-- Sapphire -- Mihoshi's Visit =============== by Sapphire The Blue Tigress (safyr@juno.com) A parody of the fanfic, The Surreal World. *** [Holding a basket, Mihoshi knocks on the front door of a nice-looking house.] *knock* *knock* M: Ara... Anyone home? [Someone suddenly rushes out the door, nearly bowling Mihoshi over, and down the street. Mihoshi blankly stares at the rapidly diminishing figure, then blinks, and turns to the now open door. Shrugging, she goes in.] M: Ano... Is anyone here? [In the living room, Ranma and Nuku-Nuku are watching TV. They look up from the couch at the sound of her voice.] R: (suspiciously) Hey! Who are you? N: (smiling) Yay! A new friend to play with! M: (bowing) Konnichiwa! I'm Mihoshi! I came to visit Washuu! Sorry for stepping in like this but the person who let me in just ran out without saying anything. R: Tux-boy. Figures. M: Who? R: Mamoru. M: Oh. N: What's in the basket? M: (holding the basket up) Just some fruit and some Western pudding that Sasami-chan made. N: Any fish? M: Sorry, no. Is Washuu in? R: Don't know. N: Let's find out! [The three go over to Washuu's door. Mihoshi knocks on the door when a loud explosion is heard from upstairs.] *BOOM* [A singed Ataru tumbles down the stairs and lands at their feet.] A: (whining) Ouch! I only wanted to help her wash her back! [A freshly bathed and irritated Urd comes down and joins them.] U: (glaring at Ataru) That wasn't my back you were groping! [Washuu's door opens and she steps out holding something.] W: What's all the commotion about? M: (turning to Washuu) Konnichiwa, Washuu-chan! I came to visit you! [At the sound of a new female voice, Ataru leaps up and glomps Mihoshi, knocking her into Washuu. Unfortunately, Mihoshi's basket tips over and the fruit and pudding spills onto Washuu's gadget.] *BOOM* [Everyone picks themselves up from the floor and blink to clear their eyes from the bright blast.] A: (seeing he's on Mihoshi) AAaahhh!! A G-g-girl!! [Panicking, he leaps off her. Looking around and seeing the rest of the girls, he screams again and tries to hide behind Ranma.] R: Hey! Knock it off! What's wrong with you? (tries to get out of Ataru's grip but finds he can't) [Nuku-Nuku tries to go around Ranma but Ataru keeps Ranma in front of him.] N: (in a sexy voice) Ne, Ataru-chan, don't you want to _play_ with me? A: (scared) N-No! Keep away from me! [Mihoshi, ignoring the byplay, studies the sticky mess that was Washuu's gadget. Urd comes closer to the group.] U: Why do I feel so strange? What happened, Washuu? W: (blinking) Ara... I don't know. M: (seriously) What were you working on before you opened your door? W: (blankly) Ano... I think I called it a Personality Polarizer... R: (still trying to get away from Ataru and Nuku-Nuku) What does that mean? M: Well, if it's what I think it is, all of our personalities have changed so that our most dominant traits are now our weakest traits and vice versa. For example, the strongest person in the world would be the weakest and the dumbest person in the world would be a genius. [Urd who had been staring blankly at the fruit-and-pudding-covered gadget suddenly blinked.] U: (pulling out a cleaning rag) Oh my! This mess will take hours to clean! (starts cleaning up) [Everyone, except Ataru and Nuku-Nuku who are still circling Ranma, stare at the sight of Urd doing a domestic chore voluntarily.] R: (turning to Mihoshi) Like that? M: (nodding) Exactly. [Urd suddenly stops, blinks, and gazes uncomprehensively at what she was doing.] U: (dropping the rag) What the heck am I doing?!? (blinks, looks down at her clothes, and frowns slightly) Oh my! This is very improper! I must go and change! [Urd heads demurely upstairs, stops, turns around, and stalks back.] U: (grabbing Washuu and glaring) You better fix this or else I'll... (blinks, lets Washuu go) Oh, I'm so sorry! It was very impolite of me to grab you like that. Please forgive me. M: Hmm... It looks like the affects of the polarizer are proportional to the proximity of the subject to the source of the blast... W: (blinking) Ara... Why is Urd acting so strange?... M: Why don't you use your computer? W: I know! I'll use my computer to figure it out! [Washuu pulls out her computer and starts typing. Pretty soon it starts beeping at her.] W: (frowning) Why won't this work?!? M: (taking Washuu's place) Maybe because you locked the keyboard? Here, let me try... (starts typing) W: (looking around) Where did Ataru, Ranma, and Nuku-Nuku go? U: I think they went into the kitchen. That reminds me... I better start lunch. [Washuu and Urd enter the kitchen to see that Nuku-Nuku had backed Ataru and Ranma into the corner. Urd heads straight for the stove while Washuu heads towards the trio.] W: Ano... are you playing a game? N: We're playing cat and mouse but Ataru-chan is cheating. (pouts a bit) W: You shouldn't cheat, Ataru! R: (still trying to get away) We aren't playing, Washuu-chan! Let go of me, Ataru! A: (shivering and hiding) G-G-g-g-girls!!! W: Are you sure you're not playing a game, Ranma? R: I'm sure! Can you make Ataru let me go, please? W: Okay. (gets closer) N: Ataru-chan, let's go up to my room and we'll play a different game! (giggles) A: (cringing even further into the corner) Get away! Get away! AAaaahhhh!!! [The pressure soon becomes too much for Ataru and using Ranma as a human mallet, he swings Ranma around, knocking the girls backwards and clearing a space around him.] W: Ouch! That hurt! Ataru and Ranma are so mean! WWwaaahhh!!! [Mihoshi appears at the door with the patched gadget.] M: I fixed it! Now to test it. (pushes a button) *ZAP* U: (drops the pan) Finally! I can't believe I was cooking and cleaning! R: (finally twists out of Ataru's grasp) Whew! I can't believe I couldn't get away from Ataru! A: (tries to glomp Nuku-Nuku) Sure, Nuku-Nuku! Let's play in your room! N: (punching Ataru away) Did I really ask Ataru-kun to play in my room? W: (stops crying and hugs herself) Yay! I'm back to my cute genius self! M: (turns to the cameraman) Ara... What just happened? [Noticing who Mihoshi is talking to, everyone turns to the cameraman with evil glares as they realize that he had been taping the whole thing.] A: If anybody found out that I ran away from a pretty girl I'd be ruined! U: There's no way I'm letting Skuld see me like that! R: If any of the guys back home find out about that polarizer thing, I'd be dead meat! [The three of them jump the cameraman and a large dust cloud filled with flailing limbs forms.] N: Nuku-Nuku is confused! But Nuku-Nuku wants to play, too! (jumps into the fray) W: (looks suspiciously at Mihoshi) Are you sure you're back to normal? M: (ditzily) Ara... Was I acting weird, Washuu-chan? I hope not. I don't want Tenchi-san to think I'm weird. [Washuu, apparently satisfied, pulls out her computer and starts scanning the repaired gadget.] [Fadeout.] [Fade in on Washuu's lab. Washuu wakes up in front of her computer.] W: (yawning) What a strange dream! Imagine, Mihoshi being smarter than me! (laughs) *BOOM* [Washuu turns toward a figure walking out of a smoky cloud. As it clears, we see Mihoshi, with her eyes closed and hands stretched out, wandering around.] M: *cough* *cough* Washuu-chan, where are you? I can't see! Oh no, I'm blind! Wwwaaahhh!! W: Open your eyes, Mihoshi. I'm right here. M: (stops walking and opens her eyes) Washuu-chan! I can see again! You're so smart! W: *sigh* What happened this time, Mihoshi? M: (suddenly stands up straight and looks serious) Well, I wanted to combine gluten, theobroma cacao, calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein, methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde, partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride, refined halite, .... W: *blink* *blink* Ano... M: (blinks and relaxes) ...I just wanted to make some chocolate chip cookies! [Washuu facefaults.] [Fadeout.] EOF.