Log Entry of the RRS Narwhale
Well, the troubles seem to be settling down now, so maybe I can write down my thoughts and try to figure out what happened. A couple weeks ago, Daddy finally decided to retire and hand the throne to his beloved Tenchi. Oh, Daddy pretended he was dying, but he pulled that trick enough other times when he just wanted enough time to seduce the next young woman. Well, at least I got the ship out of it. Damn cheap bastard.
Well, when he finally decided to be truthful with us, the lights went out and I heard my evil stepmother's voice. Well, I figured it might be her, it might not be, but I wasn't going to stick around to check. Pretty sure she'd never forgiven me for the slugs in the salad incident. So I grabbed the twins and hightailed it out of there. That's why I'm the oldest sibling, I know when to go.
Well, checked who was in the will, and realized it wasn't very clear about what would happen if Daddy actually died. And judging by the ruins around, he didn't. Several of my siblings were dead, but that's nothing knew. Tenchi was missing, and I figured the smarmy bugger was up to no good. I puttered around, but didn't find much.
Eventually I made a mistake, and trusted Harpo for 2 seconds. Molakos trumped me to his base and started to eat my mind. I kept on getting my trump cards knocked out of my hands, so I sicced the golden warrior on him. Never empty your pockets. You never know what you'll need.
Well, finally something distracted him, so I fled. I hoped the warrior would kill him, but I doubted it. Well, I had a couple of margeritas, but the Cabana boy was not a good toe-sucker. My one fault is curiousity, so I trumped back to the castle. Hell. Can't leave the littles alone for a few hours, else they trash the place. I had some of my warriors trap everyone's room, but forgot to trap my own. Probably a good thing, since they crossed me anyway.
Lyonesse found me, and cut off my arm when I lied about it. Thankfully, I'd already grabbed a trump, and got out. Sparky is a sweet boy. A couple of decades in Miki's favorite party realm, and I was back on my feet. The reports I was getting were annoying. Damn kids kept stealing my toys and breaking them. Tenchi still owes me for my fleet, the little brat. Then somebody drew a new pattern. I don't mind Amber sinking (some of us breath water), but freezing was to much. So, I jumped on the pattern and went to check out the situation.
Obviously, I was not the only one Harpo pissed off. Looked like
all my favorite brats and their friends were out to kill him. Some
ineffective fighting, and I decided that water puts out fire (and keeps
acid off...dirty trick). Well, Lyonesse started walking with the
original jewel, and I tried to give her time. Tenchi died (or faked
it, damn family traditions), and Harpo tried eating K's mind. Then
I noticed theUnicorn. It was being attacked by a red unicorn, and
losing. I figured that this would a bad thing, and called the Narwhale.
Well, Narwhales have little time to practice flying, and while he took
out the Commiecorn, he also took out the Unicorn. Oooppps.
Then the pattern started flying. Everything was happening at once.
I slipped off, and started falling. While I can swim like a fish,
I cannot fly. I was rapidly plummeting. Then I remembered that
in my travels, I'd helped a poor woman cross a desert once. Not sure
what all happened, but she'd told me to call on the Serpent when I had
trouble. Now, I'm as loyal as the next Amberite, so I always have
foisted off the help from Chaos I've been offered (those
bastards are so damn helpful!!), but this was an emeregency. I don't want much out of life, but I want to keep it. So I called for the Serpent. Thankfully, unlike the Narwhale, he has wings. Also got his eye back, so we're even. I took the demijewel of water, redrew the Rebma pattern, and built some ships to get out again. I love Rebma, but.. too much politics. Now I'm sailing around. Eventually I'll see how Lyonesse is doing with Chaos, and see if Tenchi's still around. Remind me to bring some grog, so I can get the brat and his puppeteer drunk and hungover.