!!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! !!!SPOILERS!!! -yeah right! Greetings True Believers! My therapist says that I must release my inner rage in more constructive ways. I guess my work at the retirement home will continue to go unappreciated. Just goes to show you that old people have no sense of humor... or humour if your last name is Barnett! That's ok though, 'cause I have found a new way to deal with the angst that MarVel CauseS ME WHen THEY TaKe a perfectly GooD charActeR WhO AlreADY hAS A perfectly gOOD HISTORY, AND BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO LAME TO WRITE DECENT PLOTS, THEY GO AND SCREW UP PLOTS THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY HAD SUCCESS WITH!!! Oops, I think I should just get started.... Future Marvel Plot Twists, and Retcons -researched and assembled by your humble servant, BODEN :) Onslaught is actually Thgualsno spelled backwards. This was revealed in the Amalgam Universe, which is actually Maglama spelled backwards. BUT, don't get used to it 'cause starting in January of '97 Marvel will be sold AGAIN to General Electric and Onslaught will be replaced by Light Bulb Man. Wolverine is due for more mutations before he is reverted back to "normal," -Seems Rob Liefield and Todd MacFarlne are going to be guest writers and artists for 3 books in which Wolvie will mutate into a black man with a goatee, long straight hair, and will start wearing a helmet that only covers his forehead, ears and cheekbones, he will also wear ridiculously over-sized shoulder pads and have a shrunken head, as well as a cape that is completely tattered and hangs flapping from his neck by only a few threads. Oh, Logan will start worshipping satan as well... In Cable #75 Magneto will pull all the metal out of Cable's body and he will mutate into something else. ... Wait a minute... In an upcoming Wolverine issue readers will learn that Jubilee is actually Yuriko, who was exposed to the Siege Perilous as a child and when she reached puberty was split and a clone traveled through time and ended up as Jubilee. I don't get this one... In an upcoming Excalibur book, Douglock will die. Just friggin die... dead ...that's it, dead.....Ok, ok, then Lockheed mutates into a purple Doug Ramsey and for 2 years the whole team questions if it is the _real_ Doug Ramsey. Cable will get yet another name as a result of the Askani'son books, .....George. In the same books, readers will learn that Chavare' is a direct descendent of Random and therefore a Summers, which will be revealed by the not-so-dead-yet Sabertooth in an upcoming X-Factor when he sniffs Random and smells Havok. The Blob is Guido's Dad. In X-Nation the reader will be shocked to learn that Dust, was in fact Cyclops. The obvious question will be, "But I thought Dust said he was 'unable to ever look the X-men and even Cyclops in the eye'?" ... get it? As far as the Telekinesis that Dust had where Scott did not, well, he was married to Jean Grey and you can get alot of things these days from sex... Shatterstar turns out to not be gay, he was just drunk at a cinco de mayo party with Rictor and they were... "experimenting" Finally, Wolverine will get his adamantium, and his humanity back due to an accident in BBeast's Lab. It turns out that Hellish Hank had a big vat of the stuff brewing, something to do with the Legacy Virus, and Logan trips and falls in. His skin and tissues quickly absorb the liquid metal 'cause they became addicted to it over all those years, which also explains his recent attitude. His "regression" was really just withdrawals. And, miraculously, enough of his healing factor was leaked into the vat that the legacy virus was cured. Hasa, hasa. Charles Xavier has to shave his head. Stryfe will make a comeback AGAIN in the body of Cameron Hodge. More Phalanx crap, see above. The Following persons are all related to a Summers: Frank Castle, half brother to Scott via Corsair and some floozy. Weapon X -Kane, Cable's son via a Stryfe clone of Tyler. Daredevil, Scott and Havok's older brother, has a similar eye problem just never opens his eyes. Most of the Shiar Imperial Guard, half brothers to Scott and Alex, Corsair was a tramp. Tetherblood is a half brother to Cable ...Scott and Storm, you knew it was inevitable! Rahne, Summers family pet who got out and ran away. Her trainer was Scottish. Onslaught, little brother to Scot and Alex who was so tiny growing up that he was locked in the closet with nothing but Joe Weider products to eat and now look at him! That stuff really works! I hope this has helped you all. I know it has helped me. I will post more as I hear of them. Love and Cookies! . . . . . . . :{)BODEN: Founder of the "ACTS" Faction of the LSD Cult :{)DREAD LORD BODEN -BY THE DREAM: The Chosen One, Cable :{)Nathan Christopher Dayspring Askani'son Summers. !!! Long Live A C T S !! Long Live the CULT! ;)E-Mail Me or Meet My Many Minions of Minuscule Minionites -->102721.3667@CompuServe.com ................................................................