This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 15:  Kill Harima

By John Biles

***********************

	The street where Hanai and Mikoto's houses stood was 
very quiet on a Sunday morning.  They walked down it, 
hand in hand, with Hanai growing more nervous as he 
walked.  He could hear the wrath of Mikoto's father in the 
dead silence.

	They reached Mikoto's house and she smiled shyly at 
him.  "See, I told you, nothing would happen."

	Then the bush next to them suddenly folded over as a 
trapdoor opened.  Mikoto's father popped up, grabbed 
Hanai and vanished out of sight, pulling the trapdoor shut 
behind them.

	"Father!"

	The sounds of intense beating echoed through the 
door.  "DEFILER OF MY DAUGHTER!"

	"Father!"  Mikoto began to pound on the trapdoor.  
"Don't hurt my boyfriend!"

	The trapdoor opened and Hanai was flung out, 
knocked out.

	"Father!"

	"It's just to protect you!"  Her father clambered out.  
"Pretty slick, eh?  This should let me eliminate any man 
who comes after you," he said.

	"..."  She held the battered Hanai in her arms.  "I won't 
put up with you attacking my boyfriend," Mikoto said 
angrily.

	"He runs around on you!"

	"Not any more," she said.  "He's MINE now," she 
said, startling herself with how possessive she was.

	"Well, if he runs around on you again, I'll finish the 
job.  Also, you're grounded for a week for not coming 
home."

	"But Father..." she began.

	"Don't But Father me," he said.  "You didn't come 
home, you get grounded.  You could have been lying in a 
gutter with severed limbs; how were we to know?"

	She sighed.  "Yes, Father.  Let me take Haruki-kun 
home."

	"Fine.  Then come home."

	"Yes, Father," she said, sighing.

***********

	Akira luxuriated in laziness.  Her mother had gone off 
for the morning, there was no one to make her work, her 
boyfriend was cuddled up to her, and life was good despite 
the lingering aches and pains.  If all had gone well, Hanai 
would finally treat Mikoto right so she didn't have to keep 
kicking his butt.  She still had no solution to the Eri - 
Harima - Yakumo triangle, but he owed her, so she could 
lead him if she had to.  Somehow.

	It was all going to work out.  She could forget and 
move on with Nara and they'd all find someone.  Except 
that Yakumo and Eri both wanted Harima and they couldn't 
both have him.  She'd forced herself to solve her own 
version of that by moving on.  And now she had something 
better, anyway.

	Nara was half-asleep as she idly played with his hair, 
smiling to herself.  She felt so peaceful.

	The phone rang.  She decided not to answer it.  It 
could only be trouble.  No trouble now. Just for a few 
minutes she wanted a little peace.  

*************	

	Hanai woke up with his father standing over him.  
"So, son, have you gotten in more trouble?"

	"Yes," he mumbled.

	"How long should I ground you for?"

	"At least a week," Hanai mumbled.

	"Well, you've been pre-beaten, so I'll ground you a 
week and call it even.  So, are you going to be faithful or do 
you have a deathwish?"

	"Faithful," he mumbled.

	"Good," his father said.  "It'll go much more smoothly 
that way.  She's a good girl.  If you get her pregnant, I'll kill 
you."

	Hanai sat up on his bed; his father was perched in a 
chair near it.  "Yes, sir."

	"Anyway, go downstairs and empty the dishwasher, 
then help your mother clean the baths," Hanai's father said, 
leaning back in the chair.

	Hanai got out of bed.  

	"Good luck," he said.  "Most teen romances fail, but 
you two know each other better.  She's good for you."

	"Thank you," Hanai said, heading for the door.

	"But pregnancy equals death for Haruki," his father 
said.  "Remember."

	"Yes, sir."  Hanai hoped he was exaggerating as usual.

*************

	"Mikoto-chan!" Tenma said frantically.  "Kenji's 
vanished!  I think he's been kidnapped!"

	"Kidnapped?" Mikoto asked in confusion.

	"There was this note, but it made no sense, he'd never 
run away like this!" Tenma said.  "Can you come help us 
search?"

	"I'm grounded," Mikoto said.

	There was a brief and terrible silence.

	"You didn't kiss Kenji, did you?" Tenma asked.

	"..."

	"I mean, maybe he ran away...I'm not making sense," 
Tenma babbled.

	"I stayed out all night with Haruki and Miki and 
Masahiro and now he's my boyfriend," Mikoto said.  "For 
real.  But we're both grounded."

	"Masahiro-san is your boyfriend now?  How could 
you do that to Hanai-san?" Tenma asked in shock.

	"No, no, I meant Haruki-kun!" Mikoto said.

	"Oh, okay," Tenma said.  "It wouldn't have been nice 
to stab Miki-san in the back."

	"Nope.  But I just wish I wasn't grounded."  Mikoto 
sighed.  

	"Man, I hope no one grounds Akira...but she's not 
answering her phone...maybe she's grounded too!" Tenma 
said.

	"So Harima-kun ran away?"

	"Yes," Tenma said.  "Did you see him?  Yakumo told 
me he went to help Akira, then acted all weird on his return 
and now....he and Akira aren't answering their 
phones...THEY ELOPED!  Oh man, she must have dumped 
Nara and they eloped together!"

	Tenma imagined Akira riding on Harima's motorcycle 
with him, Nara and Yakumo crying behind them as the 
lovers rode into the sunset.  She felt her heart beat 
frantically.  My dear little sister...crying...how could he?  

	"I don't think so.  Wouldn't she just take him if she 
wanted him?" Mikoto asked.

	"But...the note..."

	"Talked about Akira?"

	"No," Tenma said reluctantly.

	"Eloping?"

	"No," Tenma said.  "He just said he was a bad 
boyfriend for Yakumo and he needed to go sort things out."

	"You know how guys are.  When they realize it's time 
to settle down, they run away in fear.  He's big and macho.  
He'll come back once the panic fades," Mikoto said.

	"You sure?" Tenma said.  "Yakumo is so sad..."  She 
sounded sad herself.

	"You miss him," Mikoto said softly and 
sympathetically.

	Tenma nodded vigorously.  "Yes.  He's like family to 
me now."

	"Well, I can't do anything for you, but...no wait, Eri is 
grounded too.  And you called Akira?"

	"She's not answering," Tenma said nervously.

	"I don't know.  Maybe Sagano can help you?  Or 
Karen?"

	"I'll call Karen-chan.  Maybe she can help me," Tenma 
said hopefully.

	"Good luck," Mikoto said.  "I wish I could help."

	"It's okay.  See you later!"

*************

	Karen looked at the note.  "Well, it seems pretty clear 
to me that he can't face someone and the shame of it has 
driven him off," she said.  Maybe he and Eri were having 
an affair and once Eri made it public, he got sick from the 
shame and now he's run away, she thought.  "Maybe it's 
connected to Eri kissing him."

	"He didn't even tell me for a week," Yakumo 
mumbled.

	Karen winced.

	"Well, I forgot to tell you myself," Tenma said, 
laughing nervously.  "I'd mostly forgotten until just now."

	"..."  Karen stared at her.

	"I'm sorry, Yakumo."

	Now Yakumo was starting to feel a little angry.  Her 
own sister hadn't thought to tell her.  What else was being 
hidden from her?  Why had he left?

	Weakly, Tenma said, "Are you mad at me?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said flatly.

	Tenma began to wail as if all the forces of hell were 
after her.  Karen covered her ears. Yakumo now felt guilty.  
"I'm sorry, sister," she mumbled.

	Tenma recovered once she ran into a wall as she ran 
about in remorse.  Once she peeled herself off the floor, she 
said, "Well, we'll just have to find him."

	"But how?" Yakumo asked.

	"I don't know, but I'll figure something out.  We'll 
bring him back to you, Yakumo," Tenma said.  "I should 
call Eri, see if she knows anything."

	Eri took the call.  "Hello, Tenma-chan."

	"Eri-chan, Kenji..."

	"Ran away," Eri said hotly.  "If I wasn't grounded, I'd 
find him and kick his ass."

	"How did you know?" Tenma asked in surprise.

	"He left me a note," she said.

	"But...where?"

	"My house," Eri said.

	"Hmm, we have somewhere to start searching.  Can 
we come over and begin tracking him from your house?" 
Tenma asked.

	"I should probably ask Father's permission...stuff it.  
Come over, take a look.  I can't leave the house, but at least 
someone will be on his trail," Eri said, sounding cranky.  

	"We'll be over soon, then," Tenma said.

	"See you."

***************
	
	Harima felt a little confused.  The mountain forests 
weren't nearly this wet normally, were they?  It seemed like 
everything was flatter and much wetter than he was used to.  
Also, he'd dressed for cold winter weather, but it was kind 
of hot.

	He heard movement in the distance.  Not again, he 
thought.  He sighed and sat down on a rock and pretended 
to start making camp.

	When his stalker got close, Harima spun and kicked 
up and back.  The gorilla took the foot to the face and 
tumbled off down the slope, giving incoherent gorilla 
howls.  Harima understood them as 'Damn you, Lord 
Harima'.  

	What Harima wanted to know was where all these 
damn gorillas had come from.  The zoos REALLY needed 
better security.  

	He sat down under a tree to sketch, doing a drawing of 
a deer drinking from the stream at the base of the slope.  It 
turned and wandered up to him.  'You didn't get my best 
side', it told him.  'Let me pose again.'

	The deer demanded about eight different takes before 
it was finally satisfied.  Once it finished, it asked, 'What 
brings you here?'

	"Love trouble," he said, sighing.  "The woman I love 
loves another; Yakumo wants to be my girlfriend, but I 
don't know what to think about her, and Eri is just...I don't 
know.  She's so hard to deal with, but kind of cute."

	'Can't you just have them all in turn as they go into 
heat?' the deer asked.

	Harima now remembered why he didn't ask animals 
for love advice much.  "Humans don't do it like that."

	'Maybe the gorillas could help.  They're more like 
you.'

	"They hate me."

	'Can't help you there.'

	"Thanks for posing."

	'You flatter me,' the deer said.  'I'm going to go brag to 
my friends now.'

	"Have fun," Harima said as the deer ran off.

	Harima felt a little better.  I should find out why the 
gorillas are after me, he thought.  That'll take my mind off 
love.  Or at least give me some good fights.  Which was 
about as good.

***********
	
	Lala sprang out of bed.  There had been someone in 
the hallway.  Right?  Maybe she dreamed it...

	She frowned and went to the door.  The hallway was 
empty; she couldn't hear anyone, either.  

	So went down the hallway to see her host mother, who 
was still asleep, as she was prone to do on weekends.  
Gently, Lala woke her.  "We may have a burglar," she 
whispered.

	The old lady got her cane and scrambled out of bed.  
"I'm ready," she whispered.

	"I will take point," Lala said.  "You are too old to 
fight."

	"Try me," the old lady whispered.

	They crept out into the hallway and down to the living 
room.  There was a huge pile of dirt and sand here; lines of 
ants were marching from the pile to the refrigerator.  "An 
invasion by ants?" Lala asked in confusion.

	"Someone dumped them here," her host observed, 
frowning.  "I don't remember angering anyone lately."  She 
began poking the front door and prodding the pile.

	This made ants swarm after her and she had to drop 
her cane.  "I'm calling the exterminator," she said.  "If I can 
get one on Sunday."
	
	This was no doubt Akira's petty revenge, Lala thought.  
Or perhaps that of her boyfriend, Nara.  An attack by ants 
would match his pathetic style--a weakling's stab in the 
back.

	They would pay for this, she was sure.

	She was doubly sure of it when she found moths 
eating her dresses a little later.

	Especially since Nara and Akira weren't answering the 
phone; no doubt they were off sneaking home.  Cowards.  
She would show them at school.  When she wasn't busy 
with her boyfriend, anyway.

**************	

	It didn't take much detective work for Eri, Butler-san, 
Tenma, and Yakumo to find the footprints in the 
flowerbeds under her window.  Unfortunately, they led 
back to the driveway; a few streaks showed he had driven 
there and left the same way.

	Eri felt herself growing more annoyed with Yakumo's 
weeping by the second.  "I take it he dumped you?" she 
asked, almost hopefully.

	"I just don't understand," Yakumo mumbled.

	"We'll figure it out," Tenma said.

	"What did you to do to him?" Yakumo said to Eri.

	"I didn't do anything to him!" Eri shouted.

	"Ojou-sama, I must inform you that you did kiss him 
and tell him you love him," Butler-san said.

	"I was DRUNK!  What kind of an idiot could love 
someone who is in love with one girl but dates another?" 
Eri shouted angrily.  "And she's too BLIND to see it."

	"I...what?" Tenma asked.  Her brain whirred.  "He isn't 
really in love with Mikoto-chan after all, is he?"

	Eri began bashing her head against a wall until Butler-
san restrained her.

	"It's not Akira-sempai, is it?" Yakumo asked.  "As 
she's with Nara-san now and..."

	"Why is everyone in this country so stupid?" Eri 
demanded of the ground.  "WHY?"

	Tenma winced.  "Eri-chan, I try my hardest."

	"Don't call my sister stupid!" Yakumo snapped.  She 
was not going to put up with abuse of her sister by the 
woman who clearly drove her boyfriend into hiding by 
confusing him with kisses.  

	Tenma and Butler-san started.

	"You ignorant little girl!  He only dated you because I 
was stupid enough to say you were his girlfriend and your 
sister believed me and he didn't know how to stop!  He 
never loved you!" Eri shouted.

	"Why would he let you two tell him who to date?" 
Yakumo asked.  "I think you're just a sore loser because he 
doesn't love you."  Her voice was turning sharp.

	Tenma sighed.  "Yakumo-chan, let's not fight, okay?  
Harima could be lost, alone, and hurt, and we're just 
fighting over whose fault it is."

	"So blind," Eri said, trembling with rage.  "You two 
just don't get it.  Butler-san, please escort them out; I 
shouldn't have guests, anyway."  She turned and stalked 
off.

	Tenma stared sadly at the ground.  "Butler-san, why is 
Eri-chan so mad at me?"

	"She's bitter because Kenji-kun doesn't love her.  
Selfish girl," Yakumo said bitterly.

	Tenma stared at her, jaw open.  "Yakumo-chan, that 
isn't like you."

	"I'm not going to let her have MY Kenji," Yakumo 
said, jaw set.  Tenma had never seen her this angry and it 
scared Tenma.  

	Butler-san began to herd them out.  "She's grounded 
and it makes her very lonely.  And her heart is in pain.  
Please forgive her, Tsukamoto-san."

	"Of...of course..." Tenma said, walking almost 
drunkenly, feeling confused.

	"Hmph," Yakumo said, walking rigidly.

	"I...Yakumo-chan..." Tenma began.

	"I don't want to talk," Yakumo said.

	So Tenma walked, basting in her silence.

*************

	"Neither of them is answering," Fuyuki said, 
frowning. 

	"Well, we can practice some without them," Karen 
said.  "Or do we want to cancel and do homework?"

	They were over at Karen's place for band practice, 
camped in the living room.

	"I feel musical," Karasuma said.

	"I hope they're okay," Karen said as the other two got 
their instruments.  

	"I'm sure they are fine," Fuyuki said.  "Yuuki probably 
just visited Sagano and got whatever kept Sagano home 
from school last week."

	"That's true," Karen said.  "They're probably fine."

*************

	"AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuri screamed as she 
slashed wildly at an onrushing minotaur.  To her surprise, 
the sword gleamed blue and sliced through it; it evaporated 
away.  But then a goblin darted in and tried to slash her at 
waist level.  She half-blocked the blow, but it tore her skirt 
off.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	Sagano paused in the middle of jump-kicking an ogre 
in the face.  "Hello Kitty Panties????"

	"What?" Tani-sensei said, turning, then blushing.  In 
addition to an eyefull of underwear, he saw a pair of trolls 
rushing at Tae from behind as she decapitated three gnolls 
with one stroke of a white gleaming blade.  He leaped 
forward with the naginata he'd scavenged off a previous 
attack and impaled one troll; it burst into green flame, vines 
erupting from its chest and ripping it apart, then cut the legs 
off the other one; it began crawling after its legs and he 
stabbed it in the head.  Vines consumed it.

	"I think traditionally, the guy is supposed to let the 
women fight, then only come in to the rescue at one 
dramatic moment," Sagano pointed out.

	"Screw tradition!  I just want to go home!" Yuuki said 
as she slingshotted a stone into the face of a gnoll.  The 
stone exploded and the gnoll went up in flames, then faded 
away into mist.  "And why do all these monsters 
evaporate?"

	"Adding corpses to the scenery costs too much to draw 
them in," Sagano said.

	"I don't think an animation budget is dictating our 
lives," Tae-sensei said.  "But it does seem like nature is 
trying to strip us naked."  She took out another gnoll, but 
it's blade tore her dress top first.  

	"Well, if you all changed into your fighting 
uniforms..." Lord Fuyuki said.

	"I don't have one!" Yuuki said.  "This was not my 
plan!"

	"Well, there's usually a transformation phrase..."

	"I don't want to dress like a harem girl!" Yuuki 
protested, ducking under a swing from a goblin, then 
sending an exploding bullet into his face with her sling 
shot.

	The remaining monsters fled.  

	"Well, only 360 or so miles to go," Lord Fuyuki said 
cheerfully.

	I'm going to go crazy, Yuuki thought.  This was my 
worst plan of all time.  Even Sagano has better plans.  I 
suck.

************

	Akira was pretty sure this was her laziest day ever.  
No work, she and Nara had just laid in bed all day cuddled 
up to each other. It felt wonderful to just luxuriate.

	Then she heard her mother yell, "I NEED SLAVES 
TO PUT AWAY THE GROCERIES."

	This forced her into cleaning up action.

	Around when she and Nara finished, Tenma arrived.  
Akira could see at a glance that she was well down the road 
into incoherence.  

	She put a hand on Tenma's shoulder.  "What's 
wrong?"

	Tenma began to bawl into her chest.  She held Tenma 
in silence a while.  Nara watched uncomfortably.

	Finally, Tenma recovered enough to explain what had 
happened.

	Akira shook her head.  "I was afraid of this."

	"Why didn't you tell me?"

	"It wasn't my place to reveal Kenji's badly kept 
secrets," Akira said.  "So Eri didn't tell you?"

	"No.  Does everyone but me know?" Tenma asked in 
despair.

	Akira shook her head.  "No, only a few people know.  
I'm sure he'll come back, though.  He won't be able to stay 
away from his love.  He'll want to say goodbye, if nothing 
else."

	"He can't leave!  Yakumo needs him!" Tenma said 
frantically.  

	Akira sighed.  "I will talk to her about this.  But I'm 
sure he'll come back."

	"We have to find him!"

	"Men need their privacy sometimes," Akira said.  "He 
has to figure out his heart."

	"But doesn't he...why doesn't he...he dated Yakumo!  
For weeks!  And lived with us!" Tenma said.

	"The attention of multiple women makes men insane.  
Case in point--Hanai."

	"He has been acting a little weird.  I never thought of 
him as a pimp," Tenma said.

	"Men can't handle it; at least he's honest enough to 
admit he can't," Akira said.  "I think he'll come back, once 
he works things out in his head."

	Nara frowned a bit.  His dad could handle it.  But he 
didn't want to start a fight about that.

	"I just...I have to do something," Tenma said, 
wringing her hands.

	"Sometimes, you just have to give a man his space," 
Akira said.  "If he doesn't come back in a week, then we 
can worry.  At least he finally told Yakumo.  I've been 
pushing him on that."

	"Do you think Eri loves Kenji?" Tenma asked 
nervously.

	"Yes," Akira said.  

	Nara nodded.

	"But...I don't understand."

	"Eri's not easy to understand," Akira said, shaking her 
head.

	Nara said, "Just try and relax.  He'll be back soon 
enough."

	"I hope you're right," Tenma said, sighing.  She 
wished she could do something for Yakumo, but Yakumo 
wasn't too happy with her, either.

************

	"We don't have a sacred flame," Sara said to Yakumo.

	Yakumo pointed at the lit candles in the foyer.

	"Those are kind of small to look for a vision in," Sara 
said.  "But we can pray for guidance.  Just...God doesn't 
just come at my beck and call."

	"I have to try," Yakumo said.

	Sara nodded.  She took Yakumo by the hand and 
brought her up to the altar and they kneeled down before it 
and before the stained glass windows and the statuary, and 
Yakumo hoped for some kind of sign.

	The air was quiet; distantly, music played and birds 
sang. Yakumo kept praying, looking for some sort of 
answer.  She prayed and prayed and prayed.

	And then there was a voice.  "Sara-chan, Yakumo-
chan, my children, why are you sorrowed?"

	"My boyfriend ran away and I don't know why!  Is it 
because Eri kissed him?" Yakumo asked.

	"He is now torn between the two of you, unable to 
choose between your sweet kisses.  So he has fled to the 
wilderness.  Whichever one of you finds him first will be 
his true love," the voice said from above.  

	"So it's a test?" Sara asked.  Something didn't seem 
quite right here.  Did she know this voice from something?

	"The one who really loves him will find her way to 
him, wherever he may hide," the voice said.

	"But where do I start looking?" Yakumo asked.

	"Follow your heart," the voice said.

	"But how do I do that?"

	There was only silence.

	Sara said, "Well, that answers that."  Is this a prank?  
Or a real message?  She wasn't sure.

	Yakumo rose and closed her eyes, trying to get a sense 
of direction.  She began to walk, down the aisle and out the 
door.  She could feel something, some bond, drawing her 
on.

	Sara scampered after her.  "You sure you know what 
you're doing?"  She had a bad feeling.

	"God wills it," Yakumo said serenely, walking with 
eyes closed.  Even walking into a street sign didn't deter 
her.

	Imadori watched them go from the roof.  He hoped the 
advice would help.  But now he had to find somewhere else 
to take a nap.  

	He shook his head.  Silly Harima; a real man would 
have dated both of them.  But hopefully, if she thought 
about it hard, she'd figure out where to find him.  She just 
needed some encouragement.

	Right?

***********

	Eri was in the backyard shooting targets.  This enabled 
her to avoid the need to shoot other people.  

	Stupid Kenji.  Stupid Yakumo.  Stupid Tenma.  The 
three of them living together has probably caused all their 
idiocy to fuse together into an invincible force of idiocy, 
she thought.

	Blam, she blew another target out of the sky.  

	I could have had him, she thought.  Not that it could 
have worked out...I'd never be allowed to marry a poor guy 
like him.  But I could have...for a little while...

	He's not worth it, she thought as she toasted another 
target.  

	He's off in the middle of the wilderness, probably 
getting rained on and attacked by wild animals.  But it's his 
own fault.  I was honest with him and he ran away, she 
thought.

	Anything that happens to him...

	She could think of a million things that could happen 
to him.

	Once she started crying, Butler-san made sure to take 
away the gun.

***************

	"You need me to what?" Akira asked Yakumo.

	"Please take care of my big sister.  I have to find 
Kenji," she said.

	Akira's eyes narrowed slightly.  "How are you going 
to find him?"

	"My heart will lead me to him," Yakumo said, almost 
blissfully.

	Akira's eyes narrowed more.  "The heart is not a GPS 
system."

	"God has told me what to do," Yakumo said serenely.

	Akira looked over at Sara, who looked nervous.  
"Sara, what is going on?"

	"Well, it certainly seemed like the voice of God," Sara 
said nervously.  "But...well, it isn't his normal MO these 
days."

	"Yakumo," Akira said gently.  "I expect that someone 
is pranking you."

	"No!  It makes too much sense," Yakumo said.  "I 
have to do this, sempai.  I have to."  She put a hand over 
her heart.  "I can't just wait."

	"He'll come back," Akira said.  "He just needs some 
space."  She hoped she was right.

	"He needs me," Yakumo said.  "Eri-sempai confused 
him, but I will straighten him out."  She sounded quite 
confident.

	"I can't stop you," Akira said.  "But I think this is 
foolish.  And not what Kenji wants."  She looked at Sara, 
willing her to say something sensible.

	But Sara mumbled, "Love often isn't very wise.  But 
God is love."

	Akira shook her head, then put a hand on Yakumo's 
shoulder.  "Fine.  I will loan you some camping gear.  Just 
make sure you don't miss winter exams."  Sometimes, you 
have to roll with the punches.  "And I will try to watch over 
your sister."

	"Thank you," Yakumo said, bowing.  

	Once she was gone, Akira checked the bug she'd 
planted on Yakumo.  It was working, so she could track her 
if necessary.  The problem would be whether it would stay 
on her...  Though she could bug the gear too, and that 
would hopefully do the trick.

**************

	"Leaving?" Tenma asked.  "I should go with you," she 
said.

	"I'll be fine with Sara," Yakumo said.  "You can't 
afford to miss class, big sister."

	"But..." Tenma protested.  "You're not still angry with 
me, are you?" she asked weakly.

	"This is my duty," Yakumo replied.  "But I'm not 
angry at you."  Much.  "I'll be fine," Yakumo continued.  
"We leave in the morning."

	"But school..."

	"We'll take our books with us and study at night," 
Yakumo said.  "And we'll be back quickly, I think."

	"I guess if God told you to do it..."

	"He did," Yakumo said firmly.  Sara looked less 
certain.

	Tenma hugged her sister.  "Be careful, okay?"

	"I will," Yakumo said.  "Don't worry."

	But that's half a big sister's job.

**************
	
	The next morning, Tenma was walking alone to 
school, feeling depressed and worried about her sister.  
Could her little sister really find Kenji?  Would she be 
okay?

	She'd tried calling Kenji, but he didn't answer his 
phone.  Eri didn't either.

	She could see someone ahead, some happy couple 
walking hand in hand.  Then she realized it was Mikoto and 
Hanai.  "How's it going?" she asked.

	Hanai looked back at her and smiled nervously.  
"Well."

	"Great," Mikoto said, smiling.  "Even if we got 
grounded."

	She smiled broadly for Mikoto.  At least someone was 
happy.  "So you two are serious now?"

	"Yes," Mikoto said firmly.

	Hanai nodded, though he looked nervous about it.

	"Good.  You're a cute couple.  Be good to Mikoto-
chan, Hanai-kun," Tenma said.

	"I will," he said.  "I take my duties seriously."

	Tenma sighed.  "Yakumo's gone off to find Kenji."

	"What?" Hanai asked in confusion.

	"He got all sick and panicky and now he's run off into 
the wilderness again," Tenma said, sighing and staring at 
the ground.

	Hanai grimaced.  "So he abandoned Yakumo-san, did 
he?"

	"I'm sure he's still sick and confused and he may not 
even know what he's doing.  I don't know she's going to 
find him, but God told her to go find him," Tenma said.

	"God told her," Hanai said suspiciously.  "Sounds like 
a con."

	"Sara is a priestess!  She is in contact with the gods," 
Tenma said firmly.

	Mikoto looked dubious too.  "I'd be wary of oracles."

	"She's gone now."

	"How does she expect to find him?" Hanai asked, 
scowling.

	"Follow her heart..." Tenma said weakly.

	"You let your sister run off into the wilderness without 
you to find Harima after he abandoned her?  What kind of 
sister are you?" Hanai snapped.

	Tenma's eyes widened; her jaw dropped.  "I...she 
wanted to go so bad and God said it was okay..."

	"There are crazed martial artists out there looking to 
improve their skills and find inner peace through exterior 
violence!"  Hanai said, waving his arms wildly.  He got a 
grip on himself.  "She could be in danger."

	"It's not that dangerous," Mikoto said.  "Though you 
probably shouldn't have let her go."

	Tenma cringed in on herself.  "I couldn't stop her," she 
mumbled.

	"Then you're a terrible sister," Hanai said.

	"Haruki-kun, that wasn't very nice," Mikoto said, 
frowning.

	"Yakumo could be under attack by a bear, right this 
minute!" Hanai said.  He could hardly think of anything but 
the dangers she was in.

	"We've been camping with her.  She's sensible.  I 
expect she'll wander a few days and then come home," 
Mikoto said.  "Forget about Yakumo; we have school."  
Mikoto hoped she wasn't being too callous, but she 
remembered the huge crush he used to have on Yakumo, 
and she was feeling a little jealous.  

	"She's supposed to call me each day," Tenma 
mumbled.

	Akira came up now, holding Nara's hand.  She studied 
Mikoto and Hanai.  "He still running around on you?" she 
asked.

	"No, we're together now."  Mikoto smiled and pulled 
Hanai a little closer.  

 	Hanai laughed nervously, then leaned over and kissed 
Mikoto softly on the lips.  "Like that," he said.  They both 
blushed a little.

	Akira silently swept Nara around into an embrace, 
swept him into a dip, and gave him a long kiss, until finally 
they came up for air.  Hanai frowned a bit at being 
upstaged.

	"I am soooo jealous," Tenma said.  "Though I had a 
really good date with Karasuma and we finally kissed last 
night."

	"He should be here with you," Akira said.  Nara 
nodded.

	"He comes from the other way," Tenma said.  "But 
we'll see each other at school."

	"Congratulations," Hanai said, smiling a moment 
before going back to looking unhappy.

	"I bet Eri will be excited to hear your luck is looking 
up," Mikoto said to Tenma.

	Tenma stared at the ground, then walked into a tree.  
She almost fell, but Nara darted over and caught her.  
"Thank you, Nara."  She turned to Mikoto, saying, "Eri and 
I had a fight because of Yakumo and Kenji going out and I 
think Eri loves him.  Or hates him.  Or both."

	"Very good, Nara-san," Hanai said absently, then said, 
"It looks to me like the usual thing of her being too proud 
to admit what she really feels and taking it out on others."

	"Haruki-kun, be nice," Mikoto said.

	"Am I wrong?" he asked.

	To everyone's surprise, Akira said, "He's right."

	"Thank you, Takano-san."

	"I just don't want Eri to hate me if Yakumo and Kenji 
make up," Tenma mumbled.

	"She'll focus her hate-rays at them, not you," Nara 
said.  "Right?"

	"Eri and I had a fight a while back; we got over it.  
You two can work it out," Mikoto said optimistically, while 
trying to think if there was some way for her and Hanai to 
sneak off together some time before they had to go home...

	"That's true," Tenma said.  She felt better already.

**************

	Mai began to fret.  Where was Tani-sensei?  He was 
already ten minutes late and everyone was getting restless.  
"Hanai-san, can you check the teacher's office?"

	He didn't say anything, staring out the window.

	"Hanai-san!"

	He jumped.  "I...fish...what?"

	She blinked.  "Tani-sensei is late.  Can you go see if 
he called in sick?"

	"Yes," he said, and ambled out.

	Mai watched everyone, wondering who knew about 
her date with Tougo.  Imadori was busy trading porn with 
his friends; this was against school rules, especially the way 
Karen was hanging on him.

	She strode over.  "What are you doing?  Trading porn 
is..."

	"You want some pictures of you and your beau?" 
Imadori asked.

	Mai turned red.  "I don't have a beau!" she protested.

	"So you and Tougo were just randomly doing it?" 
Imadori asked.  "Or did he pay you?"

	There was a moment of awful, terrible silence, and 
then Mai could see everyone staring at her.  "I am not a 
prostitute!" 

	"Just using him for sex, then," Imadori said.

	"No!"

	"So he IS your beau," Imadori said.

	"What's a beau?"  Tenma asked.

	"We were conferencing," Mai protested.

	"Naked," Imadori said.

	"No!" she said, but she could see a lot of people didn't 
believe her.  And some of them looked pretty angry.

	"Actually, the school security cameras did catch some 
of it," Buddha said.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Mai fled 
the room; it was just too much.

	Hanai soon returned, frowning.  "Tani-sensei didn't 
call in and they can't get him at home.  Vice Principal 
Osaka will be coming to supervise our homeroom and 
teach English today."

	"Vice Principal Osaka?  Isn't she basically a drug 
addict?" Fuyuki asked.

	"No, she's that way naturally," he said.  
	
	"She's naturally a drug addict?"

	"No, just kind of tripped out," Hanai said.  "Anyway, 
we should await her."

	VP Osaka soon arrived, a flaky looking woman with 
big eyes and long, dull brown hair.  "Hello, everyone.  We 
don't know where Tani-sensei is, though we're also missing 
Tae-sensei, so probably they've eloped together."

	Many gasped in the class.  The men gnashed their 
teeth and wailed in despair.  "The lucky dog!" 
Yoshidayama wailed.

	"Well, 'fish General Motors' as they would say in 
English.  From the latin 'Carpe GM', you see.  I will be 
teaching you all about puns today for your English lesson."

	Everyone stared at her, except for Karen, who tittered 
until everyone turned to look at her.

	"Alright.  I need a volunteer to pun," VP Osaka said.

	Nervously, Karen raised her hand.  "I will try," she 
said.

	" 'Let it rip for the halibut' ", VP Osaka said in 
English.

	" 'Jack the Ripper is now a video pirate' ", Karen said.

	"Oooh, good start," VP Osaka said.  "Someone else 
give it a try."

	There was a deep and deadly silence, as most of them 
did not know English well enough to even try.  Finally, Eri 
said, "'Can I axe you a question?'".  

	VP Osaka began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

	Eri continued, " 'How do I tuna the radio to the right 
station?' "

	VP Osaka began to turn red from laughing.  Everyone 
else just kind of stared.

	Buddha said, hesitantly, " 'When they ask for softcore 
at our video store, I always give them a rotten peach pit,' "

	Osaka turned a delicate purple, then fell over, laughing 
and choking at once.

	"Victory," Eri pronounced, and then Hanai rushed 
over to her.  

 	"If the nurse is missing, who do I take her to?" he 
asked.  

	"The old nurse, Itoko-sensei," Akira said.  "Shouldn't 
you know what to do in an emergency, class rep?"

	He scowled and got Mikoto to help him carry her out.

*************

	At lunch, Tenma went to sit with Karasuma.  It was 
strange; he was friendly, but no more so than before.  She 
wanted to kiss him but everyone was watching, or so it 
seemed, and he didn't seem inclined to start anything.  But 
he was happy to be there, she thought.

	Eri sat with Akira, Nara, Mikoto, and Hanai.  Being 
confronted with wall to wall snuggling did not improve her 
mood.  But she tried to hold back for the sake of her 
friends.  It's not like they drove off Kenji.

	"We're grounded too now," Mikoto told Eri.

	"What happened?"

	"Hanai and I stayed overnight at Miki and Masahiro's 
place," Mikoto said.

	"Technically, it's Miki and her roommate's place.  I 
wonder where the roommate was, anyway," Hanai said.

	"Probably off with a boyfriend," Nara said.

	Eri twitched at the thought of this, feeling rather 
envious.  She didn't have anyone to do that with or a  place 
to do it.  Though Tenma would probably happily let friends 
use her place for such...things.

	"Anyway, we had a very good time," Mikoto said, 
looking a little embarrassed.  "But we're grounded for a 
week."

	"But you can still snuggle up here," Eri mumbled.

	"We're lucky," Mikoto said.

	Hanai nodded, though he looked nervous.

	Eri asked, "How did Lala take it?"

	"She, um, doesn't know yet," Hanai said nervously.

	"Well, you should go dump her today," Mikoto said.  
"Best not to leave her hanging."

	Nervously, Hanai said, "That's true.  I'll do it after 
school.  I'm sure she's busy with lunch right now."

************
	
	"A trial?" Tougo said to the mob gathered around him.

	"You betrayed our class with the class president of 
another class!" Harry said.  "You must be punished."

	2-D roared its support.  

	"I might note that, in fact, Harry and Lala are also 
dating members of 2-C."

	The class turned to glare at them.  Someone shouted, 
"Triple Treason trial!"

	"Recant!  Recant!"

	Harry wondered what that meant.

	"My seduction of her has been a valuable source of 
intel for this class," Tougo began.

	"USER OF WOMEN!" one of the girls shouted, 
throwing a school book at him.

	"Really, she jumped on me," Harry said desperately.  
He took a book to the face as well.

	Lala stood up on her desk.  "Yes!  He's my boyfriend 
and I'm proud of it!  And if that is treason, then I will make 
the most of it!"

	The women seemed satisfied with this.  The men, 
however, shouted, "TRAITOR!  BRING OUT THE HOT 
SAUCE!"

	Little did they realize this was like throwing Br'er Fox 
in the briar patch...

***************

	Karen wasn't sure if she could handle seeing Lala at 
wrestling practice after school.  She was still feeling 
irritated at Lala wrecking her date.

	She was surprised to find everyone asleep, except for 
an annoyed looking Lala.

	"What happened?" she asked.

	"I don't know," Lala said.  "I expect they're trying to 
tease me."  She frowned.

	Karen came over; the air had a strongly spicy smell to 
it.  "What's this weird smell?"

	"My class can't handle me dating Haruki-kun," Lala 
said.  "So they made me drink two bottles of hot sauce."

	The wave of her breath now hit Karen.  Her eyes 
crossed as super intense hot spice flavor rushed over her.  
Karen fainted.

	"Why is everyone in this school so weak?" Lala asked.  
"Who am I supposed to wrestle now?"

	The question went unanswered.

**************

	"Where's Sara?" Asou asked one of her classmates.

	"She's gone hiking with Tsukamoto," one of them 
said.  "Out in the countryside.  I'm surprised, really.  She 
never skips."

	Dammit, Asou thought.  I told Sara this was insane, 
but I guess she didn't listen.  Now I have to go find her 
before she does something stupid.  

	So WHERE is she?

**************

	Sara hiked with Yakumo, being glad that her nun 
outfit was nice and warm in winter time.  She'd brought her 
guns, just in case, though it did seem quite peaceful.

	She looked over at Yakumo, who tramped along, 
seemingly having no doubt as to where she was going.  
Sara wished she had that level of serenity.  

	An owl perched in a tree, looking down at them.  
Yakumo waved to it and continued ambling through the 
hilly forest.  

	The third time they saw the owl, Sara began to worry.  
"Yakumo-chan, we're not going in a circle, are we?"

	"What?  No, of course not," Yakumo said.  "We're 
following my heart.  I'm sure we'll find Kenji soon."

	Sara hoped she was right.

************

	The daytime was fine.  The previous night had sucked, 
though.  Harima had grown used to sleeping in a nice warm 
house, and it had been cold and a little damp.  And the 
ground was rough and bumpy.

	On the other hand, today was much better.  Harima 
had just forgotten everything else and spent the day 
drawing animals and trees and everything.  It felt so good 
to just do what he wanted, to just slack off and forget about 
women.

	He'd only had to punch one gorilla, thankfully.

	The problem was going to be when his food supply 
ran out.  But that wouldn't happen for days; he'd stocked up 
on cup ramen.  It wouldn't be great, but he could live on it.  
And when he ran out, he'd go back.

	But for now, he would relax and enjoy himself and 
NOT think about women at all.  There was, thankfully, 
nothing here to remind him of Tenma.

	His hand shook a moment, and he fought off the urge 
to draw her.  He had to forget her or he would go mad.  
And thinking about her led him to Eri and Yakumo and he 
didn't want to go there.

	Stupid Hanai and his three girlfriends, Harima 
thought.  How does he do it?

************

	Yuuki hadn't been at school at all, which worried 
Hanai a little.  But not as much as Lala, who he took more 
seriously.  He'd spent the whole day half worrying about 
Yakumo and half trying to figure out what to say to Lala.  
Also, half of him was wondering if he and Mikoto were 
pushing too fast.  Was it really fair of him to do that with 
her when his mind still had a big chunk of Yakumo in it?  
He was worried half to death about her.  That wasn't fair to 
Mikoto.

	He finally found Lala with a hose in her mouth, 
drinking like she was dying of thirst.

	"Lala-san, what are you doing?" she asked.

	"Stay back," she said.  "My breath is still a mess."  
Gargle, gargle.

	"What?"

	"Our class put us on trial for dating members of yours.  
I had to drink two bottles of hot sauce.  They disassembled 
Harry's bike and hid the pieces around the school.  And 
Tougo..."  She shuddered.

	"And Tougo?"

	"They shaved his head," she said, shuddering and 
touching her own raven locks.  

	"That is kind of harsh," he said, imagining a bald Lala 
and shuddering.

	Lala held a hand close to her face and breathed out 
onto it.  Her eyes crossed.  "Dammit," she said.  "My breath 
is still harsh.  No kissing today."

	Hanai tried to steel himself to get to the point.  "Lala, 
Saturday..."

	Lala suddenly looked very embarrassed.  "People don't 
normally make out like that where people will see them 
from the parking lot, do they?  Tougo was claiming this 
was common."

	"..."

	"I mean...I'm not afraid to make out with someone, but 
doing it with people watching you seems kind of freaky to 
me.  Kind of like you are under the hypnotic influence of 
your sex drive," Lala continued, oblivious to Hanai's brain 
melting.  "I mean, at least they didn't have sex with people 
in the same room.  That would just be utterly perverted."

	I am such a pervert, he thought.  If I don't break things 
off with Lala, she'll end up dragged into my web.  Even 
Imadori doesn't have sex with people watching.  It had been 
exciting; he'd liked it and it had scared him at the same 
time.  Also, Miki had looked rather good naked.

	He shook his head.  Don't think about Miki!  I have 
too many women already, he thought.  I mean, I don't 'have' 
them, but they're after me.

	Which was kind of exciting too.  Lala was a definite 
looker and Yuuki was endearingly sweet and innocent.  
Except when she was evil, anyway.  

	He shook his head again.  No, I have to be a man.  I'm 
Mikoto's boyfriend now and even if Yakumo is dying in a 
ditch because I'm not there...

	"Haruki-kun, are you okay?" Lala asked, sounding 
concerned.

	"I'm fine," he lied, feeling himself start to spazz out.  

	She stepped up to him, forgetting about her breath, 
and pulled him in close.  The hot sauce smell would 
normally have jarred him out of it, but now his brain was 
contemplating kissing her which was exactly the WRONG 
thing to do.  "What's bothering you?" she whispered softly.

	He wished he could tell her.  But he couldn't.  I'm 
pathetic, he thought.  I can't resist any woman who comes 
after me, he thought.  They all deserve better.  It was far too 
tempting to think about letting this all drag out longer, the 
better to...

	No, he wouldn't.  And Yakumo, all alone in the 
wilderness...

	He felt like he was going to burst.  "Lots of people in 
my class acting crazy," he mumbled.  "And I'm the one 
who is supposed to be responsible."

	"Anything I can do to help?" she asked.

	"Take me to the nurse station," he mumbled.  "I want 
to lie down."

	She took him to the station, where Itoko laid him on a 
bed and gave him a once over.  "IMS, I see," Itoko said.

	"Is that bad?" Lala asked.

	"Most boys his age suffer it," she said.  "Just let him 
rest a while."

	"Okay," she said, then kissed his cheek.  "I have to 
run.  I have practice," she said.

	"Good luck," he mumbled.

	Once she was gone, he asked, "What is IMS?"

	"Idiot Male Syndrome.  You can't keep this up forever, 
you know," she said.

	"I know," he said, sighing.  "I meant to tell her."

	"Meaning isn't enough.  Get your head on straight and 
be a man.  At least Imadori never hides his feelings."

	Hanai felt gut-punched at that.  I need to get my head 
on straight, he thought.  Harima had the right idea.  I've got 
to get out of the middle of this and get my head on straight.  

**************

	Yakumo sat quietly, cooking soup.  Sara watched the 
woods; she had the vague feeling of being watched.  Once 
it was ready, she ate her bowl with her back to the fire, 
watching the trees.

	"I'm pretty sure we're safe," Yakumo said.

	"I saw something watching us," Sara said.

	"It's just a duck or something," Yakumo said, seeming 
unafraid.

	"Something moved!"  Sara insisted, then pointed at a 
rustling bush.

	Yakumo gripped her staff.  Sara pulled her pistols, 
though she didn't want to use holy bullets on wildlife if she 
didn't have to.  

	Then the tanuki curiously stuck its head out, looking at 
them.  Seeing the pistols, he turned and ran.

	Yakumo smiled a little, relaxing.  "He was cute."

	Sara sighed.   "Okay, just a tanuki."

	But when she went for seconds, a third of the soup 
was gone...

************

	Eri had no choice, really.  No one else was going to go 
kick Harima's ass for being an idiot, so it fell to her.  Even 
if this would likely get her grounded for life.  The life of 
the Sun.

	She finished checking her box of shells, adjusted her 
hat, pulled on her boots, then buttoned her riding jacket.  It 
would be cold.  She finished packing her saddlebags, then 
swung up onto the back of the horse.  She didn't have a 
motorcycle, but Gold would have to do.  

	"Hiho, Gold, away!"  She spurred him out of the 
stables, only to be confronted by Butler-san.

	"Is Miss going on a hunting expedition?"

	"Yes, I'm hunting Harima for running away."

	"And you will find him by...?"

	Eri frowned, having not really thought of that.  "Japan 
is small.  He hasn't got much room to hide."

	"I would like to remind Ojou-sama that Japan is one 
and a half times the size of the United Kingdom and has, 
thus, many places to hide," Butler-san said.

	"I have to go find him," she said urgently.

	"Because you love him," Butler-san said neutrally.

	"No!  I want to kick his ass!" she said.

	He stared at her.

	She stared at the ground, mumbling, "Well, maybe."

	"Your parents will be angry," he said.

	"I don't care.  I have to do this."  She stared at him, 
trying to get him to move by sheer force of will.

	And to her surprise, he stepped aside.

	"Thank you," she said softly, and then rode off.

	He went upstairs to her father's office.  "The tracer is 
in the saddlebags, sir.  Are you sure this is wise?"

	"She'll become unmanageable otherwise," he said.  
"I'll ground her for life when she returns.  Keep an eye on 
her."

	"Yes, sir."

	Now it was time for him to saddle up.

*************	

	Hanai hesitated.  He couldn't just leave them all notes; 
that would be cheesy.  He wouldn't be a coward that way 
like Harima had been.  But if he tried to tell them, he'd 
wimp out, like he did with Lala.  Also, he was grounded, 
and if he left, then he'd be in trouble.  Unless...

	He found his father.  "I think, since I'm grounded, we 
should take this chance to go take a training trip," he said.  
"As I can't go and do anything else."

	His father looked at him curiously.  "Who's out to kill 
you this time, boy?"

	"I...no one.  I just thought..."

	"You want out of town without getting in trouble," he 
said.  "Did you get Mikoto-chan pregnant?"

	"No!"  Though he hadn't thought to use any protection 
and suddenly felt guilty about it.

	"Did you get Miki-san pregnant?"

	"I didn't even touch her!!!!" Hanai said.

	His father smiled a little. "Lala?"

	"NO ONE IS PREGNANT!" 

	"Just can't bring yourself to dump Lala?"

	Hanai stared at the floor.

	His father sighed.  "Boy, you're going to have to do it.  
And I won't let you run away from it."

	"But to make sure, I'll invite both of them on the 
training trip.  You will either dump her or they'll both kill 
you."  He smiled like someone anticipating a good brawl.

	"But if I dump her on the trip, she'll be angry at me the 
rest of the way back!" Hanai protested.

	"What you get for stringing her along," Hania's father 
said, shaking his head sadly.

	Never speak to Father again, Hanai resolved.  I should 
have learned this long ago.

*************

	Mai lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.  She couldn't 
face them.  She couldn't go back.  Not when she didn't even 
know her own heart about all this.  It could never work; she 
knew that from the start.

	But she didn't want to let go, either.  She liked him 
and still found him attractive.  Maybe dangerously so.  

	So, for now...she'd just miss a few days, take the time 
to think.  Her parents wouldn't even notice, anyway.

**************

	"So how did she take it?" Mikoto asked as she, Akira, 
Nara, Tenma, and Hanai walked to school together.

	Hanai mumbled to himself.

	"Chickened out before you could tell her?" Akira 
asked archly.

	"I...no, she..."  He sighed.  "Yes."

	"What, does Mikoto giving you her virginity mean 
NOTHING to you?" Akira asked.

	Tenma blushed, imagining the two of them, making 
love and...  She chased the thought out of her mind, trying 
to focus on Karasuma.  

	Mikoto turned red, then began to look angry.  Hanai 
visibly started, then stared at Akira in surprise, wondering 
how she knew.  "That's between us!" Mikoto said.  "Stop 
judging my boyfriend!"  She sounded very cross.  Then she 
turned to Hanai.  "Haruki-kun, you are too kind to people 
who do not deserve it.  It'll be easier on her the less you let 
it drag out."

	"I just...she had to drink hot sauce and..."  He paused 
and made himself do a breathing exercise.

	"She deserved a lot worse than that," Akira said.  "You 
shouldn't coddle that thug."  Her voice was cool, with only 
a hint of steel.

	"How can you stand to be friendly with someone who 
would beat up Akira like that?" Nara demanded, angrily.

	"If I hated everyone I got in a fight with here, I'd hate 
a LOT of people," Hanai said.  "And that fight wouldn't 
have happened if Karen and Imadori hadn't decided to let 
other people get beat up in their place!"

	"_I_ stand up for my classmates, _class rep_," Akira 
said flatly.  

	"Don't tell Haruki how to do his job!" Mikoto said, 
stepping between them.  "And _I_ will decide if I ought to 
be mad at him or not, not you."

	"Please don't fight," Tenma said weakly.

	"Have you slept with Gonzales too?" Akira demanded.

	"No!!!!" Hanai shouted.  Now he was starting to get 
mad.  He stormed up to shout over Mikoto's shoulder.  "I 
have never done that with anyone but Mikoto-kun."  Even 
if he had fantasized about it with Yakumo...or Lala...or... 
but that didn't count.  Dammit.  He wrapped his arms 
around her and she jumped a little.  "I'm not that kind of 
guy."

	"Just the weakling who can't say no to a woman he 
doesn't want," Akira said, sounding slightly disgusted.  She 
put an arm around Nara, who did the same to her.  "I'm 
lucky I have a real man who knows what he wants."

	"Yeah, a real man who leaves his girlfriend behind to 
be clobbered while he runs for help," Mikoto said angrily.

	Nara suddenly looked very guilty, staring at the 
ground.

	"He wanted to stay, but I made him go; there would 
have been no point.  I'd rather have a boyfriend who 
sensibly stays out of fights he can't win than one who won't 
dump his other girlfriend because he likes having two 
girlfriends!" Akira's voice rose to what would be slightly 
irritated in most, but meant more in her case.

	"That's enough," Tenma said, trying to be firm.  
"Please, let's not fight."  Her voice was pleading.

	"Lala-san is not my girlfriend!" Hanai protested.  "I 
am not a two timer!"  But he felt like one; the guilt gnawed 
at him slowly, but firmly.

	"Don't accuse my boyfriend of being a two-timer!" 
Mikoto said.  "I am tired of the way you always snipe at 
Haruki-kun.  What did he ever do to you?"

	"He's not worthy of you," Akira said.  "A man who 
two times is worthless."

	Nara frowned.  Technically, that included his Dad.  
And Mother.  Well, she wasn't a man.  But their situation 
was unusual and he didn't want to undercut his girlfriend.  
So he kept silent for now.

	"That is enough," Tenma said more firmly, pushing 
between Mikoto and Akira.  "I don't want to see my friends 
fighting."

	That got them to back off, but they ended up walking 
to school in fuming silence.

************

	Akira looked up in surprise at Asou.  "Is something 
wrong, Asou-san?"

	"Sara has run off into the wilderness with Yakumo on 
some insane quest to find Harima.  Never mind that I can 
hardly imagine how they expect to find him.  I can't just sit 
back and wait for them to get hurt, which means I have to 
find them.  I'm hoping you have some idea how, as Suga 
and I brainstormed for two hours and couldn't think of a 
plan."

	"Did you try calling them?" Akira asked.

	"..."

	"Crazy, and yet it might work," Suga said 
sarcastically.

	"Will they work out there?" Asou asked.

	"It's worth trying."

	"Okay, then let's give Sara a call..."

************

	Mikoto took Hanai aside before class.  "You have to 
dump her today, Haruki-kun," she said.

	"Dad wants the two of you to go on a training trip with 
him for the rest of the week of grounding," Hanai 
mumbled.

	"..."

	"Yeah, I know," he said, staring at the floor.  "Dad's 
crazy."

	"We can't...I mean, a week with you would be 
nice...look, you have to dump her so she won't want to 
come," Mikoto said.  "Don't wimp out."

	"I did not wimp out!" Hanai protested.

	"I could dump her myself, but it would just lead to her 
disbelieving me and probably starting a fight," Mikoto said.  
She poked him in the chest.  "I know you don't want to hurt 
her feelings, but you're going to have to.  You shouldn't 
have let it drag on this long."

	"Well, she's hard to say no to," Hanai said.  "And I 
wasn't really seeing anyone.  I mean, we were just faking it 
and..."

	Mikoto stared at the ground.  "Haruki-kun, you really 
like me, don't you?  I mean...I'm not just pushing you into 
being my boyfriend for real, am I?"  Her voice was soft and 
nervous.

	There was really only one thing he could say in a 
situation like this.  Swallow his doubts and worries and 
internal mental divisions.  This wasn't the time to admit to 
his own inner worries or to note the part of his brain 
fretting over Yakumo.  Akira was right; she'd given him her 
most precious thing and here he was, holding himself back 
from her.  I am a dog, he thought.  But saying that would 
only hurt her.  He could at least give her as much as a dog 
like him could manage.  He cared about her, and she was a 
good girlfriend, after all.  "I care about you very much," he 
told her.  That was truthful at least.  "I don't know if I can 
be a very good boyfriend, but I will try," he told her.  "I 
was just very surprised when you changed your mind."

	"You helped me get over Masahiro," she said softly.  
"And all the...it felt right, being your girlfriend.  I liked it.  
And I like you, Haruki-kun.  You're the man for me, 
whatever Akira may say."

	"I'd think she was jealous, but she has no interest in 
me and she has a boyfriend, so I just don't get it," Hanai 
said, sighing.  "I don't want to hurt your friendship with 
her, but I'm not going to put up with her insulting me."

	"Let her cool off," Mikoto said.  "I'll figure something 
out."

	He suddenly wondered if Yakumo was okay, then told 
himself to stop.  Surely, she was fine.

****************

	Yakumo walked stiffly next to Sara, who looked wary, 
gun in hand.  Something had stolen some of their food at 
each meal and 	now they had the feeling of being watched.  
She tried to follow her heart, but it was preoccupied with 
potential danger.

	And then the phone rang.  

	Sara grabbed her phone.  "Hello?"

	"Hello, this is Asou," Asou said.  "Are you still in the 
wilderness?"

	"Yes, and something is stealing our food."

	"..."

	"We're not sure if it's evil spirits, hobos, or tanuki," 
Sara continued, nervously.

	"I told you not to go," he said flatly.

	"I couldn't leave Yakumo alone," she said.

	He glanced over at Suga and thought about all the 
crazy things they'd gotten into due to Suga's 'clever plans'.  
He sighed.  "Look, we're going to come find you.  I will go 
crazy worrying about you otherwise."

	She smiled.  "That's really sweet of you."

	"We probably should bring my girlfriend so she 
doesn't fret," Suga said.

	"You two still going out?" Asou asked him in surprise.  

	"Yeah, she's pretty cool," Suga said.  

	"And we're bringing Suga's girlfriend.  Try not to bite 
each other."

	"I won't bite her," Sara promised.  "She's not in my 
way any more."  Beat.  "I mean..."

	He laughed.  "How altruistic of you."

	"Don't tease me!" she protested, blushing a little.

	"Only when you deserve it," he said.  "Where are 
you?"

	"Somewhere east of Ombetsu," she said.  "We 
followed the stream into the mountains."

	"Well, that's a start," he said.  "I'll call you again when 
we get closer."

	"Good.  Come as quick as you can."

	"We will," he said, then said, "Take care of yourself, 
Sara-san."

	"I will, Asou-san," she said.  "See you soon!"

	He hung up and then said to Akira, "Thank you."

	"You're welcome."

	"Come on, Suga, let's steal your girlfriend and go."

************
	
	Dump Lala, Hanai told himself.  Or we're screwed.  
He went to see her at lunch.  She seemed to be working on 
a master plan to destroy Imadori.  'Stage six:  Shave 
Imadori bald.'

	"Lala, got a minute to talk?" he asked nervously.

	"Sure," she said, her mood suddenly lightening.

	He took her aside and they headed outside.  She was 
smiling, and he felt his stomach curdle.  He couldn't stand 
to smash up a smile like that.  It would be terrible.

	Lala sat down on a bench with him and took his hand.  
She was so bold; he kind of liked bold.  Was she going to 
jump on him like Mikoto had?  Part of him liked the idea; 
the rest felt rather guilty over that.  What if Yakumo was 
lying somewhere, injured, while he made time with Lala?

	"You're grounded through the weekend, right?" she 
asked.

	"Yes."

	"Dammit," she said, frowning a second, then smiling 
again.  "Well, we can go out the next weekend."

	"Lala, I..."

	"Hmm.  I'd like to go dancing.  Does that sound good 
to you?"  She smiled at him in a way he realized he never 
saw her smile at anyone else.  She really likes me, he 
thought, and felt his stomach sour more.

	"I like dancing," he mumbled.

	"Is something wrong?"

	"No, nothing's wrong," he said instinctively, then 
regretted it.  Now what could he do?  You couldn't say that, 
then dump someone.  This was getting pathetic.

	Suddenly, his father came out from behind a tree.  
"What my son is trying to do is to see if you want to come 
with us on our training trip.  We leave tomorrow morning.  
I will be trying to beat some new moves into his head."

	"Yes!" she said enthusiastically.  "I'd love to."

	I am so dead, he thought.  NEVER TALK TO 
FATHER AGAIN.  

**********

	"Honey, is this wise?" Hanai's mother asked his father 
later. 

	"Sometimes you have to rub the dog's nose in it, 
honey," he said.

	"But what if they kill him?"

	"Pain is a great teacher," Hanai's father said.  

	"Just be careful."  She sounded worried.

	"I'll only let him get somewhat maimed," Hanai's 
father said, leaning on the counter.

	Hanai's mother hoped that was true, but feared it was 
not.  But it was out of her hands.

***************

	Eri decided, as the cops chased her, that riding through 
the city on horseback with a rifle in her hands, had not been 
the wisest of possible ideas.  She was just kind of nervous, 
being out here in the boondocks.

	She didn't want to shoot at them, but short of being 
arrested, she wasn't sure what else she could do.  They 
would soon figure out how to cut her off somewhere, once 
enough cops showed up.

	If she could reach the right edge of town, she could 
head into the forest, she just...

	And then she saw it; there was a shopping mall.  She 
leaned down and galloped across the parking lot, cop cars 
in hot pursuit, people scattering.  A good shove with her 
gun opened the doors and she rode into the mall, sending 
more people fleeing.

	Mall security dove out of her way and she rode along, 
tossing some money into a small food stall and grabbing a 
bowl of ramen.  She ate desperately as her horse galloped 
along, tossing the empty laminated box into a trashcan as 
she erupted out the end of the mall.

	Far behind, the cops had to circle around, except for 
one stubborn cop car which she now realized had driven 
THROUGH the mall.

	"I recognize you despite the disguise, Lupin!" a 
middle aged detective in a fedora and trenchcoat shouted 
out the window.

	What the hell?, she thought.

	"I WILL CATCH YOU!"

	She raced towards the gulley on the far side, which 
had been nicely dug down and concreted by some pork 
barrel project.  She rode down the slope and up the other 
side; the cop car tried to follow her but got stuck.

	"I WILL FIND YOU!" the cop shouted as she rode 
off.

	Not if I can help it, Eri thought.

*************

	After the latest gorilla attack, Harima decided it was 
time to find out why the gorillas were angry.  So he 
dragged one of them off with him to a safe distance from 
the knocked out others, and waited for him to wake up.

	Upon awakening, the gorilla leaped at him, and he had 
to wrestle it down.  "Why are you attacking me?"

	"You always punch every gorilla you see!" the gorilla 
protested.

	"No, I don't!  I've hardly even met any gorillas until 
this trip," Harima said.  "Did you mistake me for someone 
else?"

	"Aren't you Lord Harima?"

	Harima liked the sound of that, but clearly there was 
some mistake.  "I'm not a lord."

	"You are missing his harem..."

	"Harem?" Harima asked.

	"Witch Yakumo and Sorceress Eri."

	"What, he's dating both of them at once?" Harima 
asked.  He sounded surprised.

	"Yes."

	That two-timing monkey! Harima thought.  Even 
though it made him a little envious.  "I must find him and 
punch him in the face."  He struck a pose of righteous 
vengeance.

	"Join our crusade against him!" the gorilla offered, 
holding out a hand.

	Harima took his hand.  "I will!  Let us destroy this 
two-timer!"  I will show Tenma how I listen to what she 
tells me!  I will prove I am not a monkey by 
DESTROYING a monkey!

	He won't know what hit him.

*************
	
	"Why isn't he here yet," Sara mumbled nervously as 
she and Yakumo kept walking through the woods.

	"It's a long trip," she said.  She felt less nervous, 
having managed to have lunch without losing it.  Still, it 
was taking a long time, it seemed like.

	They heard a noise and looked up, but they couldn't 
see anything.  Sara frowned.  "I think maybe we're being 
followed again."

	Yakumo sighed and wished she could talk to animals.  
It would make things so much simpler.  She looked up and 
studied the wildlife...a few birds, squirrels, maybe a dog.  
But that was all.  And the dog was leaving.

	She could see Sara's mind, nervous yet full of 
affection for her.  She suddenly felt guilty for dragging 
Sara into this.  It wasn't her quest.  "I'm sorry," she said 
softly to Sara.

	"Don't worry.  This is what friends are FOR," Sara 
said firmly.

	This made Yakumo feel better.  "Let's press on, then."  
She looked around at the ground.  "I wish I could track."

	"If Harima was a ghost, I could track him.  But he's 
not," Sara said.

	"Well, God wills this.  We'll find a way," Yakumo 
said confidently.

	Sara smiled a little.  It was strange to see her acting so 
strongly.  I guess love really does make us strong, she 
thought.  I hope Asou gets here soon, she thought.  I miss 
him.

************

	Satsuki said, "Helicopters are awesome," as they 
zoomed over the forest.
	
	"Yeah.  This is great.  I wish they'd told me Tea Club 
gets to cruise around in high tech military equipment," 
Suga said.  "Are you guys secretly some global 
conspiracy?"

	"Yes," Itoko said.

	He laughed loudly, while Asou watched the ground 
warily.  He didn't like flying.  Especially with so easy a fall 
to the death handy.

	"Cool.  Do we get black hats and mirrorshades?" Suga 
asked.

	"They're in the equipment locker."

	"Awesome," Satsuki said.  "Let's suit up."

	"I do not want..." Asou began.  He soon found himself 
in a black suit and hat with mirrorshades.  "You two just 
don't listen," he grumbled.

	"You would die of boredom if I listened," Suga said.

	"Maybe I like boredom," Asou said.

	"You picked the wrong school," Itoko said.

	He had to admit she was right.

*************
	
	Tenma ate her ramen quietly; it tasted awful despite 
her efforts.  She was feeling rather lonely with so many of 
her friends leaving or gone and her sister gone.  I hope she's 
okay, Tenma thought.  

	She tried to watch TV, but she just didn't care.  She 
got out her phone and called Akira.  Akira answered.  
"Hello, Tenma-chan."

	"Hi," she said softly.  "Can you stay over with me 
tonight?"

	"Yes.  Can Nara come?"

	Tenma wasn't sure.  Part of her wanted all the 
company she could get; part wanted to be able to talk about 
men without any men around.  But she didn't want to make 
them split up.  "Sure."

	"Thank you," Akira said, her voice a little warmer 
than usual.

	"I wish I could invite Karasuma to stay here," Tenma 
mumbled.

	"What's stopping you?"

	Tenma blushed.  "It's so bold and his parents and 
you...and..."

	"You should," Akira said.

	"Akira-chan!" Tenma said in surprise.

	"I can call him if you are scared to," Akira said.

	"I...he...do you think...they'd let him come?"  Her heart 
was pounding fit to leap out of her chest.

	"Yes," Akira said.  "He's a good man, not like Hanai 
the two-timer."

	"Two-timer?  Did he..."  Tenma felt her heart clutch 
again.

	"He's taking Gonzales and Mikoto-chan on a training 
trip," Akira said, her voice growing a little harsher.

	"THAT MONKEY!" Tenma said.  "I can't allow him 
to do that to Mikoto-chan!"

	"He is indeed a monkey.  He'll no doubt be dreaming 
of Yakumo the whole time, too."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  The 
wrath of Tenma would be a terrible thing if it was the wrath 
of someone more scary and less cute and cuddly.

	"Breathe."

	Tenma had to make herself breathe.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  
BREATHE.  Finally, she calmed down.  "You have to 
come over so we can plot to destroy him.  I'll get Karasuma 
to help me.  Hanai will PAY for hurting Mikoto-chan!"  
She struck an impressive pose which no one could see.

	"Okay.  See you soon," Akira said.

	Tenma was so worked up, she called Karasuma 
without even thinking about it.  "Karasuma house," 
Karasuma replied.

	"Karasuma-kun, you must come over and help Akira-
chan and Nara-kun and I plot how to destroy Hanai for 
two-timing," Tenma said.

	"Okay."

	"Bring a pillow and a change of clothing; we may be 
up at it all night."

	"Okay," he said.

	"See you soon!"

	"Okay."

	"Bye!"  She hung up.  It was only afterwards she 
realized she'd invited him over.  And Akira was bringing 
her boyfriend.  And...

	What if they all got worked up with passion and 
then...and then...she could see it in her mind's eye.  Her 
brain overloaded and she passed out.

***********

	Harima chugged wine and sang confusing songs about 
picking lice off each other's back with his new gorilla 
friends.  A few rounds of drinking songs had removed the 
edge of hostility many in the camp had originally had for 
him, and it dulled his ability to remember why he came 
there.

	Finally, once they were all smashed, it was time to try 
and plan how to catch Lord Harima and his two-timing 
harem.  Harima suggested luring him with a third 
girlfriend, but they had no candidates.

	"How about Mikoto?  She's kind of cute, he might go 
for her," Harima suggested.

	The gorillas consulted and decided this was 
reasonable.  The hard part would be getting a forged love 
note into his hands, but they decided to party some more 
and decide on THAT in the morning.

	This was definitely the life, Harima thought.  And if 
all goes well, I'll be able to show I'm not a monkey!  Then 
Tenma will...

	But she wouldn't.  She loved Karasuma.

	He decided to drink until he forgot that.

	Instead, he forgot how to stand up first.

**************

	Eri was about to shoot herself a deer when it suddenly 
hit her that she had no idea how to skin it or prepare it 
properly or to preserve it so she didn't end up wasting most 
of it.  She sighed and instead dismounted, started a fire, and 
tried to brew herself some coffee like she'd seen in some 
old movies.

	The result was nasty beyond human belief; she ended 
up with a hideous sludge; even her sandwiches couldn't get 
the nasty taste out.  She looked around and sighed.

	She was lost.  She didn't know how to find Harima or 
if he was even anywhere nearby.  And now this crazy 
police inspector was after her.  But at least he'd never find 
her here.  Not lost in the wilderness to the point where she 
didn't know her location.

	"AHAH!  THERE IS LUPIN!"

	Eri cursed and vaulted into the saddle and rode.  
STUPID POLICE.
	
***************

	Dinner had gone missing.

	It looked like rain.

	The wind was blowing coldly.

	And Sara was all out of gum.

	She just couldn't take it any more.  There was 
something, something in the darkness... waiting... 
watching... mooching food...  Not a demon; she couldn't 
sense it.  Or one too mighty for her.

	And then there was the sound of a helicopter.  She got 
out her phone and rang Asou up.  "Asou-kun, is that you?"

	"It's hard to see down there.  Are you near a 
campfire?"

	"Yes," Sara said, peering up at the dark sky.

	"We're coming down."

	The chopper soon landed, and Asou, Satsuki, Suga, 
and Itoko piled out.  "Are you okay?" Asou asked Sara 
urgently.

	"I'm fine, Asou-kun," she said, taking his hands.  
"Thanks for coming."  She felt tremendously relieved, 
smiling at him broadly.  She felt safer with him there.  

	"We should camp; we can search with the chopper 
tomorrow," Itoko said.

	"Something keeps stealing our food," Yakumo said 
worriedly.

	Itoko scanned the darkness.  "We brought food.  Let's 
set up and keep watch, see if we can catch them.  I will 
prepare a perimeter."  She vanished into the darkness.

	Satsuki said, "I'll clobber whatever it is.  Don't worry."  
She peered into the darkness, trying hard to look cool.

	Suga grinned a little.  "Probably tanuki.  They like to 
steal food."

	Sara hoped it was JUST tanuki.  But at least she had 
Asou by her side now.  It was going to be okay.  

**************
		
	Tenma woke up confused on her bed.  "How did I get 
here?"

	Karasuma kneeled by her bed.  "I carried you?"

	She saw him and blushed.  He's been here in my 
bedroom the whole time!  She hoped he hadn't done 
anything perverted.  But she could trust him, right?  He 
wasn't a monkey or some kind of fool who runs off into the 
wilderness and makes Yakumo cry.  She still didn't 
understand that.

	On the other hand, if he didn't try anything 
perverted...that didn't mean he didn't like her like that, did 
it?  Now she was a little worried.

	She sat up, thankfully still clothed.  "Is Akira-chan and 
Nara-kun here yet?"

	"Yes," he said.  "Takano-san is making tea."

	She got off the bed quickly.  "Let's go join them."

	They headed out and hooked up with Akira and Nara; 
to her surprise, she saw Akira was all dressed up in a fancy 
dress; she even had her hair dyed and curled again.  Akira 
brought her tea.  "Here you go."  Nara was in a suit too.

	"I...didn't call you away from a date, did I?" Tenma 
asked nervously, feeling guilty.  
	
	"It probably wouldn't have been a good play, anyway," 
Nara said.

	Tenma cringed, but Akira sat down beside her.  "You 
are more fun than any play," Akira said.

	"I am?"

	"No one freaks out as amusingly as you," Akira said.

	"AKIRA-CHAN!!!!" Tenma protested, flustered as 
her antennae flopped up and down.  Nara laughed softly.

	"Case in point," Akira said.

	Karasuma sat down beside her and took her hand.  She 
froze up, unable to look at him.  He didn't say anything, just 
held her hand.  

	Nara came and sat down facing them.  "Anyone for 
poker?"

	"Oooh, yes," Tenma said.  She loved poker.  "Let me 
get the one yen jar.  And we can plot while we play."

	"Fire bombing," Nara said.  "That's the solution."

	Akira said, "Too blatant."  She produced a deck of 
cards and began to shuffle as Tenma ran for the jar.  "I 
already have a Hanai-destroying plan.  We need but modify 
it for the circumstances..."

***********
	
	There had been no thieves of food, so they'd all gone 
to sleep except for setting some watchmen.  Satsuki and 
Suga would go first, Sara and Asou second, Yakumo and 
Itoko third.  Asou's wristwatch woke him at the right time 
and he rolled over and crawled over to wake Sara.

	She awoke to him on his hands and knees over her and 
blushed, saying, "You're so bold, sempai..."

	Now he turned red and rocked back onto his lower 
legs, kneeling by her.  "It's our watch duty!"

	She looked disappointed, or maybe he imagined it.  
She got up, stretching.  He tried not to stare, not that her 
priestess spirit-hunting uniform didn't conceal everything 
pretty well anyway.

	She leaned over, hugging him, and he clumsily 
embraced her.  And then...

	"Oooooooo....." they heard Satsuki moan.

	They both froze up.

	"Oh yes," Satsuki mumbled.  "Yes...yes..."

	Sara and Asou stared at each other, looking red-faced.  
The moaning and pleasure noises continued, and they both 
trembled.

	Asou was about to speak when Sara gave in to the 
images in her head and pounced.  

	A few minutes later, Suga whispered to Satsuki, 
"They're hiding.  I thought they'd come lecture us or 
something."

	"I think maybe our teasing worked too well," Satsuki 
whispered back.  They had quietly concealed themselves 
behind a tree and had been making noises since they heard 
Asou get up, as a prank.

	They crept over and found Sara and Asou making out 
on the ground; her thick, hard to remove outfit was 
hampering their efforts, but they seemed to be enjoying 
themselves.  Satsuki stared; Suga said, "Well, damn.  
Worked better than I thought."

	Satsuki said, "Well, we really can't let them get ahead 
of us, can we?"

	"No, I think not," Suga said.  

	The noise eventually woke up Itoko and Yakumo.  
Yakumo stared in shock, then turned and stared at the 
ground and tried to not think about Kenji.  Itoko crept over, 
then suddenly pounced on Suga and Satsuki, shouting 
"DEATH!"

	They both screamed loud enough to wake the dead.  
Asou and Sara were only starting to react when Itoko 
pounced on them and noogied them both.  "THIS IS NOT 
WHAT YOU DO ON WATCH DUTY!"

	Yakumo mumbled something.

	Satsuki hurriedly got her shirt back on, feeling 
embarrassed.  They all soon were sitting up, each carefully 
staring into the darkness so no one could see their faces.

	"I am going back to sleep.  If people are making out 
when I wake up, I will have to cull this herd," Itoko said, 
then went and laid back down.  "Also, it's rude to make out 
when Yakumo and I don't have anyone to make out with."

	Suga said, "You could make out with each other," 
before his brain had time to veto the words.  

	He went down with a shoe to the head.

	Sara now felt rather guilty; poor Yakumo, she thought.  
I really should have kept control.  But losing it had felt very 
good.

	She laid down and tried to sleep, but it was hard to do 
so.  

	I hope God won't get angry at us for this, she thought.  
The worry of that kept her awake a long time, but finally, 
she slept.

**************

	Tenma felt somewhat jealous, watching Akira sleep 
with Nara cuddled up to her.  She wanted to ask Karasuma 
to stay with her, but she was afraid he'd say no.  And not 
sure if she knew what to do if he said yes.

	So, instead, she sat on the porch, watching the stars.  
Which were vanishing, she now realized.  "Do you see 
that?" she asked.

	"Storm front coming in," he said.  

	She leaned against him groggily, closing her eyes.  I'll 
just rest here a minute, she thought.  Just...a...minute...

**************

	"They should all just jump each other," Sagano said 
sagely to Yuuki.

	They were up in trees, keeping watch while Lord 
Fuyuki, Tani-sensei, Tae-sensei, and Yuri slept.  Tani-
sensei had Yuri on one side of him and Tae on the other, 
and it reminded Yuuki way too much of her problems with 
Hanai and her rivals.  It was last watch, which meant no 
more sleep for the two of them, much as they wanted it.

	"That sort of thing only ends in tears," Yuuki said 
dolefully.  "As I now know."

	"Oh, buck up," Sagano said.  "You're a Legendary 
Harem-Ninja now.  Men will go crazy for you in this 
outfit," she said, idly flapping her baggy pants.  "Or 
mistake you for MC Hammer, but that's a price to pay for 
sexiness."

	"You always find the stupid side of any situation," 
Yuuki muttered, peering into the darkness.  She felt 
overexposed in her harem ninja outfit; she had to 
symphasize with Yuri, who generally clearly felt the same 
way.  Tae and Sagano both seemed to revel in it; every man 
they encountered couldn't stop staring at them.  Which is 
how they'd replenished their food supplies; they found a 
village, and Tae-sensei and Sagano had done a little sexy 
dance thing and suddenly everyone was willing to donate.  
Everyone male, anyway; a lot of the women looked rather 
resentful.

	"You have a nice body, and this outfit accentuates it.  I 
bet Hanai would bow before you if he saw you like this."  I 
bet Fuyuki would go crazy for me in this outfit, she 
thought.  Lord Fuyuki certainly seemed to enjoy looking at 
her.  She gave him a quick glance as he slept, and smiled.

	Yuuki sighed.  "I can't win.  Not against Gonzales and 
Suou.  They have such nice bodies."

	"We'll just have to find you a potion of bustiness, 
then," Sagano said.

	"Potions generally wear off.  I'd need a necklace or a 
bracer or something permanent," Yuuki said.

	Sagano grinned.  "That's the spirit.  Just pretend this is 
a video game, and you'll enjoy it."

	Yuuki shook her head.  "I can't DIE in a video game."

	"Don't worry," Sagano said.  "Legendary warriors 
always win."

	Except in the stories where they die one by one to 
show the futility of war, Yuuki thought.  Let's hope this 
isn't one of those.

**************

	Eri was woken up by her horse making noises.  She 
uncoiled from her sleeping bag, only to see, to her surprise, 
a group of gorillas trying to creep up on her.  Since when 
did Japan have gorillas, she asked herself.  

	She leaped up onto her horses back and charged, firing 
her rifle over their heads in hopes of scaring them off.  
They turned and ran, howling and hooting.  Once they were 
gone, she doubled back to pack her gear, regretting she had 
no good way to take a bath.  

	Stupid gorillas, she thought.  Probably come to join 
that monkey Harima.  She grimaced.  Where is he?

	It was time to eat a sandwich and start looking.  
	
**************

	Hanai sat, already wearing his backpack, and waited 
for death.  He could feel the savage jungle drums beating, 
the headhunters circling...circling...  He couldn't decide if it 
would be worse if Mikoto got here first, or if...

	Mikoto embraced him from behind, then turned his 
head and kissed him softly.  "Hey," she said softly.  "Ready 
to go?"

	"We're waiting for someone," Hanai mumbled.

	"One of your Dad's students?" Mikoto asked, sitting 
down by him.  "I invited someone, but I don't know if she'll 
come."

	Hanai heard the drums beating faster.  "Miki?" he 
guessed.

	"She wanted to see what it's like, so she's gonna come 
with us for just part of it, then go back to school."

	Hanai felt brain cells committing suicide, one by one.  
I AM SO DEAD, he thought.

	"Does she get here soon?" he finally choked out.

	"She was going to meet us at the train station."

	"Good," Hanai said.  He looked around; his dad was 
nowhere to be found.  "The first exercise is to see if we can 
get to the training ground before Dad does.  So we'd best 
sneak out together and get her, then hop a train before he 
can.  He didn't see you come in, did he?"  This would only 
delay death, but Hanai would take what he could get.

	"No."  She paused.  "He really wants us to do that?"

	"Yes," Hanai lied.  He rose, taking her hand.  "Let's 
go."

	He ran as fast as he could.

	Mr. Hanai watched them run from an upper story 
window, and smiled.  This would teach Hanai not to two-
time, if anything did.  He was going to enjoy this.

************

	Tenma woke up on her living room floor with 
Karasuma asleep next to her.  She could smell food in the 
kitchen; Akira and Nara were cooking.  

	She looked over at Karasuma and smiled.  It felt good 
to have him here with her; she felt much less lonely now.

	She leaned over to kiss his cheek, only to realize Akira 
was watching her.  She froze up, then flipped around and 
rose, saying, "Good morning, Akira-chan!"

	Akira nodded.  "Good morning.  Better wake your 
Prince Charming; breakfast will be ready soon."

	Tenma blushed.  "I feel so naughty, having him stay 
with me."

	"Naughtiness can be fun," Akira said, winking.  

	Tenma turned more red.  

	"We're both lucky to have boyfriends who aren't 
chasing several women at once," Akira said.  "Whatever 
mistakes he may make, just remember he's better than 
Hanai."

	"He won't know what hit him," Tenma said, smiling 
grimly.  Mikoto would be avenged.	
	
**************

	Yakumo stirred the soup carefully, while Sara added 
spices.  "Oh, we are but two helpless young girls making oh 
so tasty food," Satsuki read from the script.

	"Three," Sara whispered.

	"Three helpless young...we're really not helpless 
either," Satsuki pointed out.

	"Don't tell the thieves that!  They aren't supposed to 
notice we're reinforced," Sara said.

	"Won't they wonder where I came from?" Satsuki 
pointed out.

	"Shhh, just read off the script," Sara said.

	Satsuki frowned at her.  So bossy, she thought.  But 
she read. "Oh, we are but two helpless young girls and a 
third girl whose arrival is not suspicious at all making oh so 
tasty food," she said, following with, "Let us hope that 
whatever keeps stealing our food doesn't come back and 
take it.  Oh, look, a shiny coin!  Let's go get it!"  She 
pointed off to where they'd planted a coin.

	The three of them stepped away from the food towards 
the coin.

	Suga, Asou, and Itoko were concealed under a pile of 
fallen leaves and pine-needles nearby.  They watched 
carefully, observing a blur, followed by a tanuki appearing 
by the pot.  He quickly grabbed it and ran off.

	They leaped up and opened fire on him, but he ran into 
the woods with them chasing, the women close behind.  
They lost him in the woods after some running, but a short 
time later, they heard the sound of screaming.  

	Charging forwards, they found the tanuki with several 
others; all rolling around, rubbing their mouths.  They'd 
carefully dosed the food with too much spice and some 
itching powder to make anyone eating it's mouth itch.  And 
lots and lots of laxatives.

	These did their work, and soon, the tanuki weren't 
much use for anything.  

	Itoko looked over at the others.  "They look so pitiful, 
I can't bring myself to shoot."

	"I think that's punishment enough," Sara said, holding 
her nose.

	Satsuki made a face.  "I'm out of here."

	Yakumo felt a little sorry for them.  "They won't try it 
again."

	They all quickly absented themselves, leaving the 
tanuki to struggle with their own bowels.  "I was expecting 
ninjas," Itoko said.

	"Who steal food?" Asou asked dubiously.

	"Ninjas have to eat too," Itoko said.  "Let's get in the 
chopper and go searching."

	They loaded up and headed out.

**************
	
	Everyone was still milling around after the first class 
was supposed to start.  Tani-sensei hadn't appeared; neither 
had Mai or Hanai.  So they were all goofing off.

	Buddha said to Imadori, "The time is now.  The old 
leaders are gone.  It is time for us to move."

	He nodded and strode to the front of the class.  
"Attention, everyone!  Our class representatives have fled 
into exile due to disgracing themselves with 2-D.  Our 
teacher is missing.  We have reverted to the state of 
nature!"

	Half the class listened; the other half ignored him and 
continued gossiping. Many wondered what he was talking 
about.  For that matter, Imadori wondered about some of 
the speech too, but Fuyuki had insisted it was important to 
justify the revolution.

	"In such a time, we must form a new social contract.  
We have no teacher, no class representatives.  In such a 
time, there is only one choice.  We must choose a new 
leader, and I nominate myself for that role.  Do we have a 
second?"

	Buddha raised his hand.  

	"Alright, let all who..." Imadori began.

	Akira rose.  "I nominate myself as Acting Class 
President, in that case.  Do I have a second?"

	Nara's hand shot up.  

	"If I am chosen Acting Class President, I promise first 
period will be dedicated to the study of DOUJIBIRION and 
hentai manga!"

	Many of the men cheered.

	"If I am chosen Acting Class President, I promise we 
will all turn a profit," Akira said.

	A fair number of people cheered, but not as many as 
had cheered for Imadori.  

	"Also, no hentai manga."

	Most of the women cheered loudly.

	"Free pie for everyone!" Imadori shouted.

	"I will make Imadori-san shut up and make us some 
pie," Akira said.

	It was hard to tell which was cheered more.

	"Akira-chan is the best!"  Tenma shouted.

	"We need a new student council rep too," Kozue 
pointed out.

	"I will take Karen as my running mate," Imadori said.  
"To be our Acting Council Rep."

	Karen's eyes widened.  "Me?"

	"No one I trust more," he said confidently.

	She melted at that, then rose, putting on her mask of 
confidence.  "I will do my best if chosen to serve!"

	Wild cheers ensued.

	"I nominate Nara to act as our Acting Council 
Representative," Akira said crisply.

	This did not produce wild cheers, though Fuyuki did 
shout, "Go, Nara-kun!"

	"If elected, I will do my best to ensure the destruction 
of our rivals in 2-D," Nara said.

	That got more cheers.

	"Everyone knows they hate me most of all," Imadori 
said.  "Vote I^2!"

	"You all know how thoroughly I can destroy whatever 
gets in my way," Akira said.  "I can defeat 2-D with ease."

	"Anything you can do, I can do better," Imadori began 
to sing.  "I can do anything better than you."

	Akira sang back, "No, you can't."  While she did her 
best, she couldn't sing as well as Imadori.

	Karen chorused with Imadori, "Yes, I can."

Akira sang back, "No, you can't," now with Nara 
joining her.  They didn't sound as good as I^2 did, however.

Karen and Imadori chorused a second time, "Yes, I 
can."

	"No, you can't." Nara and Akira sang defiantly.

	Imadori and Karen flowed into the second chorus, 
"Anything you can be / I can be greater. / Sooner or later, / 
I'm greater than you."

	Akira went ahead and played along, allowing Imadori 
to sing the whole song, singing back the replies, then said, 
"You do realize you just sang the woman's part of the 
song?"

	Imadori fell over.

	"Doesn't that mean you sang the man's part?" Karen 
asked.

	Akira only fell over in her mind, but didn't know what 
to say.

	"I think it's time to vote," Kozue said.

	The final vote swung in Imadori's favor by three votes, 
cast by various of his girlfriends.  "I AM THE KING!" he 
proclaimed.

	Karen beat out Nara by an even larger margin, leaving 
him to mope and her to pose with Imadori at the front of 
the room, feeling like queen of the world.

	"And now...DOUJIBIRION!!!!" Imadori proclaimed.  
Let the lessons begin.

*************

	"Sorceress Eri is here, armed with a powerful magic 
wand," the gorillas told Harima.  "If we capture her, we 
could use her to lure Lord Harima into a trap."

	He frowned.  He didn't like taking hostages.  That 
wasn't the manly thing to do.  "We will follow her," he told 
them.  "If she's part of his harem, she will lead us to him."

	The gorillas discussed this and decided it sounded 
reasonable, so they gathered their ape force and moved to 
follow the sorceress.

************
	
	Tani-sensei studied the long shimmering curtain of 
light strung through the trees.  "What is this?" he asked.

	"It's a world curtain.  The boundaries of our world are 
thin, and sometimes openings to other worlds like this 
arise," Lord Fuyuki said.  He seemed unaware of Sagano 
staring at him, as she was prone to do.

	Yuri looked at it hopefully.  "Could it take us home?"

	"Maybe.  Or it may open into a hell dimension of pain 
and eternal nothingness where your soul would be slowly 
devoured over a thousand thousand years," Fuyuki said 
nervously.

	Yuri sighed.  She wanted to go home, though having 
more time to spend with Tanisa was nice.  But she'd never 
been into fighting.  Though it seemed strangely easier here.  
"How much further to the capital?"

	"Once we hit the open plains, it will only be a few 
days."

	"I'm in no rush," Sagano said.  "School was boring, 
anyway."

	"Hmm, that reminds me," Tani-sensei said.  "We 
should work on your English; this is an ideal time to 
practice."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Sagano 
howled.  "Nooooooo."

	Tae-sensei nodded.  "A very good idea," she said.  
"Don't you think so, Ms. Yuri?" she asked Yuri, switching 
to English.

	"I...uh, yes," Yuri replied, hoping she remembered 
enough to not make a fool of herself.

	"Very good," Tani-sensei said.  "Let us begin."

	Next time, don't bring any teachers, Sagano thought.  I 
have to remember that.  And bring Fuyuki.  In cabana boy 
outfit.  Yum.  

*************  

	Seeing that Miki had brought Masashiro with her 
drove another nail into Hanai's coffin.  Trying to outrun his 
father with both of them, plus, what if...he decided not to 
think about it.  "It's good to see you," he lied.

	Miki smiled; she and Mashiro had backpacks with 
camping gear.  He hoped they'd thought to bring a tent, 
though it didn't look like it.  Given the weather looked 
rainy...

	"It's good to see you too," Masahiro said.  "Where's 
your father?"

	"It's a race to see if we can beat him there," Hanai 
said.  

	"Oooh, a race.  Let's go, then!"

	"Back on the train; we have to ride out into the 
countryside, then hike from a village," Hanai said.

	Masahiro looked relieved at that.

	Mikoto came over to Miki.  "It'll be lots of fun."

	"I'm very excited," she said, taking Mikoto's hand, 
then said, "I suppose Hanai's father won't want us all to 
have sex."

	Masahiro stared at her.  Mikoto's jaw dropped.  Hanai 
carefully studied a timetable to avoid exploding.  

	She blinked, then said, "I mean, as couples.  I didn't 
mean in a big pile.  Mikoto-chan no ECCHI."

	Mikoto said, "I didn't...I mean..."  She laughed 
nervously.

	"Father will probably insist on you two having sex 
while Mikoto and I remain celibate, just to taunt us," Hanai 
said dolefully.

	"Well, if we win the race, you can have sex before he 
arrives," Miki said.

	"Honey, we should probably not discuss this on a busy 
train platform," Masahiro said dolefully.

	"I suppose not," she said, letting Masahiro urge her 
onto a train.

	Mikoto took Hanai's arm and whispered, "I would like 
to...if we get a chance."

	Deep in his heart, he knew something would go wrong 
and somehow his father and Lala would find the four of 
them naked in a pile at the bottom of a ravine, having been 
blown into it by a hurricane and then they would die, die, 
die.

	But it might be worth it.

**********
	
	Mai was STILL on her bed, staring at the ceiling.  Her 
folks had gone to work; she was depressed and didn't know 
what to do.  

	Someone knocked on the door.  She staggered out to it 
in her pajamas; they were sturdy cotton and were about as 
decent as most of her clothing, even if it meant she had no 
bra.

	It seemed almost like Tougo had her in an embrace, 
kissing her before she got the door more than a few inches 
open.  They staggered back across the living room, 
smooching, then tripped over the low table; he caught her 
and twisted, taking the fall and letting her land on him, not 
letting go of her body or her lips.

	She blushed, pulling her lips back finally.  "Tougo, my 
parents might come home."

	"I don't mind," he said.  "Like you, I am in exile; 
Hanai has abandoned his post and now Imadori and Seta 
rule in our steads.  Let us reaffirm our love before we 
launch our plan to crush the usurpers."

	"I...Tougo...our love?"  She blushed a bit more.  "I 
always, I mean, I wondered..."  She hated the way he could 
make her feel all shaken up, make her come apart.  And 
yet, she could feel herself getting excited from it.

	"There is no reason to hide it now.  We will be like 
Romeo and Juliet," he said.  "Standing against the feud 
with our love and..."

	Recovering a little composure, she said, "Didn't they 
commit suicide?"

	"We will be like them if they DIDN'T take poison," 
Tougo said.

	She laughed and stroked his hair.  "I missed you," she 
said softly.

	"And I," he confessed.  "Let us make love, then plot 
REVENGE MOST DIRE as we lie together," he said.

	She could go for that.  IMADORI running HER class?  
Hanai abandoning the class?  HEADS would roll.

	But first, moaning.

***********
	
	"I'm afraid Mikoto kidnapped him," Mr. Hanai said to 
Lala.  "We're going to have to track them down and rescue 
him."

	Lala grimaced with rage.  "SCUM!  I will CRUSH 
her."

	"Fortunately, I believe I know where they are going."

	"Let's GO!" Lala said, taking off at a sprint. 

	The wrong way.

	Well, this would be an interesting time, Hanai's father 
thought.  The best kind.

************

	Harima peered over the bush.  It looked like the 
gorillas had confused 'sorceress' and 'cowgirl' to him.  And 
the 'wand' was a gun.  She looked so much like his Eri.  He 
winced at the thought.  She wasn't 'his' Eri.  Even if she had 
proclaimed she loved him.  But that was probably just the 
alcohol talking.  

	He crept along after her; thankfully, she wasn't going 
very fast, so it was easy.  He could tell she was suspicious, 
though; she kept looking around suspiciously.

	It did strike him strange there could be doubles of 
himself, Yakumo, and Eri with the same name here.  It had 
to be doubles...how else could the gorillas have gotten the 
idea of them being his harem or even know the three of 
them existed?  But she looked so pretty, just like his...not 
his, like his classmate, Eri.  

	He let his mind drift.  Eri was probably at school with 
everyone right now, and so was Yakumo and Tenma.  And 
Tenma was likely with...with...

	He couldn't bear to think about it, but he couldn't help 
himself.  Karasuma, he thought.  I've lost to that punk.  It 
pissed him off; everything he wanted, Karasuma did better.  
Why did life have to be so unfair?

	Then he saw it, there was a snake; 'Sorceress' Eri's 
horse had trod on it, and now it was about to bite back.  He 
hurled a rock, clocking it in the head, but now she turned to 
look his way.

	He flung himself flat, and held his breath.  Why did I 
do that?  He'd felt instinctively he ought to protect her.  
Even if his...even if Eri the normal Eri was so hard to deal 
with.

	'Sorceress' Eri said, "Who is there?"  She had her rifle 
ready.

	He kept silent, and finally she grunted, turned, and 
rode on.

	He resumed following her, lost in thought.

**********

	Sara sat next to Satsuki in the chopper, feeling she 
ought to say something, but not sure what.  Yakumo was 
obsessively staring out the windows.

	"Before next time, you have to show him how to get 
your hood off," Satsuki finally said.

	Sara blushed, and Suga laughed, elbowing Asou.  
"You two haven't made out much, eh?"

	"I didn't think you two made out at all," Asou said.  

	"No one can resist my sexy charm," Suga said 
confidently.

	"I was bored," Satsuki said.  Suga began noogying her.  
"Okay, maybe he was a little sexy in the moonlight..."

	Suga said to Asou, "So, we were so sexy you two 
couldn't hold back?"

	"Not talking about it," Asou grumbled.

	"It was just kind of...I mean...I've never seen anything 
like that before," Sara said, blushing.

	"You're pretty innocent, then," Suga said.

	"I am a junior nun," Sara pointed out.

	"Your god won't zap Asou or anything, will he?" Suga 
asked.

	"We need warning to get clear in time," Satsuki said.

	"..."  Asou said.

	Sara laughed.  "No, it's fine," she said.  She hoped.  
What were the odds of a lightning strike on the helicopter, 
anyway?

	Lightning crackled nearby, and Itoko frowned.  
"Storm's coming in.  We're gonna have to land and wait it 
out."

	"We can tell ghost stories," Satsuki suggested.

	"I know some good ones about ghosts I fought," Sara 
said.

	"Are they romantic?" Satsuki asked.

	"No romance," Itoko said.  

	"Missing your girlfriend?" Satsuki asked.

	"My...what?" Itoko asked.

	"You and the art teacher do everything together.  I 
kind of assumed she was your woman," Satsuki said.

	"..."  Itoko stared dumbstruck.

	"Congratulations," Suga said.  "I think you're the first 
person to ever boggle her."

	"Youko and I are not lovers," Itoko said.  "Any more 
than Suga and Asou are."

	"You caught us!" Suga said, putting an arm around 
Asou and grinning.

	Sara's eyes crossed at the thought.

	So did Satsuki's.

	"Don't look at me like that!" Asou demanded.

	"We are just good friends," Itoko said.

	"Queen of de Nile..." Satsuki sing-songed.

	Itoko just shook her head.

	"Bored?" Suga asked Satsuki.

	"A little."

	"The fun will come soon enough," Itoko said.  "I'm 
going to land the chopper.  We can break out some 
sandwiches, then try to scare each other."

	"Sounds good to me, Satsuki said.  

***********

	Harima felt bored out of his skull.  It was miserable 
cold and wet; the bushes mostly covered him, but all he 
was doing was to watch 'Sorceress' Eri, who really didn't 
strike him as magical at all, make camp and hide from the 
rain, grumbling.  He couldn't blame her.

	The gorillas weren't happy either, except for the 
sleeping ones.  And they stank in the rain.  All in all, he 
was starting to doubt his plan.

	That was when Harima suddenly heard his own voice 
shout, "GORILLA PUNCHING TIME!"

	Gorillas began flying everywhere.  Harima rose and 
faced himself; the other him wore a red cap, a white 
peasant shirt, and black trousers.  And he moved like hot 
blazing death.  Harima charged him, but all the gorillas 
came down on him from above, having been knocked 
skywards by the other Harima.  

	Said other Harima now sprinted forwards and scooped 
up 'Sorceress' Eri and leaped onto her horse, galloping off 
with her.  

	"Hey, you left her tent!" Harima said feebly as he 
watched the other him ride away.  

	No wonder the gorillas hate him, Harima thought.  
What a violent, smug bastard.  I will BREAK him.

*************
	
	Eri shivered in the arms of whoever was holding her.  
He looked like Harima, but Harima didn't dress like that 
and he had no sunglasses.

	"You okay, Eri?" 'Harima' asked, smiling at her.

	She felt herself melt and squirmed.  "We left my tent," 
she mumbled.  

	"Once we find the curtain back, I'll find us a new tent.  
Ninja Akira will sell us one for inflated prices no doubt," 
'Harima' said.

	"I...is she here?" Eri asked weakly, laying her head on 
his chest and trying to ignore the rain.  

	"She found me after we got scattered," he said.  He 
sighed.  "We'll never find the legendary harem ninjas now.  
Tenma-sama won't be happy."

	"-sama?" she asked.

	"-himesama," 'Harima' said, sighing.  "The Princess."

	Princess?  What's going on, Eri wondered.  Is this a 
dream?

	They galloped through a shimmering curtain of light 
which confused her more.  Ground level aurora borealis 
what?

	"Okay, the harem ninja trail is here," he said.  "Now 
we just have to find Witch Yakumo and the rest of us."

	I am dreaming, Eri thought.  I'm really asleep in my 
tent.  She felt more comfortable realizing this.

	"What happened to your clothing, anyway?" he asked.  
"Did you have to scavenge local clothing?"  He studied her 
gun.  "Interesting wand."

	"Yes," she said, playing along.  "I did.  And the 
weather wasn't so good for it."

	"That's true, you'd freeze your ass off," he said.  "You 
look hot in that outfit, but it's not so good for winter."

	She wondered exactly what he expected her to wear.  
"So...Harima..."

	"LORD Harima.  If I gotta use your title, I get mine," 
he said.

	She laughed softly.  "Lord Ha..."  The picture, she 
thought.  I was a sorceress, Akira was a ninja...it all was 
clear now.  She was dreaming that.  This would be a fun 
diversion from looking for stupid Kenji.  And maybe...he'd 
be more open to her than the real thing was.  Not that she 
wanted the idiot.  But a little dream fling...might feel good.

	It was just a dream, after all.

**************

	"It looks like rain up there," Miki said, frowning.

	"Martial Artists do not fear rain," Hanai said.

	"It's a long ways off, anyway," Masahiro pointed out, 
staring up into the mountains.  My legs are gonna hate me, 
he thought.

	Hanai paused and looked back across the landscape.  
No sign of Father or Lala.  He would live a little longer.  
He reached over and took Mikoto's hand.  Focus on my 
cute girlfriend, he told himself.

	She smiled at him, and he noticed Miki taking 
Masahiro's hand.  He smiled a little at that.  For all his 
mistakes, they'd helped another couple.  That made up for 
some of it, right?  And he'd helped Mikoto get over 
Masahiro.  

	He thought about what they'd done and got a little 
excited.  He forced himself to think responsibly, even 
though he now felt tempted to take this last chance to make 
out with her before death.  His chance would come soon 
enough.  

***************

	Fuyuki pulled Karen aside at the end of the day, along 
with Karasuma.  "Have either of you heard from Sagano-
san or Yuuki-san?  They're both missing, and I'm 
wondering what's wrong."

	"I don't know," Karen said.

	"They've gone to another world," Karasuma said.

	"..."

	"You're joking," Fuyuki said.

	"No," Karasuma said.  "With Tani-sensei and Tae-
sensei."

	"..."  Karen stared.

	"Shouldn't we do something to get them back?" 
Fuyuki asked.

	"Not yet," Karasuma said calmly.

	Fuyuki felt his nerves jangling.  "You'd do something 
if Tenma was in trouble!"

	"Yes," Karasuma admitted.

	"Please, we have to do something," Karen said.  
"Assuming you're not joking," she said unsteadily.

	"I am not joking.  But the time is not yet right," 
Karasuma said.  

	"I'm not letting you go until you help us!" Fuyuki said, 
grabbing Karasuma's wrist.

	He looked curiously at the hand, then said, "I'm going 
to have a hard time playing guitar if you hold my wrist."

	"Stuff the music!  Sagano is in danger!"

	"I don't think SHE is the one in trouble..."

**************

	Sagano rolled between two howling creatures who 
looked like sculpted hedges gone berserk; she grabbed one 
with each hand and tossed them skywards towards a tree.  
Tae's blades flashed and the creatures came apart into bits 
of shrubbery.  Another battle was over.  

	"WE WIN AGAIN!" Sagano said.  "I can feel the 
XP!"

	Tani-sensei laughed.  Yuri looked confused.  Yuuki 
said, "I don't think we're being given metaphysical XP."

	"That sounds like the stuff Lord Karasuma talks about 
when he's being confusing," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"So, all the time, then?" Sagano asked, coming over to 
pose in front of him.  Not that she was using him as a 
stand-in for the real thing or anything.

	He laughed.

	Yuri sighed.  "Too much fighting."  Even if it was a 
little exciting, fighting was bad.  She leaned against Tani-
sensei, who put an arm around her.  She smiled at that.  

	Tae-sensei leaped down to land by them.  She 
whispered something to Tani-sensei which made his eyes 
widen and his grip on Yuri tighten just a little.  Then she 
came over to Yuri and said, "Well, we should probably take 
a break in our travels.  It's about time to eat anyway."  To 
Yuri, she said, "You look tense.  Want a massage?"

	"Sure," Yuri said.

	They made camp; it was Sagano and Yuuki's turn to 
cook.  Lord Fuyuki helped them in order to hopefully 
counteract Sagano's cooking somewhat.

	Yuri found a nice patch of grass to lay down on; Tae 
had Tani lie down beside her.  Then she leaned over Yuri 
and began massaging her.  "Try not to get dirty thoughts," 
she said to Tani.  His eyes widened and he carefully turned 
his head to watch a pinecone.

	Yuri said, "..."

	"We must set a good example for the children," Tae-
sensei said, then laughed softly.

	"In harem pants and scanty, breast-emphasizing tops?" 
Yuri asked dubiously.

	"We are...well, Tani-san and I are teachers, anyway," 
Tae-sensei said.  

	Yuri winced a little at that, wondering again how close 
those two were.  

	"And we're all adults," Tae-sensei said.  "Even if I 
don't always act like it."

	"You generally seem very mature to me," Tani-sensei 
said, making Yuri feel a little jealous.

	Despite her worries, though, her back was starting to 
feel better; Tae-sensei was a good massager.  She gave a 
happy little cry as the tension she hadn't even realized she 
had finally eased.

	"No naughtiness," Sagano shouted, then laughed.

	Yuri blushed from embarrassment.  Tae-sensei 
shouted, "I will try not to make you listen to our sweet 
love!"

	Yuri said, "Tae-san!!!!!"

	Tani-sensei laughed softly.  "Don't tease her, Tae-san."

	"I bet we could make Tani-san die of embarrassment if 
we tried," Tae-sensei said, laughing softly.

	"Tae-san!!!" Yuri protested.

	"Ahahaha," Tani-sensei laughed nervously.

	Tae-sensei said, softly, "Okay, I'm done.  Your turn, 
Tani-san.  Unless Yuri-san wants to try?"

	Yuri said, "I'm not so good at massage."

	"Well, get up and I'll show you," Tae-sensei said.

	Soon, Yuri was kneeling next to Tani-sensei, kneading 
his back through his flimsy vest, Tae's hands resting on 
Yuri's hands and guiding them, her body pressed to Yuri 
from behind.  Yuri was feeling extremely embarrassed and 
was so glad no one else could see them.  But Tanisa 
seemed to be enjoying it.

	"I'm a lucky man," he mumbled, wiggling at the 
touches.

	Yuri felt her nervousness gradually turning into a 
pleasant excitement.  She'd daydreamed about something 
like this in high school, but never gotten her chance.  
Hadn't she always wanted some chance for them to go off 
away together?  Really, this wasn't so bad.  It was nice, 
even, touching his back, feeling his muscles, listening to 
Sagano whisper....wait.

	She looked over and saw Sagano, Yuuki, and Lord 
Fuyuki spying on the three of them.  Lord Fuyuki was 
whispering, "I say they have sex in ten minutes."

	"Five," Sagano whispered.

	"I say they kill us in four," Yuuki whispered.

	And then, with a great whiz-bang, the cook pot boiled 
over, flinging the lid into a tree and sending the smell of 
venison and corn through the air.  Along with a few 
kernels.

	"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Sagano yelled, 
charging at the pot.  "Bad pot!  Be good!"

	Tani-sensei lept up and ran over to help, leaving Yuri 
and Tae disappointed.  "I should help," Yuri said.

	"They've got it," Tae-sensei said.  "Lie down and I'll 
massage you some more."

	Yuri laid down and drowsed as Tani-sensei, Yuuki, 
and Sagano spazzed around the cookpot, trying to figure 
out how to 'turn the heat down' when you're using a bonfire 
and Lord Fuyuki began sketching them.  I have to look on 
the bright side, Yuri thought.  We're making some good 
memories for the future.  

	"FROST BLADE!" Sagano yelled, striking the pot 
with a blade of ice and cold.  It shattered, dousing her, 
Yuuki, and Tani-sensei with hot stew.  
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

	Tae-sensei rose.  "Time to get to work."

	So, not EVERY memory would be good...

***********

	"I am the ghost...OF YOUR CAT!" Satsuki shouted.

	No one got scared, although Yakumo did start and fall 
off her seat.

	Satsuki frowned.  "You're supposed to get scared."

	"I could tell the rabbit head story," Itoko mused.

	Yakumo, as she got into her chair, said, "Please, no."

	"Rabbit head?" Suga asked curiously.

	"I was out hiking..." Itoko began.

	"No!  No rabbit head story!" Sara said urgently.

	"But now I'm curious," Suga said.

	Itoko whispered into his ear.  He steadily turned green, 
then fell over.

	Asou, having caught the word 'maggot', decided he 
didn't want to know.  "I know one."

	"Oooh, tell us," Satsuki said.

	"A young man is at home on a rainy night," Asou said.  
"His parents have gone to Hokkaido and won't be back for 
a week, but he has school, so he must stay.  Yet, he doesn't 
know anyone in the building and it's too nasty to visit a 
friend."  His voice was dropping steadily to a whisper.

	"So he sits and watches the rain fall as he tries to do 
homework.  He listens to the radio, which is talking about 
the trenchcoat killer's latest victim, a young student who 
stayed too long in the library, studying, and died on the 
way home.  And then he sees it..."

	"A ghost?" Satsuki asked.

	Sara leaned closer.

	"There is a flash of lightning and he sees a man in a 
trenchcoat.  The darkness blinds him again and when vision 
returns, the man is gone and the power has gone out," Asou 
said.

	Satsuki shivered.  Itoko smiled a little.  Sara gripped 
Asou tightly.

	Suga grinned; he knew this one.

	"And then he hears it, footsteps in the hallway.  
Someone is coming up the stairs.  Step.  Step.  Step.  And 
then silence," Asou said.

	"Nervously, the young man rises.  He goes and gets a 
knife from the kitchen, just in case.  And then the footsteps 
start, run a little, then stop.  Over and over."

	Asou took a deep breath.  "Closer, ever closer, as the 
rain pours down and the man...draws...close."

	"Finally, there is a knock at the door.  The young man 
is ready, he opens the door, and he finds..."

	He let the silence percolate in their brains.  Satsuki 
was clinging to Suga, though she looked as amused as 
scared.  Sara hid her face in Asou's chest.  Yakumo's eyes 
were wide.  Itoko had her hand over her mouth.

	"It's his teacher, with the test he forgot to hand back in 
class.  And he got...."

	Silence.

	"AN F!  HE FAILED!" Asou shouted.

	Satsuki instinctively started, then said, "What, THAT 
IS IT?"  She looked aggravated.

	"EEEE!!!!   A failing grade!" Sara shouted.

	Itoko began laughing.

	"That was awful," Sara said, cuddling up to Asou as 
her nerves relaxed.

	Satsuki frowned.  Going to have to top that.  Hmm...

************

	"How do you know where they're going to go?" Lala 
asked Mr. Hanai as they began trekking into the 
countryside.  He seemed very confident.

	"I overheard her evil plans," he said.  

	She looked at the distant storm.  "Is this going to be 
safe?"

	"It'll blow over by the time we catch up," he said.  
"And if not, we're tough."

	Lala nodded.  She couldn't stand to look weak in front 
of an old man.  "Then let's keep going."

**********

	Mikoto said, "Hmmm," as they walked along through 
the woods.

	"Is that a 'time to camp for the night before Miki dies' 
hmm?" Miki asked hopefully.  She was getting tired from 
her pack.

	"We need to press on further so the hard climb 
tomorrow will be less long," Hanai said.  And so they can't 
catch up to us tonight.

	Miki groaned.

	They finally stopped when Miki simply fell down out 
of exhaustion.  Masahiro and Hanai set up the tents, while 
Miki laid around and Mikoto set up some cooking gear and 
got water.  Once Miki recovered, she said, "Any way to set 
up the tents together so we can sleep under one roof?"

	Masahiro's eyes widened a little.

	"In case bears or something show up," Miki said 
quickly.

	"We'll see if we can figure out something," Hanai said; 
he and Masahiro began fiddling with the tents.  

	Miki and Mikoto began cooking some dinner; Miki 
steadily recovered her strength.  Mikoto wondered if she'd 
been faking earlier.  "You guys gonna show us any of your 
fancy moves tonight?" Miki asked.

	Mikoto smiled.  "Yes, we can do that."  She started 
thinking about cool martial arts moves she could show off. 

	"Cool," Miki said, sounding a little nervous.

	Masahiro and Hanai finished connecting the tents.  
"Let's hope for no rain," Masahiro said.

	"I think it's going to blow off away from us," Hanai 
said.  Or so he hoped, anyway.  

	His phone rang.  He answered it nervously.  "Hello?"

	Akira began laughing at him, so he hung up.  What 
was THAT?

	The universe gave him no answer.

************

	"And then the blood ran out of his boot," Suga said.  
"And he realized...he was already dead."

	Satsuki screamed, while Sara squealed.  Yakumo 
looked on a little jealously, watching them snuggled up to 
their boyfriends.  Which was really the point of this sort of 
exercise.  

	She wished Harima was here.  She missed him 
terribly.  He was probably in some kind of trouble, all alone 
and friendless.  She hoped he would find someone to stand 
by his side.  Everyone needs friends.

************

	Harima stared dubiously at the glowing field.  "Is this 
an electric fence?"

	"It returns to our world," the gorillas told him.  "We 
must pursue him there."

	Maybe I'm just dreaming this, Harima thought.  Some 
giant hallucination.  On the other hand, there clearly was 
someone who looked like his evil twin...And the guy had a 
goatee.  It suddenly hit him that evil twins from other 
universes always had a goatee.  

	No wonder I had such hard luck with Tenma, he 
thought.  She mistook me for an evil twin when I had the 
beard!

	But it didn't matter now, did it?  He had to move on, to 
forget about her, find someone else.  But who?  Could there 
be anyone else?  

	He shook his head, not wanting to go around thinking 
about Eri and Yakumo right now.  Not when he could be 
punching someone.  Maybe I should just go to this 
universe, get rid of my evil twin and stay there, he thought.  
It might be easier to start over.

	But he didn't like the idea of never seeing his friends 
again.  And Eri would find him and kill him, no doubt.  
Knowing what she was like.

	He kind of missed her.  And Yakumo too.  

	Harima shook his head.  NO MONKEY THOUGHTS, 
he told himself.  If I do move on, I can't chase two women 
at once.  Not like my evil twin does.

	"Alright, let's try this," he said, and charged through 
with the gorillas.

	The other side looked fairly similar; lots of forest and 
hills.  Except many of the trees were odd colors and there 
were a lot of fresh tracks.  "Here we go," he said.  "Let's get 
the monkey!"

	"CRUSH LORD HARIMA!" the gorillas chanted, and 
they began to hustle through the woods.

************		
	
	Lord Harima yawned.  "We should get some sleep," 
he said, "And try and catch up tomorrow."

	"Do you have a tent?" she asked, knowing he couldn't 
have one.

	"Naah," he said.  "Can't you just magic one up?"

	"It's not as easy as saying Zim Zim Zalabim, Give Me 
a Tent, you know," she said.

	There was a flash of light and a two man tent 
appeared.

	He looked at the tent, then at her.

	"Shut up," she grumbled, but as she dismounted, she 
looked curious.  "Zim Zim Zalabim, Give Me a Steak 
Dinner For Two," she said and pointed.  

	A table appeared with the food.  Lord Harima drooled.  
"Perfect," he said.

	They sat down and ate; it was very tasty.  "So how did 
we all get scattered?" she asked.  I'd better get up to speed 
on the dream's plot, she thought.  And see what else I can 
conjure.  

	"Ninja horde.  Your family's old ninjas who deserted 
them," he said.  

	History repeats itself, she thought, as she sipped her 
wine.  

	"We all got scattered across the area, so I went to track 
you down," he said.

	She felt a little flattered at that.  "Well, you found me," 
she said, studying him, wondering how he felt about 
everyone. Was he as big an idiot as the real Harima?

	"Tenma-sama will be pleased," he said.  "Maybe I'll 
finally get a kiss."

	He's as big an idiot as the real thing, she realized.  
Dammit, can't I at least dream about a Harima who wants 
ME?  She felt embarrassed at the thought.  But she had to 
face it.  She wanted him for herself.  

	She wasn't going to sit back and let Yakumo have him.  
Not in a dream, not in reality.  And he would give up on 
Tenma if it killed her.

	Eri played to win or not at all.

************

	Mikoto aimed for Hanai's legs, but he jumped over the 
sweeping kick and kicked Mikoto in the chest, knocking 
her over.  Then he dove at her, going for a grapple, but she 
rolled to one side, then helped him slam into the ground.  

	Miki cheered and Masahiro applauded; they sat on a 
large tree root nearby, watching.

	As she went for the grapple, he rose and flipped her 
away, then charged at her, aiming a mighty punch at her 
right breast.  She managed to block the blow, turning and 
hitting him with a roundhouse kick.  As he fell back, he 
seized her foot and rolled, flipping her over him.

	She rebounded off a tree and nailed him in the back as 
he got up.  They rolled around on the ground for a while, 
grappling for advantage.  She finally managed to pin his 
arms, and kneeled over him, smiling.  She leaned down and 
kissed him softly.  

	Miki applauded.  "That's so romantic!"

	A fistfight is romantic?  Masahiro laughed a little.  
"Don't expect me to fight you," he said to Miki.

	She pounced on him and began to grapple him.  
"Fight!  Fight!"

	Mikoto and Hanai both laughed as they watched the 
two grapple clumsily.  Masahiro finally emerged as the 
victor.  "I win.  Do I get a prize?"

	She kissed him without speaking, and Mikoto turned 
to Hanai and began to kiss him.  Soon, both couples were 
quite busy making out.


*************

	Satsuki was half-asleep, leaning against Suga, even as 
Itoko said, "And then, rising from the depth of the filing 
cabinet came...the mid-semester paperwork!  It would not 
be sated until every line was filled out, even though NO 
ONE would EVER read it!"

	Sara shrieked enthusiastically, while Asou wondered 
how that was supposed to scare anyone.  Suga, half-asleep, 
slumped against the wall of the helicopter.  "Oh no," he 
mumbled.

	Yakumo was staring out the window again, and she 
saw something...flashes of gold and deep moving shadows 
and... It looked like Eri being chased by something.  For a 
moment, she was tempted to let the things have her, but her 
conscience prevailed.  "Hey, is that Sawachika-sempai?"

	Itoko blinked and turned and peered.  "It looks like her 
in a very skanky gold dress.  Being chased by ninjas."

	Sara sprang to her feet, drawing the tranq guns she'd 
gotten from the helicopter's armory box.  The holy pistols 
weren't supposed to be used on people, but these...were just 
fine.

	Asou picked up the staff he'd taken from the box, 
sighing.  "Ninjas.  So ridiculous."

	"Ninjas?" Satsuki said.  "Kickass."  She began rooting 
around for weapons while Itoko took her pistols and Suga 
grabbed a rifle.  

	A hail of gunfire caused Ninjas to start rapidly turning 
to dust.  This took enough pressure off skankily-dressed Eri 
for her to turn and chant, "Creo Ignem!"  Fire rushed from 
her hands, consuming a half-dozen ninjas, who screamed 
and burned away into dust, just like the shot ones.  The dust 
then quickly blew away.

	Yakumo vaulted into the middle of the ninjas and 
began laying about with her staff; every blow made a ninja 
evaporate.  They seemed remarkably flimsy.  As they 
turned to dust, a number would form in the dust, just 
briefly, usually '80'.  

	"Is this the 80 gang or something?" she asked Eri.

	Eri stared at her.  "You're oddly dressed today, Witch 
Yakumo."  She pointed at two onrushing ninjas.  "Creo 
Aqua!"  A bolt of water blew them off their feet, after 
which Sara shot them both simultaneously.  They fell over, 
unconscious.

	Satsuki ran laughing through the ninja ranks, knee-
capping them with a baseball bat, after which Suga would 
stab them as they fell, dusting them.  "Die, ninjas, die!"

	Itoko felt confused but didn't show it, cooly blowing 
away ninjas into dust with her guns, while Asou blazed 
away as well.  All the ninjas kept dusting except the ones 
Sara shot.

	"I'm oddly dressed?" Yakumo said.  She looked at 
herself; her t-shirt and jeans seemed quite normal to her.  
"Some might think you dressed oddly."  Also, when had 
Sawachika-sempai started casting spells?	

	"Muto Terram."  Eri gestured and the ground turned to 
quicksand under four more ninjas, who sank into it.  

	Yakumo saw three more ninjas rushing at her like 
lemmings.  Curiously, she gestured as Eri had and said, 
"Creo Ignem."  Fire rushed from her hands, not so potently 
as Eri's, charring one of them.  She felt a little drained.  She 
beat a second in the stomach, knocking him into the third, 
then rapped both their skulls and they dusted.  

	"Hey, stop stealing my schtick!  Use your own 
abilities," Eri said irritably.

	"Stop hitting on MY boyfriend," Yakumo said, 
rapping the ground with her staff for emphasis.

	"YOUR boyfriend?  He's MY man," Eri said, turning 
to face her.  

	Yakumo tapped Eri's chest with her staff.  "Just back 
off from and stop confusing him with your kisses."

	Five ninjas charged at them.  Asou downed two; Sara 
took two, Itoko shot one.

	"We don't have time for a fight among ourselves!" 
Itoko shouted.

	Eri's hands crackled with electricity.  "He likes MY 
kisses.  When has he ever kissed you?"

	"All the time," Yakumo said defiantly.  To her 
surprise, she could see glimpses of thought around Eri, 
which confused her tremendously; much of it seemed to be 
flashes of magical spells, and the rest...well, how was she 
seeing it?  Unless Eri secretly loved her...no way.

	More ninjas rushed them in a line, only to have 
Satsuki run down the line, kneecapping them, followed by 
Suga dusting them.  "Come on, there's a billion ninjas, we 
have to get out of here!"

	"And I don't have to dress like a cheap floozy to get 
them either," Yakumo said, surprising herself with her 
anger.

	"Stop arguing and get to the chopper or I'll have Sara 
tranq you!" Itoko shouted.

	They both ran for the chopper, resolving to resolve 
this later.

**************
	
	Lala huddled grumpily in a tent as rain poured down.  
"We should press on."

	"If you want pneumonia, maybe," Mr. Hanai said, 
lying on his back, staring up at the roof of the tent.  "So 
what do you see in him, anyway?"

	"What?" she asked, in confusion.

	"My son.  I'm curious as to how he aroused so much 
passion in you.  You two been doing it?"

	Lala blushed.  "No.  All we've done is kiss."  And 
grope a little.

	"Is he good?"

	"He's the only man I've ever kissed," she said a little 
wistfully, slowly untangling herself to lie down on her side, 
facing Mr. Hanai.  "He is brave, honest, hard-working, 
intelligent, and honorable.  Not a man who will waste his 
life in alcohol and despair."  She grimaced at the latter 
sentence.

	Mr. Hanai frowned at that, then said, "He's always 
struck me as a lazy goof-off.  Mikoto-chan and I had to 
push him all his life to get him to do anything himself."

	"Then you may see him as he was as a child, but not 
as he is now," Lala said angrily.  "He is a better man than 
that."

	"You sound like you think he's perfect," Mr. Hanai 
said thoughtfully.

	"He is too kind for his own good," Lala said.  "He 
doesn't know how to say no to people.  So they exploit him.  
But I can protect him from that."

	"You really like him," Mr. Hanai said softly.

	"Of course I do!  I wouldn't be out here just for a 
chance to punch Suou in the face."  Beat.  "Mind you, it 
doesn't hurt to have that as an added incentive."

	Mr. Hanai laughed softly and wondered if he had 
handled this wisely.  He soon dismissed the thought, not 
being the sort to second-guess himself.  He'd just have to 
ride this storm to the end of the line.

**************
	
	Sorceress Eri looked around in confusion.  She'd 
feared she'd passed through one of the world-curtains and 
this definitely confirmed it.  This wasn't the real Witch 
Yakumo, but apparently she and her Eri were fighting over 
some man in this world as well.  She wondered, idly, which 
one had the upper hand.

	The giant flying insect they were inside was rather 
impressive.  It must be some sort of golem; too solid and 
dry to be organic.  However, it couldn't fly well in this 
weather, so she was doing a lot of shaking.  Her magic 
ensured she didn't flop out of her clothing, thankfully.  It 
was the essential problem of being a sorceress--the less 
clothing you wore, the more potent your spells, but if you 
wore too little, it became socially embarrassing and hard to 
keep on.

	"We're going to have to find somewhere to land," 
Itoko said.  "So we don't crash."  Sorceress Eri was grateful 
she was as sensible in this world as in Sorceress Eri's own.  

	She began making for the ground, as lightning flashed 
around them.  And then lightning hit the chopper, and the 
ground rose up and strange shimmering lights took them, 
and then the darkness.

***************

	Eri couldn't decide whether to conjure another tent 
(more proper) or sleep in the same one with Lord Harima 
(more likely to give him crazy ideas, but also safer if ninjas 
showed up).  After some thought, she finally decided to go 
with the single tent.  She could always turn him into a frog 
if she had to.

	And he was kind of cute.  

	But she wasn't going to think about that or the real 
Harima.  Though if it was a dream, it really didn't matter 
what she did, did it?  But then, this one was probably 
stupidly obsessed with Tenma.

	She decided to be blunt.  "Are you still obsessed with 
Tenma?"

	He made a warding gesture in panic.  "I..what?  No, of 
course not.  I just think Karasuma is EVIL!"

	Even in my dreams, he's obssessed with Tenma.  "So 
what do you see in her, anyway?"

	"I...I'm not interested in her," he said frantically.  
"What gives you that idea?"  He was vibrating.

	"My magic read your mind."

	He wilted.  "Doesn't she just make you want to protect 
her and keep her safe?" he asked weakly.

	She could see that.  If you took care of her and held 
her back when she was foolish, she showered you with 
affection.  Eri had to admit she liked being Tenma's friend; 
for all her foolishness, she loved her friends deeply.  "Yes, 
but it doesn't seem enough.  I mean, she's so childish.  
Don't you want someone more sophisticated?"  

	"I'm not very sophisticated," he said.  "A good heart's 
better than sophistication."

	She frowned at that.  "And she looks like a kid."

	"We're all still growing," he said.  "But I don't love her 
for her looks."

	That could possibly be taken as encouraging if you 
bent it around a little.  "But she loves Karasuma."

	"He is EVIL!" Lord Harima pronounced.

	"He's just a weirdo," Eri said, leaning towards Lord 
Harima a little.  "You have to accept that she loves him, or 
you'll go crazy."

	He grimaced.  "I can't just accept that."

	Eri sighed, and rose, stretching.  "Time to sleep," she 
said, sighing.  "What will you do if it's clear she loves him 
and won't ever love you?"

	"I'll probably go south and punch gorillas until I die," 
he said.

	That's Harima, alright, she thought.  "Goodnight, I'm 
going to bed."

	"Goodnight.  Gonna watch the stars for a while."

	He was still up when she fell asleep.

************
		
	The making out hadn't actually gotten very far when 
Mother Nature cut in with a downpour.  Soon, all four were 
soaked and had to retreat inside the tent.  It was cold, and 
they were all wet.

	"We're going to have to strip, try to dry ourselves, and 
put on dry clothing," Hanai said.

	Masahiro's eyes widened.  "Strip?"

	"Don't be silly," Miki said.  "We have been naked in 
front of them.  And vice versa."

	"I wasn't looking at THEM," Masahiro said.

	"It's going to be crowded and difficult," Hanai said, 
"But we'll have to do it, or we'll likely get sick."

	What followed was rather like a half-naked game of 
Twister, with people bending and twisting about, trying to 
get clothing off and to dry off and change into dryer 
clothing, with legs and arms tangling all around each other 
as everyone became steadily more embarrassed.

	By the end of it, everyone was in an extreme state of 
self-consciousness.  They all wanted to make out, but no 
one could quite muster the will to be the person to start it.  
But they couldn't sleep in this worked up state, either.

	Instead, they laid there and pretended to sleep, until, 
finally, Miki said, "Masahiro-kun..."

	"Yes, dear?"

	"Make out with me NOW before I go crazy."

	"We're three inches away from people!" he protested.

	"They've seen us naked," Miki said.  "At this point, we 
really shouldn't be embarrassed around them, even if 
they're sexier than we are."

	"No, no, you're both very sexy," Mikoto said, trying to 
be reassuring.  

	"What if they find us while we're doing that?" Hanai 
said.  

	"It's our best chance before we're chaperoned," Miki 
said.  "You're up for it, aren't you, Mikoto-san?"

	"Of course," she said.  It was their best chance and she 
wasn't going to show fear in front of Masahiro.  "Come on, 
loverboy," she said to Hanai.

	Hanai's brain clicked through his options, and decided 
that since he was a walking dead man, he need not fear 
consequences.  If all options lead to DEATH, why fear the 
Reaper?  He reached for the bottom of her shirt.  "Your 
wish is my command, lady," he said, rolling them around to 
lurk on top of her.  In the process, he smacked Miki down 
onto Masahiro with Mikoto's butt.

	It was not the world's most comfortable session.  
People kept getting elbowed, kicked, smacked with 
someone else's butt, and poked.  Miki, the least nimble of 
the four, got hit the most.  They soldiered on, however, 
gradually shedding layers of clothing, glasses, shoes, socks, 
jewelry, etc.

	Naturally, it was just as everyone was mostly naked 
and very happy that Hanai's phone rang.  "Don't answer it," 
Mikoto said.

	He turned his phone off.  Mikoto's phone rang.  She 
turned hers off.  

	Miki's phone rang.  She hesitated.  "Maybe it's 
important," she said.

	"Answer it," Masahiro said, worried.

	She answered it.  "Hello?"

	"Hi, this is Mikoto's mother," Mikoto's mother said.  
"Is she asleep already?"

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki lied.  "We're all okay."