-- Chris Davies -- Washu stretched as she stepped out of the portal from the house in Tokyo to the Masaki household. As fun as it was to observe the antics of her housemates, she felt a definite need to come back and give her errant daughter some motherly affection. And do some tests ... She wandered down to the kitchen, noticing as she did that everything seemed unusually peaceful. There was actually a strange aura of calm about the place. It was surprising, considering the notorious bad tempers of two of its usual inhabitants ... Washu was even more surprised when she saw Tenchi hard at work in the kitchen. He was chopping up carrots and humming a nice tune. "Tenchi-dono?" she asked, blinking. "Ah! Washuu-chan!" he said, turning and smiling warmly. "How are you enjoying Tokyo? We've all been watching your show, it's very entertaining!" "Uh, fine, thank you ... Tenchi-dono, are you *cooking*?" Tenchi nodded enthusiastically. "Sasami-chan is ... well, I thought she was working a little too hard, so I decided to help out." Washu smiled. He was *such* a nice guy. It was really no surprise that all the girls who called this place home -- and a certain pair who lived in town -- had fallen helplessly for him. Including, Washu thought with a certain amount of regret, herself. But that thought led inevitably to another. "Tenchi-dono, where are Aeka and Ryoko?" Tenchi thought for a moment. "Hm. I think they're probably off taking a walk in the woods together." "Together?" Washu asked, startled. Tenchi nodded ... and then a look of understanding dawned on his face. "Oh, that's right. You weren't here when they finally admitted that they were in love with each other." Washu's jaw dropped. "Wha ... wha ..." It had been several millenia since she'd been this surprised. "Yes, Aeka finally admitted that the real reason she said that she thought Ryoko was ugly was because she couldn't deal with how beautiful she actually found her, and Ryoko admitted that she only thought of me as a little brother ... it was very moving." "Well. Well, that's ... nice," Washu said. "Anything else interesting happen while I was away?" "Well, Mihoshi and Kiyone came by to tell us that they were getting married." This *was* surprising, though not nearly surprising as the other news had been. "Really? I thought Kiyone hated Mihoshi ..." "Oh no! She was just annoyed that someone she loved so much kept pretending to be so stupid and inept. Mihoshi's real self is a lot brighter and competent. She actually reminds me of you, Washu-chan!" Washuu blinked. Now there was a phrase that she'd never expected to hear. "Oh ... there is one other thing." Tenchi blushed. "I found someone to love too." "Oh?" asked Washu as she felt her heart shatter into billions of pieces. "Yeah! I'm sure that you'll *love* him! He's great!" Turning to the corridor, he called out. "Makoto-chan! There's someone I want you to meet!" "Hai!" came a very definitely male voice. Washu reeled. This was unbelievable. She'd come home to find out that everything had changed completely ... everything but ... She heard a step behind her. Washu turned around slowly. Sasami was barefoot, dressed only in a sleeveless tabard belted around her waist, showing off a lot of leg ... and staring up at her with naked desire in her eyes. "Washu-oneesama ..." she breathed softly. "Agh!" Washu cried as she awoke. She made a silent oath to never, EVER eat flarn before taking a nap again ... especially not after watching Urd and Nuku-Nuku make out ... Coming Soon: THE (Sur)REAL WORLD: LESBIAN EPISODES! That day, Mamoru showed up for breakfast with a haunted expression. "Hey, what's wrong Tux Boy?" Urd asked while crunching on some Cereal Crispies. Mamoru didn't even bother rising to the taunt. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." He paused. "Unless you think that my girl friend admitting that she's in love with someone else is a sign of trouble in our relationship." "Whoah," Ataru said. "Your girl's cheating on you with another guy?" Mamoru fixed the Sukebe from Tomobiki with a glare. "Actually, no. She's in love with one of her best friends ... another girl. I suppose it's my own fault for leaving her alone so long ..." Reactions to this news varied. Ranma immediately felt ill. His homophobic tendencies were very strong, and the fact that he still felt attracted to -- uh, girls other than a certain uncute unsexy macho tomboy when he was female only added to them, rather than destroying them. The thought that a certain uncute unsexy macho tomboy might try to find comfort in the arms of another woman caused a brief stabbing pain in his stomach, but it was relieved shortly by the realization that if no *man* could possibly want someone as uncute unsexy and macho as she was, what *woman* would either? Ataru immediately thought of Lum doing things with Shinobu, Ryuunosuke, Benten, Oyuki, Lan, and a number of other girls -- for some reason, Noa Izumi from the anime Mobile Police Patlabor was among them -- and collapsed drooling. Kyosuke immediately thought of Ayukawa and Hikaru-chan together ... and calmed himself. It was a ridiculous idea. They were JUST best friends. There was no reason to think otherwise. On the other hand, presumably, Mamoru had thought the same thing about *his* girl friend and *her* best friend ... and for some reason, Mamoru reminded Kyosuke of himself ... Washuu immediately thought of her nightmare from last night, and shuddered, while looking at Ataru and wondering how in the world he'd been able to dehydrate himself that swiftly. Nuku-Nuku immediately blinked. "Oh! Tux Boy's girlfriend was doing the same things we were doing last night, Urd-sempai!" she said aloud. Urd immediately gulped. "Kids say the darnedest things, don't they?" AND LATER ON, MEET THE NEWEST RESIDENT! "Good day, my name is Daitokuji Biko, and GOOD LORD WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS CREATURE?" "Um ... Nuku-Nuku desu!" "SHE WILL BE MINE!"