Setsuna Meiou sighed. She simply couldn't put it off any longer. It had been getting harder and harder to ignore the tug of her soul pulling at her. Telling her this wasn't what was supposed to happen. Telling her that the work was done, that it was time to rest. To be with the others, to be loved once more. But she couldn't. She hated herself for it, but she couldn't fully trust Queen Serenity. She had to know that it was right, that her successor would be a person who truly deserved to be, who wouldn't tarnish and abuse her powers. So she had stayed. Cheated for so long, staying at the Time Gate, bending the rules. Watching as the others were reincarnated. Different faces, different outward personalities, but the same people. The Princess' love and caring, truly believing that she could save everyone. Her advisors, who would give their lives to protect her in a heartbeat. Uranus and Neptune, still in love. She would miss them. She hadn't meant to grow attached to the new generation. Just assist them when she could, show them what the role and duties of Sailor Pluto were like. But that had been before she'd seen Usagi's infectious cheerfulness, Haruka and Michiru's devotion to duty and each other. And Hotaru-chan. Able to live her life again, happy and cheerful. That alone made staying on worth it. But there were no more excuses. She couldn't put it off any longer. Her future self needed time, time to get acclimatized before the final battle. It would be cruel to deny her that. She stopped at the door, wondering once more how Serenity's powers had chosen her successor. The girl did not seem by any means to be the type to become Sailor Pluto. But Setsuna knew better than anyone not to focus too much on outward appearances. She'd be fine. And with that Setsuna Meiou stepped out of the house, looked both ways before crossing the street, and was smashed across the road by a drunk driver. She died almost instantly. *** Haruka sighed, jotting down another note in her binder. Normally she'd barely be paying attention in this class. She was pretty good at hard maths such as calculus, and the lesson the professor was giving was nothing new to her. But she wasn't just taking notes for her. Beans had trouble with the subject, and this would be material Haruka would have to drill into her later at their tutoring session. Besides, she didn't want to annoy Beans, or she's make Haruka pay when it came time for tutoring in C++, where their positions were basically reversed. "Miss Reynolds, are you feeling all right?" Haruka's gaze instantly shifted to Beans. Ever since an incident a few months ago where Beans had come down with a nasty fever, Haruka had spent more than a little time being concerned for her welfare. She'd made sure the girl took better care of herself, and even made her gain a pound or two. None of that seemed to matter now, though, as Beans was sitting crookedly in her seat, sweat pouring down her face. "I'll be fine, it's nothing," she said indistinctly, even though everyone could see she was having difficulty staying upright in her seat. Haruka got up, moving quickly to Beans' side, levering her up. Beans offered only a token resistance, a sure sign that she was seriously sick. "I'll get her to a nurse, Professor." "Thank you, Miss Ten'ou." Haruka barely heard him; she'd got Beans up and was out the door before he'd finished his sentence. She grabbed Beans in both arms and started to run, ignoring the odd looks she got from passersby. Beans started to struggle. "Put me down, idiot..." "Are you feeling feverish? Any dizziness? Headaches?" There was no response. Haruka looked behind her and gasped, seeing blood trickling out of Beans' mouth. She was unconscious. "Shimatta!" Haruka cried. It was one of her worst fears coming true. She looked around, and then ducked into an empty classroom. Once there, she briefly set Beans' prone figure on the teacher's desk before whipping out her transformation pen. "URANUS PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!!!" she cried, and felt the familiar transformation into her alter ego. She spun around and moved back towards Beans, intending to get her to the hospital by the quickest means available, even if that meant going by rooftops. That was when she saw Pluto's sigil, burning brightly on Beans' forehead. The sight brought Uranus to a stunned halt, and for a few moments she did nothing but stare at her friend in complete and utter shock. Then the sigil faded, and the blood pouring from Beans' mouth and nose became more noticeable. She snapped out of her stupor and grabbed Beans, opening the 3rd- floor window to jump to the roof. Then her communicator beeped. She cursed and grabbed it. "This really isn't the time! Mame-chan is hurt!" she yelled, unconsciously using the pet name she called Beans in private. A sob was her only answer. Uranus' heart broke. She knew that sob better than anyone else's, and hoped to never hear it again as long as she lived. "Neptune! My God, what's wrong?" Conspiracies started rolling through her head, thoughts of a new enemy finding out who they really were, and going after their friends. Neptune's broken voice came through. "Setsuna!" And suddenly all conspiracies vanished, to be replaced with a single image. Beans with the sigil of Pluto on her head. And Uranus KNEW. "Uranus, Setsuna was hit by a drunk driver. She's dead. Pluto's dead." Uranus was shaking her head, tears coming to her eyes uncontrollably. "No... no, you can't do this to her, not *her*... she's not supposed to suffer like we are." "Uranus?" came Neptune's voice from the communicator. "Neptune, meet me at the hospital. We've got another problem." Senshi Life Ep. 1: What's a girl like you doing doing with a past like this? by Sean Gaffney This takes place about 4 months after episodes 16-17 of Greenbeans' fanfic 'College Life'. It is not meant to be part of normal College Life continuity, but an alternate future for the character of Beans. This fanfic also ties in with the Sailor Moon fanfic 'Trials and Errors', by Sean Gaffney and Jeffrey Hosmer, which also features Beanie-Pluto, and was the inspiration for this little Omake. By the time Uranus arrived at the hospital (the quick way - over the rooftops), she was thinking a little more rationally about the situation they were in. The hospital, while a logical choice for a sick Beans, was not a very good choice for a sick Pluto. Especially since they weren't entirely sure what *was* wrong with her. She was still unconscious, but at least the blood had stopped flowing from her nose and mouth. It crusted on her face now, making her look more like the victim of a brutal attack. Uranus wished she had a cloth or some sort. She hated seeing Beans like this, it tore her up inside. What was more worrying to her as Uranus was that the sigil of Pluto was constantly flickering on Beans' forehead now, dimming and brightening in no real pattern. She detransformed back into Haruka after ducking behind a side building, reasoning that it wouldn't do to be seen running around as Uranus carrying a girl's body around. Just in time too, as she saw her car tear into the hospital parking lot, Michiru behind the wheel. Haruka sighed but decided not to say anything. Michiru did *not* have her American license, but this was an emergency. As Michiru parked and got out of the car, Haruka gave a sharp whistle. Michiru started, then headed towards her. She wasn't looking much better than Beans. It was obvious she had been crying. Haruka sighed. Setsuna's death hadn't really hit her yet. She would have to wait until Beans was taken care of to allow it to sink in so she could grieve. Michiru gasped as she saw Bean's face. "My God..." Haruka nodded. "New plan. We take her home, get her cleaned up, and see if we can figure out what's happened." "I think I have a pretty good idea already," Michiru murmured. "I do too, but I'd like something more concrete. If she doesn't get any better, or her body gets sicker, we'll take her back to the hospital. Sound like a plan?" Michiru nodded. "We should let the others know about this too." Haruka frowned as they walked to the car. "I don't know. I really don't think we should tell Hotaru just yet, I'm not sure how she'd take it. Makoto, maybe. She actually knows Beans. Then she can help us decide how to tell the others." Haruka carefully set Beans in the back seat, then Michiru got in behind to hold her head up. Nothing more was said on the drive home. *** Memories churning in her head, denying her identity. She was Sailor Pluto, she was Setsuna Meiou, she was... *BEANS!* The guardian and Mistress of Time, the one who makes sure that all is as it should be, for past present, and future... *NO! BEANS! SKYE REYNOLDS! A COLLEGE STUDENT!* Alone at the gates of time, no family, no friends, no love... just herself guarding against the wilderness. *NO! I have my parents and brother! I have Haruka and Michiru! I have Andy! I AM NOT SAILOR PLUTO!!!* I am Sailor Pluto... and I have my duty. *** Haruka leapt two feet in the air at the sound of the scream, and raced towards the guest room. Beans was sitting in the bed, eyes wide open, breath coming in ragged gasps. She was holding a hand to her forehead, where thankfully nothing was glowing at the moment. Moving quickly onto the bed, Haruka hugged Beans awkwardly, remembering how the girl wasn't fond of physical contact. Beans didn't seem to mind this time, however, or in fact even notice. She continued to breathe heavily and stare at the bed. "Are you alright, Mame-chan?" Haruka enquired. She didn't speak for a moment, then looked up. "Mame-chan. Beans, yes. Beans. I am Beans, right? Am I?" Haruka closed her eyes momentarily. She remembered when she went through the same crisis of identity. The nightmares late at night, doubting her own sanity, visions of her one true love... and pushing that love away for lack of trust. But most of all, wondering if she was still Haruka Ten'ou... or if that was gone forever, replaced by a centuries-old warrior. If she could trust any of her thoughts and feelings. Wondering if she loved Michiru, or if Uranus loved Neptune. There had been a great deal of sleepness, tear-filled nights. And only one answer she could accept. Haruka leaned down to whisper in Beans' ear. "Of course you are. Never doubt that. You are Beans." Beans nodded, her breathing slowing. "Thank you," she whispered. Then she started to sob. Michiru appeared in the doorway, but Haruka shook her head. She just sat there, gently rocking the young girl as she cried for the loss of her freedom and innocence. *** Beans had fallen asleep again after a while, and Haruka extricated herself. She turned on a radio to give Beans something to listen to and then went to the kitchen to get a cup of tea and shake some more. She was still in shock over the revelations of the past day. Michiru handed her the cup with a sad smile. "I've been on the phone with Mako-chan. I didn't mention Beans, just inquiring about Setsuna-chan. The services are in three days. I said that we would talk to our deans and get permission to fly over." Haruka frowned. "We can't leave Mame-chan like this." "I know," Michiru said. "That's why we'll have to take her with us. I think we need to rethink our timetable." "She was saying how she didn't know who she was anymore," Haruka murmured. "She wanted to be sure she was Beans. I remember that. She's going through what I went through. Denying the senshi because she doesn't want to give up her normal life..." Haruka drifted off, lost in memories. Michiru stood by her, but didn't quite reach out to her. She also had memories of that time, and they weren't pleasant. Haruka was the one who liked to look back at her past, analysing her mistakes and triumphs. It just made Michiru uncomfortable. So she tried instead to work out how to best introduce Beans to the other senshi without a major incident. *** Beans flipped over onto her back. She had feigned sleep, not wanting to worry the others more than necessary. As if she could sleep now. There was simply too much in her head. So she tossed, and turned, trying to sort out her head while the radio played some punk song in the background. She remembered her life she'd been born to... Skye Reynolds. The pain she'd endured, the hardships, the beatings. Then her life as Beans... finding love with her adopted family, making friends, meeting Haruka and Michiru and Andy. She'd worked hard at her life, and was finally being rewarded for it. But now there was Pluto. Far, far older than Skye or Beans. Pluto had been there when the Silver Millennium fell, had stood at the Time Gate, forced to do nothing as her friends and sisters died one after the other. Pluto had been there when Sailor Moon was reborn as Usagi Tsukino, and decided that her services as Pluto weren't needed yet. Revealing her identity when Pharaoh 90 attempted to destroy the world, and meeting all the senshi again. Becoming friends with Haruka and Michiru, a mother figure to Hotaru... but a sister as well there, too. Pluto was close to her friends and loved them dearly. Pluto was one of the most powerful beings in the world, who had so much devotion to duty that it was a show of strength for her to give up her life so that the next Pluto could go on. And all of her memories were there. She could even see the car, out of control, speeding towards her. What chance did a little 22-year-old American girl have against that? Beans turned over again, pulling the pillow over her head as the song finished. ~I smash the light in anger I push my bed against the door I close my lids across the eyes I wish to see no more The iris receives messages And send them to my brain No guarantee the stimuli Must be perceived the same~... *** Haruka and Michiru were debating how they would introduce Beans to the other senshi. "Well, Mako-chan knows her as Beans, so that's something. We could say that she wanted to come to Japan, since she's been learning Japanese..." Haruka said. Michiru frowned. "Using Setsuna's funeral as an excuse? That's a bit morbid. We could say she's been sick... it's the truth. And that we've been taking care of her." It was Haruka's turn to shake her head. "Too weird. Why couldn't she stay with her family, or at a hospital? It would draw suspicions." "If I'm there, they'll suspect anyway. Better just to tell them and get it over and done with," said a voice from the doorway. The pair jumped as they looked up. Beans was standing in the doorway, her mouth twisted into a half-smile. She raised an eyebrow as she looked at them. "I think I've solved my identity crisis." And with that, she pulled out a henshin stick. Pluto's. "PLUTO CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP!!" And then she stood there in front of them. Still Beans in appearance, but they could feel it in their bones. The fuku was now mostly blue, but a darker, almost purple blue, flattering the blonde woman. The time staff was now also shded a lighter blue, with the garnet still in place on top... or was it a ruby? Then there were the eyes. Setsuna's eyes in Beans' head. Haruka felt her hand trembling. Michiru sighed. Far from being like Haruka's discovery of her past as Uranus, it seemed that Beans would be going the route Michiru had when she found out she was Neptune. A far more difficult and painful route. *** Michiru lay in bed that evening, unable to sleep. Haruka lay next to her, pretending she was asleep, but Michiru knew her lover enough to know when she was conscious or not. She thought about their decision to come here, all the options they had. They'd come here, and met Beans. How much of that now seemed coincidental and false? Did they really choose to go to school here, or were they manipulated by someone else in order to ensure that they met Beans, befriended her before her destiny arrived. Would Setsuna really do something like that? Or was it merely a nasty coincidence, like so many others in their life? The world playing dice with their fates once more. Suddenly Michiru heard a sound coming from Haruka, a sound she always hated hearing. Sobs. Haruka was crying, great choking sobs wracking her body. She was curling into a ball, holding herself tighter. Michiru grabbed her hands and deliberately wrapped them around her, allowing Haruka to clutch her tightly. She whispered softly in her lover's ear. "It's alright... everything will be fine. You'll see." "Oh God, Michiru... she's gone. We never even got to say goodbye to her. I can't even remember the last time I *spoke* with her! And now I can't! Dammit, there's so much I wanted to say... I wanted to tell her... to thank her..." Michiru felt tears come to her own eyes now, as she realized that Haruka was finally allowing herself to grieve. She said nothing, just held onto Haruka as the young girl continued to cry, weeping for the loss of a sister. *** Beans shifted uncomfortably. She had hoped this would be as simple a departure as possible. Tell her friends she was going to Japan with Haruka and Michiru. She had met Setsuna, and wanted to be at her funeral. There wouldn't be too many questions asked. "Hey, Beans." This didn't take Andy into account, of course. She winced and turned, trying to keep her expression normal. "Hi, Andy. How are you?" "More to the point, how are you? I heard about you collapsing in class." He reached out to grab her in a hug. "Are you feeling better?" She stiffened immediately, and knew he would feel her doing so. She needed to come up with something to explain it, something that sounded better than "Well, I'm actually Sailor Pluto now, so I don't even think I'm allowed to be in love, so I'm trying to get over you really quickly, only it's not working at all, cause here you are being so nice and huggable and all". Instead of that, she managed "I'm still a little weird about the whole thing. I don't know what happened. I guess it'll be a bit until I feel okay again." Andy nodded, pulling back from her. Luckily she wasn't a very touchy- feely person even before the transformation, so it didn't look too awkward. "Let me know if you want to talk about it or anything, OK?" Probably as good a time as any, Beans mused. "Well, it might be a bit." She shifted uncomfortably again. "One of Haruka and Michiru's friends died, back in Japan. They're going back for the funeral. She came out here for a while a few months back, and we got along... and they're still not doing very well... so they asked me to come along." Andy looked stunned. This was probably a little too much to take in all at once. "Oh God, I hadn't known. When did they find out?" Beans flushed a bit. "About the same time as I collapsed. It wasn't a very good day." He nodded. "Are you sure you can do this? I mean, I understand that they want you along, but... so soon after? And we still don't know what it was that happened to--" She reached out, interrupting him. "I'll be fine," she said, patting him on the shoulder. It felt awkward; she rarely initiated contact between them, but she was trying to be as caring as possible. It probably looked really suspicious. 'I have to do this, Andy. They're my friends." She favored him with a small smile. He winced. "Not the smile. I'm sorry, I mean it." That brought a bigger smile from her. "I'll be back soon. And if I have another spell or whatever it was, I'll have all of Haruka and Michiru's friends to take care of me." "I suppose I'll have to make do with that," he said. He quickly reached out and kissed her, catching her by surprise. "You be good, OK?" Her eyes widened, startled by the affection. *Why? It's exactly the sort of thing he's always done* she mused. Luckily, her reaction was also perfectly in character - a deep blush. "You too, ya big lug." He grinned and ruffled her hair, then left the room. After a couple of seconds, she leaned back against her desk, head in her hands. *Don't even think about it,* a voice was saying inside her. *You have your duty*. She nodded, her shoulders sagging. "I have my duty." When she raised her head, she was once again perfectly stoic. She quickly packed a large duffel bag with clothes and essentials, then left a note for Alex. She couldn't do this again, and Alex knew her better than Andy did. Best to sneak out. She walked out quickly, slamming the door behind her far louder than she'd intended. *** They sat together on the flight back, stuck in three close-fitting seats. Beans had thought that they might fly first-class, but presumably college was sucking a lot of that money away. She was sitting in a window seat, staring out at the clouds. They'd been airborne now for almost four hours, and nobody had said anything. Michiru had amanged to get a few hours sleep, not wanting to deal with Beans and Haruka's silence. When she woke up, though, it was still there, like a large wall separating them. She nudged Haruka, and gave her a little frown. The sort of frown she'd mastered that said, "Do something, or I'll make your life miserable later". Haruka knew it like the back of her hand. She sighed and coughed politely. "We might want to talk about what we're going to do after the funeral. We'll have to introduce you to the others... and figure out how to handle this. We've never really had something like this happen in our lifetimes. Actually, you may know more about it than we do... I don't know what your memories are like now." Beans turned, her face stony. It was extremely uncomfortable for the two of them to see her like this. Beans had always had an expressive face. Seeing it looking like a mask now had an intrinsic air of wrongness about it. "I have some memories... mostly temporal theory and other senshi things. The personal memories are apparently personal. I have very few of those. Besides, don't feel awkward. From what little I know, the senshi rarely had to deal with this sort of thing in any case." Michiru blinked. "Why is that?" "Because most of the time, the senshi were all reincarnated at the same time. After dying in battle." Both Haruka and Michiru looked a little askance at that. Michiru rallied to continue. "So this is really a new situation for everyone. Especially you. You must be having trouble dealing with being a senshi. Haruka and I both took several months to really come to terms with it." Beans was already shaking her head. "I can't afford to let that happen. I have to much responsibility. I have to get a handle on this right away. That's why..." She stopped suddenly, and went back to looking out the window. Haruka reached out to take her hand, but drew back. "Mame-chan, don't drive yourself into the ground. The winds of time aren't going to be helped by you having a nervous breakdown. Being a senshi doesn't make you less human." Her mouth twisted wryly. "Though some of us needed to have that pounded into our heads." Michiru nodded. "There aren't really any major enemies that we've seen since Galaxia... unless you see something in the future?" she added worriedly, but Beans shook her head. Michiru looked relieved and continued. "We can spend some time getting everyone used to you... Mako-chan knows you already, that helps. We don't want to have another war between the Outer and Inner Senshi again." "We should probably wait till we talk to Usagi. She'll need to decide what we do." Haruka suddenly laughed. "I can't believe I just said that." Even Beans smiled a little at that. "Thanks to both of you... I guess I haven't said that much." Michiru smiled. "It's our pleasure, Beans. This is the biggest challenge you've ever faced before. Don't shut us out. We can help you, we've been through something similar." Beans smiled again. "I know." Haruka reached out again, this time grabbing Beans' hand and squeezing it. Beans squeezed it back. Having said everything that needed to be said, the trio then fell back into silence. And five minutes later, Beans was once again looking out the window, at the inky blackness of the night sky. *Pluto stands at the time gates, guarding against the forces of darkness. Alone.* ***