[Breakfast time at the Tendo house. Nabiki and Ryouga are eating with Ryouga's parents] Nabiki: I have no idea where everyone went. There's not even a note. I guess I'll call the Saotomes once we eat. Ryouga: They probably went on a training trip. Ken: Without telling anyone? Akane: [from the doorway, flatly] Daddy is at the Saotomes. Ranma and I went to China with Ukyou and Shinnosuke and Hitomi. Kasumi is in America. [looks at Ken and Ryoko] I take it these are Ryouga's parents? Ryouga: Hi, Akane! [smiles at her] Yeah, this my dad, Ken Hibiki and this is my mom, Ryoko Hibiki. Akane: [flatly] Nice to meet you. I'm on my way to the Saotomes. I'll tell Dad you're here. Best to do all the killings at once. Nabiki: ? Ryouga: What? [Akane leaves] Ken: Is she always like this in the morning? Nabiki: Usually not this bad. I guess her trip didn't go well. Ryoko: Well, I hope she feels better when it's time for us to meet your father. Nabiki: I wish Kasumi was here. She knows how to draw Akane out of a funk. [sighs] Ryouga: She's probably cooking breakfast in America right now. Nabiki: Not unless they slept really late. It's sometime in the afternoon in Texas, I think. Yesterday afternoon. [shakes her head] I can't believe you people aren't jetlagged. Ken: Well, if you can shift time zones in seconds, you get used to it. *************** Furinkan Summer #12 "Will Akane kill Ryouga? The Olsen Twins must die!" By John Biles "Summer Fields"--The FS Theme. My anger hides a loving heart; My anger drives us far apart. Only your love can heal the pain, For it's your smile that brings the rain That helps love's fields to grow. Walk with me through summer's field So we can help our hearts to heal. Stride through the grass and smell the air Under the sun without a care. I want to walk with you. We hid our love behind our pride, Never letting others inside. To end those lies must be our task; Tear down the walls; Throw out the masks We used to hide from love. Walk with me through summer's field So we can help our hearts to heal. Stride through the grass and smell the air Under the sun without a care. I want to walk with you. Love does not end with "I Love You", Not if what the things we said were true. We have to strive to make it grow. We have to let our feelings show Else love will fade like dew. *************** [Akane arrives at the Saotome household just as Grandma Tanuki is lecturing Ranma on proper breakfast etiquette. Nodoka looks embarrassed, Soun is trying to look dignified, Genma is starting to fall asleep, Grandpa Tanuki is eating quietly, and Ranma looks very embarrassed.] Akane: Bad morning. Grandma Tanuki: That should be 'Good Morning'. Akane: [coldly] Only if it is a good morning. This morning stinks. [turns to her father] Daddy, time for you to stop leeching off the Saotomes and come home before I drag you home by your moustache. Soun: ... Ranma: ... Nodoka: ... Genma: [sagely] That would hurt. Grandpa Tanuki: I'm very disappointed in you, Soun, keeping such a vulgar mistress. Soun: She is my DAUGHTER! Grandma Tanuki: Then she should be polite and respectful. Akane: [turns to Grandma Tanuki] Shut the hell up. Grandma Tanuki: ... Genma: Whoo! Sock it to her! [Nodoka puts a hand over his mouth] Ranma: Ummm...These are my grandparents, Akane. Um, Grandpa, Grandma, this is my fiancee, Tendo Akane. Grandma Tanuki: I'll burn in hell before I let you marry this rude girl, grandson. Akane: [grabs Soun] Come on. NOW. [turns to Grandma Tanuki] I suggest you buy abestos underwear, then. [drags Soun off as he protests in a futile way] Grandma Tanuki: I will not stand for this! Ranma: [gets up and runs after her] Akane! Grandma Tanuki: Do you hear me? I will NOT tolerate this! Grandpa Tanuki: This doesn't always happen at breakfast, does it, Nodoka-chan? Nodoka: I hope not. ************** [Ranma catches up with Akane at the front door] Ranma: That wasn't a good way to make a good impression on my grandparents. Akane: [flatly] The damn pig-boy and my damn sister are back. It's time to settle this. [keeps walking, dragging Soun, who is begging to be let go or at least to get an explanation] Shut UP, Daddy. You have no right to talk. Soun: I'm your FATHER! Akane: You sure don't act like one. Ranma: Are you sure we can't... Akane: YES! I need to settle this now! [slams Soun into the ground for emphasis. He yelps] Ranma: My grandparents are gonna... Akane: I couldn't give a flying... [takes a deep breath] I have to settle this, Ranma. Now. Can't you understand this? Ranma: You really, really offended Grandma, and from the stories Dad tells, once you get on her bad list, it's virtually impossible to get off it. Akane: I'll bake Ryouga in a pie and feed him to her as a peace offering. I have to do this now, before I simply start killing people, Ranma. Ranma: [nervously] Killing people? Akane: It took all my willpower to not take a butcher knife from the kitchen and castrate Ryouga. Ranma: [steps back a step] ... Soun: But...what did he do? Akane: Don't act like you don't know, daddy. Everyone but me goddamn knew. Soun: Knew what? Akane: AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! [raises Soun to crush him into the ground, but Ranma stops her] I have to kill him! NOW! Ranma: [shakes his head] Akane, until you calm down, this is NOT a good idea. Akane: I don't want to be calm! Ranma: I can't let you kill your father. [pauses] Maybe if you wanted to kill mine, but Mr. Tendo is not a bad guy. Akane: He knew about how Ryouga crawled into my bed! Soun: I just assumed you two were having a discreet fling before your marriage to Ranma, the way he and Shampoo did. Ranma: ... Akane: YOU HAD A FLING WITH SHAMPOO? Soun: [sounds mildly hysterical] And Ukyou, of course. I mean, how could you have all these women after you and not take advantage of it? Ranma: [shouts at Soun] I DID NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM! [takes a deep breath] Come on, Akane. You've gotta wait until you calm down. Akane: I AM NOT GOING TO WAIT! IF I WAIT, I'LL LOSE MY CHANCE TO KILL RYOUGA IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS! Soun: [hysterical] What, first you have an affair with him, then kill him in front of his parents? Are you mad he dumped you for Nabiki? Ranma: I think it would be best you not try to talk your way out of this, Mr. Tendo. Akane: HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AND YOU KNEW ABOUT IT! [rips the front door off its hinges and swings it at Soun. Ranma blocks it] LET ME AT HIM! Ranma: [wrenches the door away, a little irritated] Akane, we don't have the money to fix this. Akane: YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU WRECKED MY HOUSE THOSE TIMES! DAMN YOU, RANMA! YOU'RE ON HIS SIDE! Ranma: [more irritated] Because I won't let you murder your father? Damn it, Akane, you're acting like a total psychopath! Akane: Damn it, Ranma, you're acting like I'm the bad person! I'm not the one who knew someone was sneaking into my bed and didn't stop it! Like you did! Ranma: [growls] I didn't have a choice! And it still doesn't justify beating the hell out of your own father! Akane: Fine! I'll just kill Ryouga instead! [takes off running] Ranma: Great. Mr. Tendo, tell Mom about the door, okay? Soun: [quietly] Okay. ***************** [We see Ryouga and Nabiki and Ken and Ryoko in the Tendo family living room, watching the morning news] Newscaster: The reindeer eluded three F-16s sent to investigate it, heading for the North Pole. The F-16s made a final transmission, which has been classified and vanished. Satellite pictures show no further sign of the reindeer. The investigation continues. Ken: Just like great-grandpa Taiki in the 1920s in the Arctic. Nabiki: He vanished chasing a supersonic reindeer? Ken: His plane vanished without a trace. The last transmission was something about a castle. They never found a body or a wreck. Ryouga: When's Akane gonna get here? Akane: [emerges from the kitchen with a bucket of water] I'm right here. [tosses the water on him. He transforms into a pig] Ken: ... Ryoko: Well, that's new. Is this some teen fad? Nabiki: Shit. Ryouga: Bwee! Akane: [pulls out a butcher knife and looks seriously disturbed] Looks like I'm gonna have pork for lunch. Nabiki: [springs to her feet] Akane! [Akane begins chasing P-chan around the living room, laughing maniacally as she does so] Ken: That is our son, right? Ryoko: You miss so much when they grow up. Do something, dear. Ken: [charges towards Akane, who casually backhands him with the hand that doesn't hold the knife. He flies through the wall] Ack! Nabiki: [tries to keep out of Akane's way] You can't kill my boyfriend! Akane: I never knew you were into bestiality, Nabiki. Nabiki: Dammit, he can't help it! Akane: He COULD HAVE HELPED CRAWLING INTO MY BED!!!! [traps Ryouga in the corner] YOU GODDAMN BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU USE ME LIKE THAT! [waves her knife at him] TELL ME! Nabiki: [walks somewhat closer] He can't even defend himself as a pig, Akane. Are you going to just murder him? Akane: Shut up! You're not my sister! You would have told me if you were REALLY my sister! Damn you! Nabiki: [coldly] I only found out when I tried to help YOU and your boyfriend have a date in peace. By then it was too late to do any good. He stopped doing it after that. Akane: How can you date this BASTARD? WHEN YOU KNOW HOW HE CRAWLED INTO MY BED AS A PIG! Ryoko: So you slept with your pet pig? [makes a face] Akane: I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH MY PET PIG! I JUST LET HIM SLEEP IN MY BED BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST AN ANIMAL! [P-chan slips past her and leaps into Nabiki's arms, cowering against her chest] Ken: [comes back in through the hole] Put down the knife. Akane: [turns and punts him through the roof into orbit] SHUT UP! I NEED THIS KNIFE! Nabiki: I'm not going to let you kill Ryouga! Akane: The only reason I'm not gonna stab you is that you only love him because of that goddamn potion! Your love isn't even real! Ryoko: Potion? Is this a witch house? Nabiki: I suggest you run, Ryoko. Just in case. Ryoko: I can't leave my son. Akane: Your goddamn son is a lying bastard! Did you teach him to be a lying, cheating bastard or did his father do that? Ryoko: [frowns] My son is NOT a lying, cheating bastard. Nabiki: [thinking] Where the hell is Ranma? I can't stop her if she actually attacks Ryouga. *************** [We see Ranma, who is brawling with Kunou in the street near the Saotome house] Ranma: Dammit, I don't have time for this! Kunou: You heard the lady! She wished for you to die! Ranma: [dodges a powerful swing and sweeps Kunou's feet, leaping over him] I don't have time for this. Kunou: [springs back to his feet and takes a blow at Ranma. The wind from the blow knocks Ranma down] Ranma: I admit I'm impressed. [springs to his feet] But I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! [leaps at Kunou in a blur of attacks. He pummels Kunou over and over, but takes a beating in the process. Kunou collapses, but Ranma looks battered] Not bad. He's been practicing. [sighs] At least I know the way to the dojo really well. ************* [Back at the dojo] Nabiki: If you kill him, you're going to have to kill me. [holds P-chan tightly to her chest] Won't you at least let him try to defend himself? Akane: Fine. [turns to Ryoko] Get some hot water. Ryoko: [brings hot water] And? Akane: Throw it on them. [Nabiki and P-chan get drenched. He reverts to normal] Ryouga: Akane! I'm sorry! I can explain! Akane: You have five minutes. Then I'm turning you back into a pig and feeding you to Ranma for dinner. Ryouga: [gulps] I tried to stop...I just...I loved you, and I couldn't stop myself...you'd smile at me, and hug me and... Akane: [flatly] You're going to have to do better than that. Ryouga: [crying] I tried to stop, but I was so desperate, I just wanted someone to love me, I tried to not look at you naked, but you wouldn't let me run and... [starts to babble] Akane: Then why didn't you tell me? Ryouga: I was afraid you'd hate me! Akane: Too late. I will NEVER let you be my brother-in-law. Nabiki: [frowns] Oh, you can marry thug-boy who levels our house three times a day, who has no job, no future, and no skills, but I can't marry the man I love? Akane: You only love him because of #$#@#$@#$# love magic! Your love is a LIE! Just like Ryouga is! He probably meant to use it on ME! Ryouga: No! I'd never try to make you love me with magic! Akane: LIAR! [picks up the couch] You're nothing but a liar! Just like my sister! She lies all the time to get money! You two are PERFECT for each other! Nabiki: [growls] If I didn't run my schemes, this family would be BANKRUPT! I supply ninety-five percent of this family's income! I've done it for four years! And I never made any of you go hungry, even though you're all NOTHING BUT PARASITES! Especially your WORTHLESS BUM OF A BOYFRIEND AND HIS FATHER, THE THIEVING, LYING FATSO! [starts to advance on Akane] Anything Ryouga might have done is NOTHING compared to what those two morons have done to us! I had to spend the college funds that Grandpa left us just to keep this house from being riddled with holes! I had to play the stock market to build up the funds that are going to pay for YOU to go to college! [now shouting in Akane's face] I've done everything short of prostitution so that you and your stupid boyfriend and his girlfriends and his big fat father and your stupid would be lovers and all the enemies all you $*#(*$@#$O#U$(# idiots could lay waste to our home EVERY DAY FOR TWO YEARS and NOT put us in the poorhouse! Damn you, Akane, what have you ever done for this family except bring us trouble? Akane: Hey, I have a right to live here! It's my house too! And I never wanted the house to get wrecked! Nabiki: BECAUSE YOU HAD YOUR HEAD TOO FAR UP YOUR ASS TO ADMIT YOU LOVED RANMA, THIS DRAGGED OUT FOR TWO #)*$(#*$(#*$(#!@%$#$ YEARS! [pauses for breath] This is ALL your fault. You're irresponsible, you can't cook, you don't do ANY chores because you're incompetent at all of them, you're completely worthless! I respect Kasumi because she works hard and she's given up her dreams for us! But all you do is TAKE and you NEVER GIVE! AND IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA LISTEN TO YOU WHINE ABOUT YOU SHOULD HAVE #*$&#($*#(* FIGURED OUT YOURSELF, I'M GONNA THROW YOU OUT! Akane: You can't throw me out! Nabiki: [flatly] If I stop paying the bills, this entire family will be out in the gutter eating worms in two weeks. Except for Kasumi, who I'll take with me to Vegas if she wants to go. Akane: FINE! I'll go live with Ranma! [storms out the door] Nabiki: [shouts after her] If you ever come back, I'll have the police arrest you, you violent uncute bitch!!! Ryoko: [quietly to Ryouga] This doesn't happen often, does it? Ryouga: [to his mom] Not with them. Nabiki: [plops down on the couch, which is now upside down where Akane dropped it] Damn you, Akane. [begins to cry] Damn you. Ryouga: [goes to hug her] Don't cry, Nabiki. Nabiki: [snaps at him] This is YOUR fault! Why the hell did you keep crawling into her bed? Ryouga: I just...I couldn't stop. Nabiki: You sound like a goddamn drug addict! Ryouga: [confused, and starting to get hysterical] I never asked her to take me to bed with you! I mean with her! I mean... Nabiki: Go find where your...oh dammit, I can't send you out or I might not see you for weeks. [gets up] Let's go find your father, and then I'm going to go chain you people up while I go cry in peace. Ryoko: [blinks] Chain us up? Nabiki: [sourly] So you idiots don't get lost. Since you can't be trusted to not get lost if you leave my sight. Ryouga: Mom is not an idiot! Nabiki: Fine. Whatever. I'm going to my room. Go find your dad and end up in Hoboken. See if I care. [storms off] Ryoko: Go to her, Ryouga. Ryouga: But what if I... Ryoko: When it's really important, you won't get lost. Ryouga: What about the... Ryoko: [flares up] GO TO HER BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF! [sighs] I'll go find your father. [looks around] As long as he didn't get lost in mid-air... *********** [We see Ken Hibiki on the back of the supersonic reindeer, cruising over a mountain range that might be the one that runs the length of Honshu (the main island of Japan)] Ken: Whoa! Whoa, Nellie! [It keeps going] Ken: Don't we get blankets on this flight? **************** [We see Akane run up to the Saotome house just as Genma gets tossed out a second story window. Ranma is perched on top of a pile of luggage, while Nodoka sits on a chair, looking depressed. Soun is pounding on the door.] Soun: I dropped my handkerchief! I need it! Akane: [catches Genma] What happened? Ranma: [sighs] Grandma and Pop had a fight, then Grandma excommunicated us. Akane: Isn't this YOUR house? Nodoka: Actually, my parents own it. I had to sell our old house because my husband left me with no means of support. [glares at Genma] Genma: Hey, your parents said they'd take care of you! They did, didn't they? Nodoka: [blinks] What, you discussed it with them before you left? Genma: Hey, I would NOT leave my wife to starve. They swore they'd take care of you until I got back. You're my wife, and I wouldn't let you die. Nodoka: [suspiciously] They never told me that. They acted surprised. Genma: They were rather enthusiastic about the trip, really. [pauses] I think they hoped I would die. Akane: ... Ranma: Geez, Mom, did they do this everytime they had a fight with you when you were a kid? Nodoka: I never got kicked out. Soun: You can't throw me out of my own home! [keeps banging] Ranma: This is OUR home, Mr. Tendo. Soun: Oh, well, we can go live at my place again. Akane: Nabiki threw me out of the house. Soun: [flatly] Oh, really. We'll see about that. ***************** [We see the Saotomes and Akane sitting in the Tendo Living Room. Soun emerges from the kitchen, looking embarrassed] Soun: Umm.... Akane: Well? Soun: Well, Nabiki has decided it would be immoral to cast her own sister out into the street before she can support herself. Ranma: See, I told you it would be better once she calmed down. Soun: However, if she ever sees Genma or Ranma ever again, she's going to call the police and tell them you're thieves. Mrs. Saotome can stay if she likes. Genma: ... Ranma: Hey, I didn't do nothing to her! Nodoka: I can't stay if my husband cannot. Soun: Or you can repay her the 10 million yen you owe her for house damages. Ranma: ... Nodoka: [big eyes] 10 MILLION? Soun: I talked her down from 100 million. She was exaggerating. You could level this house and rebuild it for less than that. Ranma: [sighs] Maybe Ukyou can put us up until Pop finds a job. [pauses] Maybe that bear finally moved out of that one cave... Akane: You're in charge, Pop! Tell her she can't do this! Soun: [weakly] I did the best I could. She won't try to sell you into slavery any more, and she isn't demanding I press criminal charges against anyone. Ryouga calmed her down some. And he insisted she not throw you out. Akane: ... Ranma: [mutters] Never thought I'd be grateful to Ryouga. Nodoka: [sounds like her mother] What an ungrateful child. Bossing her own father around. Soun: [sighs] It was the best I could do. Even with Hibiki-san and Ryouga helping me. Akane: [turns to Ranma] I'll go with you, Ranma. [angrily] I don't want her 'mercy'. Ranma: [shakes his head] I don't know what's gonna happen to us, and I don't wanna see you starve, Akane. I'm sure we won't go too far. Maybe Grandma and Grandpa Saotome can loan us some money. Genma: Your mother drove them off. They're hiding from her parents. Nodoka: [sighs] Now I know why you don't use Beezelbub to cast out Satan. They're not bad people, but they're getting old and they're just... Genma: Prigs. Nodoka: ...conservative. They'll calm down in a few days. I think I have enough money for us to stay in a hotel. Genma: [pulls out a golden candle holder] We can sell this. Mom gave it to me before she left. Nodoka: [looks at it] This looks like...this IS one of my gold candle holders! Genma: No wonder it looked familiar. **************** [We see Kasumi lounging out on the back porch of the Feeple house with Ichi and Susan. Asrial is up on the roof and Jeremy and Ricky are playing frisbee out in the backyard.] Kasumi: I wish I could stay longer. Ichi: Feel free to stay all summer. Kasumi: [longingly] If only I could. Susan: Yeah, stay! It would be great! Ichi: Hey, Jeremy! Jeremy: [turns to her] Eh? Ichi: You think your mom would mind if Kasumi stayed longer? Jeremy: I don't see why not. Are we still gonna take her to Sixth Street tonight? Kasumi: Sixth Street? Ichi: [big, dreamy eyes] It's this GREAT street full of clubs! Susan: Pulsing bodies throbbing to the beat. Heaven on Earth. [pauses] Well, maybe not exactly Heaven. I don't reme...um, anyway. Kasumi: Oh my. Ricky: THROW THE FRISBEE ALREADY!!! Jeremy: [tosses it to Ricky, then turns back] Even though Phrank is coming, I think you'll enjoy it. Ricky: [catches it] Okay, I'm gonna throw it to you, Jeremy. Kasumi: Well, dancing is kinda nice. It's been such a long time. Susan: You'll love it! I bet you'll meet a nice guy and then you won't WANT to leave. Kasumi: [blushes] There's this guy at home. Umm... Ichi: [sits up] Doctor Tofu? Jeremy: Wow, a doctor. Ricky: I'm gonna throw the frisbee now! Jeremy! Kasumi: I just...I don't know how to get him to make the first move. Ichi: Just sweep him off his feet! Kasumi: He sort of goes to pieces around me. Jeremy: [glances at Ichi and Asrial] Some guys get nervous around women. That's why you need to go after him. Kasumi: Really, REALLY nervous. Ricky: INCOMING! [hurls the frisbee, which knocks Jeremy out] Ichi: RICKY! Ricky: Hey, I gave fair warning. Ichi: [whips out a sword. Don't ask me where she hid it when she was wearing a bikini for sunbathing] I'm going to kill you! There's your fair warning! [They sprint off into the distance] Kasumi: Oh my. Jeremy's Mom: [comes out on the porch] Phone for you, Kasumi. Kasumi: [blinks] For me? Jeremy's Mom: It's your dad. Kasumi: [on the phone] Hello? Soun: [on the phone] Is this Kasumi? Kasumi: Hi, Daddy. Soun: Can you come home? World War III just started. It's the Mongols vs. Julius Caesar all over again. Kasumi: [sighs] I don't think I can get a flight before my scheduled one three days from now. Soun: [acks] But...but... Kasumi: Daddy, I don't have an extra four hundred dollars for a ticket. What's wrong? Did Akane and Ranma have a fight? Soun: [starts going into hysterics] Kasumi: [sighs] I'll see what I can do, okay, Daddy? [She spends a while soothing him, then hangs up] Jeremy's Mom: Family Crisis? Kasumi: Daddy was right. It is World War III. I never should have left. [sighs] You've all been so kind to me. I never realized how badly I needed a vacation. Susan: [sadly] But we don't want you to go! Ichi: [who has come back] Yeah. It's like having a big sister who isn't a potential rival to my control of my family ninja clan, so I don't have to fight with you like I do with Hitomi. [pauses] I didn't REALLY say that. Asrial: [from the roof] Well, I can drive you home tomorrow if you need to go. But tonight, we're gonna party like it's 1999. [pauses] Which it is, on Gammalon Beta. In fact, it always is, because the system is locked in a time loop. Kasumi: I could use a good party before I go and try to negotiate a peace treaty. Asrial: [looks at Kasumi and smiles] Hmm. I may have a surprise for you. ************* [We see Shinnosuke and Hitomi at Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. Hitomi is waitressing while Shinnosuke cleans up. He pauses to talk to Ukyou] Shinnosuke: Are you sure this isn't a problem for you? Ukyou: Not as long as you help out. I can serve a lot more people with a waiter and waitress so I can focus on cooking, which is the good stuff. [smiles] And I always have plenty of food for guests. Shinnosuke: [sighs] I'm sorry I blabbed about you kissing me. Ukyou: [laughs a little] Well, no one got hurt too much. I'm not ashamed that I kissed you, it just came up at a bad time. Hayao [For those who missed earlier episodes, this is Tsubasa disguised as a boy. :)]: [from the doorway] Hey, Ukyou-san! [runs over] How was your trip? Ukyou: It was...I'd have been better off staying and going on that date with you, Hayao. It was a complete disaster. Hitomi: [loudly] Except for you and Shinnosuke smooching! From the way Shinnosuke can't shut up about that, that must have been something good! Ukyou: [blushes] Shinnosuke: Hitomi! [waves his broom at her] I should spank you! Hayao: [crushed] You...kissed...[pauses] You kissed who? Shinnosuke: Well, I'd never been kissed, so she felt sorry for me and kissed me. Hayao: Hey, I've never been kissed and no one ever kisses me! Ukyou: [leans over and kisses his cheek] There you go. [thinking] Urg. There I go again. Why am I doing this? Hayao: [eyes widen] UKYOU-SAMA KISSED ME! [faints] Shinnosuke: Want me to sweep him up? Ukyou: He fainted? [thinks] That sounded so familiar. Hitomi: Better stop using the poison lipstick. Did you faint when she kissed you, Shinnosuke? Shinnosuke: I wanted to faint, but I couldn't remember how. Hitomi: ... Ukyou: You...wanted to faint? Shinnosuke: [absently] It was really exciting. I mean..I got a kiss on the lips, and I didn't pass out. [looks at Hayao] Is it normal to pass out after a girl kisses you? Ukyou: [laughs gently] Only if it's really good. Shinnosuke: Well, if the kiss I got from you wasn't good enough to knock me out, then I can't imagine how one could be good enough. [looks down at Hayao] So it must be that I can't remember how to faint. Ukyou: [faintly] It was that good? Shinnosuke: Yeah. It's one thing I haven't forgotten. Ukyou: [trembles, thinking] I feel so nervous. He...he liked it. More than Ranma. He didn't shake or talk about it or remember it when he forgets everything else. Of course, Ranchan doesn't forget things, but...No. I can't just throw myself at the first guy who comes along after Ranchan. [grabs her own arms, thinking] But if I wait, then there might not be another guy. Well, Hayao does like me, but I think I like Shinnosuke better, but...But Shinnosuke loves Akane. He's just like this because he doesn't know anything about women. Not that I know much about men or... Shinnosuke: Are you okay, Ukyou? Are you cold? You're shivering. [puts a hand on her shoulder] Do you need a blanket? [She faints from tension, falling over on top of Hayao] Shinnosuke: [looks at his hand] It looks normal. Hitomi: Nothing about you is very normal. ************** [We see Ukyou lying in her bed. Hitomi is nearby, sitting on a stool] Ukyou: [stirs] But Mom, I can't stuff that many beans up my nose! [wakes up all the way] Hey, how'd I get up here? Hitomi: I carried you. [flexes] I'm stronger than I look. Ukyou: [thinks a moment] The last thing I remember was that I...did I kiss Hayao? Hitomi: Do you kiss every guy you meet? Ukyou: [frowns] No! Hitomi: Just the ones I've also met. Ukyou: I've only kissed three guys! Hitomi: Do you normally do it when one of the others is watching? Ukyou: Why are you so bent out of shape over this? [gets out of bed] Hitomi: Because I don't want someone to hurt my cousin. I think he has a crush on you. Ukyou: He's in love with Akane. Hitomi: You didn't see how worried he was about you after you fainted. He thought it was his fault. I had to force him to go down and work or he'd be here still grovelling. [sighs] Okay, not grovelling, but... Ukyou: [fainter] He can't really like me. Hitomi: Even though he may never consciously remember that Akane has told him she loves Ranma, or that he's told her he loves her, he knows. He's capable of moving on. [pauses] Don't give him the excuse of forgetting you. [leaves] Ukyou: ... ********* [We see Ranma and family at their hotel room. Genma looks bored out of his mind, and Ranma is restless. Nodoka is watching TV.] Ranma: I wanna do something. Nodoka: Take your father looking for a job. Ranma: I wanna do something that isn't futile. Genma: Hey! Ranma: Actually, I bet Dr. Tofu would be willing to employ you. I mean...if he was willing to hire a panda... Nodoka: ... Ranma: Let's go! [drags Genma out the door] Nodoka: Wait, this doctor employs a...oh. Ranma: C'mon, Pop. *************** [Ranma and Genma arrive outside Dr. Tofu's shop just in time to see a tractor beam pulling him into the sky towards a spaceship hovering over the district] Ranma: [slaps his forehead] Mom's not gonna believe this. Genma: You think they feed their victims? Ranma: Probably. Genma: [sprints after the ship] Wait! Abduct me instead! I can show you how to turn into a panda! Ranma: Are you REALLY sure we're related? ************* [We see Akemi and Gosunkugi going through some books of occult lore. Mimi comes into the room] Mimi: What'cha researching? Gosunkugi: Trying to figure out how to get Desire off our case. Mimi: Give her what she wants. Gosunkugi: But I LIKE my head. Akemi: Isn't there some rite or something? Mimi: [sits and frowns] The Endless tend to be relentless. And their emnity is endless as well. Unless you can convince another one to intervene. Akemi: Who are they again? Mimi: Desire, Destruction, Destiny, Death, Delirium, Despair, and Dream. Akemi: [shudders] Dream is out. Most of them don't sound too helpful. Maybe Destiny. Gosunkugi: Why would Dream be out? Akemi: He and Desire MADE the Tulpas. I can't imagine he'd be happy I revolted. Mimi: Both of them? Interesting. I'd heard either one, but not both. When did they make you? Akemi: About 50,000 years ago, or so. Before the last ice age. Maybe longer than 50,000 years. Most of it is a blur. I was born in Hyperborea. Mimi: ... Gosunkugi: [boggles] You...predate the last ICE AGE? Akemi: [quietly] I was born in the last years of the collapse of the Hyperborean civilization. Organized government had collapsed when cthonians destroyed our major cities with earthquakes. Darkness was rising across the land, and only isolated lands held out. I served a great sorceror. [smiles at Gosunkugi] Like you'll be one day. Gosunkugi: [smiles nervously] What happened to him? Akemi: I had to sell myself to Desire in order to save his life. I became one of the first tulpas. And served Desire for 50,000 years. In one life after another. [shudders] I was a mirror of their wants, but a tiny bit of me always remembered what I had been. What I should have been. Gosunkugi: [faintly] 50,000 years. Akemi: [smiles impishly] I suppose I am robbing the cradle. Gosunkugi: ... Akemi: [walks over and hugs him] But I don't care. It's not like I kept the same body, or even remember more than blurry bits of my past when I was a tulpa. And I wasn't much older than this as a mortal. I'd rather be with you. [thinks a moment] Didn't I tell you all this before? Mimi: Hmm. Futile as consulting Destiny is, it might be possible for you to consult him and see if you're fated to be...no, that would take too long given the likelyhood he would say no. And knowing the answer wouldn't help. Aloysius: [sticks his head in the door] Mimr's Well. Mimi: Ah, good idea. Are you good at riddles? Gosunkugi: I know a lot of reasons why the chicken crossed the road. Akemi: It had to get to the bank before the prime rate went up. [pauses] Well, I didn't understand it either when Nabiki said it. ************** [We see Ichi, Jeremy, Phrank and the other two Zetramen, Sammi, Lendo, Terri, and Kasumi walking down Sixth Street in Austin, which is basically one big wild party with multiple sources of beer] Kasumi: Oh my. Terri: [to Phrank] I can't believe you guys talked me into coming. Phrank: Hey, this place is GREAT! You can pinch someone's butt and they'll probably like it! Terri: I mean with YOU. Phrank: Hey! Jeremy: How exactly did Asrial expect to find us here? Lendo: The power of Radar, perhaps. [to Sammi] Shall we dance? Sammi: Let's find a club we all like, first. [They soon find a club that looks interesting. Club Versailles is decorated to look like an eighteenth century ballroom, except for the wet bar, and the staff all wear period garb, with funky hairdoes and wigs (but not whigs) as appropriate. However, it is playing contemporary dance music. There is a surprise, inside] Kasumi: D...D... [looks stunned] Dr. Tofu: [starting to spaz] Why, Kasumi, I didn't realize the aliens had abducted you too! Or that they played such loud, danceable music. Why, if we weren't on our way to slavery in the salt mines of Mongo, I think I'd want to boogie all night! [Everyone looks hard at Asrial, except Kasumi, who is in shock] Asrial: Hey, I didn't say ANYTHING about salt mines! Kasumi: I...I'd be happy to..boogie all night with you. [smiles nervously] Phrank: There's my cue! [starts singing 'boogie nights' and boogies on out onto the dance floor] Dr. Tofu: Should we be dancing our last night of freedom? Kasumi: [laughs] Yes. [takes his hand] Let's dance. [They dance off together, with her trying to keep him from accidentally killing everyone in sight] Ichi: Good idea. Let's dance, Jeremy. Asrial: Hey, I drove all the way to Japan to help YOUR friend! First dance is mine! [Soon, the usual brawl is in progress] *************** [We see Ukyou up on her roof, thinking] Ukyou: Maybe I should go talk to Ranchan. I just...I feel so weird. [Silence] Ukyou: I suppose waiting for an answer would be futile. Female voice from above: Go talk to Ranma. Ukyou: [blinks] Kami-sama? Female voice from above: Tempting as it would be to claim that, even I don't have that kind of gall. Ukyou: Are you an angel? [pauses] If this is Don Pardo, I'm gonna get mad. Female voice from above: I said it wasn't Kami-sama. Ukyou: ... Female voice from above: That was a joke. Ukyou: Who are you? Female voice from above: I'm a helping kami. Of course, there is a better solution that going to Ranma. Ukyou: What's that? Female voice from above: Just go seduce Shinnosuke and get it over with. Ukyou: [wide eyes] I couldn't. Female voice from above: But you want to. Ukyou: Yes. I mean no! I mean... Female voice from above: He's telling Hitomi how cute you are right now and how he's worried about where you ran off to. [pause] Oh, he just forgot he's in your house and is wondering where he is. Yeesh, even my sister ...owww! Hey, stop pulling my hair! Ukyou: ... Female voice from above: Hey, I have every right to use this loudspeaker you built! I'm a helping goddess too...oww, my HAIR! Why you little! [sounds of brawling echo, then are suddenly cut off] Ukyou: That wasn't much help. I think I'll go talk to Ranchan. *************** [We see Ukyou and Ranma on the hotel roof] Ukyou: I just...I mean, I don't want to burden you with this, but I don't...you're the only real friend I have, Ranchan. I know things are hard for you right now, but... Ranma: What's wrong? You sound really shook up. Ukyou: I think I...I think... Ranma: Shinnosuke didn't walk in on you in the bathroom or something, did he? Ukyou: [shudders] Have you ever...I mean...Um, when you and Akane...do you... Ranma: [cocks his head] Yeah, we have. Not too many times, though. It's impossible to get any privacy. Ukyou: Um, I meant before. Ranma: [shakes his head] No, we never did anything like that before we...um...before I finally made it clear I... Ukyou: No, no, I mean...how does it feel when you kiss her? Ranma: [looks at Ukyou oddly] What? Ukyou: [sighs] Forget it. Ranma: Are you feeling sick or something? [pauses] It feels great when I kiss her. Are you sure you wanna hear about this? I mean... Ukyou: I just...I need to understand how someone is supposed to feel when they kiss someone. Ranma: I ain't the right guy to ask. I mean...it would feel different for a girl, right? Ukyou: [shrugs] I have NO idea. Ranma: [thinks] It sucked pretty hard when I was a girl, but no one I wanted to kiss me ever kissed me when I was a girl. Ukyou: I just get so...trembly. Like I'm gonna die. And I want to...do it again and again and... [shudders] Am I going mad? Ranma: Yeah, I kinda know the feeling. When I kiss Akane, I just don't want it to ever end, even though it does. [pauses] You been kissing Shinnosuke again? Ukyou: I kissed Hayao. Because he was jealous I'd kissed Shinnosuke and not him. Ranma: [shakes his head] Even I can tell you that was a bad idea. Ukyou: He just...He'd never...Okay, I was being ridiculous. I just wanted...I want someone to...to hold me, Ranma. I just feel so lonely. Ranma: [reaches over and squeezes her shoulder] I'll always be here when you need me. Ukyou: [quietly] Not like I need. Ranma: [sighs] I know lonely, Ucchan. It comes and it goes. I had to...Someone had to lose. I'm sorry. [stares up at the stars] You think they have the same problems as us? Ukyou: Hitomi was telling us more stories her and Shinnosuke's grandpa told them about his friend who claims to be an alien when he's drunk. I think they do, Ranchan. I think they do. Ranma: I dunno how much I'd trust Shinnosuke's old man. Although my great-uncle does the same thing. Claimed he was a prince once. Pretty crazy, eh? Ain't no princes in my family. [traces a constellation with one finger] More than Happousai, but then, I trust Cologne more than Happousai. She's not whacko. [turns to Ukyou] I ain't no help on this kinda question. You gotta go with what you feel, Ucchan. Don't let pride or nothing get in your way. I kept waiting for my problems to go away or someone else to solve them. I'd rather see you with Shinnosuke than Hayao, anyway. Shinnosuke's a good guy. Ukyou: [turns to Ranma] Why don't you like Hayao? Ranma: Don't trust him. I trust Shinnosuke. Sometimes I trust him to be an idiot, but I know he'll do the right thing. I don't know this Hayao guy. Ukyou: I just...do you really thinking trying another...so fast...I mean... Ranma: Call your dad. I bet he knows something about love. I mean...he's been married, right? Ukyou: [frowns] Ranchan. Ranma: [waves his hands] I didn't mean to insinuate nuthin'! I was just saying he's loved someone enough to marry them, so he ought to know. Ukyou: He'll just tell me to follow my heart. But I don't trust it. Last time I listened to it... Ranma: I always got in trouble cause I never listened to my heart. That's about all I can tell you. [pauses] And if your father ever arranges more marriages for you, kill him. Ukyou: [laughs] Once bitten, twice shy. Little chance of that. Ranma: [stares at the stars] You think we'll ever go out there, Ucchan? Ukyou: [looks up at the stars] What, in a spaceship? Ranma: Well, unless you know Martial Surviving Deep Vaccuum, yes. Ukyou: There's probably an Amazon technique for it. Keeps Shampoo's head from imploding. Ranma: [pauses, then laughs] She's not that dumb. Ukyou: I shouldn't be bitter towards her. [pauses] The Nekohanten is closed. Ranma: [blinks] She's gone? Ukyou: Yeah. I couldn't tell if it was permanent or just a vacation. Ranma: I hope she comes back. [pauses] Long enough for me to say goodbye at least. [sighs] I don't hate her, though I can understand why you do. She...she loved me more than I deserved. Ukyou: [rolls her eyes] Let's not get maudlin over the bimbo. If you had chosen her, I would have...done something bad. [sighs] I'm afraid to go home. I think I'm gonna do something stupid. Ranma: You're welcome to stay here. Pop and I could take one bed and you and Mom could take the other one. Ukyou: [teasingly] Not you and me together? Ranma: [frowns] Ucchan. Ukyou: [sighs] I was just joking. I can't think like that, but when I try not to, I think about...I bet he looks good na...umm... Ranma: ... Ukyou: I can't believe I'm carrying on like this! Ranma: Maybe it's because he's available. I mean, even with...us...you knew it would be a long time before anything really happened. Me getting privacy is impossible. Which is why it was so silly for Akane to think I was up to stuff with you and Shampoo. I can't be alone with someone more than five minutes without an attack. Ukyou: We've been here more than five minutes. Kunou: [off in the distance] SAOTOME! Ranma: ... Ukyou: I promise I won't say that ever again. ************** [Everyone in the Sixth Street gang is exhausted. Ichi and Asrial are half-asleep, leaning on each other while Terri and Jeremy help the Zetramen stagger along. Lendo and Sammi seem in quite good shape, while Kasumi is leaning on Dr. Tofu, who would spaz, but can barely move] Kasumi: I think I lost 20 pounds. Dr. Tofu: Should I help you look for them? Kasumi: [smiles] You're such a dear. Don't worry, lost pounds usually come home on their own. Dr. Tofu: [faintly] I hope we get to sleep in before we go to the salt mines. Before they execute us, I wanted to tell you something. Kasumi: We're not going to be executed. Dr. Tofu: I guess we wouldn't be much good in the salt mines, dead. Never mind, then. [turns to Terri] Hey, Betty-chan, what are YOU doing here? Kasumi: [softly] What were you going to tell me? Dr. Tofu: I can't believe the aliens abducted my lab skeleton. And put a wig on her. Terri: This is NOT a wig! Dr. Tofu: [jumps back] She talked! Kasumi: [laughs] I wish I was a princess like you, Asrial. Asrial: [blinks and wakes up more] Mrr...what? How come? Kasumi: They say the kiss of a princess can break spells. Asrial: No problem. Don't get jealous, okay, Jeremy? Jeremy: What? What was that, Asrial? [Asrial walks over and kisses Dr. Tofu on the cheek. His glasses de-fog and he looks confused] Dr. Tofu: [looks around] This isn't a spaceship. [sees Kasumi] Kasumi, did you just kiss me? Kasumi: I...ummm... Asrial: Yeah. But you turned your head and she missed your lips. Give her another chance. Dr. Tofu: [nervously] I..ummm... Kasumi: Here...Here I come. [They kiss and Dr. Tofu faints] Oh my. [pauses] I think I'll faint now too. [thunk] Terri: If any more people faint, I'm going to give you to Dr. Steamhead for experiments. ************ [We see Ukyou standing outside the door of the guestroom in her house, with her hand half raised to knock. She is staring at the door] Ukyou: [thinking] Do something, Ukyou. Anything. Even playing mumbletypeg with my foot would be more dignified than standing here like this. Shinnosuke: [from behind her] Is something wrong? Ukyou: [spins around] No, nothing's wrong, I just had a long conversation with Ranchan on whether or not I should rip off...I mean...if I should...if it's too soon to... Shinnosuke: Yeah, I think it's time to rip off the old tiles on your roof and replace them. They're getting old. Ukyou: [twitches] How soon...do you think you'll be ready for someone else? Shinnosuke: What? Ukyou: I mean, Akane's marrying Ranma, so... Shinnosuke: Oh, you mean, when will I get over that? Ukyou: [nods firmly] Yeah. Shinnosuke: Wait, Akane's marrying Ranma? Ukyou: ... [turns to go] Forget it. Shinnosuke: [sighs] That was a joke. I do learn eventually. Sometimes. I can remember you name, for example. Ukyou Kuonji. From Osaka. The best okonomiyaki chef I know. Ukyou: [spins on one foot] How can you be so nice? Shinnosuke: I'm not very nice. Ukyou: Everything you say about me is so good! Shinnosuke: Is that bad? Ukyou: [gulps] I'm not used to compliments. They...They kinda go to my head. Shinnosuke: Would you rather I insult you? Ukyou: [shakes her head] No, no, no! I...you're very kind to me, and I feel like...I don't feel worthy. Shinnosuke: I only lie when I forget something. You've been very kind to me, letting me stay here and being so patient with me and Hitomi. [smiles] I'm just glad I can help you out for helping me. And soon, maybe I can get all my memory ability from the wizard, and then I can try to really repay you. Ukyou: [smiles] You can stay as long as you want. Hitomi: [muffled through the door] Look, People, get to smooching, or go to bed! You're keeping me up! Kissing makes less noise than talking! [Ukyou and Shinnosuke both blush] Shinnosuke: Stop being so RUDE! Hitomi: I know you want her body, so just get it over with! Or come to bed! Shinnosuke: I didn't say I wanted her body! Hitomi: You talk in your sleep sometimes! Shinnosuke: [blushes] I...You were BEGGING David Hasselhoff to marry you last night! You talk in your sleep too! Hitomi: [acks] I do not! That must have been...Ukyou! Yeah, it was her! Ukyou: [laughing] If I ever beg him to marry me, in my sleep or not, you may kill me. Shinnosuke: [turns to Ukyou] I didn't...I mean, it must have been a dream, I'm not a...I mean... [blushes] Ukyou: [smiles at Shinnosuke] I know you aren't. [whispers to him] Let's make her THINK we're making out. Then tease her when she looks. Shinnosuke: [smiles and starts making moaning noises] Oh, Ukyou! Touch my...oh yeah... Ukyou: [moaning and acting silly] Touch me! Take me now! Oh yes! Hitomi: [sticks her head out the door, looking beet red] Not where I can hear you! I was joking...I... [They both laugh and carry her back into the room, then tie her up with her own sheets] Ukyou: Don't trust everything you hear, kid. Hitomi: Just goes to show you can't trust anyone over 14. ******************* [We see Gosunkugi, Akemi, Aloysius, Susan, and Mimi conferring.] Susan: I don't think you CAN appease her. Mimi: [frowns] I was afraid of that. You'll need a patron, someone who can make her back off. Gosunkugi: Any suggestions? Mimi: Well, Dream and Death are usually the most benevolent to Mortals of the Endless. Akemi: If Death is one of the most benevolent ones, I think we're in trouble. Mimi: The Death of Earth is really quite nice. So is the other one I've met, but he wouldn't be much help since he doesn't have any authority here. SORRY ABOUT THAT. SHE GETS MAD WHEN I WANDER AROUND IN HER TERRITORY. THEN AGAIN, I WASN'T TOO PLEASED WHEN SHE NICKED ONE OF MY SOULS, SO I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. [Akemi and Gosunkugi are now both hanging from the ceiling lamp, looking panicked] Akemi: Ack! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to insinuate anything! Gosunkugi: ... Mimi: I didn't realize you were listening. YOU FORGOT LAW #88, I SEE. Akemi: Don't feed gremlins after midnight? Gosunkugi: No, no, it's 'Never give a sucker an even break'. Aloysius: Yeesh, get it straight. It's 'always leave them laughing'. Mimi: If you speak the name of a supernatural being, you risk them hearing you. That's law #88. GOOD TO SEE SOMEONE STUDIED. [pause] UNLIKE ONE WIZARD I KNOW. Mimi: Could you be more vague, please? THE PACKARD FLIES AT MIDNIGHT. Gosunkugi: Could you be LESS vague, please? IF YOU WISH TO SPEAK WITH MY COUNTERPART, I SUGGEST YOU TALK TO A BOY NAMED SHINNOSUKE. HE WANTS TO SEE YOU ANYWAY, AND HE CAN GET YOU PAST YOUR Death'S NEW DOOR GUARDIAN. Akemi: [starts to slip and grabs onto Gosunkugi, sending the lamp swinging wildly] HELP! Aloysius: You could just let go. Your feet are only three feet off the floor you know. Gosunkugi: ... Mimi: Where would they find Shinnosuke? IN TOKYO. HE'S LOOKING FOR YOU ANYWAY. A NICE BOY. MY COUSIN MET HIM THE OTHER DAY. [PAUSE] IF ANY DEMONDANDS DROP BY ASKING WHERE HE IS, TELL THEM HE DECIDED TO MOVE TO MELNIBONE, OKAY? Gosunkugi: If any demodands drop by, I'm running for the hills. Susan: Your cousin isn't that 'Mr. Skullhead' guy is it? Mimi: We'll be sure to tell them that. THANK YOU. GOOD DAY, MIMI. [PAUSE] YOU WILL MAKE THE CHESS TOURNAMENT THIS FRIDAY, RIGHT? THE DEATH OF CRYSTAL TOKYO IS LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAYING YOU. Mimi: I'll be sure to make it, then. GOOD, GOOD. ONE LAST BIT OF ADVICE. Gosunkugi: Yes? BEWARE OF AMAZONS BEARING MALLETS. Akemi: [finally drops to the ground] We already knew that. RIGHT. GOOD DAY. [SILENCE] Mimi: He's a nice chap as Deaths go. A lousy chess player, though. [For no apparent reason, a water baloon falls on her head] I HEARD THAT. ******************* [We see Kasumi packing to depart. There is a knock on the door] Kasumi: Come in! Susan: [enters nervously] Are you really going to leave? Kasumi: Much as I want to stay, I can't. My family is tearing itself apart and I may be the only person who can stop it. [sighs] I wonder if all eldest sisters have this kind of problem. Susan: [sits down on the bed] I'm sure you'll fix it easily, but... Kasumi: [turns around] But? Susan: I don't want you to leave. I owe you, and I haven't been able to repay it. I want...I want to be your disciple. Kasumi: ... Susan: I've met saints before, but I was always on the other side. I want to help you. Maybe I can get back into heaven if I do. Kasumi: [boggles] I'm no saint. Susan: Yes you are. Trust me, I've been banished by eight saints and Saint Brigit threw me down a well and dropped flaming notes from her harp on me. Kasumi: [blinks] She was just an old Celtic goddess who got turned into a saint in the memories of the Irish nation. Susan: Those were the worst kind! Most saints weren't aware of their own power, but those ex-pagans would run WILD over poor, hard working demons like...like I used to be. Oh, we REALLY hated them. Kasumi: ... Susan: Anyway, if I study you enough, I think I can clean my slate so I can go back to Heaven and beg them for a street- sweeping job or something. Kasumi: All it takes is to ask God for forgiveness, and you will be forgiven. Susan: Nothing in life is that easy. Kasumi: [thinking] If she's not going to believe what I tell her, how is she going to be my disciple? Not that I want one. I'm no saint. Susan: Yes, you are! Kasumi: [jumps] You read my mind! Susan: [nervously] Sorry, habit. I'll try to stop so I don't drive you crazy. Kasumi: [sighs and goes back to packing] I'm not a saint. I have hardly any time to pray, I've never performed a miracle, and I haven't been able to do much at all to even bring peace to my family, let alone run around saving souls. I can't even talk to my own sisters about my faith without them running away. [piles several books into the suitcase] I'm not going to have room in this suitcase. Susan: [pulls one out of somewhere] Here you go. Kasumi: [starts packing it, then blinks] Hey, where did this come from? Susan: I conjured it from my house. I don't have enough power now that I've lost my patron to create matter anymore. [sighs] And if I don't find another one, I'm going to dwindle away. Kasumi: You've got a mortal body now. Susan: But I'm losing my powers. Kasumi: [sighs] Most of us get by just fine without any. [stuffs more clothing into the second suitcase] Every time I go on a trip, I always seem to end up with twice as much stuff as when I started. Susan: I have no legal identity, no education, and no salable skills except my magic, Kasumi. I have some money in the bank, but Desire probably made my bank account evaporate as revenge, and I suspect my credit cards will bounce if I try to use them. I know a lot of stuff, and I'm good at magic, but without a source of power, I can't use it. I need a patron, and no one will hire me because I've screwed up so many times, and Desire will probably blackball me anyway. Kasumi: But I don't HAVE any power! I'm just an ordinary Japanese girl with a high school diploma. [sighs] And no future except for trying to keep my family from self-destruction. Susan: You have more power than almost anyone I've met. And I can USE it if you aren't going to. And I'll use it for you. [desperately] I owe you, Kasumi. You got me my soul back. Let me help you. Kasumi: [nervously] But what am I going to tell my folks? That an American ex-demon decided to become my disciple? Susan: I don't have to move in with you, just be able to come see you so I can help out. Just tell them I was moving to Japan anyway, and you're helping me settle in. Kasumi: [sits down on the bed] But I'm not a saint! Susan: All the saints say that. It's the best sign of a saint. Kasumi: But lots of people who say they aren't saints are right. Susan: Yeah, but all the saints thought they stunk. Why, I remember the day Confucious threw me out a window. Now, he had just been complaining about... [launches into a story] **************** [We see Soun eating with Ken and Ryoko Hibiki. They are eating pickled lettuce soup] Soun: I'm sorry, but this is the only thing I know how to cook. Ken: It's fine. [thinking] I'll chop off my left hand before I let Ryouga marry into this family. Ryoko: You should have let me cook. Soun: [sighs] I didn't want to impose. I am your host. Ken: Does this sort of thing happen often? Soun: Usually there's property damage too. Thank the kamis we were spared that. [Ryouga flies across the room and through the wall] Akane: [from the doorway] Don't ever come near me AGAIN! Soun: More property damage than that. [Kunou crashes down through the ceiling, landing on the end of the table and flipping the soup into everyone's face] Kunou: Saotome! You may have sent me into orbit with your foul sorceries, but now I have returned! I shall smite thee! Soun: ... Ken: ... Ryoko: Well, it can't get much worse. Kunou: [lifts his sword] I will DESTROY thee, Saotome! This I do swear by my honor as the BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH! [lightning crackles down from the heavens, striking behind him. The living room now has a 'skylight'] Oh wait, I graduated. I, TATEWAKI KUNOU, THE FUTURE BLUE THUNDER OF WASEDA UNIVERSITY, ASSUMING I AM ACCEPTED THERE! [lightning strikes again. The roof is mostly gone now] OR, IF I AM NOT ACCEPTED THERE, POSSIBLY AT TO... [Ryoko hurls her now empty bowl of soup at his head, knocking him out] Ryoko: I take it you forgot to spray for morons. **************** [We see Kyousuke Kasuga and Madoka Ayukawa at the Kasuga apartment. Kyousuke is going through his mail while she practices the saxophone. His sisters are chasing the cat round and round in the background] Kyousuke: Hey, I got a letter from Waseda. FINALLY! Madoka: [looks over] I got my acceptance letter a month ago. Kurumi: Last round draft pick, eh, big brother? Kyousuke: [frowns and opens it, reads, then smiles] I got in! I got in! Manami: I bet you'll have a great time there! Madoka: Yeah, it'll be great. No more idiots to put up with. You have to be pretty smart to get into Waseda. Kurumi: Then how did Kyousuke get in? Madoka: [hurls a pillow at her without looking. It beans her squarely between the eyes and she passes out] Do they say who your roommate will be? Kyousuke: Some Tatewaki Kunou guy. Sounds decent to me. Madoka: [squirms] Suddenly I have this feeling like someone just walked on my grave. Manami: Kurumi did it. Kyousuke: [suspiciously] While unconscious? Manami: Hey, it wasn't me! [Madoka and Kyousuke both stare at her suspiciously] Manami: Probably just a premonition of doom. Bet he's an axe murderer. Kyousuke: If he sticks to axes, we'll be okay. [Now Manami and Madoka stare at him blankly] Kyousuke: I guess I'll stick to photography and avoid stand-up comedy, eh? *************** [We see Ryouga, Nabiki, Ken and Ryoko in the backyard. Nabiki has just leashed them all to a tree] Nabiki: Okay, I'm gonna go run some errands. Call Dad if you need anything. Ken: [frowns] I don't like this. Nabiki: Well, we couldn't bring your guide cat on the plane. Or your guide dog. [sighs] I'm sorry, but I want you all to be here when I get back. And you wanted to have a private family conference, right? Ken: [nods] Yes. Nabiki: [kisses Ryouga on the cheek] I'll be back soon, dear. Ryouga: Goodbye, Nabiki-chan [They stand and smile at each other, then she runs off] Nabiki: I'll be back as soon as I can! Ken: [once she's gone] There's no way I'm letting you marry into this family. Ryouga: ... Ryoko: Nabiki's a nice girl, but her family is a disaster, and I don't want anything to do with it. Ryouga: Her family is NOT a disaster! Ken: Her eldest sister has sacrificed her life to play mommy, her younger sister is a violent maniac who wants to kill you, and her father is a complete loser whose only redeeming quality is that he means well. Ryoko: What exactly happened with you and Akane? Why does she hate you so much? I thought you had a crush on her, but... Ryouga: [sits down and sighs] She's right. I am a monster. I deserve to have her kill me. Ryoko: [frowns] That's not true! You're my beloved son, gentle and kind! Ryouga: It all started when I chased Saotome to China... ************ [We see the Gosunkugi house. Mrs. Gosunkugi is pacing back and forth. Finally, she picks up the phone and dials] Phone: Ring. Ring. Ring. Mrs. Gosunkugi: Pick up the phone. Please pick up the phone. Phone: Ring. Ring. Ring. Mrs. Gosunkugi: [frantic] Not you too! Pick up the phone! Phone: Ring. Ring. Click. Mimi: [on the phone] Hello, you've reached the home of Mimi Masters. Mrs. Gosunkugi: NOT AN ANSWERING MACHINE! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Mimi: [wincing] I'm not an answering machine, but I may be deaf now. Mrs. Gosunkugi: Is my son okay? Mimi: He's just fine. I can get him. Mrs. Gosunkugi: [sigh of relief] He's safe. He's not missing like his father. I don't know what happened to him! He said something about some movie star or something. Priscilla Presley. I think she kidnapped him. Mimi: ... Mrs. Gosunkugi: Anyway, can you get my son? Mimi: No problem. Gosunkugi: [on the phone] Hi, Mom. Mrs. Gosunkugi: If you see Priscilla Presley, don't let her in the house. She kidnapped your father. Gosunkugi: That was the Amazons. Mrs. Gosunkugi: She's an Amazon? Gosunkugi: They tried to kidnap me too, but we chased them off. Mrs. Gosunkugi: And rescued your father? Gosunkugi: ... Mrs. Gosunkugi: Now you know why I have to nag you repeatedly to clean your room. If you don't go find your father, I'm going to ground you until you're sixty. Gosunkugi: Urk. I don't think I can fight the entire Amazon village by myself. Mrs. Gosunkugi: Get your crazy martial arts friends to help. They... [gets clonked in the head by an unseen assailant] Gosunkugi: They...they...Mom, you know I can't stand it when you trail off for dramatic effect. [pause] Mom? [pause, worried] Mom? Cologne: [picks up the phone and talks into it] She's about to get a free permanent trip to China. Gosunkugi: You'll pay for this!!! Cologne: Chiang Kai-shek said that too. [sighs] He was a cheapskate. Gosunkugi: Don't make fun of me! Cologne: Right. I'll just go torture your mother instead. [hangs up] Gosunkugi: MOM!!!!!!!!!!! Shampoo: [standing nearby, frowns] Torture her? Cologne: One of the best kind of threats leaves the details to someone's imagination. He'll come. [smiles] And we'll be ready for him. ************** [Ryouga continues his explanation.] Ryouga: I know I shouldn't have crawled into her bed. I just...I loved her so badly, and I couldn't help myself. Ryoko: [sighs] She's right, you were an idiot. Ryouga: ... Ryoko: There's no such thing as being unable to help yourself. No one can make you do anything but you. You screwed up because you wanted to. Ryouga: But, Mom, I... Ryoko: She has every right to cut out your heart and eat it. Ken: Let's not get graphic, okay? Are you sure you want to pursue this, son? It's going to be an uphill battle, and it's likely that Akane may never forgive you. Ryoko: And what happens when this love potion wears off? Ryouga: I don't love her because of the potion! Ryoko: You loved Akane so much you couldn't stay out of her bed, and then suddenly, you love Nabiki so much you can? Ryouga: I just...I...It has to be true love! It has to! Ken: If it was a love potion, it's a strong one if Nabiki will fight her sister for you. Ryoko: [shakes her head] It had to be a love potion. Or else our son is insane. Ryouga: [irritated] I am NOT crazy! I love Nabiki and nothing will change that! [Suddenly, Shelf pops up from behind a bush and hoses down Ryouga, Ryoko, and Ken with a spray can. He then runs off at high speed] Ken: ... Ryoko: Is everyone in this house insane? Ryouga: That was the husband of a 300 year old Chinese Amazon. His name is Shelf. Ryoko: That was a human being? Ryouga: What was that stuff, anyway? [A passing mosquito makes a WIDE detour around them] Ken: Looks like a runby bug repellent spraying. Ryouga: Anyway, I love Nabiki and nothing can change that. [In the shadows, Shelf looks at the can he is holding. It is labelled 'Love Potion Neutralizer and Bug Repellent'] Shelf: [frowns] It worked when I sprayed Cologne with it. I guess I'll try hosing down Nabiki. Ryoko: Well, your father and I have to get back to America. We have shows scheduled. I can get you and Nabiki some tickets if you want to see me sing with Barry Manilou. Ryouga: Sure, that would be great. [sighs] There has to be some way to get Akane to know I'm sorry and forgive me. Ken: Stage an alien invasion. Ryouga: ... Ken: It worked in 'Wag the ID4'. Ryoko: Made by your uncle, Charles De Hibiki, the French Resistance Leader? Ken: [holds two fingers twined together] He and De Gaulle were like this. Ryouga: [sighs] You didn't tell Mr. Tendo any of these crazy stories, did you? Ken: Only the one about how Christopher Hibiki discovered Ohio. ************** [Akane is in the dojo, working out. There is a knock on the door. She opens them.] Akane: WHAT? [The old man and his grand daughter we've seen several times before in this series are standing there] Old Man: FINALLY. We've come to crush all of Happousai's disciples! I'll show that old pervert who's boss! Girl: [about Akane's age] Said the pot to the kettle. Old Man: [trips her without even looking] Show an old man some respect. Akane: Happousai doesn't have any disciples. Go away before I punt you to the moon. Girl: See? I told you! Let's go home, Jiji. Old Man: Don't call me that! [turns to Akane] I know Happousai lives here. Akane: In fifteen seconds, I'm going to close this door. In one minute, I'll open it again, and if you're still here, you won't be here long. Old Man: I'm not leaving until we get to challenge Happousai and his disciples. [The door closes] Girl: Pardon me, I think I hear my mother calling. [runs off] Old Man: Yawara you coward! You're dishonoring your father's memory! [The door opens and Akane picks up the old man] Akane: Any last words? Old Man: [rolls and flips her, sending her across the yard into the pond, somehow using her own body for the leverage he needs] Only a fool grabs a Judo master. Akane: [rises from the pond, dripping wet and glowing blue with battle aura] You have fifteen seconds to leave. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve. Old Man: Hah! I recognize that trick! You are Happousai's disciple! You're about to use that stupid aura trick where you grow to thirty feet tall, but you can't actually touch anything because it just moves your molecules farther apart! Yawara: [from across the yard] That's not possible! Old Man: Yawara, my granddaughter, there is more in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. [laughs] I always wanted to say that. Akane: One. DIE! [her aura erupts, firing a blue bolt at the Old Man, who is flung back through the doorway and into the dojo. She blinks] Did I do that? Old Man: [staggers out, smoking] Nice feint. Yawara: ... Old Man: No more kid gloves. [charges at Akane, who tenses for his charge, then skids to a halt a few feet from her. She blinks and he suddenly is up on her shoulders and uses Cammy's patented land on your shoulders and somehow flip you backwards by doing a backwards roll off your shoulders move. It seems even less plausible when he does it than when she does] Yah! Yawara: How did you do that? [Akane splashes into the pool again] Old Man: The woman who taught me didn't have any idea either. Top that! Akane: [glowing with chi as she charges out of the pond] DROP KICK! [picks up the Old Man, then drops him, punting him in mid-air. He soars upwards and out of sight] Yawara: [nervously] You didn't really punt him to the moon, did you? Akane: Naah, Ranma usually just lands in the bay. ************** [We see Ryu Hibiki, still on the moon, struggling up a hill.] Ryu: [looks down into the next valley] Another one of those weird platforms? And another American flag too. Maybe this is some weird kind of patriotic site. [The old man falls on his head. They both tumble to the ground] Old Man: Happousai taught her well. Probably for sexual favors. Bleah. Ryu: [blinks] Huh? Old Man: [looks around] So where are we? Ryu: Death Valley, I think. [looks down at the lander] Or maybe that new park Disney was building. Old Man: [looks up] Tell me that's not the Earth up there. Ryu: That's not the Earth up there. Old Man: What is it? Ryu: I think someone just painted the moon. It was getting boring the way it never changed. Old Man: ... *************** [We see Genma, Shinnosuke, and Hitomi working as waitpersons at Ucchan's, while Ukyou and Ranma-chan cook. Ranma-chan, like Ukyou, is dressed in a traditional okonomiyaki seller's uniform: black tights and a wrap around floral top] Ranma-chan: I don't see why I gotta be a girl while I cook. [flips over more okonomiyaki on one of the grills] Ukyou: It draws in more customers. [smiles at one table of customers, who smile back enthusiastically] I don't always like it, but I gotta make all the money I can during the summer so I can afford to only work short hours during school. Ranma-chan: [mutters] I don't even look good in this outfit. Ukyou: [glares for a second, then laughs] It was that or the bunny costume. Ranma-chan: [laughs] You're bluffing. You don't own a bunny costume. Ukyou: [grins] If I have one, you have to wear it. Ranma-chan: If you don't have one, you have to go rent one and wear it. Hitomi: [comes to get an order] That's a sucker bet, Ranma. Ranma-chan: She's bluffing. Ain't no way Ucchan would have a bunny outfit. Ukyou: [walks to the base of the stairs] Last chance to back down, Ranchan. Ranma-chan: I may get bluffed at poker, but you ain't gonna bluff me! Hitomi: [snags the order she came for] Hope you look good in a bunny outfit. Ranma-chan: [rolls her eyes] You don't know Ucchan. She ain't got no girly outfits like that. Heck, we could swap clothing and no one would notice most days. Hitomi: [frowns] There's nothing wrong with looking like a girl. Ranma-chan: Hey, I like how Ucchan dresses. If I was a girl, I'd dress like that. Shinnosuke: [comes for an order] You are one, and you are dressed like that. Ranma-chan: ... Shinnosuke: Okay, I need a...um... [turns and shouts across the room] You need WHAT? [goes over to talk to the people again] Ukyou: [comes down, holding an outfit that looks suspiciously like a green version of the uniform worn by the hostesses at Playboy clubs] Go get dressed, Ranchan. Ranma-chan: ... Hitomi: [grins] I TOLD YOU! Customer: Hey, kid, where's my ORDER? Hitomi: [runs across the room] Here you go. Customer: It doesn't have the toppings I ordered! Hitomi: This is an okonomiyaki shop. You put the toppings on yourself. Customer: What if I don't want self-service? Where's the full service table? Hitomi: We don't change your oil, either. [points at the hollow space with a grill in the table] See all that stuff? Go for it. Customer: If I wanted to do it myself, I'd be eating at home! Hitomi: Well, we do have another option. Customer: Yes? Hitomi: I push your face down into the toppings, then you won't have to make an effort to eat them. Customer: [nervously] Self-service sounds good. Ranma-chan: You...why do you have one of these? Ukyou: [stares at the ground] I was saving it for a special occasion. Like... Ranma-chan: ... Ukyou: [sighs] You don't have to wear this. Ranma-chan: [looks around at the anarchy in Ucchans. Genma is trying to nap under a table. Hitomi is browbeating the customers, and Shinnosuke can't remember anyone's order more than five seconds] I'll change fast. [takes the outfit and runs] Ukyou: ... [goes back to cooking] Ranma-chan: [emerges in the outfit and goes over to Genma] Pop, get to work, or I'll announce we're having a special with Panda toppings. Genma: You can't... Ranma-chan: [does the Giant Soun Trick] POP, GO TO WORK OR I'M GONNA TELL MOM UKYOU DIDN'T FIRE YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BE FIRED. Genma: ... [runs off, grabs a broom, and starts cleaning up] Ranma-chan: [hands Shinnosuke a notepad] Use this. Shinnosuke: Oh, THAT's where I put it. Ranma-chan: [darts over to Hitomi] Go cook. Hitomi: Hey, you can't... Ranma-chan: Or I'll demonstrate my talents in Martial Arts Punting People to the Moon. Hitomi: ... [goes to cooking] [Ranma-chan darts all over the room, doing her best seductive routine, soon soothing the sea of chaos. More male customers begin cramming into the shop, but she remains always just out of their reach. During a brief break, she looks contemplatively at Shinnosuke, then grins and takes his shirt off] Shinnosuke: ... [She darts out of his sight, and he soon forgets he was wearing a shirt. Soon, more female customers seem to be showing up as well] Ukyou: [trying not to stare at Shinnosuke as he comes over to get an order] Umm, you don't mind, do you? Shinnosuke: Mind what? Ukyou: Being used as..umm...human advertising? Shinnosuke: [looks at himself] Someone didn't put a sign on my back, did they? Ukyou: [looks over at Ranma-chan] I guess I just don't understand you. Shinnosuke: That's okay. I don't understand me either. We need three more okonomiyaki and a shrimp struedel. Ukyou: [blinks] A what? Shinnosuke: Well, actually, he said 'a struedel for the shrimp'. Ukyou: But we don't serve struedel. Shinnosuke: Aren't there laws against discriminating on who you serve? Ukyou: ... ***************** [We see Ukyou, Genma, Shinnosuke, Ranma-chan, and Hitomi splayed out across the tables, exhausted] Hitomi: My pains hurt. Genma: I think I used up my quota of work for the next century. Shinnosuke: I can't remember where my shirt is. Ranma-chan: I'm just glad you don't have any high heels, Ucchan. Ukyou: [grins] And what if I do? Ranma-chan: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll probably die. Hitomi: I'm gonna go take a bath. Genma: I'm gonna go mooc...visit Tendo-san. Shinnosuke: I'm gonna lie here and moan. Ukyou: I gotta go do inventory. [pauses] In a few years. Ranma-chan: [springs up] I'll help you. [They go to the backroom and start putting away some deliveries Ukyou got earlier in the day and checking what supplies she needs to order. They talk while they do this] Ukyou: I hope... Ranma-chan: I hope I'm not this tired after the end of every day. Thanks for hiring Pop, Ucchan. Ukyou: He needed the work. Ranma-chan: Yeah, but you ain't got no reason to be nice to him. And we need the money bad. Ukyou: [quietly] You worked really hard today. And you didn't complain about the outfit. Ranma-chan: Everything was going to hell, and I had to do something. Ukyou: [quietly] I know how much you hate dressing like a girl. Ranma-chan: I came close to throwing up about fifty times and by the end, I almost forgot I wasn't a girl. Thirty guys asked me out. Twelve tried to kiss me. They all flirted. [looks down at herself] Do they put aphrodesiacs in these things? Then again, given all Shinnosuke had to do was take off his shirt... Ukyou: You make a VERY good looking woman, Ranchan. And YOU took his shirt off. Ranma-chan: [absently] You'd look better than me in this. Ukyou: [blushes] You think so? Ranma-chan: You'd look great. [shrugs, picks up a crate and reads the label] Gunpowder? For cooking? Ukyou: My explosive flour mix. [pauses] I bought the outfit for...I was hoping... Ranma-chan: [nervously] It ain't none of my business. You want me to wear it tomorrow too? Ukyou: I won't make you do it, Ranchan. Ranma-chan: You need the money, Ucchan. I can stand it. Ukyou: [stares at the ground] Not tomorrow. I gotta wash it before you wear it again. Ranma-chan: [puts a hand on Ukyou's shoulder nervously] I gotta go. I'm supposed to have dinner with Akane. I'll change before I go. Ukyou: [quietly] You really think I'd look good in that? Ranma-chan: Save it for someone you care about. It don't matter if I prance around in it; it don't mean nothing. I'm really a boy, and it's all a big con. But yeah, I think you'd look really good in it. Save it for a surprise for someone you love. [walks out] Ukyou: [quietly] That's what I was saving it for. *************** [We see Hitomi, Ukyou, and Shinnosuke playing cards] Hitomi: I can't believe Ranma pranced around in that outfit like that. Shinnosuke: I can't believe so many women wanted to look at my chest. [looks at his hand] I bid one. Ukyou: [shrugs] You have a nice chest. I wouldn't mind staring at it. [blushes] Pretend I didn't say that. Hitomi: I mean, you'd think he wanted every man in the room the way he was acting. Ukyou: That was the idea. Rope them in and get them to spend money. [stares at her cards] What a lousy hand. I bid one trick. Shinnosuke: I bid three. Hitomi: Hey, it's MY bid! You already bid! Shinnosuke: Oh wait, those are clubs, not spades. I bid one. Hitomi: Well, if you people have such lousy hands...I bid ten for two hundred. [turns to Ukyou] Yeah, but selling your body for money like that...feh. And I think he liked it. Ukyou: [narrows her eyes] You don't know ANYTHING about Ranma if you think that. Shinnosuke: That was Ranma? Ukyou: So you bid ten for two hundred, Hitomi? Hitomi: Yeah. So why'd he do that if he hates it? Ukyou: Because sometimes you have to do things you hate to help friends, or even just to survive. Hitomi: I still think he liked it. ************** [We see Akane fuming up in her room. Ranma-chan appears in the window] Ranma-chan: Sorry I'm late. Work ran overtime, but now I've got lots of money to take you somewhere nice. Akane: I've been waiting an hour! Ranma-chan: [frowns] I told you I had to work today and wasn't sure when we'd be done. I had to help Ucchan do inventory. Akane: Your father's been here for an hour! Ranma-chan: He ran off the second he could. [pauses] Wait, why didn't Nabiki throw him out? Akane: She and Ryouga and his family left to eat dinner. [sighs] This really stinks, Ranma. Ranma-chan: I know. I didn't come to the door 'cause of Nabiki. Akane: I just...dammit, why can't she understand why I'm mad at Ryouga? Ranma-chan: 'Cause she loves him, and when you love someone, you tend to take their side. It may only be a potion, but they don't seem to care. Akane: Maybe I should get some potion neutralizer. Ranma-chan: I think Santa gave Shelf some. Akane: When did...oh yeah. So what did he give you? Ranma-chan: [thinks a moment, then says] I never opened it. Akane: Now I'm curious. Ranma-chan: I ain't got it with me. I'll check later. C'mon, we gotta go before every restaurant in Tokyo closes. **************** [We see Desire in her stronghold. She is throwing darts at a dartboard that has pictures of Akemi, Kasumi, Elvis, Zorro, Dream, Ghandi, the Buddha, and Emperor Norton up on it. The pictures are all full of dart holes] Desire: She's late. [frowns] I'm escalating this because it's taking too long to get them to destroy each other, so of course, the instrument of my vengeance decides to be late, causing MORE delays! [hurls a barrage of darts at all her targets, hitting each on in the nose] [The Bishoujo Kitsune, a beautiful shapechanging fox, walks in, currently wearing her human form] Bishoujo Kitsune: I prefer the term, 'fashionably late'. Desire: I don't like waiting. Bishoujo Kitsune: I understand you wish to retain my husband and I for a job. Desire: I need someone either corrupted or destroyed. Two someones. Well, three someones. Four. Bishoujo Kitsune: I take it that basic math skills aren't part of your godly powers? Desire: Do you wish to have a blooming century lotus or not? Bishoujo Kitsune: Yes. Desire: [smiles] Then we can make a deal. **************