==============================================================

   Around Ukyou's, there was once again the large crowd of
people gathered at her okonomiyaki shop.  They weren't there
for the food, though they certainly did buy a fair enough
amount to keep her happy.  They were there to watch another
installment of "The Real World: Tokyo". 
   At first, it was a bit annoying having her rivals there
every week, but they _were_ buying stuff from her so that
made things tolerable.
   And then the Furinkan High crowd in general started
joining in.  Hiroshi, Daisuke, Sayuri, Yuka and all the
others began making it a point to be at Ukyou's every Friday
evening to catch the show.
   There were very perilous moments where extreme property
damage risk jumped up, like when that hussy Nuku kissed
Ranma.  Ukyou dented her stove in rage, and the others were
in a far more volatile mood.
   Nabiki still hadn't found out where Ranma was, and this
was irritating everyone even more.
   However, nothing could be done until Nabiki came through,
so they had to settle for watching Ranma every week with two
beautiful girls (not as beautiful as them, of course), and
a cute girl that could turn into a sexy woman (not as cute
or sexy as any of them, of course).

   "QUIET!" yelled Ukyou.  "SHOWTIME!"

==============================================================
http://www.uh.edu/~rpm/sw/index.html
 
                     =The [sur]Real World=

                         Writer: RpM
              Story Concept: Isabel A. "Izzy-chan" 
                Advisory Board:  The Fanfic ML
                        -M- Productions

 
                             PART 7

                    That Introspection Thing

==============================================================


[picture of the house from the front, with all seven of the
 cast members standing in front of it.]

Voiceover: You've seen them at work

[clip of Ataru zooming down a street, delivering takeout.]

Voiceover: You've seen them at play.

[clip of Ataru bowling, hitting a strike]

Ataru:  YES!

Voiceover: You've seen them at home.

[clip of Ranma in the kitchen]

Ranma: Hey man, we're outta soda!

Ataru: <off screen> Go out and buy some more!

Ranma: YOU go get it, ya lazy bum!  You were probably the one
       that finished it!

Voiceover: You've seen passion.

 [clip of Nuku kissing Urd]
 [clip of Nuku kissing Kyosuke]
 [clip of Nuku kissing Ataru]
 [clip of Nuku kissing Washu]
 [clip of Nuku kissing Ranma]

==============================================================

   It is said Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
   The women in Ucchan's weren't exactly scorned, but their
fury was really close...
   "Mark another one," said Hiroshi.
   Daisuke went to the nearby chalkboard and put another mark
next to the words 'RANMA OFFENDING ALL THE GIRLS'.

   There were plenty of marks there.

==============================================================

Voiceover: You've seen conflict.

[clip of Ataru being punched through a wall by Nuku]
[clip of Ataru hung by his feet from a branch from a tree]

Voiceover: You've even a little of their hidden side.

[clip of Mamoru in a tuxedo, frozen in a block of ice]

Ataru: <off camera> Heya, Tux-boy!

Voiceover: But you haven't seen the world from their point
           of view... until tonight.

==================== the interview ========================

scene: an empty room, curtain hanging in the background,
        with a single chair in it.  Ranma is currently
        sitting in it, looking a bit nervous.

Ranma:  Um, gosh. <scratches the back of his head nervously>
        It's... been kinda neat, I guess.  I mean, it's the
        first time I've lived without my pop, y'know?

        The roommates... the other guys... yeah, I guess
        they are kinda weird.  But I'm used to weird.

        Really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Living room.  Washu, Ataru, and Ranma are lounging
       around.

Ataru: So this Tenchi guy, he's got two girls after him?
       A pirate and a princess?

Washu: Mm-hm.

Ataru: That's nothing.  I've got... let's see... Oyuki-chan,
       Ran-chan <for a moment, Ranma looks somewhat ill>,
       Benten-chan, Sakura-chan, Ryuu-chan, Shinobu-chan...

Ranma: Yeah, right.

Ataru: <grinning confidently> You're just jealous.

Ranma: Yeah right.  There's nothing you got to be jealous
       about.

Ataru: <grinning> It's okay, really.  Not everyone can be
       as manly as I...

Ranma:  <irritated tone> Hey, there's no way you're more of
        a man than me.

Ataru:  You're the only guy I know that wears rubber gloves
        when he washes dishes.

Ranma:  Hey!  Lemme tell ya, I've got more girls after me
        than you'll ever get!

Ataru:  <smugly>  Oh-ho, sounds like a challenge to me...

Ranma:  Huh?

===========================================================

   The girls remembered that episode, and not too fondly.
   "He's definitely gonna pay for that," said Ukyou.
   Shampoo and Kodachi nodded solemly.
   Akane grit her teeth.
   "He is just so dead," said Daisuke dryly.
   Hiroshi nudged Daisuke.  "Hey, tally it up."
   Daisuke stood up, went over to the nearby chalkboard, and
put another mark next to the 'RANMA OFFENDS ALL THE GIRLS'
tally.
   "How much is that total?" asked Yuka.
   Daisuke tallied up the marks.  "That makes it... forty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Bowling alley.  All seven roommates are there,
       dressed in traditional 'bowling alley' garb.

Ranma: Hey Nuku, your turn.

Nuku-Nuku:  Hai!

<Nuku-Nuku picks up a bowling ball, then looks at the
bowling pins.  For a moment there is a short flicker of red
from one of Nuku's eyes, then she throws the ball down the
alley.  It flies straight from her hand to the pins, not
touching the wood, and smashes into the pins. There's a
spectacular crash and some wood chips fly into the air.>

Ranma:  Um... Nuku?

Nuku-Nuku:  Hm?

Ranma:  You don't havta throw it that hard.

Nuku-Nuku:  Oooh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: The kitchen.  Ranma, Kyosuke, and Ataru are sitting
       around the table and looking stressed.

Ranma:  What ELSE can go wrong?!?!

<There is a sudden POOF and RANMA becomes a small
 disoriented wombat.>

Ataru:  Uh oh.

==============================================================

   "Yea, others hath done unto him what he had done unto
others," said Kuno.
   "Since when did he turn you into a wombat?" asked
Daisuke.

==================== the interview ========================

Ranma:  Cranky?  I don't get cranky.  And no, I don't have
        aquapha... aquaf... I ain't afraid of water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Front of house.  Ataru is rumpled on the floor,
        bits of something plastic are scattered around
        him.

Ranma: <from off camera> I said NO SQUIRTGUNS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Living room.  Six of the seven housemates are there,
        dressed in beachwear.  Ataru is noticably
        appreciating Urd-in-a-swimsuit, while Urd
        is leaning over Ranma, who is not dressed for
        the beach.

Urd:   C'mon, don't be such a stick in the mud.  <Leans
       in seductively>  Let's get wet.

Ranma:  <blushing slightly>  For the last time, no!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Front Hallway.  Ataru's looking through the mail.

Ataru:  Let's see... fan mail for Urd, fan mail for Urd,
        more fan mail for Urd, more.... hrm.  What's this?
        <lifts up box>  "Jusenkyou Products, One <1> bar
        Kou-sui soap."  What's this fo-

Ranma:  <hand emerges from off-screen>  Gimmie that!
        <grabs box, leaves>

Ataru:  Hey, what's with the soa-

Ranma:  <from off screen> None'a your business.

Ataru:  <blinks and looks off-screen>  Jeez, picky about
        his soap...

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:  An empty room, curtain hanging in the background,
        with a single chair in it.  Ataru is sitting in
        it, relaxed and calm.

Ataru:  Do we get along?  Oh yeah, just fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Backyard, facing the back of the house.  Suddenly,
        there's an explosion of flying wood and debris.
        Ataru's face smashes into the camera.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Roof-cam.  Birds are chirping, a small cloud floats
        by, Ataru explodes from the roof and flies
        off-camera.

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  Ah, the ladies.  They're so... different, yet each
        beautiful in their own unique way.  Like Washu-chan.
        One minute, short pest.  Next minute, scientist
        of love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Kitchen.  Ataru is rummaging through the
        refrigerator, his face and arms buried in it.
        Washu walks in.

Ataru: <Rising from the refrigerator with a glass in hand>
       Aaah, fruit juice.

Washu: Hm?  <Looks at the glass>  Hey, wai-

               ***POOF***

<Ataru explodes into a million pink bits of sand.>

Washu: *Sigh*  Gotta remember not to leave my experiments
       in there.

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  And Urd?  Ah, if there was a Goddess of Love, she'd
        be it.  *sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Hallway outside bathroom door.  

<Urd emerges, clad in a large white towel that's loosely
 wrapped around her. Cleavage and leg show in fan-service
 proportions. Her hair is also wrapped up in a white towel. 
 She saunters to her room with a slight amused look at the
 camera, then closes the door. 

<A moment later, Ataru strolls by Urd's room, pauses, takes
 a step back, then contemplates the door for a while.  With
 a lecherous grin he peeks into the keyhole.>

***ZAP**

<Ataru stands, burnt and dazed.>

Ataru:  This.... seems all too familiar.

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  Nuku-chan?  Young, peppy, and bouncy!  She even
        kissed me, y'know?  Oh yeah, she's definitely
        got a crush for me. <Ataru-esque chuckling>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: Front doorway.  Nuku is cheerfully on her way out.
       Ataru is cheerfully on his way in.

Ataru:  <happily> Nuku-chan!

Nuku:  <happily> Ataru-kun!

<Nuku suddenly punches Ataru through the roof.>

Nuku:  Ara... Nuku-Nuku thought Washu-chan fixed that...

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  The guys?  They're okay, I guess.  Ranma's a little
        slow sometimes.  Way too easy to fool.  A real
        grouch, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  All three at the dinner table.  There's a single
        slice of meat left on a plate at the center.  Ranma,
        Kyosuke, and Ataru eye each other warily, all with
        chopsticks poised to strike.

Ataru:  <points dramatically behind Ranma>  What's that?!?!

<Ranma and Kyosuke turn to look.  Ataru nabs the last piece
 with lightning speed.>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  The same, except with a single slice of sushi left.

Ataru:  <points dramatically behind Ranma>  Hey, isn't that
        one of your fiancees?

Ranma:  Aaagh!  <turns around quickly.>

<Ataru swipes the sushi.>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  The same, except with a can of cola on the table.

Ataru:  <points dramatically behind Ranma>  Look out!  A
        rocket!

Ranma:  <scowls at Ataru>  I ain't falling for tha-

<Nuku suddenly blazes through the room>

Ranma:  -at... um..

<A rocket suddenly blazes through the room, plowing into
 Ranma and sending them both out of the room.  Ataru
 blinks, then looks off-screen to where Ranma and the rocket
 flew off.  There's a crashing noise, then silence.>

Ataru:  <snatching the cola casually> Tried to tell'em.

<Kyouko and Arisa, the agents fro Mishima Heavy Industries,
 dressed in powersuits, peek in.>

Arisa:  Excuse me, did you see a rocket go by here?

Ataru:  <points behind him>  Over there.

Kyouko: Ah, the warhead didn't go off.  Another dud.

Arisa:  Akiko's not gonna be happy about that.

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  Kyosuke?  Only other normal person in the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:    kitchen table again, at night.  All of the
          residents, except 'Tux-boy', are there.

Ranma:    No fiancees?

Kyosuke:  Um, no.

Ataru:    No aliens?

Kyosuke:  Nope.

Ranma:    No rivals looking to beat you up?

Kyosuke:  Not really.

Urd:      <Glancing at the camera first with a mischievous
          grin, then turning to Kyosuke>  No complicated
          love triangles?

Kyosuke:  <twitches slightly>  Aheheh, of course not!

Nuku-Nuku: Want fish?

Kyosuke:   Maybe later.

Washu:     Well, seeing as how you appear to be a perfectly
           normal, well-adjusted young man, you're either
           perfectly normal...
Ataru:     Mm-hm.

Washu:     Unlike the other boys here.

Ataru & Ranma:  Hey!

Washu:     Or you're a serial killer.

<entire room facefaults except Washu and Nuku>

==================== the interview ========================

Ataru:  What, you mean Tux-boy?  <scowls>  One of those
        rich brats.  I know the type.  They take everything
        too seriously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Hallway, morning.  Ataru and Mamoru are walking by
        each other.

Ataru:  'Morning, Tux-boy.

Mamoru: Shut up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Kitchen.  Nuku is cooking at the stove.

Nuku:   Good morning, Tux-boy-kun!

Mamoru:  Ngg.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Front door.  Urd is walking in, Mamoru is
        walking out.

Urd:    Hey, Tuxy.

Mamoru:  Please, don't call me that.

Urd:    <pinches Mamoru on the cheek> But it's so cute!
        Just like you.  <she winks>

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:  Mamoru is in the chair this time, looking a little
        flustered.  One hand covers his eyes and he is
        slumped back in irritation.

Mamoru:  You just had to show that, didn't you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<Various scenes of Mamoru leaving the house in a hurry>

==================== the interview ========================

Mamoru:  What can I say?  I've got a busy life, okay?
         No, it's none of your business.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Living room.  The phone rings, bringing Ataru into
        the scene to answer it.

Ataru:  Hello... who?  Mamo-what?  Oh.  Hold on.  <puts
        phone down>  YO!  MAMO-CHAN!  YOUR KID'S ON THE
        PHONE!  OY!  MAMO-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!

Mamoru: <from off-screen>  SHUT UP!

Ataru:  <looks at the camera and winks> Tux-boy here's one
        cradle-rocking cassanova, eh?

Mamoru: <his arm emerges from off-camera and grabs the
        phone from Ataru>  Give me that!

==================== the interview ========================

Mamoru:  My relationship with my girlfriend?  That's
         private and personal, thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Living room.  Light jazz is playing in the
        background.  Urd is sitting on the couch,
        reading through letters.  Washu walks by, then
        pauses to look over Urd's shoulder.

Washu:  Oh, the advice columns?

Urd:    Yep.

Washu:  Lemme see a few?

Urd:    Sure.

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:  Urd's now in the chair, smiling happily at the
        camera.

Urd:    Hi there, everyone!  Happy to see me?

<cut to scene outside of studio, where a fairly large crowd
 with Urd t-shirts, posters, and signs is standing and
 chanting her name>

Urd:    <grins wider>

        I knew you were.  

        <expression becomes neutral>

        Now, let's see... where to start... ah, the boys.
        <smiles again>

        They're a fun little bunch of neuroses, that bunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Living room.  Ataru is lounging on one couch, laid
        down, while Urd is on the other couch sitting
        upright.  Ataru looks somewhat agitated.

Ataru:  Fear of committment?

Urd:    Fear of committment.

Ataru:  Oh come on!

Urd:    Nope.  That's exactly what you've got.  Massive,
        overwhelming fear of committment.

Ataru:  No, that's not it.  Not at all.

Urd:    Okay, let's say you get this harem of yours,
        with Lum, Benten, Ran, and all those others.

Ataru:  <does that odd laugh of his and grins>  Mm-hm?

Urd:    Now, tell me you'll be content with it.

Ataru:  Of course I'll be content wi-

Urd:    Be content with that harem and NO other women.
        ONLY that group of girls.

Ataru:  Well, hey, I won't <pauses a moment, then looks
        doubtful> I mean, hey... <looks somewhat disturbed>
        I'm... sure... well...

Urd:    See what I mean?  Fear of committment.

Ataru:  Ah... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Much like before, except with Ranma, who looks
        a bit horrified and a little angry.

Ranma:  Uncomfortable with my sexuality?!

Urd:    Mm-hm.

Ranma:  No way!

Urd:    Well, there's the way you're overly macho all the
        time, hm?

Ranma:  Yeah, so?

Urd:    It's as if you're trying to say "I'm a man! Really,
        I'm a man!".

Ranma:  Well I AM a guy!

Urd:    Yes, but you overdo it so much it borders on feeling
        fake.

Ranma:  I do not!

Urd:    It's almost as if... <looks thoughtful> As if
        you're hiding something, a side of yourself.

Ranma:  H-hey, that ain't-

Urd:    I dunno, maybe it's not my business, but...
        are you... <looks briefly at the camera>
        well... you know...

Ranma:  What are you... <realizes what she's hinting
        at>   No way!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:    Same setup, but with Kyosuke.

Kyosuke:  <blinking with surprise> Too uptight?

Urd:      You've really gotta loosen up.

Kyosuke:  Really?

Urd:      Anyone ever tell you that you're really uptight?

Kyosuke:  Ah, not really, no.

Urd:      You're the oldest child, right?

Kyosuke:  Well, yeah, but-

Urd:      Figures.  You feel like you've gotta be
          responsible for everything, right?  Always
          had to watch over your siblings, always
          had to make sure things are going okay.

Kyosuke:  I guess...

Urd:      Now, that's not a bad thing.  Not really, no.
          I mean, not enough young people are responsible,
          but there comes a time when you've gotta unwind
          a bit.  You'll end up with an ulcer at the rate
          you're going.

Kyosuke:  I'm that wound up?

Urd:      Mm-hm.

Kyosuke:  <Silent for a moment> That's all, right?

Urd:      Well, there's also your massive fear of
          committment <Kyosuke's eyes widen in panic>
          and the way you get hopelessly tangled up
          by indecision <Kyosuke smiles nervously>
          but we won't go into that now.  <Kyosuke
          sighs in relief>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mamoru:  Antisocial? <raises an eyebrow>

Urd:     Kind of obvious, I think.

Mamoru:  I am NOT antisocial.

Urd:     You're also quite introverted and have a hard time
         expressing your feelings.

Mamoru:  I'm just a private person, that's all.

Urd:     C'mon, open up a little.  Keeping everything
         inside isn't healthy, y'know.

<Ataru's head pops into the edge of the screen>

Ataru:   Don't forget the Lolita complex.
         <pops out of the scene quickly>

Mamoru:  Shut up!

Urd:     Oh yeah, the Lolita complex.

Mamoru:  Now wait a minute!

Urd:     I'm not saying I'm against the relationship.  I
         think it's rather sweet.  But you've gotta admit
         she is kind of young.

Mamoru:  I don't believe this...

==================== the interview ========================

Urd:  The other ladies... they're more normal than the guys.
      That's about all I can say.  Washu?  Hrm... real
      career-oriented.  I don't think she's ever sat back
      and done nothing... well... until recently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Living room.  The lights are down, except for the
        television.  Urd and Washu are on separate couches
        and with bags of potato chips and bottles of sake.

Washu:  So, this is doing nothing, huh?  Seems kinda
        pointless.

Urd:    Anyone ever tell you you're a workaholic?

Washu:  <mouth half-full of potato chips> Mmm, no.

Urd:    <blinks, looks at her feet>  Eww.

Washu:  What?

Urd:    I stepped on some weird pink sandy stuff in the
        kitchen.

Washu:  <grins nervously> Oh, aheh, really?

==================== the interview ========================

Urd:  Nuku is... she's energetic, I guess.  I don't
      think any other word sums her up.  No, wait,
      cheery kinda does the job too.  Always brings her
      friends in to play.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Kitchen, morning.  Urd, Washu, Kyosuke, Ataru, and
        Ranma are there, eating breakfast peacefully.
        In the background, sounds of gunfire can be heard.

Urd:    Another couple of minutes, you think?

Ranma:  Mmm... maybe sooner.

<They stop to listen to the gunfire for a moment, then
 resume eating.>

Kyosuke:  Um, am I the only one a little worried here?

Ranma:    You ever see her fight?

Kyosuke:  Well, no, but...

Ataru:    Trust me, she's not in trouble.

<A small explosion shakes the room.  Kyosuke is
 visibly worried, but the others take it in stride.>

Urd:    Must be finished.

Washu:  She's getting a little slow.

Urd:    Just playing with them, I think.

<Nuku enters, along with a soot-stained and worn looking
Kyouko and Arisa, the two henchwomen of Akiko Natsume,
enter with her looking slightly embarrassed.>

Urd:    So, have fun?

Nuku:   <nods enthusiastically>  Mm-hm!

Washu:  <gestures to Kyouko and Arisa> Have a seat, join
        us for breakfast. 

Arisa:  I dunno...

Urd:    It's not like you haven't before.

Kyouko: Well, okay.  Still got any of that special blend
        coffee, Washu-san?

Washu:  Ahem.

Kyouko: I, er, I mean, Washu-chan?

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:  Same setting, only with Washu in the chair

Washu:  What do you want me to say?  What?  The others?
        <frowns and rubs chin>  Hmm... what is there to
        say?  They seem like a perfectly normal bunch
        to me.  Nice people.  Ataru... great electricity
        conductor, that kid.  Ranma's got great reflexes.
        Urd, she's great for manipulating male hormone
        levels.  Nuku's always willing to help out on
        my experiments.  Nice bunch of people, yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:    Living room.  Washu is sitting on the couch
          staring at a test tube full of pink sand.

Washu:    Hmm, now this I wasn't expecting.

Kyosuke:  <walking by, pauses and looks at the tube>
          Another experiment, Washu-chan?

Washu:    <with irritation> It WAS.

Kyosuke:  What's it supposed to be?

Washu:    Well, it used to be Ataru.

Kyosuke:  What?!

<Mamoru walks by>

Mamoru:   See you later, guys.  <notices Kyosuke's
          shocked expression and Washu's tube>
          What's that?

Washu:    Ataru.

Mamoru:   <pauses>  Figures.  Later, guys.  <exit Mamoru>

<Urd strolls by, pauses, frowns and wipes her feet
 on the carpet, lifts a leg up to look at the sole of
 her foot>

Urd:      This stuff just won't come off.  <exit Urd>

Washu:    <big sweatdrop>  Oh boy.

<Ranma enters the room with a bag of chips and a
 drink.>

Ranma:    Hey guys, where's the remote?

Washu:    By the phone.

Ranma:    <pauses, notices Kyosuke's shocked state, shrugs,
          and gets the television remote control.  Sits
          down, opens bags of chips, lifts drink to lips>
Washu:    <suddenly notices Ranma's drink>  Wait, don't
          dri-

*** POOF ***

<Ranma explodes into a million pink bits of sand>

Washu:    <sighs>  Oh my.

Kyosuke:  ...

<Nuku enters the room>

Nuku:     Hi!
          <steps forward when a sandy sort of *crunch*
          is heard>
          Hm?  
          <Looks at the floor>
          Ew, Nuku-Nuku stepped on some pink stuff.

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:   Nuku sits at the chair this time

Nuku:    Nuku-Nuku is so happy to have so many friends!
         Nuku has learned a lot.  About kissing, and cooking
         and friends.  Papa-san and Mama-san will be so
         proud of me! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Hallway.  Ataru and Nuku are cheerily going down one
        way, Ranma and Kyosuke down the other.  Ranma looks
        suspiciously at Ataru.

Ranma:  So where are you two goin'?

Nuku:   Nuku-Nuku and Ataru are going to take a bath!

<Ataru nods vigorously while Kyosuke stares at the two of
 them.  Ranma, meanwhile, is not amused.>

Ranma:  <Grabs Ataru by the ear and drags him away>  C'mere,
        you!

Ataru:  Owowowow!  Hey!  Cut it out!  Find your own bath
        partner!

Nuku:   Where's Ranma and Ataru going?

KYOSUKE:  Um, Nuku, let me explain something about baths...

==================== the interview ========================

Nuku:  <happy smile> Nuku likes them!

       <Pauses, listening to a question the tv microphones
       don't pick up>

       Nuku like them a lot!

       <Listens to something inaudible to the camera yet
        again, then looks puzzled.>

       In other words?  Um...

       <Nuku sits there, finger over mouth looking
        contemplative.>

       Um...

       <Long pause..........>

       Um...

       <Long pause..........>

==================== the interview ========================

Scene:  Kyosuke under the spotlight in the big chair.

Kyosuke: <scratches the back of his head, smiles nervously>
         Aheh, gosh, what to say?  I'll admit, they're kinda
         weird....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Backyard.  Ataru and Kyosuke are watching Ranma
        violently attack a canvas with a paintbrush tainted
        with many mixed colors.

Kyosuke: <looking a little unsure> Martial Arts
         Expressionism?

Ataru:   I should be surprised.  I'm not surprised, but I
         should be.

Kyosuke: <to Ranma> And you say someone challanged you?

Ranma:   Yeah, some guy from some weird art college.

Kyosuke: And you don't think this is strange?

Ranma:   <shrugs> Not really.

<A door appears from nowhere next to Kyosuke.  It opens and
 Washu leans out from it, holding a telephone.>

Washu:   <To Kyosuke>  Got a phone call.

Kyosuke: <blinks at Washu, unnerved slightly> Um, thanks.
         <Puts phone to ear>  Hello?  Oh, hi boss.  What?
         You want me to cover what?  Um... okay.
         <hands the phone back to Washu.>  Thanks.

Washu:   No problem.  <Washu closes the door, which vanishes
         soon after.>

Kyosuke: Looks like I'm covering your match for the paper.

Ranma:   Yeah?  Hey, that's cool.

Ataru:   INCOMING!

<The three boys duck as a missile zooms right over their
 heads.  A moment later, Nuku runs by happily.  A moment
 after that, something large, metal, and black streaks
 through the scene, leaving a whirlwind in its wake.>

<Kyosuke staring off camera to where Nuku left, bewildered>

Ataru:   I hate it when they do that.

Ranma:   Aw man!  They burned my canvas!
         <Shakes fist at something off camera>
         YOU JERKS!

<Urd strolls into the scene, slaps Ranma in the rear as she
 walks by (getting a startled "HEY!" from Ranma), then
 props an arm up on Kyosuke's shoulder and leans lazily on
 him.>

Urd:     Hey, heard you had an assignment from the chief.

Kyosuke: How...?

Urd:     <smiles> I just know stuff.  Mind if I tag along?

Kyosuke: Um, sure, no problem.

<Mamoru wanders into the scene, looking on the ground as if
 searching for something.>

Mamoru:  Has anyone seen a rose lying around here
         somewhere?

Urd:     Nope.

Ranma:   Haven't seen it.

Kyosuke: Sorry, no.

Ataru:   <whistles for a moment while tucking a rose behind
          his back>  Nope, can't say I have.

==================== the interview ========================

Kyosuke: Kinda weird, but they're really normal people.
         What's that?  The pink sand thing?  Oh, well,
         you'd have to ask Washu about that.

==================== the interview ========================

Washu:  What?  The pink sand thing?  Jeez, I'm never going
        to live that one down, am I...  How'd I fix it?
        Well, first I carefully collected the... er... bits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Washu moving all over the house with what appears
        to be an Atomic Vaccum Cleaner.  Cut to misc. scenes
        of Washu power-vaccuming Urd's feet, then Nuku's
        feet.

==================== the interview ========================

Washu:  And after that, I sifted through the elements,
        determined what went where....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  In Washu's lab.  Washu is standing before a dazzling
        array of tubes, wires, and beakers.  Urd is peeking
        over her shoulder.

Urd:    So, how do you tell which one is which?

Washu:  Well...  first of all, there's this...

<Washu puts her hand in a tank full of water and pink
 bits.  Some pink bits float away immediately from her
 hand, others aren't affected at all.>

Washu:  If I'd guess, I'd say that's Ataru's bits that
        are the ones moving away from my hand.

Urd:    Away?  A lecher like that?  I'd think he'd cling
        to you.

Washu:  He would, I guess, except he still remembers the
        little experiment I did on him a few weeks ago.

Urd:    Oh, the one with the metal probes?

Washu:  Yep.  And there's more.  Watch this.

<Washu goes to a vial and turn a dial underneath.>

Washu:  Get the water cold enough, and some of the crystals
        turn blue.  Get it hot enough, and some of the
        crystals turn really red.  Some, but not all.

Urd:    <nodding sagely>  I see, I see.  But which is which?

Washu:  They're the same bits that don't run away from me,
        so I'm assuming it's Ranma.  I wonder why, though.

Urd:    <Shrugs>  Mysteries of life.   So you're doing all
        this <points to the many tubes and vials filled with
        pink stuff, and in some cases blue stuff> to sort
        out who's who?

Washu:  Not really.

Urd:    <facefaults>  Then what's all this for?!

Washu:  <shrugs>  Scientific curiosity.

Urd:    And what about sorting those two out?

Washu:  Oh, easy.  I just run'em through the DNA sifter here
        <she pats a machine that resembles a high-tech,
        featureless washer> and that's that.

==================== the interview ========================

Washu:  Of course, in any procedure, things can go wrong...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene:  Two cylinders filled with smoke are at the center of
        the dark room (Washu's lab, yet another section)
        with Urd and Washu standing nearby.

Washu:  Aaaand presto!  <presses a button>

<The two cylinders rise, revealing a very dazed Ranma and
 a very dazed Ataru.>

Washu:  See?  Piece of ca-

Ranma:  Urd-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

<Ranma *GLOMPS* Urd>

Urd:    HEY!

***ZAP***

Ranma:  <Now fried>  U-urd-saaaaan... *thud*  <falls over>

Washu:  *sigh*  Back to the tubes, you two.

--------------------------------------------------------------

   CREDITS AND LEGAL JARGON

White Wolf, most recently, and many others who've been
patiently waiting a year for this to come out n.n;;;;
   
anybody else on the fanfic ML that Rod M. forgot.  Don't
mean Rod don't appreciate ya, it's just that there's a lot
of you out there. =) 

  OWNERSHIP 'n stuff

   The Real World is done by some guy at MTV.
   Ranma 1/2 & Urusei Yatsura created by Rumiko Takahashi.
   Kimagure Orange Road created by Matsumoto Izumi
   Sailor Moon created by Takeuchi Naoko.
   Tenchi Muyo created by Hiroki Hayashi
   All Purpose Cat Girl Nuku Nuku created by Takada Yuuzou.
   Ah! My Goddess! created by Fujishima Kosuke

--------------------------------------------------------------

Scene:  Nuku is sitting in the chair, still looking
        thoughtful.

Nuku:   Um....

<camera fades out with Nuku still looking contemplative,
 Ataru in tuxedo holding a rose suddenly runs by in the 
 background, chased by a furious Mamoru.>

Mamoru:  GET BACK HERE!

Nuku:    Um...

- e n d  p a r t  7  ( r e a l l y ) -


NEXT EPISODE:   Sex Drive Muyo!