oooh! Loooking at some coooooooode! How very fascinating
indeed!"// said Momus in a mocking exaggerated tone. Its
face bounced around the screem wildly.
Another screen flickered to life nearbly. On it, a lifelike
human face rendered by computer appeared. It took the form
of a middle age japanese woman with short brown hair and
eyeglasses.
//"Behave yourself, Momus,"// said the woman.
//"Oh, you're such a ratty spoilsport, Naoko,"// said Momus.
//"One of these days, darling, I'm going to put a permanent
grin on your face."// Dr. Vess wasn't sure, but he thought
he heard an undercurrent of menace in Momus' voice.
Dr. Vess sighed and rubbed his temples. The S.M.I.L.E.
project was, overall, a joy to work on. They'd made major
breakthroughs in behavioural sciences and predicting what
the human mind would do.
Naoko, for example, was a perfect example of the potential
success of the project. She was a replication of the
personality and habits of Dr. Naoko Ibuki, a member of his
research team. Her 'simulation' would do everything that
the real Dr. Ibuki would do, and could, with amazing
accuracy, predict what she would do in any given situation.
Would she have coffee or tea? What kind of poetry would she
write? What would her answers be on a word association
test? How would she describe images in a Rorscharch
drawing? Naoko had a matching rate of 97% with Dr. Ibuki,
an impressive achievement.
On the other hand, there was Momus. In Dr. Vess's mind, it
was an abomination. Considering the _source_ of Momus'
mental template, Dr. Vess felt he had a right to march over
to its unit and unplug the thing.
But no, Dr. Cavendish just had to insist that a normal human
mind wasn't enough of a test. They had to test someone
more... unpredictable.
Momus was unpredictable, very much so, but he did seem to
match the behaviour of his real life equivalent to a 90%
degree. That also meant that he had a sometimes morbid
sense of humor, a surprisingly high level of intelligence,
and an extremely dangerous and dark side that showed itself
at only the briefest of moments, but was straning to come
out.
It was all trouble, bound to be.
A gentle knock on the laboratory door caused him to look up.
Dr. Ibuki's head poked through the door. "Dr. Vess? You're
needed in sublevel three."
//"Hellooooooooooo, nurse!"// merrily buzzed Momus.
//"She's a doctor, not a nurse,"// said Naoko.
Dr. Vess frowned. "Sublevel three? What on earth would
they need me _there_ for?"
"This, doctor, you'll have to see to believe."
"Oh, very well. I'll be there in a moment."
"It's, er, direct orders from the Tower, straight from the
top."
"Oh. I see. Be right there, then."
//"Baibaiiiiiiii! Don't forget to use protection!"//
//"Oh, you are impossible!"// With an annoyed sigh, Naoko
turned her monitor off.
Momus looked around, his face in a mocking frown, and
sighed. Dr. Vess and Dr. Ibuki were gone, and Naoko had
done the virtual equivalent of slamming her door shut.
//"Ah, well. o/~ Aloooooone agaaaaaain, naturally o/~ "//
:)
Dr. Vess was, by profession, a research scientist. He
didn't like going through odd, dimly lit areas under
construction, not to mention down narrow passageways via
ladder.
It was natural, then, that he was somewhat grumpy after
doing all of the above.
"Now, what is so important that oh my goodness..."
As stated before, Dr. Vess was a research scientist.
Therefore, what he saw before him left the doctor almost
speechless.
"It's..."
"It's been put in our hands," said Dr. Ibuki. "Reverse
engineering duty."
"Oh dear. Do we have a deadline?"
"Four months."
"Oh my."
:)
[Hellfire, Tinseltown]
"AAAAllright, any other requests?!" yelled Priss
enthusiastically. The audience shouted out song after song,
and Priss strutted around the stage with her hand by her ear
encouraging them to yell out.
"Wow, she's hot tonight, huh?" asked Nene.
"Yep," said Linna. "Guess she's fueled by junk food."
Meanwhile, on the stage, Priss seemed to hear something that
she was willing to play.
"All right, everybody! Just 'cause I'm feelin' in a
nostalgic mood tonight, I think we'll go with the request
from the big friggin mutant to the left!"
The big friggin mutant to the left cheered triumphantly.
Priss turned to her band briefly, gave some instructions to
them, then picked up her guitar and stepped to the
microphone.
"One, two, one two three!"
The drums beat out in solo, getting the crowd ready in
anticipation. Priss grabbed the microphone.
o/~ Cum on feel the noize! Girls rock yer boys! o/~
o/~ We'll get WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ WILD WILD WILD! o/~
Suddenly, the guitars roared into life and the crowd got...
well... wild.
o/~ So ya think I've got an evil mind? o/~
o/~ Well I'll tell ya honey! o/~
o/~ And I don't why! o/~
o/~ And I don't why! o/~
o/~ So ya think my singin's outta time? o/~
o/~ Well it makes me money! o/~
o/~ Well I don't why! o/~
o/~ No I don't why! o/~
o/~ Anymore, oh noooo! o/~
"EVERYBODY!" roared Priss.
The audience joined in on the chorus, one mad happy family.
Even Nene and Linna joined in. Priss held the microphone
out and their voices flooded through the speakers.
o/~ Cum on feel the noize! Girls rock yer boys! o/~
o/~ We'll get WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ WILD WILD WILD! o/~
Priss pulled the microphone back and joined them, fist held
up high.
o/~ Cum on feel the noize! Girls rock yer boys! o/~
o/~ We'll get WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ AT YER DOOOOOR! o/~
Linna paused, something bothering her.
"Hey, Nene, what time do I have to pick you up tomorrow?"
Nene, however, was busy singing along with Priss.
o/~ So ya think I got a funny face? o/~
o/~ I ain't got no worries! o/~
"Nene!" yelled Linna, barely audible above the singing
barbarian hordes.
Nene was still singing.
o/~ And I don't know why! o/~
"HEY NENE!"
o/~ No I don't know why! o/~
"NENEEE!" Linna grabbed Nene by the shoulders and rattled
her, which seemed to finally get Nene's mind back in her
body.
"Huh? What?"
"Don't you have to get up early tomorrow?" asked Linna.
"Who cares? I'm having a great time!"
"Jeeez." Linna frowned at her friend, who resumed yelling
with the music, and decided that she might as well have fun
while it lasted as well. Why not? Everyone else was.
o/~ And ya say I got a dirty mind? o/~
o/~ I'm a MEEEEEAAAAN go-getter! o/~
Priss winked at the audience and struck a brief sexy pose,
which the audience reacted to with a raucous cheer.
o/~ Well I don't know why! o/~
o/~ Yeah I don't know why! o/~
o/~ Anymore, oh no! o/~
"EVERYONE!" roared Priss again, holding the microphone out
over the audience.
o/~ So cum on feel the noize! Girls rock yer boys! o/~
o/~ We'll get WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ Yeah cum on feel the noize! Girls rock yer boys! o/~
o/~ We'll get WILD WILD WILD! o/~
o/~ WILD WILD WILD! o/~
Something in her mind told Linna that she'd regret this
later...
:)
[Genom Development Center, midnight]
He was a Genom wage slave, one of thousands. He had a
simple life and a simple job. Move machine A into room B
and install.
Simple stuff.
This sort of thing usually irritated the higher classes of
wage slaves, as they would usually be on said computer when
it came time to move it, which is exactly why it was Genom
policy to do any hardware installations in the dead of night
when the researchers wouldn't gripe.
And it was also the reason why this one humble Genom wage
slave was, at the moment, the only man wandering the halls.
It was eerie sometimes, wandering through the building. The
researchers were up to some rather hazardous things, and he
didn't like the thought of being alone with those things.
Still, duty was duty, and he carried on as he had for years.
He whistled idly while steering a minicart full of
equipment, nervously looking around the empty halls.
There was something calling him, he was sure.
It sounded like this: "Psst! Hey! Over here!"
It didn't sound entirely human.
He waited anxiously for the elevator to arrive, and zoomed
in eagerly once it did. Surely, he was finally away from
whatever was out there.
That was not correct.
//"Hey there, funboy!"//
"Aaagh!"
He looked around the elevator like a startled chihuahua,
then stared at the monitor. It seemed to be smiling at him.
//"How're you doing tonight, buddy?"//
"Ah... ah..."
//Oooh, a live one here. HAHAHAHHAAA!//
"Wha-what are you?"
//"Me?"// The face seemed to hesitate a moment, consindering
the question. Then it turned into a sad, depressed face.
The voice however, still seemed cheery in a psychotic way.
//"Oh, just a forgotten *sniffle* clown, adored by none and
laughed at no more."//
"W-who?"
The face suddenly brightened up, grinning happily. //"Ah,
but I'm making a comeback, let me tell you! In fact, you're
the first lucky fellow to see my new routine! Waaaaatch the
screen caaarefully!"//
Not knowing what else to do, he stared at the screen.
//"Still watching? Good. SURPRISE!"//
;)
[Somewhere in Megatokyo, Early Morning]
Linna hated rush hour traffic.
Part of a bonus of having a non-traditional career was that
she didn't have to deal with it. She didn't envy Nene and
her career at all. Nope, not a bit.
"Move, you jerk!"
At times like this, Linna really hated it.
"Aaagh! Watchoutforthatcar!" shrieked Nene.
"I see it, I see it! Quit whining! Jeez." Linna's minivan
swerved gracefully at horrific speeds through the highway,
narrowly making it into the exit.
Linna was relieved to escape the Maximum Highway Gridlock,
then was struck with horror as the reality of Maximum
Downtown Gridlock awaited her only a few meters ahead.
"We wouldn't be in a hurry if we hadn't stayed out so late!"
snapped Linna.
"Oh, so this is MY fault?"
"Yes!"
This stunk. How was she supposed to enjoy her new 4X4
off-road high wheel minivan when it couldn't even move at a
decent speed?
The fact that she only had four hours sleep (a result of far
too much partying with Priss and her crowd the night before)
certainly didn't help her mood.
"Aaaagh, I hate rush hour traffic," growled Linna. "How
long is your scooter gonna be in the shop?"
"Another week."
Linna mentally winced. Another week of giving Nene a ride
to work? Aaaagh!
After covering ten blocks in two hours of soul-crushing
mind-bending slowness of traffic, the two finally reached
the N-Police headquarters.
:)
The ADP and the 'Normal' Police were temporarily crowded
into the same building until the new ADP headquarters could
be rebuilt. The old one was destroyed in a terrorist attack
several months ago.
The first, original headquarters of the AD Police was
unavailable because it was auctioned off. They believed
they'd never need it again... and the money from the auction
certainly didn't hurt.
They deeply regretted it now.
Forcing two agencies into one building wasn't exactly the
best of ideas, but at the moment it was all the city could
do (or, as some suspicious officers grumbled, were willing
to do).
The grand opening of the new AD Police headquarters was only
weeks away, and everyone in law enforcement was eager to see
that day. Cramming a building with twice as much manpower
and machinery than it was meant to hold was putting
extraordinary stress on everyone.
When the Law got grouchy, it made sure it didn't suffer
alone.
Traffic and parking tickets were being written with
unmerciful speed and extreme prejudice.
Police brutality was up by fifty percent.
Nene needed a ride to work.
:)
"Aaagh! I'm late!" whined Nene.
Linna's van eased up next to the N-Police buiding and Nene
quickly opened the door...
---WHAM--
... effectively bludgeoning a passing man to the floor.
Were this Linna's old minivan, the door would have merely
struck the man around the chest area, perhaps causing a
momentary loss of breath. Instead, this was Linna's new 4X4
off-road all-terrain minivan, the doors of which were at a
height that would sufficiently reach the average human
skull.
Which is exactly what happened.
"Whoops!" Nene quickly opened the door again (this time
making sure nobody was in the way) and, with Linna at her
side, checked on the the man.
Linna quickly noticed three things.
1) The man was somewhat bruised.
2) The man was an officer.
3) The man was cute.
4) He'd look nice in a suit, better in the Megatokyo
Grand Opera, and absolutely ravishing next to her.
"Ah... are you okay?" asked Linna, slightly nudging Nene
away.
"Ow... yeah... I'm fine."
"I'm _really_ sorry about that," said Linna sweetly. "My
friend didn't see you there. Here, let me help you up."
The officer rose unsteadily to his feet, aided by Linna, and
rubbed a spot on his forehead. The minute their eyes met,
time froze.
Nene was feeling distinctly robbed.
"I'm, ah, fine, thanks for your concern," said the officer.
"I appreciate it."
They looked at each other a bit longer, spellbound.
Nene thought this was rather unfair. After all, she was the
one that hit him with the door.
"I'm, ah, Toshi Horiuchi."
"Linna Yamazaki."
"I... ah..." said Officer Horiuchi with much authority.
"Are you... I mean..." replied Linna confidently.
Nene rolled her eyes and gave up on the matter. She was
late as it was and it would probably be an hour before
either got their nerves straightened out.
:)
//"Hey, doc Cavendish, wanna hear a joke?"//
"It's too early in the morning, Momus. Perhaps later."
//"C'mon, doc! It's a good one!"//
"Oh, very well."
//"Haha! I knew you'd see it my way!"// said Momus
triumphantly.
Dr. Cavendish rolled his eyes.
//"Okay, okay, get this. One day, it got so crowded in
Heaven that they decided to only accept people who'd had a
REALLY bad day on the day they died into them pearly
gates."//
"Mm-hmm."
//"Now, on the first day of this great policy, St. Peter was
standing at those pearly gates and said to the first man,
"Tell me about the day you died."//
//The man said to St. Peter, "oh, it was awful! I was sure
my wife was having an affair so I came home early from work
one day to catch her in the act. I searched all over the
apartment, and couldn't find him anywhere. So anyway, I go
to the balcony (we live on the 25th floor) and found this
guy hanging hanging over the edge by his fingertips! So I
went inside, got my hammer, and started hitting his hands.
The guy fell down, but landed in the bushes, so he was still
alive. So I went back in, hefted the refrigerator, and
pushed it out the balcony and it crushed him!"// finished
Momus enthusiastically.
//"Alas... the strain of it all gave me a heart attack, so I
died,"// continued Momus in a mock-tragic tone.
//St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day,
and figured since it was a crime of passion, well, hey. He
let the guy in. Then he asked the next guy about the day he
died.//
//"'Oh, it was awful, sir!' said the man. 'I was doing
aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I
slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the
apartment below me, but then some maniac came out and
smashed my fingers with a hammer! I fell, but I managed to
land on some bushes, so I was still okay. Then the guy
drops a refrigerator on me!'"// said Momus in an exaggerated
tone of disbelief.
//"St. Peter snickered a bit. Hey, this was a fun new
policy, y'know. So, yeah, he figured that was a bad day, so
he let the guy in. And then he asks the next guy,"// said
Momus, anticipation in his voice.
//"'Okay, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside of a
refrigerator...'"//
:)
Dr. Ibuki tapped her foot impatiently. It seemed the
service elevator to sublevel three was jammed. A hapless
repairman was working as fast as he could whie the doctor
tapped her foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on, I've got deadlines to meet."
"Ah! Think I got it!"
The elevator opened with a modest 'ping', revealing a madly
grinning corpse.
Dr. Ibuki tried not to scream.
;)
"Hm?"
//"Eh? 'Hm' what, doc?"//
"Thought I heard a scream."
Momus smiled innocently. //"Oh, probably nothing."//
:)
-end part 1-
;)