-- Scott Jamison -- (Scene: The TV room. Urd is watching soaps while Washuu works on yet another complicated device with lots of blinking lights (tm).) TV: And now a word from our sponsor! (Urd hits "mute" on the remote control and turns to Washuu.) Urd: So what's today's project, oh cutest genius in the galaxy? Washuu: Universe. As you know, but new people tuning in for the first time may not, Ataru Moroboshi has been getting a little out of hand lately. Urd (nods): I follow you so far. I may enjoy a little fun now and again, but that boy takes it way beyond the limit. Washuu: So, I was thinking, Ataru's the most obnoxious letch in this universe...but what about other universes? Urd: You're trying to contact the most obnoxious letch from some other universe in hopes of setting Ataru against him in a contest that would destroy them both? Washuu: No, though that does sound like fun. I was thinking more along the lines of replacing our Ataru with one from an alternate universe where he was less annoying. Urd: Neeat. But, won't that other universe get stuck with our Ataru? Washuu: Only temporarily. We'll put them back when we all move out. Urd: So, how's it work? Washuu: Well, the Trandimensional Vocally-Activated Reprositronic Amalgamafier works on a very simple principle first discovered by myself over three thousand y-- Urd: I mean, how do you operate it? Washuu: (grumbling) No appreciation for details... (normal) You simply push this button (points) and speak the desired result. Simple as pi. Urd: Okay, just push this little doohickey (pushes it; the device starts glowing) and then we'll all be one big happy family-- (The device explodes in a burst of violet-red light.) Urd (V.O.): Oops. (The screen goes black for a moment; then a "Technical Difficulties: Please Stand By" sign appears.) (The TV room reappears; Urd is now alone, dressed in a calf-length dress and apron, and peeling potatos while watching the soaps. She suddenly starts.) Urd: What the *bleep!* is going on here? Where's Washuu? (Mamoru enters. Somehow he looks a bit older.) Mamoru: Washuu-chan? She's still finishing up her school project. Urd: School project? Since when is Washuu in school, Tux-boy? Mamoru: Since she was six, Sugarmuffin. Urd: Sugarmuffin? (Mamoru sweeps her up in his arms and gives Urd a passionate kiss.) Urd: Whoa! Not that I mind, but what brought that on? Mamoru: Since when do I need an excuse to kiss my own wife? Urd: Wife!? (Closeup on their hands reveals each is wearing a wedding ring.) Urd: Wife... (Ataru and female Ranma enter. Ranma's wearing a sailor suit school uniform. She looks very angry.) Ranma-chan: Mooom! Ataru's been pawing through my underwear drawer again! Ataru: Have not! I was just looking for my little black book! Like I'd want to touch your underwear anyway. How I ever ended up with an uncute tomboy like you for a sister, I'll never know! Ranma-chan: Uncute!? You take that back right now, or... (hefts a mallet.) Mamoru: Now, twins, play nice in the house. You don't want to make your mother upset. Urd: I'm...*their* mother...? Mamoru: Now, dear, don't tell me you don't remember our four children. Urd: Four? (Kyousuke enters, arm in a sling.) Kyousuke: Hi Mom, hi Dad, hi twins. Urd: Okay, that makes three... What happened to your arm? Kyousuke: Oh, Madoka tossed me again. I don't want to seem disrespectful, Mom, but your love advice sucks. Ataru: Hey, it works for me. Ranma-chan: *You* she advised to date the blind. (Ataru and Ranma stick their tongues out at each other.) (Washuu-chan comes in, carrying what looks like a model of Tokyo Tower built of popsicle sticks.) Washuu-chan: Look! I'm done! Urd: That's nice. Uh, what is it? Washuu-chan: It's a model of Tokyo Tower built of popsicle sticks! And boy was it hard to make! (Urd facefaults.) Urd (picking herself up): That's nice, Washuu-chan, but don't you have that Transdimensional whatsis handy to get us out of this mess? Washuu-chan: Trans-what? Mom, I'm only 12 years old, not some mad scientist. Urd: Oh. Wait a minute, isn't there someone missing? Mamoru: Right! Here, Nuku-Nuku, here girl! (A magenta-furred panther bounds into the room, puts its paws up on Mamoru's chest and licks his face.) Ranma-chan: And to think she was such a tiny kitten when we adopted her! Oh, I'll be late for my date with my boyfriend! Urd: Please, Mr. Wizard, I want to go home! THE END (OR THE BEGINNING?) SKJAM!