From: gaffney@iconn.net
Subject: [FFML] Ranma 1/2:  Cast No Shadow
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Hi again.  Bosom Buddies is getting annoying again, so I've
written this to cheer myself up.

All characters (C) Rumiko Takahashi
Lyrics by Noel Gallagher

Ranma 1/2:  Cast No Shadow
by Sean Gaffney


	He sat on the roof, staring at the setting sun.  He
came up here whenever life was feeling too much for him, and
today definitely qualified.  The hot water heater was broken
again, so he was stuck in his girl form.  Shampoo had been
trying to get him to marry him again, and got violent when 
he refused.  And he had gotten into another fight with Akane 
again, about something pointless as usual.
	But none of that was the reason he was up here.  It
had been almost a month  since the trip to China.  A month 
since he found that going to the pools to cure himself was
no longer an option.  And now, as if to mock him, he was stuck
in this body again.  
	He hated becoming a girl.  Sure, he'd gotten used to 
it, but he had never accepted it.  Every time, it required a
force of will merely to go on.  He became less of a man.  He
could never be...never be what was required of a husband.
	Ranma had been thinking about that a lot lately.  He
and Akane still fought, but now...he could finally admit to
himself that he loved her.  He couldn't admit it to her, not
just yet, but seeing her lying in front of him, apparently
dead, had crystallized a great many of Ranma's emotions.  He
realized now that he wanted to be with Akane for the rest of
his life.  Sure, they fought, but it was almost a reassuring
kind of argument.  And he was pretty sure that she felt the
same way about him.  There was only one thing preventing the
wedding - his curse.
	Nobody else minded, and wedding plans were still 
going through.  But Ranma could not allow himself to marry 
Akane like this.  He wanted everything to be resolved, he 
wanted to be a man, he wanted to be COMPLETE.
	Ranma stared at the setting sun.  It was about halfway
down the horizon now, and the shadows were growing longer.
As if echoing his feelings, he heard Nabiki's stereo playing
in her room down below.  She was listening to one of those 
English bands that were so popular here.  He began to listen
to the lyrics, in an attempt to avoid thinking about his
problems.

"'Here's a thought for everyman
  Who tries to understand what is in his hand
  He walks along the open road of love and life
  Surviving if he can'

	Story of my life, Ranma thought.  He'd spent almost
all of his life on the road, never really got to know anybody
well.  And now that he was settled, the problems of love and
life were all around him.  Ukyou, who loved him as he could
never love her.  Shampoo, who seemed to regard Ranma as a 
contest to be won.  And let's not even mention Kodachi.
	Then there was Ryouga, and Mousse.  All of the people
whose lives Ranma had ruined, accidentally or otherwise.  He
tried not to feel responsible, but he did.  He felt responsible
for all of them.  And on days like this, the weight of his 
burden almost crushed him.

"'Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say'"

	Why couldn't he tell her?  Was he so terrified that she
wouldn't think the same that he did?  He thought he knew how
he felt, but he didn't have the courage to face her.  He couldn't
show her his heart, for he wasn't sure if it was enough.  He
didn't know if loving her would be enough.  He wanted to be her
husband, dammit, BUT IT WASN"T ENOUGH!  
	Ranma began unconsciously to pound the roof with his
fists.  He tried to make all his thoughts go away, but the music
kept bringing it back.

"'Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay'"

	Jusenkyo.  The name was practically a curse word to him
now.  The place where all of his hopes and dreams had been drowned.
He couldn't blame Dad for it, after all, he was just as oblivious
to the guide's words.  He could blame himself, of course, but that
didn't really help.  No, the pools were what he constantly came
back to.  They had stolen part of him, replaced it with a fake
Ranma, with problems and concerns all her own.  And he had to
pretend that this, this FAKE was a part of himself. He pounded
harder.

"'Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say'"

	He couldn't make a decision about any part of his life.
He had four fiancees, and despite all of his love for Akane he 
couldn't get rid of them.  Ukyou would be shattered if he told her
his feelings, and so would Shampoo.  He didn't even want to hurt
Kodachi, though he was loathe to admit it.  And because of this,
he was constantly hurting the one person he cared about.

"'As he faced the sun he cast no shadow'"

	Ranma shuddered.  When he was six, he and his father had 
stopped at a temple for the night.  Ranma couldn't sleep, and 
wandered into the center.  What he found there astonished him.  
There were at least a thousand candles, all burning brightly.  The
walls and floor were crazed with shadows, flickering as if 
possessed.  Ranma had cried out in fear, and backed into one of
the monks at the temple.  His words stayed with him to this day.
	"What are you afraid of?  There is no reason to be afraid
of the shadows, young man.  Shadows are Heaven's representation of 
the soul.  When you see shadows, you are seeing the souls of all
of Heaven's creatures.  Do you see your shadow?  That is your soul.
Find comfort in that, young man, and do not fear the shadows."
	This had stayed with him more than anything else from that
period.  Shadows are a representation of the soul.  And it was the
one thing that he could find comfort in.
	At that moment, the sun dipped below the horizon, and a
darkness settled across the roof.

"'As they took his soul they stole his pride
  As they took his soul they stole his pride'"

	Ranma looked at himself and panicked.  His shadow was 
gone.  As small part of him was saying of course, you idiot, the 
sun has set, but he wasn't listening.  All of the thoughts he'd 
had in his head came crashing together.  Jusenkyo had stolen his 
soul.  He was incomplete.  The curse would remain with him 
forever.  He began to pound a large hole in the roof.

"'As he faced the sun he cast no shadow'"

	"SHUT UP!  STOP!"  Ranma screamed.  All of the tensions, 
all of the problems in his life, finally broke.  He began to sob, 
crying  harder and harder while still pounding his fists through 
the roof of the dojo.
	"Ranma!  What the hell do--" Akane stopped at the sight in
front of her.  Ranma was weeping, curling up into himself while
pounding his fists into the roof.  They were beginning to bleed
from the punishment.
	She ran up to him.  "Ranma?  What's wrong?"  He looked up
at her as if she were a life preserver, and thrust himself into
her arms.
	Akane was almost in a state of shock.  Ranma was pressing
his breasts against her, weeping like a baby.  "They've taken my 
shadow, it's gone, I don't have it.  It's this body's fault, it's 
her fault..."
	"Shh, Ranma.  It's all right.  Who's taken your shadow?"
	"Jusenkyo.  Look at me.  I don't have a shadow.  It's the
final curse."
	"But Ranma, it's dark."
	"So?"
	At that moment, some god must have been looking down on
them.  The streetlights in Nerima came on, throwing their light 
over the entire roof.
	"It's here!  It's not gone!  I have my soul!" Ranma was
babbling to himself.
	Akane was even more bewildered, but was relieved that
Ranma seemd to be all right again.
	Ranma came back to himself slowly.  The song had brought
up all of his feelings and memories, and it had been too much
for him.  The pure terror of the moment was still with him.  And
then he looked over at Akane, who was looking at him with a concern
that he rarely saw in her eyes, one that made him realize even 
more what he had to do.  Even if he couldn't bring himself to marry
her with this curse, at least he could tell her how he felt.
	"Ranma, are you all right?"
	Ranma smiled.  "I'm fine.  Thank you, Akane."
	Akane blushed.  Why was he being so nice to her all of
a sudden?
	"Akane, I wasn't able to tell you this in China, but I
have to tell you now.  I..."
	She looked at him, her embarrasment replaced by amazement.
	"Akane, I love you."
	She sat there for over a minute, amazed.
	Ranma was holding his breath.  Did she hear him?  What was
she doing?
	She grabbed him suddenly, hugging him tightly.  "Oh, Ranma, 
I love you, too."  She began to cry, but these were tears of 
happiness, and of relief.
	"I can't marry you now, because of the curse, but I will
find a cure, I swear it.  I want you to know that."
	"I understand, Ranma.  I can wait now.  It's a lot easier
knowing for sure."
	As they sat on the roof, holding onto one another for dear
life, the stereo could be heard, but it was playing something 
different now.

"'And I want you to know
  I've got my mind made up now
  But I need more time
  And I want you to say
  Do you know what I'm saying?
  But I need more...
  'Cause I'll be you and you'll be me
  There's lots and lots for us to see
  Lots and lots for us to do
  If she is electric, can I be electric too?'"




Short Author's notes:

This came about because of a scene I cut from the final draft
of Sour Times, and a way I found to make it work better.  I'm
actually very happy with the result.  Comments are always
appreciated.  Post it to the list, it'll make me feel more
important.

The songs are "Cast No Shadow" and "She's Electric", by Oasis.

If I got some volume 38 details wrong, sorry.  I'm working
from a synopsis found on the Iczer pages.

Yeah, they're really nice to each other in this.  Oh, well.
Sue me.  I needed a happy ending to go with my emotional
torture.


--Sean Gaffney
--"You git!  I thought you were dead!  Git git git!" - Benny, No Future