[We see Ukyou duking it out with Genma and Nodoka, who both look totally crazed. She is totally naked, and blushing beet red all over] Ukyou: Don't make me fight you! [thinks a moment] Well, I suppose killing you wouldn't be so bad, Mr. Saotome. Genma: [sounds zoned] Have to kill you to save my son! The red haired lady told me to. Have to... Ukyou: I really shouldn't have left all that food lying around the kitchen. Genma: [locks up] Food... [starts to move again] Have to kill you... [locks up] Food! [starts toward the door, then stops] Have to kill you to save... [starts toward the door again] Food! Food! Ukyou: [knocks him out the door] I left all that ice cream downstairs, too. Genma: FOOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!!! [runs off down the hall and down the stairs] Ukyou: [turns back to Nodoka] I don't suppose you'd let me get dressed? Nodoka: [slashing wildly with her katana] GIVE ME BACK MY SON! Ukyou: I'll take that as a no. ************************* Furinkan Summer #14 "Reckonings." By John Biles "Summer Fields"--The FS Theme. My anger hides a loving heart; My anger drives us far apart. Only your love can heal the pain, For it's your smile that brings the rain That helps love's fields to grow. Walk with me through summer's field So we can help our hearts to heal. Stride through the grass and smell the air Under the sun without a care. I want to walk with you. We hid our love behind our pride, Never letting others inside. To end those lies must be our task; Tear down the walls; Throw out the masks We used to hide from love. Walk with me through summer's field So we can help our hearts to heal. Stride through the grass and smell the air Under the sun without a care. I want to walk with you. Love does not end with "I Love You", Not if what the things we said were true. We have to strive to make it grow. We have to let our feelings show Else love will fade like dew. **************************** [We see Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi and a groggy Susan having a war council] Susan: I can get us into Desire's fortress, but... Nabiki: She'll instantly kill us all? Susan: That about sums it up. The only reason I can get us in is that I made a backdoor for myself. But since she IS her fortress, she'll almost certainly know we've come in. Nabiki: If she IS her fortress, then why doesn't she know about the backdoor? Susan: It's protected by spells that prevent any being of pure spirit, such as Desire, from finding it. [thinking] I hope. [speaking] I can only find it because I made it. Basically, I can attune myself to it and move to it whenever I want, carrying things with me. But once we're in, she'll know we're there. That's the problem. I have a second one in my apartment, which is how I can get out once we get in. The tricky part is going to be that once we get in... Akane: So how powerful is she? Susan: I'm not sure. Kasumi took her down with a frying pan at my house, but she's mostly indestructible in her fortress, and omniscient with regard to it. Still, she rarely kills. It's too dangerous. She might accidentally kill a family member, and then the Furies would munch her like they did to Morpheus. Kasumi: What? Susan: I'm not sure who Morpheus killed or why, but the Furies hunt anyone who slays anyone related to them, especially if the people involved are supernaturals. Morpheus had to kill someone he was related to, and then the Furies hunted him and killed him. He was the old Dream. [pauses] Or something like that. I wasn't there and the craziest rumors get spread around the spirit community. Akane: I don't think we're descended from any gods. Susan: Well, you'd be surprised how many people are. Still, that won't help us now. There's only one that I'm certain of that lives in Japan. Nabiki: And probably wanted Ranma to marry her at some point. So who is it? Susan: Well, Delirium was the mother, and the name is... [thinks] Akane: Delirium? Nabiki and Akane: Kodachi? Susan: No, no. This guy...suffers from fits of amnesia as a result. Shinji. No, that's not right. She used to talk about this guy all the time. Fought giant animals... Akane: Shinnosuke! Susan: Yeah. You know him? Kasumi: I'll call Ukyou. ************ [We see Ukyou fighting Nodoka. She finally manages to disarm Nodoka. Then the phone rings. Shinnosuke springs awake and runs to the phone. Nodoka and Ukyou both watch him run in surprise] Ukyou: ... Nodoka: ... [Ukyou whacks Nodoka in the head while she's distracted and she collapses] Ukyou: [quickly gets dressed] Better go deal with Mr. Saotome. ********** [We see Gosunkugi's house. He and Akemi are curled up together on his bed. There is a line of salt around the bed and the bed is covered with a bed sheet with about fifty different runes drawn on it with crayon. The windows are sealed with Elder Signs, and the door has furniture piled up against it. Two water pistols lie on the endtable just outside the circle of salt. The closet door opens, and the Bishonen Kitsune (the male member of the married pair of Kitsune) steps out. He quickly darts forward and grabs the pistols, then levels them at the bed.] Bishonen Kitsune: Get up! Should have put the pistols inside the line of salt. Gosunkugi: [very muffled. He is face down in the bed] Go away. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for violators will be toad. Bishonen Kitsune: Get up, kid. The game is over, the jig is up. Akemi: [also face down and muffled] Come back in the morning. Bishonen Kitsune: Last warning, or I shoot. Gosunkugi: [muffled] Go right ahead. [He fires at the bed. Sheets get wet, but nothing happens. Then twin streams of water fire out from under the bed. He turns into a mouse. Akemi and Gosunkugi crawl out] Akemi: See, I told you rigging up the dummies would work! [There is a flash of light and the mouse turns back into the Bishonen Kitsune] BK: That doesn't work well on a shape-changer, you know. Akemi: [points at the closet] Ack! Type III demon! BK: They get mad when you call them that, you know. But I'm not dumb enough to look; who keeps demons in their closet? Gosunkugi: I guess this calls for plan 2. BK: What? Gosunkugi: [starts to reach into his pocket] I pull out the Ultimate Nullifier and shoot you. BK: [laughs] You'd die too. Gosukugi: Maybe I don't care. BK: Go ahead, kid. I'll take my chances. Gosunkugi: [pulls out a piece of gum] Get back! BK: [laughs loudly] Tell me another one. Gosunkugi: Then Akemi kicks you in the head while you're looking at me. [*WHAM!* Akemi is in the air, doing one of those impossible anime multiple kicks all over BK's head while hovering in one place. *Thunk*, he collapses] Gosunkugi: Good thing he didn't bring his wife. [The bedroom door opens and the Bishoujo Kitsune steps through, carrying an Uzi] Bishoujo Kitsune: He did. I just stopped to raid the refrigerator. Gosunkugi: Hey, how did you get past the Elder Sign on the door? Bishoujo Kitsune: You're the first person who ever mistook me for Cthulhu, kid. *************** [We see the Tendo house War Council, which now includes Soun, Akane, Ukyou, Hitomi, Shinnosuke, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Susan] Shinnosuke: My mother is WHAT? Susan: Delirium. One of the endless. Shinnosuke: Grandpa's told some crazy stories about her, but... Hitomi: I find this disturbingly plausible. Shinnosuke: So this makes me a demi-god? Susan: I have no idea what the going term is. Something like that. Anyway, you can go into Desire's fortress with me, because she can't risk you dying. Akane: I want to go! Susan: That would be a BAD idea. Akane: [frowns] Why? Hitomi: Besides the likelihood of your instant death? Nabiki: Because Desire would tapdance on your head. And she already showed she could play you like a violin, Akane. [They glare at each other] Kasumi: Hmm. If Akane is still invulnerable from the Styx, then she might be a good choice to send. Nabiki: We need someone stronger willed, or at least less vulnerable to Desire. Anyone know any Buddhist monks? [Susan glances over at Kasumi, who looks scared] Ukyou: [sighs] Nope. And I think I'd be too vulnerable too, although I hate to admit it. [turns to Shinnosuke] I'm sorry, Shin-chan. Shinnosuke: [leans over and kisses her cheek] That's okay, Ukyou-chan. I know you want to go. I'd want to go if you did. Akane: [thinking] He kissed her? They must be getting pretty close. [smiles] Nabiki: I think I have the willpower, but to be honest, magic scares me sometimes, and this is one of those times. [thinks] What kind of limits does Desire have? Susan: She can tempt, but she can't MAKE you want something. But if you have something you desire, she has the knack for inflaming that to the point where you fall easily into her power. And she can't remove desires from people. Not that she would want to. Kasumi: I don't suppose she can be driven off with a cross? Susan: It takes strong faith, and that's rare. And in her own fortress, you'd just about have to be one of the Apostles or Buddha or something to get away with it. Kasumi: Is she bound by the promises she makes? Susan: Most of the spirit supernaturals are. A freely given oath cannot be broken by us. Just be very careful about how you phrase it. [eyes narrow] You aren't thinking of... Kasumi: I suppose she'd be pretty bad at resisting magic which makes you want something. Susan: Actually, I think that you can't fight fire with fire in this case. Kasumi: No passion pancakes? Susan: [shudders] I think that would be an exceedingly bad idea. Nabiki: Hmm. Is there some way we can summon our friends out of her fortress? Conjure them the way you'd conjure a genie or something? Susan: It's hard to conjure up mortals; the usual spells weren't really designed for people. Although I am pretty good at conjuring. [thinks] We'd have to make her come to us. Which given she wants revenge on me and probably Kasumi...ahah! Anyone here good at taunting? [Everyone looks at Akane] Akane: Hey! I only insult people if they deserve it! Nabiki: Well, Desire certainly deserves it. Susan: Okay, here's the plan. ************* [We see Ryouga, Gosunkugi, Akemi, and Ranma all strung up in Desire's stronghold. She is paying off the Kitsunes] Desire: Here's your blooming century lotus. [hands the flower to the Bishoujo Kitsune] BoK: Woo! Finally! Now, to conquer Earth! Bishonen Kitsune (BNK): Try not to have a heart attack from joy, dear. Thank you, Desire. Desire: No, thank you. Good day. [gestures and they vanish] Gosunkugi: Why are you doing this to us? Desire: You thwarted me long ago, and I never properly got even. Now, I will. [pauses] Once I think of a good revenge. Akemi: [sarcastically] In 50,000 years of planning, you haven't come up with one yet? Desire: I didn't devote twenty four hours a day for millenia to hating you. Even I can't be that obsessive. Not every day. Ryouga: Cut me loose and I'll show you obsessive! Desire: [turns into Akane] Like how you kept climbing into my bed. Ryouga: You're not really Akane! Desire-Akane: She wants to geld you, now. Maybe I should do it for her. Ryouga: ... Akemi: Look, let them go. You can kill me, but Ranma and Ryouga have nothing to do with this. Desire: [turns back to normal] They have everything to do with it. Ranma played a role in your escaping my power. And Ryouga is my perfect key to break Akane forever. Hmm, maybe I should take your form and have my way with her. And make you watch. It's what you really want, anyway. Ryouga: [screams] IT IS NOT WHAT I WANT! Desire: I know what people want. It's part of my job. Just like Ranma wishes he could have all four of his fiancees at once. Ranma: I do not! Desire: It makes him feel important to have so many women after him. He waited so long to choose one because he wanted more than one, but knew he could only do it as long as he didn't choose. Gosunkugi: [sighs] I'm sorry you're stuck here, Akemi. Akemi: It's not your fault. Desire, when we get free, I... Desire: No one and nothing can escape my fortress, or even enter it against my will. Ranma: Then how did Ryouga get in? Desire: I had no need to keep him out. If I had actually WANTED to bar his entry, he wouldn't be here. Ryouga: I bet if I could move, I could get lost, and even you couldn't stop me. Desire: [laughs] I don't think so. Ryouga: Unchain me, and we'll see. Desire: [gestures. The chains vanish] Let's see you do it. Ryouga: [runs straight at Desire, misses her, and goes right out the door] Hah! I tricked you! [passes out of sight] Desire: Not really. You're still... [pauses] He's gone. He's left. He...that's not possible! Ranma: Just this once, I gotta admit to envying Ryouga. Desire: [stares into space] There you are! I'm going to GET you! [vanishes] ************** [We see Ryouga come running into the Tendo Dojo, where everyone is running around drawing an elaborate pattern on the floor with chalk] Ryouga: You shouldn't have...hey! Nabiki: [sees him] RYOUGA! [runs over to him and hugs him] How did you get away from Desire? Ryouga: My getting lost curse has always been more powerful than any of my desires. Although actually I was just trying to trick Desire to get in a free hit. [Desire appears in a non-poof of non-smoke] Desire: There you are! Susan: Shinnosuke! Strike now! Shinnosuke: [who is wearing the helmet and carrying the spear that the Dragon sent to Ryouga in an earlier episode, charges Desire] Weren't we going to wait until... Susan: Just do it! Desire: [spins and produces a sword from nowhere herself] Spear and Magic Helmet. How quaint. [begins to sword fight with Shinnosuke] Not bad. Not good enough, though. [knocks the spear aside and tries to run Shinnosuke through. Instead, she simply pushes him backwards] Bathed in the Styx, eh? Well, there's ways to get around that as Hercules once demonstrated. [grapples Shinnosuke and begins to strangle him] Shinnosuke: You're...strong... Desire: So who bathed you in the Styx? Akane: He fell in with me. Everyone jump her! [Ryouga, Ukyou, Hitomi, and Akane dogpile Desire while Susan, Nabiki and Kasumi keep up drawing the chalk pattern] Desire: [easily bats Hitomi aside, sending her through a wall, then punts Ukyou through the roof] You people are good, but I've been around longer than your civilization. [gets nailed with the spear by Shinnosuke, who he lost his grip on earlier] Hmm. Not much point in sticking around for this pointless fight really. I'll just take Ryouga and Akane's soul and be gone. Akane: What? Desire: [holds up a contract] You signed away your soul to me earlier. Akane: I...I was insane! Desire: Sadly, the insanity defense doesn't apply to soul- selling contracts. Luckily for me. Akane: But...but... Susan: Everyone withdraw! NOW! [They all run back to where Susan is, except for Akane, who finds herself unable to move] Desire: Well, I have tortures to conduct and plenty of time to deal with the rest of you. Let's go, Akane. [nothing happens] What? Nabiki: [points at the floor] We were going to try to summon you into this, but since you were nice enough to oblige us... Desire: Release me at once! Nabiki: [holds up a long contract] Sign this first. [throws Desire a copy] Desire: [reads through it] This is ridiculous! I won't sign this! Nabiki: You want to sit in that circle for eternity? Desire: I'll escape. You pathetic mortals can't hold me for long! You'll never get your friends back as long as I'm trapped here! Never! Susan: [vanishes and returns a few seconds later with Ranma, Gosunkugi, and Akemi. She sags to her knees] Really? Desire: You...you...I WILL DESTROY YOU! [rushes at the side of the circle, but is thrown back] Let me go, or I'll kill your precious Akane. Ranma: No! [rushes forward] Susan: Don't enter the circle, Ranma! She'll just trap you too! Desire: Hmm. Perhaps I'll make you all watch me have my way with her. Ranma: [froths] You BASTARD! Desire: Hmm. Akane, do a strip tease. Akane: [starts to grind to an imaginary beat, then tosses off her blouse] Help me! Shinnosuke: AKANE! [takes the spear and charges right at Desire, impaling her] DIE! DIE! DIE! Desire: [pulls the spear out and tosses Shinnosuke aside] Good. But not good enough. That's only an imitation Gungnir, not the real thing. [stalks over to Shinnosuke and begins to strangle him] It DID hurt. [That is simply too much for our little band of hotheads. Everyone dogpiles Desire again. In seconds, unconscious martial artists are tossed everywhere. Akane gets hit in mid-strip and falls down when Ranma gets tossed at her. Being as invulnerable as Shinnosuke has certain advantages. She continues her routine once she gets back up while Desire swiftly chokes Shinnosuke to the point of unconsciousness. Kasumi, meanwhile, runs out of the room] Desire: Hmm. You take longer to asphyxiate than most people would. Susan: [growling] Perhaps because he's Delirium's son. Desire: [gets big eyes and tosses him to one side as if he was a poisonous snake] Well, that was just a little too close for comfort. [pauses and her wounds close up] Now I have more of your friends. Release me. I'll break out eventually. Susan: Not if you're weakened enough, you won't. You can't regain your strength while bound. Desire: And who else is going to fight me? Who here can hurt me enough to trap me? Susan: I can. [Kasumi runs back in, now holding a frying pan] Desire: With that pathetic mortal body? Susan: I am a spirit, housed in flesh. My strength is dwindling, but I can tell they hurt you more than you admit. Now, I will hurt you more than you can bear. [turns to Kasumi] Pray for me. Kasumi: Susan... [Susan charges forward, becoming a being of blue light, lifting the spear that Shinnosuke is still clutching, which transforms into a ray of pure white light] Susan: This is for everything you ever did to me! [hurls the spear at Desire and her entire essence flows into it. It strikes Desire, who is flung across the circle and now looks crispy charred like Wile E. Coyote after an effort to use dynamite. Akane is still doing the striptease nearby; she is now down to her underwear] Desire: Damn you, Debbiegibson. Susan: [just a voice, rapidly fading] My name is Raguela. Goodbye, my friends... Kasumi: Susan! [stares angrily at Desire] You ARE EVIL! Desire: [coughs] Where would humanity be without Desire? And if I am evil, it is you who has made me so. I did not create myself. [calmly] You must free me. The results of me being confined here would be catastrophic if it lasted for long. Kasumi: [raises the frying pan] I guess we're going to get to find out how catastrophic it will be when I bash in your skull. [shivers] Because I'm going to KILL you. Desire: [staggers to her feet] Having turned you into a homocidal maniac would make me happy if I wasn't the target, but... [smiles faintly] Come and get me. Kasumi: [raises the frying pan over her head like a sword] DIE! [charges forward, physically shaking with a mixture of fear, rage, and disgust at her own anger] DIE! Desire: [to Akane] Kill her. Akane: No! I won't! [Despite her protestations, her body leaps at Kasumi, disarming her in a few seconds, then taking her frying pan and raising it high to bash Kasumi in the head. She is sweating intensely, frozen in mid- swing] No! I won't! I won't! [Ranma moans nearby and begins to stir. We see Nabiki staring into the circle, clearly hesitating] Nabiki: [thinking] If I go in and fight, it won't do any good, but...Kasumi...Akane...Oh God or Buddha or Elvis or whatever is watching over us...DO SOMETHING! Don't let Kasumi die! I'll...I'll...I'll give you my first million! First two million! Well, starting from today. I already spent the...um, anyway... Ranma: [starts to sit up] Let...Akane...go. Desire: Back off boy, or I'll make her kill herself. Kasumi: [blinks] You can't. You don't own her body. You might have tricked her into selling you her soul, but the soul is not the same thing as the body. Fight it, Akane! [Akane turns very, very slowly towards Desire] Desire: [pulls out the contract again] No, it says pretty clearly that [Nabiki begins sneaking towards Desire with a very desperate look on her face] she sold herself to me, body and soul. [pauses] Hmm. Why did I put this clause about eight-tracks in here? [peers intently at the contract] Kasumi: [leaps at Desire to grab the contract] You can't buy someone's soul! Desire: [holds the contract up out of Kasumi's reach, then winces] Ugh, I hate pain. Naughty, naughty. [holds Kasumi at arm's length with the other arm] You won't surprise me this time. How you banished me with that frying pan...I still don't understand. Nabiki: [leaps up, grabs the contract from Desire's hands, and eats it, then coughs and spits] BLEAH. That tasted more disgusting that paper usually does. Desire: Hey! Fine! I'll just kill you all! [starts to strangle Kasumi] Akane: NO!!!!! [charges at Desire, pulling a mallet from nowhere and bringing it down on Desire's head. Desire's eyes widen and he/she/it loses his/her/its grip on Kasumi] Desire: Damn rule 52. [quietly topples over] Ranma: [rubbing his head] Rule 52? Gosunkugi: [waking up] Nothing can stand before the wrath of a woman with a mallet. Or a frying pan. Or some other suitable instrument of beating in the head. Ranma: [stands up] Is it over? Nabiki: [shakes her head] We still gotta get Desire to sign a contract or something. We can't keep her imprisoned here forever, so unless we kill her, getting her to bind herself is our only other option. *********** [Somewhat later, we see Desire signing a contract. She doesn't look too happy about it. Everyone is lying around looking battered.] Dream: [walks into the dojo with Delirium] If you like, I can keep a copy of that for you, Kasumi. Kasumi: [starts] ... Delirium: [runs into the circle, over to Shinnosuke] SHin-cHAn YOu'rE oKAY I WAS so wORrIed, WHy AREn't yoU SAYIng aNytHing HELLO IS AnyoNe hoMe Hey wHO duMPed you IN the STYx? Shinnosuke: [mumbles] That you, Hitomi? Kasumi: [hands the contract to Dream] You'd best keep this. I don't know how to...um...register it in Immortal law court or whatever. Dream: [reads through it] Hmm. Quite thorough. [blinks] Hmm. Desire, you didn't really read through this, did you. Desire: What? I'm rather in a hurry to leave. I need to rest and recuperate. Dream: [laughs and gestures, making a copy of it] Here, read it. Desire: [begins to page through it] ... Kasumi: [breaks the circle by sweeping away a bit of it with Shinnosuke's magic broom] There you go. Free to go. Desire: [turns to Nabiki] And how exactly am I supposed to implant the knowlege of the entire Kama Sutra in Ryouga's brain? It isn't big enough. Ryouga: ... Nabiki: [blushes] Hey, you're the god...goddess..whatever! It should be EASY! Kasumi: [blinks] Let me see a copy of that. [starts paging through the contract] Oh my. ***************** [We see a MASSIVE feast in progress in the Tendo Dojo proper. The Tendos, Hibikis, Saotomes, Ukyou, Shinnosuke, Hitomi, Gosunkugi, Akemi, and yes, all of the Endless (Almost all, anyway), are here. Desire has been dressed up in a French Maid outfit and looks quite disgruntled, while Destiny is standing off to one side, simply observing. Death looks rather amused by all this, and even Despair looks less grim than usual. Only Destruction cannot be seen anywhere. Many, many simultaneous conversations are going on] Shinnosuke: But Mom, why did you leave us? Delirium: I HAD TO make tHe flOWErs BLUe. I AsKeD yOuR FATher tO go BUt he HAD to gUARD tHe hApPy BIG animals. I mEANt to cOMe BAck but THE sEa Was TOo GrEen. [sighs] I'd aLmOst FORGoTten I'm A bAd mOther wOUld You LIKE to bE puRPLe? Ukyou: So does he forget things because of the curse on his dad or because you're his mother? Delirium: YEs. Ukyou: ... Delirium: I DIDn't MEAn tO mAKe hIS fatHER fORGet evERytHINg but He stAYEd wITh ME tOo loNG becAUSe we lOVeD EAch otHER and tHEN he STARTED forgetting evErYtHinG aND I dIdN't Know WHAt to DO and tHEN I foRgOt to COme bacK THIs FoOd Is gOoD. [munches on the food] Desire, YOu reALLy cOOk wELl. Desire: [frowns] I'm just being forced to be the serving maid. [shakes his/her head] I can't believe I signed that stupid thing...cater five family meals. Feh. Shinnosuke: You just...you don't seem old enough to be...a mother. Delirium: [briefly becomes an adult, then reverts to normal] I AM what I nEEd To Be. Ukyou: Is there some way for Shinnosuke to stop forgetting things? Delirium: I can't EvEn stop mysElf from FORGeTTING thiNGs. I HaD FoRGoTTeN aBouT You aND YouR FaTHeR uNTiL I WaS ReMiNDeD aND I DoN'T KNoW HoW LoNG THaT WiLL LaST. [sighs] I knOw I'm nOt mUch Of A mOther. WOuld TUrning YOu INto A DOve HElp? Shinnosuke: [reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ribbon] Try...try this. Delirium: [makes a bow in her hair] OH, HoW vErY pReTtY, thANk yOU! Shinnosuke: I mean, tell it to use its magic. Delirium: Use YOUr maGIC, ribBON! [There is a shimmering and suddenly her hair stops being a multicolored mess and her eyes both turn the same color. They widen tremendously and she stares in shock] I remember. [her voice no longer has the same changeable, sing-song quality] I remember everything. [Five heads crane around and stare at her] Desire: ... Death: ... Destiny: [simply smiles] Dream: I wouldn't have thought that possible. Make the most of it while you can, sister. Despair: For nothing lasts forever. Delirium: [hugs Shinnosuke] Thank you. For just a moment, I am who once I was. Thank you, my child. Shinnosuke: You can use it once a day, for fifteen minutes. Delirium: If I can manage to hold onto it. Likely, it will end up as a butterfly or something. But for a few minutes at least, I am Delight once more. [stands up] Come and dance with me, my son. [Music starts up and they begin to dance together around the tables. Shinnosuke is slow and unsure, while Delight is swift and graceful. Sweet scents fill the room, and everyone visibly relaxes. Conversation picks up as they dance around the room, then several of the other couples present begin to dance. Delirium, for just a moment, sees Destruction across the room, smiling at her, and then he is gone. Soon, the room is awhir with bodies whirling to the music, and laughter and peace settles upon Nerima for just one short moment] *************** [We see Ukyou, Hitomi, and Shinnosuke walking back to Ukyou's shop] Hitomi: Grandpa's gonna freak if your Mom takes you up on that offer to come stay with you and him. Shinnosuke: [laughs] Well, the forest can't get much weirder than it already is. Ukyou: [nervously] Will you be going home now? Shinnosuke: I agreed to help Gosunkugi get his father back. Then I'll have to go back to Ryugenzawa. [pauses] You'll come visit us when you can, won't you, Ukyou- chan? And I can come visit you. Ukyou: [very nervously] I..do you...I saw how you... Shinnosuke: I'm not much good at subtlety, Ukyou-chan. Can you be more clear? I don't understand. Ukyou: When you saw Akane was in danger, you... Shinnosuke: I...I would have done the same thing if it had been you. It just wasn't. I...I love you, Ukyou-chan. But that doesn't mean I can just forget how I felt about Akane. [pauses] Forget where we're going...now that's another story. Where are we? Hitomi: [rolls her eyes] We're on our way to the Emerald City. Shinnosuke: Cool. You can ask the Wizard for a brain, Hitomi. Or maybe a heart. Hitomi: [waves her broom] SHINNOSUKE!!!!! [chases him off down the street] ************* [We see Akemi and Gosunkugi, back at the Dojo, talking to Dream] Dream: I release any claim I might have on you passed on to me by my predecessor in this position. May your life be long and happy, Akemi. Akemi: Do you think Desire will really back off? Dream: She has to. That Nabiki girl was rather thorough. Desire can't even enter Japan unless Nabiki approves it. [laughs faintly] Not much chance of that. Gosunkugi: I'm just afraid she'll find a loophole to meddle with our trip to China. Dream: I think she'll probably be wanting to b e alone for a while after this. Good luck on your trip. Akemi: Thanks. We're going to need help. ************** [We see Kasumi and Desire busily cleaning up the mess from the meal. We can see Despair standing off quietly in one corner,watching them.] Desire: [mumbles] This is pathetic. Kasumi: Oh shut up. At least you're not dead. Desire: If you people had somehow killed me, the results would have been horrible. [the stack of plates he is trying to carry tip over on him] This is horrible enough. Kasumi: [angrily] Just pile them in the kitchen. I've had enough of you for five life times. Desire: It's mutual. [hauls them off to the kitchen] Kasumi: [sits down, buries her face in her hands, and cries] Delirium: [wanders in] Why are you crying so sadly when you won? Kasumi: My friend is dead. We screwed up her plan and she had to die in order for us to...And I couldn't do anything about it! [cries more] And the worst part was that her sacrifice didn't even stop Desire! It took... [pauses in her crying] Where did Ranma get that box anyway? Delirium: [puts a hand on Kasumi's arm] Should I help you to forget maybe if you were a cute little bunny and the ocean was purple... Kasumi: I don't want to forget! I want my friend back! Delirium: I'm sorry I can only make people THINK the dead came back to life. Was she nice? Kasumi: [quietly] She gave her life for a group of people she had just met. She was very nice. I...I couldn't have done it in her place. Delirium: You should sleep you'll feel better. Kasumi: I can't sleep. Delirium: Yes, you can. [Kasumi slumps over] That much for you I can do. ************** [We see Ryouga talking to his parents, Nabiki, and Mr. Tendo in the living room] Ken: Well, that was much nicer than our last visit. [pauses] How exactly did we get here? Ryoko: That nice pale lady with the Ankh came and got us. Soun: The goth woman? Ken: So when will you be trying the marital tests, Nabiki? Nabiki: Maybe when we're closer to getting married. It's going to be a few years. Ken: Well, we must be going. If we can find our ride. Ryoko: Where's the bathroom? I need to freshen up. Ken: Good idea. Nabiki: [points] That way. [Ken and Ryoko go the other way, vanishing out of sight through a doorway] Soun: [points the direction they just went] Actually, the bathroom is...oh. Nabiki: [smiles] I'm starting to get the hang of this. ************* [We see Ranma and Akane tucked away in a corner of the house] Ranma: [kisses Akane] I gotta go. My parents are waiting. Akane: Ranma, do you think I should... Ranma: Should what? Akane: [sighs] I nearly killed Ryouga and my sister. I need to apologize. Ranma: Yeah, good idea. [sighs] Too bad Nabiki didn't put a clause about getting my family back in our house in that contract. Akane: Maybe if I ask really nicely, Nabiki will let you move back in. Ranma: I sure hope so. [kisses Akane again] Goodnight, Akane. Akane: Goodnight, Ranma. ************* [We see Akane on fire. No, actually, it's just a gray misty void where Susan is floating, looking bored. She is naked, not that anyone can tell] Susan: I would die the one day that Death falls behind schedule. [sighs] [A pale figure strides out of the darkness. It is Dream] Dream: Well, you're not dead yet, for one thing. Susan: I threw everything I had at Desire! Dream: Not quite. You are weak, very weak, too weak to do more than talk, too weak even to make mortals hear you. Spirit beings do not easily die, Raguela, although they can be dispersed across the cosmos, or fade until they are too weak to do anything, or be consumed by other spirits. Still, unless you gain a new patron, you might as well be dead. Susan: I'd rather be dead than trapped alone here for eternity. Dream: That is why I have come; to offer you a chance to work for me. Susan: [big eyes] What...you'd hire me? But I'm so...I mean...I haven't...um, I'm not too experienced at...uh... Dream: Is that a yes? Susan: YES! I don't care if I have to make dreams of Gerber baby food for six month old infants! I just...why are you hiring me? Dream: It will remind Desire to not meddle in my realm. And I could use an expert on angels and demons. Susan: [stretches out her hand] Let's go, sir. Dream: [reaches into a fold in his robes and pulls out a handful of tiny five pointed stars and blows them at Susan. They whirl around her] I name you Elu-Raguela, the Dream of Angels. [The stars become bursts of light, and the light suffuses her. Wings of light sprout from her back and her eyes shine like tiny stars. It is hard to tell if she is clothed or naked; if she is dressed, she is dressed in light] Elu-Raguela: Thank you, Dream. Dream: Thank you. [takes her hand and they vanish] ***************** [The next day, we see Dr. Tofu at the Tendo house. He is in the living room. Akane and Soun are there also] Dr. Tofu: She hasn't woken up since some time last night? Akane: Yeah, we found her asleep in the dojo in the middle of cleaning up. Dr. Tofu: And she doesn't respond to any effort to wake her up? Soun: Nope. Even screaming didn't work. Dr. Tofu: Show me where you found her, exactly, then I'll go up and take a look at her. ************ [Things are slow at Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. Shinnosuke is upstairs with Hitomi, calling some relatives who can send a message to his grandfather. Ranma and Ukyou are lounging around downstairs] Ranma: So I take it Shinnosuke is...um...officially your boyfriend now? Ukyou: [stares at the table] Uh, yeah. Ranma: [looking off at the front door] I guess it's gonna suck pretty hard when he goes back to Ryugenzawa. Ukyou: A LOT. [looks over at Ranma] You don't...um... Ranma: I don't what? Ukyou: [twiddles her fingers nervously] I mean...Uh...I'm scared about having a long-distance relationship. I want to make this work, but I just...I wanna finish school and stuff, and everything. Ranma: Just take it one day at a time. I know I can't plan nothing in advance with the way my life whacks out all the time, so I try not to worry about the future. If you love each other, you can find a way. [turns and smiles at her] Just remember the forest is full of traps, and you can't rely on him to show you where they are, because he's already forgotten. Ukyou: I can't believe his mother is...I mean, she's a...which makes him... Ranma: As long as he doesn't start turning into her, you'll be okay. Ukyou: [laughs] It'll be interesting when my Dad meets his Mom. Ranma: As long as they don't get married and you two end up like the Brady Bunch. Ukyou: ... Ranma: [laughs] Not much chance of that. I hope. Ukyou: Let's not tempt fate. ************** [We see Dr. Tofu, Akane, and Soun in Kasumi's room. Akane and Soun look nervous, but Tofu seems to be fine, though tense] Tofu: [taking her pulse] Strange, there isn't anything physically wrong, and her chi balance is okay. Unless something is effecting her mind... [looks around the room and spots a two foot sphere of iridescent basalt sitting in a large cosmetics box. A bottle of purple hair dye sits next to it] Urk. Akane: What? Tofu: Kasumi doesn't normally have Cthonian eggs in her room, does she? Akane: What? Soun: Ever since the guppy disaster, Kasumi hasn't had a pet. Tofu: [picks up the sphere] Well, here's our culprit. Soun: A bowling ball put her to sleep? Akane: Well, I can see how BOWLING would put someone to sleep. Tofu: When someone steals Cthonian eggs, there tends to be bad consequences. I can't think of why Kasumi would have one of these. [looks at the purple hair dye] Unless maybe Shampoo gave it to her for some reason. Akane: So what do we do? Tofu: I'll go consult my copy of the Seven Cryptic Books of Hsan. I think they have the zip code for G'harne, the city of the Cthonians. Then we can mail this egg back to them before they come level Tokyo with an earthquake. Soun: [blanches] They'd level Tokyo just because ONE egg was stolen from them? Tofu: Subtlety isn't one of their strong points. Normally, when they come for you, they use their powers to make the target gradually less able to move, until finally the person can't leave the egg's vicinity at all. Something must have happened to make her more vulnerable to this, but I can't think of what. Anyway, I'll take care of this. Soun: Shouldn't we warn the city of its imminent destruction? Tofu: I don't think the city government would listen to me telling them that a bunch of earth-quake causing subterranean squid were going to level the city. But feel free to call them. Akane: Are you SURE this will appease them? Tofu: Well, I'll try that recipie for Cthonian Snacks in the first appendix of the Seven Cryptical Books of Hsan as well. Supposedly, they can't resist them. Like catnip. Soun: If cats caused earthquakes, I'd be wary of giving them catnip. ********** [We see Nabiki eating lunch with Ryouga on the back porch. Akane nervously opens the door] Akane: I'm sorry. I just...I shouldn't have...I'm still not happy with you, Ryouga, but I shouldn't have tried to kill you. Ryouga: [quietly] I'm not too happy with me either. I'm sorry that I snuck into your bed all those times. I was just so...I tried to stop, but I was too weak. I tricked you and you deserve better. Akane: [staring at the ground] And I'm sorry I got mad at you too, Nabiki. Nabiki: [stares at the ground] We all make mistakes. I shouldn't have started throwing people out of the house. I just...It's not easy keeping this family afloat. Akane: I'm going to try and get some kind of part-time job to help out. I know I haven't really contributed much like that; I never really thought about where the money came from. I just...you should have said something, Nabiki. Nabiki: [gets up and walks over to Akane] I tried, but you never listened when you were younger. [hugs Akane] I love you, sis. Akane: [hugs her back] I love you too. [thinks a moment] We need to recruit more students for daddy. Nabiki: Hmm, we could do some pictures of you in action and make a recruiting poster. And Ranma. That would bring in the students. [starts blocking off photos in the air] Yeah, we could put an action shot of you breaking bricks here and Ranma and Ryouga going at it...you'd pose for me, wouldn't you, Ryouga? Ryouga: I would be glad to help. [looks over nervously at Akane, who isn't looking at him] I should be doing my part to help support the dojo, since I basically live here. Once school starts again, I'll be able to help more. Nabiki: Okay, let's see...what else to put on the poster... *********** [We see Ukyou, Shinnosuke, Ranma, Genma, and Hitomi hard at work at Ucchan's restaurant. Hayao enters] Hayao: Hey, Ukyou-sam...Ukyou-san! Got a minute? Ukyou: [nervously] Sure. Hayao: [comes over to her] Wanna go to the movies with me on Thursday? Ukyou: I'm going to China. Hayao: [frowns] Again? Ukyou: [really nervously] I have to...look, I really AM going to China, but...I'm seeing someone now. Hayao: [looks over at Shinnosuke and Ranma and frowns] I see. Ukyou: [sighs] I'm sorry. You're a nice guy, I just... [stares at the ground] I'm sorry. Hayao: Don't worry. I'll be fine. [leaves. We hear screaming outside] Shinnosuke: [comes over] Is there supposed to be screaming outside? Ukyou: No. [sighs] Don't worry about it, honey. Shinnosuke: Just making sure. Some old lady threw water on me the other day and I thought she was trying to curse me or something, but she was just...anyway, I can't remember what she was actually doing, but if I hadn't...um, I'll just go back to work now. [goes off] Ukyou: [smiles faintly] Something like that. ************* [We see Akane and Ranma sitting together under the night sky on the roof of the Dojo] Akane: I need to apologize to your grandparents but... Ranma: [puts an arm around her] Pop's been claiming they eat human flesh again? Akane: [laughs] More or less. Ranma: I'll go with you, if you want. Akane: Thanks. I just...I'm not good at apologizing. Ranma: Well, I ain't the person to ask for help. I'm not too good at it either. [sighs] I really am sorry I didn't tell you about Ryouga, I just...I really hate breaking promises. Akane: I know. It's something I USUALLY like about you. [kisses his cheek] Just don't do it again. I mean...you can understand why I got mad, don't you? Ranma: [nods] Yeah. It made me mad too, what he was doing, but I just...I dunno. I hate breaking promises and since it was my fault he got cursed... Akane: I dunno if I'll ever like Ryouga as much as I used to, but I guess I got all my anger out. [sighs] I just can't believe he just...he kept doing it. It just doesn't seem like him. Ranma: When you love someone, you do stupid stuff. [pauses] I don't mean you specifically, I mean... Akane: [hugs Ranma] I know what you mean. Just...are there any other secrets? Anything I should know about? Ranma: [thinks hard] I can't think of nothing. No more curses, fiancees, or evil elves. [pauses] Did I tell you about the weird book that Santa gave me? It sent me through time or something to see the history of Jyusenkyo. Pretty funky, but then everything in my life is like that. [laughs] I can't remember what Santa gave you. Akane: A cookbook. Ranma: The one you've gotten all your recent cooking from? Akane: [nods, smiling] Good food, eh? Ranma: Yeah, keep this up and you'll be a great cook. Akane: [smiles] Is it weird for me to find that to be romantic? Ranma: That's about as romantic as I get. Akane: [giggles and kisses Ranma] That's about right. Ranma: I've been thinking about my curse. Akane: What about it? Ranma: Been trying to figure out what I'm supposed to learn from it. Besides the fact that cute women can get free food pretty easily. Akane: [smirks] Unless your father created Juysenkyo, I don't think so. Ranma: I just...I just don't get what I'm supposed to learn. Maybe if I lived completely as a girl for a while, I might learn something but... [shudders] Akane: [frowns] What's wrong with living as a girl? Ranma: If I waggled my fingers and you turned into a guy for six months, would you like it? Akane: [pauses] No. Ranma: Exactly. I just don't get it. What I'm supposed to get from this. Akane: Well, when you DO get it, you'll be free. Ranma: I can't even figure out HOW I'm supposed to learn whatever I gotta learn. [lies back and stares at the stars] And what the heck would Mousse learn from being a duck? Akane: If he already knew that, he wouldn't have had to become one. [lies back and snuggles up to Ranma] Maybe...maybe your curse is trying to tell you to marry Kunou. [giggles] Ranma: Bleah. ************ [We see Kodachi busily practicing a gymnastics routine in her garden under the stars. Kunou approaches her] Kunou: Can you see well enough to do that? Kodachi: I'm training my night vision. [vaults off a pole for growing tomatoes onto a small bush, then backflips up onto Kunou's shoulders] Are you excited about college, brother dear? Kunou: I'm trying to decide whether or not to propose to Akane or the pig-tailed girl before I depart. Or perhaps both. However, that would be bigamy, which would cause complications. [frowns] What do you think? Kodachi: It is always reassuring to know that someone is crazier than myself. What about that cheerleader girl? Kunou: Even I do not have enough love to spread among three different women. [pauses] Could you please get off my shoulders? Kodachi: [leaps to the ground] I suggest you marry someone I don't want to see dead. That's my advice. Kunou: [frowns] I could say the same to you. Kodachi: The difference is that you'd never succeed in killing my future groom, brother dear. Have a good night! [bounces off among the plants] Kunou: I would ask Father, but he would shave my head as a reply. And he's in Hawaii anyway. But who can I talk to? [shakes his head as he begins to walk towards the house] It is truly a pity that I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, have no peers worthy of me. [sits down and sighs] No truly worthy foes, only evil sorcerors. No true peers and no true... [sighs more loudly] A madwoman for a sister and an insane father. Sasuke: [pops up] And your devoted follower! Kunou: Indeed. You have served me with all your devotion and skill. At least I have a worthy servant. So who do you think I should marry? Sasuke: Akane. You do not even know the name of the pig-tailed girl. I'm not even sure if she really exists. Have you ever noticed she bears a certain resemblance to Saotome? Kunou: She looks NOTHING like Saotome! [glares angrily at Sasuke] Sasuke: She may be but a demon summoned by him to beguile you, with the ways she appears and vanishes. Also, marriage to Akane would unite you with a long line of skilled martial artists. And Nabiki would have to give you the family discount. Kunou: While money is not an issue that a samurai should worry about, I see some of your points, Sasuke. Very well, on the morrow, I shall propose to Akane. Sasuke: Would you like me to get your suit ready? Kunou: Verily. *********** [We see Gosunkugi and Akemi packing various supplies] Gosunkugi: [reading from a list] Eye of newt. Akemi: Check. [puts a small bottle in a large fishing tackle box] Gosunkugi: [still reading] Toe of gingrich. Akemi: [puts a wrapped three inch long cylinder in another compartment of the tackle box] Check. Gosunkugi: Six ounces of poisoned dragon's liver. Akemi: [puts another small bottle in] Check. Gosunkugi: Five gallon drum of synthetic blood of Cthulhu. Akemi: [hands on her hips] How am I supposed to put a five gallon drum in a TACKLE BOX? Gosunkugi: Umm...just check and see if we have it. Akemi: [lifts a five gallon drum and reads the label] This is powdered milk. Gosunkugi: I had to rebottle it after it dissolved the lid of the last container. Try not to splash it around. Akemi: It's acidic? Gosunkugi: [hands her some sticky labels] Just label it. [Akemi does so] Ceramic cow. Akemi: [puts a small ceramic cow in one of the compartments] We leave tomorrow, right? Gosunkugi: Assuming there's no problems. [sighs and sits down] We need a plan, but I honestly have NO clue what to do besides try to fight our way in, which is almost certainly suicidal. I don't know ANYTHING about fighting. Or planning commando raids. Akemi: I'd suggest talking to Ranma. He knows about fighting. Gosunkugi: We need a strategist, but Cologne's the only strategist I know. [The doorbell rings. Gosunkugi goes to the door. There's a man from an express mail service at the door] Express Man: I have a letter for one Hikaru Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: Here you go. Express Man: And here you go. [hands him a large envelope sealed with a wax seal showing two crossed swords over a pair of scales] Sign here. Gosunkugi: [signs and hands it back] Hmm. Express Man: Have a nice day! [leaves] Akemi: [comes over] What is it? Gosunkugi: [opens and reads it] It's a summons from the Amazon Supreme Court. Akemi: [reads over Gosunkugi's shoulder] Dereliction of marital duties? Gosunkugi: Well, we won't have to fight our way IN. *********** [End of Chapter 14]