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Zen <databank@mindspring.com>

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Divine Intervention

*** O_o ***

Ranma swore again.  At this rate, Akane was never going to trust him.  It
was just so damned unfair!  He hadn't asked for any of this!  It wasn't his
fault!  But no matter what happened, Akane always seemed to find a way to
blame *him*.

Ranma trotted over to the next post location.  He'd taken on a small job
that weekend setting fence posts around the perimeter of a local estate.
He'd hoped that he might earn enough pocket money to maybe take Akane out
on a date.

The date idea, though, had fallen through.  Ranma had heard that Akane was
still mad at him for moving into a house full of strange women.  It hadn't
helped that she had seen Urd and Nuku on the TV.  But her attitude was more
than Ranma could stand.  Simply put, no matter how many times he had fought
for her, no matter how many times he had faced death to protect her, no
matter how many times he had done the impossible just to keep her safe, she
didn't have any faith in him.  Where was the justice in that?

Still, he had committed to the job, and there were always uses for the
money.  Snarling to himself, Ranma picked up the fence-post and proceeded
to set it in the ground.  The treated timbers were a little ungainly, three
meters in length, and twenty five centimeters square, but Ranma was finding
the job surprisingly easy.  He glanced over toward a large tree against
which a sledge hammer, a pick, and a shovel were leaning.  Idly he wondered
what they were for.

**** O_O ****

At six that evening, Ranma rang the bell at his employer's door.  He was
admitted by a servant, and asked to wait in the foyer whilst the master was
summoned.  The hallway was tasteful in its elegance, decorated with a stark
simplicity that Ranma found oddly satisfying.  He had led a spartan life
himself, and while he liked to have things, he was not as impressed by
baubles and possessions for their own sakes.

Noting the calligraphy that hung on the wall in the alcove, Ranma smiled.
You had to respect a man who welcomed others into his home with a quote
from Sun Tzu.

"Aaah, young man," the voice of the elderly man startled Ranma somewhat.
He moved very quietly for one of his advanced years.  He turned to see the
old man smiling at him.  "And what time should I expect to see you back
tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Ranma asked, confused.

"To set the rest of the posts."

"You have *more* of them?"

The man blinked owlishly and looked at Ranma over his glasses.  "My boy,
there are over one hundred and twenty of those posts that need to be set."

Ranma nodded.  "Yes sir.  One hundred twenty seven, that I found.  All are
in the marked places, set to two meters, just like you said."

"You have set them *all*?"

"Yes sir."

"This I must see.  If what you say is true, I shall pay you twice the
agreed amount!"

Together they left the house to survey Ranma's work.  The old man gazed
about, a look of pure astonishment on his features.  Each and every post
was in its proper position, and ramrod straight.  "I don't believe it!" he
gasped.

Ranma shrugged.  "I don't see why not.  It was an easy job."

A gentle laugh.  "Please forgive an old man his skepticism, my boy.  Good
workers are so hard to find these days.  Come and I will pay you for your
labours."  The old man headed back toward the house with Ranma following.
A note of amusement crept into his voice as he continued.  "Just one thing.
When I said 'set them at two meters', I meant for you to set them with two
meters of their length *above* the ground."

Ranma looked sheepish.  "Oh."

**** O_O ****

Mamoru lounged on one of the sofas, reading a newspaper, while Kyousuke sat
on the other, wiping down one of his telephoto lenses with a special cloth.
Kyousuke's gadget bag occupied a spot on the floor, and his equipment
littered the top of the the coffee table.  On the floor opposite Kyousuke,
Ranma did stretching exercises.

As Ranma finished his warmups and began the next set of stretches, Ataru
meandered in.

"Hey, what're you doin' here?" the pervert asked.  "I thought you were
gonna take out that fiancee of yours..."

Ranma grimaced.  "Naw... she's ticked at me again.  I sure don't need that
kind of aggravation."

"Well, then, why doncha ask out someone else?"

"You have *got* to be kidding me.  Besides, who would I ask?"

"Well, you got three other fiancees..."

"DON'T remind me... and it's TWO other fiancees."  Ranma appeared to
consider it for a moment.  "Nahh... if I ask any of them, Akane really
*will* kill me.  She's always so angry - that'd drive her over the edge."

"You know... I don't understand that..." Ataru mused.  "I mean, why does
she get so upset about that if she doesn't want to marry you in the first
place?"

Ranma sighed.  "Damned if I know."

"Well, there *are* other girls...  You could always ask that cute
red-headed waitress from Akie's."

"What, you mean Nuku Nuku?"

"Naw, the *other* one... that really hot red-head with the pig-tail."  A
note of jealousy crept into Ataru's voice.  "She's got it for you bad..."

Ranma looked nervous.  "What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one thing," chimed in Kyousuke, still cleaning his lenses,
"she's always sneaking into your room in the evenings."

"She... she is?"  Ranma paled..  "You're imagining things."

Kyousuke grinned.  "Nope - got proof."  From a pocket on his camera bag, he
flipped a couple of photographs onto the table.  The pictures were of
Ranma-chan, still dressed in her Akie's uniform, skulking in through
Ranma's second floor window.

Looking at the incriminating photographs, Ranma sighed.  "I gotta introduce
you to Nabiki.  The two of you would get along just great."

Grabbing one of the snaps, a lecherous grin spread across Ataru's face.
"Why, you *sly* dog, you!"

Ranma gulped.  "Really!  It's not like that!"

"Suuure, it's not,"  Ataru winked conspiratorially.  "Don't worry, man.  We
won't tell anyone.  Eh, Kyousuke?"

"Our lips are sealed," agreed the esper.

Ranma thought fast.  "Really!  Look, guys... ya see... she's my cousin."

"Your cousin?"

"Yah.  Her name's Ranko.  She's got no place to go, so I let her crash in
my room at nights.  It's only until she can find a place of her own... I
couldn't just toss her out on the street, ya know?"

Ataru leered and said, "Hey, man, just tell her she can stay in *my* room.
I'll take care of her!"

"I don't *think* so," growled Ranma.

"Why not?" whined the lecher.  "You got all those other girls chasing after
you!  You don't have to be so selfish!"

"Hey!  Now that wasn't *my* idea!  I didn't ask for any of them!"

"You're telling me," Ataru's tone was disbelieving, "that you have all
these gorgeous women chasing after you, and you *don't* like it?"

"It's really not so great," Ranma said miserably.  "I mean I guess it's
flattering and all, but it's a lot more trouble than fun.  Believe me."

Ataru thought about that for a moment.  "Oddly enough, I do.  I can see
your point," he said at last.  "Things got crazier since Lum came around,
but they sure aren't any more *fun*..."

Ranma nodded.  "Crazy is the word all right.  And everyone wants to take it
out on *me*.  Akane hits me when she thinks I've done something wrong,
which is pretty much all the time... Ryouga and Kunou want to pound me for
mistreating Akane - Mousse wants to hit me for stealing his girl...  There
just doesn't seem to be an end to it.  No one wants to be my *friend*."

"Yeah...  I know what you mean..." said Ataru in a quiet voice.  And I
thought I was the only one."

Ranma looked at Ataru curiously, waiting for him to elaborate.  When Ataru
remained uncharacteristically silent, he prompted, "Oh?"

Shaking himself out of his sudden lassitude Ataru smiled weakly.  "Yup.
Lum zaps me every time I even *look* at another girl, Shinobu does the same
thing, Megane and his crowd beat me up if I make Lum cry, and do worse when
I try to make her happy.  Then there's Mendou... believe me, I know just
what you're going through."

"I doubt that," muttered Ranma under his breath.  Aloud he said, "Sorry to
hear it."

Mamoru finished reading his newspaper, got up and headed for the stairs.
On the way, he tossed a section of the paper to Ranma.  "Here.  This might
do you two some good," he said.  He walked off shaking his head sadly.
"And I thought *I* had relationship problems..."

Ranma looked at the paper and frowned.  There was an ad circled in the
classifieds.  Over his shoulder, Ataru read out loud; "Support group for
victims of domestic abuse - Meets every other Monday, Nerima Civic Centre.
Call for more information."

Ranma and Ataru looked at each other for a long moment.  "Naaaah," they
said in unison.

Ataru shrugged.  "I could take the rest of it, if my parents didn't hate me."

Thinking back to his father, and his 'unique' training methods, and to the
mother that he would likely never see again as a man, Ranma shuddered.
"Man, *don't* get me started on parents."  He paused for a moment.
"Cripes, this is depressing.  Let's go to the kitchen and snaffle some
grub."

"I'm for that," Ataru said, brightening.  The pair headed through the door,
and toward the refrigerator.  "Look, Ranma... If you want *my* advice, you
need to get away from this violent fiancee of yours..."  Ataru's voice
sounded hollow as he rooted among the bottles and containers in the icebox.
"You're tough, man, but you're not indestructible.  If she doesn't
understand you, the hell with her!"

"Understand me?  I'll say she doesn't understand me -she keeps calling me a
freak, and a pervert.  It's not like I can help it, or nothing!  She's just
so unfair!"

"Exactly!  Just because I like girls doesn't make me a pervert!  And you're
not either!"  Ataru stood up and passed Ranma a bottle of root beer.  "You
gotta stand up for yourself, man!  Tell her to sod off!  You don't need her
if she doesn't want you, right?"

"Well..."

"Oh come on.  There's that Chinese girl that you were talking about... She
seems like a good bet."

"Shampoo?"

"Yeah, that's the one.  She loves ya, right?  The way she's always glomping
on to you..."

Ranma looked uncertain... "I dunno.  Maybe she does.  But I ain't too sure.
I can never tell what she's really thinking."

"Well then, go with your *first* fiancee... the okonomiyaki cook; what did
ya say her name was?"

"What, you mean Ucchan?"

At the mention of 'Ucchan', Urd, who had been sitting at the kitchen table
fiddling with a piece of jewelry, perked up.  "He's got a point," she piped
up.  "From what you've said, she at least, *wants* to marry you!"

Ranma snorted.  "With the exception of Akane, they *all* do that..."

"Ranma, look at me."

Ranma found himself getting lost in the depth of the the most incredible
pair of eyes he'd ever seen.  Urd smiled at him and her voice became almost
hypnotic.  It seemed to carry a special undercurrent, an urgency that
pounded against his awareness like thunder.

"After all," she was saying, "isn't this 'Ukyou' your best friend?"

"Yah, she is that, but..."

"And hasn't she been there for you every time you needed a friend?" Urd
interrupted.

"Yah, but..."

"And does she try and beat you up all the time like the others?"

"No, not *all* the time, but..."

"And she's fed you when you were hungry?"

"Yah, but..."

"And has she ever tried to drug you?"

"No, but..."

"And you think that she's cute, right?"

"Yah, but..."

"But what?" pressed the platinum haired goddess.  "It sure sounds like love
to me."

Ranma had nothing to say to that.  After waiting for the throbbing in his
head to clear a bit, and a few moments of intense consideration, he asked,
"Do you really think so?  I mean... I've never really thought of her in
quite that way before..."

Urd's tone was low... compelling.  "Then isn't it about time you did?  The
girl has given you ten years of ehr life.  That's proof enough for anyone,
wouldn't you say?"

"I guess so, but..."  Ranma trailed off, lost in thought.  What Urd had
said made sense.  He wondered why he'd never seen it before.  It was all so
obvious now.  All it had taken was someone to put it in perspective for
him.  Still, though, there was a last vestige of doubt in his mind.  "Are
you sure...?"

Urd flashed Ranma her most winning smile.  "Of course I'm sure!  Trust me!
I'm the go... This sort of thing is my specialty!"

Ranma thought about that, before coming to a decision.  "Maybe you're
right!" he said, slamming a fist into his open hand.  "I'll do it.  If I'm
gonna marry someone, it darned well ought to be someone who wants to marry
me!  When we get out of this place, I'll grab Ucchan, and it'll be
'Sayonara Akane!'"

Ataru grinned at him and said, "There.  You see?  Feel better now?"

"You bet!" said Ranma.  "Thanks, Urd.  Thanks a lot!"

As Ranma bounced out of the kitchen Urd sighed to herself.  Looking at a
crumpled card in her hand, she muttered quietly, "Well.  *That* was an easy
assignment.  Enjoy your wish, young lady!"  Urd tossed the card away as she
headed for her room.

It read, "Ucchan's Okonomiyaki Ya"

*** O_O ***

Epilogue:

"Well, what do you know... I win again."

"You cheated!"

"I did not!"

"It was a rotten trick!  You're supposed to be the 'good' one!"

The goddess smiled serenely across the game table..  She was lovely, dressed
simply in a blue wraparound tunic and dark slacks, an almost masculine
outfit that did nothing to hide her stunning figure.  Her long, brown hair
was tied back with a large, white ribbon.  The blue diamond on her forehead
matched the colour of her eyes, which flashed with amusement.  "Really,
now, you know better than that.  It was a perfecly legal move!"

Her companion, was a slender but muscular demon with short dark hair.  The
brief yellow robe that she wore emphasized the athletic trim of her thighs,
and the loose sash allowed it to hang open at the front.  It covered her
firm breasts enough to meet the requirements of decency, but only just.
She would have been cute, if it weren't for the angry expression that
twisted her features.

"It was not!  It was Divine Intervention!" she snarled back angrily.  "He
was *mine*!"

"Oh please!" the goddess retorted.  "You're just being a sore loser!
Remember the last game?  I was winning that one, 'til you KILLED him!"

"Huh!  I *still* say that using another Goddess was cheating!"

"Uhmmm... Excuse me..." said a timid voice.

"What do YOU want?" both goddess and demon snarled at the newcomer.
Newcomers.  There were two of them, a goddess with long purple hair, and a
tight silk dress that left nothing to the imagination, and another demon in
a black body suit with a floral motif.

"Hey!  You don't have to get *that* worked up over it!  We just wanted to
know if we could join in the next game!"

"Oh, what the hell," said the first demon.  "Pull up some chairs.  Ucchan,
if you'll reset the board, I'll go get us all some drinks and make us a few
snacks."

The goddess smiled and started to agree when a thought struck her.  "Tell
you what, Akane-chan... YOU set up the board, and I'LL make the snacks this
time."

EOF.


Zen no Itan-sha