Ah! My Goddess - Proposal

by Sean Gaffney

All major characters (c) 1996 Kosuke Fujishima and used without permission
except
Kenji (c) 1995 Ed Sharpe.  Used with kind permission.

*****************

Keiichi Morisato stood on the front porch of the temple, long
before everyone had gotten up, and tried to sort out his thoughts.
He knew what he wanted to do, and he knew how to accomplish it, 
but there was one problem:  he was scared to death.

It had been a fairly peaceful year for the four of them, Keiichi
thought.  Oh, there had been the usual demons, potions, and
what have you, but nothing disastrous.  Nothing that pulled him
away from his goddess.

Those days two years ago had been the most frightening days of 
Keiichi's life.  Belldandy, the woman he...was going to be taken
away from him, and all because of a computer error.  It wasn't
the removal of her that caused him the most heartbreak, however;
it was the fact that he had never told her anything about his 
feelings.  He couldn't bear to see her leave without him telling 
her that he...

This was shameful.  If he couldn't even think the words, how could
he possibly say them to Belldandy?  He was in love with her.  He
wanted to marry her.  There.  He had admitted it to himself.  
When he first made his wish, he hadn't really thought of the 
consequences.  He didn't really think that it would be granted, 
after all.  But the next few minutes made him think about what he 
had gotten himself into.  He had been thrown out of his dorm, 
with almost no money, and certainly nowhere that he could stay.  
By all rights, he should have called the whole thing off.  And 
yet...whenever he looked into her eyes, he couldn't think of 
anything else but having his wish come true.

He didn't know when these feelings had become actual love.  Probably
that evening, as they sat talking on the benches.  Keiichi had
asked why he had been chosen to receive a wish, and Belldandy had
said that only the most worthy were allowed to get help from
goddesses.  For Keiichi, who had a *very* big problem with self-
esteem, this was exactly what he wanted to hear.

That was one of the big reasons for his thoughts of marriage.
Whenever he was with Belldandy, he felt as if he could accomplish
anything.  She made him feel special, and it showed in everything
she did for him.

Keiichi frowned.  That was another thing they had to talk about.
Belldandy, as soon as she entered his life, had become almost the
image of the perfect Japanese wife.  She cooked the meals, she
did the laundry, she took care of everything.  Whenever Keiichi
had tried to help, she had shooed him off, saying that it was her
duty.  Once, when she had stayed up all night, Keiichi had made 
breakfast for them the next morning.  Belldandy, upon seeing
this, had run off crying.  Only successive apologies from Keiichi
had convinced her that he didn't hate her food.  If she wasn't a
goddess, he would have said she had as bad a self-image as he did.

Keiichi sighed.  There were so many reasons, in his mind, why he
felt that they should be married.  For it wasn't only his love
that drove him on.  The two of them complemented each other, 
finding strength when needed.  Even when Urd had been possessed
by the Lord of Terror, he had not even thought about leaving her
side.  Likewise, she did not forsake him when he was taken over
by the same entity.  He felt as if, for some reason, they were
fated to be together.

Unfortunately, there were also many reasons why marriage would be
out of the question.  Keiichi knew, from legends and occasional
drunken stories from Urd, that relationships between gods and
mortals never worked out.  Urd had been trying to get them together
for almost three years now, but he felt that Urd meant more of a
physical bonding than an emotional or legal one.

Keiichi's mind shied away from the thought, as it always did.  He
liked to imagine that his love for Belldandy was utterly pure, but
he knew this was a lie.  There was a healthy dose of lust in his
love for Belldandy.  Hell, why wouldn't there be?  Belldandy was 
the most stunning woman he had ever met.  Urd may try to ooze
sex all the time, but Belldandy had an innocence that made her 
every movement perfect.  Several times Keiichi had had to stop 
himself from these thoughts.

It's not as if gods and goddesses couldn't...you know.  Urd boasted
of all the men she had had over the years.  Keiichi privately 
suspected that the total wasn't as great as she made it out to be, 
but Urd was certainly no virgin.  He was almost positive Belldandy
was, though.  Could he...bring himself to do that, if they were
married?  He knew he wanted her body, but the sheer *idea* of
bedding a goddess was enough to give him pause.  Another problem
to work out.

He didn't even know if this would be allowed to happen.  After all,
Belldandy's contract pretty much existed only at heaven's bequest.
Would Kami-sama allow one of his top ranking goddesses to marry a
mortal with barely means to support himself, let alone a family?
Further, could he give Belldandy that kind of life?

Keiichi knew the reasons that he had all these questions crowding
into his mind.  He was just avoiding actually doing anything.  Well,
that was going to change today.  A few times over the past few
months, he had tried to get Belldandy alone to tell her of his
feelings.  Then Urd or Skuld or someone else would come along, and 
the moment would be ruined.  Keiichi was beginning to think that fate
was stepping in whenever he got Belldandy alone...

Alone...

Keiichi suddenly sat bolt upright, an idea coursing through his head.
Of course!  If he couldn't get Belldandy alone to tell her of his
feelings, then he'd just have to try another way.

He heard Belldandy's alarm go off, with some sweet little song about
trust and help.  About five seconds later, Skuld's alarm went off.
Loudly.  "UH, OH!  WE'RE IN TROUBLE!  SOMETHING'S COME ALONG AND IT'S
BURST OUR BUBBLE!  YEAH, YEAH!"

Keiichi sighed yet again.  Another day off to a great start.  Oh,
well, hopefully he'd be making some changes soon.  He went back into 
the house, preparing in his mind what he had to do.

***

"Sure. Keiichi!  What's the occasion?"

Megumi had just arrived at her apartment from softball practice, to
find Keiichi on the phone asking her to dinner at the temple.

"Well, I'd kind of like to keep that a surprise.  It's just gonna
be you and Kenji, though, plus the four of us."

Megumi frowned.  Keiichi was up to something.  She could tell, 
because he wasn't hesitating and stuttering as he spoke.  Whenever
Keiichi got coherent, it meant that he was planning some major
decision.  Megumi could guess what that might be.

"OK!  Hey, Keiichi, should I bring anything?  Y'know, like an
engagement present or anything..."

She could hear Keiichi blush from over the phone.  She loved doing
this to him, mainly because even after all these years, he still
reacted the same way.

"That won't be necessary.  Just come, OK, Megumi?"

"Sure!  I'll be there at 6:30!"

Megumi hung up with an excited expression on her face.  She'd 
known for a while how much in love Keiichi was with the gaijin
girl who he "lived with", but didn't think he'd ever be able to
do anything about it.  The fact that he was showed Megumi that he 
was finally accepting responsibility for the relationship, a
responsibility that seemed long overdue.  I mean, let's face it,
Belldandy did everything short of ripping off his clothes and dragging
him to the bedroom to show her love for him, and because of his 
shyness, Keiichi hadn't even said anything to her about it.

Of course, that was easy for her to say.  Megumi had never been
exactly what one would call shy.  In fact, she tended to be the
sort of person that cynics describe as annoyingly perky.  Plus, she
hadn't really had a serious relationship yet, not for any long
period of time.  Keiichi was at least living with Belldandy, though
Megumi was pretty sure that absolutely nothing was happening there.
After all, Belldandy's sisters were living at the temple as well,
which must make private moments awkward.

Anyway, it looked like all that was about to change.  Smiling,
Megumi went in her room to get ready for the dinner.

***

"Hi, cousin.  What can I do for you?"

Kenji had just come back from the computer lab, where he was doing
a summer project.

"Well, I'm having a little get together tonight, and I was wondering
if you could make it?"

Kenji felt his heart leap, as it always did whenever he got this 
chance.  Wild horses wouldn't be able to drag him away.

"You bet!  I'll be there!  Umm...Skuld is going to be there, too,
right?"

He heard Keiichi laugh softly, and cursed himself for being 
incredibly obvious.

"Yeah, Kenji, she'll be here.  6:30, OK?"

"OK."  Kenji hung up the phone and sat at the table for a moment.

He and Skuld had known each other for six months now, but he still
felt like a five-year-old with a new toy.  Sure, they were 
uncomfortable with each other, but it was a...*comforting* sort of
uncomfort.  A feeling that they were only just managing to hold in
passions that, sooner or later, would have to be let out.

Kenji put a hold on those thoughts right away.  Later.  Skuld was
still only fifteen, and neither of them was ready for any of those
problems just yet.  Plus, Urd was watching his every move to make
sure that absolutely nothing happened, and he suspected, in her own
way, that Belldandy was as well.

Still, that didn't mean he would turn down a chance to be near her.
Kenji began to get dressed, his mind full of confusing thoughts.

***

Keiichi had to content himself with telling Belldandy to cook for 
two more, rather than cooking the meal himself.  Now was definitely
not the time for any misunderstandings between them.  Besides,
with Belldandy cooking the food, he knew that it would be perfect.

He glanced around the table.  Megumi and Belldandy were chatting 
merrily away about something or other.  Kenji and Skuld sat across
from one another, playing the game of not looking at each other, 
then sneaking little glances.  And Urd was on her third glass of
wine, staring off into space.  

Keiichi frowned.  Ever since Kenji and Skuld had met, Urd had been
going through increasingly longer bouts of depression.  Her sisters
falling in love had hurt her deeply, Keiichi suspected.  Urd
had had a few relationships here on earth, but most of them tended
to be short, passionate affairs.  Belldandy had told him once of
some god who she loved, who then went off in a search for a golden
peach.  If Urd was gonna fall in love with guys like that, good 
luck to her.

They'd almost finished; if he was going to do anything, it would
have to be now.

"Can I say something for a moment?"

Everyone quieted down to look at Keiichi.  He got up at his place
and faced them.  He felt like he was giving a speech.  In a sense,
maybe he was.

"Um...you're probably wondering why I called you all here."  Good
start, Keiichi, he chided himself.  "I've been...trying to accomplish
something for a long time, and it hasn't been going well.  Belldandy,
you know the times I've asked you for a private moment alone, and
before I could say anything, we were always interrupted?"

"Of course, Keiichi-san.  After a while, it got to be quite
amusing."  Belldandy was smiling at him.  Did she really have no
idea what he was saying?

"Yeah, it was really funny.  Anyway, after a while I began to 
wonder why we were always interrupted, and I thought that maybe if
I...said what I had to say with people here, then it would at
least cut down the chances for being interrupted."

"Well, what do you want to tell me, Keiichi-san?"

Keiichi took a look around the table.  Urd and Skuld were looking
at him *very* suspiciously.  Kenji, of course, was looking at
Skuld.  And Megumi was grinning from ear to ear.  He would get her
for that later.

He took a deep breath.  Three years of his life had been building up
to this.  If he didn't say it now, he would never forgive himself.

"Belldandy, almost three years ago, you came into my life.  Since
then, we've been together almost all the time.  But...I've never 
really told you how I feel.  And I need to, because..."

He could feel his strength leaving.  Get it out, NOW.

"Belldandy, I love you with all my heart.  Will you marry me?"

***

Skuld had been quiet through the entire dinner.  She had no idea
why Keiichi had invited Kenji here, but she had no reason to
complain.  For six months, she and Kenji had tried to see as much
of each other as possible.  They went out for ice cream, or on
long walks.  Despite all this, she and Kenji still acted like
they'd just met.  She couldn't even meet his eyes across the table.

Skuld had no idea, really, what the whole story was between Keiichi
and her sister.  She knew that Belldandy stayed with Keiichi for
more of a reason than the contract, but couldn't possibly imagine
what it was.  However, whenever she was with Kenji, she began to have
these disturbing feelings.  Her heart began doing back-flips, and she
couldn't speak.  There was also a fair amount of guilt in there.
She wanted to tell Kenji the truth about her, but knew that if she
did that, any chance of their friendship continuing would be gone.

Keiichi called them to attention, and she slowly rose out of her
reverie.  He was saying something about being alone, and something
that he needed to tell Belldandy.  Skuld narrowed her eyes.  What
was he going to do to her sister?  If he called off the contract, 
she'd pound Keiichi.

"Belldandy, I love you with all my heart.  Will you marry me?"

What?!?  Skuld couldn't believe what she just heard.  She looked
around the table.  Urd was looking at Keiichi with an amazed 
expression.  Belldandy shared that expression.  But there was
something else.  She could see, in Belldandy's face, and in the
way she held herself, that this was something she *wanted*.  That
she was going to accept!

"No!"  Skuld found herself standing up before she knew what she
was thinking.  "Keiichi, what are you thinking!  You actually think
you're good enough for my sister!  She's a goddess!  She has 
responsibilities!  What would everyone else in Heaven say!  You
can't possibly be serious!"

Skuld, panting, looked around the room.  Urd and Keiichi both had 
their heads in their hands.  Belldandy was looking at her as if 
she'd just gone over to Marller's side.  And Megumi and Kenji...

Wait.  Rewind.

Goddess?  Heaven?  Everyone *else*?

Oh, no.  NO.  She didn't.

Skuld's expression turned to one of terror.  She'd done it.  She
had said that they were goddesses.  In  front of two other mortals.
In front of *Kenji*.

Kenji was looking at Skuld with an expression that Skuld couldn't 
read.  He stood there with his mouth open, waiting for her to say
anything else.  Something that would take back the words that she 
just said.

What had she *done*?!

"I...I...I'M SORRY!  I'M SORRY!"

Skuld ran out of the room, into her bedroom, and slammed the door.
As she did so, she felt as if she could feel her life crashing 
down around her, trying to bury her.  For the moment, she let it.

***

Megumi sat and stared at the table.  Skuld was heard slamming her
door, and the sound of muffled sobs soon followed it.  Everyone
else was stock still, trying to take in everything that had just 
happened.

There was no question of denying it.  Skuld's emotions had been
far too fiery and surface to play any sort of a joke.  She had
said that Belldandy was a goddess.  It followed that Urd and Skuld 
were as well.  What's more, Megumi wondered why she hadn't seen it
before.  All the inexplicable hints, the little impossibilities
that seemed to follow Keiichi...after all, Megumi was religious,
to a point.  She believed in heaven as a physical thing.  Why not
believe that a goddess or three would come down from heaven and
live with her brother.

Oh, God.

She looked at Keiichi.  He had picked himself up from the table
where he had collapsed after Skuld's pronouncement.  He looked
at her, expecting a glare or something.  She smiled at him.  
Keiichi wasn't to blame for this.  There could be no way he'd be
able to reveal something like this, not even to her.  She nodded
over to Belldandy, indicating where his attention should be at 
that moment.

Megumi looked over at Belldandy, and saw the conflicting emotion in
her eyes.  This shouldn't be happening to her, not all at once.  
Belldandy looked over towards Skuld's room.

"Urd?"

Urd looked up, and spoke for what Megumi thought was the first time
that night.  Her speech was somewhat slurred.

"I'd try, but I don't think it would get us anywhere.  You know the
two of us, Belldandy.  We'd just end up screaming at each other."
Urd looked sorrowful, as if she knew how this made her look.

Belldandy turned her attention to Keiichi, agony in her eyes.  
"Keiichi-san...I have to - "

"Go, Belldandy," Keiichi said, though not without a certain pain
in his eyes.  "Skuld needs you to be there for her now.  Maybe you
can...explain things to her.  I can wait.  After all," and here he 
looked down, "I've already told you how I feel."

To Megumi's eyes, the look that passed between them at that moment
was one of the most heartrending she had ever seen.  "Thank you, 
Keiichi-san," Belldandy said, and quickly got up.  "Urd, I would
like you with me, regardless of your past with Skuld."

"Yeah, alright."  And with that, the two goddesses left the room, 
leaving the remains of the dinner party to attempt an explanation.

***

Keiichi could not believe what had just happened.  The meal had
gone even worse than he thought it might.  He still didn't know if
Belldandy even loved him, much less if she wanted to marry him.
And then Skuld ended up spilling the beans.

He looked up to find Megumi staring at him, waiting for the 
forthcoming explanation.  Kenji was still looking towards Skuld's 
room, slightly in shock.  Keiichi had to jab him in the shoulder
to get his attention.

"I...I guess you all heard what Skuld said.  Well, um...it's true.
Urd, Belldandy, and Skuld are from heaven.  They live here with me
because of a contract.  It's a really long story."

Megumi wasn't about to buy that.  "That's fine, Keiichi.  We've got 
all night.  Tell us all about it."

Keiichi felt even worse.  After all, next to Belldandy, Megumi was
the person that he felt closest to.  She was his sister, and she 
could be annoying at times, but she was always ready to stand behind
him.  When Keiichi's parents had found out that Belldandy and
the others were living with him, it was Megumi who was able to
convince them that not only was it purely platonic, but Keiichi was
perfectly capable of living his own life.  He owed her for that, at 
least.

He started to tell the story of how he met Belldandy.  Kenji started
to drift off, but when Keiichi mentioned Skuld coming, he focused on
the story again.

Finally, Keiichi finished his explanation.  He looked to the two of
them for any reaction.  As he did, a grin slowly spread itself across
Megumi's features.

"Say, Keiichi, I once had a dream that I was turned into a car..."

"Yeah, I know.  That actually happened.  Sorry if you feel we invaded
you privacy..."

Megumi shrugged.  "Hey, don't worry about it.  It explains a lot of
weird things, actually; I feel pretty relieved.  And don't worry; I'm
not going to tell anyone about this."

"No, I won't, either."  These were the first words Kenji had spoken 
since Skuld's outburst.  He normally looked pensive, but seemed even
more so now, with his face and thoughts totally retreating inward.  
"I...If you'll excuse me, cousin, I need to think about what happened
tonight.  I'm going to go home now."

"Kenji, I know that Skuld feels a great deal for you - "

"Thank you, cousin, but I need to think this out myself.  I thought
I knew how Skuld felt myself...but I'm not so sure now.  Good luck
with Belldandy, I hope she says yes."

And with that he left, walking slowly out the door.

Keiichi watched him go.  To be honest, even while he was sympathizing
with Kenji, his mind had never left Belldandy.  He felt his heart
wrench as she went to Skuld, not knowing if he could stand to wait
any longer.  He turned back to Megumi, and saw that she was reading
his thoughts.

"Don't worry, brother.  Even if I didn't know that Belldandy was a 
goddess, the one thing that was always clear was that you two loved 
each other.  She'll say yes."

"It's not as simple as that, Megumi.  I'm asking a *goddess* to marry
me, for heaven's sake!  There are consequences that you wouldn't
believe.  I'm not really sure if it's even her decision."  Keiichi
sighed again.  "But I had to ask her, anyway.  Just to let her know,
if for nothing else."

Megumi said nothing, the two of them just sat, looking at the door
to the bedrooms.

***

Belldandy went towards Skuld's room with her mind in an absolute
mess.  She had no idea how she was going to comfort Skuld in a state
like this.  She could barely put one foot in front of the other.

When she opened the door, she saw Skuld lying on her futon, face up,
staring at the ceiling.  Though the sobs had stopped, tears were
streaming down her cheeks.

"Are you alright, Skuld?"  As an opening, it lacked a certain flair, 
but Belldandy did not feel at her best at the moment.

"Oh, sister, I'm so sorry.  I've ruined everything.  I told them we
were goddesses.  I'm sorry..."  Skuld could barely speak without 
dissolving into crying.

"Don't feel that way, Skuld.  After all, there have been so many close
calls that they were bound to find out sooner or later.  We would have
had to tell them before...before the wedding, if nothing else."  
Belldandy also had trouble speaking, but it came from a different 
reason.  Her mind was divided, wanting to be here to comfort Skuld,
but at the same time desperately wanting to be with Keiichi, and give
him his answer.

"But, big sister, you can't!  I mean, what would everyone think?"

"The same thing they've always thought.  This isn't the first time
this has happened, Skuld."  Urd was speaking from the door, looking 
for all the world as if she'd rather be somewhere else.

"But..." Skuld stopped, looking back and forth between them 
desperately.

"I don't think that Belldandy is the reason you're in here, Skuld."
Urd wasn't about to let up now that she had started.  "What you're
worried about is that Kenji will feel betrayed for not being told
that you're a goddess."

"Shut up, Urd!  You think I don't know that!  You think I don't
know that...Kenji hates me now..."  Once again, Skuld dissolved
into sobs.  As Belldandy reached out to her, Skuld threw herself
onto Belldandy's shoulder.  They held that tableau for a few 
minutes, while Skuld calmed down.  Finally, Belldandy spoke to her
again.

"Skuld, Kenji doesn't hate you.  He's just going to have to deal
with a new facet to your relationship.  Perhaps Keiichi and I
were helped by the fact that I appeared to him immediately, so 
there could be no secrets between us."

Urd stepped up to Skuld, taking her face gently in her hands.  
"And I'll tell you another thing, and this is speaking as the
goddess of love, so I should know.  Every action of Kenji's, every
word he didn't say, tells me that he loves you.  Don't let go
of that, Skuld.  Not even because he's a mortal.  So's Keiichi,
and he and Belldandy have a great relationship.  Love is so
rare as to be extremely precious, Skuld.  Don't let it go just
so you can get on your high horse about being a goddess.  After
all, we're certainly not perfect."

And with that, Urd walked out of the room.  As she left, Belldandy
could see a great pain cross her eyes, but then it was gone.

Skuld was looking at her again.  "Big sister, do you love Keiichi?
Are you going to marry him?"

Belldandy thought for a moment before speaking.  "I suppose I've
known for a long time that Keiichi was the one for me.  When we 
met as children, there was a bond between us even then.  And 
that is the bond that has kept us together through the past three
years, Skuld.  Not the contract, or any Ultimate Force.  It was
our love for each other.  I was always afraid to voice it, afraid
that Keiichi didn't feel the same way.  When he told me he loved
me tonight, it was as if my soul opened up to twice his size.
Yes, I'm going to marry Keiichi, but that's not the real point
of tonight.  We admitted to each other our love, and that will
be what keeps us together."

"But sister, you haven't said anything to Keiichi yet."

Belldandy paled.  She had kept Keiichi-san waiting.  Was he 
doubting her, having second thoughts?  "Skuld, do you mind if I - "

"Go on, Belldandy."  Skuld smiled wanly.  "I may have screwed
things up tonight, but...I don't want to ruin it for you as
well.  And...tell Kenji I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Thank you, Skuld.  Think upon what Urd said.  She knows a lot
more than you think."  And with that, Belldandy left the room 
and returned to the kitchen.

***

As she entered, she noticed Kenji's absence.  "Has Kenji - "

Megumi answered.  "He's gone back to his place.  I think he has
a lot of things to work out.  Don't worry, Belldandy, I don't 
think he'll give up as easy as that."

Megumi looked around.  "I should probably get going, too.  I'd
say congratulations, but that's a bit premature.  So...good 
luck.  To both of you."  And with a wink, Megumi exited.

Belldandy looked at Keiichi.  He looked more handsome than
ever, standing there pensively.  She couldn't let him suffer
like this.  She owed him an answer.

"Keiichi, I have loved you even before I met you.  It was my
specific intervention that let Kami-sama send me to you.  And
I've tried to show you that love for the past three years.  I
suppose I knew that you loved me, but...being a goddess doesn't
make this any easier you know.  I just - "

"Belldandy, you're babbling.  Do you not want to get married?
Is that it?"  The expression on his face was heartbreaking.

"No, Keiichi.  I just wanted to let you know that my love for
you has always been here.  And nothing can change that.  And
that's one of the reasons...that I will marry you.  Yes."

Keiichi looked as if he was about to burst.  All the trials
of the past three years were worth it, just for this moment.
With a smile, she came close to Keiichi, and gave him a 
passionate kiss.  She felt Keiichi's passions just as firmly,
as the kiss deepened.  And the two of them stood there, for
a long time, just kissing, and finally expressing their love 
for each other.


End of Part 1


Well, here's the first of what will hopefully be three fanfics
that will tell of the marriage of Keiichi and Belldandy.  As
per usual, this is a lot more serious than the show.  In addition,
there's about two pages of inner monologue for every line of 
dialogue.  Sorry, just the way I write.

Needless to say, there are a few influences on this work.  
The fanfics No Mere Mortal, Scenes from a Life, and Growing Pains
were what made me want to write this; kudos to their authors.
In addition, John Biles, Mark Latus, Caroline Seawright, and
Richard Lawson have inspired my writing in general.  If you
haven't read Richard's Inward Love series...what are you doing
reading this!  Get going!

For those of you who thought that Urd got short shrift in this,
she's got a much larger role in Wedding, the second of these fics.

I dunno when Wedding will be out.  Could be a week, could be a
month.  I'm a changeable guy.

For those who care, Belldandy's alarm was playing "You're in a
Bad Way", by Saint Etienne, and Skuld's was playing "Trouble",
by Shampoo.

Thanks for listening.  

--Sean Gaffney
--"You git!  I thought you were dead!  Git git git!" - Benny, No Future