The Chaos Theory
and
How it Applies to JB and Ashlan
I have a theory.
Subrealicon 2000 (Y2.-=K=-., as the witty David Amaya’s dubbed it) had its share of mishaps. Chiefly, they involved people Being Lost. Of course, this is part and parcel of any large gathering, especially when people are travelling in unfamiliar territory.
But this wasn’t the normal sort of Lost. Oh no.
No, this was an unnatural category of Lost. Unnatural how, you ask? Ahh, quite simple. You see, it’s all tied up in two of the ladies attending SubCon: Ashlan and J.B. McDonald.
With normal varieties of Lost, people are misplaced; they wander into new places and new situations, ore into the backround of old ones. Why, even here in Subreality we’ve heard of folk like Button Bright, the poor lad from L. Frank Baum’s Oz books, who was forever wandering off and getting lost, and like a charm turning up in the strangest places.
This brings me to my point. Every time J.B. or Ashlan would go anywhere, chaos ensued. There’s really no other word for it; it was chaos and nothing but. If either of them went somewhere alone -- as when J.B. came to pick Lise, Chandri, and myself up at the bus station -- they would almost certainly become Lost. If they went somewhere together, they would not only become lost, but other people who set out in pursuit of them would be Lost.
In fact, at one point each of them set out for a separate destination, in different directions, mind -- and they returned together!
Now, some people might write this off as simple coincidence. But not me. Oh no, no, I know Oddity when I see it. No, there is decidedly More To It than that.
My theory is this: seperately, J.B. and Ashlan are simple chaos generators. Things go wrong around them, random factors bend and conform so that it’s easier for them to get lost, but strictly speaking, no more than that.
But when together . . . ah, when together, there trouble begins. Because when you put together two young women who are basically chaos-engines, the energy they’re emitting interacts. It builds.
It grows.
In short, ladies and gentlemen, I submit that J.B. and Ashlan, when together, constitute a total breakdown of the space-time continuum!
Yes, that is my theory. But I can do more than just spout it at you -- I can prove it!
Point the first: J.B. came to pick Lise, Chandri, and myself up at the bus station, as mentioned above. What was not mentioned was that she was three hours and fourteen minutes late. Her reason? She, a native of the Southern California area, had become lost. Lost!
Now, it could be that the story she told me was true, and that there was a miscommunication as to directions. Perhaps. Possibly. But I find if far more likely that her chaos-generator abilities warped the space around her, moving her from place to place in an incoherant fashion, thereby impeding her progress for the fatal three hours and fourteen minutes.
Point the second: The second day of SubCon, Dandelion and I were returning to Kielle’s apartment after attending the Renaissnce Faire with the rest of the group. We told Laersyn multiple times that we would need to follow him, since neither of us were natives of the area. And yet when we came to a red light, he turned in the split-second before the light changed, and we remained behind. We would have been stranded if not for quick thinking (and map-reading) on both our parts.
Now, I suppose that it’s possible that Laersyn, tired from his wanderings at the Faire, simply didn’t hear Dande when she spoke to him. I suppose it’s possible that it was just a coincidence that he headed away and we remained. I suppose it’s possible, and I would readily believe that save for one simple fact:
Ashlan was in the car with him!
God Himself only knows what would have happened if she’d actually been driving the car. I might be writing this from Mexico, or even Peru.
No, these were no simple coincidences. The Warp Twins, as Laersyn dubbed our terrible twosome, were at fault for all these little misshaps and sojurns into the land of Lost, though there was certainly no malice on their part. They were simply tools of their own chaos energy.
I submit to you, ladies and gentlemen, that my theory is provable and true! Make your way to Southern California! Seek out the ones called J.B. Warpfactor and Ashlan Timerender! Find them -- if you can -- and, if you dare, walk a few paces with them. I can gurantee you one thing -- you will not be in the place you were, and I give you a warning: if you travel too long in their company, beware! You too could become a chaos generator . . . and then God help Subreality. We might all become lost!
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