[Original poem by Clement Moore (sp?)]


Here's my xmas gift to you all!  Enjoy!


Twas the night before Christmas,
And all thru the Keep
Not a mucker was stirring,
Not even Rod's sheep;

The stockings were hung
On Jasra with glee,
In order to embarass
Her majesty;

The laggers were nestled
All snug in their spam,
While visions of swift T1s
Danced in their ram.

And Sana with her rapping,
And Lara with her porn,
Had just started Blaming
Mike Loader that morn.

When out on the Muck
There arose a mighty shout,
Nerdboy stopped idling
To see what Lurker spout.

Away from the pages,
The Muckers did flee.
For Foxtrot had arrived
Saying, "Worship Me!"

The size of the file
In everyone's mail
Showed the fruit of Biles's latest
Open-ended tale.

When,
What on their wondering screens should fax,
But a fiendish mail bomb
And eight devilish hacks.

With a massive old writer,
So awful and replete
We knew in a moment:
Mighty Mighty Boss Pete

More bandwidth than UF
His recruits did write
And he flamed us aplenty,
Flamed us all night

"Now Jack Ji, now Oscar!
Now Catbert! now Bo-gue!
On Eaton,! Doc Thinker!
On Trakal, MetroAnime!

To the top of the RAAC!
For the fans we enthrall!
Now vote away! vote away!
Awards for us all!"

As evil spam that before
The great Tybalt doth ban,
The fanfiction did slither in
Wanting a scan.

So to the Mighty Keep,
The Hacks they did spew,
Shouting loudly to us
"C&C! Reviews, too!"

And then, in milisecs,
They heard in their mail
The spelling and grammar
Of each rotten tale.

As we drew in our heads,
to God we kept pleading,
Every day did the Bet
Engulf our reading.

The Operative showed that
Character was not wanted
Just one crazy fan
And scripts large fonted.

A bundle of stories
They had flung in our email
And they watched hungrily,
For our great spirits to fail.

But then there arose,
From the charnel and thunders,
One to save the Keep
From all their errors and blunders.

For then came Zen,
In a Mughi-like guise,
And with a small wink,
He gave the hacks a surprise.

"Ignore them!  Don't read it!
Watch anime, write tall tales!
But if one of you harms Ucchan
I'm getting out the nails."

We sprang to our keyboards,
And the Delete key we did press.
The howls of Boss Pete
Was a joy, I confess.

But we heard him exclaim,
ere we erased all we could see,
"Curses, foiled again!
But there's always NXE!"

Happy Holidays!
Jeff AKA Autolyca