JOHN BILES (johnbil@wam.umd.edu) Subject: Ranma FanFic part 1 Status: RO Ranma 1/2: Putting Your Heart in the Right Place 1-5 Hey, I've been working on a Ranma Fan Fic for some time now. Thought I'd post it to the list to see if I can get any comments. I've broken it up into its component parts in each message. Please e-mail me at johnbil@wam.umd.edu with comments or post them to the list. [Screen opens on an overhead view of a city from about 200 feet up. It could be almost any city in Japan, although this is just one piece of it. Our view dives down towards one of the streets where a young Japaneese man is drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Those around him ignore him, stepping around him with a muttered insult or two. We are still too high up to hear more than the murmer of voices and the sounds of the city. He stands admidst his strange chalk scrawls holding a bell which he begins to ring while apparently dancing about and saying something. Our point of view dives towards him as the chalk bursts into flame setting his pants on fire. He screams, rolls about and dives into a water barrel, knocking it over onto a nearby fruitseller who begins to curse. We get closer and see the fruitseller pelting the young man with fruit as he runs away. It is Gosunkugi.] Gosunkugi: Another failed ritual? I don't understand. The book guaranteed it would work... The book! Where is it? [He looks about and sees the fruitseller toss a large scroll into a passing garbage truck.] Gosunkugi: No... [The garbage truck turns the corner out of sight. Gosunkugi continues to stare after it. His back is to the viewer. Then from behind him, a shadow falls across the sidewalk. It is the shadow of a woman in a dress with long hair and a broom in her hands. Next to her shadow is that of a cat licking its front right paw. The woman speaks.] Woman: So you think you are a wizard? [Gosunkugi turns around. We still can't see who he is talking to] Gosunkugi: I...No...Maybe...Well...Yes. I am. Who are you to ask a question of a wizard, Gaijin? Woman: Then why does your magic never work, Gosunkuki? Gosunkugi: I don't...How did you know my name? Woman: I am a true witch as you would know if you were a true wizard. Do you want to spend the rest of your life failing at magic, or do you want to learn the right way to do it? I warn you that it is not easy. Gosunkugi:[Staring with open eyes]. I...I..Well...Uh.. Woman: An answer please. Gosunkugi: Yes! I want to learn the secret of Magic! Woman: Then we shall begin at once... Title credits roll: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part One: The secret of Magic [Scene cuts to the steeply sloped roof of the Tendo dojo. We can see Gosunkugi and the shadow of the woman and her cat again. They are looking down on the backyard of the dojo, where Ranma-kun and Ryoga are fighting at the edge of the pond.] Gosunkugi: Why are we up here, sensei? I don't see the connection between them and magic. Ranma: ROARING LION BULLET! [A blast of energy strikes Ryoga, toppling him into the pond.] Woman-sensei: What was that, then? Gosunkugi: That was...That was..It..magic? Martial Arts is magic? I'm going to have to learn martial arts? Woman-sensei: Did I say that? Gosunkugi: Uh...no. [While Gosunkugi is facing his sensei, we see P-chan emerge from the pond. Ranma begins chasing P-chan] Woman-sensei: Magic comes in many forms. No user of magic is exactly like every other user. But the most important thing is why that person does magic. Why do you do magic, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi:I...[turns a little red]...to win the love of Tendo Akane. Woman-sensei: Why do you need to use magic for that? Why not profess your love to her directly? Gosunkugi{now beet red]: I...She...She is engaged to Saotome Ranma. I...we...she...uh... Woman-sensei: Is it right to force a woman to love you with magic? Gosunkugi [beet red, and apparently shrunk to about 4 foot tall]: I...well...[still shrinking]...I never wanted to...No. It is not. Woman-sensei: And your rituals have never worked at all... Gosunkugi[starting to revert to normal size]I...No, they never work right. I don't...{sudden start, with "ah ha!" look on face]Are you saying that there is a connection? Magic for selfish ends never works? But what about evil sorcerors? Woman-sensei: No. [We see her shadow shudder. The cat suddenly seems more attentive]. Magic that you believe is wrong never works. You do not truly believe in the rightness of what you are doing. That is why you fail. [Below, we see Akane emerge from the dojo.] Akane: Ranma, no Baka! Stop picking on P-chan! [She starts chasing him.] Gosunkugi: Then there is no way for me to know Akane's love... Woman-sensei: I didn't say that, but there are many better uses for magic than seducing women! Do you wish to be a sorceror or a seducer? Gosunkugi: I...yes, I do want to be a real wizard. I...What must I do? [We hear a rattling sound. Perhaps something is coming up the side of the building?] Woman-sensei: Magic is a matter of heart and will. You must both want something to happen and approve of its happening. If you believe you deserve failure, you will always fail. Come, we must go before they find us here. [we see her shadow standing up. It looks like she is about to ride off on the broom. The cat jumps on behind. ] Well, come on. Gosunkugi[As he steps out of sight] Ah...Okay. Where are we going? Woman-sensei: To find you a good cause to do magic. Then you can learn how to do it the right way, as well as why to do it. [P-chan suddenly runs onto the roof, followed closely by Ranma-kun and Akane. They both stop and look off across the city. We see broom with three tiny figures zipping away] Ranma-kun: That looks like Gosunkugi on that broom over there. Akane: It can't be. His magic never works. [While they are distracted, P-chan jumps into Akane's arms.] End of Part 1 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 2 Status: RO Last time on Ranma1/2: {Yet another of Gosunkugi's rituals has failed, but this time he attracts the attention of a gaijin witch who offers to tell him why he always fails and teach him the secret of real magic. He accepts. Gosunkugi learns that he has suffered from an inability to unite his will to do magic and his belief in the rightness of what he is doing. His new sensei takes him to find a cause in which he can unite will and heart.} {We see a familiar restaurant, the Nekohanten, home to Shampoo and Cologne. From inside we hear the sound of breaking furniture, sqwauks, and clanging metal. The door flies open and a glasses-wearing man is knocked out the door. As he falls, knives, axes, hammers, chains and other weapons scatter everywhere. A woman stands in the doorway with a bucket of water in one hand and a rod ending in a metal sphere in the other. Her face is contorted in contempt. She speaks.} Shampoo : Mousse: Shampoo: {She tosses the bucket of water on him. He rapidly shrinks away to a duck, still wearing the glasses. She turns, strides into the building and slams the door.} {Our perspective pulls back. We now stand behind Gosunkugi, who has witnessed this scene. Once again, his sensei is behind us, casting a shadow on the ground by his side. The cat seems unusually agitated, with its fur up and its tail in the air.} Woman-Sensei: How does seeing that make you feel? Gosunkugi: She is so cruel to him sometimes. Once she even served him duck when he thought he had ordered something else. I can not understand how he can love someone who hates him so. I..I wish I could help him. Woman-Sensei: Perhaps you can. {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Two: New Vision {We see the duck waddling about gathering up its weapons, although where it is putting them is hard to say. It looks up as Gosunkugi approaches it.} Mousse-Duck:Quack? {Gosunkugi bends over and picks him up.} Gosunkugi: Looks like its time for a hot bath for you. Mousse-Duck:Quack! Quack! {Gosunkugi picks up the rest of the duck's weapons. The duck quickly conceals them on himself.} Gosunkugi: Better? Mousse-Duck:Quack. {We see Nabiki across the street, coming out of a restaurant with Kunou. He walks away carrying a bundle of photos. She is counting money. She stares at Gosunkugi carrying the Duck. She can not see from this angle that it is wearing glasses} Nabiki: What is Gosunkugi doing with a duck? He seems to be taking it to some Gaijin and...her...cat. A Gaijin witch? {Quickly she gets out her camera and snaps some pictures.} Nabiki: Somebody will pay me good money for these, although I'm not sure who. {Gosunkugi has reached his sensei.} Gosunkugi: So what do I do now, Sensei? Woman-Sensei: We need access to a kitchen. Gosunkugi: A kitchen? Woman-Sensei: Unless you wish to spend a few years learning to talk to animals and carry around a duck for all that time. Gosunkugi: I know someone who might be willing to help. Woman-Sensei: Lead on. {We notice that her cat has calmed down} Scene cut: {We see the kitchen of the Tendo dojo. Kasumi is cooking. The Panda is trying to sneak off with some food. Ranma-kun enters.} Ranma-kun: Dad. {Panda continues to sneak out, puts up sign:Quiet. I'm busy.Ranma-kun snatches the teapot from the stove and follows him out. When they reach the next room, he pours it on the Panda.} Ranma-kun: Dad, do you know anything about flying brooms? Genma: Flying Brooms? Ranma-kun: Yes, I saw Gosunkugi riding on a flying...{notices Genma is staring blankly at him.} Never mind. Maybe Happosai...Never mind that too. I'll go ask Doctor Tofu. {He leaves. Genma begins eating his stolen food contentedly} Scene shift: {We see another familiar restaurant-Ukyou's. Gosunkugi is in the kitchen with Ukyou. He is pouring the water on Mousse. Mousse reverts to normal. He scampers embarrasedly behind a counter and gets dressed.} Gosunkugi: Thanks for the hot water, Ukyou. Ukyou: No problem. I have learned to always keep some hot water ready for my friends. {She turns to face the still unseen sensei.} How did you know he needed hot water to turn back? Woman-sensei: What other curse but Jhuysenko could it have been? I have studied many curses and their cures. Ukyou: I..Could..Is there a cure for the Jhuysenko curse besides finding another Jhuysenko pool to fall into? Woman-sensei: There are many cures, but most are only temporary. For this curse, you must find your own cure. {Mousse gets up from behind the counter and bows to Woman-sensei.} Mousse: I thank you, whoever you are for helping me. It is hard for me to get to hot water as a duck. Can I help you in any way? Woman-Sensei: I am here to advise my student, Gosunkugi. He has found it in his heart to help you with your problem. Mousse: He can cure my sight so that I might be able to truly win the love of Shampoo? Woman-Sensei: That is what you wish? Mousse: Yes. If I was blind, I could gain her pity; If I could see, I could win her heart. In between, I gain only her contempt.*** Gosunkugi: I..uh..well..I don't know how. Woman-Sensei: Do you wish to help him? Gosunkugi: Yes. I do, but I don't know any rituals for restoring sight. Woman-Sensei: You need no ritual to do magic. You need only believe. All else is tools to aid the belief of yourself and others. If you knew a ritual for healing his sight, how would it go? {Gosunkugi sits and thinks. Ukyou is beginning to cook more food in preparation for the dinner rush. We finally see the cat. It springs up onto the counter next to Gosunkugi and sniffs him. It is calico, with a red collar with gold studs around its neck. Gosunkugi turns and looks at the cat and his eyes widen}. Gosunkugi: May I have one of your whiskers? {It sticks its whiskers near his hands. He plucks the whisker. The cat screeches a bit. Gosunkugi turns and pours some of the hot water into a glass. He places the whisker into the glass. Then he grabs Mousse's glasses. They go in the glass.} Gosunkugi{Now holding the glass and twirling his left hand over it.} Buddha, in your mercy hear my call. Mousse stands before you without sight, without his vision he is despair's thrall. Please help Mousse escape his plight. We stand before you asking that Mousse might gain the sight of the cat. {He nimbly throws the glass of water in Mousse's face. Mousse splutters and wipes the water from his eyes.} Ukyou: I hope you didn't just take away the cat's sight and give it to Mousse. Gosunkugi: I didn't think of that. {He stares at the cat. The cat stares back at him, then smiles} Mousse: I can see! I can see without my glasses! {He jumps up and down} Thank you! My vision is cured. Scene shift: {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing****, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: I can't see!!!! Roll Credits End Part 2 ************************************************************************ Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 3 Status: RO Part 3 Summary of the preceeding: {Gosunkugi's continued magical incompetence has brought him to the attention of a gaijin witch who has offered to teach him how to do magic correctly. They saw Shampoo mistreating Mousse as usual, and decided to help him. Gosunkugi created a ritual to cure Mousse's sight, which worked, but...} {We see the inside of the Nekohanten. Shampoo is cleaning up and serving customers. As she approaches a blond woman in combat fatigues, a bearded man with a hat pulled down over his eyes and a dapper young man with slicked back hair and immaculate clothing, she begins to stagger. Her eyes glaze.} Shampoo: {She staggers over to the table. The three patrons look concernedly at her.} [thought:] Dapper Man: {Stands up} Are you all right? You look a bit shaky, miss... Shampoo: I am fine. Please do not worry. {Puts a bowl of noodles in front of the woman, then puts a glass next to it} Your noodles, sir. {woman stares at the bowl, then passes it to the bearded man, who is scratching his chin} Dapper Man: Are you sure? I think you just mistook... Shampoo: No! I never make mistakes. Uh..., please. Sit down. I will serve you next. {Puts second bowl of noodles on top of the one the bearded man is starting to eat from, put second glass next to his. He pauses, then digs into the new bowl.} Woman: Stop that. That's mine! {grabs bowl away from bearded man who returns to eating from the original bowl} Shampoo:{puts last bowl down in the dapper man's chair, but puts his glass on the table. Addresses chair:} There. Now you have good meal. Pay at counter. Goodbye! {walks away and crashes into a table. It breaks in half. She talks to it} Sorry. Just clumsy today, I guess. Woman: I can't believe they hired such a strange waitress. The food is good though. Dapper Man: I think something is up here. She was fine when she took our order and when she was bringing the food until she was almost here. Then she started and said something in chinese. Bearded Man: Maybe it was her idea of a joke. {continues to eat} Dapper Man: Something strange is up, here... {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Three: Consequences {Scene has now shifted to Ukyou's restaurant. Mousse is dancing about happily. His glasses are on the counter. Ukyou watches bemusedly as she continues cooking. Gosunkugi is watching Mousse dance.} Mousse: Thank you Gosunkugi! Now Shampoo will love me as I love her! {He grabbes his glasses, put them in his pocket and runs out of the restaurant.} Ukyou: I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. Good work, Gosunkugi. Gosunkugi: {has an astonished smile on his face} It worked! Amazing! Woman-sensei: You've made him very happy. Well, I must be leaving now. I'll be back in a few days. I've got to go accomplish what I came to Japan to do. Gosunkugi: I...can I go with you? I want to learn more. Woman-sensei: I'll be back, for a while. I can't stay here for very long, I've got other duties calling me. With the power of magic comes grave responsibilities. Just try working with what I've told you while I'm gone. I suspect your services may be in much demand. Gosunkugi: My services in demand? Woman-sensei: {We see from her shadow that she is picking up her broom and turning to go.}There are many things that people want that only magic can provide or that it seems only magic can provide. I'll return in three days. I have friends to visit and secrets to trade. Farewell. {suddenly she is gone} Ukyou: So who was that anyway? Gosunkugi: I don't know. I never thought to ask. Ukyou: {[] is thought, not spoken}[I wonder if Gosunkugi could break Ranma's curse...] Oh, Gosunkugi... Gosunkugi: Yes... Ukyou: {sidling over to him} I have a request to make of you... {scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is trying to serve the customers without letting them know that she can barely see. They are beginning to worry about her. We notice that a fourth person has joined the trio from the opening sequence...Kodachi} Background Mutter: very good food...something's wrong with the waitress...clumsy...Doughnuts!...my glass is half-full...don't do kidnapping...she addressed me, a guy, as Ma'am...not normally like this...no, its' half-empty...not a kidnapping, a rescue...mmph, chomp, chomp... {We see Shampoo addressing a potted plant} Shampoo: Take your order, sir? {waits} I recommend the... {The door to the Nekohanten flies open. Mousse runs in, straight over to Shampoo. She hears him and stares at him} Shampoo: [Ranma?] Shampoo: Nihao. {Mousse grabbs her in a big hug} Mousse: Shampoo. I love you! See, I don't need my glasses anymore. Shampoo: I...[It must be Ranma, but the voice isn't right. Why is he talking about glasses?] I love you too, Ranma. Mousse: I'm not Ranma. {He turns her head to face his} See, no glasses. I guess you've never seen me without them before. No wonder you didn't recognize me. Shampoo:[It is Mousse! ] I...I...{wrenches free and runs crying back into the kitchen.} Mousse: Shampoo, what's wrong? {Scene change to outside the Tendo dojo. Ranma is walking with a distracted look on his face. He does not notice that he is about to walk into the wall of the dojo.} Ranma:[Well, Dr. Tofu told me I probably saw a gaijin witch. So what was she doing flying over my house with Gosunkugi?] Ooph! {He walks head forward into the wall. He staggers back. Akane sticks her head out the door.} Akane: The door's over here. That's the wall. Ranma: I knew that. Akane: Then why did you do it? Ranma: I..I...{obviously can't think of an excuse} Akane: Oh well, come in. I'm cooking supper tonight! Ranma: {Look of abject fear} Uh oh. {cut to Tendo living room. Nabiki is doing homework. Genma and Soun are playing Shogi. Kasumi is watching Television. P-chan is on the couch next to her.} Soun: {to Kasumi} I can't believe you are letting Akane cook dinner. I thought you loved your father. Kasumi: If she never cooks, she'll never get any better. Soun: But I don't know if I will survive her cooking in the interim. Nabiki: {to herself} I wonder if I have enough ready cash to go out to dinner tonight. {Footsteps approach. Everyone looks up. Gosunkugi and Ukyou enter the room.} Ukyou: I have an announcement to make! Nabiki: You're cooking dinner instead of Akane? Soun: Hush! Let her speak! Ukyou: I... Genma: Please cook dinner for us! We... Soun: Sshh! {turns to face Ukyou. While his back is turned, Genma turns the Shogi board around.} Yes... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} End Part 3 ****************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic-part 4 of Putting your heart in the right place. Status: RO Part 4: {Flash back from end of part 3: This looks kinda hazy. We see the Tendo Family lounging around the living room. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Ukyo and Gosunkugi have just entered.... Ukyou: Gosunkugi and I... Kasumi: are getting married? Soun: Congratulations! When is the day? Ukyou: No! We are not getting married! Soun: Changed your mind so soon? Ukyou: We are here so that Gosunkugi can use his magic to cure Ranma and then I'm going to marry Ranma, not Gosunkugi. Everyone:....{Various looks of shock and suprise} (We see the wall clock. It reads 4:30pm. We now cut to a few minutes later.Wall Clock says 4:45. The Room has been rearranged. There is a big tub of water in the middle of the room. Ribbons with mystic characters hang over the door. We can hear someone running water in the kitchen. Ranma and Akane walk in.Gosunkugi is dressed like a Shinto priest, and Ukyo as a Shinto priestess. They are making more ribbons. Nabiki is sitting in the corner, still doing her homework. Genma and Soun are by one door looking on. ) Ranma: Hi, Dad. I...hey, what's going on here. Soun: (Suddenly at Ranma's side. Grasps his shoulder.) Gosunkugi has volunteered to cure your curse and then he's marrying.... Ukyou: (looks mad) Will you get it straight! Gosunkugi is going to break the curse and then I'm marrying Ranma! Ranma! not Gosunkugi! Ranma!!! Ranma: I...uh...(Thinks: I'd really like to be free of my curse, but do I want to marry Ukyo. I...) Ulp. What do I have to do? Gosunkugi: Well, my first thought was to find a pool and drown a male in it, then you could... (Everyone stares at him with big eyes.) Gosunkugi: I didn't say it was a good idea! (Everyone is relieved). So then I decided to try a technique I saw in a book once. Ranma: What technique? Gosunkugi: We're going to exorcise the room. Then someone male and uncursed must get in the tub and hold their breath for a long time and bleed a little into the tub to imbue it with their essence. That should be about as good as drowning when we add a little ritual to it. Then you will have to turn into a girl. We will exorcise you, then you bathe in the water. That should do it. Ranma: Is that all? Gosunkugi: Well... Ranma: Well what? Gosunkugi: Er. for best effect, it recommends that the person to be uncursed must be...uh...well... Ranma: Be what? Be What! Gosunkugi: naked. (everyone faints.) {Opening Credits roll...} Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part Four: A Cure for Ranma? (We cut to back at the Nekohanten. Cologne kicks Mousse out the front door, then takes Shampoo back to the kitchen . She sits Shampoo down on a stool. Shampoo is staring off over Cologne's head. Cologne looks where she is staring. Nothing is there.) Cologne: What is wrong with you today? Shampoo: Nothing. Cologne: Don't lie to me, great-granddaughter. Shampoo: I..I...(starts to cry again) Cologne: You can't see, can you? Shampoo: (Bawling) Its' all one big blur! I can't tell you apart from a bush! Cologne: (Sighs) How did this happen? Shampoo: I don't know. I was working in the restaurant and suddenly, everything went blurry. Cologne: (looks at her eyes) Your eyes look okay. Do they hurt? Shampoo: No. I just can't see. Mousse: (Suddenly there) Maybe these will help. (Puts his glasses on Shampoo's face. We see Shampoo's perspective. Vague blurs suddenly sharpen into Mousse and Cologne.) Shampoo: I can see! Cologne: I thought you needed those. Mousse: Not anymore. Now I can see as well as anyone else. Cologne: Hmmmm. (Cut to the street outside the Tendo Dojo. The Dapper man, the bearded man, and the woman that we saw earlier at the Nekohanten are perched on a roof across the street. The Bearded Man has a pair of binoculars that he is viewing the Dojo with.) Bearded Man: I think that they must be preparing for some kind of religious ritual. I see two shinto priests, the boy our patron told us about, two old men, two teenage girls, and...a pig in the front yard. Looks like its trying to push the door open. The other teenager is in the kitchen. These people hardly look like the hardened ninjas our patron claimed were holding her fiancee hostage. Dapper Man: I think something strange is up. For the moment, we will watch. Besides, if they are ninjas, one of them is probably watching us right now. Bearded Man: The two old men might be ninjas. One of them is wearing a martial arts outfit at least. Woman: They look like a pair of old fools to me. Dapper Man: What better disguise than to look harmless? Woman: True Dapper Man: Lets' see how they react to outsiders. I'm going to knock on the door and ask for the man of the house. We'll see who is in charge. Woman: Hmm... Dapper Man: You don't approve? Woman: The more I think about this job, the more I think I shouldn't have let you talk me into helping you with this. Dapper Man: I'm beginning to wonder myself why I agreed to do this. Bearded Man: It certainly wasn't the proposal you originally told us about. Dapper Man: Hmmm...Well, lets' go into the lions' den. (He slips off the roof and heads over to the front door of the Dojo. He knocks. The door opens. We hear incoherent shouting from inside the Dojo. Kasumi has answered the door.) Kasumi: Can I help you, sir? Dapper Man: Yes. I am Miyaki Hikaru, a representative of the Tax Bureau. I need to talk to the master of the house about his property taxes. Kasumi: (Eyes get big) Is there a problem? Dapper Man: Just a random audit. May I come in? Kasumi: Well...okay. You'll need to wait in the kitchen while I get father. Dapper Man: Allright. (They go into the kitchen. Dapper Man sits down in a chair while Kasumi heads into the living room. Everyone is arguing. Ranma is shaking Gosunkugi.) Ranma: I've got to be naked through the whole thing? Gosunkugi: Yes...otherwise it might not work. Ranma: But...it...I... Akane: Who has to be present for the ritual? Kasumi: Father, the tax man is here to see you. (Everyone turns and stares for a moment. Soun looks shocked.) Soun: The...tax man? Kasumi: Yes. He said he has to talk to you about your property taxes. Soun: Ulp. Nabiki: Come on, dad. We'll take care of him. I've kept our family finances in good order. (Hustles Soun into the kitchen. Shuts door behind her.) Akane: Well? Gosunkugi: What? Akane: WHO HAS TO BE PRESENT FOR THE RITUAL?! Gosunkugi: Me, Ranma, an uncursed male, and an uncursed female, both preferably with some sort of tie to the subject. Kasumi: tie? Gosunkugi: A blood tie would be ideal, but an emotional tie will do as well. They have to want it to work. The uncursed female acts as my partner in the ritual, while the male provides the model for uncursed masculinity. Kasumi: Sounds rather Jungian to me. Everyone: What? Kasumi:(wan smile) nothing. Ukyou: Well, I'm going to be Gosunkugi's partner in the ritual. He's already taught it to me. Akane: But you'll... Ukyou: see Ranma naked? Well, we are going to get married after we cure him. Akane: (obviously fuming) He's my fiancee, not yours! Ukyo: I thought you didn't like him. Akane: Er, uhm, well... Ranma: Don't I get any say in this? Kasumi: Gosunkugi, does anyone have to see Ranma naked during the ritual? Gosunkugi(Aha look) Why no. The woman could wear a blindfold, then Ranma wouldn't have to be embarrassed. Kasumi: I knew there had to be a simple solution. Who's going to be the uncursed male? Akane: We could get Ryoga to do it. Ranma: I...don't know if that would be a good idea. Akane: Why? Don't you want to be cured? Who else do you have in mind? Ranma: Well... Gosunkugi: I think Ryoga would be fine...if you could find him. He's lost as usual. Ranma: (obvious look of relief)(Very quietly to self) That was a close one. Kasumi: How about Father? He would be very pleased to see Ranma cured. Akane: But he's talking to the tax man right now. Ukyou: How about you, Gosunkugi? You're not under any curses. Gosunkugi: It has to be someone else. Genma: Why? Gosunkugi: I can't hold my breath underwater while bleeding a little and chant at the same time, gesturing over the tub. Genma: Good point. Akane: How about Doctor Tofu? Ranma: Good Idea! Genma: I'll go get him. (leaves). (Time passes. We see Genma get Dr. Tofu, Nabiki spinning a web of BS around the Dapper Man, who looks like he wishes he had picked a different way to get into the house, the impatient Woman and the Bearded Man on the roof, Kasumi making blindfolds, and Akane and Ukyou arguing about who is going to perform the ritual.) Ukyo: (Turns to Ranma) So who do you want to be the woman in the ritual? Ranma: I...uh..well... Akane: (taps foot) Well?! Ranma: Well, you'll be wearing a blindfold....Can't you both do it? Wouldn't two be better than one? Gosunkugi: It would unbalance the mystic energies! You might become a woman forever! Ranma: Eek. Ukyo and Akane: ugh. Akane: I...well, I guess since Ukyo does know the ritual already...and I don't want to make my fiancee into a girl forever... Ukyo: Thank you Akane. Akane: But that doesn't make you his fiancee! Ukyo: I was engaged to him before you were. Akane: His father sold him into engagement for food then ran out on it! Ukyo: I'd marry him cursed or not, would you? Akane: Uh... Genma and Dr. Tofu:(as they enter) We're here! Gosunkugi: Good. Time to start the ritual. (Cut to the kitchen. Kasumi is making Tea. A pile of papers threatens to overwhelm the Dapper Man, who is sitting at the table with Nabiki and Soun. Soun and the Dapper Man both look utterly confused.) Nabiki: See. It not only balances, but you owe us 700,000 yen for overvaluing our house. Dapper Man: I see...(sudden idea) I need to look around the house to check the valuation. Soun: (look of man who has just been rescued from certain doom) I will be glad to show you around the house. (opens door. We hear chanting. He looks in, blanches, slams door, stands in front of it.) How about if we start with the training hall. Dapper Man: What's going on in there? I hear chanting. Kasumi: They're... Nabiki: Secret Family Shinto Ritual. If an outsider intrudes, the spirits will filet you and sell you at the market for half price. Dapper Man: What? Soun: Yes. Nabiki is right. I will show you the training hall. Hopefully, they will be finished by the time we complete that. Kasumi, come tell us when the ritual is over. Nabiki, help me show the Tax Man the training hall. Both: Yes, Father. (We cut to the roof where the Bearded Man and the Woman are watching the house. They see Soun, Dapper Man, and Nabiki come out the front and circle around to the training hall entrance.) Bearded Man: Now what's he doing? Woman: I don't know. They've pulled the shades on the room they were all in. Bearded Man: And I think the woman who answered the door is waving at us from the kitchen. Woman: As soon as we get him out of there, I'm leaving. This can't possibly be the way she told us it was. Bearded Man: Tatewaki Kodachi has a few things to explain, I think. Kasumi: (leans out the window) Yoo-hoo, up there on the roof. That isn't very safe. You might want to come down before you slip and fall off. Bearded Man: That's the last straw. We are getting out of here. (Inside the training hall. We can here chanting through the door to the living room. Nabiki is pointing out features of the hall.) Nabiki: Roof--Tile--value: 7 million yen. Training mats--6, 70,000 yen value each. Total 420,000 yen. Wall supports... Dapper Man: (keeps looking towards door to living room.) Yes. Well, how about the rest of the house. Soun: The Back Yard! We must show you the extent of the Back yard. Nabiki: Yes. It's very nice. Dapper Man: I need to see the inside of the house! (Dojo doors fly open. Bearded Man and Woman have entered) Bearded Man: Time to go. Dapper Man: (comes over to the Bearded Man) I haven't gotten to see the inside of the house yet. Why did you come in? Woman: We've been set up or something. The girl who answered the door saw us and waved. Something is going on here. We're going looking for the person who got us into this stupid affair. Soun (to Nabiki) I hope we're not in trouble. Nabiki: Hmm. I think I can guess what's going on here. (strides over to the trio). Gentlemen, lets' make a deal. (Cut to the site of the ritual. The inside of the tub is a bit reddish now. Dr. Tofu has just reentered the room, with still wet hair. Ukyou and Akane are wearing blindfolds. Akane is sitting in the corner with Genma. Ranma has just dumped water on himself and is now a girl. Gosunkugi is on one side of Ranma and Ukyou on the other. They begin to chant, waving sticks with exorcism ribbons on them) Gosunkugi:Curse, Curse, go away! Ukyou: Don't come again on any day! Gosunkugi: Be it rain or... Ukyou: Be it shine... Gosunkgi: In the day.. Ukyou: Or at night time... Gosunkugi: Be he near... Ukyou: Or be he far... Gosunkugi: When he is wet... Ukyou: Or when he is dry... Gosunkugi: Let him remain... Ukyou: Always a guy! Gosunkugi: Spirit of the curse! I command you to come out of this man! Ukyou: I command you to return to the place where you were spawned! Gosunkugi: No more shall you plague the line of Saotome! Ukyou: When Ranma enters the water... Gosunkugi: He shall become man, not woman... Ukyou: and stay man forevermore! Gosunkugi: Ranma, get in the water. (Ranma gets into the tub of water. He sinks down all the way into it. We see his hair turn Black. He gets up male. Looks at himself:) Ranma: It worked! (Grabs a towel) (Ukyo and Akane rip off their blindfolds, rush over and hug Ranma) Both: I'm happy for you. Ranma (hugs them back and blushes a little) Me too. (wrenches loose and dances around) Cured! I'm cured! (Turns to Gosunkugi) Would this work for Dad, Gosunkugi? Gosunkugi: I think so. Everyone: Hurray! (End Part 4) ***************************************************************************** Subject: Ranma Fan Fic part 5--putting your heart in the right place Status: RO (open Part 5) ( Everyone is eating Dinner. Ukyo and Kasumi are serving everyone. Gosunkugi is in the seat of honor.) Ranma: A toast to the end of the curse on the Saotome line! Everyone: Hear, hear! Ukyo: Now you can finally tell your mom where you are. Ranma: Yes. That threat is over. Ukyo: And we can get married... Soun: Ranma is engaged to Akane. Ukyo: He was engaged to me first! Soun: Long before that, Genma and I decided Ranma would marry one of my daughters. Kasumi: Who do you want to marry, Ranma? Ranma: I..uh..well...I've known Ucchan longer, but Dad and Mr. Tendo did arrange I would marry one of his daughters...but I wasn't given a choice in any of these engagements...and... Kasumi: But do you love Akane or Ucchan? Who do YOU want to marry? Ranma: Well, Ucchan can cook better than Akane, but .... Akane: Are you saying I can't cook?! Ranma: Akane was nice to me when everyone else was mad because they thought I was a girl and they were expecting a boy... Akane: (looks surprised)... Ranma: But then she got mad when SHE walked in on ME when I was naked... Ukyo: (looks surprised)(thinking)(She's seen him naked?) Ranma: And Ucchan has never done anything like that... Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But I always thought Ucchan was a boy until recently... Soun: (looks at Ukyo, looks confused) Ranma: and they're both beautiful when they try to be... Akane: (looks stunned) Ukyo: (smiles) Ranma: But Akane acts so unfeminine all the time... Akane: (Snarls) Ranma: But she always stands up for those who can't defend themselves... Akane: (looks really confused now. So does everyone else) Nabiki: Are you going to keep this up all day long? Ranma: I've really got to think about this before I make any committment. Gosunkugi: What about Shampoo? (opening Credits roll) Ranma1/2 FanFic--Putting your Heart in the Right Place By John Biles Based on the Creations of Rumiko Takahashi Part 5: Whose Wedding Bells do I hear? (scene cuts to the Nekohanten. We see Shampoo going about her waitressing, wearing Mousse's glasses. He is following her around, averting minor disasters in her wake. He smiles, she looks wan. She shivers.) Mousse: Are you all right, dear Shampoo. Shampoo: I...someone must have been talking about me. (a tear runs down her face.) Mousse: Don't cry(hugs her) Shampoo: I...I...how could you ever stand this? Everything is a blur, even with the glasses. Mousse: The vision of your loveliness pierced even that fog and inspired me to continue. Shampoo: Oh, I...(begins to cry heavily) Mousse: Don't be sad. I won't leave you. (cut to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is sitting in the window of his room. He is staring out into the night sky. The door opens. Ryoga walks in) Ryoga: I can not let you marry Akane. (Ranma ignores him and stares out the window.) Ryoga: You must marry Ukyo. Then I can marry Akane and we can both be happy. Ranma: Will you tell her about P-Chan? Ryoga: I... Ranma: I have kept your secret despite many temptations to tell her. Please leave me alone to think. Ryoga: I heard they broke your curse. Ranma: I'm sure Gosunkugi can cure you like he cured me. Ryoga: Thank you, Ranma. (he leaves). (The door opens again. This time it is Ukyo.) Ukyo: Ranma? (Ranma continues staring out the window.) Ranma: --- Ukyo: I just...are you okay? (comes over to him) Ranma: I need to be alone to think. Please don't be offended by that. Ukyo: Ranma, I... Ranma: (turns around.) Thanks for coming to see me, but I need to make up my mind what I want to do. Ukyo: Ranma, I love you, whatever you decide, I want you to be happy. Ranma: Thank you, Ukyo. I wish I knew for sure how I feel... Ukyo:... Ranma: But whatever I decide, thank you for getting Gosunkugi to cure me. I could never thank you enough. Ukyo: Just choose wisely. I'll see you tomorrow. (She leans over and kisses him, then turns and leaves) (Ranma stands there in shock for a moment, then begins to turn back around. He sees his reflection in the mirror. something is wrong. Its his female form reflected in the mirror with a look of despair. Ranma cries out in shock.) (The door opens. Kasumi is in the doorway.) Kasumi: Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I...my reflection, it...(looks at mirror. Reflection is back to normal.) My reflection looked like me as a woman, but now its back to normal. Kasumi: You probably just imagined it. Ranma: But why? Kasumi: Did she look happy, sad, angry? Ranma: Despairing. Kasumi: Probably it was a trick of the light, and your mind filled in the details. You look pretty despairing yourself right now. Ranma: I have a big choice I don't want to make. Kasumi: The wedding? Ranma: I don't know who to marry or why or even if I should. Kasumi: Well, neither of your engagements has been very normal. Ranma: My life has been so strange. Until I came here, I hadn't had a real home since I was very little. I had to hide from my own mother for fear I would have to commit suicide if she found out what had happened to me. Dad engaged me for food once and for friendship a second time. One of my fiancees, I thought was a boy for ten years, and I can't get along with the other one. Kasumi: You always seem to get along fine with Akane. Ranma: I...are we talking about the same Akane? Kasumi: You always try to defend her, you never let anyone try to win her affections, you've never really tried to break the engagement, you never really hurt her when she gets mad and attacks you--I'd say you really care about her. You're both too proud to drop your defenses and admit it, but I'd say she really cares about you too. Ranma:I... Kasumi: She cooks for you... Ranma: She's an awful cook! Kasumi: So was I at first. But she cares enough to keep trying, even though she knows you fear her cooking. It really hurts her when you won't even try it. Ranma: But I... Kasumi: She has never betrayed your engagement, despite having virtually every guy in her high school after her. She could have any man she wanted. She gets jealous when other women flirt with you, just like you get mad when men flirt with her... Ranma: We are engaged. Kasumi: And despite fighting all the time, and supposedly "hating" each other, you keep to it better than many engaged couples do. Ranma: You really think she likes me? Kasumi: yes. Ranma: But what about Ukyo? Kasumi: How do you feel about Ukyo? Ranma: She's my oldest friend. She's the best cook I know. She is always nice to me and didn't care about my curse. And she loves me. Kasumi: But how do you FEEL about Ukyo? Ranma: I care about her, but I don't know if I want to...to... Kasumi: marry her? Ranma: yeah. I don't know what love really feels like. My life has been so messed up... Kasumi: Maybe you should try a real date with each of them to see how you feel just alone with that person. You've never been out on a real, voluntary date, have you? Ranma: Not really. I...What would be a good date? Kasumi:(gets up to leave) You'll have to figure that one out yourself. Ranma: Thanks, Kasumi. I just hope Ryoga doesn't flip if I go on a date with Akane. Kasumi: (turns in Doorway) So when are you going to tell Akane about Ryoga? Ranma: (stunned) You know...about... Kasumi: Its' utterly obvious. I don't know why she can't figure it out. I haven't told her because it would cause so much trouble.... Ranma: She'd go berserk. I'd die for not telling her before, and she'd try to rip Ryoga limb from limb. Then everyone else would die too, just on general principle. Kasumi: I don't have the answer to anything. If you hurry, you can catch Akane before she goes to sleep. Ranma: (very softly) yeah... (Ranma goes out and down the hall to Akane's room.) Ranma: This would be easier if I had some passion spice or something. Oh well. I'd better knock first. (knocks) Akane: (through door) Who is it? Ranma: Its' me, Ranma. Akane: (opens door) What? Ranma: I...uhh...welll...we've never..that is? Akane: (impatient) spit it out. Ranma: I've decided that before I decide who I'm going to marry, I really need to try to..welll, it was Kasumi's idea... Akane: What, what was Kasumi's idea? Ranma: Will you go out on a date with me? I...I promise not to call you "uncute" for the entire evening. I'll even pay for it,...somehow. Akane (in shock)...A date? Ranma: Is that a yes or a no? Akane: I...uhh...well... Ranma: ... Akane: Um, okay. (end credits on part 5) (Begin part 6) (We see Shampoo bicycling down the street, wearing Mousse's glasses. She comes around a corner and sees the Tendo dojo. She backs up, takes off the glasses, puts them in the carrybag slung over her shoulder, parks the bike, chains it to a telephone pole, and staggers up the street to the Tendo Dojo. Finally, she makes it to the front door and knocks. Kasumi answers the door.) Kasumi: Why hello, Shampoo. Would you like something to eat? There's some breakfast left over. Shampoo: Thank you, yes. Is Ranma here? (sits down, Kasumi starts preparing a bowl for Shampoo.) Kasumi: He's left for school already. Shampoo: I wanted to see if he wanted to come to eat at the Nekohanten tonight. Great-grandmother is making something special with some new herbs we just got in. Kasumi: I think he has a...(pauses) he's busy tonight. (Door flies open. Ryoga walks in) Ryoga: Is Akane here? (He has a very happy/proud look on his face) Kasumi: Nope. She is at school already. Would you like something to eat, Ryoga? Ryoga: Sure. (sits down) Hi, Shampoo. Shampoo: (stares at him) Ranma? Ryoga: What? I'm Ryoga. Shampoo: oh, sorry. (Kasumi has almost finished preparing their food. She is about to put the salt away when she notices a small wooden salt shaker labeled--Kasumi's special spice, ask her before using. She looks back at Shampoo and Ryoga. They are staring at each other and talking about how life would be simpler if Ranma would marry Shampoo and Akane would marry Ryoga. Kasumi looks back at the spice. She smiles and shakes some of it into Ryoga and Shampoo's food.) Kasumi(thinking) Here's where we see if those herbalism books are accurate. Kasumi: Breakfast is served. (Shampoo and Ryoga dig in. They seem quite pleased with the food.) Ryoga: This is really good. Shampoo:yes. Definitely. Kasumi: Why thank you. (Ryoga and Shampoo both yawn. They keep eating and collapse into slumber as they finish off their food. Kasumi clears the dishes away.) (Mousse enters:) Mousse: Have you seen...Hey.(goes over to Shampoo, shakes her, she snores away.) Kasumi: I guess they were really tired. Maybe you should take her home. Mousse: Good idea. (picks her up, carries her out.) Kasumi: Dad! (Soun enters.) Soun: Yes, daughter. Kasumi: Ryoga fell asleep at the table, can you take him to the guest room so I can finish clearing off the table. Soun: Poor lad. Certainly. (He hefts Ryoga over the shoulder and carries him off.) (Kasumi goes to the spice cabinet, puts the special spice back into the cabinet, closes it, goes to the cookbook collection, and gets one labeled, "Special spices". We see her page through the book, but the opening credits roll before we see what she is looking for.) Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part six: Affairs of the Heart (Back at the Nekohanten, Mousse takes Shampoo back to her bedroom, puts her on the bed. He enters the kitchen where Cologne is hard at Cologne: What were you doing with Shampoo just now? Mousse: Something has put her to sleep. She slept through being carried home from the Tendo dojo. Cologne: Hmm. I'd better take a look at her. (leaves). Mousse: (wanders over to see what Cologne was making.) Love noodles? Sigh. Another effort to enchant Ranma to fall in love with her. If he loved her, she wouldn't need noodles. Hmmm...the active ingredient is the powdered siren's hair. (looks at the bottle). This looks just like salt. Hmmm. (We see Mousse take a salt shaker and switch its components with the powdered siren's hair.) Mousse: Well, that takes care of that. What other recipies are in this book, anyway--passion spice, beefbowl of strength, passion pancakes--I bet Ukyo would like that recipe--spiritual sukiyaki, exorcism eggplant--these are all magical recipies. Hmmm. (looks at "salt" shaker in hand. pockets it. Heads for the door.) Cologne: She's had sleep spice given to her. Help me cook up an antidote. Mousse:all right. What do we need first? Cologne: You finish these noodles I was making, I'll make the antidote. Mousse: (smirks out of Cologne's sight) Yes, ma'am. (scene cuts to the outside of the Tatewaki mansion. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the blond Woman are watching it from a hotel balcony a far ways off.) Bearded Man: So, got any good ideas. Dapper Man: Well, our erstwhile employer just left for school, so we could follow her or lay a trap for her return. Woman: I'll follow her, you lay the trap. She goes to a girls' school, after all. Dapper Man: And... Woman: (pulls off her camo fatigues, and rapidly fiddles with her hair, puts on glasses. She now looks like a nerdy blond teenager in a school uniform.) Taa Daah! Bearded Man: Wow. Dapper Man: Good job. You follow her. Just be careful. She seems rather unstable. Woman: (as she leaves) I'm used to unstable people. Dapper Man: And now to set up a trap. (Cut to Furinkan High. Ranma, Gosunkugi, Akane, and Ukyo are in class. Gosunkugi is obviously very tired, and so is Ukyo, but not as badly.) Sensei: So, Gosunkugi, what were the origins of the Shogunate? Gosunkugi: The emperor (yawn) The Emperor (Yawn)...wanted to take a nap. (head goes down on the desk) Sensei: This is the last straw. You've been nodding off all day long. In the hall with a bucket, now! Gosunkugi: But, I... Sensei: NOW! Gosunkugi: Yes, (yawn) Sensei. (He goes out in the hall and takes up bucket holding position #1. He hears Footsteps. It is Kuno.) Kuno: Is it true that Ranma is going to marry Akane soon? Gosunkugi: He may marry Ukyo, instead. He hasn't made up his mind. Kuno: I will never let him take away my precious Akane, or the pig-tailed girl either. This I Tatewaki Kuno do swear! (Holds Bokken over his head. Lightning and thunder flashes around him.) Gosunkugi: But how will you stop him? Kuno: I don't ...Ahah! I will get you to use one of your rituals to prevent it! Gosunkugi: But I don't... Kuno: Silence, lowerclassman. It is an honor for you to serve me! You will find a way to keep Ranma from marrying Akane! (stalks off) Gosunkugi: I think I'll just find a way to take a nap. Curing Ryoga kept me up all night almost. I think Ukyo is about conked out too. I'm glad she helped me. I hope Ranma picks her. Then I could marry Akane... (Back in the Classroom, time has passed and the class has broken for lunch.) Ranma: Where's Gosunkugi? Ukyo: Asleep in the hallway. (yawn) Sounds like a good idea to me. (staggers out the door) Akane: What kept them up last night? Ranma: I have no idea.(looks distracted) Akane: So where are...uh...when do we... Ranma: (suddenly clicks back into reality) What, our date? Akane: Uh, yes. Ranma: We could go to...no, that's a bad idea. Akane: What's a bad idea? Ranma: I can't think of any restaraunts that would be safe to go to that are any good. Akane: What? Ranma: Well, I always eat at Ucchan's or at the Nekohanten, but I don't think that... Akane: it would be a good idea to eat at them. True. I....(Ranma is staring into her eyes. He sees himself reflected in them, then he sees the image change to that of his former girl form. He starts back.) ...know a good place. Ranma, are you okay? Ranma: I think I need to talk to Dr. Tofu, I keep seeing things. Akane: Things? You have been acting a bit wierd. Ranma: I have? Like what? Akane: Like not getting mad at me, asking me out, jumping at every little noise. You didn't get up early to practice with your dad, either. Ranma: Neither did he. We both overslept. Akane: You never miss your morning practices. Ranma: I just feel kind of drained. Maybe the ritual wore Ukyo, Gosunkugi, and I out. They did it again for dad, so that's why I feel drained and they are exhausted. Akane: That does make sense. (pause). I know a great restaurant called Ma Maison. It's french food, but... Ranma: Okay, that'd be great. (stares off into space again.) Akane: (thinking) Something is wrong with Ranma. (We cut back to the Tendo dojo. Soun and Genma are playing Shogi. Kasumi enters.) Kasumi: So when are you going to let your wife know where you are, now that you are cured, Mr. Saotome. Genma: (freezes in mid-move) I...hadn't thought of that. Soun: Shame on you. You should call her right away. Genma: Well... Kasumi: I'm cooking a special dinner tonight, although Ranma and Akane will miss it. Soun: Why will they miss it? Kasumi: They are going out on a date tonight. Soun: Hurrah! (Grabs Genma and dances around with him) Kasumi: He's going out with Ukyo tommorrow night. He's trying to make up his mind who to marry. Soun: I will congratulate them when they come home. Kasumi: Uhm... Genma: I think that would embarrass Ranma. It would be better to act like we don't know until they tell us. Soun: oh. (looks dejected) (Scene cut to Gosunkugi and Ukyo cleaning the classroom. They keep slumping over desks, tripping over their brooms, and standing and yawning.) Gosunkugi: I should have just stayed home. I'm so tired. (yawn) Ukyo: Yeah, I think staying up until 1 am fixing Ryoga really wore me out too. Gosunkugi: But now I have another rival for Akane's heart, sigh. Ukyo: Why do you want Akane? Gosunkugi: I have always worshipped her--her smile, her grace, her friendliness, her skill. She is like a goddess to me. (yawn) Ukyo: (Yawn). Well, if Ranma marries me, that will be one less rival for you. I (yawn) think you probably have as much of a chance as Ryoga did. If he tried to marry Akane, he'd get lost on the way to the wedding. (Sits down against the wall.) Gosunkugi: (sits down near her) Yeah. So why do you (yawn) want to marry Ranma? Ukyo: Well, we met when we were very little. My dad raised me after mom died, but he wanted to find me a good husband. I got engaged to Ranma basically because Ranma's dad needed food. Then after staying a while, they ran out on it. We were humiliated. No one else would set up an engagement with me. Eventually, I came looking for Ranma to see what he was like now. He hadn't really changed, except for being older, and cursed. At first, the quest for marriage was a duty thing, but I soon fell in love with him. I understand why he contemplates marrying Akane, but I think we're better suited for each other. (She is obviously beginning to fall asleep.) Gosunkugi: (slumping over towards her. He is close to slumber too. Yawns) Why? Ukyo: We both can cook, fight, and are dedicated to what we do. We get along well and enjoy being around each other. And I know he cares for me. He and Akane squabble, she can't cook, and there are plenty of other guys she could have. Gosunkugi: But does she want any other guys? (They both pass out, and slide over, heads touching, forming an upsidedown V) (Back at the Nekohanten. Cologne feeds Shampoo a concoction. Shampoo sits up, stretches her back and says:) Shampoo: I'm sorry, Kasumi. I guess I fell asleep at the table. Cologne: I'm not Kasumi, and this is not the table. Mousse: What happened? Shampoo: Where am I? Cologne: This is the Nekohanten. Why aren't you wearing your glasses? Shampoo: Those are Mousse's glasses, not... Cologne: Until your sight returns to normal, they are yours. Mousse: I don't need them anymore. Cologne: Did you ask Ranma to come eat at the Nekohanten tonight? Shampoo: He was at school when I got there. (pause) Shampoo: How did I get back here? Mousse: I carried you back. Cologne: What were you doing when you fell asleep? Shampoo: Eating some breakfast that Kasumi made. Cologne: Someone fed you magic sleep spice. I could see the signs. Mousse: But who could have... Cologne: So Kasumi thinks she can match wits with my family? The mouse has grown fangs. We'll see about that. (Stalks out) Shampoo: Where is my bag, Mousse?...I can't find it. (She keeps looking in the same two places over and over) Mousse: (picks it up off the floor, gets out the glasses, puts them on her face.) Here they are. Shampoo: (looks at Mousse) How come you have been helping me so much? Mousse: Because I love you. Shampoo: I can't marry you, Mousse. Mousse: (sits down by her) Why? Shampoo: By village law, I MUST marry Ranma. Mousse: But you must kill him too, by village law. Shampoo: Marriage takes precedence. That's what great-grandmother says. Mousse: But he was engaged to Akane first. Shampoo: I can get rid of Akane. Mousse: Do you think he will love a woman who kills his fiancee? Shampoo: But, I...I love him. I need, want,...What can I do? Mousse: Why can't you love me? Shampoo: Why do you love me, Mousse? Mousse: I have always loved you. You are the vision of feminine perfection. You are strong, determined, beautiful, and smart. I think about you every minute. I can neither forget you nor win your heart, it seems, but I must strive for your love. Loving you is hell; loving you is heaven. You have been my delight and my torment. I burn for you; you cast me out. (puts an arm around her) I care for you, want you, need you, desire you; you scorn me, turn away, need another, desire someone else, yet I can not give up on you. Perhaps I am mad, but I love you more than anything else in the world. I would follow you to hell and back. I... (Shampoo is crying.) Shampoo: I wish I could love you...but I can't control my heart any more than you can control yours. I've been so bad to you...I never understood why you wouldn't give up and go away...I wanted to break your heart so you would go find someone who could love you...I'm sorry. Mousse: (Shampoo is bawling by now. He hugs her.) Don't cry, little kitten. Don't cry. (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Ranma is trying to figure out what to wear on the date. He goes through various items of clothing.) Ranma: I feel like a girl, going through all these outfits. (looks up at mirror, he sees girl self.) Aahhh! (The girl image moves independently of Ranma's motions, looks sad, and makes a beckoning motion. Ranma comes closer to the mirror and stares at it. The image's lips are moving, but no sound comes out. The door opens, it is Dr. Tofu.) Dr. Tofu: Feeling Narcisitic, are we? Ranma: (points at mirror) Do you, ah, see...well Tofu: (comes over and looks at mirror) Hmm, that looks like your female self. Ranma: Well, yes. Everytime I look into anything reflective, I see it. I even saw it in Akane's eyes at lunch. And I feel strange. I thought it was fatigue, but you see it too. Dr. Tofu: This never happened before the curse was broken, did it? Ranma: Not that I ever noticed. Tofu: Probably it is a side effect of the cure. Or maybe it reflects some psychological problem. Ranma: I'm not crazy! Tofu: For over a year, she (points at mirror) has been a part of your life. Now she has been cut out of it. Ranma: But she's me! was me! Tofu: She protected you from having to decide on who to marry, who you loved. Ranma: I... Tofu: She let you do things, go places, see things you never could have on your own. Ranma: You talk about her as if she was someone else. Tofu: In a sense, she was. Your curse let you experience life from both sides. As her, you did things the male Ranma never could, because "men don't do that. Its' okay if you are a woman." Ranma: I... Tofu: You curse was a source both of power and trouble. Or it could be a sign of something else... Ranma: What? Tofu: The curse may not be truly broken. Ranma: not broken? Dr. Tofu: none of the other cures ever worked forever. Maybe they were defective, and maybe not. Ranma: What do you mean, maybe not? Dr. Tofu: There may be no permanent cure, or it could have deeper significance. Ranma: Huh? Dr. Tofu: The curse gave you power, but at a price. You may need that power one day. Perhaps that is why you have never been cured successfully, the time has not yet come for it to end. Ranma: A purpose? Like what? Dr. Tofu: Like... (Kasumi opens the door.) Kasumi: Hello, Dr. Tofu (Dr. Tofu goes to estatic over the presence of Kasumi mode. Ranma looks aggravated.) Dr. Tofu: So nice to be seeing you Kasumi. What a coincidence, our meeting here that is. Kasumi: Would you like a snack? Dr. Tofu: Why yes, certainly. Lets' go. (walks into wall) Kasumi: (grabs his arm) This way, Dr. Tofu. Ranma: Wait, what about...(They exit). oh well, once he sees her, he isn't any use for hours anyway. (looks at the mirror). I don't understand you any better than I understand any other woman...(Image nods its head) Ranma: Are you trying to tell me something?(Image nods again) What? (it looks frustrated, beckons again. Ranma tries stepping into the mirror, bounces off it.) Oww. Well, maybe after the date, I can try figuring you out. Ahah! (picks up part of a suit.) Maybe we could dress up. That would put us in a different mood. (image smiles at him). You like that? (It smiles more) Great. Now an image of me under a curse is giving me fashion tips. (Scene cuts to Akane's room. Nabiki is trying to help Akane figure out something to wear. ) Akane: How about this(holds up a flower print shirt and some slacks)? Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Holds up a nice green dress) Nabiki: Nope. Akane: How about this? (Akane goes through about 6 more outfits. Nabiki keeps rejecting them.) Akane: So what do you think I should wear? Nabiki: Well, it shouldn't be too dressy because Ranma never dresses nicely, but you don't want to look like a complete slob either. You want to show off your figure, but you don't want to look like a slut. Hmmm. (Digs through piles of clothing, looks in drawers, wanders into closet) Akane: What do you think Ranma will wear? Nabiki: Probably that Red satin outfit he always wears. Or maybe jeans and a t-shirt, if he has any. Akane: It is a date. Nabiki: It is Ranma. Akane:... Nabiki: So why is he taking you out anyway. It's not the anniversary of your engagement is it? Akane: No. Nabiki: Did father or Mr. Saotome put him up to it? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Does this mean he's definitely marrying you instead of Ukyo? Akane: I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know where you are going on the date? Akane: Other than that I'm picking the restaraunt, I don't know. Nabiki: Do you know anything about this date at all? Akane: STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS AND HELP ME FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR! (Nabiki hands Akane some clothing. She heads over to the mirror to change, stepping just off screen.) Akane: Have you seen P-chan? Nabiki: no. He's lost again, I guess. Akane: Yes, he runs away a lot, but he always comes back. I hope he's not hungry. Nabiki: So, do you think Ranma will decide to marry Ukyo or you? Akane: I think he'll continue not to make up his mind who he wants to marry. (sounds a little peeved) Nabiki: I don't think he has an excuse anymore now that the curse is broken. Akane: If it lasts. Nabiki: What? Akane: None of the other cures took. He never made that much of an effort to find a cure anyway. Nabiki: You really think so. Akane: I don't know why. He always said he hated being under the curse, but why didn't he leave and go looking for a cure. Nabiki: Maybe he was afraid there was no cure and didn't want to have his hope taken away. Akane: Hmph. Nabiki: And maybe there was something here he didn't want to leave. Akane:...(looks surprised) (Cut briefly to--a bedroom where Ryoga is snoozing on a futon.--to a classroom where Ukyo and Gosunkugi are still clonked out--then to the hotel balcony overlooking the Tatewaki estate. The blond woman, the dapper man, and the bearded man are watching the sun set behind the mansion.) Woman: Well, did you set up the preparations for our revenge? Dapper Man: Yes Bearded Man: When the clock strikes six... (We hear a bell ring, obviously a clock bell. It peals six times. We hear explosions at the mansion, and gas starts pouring out of it. People begin fleeing the building coffing and choking.) Dapper Man: Sulfur at sunset. How sweet. Woman: I have laid the groundwork for part two of our vengeance. Bearded Man: Good. (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Shampoo is getting dressed up. Cologne is helping her.) Cologne: You need to get to Ranma's house before they eat dinner. Shampoo: Yes. Cologne: You haven't forgotten the plan have you? Shampoo: No. Cologne: And don't take off your glasses or you'll end up bring Ryoga back here instead of Ranma. Shampoo: But the glasses, they... Cologne: You want to end up talking to plants like Mousse always does. Shampoo: Not anymore. Cologne: Yes. I need to find out how he did that so we can fix your sight... (We cut to the Tendo dojo. Akane and Nabiki are coming down the stairs. Akane ended up wearing the flower print shirt and jeans that were her first choice. Nabiki comes around the corner from the stairs before Akane does. She sees Ranma standing in his suit, talking with Genma. Nabiki turns, grabs Akane before she rounds the corner, and begins running up the stairs dragging Akane) Akane: What are you doing? (down the hallway...) Nabiki: He's in a suit! Akane: What? Nabiki: (Round the corner into Akane's room) He's in a suit. We have to find something nice! (frantic clothing search begins.) Akane: I thought you said he wouldn't wear anything nice. (sounds frantic) Nabiki: So sue me! (sounds frantic too) (We cut to Ranma and Genma in the living room.) Ranma: Akane said she would find a good restarant. Genma: It is good to see you trust her judgement. Ranma: It can't be worse than her cooking. (Akane and Nabiki enter from the staircase now. Akane is wearing a nice blue formal dress with white gloves, a flower in her hair and gold earrings on her ears. She has a slightly embarrassed smile on her face. Ranma is in shock.) Akane: Ready to go Ranma? Ranma: Uh, yes. (Cut to closing credits). (end part 6) (Start part 7) (We see Shampoo at the front of the Tendo Dojo. Her bike is parked nearby. She is carrying a covered bowl and a bottle of some liquid. She walks up to the door, then takes off the glasses she is wearing. She knocks.) (The door opens. Its' Kasumi.) Kasumi: Hello, Shampoo. How are you? Shampoo: Nabiki? Kasumi: No. This is Kasumi. Shampoo: Is Ranma here? Kasumi: He's...not here. Shampoo: Where is he? Kasumi: I'm not sure. Shampoo: I wanted to invite him to eat dinner at the Nekohanten, tonight. Kasumi: Wherever he is, I think he will be eating dinner there. Shampoo: Oh. Great-Grandmother made this for you as a gift for making me breakfast. (holds up bowl and bottle). The recipe has been handed down in the family for generations. Kasumi: (smiles as she takes it) Thank you. Maybe I'll serve it to the family with dinner tonight. Shampoo: (eyes get bigger for a moment). I...there's only enough for one person, I think. Kasumi: Well, I'll save it for breakfast. Shampoo: Bye. (heads for her bicycle. Gets on it, pedals erratically away.) Kasumi: I'd better check on Ryoga and make sure he wakes up in time for dinner. (She smiles and turns and goes inside.) (Credit sequence: Queen's It's a kind of Magic is the theme song, during which we see Akane walking to school while Ranma walks along on top of the fence. Then we see Shampoo bicycling straight at him on top of the fence. He falls off the fence and rolls down the slope towards the river. We see Akane jump over the fence. Shampoo jumps off the fence on her bike. Down by the river, Ryoga looks nervously at the water as Gosunkugi is dancing around him and chanting. Ukyo sits nearby with her spatula, looking on amusedly. Ranma crashes into Ryoga and they both fall into the river. Shampoo tries to brake, skids on the grass and goes in. They surface as Ranma-chan, P-chan, and Shampoo-cat. Ukyo begins fishing them out with her spatula. Mousse shows up, tries to pick up Shampoo-cat. She scratches him, they both fall in the river again. Mousse surfaces, now a duck. Ukyo fishes them out again. Then Akane reaches them with a tea pot. She pours some on Ranma, then slaps him while he looks confused. Then the Credit sign comes up: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part seven: Ranma and Akane's Date (We see the sun has set and the stars are coming out. We briefly see Kasumi feeding something to Ryoga, who wakes up. We see Kodachi rushing about the Kuno mansion throwing things at servants and yelling while Tatewaki goes about holding his nose. We see Mousse sitting on the roof of the Nekohanten looking at the stars, who shift into an outline of Shampoo's face. We see Ukyo and Gosunkugi still snoring away in the now dark classroom at Furinkan High. We see Happosai fleeing across a rooftop from a short stout angry middle-aged woman with a Sake bottle in one hand and a fan with a rising sun on it in the other. Finally, we see Ranma and Akane. They are getting off a bus. Both are quite nicely dressed. Ranma is wearing a dark blue suit(which doesn't look natural, but does look good), and Akane is wearing a nice blue formal dress with white gloves, a flower in her hair and gold earrings on her ears.) Ranma: So...where are we eating? I'm starving. Akane: (starts to glare at him, catches herself) It's right over there. A very nice place called Ma Maison. It serves french food. Ranma: Well, anything's better than ....(catches himself) sounds good. (They go in and approach a waitress. She is a tall, thin regal looking brunette in her mid twenties.) Waitress: Table for two? Ranma: Yes. Waitress: Follow me. (leads them over to a table) Here you go. (Looks at them assessingly.) Hmm. First Date? (Ranma and Akane turn and stare at each other for a moment) Ranma: Yes.... Akane: No... Ranma: Well, sort of. Akane: True. We're... Ranma: Engaged, but it was... Akane: arranged. Waitress: How long? Akane: Two years. Waitress: And this is your first date? Ranma: Well, sort of. Waitress: sort of? Ranma: Well, the first voluntary one that went well...so far anyway. Waitress: Whatever. Well, here's the menu. I can wait for you, or you can call me when you're ready to order. (Scene cuts to a hotel room. There are a bunch of maps and ground plans on the table, around which sit the Dapper Man, the Bearded Man, and the Woman. Dapper Man: Do we have everything we need for phase 2? Bearded Man: Well, it took me a while to get the knock out gas, but those contacts the Tendo kid gave us came through once I showed them the cash. Woman: I know her usual routine at school. She's quite an athelete. Dapper Man: Can she fight? Woman: She practices something called "martial gymnastics". She has quite a reputation for attacking people before the matches to put them out of the running though. Very ruthless. (Camera pulls back. We see Kodachi is on the roof of the room over the table with a mallet clutched in her teeth. Her fingers are dug into the ceiling. She is glaring down at them and listening.) Bearded Man: How dangerous could she be if she has to cheat to win at those contests? Woman: She's apparently obsessed with this Ranma character she sent us to "rescue". He is engaged to someone else, but she won't rest until she gets him. Dapper Man: Hmmm. How much influence does their family have with local police? (Kodachi has had enough. She drops down and hammers the quite surprised Dapper Man's face into the table. He groans and collapses. The Bearded man pulls a gun, as does the Woman.) Bearded Man: Where'd she come from? (He aims to fire. Kodachi whips out a ribbon on a pole, tangles the gun with it, and flips it away. The woman shoots at her, she leaps onto the Bearded Man's head and tosses several ten-pins at her.) Bearded Man: Bad Move. (He tries to grab her feet. He does. She drops forward, rolls, and pulls him through it, then flings him at the Woman.) Bearded Man and Woman: OOOFFFF! Woman: Don't let her get to close to you. Bearded Man: I'll try to remember that. (Kodachi now ribbons and extracts the Woman's gun. They try to circle her and come from two sides.) Kodachi: How Pathetic. No skill at all. Bearded Man: We figured out what you were up to with that kid you wanted us to "rescue" Kodachi: I shall have him through you or despite you. (As they close in, she leaps, grabs the bearded man's shoulders, flips over him, then back kicks him into the woman. They fall, but stagger back up.) Kodachi: Still standing. Not too weak. (She now throws a lot of ten-pins at them. The woman collapses, but the bearded man keeps coming.) Bearded Man: You'll have to do better than that. Kodachi: Okay. (Ribbons the unconscious dapper man. Then she jumps back away from the approaching bearded man and swings the dapper man around the room, striking the Bearded man with him. He falls, but starts to get up again.) Bearded Man: (checks the dapper man, who now has a big head bruise) I knew this job was a bad idea. Kodachi: Reneging on our contract was a worse one. (She tosses a large ball at him. He takes it in the chin and face and finally collapses) Kodachi: So, the Tendo girl helped them plot revenge on me. I have another stop to make tonight. (scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Everyone(Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun, Genma, and Ryoga) is at the dinner table. Dinner is exceptionally large and diverse tonight. The men start pigging out, while the women are a little more dignified.) Soun: Ah! Soon it will all be settled. The dojo will be in good hands with your son and my daughter, Genma. Genma: Yes. Of course, you still need to find husbands for your other two daughters. Nabiki: I'm going to college before I even think about getting married. Kasumi: So when is your wife arriving, Mr. Saotome? Genma: Two days from now. Soun and I decided to wait on her arrival until after this marriage business is properly settled. Nabiki: You really think it will be settled in two days. Soun: I'm sure that once he has had a chance to calmly make his choice, Ranma will choose to marry Akane. (At the far end of the table, we see Ryoga start and choke on his food, having finally clued in to the conversation at the other end of the table.) Ryoga: (stands up) Ranma is marrying Akane?! Soun: They've gone on a date tonight, and tomorrow night he is going out with Ukyou, so he can decide between them. But I am sure he will choose my daughter. Ryoga: But I...how can you be sure? Soun: He knows his duty to his father. This was arranged long ago. And I can think of no better man to marry my youngest daughter. Ryoga: (looks crushed) I..I wanted...NO! (Turns and runs out the door) Kasumi: Oh dear. Soun: I hope he doesn't disrupt their date. Nabiki: He'll never find them. He doesn't know where they are. Kasumi: I should have let him sleep, but I was afraid he would get hungry. Nabiki: He slept all day. He didn't seem like that type. Kasumi: A really good meal will do that to you sometimes. Genma: I'll go after him. Nabiki: Let me take care of this. This should be fun. (runs out) (Scene cuts briefly to: Ukyo and Gosunkugi still snoring. Starlight makes their faces seem to glow. Mousse on the rooftop of the Nekohanten. Shampoo waitressing unhappily in her glasses. Then at Ma Maison--Ranma and Akane have been served. They are eating and talking.) Ranma: I think this is the first nice meal I've had in a long time that wasn't interrupted by an attack or forced me to make people mad at me by chosing to eat it. Akane: It is good. Ranma:... Akane:... (It is obvious they are not sure what to say next, but neither wants to just pig out and ignore the other one.) Ranma:You...you look really nice in that dress. Akane: (Warily) and... Ranma: You really know how to look good when you try. Akane: I...uh...You look really nice in your suit. You so rarely dress up. I was really surprised. Ranma: I...well...I had some advice...sort of. Akane: sort of advice? Ranma: It was my idea, but she confirmed it. (has sudden look of "Me and my big mouth") Akane: Who, Kasumi? Ranma: Uh, well, no, it... Akane: Who?(looks a little suspicious) Ranma: (looks around)See that mirror over there. Akane: Yes. Ranma: What do I look like in it to you? (We see the mirror. First we see Ranma and Akane as normal. Then we flash to a slightly different angle and see Ranma as a woman, though still in the suit, and Akane.) Akane: Normal. Well, normal as you ever are. Ranma: Well, I keep seeing what I looked like as a woman when I look in anything reflective. It even happened at lunch... Akane: Better the mirror than your body. Ranma: I think it may mean the curse isn't really broken. Akane:... Ranma: The trigger may have changed or it may come back after a while. Akane: Not another temporary cure. Ranma: I've been wanting to ask Dad if he keeps seeing Pandas or R...RRRR... Akane: RRRR? Ranma: Nothing. Maybe Dr. Tofu was right. Akane: About what? Ranma: He thought maybe there was some purpose behind all these curses from the pools and they couldn't be broken until the purpose was accomplished. Akane: But what purpose? Ranma: I don't know. (Silence again. They eat in quiet for a few moments.) (We cut to the Tendo Dojo. Kasumi is cleaning the kitchen. We hear a loud thump in the living room. We hear a body fall.) Soun: (From the living room) Hey, why did...(WHAM! We hear another body fall.) (Kasumi quietly gets the food Shampoo left her and puts it on the table.) Kasumi: (as door opens behind her, revealing Kodachi) Would you like something to eat? You look like you've been exercising. Kodachi: I'm not that stupid. I know too many food tricks to fall for that one. Kasumi: A girl can dream (Screen cuts as we Kodachi toss a gymnastics ball at Kasumi. (Scene cuts to a movie theatre. Ranma and Akane are rather better dressed than everyone else. Akane has a big popcorn bucket in her lap; they each have a soda. They are watching UY 5: Boy Meets Girl.) Akane: He loves her...Why won't he say so? Ranma: Because she's trying to force him to say it. He's not afraid of saying I love you...he said it to Shinobu. He just doesn't like having his free will taken away. Akane: But he never says I love you to her, even though he does. Ranma: It's not an easy thing to say, at anytime. If he ever says he loves her, all his friends will try to kill him because they want her. If he doesn't, she gets angry and zaps him. But whenever she really needs him, he comes running to her rescue. Akane: Kind of like us. Ranma: (Turns and looks at her)... Akane: Everybody except my family and your dad wants to drag us apart. Gosunkugi and Kuno and most of the other guys in the school want me, Ukyo and Shampoo and Kodachi want you. Mousse attacks you for being chased by Shampoo. We fight all the time, even though we're engaged. But you've always tried to defend me and stand up for me, and I've fought for you, too. I just don't know... Ranma: We haven't hit each other yet on this date. (smiles) Akane: True. Ranma: And we haven't been attacked yet.(In the back of the theatre, we see a familiar bokken wielding figure enter the theatre. He raises his sword.) Kuno: SAOTOME! PREPARE TO DIE FOR ... The Theatre as one: SHHHH!!!!! (Hordes of ushers mob Kuno and drag him away) Kuno: SAOTOME! I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU! Ranma: Well, at least we'll get to finish the movie. Akane: You're not going to run off to fight him now. Ranma: I...I'd rather be with you than be in a fight. Akane: (Smiles) ... Ranma:...especially with a blowhard like Kuno. (Scene cuts to the streets of the city. Ryoga is wandering aimlessly with a sad look on his face.) Ryoga: Akane! Where are you? (Shouted) (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Mousse is still on the roof. Nabiki runs up below.) Nabiki: Mousse! Mousse: (Leans over the roof) Yes? Nabiki: How would you like to earn some extra money? My dad will gladly pay you if you help me with something. Mousse: (leaps down) All right. I will need some extra money if Shampoo and I are ever to get married. Nabiki: Good. Now here's my plan. (scene cuts to the school. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are still asleep. Gosunkugi is mumbling in his sleep.) Gosunkugi:Akane...but can't have her...why Ranma...can't use magic...don't want to be alone...I wish there was someone else...to love... (A Shadow falls across them. It is the shadow of a woman in a leotard, with a rose in one hand. Scene cuts to the Movie theatre. The credits are rolling on the movie.) Ranma: Well, time to go. Akane: (getting up) What are you going to do about Kuno? Ranma: He won't take no for an answer. Akane: You're going to fight him? Ranma: If I still turned into a girl... Akane: you could just walk out of here, except then he'd hit on you. And you'd ruin your suit. Ranma: I don't want to turn our date into another ruined one. Akane: It has been nice so far. Ranma: Well, he can't watch all the exits...(sees the side exit) Akane: Hmmm... (They head over to the side exit and step out into the alley way. Then Ranma hefts Akane and they leap onto the roof. They peer over the edge at Kuno standing in front of the movie theatre. ) Ranma: Have a nice wait. (He lifts Akane and they spring from rooftop to rooftop.) Akane: Too bad you can't fly. Ranma: This is almost as good. Besides, birds have no hands and you wouldn't want me to carry you with my mouth. (They laugh and smile.) (Cut to a wandering Ryoga.) Ryoga: I can not find Akane. My heart is in ashes. (Suddenly, across the intersection, we see Ranma and Akane go by on the ground.) Ryoga: Akane! (He runs forward) (He gets closer. Ranma and Akane don't look quite right. They are dressed as we last saw them, but Ranma seems a little too tall, and Akane looks just a bit off.) Ryoga: Akane, are you really going to marry Ranma? ("Akane" and "Ranma" start running. Ryoga starts chasing them.) Ryoga: Ranma, bring her back! Akane, don't run. (We see an overhead view of them running through the maze of streets. Then we cut to a park where the real Ranma and Akane are. A river runs through it. They are standing under a tree, looking out at the river and the stars.) Ranma: I've been thinking... Akane: That's a first. Ranma: (Stares at her, looks a bit mad) What'd you say that for? Akane: (looks embarrassed) I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Instinct? Ranma: Thanks a lot. Hmph. (Leans against the tree) Akane: (moves closer, almost touches his shoulder, but stops) I..uh...What did you want to tell me? Ranma: If my curse came back, and we discovered it could never be cured, would you still be willing to marry me? Akane: (looks shocked) Ranma: Would you? Akane: But you're cured. Ranma: I can see her in mirrors, in your eyes, in the river...I don't think its over, or why would I keep seeing what I looked like as a woman? Akane: I don't know. Ranma: I've had so many "cures" fail. Would you marry me if I was cursed forever? Akane: Well, we could save on clothing by sharing, but we'd need more... Ranma: Akane, are you listening to me? Akane: Yes. Ranma: Then answer the question! Akane: Don't yell at me! (starting to get mad) Ranma: I'm not yelling!(reciprocating. We start to hear faint cries in the distance). Akane: Ranma no Baka! Ranma: Uncute! Akane: Hentai! Ranma: Unfeminine! Akane: Baka! Hentai! Ranma: (begins to laugh. The distant cries are joined by running noises) Akane: What's so funny! (looks mad, but a little confused) Ranma: If I had a hundred yen for every time we've, we've (laughing too much to continue) Akane: what?! (looks more confused now) Ranma: (sobers a little, but not much) for every time we've used those same four insults on each other, I'd be richer than Kuno. (parroting) Ranma no Baka! Uncute! Hentai! Unfeminine! (laughs some more) We really need to think of some new insults (laughs more) Akane: (Smiles a little) well maybe... Ranma: Otherwise our grandchildren will say, "But mom, if we go to see our grandparents they'll just sit around and call each other Baka and Uncute the whole time. That's boring."(laughs more) Akane: And the parents will say "You should imagine what growing up with them was like." (starts giggling) (They stagger around laughing as the chase sounds get closer) Distant Voice: RANMA! STOP RUNNING SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE BEATING YOU DESERVE! Another Distant Voice: Ah, Akane, so beautiful as we run in the moonlight. Let me kiss you. Distant Voice 1: NO!!!!!!! (We now see the fake Akane and Ranma from the earlier scene. They are pretending to kiss, but Ryoga who is chasing them can't tell from behind them. The fake Ranma is carrying the fake Akane now. The fake Ranma spots the real one, who spots him in return.) Ranma: What the... Akane:... (The runners stop. Ryoga stares back and forth.) Ryoga: Hey, what's going on here? Ranma: (points at Fake Ranma) Who are you? Fake Ranma: (points at Ranma) Who are you? Both: I am Saotome Ranma. Ryoga: (looks seriously confused) What about... Both Akanes: I am Tendo Akane. She's an imposter. Ryoga: Now, there can only be one real Akane and Ranma, now who... Fake Akane: Are you sure? Ryoga: What? Akane: Eh? Fake Akane (becoming more confident in tone) Maybe you're dreaming this whole thing. Maybe you want there to be two Akanes, so that you don't have to compete with Ranma, but your subconcious feels guilty so you made another Ranma too. Akane: (to Ranma) What is she talking about? Ranma: I haven't got a clue. I think I've seen whoever that is pretending to be me somewhere before. Akane: The fake me looks familiar too. Ranma: Ryoga is a sucker for disguises, though. Fake Akane: You saw Ranma carrying me away from you, the way he always does, so you created the image of another Akane, a fake Akane, who is over there. Would the real Ranma do anything as romantic as taking Akane out to look at the stars over the river? Ranma: Hey! Fake Akane: (really into it now) Would the real Akane stand so close to Ranma unless he grabbed her and was carrying her off? (Ranma and Akane suddenly look at each other and realize they are now standing in rather close proximity, but don't move quite yet. They look very confused.) Fake Akane: You're just imagining them, Ryoga. Ranma: I'm as real as you are! (Akane grabs his shoulder) Akane: Let her keep talking. If they lead Ryoga away, you won't have to ruin your suit in a fight. Ranma: I can't let them risk their necks for me, especially if they say I'm a figment of Ryoga's imagination. (We see Ryoga. He looks really confused.) Akane: At least let's see what she's getting at. I think I recognize that voice. Fake Akane: (to fake Ranma) Run like the wind. (to all) Help, help Ryoga! He's taking me away....(Fake Ranma takes off running.) Ryoga: NO!!!!! Ranma: We've got to help those idiots. Ryoga will kill them. Akane: Why is he so angry? (they start to run, but Akane can't run well in the shoes she is wearing. Ranma picks her up) Ranma: He's in...I... Akane: He's...? Ranma: Maybe he's finally flipped. (They run down the street. Fake Ranma leaps to a rooftop and the chase proceeds from roof to roof. Every so often, he grabs a tile, a rock, or even dirt and tosses it at Ryoga, who avoids it all. ) Akane: Hmm, I wonder if that ponytail is real... (They all leap across a street. Fake Ranma briefly splashes his foot in a rain gutter and stumbles, but gets up before Ryoga reaches him. Clouds begin to cover the sky. The chase continues. ) Akane: I know I've heard that woman's voice Ranma: Me too. Akane: not.... Ranma: Nabiki? Akane: But why? (They run to the edge of a roof. Fake Ranma jumps off. Ryoga jumps after him. Ranma stops at the edge. We see Fake Ranma land on the diving board of the pool below the edge of the roof and spring back up to the roof top. Ryoga falls into the pool. Akane turns to look at the Fake Ranma and Akane. Ranma sees P-chan bob to the surface of the pool and swim out of it. Akane looks back at the pool, but doesn't notice P-chan in the grass.) Akane: Where'd Ryoga go? Ranma:...(look of fear) I knew it. Akane: knew what? Fake Akane: (quietly) Run you two idiots before Ryoga gets back up here. We're trying to insure your date isn't ruined. If you leave, we may get him to believe he imagined the whole double Ranma/Akane bit? Akane: Where did Ryoga go? Fake Akane: (moans) Go! Go! Go! We'll take good care of him! I'll bill you later! (Ranma grabs Akane and runs.) Ranma: It was Nabiki! Akane: Who's impersonating you? Ranma: He's good, whoever he is. (Back at the pool. We see Fake Akane and Ranma down in the grass by P-chan.) Fake Akane: look Ranma, its' P-chan. I've been looking for him. (Fake Ranma fishes Ryoga's clothes out of the pool) Fake Akane: So where is Ryoga? Fake Ranma: (winks at P-chan, hides clothes behind tree) I don't know. Maybe he went mad and left. (suddenly, the now basically dry P-chan turns a nice normal pinkish pig color. Fake Akane starts.) Fake Akane: Hey! (Suddenly Ryoga reverts to Human form. Boy is he embarrassed.) Fake Akane: AHHHHH!!!!!! Fake Ranma: (stares at him) What the? Fake Akane: P-chan is... Ryoga: AHHHH!!!! (runs behind tree, clothing donning sounds) Fake Akane: You've been...every night sometimes... Ryoga: I...uh.... Fake Akane: Hentai! Ryoga: (pales) Akane, I... Fake Akane: If I ever see you again, I'm going to kill you for what you've done! Ryoga: But I never meant to... Fake Akane: (Boy does she look mad) I've done some things for m...I've done some shady things, but to lie like that... Ryoga: NOOOOOO!!!!!!(flees the area) Fake Akane(nabiki): He's been lying to my sister, sneaking into her bed as a pig! Fake Ranma(Mousse): I... Nabiki as Akane: I don't know whether to kill him, blackmail him, or ask him how he's gotten away with it for so long. Mousse as Ranma: (stares at her) Nabiki as Akane: Well, that will keep him away for the rest of the night. Mousse as Ranma: I think it would be better not to tell Akane. She would kill him. Nabiki as Akane: We'll have to think about it. They'll owe me big for this night's work, one way or another. (We see a shadow from the rooftop behind them. It is the shadow of a pony-tailed woman in a body hugging outfit with a bouquet of flowers. It moves away.) (We see Akane and Ranma on a rooftop somewhere. They are lying on their backs near each other looking at the stars.) Akane: What's wrong? You look so glum. Ranma: I would have to break an oath to tell you. Akane: You can't even tell your fiancee? Ranma: I couldn't tell my own brother if I had one. I made a mistake a long time ago and this relates to my atonement for it. Akane: Why won't you share your secrets with me? (looks a little angry) Ranma: I can't...not this one. You would... Akane: Would What! (looks angrier) Ranma: explode. Akane: (Sits up, turns away from him) You never trust me with anything! You won't tell me anything, you won't let me cook for you, (starts to cry) you flirt with other women, and I can't make you stop... Ranma: I... Akane: (crying more) in the bath with Shampoo, you'd rather eat Ukyou's cooking than mine, you even let yourself be engaged to Nabiki... Ranma: Don't cry. Akane: You don't care if I cry. Ranma: Yes, I do. Akane: Why? Ranma: I don't want to make my fiancee cry. (They stare at each other for a moment. Akane begins to perk up.) Ranma: (Comes over to her, kneels in front of her) Want to know a secret? Akane: What! Ranma: Kasumi baked us a special cake for when we get home from our date, but she doesn't know that I know about it. Akane: She did? Ranma: She's no good at being sneaky. Akane: That's not much of a secret. Ranma: Its' a start. We'd better get home before it gets too late. Akane: (looks happier) Okay. (Scene cuts to them returning to the Dojo. There is a note on the table. It says--) Note: I have your family and your goons. If Ranma doesn't agree to marry me, I will give them to my pet crocodile as playmates. Love, Kuno Kodachi. P.S. The Wedding is scheduled for this saturday. Ranma: I guess we'll have to wait on the cake. Akane: (hits him with a chair) Baka! (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (end part 7) (Start part 8) (We start with a wavy scene--obviously a flashback--voiceover by Akane: Akane Voiceover: I should have known that a date with Ranma wouldn't end well. (We see Akane and Ranma enter the dojo. The dish and thermos that Shampoo brought to Kasumi is still on the kitchen table. There is a note on the table next to it. It says--) Note: I have your family and your goons. If Ranma doesn't agree to marry me, I will give them to my pet crocodile as playmates. Love, Kuno Kodachi. P.S. The Wedding is scheduled for this saturday. Ranma: I guess we'll have to wait on the cake. Akane: (hits him with a chair) Baka! Ranma: Uncute! (lashes out with a series of rapid blows. Somehow Akane jumps onto his arms and kicks him in the face, then leaps onto the table.) Oww! (He falls down) Akane: Ha! Ranma: Let's see you dodge this! (He leaps over her and back kicks. Unfortunately, she ducks and swipes his other leg out from under him. He falls off the table.) Getting quicker, I see. Akane: Getting slower, I see. Ranma: Why, you! (Starts to run forward, then rolls under the table to come up behind her. Unfortunately, she has already turned around and punches him into the wall.) Oof! (Akane opens up the dish Shampoo left. It has a cake in it. She tosses the cake at Ranma as he gets up. He blocks most of it, but some of it lands in his mouth. He quickly chews it up and swallows it.) Ranma: Hmm. Good cake. Obviously, you didn't bake it. Akane: I HATE YOU! (She leaps on him, pummeling him at high speed, then hefts him and kicks him out the door before he can react. Then she notices a note that fell to the ground when she picked up the plate. It says "I hope you enjoy the cake. It's one of great-grandmother's special recipies. Shampoo.") Akane: Oh no! Ranma ate some of this. I wonder what the stuff in this thermos does. (opens it. It looks like herb tea.) Hmm. Smells safe. Probably not, though. (Ranma staggers in the door) Ranma: Thirsty! I'm so thirsty! (acts like typical horror movie zombie closing in on Akane and the thermos) Must have herb tea. Thirsty! (Akane backs up) Akane: No Ranma! It's more magic food from Shampoo! Ranma: Must have Herb Tea! Must have Herb Tea! (Chases her around the room) Akane: Get back or I'll throw it out the window! (Stands by window) Ranma: Must have Herb Tea! (closing in) Akane: There it goes! (Acts like she throws it out window, actually hides it behind her) Ranma: Herb Tea! (out the window he goes) Akane: I'll make some for when he gets back. Meanwhile, I'll hide this one. (Hides it inside one of the counters) So what goes in Herb Tea anyway? (Credit sequence: Queen's It's a kind of Magic is the theme song, during which we see Akane walking to school while Ranma walks along on top of the fence. Then we see Shampoo bicycling straight at him on top of the fence. He falls off the fence and rolls down the slope towards the river. We see Akane jump over the fence. Shampoo jumps off the fence on her bike. Down by the river, Ryoga looks nervously at the water as Gosunkugi is dancing around him and chanting. Ukyo sits nearby with her spatula, looking on amusedly. Ranma crashes into Ryoga and they both fall into the river. Shampoo tries to brake, skids on the grass and goes in. They surface as Ranma-chan, P-chan, and Shampoo-cat. Ukyo begins fishing them out with her spatula. Mousse shows up, tries to pick up Shampoo-cat. She scratches him, they both fall in the river again. Mousse surfaces, now a duck. Ukyo fishes them out again. Then Akane reaches them with a tea pot. She pours some on Ranma, then slaps him while he looks confused. Then the Credit sign comes up: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part eight: The Rescuers (We see Akane make Herb tea. She boils some water, puts teabags in it, then pours a little of everything from the spice drawer into it, including three odd bottles labeled--Saved Passion Spice, Kasumi's special spice, ask her before using, and Compassion spice.She is quite obviously not looking at the labels, but just trying everything.) Akane: I hope he likes it. This took a lot of effort. (She stirs it with a big two pronged fork.) Hmmm. Smells good. (She pours him a cup) Ranma: (Crashes through door) Herb Tea! Need Herb Tea now! (Still zombie like) Akane: (points to glass) Right there! Ranma: Hmmm. Smells good. (Akane smiles) Ranma: (Drinks the glass. Pours a second. Drinks it. Pours one more. We can see that the stuff is rather molasses like with all the stuff Akane added. He doesn't drink the third glass yet.) Hmm. Good(zombie voice) I...Hey, that was good.(Normal voice) Akane: It was? Ranma: Yes. I really needed that. (looks around) Hey how'd I get in here? Akane: Let me try some. Ranma: (absentmindedly hands her the glass) I feel a bit wierd. Akane: (Drinks it down) Hmm. That is good, although I think I added too much spice. It isn't very liquid, anymore. Ranma: I shouldn't have hit you earlier (goofy grin on face) Akane: (starting to get a odd look) I started it. Ranma: (leaps at her) But I'm going to finish it. Akane: Hey! (He grabs her into an embrace. He is grinning like a mad man. She is starting to get a silly grin herself.) Ranma: I have something to tell you, Tendo Akane. Akane: What? (They smile at each other in a way that they normally never would.) Ranma: I love you, Tendo Akane. Akane: Guess what? (giggles.) Ranma: What? Akane: I love you too, Saotome Ranma. (Their heads come together. They kiss. This goes on for a long time. Suddenly the rest of the magical spices kick in. They pass out on the kitchen floor, still embracing with their heads face to face(Ranma on bottom).) (Scene cuts to next morning. Kodachi is checking her captives. Genma and Soun are tied up back to back in one corner. Kasumi, who now has a bruise on one cheek is tied up back to back with Nabiki. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the Woman are veritably swathed in chains, handcuffs, ropes, and bombs. They hang over a shark pit. Ryoga is a pig in a cage. Mousse has been turned into a duck and locked in a large aquarium. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are tied up back to back, but they are still asleep. Gosunkugi is still mumbling...) Gosunkugi: How will I tell Belldandy that I love her....No Urd, I won't use one of your love potions... Kodachi: What is that idiot mumbling about? He's been talking in his sleep ever since I dragged him here. Nabiki: You'd better let us go! Kodachi: or what? Genma: My son will destroy you if any of us come to harm. Kodachi: Ha! He will be mine, or you will all be fish food, starting with my untrustworthy employees. Dapper Man: You can't hold us forever. Inspector Zenigata will find us soon, and he won't look kindly on you kidnapping people. Kodachi: You want to go to jail, Mr. Lupin III. When I hired you, I knew all about your criminal record. You'll be in jail for a very long time. You too, Jigen, and you, Fujiko. If I don't get to feed you to the sharks, I'll be feeding you to the courts instead. Bearded Man(Jigen): You'll regret this. Kodachi: I never regret anything I do. That's why I have so much fun! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!(utterly maniacal laughter) Gosunkugi: Kanrinin-san! Wait!....I'll save you, Akane-chan!... (Scene cuts to Tendo Dojo. Shampoo has just parked her bike in front of the Tendo dojo. She takes off her glasses, puts them in her pocket, gets out another thermos, then knocks. No answer. She waits, then opens the door. Inside she sees Akane and Ranma still asleep on the floor. Shampoo: Who is that? (peers through fuzzy vision) Nabiki and Ryoga? I never would have guessed. (wanders into the house, knocking over furniture and bumping into things.) Shampoo: Ranma! Ranma! Ranma! Where are you? (She still has the thermos) Ranma: (Still on floor, muttering in sleep)Hello, Nabiki. Hello, Ranma-chan. Hello, pop. Hello,... Shampoo: (Turns around) Ranma? I hear you, but where are you? Akane: (also muttering in Sleep)Kuno, you marry the pig-tail girl. I'm not marrying you, I'm marrying ... Shampoo: (looks in kitchen, puts on glasses, sees Ranma and Akane) AAHHH!!! (She pulls a sword, charges in, then realizes they are sleeping. She tries to pry them apart. They won't let go. She pulls up one of Ranma's eyebrows.) Ahhh. Looks like they ate some sleep spice. Good thing I brought Break Spell Tea so Kasumi couldn't pull one over on me again. (She pours some of the tea down Ranma's throat. His eyes pop open. He realizes he is holding Akane very close on the floor and vice versa. ) Ranma: Ahh! (Tries to get loose from Akane, but can't pry her still sleeping form loose from himself.) Hey, what's going on? Wake up! Shampoo: I think she ate sleep spice like you. Ramma: But I'm the one who ate the cake you made. Shampoo: I didn't put sleep spice in the cake. I put a concoction that made you crave herb tea. The herb tea had the sleep spice and some other stuff in it, like hair loss powder. Ranma: I remember drinking some herb tea last night!(grabs his head, feels his hair, sighs in relief) Shampoo: (points at tea pot on table) It was in a thermos, not a pot. Someone else did this to you. Ranma: (looks at Akane) Akane? But it tasted good. Shampoo: (sniffs tea) Hmm. Looks like molasses. Smells like just about everything, including...sugar, mint, sleep spice, and uh oh. Ranma: Uh oh? Shampoo: She gave you some? Ranma: Yes. Shampoo: Did you give her some? Ranma: She took a cup I poured. Shampoo: (Evil grin) Hmm. I'll take this home for great-grandmother to analyze. Ranma: I need your help. Kodachi kidnapped everyone last night. We have to rescue them. Akane: (talking in sleep) Mmm. Ranma, you're so handsome... Shampoo: So you spent the night on the floor with her? Ranma: I didn't plan it that way. Akane must have accidentally made magic tea. Shampoo: some accident. So what will you give me, if I help you? Ranma: Uh, well, I'll, I'll go out on a date with you. Shampoo: two dates. Ranma: alright. Two dates. Shampoo: Right. (pries Akane off Ranma, puts her in a chair, feeds her some tea.) Akane: Hmm. That was...Hey, the sun is shining! Ranma: We slept all night after we drank that herb tea. Akane: I guess I must have put too much of something in it. Ranma: We've got to go rescue everyone from Kodachi. Shampoo has agreed to help. Akane: Why are you wearing glasses, shampoo? Ranma: They look like Moose's glasses. Shampoo: (Quickly takes them off) Glasses? What glasses? Akane: (Hmmm.) (Scene cuts to a little while later. Akane and Ranma have both changed into Judo outfits. Shampoo is carrying a sword and an ornate mace. They are running across roof tops.) Shampoo: (Thinking) I hope Ranma hasn't figured out that I can't see very well now. Ranma: (Thinking) Did I really kiss Akane last night? My memory is kinda fuzzy after the cake hit me... Akane: (Thinking) Did I really kiss Ranma last night? What did I put in that tea? Ranma:...(looks at Akane) Akane:...(looks at Ranma) (We cut to Kodachi's lair. Genma and Soun are tied up back to back in one corner. Kasumi, who now has a bruise on one cheek is tied up back to back with Nabiki. The Bearded Man, the Dapper Man, and the Woman are veritably swathed in chains, handcuffs, ropes, and bombs. They hang over a shark pit. Ryoga is a pig in a cage. Mousse has been turned into a duck and locked in a large aquarium. Ukyou and Gosunkugi are tied up back to back, but they are still asleep. Gosunkugi is still mumbling.) Gosunkugi: No, don't do it Ranma. Marry Ukyou so I can marry Akane... Kodachi: Who are you talking to? Gosunkugi: Akane? Kodachi: I am not that little tomboy! Gosunkugi: B-ko! Kodachi: What? Gosunkugi: A-ko is coming to rescue me, you'll see... Kodachi: What world are you living in? Kuno: (enters) Face it sister, you have finally met someone madder than you! Kodachi: What are you doing here? Kuno: I live here, too. Kodachi: Good point. Kuno: So why hasn't Saotome responded to your challenge yet? Nabiki: He's probably sneaking up behind you right now. Kodachi: (spins around) Nope. (Kuno taps Gosunkugi on the head.) Kuno: Anybody home? Gosunkugi: Never anger a sorceror (still asleep) Kuno: A sorceror, eh? Gosunkugi: I sleep now to regain my strength. Kodachi: Hmm. I could use a sorceror. Could you use a spell to keep Ranma from escaping me? Gosunkugi: What do I get? Kodachi: to live. (Scene cuts to Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo. They are climbing the wall into the Kuno estate. There are many armed guards marching around. They slip past the guards into the mansion. Heading through the halls, they wander for a long time until they hear---) Kodachi: Well. I supose it is time to dispose of these idiots. I am tired of looking at them. Ranma and Akane: NOOOO!!!!(They sprint towards the voice, followed by Shampoo. They push open the doors and see two Kuno family goons turning the crank to lower Lupin III, Jigen, and Fujiko into the crocodile pool.) Lupin III: Ah. The cavalry has arrived. Jigen: Good. Now I can kill you for getting me into this before I die. (Akane rushes over to her father and Genma, Ranma faces off with Kodachi, and Shampoo confronts Kuno.) Shampoo: Mousse? Kuno: Yes. It keeps my hair in perfect shape during combat. (They start fighting. Because she can't see, Kuno begins to get the upper hand.) (Akane unties Genma and Soun as goons start to pour into the room. Genma and Soun start kicking them to kingdom come.) Ranma: Why do you keep doing this? (to Kodachi) Kodachi: (Picks up a covered cage) I burn for you. No one makes me feel like you do. Ranma: I don't love you. Kodachi: Take that back. Ranma: No! Kodachi: Then suffer. (She uncovers the cage. There is a cat in it. She opens the cage and tosses the cat onto Ranma. He locks up in Paralysis.) (Akane reaches Kasumi and Nabiki. She unties them and sees the bruise on Kasumi's face.) Akane: What happened? Kasumi: I was the last person she grabbed at the house. I offered her some food, then she hit me with her mallet. Akane: (With a look of pure rage on her face. Shouts at Kodachi) You crazy bitch! You hurt the sweetest, most harmless person in the whole world, my sister. I'm going to rip you apart! (Runs at Kodachi.) Kodachi: I shall enjoy humiliating you. (leaps away, lashes out with a ribbon, pulls Akane's legs out from under you.) (Meanwhile, Shampoo and Kuno's fight has moved near the sharkpool. She lunges at him, misses and falls in.) Kuno: Farewell. I shall miss your beauty. (Goes after Genma) You are next, father of the accursed Saotome Ranma. Genma: (Grabs the sword, pulls it away from Kuno, throws it in the sharkpool) We shall see. (Grabs Kuno, tosses him across the room. Kuno ends up with his head stuck in P-chan's cage. P-chan bites him.) Jigen: Excuse me for asking, BUT WILL SOMEBODY GET US DOWN FROM HERE? Those Fighting below: No! Jigen: Sorry for asking. (We briefly see Shampoo-cat desperately paddling through the shark pool trying not to be eaten. Then we see Genma come after Kuno, who gets up with his head still stuck in the cage. Genma strikes him several times, the Kuno head butts him. The cage breaks and P-chan gets loose. He scampers over toward Kodachi and Akane's fight. We see Mousse-duck ramming the side of the aquarium, which is starting to shake. We see Soun fighting dozens of goons. Nabiki and Kasumi have gotten over to the door, which Nabiki closes and locks.) Nabiki: Well, no one else will get in now. Kasumi: Where'd Shampoo go? Nabiki: I guess the sharks ate her. Kasumi: eyuh(sound of slight nausea) (Akane is pressing Kodachi hard. Kodachi is holding her off mainly by constantly jumping away from her blows.) Kodachi: Don't look now, there's someone behind you. Akane: I know(There really is someone. Akane reaches back, grabs him, and throws him at Kodachi. Kodachi ducks, lashes out with a ribbon, and pulls Akane off her feet, then leaps over her and comes down with a mallet. Akane rolls out of the way and springs to her feet. Then P-chan jumps on Kodachi and bites her. Kodachi flings p-chan into the sharkpool.) Akane: (Running past Kodachi towards the pool) P-chan! Kodachi: (strikes Akane from behind, felling her) What an idiot. (We see Genma finish off Kuno. He has one foot on Kuno's feet and is using him as a punching bag. Finally Kuno collapses. Meanwhile, we see Kasumi calling the cat on Ranma.) Kasumi: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Come to momma. Kitty: Meow! (Scampers over to Kasumi) (Ranma staggers to his feet.) Ranma: Oh, I feel woozy. (Meanwhile, Kodachi confronts Genma.) Kodachi: I will have to destroy you for what you have done. Genma: Your brother was a fool to attack me. Kodachi: I was talking about the pig cage you broke. That was expensive. (Tosses some pins at him, he easily deflects them.) (Genma leaps at him, she leaps away up onto the head of Lupin III. She then launches herself off him, setting the roped trio swinging. We briefly notice Lupin has gotten his arms free. She zooms down at Genma who leaps up to meet her. They collide in mid air and fall to the ground. Genma lands on Ranma, who is knocked for a loop for the moment. We cut briefly to see P-chan and Shampoo-cat dodging crocodiles, then back to Kasumi and Nabiki.) Kasumi: (to the kitty) Good kitty. Nabiki: We need to wake up Ukyou and Gosunkugi. Kasumi: Good idea. (They start trying to shake Ukyou and Gosunkugi awake.) (Genma has backed Kodachi into a corner.) Kodachi: I yield to your superior skill. (Whips out a bouquet of flowers) Flowers for the victor. Genma: Thank you. (sniffs the flowers, passes out) Kodachi: And now to dispose of my rival. (She goes over to Akane and hefts her to toss her into the crocodile pit. At this moment, Mousse tips over his aquarium. It falls, breaks, and water flows out. For once, it doesn't wet Ranma, but it the noise does revive him.) Ranma: I...Hey! (Mousse duck flies around Kodachi's head, making her stagger back away from the pit, then he flies down and grasps shampoo-cat with his beak, pulling her out of the crocodile pit. Ranma confronts Kodachi.) Ranma: PUT HER DOWN NOW! Kodachi: I must dispose of her that you will be free to return my love for you. Ranma: I'll never love you, never. Kodachi: Then we shall have to do this the hard way. (balances Akane on the edge of the pit.) Let us dance. (She leaps at Ranma, he dodges easily. A dozen blows, a dozen dodges, but he looks a little tired by them. He lashes out, she blocks his blows. The fight continues thus. Neither can land a solid blow.) Ranma: (thought) What is this? First Akane beats me up, then I can't beat Kodachi. What is wrong? (He manages to nail Kodachi by tumbling past her and back kicking her, but then she spins and nails him in the head with a tossed ball. He staggers a bit, then easily ducks a flying kick.) Kodachi: (thinking) Hmm. This is taking two long. When in doubt... (Mousse Duck has gotten Shampoo-cat to safety. She shakes herself dry and looks pretty aweful. She somehow still has his glasses perched on her face. He folds a wing over her. Meanwhile, Gosunkugi is still asleep, but the Tendo sisters have wakened Ukyou.) Ukyou: Ran-chan is in trouble! (She rushes into battle, tossing spatulas at Kodachi. Kodachi dodges them, but is unable to avoid a blow from Ranma, who punches her left arm. She staggers away. Then we see a crocodile rear up in the pit with P-chan perched desperately on its snout.) Ranma: Ryouga! Ucchan, get R...P-chan out of there before he gets eaten! I can handle this incompetent girl. (Ucchan rushes over to the pit and flips P-chan out with her giant spatula.) Kodachi: Incompetent, am I? (Slings a hoop at Ranma's feet) Ranma: (leaps up to avoid hoop, gets hit by thrown ball in gut.) Yes..ooof! Akane: (Akane starts to get up. Sees P-chan on the spatula.) P-chan! Ukyou: (Flips P-chan to her.) Safe and Sound (Then runs towards Kodachi) Take this. (Spatula to the head, then under Kodachi's feet flipping her into the air. Ranma leaps into the air and kicks Kodachi in the gut. Kodachi falls back in an arc where Ukyou uses her spatula to flip Kodachi into the crocodile pit. Kodachi leaps off a croc's head and lands next to Akane, who drops P-chan.) Akane: YOU!@#$^%#$^@#$%! (She hooks Kodachi's knees with one leg and pulls her down, then sits on her back and starts slamming Kodachi's head into the ground.) I! Have! Had! Enough! OF YOU! (Bam! Bam! Bam! The others pull her off Kodachi. ) Ukyou: Careful, you might have killed her if you kept that up. Akane: Death would be too good for her(growls a little) (Kasumi and Nabiki help the tied up trio get down.) Lupin III: I almost had us loose. Nabiki: Almost only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades. (We see Soun still besieged by goons.) Soun: Help! Please! (Scene cuts to the Tendo dojo. Lupin III, Fujiko, Jigen, Nabiki, Genma, Soun, Ryoga, Gosunkugi(still snoozing), Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyou, Ranma, and Akane are crammed around the table. Kasumi is serving a nice lunch. Everyone is eating and drinking.) Ranma: At least that's one person I can gladly mark off my list of people to marry. Ukyou: So are we still going out tonight? (Akane glares at both of them) Ranma: Uh...(glances at Akane) Shampoo: And when are we going on our TWO dates? Ukyou and Akane: Two dates? Ranma: I had to promise her two dates to get her to help us rescue... Akane: All she did was fall in the pool and turn into a cat! Ranma: But I did promise... Akane: Baka! (Is about to hit Ranma when...) Kasumi: Is everyone enjoying the herb tea? Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo(with fear) Herb tea? Kasumi: Yes, someone left some herb tea out, so I... (Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo yell with fear, stare at everyone, then flee) Kasumi: felt inspired to make some fresh tea, which I served. What's wrong with them? Ukyou: Good question. (Closing credit sequence: Man of two bodies... (We see Akane bump into Ranma who falls into a pool and come up a woman) Woman of two hearts... (We see Akane smiling at Ranma-chan while her back is to Akane, then yell at him when he turns around mad.) They can't live together... (We see them beating on each other.) but can't live apart. (Shampoo grabs Ranma and carries him off, Akane gives chase) Growing towards love... (we see Ranma leap from Shampoo's grasp and run back to Akane...) with a long way to go... (Akane points at Shampoo and slaps him) How to express their caring... (They both sulk) is more than they know. (They both sneak a peek at each other) Love brings us together... (Kasumi brings out a plate of food, puts it where they have to both move closer to reach it, then leaves) Fear holds us apart... (They sidle closer to the plate, but don't want to be the first to reach for it) Things are never easy... (They both grab at the same time...) In affairs of the heart. (They both grab the same heart-shaped cookie. Fade to black) (End part 8) (start part 9) (We see the Tendo house in the evening. Kasumi is cooking dinner. Nabiki is saying farewell to Lupin III and company at the front door. Soun and Genma are sparring in the Dojo. Ranma is trying to get the dust off his suit from sleeping on the floor in it and looking for something to wear. Akane is sulking in her room.) Akane: Stupid Ranma! Promising two dates for Shampoo when she didn't even do anything useful when we had to fight Kodachi this morning. And he wouldn't help me look for P-chan after the fight. For that matter, he spent most of the fight cowering from a cat while I fought Kodachi for him. And now he's going off on a date with Ukyou tonight as if he wasn't engaged to me. Baka! (In Ranma's room, he obviously only hears the BAKA! from what Akane says above) Ranma: She must still be mad because I wouldn't help look for P-chan. I'm sure P-chan wanted to get to cover before he turned back. I guess the curse must only come back gradually, at least for him. (Looks up, sees Ranma-chan, his female self, in the mirror.) Hmm. I wonder if he's been seeing P-chan in mirrors. Ryouga: (Who we now see sitting in the window) Well, I was, until it wore off. Ranma: (starts) I was afraid of that. Has your curse come all the way back? Ryouga: Not entirely, but one or two immersions and I'll probably be back to "normal." Ranma: Did Gosunkugi use the same water for you that he used for me and Dad? Ryouga: I think so. Ranma: Maybe the potency wore off so the curse came back faster for you. I can still see myself as a woman in the mirror. Ryouga: I can see her too. Ranma: What! Ryouga: You look female to me in the mirror. Ranma: Nobody else could see it... Ryouga: Have you asked Shampoo or Mousse? Ranma: The last thing I need is either of them in my Bedroom. Ryouga: your dad? Ranma: I didn't want him to think... Ryouga: No danger of that. Ranma: He is my dad, you can't just insult... Ryouga: So why are you getting dressed up? Ranma: I have a date with Ukyou tonight and I have to find something to wear now that my suit is dirty. Ryouga: perfect. Ranma: Huh? Ryouga: See you later. (leaps onto roof) Ranma: What was that all about? (We cut to Akane's room. Ryouga appears in the window. She doesn't see him, as she is still moping at her desk.) Ryouga: Akane? Akane: (turns) What? Ryouga: (taken aback) I...uh...since Ranma will be going out tonight...I...well...would you like to go out on a date with me tonight? Akane: (glares for a moment) I...sure! I'll show Ranma I don't need him to have a good time! Let's go! Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction: Based on the Characters and Universe of Ranma1/2 and other sources From the Fertile mind of Rumiko Takahashi and others who shall remain nameless(until the appropriate time) Carefully Crafted by: John Biles Putting Your Heart in the Right Place Part nine: Dating Rivalry! War of the Hearts! (We see Gosunkugi snoring away in a bed at his house. We see Happosai, running across a roof top, now being chased by a red-haired caucasian in a Japaneese school girl uniform and a shorter blond girl with permed hair and a goofy grin. The Red Haired Girl grabs him and punts him into the sunset. Then we cut to Ukyou's restaurant, where Ukyou is getting dressed up for her date with Ranma. ) Ukyou: (talking to herself in the mirror) So, who's the fairest of them all? (she laughs) (She looks quite good. Having heard of what Ranma wore to last night's date, she has obviously determined to outdo Akane. She is wearing a Red evening gown with long red gloves. She looks stunning. There is a knock at the door. She opens it. Ranma is there in clothing that doesn't quite fit and looks borrowed. He is wearing a too large brown jacket (Mr. Tendo's in size), a white button shirt that does fit, black slacks that are a little short, and a blue tie. He has the "I am underdressed" look on his face after he looks at Ukyou.) Ranma: Uh...er..you... Ukyou: Yes? Ranma: You look really amazingly good. I...wow. Ukyou: Thank you, Ranma. Ranma: So where do you want to go eat? Ukyou: Anywhere you want to go is fine with me. Ranma: But..I..okay. I know a French place...no that wouldn't be a good idea. Ukyou: I like French food. Lets' go. Ranma: Ur...okay. (And they're off. Elsewhere, we see Ryouga has rented/borrowed/found/created ex nihilo a Tux. Akane once again comes down in casual clothes, sees him, retreats upstairs and returns in style. This time she is wearing a red evening gown with long red gloves. She looks exquisite. When Ryouga sees her, he just stares mindlessly.) Akane: Are you okay? Ryouga: Fine. Uh, you look great. Akane: Thank you, Ryouga. I'm glad that somebody doesn't think I'm uncute. Ryouga: I would never say that. (They head into the kitchen, heading for the exit. Kasumi is hard at work.) Kasumi: Oh, are you two going out? Akane: Since Ranma has decided to spend the next three nights with OTHER women, I'm going out with Ryouga tonight. Kasumi: That's nice. Where are you going to eat? Ryouga: I have no idea. Kasumi: How about that nice French restaurant over in... Akane: I was there with Ranma last night. The staff might... Kasumi: It's nice and easy to find. If the staff asks, just tell them you are Akane's twin sister, Akemi. They probably won't even remember you. Akane: Thanks, sis. How's the bruise? Kasumi: (turns--the bruise is almost entirely gone..) Growing up in this house meant learning to heal quick. I'm fine. Akane: Have a nice night. (They leave) Kasumi: Hmm. Extra food. Maybe I should invite a guest. Maybe Dr. Tofu? (We see Ranma and Ukyou at Ma Maison, the restaurant that he and Akane were at last night. They are looking at menus.) Ukyou: Ooh. What a nice selection. Ranma: (looking a little paranoid) Uh huh. (The waitress comes. She is the same one from last night.) Waitress: Hi, can I...hey, didn't I see you last night? You were with your fiancee. So who is this young lady? Ukyou: I'm his fiancee, not... Ranma: You must be thinking of my twin brother Ranma. My name is....Hasukawa. Saotome Hasukawa. And this is my fiancee, Kuonji Ukyou. Waitress: Well...the guy last night was better dressed... Ranma: (looks a bit miffed)... Waitress: Has your brother really been engaged to his fiancee for two years before he finally took her out on a date? Ranma: Yes, sort of. They, ah, they... Ukyou: They quarrel a lot, unlike Hasukawa and I. Ranma can be a real jerk to Akane, sometimes. (smirks a little). Ranma: Hey, I...he is my brother. It isn't always his fault. Waitress: Hmm. So how long have you two been engaged. Ukyou: For years and years. Ranma and Hasukawa's father promised my father that one of them would marry me, but then their father dragged them off before we got old enough to even really know what marriage was. Eventually I came looking for him and decided to marry Hasukawa, because Ranma had already been engaged to Akane, whose father had also been promised that either Ranma or Hasukawa would marry one of his daughters. Waitress: Uh huh. Right. I think I got that. So, can I take your order? (Scene cuts to the Nekohanten. Cologne is putting up a closed sign on the door. Shampoo, wearing glasses, is standing nearby. Mousse is hovering over her (in the sense of standing behind and looming over her)). Cologne: Well, since the gas went out, we'll be closed, so you can go do whatever you want, Shampoo. Shampoo: (pouts a bit) I don't have anything to do. Ranma is out on a date tonight and I don't know where. And I'm hungry, but we can't cook anything with the gas out. Mousse: I know a restaurant that would be nice. Of course we'd have to dress up a bit. It is formal. Cologne: Great! You're paying. Mousse: I didn't... Shampoo: Anything is better than sitting around waiting for tomorrow. Let's go. (The two women run off to get dressed up, leaving Mousse counting through his money.) Mousse: I hope I have enough money for this, I didn't intend Cologne to come... (We cut to Gosunkugi's room. He is still snoozing. His parents are at the door.) G. Mom: Perhaps we should call a doctor. According to his friends, he has slept since yesterday afternoon. G. Dad: Well, he snuck out of the house with some girl the night before that. Maybe that has something to do with it. G. Mom: He was with a girl? G. Dad: A real one. I didn't say anything so I wouldn't embarrass him, but I think she was carrying a giant spatula. They met some kid with an umbrella and headed off down the road. G. Mom: Maybe he's finally going to stop chasing that Tendo girl. G. Dad: I hope so. She's been engaged to that Martial Artist for two years, and he's still got pictures of her on the walls. Gosunkugi: (talking in sleep) Akane... G. Mom: (turning to go) Doesn't sound like it. (she leaves) G. Dad: (goes over to him) She's engaged son. You've got to find some