The Eternal Game Cast Page

A Raging Wombat Studios Production

This page describes the major characters of this series. Warning, some spoilers lie within, as of Episode 5.

Dramatis Personae:

The Company of Four (Plus Five)

The Chosen Ones:

Terri Hatchett--Resident Game Master and more or less leader. Thanks to her incredibly extensive Advanced Tunnels and Wombats collection (over 200 supplements and modules), Terri knows a lot about anything to do with Karinth, although her collection has a few holes, such as having not bought the Shire supplement because she thought Halflings were boring. Terri is the Chosen of Athena, which basically means she can kick your butt. Likes Magneto.

Andrew Talk--Resident Handsome Guy, Singer, and Oldies fan. Andrew has been gaming with Terri since junior high and has known her since he was knee high to a grasshopper. He and Karin are dating. Andrew is a music major, and plays three instruments (guitar, piano, and flute) and sings quite well. As the Chosen of Ehlviz, he has the power to work magic through songs, although it's hard to control the effects (He has yet to risk singing 'Great Balls of Fire' ). Continues to deny the 'Princess Andromeda' incident.

Karin Thompson--Resident Beautiful Gal and Chemist-in- training. Karin has been gaming with Terri since junior high and has known her since she was smaller than her teddy bear. She and Andrew are dating and have been since high school. She can often be rather superficial, although this is to some extent a front; she has a good mind, but often devotes it to matters of little account. As the Chosen of Sandy, she is a very powerful mage, except for the fact that most of the spells in her spellbook are entirely wretched. Still can't get a decent manicure in Karinth.

Hayao Yamafuji--Resident Art/Business double major and straight man. He has been gaming with Karin, Terri, and Andrew since high school. He has a crush on Karin and has for quite a while. Has some samurai tendencies. Being the Chosen of Baltor, he has the power to always make a profit from anything he does, known as 'the golden touch'. Still enjoying playing with the Bhellom.

The Five (aka, their sidekicks and supporting cast)

Drak the Blade--Drak is but an humble entertainer who performs blade tricks, when not getting in trouble, which is his usual state. He has at least two girlfriends, possibly not entirely by his own choice, and has the (mis)fortune to bear Sevian the Sword God, who he pulled out of an anvil. Currently the lover of Angelina, more or less. Drak has no magic, but is a skilled acrobat, juggler, and swordsman. Still wondering how he gets into situations like this.

Sevian the Sword God--Sevian was once a patron Immortal of the South Kingdoms, only to end up trapped inside a sword that was sacred to him after a showdown with his ancient enemy Ahriman knocked him out for a few centuries. He is obnoxious and sarcastic, a cranky old man of a sword, but does possess a fair amount of power. Continues to deny that his proper name is 'The Sword of Whining'.

Angelina--Daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Aylynn, she skipped out when they tried to engage her to a man whose wives typically ended up dead. Instead, she married a Thieves' Guildmaster in order to annoy them. She is now his ex-wife, having betrayed the Guild to help Drak, her lover. She seems to be mostly worthless, but has a wealth of information and skills that pop up at times suspiciously convenient for the author. Currently bears the Magic Belt of Ozma. Still unaware of Drak's other girlfriend(s) far as anyone knows.

Bilko--Bilko is a Halfling Lifeguard and part-time Thief, who had robbed hundreds of dragons, and seems to have a knack for ending up inside people's bathingsuits. Once tricked Tiamat into eating one of her consorts. Hired to help the party break into Morgath's lair, he has stuck along for the ride because he LIKES getting into trouble. He is also a skillful conman and speaks many languages. Bilko has friends and enemies (mostly enemies) everywhere. His only magic is that he possesses a Tome of Naked Elven Women, but he has many non-magical talents. Probably the least sane member of the Company.

Gimli--Gimli is a dwarf from Alfheim (a very rare commodity). His family specializes in designing and building model kits to sell to the Elves for inflated prices. He also designs miniature zeppelins in his spare time. Gimli joined the Company to get even with Morgath, who refused to pay for the five hundred model kits he ordered. He has no magic, but is a genius of model kit design and a fair fighter. Beginning to feel like the lone sane man in a madhouse.

Their Sponsors:

Athena--Nicola lists her titles as beginning with "Athena, goddess second class, operating portfolio War, Wisdom, and Justice, daughter of Zeus Megacranisophia (Zeus of the Big Wise Head), queen of weavers, who transformed Arachne into a big ugly spider, patron of Athens, bearer of the sacred Aegis, frequent wearer of helmets...". She is the more or less leader of the unnamed alliance of deities that sponsor the Company of Four, if only because she's the most sane of them. Daughter of Zeus, who gave birth to her when she sprang out of his head. And you thought normal labor hurt.

Baltor--Not An Animated Dog. God of Merchants and Mercantile Dealings. He has a running feud with Sandy, and thinks money can solve any problem.

Ehlviz--King of Rock and Roll. If I have to tell you who this is a thinly disguised version of, you've been living under a rock.

Sandy--Goddess of Magic. Terri says Harry Weatherwax, the designer of Advanced Tunnels and Wombats named her after his girlfriend, but she denies any connection. She has a running feud with Baltor, and thinks magic can solve any problem.

The Bad Guys:

The Evil Dieties:

Anthraxus--Daemon Lord of Disease and Plague. Co-Creator of the Undeath Plague with Orcus. Continues to insist that calling himself a 'Daemon' is not simply snobbery.

Hamstur the Unbearable--A giant, stinky evil hamster. Possibly a Demon Lord, but they'd really rather not claim him if they don't have to. He is a complete idiot, and was recruited so that when push came to shove, they'd have someone expendible to let the heroes wipe out. Continues to take himself far more seriously than is justified.

Orcus--Demon Lord of the Undead. Co-Creator of the Undeath Plague with Anthraxus. He looks suspiciously like a winged, horned gorilla. Continues to insist calling oneself a 'Daemon' is snobbery.

Tiamat--Five headed queen of evil dragons. She has five trophy husbands, her consorts, whose main role is to get killed off instead of her. They do this quite well. Rules the uppermost of the Nine Hells. Her role in this alliance is to supply air power. Suffers from sleep disorders (Only sleeps 10% of the time, in contrast to an ordinary human, who must sleep 33% of the time. Possibly due to consumption of caffiene-laden Lemures.) Desires to destroy Bilko, because he once tricked her into eating one of her consorts. Continues to deny her appearances in the 'Dungeons and Dragons' cartoon were canonical.

Other Villains:

Ahriman the Mace God--Ancient evil diety, enemy of Sevian the Sword God. He is stuck in a mace because he and Sevian knocked each other out in a fight and their cults died out during the centuries they slept. He is like Sevian but five times more annoying and three times more evil. Has killed eight previous wielders. Can double as an umbrella.

Alric--Servant of the Dragon Gods who currently is assigned to assist Morgath and is stuck carrying Ahriman the Mace God. Theoretically evil, but actually just hapless and somewhat pathetic.

Kali--Hindu Dark Mother Goddess. You wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. Was once served by the Thuggee. Still married to Shiva. (Now THAT would make for a twisted sitcom)

Morgath--A Red Dragon who lives in the ruins of Sindabar. To quote Terri, "He's in the 'Older than Dirt' age bracket, he has an Armor Class of -8, he has 255 hit points, and his attack sequence is vorpal claw/vorpal claw/bite/tail/wing sweep/wing buffet/jimmy buffet/curb stomp." He is a noted collector and assembler of model kits, and can shapechange. Currently wants to hunt down our heroes and heroines for stealing Champion from him.

Birnam--Another Older than Dirt Dragon, who lives in Mortaur, the Forest of the Druids. He has nine dragon children, and owes Morgath a few favors. He is a Green Dragon.

Surinam--Birnam's youngest son. Already dead at the hands of Muffy the Dragon Slayer when first seen.

Thinly Disguised Heroic Guest Stars From a Completely Unrelated TV Show:

Muffy the Dragon Slayer--Into every generation is born a girl who gets her own TV series and kicks monster ass. This is that girl. Initially resistant to her cosmic task of slaying dragons, she changed her mind after collecting her first dragon hoard. Now occassionally has to be reminded to only hunt evil dragons. She is in love with Smaug, a Red Dragon turned good by a cursed artifact, but it seems that the universe will never quite let them get together or break up once and for all.

Smaug--Once an evil Red Dragon, Smaug was tricked by Bilko into putting on a Helm of Alignment Change. Transformed to a state of Lawful Goodness, he was unable to fit into either Evil or Good Dragon society. Wandering in his human form, he met Muffy and they fell in love. However, the fact that she is supposed to kill Dragons, and his tendency to be a moron have complicated matters. Morgath is his father.

"Vials"--Muffy's advisor and trainer. He is an Elven mage/priest of the cult of the Watchers, who guide and train the Dragon Slayers. Bookish and shy, he has great knowledge of dragon lore, and other sorts of monster lore as well. His true name is concealed for magical reasons (ie, so it can't be used in spells against him).

Wendy the Good Witch--Muffy's closest female friend. Unlike Muffy, she is a thinker and a planner, often to the exclusion of actual action. She is a witch-in-training, having gradually absorbed a lot of Vials' lore in the group's first years as a team. Having recently acquired a Broom of the Magi, she has become ever so slightly trigger happy.

Blander--Wendy's sometimes love interest, when he and Cordwood aren't having a passion attack. His main purpose in life is to demonstrate he isn't quite as good a fighter as Muffy and get in trouble so he has to be saved. He also does wisecracks well, and he has a knack for dating women who are actually evil monsters. This could explain his on/off again romance with Cordwood. He has a Quiver of Infinite Weaponry, which sometimes supplies rather odd weapons.

"Princess" Cordwood--A loudmouthed Elven would be Bard who can't sing, perhaps because Elves are forbidden to be Bards. She does have a lot of money and contacts, however, and she has an extensive knowledge of useless aspects of Elven culture. The group originally recruited her when they saved her from a dragon. Not from any known Elven Kingdom--she insists it's around here somewhere, really... She and Blander have an on/off again romance/shouting match.

"Schnoz"--A Werewolf Bard, who is trying to teach Cordwood to not stink at Bard skills, but hasn't had much luck yet. He and Wendy also have an on/off again romance complicated by his tendency to wolf out, and her having the bad taste to have kissed Blander once. He has a Stratocaster of Self- Accompaniment +3, which simulates an entire backup band for him and doubles as a magic weapon.


Franco Coriolois--Franco is the Thieves' Guildmaster of Rin. He was married to Angelina, but promptly divorced her when she ran off with Drak. Has not been seen on stage since episode two.

Paul Hatchett--Terri's annoying younger brother. Has yet to appear physically in Eternal Game, although he shows up in the prequel, Lords of Gaming.

Nicola, High Priestess of Athena--Drak's other girlfriend, with whom he has a very tempestous relationship due to his inability to settle down and her possessing the ability to summon Athena's shield, which can turn people to stone. She is high priestess of Athena in Rin. Has not been seen on stage since episode two.

Harry Weatherwax--Creator of Advanced Tunnels and Wombats, owner and president of DOA games, which publishes it. Unlikely to appear in the flesh in this series.

Last Modified March 6, 1999

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