Disclaimer: Any and all named copyrighted characters are being used without
permission from the original copyright holders. Any and all named writers
have been contacted about their inclusion in this glossary, and the terms
associated with these writers are not the opinion of the compiler. Some of the submissions
have been formatted for editing purposes. Ms. Sebastian reserves the right
not to include some submissions sent to her if they do not meet the criterion
for fan fiction. All rights to the reproduction of this glossary are reserved to Ms. Sebastian. Copyright 2000.
Want to contribute? Read the submissions page!
Beau de toi'(BO-day-twah):
All female characters upon
doning spandex attire must exhibit a pair of either
large or curvy bodacious ta ta's.
Corollary #1: If the women are in a group, one of them must have
low-cut spandex or reveal a lot of skin for no apparent reason. Example:
Psylocke.
Submitted by: Shadow Dancer devilishone69@yahoo.com
Corollary by: Quamp quamp8@hotmail.com
The British Bastard Principle:
Any new character who is related to Pete Wisdom is invariably also
related to or been rescued (on at least one occasion) by John
Constantine.
Corollary #1: John Constantine, of course, knows everything and everyone.
And is not impressed.
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
Cameos of Cth'thu'whatever:
At least one fic by any
BNA [Big Name Author] there will be some form of Lovecraft reference
or crossover, the latter is more common.
Submitted by: Petes-kun jdetenbeck@home.com
Character Boinkability Clause:
In every mainstream universe, there is one character who is so
beautiful/handsome/interesting that every other character wants to
boink him/her. This includes Mary Sues and self-insertion characters.
Some comic books and anime have more than one. Gambit and
Rogue of the X-Men is a good example. So is Akane of Ranma 1/2 fame.
Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion is a weird case, as she
doesn't exude sex appeal in any way shape or form.
Other Boinkable Characters: [West Wing]
Josh Lyman: Of all the men on the West Wing, Josh is the most 'boinkable'. He gets paired up with Donna Moss, his assistant, quite often. Less likely is the ones where Josh gets hooked up with Joey Lucas, or CJ the Press Secretary. And of course, he's fodder for Mary Sue too. :)
Corollary #1: Any boinkable character will have been boinked more than once
by the Mary Sue or avatar character by the end of the fanfic. Sometimes
even his/her friends get to join in as well.
Submitted by: Trisha L. Sebastian tls@thekeep.org
West Wing example by: Tori Morris skywaterlv@hotmail.com
Character Bonkability Clause:
In which [there is] one character whom the vast majority of the other characters
(if not all of them) want to hit with mallets, tables, rocks, bokken,
swords, etc.). Ataru and Ranma [are] good examples. The reason they
get bonked is not important -- viz. the difference between these two --
just that they get bonked.
Submitted by: Robert M. Schroeck rms@eclipse.net
ClintSquint:
All badass bounty hunter, mercs, assassins, etcetera must exhibit the famous "squint of death" popularized by Clint Eastwood.
Submitted by: Shadow Dancer devilishone69@yahoo.com
The Coffee Clause
A character who canonically exudes grouchiness and irritability, especially a large and
ultramasculine character (ex. Cable, Wolverine, Director Skinner) will always display an adorably cute and snuggly vice that demonstrates his human side, typically a coffee addiction that renders him helpless without his morning dose of the cup that cheers. (Cross reference: Don't Touch the Twinkies)
Submitted by: Alec Wire alecwire@yahoo.com
Davies Potential:
Possibility, expressed as a percentage, that a female
character will be revealed to be either bisexual or lesbian.
Example: Rei Hino has a
100% Davies Potential, Mara Jade has a 0%. Davies likes living.
Submitted by: Chris Davies cricharddavies@hotmail.com
The Death Angst Factor
The second most common story in the Sandman fanfiction genre (which is rather small...).
Death must always feel really bad about killing people, or killing her brother, Dream, and
spill her guts.
Submitted by: Tori Morris skywaterlv@hotmail.com
The Destiny Crock:
Any destined lovers must be on initially hostile
terms.
Submitted by: David Johnston rgorman@telusplanet.net
The Dig-Em-Up Rule:
Any character killed in canon will be resurrected in fanfic.
Examples: Illyana Rasputin, Blink.
Corollary #1: If the comic book company resurrects him or her, and the story bears any resemblance to a fanfic story, the fans of said story will automatically assume that the writer of that book reads fanfic.
Submitted by: Indigo ISNIndigo@aol.com
Corollary by: Trisha Lynn tls@thekeep.org
The Donna Moss Lovelorn Effect
Any [West Wing] story with Donna in it must ellude to her secret passion for Josh. Any story where she is the narrator must have to do with her secret passion for Josh.
Submitted by: Tori Morris" skywaterlv@hotmail.com
Don't Touch the Twinkies
In a fanfic where Hank McCoy (aka Beast) is mentioned with a Twinkie fixation, once the Twinkies are taken away, he automatically turns nasty, mean, short-sighted and/or grouchy. This can only be fixed by replacing the Twinkies, preferably with many more Twinkies. (Cross reference: The Coffee Clause)
Submitted by: Trisha Lynn cattleprodlynn@yahoo.com
The Drake Principle:
Bobby is gay. Even if he doesn't know yet. Deal. :)
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
Gotta Blaze Syndrome
A [Dark Angel] fic [phenomenon] where the author has Max say "gotta blaze" *every* *single* *time* she leaves. Not "goodbye," "see ya," or even "gotta
bounce". It's *always* "gotta blaze". A particularly severe symptom of this
is when she says it after *ahem* boinking Logan.
Submitted by Owlthepsychica@aol.com
The Ice Prince-ipal:
Anime/Manga guys who show the least interest in
romance will be the most pursued, and vice versa.
Submitted by: David Johnston rgorman@telusplanet.net
Inverse Law of Universal Peril As Calculated Through The Uncle Remus Phenomenon:
The law that states
that the danger inherent in the fic is inversly proportional to the amount of song birds singing, the basic
sunniness of a large ball of explosive hydrogen, and the azure nature of the surrounding air molecules.
Example: It was a sunny day in Nerima, the birds were singing, the sky was bluer then it had a right to
be... somewhere, a demonic entity was checking his Evil-ometer. "Yes, this will do PERFECTLY!"
Submitted by: "Keener Barnes" otakunxs@bellsouth.net
The Josh Lyman Angst Factor
"Josh angst" is the most common [West Wing] angst story. And, of course, if some other character is going to have angst, somewhere in there, it relates back to Josh.
Submitted by: Tori Morris skywaterlv@hotmail.com
Law of Author(ess) Magic
Any event deemed to be impossible or highly
improbable can occur as many times as the Author (or Authoress) wishes.
Submitted by: Dot Warner dot_warner17@hotmail.com
The Law Of Impending Maternity:
Any character (hey, in our field it might not be a woman!) who is
pregnant in the course of the story WILL bear that child before the
end of the story. This law applies to ALL fiction, with the exception of
the movie "Fargo." ;)
Exception #1: The above rule holds true unless the author intends to
work an entire series out of said pregnancy, in which case the second
story of the series will always involve food cravings. Sometimes the
first, but ALWAYS the second.
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
Loader Lesserness:
No matter how many more amazing
fics are written by Mike Loader, his stuff still won't be
as well recognized as any other mediocre fics that have
been twelve times over before.
Submitted by: Petes-kun jdetenbeck@home.com
Love And The Single GenX Mary Sue:
The female Mary Sue will always fall for Jono or, in a
pinch, Angelo. She never falls for Everett.
The male Mary Sue will always fall for Jubilee or, in a
SEVERE pinch, Monet. He never falls for Paige.
Corollary #1: Mary Sue is never gay/bi or adult, so no other on-campus
romantic pairings are possible.
Cross-Reference #1: In regards to "The Rules Of Conduct For The
GenX Mary Sue," Mary Sue will almost invariably fall for whoever is
assigned to her in the third option. If both the Mary Sue and the assigned
student are female, Mary Sue will default into "falling for Jono"
mode.
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
Love at First Sight
The first two main characters of the opposite sex
that meet each other will become a couple by the end of the series.
Submitted by: Dot Warner dot_warner17@hotmail.com
The MST3K Rule of Eras:
A MST3K will usually be set in seasons 6-10, or in a
pinch, seasons 4-5. It will never be set in the first
3 seasons.
Submitted by: Icehole icehole4@yahoo.com
Mood Eyes:
Energy wielding beings must lose their
pupils upon igniting of powers or eyes must shift
colors due to emotional state.
Submitted by: Shadow Dancer devilishone69@yahoo.com
The Mudslinger Rule:
Characters disliked by fanfic authors get their personalities written as punks, yes-men, or possessing other git-like qualities in order to
make the author's favorite character or Mary Sue look good.
Example:
- Scott written as a yes man to make Gambit look good.
- Storm written as a hateful witch to make Domino look good.
- Jean written as a shrieky harridan to make Rogue look good.
Other Examples: [DS9] Dr. Julian Bashir will be written as someone
who gets beaten up, maimed, mauled, or otherwise
mistreated to make everyone else look better.
Submitted by Indigo ISNIndigo@aol.com
DS9 Example by: Icehole temporary_blue@yahoo.ca
The Pleasure Clause:
- Sex can only be bad if it’s a comedy.
- No matter what the participant’s previous sexual experience, they are
always the best lover the other partner has ever had (even if X is a
virgin, has never been in a same sex relationship, etc.)
- If they’re really in love, foreplay is unnecessary because the partners
are always aroused in the other’s presence.
Submitted by: Northlight temporary_blue@yahoo.ca
The Romantic Permutation Observation:
If romance is an issue at all in the original work, (and where is it
not?), each and every possible pairing of all major (and most
minor) characters will eventually be explored in a fanfic.
Submitted by: Michael "Brazil" Borgwardt
borgward@informatik.tu-muenchen.de
RpM Musicisms:
First Law: In all fics and fic scenes (in the
case of Converging Series and his contirb's for Ranma 2096) that include song
references (specifically Ranma fics), [they are always] by the types of groups some like to call 'college music'
(artsy and the like).
Example: Beck [from The More Things Change].
Second Law: They will anyways only
be the ones most commonly heard and none of the
obscure ones neglected by radio stations.
Example: [He] only uses Beck's "Devil's Haircut" or "Where It's
At", but not "Lord Only Knows" or "Readymade".
Third Law: The refs will always be
done in ways that leave you sitting there thinking,
"Umm... kay... why is Ryo Mohushi singing 'Today Is
The Greatest'..? The guy prolly never listened to a
[North American] song in his life!" 'Nuff said.
Submitted by: Petes-kun jdetenbeck@home.com
The Rule Of Cajun Occularity:
Any new character who is related to Remy LeBeau by blood has red-
on-black eyes, is incredibly dextrous, wears a long coat of some kind,
smokes, or all of the above.
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
The Rules Of Conduct For The GenX Mary Sue:
Upon arrival at the Massachusetts Academy, the GenX Mary Sue must
always:
- Show or mention some sign of a dark, mysterious past
- Demonstrate resistance or outright immunity to the White Queen's
telepathy
- Be offered a guided tour of the school by one of the canon students
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
The Rules of Conduct for the Sandman Mary Sue
[Sandman Mary Sues] are different than regular Mary Sues, in they usually don't fall in love with the Sandman character. (Usually either Death or Dream, with Delirium as a close second.) Rather, usually the Mary Sue has some sort of horrid problem and one of the Endless comes and solves it.
Submitted by: Tori Morris skywaterlv@hotmail.com
The Sexual-Preference Interference-Scramble-Skew Effect [SPISSE] (pronounced "spice")
Even if there are no canon instances whatsoever indicating any latent or
nascent tendencies toward nymphomania, bisexuality, homosexuality,
polygamy, patriphilia, Stockholm Syndrome or unfaithfulness to their
established [significant other] -- certain characters are often written into such situations
in serious fics. Sillyfics are simply intended to be silly and do not fall
under this effect. This is possibly a skew of the Character Boinkability
effect.
Examples of such characters are:
- Rogue
- Bobby Drake
- Emma Frost
- Gambit
- Jubilee
Submitted by: Indigo
indigo@indigosky.net
The Staffer Syndrome:
Because everyone in "The West Wing" has gabs of free time, they spend it either trying to
hook two people up, or actively rooting and advising in the matters of love. As a bonus, at
least once, one 'staffer' character must ellude to the fact they are supposed to be running
the country--and then go help them with matters of romance.
Submitted by: Tori Morris" skywaterlv@hotmail.com
The Stupidity Field:
This is the power that keeps shoujo heros and
villains from being recognized in their other I.D.s even by their
closest friends and family despite not being disguised in any meaningful
way.
Submitted by: David Johnston rgorman@telusplanet.net
Toothe-n-Nail:
Refers to the fact that most
characters (not all) having either fangs, claws, or
both is aided by a healing factor.
Submitted by: Shadow Dancer devilishone69@yahoo.com
Vegita Was a Player:
Any new female Saiyajin character will almost
invariably have 1) known Vegita, 2) liked him either secretly or openly,
3) insulted him to no end, and/or 4) was engaged to him.
Submitted by: Dot Warner dot_warner17@hotmail.com
Waterbomb:
All computer terminals must explode upon contact with liquids.
Corollary #1: Especially if there's a fight going on.
Corollary #2: AND there's important/top secret information on it.
Corollary #3: AND there's no tech person in sight.
Bonus Points: If the person operating said computer is a tech person.
Submitted by: Shadow Dancer devilishone69@yahoo.com
Corollaries by: Trisha L. Sebastian
tls@thekeep.org
The Wolverine Clause:
If Wolverine shows up in a story, someone's in for an ass-kicking OR
Jean's going to be mooned over.
Corollary #1:
If, however, the story mainly refers to Wolverine as
"Logan," at some point the reader WILL be subjected to at least a full
page of "man vs. beast" soul-searching.
Corollary #2:
If Wolverine is given a non-canon love interest,
Sabretooth will be mentioned within three pages (for a single story)
or
show up to personally pick on said new love interest within the first
three stories (for a series).
Corollary #3:
If Wolverine is injured seriously enough to land him in
the infirmary, Jubilee will arrive within three scenes. Even if she's
dead. Hallucinations count.
Submitted by: Kielle kielle@aol.com
Worfism:
The act of using a secondary character, usually one renowned for combat skills or inherent
toughness, to demonstrate the incredible phenomic cosmic ability of the newly introduced antagonist to
the fic. Coined from a certain Klingon security officer who never seemed to catch a break. "Greetings, I am
Jean Luc Picard, Captain of the Enterprise, this is my number one, and this is my head of security...
would you care to kick his butt?"
Example: Common Worfs include: Wolverine, Ryouga, Ryouko, Piccollo, Sora, just about anyone more interesting
then the main character. :)
Submitted by: "Keener Barnes" otakunxs@bellsouth.net
Xavier's Long List of Ladies: Any older female character must have had at least one romantic liason with Professor Xavier.
Submitted by: Quamp quamp8@hotmail.com
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