Wheel of Anime:  Book 1 – The Eye of God 
Chapter Four:  The Road to Whitebridge
 
By John Biles

http://www.thekeep.org/~wombat/Jordan/


********

	Hinako paced back and forth.  "They're all lost 
because you wanted to go into this stupid city!"

	"It seemed our best hope to lose the Fanboys," Setsuna 
said.  "I regret that I was mistaken."

	"We will find them," Soun said firmly.

	"How?  We don't know where they are!" Hinako 
shouted.  She was about three inches from using her 
Delinquent Punishing Attack.

	Setsuna reached into her pack and extracted a large 
red crystal shaped roughly like a heart which was wrapped 
round with a golden circular frame.  It screwed onto the top 
of her staff.  She tucked a coin into the frame and began to 
concentrate as it glowed.  It glowed brighter in certain 
directions.  "Ryouga and Ukyou went that way," she said, 
pointing north.  "The rest went south and should soon hit 
the road and end up going to Whitebridge.  We'd best go 
after Ryouga and Ukyou, since they're headed into howling 
wilderness and the others are not."

	Hinako wanted to argue with her logic, but she 
couldn't fault it.  "Alright, we'll go that way, as you 
advised."  She took off north, as if it had been her plan all 
along.

	Setsuna smiled slightly and signaled to Soun, then 
rode after her.

********

	Ukyou yanked her braid.  "Why exactly did I let you 
lead, Ryouga?"

	"Because, for once, you're just as lost as I am," 
Ryouga said.  

	They'd been wandering through the woods for what 
seemed like days, possibly centuries.  It was a maze of 
twisty, bendy trees all alike.  "I'm pretty sure we're going 
north again, when we ought to be going southeast," Ukyou 
said.  "See, if you..."

	And then the pine trees suddenly turned into oaks and 
beeches, and the air cooled around them.  Ukyou blinked.  
"What the..."

	"Damn, this is one of the really bad ones," Ryouga 
said warily.

	"Really bad ones?" Ukyou asked.

	"Remember the time I went missing for three days and 
claimed I was in Tear?" Ryouga asked.

	"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "That was the last time the 
Wisdom spanked you."

	"Well, I WAS in Tear," Ryouga said.  "It doesn't 
happen often, but it does happen."

	"Hey, there's a path," Ukyou said, a little relieved.  
She dragged Ryouga over to it.  "Something passes this 
way frequently."

	He sniffed the air.  "Something funny smelling."

	"I don't smell anything," Ukyou said.

	He shrugged.  "Kind of reptillian smelling to me."

	They turned a bend and came up to a dead body of an 
unfortunate deer.  Some sort of predator had ripped it apart.  
Within the last hour or two.  Ryouga walked warily now, 
umbrella in hand, and so did Ukyou, carrying her giant 
spatula, both of them moving off the path and following it 
in parallel.  There had been human footprints as well, but 
they weren't sure how fresh the prints were.

	They now came into a clearing, which contained a 
one-story white house with a mailbox in the front yard.  
The front door had been boarded up.  Two reptiles the size 
of a horse were tethered to the porch roof's support poles.  
They resembled a cross between a cat and a lizard, with 
three cat-like eyes, bronze scales, and six-clawed feet.  A 
saddle sat on each of the creatures.  They both turned and 
looked idly at Ukyou and Ryouga, staring unblinkingly, 
and one of them began to keen.

	Ukyou and Ryouga ducked back into the woods as 
two women came around the building and began to peer 
into the woods.  One of them was tall, with long blue hair, 
wearing an expensive looking white uniform jacket and 
long black pants.  A sword hung at her waist.  The other 
also carried a sword, but her coat was blue and her pants 
green.  Her brown hair was done up in two strange pony-
tails which cascaded up, then down to each side, and she 
wore glasses.  She held a small metal box with a glass 
circle in the middle of one face.  Holding it up to her eye, 
she somehow made it emit a flash of light, then said to her 
companion, "I didn't see anything, Kaname-chan."  Her 
voice had a strangely slurred drawl to it.

	"Probably just a deer, Kyoko," Kaname said.  "Let's 
get back to exploring this place."  Her voice had the same 
drawl.  

	"This really doesn't look like a very impressive Age of 
Legends ruins to me," Kyoko said.  "I suppose the Council 
President had some good reason for sending us here, 
though."

	"It is probably an ambush," Kaname said.  "Or a 
deathtrap.  He's never liked me."

	"You dumped an entire punchbowl over his head 
before he became Council President," Kyoko pointed out 
helpfully.

	"I didn't say he had no reason."

	Ukyou whispered to Ryouga, "Any idea what Council 
they might be talking about?"

	"It must be the local Men's Council," Ryouga said.  
"With the 'Mayor' being called the President."

	"Ooh, good point.  Should we go ask them where we 
are?"

	"They seem okay," Ryouga said.  "Let's do it."  He got 
up and started to wander off into the woods.  Ukyou 
grabbed his collar and dragged him towards the two 
women.  

	The taller woman watched them warily, while the 
younger woman smiled cheerfully.  "Hello, I'm Kyoko, and 
this is High Duellist Kaname Athaem Kore Masaki.  Come 
to explore the ruins as well?"

	"What's a High Duellist?" Ryouga asked.  "I'm 
Ryouga Ayabara and this is Ukyou al'Vere."

	The two women stared at them in shock.  "You don't 
know what a High Duellist is?" Kaname asked in disbelief.

	"We're extremely lost," Ryouga said.  "Wait...are we 
in Tear again?"

	Ukyou glanced over at the mailbox and wondered who 
'King Dimwit Flathead' had been and why he had put his 
name on a metal box on a pole.

	"Yes, I think you are very lost," Kaname said.  "Where 
are you from?"

	"The Two Rivers," Ryouga said.

	"Which two rivers?"

	"The only one I know of with that name is our Two 
Rivers," Ryouga said.  "Oh, you mean, which two rivers."

	A vein throbbed on Kaname's forehead.  "Yes."

	"The White River and the Taren," Ryouga said. 

	"Hmm, never heard of them.  Are you sure you don't 
know what a High Duellist is?" Kaname asked.  

	"Not a clue," Ryouga said.  "Should I be bowing?"

	"Yes," Kyoko said firmly.

	Ryouga and Ukyou bowed.  "Our apologies, your 
highness.  Where are we, if I may ask?" Ukyou asked.

	"In the Flathead forest, just west of the Flathead 
River," Kaname said.  "In the province of Zork in the 
Seanchan Empire."

	"Never heard of it," Ryouga said.  "Is this up in the 
Borderlands?"

	"..."

	"Are you insane?" Kyoko asked.

	Ukyou got out her map.  "Okay, I'm not sure where we 
are now, as I don't see any 'Seanchan Empire' on here, but 
maybe you can show us?"

	Kyoko looked at the map, and her eyes widened.  "A 
map of the Dar'ela!"

	"The what?" Ukyou asked.  

	"The ancient homeland from which our ancestors 
came here, to which we will one day return, according to 
prophecy," Kaname said.  "When...two people come from 
that land, bearing news of its decline into unrighteousness."

	"Prophecy?" Ryouga asked nervously.  "I just fulfilled 
a prophecy by getting lost?"

	"Come, sit down," Kaname said.  "Tell us of 
conditions in the Dar'ela."

	Ryouga and Ukyou came over and sat down on the 
porch swing, and then the interrogation began.

*******
	
	"Are we there yet?" Kurz asked again.

	Basara frowned.  "No, although we should have 
reached the road by now."

	"I think we're going northeast instead of south to the 
road," Ranma said.

	"Well, every time we try to go south, we run into 
Fanboys again," Nanami said.  "We should hit the 
Manetherendaelle eventually; we can follow that to 
Whitebridge, I think."

	"FREE LUM!  FREE LUM!  FREE LUM!!!" came 
the chant from the south.

	Basara sighed.  "Here we go again."

	They took off running, but the cries persisted in the 
distance.  After a while, they were all starting to tire, until 
finally, they came to the banks of the swiftly rushing 
Manetherendaelle.  "Great, we're trapped," Kurz grumbled.  
"Never fight with your back to a river, that's what my father 
always says."

	"It is?" Ranma asked.  "I never heard him say that."

	Kurz blinked.  "That wasn't father..."  He rubbed his 
forehead nervously.  "I guess we fight."

	"How well do you all swim?" Basara asked.

	"Pretty well," Kurz said. 

	"Passably," Nanami said.

	"Dammit, I'll turn female again," Ranma said.

	"Would you rather turn dead?" Kurz asked.

	"I could try vamping them," Nanami said dubiously.

	"I think you'd come to regret that," Basara said.  
"Though many fanboys will faint at the sight of beautiful 
breasts, since they see real ones so rarely."

	Kurz snickered.  

	And then, around a bend in the river, a boat came into 
view.  Basara waved to the boat.  "Over here!  We need a 
ride!"

	The boat came closer and lowered a small boat to pick 
them up.  They jumped into the water and swam out to it, 
even as the Fanboys came into sight.  Kurz looked back and 
felt his body shrivel.  It was the legendary Fanboy tribe of 
the Sailor Men.  

	"Don't look!  If you stare too long, you'll go blind!" 
Basara said, his glasses turning pitch black.  

	The Sailor Men began to do a dance and shout slogans 
as the boat pulled the four refugees over to it and then was 
raised up with winches.  They could now read the ship's 
name:  'Deus ex Machina'.  Yamamoto looked them up and 
down.  "They look scruffy, sir.  We should probably throw 
them to the Fanboys to delay any pursuit."

	"Now, now, I can't throw two cute women out into the 
cold like that," Tylor said.  "You're welcome to stay with us 
as long as you like."

	"What are we, chopped liver?" Kurz asked.

	"Are they your boyfriends?" Tylor asked Ranma-chan 
and Nanami.

	"Our brother and our father," Nanami said.

	"Sexy father," Basara added.

	"We were on our way to Whitebridge when our party 
was separated by Fanboy attack," Nanami said.  "We were 
cut off on our own, and don't even know what has 
happened to our elder sisters and our poor Mother and 
uncle."  Her voice spun a tale of woe and disaster, while 
her body advertised her figure through the wet clothing.  
She exploited both to full effect.

	"How tragic," Tylor said.  "We'd be happy to take 
you."

	"We're VERY grateful," Nanami said, springing 
forward and hugging him.  She then let go, a hand trailing 
down his arm.  "Very."

	Tylor continued to smile his lazy smile.  "Yamamoto, 
prepare quarters for them."

	Basara looked carefully at the pin which Tylor was 
wearing.  "That looks suspiciously like one of the seals on 
the Dark One's prison," he said.

	"Really?  Hmm, must be valuable," Tylor said.

	"..."  Basara was beginning to get a bad feeling about 
this apparent stroke of luck.
	
********
	
	"So, the empire of Tenchi Hawkwing is gone, as if it 
had never been?" Kaname asked sadly.

	"As far as I know," Ryouga said.  "I'm sorry."

	"Well, the Council will have to hear of this," Kaname 
said.  "It would seem the time for the Return has come."

	"The Return?" Ukyou asked.

	"When we must return and reclaim Dar'ela to the ways 
of righteousness, that it might be ready when Tarmon 
Gai'don comes and the Gate of Revolution will finally be 
found and opened.  When the Rose Bride comes in truth 
and power and the Ronin is brought to kneel before the 
Crystal Throne.  The end of the age is upon us."  Kaname 
rose.  "We shall have to take you two back to Ohtori, to tell 
the Council of this."

	"That will be a long trip," Kyoko said.

	"It can't be helped," Kaname said.

	"But...we need to get home," Ryouga said.

	"We know not how you found your way here, so all 
we can offer is a ride in our boats when the Correne takes 
place, the Return."

	"..."

	"My apologies."

	Ryouga sighed.  "Well, we'll make do, I guess.  That 
okay with you, Ukyou?"

	"Yeah," Ukyou said.  "Can't be helped, I guess.  The 
others are going to think we're dead or something."

	Ryouga sighed.  "They'll blame me."

********* 

	"How strange, he seems to have moved off to the west 
suddenly," Setsuna said.

	Hinako sighed.  "Maybe he wasn't lying about going 
to Tear."

	"What?" Soun asked in confusion.

	"He vanished for several days years ago, then claimed 
he had been in Tear the whole time.  We thought he must 
be lying, although we never did figure out where he got the 
weird shoes."

	"Weird shoes?" Soun asked.

	"They had this sort of...grill on the bottom."

	"Oh, mud-walkers," Soun said.  "Hmm, so he's in 
Tear?  But that's southeast of here."

	Setsuna frowned.  "Perhaps there's a portal stone.  He 
came back in three days, you said?"

	Hinako nodded.  "Yes."

	"Well, we found their physical trail.  Let's follow that 
for now, and see what we can find," Setsuna said.

	"Found it thanks to ME," Hinako insisted.

	"Yes," Soun said.  "You're a very good tracker."

	"Father hunted a lot and wanted a son," Hinako said.  
"I'm not bad with a bow, either."  She started down the 
trail.  "So what is a Portal Stone?"

	"They are relics of a lost civilization.  If you know 
what you're doing, you can travel to other worlds woven by 
the Wheel.  These worlds are not quite so real as our world, 
but real enough.  But most of the lore is lost, so it's 
dangerous to experiment with them," Setsuna said.  
"Yomiko and Nene Sedai probably know more about them 
than anyone else does.  And even they don't know much.  I 
can recognize one, and I know a tiny handful of 
destinations, but there are hundreds more I dare not risk."

	"Other worlds?" Hinako asked, in surprise.

	"Some are much like our own world, but subtly 
different. Others are so changed that we would become 
unrecognizable."

	Hinako glanced over at Soun, who was staring off into 
the forest with a rigid look on his face.  He's regretting 
something, she thought.  Thinking about what could have 
been.  I ought to do something to cheer him up.  "Would 
you like some candy, Soun?" she asked.  Candy always 
made her feel better.

	He turned to her, blinking in surprise, then said, "Yes, 
please, if you wish to give me some, I will accept it."

	She smiled broadly and dug out her bag of candy, 
which she gave him a peppermint from.  While some 
accused her of being too harsh a Wisdom, she knew you 
had to reward good behavior as well as punish bad actions.  
She extracted herself one as well.  "Best not to dwell too 
much on what could have been."  Like me not being stuck 
as a child most of the time, she thought.  

 	Soun sighed.  "I know.  Let's press on."

*********
	
	"Weren't we going to go to Ohtori?" Ukyou asked as 
she brought her spatula around, whacking a Fanboy in the 
head, sending him toppling off the top of the bridge.  

	"So, what do you think 'glitter' really is in Tiny 
Snow..." another Fanboy tried to ask Kaname as she snap-
kicked him in the face, then shoved him off the dam 
towards the river below.  

	"We're trying!" Kaname protested.  "There shouldn't 
be fanboys this far south!"

	With his umbrella, Ryouga swept away two more, 
who fell the shorter fall into the reservoir.  "Now we're 
Reservoir Dogs!  Cool!" one of them shouted.

	"Maybe this really was a trap," Kyoko said.  

	"IT'S A TRAP!" all of the Fanboys shouted in unison.  
One of them put on a weird squid-like mask as he did so.  
 	 	
 	"Well, that settles THAT," Kaname said, advancing on 
Mr. Squid Head with her sword out.  "Anyone for 
sashimi?"  

********

 	Ukyou ran up the slope of a mountain that seemed to 
stretch endlessly before her.  She wasn't sure how she had 
gotten there.  A horrible storm was raging over the 
mountain, which had a huge curving gash carved into it.  A 
flash of lightning illuminated the goal of her running.  Five 
people had Ranma, each of them tugging him in a different 
direction.  Setsuna was pulling on Ranma's right arm.  
Hinako was pulling his left arm.  A girl with long blonde  
hair, done up in two long pony-tails with a knob at the top 
of each, wearing a long yellow dress with a tiara was 
pulling on Ranma's left leg, while a purple-hairdo
girl in weird clothing was tugging his right leg.  Finally, 
she recognized Nanami trying to sell Ranma a boxed lunch.  
Behind them all, out of their sight, a sixth figure lurked in 
the shadows, watching them all disdainfully.  None of the 
others seemed to notice her.  

	She spoke, but only Ukyou could hear her.  "I will 
have you, Godai.  You were denied me once, but never 
again.  You will be mine."

	Ukyou shouted, "LET GO OF RANMA!  You can't 
have him!  None of you can have him!"

	Ranma shouted, "Ucchan, help me!  They're trying to 
tear me apart!"

	She tried to run to him, but it was like trying to run 
through a rushing river.  The very air resisted her 
movement.

	Setsuna said, "You cannot defy the will of the wheel.  
It will weave you away from his life."

	Hinako said, "You all have to come back to Nerima's 
field and have a normal life!"

	The purple haired girl said, "Ranma must come join 
the Masons, and the Kiwanis, and the Elks, and..."

	"Together, we will rule over the nations," the girl with 
the crown said.  "You will be mine, as you were before.  
We will save the world together."

	"C'mon, Ranma, you know I always give you a special 
deal.  And the dessert will knock your socks off.  And 
maybe a few other items of clothing.  I guarantee it."  
Nanami winked at Ranma.  

	Ukyou felt herself getting angrier.  She began 
advancing faster.  "HE IS MINE!"

	The woman in the shadows laughed.  "You always 
think that, but you always lose him in the end.  You did last 
time, and you will this time as well.  He turns to you only 
because he cannot have the one he wants!"

	It began to rain, and Ranma turned female.  She 
howled.  The women didn't seem to care.  They continued 
to tug him in different directions.  Her rage peaked, and the 
resistance shattered in a burst of light.  She leapt forward 
and grabbed Ranma to pull him away from them, but even 
at the height of her strength, all she could do was pull the 
whole mob around.

	"If you try to fight the will of the Wheel, it will only 
grind you beneath it,"  Setsuna said.  

	"I don't care what the Wheel wants!"

	"It feels the same of you," Setsuna said.  "If you 
cannot learn to flow with the Power instead of fighting it, it 
will destroy you, just like the Wheel does to those who 
fight it."

	Ukyou howled and felt Power erupt out of her.  
Everyone went flying, and the dream shattered.

*************

	Ukyou and Ryouga awoke in a crater, surrounded by 
fallen trees.  There was not a sign of the High Duellist 
Kaname and her companion, not even a body.  Ukyou 
rubbed her eyes.  "What happened?"

	"I don't know, but something like a huge clap of 
thunder woke me up," Ryouga said.  "And we're back in the 
Pine Forest."

	"Well, we still have our blankets."  Ukyou frowned.  
"They seemed like nice people.  I hope they didn't get 
hurt."

	"Yeah, me too."

*********

	"We didn't go to sleep up tangled up in a mat of 
collapsed trees, did we?" Kyoko asked.  

	Kaname snapped the branches around herself and 
wrenched loose.  "Dammit, I should have been asking 
myself how they could have gotten all the way here, but I 
was too eager to go running off to report fulfilled prophecy 
to even really think about it.  The woman must have been a 
marath'matrimon."

	Kyoko shivered.  "Running loose?  With that much 
power?"

	"This is exactly the sort of reason why our ancestors 
created the Duellists and turned the marath'matrimon into 
Brides," Kaname said.  "They were tearing Seanchan apart 
with their powers, Breaking the World a little more each 
day.  And that was the relatively sane female ones."  She 
shuddered.  "Imagine if the male ones ran loose."

	"Let's not," Kyoko said.  "Though..."

	"Though some Duellists abuse their Brides?" Kaname 
asked softly.

	Kyoko said, "I know a few bad apples can't mean the 
whole crop is spoiled, but..."

	Kaname frowned.  "I know what you mean.  People 
like Saionji or Touga or Kozue...they take it too far.  It 
just...but there's just not another way.  If we don't rein them 
in, they rampage and destroy and plot endlessly and hurt 
the innocent.  I just don't know what else we could do."

	Kyoko managed to wrench herself loose.  "Are you 
still going to tell the Council President about all this?  We 
have no proof now."

	Kaname dug something out of the tangled mass of 
trees.  A map.  The marath'matrimon's map.  "This may be 
proof enough at least to send a scouting expedition to 
confirm if it is accurate and not some marath'matrimon 
trick."

	"Then let's take it to Ohtori and see what Council 
President Touga decides to do with it."

************

 	Hinako sat up, her head throbbing.  "Did you hear 
that?" she asked Setsuna, as she sat up.

	"I felt it," Setsuna said.  "Massive amounts of 
channeling.  And now Ryouga is back."

	"But...you can't mean that..." Hinako began frantically.

	"Probably Ukyou.  She has the potential, as I told you, 
and now it has awakened.  She's with Ryouga, after all," 
Setsuna said.  "So don't worry about Ryouga."

	"Should we go find them?" Hinako asked.

	"I only barely heard anything," Soun said.  "They must 
be hours and hours away.  We can't get there before they 
would have woken and moved on, so better we rest now 
and press on in the day."

	"Alright," Hinako said reluctantly.  "Are you going to 
stay up all night?"

	"I will rest later," he said.  "But for now, I will watch 
over you both."

	Hinako smiled.  She liked having him watching over 
her; he made her feel safe.  "Alright.  Back to sleep."

********

	Kurz looked around the room, trying to figure out how 
he'd gotten off the Deus ex Machina and into a huge domed 
room with a large metal contraption near one of the walls.  
For lack of something better to do, he wandered over to the 
machine, which seemed to consist of many tubes and metal 
spheres full of holes.  

	"Hello, traveller," a man's voice said.

	Kurz started, then turned and saw a handsome man, 
dark skinned and purple haired, clad in expensive white and 
purple clothing which screamed 'I am royalty'.  "Umm, 
hello, sir," he said, taking off his hat.  "Should I bow?"

	The man shook his head, walking over.  "No need to 
bow.  I do not stand on formalities."  He flicked a switch on 
the machine, and lights began to play about the ceiling, 
showing the stars, while the rest of the room went dark.    
The various globes began to slowly rotate and the stars 
drifted across the ceiling.  "Pardon an old man's 
eccentricities."

	"Oh wow, this is amazing," Kurz said, staring up at 
the stars.  "Did you make this?"

	"I have never been an artificer," the man said.  "And 
this was made thousands of years ago, before the Breaking 
of the World.  Though I had it made for me, as I have 
always loved to study the stars."

	"Where am I?"

	"I am Prince Dios, and this is my castle," he said.  
"And who are you?"

	"I am Kurz Cauthon.  Nice to meet you.  Umm, how 
did I get here?"

	"This is but a dream.  We are within the world of 
dreams, and you have dreamed your way here," Prince Dios 
said.  "I wait here, until the Ronin is reborn, and he calls us 
all with the Horn of Valere to fight for him."

	"Oh wow, you are one of the Heroes of the Horn?" 
Kurz asked.

	Dios nodded.  "We seek the Ronin, that we might 
know who to serve in this age."

	"Well, I haven't met him," Kurz said.

	"You might be him," Dios said casually.

	"What?" Kurz asked in disbelief.

	"We know he has been reborn, and we seek his 
dreams.  But we have not yet found him," Dios said.  

	"Isn't he supposed to Break the World again?" Kurz 
asked nervously.

	"He will lead the Forces of the Light to glory and 
victory over the Shadow," Dios replied.  "Without him, all 
will perish.  We must find him, before the Shadow does, 
yet we cannot touch the Waking World directly, for it is 
against the laws.  I can only tell you this much because 
your dreams led you to me."

	"Well, I doubt any of us is the Ronin reborn.  
Although..."  Kurz frowned.  "It would explain why all 
those Fanboys are after us.  But why all three of us?"

	"Perhaps they are not sure which of you is the Ronin, 
either.  Have your fathers ever been to Tar Valon?"

	"Tar Valon?"

	"The Roninmount, where the Ronin is to be reborn, is 
near there.  Thus, if any of you were the Ronin, you would 
have to have been born outside your homeland and brought 
there after your birth."

	"We're all native, as far as I know," Kurz said.  
"Although Father has been to Baerlon once for a really big 
horse trading deal.  He never told me how BIG it was, 
though."

	Prince Dios looked thoughtful.  "Well, you are 
welcome to visit me any time you like.  Should you hear 
anything, I would be most grateful if you did."

	"Well, I would if I could, but I don't know how I got 
here."

	Prince Dios reached into his pocket and pulled out a 
signet ring with a white rose insignia.  "Wear this.  It will 
draw you back here whenever you wish to visit."

	Kurz took it and put it on, noticing Dios wore such a 
ring himself.  "Very nice," he said.  

	Dios smiled, and looked up at the stars.  "Take a look 
at this."

	Kurz looked up, studying the stars.  They began to 
move, the night sky shifting and changing, until finally, the 
night sky seemed almost unrecognizable.  "What's going 
on?"

	"That is the night sky as it appeared exactly halfway 
along one rotation of the Wheel of Time from us."  He 
pushed another button and the sky shifted again, gradually 
reassuming its familiar shape, until it was once again as he 
knew it.  "And that is it, exactly one rotation ago, when this 
age last came."

	"History turns to legend.  Legend turns to myth.  And 
in the end, even legend is forgotten," Kurz said.  "That's 
what Basara told us in one of his stories.  But you...you 
remember these things, don't you."

	"Yes," Dios said, a little sadly.  "Whenever I am 
reborn, I remember nothing, but as I am here, I remember it 
all.  It is somewhat different each time, but the same."

	"Huh?"

	"I cannot explain it clearly," Dios said.  "I am not 
supposed to tell you how it happened last time.  It creates 
disruptions in the Pattern.  So, my library contains the 
stories of all that was, but I can't share them with anyone 
who doesn't already know.  There are rules, which even we 
must obey."

	"Can you at least tell me if the next woman I flirt with 
really is going to kick me in the balls?" Kurz asked.

	Dios stared at him, then laughed.  "A wise man, faced 
with a prophecy he does not like, finds a way to fulfill it 
with minimum pain."

	Kurz parsed that, then smiled.  "Ahh, I see what you 
mean."

	The room began to waver, and Dios said, "I think you 
are about to wake up.  Farewell, Kurz Cauthon.  May the 
Wheel weave you pleasantly."

	Kurz woke up, feeling nature's call.  After taking care 
of his business, he came back to lie down, only to notice he 
was now wearing a white rose signet ring.  "Wow," he 
muttered to himself.  "I'll have to ask Basara if he knows 
any stories about Prince Dios."

**********

 	'EAT MORE BEEF' the sign proclaimed.  Ryouga 
stared at it.  "Who tacked this up in the middle of the 
woods?" 

	Ukyou scratched her head.  "Not a clue, but they had 
good handwriting."

	Ryouga sniffed the air.  "Ugh, something dead."

	"Dead?" Ukyou asked.  

	He pointed with his umbrella.  A short distance away, 
they found the remains of a deer, mostly eaten.  Ryouga 
studied it and frowned.  "I think a boar killed it."

	Ukyou studied the grounds.  "Some kind of hoofprints.  
I wish the Wisdom was here; she'd know what did this."

	"Just look at the gore marks," Ryouga said.  "It's 
pretty..."  He paused, sniffed the air, and walked around a 
tree.  "Okay, this is strange."

	"What is..."  Ukyou came around the tree and stared.  
"Since when did boars make fires?"  The cooking pit was 
fairly recently used and nicely set up with large rocks to 
keep the fire from spreading.  

	"A very good question," Ryouga said.  "Maybe it's 
Saldeans.  Don't they use War Boars?"

	"You can't really believe they ride giant pigs into 
battle, can you?" Ukyou asked.

	"I didn't think Fanboys could be real, either," Ryouga 
said, sighing.  "I guess we have to be prepared for 
anything."

	"Well, if it is Saldeans, maybe they came here in 
pursuit of the Fanboys.  They'd have had to get through 
Saldea to get to us, right?" Ukyou asked.

	"Let's check your map," Ryouga said.

	She dug through her pockets.  "Dammit, it's gone!"

	"Well, maybe we'll get lucky and I'll land us in Tear."

	Ukyou sighed.  "Let's follow the tracks.  At least it 
gives us some idea where to go."

*********	

	"Prince Dios?" Basara asked.  "Yes, he was a prince of 
ancient Jaramide, during the Fanboy Wars.  He fought 
many valiant battles against them in defense of the helpless.  
Unfortunately, he was never seen again after the fall of 
Mirashelle.  You had a dream about him?"

	Kurz showed him the ring.  "He gave me this."

	Basara blinked.  "He gave it to you in a dream and you 
woke up with it?"

	"Yes."

	"Looks valuable," Nanami said, studying it.  

	"I'd be wary of it," Basara said.  "It might be a gift 
from a Hero of the Horn, or it might be some sort of trap.  
I've heard stories that some servants of the Shadow can 
enter people's dreams."

	Kurz frowned.  "Huh.  Well, he seemed nice to me."

	"I wish people would come into my dreams and give 
me jewelry," Nanami said.

	"Not me," Ranma-chan said.  "Bad enough I can't 
seem to stay male on this ship, I don't need jewelry too."

	Nanami came over to her and said, "Well, you could 
be a real knockout if you wanted to be, like this."  She slid 
a hand along Ranma-chan's right arm.  "Men go crazy for a 
body like this; makes it really easy to get things from 
them."

	"I just wanna be a guy again," Ranma said.

	"I'm just saying that if you have an edge, you've got to 
work it for all it's worth," Nanami said.  

	"Yep," Kurz said.  "Hey, Yamamoto, when do we get 
to Whitebridge?"

	Yamamoto looked across the deck at him.  "Three 
days."

	"That calls for a celebration!" Tylor said.  "I'll get out 
some wine."

	Yamamoto sighed.  "You think everything calls for a 
celebration."

	"And this is a problem?" Tylor asked cheerfully.

	Yamamoto said, "You can't party all the time."

	"That's true.  Sometimes you have to clean things back 
up or sleep or eat."

********

	Madoka, the Wise One of Cold Feet Hold, a 
stronghold of the Animeigo tribe of the Aiel, looked down 
from the balcony and sighed.  Her sister-daughter, 
Shampoo, was playing 'Whack the Stone Dog' with Naru, 
Mutsumi, and Motoko, using poor Keitaro as their victim 
again.  How can he be so patient with them, she asked 
herself.  Not that patience is a bad quality in a man, but 
putting up with this more than once was overdoing it.  
Mutsumi wasn't too bad, as she was very gentle, but 
Shampoo, Naru, and Motoko didn't seem to be holding 
back at all.   

	She tugged her skirt irritably and wished that the other 
Wise Ones hadn't decided that guitar picks counted as 
weapons so she couldn't carry them anymore.  But that was 
dust in the wind and decades past, besides.  She had learned 
more subtle methods, though using subtlety on Shampoo 
was a waste of water, so to speak.

	"Shampoo."  She spoke just loud enough that 
Shampoo could hear without appearing to be shouting.

	Shampoo didn't hear her.  She whacked Keitaro in the 
head with her bonbori while he was trying to dodge blows 
from the others.  It was the third Wednesday of the month 
and by the rules of his club, Keitaro couldn't strike anyone 
without owing them a year of window washing, which
he really hated.  Luckily, it wasn't also the third month of 
the year, in which case he would also have owed them a 
lifetime supply of rice-a-roni and a golden Shmoo if he 
struck any of them.  The rules of Tic-tac-toe are easily a 
snare for those unwilling to memorize all 5,235.34 of them.  

	Madoka raised her voice slightly.  "Shampoo."

	Yusaku turned to chew out Shampoo, then Naru and 
Motoko whacked him in the back of the knees, while 
Mutsumi tickled him.  The rules of their club required 
randomly tormenting Stone Dogs on this day of the month, 
so that is what they were doing.  Sure, most of the other 
Sisters of the Mallet made sure they didn't encounter Stone 
Dogs they liked on this day, but Shampoo, Naru, and 
Motoko tended to be rather sticklers for rules, and Mutsumi 
always seemed to get dragged along with them.  It wasn't 
that they disliked Keitaro...well, Shampoo and Mutsumi 
didn't seem to normally dislike Keitaro, anyway.  They 
were simply following the rules.  This was the day you 
tormented Stone Dogs.

	Hikaru walked out onto the balcony besides Madoka.  
She looked down and frowned.  "They shouldn't do that to 
Keitaro.  Of course, he ought to have the sense to not go 
out in public on the third Wednesday of the month, but 
still..."  Like Madoka, she wore a simple white shirt and a 
gaily colored skirt that went down to her ankles.  Unlike 
Madoka, she also wore a pair of gold earrings and a bright 
red bandanna in her blonde hair, which was starting to grey.  

	"Shampoo,"  Madoka repeated a third time, a little bit 
louder.

	"SHAMPOO!  GET YOUR DEAF SELF UP HERE!"  
Hikaru shouted.  "Or I'll make you rearrange all the 
furniture in the ENTIRE hold, again!"

	That got Shampoo's attention.  She could pretend to 
not hear her sister-mother, but when the roofmistress 
shouted her name all over creation, she had to answer.  Half 
the hold was staring at her.

	Madoka stifled the urge to laugh.  Unlike herself, 
Hikaru had never been big on dignity.  Nor had the threat 
been an idle one.  One of the rights of the roofmistress was 
to demand help moving furniture.  Cold Rocks had 
accumulated a LOT of furniture, especially since Hikaru 
tended to buy every piece of furniture that traders brought 
into the Three-Ply Land, or at least every piece brought to 
their hold.  What was a 'Audiovisual center', anyway?

	Shampoo quickly climbed up the wall to the balcony, 
since it was faster than going through the interior of the 
hold.  Shampoo believed firmly in the proposition that a 
straight line wasn't just the shortest route between two 
points, it was always the best route.  She spent a lot of time 
repairing walls as a result.

	"Aiya, why you take Shampoo away from her duty,
Great-Grand-Mother?"

	Madoka only barely resisted the urge to whack 
Shampoo in the head.  "I am your sister-mother, not your 
Great-Grand-Mother!"  Shampoo had always called her that 
for reasons Madoka could not comprehend.  "Anyway, the 
time has come for you to become a Wise One."

	Only Shampoo's iron-clad will kept her from 
screaming.  That and the fact that the last time she 
screamed, Madoka had used her patented triple-slap on her.  
It was some sort of channeling trick, Shampoo was certain.  
"Shampoo not want to become Wise One."

	"You have the talent.  You must learn.  Still, there is 
one thing you could do for us before you begin your 
training, if you are reluctant to start at once."

	"Aiya!  Shampoo do anything to avoid wearing ugly 
cloth...to serve the Wise Ones."

	Maybe she's starting to learn some tiny smidgen of 
sense, Madoka thought.  "We have to send you across the 
mountains into the Wetlands."

	She waited for Shampoo to scream, but Shampoo 
fainted instead.  Hikaru turned to Madoka.  "You shouldn't 
make jokes like that."

	"I wasn't joking."

	Hikaru fainted this time.  Madoka sighed.  I bet they'll 
faint again when I tell them why.  Feigning 
unconsciousness to avoid bad news was perhaps the most 
annoying of the 3,245 Aiel customs listed in the latest issue 
of 'Aiel Anthropology Today', which she really needed to 
read when she found time.  The Anthropologist Aardvarks 
got annoyed when you didn't read their journal, and if they 
found out, under rule 2456-subsection B of Tic'Tac'Toe, 
they could require you to listen to a reading of their latest 
paper, which was almost as much fun as being suspended 
over an antbed while covered with honey.  Madoka knew 
this by experience, which despite its reputation is not the 
best teacher, at least if you don't like pain.

*************************

	"Mmm, that smells really good," Ukyou said, sniffing 
the air.  Her stomach growled.  

	"Beef, it's what's for dinner, I hope," Ryouga said, 
speeding up.

	They came to the edge of a clearing and found a dark-
haired girl, about their age, busily cooking steaks over a 
large firepit, as a half-dozen boars lounged about, waiting 
to be fed.  Her yellow eyes glinted in the firelight, looking a 
little eerie, though her smile was wide and sincere.  "Hello 
there!" she said, waving.  "You two look to be a long way 
from your home."  

	"Yeah, we're hideously lost, thanks to genius-boy 
here," Ukyou said.

	"Hey, I'm not the one who lost the map."

	"I'm not the one who sent us to another continent!"

	"Well, I'm not the one who blew a hole in the forest!" 
Ryouga protested.

	The woman waved her hands nervously.  "I'm sure 
neither of you meant to get lost."

	Ukyou sighed and slumped to the ground.  "We're 
trying to get to Whitebridge."

	"Well, you're on your way to Kandor, instead," the 
woman said.  "Oh, my name's Akari.  What's yours?"

	"I'm Ukyou al'Vere, and this is Ryouga Ayabara," 
Ukyou said.  "And we've been lost for days and lost all our 
supplies and my grill and everything."  She sighed.

	"Well, if you don't mind beef and noodles..." Akari 
began.

	"BEEF AND NOODLES!" Ryouga proclaimed, then 
looked embarrassed.  "We'd be very grateful."

	"Chamberlain, can you bring me the noodle bag?" she 
asked one of the boars.

	The boar got up and dragged the bag over to her.  She 
began getting out more noodles.  "They told me to expect 
visitors, so I stocked up," she said.  

	"Who did?" Ukyou asked.

	"The boars," Akari said, patting the boar fondly on the 
head.  "They were a little wary of you," she said, looking at 
Ukyou, "But they seem to like Ryouga."

	"Are you Saldean?" Ryouga asked.

	"I'm not insane enough to be Saldean," Akari said.  "I 
just talk to pigs, like in the elder times."

	"Like in the elder times?" Ryouga asked.

	"Thousands of years ago, before channeling was re-
discovered, men and pigs lived together in harmony, led by 
those who could talk to them.  Then dark times came, and 
the Dark One convinced men pigs made better dinners than 
friends.  It's all part of the evil cow conspiracy, you see."  
She sounded very sad.  "Men forgot how to talk to pigs.  
But now, the talent for it is starting to come back, with 
people like me."

	One of the boars nuzzled against Ryouga's leg like a 
cat.  Nervously, he petted it.  "Good boy," he said weakly.

	The boar purred, or tried to, anyway.

	"Do you know the way to Whitebridge?" Ukyou 
asked.

	"Yes, I do," Akari said.  "I have some friends who are 
going that way; I'm sure they can help you get there."  She 
started fixing some more food.

	"Thanks," Ukyou said.

	"You're welcome," Akari replied.

***********

	Ranma-chan wiped her forehead and stared off across 
the water.  "Ugh," she said.

	"You shouldn't have drunk so much," Basara said.  "If 
you can't handle it."

	"This isn't just a hangover, I think I have the flu or 
something," she said, taking his hand and putting it on her 
forehead.  "Do I have a fever?"

	"A little," he said, frowning.  "But the doctor on this 
ship is a quack, I don't think he'll be any help."

	"I wish Wisdom Hinako was here," Ranma-chan 
muttered.  "She'd know the right herbs for this."

	"Once we hit Whitebridge, we can take you to a local 
wise woman," Basara said.  "Just hold on."

	She clutched the railing, feeling a little nauseous.  "I 
will."  She paused.  "Basara."

	"Hmm?" he asked.

	"Thanks for sticking with us," she said.  "When you 
didn't have to."

	"You're good kids," he said softly.  "I couldn't just 
leave you on your own to die."  A little louder, he said, 
"And we get to put our expenses on the White Tower's tab."

 	Ranma-chan laughed.  "That's one way of looking at 
it."

	"Love makes the world go round, but money pays for 
the flowers and candy," Basara said.  He glanced off across 
the woods.  "I'm sure the others are alright," he said.

	"Yeah, they'll be fine, I'm sure," Ranma-chan said.  "I 
think."

	They heard the sound of a foot hitting metal and an 
angry woman yelling, then the sound of Kurz being hit in 
the head with something.  Ranma-chan glanced over at 
Basara.  "Do you think we ought to check on him?"

	"He's young.  He'll recover."

*******

	There was a distant explosion.  Ryouga looked 
suspiciously at Ukyou, who said, "Hey, it wasn't me!"

	"Ahh, we're almost there," Akari said, riding alongside 
them.  Each of them was astride a boar, moving quickly 
through the woods. 

	"Almost..."  Ryouga paused.  "Wait..."

	He and Ukyou looked at each other.  "Tinkers," they 
said in unison.

	"They're very nice," Akari said, smiling.

	"If we start running now..." Ryouga began.

	It was too late, as several men and women in labcoats 
emerged from among the trees.  "Akari!  It's so good of you 
to come visit!" one of them, a short woman with red spikey 
hair said.  "And you brought us experimental subjects!"

	"Hi, Dr. Wasyuu!" Akari said.  "This is Ryouga 
Ayabara and Ukyou al'Vere.  They got lost in the woods.  
Do you think you can help them get to Whitebridge?"

	Wasyuu clapped her hands gleefully.  "We can test 
THE MEGA-CATAPULT!"

	"We were hoping to just ride along with you," Ryouga 
said.

	"But that wouldn't be even HALF as exciting," 
Wasyuu said.

	"Boredom is good," Ryouga said. 

	Ukyou nodded firmly.

	"Fine," Wasyuu said.  "I could use some help taking 
care of my carnivorous plant collection."

	"..."

	Another one of the Tinkers, a blonde woman with 
glasses, said, "I claim the girl.  I need a pilot once I get 
Hawkwing's statue to come to life."

	"Oh, like THAT will happen in this lifetime," Wasyuu 
said derisively.  "It wasn't designed to be a giant 
warmachine, you know, Ritsuko."

	"It wouldn't be any fun if it was," Ritsuko said.

	"So how's your boyfriend doing up north, anyway?" 
Wasyuu asked as they now headed into the camp and 
Ryouga planned his escape.

	The camp was a collection of roofed wagons, virtual 
miniature houses and laboratories on wheels, all drawn up 
to form a delta around the central campfire, where food 
preparation experiments were being conducted.  

	"We'd be a lot closer to completing the project if he 
hadn't decided he was prophesied to be the Ronin and save 
the world," Ritsuko said.  "I told him Saldea was a lousy 
place to start, but you know him.  He just doesn't listen to 
reason."

	"He can be like that," Akari said.  "So what's for 
dinner tonight?"

	"Professor H. M. Wogglebug is mixing up a batch of 
his food pills," Wasyuu said.  "Hopefully, these won't turn 
people into food this time."

	Ryouga prayed for Ukyou to explode again.

********

	The Deus ex Machina was awash with clothing, 
clothing hanging from every line, every pole, every single 
elevated part of the ship.  This was because Tylor had 
declared it to be laundry day.  Nanami had taken charge of 
the laundry work, as she had experience in it.  Yamamoto 
was pleased with the results; for once the whites were white 
and the darks were dark and the lights were light, instead of 
EVERYTHING somehow turning plaid.  

	"You did a very good job," Yamamoto said to her.  

	She smiled.  "Thank you," then handed him a slip of 
paper.  

	"What is this?" he asked.

	"The bill for my services."

	"..."

	"What, you expected me, a paying customer, to do all 
the ship's laundry for FREE?" she asked.

	"But this...This is twice what all four of you together 
paid to ride with us!"

	"And?" Nanami asked.  "I gave you a ten percent 
discount because you supplied all the cleansers yourself."

	"Captain!" Yamamoto shouted.

	Tylor came over from where Basara was giving 
Ranma and Kurz guitar lessons.  "My rendition of Smoke 
on the Water wasn't that bad, was it?"

	"Look at this!" Yamamoto proclaimed, handing a 
piece of paper to Tylor.  

	Tylor looked at it.  "It's a bill."

	"Yes."

	"So, pay the bill."

	"But...we'll lose money!  And it's just..."

	"Now, now, she's been working hard all day while 
you've just been shouting orders," Tylor said.  

	"I don't think we even have this much cash, once we 
pay everyone," Yamamoto said.  "Not until we sell those 
pickled plums and the peppers."

	"Well, then, I'll just have to make sure you get a good 
deal," Nanami said, rubbing her hands.  "So you can pay 
me."

	"See, that way, we all win," Tylor said.  "Now I can go 
back to my music lesson, and Nanami can go back to the 
laundry, and you can go back to shouting and stamping 
about and everyone will be happy, right?"

	Yamamoto sighed.  "Right."

*********

	Ukyou rubbed her forehead.  How did I get talked into 
this, she asked herself.  "And you call this..."

	"My Beautiful Night bread!" Dr. Fogler pronounced.  
The bread in question was a charred mass which might at 
one time have been rye.  

	"Do you have any butter?"

	"Here you go," Dr. Carver said, passing her a jar full 
of some sort of brown paste.  

	"It's brown."

	"I made it from peanuts," he said.

	"..."  

	"It's very good," Dr. Wasyuu said grudgingly.  "Much 
better than the turnip butter was."

	"I would have perfected that EVENTUALLY," Dr. 
Machinegal grumbled.

	Ukyou tried some.  "Wow, it is good.  I thought 
everything here blew up or poisoned you, but..."

	"Well, we're still searching for the Bomb," Dr. 
Wasyuu said.  "But we haven't found it yet."

	"The Bomb?" Ryouga asked, not sure if he wanted to 
know.

	"The perfect explosive.  Once we find that, our lives 
will be complete.  In the meantime, we advance the ways of 
science and travel around the world, one step ahead of 
rioting mobs, who can't appreciate our genius," Dr. 
Frankenstein said.

	"I see," Ukyou said.  "So how long will it take us to 
get to Whitebridge?"

	"We could be there tomorrow, if only these fools 
would let me test my steam-driven wagon!" Dr. Bunsen 
Honeydew said.  His constant lab assistant, a redhaired 
man, waved his hands in the transuniversal sign which 
means 'For the love of the Creator, please say NO to him!'.  

	"So, instead, we should make it there in about a week 
or two, depending on how many times a wagon explodes 
and has to be fixed," Dr. Wasyuu said.

	"Or if we accidentally shift into another dimension, it 
could take much longer," Dr. Ritsuko said.

	Ukyou looked over at Ryouga.  "Don't do it, Ryouga."

	"Hey, YOU are the one who blew up the woods!"

	"Blew up the woods?" Dr. Wasyuu asked curiously.

	I am going to KILL you, Ryouga, Ukyou thought.

********
	
	"Do you have anything to declare?" the customs 
officer asked Tylor.

 	"It's a mighty fine later winter day," he said.

	"As in, any goods you've brought into the country?"

	"Yamamoto is always telling me I'm up to no good, so 
I'd have to say no," he said.

	"..."

	"Anything else?"

	"If you're not hauling goods, what is your business 
here?" the official asked.  

	"We're dropping off some passengers and selling some 
peppers so we can afford to pay them."

	"So you are bringing goods into the country," the man 
said.

	"No, we're selling them here in the city," Tylor said.

	"..."

	"So we can afford to pay our passengers."

	"You're paying your passengers?"

	"Yes, we worked it all out, and we owe them money."

	"For sailing with you," the customs agent said.

	"Yes."  Tylor paused.  "Do they count as imported 
goods?  We're not selling them."

	The customs agent's eyes began to fuzz over.  "You're 
going to sell your passengers in order to pay them the 
money you owe them for the peppers?"

	"No, no, we're not selling the passengers, we're selling 
the peppers."

	"Who you owe money to."

	"Let me try again," Tylor said.

	"Just...go.  Go away.  Take your peppers and sell them 
to your passengers or whatever."

	"Well, I just..."

	"Go!  Go!  Go!"

	Tylor went.

	"How much do we owe?" Yamamoto asked.

	"He just asked me to go away," Tylor said, shrugging.  
He turned to Nanami.  "Ready to sell those peppers?"

	She nodded.  "Let's go!"

**********

	"Are you ready?" Nanami asked Ranma-chan.

	"Are you SURE I should be doing this?" she asked.  
She was pretty sure that wearing a bunny costume was 
NOT a standard part of selling bulk merchandise.  

	"You're more stacked than I am," Nanami said.  "If 
you've got it, flaunt it and get paid for it, as they say.  
Besides, I'm wearing one too."

	Ranma-chan sighed.  "Wisdom Hinako would kill 
me."

	"I don't see Wisdom Hinako," Kurz said.

	"If I see one drop of drool, you die, Kurz," Ranma-
chan said.

	"I'm certainly not drooling," he said.  "And at least 
you get to wear a partial top," he continued.  "I'm having to 
go topless."

	"Use what you've got," Nanami said.  "Let's make 
some sales."

	Basara tagged along, watching Nanami negotiate.  The 
merchants found it hard to concentrate on anything besides 
the unusually bare flesh around them, and she closed 
several deals with a lot more success than he would have 
expected.  She has good instincts, he thought.

	"Your daughter is quite impressive," Tylor said.  "And 
the rest of your children."

	"Yes, I know," Basara said.   

	"You seem to have been a good father to them."

	"Sexy father," Basara added.

	"So, are you going to wait here and see if the rest of 
your family makes it?"

	"We should," Basara said.  "You going to head on 
downstream?"

	Tylor nodded.  "We'll set sail tomorrow morning."

	"Good luck."

	"And to you as well," Tylor said.

*********

	Nanami said to the innkeeper of The Silver Crown, 
"We need two rooms."

	"What, you get a room to yourself?" Ranma-chan 
asked her.

	"One for the girls, one for the guys," Nanami said.

	"I'm a guy!" Ranma-chan protested.

	The innkeeper looked at her dubiously.

	"I'm paying, so I decide," Nanami said.

	Ranma-chan sighed.  "Okay, okay."  

	They went upstairs and unpacked, which was easy as 
they had little to unpack.  "So, are we going to wait here for 
the others?" Kurz asked.

	"I will circulate around the town and see if I find news 
of them coming through," Basara said.  "They may already 
be here, at another inn."

	"Sounds good to me," Nanami said.  "Let's get some 
food, take a bath, and go to bed."

********
	
	"Aren't you going to take a bath?" Nanami asked 
Ranma-chan.

	"Gonna have a tub sent up here," Ranma-chan said.  "I 
can't go to the public baths, or I'll get clobbered either 
way."

	"Hmm, well, we could share a tub," Nanami 
suggested.

	Ranma-chan sweated.  "But I'm gonna turn male 
during all this!"

	"You say that like it's bad," she said, grinning.

	"Don't tease me like that," Ranma-chan protested.

	"Okay, I'll go down and have them send the stuff up, 
then.  See you later."

	Ranma-chan took her bath, shivering more.  I hate 
being sick, she thought.  Once she turned into a man from 
the hot water, he lay in the water for as long as he could, 
then got out and doused himself with cold water, though he 
wished he could stay male.  Unfortunately, it would look 
bad if two girls checked in and only one checked out.  

	Nanami was still in the baths, so Ranma-chan got into 
the big double bed and went to sleep.

**********

	Ranma-chan found herself elegantly dressed in red 
and black, her hair done up with ribbons and bows and 
jewels and golden chains, topped with a tiara.  She was at a 
grand ball of some kind, feeling a little confused as to how 
she got there.  

 	Soon, she spotted the punch bowl, and decided to get a 
drink and try to find out where she was.  The smiling 
server, a purple-haired woman with dark skin, said, "You 
look wonderfully elegant today, Princess."

	"Princess?  When did I become a Princess?" Ranma-
chan asked.

	"Every woman is either a Princess or a Witch," the 
woman informed her primly.  "You don't want to be a 
Witch, do you?"

	"Well, no, not really," Ranma-chan said.  "But I'm a 
guy."

	The woman leaned across the table and poked her 
breast.  

	"That's just from this curse thing.  Give me some hot 
water, and I'll show you."

	The dark-skinned woman passed her a teakettle.  
Ranma-chan poured it over her head.  Nothing happened.  
"What?  Dammit, it must not have been hot enough."

	"Now, now, only Witches curse," the woman said.  

	"I'm a guy!  We swear!" Ranma-chan insisted.  

	"Oh dear, would you like a towel?" a man asked 
Ranma-chan.

	"Yeah, please," Ranma-chan said.

	The tall, dark-skinned man handed her a towel, which 
she used to dry herself off as best she could.  "Thanks.  I'm 
Ranma, what's your name?"

	"I am Prince Dios, Princess Ranma."

	"Hey, did you meet my friend Kurz?"

	"Oh, you know Prince Kurz?"

	"PRINCE Kurz?" Ranma-chan asked in disbelief.

	"Yes," Prince Dios said.  "Would you like to dance?"

	"I can't dance with a guy."

	"She thinks she is a man," the dark-skinned woman 
said.

	It suddenly struck Ranma that they looked like 
siblings.  "Hey, you two related?"

	"This is my sister, Princess Rose.  I hope you two will 
be good friends," Dios said, smiling benevolently.  "So, 
you think you are a man?"

	"I know I am," Ranma-chan said.  "Just get me hot 
enough water, and I'll show you."

	"Well, I suppose I could ask Rose to take you to the 
baths.  We have a hotspring."

	"That would be great," Ranma-chan said.  "Thanks."

	They went to the baths, but no matter what they did, 
Ranma-chan didn't change back.  She sank into the hot 
water.  "I don't understand."

	"Perhaps you only dreamed of being a boy.  I once 
dreamed I was a wheel of cheese," Princess Rose said.

	"..."

	"Worst of all, my pet mouse ate me.  But no matter.  
Let's get you dressed so you don't miss the whole ball."

	"But...this is just a dream," Ranma-chan insisted.  

	"Who can tell what is real and what is dream?  We can 
only go by what is happening to us now, and it seems you 
are all woman here, whatever may happen in your dreams," 
the Rose Princess said.

	"Well, if I'm stuck, at least I can..."  Ranma-chan 
began, then she felt herself shake.  "What the..."

	And then she shook awake.  Basara was standing over 
both her and Nanami, and they could hear the undulating 
wail of the Fanboys.  "SIEG ZION!"

	"Come on," Basara said.  "The fanboys have slipped 
into the town, and we must flee."

	They ended up leaping out of a second story window 
into an alleyway, then taking off through the streets, the 
distant shouts slowly getting closer.  "How are we going to 
get out of town?  The gates are closed at night," Kurz 
asked.  

	Basara ducked into an alleyway, and emerged dressed 
in a watch commander's uniform, complete with mask.  "I'll 
order the gates opened," he said.  

	"Wow," Kurz said.

	"Where did you get a mask of the watch commander?" 
Nanami asked.

	"I made it, just in case," Basara said.  

	He got them out the gates, and they headed onto the 
bridge itself, a great arch made of white heartstone long, 
long ago.  It was virtually indestructible, and had outlasted 
the civilization which made it long ago.  

	They could make out shadowy figures in the darkness 
ahead as they ran, and then there was a sudden burst of 
wind, and four lagmen suddenly zoomed forward, and 
attacked Basara.  He looked at them, and at the children, 
then said, "Run!  I'll hold them here!"

	"We can't leave you!" Ranma-chan protested, then 
began to cough.  She stumbled and Nanami caught her.

	Basara shouted, "Their lag will clear soon and they'll 
come after you!  Go!  I'll catch up with you later if I can!"

	They took off running.  Nanami was crying, and 
Ranma-chan and Kurz both fought not to cry, both feeling 
very cowardly down in their bones.  

	As the road led into the woods, they heard a huge 
boom behind them.  "Maybe we should go back and 
check," Kurz said.

	"He'll catch up or else the watch will find him and take 
care of him if he's alive," Nanami said.  "We have to keep 
running, like he said.  

	Ranma-chan kept running and prayed that Basara 
would be okay.

*******

	The Deus Ex Machina cast off from Whitebridge for 
points south the next morning.  "Captain, we have a 
problem," Yamamoto said to Tylor.

	"What's the problem?"

	"Some of our underwear is missing."

	"How strange," Tylor said.  "Perhaps that was the 
explosion from last night."

	"..."

	"Or perhaps not," Tylor said.  "Well, we can buy more 
down the road.  At least what we have left is clean.  All's 
well that ends well."

	Or something, Yamamoto thought.

End Part Four