My first comment about MiniCon 3 is: Why the hell are we calling it a MiniCon? It wasn't mini. In no way could it be considered mini. It took up the entire weekend and I stayed six hours longer than I did at any other Con we've had.

The MiniSubCon that Grew... The Amazing Colossal MiniSubCon (in reference to the MST conversation we had in the DandeCar on the way back from Magic Mountain, probably the same conversation that lured me off of the 5 and onto the 91... but we found our way back... for I am the Map.)

The previous sentence had exactly 4 in-jokes.

What can I say about SubCon 3? Let's see. I got to Kielle's at a quarter to four. By a quarter to four I was on my third bottle of Cider. At a quarter to four we made the Midnight Twinkie Run. At a quarter to four we pelted each other with toilet paper.

Perhaps I should explain...

What is With this Quarter to Four thing?

Okay, so, Kielle has this clock in the kitchen right? Well, technically it's in that Limbo space betwixt kitchen and eating nook but the point is that it's the only clock you can see in the front room. Its batteries had died, see, and it was permanently stuck on a quarter to four. So, of course, I mentioned it to Kielle. She said she had to replace the batteries but just hadn't bothered with it yet. And we both commented on the fact that it was right twice a day so everything was cool.

And then a little later someone asked what time it was and I said: Quarter to four.

And then someone asked when we were leaving for Magic Mountain in the morning and I said: Quarter to four.

And Kielle said: All right, all right! I'll get the batteries.

She began rummaging about in the closet for them and I begged her not to. "No, don't! I've got all weekend to make quarter to four jokes!"

And that was how it all began...

The Route 5 Vignette

I decided to take Route 5 home (5 N to the 126 W to the 101 N) to see if it was any faster than taking the 5 to the 101. For some reason I just didn't relish driving through downtown LA and Hollywood on Sunday night. The vibe just wasn't there for me.

It wasn't THAT much faster but it was a nicer drive, I thought. And anyway, I was able to pass the Jack in the Box where I pulled over to indulge my hangover the day before. And I had to pat myself on the back for being so discreet about it that no one knew I had gone to throw up until I said so.

And I'm still a little annoyed by the look that lady gave me in the bathroom. I was rinsing my mouth out after having done the deed -- and I must say I was very well behaved about it. No loud groans or unpleasant yurking sounds... just quietly going about my hangover business so I can feel better and get back on the road. And this lady comes out of the other stall and gives me this LOOK. I mean, it's not like I threw up on HER.

Bitch.

But, you know, I felt better after that. And was even able to take part in the conversations from then on rather than sitting like a big lump in the driver's seat. That was a good thing.

Ah, reliving SubCon 3 on the drive home.

A Big Ole Thank You to Voltage

Why oh why had no one thought of actually transcribing memorable quotes of Subrealicon before? WHY?

Well, Volt put an end to attempting to rely on our scattered-frazzled-almost-ruined-by-the-end-of-the-weekend memories this time. And it was so very fitting that all would transcribed in the Batman and Robin notebook (and Robin pen) purchased in Gotham. Yes, IN Gotham. How many people can say THAT?

Weaponmeister JB

Beware the sunny smile, that girl carries weapons.

Bladed weapons.

Bladed weapons that get her removed from amusement parks.

Of course, the knife would have come in handy while we were waiting in line for Roaring Rapids. It would have been much nicer to whittle a piece of lumber off to chew rather than gnawing away at the meaty pieces with just our teeth.

Yes, Ash, the meaty posts. ::prod prod::

Assimilation Verified

Given the fact that KayJay was heard several times using the word 'like' in a gratuitous manner, and given the fact that she was even quoted as such, I officially declare her assimilated into the SoCal Collective.

It was only a matter of time, really. Since she was born in Torrance it's ingrained in her blood. Much like the X-factor taking effect at puberty, the SoCal gene goes into effect when exposed to the smog of LA.

"Ah, beef stroganoff... all of my plans are coming together."

The Term is 'Making Merry in the Grass'

I did get the opportunity to rant at KayJay for that whole "I'm writing Logan and liking it" thing that I'm currently seeing a therapist about. And I also got to whap Trish for singing Garth Brooks at me.

And I think we all know a little too much about each other's sex lives now. Particularly mine.

Batman and Robin Action Theater: Yes, there WAS some action going on!

This was so appropriate for our group it was almost creepy. I mean was our angle just too perfect.

Okay the show was fun. Cheesy and kooky and a bit on the hot side with the gouts of flame but fun nonetheless. But the show was just made - made, I tell you - when Batman and Robin laid a full-lip wet one on each other.

Maybe it wasn't in the script but we certainly weren't going to complain. This was in the midst of the jealous over Poison Ivy fight and passions were running high after all. It just made perfect sense that Robin would kiss Batman instead. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?!

We thought it did.

And we really dug the whole Robin-on-the-bike action sequence. There we were six ladies whooping and hollering and cat-calling (bird-calling?) as he roared around on the bike with Mr. Freeze-peons in tow.

I'm quite certain Voltage was worried we'd rush the stage. I'm also quite certain he was going to remain behind where it was safe.

Refreshments in Gotham City

At least now it makes sense why it took so long for everyone else to get through the line.

Ashlan and Resemblances

Of course, anyone who's read The Dark Knight Returns knows exactly what we're talking about when we mention Carrie Kelly and the fact that Ashlan looks just like her. Carrie Kelly being the female Robin in said Dark Knight story.

At least Ash won't have any more problems coming up with Halloween costumes. And I, for one, want to see the picture of her in the yellow shades that we took in Gotham.

I just love saying that. "We were in Gotham." "We bought that in Gotham." "So we were on our way to Gotham and..."

Beware of Locked Doors at a Quarter to Four

It was a fruitless search for a playground that resulted in our returning back to the apartment at a quarter to four. We (JB, Volt, KJ, Ash and myself) decided to turn in after discussing orgies in Alabama, skulkers in the street, alibis, enhanced senses, porn and wet, sappy, mean trees.

So we get back to Kielle's door only to find it locked.

Huh?

Did we want to know? Really? Truly? Of course we did, thus began the game of Truth or Truth. We didn't think anyone would have the energy to go through with a dare at a quarter to four in the morning. For God's sake it was getting light out!

Not that I would know that. I had my leopard print sleep-mask on. (Jester hat with bells sold separately.)

And I think we know just a little too much about each other now, too. Blackmail fodder galore... but no one is going down alone!

Scarlett: Prehensile Toes and All

After being disappointed hours before searching for a playground we made a point of looking for one in the daylight. Lucky for us, Ashlan's apartment complex had one. So the Subrealiconvoy headed that way instead of going to the beach.

Much fun to be had. Adults should be required to play on playgrounds once a week. We hung upside down and went down slides and swung on swings. JB beat me in a race on springy animals. We piled into a monkey bar car and sang the theme song to Beverly Hillbillies.

KayJay, Ashlan and JB set to climbing trees. This is nothing new for KayJay apparently, who went out the previous morning in search of such trees and ended up bloodying herself, but Ash and JB followed anyway. Ashlan, despite claiming to be afraid of heights, perched way up high next to KayJay and showed no visible fear. JB inched slowly up after them.

All were put to shame by little Scarlett a mutant child in red Hawaiian print dress. Not only could she skitter up the hard side of the tree but she could make her way down by a branch that resembled little more than a vine using her hands and her toes rather much like a monkey.

So, we figured she must be Beast's child. Except that her name was Scarlett. Shouldn't she have been named something like Azure, instead?

Members of the Mile High Club

It has become tradition that every Subrealicon have a trip to Mile High Comics. And this time was no exception. I can blame this trip for my current fascination with Young Justice. I came home with A League of Their Own, and went and bought the last five months of issues as soon as I was able.

If KJ becomes responsible for turning me onto DC as well as to the Joy of Writing Logan I'm going to thwap her again, that's all I'm saying.

The Algonquin Round Table's Got Nothing On Us

We wrapped up our miniSubCon3 weekend with a chillingly professional discussion at the local Denny's.

It is fact! We are not just about drinking, brandy-laden Twinkies, water-rides and Superman's underwear. No! We are a group who Gets Things Done.

We had a scintillating discussion about a project that will hopefully get Marvel to pay some attention to their love-starved homosexual characters ("Hi, I'm Northstar and I haven't gotten any in so long I've forgotten what it's called.")

Lunacy and maturity... amazing, aren't we?

And in Conclusion...

It was riotous fun all around. Lots of laughing, staying up late, and playground mayhem. Experiments on Twinkies that would make Sinister giggle with delight and appall Hank to no end. We looked at sketchbooks, read some stories, and watched some movies.

Mostly we had a great time.

MiniSubrealiCon 3 -- a success!