JOHN BILES (johnbil@wam.umd.edu) Subject: Ranma FanFic part 1 Status: RO Ranma 1/2: Putting Your Heart in the Right Place 1-5 Hey, I've been working on a Ranma Fan Fic for some time now. Thought I'd post it to the list to see if I can get any comments. I've broken it up into its component parts in each message. Please e-mail me at johnbil@wam.umd.edu with comments or post them to the list. [Screen opens on an overhead view of a city from about 200 feet up. It could be almost any city in Japan, although this is just one piece of it. Our view dives down towards one of the streets where a young Japaneese man is drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Those around him ignore him, stepping around him with a muttered insult or two. We are still too high up to hear more than the murmer of voices and the sounds of the city. He stands admidst his strange chalk scrawls holding a bell which he begins to ring while apparently dancing about and saying something. Our point of view dives towards him as the chalk bursts into flame setting his pants on fire. He screams, rolls about and dives into a water barrel, knocking it over onto a nearby fruitseller who begins to curse. We get closer and see the fruitseller pelting the young man with fruit as he runs away. It is Gosunkugi.] Gosunkugi: Another failed ritual? I don't understand. The book guaranteed it would work... The book! Where is it? [He looks about and sees the fruitseller toss a large scroll into a passing garbage truck.] Gosunkugi: No... [The garbage truck turns the corner out of sight. Gosunkugi continues to stare after it. His back is to the viewer. Then from behind him, a shadow falls across the sidewalk. It is the shadow of a woman in a dress with long hair and a broom in her hands. Next to her shadow is that of a cat licking its front right paw. The woman speaks.] Woman: So you think you are a wizard? [Gosunkugi turns around. We still can't see who he is talking to] Gosunkugi: I...No...Maybe...Well...Yes. I am. Who are you to ask a question of a wizard, Gaijin? Woman: Then why does your magic never work, Gosunkuki? Gosunkugi: I don't...How did you know my name? Woman: I am a true witch as you would know if you were a true wizard. Do you want to spend the rest of your life failing at magic, or do you want to learn the right way to do it? I warn you that it is not easy. Gosunkugi:[Staring with open eyes]. I...I..Well...Uh.. Woman: An answer please. Gosunkugi: Yes! I want to learn the secret of Magic! Woman: Then we shall begin at once... Title credits roll: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part One: The secret of Magic [Scene cuts to the steeply sloped roof of the Tendo dojo. We can see Gosunkugi and the shadow of the woman and her cat again. They are looking down on the backyard of the dojo, where Ranma-kun and Ryoga are fighting at the edge of the pond.] Gosunkugi: Why are we up here, sensei? I don't see the connection between them and magic. Ranma: ROARING LION BULLET! [A blast of energy strikes Ryoga, toppling him into the pond.] Woman-sensei: What was that, then? Gosunkugi: That was...That was..It..magic? Martial Arts is magic? I'm going to have to learn martial arts? Woman-sensei: Did I say that? Gosunkugi: Uh...no. [While Gosunkugi is facing his sensei, we see P-chan emerge from the pond. Ranma begins chasing P-chan] Woman-sensei: Magic comes in many forms. No user of magic is exactly like every other user. But the most important thing is why that person does magic. Why do you do magic, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi:I...[turns a little red]...to win the love of Tendo Akane. Woman-sensei: Why do you need to use magic for that? Why not profess your love to her directly? Gosunkugi{now beet red]: I...She...She is engaged to Saotome Ranma. I...we...she...uh... Woman-sensei: Is it right to force a woman to love you with magic? Gosunkugi [beet red, and apparently shrunk to about 4 foot tall]: I...well...[still shrinking]...I never wanted to...No. It is not. Woman-sensei: And your rituals have never worked at all... Gosunkugi[starting to revert to normal size]I...No, they never work right. I don't...{sudden start, with "ah ha!" look on face]Are you saying that there is a connection? Magic for selfish ends never works? But what about evil sorcerors? Woman-sensei: No. [We see her shadow shudder. The cat suddenly seems more attentive]. Magic that you believe is wrong never works. You do not truly believe in the rightness of what you are doing. That is why you fail. [Below, we see Akane emerge from the dojo.] Akane: Ranma, no Baka! Stop picking on P-chan! [She starts chasing him.] Gosunkugi: Then there is no way for me to know Akane's love... Woman-sensei: I didn't say that, but there are many better uses for magic than seducing women! Do you wish to be a sorceror or a seducer? Gosunkugi: I...yes, I do want to be a real wizard. I...What must I do? [We hear a rattling sound. Perhaps something is coming up the side of the building?] Woman-sensei: Magic is a matter of heart and will. You must both want something to happen and approve of its happening. If you believe you deserve failure, you will always fail. Come, we must go before they find us here. [we see her shadow standing up. It looks like she is about to ride off on the broom. The cat jumps on behind. ] Well, come on. Gosunkugi[As he steps out of sight] Ah...Okay. Where are we going? Woman-sensei: To find you a good cause to do magic. Then you can learn how to do it the right way, as well as why to do it. [P-chan suddenly runs onto the roof, followed closely by Ranma-kun and Akane. They both stop and look off across the city. We see broom with three tiny figures zipping away] Ranma-kun: That looks like Gosunkugi on that broom over there. Akane: It can't be. His magic never works. [While they are distracted, P-chan jumps into Akane's arms.] End of Part 1 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 2 Status: RO Last time on Ranma1/2: {Yet another of Gosunkugi's rituals has failed, but this time he attracts the attention of a gaijin witch who offers to tell him why he always fails and teach him the secret of real magic. He accepts. Gosunkugi learns that he has suffered from an inability to unite his will to do magic and his belief in the rightness of what he is doing. His new sensei takes him to find a cause in which he can unite will and heart.} {We see a familiar restaurant, the Nekohanten, home to Shampoo and Cologne. From inside we hear the sound of breaking furniture, sqwauks, and clanging metal. The door flies open and a glasses-wearing man is knocked out the door. As he falls, knives, axes, hammers, chains and other weapons scatter everywhere. A woman stands in the doorway with a bucket of water in one hand and a rod ending in a metal sphere in the other. Her face is contorted in contempt. She speaks.} Shampoo : Mousse: Shampoo: {She tosses the bucket of water on him. He rapidly shrinks away to a duck, still wearing the glasses. She turns, strides into the building and slams the door.} {Our perspective pulls back. We now stand behind Gosunkugi, who has witnessed this scene. Once again, his sensei is behind us, casting a shadow on the ground by his side. The cat seems unusually agitated, with its fur up and its tail in the air.} Woman-Sensei: How does seeing that make you feel? Gosunkugi: She is so cruel to him sometimes. Once she even served him duck when he thought he had ordered something else. I can not understand how he can love someone who hates him so. I..I wish I could help him. Woman-Sensei: Perhaps you can. {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Two: New Vision {We see the duck waddling about gathering up its weapons, although where it is putting them is hard to say. It looks up as Gosunkugi approaches it.} Mousse-Duck:Quack? {Gosunkugi bends over and picks him up.} Gosunkugi: Looks like its time for a hot bath for you. Mousse-Duck:Quack! Quack! {Gosunkugi picks up the rest of the duck's weapons. The duck quickly conceals them on himself.} Gosunkugi: Better? Mousse-Duck:Quack. {We see Nabiki across the street, coming out of a restaurant with Kunou. He walks away carrying a bundle of photos. She is counting money. She stares at Gosunkugi carrying the Duck. She can not see from this angle that it is wearing glasses} Nabiki: What is Gosunkugi doing with a duck? He seems to be taking it to some Gaijin and...her...cat. A Gaijin witch? {Quickly she gets out her camera and snaps some pictures.} Nabiki: Somebody will pay me good money for these, although I'm not sure who. {Gosunkugi has reached his sensei.} Gosunkugi: So what do I do now, Sensei? Woman-Sensei: We need access to a kitchen. Gosunkugi: A kitchen? Woman-Sensei: Unless you wish to spend a few years learning to talk to animals and carry around a duck for all that time. Gosunkugi: I know someone who might be willing to help. Woman-Sensei: Lead on. {We notice that her cat has calmed down} Scene cut: {We see the kitchen of the Tendo dojo. Kasumi is cooking. The Panda is trying to sneak off with some food. Ranma-kun enters.} Ranma-kun: Dad. {Panda continues to sneak out, puts up sign:Quiet. I'm busy.Ranma-kun snatches the teapot from the stove and follows him out. When they reach the next room, he pours it on the Panda.} Ranma-kun: Dad, do you know anything about flying brooms? Genma: Flying Brooms? Ranma-kun: Yes, I saw Gosunkugi riding on a flying...{notices Genma is staring blankly at him.} Never mind. Maybe Happosai...Never mind that too. I'll go ask Doctor Tofu. {He leaves. Genma begins eating his stolen food contentedly} Scene shift: {We see another familiar restaurant-Ukyou's. Gosunkugi is in the kitchen with Ukyou. He is pouring the water on Mousse. Mousse reverts to normal. He scampers embarrasedly behind a counter and gets dressed.} Gosunkugi: Thanks for the hot water, Ukyou. Ukyou: No problem. I have learned to always keep some hot water ready for my friends. {She turns to face the still unseen sensei.} How did you know he needed hot water to turn back? Woman-sensei: What other curse but Jhuysenko could it have been? I have studied many curses and their cures. Ukyou: I..Could..Is there a cure for the Jhuysenko curse besides finding another Jhuysenko pool to fall into? Woman-sensei: There are many cures, but most are only temporary. For this curse, you must find your own cure. {Mousse gets up from behind the counter and bows to Woman-sensei.} Mousse: I thank you, whoever you are for helping me. It is hard for me to get to hot water as a duck. Can I help you in any way? Woman-Sensei: I am here to advise my student, Gosunkugi. He has found it in his heart to help you with your problem. Mousse: He can cure my sight so that I might be able to truly win the love of Shampoo? Woman-Sensei: That is what you wish? Mousse: Yes. If I was blind, I could gain her pity; If I could see, I could win her heart. In between, I gain only her contempt.*** Gosunkugi: I..uh..well..I don't know how. Woman-Sensei: Do you wish to help him? Gosunkugi: Yes. I do, but I don't know any rituals for restoring sight. Woman-Sensei: You need no ritual to do magic. You need only believe. All else is tools to aid the belief of yourself and others. If you knew a ritual for healing his sight, how would it go? {Gosunkugi sits and thinks. Ukyou is beginning to cook more food in preparation for the dinner rush. We finally see the cat. It springs up onto the counter next to Gosunkugi and sniffs him. It is calico, with a red collar with gold studs around its neck. Gosunkugi turns and looks at the cat and his eyes widen}. Gosunkugi: May I have one of your whiskers? {It sticks its whiskers near his hands. He plucks the whisker. The cat screeches a bit. Gosunkugi turns and pours some of the hot water into a glass. He places the whisker into the glass. Then he grabs Mousse's glasses. They go in the glass.} Gosunkugi{Now holding the glass and twirling his left hand over it.} Buddha, in your mercy hear my call. Mousse stands before you without sight, without his vision he is despair's thrall. Please help Mousse escape his plight. We stand before you asking that Mousse might gain the sight of the cat. {He nimbly throws the glass of water in Mousse's face. Mousse splutters and wipes the water from his eyes.} Ukyou: I hope you didn't just take away the cat's sight and give it to Mousse. Gosunkugi: I didn't think of that. {He stares at the cat. The cat stares back at him, then smiles} Mousse: I can see! I can see without my glasses! {He jumps up and down} Thank you! My vision is cured. Scene shift: {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing****, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: I can't see!!!! Roll Credits End Part 2 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 3 Status: RO Part 3 Summary of the preceeding: {Gosunkugi's continued magical incompetence has brought him to the attention of a gaijin witch who has offered to teach him how to do magic correctly. They saw Shampoo mistreating Mousse as usual, and decided to help him. Gosunkugi created a ritual to cure Mousse's sight, which worked, but...} {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: {She staggers over to the table. The three patrons look concernedly at her.} [thought:] Dapper Man: {Stands up} Are you all right? You look a bit shaky, miss... Shampoo: I am fine. Please do not worry. {Puts a bowl of noodles in front of the woman, then puts a glass next to it} Your noodles, sir. {woman stares at the bowl, then passes it to the bearded man, who is scratching his chin} Dapper Man: Are you sure? I think you just mistook... Shampoo: No! I never make mistakes. Uh..., please. Sit down. I will serve you next. {Puts second bowl of noodles on top of the one the bearded man is starting to eat from, put second glass next to his. He pauses, then digs into the new bowl.} Woman: Stop that. That's mine! {grabs bowl away from bearded man who returns to eating from the original bowl} Shampoo:{puts last bowl down in the dapper man's chair, but puts his glass on the table. Addresses chair:} There. Now you have good meal. Pay at counter. Goodbye! {walks away and crashes into a table. It breaks in half. She talks to it} Sorry. Just clumsy today, I guess. Woman: I can't believe they hired such a strange waitress. The food is good though. Dapper Man: I think something is up here. She was fine when she took our order and when she was bringing the food until she was almost here. Then she started and said something in chinese. Bearded Man: Maybe it was her idea of a joke. {continues to eat} Dapper Man: Something strange is up, here... {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Three: Consequences {Scene has now shifted to Ukyou's restaurant. Mousse is dancing about happily. His glasses are on the counter. Ukyou watches bemusedly as she continues cooking. Gosunkugi is watching Mousse dance.} Mousse: Thank you Gosunkugi! Now Shampoo will love me as I love her! {He grabbes his glasses, put them in his pocket and runs out of the restaurant.} Ukyou: I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. Good work, Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: {has an astonished smile on his face} It worked! Amazing! Woman-sensei: You've made him very happy. Well, I must be leaving now. I'll be back in a few days. I've got to go accomplish what I came to Japan to do. Gosunkugi: I...can I go with you? I want to learn more. Woman-sensei: I'll be back, for a while. I can't stay here for very long, I've got other duties calling me. With the power of magic comes grave responsibilities. Just try working with what I've told you while I'm gone. I suspect your services may be in much demand. Gosunkugi: My services in demand? Woman-sensei: {We see from her shadow that she is picking up her broom and turning to go.}There are many things that people want that only magic can provide or that it seems only magic can provide. I'll return in three days. I have friends to visit and secrets to trade. Farewell. {suddenly she is gone} Ukyou: So who was that anyway? Gosunkugi: I don't know. I never thought to ask. Ukyou: {[] is thought, not spoken}[I wonder if Gosunkugi could break Ranma's curse...] Oh, Gosunkugi... Gosunkugi: Yes... Ukyou: {sidling over to him} I have a request to make of you... {scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is trying to serve the customers without letting them know that she can barely see. They are beginning to worry about her. We notice that a fourth person has joined the trio from the opening sequence...Kodachi} Background Mutter: very good food...something's wrong with the waitress...clumsy...Doughnuts!...my glass is half-full...don't do kidnapping...she addressed me, a guy, as Ma'am...not normally like this...no, its' half-empty...not a kidnapping, a rescue...mmph, chomp, chomp... {We see Shampoo addressing a potted plant} Shampoo: Take your order, sir? {waits} I recommend the... {The door to the Nekohanten flies open. Mousse runs in, straight over to Shampoo. She hears him and stares at him} Shampoo: [Ranma?] Shampoo: Nihao. {Mousse grabbs her in a big hug} Mousse: Shampoo. I love you! See, I don't need my glasses anymore. Shampoo: I...[It must be Ranma, but the voice isn't right. Why is he talking about glasses?] I love you too, Ranma. Mousse: I'm not Ranma. {He turns her head to face his} See, no glasses. I guess you've never seen me without them before. No wonder you didn't recognize me. Shampoo:[It is Mousse! ] I...I...{wrenches free and runs crying back into the kitchen.} Mousse: Shampoo, what's wrong? {Scene change to outside the Tendo dojo. Ranma is walking with a distracted look on his face. He does not notice that he is about to walk into the wall of the dojo.} Ranma:[Well, Dr. Tofu told me I probably saw a gaijin witch. So what was she doing flying over my house with Gosunkugi?] Ooph! {He walks head forward into the wall. He staggers back. Akane sticks her head out the door.} Akane: The door's over here. That's the wall. Ranma: I knew that. Akane: Then why did you do it? Ranma: I..I...{obviously can't think of an excuse} Akane: Oh well, come in. I'm cooking supper tonight! Ranma: {Look of abject fear} Uh oh. {cut to Tendo living room. Nabiki is doing homework. Genma and Soun are playing Shogi. Kasumi is watching Television. P-chan is on the couch next to her.} Soun: {to Kasumi} I can't believe you are letting Akane cook dinner. I thought you loved your father. Kasumi: If she never cooks, she'll never get any better. Soun: But I don't know if I will survive her cooking in the interim. Nabiki: {to herself} I wonder if I have enough ready cash to go out to dinner tonight. {Footsteps approach. Everyone looks up. Gosunkugi and Ukyou enter the room.} Ukyou: I have an announcement to make! Nabiki: You're cooking dinner instead of Akane? Soun: Hush! Let her speak! Ukyou: I... Genma: Please cook dinner for us! We... Soun: Sshh! {turns to face Ukyou. While his back is turned, Genma turns the Shogi board around.} Yes... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} End Part 3 ****************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic-part 4 of Putting your heart in the right place. Status: RO Part 4: {Flash back from end of part 3: This looks kinda hazy. We see the Tendo Family lounging around the living room. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Ukyo and Gosunkugi have just entered.... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} (We see the wall clock. It reads 4:30pm. We now cut to a few minutes later.Wall Clock says 4:45. The Room has been rearranged. There is a big tub of water in the middle of the room. Ribbons with mystic characters hang over the door. We can hear someone running water in the kitchen. Ranma and Akane walk in.Gosunkugi is dressed like a Shinto priest, and Ukyo as a Shinto priestess. They are making more ribbons. Nabiki is sitting in the corner, still doing her homework. Genma and Soun are by one door looking on. ) Ranma: Hi, Dad. I...hey, what's going on here. Soun: (Suddenly at Ranma's side. Grasps his shoulder.) Gosunkugi has volunteered to cure your curse and then he's marrying.... Ukyou: (looks mad) Will you get it straight! Gosunkugi is going to break the curse and then I'm marrying Ranma! Ranma! not Gosunkugi! Ranma!!! Ranma: I...uh...(Thinks: I'd really like to be free of my curse, but do I want to marry Ukyo. I...) Ulp. What do I have to do? Gosunkugi: Well, my first thought was to find a pool and drown a male in it, then you could... (Everyone stares at him with big eyes.) Gosunkugi: I didn't say it was a good idea! (Everyone is relieved). So then I decided to try a technique I saw in a book once. Ranma: What technique? Gosunkugi: We're going to exorcise the room. Then someone male and uncursed must get in the tub and hold their breath for a long time and bleed a little into the tub to imbue it with their essence. That should be about as good as drowning when we add a little ritual to it. Then you will have to turn into a girl. We will exorcise you, then you bathe in the water. That should do it. Ranma: Is that all? Gosunkugi: Well... Ranma: Well what? Gosunkugi: Er. for best effect, it recommends that the person to be uncursed must be...uh...well... Ranma: Be what? Be What! Gosunkugi: naked. (everyone faints.) {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Four: A Cure for Ranma? (We cut to back at the Nekohanten. Cologne kicks Mousse out the front door, then takes Shampoo back to the kitchen . She sits Shampoo down on a stool. Shampoo is staring off over Cologne's head. Cologne looks where she is staring. Nothing is there.) Cologne: What is wrong with you today? Shampoo: Nothing. Cologne: Don't lie to me, great-granddaughter. Shampoo: I..I...(starts to cry again) Cologne: You can't see, can you? Shampoo: (Bawling) Its' all one big blur! I can't tell you apart from a bush! Cologne: (Sighs) How did this happen? Shampoo: I don't know. I was working in the restaurant and suddenly, everything went blurry. Cologne: (looks at her eyes) Your eyes look okay. Do they hurt? Shampoo: No. I just can't see. Mousse: (Suddenly there) Maybe these will help. (Puts his glasses on Shampoo's face. We see Shampoo's perspective. Vague blurs suddenly sharpen into Mousse and Cologne.) Shampoo: I can see! Cologne: I thought you needed those. Mousse: Not anymore. Now I can see as well as anyone else. Cologne: Hmmmm. (Cut to the street outside the Tendo Dojo. The Dapper man, the bearded man, and the woman that we saw earlier at the Nekohanten are perched on a roof across the street. The Bearded Man has a pair of binoculars that he is viewing the Dojo with.) Bearded Man: I think that they must be preparing for some kind of religious ritual. I see two shinto priests, the boy our patron told us about, two old men, two teenage girls, and...a pig in the front yard. Looks like its trying to push the door open. The other teenager is in the kitchen. These people hardly look like the hardened ninjas our patron claimed were holding her fiancee hostage. Dapper Man: I think something strange is up. For the moment, we will watch. Besides, if they are ninjas, one of them is probably watching us right now. Bearded Man: The two old men might be ninjas. One of them is wearing a martial arts outfit at least. Woman: They look like a pair of old fools to me. Dapper Man: What better disguise than to look harmless? Woman: True Dapper Man: Lets' see how they react to outsiders. I'm going to knock on the door and ask for the man of the house. We'll see who is in charge. Woman: Hmm... Dapper Man: You don't approve? Woman: The more I think about this job, the more I think I shouldn't have let you talk me into helping you with this. Dapper Man: I'm beginning to wonder myself why I agreed to do this. Bearded Man: It certainly wasn't the proposal you originally told us about. Dapper Man: Hmmm...Well, lets' go into the lions' den. (He slips off the roof and heads over to the front door of the Dojo. He knocks. The door opens. We hear incoherent shouting from inside the Dojo. Kasumi has answered the door.) Kasumi: Can I help you, sir? Dapper Man: Yes. I am Miyaki Hikaru, a representative of the Tax Bureau. I need to talk to the master of the house about his property taxes. Kasumi: (Eyes get big) Is there a problem? Dapper Man: Just a random audit. May I come in? Kasumi: Well...okay. You'll need to wait in the kitchen while I get father. Dapper Man: Allright. (They go into the kitchen. Dapper Man sits down in a chair while Kasumi heads into the living room. Everyone is arguing. Ranma is shaking Gosunkugi.) Ranma: I've got to be naked through the whole thing? Gosunkugi: Yes...otherwise it might not work. Ranma: But...it...I... Akane: Who has to be present for the ritual? Kasumi: Father, the tax man is here to see you. (Everyone turns and stares for a moment. Soun looks shocked.) Soun: The...tax man? Kasumi: Yes. He said he has to talk to you about your property taxes. Soun: Ulp. Nabiki: Come on, dad. We'll take care of him. I've kept our family finances in good order. (Hustles Soun into the kitchen. Shuts door behind her.) Akane: Well? Gosunkugi: What? Akane: WHO HAS TO BE PRESENT FOR THE RITUAL?! Gosunkugi: Me, Ranma, an uncursed male, and an uncursed female, both preferably with some sort of tie to the subject. Kasumi: tie? Gosunkugi: A blood tie would be ideal, but an emotional tie will do as well. They have to want it to work. The uncursed female acts as my partner in the ritual, while the male provides the model for uncursed masculinity. Kasumi: Sounds rather Jungian to me. Everyone: What? Kasumi:(wan smile) nothing. Ukyou: Well, I'm going to be Gosunkugi's partner in the ritual. He's already taught it to me. Akane: But you'll... Ukyou: see Ranma naked? Well, we are going to get married after we cure him. Akane: (obviously fuming) He's my fiancee, not yours! Ukyo: I thought you didn't like him. Akane: Er, uhm, well... Ranma: Don't I get any say in this? Kasumi: Gosunkugi, does anyone have to see Ranma naked during the ritual? Gosunkugi(Aha look) Why no. The woman could wear a blindfold, then Ranma wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Kasumi: I knew there had to be a simple solution. Who's going to be the uncursed male? Akane: We could get Ryoga to do it. Ranma: I...don't know if that would be a good idea. Akane: Why? Don't you want to be cured? Who else do you have in mind? Ranma: Well... Gosunkugi: I think Ryoga would be fine...if you could find him. He's lost as usual. Ranma: (obvious look of relief)(Very quietly to self) That was a close one. Kasumi: How about Father? He would be very pleased to see Ranma cured. Akane: But he's talking to the tax man right now. Ukyou: How about you, Gosunkugi? You're not under any curses. Gosunkugi: It has to be someone else. Genma: Why? Gosunkugi: I can't hold my breath underwater while bleeding a little and chant at the same time, gesturing over the tub. Genma: Good point. Akane: How about Doctor Tofu? Ranma: Good Idea! Genma: I'll go get him. (leaves). (Time passes. We see Genma get Dr. Tofu, Nabiki spinning a web of BS around the Dapper Man, who looks like he wishes he had picked a different way to get into the house, the impatient Woman and the Bearded Man on the roof, Kasumi making blindfolds, and Akane and Ukyou arguing about who is going to perform the ritual.) Ukyo: (Turns to Ranma) So who do you want to be the woman in the ritual? Ranma: I...uh..well... Akane: (taps foot) Well?! Ranma: Well, you'll be wearing a blindfold....Can't you both do it? Wouldn't two be better than one? Gosunkugi: It would unbalance the mystic energies! You might become a woman forever! Ranma: Eek. Ukyo and Akane: ugh. Akane: I...well, I guess since Ukyo does know the ritual already...and I don't want to make my fiancee into a girl forever... Ukyo: Thank you Akane. Akane: But that doesn't make you his fiancee! Ukyo: I was engaged to him before you were. Akane: His father sold him into engagement for food then ran out on it! Ukyo: I'd marry him cursed or not, would you? Akane: Uh... Genma and Dr. Tofu:(as they enter) We're here! Gosunkugi: Good. Time to start the ritual. (Cut to the kitchen. Kasumi is making Tea. A pile of papers threatens to overwhelm the Dapper Man, who is sitting at the table with Nabiki and Soun. Soun and the Dapper Man both look utterly confused.) Nabiki: See. It not only balances, but you owe us 700,000 yen for overvaluing our house. Dapper Man: I see...(sudden idea) I need to look around the house to check the valuation. Soun: (look of man who has just been rescued from certain doom) I will be glad to show you around the house. (opens door. We hear chanting. He looks in, blanches, slams door, stands in front of it.) How about if we start with the training hall. Dapper Man: What's going on in there? I hear chanting. Kasumi: They're... Nabiki: Secret Family Shinto Ritual. If an outsider intrudes, the spirits will filet you and sell you at the market for half price. Dapper Man: What? Soun: Yes. Nabiki is right. I will show you the training hall. Hopefully, they will be finished by the time we complete that. Kasumi, come tell us when the ritual is over. Nabiki, help me show the Tax Man the training hall. Both: Yes, Father. (We cut to the roof where the Bearded Man and the Woman are watching the house. They see Soun, Dapper Man, and Nabiki come out the front and circle around to the training hall entrance.) Bearded Man: Now what's he doing? Woman: I don't know. They've pulled the shades on the room they were all in. Bearded Man: And I think the woman who answered the door is waving at us from the kitchen. Woman: As soon as we get him out of there, I'm leaving. This can't possibly be the way she told us it was. Bearded Man: Tatewaki Kodachi has a few things to explain, I think. Kasumi: (leans out the window) Yoo-hoo, up there on the roof. That isn't very safe. You might want to come down before you slip and fall off. Bearded Man: That's the last straw. We are getting out of here. (Inside the training hall. We can here chanting through the door to the living room. Nabiki is pointing out features of the hall.) Nabiki: Roof--Tile--value: 7 million yen. Training mats--6, 70,000 yen value each. Total 420,000 yen. Wall supports... Dapper Man: (keeps looking towards door to living room.) Yes. Well, how about the rest of the house. Soun: The Back Yard! We must show you the extent of the Back yard. Nabiki: Yes. It's very nice. Dapper Man: I need to see the inside of the house! (Dojo doors fly open. Bearded Man and Woman have entered) Bearded Man: Time to go. Dapper Man: (comes over to the Bearded Man) I haven't gotten to see the inside of the house yet. Why did you come in? Woman: We've been set up or something. The girl who answered the door saw us and waved. Something is going on here. We're going looking for the person who got us into this stupid affair. Soun (to Nabiki) I hope we're not in trouble. Nabiki: Hmm. I think I can guess what's going on here. (strides over to the trio). Gentlemen, lets' make a deal. (Cut to the site of the ritual. The inside of the tub is a bit reddish now. Dr. Tofu has just reentered the room, with still wet hair. Ukyou and Akane are wearing blindfolds. Akane is sitting in the corner with Genma. Ranma has just dumped water on himself and is now a girl. Gosunkugi is on one side of Ranma and Ukyou on the other. They begin to chant, waving sticks with exorcism ribbons on them) Gosunkugi:Curse, Curse, go away! Ukyou: Don't come again on any day! Gosunkugi: Be it rain or... Ukyou: Be it shine... Gosunkgi: In the day.. Ukyou: Or at night time... Gosunkugi: Be he near... Ukyou: Or be he far... Gosunkugi: When he is wet... Ukyou: Or when he is dry... Gosunkugi: Let him remain... Ukyou: Always a guy! Gosunkugi: Spirit of the curse! I command you to come out of this man! Ukyou: I command you to return to the place where you were spawned! Gosunkugi: No more shall you plague the line of Saotome! Ukyou: When Ranma enters the water... Gosunkugi: He shall become man, not woman... Ukyou: and stay man forevermore! Gosunkugi: Ranma, get in the water. (Ranma gets into the tub of water. He sinks down all the way into it. We see his hair turn Black. He gets up male. Looks at himself:) Ranma: It worked! (Grabs a towel) (Ukyo and Akane rip off their blindfolds, rush over and hug Ranma) Both: I'm happy for you. Ranma (hugs them back and blushes a little) Me too. (wrenches loose and dances around) Cured! I'm cured! (Turns to Gosunkugi) Would this work for Dad, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi: I think so. Everyone: Hurray! (End Part 4) ***************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 5--putting your heart in the right place Status: RO (open Part 5) ( Everyone is eating Dinner. Ukyo and Kasumi are serving everyone. Gosunkugi is in the seat of honor.) Ranma: A toast to the end of the curse on the Saotome line! Everyone: Hear, hear! Ukyo: Now you can finally tell your mom where you are. Ranma: Yes. That threat is over. Ukyo: And we can get married... Soun: Ranma is engaged to Akane. Ukyo: He was engaged to me first! Soun: Long before that, Genma and I decided Ranma would marry one of my daughters. Kasumi: Who do you want to marry, Ranma? Ranma: I..uh..well...I've known Ucchan longer, but Dad and Mr. Tendo did arrange I would marry one of his daughters...but I wasn't given a choice in any of these engagements...and... Kasumi: But do you love Akane or Ucchan? Who do YOU want to marry? Ranma: Well, Ucchan can cook better than Akane, but .... Akane: Are you saying I can't cook?! Ranma: Akane was nice to me when everyone else was mad because they thought I was a girl and they were expecting a boy... Akane: (looks surprised)... Ranma: But then she got mad when SHE walked in on ME when I was naked... Ukyo: (looks surprised)(thinking)(She's seen him naked?) Ranma: And Ucchan has never done anything like that... Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But I always thought Ucchan was a boy until recently... Soun: (looks at Ukyo, looks confused) Ranma: and they're both beautiful when they try to be... Akane: (looks stunned) Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But Akane acts so unfeminine all the time... Akane: (Snarls) Ranma: But she always stands up for those who can't defend themselves... Akane: (looks really confused now. So does everyone else) Nabiki: Are you going to keep this up all day long? Ranma: I've really got to think about this before I make any committment. Gosunkugi: What about Shampoo? (opening Credits roll) Ranma1/2 FanFic--Putting your Heart in the Right Place By John Biles Based on the Creations of Rumiko Takahashi Part 5: Whose Wedding Bells do I hear? (scene cuts to the Nekohanten. We see Shampoo going about her waitressing, wearing Mousse's glasses. He is following her around, averting minor disasters in her wake. He smiles, she looks wan. She shivers.) Mousse: Are you all right, dear Shampoo. Shampoo: I...someone must have been talking about me. (a tear runs down her face.) Mousse: Don't cry(hugs her) Shampoo: I...I...how could you ever stand this? Everything is a blur, even with the glasses. Mousse: The vision of your loveliness pierced even that fog and inspired me to continue. Shampoo: Oh, I...(begins to cry heavily) Mousse: Don't be sad. I won't leave you. (cut to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is sitting in the window of his room. He is staring out into the night sky. The door opens. Ryoga walks in) Ryoga: I can not let you marry Akane. (Ranma ignores him and stares out the window.) Ryoga: You must marry Ukyo. Then I can marry Akane and we can both be happy. Ranma: Will you tell her about P-Chan? Ryoga: I... Ranma: I have kept your secret despite many temptations to tell her. Please leave me alone to think. Ryoga: I heard they broke your curse. Ranma: I'm sure Gosunkugi can cure you like he cured me. Ryoga: Thank you, Ranma. (he leaves). (The door opens again. This time it is Ukyo.) Ukyo: Ranma? (Ranma continues staring out the window.) Ranma: --- Ukyo: I just...are you okay? (comes over to him) Ranma: I need to be alone to think. Please don't be offended by that. Ukyo: Ranma, I... Ranma: (turns around.) Thanks for coming to see me, but I need to make up my mind what I want to do. Ukyo: Ranma, I love you, whatever you decide, I want you to be happy. Ranma: Thank you, Ukyo. I wish I knew for sure how I feel... Ukyo:... Ranma: But whatever I decide, thank you for getting Gosunkugi to cure me. I could never thank you enough. Ukyo: Just choose wisely. I'll see you tomorrow. (She leans over and kisses him, then turns and leaves) (Ranma stands there in shock for a moment, then begins to turn back around. He sees his reflection in the mirror. something is wrong. Its his female form reflected in the mirror with a look of despair. Ranma cries out in shock.) (The door opens. Kasumi is in the doorway.) Kasumi: Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I...my reflection, it...(looks at mirror. Reflection is back to normal.) My reflection looked like me as a woman, but now its back to normal. Kasumi: You probably just imagined it. Ranma: But why? Kasumi: Did she look happy, sad, angry? Ranma: Despairing. Kasumi: Probably it was a trick of the light, and your mind filled in the details. You look pretty despairing yourself right now. Ranma: I have a big choice I don't want to make. Kasumi: The wedding? Ranma: I don't know who to marry or why or even if I should. Kasumi: Well, neither of your engagements has been very normal. Ranma: My life has been so strange. Until I came here, I hadn't had a real home since I was very little. I had to hide from my own mother for fear I would have to commit suicide if she found out what had happened to me. Dad engaged me for food once and for friendship a second time. One of my fiancees, I thought was a boy for ten years, and I can't get along with the other one. Kasumi: You always seem to get along fine with Akane. Ranma: I...are we talking about the same Akane? Kasumi: You always try to defend her, you never let anyone try to win her affections, you've never really tried to break the engagement, you never really hurt her when she gets mad and attacks you--I'd say you really care about her. You're both too proud to drop your defenses and admit it, but I'd say she really cares about you too. Ranma:I... Kasumi: She cooks for you... Ranma: She's an awful cook! Kasumi: So was I at first. But she cares enough to keep trying, even though she knows you fear her cooking. It really hurts her when you won't even try it. Ranma: But I... Kasumi: She has never betrayed your engagement, despite having virtually every guy in her high school after her. She could have any man she wanted. She gets jealous when other women flirt with you, just like you get mad when men flirt with her... Ranma: We are engaged. Kasumi: And despite fighting all the time, and supposedly "hating" each other, you keep to it better than many engaged couples do. Ranma: You really think she likes me? Kasumi: yes. Ranma: But what about Ukyo? Kasumi: How do you feel about Ukyo? Ranma: She's my oldest friend. She's the best cook I know. She is always nice to me and didn't care about my curse. And she loves me. Kasumi: But how do you FEEL about Ukyo? Ranma: I care about her, but I don't know if I want to...to... Kasumi: marry her? Ranma: yeah. I don't know what love really feels like. My life has been so messed up... Kasumi: Maybe you should try a real date with each of them to see how you feel just alone with that person. You've never been out on a real, voluntary date, have you? Ranma: Not really. I...What would be a good date? Kasumi:(gets up to leave) You'll have to figure that one out yourself. Ranma: Thanks, Kasumi. I just hope Ryoga doesn't flip if I go on a date with Akane. Kasumi: (turns in Doorway) So when are you going to tell Akane about Ryoga? Ranma: (stunned) You know...about... Kasumi: Its' utterly obvious. I don't know why she can't figure it out. I haven't told her because it would cause so much trouble.... Ranma: She'd go berserk. I'd die for not telling her before, and she'd try to rip Ryoga limb from limb. Then everyone else would die too, just on general principle. Kasumi: I don't have the answer to anything. If you hurry, you can catch Akane before she goes to sleep. Ranma: (very softly) yeah... (Ranma goes out and down the hall to Akane's room.) Ranma: This would be easier if I had some passion spice or something. Oh well. I'd better knock first. (knocks) Akane: (through door) Who is it? Ranma: Its' me, Ranma. Akane: (opens door) What? Ranma: I...uhh...welll...we've never..that is? Akane: (impatient) spit it out. Ranma: I've decided that before I decide who I'm going to marry, I really need to try to..welll, it was Kasumi's idea... Akane: What, what was Kasumi's idea? Ranma: Will you go out on a date with me? I...I promise not to call you "uncute" for the entire evening. I'll even pay for it,...somehow. Akane (in shock)...A date? Ranma: Is that a yes or a no? Akane: I...uhh...well... Ranma: ... Akane: Um, okay. (end credits on part 5) (Begin part 6) (We see Shampoo bicycling down the street, wearing Mousse's glasses. She comes around a corner and sees the Tendo dojo. She backs up, takes off the glasses, puts them in the carrybag slung over her shoulder, parks the bike, chains it to a telephone pole, and staggers up the street to the Tendo Dojo. Finally, she makes it to the front door and knocks. Kasumi answers the door.) Kasumi: Why hello, Shampoo. Would you like something to eat? There's some breakfast left over. Shampoo: Thank you, yes. Is Ranma here? (sits down, Kasumi starts preparing a bowl for Shampoo.) Kasumi: He's left for school already. Shampoo: I wanted to see if he wanted to come to eat at the Nekohanten tonight. Great-grandmother is making something special with some new herbs we just got in. Kasumi: I think he has a...(pauses) he's busy tonight. (Door flies open. Ryoga walks in) Ryoga: Is Akane here? (He has a very happy/proud look on his face) Kasumi: Nope. She is at school already. Would you like something to eat, Ryoga? Ryoga: Sure. (sits down) Hi, Shampoo. Shampoo: (stares at him) Ranma? Ryoga: What? I'm Ryoga. Shampoo: oh, sorry. (Kasumi has almost finished preparing their food. She is about to put the salt away when she notices a small wooden salt shaker labeled--Kasumi's special spice, ask her before using. She looks back at Shampoo and Ryoga. They are staring at each other and talking about how life would be simpler if Ranma would marry Shampoo and Akane would marry Ryoga. Kasumi looks back at the spice. She smiles and shakes some of it into Ryoga and Shampoo's food.) Kasumi(thinking) Here's where we see if those herbalism books are accurate. Kasumi: Breakfast is served. (Shampoo and Ryoga dig in. They seem quite pleased with the food.) Ryoga: This is really good. Shampoo:yes. Definitely. Kasumi: Why thank you. (Ryoga and Shampoo both yawn. They keep eating and collapse into slumber as they finish off their food. Kasumi clears the dishes away.) (Mousse enters:) Mousse: Have you seen...Hey.(goes over to Shampoo, shakes her, she snores away.) Kasumi: I guess they were really tired. Maybe you should take her home. Mousse: Good idea. (picks her up, carries her out.) Kasumi: Dad! (Soun enters.) Soun: Yes, daughter. Kasumi: Ryoga fell asleep at the table, can you take him to the guest room so I can finish clearing off the table. Soun: Poor lad. Certainly. (He hefts Ryoga over the shoulder and carries him off.) (Kasumi goes to the spice cabinet, puts the special spice back into the cabinet, closes it, goes to the cookbook collection, and gets one labeled, "Special spices". We see her page through the book, but the opening credits roll before we see what she is looking for.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part six: Affairs of the Heart (Back at the Nekohanten, Mousse takes Shampoo back to her bedroom, puts her on the bed. He enters the kitchen where Cologne is hard at Cologne: What were you doing with Shampoo just now? Mousse: Something has put her to sleep. She slept through being carried home from the Tendo dojo. Cologne: Hmm. I'd better take a look at her. (leaves). Mousse: (wanders over to see what Cologne was making.) Love noodles? Sigh. Another effort to enchant Ranma to fall in love with her. If he loved her, she wouldn't need noodles. Hmmm...the active ingredient is the powdered siren's hair. (looks at the bottle). This looks just like salt. Hmmm. (We see Mousse take a salt shaker and switch its components with the powdered siren's hair.) Mousse: Well, that takes care of that. What other recipies are in this book, anyway--passion spice, beefbowl of strength, passion pancakes--I bet Ukyo would like that recipe--spiritual sukiyaki, exorcism eggplant--these are all magical recipies. Hmmm. (looks at "salt" shaker in hand. pockets it. Heads for the door.) Cologne: She's had sleep spice given to her. Help me cook up an antidote. Mousse:all right. What do we need first? Cologne: You finish these noodles I was making, I'll make the antidote. Mousse: (smirks out of Cologne's sight) Yes, ma'am. (scene cuts to the outside of the Tatewaki mansion. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the blond Woman are watching it from a hotel balcony a far ways off.) Bearded Man: So, got any good ideas. Dapper Man: Well, our erstwhile employer just left for school, so we could follow her or lay a trap for her return. Woman: I'll follow her, you lay the trap. She goes to a girls' school, after all. Dapper Man: And... Woman: (pulls off her camo fatigues, and rapidly fiddles with her hair, puts on glasses. She now looks like a nerdy blond teenager in a school uniform.) Taa Daah! Bearded Man: Wow. Dapper Man: Good job. You follow her. Just be careful. She seems rather unstable. Woman: (as she leaves) I'm used to unstable people. Dapper Man: And now to set up a trap. (Cut to Furinkan High. Ranma, Gosunkugi, Akane, and Ukyo are in class. Gosunkugi is obviously very tired, and so is Ukyo, but not as badly.) Sensei: So, Gosunkugi, what were the origins of the Shogunate? Gosunkugi: The emperor (yawn) The Emperor (Yawn)...wanted to take a nap. (head goes down on the desk) Sensei: This is the last straw. You've been nodding off all day long. In the hall with a bucket, now! Gosunkugi: But, I... Sensei: NOW! Gosunkugi: Yes, (yawn) Sensei. (He goes out in the hall and takes up bucket holding position #1. He hears Footsteps. It is Kuno.) Kuno: Is it true that Ranma is going to marry Akane soon? Gosunkugi: He may marry Ukyo, instead. He hasn't made up his mind. Kuno: I will never let him take away my precious Akane, or the pig-tailed girl either. This I Tatewaki Kuno do swear! (Holds Bokken over his head. Lightning and thunder flashes around him.) Gosunkugi: But how will you stop him? Kuno: I don't ...Ahah! I will get you to use one of your rituals to prevent it! Gosunkugi: But I don't... Kuno: Silence, lowerclassman. It is an honor for you to serve me! You will find a way to keep Ranma from marrying Akane! (stalks off) Gosunkugi: I think I'll just find a way to take a nap. Curing Ryoga kept me up all night almost. I think Ukyo is about conked out too. I'm glad she helped me. I hope Ranma picks her. Then I could marry Akane... (Back in the Classroom, time has passed and the class has broken for lunch.) Ranma: Where's Gosunkugi? Ukyo: Asleep in the hallway. (yawn) Sounds like a good idea to me. (staggers out the door) Akane: What kept them up last night? Ranma: I have no idea.(looks distracted) Akane: So where are...uh...when do we... Ranma: (suddenly clicks back into reality) What, our date? Akane: Uh, yes. Ranma: We could go to...no, that's a bad idea. Akane: What's a bad idea? Ranma: I can't think of any restaraunts that would be safe to go to that are any good. Akane: What? Ranma: Well, I always eat at Ucchan's or at the Nekohanten, but I don't think that... Akane: it would be a good idea to eat at them. True. I....(Ranma is staring into her eyes. He sees himself reflected in them, then he sees the image change to that of his former girl form. He starts back.) ...know a good place. Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I think I need to talk to Dr. Tofu, I keep seeing things. Akane: Things? You have been acting a bit wierd. Ranma: I have? Like what? Akane: Like not getting mad at me, asking me out, jumping at every little noise. You didn't get up early to practice with your dad, either. Ranma: Neither did he. We both overslept. Akane: You never miss your morning practices. Ranma: I just feel kind of drained. Maybe the ritual wore Ukyo, Gosunkugi, and I out. They did it again for dad, so that's why I feel drained and they are exhausted. Akane: That does make sense. (pause). I know a great restaurant called Ma Maison. It's french food, but... Ranma: Okay, that'd be great. (stares off into space again.) Akane: (thinking) Something is wrong with Ranma. (We cut back to the Tendo dojo. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Kasumi enters.) Kasumi: So when are you going to let your wife know where you are, now that you are cured, Mr. Saotome. Genma: (freezes in mid-move) I...hadn't thought of that. Soun: Shame on you. You should call her right away. Genma: Well... Kasumi: I'm cooking a special dinner tonight, although Ranma and Akane will miss it. Soun: Why will they miss it? Kasumi: They are going out on a date tonight. Soun: Hurrah! (Grabs Genma and dances around with him) Kasumi: He's going out with Ukyo tommorrow night. He's trying to make up his mind who to marry. Soun: I will congratulate them when they come home. Kasumi: Uhm... Genma: I think that would embarrass Ranma. It would be better to act like we don't know until they tell us. Soun: oh. (looks dejected) (Scene cut to Gosunkugi and Ukyo cleaning the classroom. They keep slumping over desks, tripping over their brooms, and standing and yawning.) Gosunkugi: I should have just stayed home. I'm so tired. (yawn) Ukyo: Yeah, I think staying up until 1 am fixing Ryoga really wore me out too. Gosunkugi: But now I have another rival for Akane's heart, sigh. Ukyo: Why do you want Akane? Gosunkugi: I have always worshipped her--her smile, her grace, her friendliness, her skill. She is like a goddess to me. (yawn) Ukyo: (Yawn). Well, if Ranma marries me, that will be one less rival for you. I (yawn) think you probably have as much of a chance as Ryoga did. If he tried to marry Akane, he'd get lost on the way to the wedding. (Sits down against the wall.) Gosunkugi: (sits down near her) Yeah. So why do you (yawn) want to marry Ranma? Ukyo: Well, we met when we were very little. My dad raised me after mom died, but he wanted to find me a good husband. I got engaged to Ranma basically because Ranma's dad needed food. Then after staying a while, they ran out on it. We were humiliated. No one else would set up an engagement with me. Eventually, I came looking for Ranma to see what he was like now. He hadn't really changed, except for being older, and cursed. At first, the quest for marriage was a duty thing, but I soon fell in love with him. I understand why he contemplates marrying Akane, but I think we're better suited for each other. (She is obviously beginning to fall asleep.) Gosunkugi: (slumping over towards her. He is close to slumber too. Yawns) Why? Ukyo: We both can cook, fight, and are dedicated to what we do. We get along well and enjoy being around each other. And I know he cares for me. He and Akane squabble, she can't cook, and there are plenty of other guys she could have. Gosunkugi: But does she want any other guys? (They both pass out, and slide over, heads touching, forming an upsidedown V) (Back at the Nekohanten. Cologne feeds Shampoo a concoction. Shampoo sits up, stretches her back and says:) Shampoo: I'm sorry, Kasumi. I guess I fell asleep at the table. Cologne: I'm not Kasumi, and this is not the table. Mousse: What happened? Shampoo: Where am I? Cologne: This is the Nekohanten. Why aren't you wearing your glasses? Shampoo: Those are Mousse's glasses, not... Cologne: Until your sight returns to normal, they are yours. Mousse: I don't need them anymore. Cologne: Did you ask Ranma to come eat at the Nekohanten tonight? Shampoo: He was at school when I got there. (pause) Shampoo: How did I get back here? Mousse: I carried you back. Cologne: What were you doing when you fell asleep? Shampoo: Eating some breakfast that Kasumi made. Cologne: Someone fed you magic sleep spice. I could see the signs. Mousse: But who could have... Cologne: So Kasumi thinks she can match wits with my family? The mouse has grown fangs. We'll see about that. (Stalks out) Shampoo: Where is my bag, Mousse?...I can't find it. (She keeps looking in the same two places over and over) Mousse: (picks it up off the floor, gets out the glasses, puts them on her face.) Here they are. Shampoo: (looks at Mousse) How come you have been helping me so much? Mousse: Because I love you. Shampoo: I can't marry you, Mousse. Mousse: (sits down by her) Why? Shampoo: By village law, I MUST marry Ranma. Mousse: But you must kill him too, by village law. Shampoo: Marriage takes precedence. That's what great-grandmother says. Mousse: But he was engaged to Akane first. Shampoo: I can get rid of Akane. Mousse: Do you think he will love a woman who kills his fiancee? Shampoo: But, I...I love him. I need, want,...What can I do? Mousse: Why can't you love me? Shampoo: Why do you love me, Mousse? Mousse: I have always loved you. You are the vision of feminine perfection. You are strong, determined, beautiful, and smart. I think about you every minute. I can neither forget you nor win your heart, it seems, but I must strive for your love. Loving you is hell; loving you is heaven. You have been my delight and my torment. I burn for you; you cast me out. (puts an arm around her) I care for you, want you, need you, desire you; you scorn me, turn away, need another, desire someone else, yet I can not give up on you. Perhaps I am mad, but I love you more than anything else in the world. I would follow you to hell and back. I... (Shampoo is crying.) Shampoo: I wish I could love you...but I can't control my heart any more than you can control yours. I've been so bad to you...I never understood why you wouldn't give up and go away...I wanted to break your heart so you would go find someone who could love you...I'm sorry. Mousse: (Shampoo is bawling by now. He hugs her.) Don't cry, little kitten. Don't cry. (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is trying to figure out what to wear on the date. He goes through various items of clothing.) Ranma: I feel like a girl, going through all these outfits. (looks up at mirror, he sees girl self.) Aahhh! (The girl image moves independently of Ranma's motions, looks sad, and makes a beckoning motion. Ranma comes closer to the mirror and stares at it. The image's lips are moving, but no sound comes out. The door opens, it is Dr. Tofu.) Dr. Tofu: Feeling Narcisitic, are we? Ranma: (points at mirror) Do you, ah, see...well Tofu: (comes over and looks at mirror) Hmm, that looks like your female self. Ranma: Well, yes. Everytime I look into anything reflective, I see it. I even saw it in Akane's eyes at lunch. And I feel strange. I thought it was fatigue, but you see it too. Dr. Tofu: This never happened before the curse was broken, did it? Ranma: Not that I ever noticed. Tofu: Probably it is a side effect of the cure. Or maybe it reflects some psychological problem. Ranma: I'm not crazy! Tofu: For over a year, she (points at mirror) has been a part of your life. Now she has been cut out of it. Ranma: But she's me! was me! Tofu: She protected you from having to decide on who to marry, who you loved. Ranma: I... Tofu: She let you do things, go places, see things you never could have on your own. Ranma: You talk about her as if she was someone else. Tofu: In a sense, she was. Your curse let you experience life from both sides. As her, you did things the male Ranma never could, because "men don't do that. Its' okay if you are a woman." Ranma: I... Tofu: You curse was a source both of power and trouble. Or it could be a sign of something else... Ranma: What? Tofu: The curse may not be truly broken. Ranma: not broken? Dr. Tofu: none of the other cures ever worked forever. Maybe they were defective, and maybe not. Ranma: What do you mean, maybe not? Dr. Tofu: There may be no permanent cure, or it could have deeper significance. Ranma: Huh? Dr. Tofu: The curse gave you power, but at a price. You may need that power one day. Perhaps that is why you have never been cured successfully, the time has not yet come for it to end. Ranma: A purpose? Like what? Dr. Tofu: Like... (Kasumi opens the door.) Kasumi: Hello, Dr. Tofu (Dr. Tofu goes to estatic over the presence of Kasumi mode. Ranma looks aggravated.) Dr. Tofu: So nice to be seeing you Kasumi. What a coincidence, our meeting here that is. Kasumi: Would you like a snack? Dr. Tofu: Why yes, certainly. Lets' go. (walks into wall) Kasumi: (grabs his arm) This way, Dr. Tofu. Ranma: Wait, what about...(They exit). oh well, once he sees her, he isn't any use for hours anyway. (looks at the mirror). I don't understand you any better than I understand any other woman...(Image nods its head) Ranma: Are you trying to tell me something?(Image nods again) What? (it looks frustrated, beckons again. Ranma tries stepping into the mirror, bounces off it.) Oww. Well, maybe after the date, I can try figuring you out. Ahah! (picks up part of a suit.) Maybe we could dress up. That would put us in a different mood. (image smiles at him). You like that? (It smiles more) Great. Now an image of me under a curse is giving me fashion tips. (Scene cuts to Akane's room. Nabiki is trying to help Akane figure out something to wear. ) Akane: How about this(holds up a flower print shirt and some slacks)? Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Holds up a nice green dress) Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Akane goes through about 6 more outfits. Nabiki keeps rejecting them.) Akane: So what do you think I should wear? Nabiki: Well, it shouldn't be too dressy because Ranma never dresses nicely, but you don't want to look like a complete slob either. You want to show off your figure, but you don't want to look like a slut. Hmmm. (Digs through piles of clothing, looks in drawers, wanders into closet) Akane: What do you think Ranma will wear? Nabiki: Probably that Red satin outfit he always wears. Or maybe jeans and a t-shirt, if he has any. Akane: It is a date. Nabiki: It is Ranma. Akane:... Nabiki: So why is he taking you out anyway. It's not the anniversary of your engagement is it? Akane: No. Nabiki: Did father or Mr. Saotome put him up to it? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Does this mean he's definitely marrying you instead of Ukyo? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know where you are going on the date? Akane: Other than that I'm picking the restaraunt, I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know anything about this date at all? Akane: STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS AND HELP ME FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR! (Nabiki hands Akane some clothing. She heads over to the mirror to change, stepping just off screen.) Akane: Have you seen P-chan? Nabiki: no. He's lost again, I guess. Akane: Yes, he runs away a lot, but he always comes back. I hope he's not hungry. Nabiki: So, do you think Ranma will decide to marry Ukyo or you? Akane: I think he'll continue not to make up his mind who he wants to marry. (sounds a little peeved) Nabiki: I don't think he has an excuse anymore now that the curse is broken. Akane: If it lasts. Nabiki: What? Akane: None of the other cures took. He never made that much of an effort to find a cure anyway. Nabiki: You really think so. Akane: I don't know why. He always said he hated being under the curse, but why didn't he leave and go looking for a cure. Nabiki: Maybe he was afraid there was no cure and didn't want to have his hope taken away. Akane: Hmph. Nabiki: And maybe there was something here he didn't want to leave. Akane:...(looks surprised) (Cut briefly to--a bedroom where Ryoga is snoozing on a futon.--to a classroom where Ukyo and Gosunkugi are still clonked out--then to the hotel balcony overlooking the Tatewaki estate. The blond woman, the dapper man, and the bearded man are watching the sun set behind the mansion.) Woman: Well, did you set up the preparations for our revenge? Dapper Man: Yes Bearded Man: When the clock strikes six... (We hear a bell ring, obviously a clock bell. It peals six times. We hear explosions at the mansion, and gas starts pouring out of it. People begin fleeing the building coffing and choking.) Dapper Man: Sulfur at sunset. How sweet. Woman: I have laid the groundwork for part two of our vengeance. Bearded Man: Good. (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is getting dressed up. Cologne is helping her.) Cologne: You need to get to Ranma's house before they eat dinner. Shampoo: Yes. Cologne: You haven't forgotten the plan have you? Shampoo: No. Cologne: And don't take off your glasses or you'll end up bring Ryoga back here instead of Ranma. Shampoo: But the glasses, they... Cologne: You want to end up talking to plants like Mousse always does. Shampoo: Not anymore. Cologne: Yes. I need to find out how he did that so we can fix your sight... (We cut to the Tendo dojo. Akane and Nabiki are coming down the stairs. Akane ended up wearing the flower print shirt and jeans that were her first choice. Nabiki comes around the corner from the stairs before Akane does. She sees Ranma standing in his suit, talking with Genma. Nabiki turns, grabs Akane before she rounds the corner, and begins running up the stairs dragging Akane) Akane: What are you doing? (down the hallway...) Nabiki: He's in a suit! Akane: What? Nabiki: (Round the corner into Akane's room) He's in a suit. We have to find something nice! (frantic clothing search begins.) Akane: I thought you said he wouldn't wear anything nice. (sounds frantic) Nabiki: So sue me! (sounds frantic too) (We cut to Ranma and Genma in the living room.) Ranma: Akane said she would find a good restarant. Genma: It is good to see you trust her judgement. Ranma: It can't be worse than her cooking. (Akane and Nabiki enter from the staircase now. Akane is wearing a nice blue formal dress with white gloves, a flower in her hair and gold earrings on her ears. She has a slightly embarrassed smile on her face. Ranma is in shock.) Akane: Ready to go Ranma? Ranma: Uh, yes. (Cut to closing credits). (end part 6) (Start part 7) (We see Shampoo at the front of the Tendo Dojo. Her bike is parked nearby. She is carrying a covered bowl and a bottle of some liquid. She walks up to the door, then takes off the glasses she is wearing. She knocks.) (The door opens. Its' Kasumi.) Kasumi: Hello, Shampoo. How are you? Shampoo: Nabiki? Kasumi: No. This is Kasumi. Shampoo: Is Ranma here? Kasumi: He's...not here. Shampoo: Where is he? Kasumi: I'm not sure. Shampoo: I wanted to invite him to eat dinner at the Nekohanten, tonight. Kasumi: Wherever he is, I think he will be eating dinner there. Shampoo: Oh. Great-Grandmother made this for you as a gift for making me breakfast. (holds up bowl and bottle). The recipe has been handed down in the family for generations. Kasumi: (smiles as she takes it) Thank you. Maybe I'll serve it to the family with dinner tonight. Shampoo: (eyes get bigger for a moment). I...there's only enough for one person, I think. Kasumi: Well, I'll save it for breakfast. Shampoo: Bye. (heads for her bicycle. Gets on it, pedals erratically away.) Kasumi: I'd better check on Ryoga and make sure he wakes up in time for dinner. (She smiles and turns and goes inside.) (Credit sequence: Queen's It's a kind of Magic is the theme song, during which we see Akane walking to school while Ranma walks along on top of the fence. Then we see Shampoo bicycling straight at him on top of the fence. He falls off the fence and rolls down the slope towards the river. We see Akane jump over the fence. Shampoo jumps off the fence on her bike. Down by the river, Ryoga looks nervously at the water as Gosunkugi is dancing around him and chanting. Ukyo sits nearby with her spatula, looking on amusedly. Ranma crashes into Ryoga and they both fall into the river. Shampoo tries to brake, skids on the grass and goes in. They surface as Ranma-chan, P-chan, and Shampoo-cat. Ukyo begins fishing them out with her spatula. Mousse shows up, tries to pick up Shampoo-cat. She scratches him, they both fall in the river again. Mousse surfaces, now a duck. Ukyo fishes them out again. Then Akane reaches them with a tea pot. She pours some on Ranma, then slaps him while he looks confused. Then the Credit sign comes up: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part seven: Ranma and Akane's Date (We see the sun has set and the stars are coming out. We briefly see Kasumi feeding something to Ryoga, who wakes up. We see Kodachi rushing about the Kuno mansion throwing things at servants and yelling while Tatewaki goes about holding his nose. We see Mousse sitting on the roof of the Nekohanten looking at the stars, who shift into an outline of Shampoo's face. We see Ukyo and Gosunkugi still snoring away in the now dark classroom at Furinkan High. We see Happosai fleeing across a rooftop from a short stout angry middle-aged woman with a Sake bottle in one hand and a fan with a rising sun on it in the other. Finally, we see Ranma and Akane. They are getting off a bus. Both are quite nicely dressed. Ranma is wearing a dark blue suit(which doesn't look natural, but does look good), and Akane is wearing a nice blue formal dress with white gloves, a flower in her hair and gold earrings on her ears.) Ranma: So...where are we eating? I'm starving. Akane: (starts to glare at him, catches herself) It's right over there. A very nice place called Ma Maison. It serves french food. Ranma: Well, anything's better than ....(catches himself) sounds good. (They go in and approach a waitress. She is a tall, thin regal looking brunette in her mid twenties.) Waitress: Table for two? Ranma: Yes. Waitress: Follow me. (leads them over to a table) Here you go. (Looks at them assessingly.) Hmm. First Date? (Ranma and Akane turn and stare at each other for a moment) Ranma: Yes.... Akane: No... Ranma: Well, sort of. Akane: True. We're... Ranma: Engaged, but it was... Akane: arranged. Waitress: How long? Akane: Two years. Waitress: And this is your first date? Ranma: Well, sort of. Waitress: sort of? Ranma: Well, the first voluntary one that went well...so far anyway. Waitress: Whatever. Well, here's the menu. I can wait for you, or you can call me when you're ready to order. (Scene cuts to a hotel room. There are a bunch of maps and ground plans on the table, around which sit the Dapper Man, the Bearded Man, and the Woman. Dapper Man: Do we have everything we need for phase 2? Bearded Man: Well, it took me a while to get the knock out gas, but those contacts the Tendo kid gave us came through once I showed them the cash. Woman: I know her usual routine at school. She's quite an athelete. Dapper Man: Can she fight? Woman: She practices something called "martial gymnastics". She has quite a reputation for attacking people before the matches to put them out of the running though. Very ruthless. (Camera pulls back. We see Kodachi is on the roof of the room over the table with a mallet clutched in her teeth. Her fingers are dug into the ceiling. She is glaring down at them and listening.) Bearded Man: How dangerous could she be if she has to cheat to win at those contests? Woman: She's apparently obsessed with this Ranma character she sent us to "rescue". He is engaged to someone else, but she won't rest until she gets him. Dapper Man: Hmmm. How much influence does their family have with local police? (Kodachi has had enough. She drops down and hammers the quite surprised Dapper Man's face into the table. He groans and collapses. The Bearded man pulls a gun, as does the Woman.) Bearded Man: Where'd she come from? (He aims to fire. Kodachi whips out a ribbon on a pole, tangles the gun with it, and flips it away. The woman shoots at her, she leaps onto the Bearded Man's head and tosses several ten-pins at her.) Bearded Man: Bad Move. (He tries to grab her feet. He does. She drops forward, rolls, and pulls him through it, then flings him at the Woman.) Bearded Man and Woman: OOOFFFF! Woman: Don't let her get to close to you. Bearded Man: I'll try to remember that. (Kodachi now ribbons and extracts the Woman's gun. They try to circle her and come from two sides.) Kodachi: How Pathetic. No skill at all. Bearded Man: We figured out what you were up to with that kid you wanted us to "rescue" Kodachi: I shall have him through you or despite you. (As they close in, she leaps, grabs the bearded man's shoulders, flips over him, then back kicks him into the woman. They fall, but stagger back up.) Kodachi: Still standing. Not too weak. (She now throws a lot of ten-pins at them. The woman collapses, but the bearded man keeps coming.) Bearded Man: You'll have to do better than that. Kodachi: Okay. (Ribbons the unconscious dapper man. Then she jumps back away from the approaching bearded man and swings the dapper man around the room, striking the Bearded man with him. He falls, but starts to get up again.) Bearded Man: (checks the dapper man, who now has a big head bruise) I knew this job was a bad idea. Kodachi: Reneging on our contract was a worse one. (She tosses a large ball at him. He takes it in the chin and face and finally collapses) Kodachi: So, the Tendo girl helped them plot revenge on me. I have another stop to make tonight. (scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Everyone(Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun, Genma, and Ryoga) is at the dinner table. Dinner is exceptionally large and diverse tonight. The men start pigging out, while the women are a little more dignified.) Soun: Ah! Soon it will all be settled. The dojo will be in good hands with your son and my daughter, Genma. Genma: Yes. Of course, you still need to find husbands for your other two daughters. Nabiki: I'm going to college before I even think about getting married. Kasumi: So when is your wife arriving, Mr. Saotome? Genma: Two days from now. Soun and I decided to wait on her arrival until after this marriage business is properly settled. Nabiki: You really think it will be settled in two days. Soun: I'm sure that once he has had a chance to calmly make his choice, Ranma will choose to marry Akane. (At the far end of the table, we see Ryoga start and choke on his food, having finally clued in to the conversation at the other end of the table.) Ryoga: (stands up) Ranma is marrying Akane?! Soun: They've gone on a date tonight, and tomorrow night he is going out with Ukyou, so he can decide between them. But I am sure he will choose my daughter. Ryoga: But I...how can you be sure? Soun: He knows his duty to his father. This was arranged long ago. And I can think of no better man to marry my youngest daughter. Ryoga: (looks crushed) I..I wanted...NO! (Turns and runs out the door) Kasumi: Oh dear. Soun: I hope he doesn't disrupt their date. Nabiki: He'll never find them. He doesn't know where they are. Kasumi: I should have let him sleep, but I was afraid he would get hungry. Nabiki: He slept all day. He didn't seem like that type. Kasumi: A really good meal will do that to you sometimes. Genma: I'll go after him. Nabiki: Let me take care of this. This should be fun. (runs out) (Scene cuts briefly to: Ukyo and Gosunkugi still snoring. Starlight makes their faces seem to glow. Mousse on the rooftop of the Nekohanten. Shampoo waitressing unhappily in her glasses. Then at Ma Maison--Ranma and Akane have been served. They are eating and talking.) Ranma: I think this is the first nice meal I've had in a long time that wasn't interrupted by an attack or forced me to make people mad at me by chosing to eat it. Akane: It is good. Ranma:... Akane:... (It is obvious they are not sure what to say next, but neither wants to just pig out and ignore the other one.) Ranma:You...you look really nice in that dress. Akane: (Warily) and... Ranma: You really know how to look good when you try. Akane: I...uh...You look really nice in your suit. You so rarely dress up. I was really surprised. Ranma: I...well...I had some advice...sort of. Akane: sort of advice? Ranma: It was my idea, but she confirmed it. (has sudden look of "Me and my big mouth") Akane: Who, Kasumi? Ranma: Uh, well, no, it... Akane: Who?(looks a little suspicious) Ranma: (looks around)See that mirror over there. Akane: Yes. Ranma: What do I look like in it to you? (We see the mirror. First we see Ranma and Akane as normal. Then we flash to a slightly different angle and see Ranma as a woman, though still in the suit, and Akane.) Akane: Normal. Well, normal as you ever are. Ranma: Well, I keep seeing what I looked like as a woman when I look in anything reflective. It even happened at lunch... Akane: Better the mirror than your body. Ranma: I think it may mean the curse isn't really broken. Akane:... Ranma: The trigger may have changed or it may come back after a while. Akane: Not another temporary cure. Ranma: I've been wanting to ask Dad if he keeps seeing Pandas or R...RRRR... Akane: RRRR? Ranma: Nothing. Maybe Dr. Tofu was right. Akane: About what? Ranma: He thought maybe there was some purpose behind all these curses from the pools and they couldn't be broken until the purpose was accomplished. Akane: But what purpose? Ranma: I don't know. (Silence again. They eat in quiet for a few moments.) (We cut to the Tendo Dojo. Kasumi is cleaning the kitchen. We hear a loud thump in the living room. We hear a body fall.) Soun: (From the living room) Hey, why did...(WHAM! We hear another body fall.) (Kasumi quietly gets the food Shampoo left her and puts it on the table.) Kasumi: (as door opens behind her, revealing Kodachi) Would you like something to eat? You look like you've been exercising. Kodachi: I'm not that stupid. I know too many food tricks to fall for that one. Kasumi: A girl can dream (Screen cuts as we Kodachi toss a gymnastics ball at Kasumi. (Scene cuts to a movie theatre. Ranma and Akane are rather better dressed than everyone else. Akane has a big popcorn bucket in her lap; they each have a soda. They are watching UY 5: Boy Meets Girl.) Akane: He loves her...Why won't he say so? Ranma: Because she's trying to force him to say it. He's not afraid of saying I love you...he said it to Shinobu. He just doesn't like having his free will taken away. Akane: But he never says I love you to her, even though he does. Ranma: It's not an easy thing to say, at anytime. If he ever says he loves her, all his friends will try to kill him because they want her. If he doesn't, she gets angry and zaps him. But whenever she really needs him, he comes running to her rescue. Akane: Kind of like us. Ranma: (Turns and looks at her)... Akane: Everybody except my family and your dad wants to drag us apart. Gosunkugi and Kuno and most of the other guys in the school want me, Ukyo and Shampoo and Kodachi want you. Mousse attacks you for being chased by Shampoo. We fight all the time, even though we're engaged. But you've always tried to defend me and stand up for me, and I've fought for you, too. I just don't know... Ranma: We haven't hit each other yet on this date. (smiles) Akane: True. Ranma: And we haven't been attacked yet.(In the back of the theatre, we see a familiar bokken wielding figure enter the theatre. He raises his sword.) Kuno: SAOTOME! PREPARE TO DIE FOR ... The Theatre as one: SHHHH!!!!! (Hordes of ushers mob Kuno and drag him away) Kuno: SAOTOME! I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU! Ranma: Well, at least we'll get to finish the movie. Akane: You're not going to run off to fight him now. Ranma: I...I'd rather be with you than be in a fight. Akane: (Smiles) ... Ranma:...especially with a blowhard like Kuno. (Scene cuts to the streets of the city. Ryoga is wandering aimlessly with a sad look on his face.) Ryoga: Akane! Where are you? (Shouted) (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Mousse is still on the roof. Nabiki runs up below.) Nabiki: Mousse! Mousse: (Leans over the roof) Yes? Nabiki: How would you like to earn some extra money? My dad will gladly pay you if you help me with something. Mousse: (leaps down) All right. I will need some extra money if Shampoo and I are ever to get married. Nabiki: Good. Now here's my plan. (scene cuts to the school. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are still asleep. Gosunkugi is mumbling in his sleep.) Gosunkugi:Akane...but can't have her...why Ranma...can't use magic...don't want to be alone...I wish there was someone else...to love... (A Shadow falls across them. It is the shadow of a woman in a leotard, with a rose in one hand. Scene cuts to the Movie theatre. The credits are rolling on the movie.) Ranma: Well, time to go. Akane: (getting up) What are you going to do about Kuno? Ranma: He won't take no for an answer. Akane: You're going to fight him? Ranma: If I still turned into a girl... Akane: you could just walk out of here, except then he'd hit on you. And you'd ruin your suit. Ranma: I don't want to turn our date into another ruined one. Akane: It has been nice so far. Ranma: Well, he can't watch all the exits...(sees the side exit) Akane: Hmmm... (They head over to the side exit and step out into the alley way. Then Ranma hefts Akane and they leap onto the roof. They peer over the edge at Kuno standing in front of the movie theatre. ) Ranma: Have a nice wait. (He lifts Akane and they spring from rooftop to rooftop.) Akane: Too bad you can't fly. Ranma: This is almost as good. Besides, birds have no hands and you wouldn't want me to carry you with my mouth. (They laugh and smile.) (Cut to a wandering Ryoga.) Ryoga: I can not find Akane. My heart is in ashes. (Suddenly, across the intersection, we see Ranma and Akane go by on the ground.) Ryoga: Akane! (He runs forward) (He gets closer. Ranma and Akane don't look quite right. They are dressed as we last saw them, but Ranma seems a little too tall, and Akane looks just a bit off.) Ryoga: Akane, are you really going to marry Ranma? ("Akane" and "Ranma" start running. Ryoga starts chasing them.) Ryoga: Ranma, bring her back! Akane, don't run. (We see an overhead view of them running through the maze of streets. Then we cut to a park where the real Ranma and Akane are. A river runs through it. They are standing under a tree, looking out at the river and the stars.) Ranma: I've been thinking... Akane: That's a first. Ranma: (Stares at her, looks a bit mad) What'd you say that for? Akane: (looks embarrassed) I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Instinct? Ranma: Thanks a lot. Hmph. (Leans against the tree) Akane: (moves closer, almost touches his shoulder, but stops) I..uh...What did you want to tell me? Ranma: If my curse came back, and we discovered it could never be cured, would you still be willing to marry me? Akane: (looks shocked) Ranma: Would you? Akane: But you're cured. Ranma: I can see her in mirrors, in your eyes, in the river...I don't think its over, or why would I keep seeing what I looked like as a woman? Akane: I don't know. Ranma: I've had so many "cures" fail. Would you marry me if I was cursed forever? Akane: Well, we could save on clothing by sharing, but we'd need more... Ranma: Akane, are you listening to me? Akane: Yes. Ranma: Then answer the question! Akane: Don't yell at me! (starting to get mad) Ranma: I'm not yelling!(reciprocating. We start to hear faint cries in the distance). Akane: Ranma no Baka! Ranma: Uncute! Akane: Hentai! Ranma: Unfeminine! Akane: Baka! Hentai! Ranma: (begins to laugh. The distant cries are joined by running noises) Akane: What's so funny! (looks mad, but a little confused) Ranma: If I had a hundred yen for every time we've, we've (laughing too much to continue) Akane: what?! (looks more confused now) Ranma: (sobers a little, but not much) for every time we've used those same four insults on each other, I'd be richer than Kuno. (parroting) Ranma no Baka! Uncute! Hentai! Unfeminine! (laughs some more) We really need to think of some new insults (laughs more) Akane: (Smiles a little) well maybe... Ranma: Otherwise our grandchildren will say, "But mom, if we go to see our grandparents they'll just sit around and call each other Baka and Uncute the whole time. That's boring."(laughs more) Akane: And the parents will say "You should imagine what growing up with them was like." (starts giggling) (They stagger around laughing as the chase sounds get closer) Distant Voice: RANMA! STOP RUNNING SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE BEATING YOU DESERVE! Another Distant Voice: Ah, Akane, so beautiful as we run in the moonlight. Let me kiss you. Distant Voice 1: NO!!!!!!! (We now see the fake Akane and Ranma from the earlier scene. They are pretending to kiss, but Ryoga who is chasing them can't tell from behind them. The fake Ranma is carrying the fake Akane now. The fake Ranma spots the real one, who spots him in return.) Ranma: What the... Akane:... (The runners stop. Ryoga stares back and forth.) Ryoga: Hey, what's going on here? Ranma: (points at Fake Ranma) Who are you? Fake Ranma: (points at Ranma) Who are you? Both: I am Saotome Ranma. Ryoga: (looks seriously confused) What about... Both Akanes: I am Tendo Akane. She's an imposter. Ryoga: Now, there can only be one real Akane and Ranma, now who... Fake Akane: Are you sure? Ryoga: What? Akane: Eh? Fake Akane (becoming more confident in tone) Maybe you're dreaming this whole thing. Maybe you want there to be two Akanes, so that you don't have to compete with Ranma, but your subconcious feels guilty so you made another Ranma too. Akane: (to Ranma) What is she talking about? Ranma: I haven't got a clue. I think I've seen whoever that is pretending to be me somewhere before. Akane: The fake me looks familiar too. Ranma: Ryoga is a sucker for disguises, though. Fake Akane: You saw Ranma carrying me away from you, the way he always does, so you created the image of another Akane, a fake Akane, who is over there. Would the real Ranma do anything as romantic as taking Akane out to look at the stars over the river? Ranma: Hey! Fake Akane: (really into it now) Would the real Akane stand so close to Ranma unless he grabbed her and was carrying her off? (Ranma and Akane suddenly look at each other and realize they are now standing in rather close proximity, but don't move quite yet. They look very confused.) Fake Akane: You're just imagining them, Ryoga. Ranma: I'm as real as you are! (Akane grabs his shoulder) Akane: Let her keep talking. If they lead Ryoga away, you won't have to ruin your suit in a fight. Ranma: I can't let them risk their necks for me, especially if they say I'm a figment of Ryoga's imagination. (We see Ryoga. He looks really confused.) Akane: At least let's see what she's getting at. I think I recognize that voice. Fake Akane: (to fake Ranma) Run like the wind. (to all) Help, help Ryoga! He's taking me away....(Fake Ranma takes off running.) Ryoga: NO!!!!! Ranma: We've got to help those idiots. Ryoga will kill them. Akane: Why is he so angry? (they start to run, but Akane can't run well in the shoes she is wearing. Ranma picks her up) Ranma: He's in...I... Akane: He's...? Ranma: Maybe he's finally flipped. (They run down the street. Fake Ranma leaps to a rooftop and the chase proceeds from roof to roof. Every so often, he grabs a tile, a rock, or even dirt and tosses it at Ryoga, who avoids it all. ) Akane: Hmm, I wonder if that ponytail is real... (They all leap across a street. Fake Ranma briefly splashes his foot in a rain gutter and stumbles, but gets up before Ryoga reaches him. Clouds begin to cover the sky. The chase continues. ) Akane: I know I've heard that woman's voice Ranma: Me too. Akane: not.... Ranma: Nabiki? Akane: But why? (They run to the edge of a roof. Fake Ranma jumps off. Ryoga jumps after him. Ranma stops at the edge. We see Fake Ranma land on the diving board of the pool below the edge of the roof and spring back up to the roof top. Ryoga falls into the pool. Akane turns to look at the Fake Ranma and Akane. Ranma sees P-chan bob to the surface of the pool and swim out of it. Akane looks back at the pool, but doesn't notice P-chan in the grass.) Akane: Where'd Ryoga go? Ranma:...(look of fear) I knew it. Akane: knew what? Fake Akane: (quietly) Run you two idiots before Ryoga gets back up here. We're trying to insure your date isn't ruined. If you leave, we may get him to believe he imagined the whole double Ranma/Akane bit? Akane: Where did Ryoga go? Fake Akane: (moans) Go! Go! Go! We'll take good care of him! I'll bill you later! (Ranma grabs Akane and runs.) Ranma: It was Nabiki! Akane: Who's impersonating you? Ranma: He's good, whoever he is. (Back at the pool. We see Fake Akane and Ranma down in the grass by P-chan.) Fake Akane: look Ranma, its' P-chan. I've been looking for him. (Fake Ranma fishes Ryoga's clothes out of the pool) Fake Akane: So where is Ryoga? Fake Ranma: (winks at P-chan, hides clothes behind tree) I don't know. Maybe he went mad and left. (suddenly, the now basically dry P-chan turns a nice normal pinkish pig color. Fake Akane starts.) Fake Akane: Hey! (Suddenly Ryoga reverts to Human form. Boy is he embarrassed.) Fake Akane: AHHHHH!!!!!! Fake Ranma: (stares at him) What the? Fake Akane: P-chan is... Ryoga: AHHHH!!!! (runs behind tree, clothing donning sounds) Fake Akane: You've been...every night sometimes... Ryoga: I...uh.... Fake Akane: Hentai! Ryoga: (pales) Akane, I... Fake Akane: If I ever see you again, I'm going to kill you for what you've done! Ryoga: But I never meant to... Fake Akane: (Boy does she look mad) I've done some things for m...I've done some shady things, but to lie like that... Ryoga: NOOOOOO!!!!!!(flees the area) Fake Akane(nabiki): He's been lying to my sister, sneaking into her bed as a pig! Fake Ranma(Mousse): I... Nabiki as Akane: I don't know whether to kill him, blackmail him, or ask him how he's gotten away with it for so long. Mousse as Ranma: (stares at her) Nabiki as Akane: Well, that will keep him away for the rest of the night. Mousse as Ranma: I think it would be better not to tell Akane. She would kill him. Nabiki as Akane: We'll have to think about it. They'll owe me big for this night's work, one way or another. (We see a shadow from the rooftop behind them. It is the shadow of a pony-tailed woman in a body hugging outfit with a bouquet of flowers. It moves away.) (We see Akane and Ranma on a rooftop somewhere. They are lying on their backs near each other looking at the stars.) Akane: What's wrong? You look so glum. Ranma: I would have to break an oath to tell you. Akane: You can't even tell your fiancee? Ranma: I couldn't tell my own brother if I had one. I made a mistake a long time ago and this relates to my atonement for it. Akane: Why won't you share your secrets with me? (looks a little angry) Ranma: I can't...not this one. You would... Akane: Would What! (looks angrier) Ranma: explode. Akane: (Sits up, turns away from him) You never trust me with anything! You won't tell me anything, you won't let me cook for you, (starts to cry) you flirt with other women, and I can't make you stop... Ranma: I... Akane: (crying more) in the bath with Shampoo, you'd rather eat Ukyou's cooking than mine, you even let yourself be engaged to Nabiki... Ranma: Don't cry. Akane: You don't care if I cry. Ranma: Yes, I do. Akane: Why? Ranma: I don't want to make my fiancee cry. (They stare at each other for a moment. Akane begins to perk up.) Ranma: (Comes over to her, kneels in front of her) Want to know a secret? Akane: What! Ranma: Kasumi baked us a special cake for when we get home from our date, but she doesn't know that I know about it. Akane: She did? Ranma: She's no good at being sneaky. Akane: That's not much of a secret. Ranma: Its' a start. We'd better get home before it gets too late. Akane: (looks happier) Okay. (Scene cuts to them returning to the Dojo. There is a note on the table. It says--) Note: I have your family and your goons. If Ranma doesn't agree to marry me, I will give them to my pet crocodile as playmates. Love, Kuno Kodachi. P.S. The Wedding is scheduled for this saturday. Ranma: I guess we'll have to wait on the cake. Akane: (hits him with a chair) Baka! (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (end part 7) (Start part 8) (We start with a wavy scene--obviously a flashback--voiceover by Akane: Akane Voiceover: I should have known that a date with Ranma wouldn't end well. (We see Akane and Ranma enter the dojo. The dish and thermos that Shampoo brought to Kasumi is still on the kitchen table. There is a note on the table next to it. It says--) Note: I have your family and your goons. If Ranma doesn't agree to marry me, I will give them to my pet crocodile as playmates. Love, Kuno Kodachi. P.S. The Wedding is scheduled for this saturday. Ranma: I guess we'll have to wait on the cake. Akane: (hits him with a chair) Baka! Ranma: Uncute! (lashes out with a series of rapid blows. Somehow Akane jumps onto his arms and kicks him in the face, then leaps onto the table.) Oww! (He falls down) Akane: Ha! Ranma: Let's see you dodge this! (He leaps over her and back kicks. Unfortunately, she ducks and swipes his other leg out from under him. He falls off the table.) Getting quicker, I see. Akane: Getting slower, I see. Ranma: Why, you! (Starts to run forward, then rolls under the table to come up behind her. Unfortunately, she has already turned around and punches him into the wall.) Oof! (Akane opens up the dish Shampoo left. It has a cake in it. She tosses the cake at Ranma as he gets up. He blocks most of it, but some of it lands in his mouth. He quickly chews it up and swallows it.) Ranma: Hmm. Good cake. Obviously, you didn't bake it. Akane: I HATE YOU! (She leaps on him, pummeling him at high speed, then hefts him and kicks him out the door before he can react. Then she notices a note that fell to the ground when she picked up the plate. It says "I hope you enjoy the cake. It's one of great-grandmother's special recipies. Shampoo.") Akane: Oh no! Ranma ate some of this. I wonder what the stuff in this thermos does. (opens it. It looks like herb tea.) Hmm. Smells safe. Probably not, though. (Ranma staggers in the door) Ranma: Thirsty! I'm so thirsty! (acts like typical horror movie zombie closing in on Akane and the thermos) Must have herb tea. Thirsty! (Akane backs up) Akane: No Ranma! It's more magic food from Shampoo! Ranma: Must have Herb Tea! Must have Herb Tea! (Chases her around the room) Akane: Get back or I'll throw it out the window! (Stands by window) Ranma: Must have Herb Tea! (closing in) Akane: There it goes! (Acts like she throws it out window, actually hides it behind her) Ranma: Herb Tea! (out the window he goes) Akane: I'll make some for when he gets back. Meanwhile, I'll hide this one. (Hides it inside one of the counters) So what goes in Herb Tea anyway? (Credit sequence: Queen's It's a kind of Magic is the theme song, during which we see Akane walking to school while Ranma walks along on top of the fence. Then we see Shampoo bicycling straight at him on top of the fence. He falls off the fence and rolls down the slope towards the river. We see Akane jump over the fence. Shampoo jumps off the fence on her bike. Down by the river, Ryoga looks nervously at the water as Gosunkugi is dancing around him and chanting. Ukyo sits nearby with her spatula, looking on amusedly. Ranma crashes into Ryoga and they both fall into the river. Shampoo tries to brake, skids on the grass and goes in. They surface as Ranma-chan, P-chan, and Shampoo-cat. Ukyo begins fishing them out with her spatula. Mousse shows up, tries to pick up Shampoo-cat. She scratches him, they both fall in the river again. Mousse surfaces, now a duck. Ukyo fishes them out again. Then Akane reaches them with a tea pot. She pours some on Ranma, then slaps him while he looks confused. Then the Credit sign comes up: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part eight: The Rescuers (We see Akane make Herb tea. She boils some water, puts teabags in it, then pours a little of everything from the spice drawer into it, including three odd bottles labeled--Saved Passion Spice, Kasumi's special spice, ask her before using, and Compassion spice.She is quite obviously not looking at the labels, but just trying everything.) Akane: I hope he likes it. This took a lot of effort. (She stirs it with a big two pronged fork.) Hmmm. Smells good. (She pours him a cup) Ranma: (Crashes through door) Herb Tea! Need Herb Tea now! (Still zombie like) Akane: (points to glass) Right there! Ranma: Hmmm. Smells good. (Akane smiles) Ranma: (Drinks the glass. Pours a second. Drinks it. Pours one more. We can see that the stuff is rather molasses like with all the stuff Akane added. He doesn't drink the third glass yet.) Hmm. Good(zombie voice) I...Hey, that was good.(Normal voice) Akane: It was? Ranma: Yes. I really needed that. (looks around) Hey how'd I get in here? Akane: Let me try some. Ranma: (absentmindedly hands her the glass) I feel a bit wierd. Akane: (Drinks it down) Hmm. That is good, although I think I added too much spice. It isn't very liquid, anymore. Ranma: I shouldn't have hit you earlier (goofy grin on face) Akane: (starting to get a odd look) I started it. Ranma: (leaps at her) But I'm going to finish it. Akane: Hey! (He grabs her into an embrace. He is grinning like a mad man. She is starting to get a silly grin herself.) Ranma: I have something to tell you, Tendo Akane. Akane: What? (They smile at each other in a way that they normally never would.) Ranma: I love you, Tendo Akane. Akane: Guess what? (giggles.) Ranma: What? Akane: I love you too, Saotome Ranma. (Their heads come together. They kiss. This goes on for a long time. Suddenly the rest of the magical spices kick in. They pass out on the kitchen floor, still embracing with their heads face to face(Ranma on bottom).) (Scene cuts to next morning. Kodachi is checking her captives. Genma and Soun are tied up back to back in one corner. Kasumi, who now has a bruise on one cheek is tied up back to back with Nabiki. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the Woman are veritably swathed in chains, handcuffs, ropes, and bombs. They hang over a shark pit. Ryoga is a pig in a cage. Mousse has been turned into a duck and locked in a large aquarium. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are tied up back to back, but they are still asleep. Gosunkugi is still mumbling...) Gosunkugi: How will I tell Belldandy that I love her....No Urd, I won't use one of your love potions... Kodachi: What is that idiot mumbling about? He's been talking in his sleep ever since I dragged him here. Nabiki: You'd better let us go! Kodachi: or what? Genma: My son will destroy you if any of us come to harm. Kodachi: Ha! He will be mine, or you will all be fish food, starting with my untrustworthy employees. Dapper Man: You can't hold us forever. Inspector Zenigata will find us soon, and he won't look kindly on you kidnapping people. Kodachi: You want to go to jail, Mr. Lupin III. When I hired you, I knew all about your criminal record. You'll be in jail for a very long time. You too, Jigen, and you, Fujiko. If I don't get to feed you to the sharks, I'll be feeding you to the courts instead. Bearded Man(Jigen): You'll regret this. Kodachi: I never regret anything I do. That's why I have so much fun! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!(utterly maniacal laughter) Gosunkugi: Kanrinin-san! Wait!....I'll save you, Akane-chan!... (Scene cuts to Tendo Dojo. Shampoo has just parked her bike in front of the Tendo dojo. She takes off her glasses, puts them in her pocket, gets out another thermos, then knocks. No answer. She waits, then opens the door. Inside she sees Akane and Ranma still asleep on the floor. Shampoo: Who is that? (peers through fuzzy vision) Nabiki and Ryoga? I never would have guessed. (wanders into the house, knocking over furniture and bumping into things.) Shampoo: Ranma! Ranma! Ranma! Where are you? (She still has the thermos) Ranma: (Still on floor, muttering in sleep)Hello, Nabiki. Hello, Ranma-chan. Hello, pop. Hello,... Shampoo: (Turns around) Ranma? I hear you, but where are you? Akane: (also muttering in Sleep)Kuno, you marry the pig-tail girl. I'm not marrying you, I'm marrying ... Shampoo: (looks in kitchen, puts on glasses, sees Ranma and Akane) AAHHH!!! (She pulls a sword, charges in, then realizes they are sleeping. She tries to pry them apart. They won't let go. She pulls up one of Ranma's eyebrows.) Ahhh. Looks like they ate some sleep spice. Good thing I brought Break Spell Tea so Kasumi couldn't pull one over on me again. (She pours some of the tea down Ranma's throat. His eyes pop open. He realizes he is holding Akane very close on the floor and vice versa. ) Ranma: Ahh! (Tries to get loose from Akane, but can't pry her still sleeping form loose from himself.) Hey, what's going on? Wake up! Shampoo: I think she ate sleep spice like you. Ramma: But I'm the one who ate the cake you made. Shampoo: I didn't put sleep spice in the cake. I put a concoction that made you crave herb tea. The herb tea had the sleep spice and some other stuff in it, like hair loss powder. Ranma: I remember drinking some herb tea last night!(grabs his head, feels his hair, sighs in relief) Shampoo: (points at tea pot on table) It was in a thermos, not a pot. Someone else did this to you. Ranma: (looks at Akane) Akane? But it tasted good. Shampoo: (sniffs tea) Hmm. Looks like molasses. Smells like just about everything, including...sugar, mint, sleep spice, and uh oh. Ranma: Uh oh? Shampoo: She gave you some? Ranma: Yes. Shampoo: Did you give her some? Ranma: She took a cup I poured. Shampoo: (Evil grin) Hmm. I'll take this home for great-grandmother to analyze. Ranma: I need your help. Kodachi kidnapped everyone last night. We have to rescue them. Akane: (talking in sleep) Mmm. Ranma, you're so handsome... Shampoo: So you spent the night on the floor with her? Ranma: I didn't plan it that way. Akane must have accidentally made magic tea. Shampoo: some accident. So what will you give me, if I help you? Ranma: Uh, well, I'll, I'll go out on a date with you. Shampoo: two dates. Ranma: alright. Two dates. Shampoo: Right. (pries Akane off Ranma, puts her in a chair, feeds her some tea.) Akane: Hmm. That was...Hey, the sun is shining! Ranma: We slept all night after we drank that herb tea. Akane: I guess I must have put too much of something in it. Ranma: We've got to go rescue everyone from Kodachi. Shampoo has agreed to help. Akane: Why are you wearing glasses, shampoo? Ranma: They look like Moose's glasses. Shampoo: (Quickly takes them off) Glasses? What glasses? Akane: (Hmmm.) (Scene cuts to a little while later. Akane and Ranma have both changed into Judo outfits. Shampoo is carrying a sword and an ornate mace. They are running across roof tops.) Shampoo: (Thinking) I hope Ranma hasn't figured out that I can't see very well now. Ranma: (Thinking) Did I really kiss Akane last night? My memory is kinda fuzzy after the cake hit me... Akane: (Thinking) Did I really kiss Ranma last night? What did I put in that tea? Ranma:...(looks at Akane) Akane:...(looks at Ranma) (We cut to Kodachi's lair. Genma and Soun are tied up back to back in one corner. Kasumi, who now has a bruise on one cheek is tied up back to back with Nabiki. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the Woman are veritably swathed in chains, handcuffs, ropes, and bombs. They hang over a shark pit. Ryoga is a pig in a cage. Mousse has been turned into a duck and locked in a large aquarium. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are tied up back to back, but they are still asleep. Gosunkugi is still mumbling.) Gosunkugi: No, don't do it Ranma. Marry Ukyou so I can marry Akane... Kodachi: Who are you talking to? Gosunkugi: Akane? Kodachi: I am not that little tomboy! Gosunkugi: B-ko! Kodachi: What? Gosunkugi: A-ko is coming to rescue me, you'll see... Kodachi: What world are you living in? Kuno: (enters) Face it sister, you have finally met someone madder than you! Kodachi: What are you doing here? Kuno: I live here, too. Kodachi: Good point. Kuno: So why hasn't Saotome responded to your challenge yet? Nabiki: He's probably sneaking up behind you right now. Kodachi: (spins around) Nope. (Kuno taps Gosunkugi on the head.) Kuno: Anybody home? Gosunkugi: Never anger a sorceror (still asleep) Kuno: A sorceror, eh? Gosunkugi: I sleep now to regain my strength. Kodachi: Hmm. I could use a sorceror. Could you use a spell to keep Ranma from escaping me? Gosunkugi: What do I get? Kodachi: to live. (Scene cuts to Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo. They are climbing the wall into the Kuno estate. There are many armed guards marching around. They slip past the guards into the mansion. Heading through the halls, they wander for a long time until they hear---) Kodachi: Well. I supose it is time to dispose of these idiots. I am tired of looking at them. Ranma and Akane: NOOOO!!!!(They sprint towards the voice, followed by Shampoo. They push open the doors and see two Kuno family goons turning the crank to lower Lupin III, Jigen, and Fujiko into the crocodile pool.) Lupin III: Ah. The cavalry has arrived. Jigen: Good. Now I can kill you for getting me into this before I die. (Akane rushes over to her father and Genma, Ranma faces off with Kodachi, and Shampoo confronts Kuno.) Shampoo: Mousse? Kuno: Yes. It keeps my hair in perfect shape during combat. (They start fighting. Because she can't see, Kuno begins to get the upper hand.) (Akane unties Genma and Soun as goons start to pour into the room. Genma and Soun start kicking them to kingdom come.) Ranma: Why do you keep doing this? (to Kodachi) Kodachi: (Picks up a covered cage) I burn for you. No one makes me feel like you do. Ranma: I don't love you. Kodachi: Take that back. Ranma: No! Kodachi: Then suffer. (She uncovers the cage. There is a cat in it. She opens the cage and tosses the cat onto Ranma. He locks up in Paralysis.) (Akane reaches Kasumi and Nabiki. She unties them and sees the bruise on Kasumi's face.) Akane: What happened? Kasumi: I was the last person she grabbed at the house. I offered her some food, then she hit me with her mallet. Akane: (With a look of pure rage on her face. Shouts at Kodachi) You crazy bitch! You hurt the sweetest, most harmless person in the whole world, my sister. I'm going to rip you apart! (Runs at Kodachi.) Kodachi: I shall enjoy humiliating you. (leaps away, lashes out with a ribbon, pulls Akane's legs out from under you.) (Meanwhile, Shampoo and Kuno's fight has moved near the sharkpool. She lunges at him, misses and falls in.) Kuno: Farewell. I shall miss your beauty. (Goes after Genma) You are next, father of the accursed Saotome Ranma. Genma: (Grabs the sword, pulls it away from Kuno, throws it in the sharkpool) We shall see. (Grabs Kuno, tosses him across the room. Kuno ends up with his head stuck in P-chan's cage. P-chan bites him.) Jigen: Excuse me for asking, BUT WILL SOMEBODY GET US DOWN FROM HERE? Those Fighting below: No! Jigen: Sorry for asking. (We briefly see Shampoo-cat desperately paddling through the shark pool trying not to be eaten. Then we see Genma come after Kuno, who gets up with his head still stuck in the cage. Genma strikes him several times, the Kuno head butts him. The cage breaks and P-chan gets loose. He scampers over toward Kodachi and Akane's fight. We see Mousse-duck ramming the side of the aquarium, which is starting to shake. We see Soun fighting dozens of goons. Nabiki and Kasumi have gotten over to the door, which Nabiki closes and locks.) Nabiki: Well, no one else will get in now. Kasumi: Where'd Shampoo go? Nabiki: I guess the sharks ate her. Kasumi: eyuh(sound of slight nausea) (Akane is pressing Kodachi hard. Kodachi is holding her off mainly by constantly jumping away from her blows.) Kodachi: Don't look now, there's someone behind you. Akane: I know(There really is someone. Akane reaches back, grabs him, and throws him at Kodachi. Kodachi ducks, lashes out with a ribbon, and pulls Akane off her feet, then leaps over her and comes down with a mallet. Akane rolls out of the way and springs to her feet. Then P-chan jumps on Kodachi and bites her. Kodachi flings p-chan into the sharkpool.) Akane: (Running past Kodachi towards the pool) P-chan! Kodachi: (strikes Akane from behind, felling her) What an idiot. (We see Genma finish off Kuno. He has one foot on Kuno's feet and is using him as a punching bag. Finally Kuno collapses. Meanwhile, we see Kasumi calling the cat on Ranma.) Kasumi: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come to momma. Kitty: Meow! (Scampers over to Kasumi) (Ranma staggers to his feet.) Ranma: Oh, I feel woozy. (Meanwhile, Kodachi confronts Genma.) Kodachi: I will have to destroy you for what you have done. Genma: Your brother was a fool to attack me. Kodachi: I was talking about the pig cage you broke. That was expensive. (Tosses some pins at him, he easily deflects them.) (Genma leaps at him, she leaps away up onto the head of Lupin III. She then launches herself off him, setting the roped trio swinging. We briefly notice Lupin has gotten his arms free. She zooms down at Genma who leaps up to meet her. They collide in mid air and fall to the ground. Genma lands on Ranma, who is knocked for a loop for the moment. We cut briefly to see P-chan and Shampoo-cat dodging crocodiles, then back to Kasumi and Nabiki.) Kasumi: (to the kitty) Good kitty. Nabiki: We need to wake up Ukyou and Gosunkugi. Kasumi: Good idea. (They start trying to shake Ukyou and Gosunkugi awake.) (Genma has backed Kodachi into a corner.) Kodachi: I yield to your superior skill. (Whips out a bouquet of flowers) Flowers for the victor. Genma: Thank you. (sniffs the flowers, passes out) Kodachi: And now to dispose of my rival. (She goes over to Akane and hefts her to toss her into the crocodile pit. At this moment, Mousse tips over his aquarium. It falls, breaks, and water flows out. For once, it doesn't wet Ranma, but it the noise does revive him.) Ranma: I...Hey! (Mousse duck flies around Kodachi's head, making her stagger back away from the pit, then he flies down and grasps shampoo-cat with his beak, pulling her out of the crocodile pit. Ranma confronts Kodachi.) Ranma: PUT HER DOWN NOW! Kodachi: I must dispose of her that you will be free to return my love for you. Ranma: I'll never love you, never. Kodachi: Then we shall have to do this the hard way. (balances Akane on the edge of the pit.) Let us dance. (She leaps at Ranma, he dodges easily. A dozen blows, a dozen dodges, but he looks a little tired by them. He lashes out, she blocks his blows. The fight continues thus. Neither can land a solid blow.) Ranma: (thought) What is this? First Akane beats me up, then I can't beat Kodachi. What is wrong? (He manages to nail Kodachi by tumbling past her and back kicking her, but then she spins and nails him in the head with a tossed ball. He staggers a bit, then easily ducks a flying kick.) Kodachi: (thinking) Hmm. This is taking two long. When in doubt... (Mousse Duck has gotten Shampoo-cat to safety. She shakes herself dry and looks pretty aweful. She somehow still has his glasses perched on her face. He folds a wing over her. Meanwhile, Gosunkugi is still asleep, but the Tendo sisters have wakened Ukyou.) Ukyou: Ran-chan is in trouble! (She rushes into battle, tossing spatulas at Kodachi. Kodachi dodges them, but is unable to avoid a blow from Ranma, who punches her left arm. She staggers away. Then we see a crocodile rear up in the pit with P-chan perched desperately on its snout.) Ranma: Ryouga! Ucchan, get R...P-chan out of there before he gets eaten! I can handle this incompetent girl. (Ucchan rushes over to the pit and flips P-chan out with her giant spatula.) Kodachi: Incompetent, am I? (Slings a hoop at Ranma's feet) Ranma: (leaps up to avoid hoop, gets hit by thrown ball in gut.) Yes..ooof! Akane: (Akane starts to get up. Sees P-chan on the spatula.) P-chan! Ukyou: (Flips P-chan to her.) Safe and Sound (Then runs towards Kodachi) Take this. (Spatula to the head, then under Kodachi's feet flipping her into the air. Ranma leaps into the air and kicks Kodachi in the gut. Kodachi falls back in an arc where Ukyou uses her spatula to flip Kodachi into the crocodile pit. Kodachi leaps off a croc's head and lands next to Akane, who drops P-chan.) Akane: YOU!@#$^%#$^@#$%! (She hooks Kodachi's knees with one leg and pulls her down, then sits on her back and starts slamming Kodachi's head into the ground.) I! Have! Had! Enough! OF YOU! (Bam! Bam! Bam! The others pull her off Kodachi. ) Ukyou: Careful, you might have killed her if you kept that up. Akane: Death would be too good for her(growls a little) (Kasumi and Nabiki help the tied up trio get down.) Lupin III: I almost had us loose. Nabiki: Almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades. (We see Soun still besieged by goons.) Soun: Help! Please! (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Lupin III, Fujiko, Jigen, Nabiki, Genma, Soun, Ryoga, Gosunkugi(still snoozing), Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyou, Ranma, and Akane are crammed around the table. Kasumi is serving a nice lunch. Everyone is eating and drinking.) Ranma: At least that's one person I can gladly mark off my list of people to marry. Ukyou: So are we still going out tonight? (Akane glares at both of them) Ranma: Uh...(glances at Akane) Shampoo: And when are we going on our TWO dates? Ukyou and Akane: Two dates? Ranma: I had to promise her two dates to get her to help us rescue... Akane: All she did was fall in the pool and turn into a cat! Ranma: But I did promise... Akane: Baka! (Is about to hit Ranma when...) Kasumi: Is everyone enjoying the herb tea? Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo(with fear) Herb tea? Kasumi: Yes, someone left some herb tea out, so I... (Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo yell with fear, stare at everyone, then flee) Kasumi: felt inspired to make some fresh tea, which I served. What's wrong with them? Ukyou: Good question. (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (End part 8) (start part 9) (We see the Tendo house in the evening. Kasumi is cooking dinner. Nabiki is saying farewell to Lupin III and company at the front door. Soun and Genma are sparring in the Dojo. Ranma is trying to get the dust off his suit from sleeping on the floor in it and looking for something to wear. Akane is sulking in her room.) Akane: Stupid Ranma! Promising two dates for Shampoo when she didn't even do anything useful when we had to fight Kodachi this morning. And he wouldn't help me look for P-chan after the fight. For that matter, he spent most of the fight cowering from a cat while I fought Kodachi for him. And now he's going off on a date with Ukyou tonight as if he wasn't engaged to me. Baka! (In Ranma's room, he obviously only hears the BAKA! from what Akane says above) Ranma: She must still be mad because I wouldn't help look for P-chan. I'm sure P-chan wanted to get to cover before he turned back. I guess the curse must only come back gradually, at least for him. (Looks up, sees Ranma-chan, his female self, in the mirror.) Hmm. I wonder if he's been seeing P-chan in mirrors. Ryouga: (Who we now see sitting in the window) Well, I was, until it wore off. Ranma: (starts) I was afraid of that. Has your curse come all the way back? Ryouga: Not entirely, but one or two immersions and I'll probably be back to "normal." Ranma: Did Gosunkugi use the same water for you that he used for me and Dad? Ryouga: I think so. Ranma: Maybe the potency wore off so the curse came back faster for you. I can still see myself as a woman in the mirror. Ryouga: I can see her too. Ranma: What! Ryouga: You look female to me in the mirror. Ranma: Nobody else could see it... Ryouga: Have you asked Shampoo or Mousse? Ranma: The last thing I need is either of them in my Bedroom. Ryouga: your dad? Ranma: I didn't want him to think... Ryouga: No danger of that. Ranma: He is my dad, you can't just insult... Ryouga: So why are you getting dressed up? Ranma: I have a date with Ukyou tonight and I have to find something to wear now that my suit is dirty. Ryouga: perfect. Ranma: Huh? Ryouga: See you later. (leaps onto roof) Ranma: What was that all about? (We cut to Akane's room. Ryouga appears in the window. She doesn't see him, as she is still moping at her desk.) Ryouga: Akane? Akane: (turns) What? Ryouga: (taken aback) I...uh...since Ranma will be going out tonight...I...well...would you like to go out on a date with me tonight? Akane: (glares for a moment) I...sure! I'll show Ranma I don't need him to have a good time! Let's go! Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part nine: Dating Rivalry! War of the Hearts! (We see Gosunkugi snoring away in a bed at his house. We see Happosai, running across a roof top, now being chased by a red-haired caucasian in a Japaneese school girl uniform and a shorter blond girl with permed hair and a goofy grin. The Red Haired Girl grabs him and punts him into the sunset. Then we cut to Ukyou's restaurant, where Ukyou is getting dressed up for her date with Ranma. ) Ukyou: (talking to herself in the mirror) So, who's the fairest of them all? (she laughs) (She looks quite good. Having heard of what Ranma wore to last night's date, she has obviously determined to outdo Akane. She is wearing a Red evening gown with long red gloves. She looks stunning. There is a knock at the door. She opens it. Ranma is there in clothing that doesn't quite fit and looks borrowed. He is wearing a too large brown jacket (Mr. Tendo's in size), a white button shirt that does fit, black slacks that are a little short, and a blue tie. He has the "I am underdressed" look on his face after he looks at Ukyou.) Ranma: Uh...er..you... Ukyou: Yes? Ranma: You look really amazingly good. I...wow. Ukyou: Thank you, Ranma. Ranma: So where do you want to go eat? Ukyou: Anywhere you want to go is fine with me. Ranma: But..I..okay. I know a French place...no that wouldn't be a good idea. Ukyou: I like French food. Lets' go. Ranma: Ur...okay. (And they're off. Elsewhere, we see Ryouga has rented/borrowed/found/created ex nihilo a Tux. Akane once again comes down in casual clothes, sees him, retreats upstairs and returns in style. This time she is wearing a red evening gown with long red gloves. She looks exquisite. When Ryouga sees her, he just stares mindlessly.) Akane: Are you okay? Ryouga: Fine. Uh, you look great. Akane: Thank you, Ryouga. I'm glad that somebody doesn't think I'm uncute. Ryouga: I would never say that. (They head into the kitchen, heading for the exit. Kasumi is hard at work.) Kasumi: Oh, are you two going out? Akane: Since Ranma has decided to spend the next three nights with OTHER women, I'm going out with Ryouga tonight. Kasumi: That's nice. Where are you going to eat? Ryouga: I have no idea. Kasumi: How about that nice French restaurant over in... Akane: I was there with Ranma last night. The staff might... Kasumi: It's nice and easy to find. If the staff asks, just tell them you are Akane's twin sister, Akemi. They probably won't even remember you. Akane: Thanks, sis. How's the bruise? Kasumi: (turns--the bruise is almost entirely gone..) Growing up in this house meant learning to heal quick. I'm fine. Akane: Have a nice night. (They leave) Kasumi: Hmm. Extra food. Maybe I should invite a guest. Maybe Dr. Tofu? (We see Ranma and Ukyou at Ma Maison, the restaurant that he and Akane were at last night. They are looking at menus.) Ukyou: Ooh. What a nice selection. Ranma: (looking a little paranoid) Uh huh. (The waitress comes. She is the same one from last night.) Waitress: Hi, can I...hey, didn't I see you last night? You were with your fiancee. So who is this young lady? Ukyou: I'm his fiancee, not... Ranma: You must be thinking of my twin brother Ranma. My name is....Hasukawa. Saotome Hasukawa. And this is my fiancee, Kuonji Ukyou. Waitress: Well...the guy last night was better dressed... Ranma: (looks a bit miffed)... Waitress: Has your brother really been engaged to his fiancee for two years before he finally took her out on a date? Ranma: Yes, sort of. They, ah, they... Ukyou: They quarrel a lot, unlike Hasukawa and I. Ranma can be a real jerk to Akane, sometimes. (smirks a little). Ranma: Hey, I...he is my brother. It isn't always his fault. Waitress: Hmm. So how long have you two been engaged. Ukyou: For years and years. Ranma and Hasukawa's father promised my father that one of them would marry me, but then their father dragged them off before we got old enough to even really know what marriage was. Eventually I came looking for him and decided to marry Hasukawa, because Ranma had already been engaged to Akane, whose father had also been promised that either Ranma or Hasukawa would marry one of his daughters. Waitress: Uh huh. Right. I think I got that. So, can I take your order? (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Cologne is putting up a closed sign on the door. Shampoo, wearing glasses, is standing nearby. Mousse is hovering over her (in the sense of standing behind and looming over her)). Cologne: Well, since the gas went out, we'll be closed, so you can go do whatever you want, Shampoo. Shampoo: (pouts a bit) I don't have anything to do. Ranma is out on a date tonight and I don't know where. And I'm hungry, but we can't cook anything with the gas out. Mousse: I know a restaurant that would be nice. Of course we'd have to dress up a bit. It is formal. Cologne: Great! You're paying. Mousse: I didn't... Shampoo: Anything is better than sitting around waiting for tomorrow. Let's go. (The two women run off to get dressed up, leaving Mousse counting through his money.) Mousse: I hope I have enough money for this, I didn't intend Cologne to come... (We cut to Gosunkugi's room. He is still snoozing. His parents are at the door.) G. Mom: Perhaps we should call a doctor. According to his friends, he has slept since yesterday afternoon. G. Dad: Well, he snuck out of the house with some girl the night before that. Maybe that has something to do with it. G. Mom: He was with a girl? G. Dad: A real one. I didn't say anything so I wouldn't embarrass him, but I think she was carrying a giant spatula. They met some kid with an umbrella and headed off down the road. G. Mom: Maybe he's finally going to stop chasing that Tendo girl. G. Dad: I hope so. She's been engaged to that Martial Artist for two years, and he's still got pictures of her on the walls. Gosunkugi: (talking in sleep) Akane... G. Mom: (turning to go) Doesn't sound like it. (she leaves) G. Dad: (goes over to him) She's engaged son. You've got to find someone else. Someone who can love you back. Someone of your very own. (He gets up, sighs, and leaves.) Gosunkugi: (Akane...love you...but need my own...Akane...don't want to be alone... (His arms wave in the air as he shakes his head and mumbles. We can see there are dozens, maybe hundreds of pictures of Akane on the walls, along with a few Anime posters--Ah! My Goddess, Video Girl Ai, Urusei Yatsura, and Bubblegum Crisis. He has his own TV in one corner with some tapes piled up by it. Suddenly, the TV clicks on by itself, though producing only static on the screen. It reflects in the mirror over the bed, which reflects in the Tv screen, which reflects....) (Cut to Ma Maison. We now see Akane and Ryouga enter. They are seated at a booth two down from Ranma and Ukyou. Neither pair can see each other. The same waitress who served Ranma and Akane last night and Ranma and Ukyou a little earlier approaches them.) Waitress: Hello, can I...(stares at Akane) You look familiar. Didn't I... Akane: I don't think I've ever eaten here before. Ryouga: I thought that... Akane: (hand over Ryouga's mouth) My sister Akane ate here last night and recommended it to me, so I suggested it to Ryouga here. Ryouga: I am Hibiki Ryouga and this.... Akane: I am Tendo Akemi, twin to Tendo Akane and younger sister to Kasumi and Nabiki. Waitress: I see. (a little sarcastic). Are you two engaged also? Ryouga: (looks at Akane for a moment) Well... Akane: (slightly crazed look) Yes! We have been happily engaged for six months now. Waitress: Hmm. We're getting a lot of twins around here lately. Ryouga: You have? (looks around) Waitress: Why, yes. Just two booths away is the twin brother Saotome Hasukawa, of your sister, Akane's fiancee, Saotome Ranma. And Tendo Akane and Saotome Ranma were in here just last night. Saotome Ranma dressed better than his brother Hasukawa did, although his fiancee, Kuonji Ukyou is quite beautiful. And she's wearing the same dress you are. Akane: They are here? That Ukyou...she...she...she's nothing but a tramp. Waitress: Hmm. Is that so. Shall I tell them you are here? Akane: I...no, not yet. (over at Ranma and Ukyou's booth. They have appetizers while they wait for their food to arrive) Ranma: Do you hear Akane's voice? Ukyou: Nothing but yours, Ranma. Ranma: (looks a little nervous) Uh, right. Ukyou: Why would Akane be here anyway? Ranma: I must have imagined it. (Waitress goes by. Stops briefly, stares at Ranma, goes on.) Ukyou: Hmm, she must not be buying our story. Ranma: This was why I wasn't so keen on going here so soon. Ukyou: This will be fun, especially if we work up a complicated enough fake history to feed everyone who asks. Ranma: Well, its' too late to back out now... Ukyou: (enigmatic smile) Exactly. (Scene cut to a bus stop. Mousse, Shampoo, and Cologne are getting out of a bus. They are dressed up in grand chineese style. Even Cologne looks good.) Shampoo: So where are we going? Mousse: (looks nervously at his wallet) It's called Ma Maison. (We cut back to the Tendo house. Nabiki is doing homework in the living room. Or is it?) Nabiki: Hmm. 20,000 yen profit from those pictures. 20,000 yen cut from the apology money from the Kuno estate...15,000 yen outlay on getting Mousse that outfit at short notice. Hmm... How much can I blackmail Ryouga for? I may have to sell some more pictures of Ranma...No, that won't work. There is no more female Ranma to photograph. Hmm, maybe I can buy some from Gosunkugi and sell them at a higher value to Kuno. Time to make a phone call. (She heads over to the Dojo. Inside, Soun is sparring with one of his students, a sixteen year old staff wielder named Ichigara Youta. Soun has the best of the situation.) Nabiki: Hey, dad! Soun: (turns to address her, continues to fend off Ichigara without looking) Yes, daughter? Nabiki: Did you get that film developed for me? (Ichigara tries to sweep Soun's legs out from under him. Soun leaps onto the staff and rides round and round Ichigara who is now spinning in a circle) Soun: Yes. It's on the kitchen table. Nabiki: Thanks, dad. (She heads out as Ichigara collapses) (Nabiki heads to the kitchen. Kasumi has almost finished cooking. The prepared so-far food is on the table. Nabiki reaches for a brownie) Nabiki: Is it okay if I grab a brownie? Kasumi: Are you in love with anyone? Nabiki:I...hey, that doesn't answer my question. Kasumi: Go ahead if you feel brave enough. Nabiki: (steps away from the brownies) I...uh..well Kasumi: (Turns around) Oh, Hi Nabiki. Were you asking me something? (we see now she was watching a little tv set perched up in the kitchen window. Two people are now smooching in the little picture.) Nabiki: (grabs her film off the table) Nothing. (leaves) Kasumi: I hope I made enough brownies. (counts them, then takes several and puts them on a side plate and wraps it.) I'd better save some for when Ranma and Akane and their dates come back. (Scene cuts to Gosunkugi's bedroom. Lightning is dancing around the room as he continues to mumble in his sleep and the staticky Tv screen crackles...) Gosunkugi: Akane...I love you...but I can't beat Ranma...What can I do? Come to me, Akane, come... (Gosunkugi's vast Akane picture collection flies off the walls and begins to circle around in front of the TV. One by one, they fly into the screen, which fills with their images. Faster and faster. Akane in the park, Akane in the gym, Akane punching Ranma, Akane carried by Ranma, Akane smiling, Akane sad, Akane in class, Akane in a restaurant, Akane with and without family. The lightning gets worse.) Gosunkugi: I need you...so lonely...no more Ranma...just us.... (The Tv now has a single image of Akane smiling, wearing her school uniform and waving at someone. The room flashes and the lighting takes that form. Then stops. The room is pitch black. We see a figure move closer to the bed in the darkness.) Voice: Don't be lonely. I have heard your call. You don't have to be alone. (We cut now to Ma Maison. We see Akane and Ryouga eating. Akane suddenly slumps forward and almost smacks her face into her food.) Ryouga: Are you okay? Akane: Ohh, I feel weak. Ryouga: (Takes her hand) Don't worry. I...I'm here. (Two booths away...) Ranma: Is that Shampoo and Mousse over there? Ukyou: No way. They would (looks, surprised.) That is them! on a date? Ranma: When we leave, we can't let them see us or Shampoo will glom onto me. Ukyou: I can handle Shampoo. Ranma: So can I, but I...this is a date, not an excuse for duels. (We cut to the wall clock. It says 7:10. It fades forward to 7:40. Akane and Ryouga; Ranma and Ukyou are finishing up their meals. Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse are mostly done. Mousse is glumly looking at the bill. Cologne ate a lot.) Mousse: (Thought) I can't pay for this---(sees Ranma.) Maybe he can help me. (He gets up.) Be back in just a moment. Cologne: You'd better not skip out and leave us the bill! Mousse: (thought) Now that's an idea. If I could get Shampoo out and leave Cologne.... (Mousse approaches Ranma and Ukyou's booth) Mousse: Uh, hi. Ranma: (Looks ready for a fight) What?! Mousse: Cologne ate more than I could afford. I was hoping for a loan... Ukyou: You brought Cologne along? Mousse: I had no choice. Please an evening with her is enough of a nightmare. I don't want to have to borrow money from her too.... (We see Ryouga poke his head out and see Mousse) Ryouga: (Thought) Who is Mousse talking to...Ranma! They must be up to something. (spoken) Time to go. (He hustles Akane across the restaurant. They pass Ranma. Akane looks back at him with a mixture of anger and sadness and a little exhaustion. Ranma stares at her and first clenches his fists then looks a little down.) (Ukyou hands Mousse some money.) Ukyou: Good luck. Mousse: Thanks. (Starts to leave) Ranma: That little rat... Ukyou: He only wanted a loan... Ranma: Not him, Ryouga! Ukyou: Huh? Ranma: Over there! (points to Ryouga and Akane at the cash register) Ukyou: Hmm. Looks like a date. Ranma: I know that! (getting angry) He's making moves on my...my... Ukyou: So everyone has to stay away from a woman who you don't get along with, who has never said I love you to you and whom you have never expressed any love to? What about a woman who does love you? (She looks a bit miffed herself) What about... Ranma: (looks confused) I...Ucchan...She...You... Ukyou: How do you feel about us Ranma? Do you love her, me, Shampoo, anyone? I love you. Ryouga loves Akane. Mousse loves Shampoo. We have the makings of a happy ending for all here, but we... Ranma: I'm not sure what love feels like. Ukyou: I wanted revenge on you for making a fool of me once. I gave up revenge when I learned that you never meant to hurt me. I grew to love you for what you are. It was hard to understand at first what I felt. I had never had any boyfriends, or wanted them before you. I care about you; I care for you. I long for you when you are gone. I dream of holding you. I want to spend my life with you. I wish I could hate Akane the way Shampoo does, but I can't. We are rivals, but I can't bring myself to fight her for you as hard as I should. How do you feel about us? Ranma: I...I never asked to be engaged to two women. I'm sorry that... Ukyou: Don't dodge the question. Who do you love? How do you feel about me, Akane, Shampoo...? Ranma: That's what I'm trying to figure out...I've never really been able to be alone with any of you for very long. That's why I asked you out. Everytime in the past we've been alone for more than five minutes, a fight broke out or something disastrous happened. I wanted to be with just you so I could learn how you make me feel. Ukyou: Then alone we shall be. (perks up a bit). Hmm. Waitress! Waitress: (Comes over) Yes. Ukyou: (hands her some money) please deliver three bottles of white wine to that table(points over to Mousse, Shampoo, and Cologne). Its' their anniversary, and they got stuck taking their grandmother along, and I thought... Waitress: (smirks) This must be young couple day or something. No problem. Ukyou: We'll just give them a few minutes to get properly soused... (Scene cuts to a park where Akane and Ryouga are walking. She looks a little ill, but is basically okay.) Ryouga: The movie starts at nine, so I thought we could walk for a while. Akane: Two movies in a row. I must be blessed. Ryouga: What did you see last night? Akane: UY5: Boy meets Girl. (giggles) Kuno tried to come in and attack Ranma but the ushers threw him out. (looks at him) Are you up to fighting off Kuno? Ryouga: What? Akane: Well, he does attack anyone who shows any interest in me. Well, Ranma's safe tonight...(looks glum) Ryouga: Forget Ranma. He's off with Ukyou tonight. Akane: Ukyou...(growls, picks up a rock, throws it at a tree where it imbeds in the bark) Ranma...you two-timing hentai sex-changing jerk! How can you do this!!! Ahrgh! (People are staring. Akane shrinks in on herself a bit) Akane: Take me away from myself, Ryouga. Ryouga: Eh? (Akane faints. Ryouga catches her and bounds away. The other people in the park stare for a moment and go on with their lives). (We now see Ukyou and Ranma outside the restaurant.) Ranma: Would you rather go see a movie or... Ukyou: Let's go dancing! Ranma: But I don't know how to... Ukyou: You can learn! (Grabs Ranma's hand and strides off dragging him along). (We briefly see Mousse, Shampoo, and Cologne busily intoxicating themselves on the wine Ukyou sent them. Then we cut to a roof top. It is near a disco. We see Ukyou and Ranma in line to get in down below. On the roof Ryouga sits holding Akane. She suddenly wakes up.) Akane: Hey! How'd I get up here? Ryouga: You fainted. Akane: (Looks down) A Disco! Let's go dancing! Ryouga: Are you sure you... Akane: I feel great! Lets' Go! Ryouga: But I don't know how to... Akane: You can learn. (grabs him, jumps off roof.) (A short time later, we see Ryouga and Akane trying to jitterbug. Ryouga looks a little clumsy, but he is learning quick. Ranma, on the other hand, is a little ways away with Ukyou, having a harder time trying to "get down".) Ranma: I feel overdressed. Ukyou: You look great. (A bit more dancing later--the music turns slow. Ranma looks real nervous.) Ukyou: Do you waltz? Ranma: Huh? Ukyou: You'll learn. (She grabs him and manuevers him into a proper waltz position. He learns this pretty quick. She is leading, however.) Ranma: Now this isn't so hard. Ukyou: (wicked grin) How about this? (Suddenly they are spinning around in a moving circle, but he keeps his feet.) Ukyou: I love to dance... Ranma: You're good at it. (Elsewhere, Akane and Ryouga are waltzing also. They are hemmed in by dozens of slow-dancing couples, most of whom are going for maximal physical contact. Ryouga looks like he is in heaven. Akane looks a little wistful.) Ryouga: (Thinking) This is great. Akane: (Thinking) Surrounded by cuddly couples...just what I need. (Then she sees Ukyou and Ranma. Ukyou is smiling as she "spins" Ranma. Ranma looks a little giddy, but happy. Akane's face darkens. Her hand on the back of Ryouga's neck starts to exert pressure on it. Tiny lightning crackles between her eyes.) Ryouga: Hey, that... Akane: Ranma...(Her voice sounds like death warmed over) Ryouga: Eh, what? Here? He can't dance... Akane: Neither could you, but he can sure dance for U..K...Y...O...! Ryouga: (turns and looks) (thought) They make a good couple. And it leaves Akane for me. How best to... Akane: Ranma NO BAKA! (The whole disco freezes for a moment. Even dancers freeze in mid-motion. Then everything moves again. Ranma is staring bleakly at Akane, who is glaring angrily at him. Then she faints. Ranma starts to run to her; Ryouga catches her. ) Ryouga: see what you've done, Saotome! Ranma: But I... (Ryouga starts to run, carrying Akane. Ranma chases him, but Ryouga easily outruns him and leaps off to a rooftop disappearing into the shadows. Ukyou follows Ranma, who gives up and stares off into the night in front of the disco.) Ranma: Akane...(sounds sad) Ukyou: He'll get her to Dr. Tofu if she's sick. Ranma: I guess so. (Ukyou herds him back inside). (We see Ranma and Ukyou dance the night away. Ranma gradually lightens up. Ukyou looks ecstatic. Then we see Ryouga take Akane home and sit by her bed as she wakes up, looks confused, then faints again a little while later.) (Dr. Tofu enters) Dr. Tofu: Hmm... Ryouga: What is it? Dr. Tofu: Looks like she is asleep. (Ryouga falls down.) Dr. Tofu: Hmmm....(Stands over her, takes her pulse, puts a finger under her nose, pulls on one ear, pokes her shoulder, then lays his palm across her forehead) (Ryouga gets back up) Dr. Tofu: Looks like... Ryouga: What? What? Dr. Tofu: she's fatigued. What have she been doing tonight? Ryouga: We went to a restaurant, where she fainted first. Then we went to a Disco. She fainted there too. And in the park. Dr. Tofu: Any factors in common? Ryouga: (Thinks hard. Quick flash backs--Akane almost faints in her food, Akane angry at Ranma in the park, Akane angry at Ranma in the Disco ) Well, the first time we were at the Restaurant she and Ranma ate at last night. When we were in the park I saw them in last night, she got mad at him even though he wasn't there. The third time we ran into Ranma and Ukyou at the disco and she got mad. Dr. Tofu: Did she faint any last night? Ryouga: I have no idea. Dr. Tofu: Can you get some Tea from the Kitchen for us? I need to wake her up and have a private conference with her. Ryouga: Uh, okay. (He leaves) (Dr. Tofu leans over to Akane and runs a finger across her forehead. He concentrates for a moment, then slumps a little. Her eyes pop open. She sits up.) Akane: Uh, hi Dr. Tofu. Dr. Tofu: Hello, Akane. Are you feeling better? Akane: Uh, yes. Dr. Tofu: (yawns a bit) Good. Something is draining some of your life force. That is why you have been fainting. Akane: What? Dr. Tofu: Some of your Chi, your vital energy is being pulled away from you for some purpose. I will have to consult with some of my associates to try to determine what and why. Akane: Who could do this? Dr. Tofu: Possibly someone is using your own life force to power a spell to be put on you. Luckily, it is only taking a little life force, so you should be fine as long as you avoid stress. Too much stress and you faint until your body replenishes its energy flow. Don't get too emotional or exert yourself too much. You should eat more food. That will enable you to function normally because you will have more energy. Getting mad at Ranma is probably what made you faint that time. Akane: Ohh....that Ranma! (starting to get mad again) Dr. Tofu: You'll just knock yourself out. I'll tell him not to be mean to you until we can... Akane: He's got dates with Shampoo the next two nights! (starts to chew on her pillow) Dr. Tofu: (yawns again) Now calm down, as soon as Ryouga...hmm. He should have been here by now. (Brief cut to Ryouga wandering around the house with a tea tray. Finally, Nabiki guides him to the right room.) (Ryouga enters.) Ryouga: Tea for everyone. (Scene cuts to Ukyou and Ranma standing in front of Ukyou's Restaurant) Ukyou: (holding one of Ranma's hands) I had a lovely evening, Ranchan. Ranma: Me too, Ucchan. Now I have to go home and get my head bitten off by Akane. I hope...she's okay. Ukyou: Ryouga will take good care of her. Ranma: She's still going to be mad at me. And I've got two dates with Shampoo to "look forward to" Ukyou: Two dates? (Their conversation is interrupted by loud voices singing in Chinese. Ranma and Ukyou turn and see Mousse, Cologne, and Shampoo staggering down the street. Cologne is sitting on Mousse's shoulders while Shampoo and Mousse walk arm in arm down the street. They are bawling away in some Chinese drinking song, each with a bottle of wine in one hand.) Ranma: I don't believe it. Ukyou: Hmm. I think Mousse will have an interesting night. Ranma: If he remembers any of it. At least he got to hug Shampoo once without being hit. Shampoo: (looking over at Ranma and Ukyou) Look! It's Akane and Ryouga! Holding hands too! Mousse: (peers over) That's not Ryouga, that's Chairman Mao! and his wife! Cologne: They're dead, silly. Can't you tell that is the Emperor and his new bride? Mousse: I thought they were dead too. Cologne: (Whaps Mousse) The Japaneese Emperor! Not the Chinese Emperor! (They stagger on down the road.) Ranma: What was that stuff you sent them? Ukyou: The most potent stuff on the menu. Ranma: Well, I'd better go home. Ukyou: You could stay here if you don't want to face Akane... Ranma: I wish I could, but then I'd really get it. Ukyou: Well, then...(Suddenly pulls Ranma in close to her. He looks shocked. She kisses him before he can say anything, then ducks inside her store. He is left standing and staring.) Ranma: Ucchan.... (A little later, Ranma returns home. Kasumi is baking in the kitchen.) Kasumi: (points to a covered plate) I saved some brownies for you and Akane. She might not kill you if you take them to her. Ranma: Uh...thanks. Kasumi: How did your date go? Ranma: I..she...it... Kasumi: Confusing? Ranma: Yes. All I know for sure.... Kasumi: (a little wistful) At least none of them fall to pieces in your presence. Ranma: (taking the brownies and going) Yes. Even the crazy ones... Kasumi: (watches him go for a moment with a sad look) Good luck, my sister...Better luck than I, I hope. (Cut to Akane's room. She is in her pajamas. P-Chan is perched on her desk. The Tea tray is still here. Someone is knocking on the door.) Akane: Who is it? Voice(muffled by door): Brownies. Akane: (scratches head, opens door) What are...(sees Ranma with a plate with five brownies.) Ranma: Kasumi saved them for us. Luckily Pop didn't find them. Akane: (steps back, lets Ranma in, grabs a brownie. So does Ranma, who sits on the desk next to P-chan.) Hmm...good. Ranma: Yeah. Why were you...why did...uhm. Akane: You went out, so I thought I'd go out too...(glares at Ranma) Ranma: I meant why did you faint...I was Akane: Too much stress. Dr. Tofu said. I...well... Ranma: You? Akane: Some spell is messing with my life force so I faint sometimes. He's trying to figure out what's wrong.(takes another brownie) Ranma: Maybe Gosunkugi could break it(takes another brownie. He'd do anything for you.... Akane: He has been awfully helpful lately. I'll ask him tommorrow. (Munch, munch munch. They stare at each other and chew. Then they both go for the last brownie at the same time. They end up grabbing each other's hand instead. They stare at their hands, then at each other. Fade to closing credits.) (part 10) (We see Gosunkugi's bedroom. He is lying in bed asleep. There are pictures scattered all over the room. His TV is playing static, and the clock on his VCR is flashing "12:00". The sun is shining in. There is someone with short red hair in bed with him, lying on top of him. We can't see enough to determine sex or identity of this red head. His table clock switches from 6:59 to 7:00 am. The alarm goes off.) Alarm: BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (One arm on autopilot reaches out and shuts off the alarm. Gosunkugi slowly stirs. Then his eyes open and he stares at the person lying on him.) Gosunkugi: Hey?! (He taps the person. Yup. this person is real. Then she stirs and pushes herself up on her hands to look him in the face. She is wearing pajamas similar to his. She looks like Akane with red hair.) Akane-Red: Hello, Darling! Gosunkugi: (Faints) Akane-Red: No time for sleep! You've got to get dressed for school and so do I! (She heft him overhead, opens the door, and drags him down the hallway to the bathroom. She leans him up against the wall and turns the shower on. He starts to stir.) Gosunkugi: I...who are you? Akane-Red: The woman you have longed for all this time. I have come to be with you. Gosunkugi: But...your hair...you (Akane-red looks in the mirror. She starts.) Akane-Red: That's not the right hair color. Gosunkugi: And how did you...I mean Akane never...I don't mind but... Akane-Red: I came when you called me Sorceror. Gosunkugi: Sorceror? Akane-Red: (smiles) Actually, I think I like this color. Do you? Gosunkugi: It's very nice, but... Akane-Red: Good. Now get undressed. Gosunkugi: What? Akane-Red: You don't normally shower dressed, do you? Gosunkugi: Oh. Akane-Red: I'll go get your uniform while you shower. (She exits) Gosunkugi: This is going to be a strange day. (opening credit sequence: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part ten: Nodoka returns! Too many Akanes! (We see Ranma staggering around his bedroom groggily getting dressed. He goes over to the mirror.) Ranma: Well, let's see what she thinks of...Hey! (He sees himself as the male Ranma in the mirror) My reflection is back to normal. Could mean that the cure is final, but it was also like that when... (runs out of the room.) (Ranma runs past a groggy Akane, slips around Nabiki who is going down the stairs, past Soun who is cleaning his shogi pieces, and into the kitchen where Kasumi is almost done cooking breakfast.) Kasumi: Did Akane like... Ranma: Need water! (Grabs a bucket, runs it in the sink for a while, then pours it on himself. Nothing happens. He checks himself. Repeats actions. He jumps for joy!) Yes! The cure is still good! Kasumi: (Already mopping up the water) Were you worried? Ranma: Just had to be sure it hadn't worn off yet. Kasumi: Did Akane like the... (Nabiki, followed by Akane come in.) Akane: I'm so...hungry. Kasumi: Here's breakfast. (It is quite an ample meal. Akane eats like a horse. Everyone stares as she stuffs herself.) Nabiki: Has anyone seen Ryouga? (Ryouga enters.) Ryouga: right here. Nabiki: (Wicked smile) I have business to talk with you after school, Ryouga. Ryouga: (looks confused, turns to Akane) Feeling better? Akane: (Finishes eating) Now that I have some food in me, yes. Ranma: (glares at Ryouga) And where did you wander off to last night when Akane was still feeling weak? Ryouga: I...uh..well Kasumi: Would you like something to eat, Ryouga? Ryouga: Uh, thanks. (Ryouga joins the munch fest, as does Genma and Soun. Ryouga, Nabiki, Ranma, and Akane start to move out of the house towards school in a pack.) Nabiki: So why don't you go to school, Ryouga? Ryouga: I get lost too much to make it there reliably. Nabiki: Too bad we all can't be so free to wander around the way animals are--cats, dogs, PIGS, ducks, butterflies... (Ryouga looks a little uncomfortable. Akane looks a lot more bouncy now.) (Soon, they come to an intersection and see Ukyou approaching in her school uniform.) Ukyou: Hi, Ranchan! Hi, everybody! Ranma: Hi, Ucchan. (As usual, he is walking along the fence) Ukyou: (leaps up on the fence behind him, starts walking on it) So why do you do this anyway? (Akane looks, glares, leaps up on the fence between Ranma and Ukyou) Akane: He likes looking down on people. Ranma: Hey, It's just for balancing practice. Nabiki: You're all crazy. (They come to the school and split up. Ryouga waits forlornly at the gate, then starts sneaking over to the school pool. Nabiki follows him, getting out a camera. Akane, Ukyou, and Ranma head for their first class.) (Time has obviously passed. Akane, Ukyou, and Ranma have headed outside for lunch. They are under a tree. Ranma is in the middle, while Akane and Ukyou alternate between glaring at each other over his head and eating.) Ukyou: I made you an okonomiyaki, Ranchan. (Hands him one in a box.) Ranma: Thanks, Ucchan. (starts eating it) Akane: (hands Ranma a thermos) I made you some tea, Ranma. Ranma: Thanks, Akane. (starts drinking it) Akane: You...(stares at Ranma. So is Ukyou. Ranma is suffering no ill reaction from the tea. He didn't even balk) (thought) He didn't even try to refuse it!? (They all turn to their food. Then Ukyou sees Gosunkugi with Akane-red under another tree.) Ukyou: Hello, Gosunkugi. (She starts--following is thought.) Gosunkugi-with a girl? (Gosunkugi looks around, as does Akane-Red.) Gosunkugi: Hello, Ukyou. Ukyou: Who's your friend? Gosunkugi: (sees Akane) She's uh, well.. Akane-Red: (puts an arm around Gosunkugi) He's so shy. Isn't that sweet? I'm his girlfriend, Tendo Akane. (looks at him.) Don't be afraid to admit it. Have I met you? (Gosunkugi looks somewhat pleased and somewhat baffled. Akane looks up, as does Ranma. They both stare at Akane-Red. She herself suddenly becomes aware of their presence). Akane: She looks like... Ranma: a red haired version of you. Akane: Did she say... Ukyou: So where has Gosunkugi been hiding you all this time? Akane-Red: I was... Gosunkugi: She goes to a different school, although she may be transferring here soon. They were closed today for repairs. Ranma: I need to talk to you in private for a moment, Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: Well...(Ranma leaps up, grabs him, drags him off) Ranma: If you've had a girlfriend all this time, why did you keep following Akane around and photographing her? And trying to make her fall in love with you and why does she look like... Gosunkugi: (looks over at Akane-Red, who is chatting with Akane and Ukyou.) You've got two women. Ranma: (taken aback) I didn't arrange things that way... Gosunkugi: Well...I lied. Ranma: So who is she? Gosunkugi: She thinks she is the real Akane. Ranma: What? Gosunkugi: She just appeared in my bedroom this morning having made a mess of the place. She acts like she has been living with me for months. MY PARENTS acted that way too. She also thinks Akane is her twin sister and YOU were originally engaged to her before you fell for Akane and let her become engaged to me. (Ranma stares mindlessly at Gosunkugi. All the circuits in his brain have obviously blown.) (We hear Akane yell: ) Akane: I am Tendo Akane! And I am not your twin sister! (Camera shifts to her as she faints.) Akane-Red: Are you all right, Akemi? Ukyou: (muttered to self) Did I wake up on the right planet? (Ranma and Gosunkugi come over) Akane-Red: Ranma, your fiancee tried to deny her own identity, then she passed out. Ranma: (Holding Akane) Hey, wake up. (feeds her some tea from the tea she fed him) Akane: AAAHHHH!!!!(has the "I have tasted something awful " look. Akane: What was that awful drink? Ranma: (smirks a little) Just the tea you made for me. Akane: I... Akane-Red: You okay, sis? Akane: I am not... (Suddenly we hear running feet) Kuno: Pig-tailed girl! Where are you? (He sounds desperate) Ukyou: (looks at Ranma, smiles) I think he's going to be looking for a very long time. (We see Akane-red. She looks at the running Kuno as he approaches and turns away from him. She has an obvious look of concentration on her face.) Kuno: (Runs up to Ranma) What have you done with the pony-tail girl? I have not seen her for days! Ranma: So why are you asking me? Kuno: I had a dream! Someone was taking her away from me. An evil magician was responsible! Ranma: Since when was I a magician? Kuno: Since the day I saw you make her vanish and take her place, I have known you have some power over her! (lifts his bokken) Tell me! Or Die! (Akane-red is on her knees. She has a look of extreme determination on her face, eyes closed, fist clenched. She keeps muttering) Akane-red: No, no, no... Gosunkugi: (to Akane-red) What's wrong? Akane-red: Kuno... Gosunkugi: (looks truly confused) I don't understand Akane-red: Get him away from me...so much need...don't want... Gosunkugi: ...(He looks really confused, goes over to Kuno who is now fighting with Ranma) Kuno-Sempai! Kuno: Not now, I am in battle! You may appeal to me when Saotome is finished! (The fight is an even match. Ranma is getting in more blows, but he is starting to tire already.) Ranma: Why am I feeling so weak? I should have trashed Kuno by now. (Gosunkugi stares for a moment, then points over to the far side of the building.) Gosunkugi: Kuno-sempai, I just saw the pony-tail girl go around the corner over there. Kuno: Pony-tail girl, I am coming! (He bounds off that way out of sight) Ranma: You saw... Gosunkugi: Not really, but it got him to leave. (We hear a thump. Gosunkugi and Ranma turn and see Akane-red has collapsed onto Akane, and both have apparently fainted again. Ukyou is standing over them.) Akane! (He runs over to the two of them, as does Ranma. As they reach the two women, Akane-red stirs.) Akane-red: Gosunkugi... Akane: Ranma... (The respective males are at the women's sides.) Ranma: What happened to them? Ukyou: The red head looked like she was in pain through the whole fight, and kept muttering about "need", then Akane fainted and so did she. Gosunkugi: Maybe that tea will wake them up... Ranma: It worked last time. (Tea for two) Both Akanes: That tastes awful! (They snap awake.) I'm hungry! (They dig into the remaining food. Their actions are almost exactly alike. Only Ranma and Gosunkugi's meals are untouched.) Ukyou: My Lunch! Both Akanes: (upon completion) Much better! (They stare at each other) Quit saying what I say! You said it again! (They glare, then Akane-red sits back and giggles) Akane-red: We've always been able to do that. Akane: Why do you persist in this delusion? Akane-red: Don't call me deluded! (Stands up angry) Akane: I only have two sisters, and neither of them is you! Akane-red: Don't say things like that! (Suddenly we hear a voice calling from the distance...) Voice: Ranma, Ranma-kun! Where are you? (Ranma locks up like a statue) Ranma: Mom...(He looks around hurredly, then instinctively dives behind a tree) Got to find some...wait, I don't have to hide anymore... Saotome Nadoka (Ranma's Mom) Ranma....Ranko, have you seen Ranma? (Ranma peeks out from his hiding place) Ranma: Ranko? But I'm... (Ranma sees to his utter shock--his mother standing in front of--Tendo Ranko, AKA Ranma-chan. She is dressed the same as Akane-red was--in a nice dress. Akane and Ukyou are standing nearby looking shocked, as is Gosunkugi. Akane-red seems to have disappeared.) Nodoka: They finally got you to wear a dress. You look marvelous. Ranko: Thanks. You lucked out. Ranma is here this time. He's right...(looks around) He was right here. Gosunkugi: He's hiding behind that rock over there. (Nodoka turns and runs over, arms wide. Ranma stands up looking nervous and confused.) Ranma: Mom... Nodoka: My son..It's been so long...(She embraces him, and he her. They stand there. Then she draws him back over to the group.) I haven't seen him for over ten years. Ukyou: I'm glad that you and Ranchan have finally been reunited. Nodoka: Introduce me to everyone, Ranma. Ranma: Well, this is Kuonji Ukyou. I've known her for years. She's the best okonomiyaki cook in the city. Ukyou: And we're engaged. Nodoka: (stares at Ranma) I thought you were engaged to... Ranma: Well pop, he, well... Akane: Well, you've met me before, but I'm this idiot's fiancee, Tendo AKANE. Nodoka: Yes, I remember you dear. You look pretty today. Akane: (smiles) Why...thank you. Nodoka: I think you should come to the dojo tonight, Ukyou, so we can straighten out this engagement business. (to Ranma) How many women has your father engaged you to? Ranma: Not counting self-appointed ones, two. Nodoka: Self-appointed? Ranma: Don't ask. Ranko: You know me too. Nodoka: Yes, Ranko dear. You look wonderful. Not quite so much the tomboy anymore?(Ranma is staring confusedly at Ranko.) Ranko: I dressed up for the man I love. This is him(gloms onto Gosunkugi who also looks confused now.) (Everyone stares at them.) Gosunkugi: Uh, hi, I'm Gosunkugi Hikaru. Nodoka: Well, I'm off to the Tendo dojo, but I'm sure I'll see you all at dinner tonight. Ranma: We will? Nodoka: Yes. I talked with Mr. Tendo and I'll be moving in today. Ranma: Anybody told pop about this? Nodoka: (evil grin) I plan to surprise him. Ranma: Yes, you could say that. Nodoka: I'll see everyone later. (kisses Ranma on the forehead.) Your father is an idiot, but he made a good man out of you. (She leaves. Everyone stares at Ranko.) Gosunkugi: Who are you? (looks a little scared. Ranko turns to him. She is Akane-Red once more) Akane-Red: Couldn't resist...twice in a row...want to be yours...(faints into his arms) Gosunkugi: (holds her and stares at her now Akane-like face). (We cut to the Nekohanten. The lunch rush has just ended. Mousse is sweeping up, and Shampoo is clearing a table. She stares at the signature on a check that a now leaving customer has left with the bill--Nagasama Ranma.) Shampoo: Ranma (She fades into a daydream...We see Ranma and Shampoo leaving for their date...They eat at a nice restaurant....They see a movie...They walk holding hands under the stars...and then..."I love you"...Ranma takes her in his arms then, suddenly turns into Moose. End daydream) (Mousse is in the same embrace position with Shampoo that Ranma and Shampoo were in in the daydream.) Mousse: What are you daydreaming about? Shampoo: (pulls away from him) You don't want to know. Mousse: It was Ranma, wasn't it. Shampoo: Well, yes, I... Mousse: Why do you want someone who doesn't love you? (looks half-mad half-despairing) Shampoo: Why do you? Mousse: (Falls to his knees) I shall win your love if it kills me, Shampoo! Nothing can part us! I will climb any mountain, cross any river, pass any test, do whatever it takes to gain your heart! I swear by the... Cologne: He is an idiot, but at least he never gives up. (Shampoo has a flashback. She is pinned to a wall by feather stuck in her at pressure points and is paralyzed. She is up on a ceiling post, along with Mousse, who has dozens of the feathers in him. A man who resembles a bird is also up there, glaring at them. (flashback from Ranma Movie 2)) Bird-man: Now you cannot move. Mousse: No! (struggles slowly forward) I'll save you, Shampoo. (reaches bird man with great difficulty and punches him unconcious, then falls off post) (End Flashback. Mousse is still swearing a great oath. Shampoo looks at him.) Shampoo: It's his best feature...How am I going to keep him from wrecking my date with Ranma tonight... (We cut to the schoolyard. Everyone is streaming out and heading home. P-chan is waiting at the gate. A girl picks him.) Girl: What a cute little pig. Nabiki: (grabs P-Chan) Yes, he is. He's mine. Thanks for finding him. (She runs out with him, her schoolbag, and a tea pot. Once in an alley, she pulls his clothing out of her bag, puts him on them, and pours hot water on him. He turns back to normal and looks embarrassed. He quickly starts dressing.) Nabiki: Well, P-chan. I think it's time for us to negotiate a little deal...unless you want Akane to see the photos I got of you this morning and to hear my eyewitness testimony as to where P-chan goes all the time. Ryouga: (looks very nervous) Ulp! (Cut to the Tendo dojo. Everyone is at the dinner table.(Everyone = Ukyou, Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, Soun, and Genma) Genma: So why wouldn't anyone let me go in the kitchen? Soun: It would ruin the big surprise for you. Kasumi: (comes out) Close your eyes, Genma, It's ready. Genma: oh, goody. (He closes his eyes) (We see what he does---darkness, and hear movement noises) Kasumi: Now open your eyes (He does, and we see dinner on the table and his wife sitting across the table from him, Katana held high.) Nodoka: (stern) I believe you made a promise to me. Genma: (faints Everyone laughs, including Nodoka, who puts the sword away.) Nodoka: Time for us to have a little talk. I'll see you all after dinner. (Grabs a tray with two bowls of food in one hand, drags Genma with the other. The Katana is slung across her back in a scabbard.) Ukyou: Nabiki, was that Ryouga carrying your books after school? Nabiki: Yes. Ranma: Why? Nabiki: He knows his duty to his boss. Ukyou: Boss? Akane: Boss? Ranma: Boss? Nabiki: Hmm. Must be an echo. I have retained his services for the indefinite future. Akane: Why? Nabiki: I need someone who is strong, fights well, and who can't afford to disobey me. Akane: can't afford to disobey you? Nabiki: I know too much. Ranma: You don't mean... Nabiki: Yes. Ranma: Eek. Akane: What are you two talking about? Do you know Ukyou? Ukyou: Who, me. Nope. No. No way. Not I...(looks guilty) Akane: Can anyone tell me what Ranma and Nabiki are talking about. Kasumi: Ryouga will tell you when he is ready. He is an honest and brave young man. Akane: Do you know? Kasumi: I will not accuse without proof. I have seen nothing but coincidental evidence. Akane: (chewing ferociously on a chicken leg) Argh. (Scene cut to the front yard of a house. Gosunkugi and Akane-red are sitting under a tree looking up at the stars. She has an arm around his shoulders and is smiling. He looks pensive.) Gosunkugi: So who are you, really? (Akane-red looks at him and smiles.) Akane-red: Who do you think I am? Gosunkugi: Did I...somehow...conjure you with magic? Akane-red: (a little sad) I am real now. Gosunkugi: But what about what happened with Mrs. Saotome. You became someone else. Akane-red: I...I am vulnerable to need and expectations. You needed me, so I came, and forgot what I was...But Kuno's need was, for the moment, stronger than yours, so I had to try to fight it. It left me too weak to resist Saotome Nodoka's expectations of meeting Ranko, so I became Ranko. When she left, I became what all of you expected again... Gosunkugi: You forgot what you were... Akane-red: You wanted an Akane who loved you, so I came to be. That is all that is important. I can remember now that I am not the original, but I do not care. I am not perfectly her, but we are bonded, although... Gosunkugi: Bonded because I wanted her, and you are her, so you share your life force or something? Akane-red: A little of hers. If she or I pushes ourselves too much, we both may faint. Although I must be getting energy from someone else, too...otherwise I wouldn't have enough to be alive. And my hair is the wrong color... Gosunkugi: Mrs. Saotome mistook you for Ranko, but Ranko is... Akane-red: Ranma! (Meanwhile, back at the Tendo Dojo. Someone is crashing through the wall. It is Shampoo who is dressed in a slinky red satin dress.) Shampoo: Hi, Ranma. I am here for our date. (She is looking at Soun--note she isn't wearing her glasses.) Soun: I am not Ranma--He's over there. (points) Shampoo: Hey, you ate already. Ranma: Uh, I forgot. (Nodoka and Genma enter now. He looks rather sheepish. She is smiling.) Nodoka: Time to talk about this engagement mess my foolish husband has gotten you into, Ranma. Shampoo: No problem. He's marrying me. I'm his real fiancee. Nodoka: (stares at her for a moment, then sternly to Genma) You didn't mention a third one. Genma: This one wasn't my fault. Nabiki: I bet he didn't mention Kodachi either. Nodoka: Genma! Genma: I only take responsibility for Akane and Ranma's engagement. Ukyou: (In his face) What about me? You engaged me to Ranma also--BEFORE Ranma and Akane. Genma: That was just a trick to... Ukyou: You nearly ruined my life! Everyone thought my dad was an idiot and I was jilted at age 5. We trusted you and you betrayed us! Genma: (looks nervous) I didn't mean to... Ukyou: You lied to me and my dad, you ran out on your own wife, you threw your son into a pit of cats to "train" him, you ran and cheated and stole for years, you cheat at Shogi, and you don't regret any of it...You old bastard! If you weren't Ranma's father, I'd...I'd...(starts to cry. Ranma comes over to her) Ranma: Ucchan...I...(She collapses onto Ranma and just bawls. He holds her. Shampoo looks jealous, Nabiki looks a little disturbed, Kasumi looks sad, Akane looks confused, Soun is shocked, and Nodoka is getting very angry.) Nodoka: If you weren't my husband, I'd kill you for her. Genma: (mumbling) We needed food...I couldn't really let Ranma marry her...Soun and I had already decided...Ranma said he liked okonomiyaki better than her...I didn't think... Ranma: You never think ahead, pop. I was five years old. I had no idea what was going on. You should have known better. Genma: Haven't we gone through this before... Soun: I'm very sorry for you Ukyo, but Ranma was already spoken for when Genma engaged him to you. Shampoo: He was not. I met Ranma before he was engaged to Akane. Soun: But Genma and I had already decided he would marry one of my daughters. Akane: You never told us until he showed up. Nabiki: Not a word. Ranma: I didn't know either. Shampoo: Besides, he doesn't want to marry Akane. Soun: What!! (We see giant sized Soun towering over Ranma) Ranma: I never said that... Shampoo: They fight all the time, they insult each other, they never do anything nice for each other. I, on the other hand, love him. I bring him food, I've fought for him. I want to marry him. Kasumi: What about Mousse? Shampoo: He lost to me, so he can't marry me. And I don't want to marry him. Kasumi: But he loves you. Shampoo: Don't...Don't talk about that. Nabiki: He's fought for you. He never looks at any other woman. Shampoo: Shut up. Nabiki: (a little louder) He proclaims his love for you every day. Kasumi: I don't think she wants to hear... Shampoo: Shut up! (looms over Nabiki. Nabiki stands up) Nabiki: He's been Cologne's practical slave just so he can be near you and you go running off for some guy with two fiancees just because... Shampoo: (Holds a sword over Nabiki's head) Shut up or I'll kill you! Nabiki: You'll commit cold blooded murder just to silence me? Shampoo: I'll... Nabiki: Ranma is watching you. (Shampoo turns. Everyone is staring at her with wide eyes. Kasumi is now holding up Ukyou as she cries. As Shampoo turns, Ranma is leaping at Shampoo. He grabs the sword and springs away from her.) Ranma: What are you doing, threatening Nabiki like that? (Shampoo collapses crying to the ground.) Shampoo: Don't hate me. I just...didn't want her to remind me...(shouted) Mousse! Why can't you go away! (Suddenly Mousse is there, he looks sad.) Mousse: Do you hate me that much? I don't... Shampoo: I just don't love you. You make me feel so...guilty. (more tears) (Mousse is at her side, holding her.) Mousse: Don't cry, my darling. (even more tears) Nodoka: So she wants to marry Ranma, but this fellow wants to marry her. Akane: They're from the same village. Ranma beat her in a fight, so she thinks she has to marry him by her village law. But since Mousse can't beat her, he can't marry her, but he loves her anyway. Kasumi: It's very tragic. Nodoka: Well, since I wasn't consulted (glare at Genma) on any of these engagements, I am going to make the final decision on which one is valid. Ranma: I wasn't consulted either! Nodoka: So, my son, who do YOU want to marry? Ranma: I...uhh...(Everyone else is staring at him.) Ulp. (roll credits on part 10) How's that for a cliffhanger? In Part 11, we see him try to not answer that question, see everyone try to influence the answer, and see the return of Gosunkugi's magical mentor, and lots more too in Part 11: Who does Ranma love? (Part 11) Last Time on Ranma 1/2-Putting Your Heart in the Right Place: Gosunkugi "made a new friend" Alarm: BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (One arm on autopilot reaches out and shuts off the alarm. Gosunkugi slowly stirs. Then his eyes open and he stares at the person lying on him.) Gosunkugi: Hey?! (He taps the person. Yup. this person is real. Then she stirs and pushes herself up on her hands to look him in the face. She is wearing pajamas similar to his. She looks like Akane with red hair.) Akane-Red: Hello, Darling! Gosunkugi: (Faints) ************ Nodoka finally was reunited with her son Gosunkugi: He's hiding behind that rock over there. (Nodoka turns and runs over, arms wide. Ranma stands up looking nervous and confused.) Ranma: Mom... Nodoka: My son..It's been so long...(She embraces him, and he her. They stand there. Then she draws him back over to the group.) I haven't seen him for over ten years. ************ Nabiki got a new slave (We cut to the schoolyard. Everyone is streaming out and heading home. P-chan is waiting at the gate. A girl picks him.) Girl: What a cute little pig. Nabiki: (grabs P-Chan) Yes, he is. He's mine. Thanks for finding him. (She runs out with him, her schoolbag, and a tea pot. Once in an alley, she pulls his clothing out of her bag, puts him on them, and pours hot water on him. He turns back to normal and looks embarrassed. He quickly starts dressing.) Nabiki: Well, P-chan. I think it's time for us to negotiate a little deal...unless you want Akane to see the photos I got of you this morning and to hear my eyewitness testimony as to where P-chan goes all the time. Ryouga: (looks very nervous) Ulp! ********* And Ranma faced the question he has been dodging all this time Nodoka: Well, since I wasn't consulted (glare at Genma) on any of these engagements, I am going to make the final decision on which one is valid. Ranma: I wasn't consulted either! Nodoka: So, my son, who do YOU want to marry? Ranma: I...uhh...(Everyone else is staring at him.) Ulp. (Roll opening credits: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Eleven: A Day for Decision! What is the sound of a heart breaking? ) (Everyone is staring at Ranma. Nabiki has one eyebrow raised. Kasumi looks concerned. Shampoo is smiling at Ranma. Soun and Genma look stern. Nodoka looks calm. Ukyou is smiling at Ranma. Akane looks incredibly nervous. Mousse stands next to Shampoo, hovering over her from behind. He is glaring at Ranma. Ranma looks like he is about to collapse into a twitching mess.) Ranma: I...uh..well... Nabiki: Come on. Spit it out. Ranma: (looks at Akane, then Ukyou, then Shampoo) I feel like I'm on trial. Ukyou: You're not on trial, Ran-chan. Your mother is just trying to let you decide. Ranma: I can't think with everyone staring at me. I... (Suddenly Happosai runs into the room with a bucket of water.) Happosai: My beautiful Ranma-chan, it has been so long....(Throws water at Ranma. Ranma just freezes up as it hits him. Everyone but Nodoka and Happosai hides their eyes.) (Nothing happens except Ranma's hair turns red. He is still a he. He kicks Happosai out through the wall.) Ranma: Hentai... Happosai: (as he zooms off to the horizon) I don't understand. Nothing happpened... Nodoka: What was all that...Your hair changed color! Ranma: I guess Happosai's trick didn't work the way he expected. Genma: Yes. His magic water trick sometimes only changes hair colors. Nodoka: What is it supposed to change? Genma: His...well... Soun: Terrible. It is just terrible. It is a story too twisted to tell. You know how much of a pervert Happosai is. Nodoka: Yes. Next time...(swings the katana about.) Rrr... Ranma: Whew. Nabiki: So what's your decision, Ranma? (smirks a bit) Ranma: (glares at her) I...I'd like to have some private talks with people before I make my decision. I...Mom, I need you to keep everybody down here. I don't need people spying on me like they always do. (Genma acts innocent, as does Nabiki, Soun, and Shampoo) I'll go to my room upstairs. One person at a time. Mousse, you first. (Everyone stares at Mousse.) Mousse: Me? But I'm not... Ranma: I didn't say only my possible wives. I need to talk to you first. (They go upstairs. Shampoo smirks.) Shampoo: Hah. He's telling Mousse he's out of luck. He'll pick me for sure. Ukyou: Or maybe he's telling Mousse this is his lucky day, and I'm the one. Akane: (thought) Ranma... (Cut to Ranma's room. He and Mousse are standing by the mirror on the wall.) Ranma: Look in the mirror. Tell me what you see. Mousse: You as a woman. Why did you not change when Happosai splashed you? Ranma: Gosunkugi tried to cure me, but I think his cure may be slowly wearing off. Mousse: I can still see fine, and he did that three days ago. Ranma: So that's why you don't need your glasses. Mousse: Yes. I need to see if he can help Shampoo. Now she is having sight problems. Ranma: Hmm. I...Would you...Would you still want to marry Shampoo if she turned into a man instead of a cat when she got wet? Mousse: Yes. She could turn into a purple dragon and I would still love her. I do not love her for her body, for I often could not see it as more than a blur. I do not love her for her actions, for she is often cruel to me and I loved her before either of us had ever done much to be judged by. I love her for herself. She is my star by which I guide my course. She is the road I follow. She is my one and only love. If I was a tick, I would cling to her. If I was a fish, I would live alone in a tank for her. If... Ranma: You really love her even though she is mean to you and never has a kind word for you? Mousse: I am a fool. I wish I could leave her, but I cannot. I would wither away and lose my soul. That would be better than losing Shampoo. If you choose her, I must fight you, for else I would lose my very self. Ranma: Do you know where Ryouga is? Mousse: I have no idea. Ranma: Ask Nabiki when you get downstairs. And please send up Ukyou. Mousse: Have you decided? Ranma: Not yet. (We see clock at 7:02. Then at 7:05. Ukyou enters. She is smiling.) Ukyou: Hello, Ranchan. Ranma: Look in the mirror and tell me what you see. Ukyou: I see the man I love. (Ranma winces.) What's wrong, Ranma? Ranma: I...you don't care about the curse? Ukyou: I thought Gosunkugi took care of that. Ranma: It may be wearing off. The cure that is. Ukyou: I don't care about your curse. I care about you. If I had to, I'd jump in the Man-drown-spring to be with you. Ranma: That's... Ukyou: Male or female, you are the bravest, most loyal, considerate person I know. (Ranma blushes) And you're cute when you're embarrassed. (Ranma is about as red as his still red hair now.) I know you've dodged settling this because you don't want to hurt anyone, but none of us wants to wait forever. I'd rather be hurt than forever hanging on. Ranma: I don't like to make women cry...even ... Ukyou: I trust in you to make the right choice and I hope that it is me. (She suddenly grabs him and kisses him on the lips.) Whatever comes of it, at least I had the courage to show my feelings. (Ranma winces again) Don't be afraid, Ranma. Listen to your heart. Ranma: Ucchan, I... Ukyou: Who's next? (looks a little sad) Ranma: ulp. Shampoo. Ukyou: You asked for it. (out she goes) (A brief time passes. Shampoo enters.) Shampoo: (leaps into Ranma's arms) I'm so happy. Ranma: Why? Shampoo: Now we shall finally be together, my husband. Ranma: We're not married yet. What do you see in the mirror? Shampoo: You (She isn't wearing her glasses. Actually she sees a blur) holding me. Ranma: Me as... Shampoo: Is this some kind of test? Ranma: Never mind. (puts her down, she clings to him) Why are you so mean to Moose? Shampoo: I can't marry him. He won't leave. So I try to get rid of him. Ranma: You put him in a cooking pot once. Shampoo: It was a joke. Ranma: Ha ha. Shampoo: I just don't love him. Ranma: Why do you love me? Shampoo: At first I just wanted to have a husband who fought well, and it was village law. Plus you were cute. But I've come to know that you are brave and funny and never give up. You like my cooking and you are kind to your enemies. I want to be the bride of a man like that. I will take good care of you. I know your father and Mousse will be angry, but... Ranma: He said...He'll try to kill anyone who tries to marry you. Shampoo: I'd kill him first. Ranma: Thank you Shampoo for coming up here. (sighs) Can you send up Kasumi? Shampoo: So who are you going to marry? Ranma: I don't know yet. Shampoo: (as she leaves) I love you, Ranma. Ranma: (after she leaves) This is going to lead to a bloodbath, whatever I decide. (Time passes. Kasumi enters with some brownies and lemonade.) Kasumi: I thought you might like something to eat. Ranma: (Smiles) Thank you, Kasumi. (Ranma gets a brownie. Kasumi puts down the platter and gets a brownie. Pours them each some lemonade.) Ranma: Can you look in the mirror and... Kasumi: You're worried that the cure is wearing off, aren't you. Ranma: Yes. Kasumi: And you don't want whoever you marry to have to marry a guy who turns into a girl. Ranma: Yes. Kasumi: And you are worried that whoever you pick, other people will be hurt. Ranma: Yes. Kasumi: And you don't want to lose any of your friends. Ranma: Yes. Is there anything you don't know? Kasumi: What to tell your mother about Ranko and "her panda". She's been asking about them and everyone is desperately waffling. Ranma: Tell her Ranko is at her boyfriend's house with the panda. Kasumi: Her boyfriend's house? Ranma: Ask Akane or Ukyou. They can explain. I...Do you know...well, uh...Do you...Are you... Kasumi: When he is ready, I will be ready. Ranma: You are awfully patient. Kasumi: Someone has to be in this household. Ranma: Why did you foist Akane on me when all of you had to decide which of you would be my fiancee? Kasumi: (blushes) I...I didn't want to marry someone younger than me. Ranma: (a little sternly) Was that all? Kasumi: Well, your curse...it was hard to get used to at first...But you've adjusted to it so well Ranma: What? Kasumi: You use it just like any other ability. It has its drawbacks and limits, but it has let you accomplish things you never could have otherwise. You don't use it as an excuse to cover up your failures. Your father is the same way. I guess Saotomes never give up.(gets another brownie and more lemonade) Ranma: Does...I mean...Ukyou doesn't care and Shampoo doesn't care but do you think...I mean she calls me a pervert and ... Kasumi: I can't speak for Akane. You'll have to ask her yourself. Ranma: Sometimes I think she likes me, but then we always end up fighting, and Ryouga... Kasumi: Ryouga makes his own destiny. You must decide without worrying too much for futures that may never come. You will never be able to have a full friendship with him as long as this hangs over you. The same for you and Mousse. You should all be friends, not enemies and rivals. Ranma: Thanks for the advice. Can you..uh..send...uh Kasumi: I'll send Akane right up. Ranma: Yes, that would be good. Kasumi: (As she leaves) I'll leave the brownies and lemonade. You might want to have a glass waiting for Akane. Ranma: (forced calm voice) Yes, that would be good. (pours another glass, then realizes Kasumi brought up exactly three glasses and took hers with her.) How'd she know... (Brief time passes. Clock reads 7:30. A knock on the door. Ranma is sitting on his futon, back against a side wall, staring into the mirror. A second futon is by the other wall, under the mirror. The food is inbetween) Ranma: Come in. Akane: (Walks in) Its me. Ranma: Would you like a brownie? Kasumi made them for us. Akane: Kasumi is so thoughtful. (Gets a brownie and some lemonade) Ranma: (gets up, moves opposite the mirror) Look in the mirror and tell me what you see. Akane: I see...your reflection. Is this some kind of joke? Ranma: No joke. I think...I fear that the cure maybe wearing off. It was my hair this time. What next time? Akane: I'm sorry. Ranma: Its not your fault. I may never be cured. Akane: ... Ranma: I...do you really think I'm a pervert? Akane: I... Ranma: I wish I had told you about the curse from the start, but after you told me you would have hated to have been beaten by a boy... Akane: Ranma... Ranma: I've gotten in so deep...three fiancees...dozens of rivals for all of them...A psycho gymnast who is after me too. No matter who I choose, someone, a lot of people get hurt. Akane: It's not easy being your fiancee, either. Ranma: I wish I could blame it all on pop, but even he couldn't screw up my life this much all on his own.(gets another brownie) Akane: Ranma, do you...do you want to marry any of us? Ranma: Do you really think I'm a pervert? Akane: (pause) (very quietly) No. I just say it because...I'm not good at insults, but you... Ranma: always lose it when you say that. I... Akane: Do you really think I'm uncute,and unfeminine, and can't cook, and... Ranma: Everyone knows you can't cook, but Akane: (looks a little steamed) I try so hard to... Ranma: if I wanted a cook, I'd have married Ukyou or Shampoo months ago. We're all bad at something. I'm mean to you sometimes, but... Akane: Sometimes? Ranma: A lot. Okay? A lot. But you are cute, especially when you smile, which isn't often enough. (Akane looks shocked) Ranma: Why do we fight all the time? Akane: You make fun of me, or you..you go running off with other women, or... Ranma: Why do you care? Akane: What? Ranma: You told me you hate boys. Akane: I do! Ranma: So why do you care what I do? If I marry someone else, you won't have to put up with me. Akane: But I...but I want to put up with you. I...have to...I'm your fiancee. Ranma: You didn't have a choice. Akane: But...I... Ranma: What would you do if I choose someone else? Akane: I don't know. I don't...want to know. Ranma: How do you feel about Ryouga? Akane: I...he's okay, but you two fight too much. Ranma: Just okay? Akane: What are you getting at? Ranma: Is there anyone else you'd rather marry? Akane: I...what...no. There isn't (very quietly) Ranma: I..hold on. (He looks out the window, up at the roof, in the closet, out in the hall, then returns to Akane.) We've never really kissed...when we were in our right minds anyway...but once...Oh, somebody is going to come bursting in here... Akane: I don't think anyone is getting past your mother. I almost didn't. Ranma: I...can you close your eyes? Akane: Why? Ranma: please. Akane: Uh, okay. (thought) What is he going to do, sneak out on me? (Ranma kneels in front of where she is sitting and leans his head forward towards hers.) Ranma: (thought) No one come in...No one come in...No one come in...(His face is two inches from Akane's, one inch, half an inch...Contact. Their lips touch. Akane's eyes pop open. She pulls back half an inch.) Akane: Was that...did we...did you... Ranma: Yes. Tendo Akane, I...I..l...l...I love you. Do you love me? Akane: Is this for real? Ranma: As real as it gets. Akane: Yes. I...do...love you (looks at door, window, closet) This must be a dream. They haven't burst in yet. Ranma: If this be dreaming, let us make the most of it. (They kiss again and fall over embracing.) (scene cut to downstairs. The clock reads 8:15. Nodoka, sword in hand is guarding the staircase base. Genma and Soun are playing Shogi. Nabiki is doing homework. Ukyou and Shampoo are glaring at each other while Mousse watches the Shogi game. Kasumi is watching TV.) Shampoo: What is taking them so long? Nabiki: Maybe they've killed each other. Mousse: No one could kill that quietly. Soun: No screaming is a good sign. Shampoo: Stangulation is very quiet. (One set of footsteps coming down the stairs.) Kasumi: Is that you Akane? Akane: (not in sight yet. giggle) sort of. Genma: Who is next? Akane: (more giggling. Still unseen) All done. (Ranma and Akane come into sight. He is carrying her piggyback. She rests her head on his shoulder and tugs his pigtail idly with one hand.) Ranma: The decision is made! (Ukyou looks nervous, as does Moose. Shampoo looks confident despite what she sees, Kasumi is smiling, Nabiki is smirking, Soun and Genma look ready to jump out of their skin, and Nodoka finally smiles once more.) Nodoka: I see. Ranma: There will be no marriage until we are older, but when the time comes... (Everyone leans forward) Akane: It will be me and him. (She leans her head around, turns his head and kisses him) (Mousse smiles and relaxes, Kasumi jumps up and applauds, Soun and Genma grin, Nodoka smiles, Ukyou collapses, and Shampoo looks angry.) Shampoo: You can't marry her! You have to marry...(Soun and Genma grab her, run to the porch door, and punt her into the next episode)(as she zooms off) Ranma, Darling, I can't let her enslave you.... (Mousse comes up to Ranma.) Mousse: Congratulations. Thank you. Ranma: I...thank you for being honest with me. You'd better go find Shampoo. She left her glasses here. Mousse: (gets the glasses) Bye. (runs off) Genma: I knew you'd make the right choice. Soun: (to Akane) I knew you'd make the right choice. A&R: Thanks. Ukyou: Ranchan, I... Ranma: (sad) Ucchan, don't...don't cry. Ukyou: I...we can still be friends, can't we. Ranma: You'll always be my best friend, Ucchan. Ukyou: Thanks, Ranma. (Big hug for them both. Akane looks sadly at Ukyou while this is going on.) Akane: Ukyou, I hope we can be friends too. Ukyou: You'll both always be welcome at my restaurant. (Kasumi comes up and hugs Akane, who is still on Ranma's back, which means his head gets stuck under Kasumi's chin.) Kasumi: Congratulations. I know you will be very happy together. Ranma: After everyone finishes killing each other. Kasumi: The future will take care of itself. Think of the joy you have now. Good luck. Nabiki: When you're ready to make the wedding arrangements, let me know. I'll handle them. This may be the first wedding ever to turn a profit. Akane: a profit? Nabiki: I'll even give you a discount, because you're family. Ranma: How kind of you. (Nabiki looks around, quickly hugs Akane) Nabiki: Good luck with the pervert, sis. Ranma: I heard that. Akane: But he's my pervert. (kisses the top of his head) Ranma: And she's my uncute (kisses hand), unfeminine(kisses other hand), tomboy fiancee (pulls her down and kisses her face). Akane: I'm going to have to hit you for that. (smiling) Ranma: Come and get me( He runs off into the dojo, grappling her hands with his.) Nodoka: What a happy ending. Nabiki: This is only the beginning. Wait until Ryouga and Kuno find out and Shampoo gets back from wherever she landed. Nodoka: At least they're happy now. Nabiki: That's a first. (Cut to an overhead shot of a neighborhood at night. The gaijin witch from the first couple of episodes is circling over the neighborhood on a broom. A cat is perched on it, too.) Witch: I can't read this map in the dark. (She is holding a map) Cat: Don't look at me. I don't know any Japaneese. Witch: I should have stayed overnight at Sakura's again. Cat: So that lech could show up and hit on you again? Witch: It beats being lost. Cat: If you say so. Hmm, maybe that house with the magical creature under a tree with someone. Witch: (looks down) Eek. Someone has unleashed one of those on this city? Poor thing. Time to investigate, Aloysius. Aloysius(the cat) You're driving, Mimi, not me. Mimi (the witch): I guess my erstwhile apprentice will have to wait. Down we go! (Roll end credits) (part 12 starts here) (Cut to an overhead shot of a neighborhood at night. The gaijin witch from the first couple of episodes is circling over the neighborhood on a broom. A cat is perched on it, too. There is a couple under a tree in the yard they are flying down towards. Also, something is falling through the air towards the witch and her cat.) Mimi(the witch): Hmm. The creature has a female form. Aloysius(cat): Incoming! Mimi: Eh, what? (sees the falling person arcing down right as the person crashes into her. It is Shampoo. Witch, Cat,and Shampoo tumble towards an adjacent yard, right into the sprinkler system) AHHHH!!!!! (They tumble to the ground. The sprinkler quickly douses them and Shampoo becomes a cat. The couple under the tree run over to the yard. It is Gosunkugi and Akane-red. Oddly enough, her hair has turned black, making her look exactly like Akane, instead of mostly. ) Akane-red: What was that? Gosunkugi: It might be... Aloysius: (looking at Shampoo-cat) Oh, you're cute. Shampoo-cat: Meow? Mimi: (Staggers to her feet) Now where did that girl go? And why was she falling...Ah, Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: Sensei! Mimi: And you are (glares at Akane-red) Akane-red: Tendo Akane. And you are? Mimi: I am Mimi Masters. Gosunkugi, are you responsible for her? Gosunkugi: Uh, what? For her...? Mimi: You don't know what she is? Gosunkugi: A magical girl? Mimi: I think you are going to have to tell me everything you have done since I left. How much magic have you been using? Gosunkugi: Ulp! (Roll opening Theme Song: "The Rose" Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. (We see Ukyou and Shampoo chasing Ranma) Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your heart to bleed. (We see Shampoo hit Mousse as he tries to hug her and Ryouga watch Akane watch the running Ranma) Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need. (We see Gosunkugi watching Akane from the rooftop while Kuno and Kodachi leap down at Ranma) I say love, it is a flower and you, it's only seed. (Akane jumps and clobbers Kuno and Kodachi) It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance (Nabiki amusedly looks on) It's the dream afraid of waking who never takes a chance (Mousse runs to Shampoo again while Ryouga hangs back staring sadly at Akane.) It's the one that won't be taken who never learns to give (Nodoka walks up; Genma hides) and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live! (Ranma turns and faces his pursuers) When the Night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, (Mousse, Ryouga, and Gosunkugi sit dejectedly nearby) and it seems that love is only for the lucky and the strong (They watch the women flocking around Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo cling to him. Akane looks mad.) just remember, in the winter deep beneath the winter snows (Akane rears back apparently to hit Ranma...He has that "No!" look.) lies the seed , that with the sun's love in the spring, becomes the rose. (She grabs and kisses him while punching Ukyou and Shampoo into next week. He is shocked, then reciprocates.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part twelve: The morning after. Wars of the Heart! (We see Mousse wandering the streets of the city at night.) Mousse: Shampoo---Where are you? (he cries) (We see the bedroom of Gosunkugi. Akane-red is sitting on the bed. Her hair is red once more. She is holding shampoo-cat, who keeps trying unsuccessfully to escape. Aloysius is sitting on the desk watching Shampoo-cat. Mimi is sitting in a chair by the TV while Gosunkugi sits on a chair at the desk.) Mimi: Something is odd about that cat. Gosunkugi: I...Hey, that's Shampoo! Throw her in the bathtub, will you Akane. Akane-red: Cats don't like... Gosunkugi: Think Jusenkyo. Akane-red: Oh! Off we go. (To the bathroom they go.) Mimi: She's a tulpa. Gosunkugi: Who, Shampoo? Is that some chinese tribe? Mimi: No! She is a magical creature formed by desire! She becomes what those around her expect or want or need her to be. Especially need. Where did she come from? Gosunkugi: I woke up with her in my bed (We hear water run) Mimi: You must have conjured her in your desire for someone. Gosunkugi: Akane... Mimi: But I noticed her hair changed to match mine. Gosunkugi: Actually, it is usually like that. It only turned black for an hour or so. Neither of us knows why. Mimi: Hm. She may be linked to some other spell or person then, also. Interesting. (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Much time has passed.The lights are all out. We see Nabiki's room. Ryouga is curled up on the floor, while Nabiki is in bed. He gets up and creeps to the window. She sits up.) Nabiki: I'm a light sleeper. Don't even try to sneak out. Ryouga: But I... Nabiki: You don't go anywhere without someone to guide you. Otherwise you'll get lost and I'll have wasted this investment. Ryouga: But... Nabiki: Or shall I tell Akane about her pet pig's water problems? Ryouga: (settles down on the floor again) I'm doomed. Nabiki: You got it. (Scene cuts again. Much more time gone by. The sun is up. Ranma wakes up, turns to shake Genma, he is not there.Ranma's hair is back to black) Ranma: Pop? (looks around suspiciously) Where are you hiding from me? (checks closet) Oh yeah. You're with Mom in the guest room. I've got the room to myself now! Cool. No more pandas squashing me in the night. Kasumi: (bangs on door from outside, calls through door) Rise and shine, breakfast is in twenty minutes! Okonomiyaki and eggs for all! Ranma: Yum. (is getting dressed) Okonomiyaki. Kasumi makes those almost as well as Ukyou---(sudden shock hits face) Ukyou, I hope I didn't hurt you too much when I (shock two--runs to mirror) Did I really tell Akane that I loved her last night? (looks at female reflection of self.) And she--said that... (Cut to Akane's room. Akane is getting dressed. She is looking at a picture of the whole gang framed on her desk. A second copy is up on her bulletin board.) Akane:...I love you, Ranma. I can't believe I said that...but its' true. Maybe now we won't have to fight anymore...I wish I knew where P-chan is. I'm starting to worry. (She heads out into the hall. Nabiki and Ryouga are emerging from Nabiki's room behind her. She does not see them. She does see Ranma at the top of the stairs. She sprints and leaps onto his back.) Ranma: Hey! Aaahhh!!!(He starts to fall and runs down the stairs to avoid disaster) Akane: Yee Hah! Ryouga: I...did I...Was that real? (He is carrying Nabiki's books and other things) Nabiki: Yup. (Soon all are at breakfast. Everyone has okonomiyaki and eggs cooked by the incomparable Kasumi. Genma and Soun look like the cats that ate the canary. Nodoka sits by Genma and smiles too. Nabiki has Ryouga sitting by her, getting her whatever she wants. Kasumi sits between Ryouga and Akane, who is sitting next to Ranma. They keep stealing each other's food. Akane is eating quite a lot.) Kasumi: You've really been eating a lot lately. Akane: Dr. Tofu's orders. Oh, I need to go talk to Gosunkugi today. Nabiki: You'll see him at school. Genma: (to Soun) Long labor has born fruit at last. Soun: Let us rejoice! Our families shall be joined. Nodoka: Where is Ranko? (Everyone stares at each other for a moment.) Ranma: She got up early and went over to Gosunkugi's to eat breakfast with his family. Nodoka: We should invite them to dinner tonight. I want to properly meet her boyfriend to see how he captured that wild heart. Ranma: We'll tell him at school. Nabiki: If you live through school. Ranma: What? Nabiki: I'll tell you later. (glances at Ryouga surreptitiously) Ranma: oh boy. (soon everyone is finished. They head for school. Ranma and Akane are up on the fence. Nabiki is on the ground with Ryouga carrying her books.) Ranma: (looks down)So how long is Ryouga going to be your slave? Ryouga: I am not her slave, just... Ranma: Her goon? Ryouga: If I wasn't carrying all this stuff.... Ranma: You'd be lost? Akane: Don't taunt him, Ranma. So what hold do you have on him Nabiki? Nabiki: If I told, I would lose it. Akane: That's not very nice. Nabiki: Neither is what he did. Akane: Ryouga? Ryouga: Please...don't ask. I...(sighs) (They are at the gate.) Nabiki: Ryouga--stay here and don't move until school is over. I'll come for you then. I don't want to have to look for you. Ryouga: What about Lunch? Nabiki: (hands him a box) Kasumi made this for you. It's got lunch and some nice herb tea. (Ranma and Akane tense for a moment.) Nabiki: What is it with you guys and herb tea lately? Ranma: Don't ask. (Time passes. It is lunch time. Akane and Ranma are eating lunch peaceably together under a tree. A crowd is beginning to gather.) (One dark haired thin well dressed boy walks up.) DHTWD boy: So when are you two going to hit each other today? Ranma: What? DHTWD boy: I'm running today's betting pool and if you guys can hold off for two more minutes, I'll win all the money. Akane: We're not going to hit each other. DHTWD boy: But if you don't hit each other at all, I have to give it all back. Ranma: Do we win it if we pummel you into the ground instead? (backing off) DHTWD boy: Uh... Akane: Better yet, let's throw him in the pool. Ranma: Good idea. (They grab him and start running through the crowd throwing the DHTWD boy back and forth like a basketball) Someone: 50 yen says Ranma gets to make the throw! Someone else: 75 says Akane takes the shot. Someone else altogether: You're on! (Finally, Akane makes the throw. Splash! Daisuke, Yuka, and Sayuri(guy, girl, girl--classmates of Ranma and Akane) come over to them.) Daisuke: The rumors are true. Ranma: Rumors? Yuka: That you professed your love in front of your family and friends. Sayuri: That's so romantic. (looks dreamy eyed) Ranma: Uh, well...you could say that. Akane: Ranma! (quick glare) Well, yes. (They hold hands) Daisuke: Good luck. I've already bet 1000 yen that you'll beat Kunou when he tries to kill you for this. Ranma: Uh, thanks for the vote of confidence...Kunou knows? Yuka: Nabiki was selling photos this morning and everyone overheard her tell Kunou about it when he was buying photos of the pony-tail girl this morning. Sayuri: I saw the pony-tail girl with Gosunkugi yesterday. Yuka: No?! Sayuri: Yes. Daisuke: This just isn't Kunou's week. I wonder what the odds on Gosunkugi dying at Kunou's hands are? (From far off, the sound of running feet) Kunou: Saotome! I...have...had...enough...of...you!( imagine Shatner in Star Trek III at the cliff) (Kunou runs into sight. He looks like he hasn't slept in ages and looks very, very angry.) Kunou: Ranma--prepare for destruction! (He runs straight at Ranma) (Ranma sidesteps and sticks a leg out. Kunou trips and falls into the pool. Splash! Ranma leaps away from the splash.) Ranma: You shouldn't swim this soon after a meal you know. Akane: You might get cramps. (They turn to leave. Kunou bobs to the surface and runs on the water. Then he leaps into the air.) Kunou: Die! Saotome! Die! (Ranma leaps to one side, Kunou crashes into the ground.) Fight me, you coward! You shall not take away my Akane! Akane: I am not your toy! You don't own me! Kunou: Soon I shall drive this foul growth from your presence, lovely Akane. Now stand aside. Akane: No! (She kicks the bokken into space) Ranma: Let me handle him! He's too dangerous... Akane: I'm sick (kicks Kunou) and tired (punches him in the gut) of men treating me as something (pulls his face down onto her knee) to be fought over like a piece of land! I am not a prize!(Hefts Kunou) I can fight my own battles! (throws Kunou into space) Ranma: I think you really hurt him. Akane: He treats me like I should feel honored to be one of his women! Like if he beats you up, he can have me! It makes me mad! Ranma: Fine! See if I try to stand up for you again. Akane: Ranma... Ranma: What! Akane: Don't be angry. Ranma: I can't let women fight my battles for me... Akane: (Comes up behind him) because you're a man... Ranma: yes. Akane: Why? Ranma: It just...Men don't...(turns around) I don't want to see you get hurt, Akane. Akane: I wouldn't be a martial artist if I wasn't willing to risk being hurt. Ranma: (still sulking a little) Dad wouldn't approve. Akane: (quietly) I'm not engaged to your father; I'm engaged to you. Ranma: (looks up at her) yeah... Akane: Thank you for standing up for me, but I can beat up Kunou myself when I have to. Ranma: You certainly did. Akane: See, we didn't have to fight. Ranma: yeah. That's a first. (The dripping wet head of the betting pool is next to them.) Betting pool head: just one punch? Both: No! (They toss him into space) Bph: (as he flies) You've still got five minutes....Don't let me doooowwwwnnnn! (time passes. Ryouga, Ukyou, and Nabiki are at the gate of the School.) Ukyou: Come on,Ryouga. I've rented you for the evening. I need help moving some stuff at my restaurant. Ryouga: I am not transferrable property! I am not a number! I am a free man! (looks like Patrick McGoohan for a moment) Nabiki: She's paying good money. Do what ever she says. She'll return you when she's finished. Ryouga: (going with Ukyou) I don't need a shepherd either! Ukyou: Hey, it'll get you away from Akane and Ranma for a while. We can drown our sorrows together admidst the wreckage of our hopes. I was rooting for you, you know. Ryouga: You know that I... Ukyou: love Akane, yes. I think everyone but her knows. Ryouga: and about... Ukyou: Yup. And Nabiki knows too, I bet. Ryouga: Yes. I may never be free. Ukyou: Well, Akane and Ranma are together now and... Ryouga: What? Ukyou: You didn't know...Oh, I guess you weren't there. Ryouga: What? What? What? Ukyou: They pledged their love last night. In front of everyone. Ryouga: NO!!!!!! Ukyou: Screaming won't help. Ryouga: NO!!!!!!(Ki blasts a wall) Ukyou: Hey, I have to walk through this neighborhood everyday. Ryouga: Saotome! I shall have vengeance! (collapses crying) My life is ashes. Ukyou: (holds him, kneeling by him)me too. (They both cry together) (Cut to a split screen phone call. Ranma is on one end of the line, Gosunkugi on the other) Ranma: I didn't see you at school today. Gosunkugi: I was here with my sensei. Ranma: Your sensei? Gosunkugi: She is teaching me magic. Ranma: The red-headed girl? Gosunkugi: She's here too. Ranma: Uh, right. You're invited to dinner at our place. My mom wants to meet Ranko's new boyfriend. Gosunkugi: She doesn't look like that right now. Ranma: You're the magician. You can fix that. Dinner is at 7. Gosunkugi: Can my Sensei come? She wants to talk to you. Ranma: Sure. And Akane wants to talk to you. Dr. Tofu thinks some spell is draining her life force. Maybe you can fix it. Gosunkugi: (starts) Uh...maybe. Thanks. (Both hang up) (Gosunkugi looks over at Akane-red who is playing with Aloysius. He stares for a moment. She looks up, smiles, pulls him close and kisses him. Mimi is deep into some ritual in the corner. ) (We cut to the Nekohanten. A teary eyed, now glasses wearing Shampoo is serving customers while Cologne cooks and Mousse does various menial tasks.) Mousse: Don't be sad, Shampoo. I will never leave you. Shampoo: I want Ranma. How can that Tendo tomboy take him away from me? After all I've done for him. Cologne: The war is not over yet. Until they are married, they can still be pulled apart. Mousse: I won't let you ruin their love. (Cologne tosses the bucket Mousse was scrubbing from on him. Instant Duck) Cologne: (hefts Mousse) No choice for you. Off to your cage you go. Cologne: (heading over to the phone) It is time to call a war council. First, we shall need some pawns. (pages through phonebook). So which Kunou family are they? (Scene cuts to the Tendo household. Kasumi is hard at work in the kitchen. Nabiki is at the kitchen table balancing her accounts with one hand and stirring something for Kasumi with the other. Nodoka is checking something in the oven. Genma enters.) Genma: Is dinner ready yet? Nodoka: If you steal any food, you won't get any. Genma: (putting down a rice cake) I never steal food. Nodoka: and the oranges. (isn't even looking) Genma: (puts three oranges down) Really, I didn't take them. Nodoka: of course not(sarcastic tone) Just a few more minutes dear. Soun: (yelled from out of sight) YOUR MOVE! Genma: (as he leaves) Coming. Kasumi: You didn't say anything about the three cookies he took. Nodoka: You have to let men think they've gotten away with something small when you catch them in something big. That way they don't realize you know more than you say. Kasumi: True. (Scene cuts to Ukyou's restaurant. Ryouga is playing waiter while Ukyou cooks. He looks a little glum.) Ryouga: (delivering arm loads of plates of okonomiyaki to a table with a dark short haired male Japanese teenager, a black-haired female teen, a giggly blonde woman in her early twenties, a dignified old man, a young looking red head caucasian with spiked hair, a green and spiked haired woman in her early twenties who looks related to the red head, a young girl with green hair done up in three pig tails that arc up in the air, and a middle aged man who looks like the father of the male teen) Okay, that's 14 orders of Okonomiyaki. (He rapidly unloads the plates with blinding speed) Old Man: Very good. Are you a trained martial artist? Ryouga: Uh yes. (perks up a bit) Old Man: With the humility to work as a waiter. You could learn from him, son. (to the middle aged man) Middle aged man: Dignity, hmph. Do you have a girlfriend, mr. Waiter? Ryouga: No(hangs his head a bit) Middle aged man: Then what's the use of your martial arts? Male teen: Dad! I'm not learning martial arts to pick up women! (Ryouga looks a little angry) Middle aged man: (looks around the table) Could have fooled me. (The women glare at him) Old Man: Please forgive him. He is a pervert. It is his way. Middle aged man: I am not a pervert! (General squabbling breaks out at the table) Ukyou: (to Ryouga) Everytime they eat here, something like that happens. At least he didn't try to hit on me. (They watch the developing arguement as the male teen tries to keep everyone from killing each other.) Ryouga: How'd he end up with all those crazy people? Ukyou: I think they're all aliens in love with him or something. Kind of ...(chokes up a bit) like Ranma (tries not to cry) (Door flies open. Cologne, Kunou, Kodachi, Sasuke, and Shampoo march in) Cologne: We have come to invite you to the war party. Ukyou: War party? Kunou: We all agree that Ranma must not be joined with Tendo Akane. We know that both of you have fought to keep them apart in the past. Join us! Ryouga: What exactly are you planning to do? Ukyou: You can't be thinking of joining up with them? Ryouga: What have I got to lose? My future is destroyed if Akane and Ranma are together. Ukyou: Make a new future! Ryouga: I must fight one last time... Ukyou: What about Nabiki? Cologne: (Juggling three flasks of water) Heh, heh, heh....I can get Nabiki to do whatever we want. Are you with us or not? Ukyou: I won't help you fight Ranchan! Cologne: Fair enough. (Suddenly she is at Ukyou's side. Pressure point blow. Ukyou collapses) Bring her Ryouga, she may wake up earlier than we can afford. (We cut to the Tendo household. Dinner is being served. Genma, Soun, and Nabiki keep looking confusedly at Akane-red, who once again resembles Ranko(Aka Ranma-chan), who is sitting next to Gosunkugi. Kasumi is next to Ranko and Nodoka is next to Genma. Akane is by Ranma. Mimi is sitting next to Soun. Aloysius(the cat) is over in the corner sulking) Aloysius: A grown man like that afraid of cats. Hmph. Now I have to eat in the corner. Kasumi: (to Mimi) Where did you get a talking cat? Ranma: Brrr. Mimi: Aloysius is my familiar. I am a professional witch, and Gosunkugi has recently become my apprentice. Akane: So Gosunkugi will be a witch? I thought... Mimi: (stares at Akane for a moment) Hmmm. A warlock is the technical term. Ranma: You're not going to get a cat too, are you? (shakes a bit) Gosunkugi: I hadn't thought about it. Nodoka: So how did you meet Gosunkugi, Ranko? Ranko(Akane-red): We go to school together. He helped me get away from Kunou one day. Ranma(side to Akane) She lies better than Nabiki. Akane: (side to Ranma) Who is she? Ranma:(side to Akane)Some kind of magic creature. I wonder if hot water would... Akane: (side to Ranma) Let's not find out. Genma: (to Soun) Did you hire her? Soun: (to Genma) I thought you did. Genma: (to Soun) I just hope Nodoka doesn't ask about the panda. Nodoka: So where is your pet panda? Ranko (Akane-red): We left it at Gosunkugi's. They have more room for it. Nabiki: (thought) Maybe it's Ukyou in disguise? I wonder if she'd be willing to pose for some photos? (We see shadowy figures flit by the window to the outside) (Kasumi gets up) Kasumi: I made some special cookies for this occassion. I'll be back in a moment. (She steps into the kitchen and suddenly has a bouquet of roses in her face. Black roses. One instant sleeping Kasumi.) Kodachi: (into a walkie-talkie) The Mouse is out of commission. Cologne: (voice from walkie-talkie) The Mouse is trickier than you think. Be careful. Kodachi: Hah, she is no threat. (Back in the dining room, conversation continues) Nodoka: So you are from Quagmire? Mimi: Yes. It's a very small town. I'm surprised you have heard of it. Akane: Kasumi has a pen pal there. Genma: What is taking her so long in the kitchen? I'll go check.(gets up) Nodoka: Don't steal too much of the desert before you come back. Mimi: Who is her pen-pal? I might know her. Akane: Itch... (Akane stops talking when the lights go out. Lots of movement noises in the darkness. Then the lights come back on. Akane, Ranko(Akane-red), Nabiki, and Soun are missing. Genma is in the kitchen door with a cookie in his hands.) Genma: Kasumi is missing! Ranma: Not two kidnappings in one week! Mimi: Looks like they took the whole Tendo family. Nodoka: They left a note. (Zoom in on Note. Note: We are agreed that Ranma must not marry Akane. You will not see the Tendos again until Ranma agrees to marry someone else or Akane does. The War Council of Love The note is on very nice stationary.) Ranma: I knew something like this would happen. Mimi: Don't be a fatalist. I'll just cast a spell and track them down. (She is soon lost in making gestures and drawing cabalistic symbols on the note. Gosunkugi watches avidly.) Gosunkugi: (to self) Akane, Ranko, whatever I should call you...I don't know how I feel about you, but I won't let them hurt you. Nodoka: Wow. Real magic. Ranma: I've seen too much of it in my life already. Akane... Genma: We'll find her, Ranma. Ranma: Kunou's got to be behind this. No one else could afford stationary like that. (The paper floats into the air. Ranma, Genma, Nodoka, Gosunkugi, Mimi, and Aloysius start to follow it. Mimi and Aloysius hop on her broom. Genma turns to Nodoka.) Genma: You shouldn't come. This could be dangerous. Nodoka: I can handle it. Genma: These people are trained martial artists. You might get... Nodoka: YOU are NOT leaving me BEHIND again! (looks mad) Genma: You'll get beat up if you come! Ranma: You guys stay here and fight. I'm going to go save my fiancee. (Genma and Nodoka look a little ashamed. They run after everyone.) Genma: Wait for me! (Elsewhere--at the Nekohanten. Ukyou is unconcious on one table. Mousse-duck is in a cage in the corner. Nabiki is tied back to back with Kasumi. Akane is tied up next to them and Soun is gagged and tied up. Ranko(Akane-red) is tied to a pillar. Shampoo is staring at her. Cologne is talking with Kodachi, Ryouga, and Kunou.) Shampoo: (no glasses) Ranma? Ranko(Akane-red): I am not Ranma. Shampoo: Shampoo is confused. Cologne: Why did you bring Ranma? Kunou: That isn't Ranma! That's the Pig-tailed girl. Cologne: You were supposed to grab the witch! Kunou: I prefer the pig-tail girl. Cologne: I am surrounded by idiots. Nabiki: Ryouga! Come over here! (Ryouga comes over. He is holding one of the glass water containers Cologne was juggling earlier) Nabiki: Ryouga, untie me at once or I'll spill the beans. Ryouga: You'd better not. Nabiki: I'll do it. Akane: Do what? Nabiki: Akane, want to know where P-chan is? Akane: yes Nabiki: Ryouga (Ryouga splashes the water on her) is so wonderful. (turns to Ryouga with fawning eyes) You're so handsome and strong. Ryouga: That stuff really does work. Wow. (Sudden realization) I could have used it...argh. Akane: Why are you helping them, Ryouga? I thought you were my friend. Ryouga: (winces as if struck) Akane, I... (The window shatters. Mimi and Aloysius crash through it on the broom. Ranma drops through the roof and Genma and Nodoka charge in through the front door. Mimi: Nodoka, free the captives. Genma, you take the swordsman. Gosunkugi, you take the gymnast. Ranma, you take the umbrella-carrying kid. (Throws a bucket of water on Shampoo.) Aloysius, you take the cat. The ghoul is mine. Cologne: I am NOT A GHOUL! Mimi: Okay, Bakemono. Cologne: or a Bakemono! Gosunkugi: (as Kodachi advances on him, Ribbon in hand) What I wouldn't give for a voodoo doll. I'm no martial artist! Mimi: Well, put a spell on her! (Throws a magic bolt at Colone who easily dodges and then Cologne pokes Mimi with her staff, sending her tumbling.) (Aloysius is chasing Shampoo. They run into the kitchen. Nodoka unties Kasumi, who also heads for the kitchen.) Kasumi: Thank you. (Genma faces Kunou) Kunou: We meet again. Genma: Foul Kidnapper! (leaps at him with a flying kick. Kunou sidesteps and hits him in the back as he goes by) Kunou: Accursed father of the accursed Ranma! (Ranma and Ryouga are fighting. Ryouga is hampered by Nabiki clinging to his leg and is fending Ranma off with his umbrella.) Nabiki: You fight so well. (google eyes) Ryouga: I could fight better without you clinging to my leg. (Nabiki leaps to where she is perched on his backpack and leaning over his head.) Nabiki: Is this better, lover-boy? Ryouga: No! (Ranma starts laughing. Soon he is just standing, laughing, and watching as Ryouga wanders around trying unsuccessfully to peel Nabiki off him.) (Elsewhere, Gosunkugi has been wrapped up in a ribbon like a mummy and is twitching on the floor. Mimi is chasing Cologne around the room trying to zap her while Cologne keeps trying to strike Mimi with her staff. Shampoo chases Aloysius out of the kitchen, back to normal, but now wearing only a towel. She runs over to her clothes, gets them, runs back to the kitchen.) (Nodoka is about to untie Akane when a pair of gymnastic pins strike her in the head. She collapses by Akane) Akane: Kodachi! Kodachi: Ha! You'll never be free. Especially when I put this on you. (Hefts a second bottle) Akane: What is it? Kodachi: Water that turns its victim into a man. forever. Akane: (stares in fear) Ranko(Akane-red): Untie me and I'll... Kodachi: Why would I want to do that? There's enough for both of you, rivals for my man's heart. Akane: Ranma isn't your man. Kodachi: He won't be yours very soon. (starts to unscrew the lid) (We see Kunou and Genma fighting. Kunou is careful to stay out of arms' reach. He isn't doing much damage, but Genma can't take him down either.) Kunou: It will be a shame beating up an old man like you. Genma: Who's an old man? (sees Nodoka on the ground) Nodoka! Kunou: (nails Genma while he is distracted) Old fool. (Genma falls) (We hear a kettle boiling. We see a now smoking Cologne stick-fighting with Mimi who is trying to defend herself with her broom.) Mimi: She's too fast. I can't get any more spells off. Cologne: Stupid witch. I guess we'll get to see if water really does melt witches. (Aloysius bites her on the leg). Oww! (Knocks Aloysius out the window with her stick. Mimi rams her in the head with her broom) Nice blow. But not good enough. (Kunou charges Ranma and engages him. Meanwhile Shampoo, now dressed comes out of the kitchen , followed by Kasumi with some glasses, a tray, and a teapot. Kasumi heads over to Ukyou. Shampoo charges Mimi who is now severely outclassed.) Akane: How can you think of tea at a time like this? (Kodachi is having trouble unscrewing the lid) Kodachi: Stupid child-proof caps! (Kasumi pours some tea, pours it down Ukyou's throat. We see Mimi get clobbered across the room in the background. Ukyou sits up, grabs the teapot) Kasumi: Careful, that's still hot. (Ukyou pours the rest of the tea on Mousse-duck in the cage.) That's good tea you're... (Mousse bursts out of the cage, quickly grabs his nearby clothing and dresses) Kasumi: So that's why that duck was so smart. Ukyou: You didn't know. Kasumi: Not this time. (Kodachi still can't get the lid off. Ranma is still fighting with Kunou.) Akane: Will someone untie me? Ukyou: Mousse, take Cologne. I'll take Shampoo. Mousse: Maybe I should... Ukyou: I have no compunctions about clobbering her, but first! (Mousse and Ukyou jump Kodachi while Kasumi unties Akane. Ryouga, still grappling with Nabiki staggers by.) Nabiki: So when is the wedding, Darling? Ryouga: I am not your Darling! Nabiki: Don't play too hard to get. Ryouga: AAARRGJH! (Ranma is in trouble. Kunou, Cologne, and Shampoo are triple teaming him. He is dodging desperately.) Ranma: Look! The pony-tailed girl is escaping! Kunou: (looks around) Where? (Ranma slugs him. But he is taking a lot of hits. Then Akane is on Shampoo. She punches her from behind out the window, then runs after her.) Cologne: Hmm. So Kodachi fumbled the Man-drown water. Ranma: What? Where? (looks around) (Cologne and Kunou batter him unconscious.) Cologne: You are a foolish future son-in-law. Kunou: (runs after Akane) Akane! Cologne: And he is just a fool. (Ukyou and Mousse face off against Cologne.) Cologne: Children. Ukyou: We are not children, ghoul. Cologne: I am not a GHOUL! (While she expostulates, Ukyou sticks her spatula under Cologne and flips her through the ceiling. Meanwhile, the untied Akane-red runs over to Gosunkugi. She reverts to her Akane-red appearance and starts trying to unravel the ribbon. Kasumi is untying Soun. The man transformation water lies next to the clobbered Kodachi who has an okomiyaki with the word BAKA on it on her face. Ryouga tries scraping off Nabiki with the doorway. It isn't working. He sees the third bottle on the table.) Ryouga: Must be antidote. (staggers over to it) Nabiki: Its' labeled in Chinese. (We see Akane and Shampoo duking it out through the window. Both turn and knock Kunou back into the Nekohanten, then return to their fight. Kunou keeps trying to embrace Akane and getting in the way of blows from Shampoo.) (Cologne falls, lands on Mousse. He stuffs an exploding egg in her mouth. She staggers away and spits it out. It lands on the third bottle just as Ryouga grabs it. It bursts and pours onto Ryouga and Nabiki.) Ukyou: One Ghoul Okonomiyaki coming up! (Slams Cologne with her spatula out the window into Kunou. Cologne gets up and throws Kunou at her, sword forward. Mousse rakes the sword with his left arm claws(another weapon) and his name into the blade. Ukyou knocks Kunou back with her spatula, through the roof, then he arcs down onto Cologne's head) Home Run! (Kasumi applies some ice to Nodoka's new head bruise. Nodoka sees Genma.) Nodoka: Who did that to my husband? Kasumi: Kunou, I think. Nodoka (draws the Katana) Kunou, come out and fight! Kasumi: Do you know how to use that? Nodoka: This is a husband-wife thing. Kasumi: Oh, dear. Kunou: (hears his name comes back in the window.) Who is challenging me? Nodoka: Me! Kunou: I don't fight women! Nodoka: Coward! Kunou: Well, then! Have at ye! (Charges forward, trips over his sister, falls down. Then Mousse charges over.) This is embarrasing. (Mousse and Nodoka whale on Kunou.) (Cologne charges Ukyou.) Ukyou: Old Bag! (Cologne suddenly stops short and tosses her staff. Ukyou gets KO'ed. The staff then whirs back to Cologne) Cologne: And now for the duck. (Akane-red has Gosunkugi half undone. He can speak now.) Gosunkugi: Thank you. Akane-red: You were so brave to come to save me when you can't fight. Gosunkugi: But I lost. Akane-red: You did your best. (kisses him) (Kunou manages to slam Nodoka in the gut and knock her down, but then Mousse slashes him with his claws. ) Kunou: Ah! You have wounded me. (Cologne bonks Mousse in the back of the head.) Cologne: Get rid of him. I'll deal with the pony-tailed girl. Kunou: Ah! There she is. (Runs over to Akane-red. She punches him into the wall without even looking.) Cologne: So, who are you? How did you impersonate the female Ranma? Akane-red: Your minions hurt my Gosunkugi! Now I'm going to take you apart, withered one. Cologne: Hah! Your lover is pathetic. Everyone uses him as a pawn. He's done my bidding a time or two. (Lashes out with her staff. Akane-Red grabs it, swings it around and lets go. Cologne goes flying. ) Not bad. I like girls with spunk. (We cut to where a drenched Nabiki and Ryouga are now necking on the table by the broken bottle.) Nabiki: Now this is more like it. Ryouga: I can't understand how I ever prefered Akane over your loveliness. Nabiki: You and me both, baby. (Ranma staggers to his feet. He sees Shampoo and Akane fighting. Broken weapons litter the field of battle. Akane has many bruises and cuts, Shampoo has somewhat less. Both are obviously winded. Akane is in a rage and is not fighting as well as she should.) Akane: Chinese Pervert! Shampoo: Unfeminine Japanese! Ranma: They sound like us. (shakes his head) Will she get mad if I...time to worry about that later. (Ranma charges in.) Akane: I can take her, Ranma! Shampoo: Go away, Ranma! I'll come to you when I finish killing this... Akane: Hah! Your funeral! (smashes Shampoo's last set of weapons. They grapple each other tooth and nail.) Ranma: Okay, that I'm not getting into. (Heads inside) Kasumi: I think Gosunkugi and his girlfriend need your help, Ranma. (Gosunkugi and Akane-red are fighting Cologne. Cologne is clearly winning. Gosunkugi looks beat to pieces, but he is clinging to Cologne's hair, while Akane-red tries to get past Cologne's staff to get in a blow.) Ranma: Get away from her! I'll deal with the Ghoul. (Akane-red and Gosunkugi oblidge) Roaring Lion Bullet! (Cologne dodges the blast, Akane-red now grapples her and flips her into the wall. Genma and Mousse are getting back up.) Cologne: Oh dear. (The mob piles on her. They soon have her hog-tied to her staff. Kasumi ties a nice bow on the ropes.) Kasumi: Would you like some tea while you're waiting. Cologne: This is all your fault. Kasumi: (drinks some tea and smiles) I haven't done anything today but cook and serve tea. Unlike... Cologne: I should have poisoned you when I had the chance. Kasumi: Are you sure you don't want some tea? (Kodachi gets up. No one notices. She heads out to the window.) Kodachi: Two birds with one stone. Heh, heh, heh. (She throws the bottle, it bounces off Shampoo's head but doesn't break. Shampoo is KO'd. Then the lid pops off and it all pours out on the ground.) No, No, No. (Akane picks up the bottle.) Akane: (reading) Unbreakable plastic with child proof cap. (Mousse, Akane-red and Gosunkugi grab Kodachi. Mimi gets to her feet. Looks at Ryouga and Nabiki who are still smooching) Mimi: Love water. Looks like they took it the hard way, though. (She heads over to Cologne) Better luck next time. Cologne: Next time I'll just....(passes out) Kasumi: Would you like some tea? Akane: (staggers over to Ranma) Thank you Ranma, for ...(faints into his arms. He holds her close) Ranma: Akane... (We also see Akane-red has fainted into Gosunkugi's arms. Ranma looks pretty bushed also. Mimi looks at Akane-red, then at Akane, then at Ranma.) Mimi: Now I understand. Gosunkugi: Understand what? Mimi: She is depending on their life forces to resist her tendency to bend to the wills of those around her. Gosunkugi: What? Mimi: She is Tulpa. She becomes what those around her expect or need her to be. But when you conjured her, you linked her to people you knew, and their strength helps her stay what you desire, not others. But she is weakening them a lot. Ranma: No wonder I have felt so weak lately. Mimi: I can see now what must be done. But it will require great courage. Gosunkugi: Done to achieve what? Mimi: To set her life free from their life. To make her real so she need be the slave of desire no more. It will be very dangerous. Ranma: I'll help you Gosunkugi: So will I. Mimi: Lets' get everyone home, then we can begin. Kasumi: And everybody's special dessert is waiting for them at home! Genma: Off we go! (end part 12) (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) Please send comments to Johnbil@wam.umd.edu Thanks for reading my work! (roll part 13) (We open seeing Happosai on the roof of the Tendo dojo. The Tendos and the Saotomes and Mimi, Aloysius, Gosunkugi, and Akane-red are streaming into the house as he watches. Happosai also notices that Ryouga is carrying Nabiki. Genma and Nodoka are helping each other stagger along, Ranma and Akane are holding hands, and Gosunkugi and Akane-red are holding hands. Happosai looks quite agitated.} Happosai: They have taken away my lovely Ranma-chan! No more shall I smell her sweat, touch her wet bosom, feel the slap that always follows, hear the cries of her lovely voice. I taste despair. I have no other choice. I must brave the dangers of Jhuysenko so that I may see my lovely Ranma-chan again. (He scampers downstairs to his room. He carefully pulls a box out of his closet. In it is a taped and glued together mirror. It looks like someone stepped on it. Happosai sits over it and begins to cry.} Happosai: Ranma-chan! Some fate has taken you away from me, but I shall bring you back! (Happosai and the mirror begin to glow.) Take me to Jhuysenko, Naniban mirror. (He vanishes from sight with the mirror.) (Cut to the inside of the Tendo living room. Everyone is sitting around looking battered and exhausted, except Kasumi who is bringing cupcakes to everyone, and Nabiki and Ryouga who are busily necking on a chair in the corner. Kasumi simply puts two cupcakes in front of them and goes over to the couch to sit down with her cupcake. Everyone munches out.) Kasumi: (looking at Nabiki and Ryouga) I never would have guessed. Soun: I am quite surprised myself. Akane: Those bottles of water must have had some kind of love magic. Gosunkugi: I think Ryouga probably knows, but he doesn't want to talk right now, it looks like. Akane-Red: He has the right idea. (grabs Gosunkugi, who struggles for a moment in surprise as they enter Smooch city--population 2) Mimi: I think that... (Nodoka looks at the young couples, grabs Genma. He looks very surprised. She drags him off upstairs. He isn't fighting too hard.) Mimi: ..we should plan.... (Kasumi heads into the kitchen, looking a little wistful. Akane looks at Ranma, Ranma looks at Akane, they both look at the outbreak of snuggliness. They look around, realize no one is looking directly at them, dart out of the room towards the back porch together.) Mimi: ...to rest and...hey, no one's paying attention to me. Soun: (looks a little uncomfortable) Well I am, but everybody else... Mimi: Oh well, I was just going to suggest we all rest before we try to take care of Gosunkugi and his friend's problem. I think I'll go have a nice relaxing flight. Come Aloysius. (She and Aloysius head out through the kitchen.) (Soun is left alone in the room except for two pairs of snuggling teens. He wavers between looking benevolently paternal and looking a little sad. He gets up, walks over to Akane and Ryouga, stares at them for a moment. His hand hovers over their cupcakes, then he grabs the cupcakes and runs.) (Roll opening Theme Song: "The Rose" Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. (We see Ukyou and Shampoo chasing Ranma) Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your heart to bleed. (We see Shampoo hit Mousse as he tries to hug her and Ryouga watch Akane watch the running Ranma) Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need. (We see Gosunkugi watching Akane from the rooftop while Kuno and Kodachi leap down at Ranma) I say love, it is a flower and you, it's only seed. (Akane jumps and clobbers Kuno and Kodachi) It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance (Nabiki amusedly looks on) It's the dream afraid of waking who never takes a chance (Mousse runs to Shampoo again while Ryouga hangs back staring sadly at Akane.) It's the one that won't be taken who never learns to give (Nodoka walks up; Genma hides) and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live! (Ranma turns and faces his pursuers) When the Night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, (Mousse, Ryouga, and Gosunkugi sit dejectedly nearby) and it seems that love is only for the lucky and the strong (They watch the women flocking around Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo cling to him. Akane looks mad.) just remember, in the winter deep beneath the winter snows (Akane rears back apparently to hit Ranma...He has that "No!" look.) lies the seed , that with the sun's love in the spring, becomes the rose. (She grabs and kisses him while punching Ukyou and Shampoo into next week. He is shocked, then reciprocates.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) special thanks to Thomas "Ranma" Cardwell for one of the plot threads of this episode and to everybody else who has sent me comments, complements, and ideas. Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part thirteen: Happosai lusts for Ranma-chan! Can Desires be made Real? (It is morning at the Tendo dojo. Everyone is eating breakfast.) Mimi: (to Ranma) Since today is Friday, we will start the ritual tonight after school. If it works, Gosunkugi's tulpa will no longer be linked to your life forces. In fact, it won't be a tulpa anymore for that matter. Ranma: What exactly do we have to do? Mimi: Ideally, the first part of the ritual will remove her tulpa nature and make an ordinary human of her. The second part will then sever her connections to you two, so that she will live off her own energies. She won't need yours anymore to fight off the needs of others. Akane: What exactly is a Tulpa? Mimi: It is a creature from the realm of desire. It becomes what people expect, or want or need it to be. Somehow when Gosunkugi summoned it, it was linked to your life forces, probably because it was created in your image, Akane. This link let it resist the desire of others so it could stay the way it was when it met Gosunkugi. Akane: Why do you call her it? Mimi: Tulpas have no innate sex, but for now this tulpa is a she, and forevermore if we succeed. Ranma: But why was she linked to my life force? Mimi: I have no idea. It must have something to do with why it has red hair, not black like Akane's, but your hair is black. Ranma: Well, (looks around. His mom has just gone into the kitchen) Not always. I...We'd better go outside. (Mimi follows him out, a little confused. Akane tags along) Ranma: Let me just dunk my head for a moment... Mimi: You fell in one of the Jhuysenko pools! Ranma: You've heard of them? Mimi: Yes. Every pool... Ranma: has its own tragic legend. Yes. Mimi: I've never heard of a red-haired man pool... Akane: It wasn't. Ranma: I..well Akane: instant woman. Mimi: Ah. Did Gosunkugi try to cure your curse? Ranma: Yes. Mimi: I think he only displaced the energy. Somehow it flowed into the tulpa, and linked you, giving it the red hair of your female self. Ranma: Does that mean that if the tulpa becomes human... Mimi: ...you'll probably get the curse back. Akane: Isn't there anything we can do about that? Mimi: Every pool requires a different cure. Gosunkugi does not yet have the power to cure you. I do not. There is always a way, but sometimes it is very hard. Ranma: What if we left it linked to me? I could... Mimi: For as long as it is linked to you, you will lose much of your strength. Ranma: So that's why I've felt so weak lately. Mimi: Gosunkugi's spell will break sooner or later, anyway. But this way, she will have a chance to be real instead of losing herself again, as tulpas always do. Ranma: I thought I was free... Mimi: Cheer up! There are much worse things than being a woman. Ranma: (sulking a bit) Name one. Akane: Ranma! (she looks mad) Ranma: Uh, Akane, I didn't mean... (Pow! Ranma gets slugged back into the living room and slides across the floor to the table. Kasumi stands over him.) Kasumi: Are you done eating, or would you like some more breakfast? (scene cuts to the Nekohanten. The lunch rush is dying down. Mousse is running around acting as waiter. Shampoo is nowhere to be seen, although Cologne is cooking. Finally, the last of the crowd finishes and leaves.) Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: (mimicing her voice) "If it wasn't for those meddling kids and their dog"... Cologne: (a bit angry) Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: Cologne: Mousse: (He throws a blade on a chain at her, then leaps to avoid her staff stroke as she dodges the blade. He follows up with a hail of hammers, knives, saws, screwdrivers, pickaxes, and other weaponry. Cologne dodges or parries everyone, then pokes him in the forehead with her staff. He falls down.) Cologne: Mousse: (He tosses a racketball at her. He misses. She laughs.) Cologne: (Bonk! It ricochets off the back wall into her head. She staggers a bit. ( She presses the attack. She keeps bopping him, but every so often she slips up or he manages to bounce something off a wall and hit her in the back of the head. She is getting a nice bruise there. Finally, she falls back into the kitchen. He presses the attack. A yawning Shampoo comes out. (not wearing her glasses) Shampoo: Mousse: (turns to Shampoo) (Cologne whaps him while he is distracted. He staggers back. She starts rapidly poking him at various points on his body. Cologne: (Mousse begins to strain, but seems paralyzed.) Cologne: Mousse: (He sounds like he is straining himself extremely just to talk.) Cologne: (Shampoo is bringing over a bucket of water.) Mousse: (Splash! Instant Duck. However, Mousse is no longer paralyzed, either. Mousse-duck gets airborne and flaps out into the dining area and out the window. Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: (addressing a potted plant) Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: (sighs.) (Scene cuts to the gates of Furinkan High. Ryouga is perched on top of the pillar on the left side of the gate. He is watching the clouds go by. He is talking to the clouds, one of which seems to form itself into Nabiki's face as he watches it.) Ryouga: Wow. I'm such a lucky guy. Why'd I ever chase after Akane when Nabiki was right there all the time? She's beautiful, witty, and smart. If I ever find my parents again, they'll be estatic. (pulls out a pocket watch.) Only three more hours until I see her blessed face once more. (Rarely have we ever seen Ryouga this happy.) (Mousse-duck dives down out of the sky.) Ryouga: Hi, Mousse. Shampoo got angry with you again? Mousse-duck: Quack. Ryouga: I'm not carrying any hot water. (Mousse-duck tugs on his sleeve) I can't leave. I'll get lost. Mousse-duck: Quack! Ryouga: I just can't go. I'm sorry. If you're willing to wait, I could take you home with us. (Mousse-duck seems unwilling to wait. He throws himself at Ryouga who soon finds himself in man-to-duck combat. They fall off the pillar and tumble across the schoolyard. A teacher sees them and approaches) Teacher (Fujishima Ito) What's going on here? Ryouga: (Who has briefly gotten a good hold on Mousse) I'm fighting a duck! What does it look like? Fujishima Ito: It looks like you're cutting class. Ryouga: (staggers as Mousse breaks loose and pecks his face) I don't go to school! Fujishima-sensei: A delinquent! We'll see about that. (grabs Ryouga and drags him by the shoulder as Mousse continues to wail on him. Ryouga opens his umbrella to shield his face and shoulders from duck attack. Eventually Mousse gives up and flies off.) Fujishima-sensei: So what year should you be in? Ryouga: If I don't get back to the gate, I'll get lost and Nabiki will miss me. Fujishima-sensei: You know Tendo Nabiki? Ryouga: Yes, she's... Fujishima-sensei: Good. I'll put you under her care. She'll whip you into shape. She's a good, no-nonsense student. Ryouga: But I'm not... (Ryouga is being bounced up a staircase.) Fujishima-sensei: No Buts allowed here, young man. We do it our way. (Fujishima-sensei hauls him into an empty classroom, sits Ryouga in a desk.) Fujishima-sensei: Now, this is my off period. The next class will be here in just a few minutes. I'll give you to Nabiki then. Ryouga: I'm only... Fujishima-sensei: Silence or you'll go out in the hall with buckets. (Ryouga shivers) Ryouga: (thought) [That could be very bad.] (brief passage of time. We hear a bell, students start to enter the class, stare at Ryouga. We hear Nabiki and Kunou in the hallway dickering.) Nabiki: This photo of Akane and the pony-tailed girl together is worth at least 5000 yen, Kunou. Kunou: 4000 yen. Nabiki: (as she and Kunou come in.) 4900 yen. That's my final offer. I just can't...(notices Ryouga is in the desk next to her usual one.) Sensei! Who is the new student? Kunou: (stares blankly) You know... Nabiki: (stage whisper to Kunou:) Shut up and I'll meet your 4000 yen price. Kunou: (overacting) Why yes, Sensei? Who is this uncouth gentleman? Ryouga: Hey... Fujishima-sensei: (To Ryouga) Silence, delinquent dog! (To Nabiki) He is, uh, what is your name? Ryouga: (Stares at him in silence) Fujishima-sensei: I know you speak Japaneese. Your name! Ryouga: (Holds up sign like the ones Genma uses in Panda form) You said not to speak. One of the students: He's Ryouga, Ranma's enemy. Fujishima-sensei: Another delinquent, that Saotome boy. Tendo Nabiki, I am placing this delinquent in your care until he can be properly integrated into this school. Nabiki: What do I get out of it? Fujishima-sensei: The opportunity to serve your school and to rehabilitate...(Realizes Nabiki is giving him a "I'm not buying it" look) Nabiki: Serving my school is fine and all, but this isn't a student's.... Fujishima-sensei: How about two free movie passes? (pulls them out of his desk) Nabiki: Make it four... Fujishima-sensei: Done! (hands over four passes to her.) Nabiki: ( pockets them, goes to her desk, sits down, winks to Ryouga, and whispers to him) Now we can go see a movie tonight for free. (says to Kunou) So lets' see your yen. (We see a series of brief school scenes in different classes:) (History with Fujishima-sensei:) Fujishima-sensei: Kunou, why did the Shogunate come to an end? Kunou: James Clavell ran out of ideas? Fujishima-sensei: If you weren't the principal's son... Kunou: I would be someone else's son. Fujishima-sensei: I sincerely hope not. (Math with Senou-sensei) Senou-sensei: If we take the integral of 3X + 5X^2 + 45X^3, what do we get Ranma? Ranma: A terminal case of boredom. Senou-sensei: That is not the way to be a good student. Ranma: What does a martial artist need calculus for, anyway? Senou-sensei: All sorts of things, like, uh, well....actually, I guess you don't. Ranma: (getting up to leave) I'll just be leaving then. Senou-sensei: Hey! (Drama with Ayukawa-sensei) Ayukawa-sensei: This play involves the three norse goddesses, the Norns. Can anyone tellme who the three Norns were? Gosunkugi: Urd, Skuld, and Belldandy. Belldandy worked for the Relief Goddess Office, while... (Everyone is staring at him, especially the teacher, who looks confused.) Ayukawa-sensei: What are you talking about? Gosunkugi: Never mind. (School is out. Ryouga, Akane, Nabiki, Ranma, and Ukyou are heading for the gate. ) Ukyou: (To Nabiki) Ryouga ran out on me last night. I want my money back. Nabiki: We're partners now. I can't... Ryouga: I am ashamed of what I did. I will go with you and work for as long as you need me, as long as you will guide me back to the Tendo Dojo so I can see Nabiki tonight. (looks solemn) Ukyou: I...alright. (looks over at Ranma. Sighs.) Ranma: (sees her sigh. Sighs a little himself. Thought:) [I'm sorry, Ucchan.] (They reach the gate. Kunou is at the gate, standing with his bokken held in front of him. He won't let anyone through the gate. He is adressing the crowd: ) Kunou: Saotome has taken my love from me! N0 ONE leaves until I have his head on a platter! No One! Bring him to me in chains and I will let you leave! Someone: If we fight him, he'll kick us into the next district! Kunou: Would you rather fight your way past me? (Crowd shivers. Soon they form up in a poorly armed mob. The gang approaches) Some guy: Stop! Kunou wants your head on a platter Saotome. Ranma: Why doesn't he come get it himself? Guy 2: Good point. Guy 3: Yup. Guy 4: So why don't you get it yourself, Sempai? Kunou: Just bring it to me! (The Mob slowly inches towards them. Ukyou, Ranma, Akane, and Ryouga move into fighting stances. Nabiki gets up on a nearby table and gets out her camera.) Guy 1: They're going to cream us. Guy 2: Why are we doing this? Guy 1: So Kunou doesn't cream us. Guy 2: How about if we let them cream Kunou? If he is beat up, he can't hurt us. Guy 56: Good idea. Reverse Gears! (The mob turns and floods out the gate, trampling Kunou. He sits up just as Nabiki's flash goes off. He is blinded. Our gang runs past him.) Kunou: I, "The Blue Thunder" have been blinded by my own glory. (Thunk. He faints.) (Cut to the gang dividing. Ryouga and Ukyou head off towards Ukyou's restaurant, while Nabiki, Akane, and Ranma head home. ) Ukyou: So you ended up in class with Nabiki? Ryouga: Yup. I felt really inadequate. And the teacher wouldn't let me speak. Ukyou: No talking? Ryouga: It was really annoying. And I had no idea what was going on. I'm really behind with my education. Ukyou: Well, maybe I can help you with that. I know Nabiki will. Ryouga: Thanks. I've already got homework, but no books and I have no idea what is going on in half the classes. And Nabiki will graduate in a few months. I don't know what we will do then. Ukyou: At least you have a future to worry about...with her. (looks glum) Ryouga: (looks uncomfortable) Well, I...uh...don't feel too bad, Ukyou. I....AAAHHHHH!!!!(Mousse-duck bomb dives him. They stagger, fall down a sewer manhole. Splash!) Ukyou: (looking down the manhole.) Great. I'm not climbing in there for you idiots! (Cut to the Tendo Dojo. The left side of the dojo now has an elaborate chalk pattern on the floor. It is surrounded by two circles, one containing the other. Mimi is hard at work setting up candles and drawing more lines, assisted by Kasumi and Akane-red. Gosunkugi is sitting and studying a book. Aloysius is hard at work watching them work.) Mimi: (to Kasumi) We'll need absolute silence once we get started, so I'd like you to try to keep everyone else out of here. Kasumi: Yes, sensei. (Nabiki, Ranma, and Akane walk in. Nabiki starts snapping photos.) Nabiki: This looks like the set for the next Conan movie. Ranma: Starring me as...(sees Aloysius) ACK! (Freezes up staring) Mimi: This is going to be a problem. Akane: (Whispered to Mimi) Ranma is terrified of cats. Mimi: But I need Aloysius. Kasumi: Why? Aloysius: I am her familiar. She is able to channel magical energy through me that might otherwise overwhelm her when she casts a spell. I keep the power level where she can control it. Without something to shield them from magical energies, a witch can only do simple magic. Kasumi: This certainly looks complicated. Mimi: Hmm. (She gets out a blindfold and blindfolds Ranma. He can't see the cat, so he unparalyzes.) Ranma: Hey, I can't see. Akane: Such a silly fear. Ranma: I'm not afraid of anything! (takes off blindfold, sees cat, locks up) Akane: (shakes head) Ranma no baka. (Puts Blindfold back on him.) Keep it on. Ranma: How can I do anything If I can't see. Mimi: You will have no blindfold where you are going. Ranma: Going? Mimi: I must first send you to the other side before the ritual begins. Akane: Other side? Mimi: The faerie lands, the spirit realm, the other world, the land of dreams. It has many names. Tulpas were created by two of its denizens, a being known as Desire and her brother Dream. They may take offense at what we are doing and try to interfere. You must stop them while Gosunkugi and I try to carry out the spell to make her real and cut her links to you two. Akane: What kind of interference would they try? Mimi: I don't know. But they are more likely to seduce than fight, I know that. Ranma: Are you sure I won't be blindfolded in the spirit world. Mimi: Yes. Ranma: Good. Mimi: Okay, now follow my directions. (Akane-Red sits inside the inner circle, while Gosunkugi and Mimi stand inside the first circle on opposite sides of her. Ranma and Akane stand on opposite sides of her inside the inner circle: (going clock wise it is Mimi Ranma Gosunkugi Akane). Aloysius perches on Mimi's shoulder. Then Kasumi lights the candle each one is standing by and leaves to go into the house. ) Mimi: Gabriel! Rafiel! Uriel! Michael! I call upon your aid. Protect us as we seek to perform the rite of transformation. We beeseech thy aid. Gosunkugi: Archangels protect us. (The circles begin to glow. Akane starts.) Gosunkugi: Monkey--trickster, thief, King--open the way to the other side, so that the Guardians, Male and Female may pass. Mimi: Opener of the Ways, we invoke thy power! (The air rips open over them. Tendrils of fog leak out of the glowing hole and envelop Ranma and Akane. They find themselves lost in the fog.) Ranma: Are we there yet? Akane: Ranma, where are you? (She can't see him anywhere) Ranma: (rips off blindfold.) Akane! (We briefly see them wandering in the Fog. We also see the circle in the dojo with Gosunkugi, Mimi, Aloysius, and Akane-red. Perhaps they are still in the dojo and fog has filled it. Perhaps they have travelled to the Other Side, circle and all. We cannot tell. ) Akane-red: I can see them! Mimi: Good. Now it begins. (We see Ranma wander through the fog. Then he steps out of it into the Nekohanten. He is quite confused.) Ranma: Hey, where did this come from? (Shampoo enters wearing a slinky red dress.) Shampoo: Hello, Ranma. Ranma: Uh, hi. How did... (Suddenly Shampoo is right up next to him, arms around his neck, her face mere milimeters away from his.) Shampoo: I knew you would come back to me. Ranma: No! I just...well, I thought I was... Shampoo: Don't talk. Show me you love me. Ranma: I don't...(tries to pull away, but she moves with him. He is starting to get that Ranma's willpower disintegrating look) Akane will... Shampoo: Akane will never know. (She lunges forward to kiss him. He pulls his head back.) Playing hard to get. Ranma: Yes! I mean no. I mean...Akane would kill me, I mean... Shampoo: What if she never found out? (still up close to him) Ranma: Even if she never knew. Shampoo: I'll just have to try harder. (She shrugs off the slinky gown revealing that a very, very skimpy negligee beneath. Ranma is sweating now.) Ranma: (thought) [This can't be happening. How'd I get here? Where's Akane?} (He wrestles free from her. She starts to chase him. They jump table to table, chair to chair, then around the counters . Finally, she pins him in the corner.) Shampoo: You always run, Ranma, but you know you want me. Come to me. (Ranma is obviously struggling with himself. He is almost shaking with tension.) (Cut to Akane wandering in the fog. Suddenly, she finds herself in the kitchen of the Tendo dojo. She is wearing big pot-holder gloves and an apron over the clothing she was wearing moment's ago. The nearby oven is obviously on. Suddenly the timer dings. She looks in the oven and sees a trait of cookies. She takes them out and puts them on the table.) Akane: Those smell nice, but where am I? Kasumi: (enters the kitchen) You're in the kitchen, silly, cooking some of those lovely cookies you always make. Save some for me when I get back. Akane: Where are you going? Kasumi: I'm going picnicing with Dr. Tofu. You'll have to cook dinner. Akane: Everyone is going to complain. (looks down) Kasumi: Why? You're a wonderful cook. Ranma certainly thinks so. Akane: I...what? Kasumi: Gotta run! (She is out the door in a flash.) Akane: I haven't blanked out a couple of years of my life have I? (Puts cookie tray on table. She turns and takes off the apron and pot-holders. While her back is turned, Genma darts in, grabs a cookie, and takes off.) Akane: This is wierd. I had better go see if they finished in the dojo. (In the dojo, she sees Genma and Soun sparring. Genma has a few conspicuous chocolate marks around his mouth, and crumbs on his hands.) Akane: Father, what happened to the ritual? Soun: Ritual? Akane: Ranma and I were helping Mimi and Gosunkugi by... Genma: We've been in here all afternoon; you've been in the kitchen; and Ranma went over to Ukyou's to help her move some stuff. Akane: But I don't remember... Soun: Are the cookies ready yet? Akane: They're still hot, but... Genma: Hot cookies are good. (Soun raises an eyebrow, spots the crumbs.) Genma: Not that I would know. (Nabiki sticks her head in.) Nabiki: Its' for you Akane. (trills her voice) Its' Ranma, you lucky devil. Akane: I am truly confused. (We cut back to Ranma. He leaps up onto Shampoo's head and leaps across the kitchen to a countertop.) Ranma: I can't give you what you want! Shampoo: Sure you can. You want it too. Ranma: No I don't. Shampoo: Your body says yes. Ranma: eep.(Shampoo is closing in again.) (Cut to Akane: She is on the phone. We see Ranma at the other end of the line, obviously at Ukyou's) Akane: Ranma? Ranma: Hello, my love. Akane: I...(seems shocked)...Can Ukyou...I mean... Ranma: What are you talking about? Akane: Won't...uh...well Ukyou(Yelled from out of sight) He's supposed to be asking you if I can eat with you guys tonight. I heard you're cooking and Tsubasa is out of town, so... Ranma: Did you get that? Akane: You want me to cook tonight? Ranma: You're such a wonderful cook, but you seem reluctant to cook normally. So we're all jumping at this rare opportunity. Akane: What happened with the ritual? Ranma: Huh? Akane: The one we were supposed to be acting as guards for? Ranma: I have no idea what you are talking about. Akane: I'm beginning to wonder if I have any idea either? (Scene cuts to where we see fog swirl around the ritual circle. A black beam, a multicolored beam, and a red beam are coming out of Akane-red's head. They stretch into Infinity. The multi-colored one is starting to bend.. Mimi and Gosunkugi are sweating and chanting something arrythmic. ) Akane-red: I don't understand what I am seeing them doing. Shampoo is trying to get Ranma to do it with her, and Akane is wandering around confused talking to people? What is going on? (Mimi and Gosunkugi don't say anything. They just keep chanting. The Multicolored beam bends more.) Akane-red: Is it working? Say something! (Cut to the Nekohanten again. Shampoo is peeking up at Ranma who has somehow crammed himself into a cabinet. She steps back and pulls a bottle of water out of somewhere. It looks like the bottles of Man-drown water and love water from the previous episode.) Shampoo: Well, I was going to give this to you, but if you prefer Akane over me... Ranma: What is it? Shampoo: Man-water. It can make you a man forever. Ranma: This is a trick, Isn't it? Shampoo: Watch. (She pulls a mouse out of a nearby drawer. She pours a little water on it. It becomes a confused naked human. She pours cold water on it--still human. Hot water--still human, but it howls and runs away.) Shampoo: You could be a man forever, but... Ranma: (down out of the cabinet) but... Shampoo: only if you are my man. Ranma: That's not... Shampoo: It's perfectly fair. Japan is not communist. This is my water. Ranma: I need that water, but I can't... Shampoo: Me and the water, or Akane and watching out for the next time it rains. Your choice. Ranma: (Shakes with indecision) (Cut to Akane cooking.in the kitchen. Everything looks delicious.) Akane: Wow. This is easy. I just wish I knew how this all came to pass. I feel like I'm abandoning my duty, but noone seems to know about the ritual. (Nabiki and Ryouga come in hand in hand.) Nabiki: Looks like it will be a triple wedding. Akane: What? Ryouga: Dr. Tofu told me he is going to propose to Kasumi this afternoon. Akane: Wow. Nabiki: All the Tendo sisters getting married! It'll be the wedding of the century. I'll make a killing on tuxedo rentals alone. Akane: It's like a dream come true. (Cut to the ritual. Things are beginning to loom out of the mist. Shapes without form ebb and flow, slowly beginning to chip away at the outer circle. Akane-red can see Akane and Ranma now. The black line runs to Akane, the red to Ranma. Both are wandering around interacting with phantasms. Meanwhile, the spirits are mounting an assault on the circle.) Akane-red: I've got to do something! But what? (looks at the bonds linking her to Akane and Ranma.) Hmmm. (Cut to Ranma in the Nekohanten. He is still quivering with indecision.) Shampoo: Last call. What's it going to be? Ranma: I...uh...well... Shampoo: Akane will never know...Just this once. I know you dream about us. Ranma: (thought) [dream...something about dreams] (Suddenly he sees his female self reflected in a nearby mirror; Ranma-chan speaks to him.) Ranma-chan: Mimi said Desire and Dream might interfere. Shampoo: Don't listen to her, Ranma. Come to me and be a man forever. Ranma-chan: She's trying to trap you, Ranma. Ranma: But if I go with you... Ranma-chan: You may be a woman forever. I can make no promises. Shampoo: See! She can't offer you anything. Ranma-chan: Go with her and you gain your manhood, but betray your pledge to Akane. (Ranma looks back and forth. Then stands tall and straight.) Ranma: I hate my curse... (Shampoo lightens; Ranma-chan looks dejected.) Ranma: ...but I...I...love Akane more! (Shampoo's face darkens.) Shampoo: You cannot leave me. Ranma: I must and will! (He intuitively jumps into the mirror.) (Cut to Akane. She is eating dinner with the whole Tendo family, plus Ranma, Ukyou, Dr. Tofu, Ryouga, Genma, and Nodoka.) Ukyou: You are such a good cook. Ryouga: Great. (He is snarfing down fod like there is no tomorrow.) Nodoka: Today is such a wonderful day. Soun: I am so happy. All my daughters have found fine husbands. (Everyone almost literally shines at everyone else. Akane has never seen so much joy in her life.) (She looks up and sees the ritual through the open door to the dojo. The spirits have almost crashed through the outer circle. The multicolored beam has almost been bent back to where it touches Akane-red a second time. ) Akane: Look! That's what I was talking about. I have to go help them! Ranma: I don't see anything. Akane: (Halfway to door) I have to go. I promised... Kasumi: What if it's a magical trap? Akane: What? Kasumi: If you leave, you may never be able to return.... Akane: (looks around.) I.... Ranma: Don't leave me, Akane. Akane: I...(looks back. The spirits are all over the circle. They are glowing brightly.) I must. I'm sorry. I made a promise... (She turns and jumps through the door. She and Ranma come out of their trances and see the spirits. They look at each other...) Ranma: Akane! Akane: I thought you... Ranma: Someone tried to trick us! Akane-red: Help! (They turn to the circle. It has been breached. Ranma and Akane hurl themselves into the breach. They wreak havoc, fighting in unison. Spirits fly everywhere. The multi-colored beam finally touches Akane-red, then breaks off and forms a loop touching only her. The rest of the beam fades. Then the loop is absorbed into her. Mimi and Gosunkugi stop chanting.) Ranma: Are we done yet? Mimi: We must break the link twixt you two and her. Akane: What do we have to do? Gosunkugi: Just keep watch for anymore trouble (Gosunkugi and Mimi start chanting again and waving their arms. The candles shed a dim glow though the still swirling fog. The beams linking Ranma to Akane-red to Akane begin to pulse from Akane-red towards Ranma and Akane.) (We see Ranma see himself through a open door-shaped portal in the fog. Ranma goes over to the portal.) Ranma: What the (The other Ranma is talking to Ryouga: Ranma-other: (looking straight through the door at Ranma) Hmm. I wonder if he's been seeing P-chan in mirrors. Ryouga: (Who we now see sitting in the window) Well, I was, until it wore off. Ranma-other: (starts) I was afraid of that. Has your curse come all the way back? (The view flickers and we see Ranma hunting for clothes before his big date with Akane. We see Ranma asleep. We see Ranma doing various other things. Then it changes and becomes two eyes: Everything we see through them is as Ranma saw the events he and the audience are viewing. Through them, Ranma sees Gosunkugi and Ukyou chanting the ritual to break Ranma's curse. We see Ranma's efforts in the battle of the brides from his perspective, Ranma fighting Shampoo, Ranma pretending to be Ryouga's fiancee, a beach visit, Kunou hitting on "the pony-tail girl", Ranma fighting Mousse, Ranma lying to Shampoo that he was really a girl, Ranma dueling with Kodachi in a "Martial Gymnastics" competition, his first meeting with Akane--aftermath of them sparring) Akane: (laughing along with Ranma) You're pretty good. I'm glad you're a girl. Ranma-chan: Heh? Akane: Because... I couldn't tolerate myself losing out to a guy. (outside the view) Ranma: I couldn't tolerate losing out to a guy either. (laughs a little) My memories---running before my eyes. I must be re-seeing everything I did as a woman. (Now we see Akane. She too is gazing through a pair of eyes. She sees her first real kiss with Ranma, her date with Ryouga, her date with Ranma, her and Ranma falling towards the man-water pool on the magical island and him blowing it up to save her, various women hitting on Ranma, a disasterous effort at cooking, the time Ranma thought he really was a girl, P-chan running away from Ranma to her, her duel with Kodachi, the moment she discovered Ranma was really a guy, standing up for Ranma when everyone was mad because they had been expecting a boy, her father's excitement at Ranma coming, her last memory of her mother alive...) Akane: Mom...I miss you so much. (Ranma sees his first battle with Shampoo, then the water of the Jhuysenko pool just after he fell in...) Memory Ranma-chan: AAAHHHH!!!!! Ranma: This is the end. That is where my other self was born. (But the memories continue--A 12 year old Ranma running with his dad from a mob, an eight year old Ranma cuddling up to his father on a cold winter's night, a seven year old Ranma falling into a pit full of cats, a six year old Ranma playing with six year old Ukyou, a five year old Ranma waving goodbye to his mother, a three year old being held in his mother's arms, and a final lingering image of his mother and father looking down on him smiling.) Ranma: I don't understand. (We see Akane also facing her own barrage of images--the funeral of her mother, then farther back, looking at a family photo of Soun, his wife, a 12 year old Kasumi, a ten year old Nabiki, and a nine year old Akane. All have eager smiles. The four women all have the same hair-style, but Kasumi is in a dress, Nabiki in casual clothing, and Akane in a gi.) Akane: Even then, we were different. (Akane sees a family christmas ten years ago. Snow in the yard. Kasumi and Nabiki throwing snowballs at each other. Kunou visiting and showing off his new bokken from his father, then Nabiki tripping him while he shows off.) Akane: Kunou never changes. (Twelve years ago. The family curled up on the couch together watching TV. Except for size variation, the sisters are identical. Everyone is eating cookies that Mother Tendo made. Akane drops hers, it breaks, she starts to cry. Nabiki gives Akane half of her cookie.) Akane: What happened to you, Nabiki? Why did you give yourself to money? Why? (We now see back in the ritual circle, the beams are thinned to threads. Akane-red looks like she is in a trance. She is kneeling with her eyes shut and gently swaying. The threads fade, Gosunkugi and Mimi sit down exhausted, and Akane-red collapses. Her hair is now completely black.) Gosunkugi: Akane! (He rushes over to her. She is barely breathing.) Mimi: I was afraid of this. Gosunkugi: What! Why didn't you say anything? Mimi: She was more dependent on their life forces than I thought. She was drained by being transformed, and now she may not have enough life left in her to survive. Gosunkugi: She has to live! (We see Akane and Ranma now just staring off into empty space. The eyes have closed.) Ranma: Why did those memories come back to me? Akane: Mom...I love you.(looks ready to cry) (back in the circle) Gosunkugi: Don't leave me. I don't want to go back to being alone. Akane-red: Gosunkugi... Gosunkugi: Save your strength. We'll...We'll... Akane-red: Kiss me one last time... Gosunkugi: okay, my...my...l..l...love. (They kiss. As they kiss, they both begin to glow. The candles glow brighter and beams of light begin to converge out of the fog. Mimi steps back) Aloysius: What's going on? Mimi: I didn't think he'd be able to do it. I'm certainly too tired for it. Aloysius: Perhaps you could directly answer my question. Mimi: Well this isn't the normal way to make someone your familiar, but it certainly looks more enjoyable. Aloysius: He's making her... Mimi: She is magical. With all that power flowing through her, she'll live. And have plenty left over for him or her. Aloysius: Wow. Mimi: Now all they need is something to call her other than Akane. Aloysius: Why? Mimi: That would be confusing considering they now look alike too. (A little later. They are all back in the dojo. Ranma looks contemplative, as does Akane. Akane-red and Gosunkugi are standing arm in arm. Aloysius is standing behind Ranma. Mimi is cleaning up with Kasumi's help.) Akane-red: Well, I've decided to call myself Akemi now, to avoid confusion. Ranma: You two do look exactly alike now. Akemi: That can be fixed.(She shimmers for a moment and her hair turns red) Like this. Or like this (Shimmers again--instant Ranma-chan clone). But I'll probably stick with this. (back to a red-haired Akane appearance). That's how Gosunkugi's parents know me. Akane: Will you be sticking around, Mimi? Mimi: I have to be heading back to Quagmire. But Gosunkugi will be coming to see me this summer for more training, and any of you who want to come are welcome. Akane: I think Kasumi has a pen pal in Quagmire. Mimi: I'll talk to Kasumi before I leave, then. Ranma: I'm hungry. Akane: How about if I cook us something to eat? Gosunkugi: Sure. Akemi: Well... Ranma: I'm not that hungry. (Akane glares at Ranma who starts backing up) Ranma: I didn't say you were a lousy cook, I just said that... Akane: RANMA NO BAKA! (She chases him out of the dojo into the house) Kasumi: The more things change, the more they stay the same. (We cut to Happosai's room. He appears, standing on the taped together Naniban mirror. He is carrying five large Jugs of water. He looks ecstatic.) Happosai: Never again will I be deprived of my marvelous Ranma-chan! When I am done, all shall be as it was! Ha Ha Ha Ha! (We zoom in on the jugs, labeled--Girl Water, Girl Water, Panda Water, Mouse Water, and one whose label we cannot read from this angle. All have the underlying label: Natural JHUSENKYO Spring Water from China, Make the "Change". Nonbreakable Plastic Childproof cap) (Cut to Ryouga and Ukyou hauling a wet and paralyzed Mousse into Dr. Tofu's office.) Dr. Tofu: Oh my goodness. What happened to him? He's dripping wet and paralyzed. (Touches him) Hot water. Ukyou: You can tell? Dr. Tofu: Did he fall down a well? Ukyou: The water isn't the problem. Mousse: Cologne....poked me...several times. (He is straining to speak) Dr. Tofu: (Sigh) That woman seems determined to give me more business....Right. (He rapidly pokes Mousse in the exact points where Cologne struck him) That should do it. (Mousse sits up) Mousse: Thank you, Dr. Tofu. I haven't got much money, but... Dr. Tofu: Actually I could use some assistance around here if you have some free time. Mousse: It wouldn't be wise for me to go back to the Nekohanten for a while, so that sounds like a good idea. Dr. Tofu: (To Ukyou) How are you and Ranma doing? I haven't heard anything since.... Ukyou: (looks sad) He, well...He and Akane finally decided it would be the two of them who will be married. (looks at the ground) Dr. Tofu: I'm sorry for you. Ukyou: (looks up) We have to be happy for them. I know that...that...I don't want Ranma to worry about me being unhappy. Dr. Tofu: That's very noble of you. Have any of you seen P-chan? Akane was in here the other day looking for him, but only the gods know where that pig runs off to. You'd think he was a secret agent or something. Ukyou: I think... Ryouga: I think he may have run away for good... Dr. Tofu: That would make Akane very sad if you're right, Ryouga. Ryouga: (uncomfortable) She's got Ranma to keep her company. Ukyou: We've really got to go. (Grabs Ryouga) Thanks for helping Mousse, Dr. Tofu! (They leave) Dr. Tofu: Now they might make a cute couple... Mousse: I think Ryouga has gotten involved with Nabiki. Dr. Tofu: I...what? Amazing. Well, let's get to work. Mousse: Do you think you could teach me how to counter that movie Cologne used on me? Dr. Tofu: Well... Mousse: I think I need to be more prepared the next time we get in a fight. Dr. Tofu: Just do this...(Suddenly Dr. Tofu is behind Mousse and pokes his fingers into Mousse's neck under Mousse's ears. Mousse locks up and cannot move.) Mousse: How do you undo it? Dr. Tofu: You just (The door opens. Kasumi walks in.) Kasumi: Hello, Dr. Tofu. I just wanted to...(She is holding a book) Dr. Tofu: So..so...nice of you...to...to...visit (His glasses are fogging. Minor twitching starts.) I was just practicing...Well, never mind... Kasumi: Is that Mousse? Dr. Tofu: No, I prefer my hair natural. (swings arms around, knocks Mousse down) Mousse: I...think...I'm in ...trouble. (He is lying paralyzed on his back on the floor.) (We cut to the Nekohanten. Cologne and Shampoo are closing up shop. Clock reads 10:00 pm.) Cologne: Blast! Mousse hasn't come back and we have to do this all ourselves. Shampoo: I thought you didn't want him to come back. Cologne: Well, I don't mind him cleaning up the store.... (We see Dr. Tofu's office. It is dark and the lights are off. Mousse is still paralyzed on the floor. The clock reads 11:59 pm.) Mousse: (We see the Tendo dojo. It is closed and dark. We see Ryouga clambering up the walls to the roof. He passes Nabiki's window and looks in on her sleeping peacefully. She is smiling.) Ryouga: Pleasant dreams, my love. (He reaches the roof and spreads out a blanket.) Too bad Mr. Tendo won't let me sleep in Nabiki's room. Well, I'm used to rooftops. (He and we hear the sound of someone else climbing up the side of the house. Ryouga looks down and sees Happosai with a big bag full of jugs of water.) Ryouga: What is he up to? Hey, he's going in Ranma's room. (Ryouga clambers down to Ranma's window. He sees a sleeping Ranma with Happosai holding a Jug open over him, about to pour it on him.) You saw that won't work, old man. Happosai: Yes it will. I filled it up at Jhuysenko myself. Ryouga: What do you have five jugs for? Happosai: One for Ranma...One for his mother...One for emergencies...Another one for Ranma...and one for later. Ryouga: His mother? Happosai: Why should the father have to be a panda by himself? Ryouga: You're crazy! (Ranma stirs) Ranma: Eh...panda... Happosai: Go away before you wake him. Ryouga: I can't let you do this. Happosai: You can't stop me. (Swiftly puts down that Jug and throws a second one at Ryouga. Ryouga flies out the window into the backyard with the jug, which looks like pottery, but doesn't break.) Happosai: (looks at Jugs) I threw the wrong one! (rushes to window.) (We see the Jug cork pop out as Ryouga and the jug hit the pond in the Tendo back yard. The water shimmers from the impact and subtly changes color. Ryouga rises out of the water. ) Ryouga: I didn't change! It must have been (looks down. He is a woman, not a pig this time. He even has red hair now.) NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happosai, you Hentai!!!!! Happosai: Ooh, she's cute too. (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (end part 13) (Start part 14) Flashback from part 13: *********************************** Ryouga: I can't let you do this. Happosai: You can't stop me. (Swiftly puts down that Jug and throws a second one at Ryouga. Ryouga flies out the window into the backyard with the jug, which looks like pottery, but doesn't break.) Happosai: (looks at Jugs) I threw the wrong one! (rushes to window.) (We see the Jug cork pop out as Ryouga and the jug hit the pond in the Tendo back yard. The water shimmers from the impact and subtly changes color. Ryouga rises out of the water. ) Ryouga: I didn't change! It must have been (looks down. He is a woman, not a pig this time. He even has red hair now.) NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happosai, you Hentai!!!!! Happosai: Ooh, she's cute too. ************ (Windows start flying open on the Tendo household as various people awaken from the cries and look out in the yard.) Kasumi: Is that Ranma-chan down there? Akane: Ryouga? Nabiki: NO! (She runs out of her room and heads downstairs) Nodoka: Is that Ranko down there? Genma: In Ryouga's clothes. I don't...Happosai! Soun: NO! My garden pool...ruined. I don't need a Jhuysenko in my back yard! Happosai: Sweetie! I'm coming! (He leaps out the window with his jugs before the now wakened Ranma can grab him. Ranma vaults out the window after him. Nabiki streaks across the yard to Ryouga who has emerged dripping from the pond. She grabs his hands.) Nabiki: Ryouga, you've, you've... Ryouga: ...become a woman. And now I'm going to kill Happosai. Nabiki: Will hot water undo it? Ryouga: I'll ask him when I'm done beating on him. (Happosai leaps up onto Ryouga's bosom and clings to him.) Ryouga: AAAHHHH!!!!(He yanks Happosai off and throws him at the wall. Ranma then kicks Happosai straight up in the air. Happosai drops his jugs. Ranma examines them.) Ranma: (reading labels on jugs). Natural JHUSENKYO Spring Water from China, Make the "Change". Nonbreakable Plastic Childproof cap. This one is lableled girl water. This one is panda water. This one is mouse water. And this one is permanent water. Ryouga: Permanent water? Ranma: Don't ask me. (Happosai now falls from the sky onto Ranma's head. Ranma falls down. Happosai gathers up his jugs.) Happosai: You thwarted me, but I shall still have my glorious Ranma-chan back once more. Ranma: Hey, don't... (Too late. Happosai splashes about a third of the girl water on him.) Ranma-chan: do that! (Too late. He has been girled again.) Happosai: and now for the final touches. (He has closed that Jar and opened the permanent water one. But he is too slow and Ranma punts him into orbit.) I'll be back for you, Ranma-chan. Nodoka: MY SON! Happosai, you...(looks at Ranma-chan, then really looks at Ranma-chan. An image of Ranko's face floats in her mind, then overlaps with Ranma-chan's face. Nodoka looks confused. She turns to where Genma was.) Genma, I want an explanation...(Genma is gone, leaving a sign in his wake that says, "Gone downstairs.") GENMA!!!!! (Roll opening Theme Song: "The Rose" Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. (We see Ukyou and Shampoo chasing Ranma) Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your heart to bleed. (We see Shampoo hit Mousse as he tries to hug her and Ryouga watch Akane watch the running Ranma) Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need. (We see Gosunkugi watching Akane from the rooftop while Kuno and Kodachi leap down at Ranma) I say love, it is a flower and you, it's only seed. (Akane jumps and clobbers Kuno and Kodachi) It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance (Nabiki amusedly looks on) It's the dream afraid of waking who never takes a chance (Mousse runs to Shampoo again while Ryouga hangs back staring sadly at Akane.) It's the one that won't be taken who never learns to give (Nodoka walks up; Genma hides) and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live! (Ranma turns and faces his pursuers) When the Night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, (Mousse, Ryouga, and Gosunkugi sit dejectedly nearby) and it seems that love is only for the lucky and the strong (They watch the women flocking around Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo cling to him. Akane looks mad.) just remember, in the winter deep beneath the winter snows (Akane rears back apparently to hit Ranma...He has that "No!" look.) lies the seed , that with the sun's love in the spring, becomes the rose. (She grabs and kisses him while punching Ukyou and Shampoo into next week. He is shocked, then reciprocates.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) special thanks to Thomas "Ranma" Cardwell for one of the plot threads of this episode and to everybody else who has sent me comments, complements, and ideas. Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Fourteen--Hentai Havoc! (We see Ryouga-chan and Nabiki in the bathroom. Ryouga-chan is standing in the bathtub fully clothed. Nabiki has a bucket of water and a teapot handy. She pours the hot water on Ryouga-chan who yelps and reverts to Ryouga-kun.) Nabiki: Well that works. Ryouga: And now.. (They pour cold water on him. He turns into P-chan, surrounded by his thoroughly damp clothing. Nabiki pours the rest of the hot water on him. He is now a naked Ryouga. He blushes.) Nabiki: Very nice. (Ryouga blushes more, starts getting dressed) Nabiki: I guess that water Happosai has only works once. Someone must have ripped him off. Ryouga: I won't cry. (Elsewhere, the house is in anarchy. Soun is wandering around yelling:) Soun: My backyard has been cursed! Woe is me! Happosai has once again brought unhapiness on all who know him. (Kasumi is trying to comfort him) Kasumi: Don't worry Daddy. I'm sure Happosai knows how to undo it. (Genma is hiding in a closet) Genma: If Nodoka figures out that Ranko was Ranma all along, I'm dead. (Akane is trying to boil hot water) Akane: Why won't this water boil! (She doesn't notice that she turned the oven on, not the heating coil the teapot is on.) (Nodoka is confronting Ranma-chan) Nodoka: My son, why do you...why... Ranma-chan: (looks miserable) look like Ranko? Nodoka: I, yes. I mean, I've seen you both at the same time, but you look exactly like her after Happosai splashed you with his water. Ranma-chan: Ever notice how Ranko's panda wore glasses like Pop's? (We see Akane frothing with anger at the teapot. The heat still isn't turned on under it.) Akane: Boil! Boil! Boil! Why won't you... (Kasumi and Soun enter the kitchen) Soun: We're doomed. Perverts will flock to my back yard....It's the end of the world for us... Kasumi: Don't exagerate, Daddy. Akane, you haven't turned on the heating coil. Akane: Oops.(blushes) (We see Genma in the closet.) Genma: Maybe I can sneak out, grab Ranma, and we can just lose ourselves for a few decades...That could work. (We see Ryouga and Nabiki head across the living room and into the kitchen.) Ryouga: Are you okay, Mr. Tendo? (Soun is sobbing in his chair. The whole table is wet. Kasumi is trying to dry it faster than he can cry, but it isn't working. The hot water is finally boiling. Akane grabs it.) Akane: I'll be back in a minute. Ryouga: Tell Ranma the stuff Happosai has only works once! Akane: It does? Nabiki: We conducted a field test. Someone ripped Happosai off or else he has a lot of this stuff stashed away somewhere. Akane: I'll tell Ranma (We see Ranma-chan and Nadoka now sitting on the back porch.) Ranma-chan:So Pop was afraid you would force us to commit suicide because he promised to make me a manly man or we would both commit seppuku. Nodoka: All this time...(looks dejected) Ranma-chan: I wanted to tell you, suicide or not...but Dad wouldn't let me...but then we thought we had been cured. I don't know if it wore off on Dad yet... Nodoka: I haven't seen any pandas lately. (The back door opens. Akane steps out with a teapot, then sees them talking and hesitates. They hear her and turn around.) Akane: I don't want to disturb you two... Ranma-chan: Thanks for the hot water, Akane. (Takes teapot, pours it on himself.) AHHH!!!! HOT! HOT! (Dances around, but back to male) Nodoka: How long have you known of this, Akane? Akane: Almost as long as I have known him. I met him as a girl, then found out he was really a guy. Nodoka: Did my husband try to hide it from you or... Akane: Mr. Saotome was a panda when I met him. Nodoka: (giggles a little) He showed up as a panda? Ranma: (laughs a bit) Boy were they disappointed when Mr. Saotome and his son turned out to be a panda and a girl! Akane: (smiling) And father only figured it out after he hugged Ranma and felt... Nodoka: It wasn't obvious? (Smiling now) Ranma: And Dad couldn't answer any questions...(laughing) Akane: Because Pandas can't talk! (HA HA Ha) (They all start laughing together. We see Genma in the closet) Genma: Maniacal laughter! I'm in trouble now. (Soun and company in the kitchen still. Soun is now crying a river.) Soun: I can hear them laughing now! (We can hear the laughter from the porch.) Nabiki: Don't cry, Daddy. You're going to ruin the polish on the table. Soun: WAAAHHH!!!!! (Back on the porch) Ranma: So then I put on some glasses and different clothing and told Ryouga I was his fiancee! And he fell for it! (collapses rolling around on the ground. Nodoka and Akane are just about done in by laughter also.) (Back to the kitchen) Ryouga: Where is Mr. Saotome? Soun: That's right. I haven't seen him since this all started. (suddenly calm) Nabiki: He's probably planning on grabbing Ranma now that the secret is out and heading for the hills so he can keep his head. Kasumi: Maybe we should look for him. Soun: Yes! We shall search the house to find him. Nabiki: Ryouga and I will check upstairs; Kasumi and Dad can check downstairs. (We see them tearing up the house--looking in closets, under beds, behind paintings, under floorboards. Genma sits in the downstairs closet as they slowly close in. Finally the door to the closet he is in starts to open.) Kasumi: Hmm. No one in the China closet. This should be locked, though. Soun: Yes. I thought it was locked. Kasumi: I'll remedy that. (We see Genma up by the ceiling of the closet, holding himself up by pressing against the walls with hands and feet.) (The closet is closed and locked. Click. Genma clambers down and discovers he is locked in.) Genma: Trouble. (We see Ranma, Akane, and Nadoka on the back porch. They are sitting in a line with Ranma in the middle. ) Nadoka: So where is your father? Ranma: Either hiding or running for the hills. Nadoka: Get me a bucket of water. Ranma: eh? Nadoka: I know how to bring him out of hiding. (Kasumi comes out on the porch.) Kasumi: Mr. Saotome is still missing. We can't find him anywhere. And the China closet was unlocked, but I don't think anything is missing. Ranma: Did you check the closet ceilings? Kasumi: Ceilings? Your father isn't a bat. Ranma: Watch. (He leaps straight up, then holds himself up between two of the roof supports.) Akane: Kodachi does that sometimes. Ranma: (drops back down) You've probably locked him in the china closet. Nadoka: We can (yawn) let him sleep there. I'm tired. Kasumi: Me too.(Yawn) (Soon everyone has gone to bed. Genma is still in the closet.) Genma: I hate closets. (Time passes. The sun comes up. We see Dr. Tofu's office. Mousse is still paralyzed on the floor. Dr. Tofu comes in.) Dr. Tofu: Such a beautiful...Hey, have you been there all night, Mousse? Mousse: You...left...me...here. Dr. Tofu: (Quickly unparalyzes him and helps him up) I'm sorry. I guess I got distracted. Mousse: You could say that. Dr. Tofu: So, let me show you some of those moves you asked me about yesterday while I wait for today's patients. (A series of quick shots of Mousse under the effect of various pressure points) (We see Mousse moonwalking) Dr. Tofu: This one reverses your motor signals. (We see Mousse walking like an egyptian) Dr. Tofu: This one makes you imitate ancient art. (We see Mousse pirouetting like a ballerina) Dr. Tofu: This one helps you dance. (We see Mousse in a leather jacket on a motorcycle) Dr. Tofu: This one makes you think you're John Travolta in Grease. (We see Mousse tied up in a human knot.) Dr. Tofu: This one will really take someone out of commission. Now to undo it, you just...wait, how do you fix this one? Mousse: urk. Dr. Tofu: Hold on, let me find that book...(starts looking for the book. A patient comes in. It is an old woman.) Aah, Mrs. Tokugawa. Hold on Mousse, let me take care of her, then I'll find that book. Mousse: .... (We cut to the Nekohanten. We look in and see Shampoo, Happosai, and Cologne talking about something. Then we cut to Tsubasa's house. Tsubasa is pacing back and forth disguised as a Turn Left marker.) Tsubasa: Now that Ranma has dumped Ukyou, I can finally make my big move on her. But what should I do? (His house is on a corner of an intersection. The one he is pacing along is one way to the right. The other is two way: House R Tsubasa O One Way ROAD This Way D 2 W A Y A car comes up the road, sees Tsubasa and goes left.) Tusbasa: Perhaps I should buy her flower? A Ring? (Another car goes left. The first one has met an on-coming car and neither can get past each other. A car pulls up behind the on-coming car and honks. A third car sees Tsubasa and goes left.) Tsubasa: Maybe I should cook for her. Of course, I don't cook very well...(A fourth car pulls left. It has to stop almost immediately. Car drivers start honking) Tsubasa: I could write a poem. Yes, that would be good. Haiku, western style, free verse? (Another car tries to turn left, but is now blocking the intersection. Other cars coming both ways on the two-way road start getting stuck. More Honking) Tsubasa: What is it with these honking drivers? No patience. Perhaps I could do a limerick... Driver: You idiots are going the wrong way! Driver 2: You turned left illegally! Driver: There's a marker right over there! Driver 2: You idiot! That's a guy dressed up as a turn left marker! Driver: You're right! Let's get him! (Mob of angry drivers comes after Tsubasa, who takes off running.) Tsubasa: I was just practicing!!!!! (We cut to the Kunou mansion. A bandaged Kunou is sitting in a throne-like chair, looking at pictures, and conferring with Sasuke, the Kunou family ninja) Kunou(Holds pictures of Akane and the pony-tail girl.) Aah, you are both so lovely. But you have betrayed me, Akane. You turn to Ranma instead of me. And you, pony-tail girl. I saw you with Gosunkugi. But I forgive you both! You are too lovely for me to stay angry. Sasuke! Sasuke: (Was standing around with a bored look. Snaps to attention) HAI! Kunou: Did you succeed in locating where the pony-tail girl lives! Sasuke: HAI! Kunou: Finally, I shall learn her true name and win her love! Take me to her, Sasuke. Sasuke: HAI! (They take off) Kodachi: (Drops down from the ceiling) So I shall finally get my revenge on that meddling pony-tail girl who wants Ranma for herself. Lead me to her, brother. Then we shall see which of us is faster...(She sneaks after them.) (We cut to the Tendo Dojo. We see a drowsy Genma sleeping standing up in the China closet. Everyone is quietly standing outside the china closet door smirking. They are all holding several pieces of paper stapled together. Nodoka raises a finger and points to Kasumi.) Kasumi: (obviously trying to act terrified) No, don't make him kill himself! Nabiki: (reading her line) We can't afford to get the carpet cleaned for at least a month. Akane: (Reading her lines) Nabiki! Nodoka: (trying not to laugh) I will pay for cleaning the carpet. Nabiki: (really trying not to laugh) Oh, well, that's okay then. Go right ahead and commit Seppuku, then, Ranma. (Genma starts awake when he hears that. He starts banging on the door trying to get out. Meanwhile, Ukyou is approaching the back of the house with some okonomiyaki.) Ukyou: I really shouldn't be doing this, but I just can't stay away... (She hears from inside:) Ranma: (Reading his lines) Since my cowardly father has fled after failing to make a man of me, I must commit Seppuku to keep the oath he swore when he took me away from my mother. (He is reading a bit mechanically) Ukyou: NO! (Genma is starting to break the door. He looks desperate.) Akane: (getting into it) No, Ranma, don't do it! Soun: (sounds serious, but is smirking) He must show that he keeps the promises his family makes. (Ukyou is now on the porch and reaches the door. She puts down the okonomiyaki and crashes through the door just as Genma breaks the china closet door down. Together they grab Ranma and run out of the house.) Ranma: Hey! (He is trailing paper behind him as he drops the script) (Ukyou scoops the okonomiyaki back up as Genma carries Ranma.) Genma: Foolish Boy! I told you something like this would happen! Ranma: We were just... Ukyou: I can't believe you were actually going to kill yourself when it wasn't even you who made the promise.... Genma: My son puts me to shame...(He cries just a bit) Ukyou: You are so honorable, Ranchan... Ranma: You're making a mistake... (Behind them, we see Nodoka, Akane, Ryouga, Nabiki, Soun and Kasumi emerge from the house. They give chase.) Nabiki: Come back here, you idiots! Genma: (still holding Ranma over his head) Just like old times. Ukyou: Look out for the...(Ranma gets his head bonked on a low flagpole and passes out)...flag. Genma: Perhaps you shall be marrying Ranma after all if Akane was willing to let him kill himself. Ukyou: Oh, Ranchan... (They turn into a side alley. The horde chases after them.) Akane: Ranma! Nodoka: Genma! Soun: Genma, this is all a mistake! Kasumi: You haven't had breakfast yet! Nabiki: Carry me, Ryouga darling. (Ryouga picks her up) Much better. Ryouga: Mr. Saotome, it was just a joke! Genma: Seppuku is no joke! (He and Ukyou dart left round a corner, then left round a second one so they are now heading back the direction they came from, but on a different road. The mob turns at the first intersection, then pauses at the second looking for them. Ryouga spots them leaping onto a rooftop.) Ryouga: They're up there! (points and leaps with Nabiki on his back.) (Akane and Soun leap up after them) Nodoka: (to a obviously tired Kasumi) Time for us to apply a little thought to this business. Running isn't my strongpoint. I have an idea... (We now cut to Happosai, Cologne, and Shampoo creeping across rooftops. Each is holding a Jug of water with a spray nozzle on top, and Happosai has several more in his sack. The ones they are holding look different, like ceramic, not plastic) Happosai: Now remember, Shampoo, it only takes a little of the mouse water you're carrying to get someone. We want to mouse everyone and then take the ones we want. Just don't get it on yourself. (He looks somewhat strained.) Cologne: Are you sure you aren't going to go running off looking for panties in the middle of this? I've seen you get distracted in the middle of battles before. I'm beginning to think that this isn't a good idea. Happosai: (Clearly straining to control himself as he looks back at Shampoo and Cologne, especially Shampoo. A drop of sweat rolls down his forehead.) Deferring pleasure is not easy for me, but I am a master. I...have...self-control. (barely manages to wrench his head away from staring at Shampoo's breasts.) Shampoo: Look! (points at the rapidly approaching Genma and Ukyou. They aren't looking where they are running.) Happosai: They have brought him to us! and the...lovely...Ukyou...(stands and stares) Cologne: Spray them, you idiots! (Cologne and Shampoo try to spray the trio and miss. Ryouga, Nabiki, Akane, and Soun come into view. Genma runs over Happosai, who is just staring at Ukyou in anticipation. Cologne and Shampoo start chasing Genma and Ukyou.) Ryouga: Hey, what are they doing? Akane: (stomping on Happosai as they run past him) Hey, that was Happosai! Soun: They've got some kind of sprayers.... Nabiki: It must have Jhuysenko water in them! Where does he buy that stuff... Akane: We've got to save them! (Happosai gets up and starts chasing after them. The race goes from roof to roof to roof. We cut to a house somewhere below them. A lovely young couple (think mid twenties) is having breakfast together.) Mr. Soup(Think young blackhaired, angular faced Japaneese businessman in suit): Ms. Noodle. Ms. Noodle(Raven haired (long) beauty in a nice striped dress): Yes, Mr. Soup. Mr. Soup: It seems like every time I...(pauses. We hear thumping noises from the roof. He goes over and looks up the skylight. Just sky up there.) We get interrupted. But...Will you...(stops as if expecting something to happen. Nothing does.) Ms. Noodle: What dear? Mr. Soup: (goes over to her) I guess we really won't be disturbed here. Will you marry...(Crash! The skylight breaks as Genma and Ukyou and Ranma (still zonked) drop through it.) Genma: Excuse me! (Runs past them, grabbing a piece of toast off the table with one hand) Thanks for the toast! (tosses a hundred yen coin on the table. Ukyou drops an Okonomiyaki on the table) Ukyou: Sorry about the skylight. Please accept this okonomiyaki as an apology! Our friend's life is in danger (She takes off) Mr. Soup: My skylight... (Wham! Shampoo and Cologne drop down out of the skylight. Shampoo trips and sprays Mr. Soup who becomes a mouse. ) Shampoo: So Sorry! Cologne: Pour hot water on him! (They run out. Ms. Noodle is up on a chair.) Ms. Noodle: I hate mice! Soup-mouse: Eek! (runs around her chair. She jumps up and down.) (Slam! Ryouga, Nabiki, Akane and Soun drop through the hole.) Soun: Excuse me, Ma'am. Have you seen some people come through here? They think that... Ms. Noodle: My boyfriend has been turned into a mouse! Ryouga: That's not so bad... Ms. Noodle: And they wrecked his house, and stole some of our breakfast... Nabiki: That's Mr. Saotome all right. Which way did they go? Ms. Noodle: And they wanted me to boil him! Akane: (picks up the mouse) He's kinda cute. (Happosai drops down and runs past unseen.) Happosai: Ranma-chan, you shall live again! Soun: There goes Happosai! Ryouga: Banzai! (They charge off. Akane still has the mouse. Ms. Noodle chases them. ) Ms. Noodle: Bring back Mr. Soup! (The whole strung out chase winds through traffic, over, under, and between cars. Then they run into a department store.) Genma: Gangway! (Shoppers scatter everywhere. From overhead, we see the various clumps of chasers run everywhich way) Salesman: Can I help...(Wham! Genma runs over him) (He gets up. Now Ryouga and Nabiki are charging towards him) Salesman: No running in the...(They run by. The wind blows his toupee off. He chases after the topee. He almost has it when Happosai runs by and grabs it. He puts it on his own head.) Happosai: Look at me! Hair club for men! I'm not just the president, I'm also...(Rounds a corner. Akane is standing there. He turns, the salesman is charging) Akane: A pervert! (back kicks him to the salesman, who grabs the toupee, stuffs Happosai in a bag and staples it shut. He starts to carry it back to the security station when he sees smoke coming from it. He opens it and one of Happosai's Happo-dai-karin is in it.) Salesman: AHHH!!!!(Boom!) (Elsewhere, Soun runs around a corner; he sees someone who looks like Ukyou step through a door. He runs in without looking at the sign over the door. It says Ladies' dressing room. Moments later he flees with Hangers wrapped around his head and women leaning their head out the door to yell at him.) (We see Nabiki and Ryouga (still carrying her) run through a business supply section. Nabiki is grabbing things off the shelves. ) Nabiki: Might as well take advantage of this trip. I hope I've got enough to pay for all this. Hey, I just spotted Ranma! Over there! (Ryouga turns left at the intersection with the next aisle running east-west) (We see Happosai running gleefully through the women's lingerie section. The women are all running away from him while mice in salesmen uniforms scamper about. ) Happosai: I love department stores! Cologne: (She and Shampoo see Nabiki and Ryouga run across an intersection in front of them.) Shampoo: They leap onto the top of one of the dividers and run along that, now easily spotting Genma and Ukyou circling around to the side enterance) Cologne: (Suddenly, they are face to face with a woman in a security outfit who is about 6'5" She reaches out and grabs Shampoo and Cologne, holding them up in front of her.) Security Woman: What's going on here! This is not a playground. (Shampoo sprays her. She turns into a giant (think three foot long) mouse and drops them. They take off, chased by the mouse, which still has the security hat on its head.) Cologne: . (She clutches her glasses to keep them on as they leap from display to display trying to cut off Genma and Ukyou from the exit.) (We see a young man, about 20 or so, with brown hair, busily comparing earrings in the jewelry department. A helpful sales clerk is helping him decide...) YMan: Well, she really is only two years older than me, but she seems to think of herself as older than she really is, but I don't want anything that says "old woman"... Salesclerk(Female) How about this--(points to a nice crescent moon silver earing with a small red gem in the bottom tip.) YMan: How much does it... (Akane runs up to them. The Mr. Soup-mouse is riding on her shoulder, clinging desperately.) Akane: Have you seen a crazy old man and a girl with a giant spatula run by? The old man is probably carrying my fiancee, a dark haired boy who looks like his mother who I think is around here somewhere....(pause for breath) YMan: They went thataway...(points) Akane: Good. (takes off thataway) Salesclerk: Do you know what she was talking about? YMan: Well, I saw somebody running that way, anyway... (Ms. Noodle runs up) Noodle: Have you seen a girl with a mouse go by here? YMan: Yes(points). Salesclerk: We really get some strange customers here. (Genma and Ukyou round a corner and reach the side enterance...only to be blocked by Cologne and Shampoo. Genma hands Ranma to Ukyou) Genma: Get Ranma out of here! I'll slow them down! (He charges them. They spray him down. Instant Mouse. However, Ukyou polevaults past them with her giant spatula and the Genma-mouse darts between their feet after her. Then Akane reaches the area.) Akane: Ranma! (Shampoo and Cologne spray her, then turn to chase Genma and Ukyou. Akane mouse runs after Genma and Ukyou. Suddenly, Happosai barrels past them, a string of bras in his hands, while a horde of angry women give chase. They tromple over Shampoo. Cologne dodges them by leaping to the top of a dress manikin and waiting for them to go by. Shampoo staggers to her feet. Her glasses have fallen off.) Shampoo: Cologne: (Spray. Cologne is now a mouse. Shampoo puts her glasses on. She sees a mouse with a tiny staff in its hands. She picks it up.) Shampoo: (The mouse wacks her, right as Ryouga and Nabiki run up. They pause, then run past them. Nabiki bends down and grabs Cologne's bottle of mouse-water as they go by. Then Soun runs by. Then Shampoo runs after them, followed by Ms. Noodle.) Shampoo: Who are you? Ms. Noodle: My boyfriend has been turned into a mouse and some wretched children have run off with her...Hey, you and the troll came through there too! It's your fault! (Leaps at Shampoo. Instant Ms. Noodle Mouse, who climbs up Shampoo's leg into her clothing and starts biting her.) (We now see strung out along the road, running in this order--Ukyou(carrying Ranma and the Genma-Mouse), Akane-mouse and Mr. Soup mouse, Happosai, a horde of angry women, Ryouga and Nabiki, Soun, Shampoo(carrying Cologne-mouse and bitten by Ms. Noodle Mouse). We see Shampoo gaining on Soun. She runs up along side him.) Soun: Who is...Uh oh. (Instant Mouse. He scampers after her.) (Shampoo is gaining on Ryouga and Nabiki. She laughs to herself. Then she comes up behind them and tries to spray them) Shampoo: Now you are...(No water comes out) Uh oh. Nabiki: (Sprays Shampoo, who becomes a mouse. Ms. Noodle Mouse and Cologne Mouse start pounding on her.) Bye, bye, little mousie. (We see Happosai pass the Akane and Mr. Soup mice. He comes up parallel with Ukyou and leaps onto her shoulders. He makes a deft motion and suddenly is holding her bra without taking her shirt off. Ukyou is stunned, then punches him with her free hand. He flies back into the mob of women, who pummel him as he jumps about fondling and trying to crawl up their skirts.) Ukyou: One less problem. Genma-mouse: Skweek! (The pack has fallen away. The mice are losing ground. Akane-mouse manages to stow away on Ryouga's leg. Nabiki spots her and picks her up. We see now that the Akane-mouse has fur the color of her hair.) Nabiki: Hi, sis. (Puts Akane in her shirt pocket.) (Nabiki and Ryouga are gaining on Ukyou.) Nabiki: It was all a joke! A Joke! Ranma doesn't have to commit suicide! We were just trying to goad Mr. Saotome! Genma-Mouse: Skwee! Ryouga: Didn't Ranma tell you that? Ukyou: He said nothing of the kind! Nabiki: What? Ukyou: I won't let you kill him! (Throws a spatula at the spray bottle Ryouga and Nabiki are carrying. It breaks and wets them down. Two more mice. Ukyou takes off.) (Soon we see Ukyou up on a rooftop looking at the Tendo Dojo and house.) Ukyou: I've got to get Ranma's stuff. I hope he wakes up soon. He's got a nasty bruise. I think everyone is strung out across town as a mouse now except for me and Mousse, and he wasn't there. I should easily be able to get in. (She slips into the kitchen. There is a plate of fresh cookies on the table. It is labeled, "Genma--don't eat these until dinner.") Ukyou: Those look good. (Genma-mouse leaps out and starts nibbling on a cookie. He passes out. Ukyou picks him up.) Ukyou: Hmm. A trap. (Grabs a bag, puts cookies in bag) These might be useful. Time to head for Ranma's room. (She creeps across the house and upstairs. As she enters Ranma's room, a door swings open into the hall. ) Nodoka: (Nodoka and Kasumi step out) It must be Genma Ukyou: (In room) Hmm. Come on, wake up, Ranma (shakes him) Kasumi: Let me handle this. Genma must have passed out downstairs after eating the cookies. (Nodoka heads downstairs) (Kasumi walks into Ranma's room. Ukyou is shaking Ranma, who is lying on his futon.) Kasumi: Let me see him. Ukyou: (Instant fighting stance) Get back from him. Kasumi: Can you really see me as a killer? Ukyou: well (Kasumi hands her a copy of the script everyone was reading from when they began staging the joke earlier) (Ukyou reads, then looks up to Kasumi) Ukyou: You scripted... Kasumi: It was intended to be a practical joke. You didn't really think Mrs. Saotome would make her son and husband commit suicide? Ukyou: Mr. Saotome thought that... Kasumi: Akane would never have allowed it, and neither would I. Or daddy. Ukyou: I thought that... Kasumi: We'd better take him to Dr. Tofu. His head looks pretty bad... (Ukyou pulls the unconscious Genma-mouse out) Ukyou: I'll take him. Why don't you take Mr. Saotome to Mrs. Saotome and get him some hot water. You'll need a lot. Just about everyone is strung out all over town as a mouse. I think all of Happosai's mouse water is gone. He's still got Panda, girl, and permanent water. Kasumi: Luckily, we have more teapots now than when Ranma first came here. (We see Ukyou carrying Ranma to Dr. Tofu's place. Ranma begins to stir.) Ranma: Ucchan...(still weakly spoken) Ukyou: Ranma! Ranma: It was a joke, Ucchan....Mom wasn't that angry... Ukyou: (a bit sad) I know. Kasumi explained it all. Ranma: (just before clonking out again) Thank you for trying to save me, though... (She takes Ranma into Dr. Tofu's. Mousse is there, practicing poking pressure points on Betty-chan. Dr. Tofu comes over to her.) Dr. Tofu: Ran into a flagpole? Ukyou: How did you know? Dr. Tofu: Just a lucky guess. (Puts Ranma on the table, pokes several points on his body, then puts his hands on the bruise for a while and concentrates. The bruise goes down some. He then puts some ice in a plastic bag and gives it to the now conscious Ranma.) Ukyou: Are you okay, Ranma? Ranma: You look like a boy I knew when I was little. Ukyou: Ranma? Dr. Tofu: Do you know me? Ranma: No. Mousse: And me? Ranma: Not a clue Dr. Tofu: Amnesia! Ukyou: Oh, Ranma, have you really forgotten who I am?(runs over to him) Ranma: You really remind me of a boy named Kuonji Ukyou I knew when I was little. (grins a little) Ukyou: That's me. I was really a girl, not a boy. Your father engaged you to me. Mousse: Do you remember Shampoo? Ranma: Yes. I wash my hair with it every day. (Everyone giggles a bit) Dr. Tofu: What about your fiancee, Akane? Ranma: Doesn't ring any bells(grins more) Mousse: It really is amnesia. Ukyou: Why are you grinning? Ranma: (breaks out laughing) You really thought I had amnesia! HA HA HA HA! (Everyone glares) Ranma: So where is everyone? (We see a stream of mice entering the Tendo bathroom and emerging in bathrobes as various people--Akane, Mr. Soup, Cologne, Ryouga, Shampoo, Ms. Noodle, Genma, Nabiki, and others...) (Scene then cuts to the roof of Gosunkugi's house. Kunou and Sasuke are on the roof. We see Kodachi lurking in a nearby tree top) Sasuke: He lives in the room right below us. All we have to do is hang off the roof and swing in. Kunou: No problem. (Sasuke swings off the edge of the roof and into Gosunkugi's room. When Kunou tries, the roof tile breaks and he plummets two stories to the ground. Wham!) Kodachi: You are a fool, brother. (Inside the room, Gosunkugi and Akemi are doing homework. The walls now have on them various anime posters and a photo of Gosunkugi and Akemi standing in front of the house holding hands. When Sasuke comes in, they look up. Sasuke looks at Akemi. She looks like a red-haired Akane right now.) Sasuke: Hey, you're not the pony-tail girl! Akemi: And who are you, a refugee from Yotoden? (We see Kunou fall past the window) Gosunkugi: Was that Sempai Kunou? Sasuke: (turns around) Master Kunou! (Akemi kicks Sasuke out the window.) Sasuke: AAHHHH!!!(falls out of sight) Gosunkugi: What was that about? Akemi: I have no idea, but if Kunou has something to do with it... Gosunkugi: He must think the pony-tail girl lives here. Akemi: But the pony-tail girl is...(We see a grappling hook with rope shoot up and hook on the window sill. Then we hear climbing sounds. Akemi goes over and unhooks it without looking. More falling noises) Gosunkugi: Kunou doesn't know that. He is really dim-witted sometimes. Akemi: Well, back to homework.(They work a little, then there is a knock at the door. Akemi opens it. A battered Kunou and Sasuke are standing there.) Kunou: Where is the pony-tail girl? I have come to profess my love for her. Gosunkugi: I live here, not the pony-tail girl. Kunou: Sasuke, didn't you tell me that she lived here. Sasuke: I saw her come in here. Akemi: (sigh) She left already. She lives at the Nekohanten with Shampoo and Cologne. Kunou: She does? Sasuke: Are you sure about that? Akemi: She told me that anyway. (Kodachi is watching from outside.) Kodachi: My brother is going to fall for that stupid story. (Kunou scratches his head.) Kunou: Then off the the Nekohanten we go! (They leave) Kodachi: Hmm. The girl is a wise one. (She lashes out with a ribbon and pulls Gosunkugi out the window into the tree with her.) Kodachi: So where are you really hiding the pony-tail girl? Gosunkugi: She's never been here in her entire life. Kodachi: Sasuke isn't quite that stupid. If he saw her, he saw her. Akemi: (realizes Gosunkugi is missing) Gosunkugi? Kodachi: Don't answer her call. (Holds a mallet over Gosunkugi) Akemi: Darling, where are you? (looks around room, then outside. Sees Kodachi and Gosunkugi in the tree.) What are you doing, Kodachi? Kodachi: (Carefully looks at Akemi) You look like Akane. Akemi: Is this supposed to be a surprise or just a brilliant deduction? Kodachi: Do not taunt me. Akemi: Get away from my boyfriend or I shall thrash you. Kodachi: HA HA HA HA! I haven't had a good laugh yet, today. You two are up to something. What is your connection with the pony-tail girl? Akemi: She's my sister. Gosunkugi(blinks for a moment, then says) She doesn't live here. Akemi: Yes, I do. Gosunkugi: I meant the pony-tail girl. Akemi: oh. Kodachi: So where is she? Akemi: I'm right here. Kodachi: The pony-tail girl! Not you! Akemi: She went home. Kodachi: Where is her home? Gosunkugi: She won't tell us. Kodachi: You two are making my head hurt. (We see a big meal at the Tendo Dojo. All the ex-mice are busily eating: Ryouga, Ranma, Soun, Akane, Kasumi, Nodoka, Genma, Nabiki, and Ukyou. Everyone looks exhausted except Ranma, Nodoka, and Kasumi.) Kasumi: Did everyone get some good exercise out of this? Akane: More than enough exercise. Ranma: I slept through most of it. My head still hurts, though. Ukyou: Dr. Tofu said it will be okay. (Mousse walks in.) Kasumi: Hello, Mousse. Mousse: I have come to announce that tomorrow I intend to do battle for the hand of Shampoo! Nodoka: Her hand wants you to fight something? (looks confused) Mousse: What? Ranma: By the rules of his village, he has to beat her in combat to marry her. Nodoka: How barbaric! Mousse: It is our law. Now with my new knowlege, I shall try once more. This time I will triumph! (Lightning crackles around him as he rears back in triumph!) Kasumi: Not in the house; you'll wreck the furniture. Mousse: Sorry. (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (Start part 15) (We see Mousse on the Tendo roof with Ryouga. They have set up a tent. Right now they are watching the stars and talking.) Ryouga: You really think you can take Shampoo? Mousse: I have learned some new tricks, studying with Dr. Tofu. Ryouga: You really think you're ready this soon? Shouldn't you practice more before you try using them on her? Mousse: I could prepare forever and never be sure that I was ready. If I fail, I will pick myself up and try again. Ryouga: Well, you're brave at least. Mousse: Congratulations on your new love. Ryouga: Uh, thanks.(gets dreamy eyed) Nabiki is wonderful. (starts waving his arms about) Mousse: Hey, be careful. You'll... (Ryouga hits the tent post. The tent falls on them, they get tangled up and start rolling off the roof. ) Ryouga:...and she has such lovely eyes...They... (Right off the roof they go. Wheee!) (Roll opening Theme Song: "The Rose" --by Bette Midler Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. (We see Ukyou and Shampoo chasing Ranma) Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your heart to bleed. (We see Shampoo hit Mousse as he tries to hug her and Ryouga watch Akane watch the running Ranma) Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless, aching need. (We see Gosunkugi watching Akane from the rooftop while Kuno and Kodachi leap down at Ranma) I say love, it is a flower and you, it's only seed. (Akane jumps and clobbers Kuno and Kodachi) It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance (Nabiki amusedly looks on) It's the dream afraid of waking who never takes a chance (Mousse runs to Shampoo again while Ryouga hangs back staring sadly at Akane.) It's the one that won't be taken who never learns to give (Nodoka walks up; Genma hides) and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live! (Ranma turns and faces his pursuers) When the Night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, (Mousse, Ryouga, and Gosunkugi sit dejectedly nearby) and it seems that love is only for the lucky and the strong (They watch the women flocking around Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo cling to him. Akane looks mad.) just remember, in the winter deep beneath the winter snows (Akane rears back apparently to hit Ranma...He has that "No!" look.) lies the seed , that with the sun's love in the spring, becomes the rose. (She grabs and kisses him while punching Ukyou and Shampoo into next week. He is shocked, then reciprocates.) (It is morning at Ukyou's Restaurant. Ukyou looks depressed as she heads out with her schoolbooks in hand for school.) Ukyou: I can't let Ranma see me feeling sad like this...He'll feel guilty. (Suddenly, a nearby shrub stands up. It is Tsubasa.) Tsubasa: Ukyou, I'm happy to see you. Ukyou: I'm not in the mood for this, Tsubasa. The answer is... (Tsubasa whips out a bouquet of flowers, with a letter attached.) Tsubasa: These are for you. I'll go away so you aren't late to school. I've got to get to school too. (Sheds the shrub disguise. He is wearing a girl's school uniform underneath. He springs off merrily into the sunrise. Ukyou looks after him, then at the roses.) Ukyou: (very quietly) Thank you, Tsubasa. (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is hard at work, serving the morning crowd. She is wearing her glasses for once. Cologne is cooking like a mad woman.) Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo: Cologne: Shampoo:(thought) (We cut to Fujishima-sensei's History class, currently occupied by Nabiki, Ryouga, Kunou, and their classmates. Class is about to start. Ryouga turns to Kunou) Ryouga: Why doesn't your sister go here if your father is principal here. Kunou: He wanted to keep his perfect record as principal and... Nabiki: So why are you here? (Lots of folk giggle) Kunou: If you were not a woman, I would... (Bell rings. Everyone goes to attention as the class starts and Fujishima-sensei strides in. He is a slightly pudgy but muscular fifty year old man with greying hair. He is wearing a fedora which he takes off and puts on the desk.) Fujishima-sensei: Today we will be discussing the end of the Ashikaga Shogunate and the period of chaos before the Tokugawa Shogunate.The usual view of this period was immortalized in the movie The Seven Samurai. The dating of the period is disputed. While the ending of the period is quite definite, the point at which the Ashikaga shogunate can be said to have broken down is open to question. Hachibara argued in his most recent work... (We see the class. Everyone's eyes are glazing over except for Nabiki, a short, thin brown haired lad named Totahachi Youta, and Kunou, who doesn't seem to understand, but isn't zoning out either. Perhaps it is the pictures of Akane on his desk which keep his mind in motion. Ryouga would be utterly confused, if he was paying any attention. His mind is....elsewhere...) [Fantasy: Ryouga and Nabiki running together laughing through a field of tall grass and flowers. She jumps on his back and starts tickling him. They tumble through the grass, tickling each other. Finally they end up lying admidst the flowers, their faces an inch from each other.} Nabiki: You're so handsome, Ryouga. Ryouga: And I think you're beautiful. Nabiki: Kiss me...(Her face comes closer then...Suddenly it turns into Fujishima-sensei's face. End Fantasy.)] Fujishima-sensei: Are you sleeping in class, Mr. Hibiki? Ryouga: (starts back) No, I was... Fujishima-sensei: Silence! You will not speak until I give you permission. Why were you sleeping in class? (Ryouga sits and stares at him. Fujishima-sensei starts getting impatient.) Fujishima-sensei: Answer ME! (More staring. Fujishima-sensei is starting to froth a bit.) Fujishima-sensei: I DEMAND THAT YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION! Ryouga: (Holds a sign which says:){You didn't give me permission to speak.} Fujishima-sensei: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!(Runs around the room in a circle) Speak! Speak! Speak!! Ryouga: (Another sign:){I wasn't sleeping. You were boring!} Fujishima-sensei: I am not boring! Do you think you could do a better job? Ryouga: {Yes} Fujishima-sensei: Fine! You teach! I am going to go complain to the principal about you! (He storms out. Ryouga goes to the front of the class.) Ryouga: Uh, hi. I'm your new teacher Hibiki Ryouga. Class chants in unison: Hello, Hibiki-sensei! (Many people giggle a bit) Ryouga: Well, ....(Thinks for a minute) Kunou, please come to the front of the class. (Kunou looks confused but comes to the front of the class) Ryouga: Kunou has trained in the style of swordsmanship developed by medieval Samurai. They followed the code of Bushido. Tell us about Bushido, Kunou... Kunou: (stares blankly at Ryouga for a moment, then speaks...) Bushido is the way of the warrior. It demands.... (Cut to Lunch time at Furinkan. Students are milling about talking...) Students: Did you hear about Fujishima-sensei?...He finally went over the edge...Did you see the riot at the department store yesterday?...A New teacher named Hibiki Ryouga is teaching now...Kunou-sempai got an A for his special report on Bushido...I think Kunou is cute...He's a pervert...he is not...I think the new teacher is cute...He looks so young... (Ranma and Akane are sitting under a tree eating lunch. Ranma is wolfing it down. Ukyou joins them, still carrying the flowers Tsubasa gave her.) Akane: Nice flowers. Ukyou: Yeah. (looks wistfully at Ranma, who is lost in his food.) Akane: (looks over at Ranma, cocks an eyebrow) Who gave them to you? Ukyou: Tsubasa. (starts eating) Ranma: ASFJDFKASDF? (His mouth is full) Akane: Don't talk with your mouth full, Ranma. Ranma:qwutoas difj kdfg!(still full) Akane: (sighs) That was nice of him Ukyou: He just gave them to me and left. Akane: That's wierd. Ranma: He didn't even say anything? Ukyou: Just a note. He wants to see me after the big Mousse/Shampoo fight. Akane: That's going to be some fight. Ranma: Nabiki is selling tickets to it. Ukyou: I wasn't aware we needed tickets... Akane: A lot of people weren't aware that they didn't. (Totahachi Youta(A short, thin brown haired lad from Nabiki's class) and Ichiwara Sasami(a short, black haired, slim girl from the same class) pass by.) Totahachi: That was one wierd history class. Ichiwara: That Hibiki Ryouga-sensei is dreamy. (slightly glazed look) Totahachi: You really think so? Ichiwara: Even Nabiki was making googly eyes at him. And she was hitting on him after class. (This conversation catches Ranma, Akane and Ukyou's attention) Ranma: What's this about Hibiki Ryouga? Why are you calling him sensei? Totahachi: Fujishima-sensei got angry and left and made Hibiki Ryouga-sensei our new teacher of history. It was pretty interesting. Ichiwara: (fantasizing of her and Ryouga. She is dressed as a sixteenth century noblewoman and he is a samurai) He is so handsome. And smart. And he actually made history interesting! Akane: I didn't think he knew anything about history. Ukyou: I guess we were wrong. Totahachi: From what I've heard, he's going to teach again tommorrow and the principal is going to come watch him to consider hiring him as a permanent teacher. Ranma: No way! Ichiwara: He can teach me anytime...(floating on air) Totahachi: All the girls in our class have fallen in love with him already. Ranma: (smirks) Nabiki'll love that. Ichiwara: What? Ranma: She's his girlfriend. Ichiwara: Already? This is going to be more of a challenge than I thought. (Runs off) Totahachi: This could get messy when that news gets around. See ya! (takes off) Akane: I'm so happy that Ryouga has done so well here. Ukyou: From delinquent to Teacher in two days. Quite a rise in the world. Ranma: Kunou's dad is just crazy enough to hire him. (Cut to Happosai on the Tendo roof. He is looking down at Genma and Soun, who are playing Shogi. They don't know he is there. He is still hauling his bag of jugs.) Happosai: Plan 1 was ruined, and plan 2. But plan 3 will work! (He is pouring water from one of the jugs into a water balloon. This goes on as he makes a lot of baloons from the different jugs. Then he leans over the roof and throws one at Genma and one at Soun. They are hit, soaked, and turned into pandas. Happosai goes for the second pair of baloons. At this point Nodoka steps outside and Genma and Soun have looked up and see Happosai.) Nodoka: I...hey, what's going on here? (Nodoka runs over to Genma and accidentally gets in the way of the baloon aimed at him. Nothing happens. Soun dodges the one thrown at him.) Nodoka: AAHHHH!!! (realizes) Nothing happened! Happosai: You got in the way! Nodoka: What are you trying to do, you old Lech! (Genma-panda lifts her and runs. Soun-panda follows afterward.) Happosai: I should have made more permanent water balloons...I can't waste it on the panda...Now that they have fled, I can lie in wait for Ranma and Ryouga and have even more women to have fun with. And with the permanent water, they'll be that way...forever! HA HA HA HA HA! (scene cuts to the school. The bell rings and hordes of students pour out of the building. Then the scene cuts to the Nekohanten. A delivery bicycle is in front. Inside a Special Delivery deliveryman is handing a package to Cologne. The return address on it is from Cologne's neice Hairspray back at the village of the Amazons.) Cologne: < A package from my niece! What a pleasant surprise.> Shampoo: (The deliveryman leaves. Cologne rips open the package. There are two dozen cookies, with a note on top. Under the note are two pictures. Cologne starts munching on cookies and looking at the pictures.) Cologne: Shampoo: (Too late. Cologne has eaten them and is looking at the pictures. One of them is of Happosai. The other one is also a picture of Happosai. Cologne's eyes are starting to glaze over.) Cologne:(She starts, then straightens up as much as she can and bounces off on her staff yelling) Shampoo: (Nope. She's gone. She goes bouncing off towards the Tendo Dojo.> Shampoo: (We cut to the Tendo Dojo. Kasumi is cleaning up the kitchen and preparing dinner. She gets some cookies out of the oven and puts them on a plate.) Kasumi: Since Everyone is going to see the marital duel, I bet they'll want something to snack on. Hmmm...(She sees four cookies on the counter by the stove.) Kasumi: Mousse must have left these behind. I'll just put them with these others I just made. (Sniffs one) These smell good. I never knew Mousse could cook. (Scene cuts to the park. We see a big fighting ring has been set up. The area is roped off and Nabiki is selling seats in the area where she has set up some folding chairs. A big, somewhat confused crowd is gathering.) Nabiki: (Working the crowd). Come on! A duel for the right to marry the lovely Shampoo! By her village law, no man can marry her who does not first defeat her in battle! Only 1000 yen for a seat at the fight of the century! (People are almost fighting for seats. Nabiki is raking in the cash. We see Dr. Tofu, Gosunkugi, Akemi, Senou-Sensei, Ayukawa-Sensei, the Principal, Ranma, Akane, Kunou, misc. of Ranma and Akane's classmates,Soun, Nodoka, Genma, and Ryouga in the crowd. Ukyou is busily selling Okonomiyaki to the masses. We notice a suspicious looking TURN LEFT marker crawling under the ropes while Nabiki's back is turned.) Ranma: Even if Mousse wins, Cologne won't let him marry her. Akane: He seemed to think he wouldn't have to worry about that. (Ryouga steps out on the stage) Ryouga: The Duel is about to begin. In that corner(Gestures to an empty corner. Suddenly smoke rises from the corner and Mousse steps out of the smoke.) Weighing in at 180 pounds is Mousse, master of the Art of Hidden Weapons (Mousse bows to the crowd.) Ryouga: And in the other corner (Shampoo suddenly jumps down from the sky on her bicycle. She is wearing her glasses. She bicycles around the stage, then lifts the bike and puts it down over the side.) weighing in at 130 pounds, master of the Bonbori! (Shampoo is holding two Bonbori--those maces with the spheres on the end). They shall fight until one surrenders, passes out, or is thrown out of the ring. If Mousse wins, he shall finally gain the right to marry Shampoo. That is their village law! Anonymous voice in the crowd: What does she get if she wins? Ryouga: Uh, well...(scratches his head) Shampoo: Mousse will go away and leave me alone! Mousse: I will not lose, my love. Shampoo: I am not your love! (She charges, then dodges left to avoid his effort to grab her right bonbori with a hand on a chain. As she passes him, she bangs him in the back of the leg with the right bonbori. He rolls forward and jumps back to his feet. Ryouga runs out of the ring. Having filled the seats, Nabiki is now selling Sake and popcorn.) Shampoo: (She circles warily, waiting for his next move.) Mousse: ( He leaps high and over her. She spins to face his landing point and he drops a rock on her head as he passes. While she staggers, he lashes out with his metal "claws" and knocks her left bonbori out of her hands.) Shampoo: (She lashes out with her right bonbori, striking him, then rolls left to get her other bonbori. She gets it, but he succeeds in wrapping a chain around her legs so they are tied together.) (Shampoo breaks the chain with her bonbori, but now Mousse is over her. He strikes her left arm with a finger as she leaps to her feet. Her left arm goes limp and drops the bonbori.) Shampoo: (She goes on the attack, striking low, high, low, middle, high, low...with her functional arm and lashing out with kicks. She presses Mousse back as he parries her blows. Finally, he leaps high as she swings and lands behind her and boxes her ears. Then he steps back and lets her spin around.) Mousse: Shampoo: (She presses the attack again, forcing him back. He is barely able to fend off her assaults.) (In the Audience) Ranma: How'd he do that? I didn't think he knew any pressure point tricks. Dr. Tofu: I have taught him some moves, but I think he should have waited until he had more time to practice before using them. Akane: I wonder why Cologne isn't here. Ranma: She's up to something. (We see Kasumi reach the edge of the "arena" area with plate of cookies in hand. She is looking for her friends and family.) (On the stage, the battle continues. Shampoo keeps pressing Mousse back, he leaps overher, strikes her in some minor way, asks if she will surrender, is refused, and this process repeats. Shampoo is starting to tire out, Mousse is piling up bruises which are starting to slow him down. ) Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: (She is pressing him back again.) Mousse: Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: (Has Mousse backed into the corner. This time he rushes inside the reach of her arms and hugs her. She batters him rather thoroughly. He holds on.) (In the audience) Ranma: What does that idiot think he's doing? Dr. Tofu: That's a dangerous move. Akane: What is it? Dr. Tofu: The bear hug points move. It requires sustained pressure by all your fingers, but it is quite effective. If you live to finish it. (We see Mousse finally let go. He is reeling from the blows unleashed on him. Shampoo raises her bonbori to finish him, then staggers and drops it. She can barely stand up.) Shampoo: (stand up, among other things. She falls down. Mousse: Shampoo: (She lies on the ground and repeatedly hits his foot with a bonbori until he leaps back out of range.) Mousse: (He picks her up. She pounds him repeatedly. Her left arm seems functional again. She starts strangling him as he carries her over to the edge of the ring.) (They stagger around, and finally fall. They wrestle in the middle of the ring. Finally, she manages to toss him across the ring. She tries to stand, then falls again.) (In Audience) Dr. Tofu: He hasn't learned how the points interact. The problem with the Bear Hug Points move is that it negates many other moves. Not to mention cojoint effects... (Kasumi has finally spotted Ranma, Akane, Dr. Tofu, Genma, Nodoka, and Soun sitting together. She heads over to them.) (Mousse gets back up and comes over to her.) Mousse: (She bites him on the leg. He hops back howling.) Shampoo: (She pulls his legs out from under him, then crawls on top of him) (Seductive voice. He starts to sweat and look confused. Then she slugs him and starts banging his head on the mat.) <...gullible!> (Mousse stands and tosses her across the ring. Then he throws knives, pinning her to the mat by her clothing. She manages to wriggle one of her bonbori, lying on the mat nearby, into her hands. He closes in. She strikes, ripping her sleeve, but misses him.) (Meanwhile, Kasumi has reached her family and friends in the crowd. They are grabbing cookies from the plate. Ranma and Genma are eating like there is no tommorrow.) Akane: Don't eat like a pig, Ranma! Ranma: I'm not Ryouga. Akane: Sometimes you make no sense. Kasumi: Would you like a cookie, Dr. Tofu? (She tries to hand him one of Mousse's cookies. Dr. Tofu sees her. Glasses fog.) Dr. Tofu: So nice to be seeing you. Imagine meeting you here. Why, you, Kasumi, I so nice to you be seeing. (He is starting to twitch. The cookie starts to crumble in his hands.) Kasumi: Would you like a different cookie. Yours is... Dr. Tofu: No this one is fine from you to be eating yes, I will. (He tries to put it in his mouth, misses, and stuffs it in Ranma's mouth instead. Ranma nearly chokes on it. He starts coughing and bends over with his eyes closed.) Akane: Are you okay, Ranma? I told you you shouldn't eat like a pig! Ranma: Dr. Tofu stuffed it in my mouth, you idiot! Akane: Idiot! I am not! Take it back! Ranma: No! You shouldn't call me a pig! (finally looks up at her) You....You....(Big idiot grin) You're wonderful! Akane: Ranma? (He suddenly jumps over and kisses her. She resists for a moment, then relaxes and makes it mutual. They are lost in lip-lock. Nodoka looks over at them.) Nodoka: Kids. So public these days. Genma: That's my son. (Meanwhile, back in the ring. Mousse and Shampoo are really battered now. Even with her confined to lying on the floor, biting, rolling to dodge, and wrestling, she is giving him a good fight because he just doesn't press his advantage.) Shampoo: (bangs his foot with a bonbori. His feet are starting to swell up by now.) Mousse: (He bends, strikes her right arm this time. It goes limp, but she suddenly lashes up and wraps her legs around his neck. They lock up.) (He stands up with her hanging with one arm limp from his neck. He staggers around. Her still functional left arm pounds on his leg.) (Back in the Audience, Kasumi tries to give Dr. Tofu another cookie. This one of hers ends up in the mouth of some random crowd member.) Random Guy: Hey! (Cookie in mouth) AADKFAJDK(Finishes chewing) Nice cookie. May I have another? Kasumi: Yes. (Hands him one of Mousse's cookies. He eats it, then stares at her.) Random Guy: You...You...are so beautiful! (Stands and jumps at her. She sidesteps. the guy crashes into the crowd.) Kasumi: Oh my. (The guy gets up. He runs at Kasumi, but Tofu gets in the way trying to come over to Kasumi. The guy keeps trying to get past Tofu, but he is twitching around and trying to ask Kasumi for another cookie. He starts pulling out the hair of the Random Infatuated Guy) Dr. Tofu: May I a cookie to have from you, Ka..Ka...Kasumi? Kasumi: Why yes. (Nabiki has come over and is examining the cookie plate.) Nabiki: Some of these are aphrodesiac. But which ones? (Back in the arena, Mousse and Shampoo are staggering around. He is turning blue. She is getting red in the face. Finally, he falls to his knees, bonking her on the head. He keeps trying to pull her legs off his neck. It isn't working. Finally, they both fall down. She manages to briefly sit up, then falls back down. Her left arm grabs a bonbori and smacks him in the head. He disarms her, then says...) Mousse: Shampoo: (She manages to bonk him again. He strikes the bonbori from her hands, then manages to stand up and stagger over to the arena edge. She is now hanging over the edge, but her legs are still locked around his neck. She tries to cling to a rope. He is almost out of it. Finally, he slips his head out from between her legs and she falls from the arena. He staggers and nearly passes out. Shampoo howls as she strikes the ground.) Ryouga: (springs into the ring.) The Winnah! Mousse! Shampoo: (passes out.) (We see Happosai running towards the arena, bag of jugs in hand. Cologne is chasing him. Happosai looks desperate.) Happosai: She's gone mad! Cologne: Dearest Happy! Come back to me! (Happosai digs in the bag and pulls out the panda water. He throws it at her. She turns into a tiny wrinkled panda, still hopping along with her staff.) Happosai: That didn't help. (He leaps into the crowd, running on people's heads. The Cologne-Panda follows him.) Nodoka: What an ugly panda. Genma: Panda? Where? (Sees C. and H.) He's back! Run! (Grabs Nodoka and Runs. Everyone starts to scatter as he barrels through the mob. Nabiki is still looking at the plate of cookies. Genma runs over the Random Infatuated Guy, who ends up pinned under a chair reaching for Kasumi. Dr. Tofu eats the cookie he got from Kasumi and she just stands smiling at him as the crowd goes wild around her.Ranma and Akane necking on a chair also ignore the now rioting crowd.) Happosai: Try 2. (He somehow has gotten ahold of a Bra. He uses it as a sling for another vial of water. It hits Cologne who turns into a much younger version of herself. She is still small, but she now looks like she did when she was sixteen (girl water). Happosai looks at her and drools. ) YES! (leaps into her arms) Cologne: Oh, Happy. Happosai: Now this I like. (He digs for another vial, then sees Soun standing holding the last vial from the bag.) Soun: I can't let you cause anymore trouble. ( He throws the vial far away into a wall. It breaks and makes the wall wet.) Happosai: You idiot! That was the permanent water! I could have had all my beautiful women forever! Soun: What? Happosai: Permanent water locks you in your current state forever! Now the Wall will be a wall forever! I could have made my now beautiful Cologne-chan this way forever! Soun: Or it could have fixed Ranma in male form? Happosai: Yes, but I prefer Ranma-chan! (Soun slugs him into next week. Cologne chases off after Happosai.) (Nabiki picks out some of the cookies. One of them is one of Mousse's cookies. She goes over to Ryouga.) Nabiki: Eat these one at a time, darling. Ryouga: Okay. (Munch. Munch. When he gets to Mousse's cookie...) You...I...(Smooch city. Nabiki drops the rest of the cookies and kisses away.) (Meanwhile, Kasumi recovers the cookies and starts taking Dr. Tofu home before he causes any more damage. The crowd is dispersing. Mousse picks up the unconscious Shampoo and takes her home. Ranma and Akane are still smooching. Genma is far off carrying Nodoka. Hinako-sensei is talking with Soun. We see Gosunkugi and Akemi head out. Ukyou is about to leave, when she notices that there is a Turn Left Marker sneaking up behind her. She spins around, ready for trouble. The turn Left marker breaks open and Tsubasa pops out.) Tsubasa: Bet I had you fooled. Ukyou: That was a rather ridiculous disguise. Tsubasa: I just didn't want to pay Nabiki to see the fight. Ukyou: Are you here to ask me out on a date? Tsubasa: Yes. Ukyou: The answer is no. Tsubasa: But I... Ukyou: (looks over at the still smooching Ranma and Akane, cringes for a moment.) I still love someone else, and it may be a long time before I'm even willing to think about going out on a date with you. Tsubasa: (stares at Ranma) Even when he is kissing another woman... Ukyou: Ranchan is my best friend and what he chooses to do is none of your business! (looks mad) Tsubasa: I.... Ukyou: Take your silly disguises and get out of here! Tsubasa: I can wait. One day you'll love me as I love you. Ukyou: You're living a dream! Tsubasa: No more than you. (Ukyou starts crying) Ukyou: Damn you, Tsubasa! (She runs away crying) Tsubasa: I wish I could comfort her, but I guess I've done enough damage for one day. (looks at Ranma, still lost in kissyface with Akane) (quietly) What power do you have over women, Saotome? You've littered this town with broken hearts, both male and female. I don't know how you can sleep at night. (Slumps off looking glum) (Cut to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is laid out on her bed, looking rather pained. Mousse is sitting in a nearby chair. He looks pretty battered. His neck is still red.) Shampoo: Mousse: (Instantly at her side) Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: Mousse: Shampoo: Mousse: (He gets up and goes to the kitchen.) Shampoo: (after he leaves) (Scene cuts briefly to the young Cologne and Happosai skipping through a field of flowers holding hands as the sun sets. ) Happosai: (Quietly) If I can just keep her away from hot water forever... (Brief cut to Mimi and Aloysius circling over a small city in a forest. There are about fifty spaceships of various kinds circling over the city. Mimi is among the flow of alien traffic. Far below them is a sign that says welcome to Quagmire. Aloysius looks a little dizzy. ) Aloysius: I think I'm going to be ill. Mimi: It isn't my fault there was so much air traffic we had to go into a holding pattern... (Scene cuts to somewhere in the streets of Furinkan. We see Kasumi hurrying back home with the plate of cookies.) Kasumi: I think Mousse must have put something in his cookies. I really should get rid of them. (She rounds a corner and sees Ukyou sitting on a bench by the road sobbing.) Kasumi: (puts down cookies and turns to Ukyou) What's wrong? Ukyou: I...nothing...I just... Kasumi: It was Ranma and Akane kissing wasn't it. Ukyou: No, yes, well... Kasumi: I know this is hard for you. Love so often seems unfair, but Ranma had to choose someone, and whoever he chose, someone else was going to be hurt. Ukyou: I'm not mad at him, I just... Kasumi: It just hurts to see someone else with him. Ukyou: Yes. Kasumi: He still cares about you. He worried so much about how you would take this, but my sister was the one for him. They don't have a perfect relationship, but... Ukyou: They were about to clobber each other before they started kissing. Kasumi: Well, one of Mousse's magic cookies reversed that situation. I need to get rid of them. Ukyou: Magic cookies? Kasumi: He made some magic cookies. I think you become passionate towards the first person you see after you eat them. Some guy in the crowd ate one and suddenly wanted me. (Shudders a bit) Not my type. I think there's still one left, but I can't tell his apart from the ones I made. Ukyou: That cookie could really cause trouble. Kasumi: I don't know whether to save it or throw it away. Ukyou: Thanks for talking with me. I feel better now. Kasumi: So what are you going to do about Ranma? Ukyou: I just have to try to get over this, but I don't know if I ever will. Kasumi: That's what I thought when I was in the eighth grade and had a crush on a tenth grader. After I saw him with Amano Kin, I thought I would die. But I pulled through. I'll tell you all about it. Come with me. (Ukyou gets up and follows her.) (We cut to the park. The two couples have finally finished smooching and are leaving the park heading for the Dojo. Nabiki turns to the rest and says) Nabiki: Interested in a double date tommorrow night. There's this great french restaurant, Ma Maison, I've been wanting to try. You'll have to pay for yourselves of course, but I might be able to make you a loan. Special rates for my...(She becomes aware that Ryouga is turning a little red and Ranma and Akane are starting to giggle.) What's so funny? Akane: Its' just that...(laughing) Ranma: That restaurant...(laughing) Akane: the waitress..(Falls onto Ranma laughing) Nabiki: WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS LAUGHING ABOUT? (looks at Ryouga. Now he is starting to laugh.) Nabiki: You too? What is so funny? Ryouga: That poor waitress is going to faint. Nabiki: Poor waitress? What? Ranma: You'll find out(Ranma, Akane, and Ryouga collapse laughing on the ground). Nabiki: I'm beginning to wonder if this was a good idea. (Back at the dojo, we see Nodoka and Soun in the living room. Genma comes in carrying the plate of Cookies Kasumi made earlier. The last of Mousse's magic cookies is on it.) Genma: MMM. Cookies. (He puts the plate down and Nodoka and Soun each take one. Soun and Genma start playing Shogi while Nodoka watches.) Soun: Our children have finally come together. Genma: It took years of effort, but our families shall be joined.(eats a cookie) Nodoka: My family is finally reunited. Soun: I am happy for you both. Genma: My lovely wife is here to take care of me. (Eats another cookie) Nodoka: You certainly need taking care of (starts on her second cookie) (We hear a shout of BAKA! in the back ground and the sound of running feet.) Nodoka: Not fighting already are they?(Genma snarfs another cookie, finally makes a shogi move.) Soun: We are used to it. The important thing is.... (Suddenly Ranma, Akane, and Ryouga run into the room. They are being chased by a shouting Nabiki.) Nabiki: I demand to know what you people are talking about! I can't stand not being in on a joke! (She chases them upstairs. We hear from far above) Ranma: You have to catch us first!(They all run off upstairs. We hear faint wrestling noises) (Everyone is staring after them. While Nodoka and Soun aren't looking, Genma grabs three more cookies and turns the Shogi board around. Then they turn around) Soun: That was unexpected. (stares puzzedly at the Shogi board) Nodoka: Change comes to everything. (The last cookie is the magic cookie. Kasumi comes in looking concerned.) Kasumi: Have you seen the cookies I made. I need to get rid of them because Mousse's magic cookies got mixed in with them? (Soun is about to bite into the last cookie.) Kasumi: Daddy, don't eat it! Genma: I'll save you. (Grabs the cookie, it slips and flies across the room. We get a shot of the cookie coming at Kasumi as if it was a guided missile with a camera on it. Her mouth opens with surprise. It pops right in. She instinctively bites down. She tries to cough it out, but some of it goes down her throat. She closes her eyes and coughs some more.) Nodoka: (Instantly at Kasumi's side) Are you okay? Kasumi: Help me upstairs. I can't open my eyes until it wears off. Nodoka: Why? Kasumi: I think that the magic cookie makes you fall in love with the first person you see. Nodoka: Well, none of us ate it so you must have ended up with it. Let me help you upstairs. Kasumi: Thank you. (They go upstairs. Nodoka helps her to her bed. Kasumi lies down.) Nodoka: Can I get you anything? Kasumi: Some tea please. Nodoka: (as she leaves) coming right up! (Kasumi gropes around on the table by her bed with her eyes closed until she finds a framed picture there. She pulls it over to her, positions it over her face then opens her eyes. It is a framed picture of Dr. Tofu with a younger Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane. Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane are all looking up at him and smiling. Dr. Tofu faces the viewer with a gentle smile on his face. (Taken about 5 years ago). Kasumi stares at the photo with longing eyes.) Kasumi: One day...my prince will be ready for me. On that day, he'll find me ready for him. (She closes her eyes, holds the picture to her chest, and lies on the bed smiling.) (Scene cuts to Gosunkugi's house. We see him and Akemi heading upstairs to study. His parents watch him go upstairs.) Gosunkugi's Dad: It's so nice to see him acting like a normal kid for once. Gosunkugi's Mom: She's such a nice girl. G's Dad: Finally, he's over that obsession with the Tendo girl. G's Mom: It's probably because she finally formalized her engagement to that Saotome boy. G's Dad: He's such a hooligan. I'm glad our son isn't a hooligan. G's Mom: Now if we could just get him to stop leaving ancient scrolls everywhere... (Cut to Gosunkugi's room. He is staring out the window over his desk, looking at the stars. They seem to shift, and lines form tracing out a face. It looks like Akane's face, but then it fills in with color and we see he is seeing Akemi's face in the stars. She comes up behind him and hugs him. He turns to her.) Akemi: What are you thinking of? Gosunkugi: Dreams gone by and dreams yet to come true. Akemi: What dreams have yet to come true for you? Gosunkugi: You are a dream come true. (He kisses her. Fade to...) (We cut to Ryouga setting up a tent on the roof. Nabiki is poking her head up, obviously standing on her windowsill.) Nabiki: Are you going to sleep up there every night? Ryouga: Until your father gives me permission to sleep in your room. Nabiki: Its' a lot warmer in my bed...room. (Ryouga starts to blush) Nabiki: You are so delightfully naive. Ryouga: I just want to start off on a good foot with your father. Nabiki: Dad likes you. Don't worry. Just come on down after Dad goes to bed. Ryouga: I can't do that. Nabiki: Very well. I'm coming up. Ryouga: (Really blushes) What? (Nabiki scrambles onto the roof in her pajamas. They are white with blue yen signs all over them. She comes over to Ryouga and drags him into the tent.) Nabiki: A good negotiator always knows when to change the terms of negotiation. Ryouga: But this is.... Nabiki: Dad never said I couldn't sleep on the roof. (Into the tent they go) Ryouga: But...(We hear smooching noises. Cut to the park.) (Tsubasa is sitting on a park bench staring up at the sky. He looks miserable. For once he is dressed just as an ordinary guy.) Tsubasa: How will I ever get Ukyou to give up on that Saotome? Does she really hate me? I wish I knew. Am I on just another fool's quest? (He stares up at the sky, looking for guidance. Suddenly, something whirs past his head and sticks into a nearby tree. A note is tied to the spatula now stuck in the tree. He pulls off the note and reads it.) The Note: I'm sorry I yelled at you. You were just trying to help. Come by the restaurant tommorrow and I'll treat you to some free okonomiyaki. Kuonji Ukyou. (Tsubasa takes the note and smiles.) Tsubasa: Hope is reborn. (Cut to Akane's Bedroom) (Akane and Ranma are finishing off studying. Well, Akane is studying, Ranma is trying to balance a pencil on his finger on its point. He is having some success.) Akane: You really should study more dilligently, Ranma. Ranma: This stuff is boring. I'll never use Calculus. Akane: You'll need it for college exams. Ranma: Who needs college? Akane: Your father went to college. Ranma: You can see what it did for him. Akane: I don't want my husband to be a man who flunked his college exams. Ranma: I can't study this. Its' boring! Akane: You always say that about everything! You're just too lazy to study! Ranma: I am not lazy! (starting to get mad) Akane: Your father taught you to be lazy as a profession! Ranma: He did not! Akane: Men are all idiots! (turns her back on Ranma. She looks quite angry) Ranma: We are....(Suddenly sags.) Are we back to this again? Akane: Back to what! (still miffed, but she turns back to face him) Ranma: We always seem to end up fighting. Akane: I...I only got mad because I know you can do better, but you won't try. Ranma: School just isn't my life. It doesn't teach me what I need to know to be me, to be a martial artist. My dad wasn't always a great teacher or father, but he taught me what I need to know. I don't know what I'll do about college. Akane: (Comes over to him) I'll be there for you. Ranma: I...uh..well, me too. Akane: Say it... Ranma: I want to be with...with you for the rest of my life. I l...love you (looks around a little bit paranoidally). Akane: I love you too, Ranma. (They kiss. We fade to black on their kiss.) THE END (Until the sequel) (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (end part 15) This summer I will be writing the sequel to this story, "Furinkan 90210 Senior Summer", which will deal with the Graduation of Kunou and Nabiki, the senior summer of Ranma and Company, and their trip to America. This will eventually be followed by "Ranma 1/2--Year 3", which will deal with the Senior year, graduation, and college entry attempts of Ranma and co. I'll also be working on RanmaPunk2033, my Ranma/BGC story, and my UY/Ranma crossover. I hope you have enjoyed this story. I certainly enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everyone for all the comments that you have sent me. Your support and commentary has kept me going to finish this massive work. If you wish to recieve any future sequels, followups, and other Ranma related Fanfics, just contact me at johnbil@wam.umd.edu and i'll be happy to send it to you by direct e-mail or if you need parts of this story which you have missed. I'd like to extend especial thanks to Takahashi Rumiko--Whose creative Genius we all know and love, without her work, this story would never have been possible and the world would know less laughter than it has. My Parents--For instilling the love of writing, reading,and creating in me from an early age. Your love and support has made me who I am today. Chad Brinkman --Whose encouragement kept me going in the early phase of writing when I couldn't tell if anybody was actually reading this story. Pers Larson (tucker@proxxi.uf.se)--For sending me my first ever piece of fanmail from a foreign country Ranma Cardwell--For his support, comments, ideas, and posting the story on mailing lists that I hadn't been able to get access to. Audra Apke--for her support, comments, and sharing her story ideas with me. Brian R. Gilmore--whose characterization of Mousse in the fanfic Raging Mousse greatly shaped his characterization in this fanfic The nameless soul who secured Ranma 1/2 tapes for Castlecon '93, the event which got me into Ranma 1/2 and Anime in General--You'll never know who I am, but without you, this story would never have been written. The UY mailing List, The Ranma Mailing List, and Rec.Arts.Anime.Stories for enabling me to share my creativity with others. For far too long, the art of storytelling has become commercialized. It is in ways like these that we can spread the new tales of earth to all with ears to hear, so that we might learn to live again. And to Everyone who wrote in with a helpful comment, a "I read it. I liked it" comment, or any form of feedback that let me know that the story was being read. I've gotten mail from the US, Canada, Belgium, France, the UK, and Sweden. I thank you all for taking the time to write me. God bless. You'll all be hearing from me again. RanmaPunk2033 goes into production as soon as I finish my seminar paper. Thanks for reading this! Closing Cast Credits: Starring Saotome Ranma Tendo Akane Kuonji Ukyou Mousse Shampoo Gosunkugi Hikaru Hibiki Ryouga Kunou Tatewaki Kunou Kodachi Introducing Akane-Red/Tendo Ranko/Akemi Fujishima Ito-Sensei Senou-sensei Ayukawa-sensei Featuring Saotome Nodoka Saotome Genma Cologne Happosai Tendo Nabiki Tendo Kasumi Tendo Soun Dr. Ono Tofu Guest Appearances by Woman-sensei/Mimi Masters(Ninja High School) Cat/Aloysius (NHS) Dapper Man/Lupin III(Lupin III) Bearded Man/Jigen(Lupin III) Woman/Fujiko(Lupin III) Ma Maison Restaurant(Maison Ikkoku) Mrs. Ichinose (Maison Ikkoku) A-Ko(Project A-Ko) C-Ko(Project A-Ko) Male Japaneese Teenager/Tenchi(Tenchi Muyou) Black Haired Female Teen/Aeka(TM) Giggly Blonde Woman/Mihoshi(TM) Dignified Old Man/Youshu(TM) Red Head Caucasian/Washuu(TM) Green Hair Woman/Ryouko(TM) Triple Pony-tail Girl/Sasami(TM) Middle Aged Man/Tenchi's Dad(TM) Mr. Soup(Urusei Yatsura) Ms. Noodle(UY) "Young Man"/Yusaku Godai(Maison Ikkoku) And (In order of Appearance) Fruitseller Anonymous Nekohanten Customers Waitress at Ma Maison Movie Theatre Crowd Horde of Kunou Family Ninjas Gosunkugi's Mom Gosunkugi's Dad Disco Crowd Dark Haired Thin Well-Dressed Boy Daisuke Yuka Sayuri Sagurakure Sasuke Guy 1 Guy 2 Guy 3 Guy 4 Guy 56 Mob of Students Miscellaneous spirits The Tendo Mom(in a flashback) Mrs. Tokugawa Kurenei Tsubasa Driver Driver 2 Mob of Angry Drivers Salesman Security Woman Sales Clerk Student Mob from Nabiki, Kunou, and Ryouga's Class Totahachi Youta Ichiwara Sasami The Principal random Guy Ninomiya Hinako Author's post script or "The Making of Putting Your Heart in the Right Place". Well, this story grew out of control from its original humble beginnings as a story about Gosunkugi trying to learn how to do magic. After reading many fanfics, I felt inspired to create one of my own. I decided to pick a relatively minor character to take center stage so that I would have more flexibility and be more able to avoid any major continuity screwups. I picked Gosunkugi. His pursuit of Akane was a reminder of my own disasterous pursuit of a girl in high school who only had eyes for someone else. The original concept was that Gosunkugi would try to help everyone with his magic, the magic he did would increasingly go wrong leading to a state of anarchy, and then his sensei would have to come in and pick up the pieces. However, after writing part 1, I decided rather to change the focus to a study of Gosunkugi--why he wants Akane, why he adopted the tactics he uses, and how his desires might be fulfilled. The story took a turn in another direction when I started really thinking about how Gosunkugi might use his magic to help people and the repercussions that those events might have. The two critical elements in reshaping the tale were the decision to have Gosunkugi try to cure Ranma's curse, and the transferral of Mousse's blindness to Shampoo. These turned the story into a much more broadly focused tale. I have my own theory about why all the "cures" for Ranma never work out(besides the obvious one that it is a major plot thread, not likely to be resolved until the series' end if at all), and I have tried to hint at that without blatantly stating it through the story. More of this will be developed in my hopefully-soon to come sequels to this epic. Ranma's curse has helped him dodge many problems, and its temporary removal forces him to finally face the things he has dodged so long--like his love for Akane. But the profession of love is not the end of the story. Ranma and Akane have a long way to go before they are ready for marriage, or even able to get through a week without a major squabble. "I Love You" is only the beginning of the life long process of perfecting their relationship. And the fat lady hasn't sung on that yet. I also wanted to explore the relationship and Character of Mousse and Shampoo. In the end, they're still going round and round the mulberry bush, but I hope they have learned something from the experience. They are more alike than perhaps either of them would like to believe. In case anyone is wondering, the love cookies are not permanent, just as the water Happosai was using is not permanent. Cologne will be seeking revenge. But just once I wanted to give them a "happy" ending. The figure of Kasumi came much more to the fore than I originally planned. For the most part, like her would-be love, Dr. Tofu, she is a background and support figure. But I have played up her role in this, to show the major contrast between her and the other characters--she is largely at peace with herself and the world. Kasumi is not a saint, but she has a greater acceptance of her role in life and a greater patience than any of the other characters. It can be argued whether Kasumi actually feels for Dr. Tofu the way he feels for her, but I have chosen to assume that she does, but is waiting for him to be ready for her. Kasumi knows more than she tells. Yes, the coming of Akemi was influenced by Video Girl Ai. However the basic idea for her comes from the game Over the Edge, where I got the idea of Tulpas. She was not part of the original story concept, but was created in a burst of inspiration during the creation of part 9. She will be continuing as an important character in the followups to this work. I didn't get as much into Gosunkugi's head as I wanted to in this work, but I feel like he has grown some in this story. He'll also be playing an important role in the first followup to this story, the Senior Summer series. Pairing Ryouga and Nabiki was one of my most controversial decisions, but I planned ahead to that point. There are a few hints of things to come, but they aren't tremendously obvious. The love water is more or less permanent. The original ecstasy wears off fairly quickly, but the people stay as much in love as anyone ever does. Their relationship is off to a good start, but the seeds of future trouble have been hinted at. I hope this story has given Nabiki's character some more depth beyond her love of money and manipulation of people. I always thought Nabiki would be the least sexually inhibited of the Tendos, so I played it that way. We've just never seen her with any guy she actually cared about. She also has lived her life in the shadow of her more attractive sisters. (You can argue about Akane's attractiveness, but we've never seen an army of guys lining up for a chance to date Nabiki). I wasn't so successful in deepening Ryouga, but I certainly enjoyed creating some of those classic Ryouga fantasy sequences. The final reunion of Nodoka with her husband and son has been hailed by several of those who have written in as their favorite aspect of the story. It was one of my favorites too. I don't know much about her, so I have proabably butchered her character entirely, but I tried the best I could. Genma was fun to write, because he is such a bozo. A loveable bozo, but a bozo. In many ways, Ranma is more mature than his father. In interpreting Nodoka, I tried to make it believable that she might have married this strange man, Saotome Genma, and been willing to wait for him. But her patience is running out, and I tried to show that too. Writing Ukyou was a challenge. Unlike most of the active competitors for Ranma's hand, she isn't willing to just run over everyone in her way. She isn't willing to coerce Ranma (well not too much) to get him. I played her as Ranma's best friend. Even with him now attached to Akane openly, she will still stand by him as best she can, and he is perhaps even more likely to rely on her as his best friend now that it isn't a matter of romance anymore. (At least in his opinion). This will be hard for her, but I see them as both able to work it out in the end. Try as I might, I couldn't work out an entirely happy ending for her. She's resillient, and the game isn't entirely over yet. She still isn't willing to try Tsubasa, but at least he can hope. And he will.(hope that is) Kunou and Kodachi were fun to write. They are both gleefully maniacal deviants, and I tried to give them a chance to show as many of their quirks as I could. They will still be trying to achieve their goals in future stories, over the bodies of as many of their enemies as possible. I did enjoy giving Kunou one moment of dignity in the history class when he was finally allowed to put his skills to use(Because Ryouga understands what it is to be a martial artist and Fujishima-sensei does not) Fujishima-sensei will be back in future stories. He was too much fun to get rid of. But Ryouga will be taking over his new class. The "brilliant" principal has a clever plan for Fujishima-sensei's new class... I enjoyed writing Soun, but he definitely plays second bannana to Genma in this story. Hopefully, I will be able to expand on him in the future, but not this time around. I want to delve more into he and Genma's past and the past of his family. If anyone knows how he and Genma ended up under Happosai's tutelage, I'd appreciate the information. There will be followups to this story, but I'll be writing my RanmaPunk 2033 BGC/Ranma crossover first, and working on my UY/Ranma crossover series. The sequels will be Furinkan 90210 Senior Summer and Ranma1/2--year 3 (the senior year of Ranma and Co.). Furinkan 90210 will pick up where this story left off through to Nabiki's departure for college. Ranma1/2--Year 3 will cover from that to Ranma and Akane and Co.'s departure for college. I have vague plans for college stories, but that will be sometime in the far future. I'll worry when I get there. If you want to get on my list of people to mail these stories directly to, want to create a sequel to this stirring tale, or write something for my UY/Ranma crossover universe, or want to comment on this story, or just need someone to send hate mail to when you get bored, you can reach me at johnbil@wam.umd.edu. Thanks for reading this. I hope you liked it. John Biles Proud to call himself still alive the only man to fly a Gundam Blindfolded Shinobu's secret lover Historian for Hire Writer at Large johnbil@wam.umd.edu