"Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?" Contributors: Brooke, Koshova, SarahCascade, M-Nute, Raksha, Lyssie, Sabre, Laersyn, and Twiller Edited by Mockery ************************************* Alistair: "The chicken crossed the road? What type of equipment did it use? Where's my computer?" "It's not a chicken... it's a Black Air spy! We're all gonna die!" Apocalypse: "The chicken survived crossing the road? It is one of the strong." Bishop: "The chicken crossed Greymalkin Lane. I perceived it as a threat to security, so I eliminated it." Blackbolt: "..." Blaquesmith: "It is ever the way of chickens to criss the roads, Askani'son. What is, is." "I hope it has decided on a chronicler to record its mission for the future." "You must cross the road with the chicken, young Dayspring. It is your mission." Brian Braddock: "I wish I could drink now." Caliban: "Chicken-friend saw Patcheye and Cable-Nathan chasing it with big guns." Cable: "Damn militant Askanis." "In the future, there are no chickens. I'm here to prevent that future from happening... " "The chicken crossed the road? Stab its eyes! I must not let it distract me from my mission!" Luke Cage: Sweet Christmas! That's one big-ass chicken! Sean Cassidy: "I'll have some old Interpol connections check it out, but sources point to Cable." "Are ye daft, woman? Lettin' a wee chicken out int' th' street? It's but a chick, ye know!" Terry Cassidy: "Och! The puir wee thing! All the way across that road!" Colossus: "That chicken has stolen the heart of my Katya! " Grayon Creed: "My FATHER was a chicken? JOIN ME, to destroy the evil that is POULTRY!" Roberto DaCosta: "The chicken made it across MY road? Droga!" "Chick? A chick crossed the road? Was she cute?" *flares the bird* "Chicken barbecue!" Lorna Dane: "Oh, shut up, Alex. Wait, does chicken make me look fat after eating it?" Dana Danton: "That isn't the problem. My problem is that I've formed an emphathetic bond with the chicken and can't seperate myself from it." "Oh my God! It crossed the road? Is it hurt? Do I need to heal it!? SAM!!! Why did you let it cross the road!?" Emily Danton: "In my culture, the chicken would be married to Dresden, since Dresden is currently chewing on it." Deadpool: "Why did the (%^&ing chicken cross the road? Do I look like I give a $*%@??? " "Hmm...haven't seen a rabbit lately. Think Terry'd like a lucky CHICKEN'S foot?" Domino: "It was a flonqing chicken. Who really CARES?... Oh, and I'll take a drumstick." "Musta seen Guthrie and realized the Fowl-Exchange program wasn't gonna save its little neck after all." "Nate, the chicken's crossing the road. Nate! Are you listening to me?" "The chicken just happened to go my way." Emplate: "Welcome to the other side, chicken. Now DIE! Let me rephrase that. First, provide me with the genetic marrow I need to survive, _then_ die!" Angelo Espinosa: "In the barrio, we didn't HAVE chickems. You ever see a chicken cross a road in crossfire?" Exodus: "To seek the sanctuary of our Savior Magneto." Forge: "In the future, chickens will not have to cross the road. I'll build them a chicken transport to make crossing the road unnecessary..." Emma Frost: "I have no idea. I'm just glad I didn't invest in eggs." "Why?" *deep breath* "To get to" *arch back* "the other" *breathy voice* "siiiiiiide....." Jean Grey: "Did it die?...Did it come back to life?...Oh, Scott! Its the third Summers brother!!" Grizzly: ".....Yup...." Paige Guthrie: "WAIT! Let me find my animal husbandry book. If I can understand the chicken's body structure, then it will make me a better leader." "The chicken crossed the road and made it to the big leagues. Just like my brother. I want to cross the road someday too... " "WAIT A MINUTE! GIVE ME SECOND... I know I have a book on chicken behavior here somewhere...my room's just messy cause I study so much." Sam Guthrie: "Well, being from Kentucky, I'll have to go with KFC on a matter of state pride." "Ah kinda smashed into that there chicken but Ah'm okay 'cause Ah'm invulnerable when Ah'm blasting." "Th' chicken done crossed th' road? Ah'll never make it as an X-Man!!!" Hammer: "I REFUSE to be half-chicken and half-man, like Cable." Hulk: "HULK SMASH PUNY CHICKEN!!" Stevie Hunter: "I don't know, but it wasn't very graceful, so I'm bringing it back over to this side and making it cross again..." Iceman: "I froze its tail. If EMMA was doing it, she could have frozen the whole thing. I'm a goof-off." "it wasn't a real chicken... I just made an ice chicken and pushed it across the road as a practical joke. Pretty funny, huh? :)" Joseph: "What's a chicken?" Jubliee: "I don't know nothing about eggs and bubble gum in Emma's closet." "Like, when I was with the X-Men, like, a chicken crossed the road..." Remy LeBeau: *hiding hands behind back* "Chicken? Remy didn't see no chicken, chere!" "De chicken? It good in gumbo, dat's all Remy knows..." "I cannot tell a lie, chere. Gambit last saw de chicken wit' Sinister." "Rogue killed the chicken as it was crossing the road!! Someone teach her how to drive right!!!" Leech: "Leech no want the birdie to go away ...leech needs a pet, leech does" "Leech and Artie had chicken last week. Leech likes chicken." Logan: "Because he was the best he was at what he did." "Who ordered the chicken nuggets, bub?" "It probably stole the stick that Cyke had up his butt and didn't want to cross Xavier." Moira MacTaggart: "Och, the chicken crossed the road because..." Pete: "It crossed the road to get away from her BLOODY COFFEE!! What else could it be?" Maggott: "Chicken, ag? Hey, girls! Kos!" Marrow: "Who CARES about the chicken? It was one of the pretty ones. I'm more worried about the turkey." Hank McCoy: "The flightless avian? I have no idea why it would attempt to cross a major traffic stream. Have you tried the internet?" "The bipedal avian appears to have successfuly circumnavigated the local path of motor vehicles. Oh my stars and garters..." Meggan: "Brian! Look at the widdle chickens! Hewwo cute widdle chickens! Yes you are cute widdle chicken! Yes you are!" "I don't know why it crossed the road, but it's already got more personality than I do..." Mystique: "I once had sex with a chicken. But I lost the chicks in birth...maybe they're with another X-team." Nightcrawler: "To get to the... why yes, fraulein. My tail is prehensile. Why do you ask?" Onslaught: "-BEHOLD MY MIGHTY CHICKEN!!!-" Ozymandias: "Apocalypse's chicken will be crossing your road... it already crossed mine..." Phoenix: "I AM CHICKEN AND POULTRY INCARNATE!!" Prof X: "It would be immoral for me to probe the chicken's thoughts to understand its logic for crossing the road... not that that'll stop me..." "It was the chicken's Dream to cross the road. We must respect that." James Proudstar: "According to Apache legend...My people are dead. My brother died with the X-Men and my people were slaughtered by the hellfire club and-- HOLD ME, TERRY!!" Kitty Pryde: "The chicken crossed the road because it couldn't bear to listen to me insult PETE!" Psylocke: "The hen was simply tired of living in a male dominated world. Is my sequined thong back from the cleaners yet?" "With the focused totality of its clucking abilities, the chicken crossed the astral plane..." "Nothing can escape my psychic chicken, the focused totality of my telepathic powers..." Cecelia Reyes: "I don't WANT to be a chicken, I don't WANT to cross the road! I just want to be a doctor!" Rictor: "Let's see that bird cross the road during a 5.4 earthquake!!" Rogue: "Shut up, Sam. We make REAL fried chicken where I come from ;p" "Ah envy that chicken. It can touch, an' love, an' feel another chicken..... road, what road, sugah?" Sabretooth: "What chicken? Oh, you mean my dinner?" Shatterstar "Za's vid! In the gladiatorial arenas, that chicken would be a hero!" "In MY world, a true warrior would not concern himself with such trivial matters. BUt if more then 5 channels cover it simaltenously, it must be significant." "The chicken was fleeing from battle. It was not a true warrior." Rahne Sinclair: "Reverend Craig told me that any animal able to cross a road more then 4 lanes wide was a tool of the devil." Sinister: "The poultry is now on the other side of the road? At last, my plans are falling into place! ;)" "That chicken is the third Summers brother. I must have it's DNA..." "Ah, tender fowl... today you cross the road, tomorrow you become the lunch of... SINISTER...." Spidey: "The chicken crossed the road? I hope it remembers that with great power comes great responsiblity. It must watch over all future chickens unpaid." Jono Starsmore: "Ruddy chicken didn't cross the street. It crossed a bloody bog." ~Chicken? Wot chicken? At least th' little plonker's got a bleedin' beak...~ Monet St. Croix: "........" "I presume this is supposed to be funny?" "It crossed the road because it was able to perfectly time its journey with the flow of traffic in both lanes as well as the radar of any nearby po-- Where is my coloring book? LEE, give it BACK you walking monument to appalling taste!" Storm: "As a strict observer of a meatless, organic diet, I have no interest in a chickens movements. ROGUE, when will it be finished?" Stryfe: "It is but a pale clone of the original!" Alex Summers: "If I was as good as Scott, I could cross that road too!" Scott Summers: "I don't KNOW, and stop wasting training time with riddles." "To get to the other.. JEEEEEEEEEAAAANNNN!!!!! " "Oh now... it pecked Jean's eyes out! JEEEEEEAN!" " Tabitha: (As Boom-Boom) "See, there was this chicken, see and this chicken it, well, it died. But, I made it blow up real neat!" "It wasn't my fault, and I want my discman back." Warlock: "Selfriend designate: chicken has successfully navigated transport mode: road. Self is overjoyed!" Pete Wisdom: "The flying rat gave him my fags and sent him on a suicide mission. And it CAN talk." Warren Worthington III: "A chicken... a chicken with its own feathered wings, magnificent wings. A free chicken.." "WHO CARES? It has its ORIGINAL WINGS. Let me AT IT!"