Beryl was getting desperate. She'd even tried kidnapping the lead characters of the X-Files to serve as her generals, but then Scully had refused to believe Beryl was real. It had become obvious this wasn't going to work out, especially after General Mulderite had spent all his time looking for UFOs instead of Serenity's Ring. "General Zwei-ite!" General Zwei-ite came out, frowning. As is customary with poorly disguised villians who are obvious to anyone who isn't blind, he stood in shadows which always moved to hide his face, although it was obvious from his appearance who he was. Oh wait, you can't see him. Maybe it won't be so obvious. Zwei-ite had short brown hair and violet eyes (but only because he wore colored contacts on the job), and wore a standard generalšs uniform in grey with blue trim, and a little shiny pin over his left breast. "Can't I have a new name? I canšt even spell this one right." "I'll give you a new name when you do a better job. WHERE IS SERENITY'S RING?" "I've robbed every jewelry store in Tokyo. None of them have it. I can try robbing every house in Tokyo, but it will take time." The tone of his voice made it clear he thought it was a stupid approach. "No, we don't have all day. Queen Metallia can't wait that long." She waited for him to make a joke about Metallia's name. "I have an alternate idea. The Tennis Warriors must know where it is." Beryl began to tense. He hadn't made the joke yet. He must be building up to a really bad one. "And?" "I will lure them into a trap and..." "Get crushed like Jinnai." "I will...umm...." Make a bad joke about rock bands, she thought. "Ahah! I've got it!" "You'll stage a benefit concert with the bands Queen and Metallica," Beryl guessed, deciding to make the joke herself and get it over with. "What are you talking about?" Beryl said, "Weren't you leading up to..." "No." "You don't even know what I was going to say!" "Prove it." It took a long time to get to the clever plan, such as the delay due to mutual unconsciousness. ******************* Marmalade Moon, Episode 5: "The Hunt for the Nine Rings begins. Who is Beryl's Second General?" http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/MMoon by John Biles ******************** "She's the one," Artemis said to Suzu-chan, who was sprawled out on the bed looking at herself in a magazine. She'd done some ads for the new 'Bubblegum Flash' TV series, and they were prominently featured in 'Immature', a magazine for prepubescents with delusions of grandeur. She frequently appeared there. However... "They gave Sana THREE PAGES to my TWO! That's it! I'm writing a letter to the editor RIGHT THIS MINUTE! I won't stand for this!" She sprung to her feet and stood on the bed. "I think that girl is the Moon Princess." "I WILL PUNISH SANA IN THE NAME OF THE PLANET VENUS!" She looked around. "Where's my transformation bracelet?" Artemis quietly neglected to mention she was already wearing it. "I don't know, but I do know your parents are downstairs, you've already been grounded for life, and..." "And I've been standing in the doorway the last five minutes and neither of you noticed," Miwa said. "And your parents left. I'm your official babysitter tonight. So, how long have you been Softball Warrior V?" Suzu laughed nervously. "Who, me? I'm not Softball Warrior V...I was just...practicing. I do her voice acting, you know." "And you were doing a male voice with ventriloquism so you could pretend to talk to your cat?" "Meow," Artemis clearly articulated, hoping it was convincing. "Look, I want to tell you three things. First, thanks for helping save Meiko from that youma." "You're welcome! I approve of her as your girlfriend. A cute guy like you needs a cute girlfriend." "Secondly, if you don't learn to keep what 'Softball Warrior V' knows separate from what 'Suzu-chan' knows, you're going to give away your secret identity to someone who could hurt you." "Hey, you're the only one to find out so far!" "And I won't be the last at this rate." Artemis nodded. "Miwa is right." "And thirdly...how did you get these powers? Is there..." He hesitated, then turned to Artemis. "Did you give them to her?" "Suzu-chan is the reincarnation of Tennis Warrior Venus, one of the elite bodyguards of Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom. Twenty Five Thousand Years Ago, magical kingdoms existed on every planet, a time of peace known as the White Gold Millenium." Artemis pulled out a map of the solar system and began pointing to it. He continued,"It was a beautiful place. But then Beryl, an evil sorceress who had been banished by King Terra of Earth, signed a pact with Queen Metallia, an evil goddess. She took control of the Earth and slew its Guardians; only prince Endymion escaped. Then Beryl lead her army against the Moon." He pointed out the path of the armies on his map. "Everyone died, but Queen Serenity used her ring, the Emblem of her power, to banish Beryl, Metallia, and her army into another dimension, the Dark Kingdom. She also sent all the souls of the fallen to Earth, for Pluto had warned her that with her death, the Moon would become the barren wasteland that it is now, for the Queen and the Land are one, and she had no heir to take her place; Princess Serenity had fallen." Artemis sighed. "Suzu-chan is the reincarnation of Tennis Warrior Venus, who was also trained as a Softball Warrior. While the other Tennis Warriors search for the Moon Princess' reincarnation, our job is to find Serenity's Ring, the Emblem of the Moon Kingdom. Which is easier said than done. Serenity banished the ring itself to another dimension; but if we find the nine rings of which it was the master, then we can summon it." Miwa smirked. "One Ring to rule them all, one Ring to bind them..." Artemis' eyes widened. "You know that poem?" Suzu said, "Do you know where the rings are?" "How are you supposed to find them?" "I...um....Serenity told me and I wrote it down and..." Suzu-chan turned to Artemis. "You forgot." "I accidentally used it to wrap around some fish to keep it fresh and..." It was fortunate that Artemis was tougher than the average cat. ************* Miki asked herself how Setsuna had talked her into going along with the clever plan of the day. The idea was simple. Setsuna's family had won some free memberships at a health club. Miki was supposed to ask Ginta if he'd be interested in working out with the two of them at it on a regular basis. Setsuna hoped he wouldn't be able to resist her once he saw her in a workout outfit. Miki, on the other hand, wasn't too sure Ginta would find sweat to be all that sexy. But she wanted to start working out to help with being a Tennis Warrior, so she said yes. Miki went over to Ginta's table, where he was eating with two friends of his. "Hey, Ginta, got a minute?" "Sure!" He got up. "What's up, Miki?" "I was wondering...I mean, I was thinking...there's like this club and..." "And?" "Wanna come work out with me and Setsuna?" Miki blurted out. "She's got some free health club memberships." One of the boys, a tall redhead named Masakazu Zukamori, said, "Gonna go for three girlfriends, Ginta?" Hayao, an ugly, muscular boy with black hair, snorted. "He already dumped her once. Besides, ain't she living with that Yuu kid?" Miki turned bright red. "I am NOT living with Yuu!" Ginta frowned. "She lives with her parents." "Didn't you see that campus TV broadcast?" I'm going to kill that guy, Miki thought. Moon slam to the head. "It wasn't true! We just live...near each other! And our parents know each other!" "In the biblical sense," Masakazu said. "The real question is whether and how often Miki and Yuu know each other." He sounded casual, as if he was discussing baseball scores. Miki could feel herself getting angrier. "WE HAVE NEVER HAD SEX! And he only kissed me once!" Then her hand flew to her mouth. I never meant to say that! Don't say it was my first kiss. Don't say it was my first kiss. "Don't sa..." She cut herself off in time. Ginta slammed his fist down on the table. It shook and flipped Masakazu's bento box into his face, his shirt, and his lap. Sauce, vegetables, and rice slowly dripped and oozed down his front. "DON'T SPREAD LIES LIKE THAT ABOUT MIKI!" Miki watched in shock as Ginta drove the two boys off, shouting. I never...I...Thank you, Ginta, for standing up for me. She blushed a little. I feel so...so... Her heart was pounding and she felt a little faint. Like an avenging god who had done his work, Ginta returned to her. "I'm sorry about that, Miki. They're not really bad, but sometimes they just..." He sighed. "I can't figure out how they got some crazy idea into their heads about you and Yuu having sex. I mean, I know you wouldn't do that." His voice was intense, and it seemed he had maybe just a little doubt about the last bit. But not much doubt. "I've never even had a boyfriend, let alone...done that," Miki said quietly. "Yeah, I'd love to come work out with you and Setsuna," he said. "She must have a lot of money to just buy club memberships for her friends." "Her family got lucky and won some. This club is new and they had a big lottery. Her family won big, but most of them don't work out." Miki had a mental image of Ginta in a workout outfit, glistening with sweat as he lifted weights. Suddenly, she had a better idea why Setsuna had decided to set this up. "Just let me know when we start." Miki nodded and turned to go. "I'll ask her and let you know!" *********** "Oh wow, you got a free membership?" Meiko said to Miki as they ate ice cream at a small cafe they had stopped at on the way home. "That's great! I bet you'll be in even better shape than you already are." "Setsuna's got one more membership. You wanna come?" Meiko's face lit up. "Sure! I could use some exercise. You sure she won't mind?" "She's just doing this to hit on Ginta. This way I don't have to sit there and watch." Miki's voice was just a teensy bit bitter. Meiko noticed. "Miki, you don't have to do this, you know. Just because Setsuna asked." "She's helped me out with some tough homework. I owe her. I just...I don't want to watch her hit on Ginta. Especially when he's with...Arimi." Miki chomped down half her cone with one big bite, chewed it up, then said, "I wish I knew why Yuu...kissed me. Some boys at our school thought...thought..." She shuddered. Please don't let that rumor got around. "That I knew Yuu." "Knowing Yuu isn't that bad, Miki." "In the biblical sense." "They thought that Yuu was in the bible? That he was an angel?" "No! They thought we had...like our parents." "That you had gotten married?" Meiko sounded confused, then her eyes suddenly snapped into focus. "Oh." "It's not true, but if people start believing that...I'll never be able to get married! I'll be an old maid at sixteen!" "Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be," Meiko said quietly. "I figure, as long as I NEVER go to Hawaii, I'll have a long happy marriage, but if everyone thinks I slept with Yuu..." Or even knew we slept in the same house... "Miki, if you'd slept with Yuu, you'd be glued to his arm," Meiko said. "No one in their right minds would think you'd sleep with anyone you didn't love." "Thanks, Meiko. I'm glad you believe in me." "You're my best friend, Miki. Even if I get eaten by a monster..." She paused. "Miki, I need to ask you something." Miki tensed. She's going to ask me if I'm Tennis Warrior Moon. Should I tell her? She needs to know there's someone who will protect her. "Yes." Meiko blinked. "I haven't asked yet." "Uh, well..." "I need to...I need to thank Miwa-san for trying to protect me from the youma that attacked me a few days ago. But I don't know how." "Umm...saying thank you didn't work?" "He's an idiot, but he risked his life for me. It wasn't really necessary. Tennis Mask saved me. And Softball Warrior V. But..." Miki's eyes widened. "You met her too? You didn't put her in our diary!" "Well, he did most of the work." Meiko smiled. "He's really handsome and thoughtful and he's watching over me." "Is he your boyfriend?" Miki blurted out. "Yes. No. Umm, I mean..." "Is he Softball Warrior V's boyfriend?" "Not unless he likes robbing the cradle," Meiko said. "She's maybe...12 at most." "Did she sound like she does in the anime?" Meiko nodded. "Yeah. EXACTLY like she does in the anime." An idea struck Miki. "Ahah! You could give him a Tennis Mask plushie as a present. It would kinda hint you prefer Tennis Mask to him, but also because it was handmade, it would show you appreciate what he did!" "I'm not too great at sewing, though," Meiko said. "But yeah, that might work. So when are we gonna work out?" "In two days, at five. It's gonna be lots of fun!" "Until you pass out after the first five minutes," Yuu said. Miki spun in her chair. "What are YOU doing here?" He demonstrated by licking the ice cream cone he was holding. "Eating ice cream. While you seem to be busy watching your cone melt." She eeked when she saw her hand was covered with melted ice cream. "I will not pass out!" "Let's make a bet," he said. "You're ON!" *************** Ryoko approached Shinichi (aka Na-chan/Namura- sensei/Hey you/NOT EVER Bubba) in the teacher's lounge the next morning. "I heard this health club is really good. You want to...come try it with me tomorrow?" He shook his head. "I'm busy tomorrow. How about this weekend?" "Okay. If it's good, I'll do it. I won a free day tomorrow, so I thought I would try it out." "What's the name?" "Five Rings." His face darkened. "I've heard some bad things about that place." "Well, it's free. Can't hurt to try." "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts," he muttered, half to himself. "I didn't know it was a Greek Health Club. They don't do everything naked, do they?" He face faulted, of course. ********* Tennis Warrior Pluto smiled to herself as she appeared on a balcony in the palace of the main kingdom of the world where she had been made so long ago. She had been monitoring El Hazard for some time now, waiting for certain souls to be reborn, knowing that would herald the events which would she would have to guide to insure her own existence. Now that the old Pluto of this timeline was out of the way, she would be free to handle this as was necessary. It would be tricky; her own existence had become a time paradox as well, for her own passage to the distant past had altered the present in such a way that her own past self might never be sent to the past to alter it in order that this present might exist. But she had a plan. For a moment, she leaned on her staff and pushed her long white, wavy hair out of her eyes. It never grew longer or shorter, for she was an android. One with a soul, but her body would never change, except through damage and repair. She was a rarety; three fourths of all Plutos are Setsunas, like the one she had tricked into leaving, and most of the rest came from the ranks of those chosen by destiny in most worlds to become a Sailor Senshi. She was different. Just as the Senshi had become the Tennis Warriors in this world, so the role of Pluto had fallen to a very different woman. She was not the only Ifurita-Pluto, merely the most human-like of them, for she had lived through the Silver Millenium, or as it was known now in this timeline, the White Gold Millenium. No lonely temple for her; she had known companionship and love to go with her sadness, her loneliness, and her pain. She had found her love in the past, and it gave her the strength to find him again in the present as she already had. Although it would be different. The first meeting she remembered was already a meeting that could never be. She had to sail the seas of fate, insure that her past self was sent to the past by him to become her present self, without crashing on the rocks that the consequences of her past actions had created. Jinnai would lead no bugrom armies now, Nanami was a Tennis Warrior, and everything... rushed towards a potential paradox. It was time for the next step. Hard as they both were to deal with in their own ways, she would need the aid of Fatora and Alielle, for destiny had changed, and souls born across the barriers of worlds. It formed a tie, a tie between the worlds on which she could build to ensure her own existence. They'll be making out now, Ifurita thought. A good time to be sure no one will be around to disturb my talk with them. She raised her staff and flashed into Fatora's bedroom. Her staff shed light with which to see. Light which revealed signs of a struggle, a wrecked bed, strewn clothing, a knocked over bottle of wine, and the words written on the wall, 'I shall smash the skein of destiny and watch you fade away and vanish, Pluto. It is too late. They are mine.' It was signed, 'Beryl'. Tennis Warrior Pluto stared, and for the first time in millenia, she knew fear. ************ Beryl was quite pleased with her little trick. Breaking into the other universe had been very hard, and required a lot of energy, but if it eliminated Pluto, it would be worth it. Normally, Metallia would have gotten angry, but it was Metallia's idea. Perhaps because neither of them would be able to make fun of Metallia's name due to lack of exposure to rock music. "Now all we have to do is pick proper names for you," Beryl said. "Hey! Fatora IS a proper name!" Fatora said. Beryl contemplated naming them Beavislite and Buttlite, but decided that would be too much of a compliment for them. Especially after Alielle tried to crawl up her skirt. "I will name you, 'General Horny'," Beryl said to Alielle, "and you will be 'General Ego'," she said to Fatora. "Only if I get to call you Queen Fashion Disaster," Fatora said, arms crossed under her breasts. Soon, a powerful mutual taunting session was under way. *********** Miwa was eating lunch with some friends who had snuck over from their school to eat with him. "So, Shinobu, have you reduced that Hasukawa kid to total insanity yet?" Shinobu, a tall, handsome, but silver-haired man, replied, "We're working on it. Shun keeps trying to whisper suggestions he should cross-dress into his ear while he sleeps, but he seems resistant to that." Miwa laughed. "Try using tapes and headphones." Mitsuru, also tall, handsome, and bishonen, with rather more normal brown hair, pointed over Miwa's shoulder. "Some woman is sneaking up on you. Hmm. Now she's freezing in place and blushing." Miwa turned around and saw Meiko standing paralyzed, clutching a wrapped bundle. "Come to throw yourself at me again, Meiko?" That did the trick. "This is for you! It's a sign of my gratitude," she screamed angrily. "And I did NOT come to throw myself at you! But I will throw THIS at you!" She hurled the package at him. He ducked and it nailed Mitsuru right in the forehead, knocking him out of his chair. "Eeep!" She ran over to him. "I'm really sorry about that!" He got back into his chair. "I'm not hurt. Just surprised. I didn't think Miwa could dodge so well." He tossed the package idly at Miwa. "So what did you give your loverboy?" "He is NOT my loverboy!" Meiko stormed off, grumbling to herself. "So what's in it?" Mitsuru asked. Shinobu simply watched Meiko leave, looking contemplative. "I don't know," Miwa said, unwrapping it. It was a Tennis Mask plushie, handsewn. Complete with a little cardboard tennis ball shooter. "What a weird gift." He looked at Meiko as she walked away. "Maybe my cousin will understand what this is supposed to mean." ************ "It means she thinks you're a brave hero," Suzu said. "And that she wants you to dress up as Tennis Mask and carry her away." They were over at Suzu's house that evening, trying to plan how to find Serenity's Ring. He was pretty sure the rash of robberies of Jewelry stores was conducted by the Dark Kingdom's warriors. He was also fairly certain they wouldn't find the rings in a jewelry store. Miwa wanted to believe Suzu, for once, but he wasn't so sure. "Then why did she get mad?" "Probably Sana-chan has been telling her lies about you." Miwa sighed. Suzu was becoming obsessed with destroying Sana-chan again, which ALWAYS led to trouble. "And how exactly would Meiko have met Sana?" "Everyone really pretty knows each other," Suzu said with the assurance that comes only to gods, nobles, and idiots. "Not that Sana is pretty, though. She's a withered, dried up hag!" Not too many eleven year old withered hags, Miwa thought. Say something, Artemis. Artemis said, "Unless Sana has all of the rings, lets get back to discussing..." "That's it!" Suzu shouted. "SANA is working for the Dark Kingdom! Trying to destroy us all!" Here we go again, Miwa thought. *********** "Hey, boss," Yuu said to his boss at the Junk Jungle. "Can I have tomorrow evening off? I have to go watch Miki pass out." His boss, who looked like he wanted to be Bruce Springsteen circa 1984-5, said, "Sure. Wait...watch Miki pass out?" "We're going to a health club. So we made a bet. Whoever collapses first buys the winner ice cream." "You know, you might want to think about the fact that she IS an athlete, and you're not," his boss said, paging through a catalog sent him by one of the companies he bought clothing from. Yuu stared blankly at his boss, then looked worried for a second, then his usual calm returned. "She's just there to see people sweat." The boss simply smiled. ********** o/~ Let's get physical. o/~ Music echoed throughout The Five Rings Health Club, which was one of the largest Miki had ever seen, and it was very well equipped. The weight room alone was as big as some clubs Miki had seen. She, Setsuna, Ginta, Yuu, and Meiko stood at the door of the weight room and boggled in unison. All five were dressed in workout outfits which showed off how skinny they were. "Where do we start?" Miki asked. The room was studded with hundreds of machines, almost none of which she recognized and many of which looked more like abstract art than an exercise machine. While Miki was no stranger to exercise, she was used to simple exercises that didn't involve fancy equipment. Toryo did have a small weight room, but it was out of date, and all of its equipment was easy to understand. "I'll help you, Miki," Ginta and Meiko both said in unison, then blinked. "Ginta, why don't you work with me?" Yuu said. "And the three girls can work together." Setsuna flapped her lips soundlessly, then Ginta said, "Good idea." He didn't see Setsuna flailing about mindlessly behind him. Soon, the process of sweat generation was underway. ********** "Okay, so what am I searching for?" Nanami asked Luna. They were closeted in Nanami's bedroom, which was decorated with a mixture of idol posters and covers of financial journals. "Serenity's Ring. Or the Moon Princess. Or both." Nanami typed in [SEARCH: SERENITY'S RING OR THE MOON PRINCESS OR BOTH], then hit return. >SERENITY'S RING: 9 found. >THE MOON PRINCESS: 1 found. >BOTH: 25,345,456 found. >PLEASE NARROW SEARCH. "How could you have that many of both with only..." Luna stared at it, frowning. "Nine...oh wait, Serenity split it into nine rings. But 25 million boths..." "Maybe it thought we meant Goths." "There's that many Goths?" Luna felt a bolt of fear run through her. "Try, SEARCH MOON PRINCESS." [SEARCH MOON PRINCESS] >Moon Princess slaps you for getting fresh with her. Nanami slapped her forehead. "Who is the WHACKO who designed this computer?" Luna tinysweated. "You did in your past life." [BEAT UP PAST SELF] >What past self? Nanami thought a moment. [FIND MOON PRINCESS] >You need the Moon Princess Detector to do that. [GET MOON PRINCESS DETECTOR] >The Moon Princess has it. Luna had to physically intervene to keep Nanami from driving her fist through the screen. She thought a moment, and slowly typed in, [FIND NINE RINGS OF SERENITY] >Five Rings. [FIND FIVE RINGS OF SERENITY] >Not all nine? [YOU SAID THERE WERE FIVE!] >Did not. "I HATE YOU!" Nanami shouted at the computer. There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" Nanami shouted irritably. "Makoto. Should I come back later?" "No. Come on in." Nanami made room for Makoto on the bed. "This thing is DRIVING ME NUTS!" He looked at the words on the screen and went to work. [WHERE IS THE FIRST OF SERENITY'S NINE RINGS?] >Five Rings. [WHAT IS FIVE RINGS?] >A Health Club. "Ahah! Why didn't you say that before?" Nanami asked. Nothing happened. "It can't talk, Nanami," Makoto said. [WHERE IN THE HEALTH CLUB?] >Cannot determine exact location. Magical energies are shrouding detection. WARNING: First Ring guarded by one of the Nine Dooms. [WHAT ARE THE NINE DOOMS?] >1. The punishments for committing the nine cardinal sins. >2. The nine main monsters created by Beryl, each to neutralize and destroy one of the nine Tennis Warriors. Banished by Serenity, each will return when the appropriate ring is found. >3. The various versions of the video game DOOM. >4. Some of Victor von Doom's robot doubles who rebelled and formed a rock group. "Sounds dangerous to me," Makoto said. "Good luck." [WHERE IS THE FIVE RINGS HEALTH CLUB?] >You do know what a phone book is for, right? If only I could smash you and your smart mouth, Nanami thought. I bet my brother actually programmed this. ********** "Miki, are you SURE you aren't having any trouble with this?" Meiko asked. Miki, who was in a mild weight lifting repetition trance, having pulled what felt like a million times on the two handles she was gripping as if her life depended on it, said, "How is Yuu doing?" Yuu was busy doing a rather simple set of lifts with barbells, and looked as if he hadn't done any exercise at all in the last fifteen minutes. This put him in rather strong contrast to the other frenzied weightlifters around the room, many of whom seemed determined to keep lifting until they fell down. Ginta was busy counting reps and being ready in case Yuu started to drop the barbells. "Yuu is fine, but you don't look fine," Meiko said. She glanced over at Setsuna for confirmation, but Setsuna was busy staring at Ginta's butt. "You just contradicted yourself," Miki said groggily. "What?" "And your grammar was bad. That should be 'Yuu doesn't look fine'. So is he okay or not?" "Miki, I think you need to rest." "Can't rest. Have to show Yuu I can handle it." Regaining Setsuna's attention with a good shaking, Meiko dragged Miki off the machine. "Setsuna, sit on her if you have to." Setsuna nodded. At this moment, Ryoko walked in, looked around, saw them, and came over. "You got a free membership too?" she asked them. "My family won a bunch. And I'm sitting on Miki so she will rest." "I'm fine!" Miki looked over at Yuu, but he was now heading over to a bowmachine. "But I have to..." "Rest," Ryoko said. "You're so red in the face, you almost look like you're bleeding." Miki gulped. "I just...I have to exercise! I have to!" She struggled, but Setsuna kept her pinned. Ryoko said, "I'll spot you, Meiko." "Thanks." Meiko tried to pull the handles and couldn't. "How much resistance did you put on this thing?" "A couple of hundred pounds," Miki said. "I think." Meiko got off, took a look, and boggled. She'd adjusted the resistance up for Miki when Miki had said it was too easy at first, but this...Miki didn't LOOK that strong. "Can you try this, Ryoko?" Ryoko got on and gave it a few pulls. She took a deep breath afterwards. "Hard, but not impossible." I guess Tennis really does build up your arms, Meiko thought. But...shouldn't they look stronger? "Well, let me back on, and adjust it down a lot lower. I've got a ways to go." Two people interrupted the routine part way through it. Fujisawa and Arimi walked in, a few seconds apart. Arimi waved, then made a beeline over to Yuu and Ginta, which made Setsuna fume. Fujisawa came over to Ryoko and Meiko. "Ahh, good healthy exercise, though not as good as mountain climbing. Got time this weekend, Momoi-san?" "Maybe," she said. Time to come down with the flu, she thought. She liked Fujisawa, but the man became a total lunatic when he got anywhere near mountains. "Did you come to work out?" "I got a free membership, so I thought I'd take advantage of the pool." He looked around. "Which this clearly isn't." "Can you spot Setsuna-chan so she doesn't have to sit and watch us?" "Sure." He turned to Setsuna. "Why are you sitting on that girl?" Setsuna looked down at Miki. "Do you feel better?" "Have to exercise...make Yuu pass out first." She shook her head to clear it. "I'm fine." Setsuna let her up. "Can you keep an eye for both of us?" "Sure." ************ Unheard except by a rat, three communicators began to beep unseen in the changing room lockers. ********** Youma Bowflex, who currently looked like a normal human male, if normal human males had arms thicker than their heads, watched the humans at work in the weight room with interest. He was garbed as a normal employee which enabled him to blend in easily. Three males and five women especially caught his attention. They all had unusual levels of energy and strange life force patterns, especially one of the men. There was something about him...time to consult with General Zwei- ite, he thought. Perhaps I've found one of the Nine Dooms. Or maybe that obnoxious Tennis Mask or the Masked Golfer or even...David Hasselhoff, idol of youma everywhere. He stepped out into the hallway and teleported to Zwei-ite's command center which was remarkably like a fairly simple one bedroom apartment. "General Zwei- ite!" General Zwei-ite was seated at a desk, going over a bunch of papers of some kind, which Youma Bowflex paid no mind to, as he hated paperwork. Spinning in the rotary chair, Zwei-ite said, "Yes?" "I believe I may have located one of the Nine Dooms and I've almost certainly located several beings of power, maybe even the Tennis Warriors. I can't believe they stumbled into our hands like this!" "I knew it would happen," Zwei-ite said. "The laws of drama dictate that hero and villain come into conflict, even if they try to avoid each other. We may struggle and flail, but we cannot escape these laws. If I carry out an evil plan, the laws of drama will force my enemies to confront me, giving me the chance I need to destroy them! Everything is ruled by the laws of drama! Everything. There is no escaping them." "But how do you know what the laws ARE?" "While Jinnai flailed about like an idiot, I carefully observed and studied his actions and those of the Tennis Warriors, and deduced them. Indeed, I believe I have found a loophole which I can use to exploit them. They will hand themselves into my power, when the time comes. But for now...take control of all of the exercising people there and use them to assist you in capturing the beings you saw." He handed a small crystal to Youma Bowflex. "And shoot this at the being you believe is the first Doom. If he or she is the first Doom, he will be transformed, and the first of Serenity's Rings will manifest itself." He nodded. "As you command, General!" He vanished in a flash of light. General Zwei-ite waited until Youma Bowflex was gone, then got up and started carrying out phase two of his plan. ************ Miki and Fujisawa were at work on two of the machines while Meiko and Ryoko spotted them respectively. Arimi had joined them and was hard at work lifting weights while Setsuna spotted her. Ginta was lifting now, and Setsuna was paying more attention to him than to Arimi, while Yuu spotted for him. Miki would have told Setsuna to stop except that she kept looking over at Ginta's body, glistening with sweat as well. Youma Bowflex, unnoticed by them, quietly walked in and took a bead on Fujisawa. Just as he fired a golden ray from the crystal at Fujisawa, who howled, sending Ryoko into a panic, the door flew open hard behind him, knocking him down. Two seconds later, Tennis Warrior Mercury trampled him. "IT'S A TRAP!" she shouted. From the hallway, a calmer male voice said, "We don't know for sure it's a trap. It could just be that the first Doom works here or something." Further away, a female voice said, "I don't care who you are, no one goes to the weight room without paying!" Several things happened at once. Fujisawa began to thrash around, glowing, and beginning to stretch in unpleasant ways. A small white gold ring erupted from his forehead, zooming over to Youma Bowflex. Youma Bowflex transformed into his combat form, which resembled a cross between a spider, a human, and an exercise machine. His upper torso remained that of a muscular human, but his lower body was replaced by a spider-like body made of exercise machine parts. He carried a huge silver bow and a quiver of arrows and dumbbells. And finally, everyone in the room that Miki didn't know and also Setsuna suddenly glazed over and said, "Trains...Trains..." Youma Bowflex shouted, "Capture them!" He pointed at Miki and her friends. Setsuna-zombie charged at Ginta, shouting, "GINTA!", unlike the others, who stuck to the chant of "Trains...Trains..." as they closed in on Miki and friends. Yuu took two seconds to assess the situation, then grabbed the bar off a barbell and cleared himself a path to Miki. He started fending off zombies as best he could. "Run, Miki! Get to the hallway! The Tennis Warrior can protect you!" Fujisawa finished transforming into Yamafuji, the first of the Nine Dooms, a ten foot tall, backpack wearing, blue skinned, six armed man, with a rope or pick or crampons in every hand, with more gear poking out of the backpack. He looked around, sniffing the air. Ryoko said, "Fujisawa-san?" "I MUST CLIMB!" Yamafuji announced, running over and beginning to scale the wall as Miki, Yuu, Ginta and Arimi desperately fended off the zombies. Ginta went down under the tide of zombies, since he was isolated. "GINTA!" Miki shouted. She charged through the horde, battering them aside with strength she didn't know she had. Luna said to Tennis Warrior Mercury, "Use your Game Called on Account of Rain power!" She turned to the unseen Makoto. "And you run to the locker room and get everyone's stuff!" "MUST...HAVE....MEMBERSHIP..." the woman in the hallway, once a secretary, but now a zombie, said as she charged Makoto, who ran. Youma Bowflex said to Yamafuji, "STOP CLIMBING THE WALLS AND CAPTURE THESE PEOPLE!" Yamafuji leaped down, tied up four zombies with one lasso, and then pulled out more rope. "Not the ZOMBIES! The humans!" "How do I do that?" Tennis Warrior Mercury asked, holding back three zombies with her racket, wielding it like a sword. "Bat a tennis ball over the crowd, then shout, "GAME CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF RAIN!" "Right." Meiko screamed as three zombies grabbed her and started to carry her away. "Na-chan! HELP!" It was instinctive. He wasn't there, and there was no way for him to hear her, she knew, but she couldn't help it. Miki turned, halfway between her and Ginta, with Yuu covering her back as best he could. "Meiko!" She was paralyzed by indecision, especially when Ginta screamed. Youma Bowflex levelled his bow at Tennis Warrior Mercury. "Drop your balls. My bow is faster than your racquet." She froze, a glowing tennis ball marked with her sign in her hand. Then she heard Makoto screaming from the hallway. "Makoto-chan..." she whispered. Luna cursed. This was turning into an utter, abject disaster. Some guardian cat I am, she thought. Then a barrage of tennis balls came from the second story window of the room. There was an observation deck with windows, and Tennis Mask, this time wearing a Dennis Rodman mask, stood in the window, holding his tennis ball cannon. The balls sent Yamafuji and Bowflex flying across the room, although they clearly weren't hurt much. "Do it now, Tennis Warrior Mercury! Then the rest of you had best get out while you can!" A ball arced into the air. "GAME CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF RAIN!" The upper story of the weightroom suddenly filled with clouds, which began to pour down a chill heavy rain. Ryoko slugged a zombie in the jaw, then grabbed Meiko from it, and everyone ran. They could all hardly see except for Tennis Warrior Mercury, whose pop-down LED readout visor also gave her perfect sight through it. Yuu had Ginta over his shoulder. He turned to Ryoko, "Let's get them to safety. Miki, Arimi, GET OUT OF HERE. We'll follow you as best we can." "I can't leave you here!" Miki said. "Yuu is right," Ryoko said. "We'll try to get them to my car. Maybe you two can see if Makoto needs help." She nodded down the hallway towards the changing room. "I'll save him!" Tennis Warrior Mercury said, turning to go. "You've got to hold the door shut until we all get far enough away," Luna said, then realized Yuu was standing right there. "Meow." "You talk in your sleep, you know," Yuu said to Luna, then grinned. "So is Artemis your boyfriend?" Luna blushed. "Just get them to safety!" Yuu and Ryoko started to take off, as did Miki, who then said, "SETSUNA! She's still in there!" "Go save Makoto," Tennis Warrior Mercury said. "I'll make sure Setsuna gets out okay." Somehow. Miki and Arimi took off down one hallway, while Yuu and Ryoko took off down another. *********** Meiko woke up around the same time as Yuu and Ryoko reached the lobby. "Wha...what happened?" "Monsters, monsters, everywhere," Yuu said. "Help Ryoko-sensei get Ginta to her car. I have to go help Tennis Warrior Mercury." He hefted the heavy iron bar he was holding over one shoulder like a rifle. "I doubt she'll be able to stop both Youma and all those zombies for long." "You can't fight them by yourself!" Ryoko said. "I'll go with you. Meiko, can you get Ginta out to my car?" They stared at each other in silence for a moment, then Meiko nodded. "I can try." Yuu pointed to the zombies in the parking lot. "You need to stick together. And only Ryoko knows how to drive out of all of us. You need to get your car going as our escape vehicle." He turned and began to run. "Now I remember why I stopped going to these clubs." *********** Miki and Arimi doubleteamed the unfortunate zombie attacking Makoto, each grabbing an arm and flinging it away. "Are you okay?" Arimi asked. "Nanami-chan...is she back there by herself?" He turned to run to her. "Yes, and we're not gonna let you commit suicide trying to save her," Arimi said, dragging him by his right arm. "You're gonna come help us get all the stuff we need to transform so WE can save her." He protested feebly, but was unable to resist them. ********* Tennis Warrior Mercury felt like the Greeks at Thermopylae. Bowflex and the army of zombies was forming up to charge her through the now diminishing rain. Yamafuji had given in to his climbing instincts and vanished up into the clouds in pursuit of Tennis Mask. "Any ideas, Luna?" Luna was typing hard at the Mercury computer. [Analyze best tactical options] >CALL IN TACTICAL AIR STRIKE [We don't HAVE any tactical air support] >PRAY TO THE KAMIS FOR A MIRACLE. Luna started praying. ********** Youma Bowflex set the zombies to charge, then teleported to General Zwei-ite, who he was surprised to find trying to pull Yamafuji off the wall of a racquetball court. "GET DOWN AND GO FIGHT THE TENNIS WARRIORS!" Zwei-ite bellowed. "But this is more fun!" "Sir, I have the first of Serenity's Rings!" He handed it to Zwei-ite, who smiled. "Excellent. Now take Yamafuji and destroy the Tennis Warriors while I take this to safety," Zwei-ite said. "Yes, sir!" He thought about it for a moment. "Yamafuji!" "What?" "Tennis Warrior Mercury has hidden two free tickets for a climbing tour in the Himalayas inside her costume!" Yamafuji jumped off the wall and ran over. "Take me to her!" Looks like the 'Weatherwax Correspondence Course in Headology' is going to pay off after all, Bowflex thought. ************ Mercury and Luna finally ran, praying the Tennis Warriors had gotten their pens and transformed. When they rounded the corner and ran into Bowflex and Yamafuji, they were less than pleased. "Not you again!" "GIVE ME THE TICKETS!" Yamafuji shouted, leaping at Mercury, who hit the deck. He flew over her and crashed into the zombies, scattering them. Mercury looked up, only to see Bowflex a few feet away, his bow levelled at her head. "There's no one to save you this time!" "I guess that makes me no one!" a voice shouted as a golfball flew through the air into the arrow, shattering it. Bowflex looked up and saw the Masked Golfer far down the hallway. "You and me, Bowflex! One on one!" Arrows and golf balls began erupting across the hallway, every shot parrying the other person's shot while Mercury slowly crawled under Bowflex. She stood up behind him right as Yamafuji stood up and leaped at her. He got hit with arrows and golfballs, then crashed into Bowflex, who was in the way. Mercury buffed her nails. "Good job, Golfer!" Mars and Moon came running down the hallway, "Hey, it's over!" Moon said. Yamafuji and Bowflex managed to stagger to their feet, as did the few zombies not knocked out by Yamafuji landing on them. "It's never over!" "All I wanted to do was to go exercise with my friends and win a bet with an idiot, but you had to wreck EVERYTHING! Health clubs aren't for turning people into zombies and monsters! I am the Lovely Tennis Warrior Moon and in the name of the Moon, I WILL PUNISH YOU!" Everyone stood and watched while Tennis Warrior Moon posed and made her speech. Youma Bowflex held up a 7.5, Yamafuji gave her a 7.7, Mars gave her a 6, the Masked Golfer gave her a 9.1, and the zombies were still trying to write on their signs when the scoring period ended. Moon frowned at Mars, then shouted, "MOON SLAM!" "Burning Passion SERVE!" Two glowing balls of energy slammed into Youma Bowflex, who shouted, "FLEX ME!" and crumbled into a pile of exercise machine parts. The zombies all collapsed, turning back to normal. Unfortunately, Yamafuji was unaffected. He grabbed Mercury and started trying to reach down her shirt in search of the tickets he thought he would find. "YOUMA NO ECCHI!" she shouted, trying desperately to fend it off, but since it had six arms, this wasn't really an option. "You have to turn it back to normal, Moon!" Luna shouted. "But how?" Moon asked. "Umm..." Luna tinysweated and tried to remember. "Beat it up while I think." Yamafuji was powerful, but with three Tennis Warriors plus a Masked Golfer beating on it, it was outmatched. Soon, they drove it down the hallway and trapped it in the dead end. Then Luna finally remembered. "You've got to use the Moon De-Evilizer!" "But I don't have one!" "Lemme guess, you left it at home," Mars said. "No one ever gave me one!" Moon said. Luna tinysweated. "Oh, I meant to give it to you this evening." She leaped into the air and shouted, "Luna Magic!" As she did her backflip, a device that looked like a heavy duty flashlight that had been attacked by a Glitterator appeared. It had nine crescent moons painted on it, along with billions of tiny sparkly dots, somewhat like stars all over it, and the words "Evilizer Mark III" were embossed on it. Someone had added "De-" to it before the word "Evilizer" in blue crayon. "Point it at him, flip the on-switch, and shout, 'MOON HEALING ESCALATOR!'" Moon took the device and said, "Escalator?" "Oh wait, that's the command phrase for the Moon Bacte Tank. Shout, 'Moon Sexual Healing!'" Moon blushed. "I can't shout that! That's...embarrassing." "Umm...How about...Make Money Fast?" Moon decided to just go with her instincts. She ran over, pressed the on button, trained the 'De-Evilizer' on Yamafuji, and shouted, "MOON HEALING RAY!" It was a bit literal, but effective. Yamafuji shrank and reverted to his normal (okay not so normal) identity, Masamichi Fujisawa. He then quietly slumped over and passed out. Mercury gave a great sigh. "And that's that." Mars took a look at the 'De-Evilizer'. "Why is the 'De-' part written in crayon, Luna?" "I took an Evilizer and reverse engineered it to turn people good." Mars blinked. "That's not what reverse engineering means." "Don't argue with success; that's my motto," Luna said. "We'd better make sure Meiko and Ryoko and Yuu and Ginta are okay," Moon said. "Hey, Masked Golfer, did you see..." Mars began, then blinked. "He's gone again!" Makoto stuck his head out of the changing room door. "Is the fight over?" "It's over," Mercury said. She consulted her computer, which cooperated for once, then cursed. "Dammit. Bowflex gave General Zwei-ite the first ring! And my computer can't find him. We blew it." "We saved everyone and kept Fujisawa-sensei from becoming one of Beryl's monsters," Moon said. "We'll do better next time. He just caught us off guard. I'm gonna find Setsuna-chan and make sure she's okay." "We'll go check on everyone else," Mars said. "I'm sure Ginta will be wondering what happened to me." She walked off, leaving Moon to fume. *********** Miwa looked around the parking lot of the Five Rings. "What a mess. I told you we needed to get going faster. You could have finished your letter to the editor later." "I would have lost my train of thought," Suzu said. I doubt most of your trains of thought get out of the station, Artemis thought. "He's right, Suzu. I can sense one of Serenity's Rings was here, but it's gone now." He looked over at Miwa. Miwa said, "Well, Meiko's out of danger. I can tell that." I should have just come without her, even if she's a better fighter than me, he thought. "Well, Sana got away with this, but NEXT time, we'll crush her." Suzu said. While Miwa could indeed imagine Sana as a Dark Kingdom General, he hoped Beryl had more sense than to recruit her. *********** "Are you sure you're okay?" Yuu asked as he and Miki walked up the street to their house. Luna tagged along behind, hoping Yuu had forgotten about how she had talked in front of him earlier. "I'm fine. I didn't even get to see the rest of the Tennis Warriors," Miki said. "Are you sure you're okay?" "I'm fine. Dissappointed I didn't get to see you pass out, though. I guess we can settle the bet, later. I'd almost think you planned this just to get out of it." His tone was light, but he sounded distracted, as if he was making jokes on autopilot. "Yuu, something's on your mind," Miki said. When he walked into the gate and fell down, she was certain of it. He looked up at her from the grass, then over at Luna, then back at Miki. "So, are you one of the Tennis Warriors, or do you just keep Luna fed for them?" "I'm not..." she began, then said, "I'm Tennis Warrior Moon, Yuu. Luna is my advisor and friend. How did you...oh." Luna sighed. "I botched this up. Although I'm sure Artemis is probably just going around talking in public all the time since he has no brain." "You're not angry with me, are you, Yuu?" Miki asked quietly. "We all have secrets," he said, standing up. "I started to suspect something was up the first time I heard Luna talk in her sleep, but I wasn't sure until today. But I don't blame you for not telling anyone. A told secret tends to become public knowledge pretty quickly. That's why I don't ever tell anyone mine. And I promise I won't tell yours." "Thanks," Miki said. "We'd best start muzzling Luna when she's asleep, though," Yuu said. "Maybe she could conjure up the Moon Muzzle." Luna chased him into the house while Miki laughed and followed them. ************** "Are you sure you're fine?" Namura-sensei asked Meiko during another one of their early morning meetings at the library. "Well, I have a few bruises from the zombies, but they're healing fast," Meiko said. "Ryoko-sensei told me that Tennis Mask and Tennis Warrior Mercury saved us. I got knocked out and slept through most of it." Her voice was a little tense. "Na-chan..." "Hmm?" "Nothing." She couldn't quite bring herself to ask, for that would mean doubting him, and she didn't want to. "Do you think the Tennis team will beat Tomobiki next week?" "We'll be lucky to survive playing them, but yes. They usually lose, but the winning team is usually in no shape to play for a month. We'll have to come up with some kind of plan to deal with that." He stared off thoughtfully at a shelf of books. "I don't understand." "They have a tendency to start riots by attacking each other." "..." "So I'm not sure if you should come. It could be dangerous." "But I want to see Miki and Ginta and Setsuna win!" "I'll see what I can do to make sure you'll be safe then." You'll be there, and that means I'll be safe, she thought. With Tennis Mask watching over me. I just wish you'd tell me so I didn't have to pretend I didn't know. ************* Anju Kitahara slammed her racquet down and the little white ball bounced off it at an angle, flying just over the little net on the green table she stood by, bounced off the table, and flew over the shoulder of the red haired boy she was playing against. Anju herself rather resembled Noa Izumi with violet hair. "Sorry, Suka-chan. I win again." He sighed. "You're disgustingly good at table tennis, you know. How did you ever talk me into playing against you?" "It beat dealing with Shinobu-sempai, ne?" She laughed. He leaned against the wall. "You've got that right. And I think he's been putting up Shun to whisper in my ear at night, trying to brainwash me. I go to school with the biggest set of lunatics on Earth," he said. "Does one of them have long white hair and wear a tennis uniform?" Anju asked, as she noticed such a person standing on the roof of her neighbor's house. Then she realized it was a woman, and concluded it was unlikely, since Hasukawa went to an all male school. "Not that I remember." Hasukawa turned and looked, but the woman was gone, so he saw nothing. "I don't see anything." Anju sighed. "My health is bad enough, I hope I'm not starting to hallucinate things." He came over. "Are you okay? I didn't wear you out too much with this, did I?" She shook her head. "I can't take the stress of the real thing, but I can handle this. I'll be fine. I just...Well, maybe I'd better lie down." "Should I call my brother?" "No. Let's just go watch some TV, okay? Or something not too tiring." He nodded and they went inside. ************* Tennis Warrior Pluto sat on a rooftop a few houses away. Dare I do it, she wondered. It is not yet time for her to awaken, and yet...I will need help. Someone who is not bound by destiny at this time. The moment of my salvation or damnation draws ever closer, and I cannot do this alone. As she sat, deep in thought, she failed to notice that the tiles she was on were coming loose. When she suddenly slid off the roof and plunged into the backyard pool on the other hand, she had no choice but to notice it.