At first, they had slept in the same bed because of trust.  That is, the 
lack of trust on both their parts.  Mireille's statement that once they had 
discovered their mutual past, she would kill Kirika, as well as Kirika's own 
unemotional skill at assassination, had hung between them.  As they slept, 
pressed together near each other, they could sense any movement, could tell if 
either partner's breathing changed.  Knew when to be prepared to shoot.

     And after the battle with Chloe and Altena, and the destruction of one of 
Soldats' main influences, they had slept together for protection.  They had no 
idea whether Greypaul would come after them or not.  Mireille knew that he 
still included them in his plans for Soldats, and no matter how much she and 
Kirika tried to extricate themselves from them, he would continue to include 
them.  They were Noir.  Altena's death didn't change that.

     So after their recovery and the rebuilding of Mireille's apartment (she 
stubbornly had refused to consider moving somewhere else), they slept in the 
same bed and spent the nights waiting for another attack, waiting for the 
opportunity to demonstrate once more that they were not pawns, and were not a 
force of nature, that they could decide their own future.

     But staying on edge for so long is unhealthy, even for the best 
professionals.  Eventually, when the attacks they feared didn't come, Kirika 
and Mireille had to relax their guard a bit and admit that perhaps Soldats was 
letting them be for a while.  

     Still, they slept together.  Kirika was still recovering from the affair 
at the Manor - not physically, but emotionally.  Her emotions had been up and 
down ever since their reunion - one day she'd be the monosyllabic girl 
Mireille had first met, another she'd be staring out the window, tears 
streaming down her face.  And at night she'd wake up shivering on occasion, 
another memory coming to light while she slept.  She still didn't remember 
everything that Altena had done to her, and Mireille suspected some of her 
past was buried forever.  Considering the tragedy of what they had in common, 
it was probably for the best.

     Kirika was already asleep tonight, though it was restless.  There wasn't 
any more paranoia between them, but Mireille still felt more comfortable if 
she fell asleep after Kirika had.  It would have been the same with anyone 
else.  Mireille was a solitary person.  Other people made her uncomfortable.

     Well, mostly.  She had to admit that Kirika had become a large exception 
to that rule.  Mireille could have abandoned her, could have let her go back 
to the Manor and be used by Chloe and Altena for their own purposes.  But she 
hadn't.  She had gone there to rescue Kirika.  partly because she worried that 
True Noir's first assignment would be to kill her, but mostly due to the 
letter.  That letter had devestated her, and made her face up to the fact that 
she had helped shape Kirika into the woman she was, and she'd be damned if 
Soldats would take that away from her.

     "Mireille... Mireille, no..."

     Mireille sat up.  Kirika was beginning to toss and turn in the bed, 
obviously in the throes of another nightmare.  Mireille gently touched her 
shoulder.  "Wake up."

     "Mireille... Chloe, stop!"

     Mireille shook harder.  She hated it when Kirika had nightmares, and she 
really hated it when they were about Chloe.  She knew Chloe's death haunted 
Kirika, and sometimes felt guilty that her own thoughts on the other woman 
were essentially 'good riddance'.

     "You're dreaming.  It's all right.  I'm here."  She didn't want to wake 
Kirika too fast, but shook her a little harder.

     Suddenly Kirika sat straight up, her eyes wide.  "Mireille..." she 
whispered.

     Mireille moved in front of her.  "Here.  You're awake now."

     Kirika stared at her intently, as if to verify that Mireille wasn't going 
anywhere.  And then suddenly she reached up to take Mireille's head in her 
hands, and kissed her.

      Mireille was so startled that for a moment she simply sat there, her 
brain temporarily frozen.  This wasn't a 'I was having a bad nightmare, thank 
you for waking me up' kiss.  This definitely had the overtones of 'I want to 
remove all your clothing and make love to you for hours' in it.  And 
Mireille's body, working on its own since her brain was in neutral, began to 
respond to the kiss, move closer to Kirika and kiss her in return.

     Suddenly Mireille began to realize what she was doing, and pulled away.  
She stared down at Kirika, who also seemed to be coming back to herself.  
Kirika stared down at the floor, looking for all the world as if she wanted to 
die right there.  "I...I'm sorry, Mireille..."

     Mireille had always found it very difficult to be angry with Kirika.  The 
closest she'd ever come was when their joint past was revealed.  And even then 
she wasn't able to bring herself to kill the young girl.  The phrase 'it would 
be like kicking a puppy' was made for Kirika.

     Besides, she wasn't really sure if she was angry.

     She sighed.  "It's alright.  Why don't we just go back to sleep, and we 
can talk about things in the morning?"

     Kirika's eyes were still wide, but eventually she nodded.  "Mm," she 
murmured, and began to get up.

     Mireille grabbed her arm.  "You don't have to go to the couch, Kirika.  I 
don't mind your sleeping here."  

     By the look in Kirika's eyes, that had been exactly what she was about to 
do.  For a moment she stood frozen, still unsure of her actions.  Mireille 
debated smiling at her, and decided it would probably look plastered on and 
scare her even more.  So she just motioned her head towards the bed, and 
Kirika acquiesed.

     Needless to say, Mireille did not go back to sleep immediately.  It 
didn't help that Kirika was lying there so stiffly it was like sleeping next 
to a block of wood.  But her brain, so unresponsive earlier, was now moving at 
about a hundred kilometers an hour.  

     She was angry with herself for being so off her guard she had allowed 
Kirika to kiss her - what if it had been an assassin out to kill them?  She 
was upset that she had returned the kiss just like that.  Was her body that 
desperate for contact?  She'd long ago made her decision that she wouldn't 
allow herself to get involved with anyone - or thought she had.  
Unfortunately, Kirika was closer to her now than probably anyone else had been 
since her uncle.  Closer, in fact.  She had feelings for Kirika that she would 
never have for her uncle.

     She remembered Kirika's note.  The note that had her sitting on the floor 
of her ruined apartment in tears.  ~Mireille... Mireille, whom I cherish...~

     They would definitely need to discuss this in the morning...

***

     The morning wasn't, sadly, any easier.  Neither of them had spoken since 
they'd gotten up.  Kirika had slipped into the bathroom first, and was now 
preparing breakfast with an almost frenetic concentration.  Mireille sighed.  
She hated this sort of mood, which was odd, as normally she cherished the 
quiet.  She and Kirika had sometimes spent days together without saying more 
than 3 sentences all day.  But they were comfortable silences.  There wasn't 
any need for words.  This was an awkward, ill-fitting silence that hung in the 
room between them.

     Mireille took her shower quickly while she thought of what to say.  Every 
time she thought of a way to bring it up, she rejected it.  Kirika may be 
emotionally stunted, but Mireille wasn't that much better herself.  She 
reacted to people getting close with a caustic comment or a deepening frown.  
Anything she came up with seemed too hurtful.  She didn't want to hurt Kirika.  
The woman had been hurt enough already.

     In fact, it wasn't even just the kiss they had to talk about.  They'd 
consciously avoided discussing anything about Soldats or their pasts ever 
since they escaped from the Manor.  As if once it was mentioned, they would 
lose whatever they had gained back.  Which was stupid.  Mireille already knew 
what Kirika had done to her parents.  She had still gone to save Kirika from 
Altena's schemes.  She had to.

     Drying off, Mireille made her decision.  Start with other issues, work 
towards the kiss.  The killings, Chloe, Altena, Soldats.  Hell, they might not 
even have time to get to last night.

     She came out, still drying her hair, to see Kirika staring out of the 
window.  No surprises there.  "Kirika," she called.  The name felt strange on 
her lips.  She almost never used it.  It was not, after all, her real name.

     Kirika turned.  "Mireille..."

     "Yes?"  Even better, Kirika seemed to be initiating things.

     "If I had stayed at the Manor, and Chloe had lost her memory and gone to 
find you, would she be here now?  Would I be dead?"

     Mireille stopped dead in her tracks.  "What?!"

     "What if it had been her?  You heard her when we were fighting.  Chloe 
said it was supposed to be her in Paris.  I don't know what she meant by that.  
Was she supposed to be the one to be with you?  What made Altena change her 
mind?"  Kirika was looking out the window again, and Mireille was sure that if 
she turned, there would be tears.

     Mireille sat down by the pool table and tried to collect her thoughts.  
"I don't think that's what she meant," Mireille said.

     Kirika looked over at her.  Mireille was right, she was crying.  "What?"

     Mireille got up and walked over to Kirika.  This wasn't how she had 
planned to start things, but she decided to take the bull by the horns anyway.  
"Kirika, did you know Chloe was in love with you?"

     Kirika started, then looked down, ashamed.  "Yes.  When we were at the 
manor... we were bathing, and she kissed me."

     This startled Mireille, who felt an odd flare of jealousy inside her.  
Chloe had kissed Kirika?  Was that why Kirika was so dark when she arrived?  
Had Chloe already been seducing her?

     Kirika went on.  "But I just stood there, and so she stopped.  I wasn't 
really thinking clearly at the time.  I wonder... was she hurt?  If I had 
stopped her, talked about her feelings... would she have died?  Would she have 
attacked you?"

     Mireille sighed.  "Probably.  Chloe, Kirika wasn't saying she wanted to 
be the one to go to Paris to be with me.  She was saying she wanted she and 
YOU to be in Paris.  She was in love with you.  I was just an obstacle."

     Kirika shook her head.  "That's not true!  She wanted us to be friends 
that night!"

     "She wanted to be friends with me because I was friends with you.  
Kirika, I don't know much about Chloe, but from what little I saw I think she 
was obsessed with you."

     "She was just like me... we were both raised by Altena.  If we had 
changed places..."

     Mireille reached out and touching Kirika's shoulder.  "Then things would 
have been completely different.  You and Chloe aren't alike.  You can't simply 
ask yourself 'what if it happened this way?'.  There's no point.  What if you 
and I weren't part of Soldats?  What if I was still in Corsica, and you in 
Japan, and we'd never met?  You can play that game all day."

     "I'll never know, Mireille.  I still don't remember a lot.  I don't know 
who my real parents were.  All I remember are Chloe and Altena.  I'll never 
have a past."  She could feel Kirika's tension in her shoulders - she hadn't 
been this wound up since they'd gone to fight Altena.

     This wasn't the first time Mireille had considered this.  "We could ask 
Greypaul."  She had to force the words out of her mouth.  She never wanted 
anything to do with Soldats again.  But they were also the only ones who would 
know anything about Kirika's parents.

     But Kirika was shaking her head.  "He'd ask for us to do something.  I 
won't let him do that."

     Now it was Mireille's turn to ask something.  "Kirika, what do you want 
us to do?  We're not working for Soldats, but... we're still Noir.  Should we 
make ourselves available again?"

     Kirika didn't say anything for some time.  Mireille let her think; she 
had already made her decision but didn't want to influence Kirika in any way.  
She already suspected the only reason Kirika didn't go to Greypaul was she 
knew how much Mireille hated Soldats.

     After a moment, Kirika spoke.  "Yes.  We have skills, and we should use 
them."

     Mireille relaxed.  "I think so too."

     "But Mireille?"

     "Yes?"

     "Do you remember the Russian?"

     Mireille nodded.  She had been thinking about him the other day, in fact, 
when she considered getting a cat for the apartment.

     "If it happens again... we'll let him die in peace."

     "Of course."  Mireille smiled.  It was reassuring to hear that from 
Kirika.  Mireille had come to rely on her to be the conscience of Noir, odd as 
that sounded.

     They both ground to a half, Mireille's arm still on Kirika's shoulder.  
It was about time that they got to last night.  Neither one of them wanted to 
be the first to bring it up.  Mireille finally forced herself to start 
talking.

     "A long time ago, when I had just begun my career, I met someone.  We 
were drawn to each other, and began seeing each other.  It was the first time 
I'd ever been in love."

     Kirika looked up, clearly not expecting this.  She remained silent, 
listening intently.