Subject: Happy Endings - jumbo review by the Happy Guy From: gaffney@iconn.net (Sean Gaffney) Date: 1996/04/30 Message-Id: <4m5ibg$dtu@news.iconn.net> Organization: i-Conn Newsgroups: rec.arts.drwho Well, here we go. This review was pretty much a given, but for those who like to watch me wibble on about how great something is, read on. This also contains a quick-ref of who's where from what book. Thus, this review is longer than my others. Actually, read on anyway. This book is something special. SPOILERS for "Happy Endings" I sorta knew I'd like this book. It was the ideal plot for a person of my romantic nature -- everyone gets married and lives happily ever after. Throw in some bad puns and it would seem that the book is catered to my reviewing tastes. But lets get to the important bits. Plot - Yes, there actually is one. Actually, this book had some very intriguing plot threads, with dozens of red herrings (I'd like to see Paul write a Campion). The villain was given away, but it was fairly obvious, anyway. But for the most part, this is a book of character scenes, with occasional plot interruptions. These are done well, though. The Doctor - Surprisingly melancholy. The Seventh Doctor has always been a manic depressive, but this one really makes him think on his life. He almost runs away (a suicidally dangerous option for him), until Benny points out the advice he told her in Love and War - you can't be alone, Doctor. And, you must admit, he throws a hell of a wedding. Bernice - Utterly brilliant. It's everything we could have expected for a companion this beloved. At the end of the book, Bernice is truly happy, and actually looking forward to having children. This isn't to say she's like this through the whole book - she tends to be in a jealous rage, partly by herself and partly through the intervention of an annoying android. Anyway, I know Benny will be back, but for the moment, she's gone. All the best. Jason (both of them) - No, I'm not referring to Mr. Miller. There are two Jasons in this book, and I must admit to liking Benny's better. He's a lot more passive in this book that in D&D, but that fits with the manic highs and lows that Benny goes through. The other Jason - well, I dont think it's gonna work out. Good luck, though. Hopefully, we'll see Jason 1 in Return of the Living Dad. Dorothee - You know, with an egume, or whatever it is. I think Paul is getting revenge on people who see Ace as merely a shag-monster. She certainly gets her fair share in this book, and the scene where she names all her lovers is a stitch. However, the last of the Ace-growing-up bits is in here, so this is the Ace that everyone is stuck with. The final bit with her mother is wonderful. And she dreams of shagging Jarvis Cocker. (Impeccable taste.) Roz - Gets along well with Holmes, but didn't really have a lot to do. Chris - Speaking of shag-monsters...is this guy gonna knock up every woman he sleeps with? That's talent! Seriously, perhaps Chris could have an affair that didn't end in a pregnancy that's kept secret from him. Anyway, he's as well done as Chris gets. Hopefully he'll get more characeter bits in the future. The Master - Yep, he's the villain. Surprise. And, to quote Paul, as a villain, he's utterly crap. His plan is stupid, the consequences are horrific, and he gets beaten to a pulp. I know it's not Ainley's Master, but it felt like him, right down to the over the top screams. And it's in May, too. Coincidence? Villagers - the Special K combo. Jason, Felicity, Laura and Steve actually have big parts in this book. Graeme Burk gets a mention too. The villagers are interesting to watch, as they gradually come to accept the aliens that have come for the wedding. Annie Trelaw is very good, Saul is comforting as always, you know - what can I say about this fabulous elixir? UNIT - Now The Brig was a surprise. In fact, I'm willing to bet that this is *the* surprise that everyone talks about. Mike and John are fine. The Isley Brothers - Proving that not all time accidents are bad, they are actually a major force in this book. "Summer Breeze" is as beautiful as ever, plus it'll make you think of this. Very well written, especially O'Kelly (who almost gets Kadiatu - a dangerous undertaking). The cover - well...everyone looks too long. One Doctor is drawn well, one isn't. Annie Trelaw looks awful. However, Benny and Jason look fantastic. REFERENCES Now, let's try this logically. Mentions, and then what I thought. Timewyrm: Genesys - Gilgamesh is at the reception. Solely there to tie in the book. As annoying as ever. Timewyrm: Exodus - Hemmings sort of makes an appearance. Timewyrm: Apocalypse: ? [Raphael?] Timewyrm: Revelation: The village, Saul, etc. Plus, we see that the Timewyrm isn't quite dead. Wonder how Ishtar'll deal with that. Cat's Cradle: Time's Crucible - I have no clue. Was DaVinci in this book? Cat's Cradle: Warhead - Creed is outside, and Benny says hello. Plus, Vincent and Justine are mentioned in connection with Tasham. Cat's Cradle: Witch Mark - Herne. I like the bit with the cake. And Bat's there, too. Nightshade: Robin Yeadon, in one of the most beautiful bits of closure I've ever seen. Love and War: Maire, and an excellent scene where Benny and Jason finally confirm their trust in each other. No, she's not dead. Transit - Kadiatu, still being herself. Nice chat with the Brig. The Highest Science - The Eight-Twelves, resolving one of the most annoying cliffhangers in the first two pages of the book. Glad they're out of that one. The Pit - William Blake, weird as ever. Can I just say that Neil Penswick's paragraph is one of the weirder in this book? I hope he got permission from Neil Gaiman. Deceit - Elaine and Francis, in a rare serious bit in the book. Rather sad that war is still the only answer. Lucifer Rising - ? No clue. White Darkness - Petion, his wife, and a nice bottle of whatever. Shadowmind - Kim Talevera, now recovered. Birthright - The Charll, from the Doctor's original TARDIS. And Popov, the Russian detective, now living in London. And, of course, Muldwych. We still don't know who he is, but he's free now. Iceberg - Ruby Duvall. Hate her new beau, though. At least she cleared up her issues with the Doctor. Blood Heat - The original TARDIS. What do you expect? The Dimension Riders - Professor James Rafferty. The same. Do we ever find out what the Doctor's task is? The Left-Handed Hummingbird - Cristian and Ben, doing very well for themselves. And Hamlet Macbeth, easily the most annoying character *ever* in the NA's, is given a chance of redemption. I still don't like him, though. Conundrum - The AFKATMOTLOF, in a nice Prince ref. I liked this, because with his wibbling on about self references and happy endings, he reminded me of a certain happy guy... No Future - Plasticine, complete with Kit/Ian Levine. I like the spot of world changing at the end. Thank God for O'Kelly Isley. Tragedy Day - Forgwyn, who seems *really* uncomfortable. Legacy - A whole passel of Ice Warriors, plus Keri and Kitai. Benny gets to snog with Savaar again. Is Kitai supposed to be Jon now? Theatre of War - Irving Braxiatel, as weird as ever. He and Blake would get along famously. All-Consuming Fire - Holmes and Watson, who have a large role in solving the mystery. Watson's just as horny. I like the fact that Holmes can still be Holmes. Blood Harvest - Dekker, being annoyingly PI-ish, IMO. Strange England - Richard and Charlotte, in a beautifully bittersweet paragraph. My favorite in the "guest" slots. First Frontier - The Master, attempting to duplicate Tzun technology. St. Anthony's Fire - Liso, getting on a bit. Falls the Shadow - The Grey Man, in another of my favorite "guest" paragraphs. Nice present. Gabriel and Tanith get a few mentions. Parasite - ? I don't think there was anything. Jim was the only author absent. Isn't everyone dead? Warlock - Creed (see Warhead). Set Piece - Vivant Denon, as French as ever. Count Sorin is mentioned as having been frightened off by Ace. Infinite Reqiuem - ? Sanctuary - Bernice deals with her feelings for Guy. (he's not there, of course.) Human Nature - Alexander, finally managing to score. Plus the Doctor asks about Joan. Original Sin - Dentalion and Beltempest. Didn't really make much of an impression. Sky Pirates! - Nathan Li Shao, Leetha, Kiru, and Sgloomi Po, being as po-faced as ever (well, what else can he be?). Zamper - The Chelonians at the beginning, I guess. ? Toy Soldiers - 'Manda, rather muted from her experiences. Head Games - TAFKATMOTLOF. The Also People - AM!xista, still Kadiatu's companion. and SaRa!qava, who brings news of Chris shagging his way 'round the galaxy. Shakedown - Lisa Deranne. Kurt is mysteriously absent. Hmmm, wonder if Stephen Grief took his role. Just War - The child, now grown up, of Anne Doras. Plus the return of Benny's diary via Steinmann. Warchild - Creed (See a pattern here?) Sleepy - Cinnabar and Byerley get a mention. Death and Diplomacy - Jason. Duh. GREAT LINES: "We Have to Kill the Parasites, Because We're So Much Better than They Are." "I fought Trelaw and Trelaw won." [aaaaaigh....] Benny calls Jason a git, so I guess I'll have to make do with that. "Have you been to the decolletage...I mean, the Dordogne?" "Jason 2: The Revenge." Almost everything said by the two camp Earth Reptiles... Almost everything said by Sgloomi Po... The last line (see .sig) THE CHAPTER (Everybody's Welcome At The Wedding) : Actually, pretty damn good. Jim wasn't there. Some of them more evocative than others, of course. As I've said, Simon Messingham and Daniel O'Mahony get honors from me. But of course, the real honors go to Paul. RANDOM MUSINGS: I do actually believe that almost everything was wrapped up. The continuity bits were fixed, Ace and her Mother finally met, and all worked out. They even split Jason between Ace and Benny, 'cause he's such a great guy and all. This book was really written for the fans of the NAs. It can be read as a stand-alone, but, having read all the NAs, I can't imagine what that would be like. It is a present from Paul and Rebecca, who know that Bernice's happiness is something that we've been waiting for for a long time. If you're a fan, and you're worried, don't be. This is written by an authors who loves the NAs, and this is not only Bernice's going away, but his as well. We'll miss you, Paul. (Though you're still here, of course.) Do I need to bother with a rating? 10/10. (Guess that's a yes.) --Sean Gaffney --"And a love, for all seasons." - Paul Cornell, Happy Endings.