This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 15:  Kill Harima

By John Biles

***********************

	The street where Hanai and Mikoto's houses stood was 
very quiet on a Sunday morning.  They walked down it, 
hand in hand, with Hanai growing more nervous as he 
walked.  He could hear the wrath of Mikoto's father in the 
dead silence.

	They reached Mikoto's house and she smiled shyly at 
him.  "See, I told you, nothing would happen."

	Then the bush next to them suddenly folded over as a 
trapdoor opened.  Mikoto's father popped up, grabbed 
Hanai and vanished out of sight, pulling the trapdoor shut 
behind them.

	"Father!"

	The sounds of intense beating echoed through the 
door.  "DEFILER OF MY DAUGHTER!"

	"Father!"  Mikoto began to pound on the trapdoor.  
"Don't hurt my boyfriend!"

	The trapdoor opened and Hanai was flung out, 
knocked out.

	"Father!"

	"It's just to protect you!"  Her father clambered out.  
"Pretty slick, eh?  This should let me eliminate any man 
who comes after you," he said.

	"..."  She held the battered Hanai in her arms.  "I won't 
put up with you attacking my boyfriend," Mikoto said 
angrily.

	"He runs around on you!"

	"Not any more," she said.  "He's MINE now," she 
said, startling herself with how possessive she was.

	"Well, if he runs around on you again, I'll finish the 
job.  Also, you're grounded for a week for not coming 
home."

	"But Father..." she began.

	"Don't But Father me," he said.  "You didn't come 
home, you get grounded.  You could have been lying in a 
gutter with severed limbs; how were we to know?"

	She sighed.  "Yes, Father.  Let me take Haruki-kun 
home."

	"Fine.  Then come home."

	"Yes, Father," she said, sighing.

***********

	Akira luxuriated in laziness.  Her mother had gone off 
for the morning, there was no one to make her work, her 
boyfriend was cuddled up to her, and life was good despite 
the lingering aches and pains.  If all had gone well, Hanai 
would finally treat Mikoto right so she didn't have to keep 
kicking his butt.  She still had no solution to the Eri - 
Harima - Yakumo triangle, but he owed her, so she could 
lead him if she had to.  Somehow.

	It was all going to work out.  She could forget and 
move on with Nara and they'd all find someone.  Except 
that Yakumo and Eri both wanted Harima and they couldn't 
both have him.  She'd forced herself to solve her own 
version of that by moving on.  And now she had something 
better, anyway.

	Nara was half-asleep as she idly played with his hair, 
smiling to herself.  She felt so peaceful.

	The phone rang.  She decided not to answer it.  It 
could only be trouble.  No trouble now. Just for a few 
minutes she wanted a little peace.  

*************	

	Hanai woke up with his father standing over him.  
"So, son, have you gotten in more trouble?"

	"Yes," he mumbled.

	"How long should I ground you for?"

	"At least a week," Hanai mumbled.

	"Well, you've been pre-beaten, so I'll ground you a 
week and call it even.  So, are you going to be faithful or do 
you have a deathwish?"

	"Faithful," he mumbled.

	"Good," his father said.  "It'll go much more smoothly 
that way.  She's a good girl.  If you get her pregnant, I'll kill 
you."

	Hanai sat up on his bed; his father was perched in a 
chair near it.  "Yes, sir."

	"Anyway, go downstairs and empty the dishwasher, 
then help your mother clean the baths," Hanai's father said, 
leaning back in the chair.

	Hanai got out of bed.  

	"Good luck," he said.  "Most teen romances fail, but 
you two know each other better.  She's good for you."

	"Thank you," Hanai said, heading for the door.

	"But pregnancy equals death for Haruki," his father 
said.  "Remember."

	"Yes, sir."  Hanai hoped he was exaggerating as usual.

*************

	"Mikoto-chan!" Tenma said frantically.  "Kenji's 
vanished!  I think he's been kidnapped!"

	"Kidnapped?" Mikoto asked in confusion.

	"There was this note, but it made no sense, he'd never 
run away like this!" Tenma said.  "Can you come help us 
search?"

	"I'm grounded," Mikoto said.

	There was a brief and terrible silence.

	"You didn't kiss Kenji, did you?" Tenma asked.

	"..."

	"I mean, maybe he ran away...I'm not making sense," 
Tenma babbled.

	"I stayed out all night with Haruki and Miki and 
Masahiro and now he's my boyfriend," Mikoto said.  "For 
real.  But we're both grounded."

	"Masahiro-san is your boyfriend now?  How could 
you do that to Hanai-san?" Tenma asked in shock.

	"No, no, I meant Haruki-kun!" Mikoto said.

	"Oh, okay," Tenma said.  "It wouldn't have been nice 
to stab Miki-san in the back."

	"Nope.  But I just wish I wasn't grounded."  Mikoto 
sighed.  

	"Man, I hope no one grounds Akira...but she's not 
answering her phone...maybe she's grounded too!" Tenma 
said.

	"So Harima-kun ran away?"

	"Yes," Tenma said.  "Did you see him?  Yakumo told 
me he went to help Akira, then acted all weird on his return 
and now....he and Akira aren't answering their 
phones...THEY ELOPED!  Oh man, she must have dumped 
Nara and they eloped together!"

	Tenma imagined Akira riding on Harima's motorcycle 
with him, Nara and Yakumo crying behind them as the 
lovers rode into the sunset.  She felt her heart beat 
frantically.  My dear little sister...crying...how could he?  

	"I don't think so.  Wouldn't she just take him if she 
wanted him?" Mikoto asked.

	"But...the note..."

	"Talked about Akira?"

	"No," Tenma said reluctantly.

	"Eloping?"

	"No," Tenma said.  "He just said he was a bad 
boyfriend for Yakumo and he needed to go sort things out."

	"You know how guys are.  When they realize it's time 
to settle down, they run away in fear.  He's big and macho.  
He'll come back once the panic fades," Mikoto said.

	"You sure?" Tenma said.  "Yakumo is so sad..."  She 
sounded sad herself.

	"You miss him," Mikoto said softly and 
sympathetically.

	Tenma nodded vigorously.  "Yes.  He's like family to 
me now."

	"Well, I can't do anything for you, but...no wait, Eri is 
grounded too.  And you called Akira?"

	"She's not answering," Tenma said nervously.

	"I don't know.  Maybe Sagano can help you?  Or 
Karen?"

	"I'll call Karen-chan.  Maybe she can help me," Tenma 
said hopefully.

	"Good luck," Mikoto said.  "I wish I could help."

	"It's okay.  See you later!"

*************

	Karen looked at the note.  "Well, it seems pretty clear 
to me that he can't face someone and the shame of it has 
driven him off," she said.  Maybe he and Eri were having 
an affair and once Eri made it public, he got sick from the 
shame and now he's run away, she thought.  "Maybe it's 
connected to Eri kissing him."

	"He didn't even tell me for a week," Yakumo 
mumbled.

	Karen winced.

	"Well, I forgot to tell you myself," Tenma said, 
laughing nervously.  "I'd mostly forgotten until just now."

	"..."  Karen stared at her.

	"I'm sorry, Yakumo."

	Now Yakumo was starting to feel a little angry.  Her 
own sister hadn't thought to tell her.  What else was being 
hidden from her?  Why had he left?

	Weakly, Tenma said, "Are you mad at me?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said flatly.

	Tenma began to wail as if all the forces of hell were 
after her.  Karen covered her ears. Yakumo now felt guilty.  
"I'm sorry, sister," she mumbled.

	Tenma recovered once she ran into a wall as she ran 
about in remorse.  Once she peeled herself off the floor, she 
said, "Well, we'll just have to find him."

	"But how?" Yakumo asked.

	"I don't know, but I'll figure something out.  We'll 
bring him back to you, Yakumo," Tenma said.  "I should 
call Eri, see if she knows anything."

	Eri took the call.  "Hello, Tenma-chan."

	"Eri-chan, Kenji..."

	"Ran away," Eri said hotly.  "If I wasn't grounded, I'd 
find him and kick his ass."

	"How did you know?" Tenma asked in surprise.

	"He left me a note," she said.

	"But...where?"

	"My house," Eri said.

	"Hmm, we have somewhere to start searching.  Can 
we come over and begin tracking him from your house?" 
Tenma asked.

	"I should probably ask Father's permission...stuff it.  
Come over, take a look.  I can't leave the house, but at least 
someone will be on his trail," Eri said, sounding cranky.  

	"We'll be over soon, then," Tenma said.

	"See you."

***************
	
	Harima felt a little confused.  The mountain forests 
weren't nearly this wet normally, were they?  It seemed like 
everything was flatter and much wetter than he was used to.  
Also, he'd dressed for cold winter weather, but it was kind 
of hot.

	He heard movement in the distance.  Not again, he 
thought.  He sighed and sat down on a rock and pretended 
to start making camp.

	When his stalker got close, Harima spun and kicked 
up and back.  The gorilla took the foot to the face and 
tumbled off down the slope, giving incoherent gorilla 
howls.  Harima understood them as 'Damn you, Lord 
Harima'.  

	What Harima wanted to know was where all these 
damn gorillas had come from.  The zoos REALLY needed 
better security.  

	He sat down under a tree to sketch, doing a drawing of 
a deer drinking from the stream at the base of the slope.  It 
turned and wandered up to him.  'You didn't get my best 
side', it told him.  'Let me pose again.'

	The deer demanded about eight different takes before 
it was finally satisfied.  Once it finished, it asked, 'What 
brings you here?'

	"Love trouble," he said, sighing.  "The woman I love 
loves another; Yakumo wants to be my girlfriend, but I 
don't know what to think about her, and Eri is just...I don't 
know.  She's so hard to deal with, but kind of cute."

	'Can't you just have them all in turn as they go into 
heat?' the deer asked.

	Harima now remembered why he didn't ask animals 
for love advice much.  "Humans don't do it like that."

	'Maybe the gorillas could help.  They're more like 
you.'

	"They hate me."

	'Can't help you there.'

	"Thanks for posing."

	'You flatter me,' the deer said.  'I'm going to go brag to 
my friends now.'

	"Have fun," Harima said as the deer ran off.

	Harima felt a little better.  I should find out why the 
gorillas are after me, he thought.  That'll take my mind off 
love.  Or at least give me some good fights.  Which was 
about as good.

***********
	
	Lala sprang out of bed.  There had been someone in 
the hallway.  Right?  Maybe she dreamed it...

	She frowned and went to the door.  The hallway was 
empty; she couldn't hear anyone, either.  

	So went down the hallway to see her host mother, who 
was still asleep, as she was prone to do on weekends.  
Gently, Lala woke her.  "We may have a burglar," she 
whispered.

	The old lady got her cane and scrambled out of bed.  
"I'm ready," she whispered.

	"I will take point," Lala said.  "You are too old to 
fight."

	"Try me," the old lady whispered.

	They crept out into the hallway and down to the living 
room.  There was a huge pile of dirt and sand here; lines of 
ants were marching from the pile to the refrigerator.  "An 
invasion by ants?" Lala asked in confusion.

	"Someone dumped them here," her host observed, 
frowning.  "I don't remember angering anyone lately."  She 
began poking the front door and prodding the pile.

	This made ants swarm after her and she had to drop 
her cane.  "I'm calling the exterminator," she said.  "If I can 
get one on Sunday."
	
	This was no doubt Akira's petty revenge, Lala thought.  
Or perhaps that of her boyfriend, Nara.  An attack by ants 
would match his pathetic style--a weakling's stab in the 
back.

	They would pay for this, she was sure.

	She was doubly sure of it when she found moths 
eating her dresses a little later.

	Especially since Nara and Akira weren't answering the 
phone; no doubt they were off sneaking home.  Cowards.  
She would show them at school.  When she wasn't busy 
with her boyfriend, anyway.

**************	

	It didn't take much detective work for Eri, Butler-san, 
Tenma, and Yakumo to find the footprints in the 
flowerbeds under her window.  Unfortunately, they led 
back to the driveway; a few streaks showed he had driven 
there and left the same way.

	Eri felt herself growing more annoyed with Yakumo's 
weeping by the second.  "I take it he dumped you?" she 
asked, almost hopefully.

	"I just don't understand," Yakumo mumbled.

	"We'll figure it out," Tenma said.

	"What did you to do to him?" Yakumo said to Eri.

	"I didn't do anything to him!" Eri shouted.

	"Ojou-sama, I must inform you that you did kiss him 
and tell him you love him," Butler-san said.

	"I was DRUNK!  What kind of an idiot could love 
someone who is in love with one girl but dates another?" 
Eri shouted angrily.  "And she's too BLIND to see it."

	"I...what?" Tenma asked.  Her brain whirred.  "He isn't 
really in love with Mikoto-chan after all, is he?"

	Eri began bashing her head against a wall until Butler-
san restrained her.

	"It's not Akira-sempai, is it?" Yakumo asked.  "As 
she's with Nara-san now and..."

	"Why is everyone in this country so stupid?" Eri 
demanded of the ground.  "WHY?"

	Tenma winced.  "Eri-chan, I try my hardest."

	"Don't call my sister stupid!" Yakumo snapped.  She 
was not going to put up with abuse of her sister by the 
woman who clearly drove her boyfriend into hiding by 
confusing him with kisses.  

	Tenma and Butler-san started.

	"You ignorant little girl!  He only dated you because I 
was stupid enough to say you were his girlfriend and your 
sister believed me and he didn't know how to stop!  He 
never loved you!" Eri shouted.

	"Why would he let you two tell him who to date?" 
Yakumo asked.  "I think you're just a sore loser because he 
doesn't love you."  Her voice was turning sharp.

	Tenma sighed.  "Yakumo-chan, let's not fight, okay?  
Harima could be lost, alone, and hurt, and we're just 
fighting over whose fault it is."

	"So blind," Eri said, trembling with rage.  "You two 
just don't get it.  Butler-san, please escort them out; I 
shouldn't have guests, anyway."  She turned and stalked 
off.

	Tenma stared sadly at the ground.  "Butler-san, why is 
Eri-chan so mad at me?"

	"She's bitter because Kenji-kun doesn't love her.  
Selfish girl," Yakumo said bitterly.

	Tenma stared at her, jaw open.  "Yakumo-chan, that 
isn't like you."

	"I'm not going to let her have MY Kenji," Yakumo 
said, jaw set.  Tenma had never seen her this angry and it 
scared Tenma.  

	Butler-san began to herd them out.  "She's grounded 
and it makes her very lonely.  And her heart is in pain.  
Please forgive her, Tsukamoto-san."

	"Of...of course..." Tenma said, walking almost 
drunkenly, feeling confused.

	"Hmph," Yakumo said, walking rigidly.

	"I...Yakumo-chan..." Tenma began.

	"I don't want to talk," Yakumo said.

	So Tenma walked, basting in her silence.

*************

	"Neither of them is answering," Fuyuki said, 
frowning. 

	"Well, we can practice some without them," Karen 
said.  "Or do we want to cancel and do homework?"

	They were over at Karen's place for band practice, 
camped in the living room.

	"I feel musical," Karasuma said.

	"I hope they're okay," Karen said as the other two got 
their instruments.  

	"I'm sure they are fine," Fuyuki said.  "Yuuki probably 
just visited Sagano and got whatever kept Sagano home 
from school last week."

	"That's true," Karen said.  "They're probably fine."

*************

	"AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuri screamed as she 
slashed wildly at an onrushing minotaur.  To her surprise, 
the sword gleamed blue and sliced through it; it evaporated 
away.  But then a goblin darted in and tried to slash her at 
waist level.  She half-blocked the blow, but it tore her skirt 
off.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	Sagano paused in the middle of jump-kicking an ogre 
in the face.  "Hello Kitty Panties????"

	"What?" Tani-sensei said, turning, then blushing.  In 
addition to an eyefull of underwear, he saw a pair of trolls 
rushing at Tae from behind as she decapitated three gnolls 
with one stroke of a white gleaming blade.  He leaped 
forward with the naginata he'd scavenged off a previous 
attack and impaled one troll; it burst into green flame, vines 
erupting from its chest and ripping it apart, then cut the legs 
off the other one; it began crawling after its legs and he 
stabbed it in the head.  Vines consumed it.

	"I think traditionally, the guy is supposed to let the 
women fight, then only come in to the rescue at one 
dramatic moment," Sagano pointed out.

	"Screw tradition!  I just want to go home!" Yuuki said 
as she slingshotted a stone into the face of a gnoll.  The 
stone exploded and the gnoll went up in flames, then faded 
away into mist.  "And why do all these monsters 
evaporate?"

	"Adding corpses to the scenery costs too much to draw 
them in," Sagano said.

	"I don't think an animation budget is dictating our 
lives," Tae-sensei said.  "But it does seem like nature is 
trying to strip us naked."  She took out another gnoll, but 
it's blade tore her dress top first.  

	"Well, if you all changed into your fighting 
uniforms..." Lord Fuyuki said.

	"I don't have one!" Yuuki said.  "This was not my 
plan!"

	"Well, there's usually a transformation phrase..."

	"I don't want to dress like a harem girl!" Yuuki 
protested, ducking under a swing from a goblin, then 
sending an exploding bullet into his face with her sling 
shot.

	The remaining monsters fled.  

	"Well, only 360 or so miles to go," Lord Fuyuki said 
cheerfully.

	I'm going to go crazy, Yuuki thought.  This was my 
worst plan of all time.  Even Sagano has better plans.  I 
suck.

************

	Akira was pretty sure this was her laziest day ever.  
No work, she and Nara had just laid in bed all day cuddled 
up to each other. It felt wonderful to just luxuriate.

	Then she heard her mother yell, "I NEED SLAVES 
TO PUT AWAY THE GROCERIES."

	This forced her into cleaning up action.

	Around when she and Nara finished, Tenma arrived.  
Akira could see at a glance that she was well down the road 
into incoherence.  

	She put a hand on Tenma's shoulder.  "What's 
wrong?"

	Tenma began to bawl into her chest.  She held Tenma 
in silence a while.  Nara watched uncomfortably.

	Finally, Tenma recovered enough to explain what had 
happened.

	Akira shook her head.  "I was afraid of this."

	"Why didn't you tell me?"

	"It wasn't my place to reveal Kenji's badly kept 
secrets," Akira said.  "So Eri didn't tell you?"

	"No.  Does everyone but me know?" Tenma asked in 
despair.

	Akira shook her head.  "No, only a few people know.  
I'm sure he'll come back, though.  He won't be able to stay 
away from his love.  He'll want to say goodbye, if nothing 
else."

	"He can't leave!  Yakumo needs him!" Tenma said 
frantically.  

	Akira sighed.  "I will talk to her about this.  But I'm 
sure he'll come back."

	"We have to find him!"

	"Men need their privacy sometimes," Akira said.  "He 
has to figure out his heart."

	"But doesn't he...why doesn't he...he dated Yakumo!  
For weeks!  And lived with us!" Tenma said.

	"The attention of multiple women makes men insane.  
Case in point--Hanai."

	"He has been acting a little weird.  I never thought of 
him as a pimp," Tenma said.

	"Men can't handle it; at least he's honest enough to 
admit he can't," Akira said.  "I think he'll come back, once 
he works things out in his head."

	Nara frowned a bit.  His dad could handle it.  But he 
didn't want to start a fight about that.

	"I just...I have to do something," Tenma said, 
wringing her hands.

	"Sometimes, you just have to give a man his space," 
Akira said.  "If he doesn't come back in a week, then we 
can worry.  At least he finally told Yakumo.  I've been 
pushing him on that."

	"Do you think Eri loves Kenji?" Tenma asked 
nervously.

	"Yes," Akira said.  

	Nara nodded.

	"But...I don't understand."

	"Eri's not easy to understand," Akira said, shaking her 
head.

	Nara said, "Just try and relax.  He'll be back soon 
enough."

	"I hope you're right," Tenma said, sighing.  She 
wished she could do something for Yakumo, but Yakumo 
wasn't too happy with her, either.

************

	"We don't have a sacred flame," Sara said to Yakumo.

	Yakumo pointed at the lit candles in the foyer.

	"Those are kind of small to look for a vision in," Sara 
said.  "But we can pray for guidance.  Just...God doesn't 
just come at my beck and call."

	"I have to try," Yakumo said.

	Sara nodded.  She took Yakumo by the hand and 
brought her up to the altar and they kneeled down before it 
and before the stained glass windows and the statuary, and 
Yakumo hoped for some kind of sign.

	The air was quiet; distantly, music played and birds 
sang. Yakumo kept praying, looking for some sort of 
answer.  She prayed and prayed and prayed.

	And then there was a voice.  "Sara-chan, Yakumo-
chan, my children, why are you sorrowed?"

	"My boyfriend ran away and I don't know why!  Is it 
because Eri kissed him?" Yakumo asked.

	"He is now torn between the two of you, unable to 
choose between your sweet kisses.  So he has fled to the 
wilderness.  Whichever one of you finds him first will be 
his true love," the voice said from above.  

	"So it's a test?" Sara asked.  Something didn't seem 
quite right here.  Did she know this voice from something?

	"The one who really loves him will find her way to 
him, wherever he may hide," the voice said.

	"But where do I start looking?" Yakumo asked.

	"Follow your heart," the voice said.

	"But how do I do that?"

	There was only silence.

	Sara said, "Well, that answers that."  Is this a prank?  
Or a real message?  She wasn't sure.

	Yakumo rose and closed her eyes, trying to get a sense 
of direction.  She began to walk, down the aisle and out the 
door.  She could feel something, some bond, drawing her 
on.

	Sara scampered after her.  "You sure you know what 
you're doing?"  She had a bad feeling.

	"God wills it," Yakumo said serenely, walking with 
eyes closed.  Even walking into a street sign didn't deter 
her.

	Imadori watched them go from the roof.  He hoped the 
advice would help.  But now he had to find somewhere else 
to take a nap.  

	He shook his head.  Silly Harima; a real man would 
have dated both of them.  But hopefully, if she thought 
about it hard, she'd figure out where to find him.  She just 
needed some encouragement.

	Right?

***********

	Eri was in the backyard shooting targets.  This enabled 
her to avoid the need to shoot other people.  

	Stupid Kenji.  Stupid Yakumo.  Stupid Tenma.  The 
three of them living together has probably caused all their 
idiocy to fuse together into an invincible force of idiocy, 
she thought.

	Blam, she blew another target out of the sky.  

	I could have had him, she thought.  Not that it could 
have worked out...I'd never be allowed to marry a poor guy 
like him.  But I could have...for a little while...

	He's not worth it, she thought as she toasted another 
target.  

	He's off in the middle of the wilderness, probably 
getting rained on and attacked by wild animals.  But it's his 
own fault.  I was honest with him and he ran away, she 
thought.

	Anything that happens to him...

	She could think of a million things that could happen 
to him.

	Once she started crying, Butler-san made sure to take 
away the gun.

***************

	"You need me to what?" Akira asked Yakumo.

	"Please take care of my big sister.  I have to find 
Kenji," she said.

	Akira's eyes narrowed slightly.  "How are you going 
to find him?"

	"My heart will lead me to him," Yakumo said, almost 
blissfully.

	Akira's eyes narrowed more.  "The heart is not a GPS 
system."

	"God has told me what to do," Yakumo said serenely.

	Akira looked over at Sara, who looked nervous.  
"Sara, what is going on?"

	"Well, it certainly seemed like the voice of God," Sara 
said nervously.  "But...well, it isn't his normal MO these 
days."

	"Yakumo," Akira said gently.  "I expect that someone 
is pranking you."

	"No!  It makes too much sense," Yakumo said.  "I 
have to do this, sempai.  I have to."  She put a hand over 
her heart.  "I can't just wait."

	"He'll come back," Akira said.  "He just needs some 
space."  She hoped she was right.

	"He needs me," Yakumo said.  "Eri-sempai confused 
him, but I will straighten him out."  She sounded quite 
confident.

	"I can't stop you," Akira said.  "But I think this is 
foolish.  And not what Kenji wants."  She looked at Sara, 
willing her to say something sensible.

	But Sara mumbled, "Love often isn't very wise.  But 
God is love."

	Akira shook her head, then put a hand on Yakumo's 
shoulder.  "Fine.  I will loan you some camping gear.  Just 
make sure you don't miss winter exams."  Sometimes, you 
have to roll with the punches.  "And I will try to watch over 
your sister."

	"Thank you," Yakumo said, bowing.  

	Once she was gone, Akira checked the bug she'd 
planted on Yakumo.  It was working, so she could track her 
if necessary.  The problem would be whether it would stay 
on her...  Though she could bug the gear too, and that 
would hopefully do the trick.

**************

	"Leaving?" Tenma asked.  "I should go with you," she 
said.

	"I'll be fine with Sara," Yakumo said.  "You can't 
afford to miss class, big sister."

	"But..." Tenma protested.  "You're not still angry with 
me, are you?" she asked weakly.

	"This is my duty," Yakumo replied.  "But I'm not 
angry at you."  Much.  "I'll be fine," Yakumo continued.  
"We leave in the morning."

	"But school..."

	"We'll take our books with us and study at night," 
Yakumo said.  "And we'll be back quickly, I think."

	"I guess if God told you to do it..."

	"He did," Yakumo said firmly.  Sara looked less 
certain.

	Tenma hugged her sister.  "Be careful, okay?"

	"I will," Yakumo said.  "Don't worry."

	But that's half a big sister's job.

**************
	
	The next morning, Tenma was walking alone to 
school, feeling depressed and worried about her sister.  
Could her little sister really find Kenji?  Would she be 
okay?

	She'd tried calling Kenji, but he didn't answer his 
phone.  Eri didn't either.

	She could see someone ahead, some happy couple 
walking hand in hand.  Then she realized it was Mikoto and 
Hanai.  "How's it going?" she asked.

	Hanai looked back at her and smiled nervously.  
"Well."

	"Great," Mikoto said, smiling.  "Even if we got 
grounded."

	She smiled broadly for Mikoto.  At least someone was 
happy.  "So you two are serious now?"

	"Yes," Mikoto said firmly.

	Hanai nodded, though he looked nervous about it.

	"Good.  You're a cute couple.  Be good to Mikoto-
chan, Hanai-kun," Tenma said.

	"I will," he said.  "I take my duties seriously."

	Tenma sighed.  "Yakumo's gone off to find Kenji."

	"What?" Hanai asked in confusion.

	"He got all sick and panicky and now he's run off into 
the wilderness again," Tenma said, sighing and staring at 
the ground.

	Hanai grimaced.  "So he abandoned Yakumo-san, did 
he?"

	"I'm sure he's still sick and confused and he may not 
even know what he's doing.  I don't know she's going to 
find him, but God told her to go find him," Tenma said.

	"God told her," Hanai said suspiciously.  "Sounds like 
a con."

	"Sara is a priestess!  She is in contact with the gods," 
Tenma said firmly.

	Mikoto looked dubious too.  "I'd be wary of oracles."

	"She's gone now."

	"How does she expect to find him?" Hanai asked, 
scowling.

	"Follow her heart..." Tenma said weakly.

	"You let your sister run off into the wilderness without 
you to find Harima after he abandoned her?  What kind of 
sister are you?" Hanai snapped.

	Tenma's eyes widened; her jaw dropped.  "I...she 
wanted to go so bad and God said it was okay..."

	"There are crazed martial artists out there looking to 
improve their skills and find inner peace through exterior 
violence!"  Hanai said, waving his arms wildly.  He got a 
grip on himself.  "She could be in danger."

	"It's not that dangerous," Mikoto said.  "Though you 
probably shouldn't have let her go."

	Tenma cringed in on herself.  "I couldn't stop her," she 
mumbled.

	"Then you're a terrible sister," Hanai said.

	"Haruki-kun, that wasn't very nice," Mikoto said, 
frowning.

	"Yakumo could be under attack by a bear, right this 
minute!" Hanai said.  He could hardly think of anything but 
the dangers she was in.

	"We've been camping with her.  She's sensible.  I 
expect she'll wander a few days and then come home," 
Mikoto said.  "Forget about Yakumo; we have school."  
Mikoto hoped she wasn't being too callous, but she 
remembered the huge crush he used to have on Yakumo, 
and she was feeling a little jealous.  

	"She's supposed to call me each day," Tenma 
mumbled.

	Akira came up now, holding Nara's hand.  She studied 
Mikoto and Hanai.  "He still running around on you?" she 
asked.

	"No, we're together now."  Mikoto smiled and pulled 
Hanai a little closer.  

 	Hanai laughed nervously, then leaned over and kissed 
Mikoto softly on the lips.  "Like that," he said.  They both 
blushed a little.

	Akira silently swept Nara around into an embrace, 
swept him into a dip, and gave him a long kiss, until finally 
they came up for air.  Hanai frowned a bit at being 
upstaged.

	"I am soooo jealous," Tenma said.  "Though I had a 
really good date with Karasuma and we finally kissed last 
night."

	"He should be here with you," Akira said.  Nara 
nodded.

	"He comes from the other way," Tenma said.  "But 
we'll see each other at school."

	"Congratulations," Hanai said, smiling a moment 
before going back to looking unhappy.

	"I bet Eri will be excited to hear your luck is looking 
up," Mikoto said to Tenma.

	Tenma stared at the ground, then walked into a tree.  
She almost fell, but Nara darted over and caught her.  
"Thank you, Nara."  She turned to Mikoto, saying, "Eri and 
I had a fight because of Yakumo and Kenji going out and I 
think Eri loves him.  Or hates him.  Or both."

	"Very good, Nara-san," Hanai said absently, then said, 
"It looks to me like the usual thing of her being too proud 
to admit what she really feels and taking it out on others."

	"Haruki-kun, be nice," Mikoto said.

	"Am I wrong?" he asked.

	To everyone's surprise, Akira said, "He's right."

	"Thank you, Takano-san."

	"I just don't want Eri to hate me if Yakumo and Kenji 
make up," Tenma mumbled.

	"She'll focus her hate-rays at them, not you," Nara 
said.  "Right?"

	"Eri and I had a fight a while back; we got over it.  
You two can work it out," Mikoto said optimistically, while 
trying to think if there was some way for her and Hanai to 
sneak off together some time before they had to go home...

	"That's true," Tenma said.  She felt better already.

**************

	Mai began to fret.  Where was Tani-sensei?  He was 
already ten minutes late and everyone was getting restless.  
"Hanai-san, can you check the teacher's office?"

	He didn't say anything, staring out the window.

	"Hanai-san!"

	He jumped.  "I...fish...what?"

	She blinked.  "Tani-sensei is late.  Can you go see if 
he called in sick?"

	"Yes," he said, and ambled out.

	Mai watched everyone, wondering who knew about 
her date with Tougo.  Imadori was busy trading porn with 
his friends; this was against school rules, especially the way 
Karen was hanging on him.

	She strode over.  "What are you doing?  Trading porn 
is..."

	"You want some pictures of you and your beau?" 
Imadori asked.

	Mai turned red.  "I don't have a beau!" she protested.

	"So you and Tougo were just randomly doing it?" 
Imadori asked.  "Or did he pay you?"

	There was a moment of awful, terrible silence, and 
then Mai could see everyone staring at her.  "I am not a 
prostitute!" 

	"Just using him for sex, then," Imadori said.

	"No!"

	"So he IS your beau," Imadori said.

	"What's a beau?"  Tenma asked.

	"We were conferencing," Mai protested.

	"Naked," Imadori said.

	"No!" she said, but she could see a lot of people didn't 
believe her.  And some of them looked pretty angry.

	"Actually, the school security cameras did catch some 
of it," Buddha said.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Mai fled 
the room; it was just too much.

	Hanai soon returned, frowning.  "Tani-sensei didn't 
call in and they can't get him at home.  Vice Principal 
Osaka will be coming to supervise our homeroom and 
teach English today."

	"Vice Principal Osaka?  Isn't she basically a drug 
addict?" Fuyuki asked.

	"No, she's that way naturally," he said.  
	
	"She's naturally a drug addict?"

	"No, just kind of tripped out," Hanai said.  "Anyway, 
we should await her."

	VP Osaka soon arrived, a flaky looking woman with 
big eyes and long, dull brown hair.  "Hello, everyone.  We 
don't know where Tani-sensei is, though we're also missing 
Tae-sensei, so probably they've eloped together."

	Many gasped in the class.  The men gnashed their 
teeth and wailed in despair.  "The lucky dog!" 
Yoshidayama wailed.

	"Well, 'fish General Motors' as they would say in 
English.  From the latin 'Carpe GM', you see.  I will be 
teaching you all about puns today for your English lesson."

	Everyone stared at her, except for Karen, who tittered 
until everyone turned to look at her.

	"Alright.  I need a volunteer to pun," VP Osaka said.

	Nervously, Karen raised her hand.  "I will try," she 
said.

	" 'Let it rip for the halibut' ", VP Osaka said in 
English.

	" 'Jack the Ripper is now a video pirate' ", Karen said.

	"Oooh, good start," VP Osaka said.  "Someone else 
give it a try."

	There was a deep and deadly silence, as most of them 
did not know English well enough to even try.  Finally, Eri 
said, "'Can I axe you a question?'".  

	VP Osaka began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

	Eri continued, " 'How do I tuna the radio to the right 
station?' "

	VP Osaka began to turn red from laughing.  Everyone 
else just kind of stared.

	Buddha said, hesitantly, " 'When they ask for softcore 
at our video store, I always give them a rotten peach pit,' "

	Osaka turned a delicate purple, then fell over, laughing 
and choking at once.

	"Victory," Eri pronounced, and then Hanai rushed 
over to her.  

 	"If the nurse is missing, who do I take her to?" he 
asked.  

	"The old nurse, Itoko-sensei," Akira said.  "Shouldn't 
you know what to do in an emergency, class rep?"

	He scowled and got Mikoto to help him carry her out.

*************

	At lunch, Tenma went to sit with Karasuma.  It was 
strange; he was friendly, but no more so than before.  She 
wanted to kiss him but everyone was watching, or so it 
seemed, and he didn't seem inclined to start anything.  But 
he was happy to be there, she thought.

	Eri sat with Akira, Nara, Mikoto, and Hanai.  Being 
confronted with wall to wall snuggling did not improve her 
mood.  But she tried to hold back for the sake of her 
friends.  It's not like they drove off Kenji.

	"We're grounded too now," Mikoto told Eri.

	"What happened?"

	"Hanai and I stayed overnight at Miki and Masahiro's 
place," Mikoto said.

	"Technically, it's Miki and her roommate's place.  I 
wonder where the roommate was, anyway," Hanai said.

	"Probably off with a boyfriend," Nara said.

	Eri twitched at the thought of this, feeling rather 
envious.  She didn't have anyone to do that with or a  place 
to do it.  Though Tenma would probably happily let friends 
use her place for such...things.

	"Anyway, we had a very good time," Mikoto said, 
looking a little embarrassed.  "But we're grounded for a 
week."

	"But you can still snuggle up here," Eri mumbled.

	"We're lucky," Mikoto said.

	Hanai nodded, though he looked nervous.

	Eri asked, "How did Lala take it?"

	"She, um, doesn't know yet," Hanai said nervously.

	"Well, you should go dump her today," Mikoto said.  
"Best not to leave her hanging."

	Nervously, Hanai said, "That's true.  I'll do it after 
school.  I'm sure she's busy with lunch right now."

************
	
	"A trial?" Tougo said to the mob gathered around him.

	"You betrayed our class with the class president of 
another class!" Harry said.  "You must be punished."

	2-D roared its support.  

	"I might note that, in fact, Harry and Lala are also 
dating members of 2-C."

	The class turned to glare at them.  Someone shouted, 
"Triple Treason trial!"

	"Recant!  Recant!"

	Harry wondered what that meant.

	"My seduction of her has been a valuable source of 
intel for this class," Tougo began.

	"USER OF WOMEN!" one of the girls shouted, 
throwing a school book at him.

	"Really, she jumped on me," Harry said desperately.  
He took a book to the face as well.

	Lala stood up on her desk.  "Yes!  He's my boyfriend 
and I'm proud of it!  And if that is treason, then I will make 
the most of it!"

	The women seemed satisfied with this.  The men, 
however, shouted, "TRAITOR!  BRING OUT THE HOT 
SAUCE!"

	Little did they realize this was like throwing Br'er Fox 
in the briar patch...

***************

	Karen wasn't sure if she could handle seeing Lala at 
wrestling practice after school.  She was still feeling 
irritated at Lala wrecking her date.

	She was surprised to find everyone asleep, except for 
an annoyed looking Lala.

	"What happened?" she asked.

	"I don't know," Lala said.  "I expect they're trying to 
tease me."  She frowned.

	Karen came over; the air had a strongly spicy smell to 
it.  "What's this weird smell?"

	"My class can't handle me dating Haruki-kun," Lala 
said.  "So they made me drink two bottles of hot sauce."

	The wave of her breath now hit Karen.  Her eyes 
crossed as super intense hot spice flavor rushed over her.  
Karen fainted.

	"Why is everyone in this school so weak?" Lala asked.  
"Who am I supposed to wrestle now?"

	The question went unanswered.

**************

	"Where's Sara?" Asou asked one of her classmates.

	"She's gone hiking with Tsukamoto," one of them 
said.  "Out in the countryside.  I'm surprised, really.  She 
never skips."

	Dammit, Asou thought.  I told Sara this was insane, 
but I guess she didn't listen.  Now I have to go find her 
before she does something stupid.  

	So WHERE is she?

**************

	Sara hiked with Yakumo, being glad that her nun 
outfit was nice and warm in winter time.  She'd brought her 
guns, just in case, though it did seem quite peaceful.

	She looked over at Yakumo, who tramped along, 
seemingly having no doubt as to where she was going.  
Sara wished she had that level of serenity.  

	An owl perched in a tree, looking down at them.  
Yakumo waved to it and continued ambling through the 
hilly forest.  

	The third time they saw the owl, Sara began to worry.  
"Yakumo-chan, we're not going in a circle, are we?"

	"What?  No, of course not," Yakumo said.  "We're 
following my heart.  I'm sure we'll find Kenji soon."

	Sara hoped she was right.

************

	The daytime was fine.  The previous night had sucked, 
though.  Harima had grown used to sleeping in a nice warm 
house, and it had been cold and a little damp.  And the 
ground was rough and bumpy.

	On the other hand, today was much better.  Harima 
had just forgotten everything else and spent the day 
drawing animals and trees and everything.  It felt so good 
to just do what he wanted, to just slack off and forget about 
women.

	He'd only had to punch one gorilla, thankfully.

	The problem was going to be when his food supply 
ran out.  But that wouldn't happen for days; he'd stocked up 
on cup ramen.  It wouldn't be great, but he could live on it.  
And when he ran out, he'd go back.

	But for now, he would relax and enjoy himself and 
NOT think about women at all.  There was, thankfully, 
nothing here to remind him of Tenma.

	His hand shook a moment, and he fought off the urge 
to draw her.  He had to forget her or he would go mad.  
And thinking about her led him to Eri and Yakumo and he 
didn't want to go there.

	Stupid Hanai and his three girlfriends, Harima 
thought.  How does he do it?

************

	Yuuki hadn't been at school at all, which worried 
Hanai a little.  But not as much as Lala, who he took more 
seriously.  He'd spent the whole day half worrying about 
Yakumo and half trying to figure out what to say to Lala.  
Also, half of him was wondering if he and Mikoto were 
pushing too fast.  Was it really fair of him to do that with 
her when his mind still had a big chunk of Yakumo in it?  
He was worried half to death about her.  That wasn't fair to 
Mikoto.

	He finally found Lala with a hose in her mouth, 
drinking like she was dying of thirst.

	"Lala-san, what are you doing?" she asked.

	"Stay back," she said.  "My breath is still a mess."  
Gargle, gargle.

	"What?"

	"Our class put us on trial for dating members of yours.  
I had to drink two bottles of hot sauce.  They disassembled 
Harry's bike and hid the pieces around the school.  And 
Tougo..."  She shuddered.

	"And Tougo?"

	"They shaved his head," she said, shuddering and 
touching her own raven locks.  

	"That is kind of harsh," he said, imagining a bald Lala 
and shuddering.

	Lala held a hand close to her face and breathed out 
onto it.  Her eyes crossed.  "Dammit," she said.  "My breath 
is still harsh.  No kissing today."

	Hanai tried to steel himself to get to the point.  "Lala, 
Saturday..."

	Lala suddenly looked very embarrassed.  "People don't 
normally make out like that where people will see them 
from the parking lot, do they?  Tougo was claiming this 
was common."

	"..."

	"I mean...I'm not afraid to make out with someone, but 
doing it with people watching you seems kind of freaky to 
me.  Kind of like you are under the hypnotic influence of 
your sex drive," Lala continued, oblivious to Hanai's brain 
melting.  "I mean, at least they didn't have sex with people 
in the same room.  That would just be utterly perverted."

	I am such a pervert, he thought.  If I don't break things 
off with Lala, she'll end up dragged into my web.  Even 
Imadori doesn't have sex with people watching.  It had been 
exciting; he'd liked it and it had scared him at the same 
time.  Also, Miki had looked rather good naked.

	He shook his head.  Don't think about Miki!  I have 
too many women already, he thought.  I mean, I don't 'have' 
them, but they're after me.

	Which was kind of exciting too.  Lala was a definite 
looker and Yuuki was endearingly sweet and innocent.  
Except when she was evil, anyway.  

	He shook his head again.  No, I have to be a man.  I'm 
Mikoto's boyfriend now and even if Yakumo is dying in a 
ditch because I'm not there...

	"Haruki-kun, are you okay?" Lala asked, sounding 
concerned.

	"I'm fine," he lied, feeling himself start to spazz out.  

	She stepped up to him, forgetting about her breath, 
and pulled him in close.  The hot sauce smell would 
normally have jarred him out of it, but now his brain was 
contemplating kissing her which was exactly the WRONG 
thing to do.  "What's bothering you?" she whispered softly.

	He wished he could tell her.  But he couldn't.  I'm 
pathetic, he thought.  I can't resist any woman who comes 
after me, he thought.  They all deserve better.  It was far too 
tempting to think about letting this all drag out longer, the 
better to...

	No, he wouldn't.  And Yakumo, all alone in the 
wilderness...

	He felt like he was going to burst.  "Lots of people in 
my class acting crazy," he mumbled.  "And I'm the one 
who is supposed to be responsible."

	"Anything I can do to help?" she asked.

	"Take me to the nurse station," he mumbled.  "I want 
to lie down."

	She took him to the station, where Itoko laid him on a 
bed and gave him a once over.  "IMS, I see," Itoko said.

	"Is that bad?" Lala asked.

	"Most boys his age suffer it," she said.  "Just let him 
rest a while."

	"Okay," she said, then kissed his cheek.  "I have to 
run.  I have practice," she said.

	"Good luck," he mumbled.

	Once she was gone, he asked, "What is IMS?"

	"Idiot Male Syndrome.  You can't keep this up forever, 
you know," she said.

	"I know," he said, sighing.  "I meant to tell her."

	"Meaning isn't enough.  Get your head on straight and 
be a man.  At least Imadori never hides his feelings."

	Hanai felt gut-punched at that.  I need to get my head 
on straight, he thought.  Harima had the right idea.  I've got 
to get out of the middle of this and get my head on straight.  

**************

	Yakumo sat quietly, cooking soup.  Sara watched the 
woods; she had the vague feeling of being watched.  Once 
it was ready, she ate her bowl with her back to the fire, 
watching the trees.

	"I'm pretty sure we're safe," Yakumo said.

	"I saw something watching us," Sara said.

	"It's just a duck or something," Yakumo said, seeming 
unafraid.

	"Something moved!"  Sara insisted, then pointed at a 
rustling bush.

	Yakumo gripped her staff.  Sara pulled her pistols, 
though she didn't want to use holy bullets on wildlife if she 
didn't have to.  

	Then the tanuki curiously stuck its head out, looking at 
them.  Seeing the pistols, he turned and ran.

	Yakumo smiled a little, relaxing.  "He was cute."

	Sara sighed.   "Okay, just a tanuki."

	But when she went for seconds, a third of the soup 
was gone...

************

	Eri had no choice, really.  No one else was going to go 
kick Harima's ass for being an idiot, so it fell to her.  Even 
if this would likely get her grounded for life.  The life of 
the Sun.

	She finished checking her box of shells, adjusted her 
hat, pulled on her boots, then buttoned her riding jacket.  It 
would be cold.  She finished packing her saddlebags, then 
swung up onto the back of the horse.  She didn't have a 
motorcycle, but Gold would have to do.  

	"Hiho, Gold, away!"  She spurred him out of the 
stables, only to be confronted by Butler-san.

	"Is Miss going on a hunting expedition?"

	"Yes, I'm hunting Harima for running away."

	"And you will find him by...?"

	Eri frowned, having not really thought of that.  "Japan 
is small.  He hasn't got much room to hide."

	"I would like to remind Ojou-sama that Japan is one 
and a half times the size of the United Kingdom and has, 
thus, many places to hide," Butler-san said.

	"I have to go find him," she said urgently.

	"Because you love him," Butler-san said neutrally.

	"No!  I want to kick his ass!" she said.

	He stared at her.

	She stared at the ground, mumbling, "Well, maybe."

	"Your parents will be angry," he said.

	"I don't care.  I have to do this."  She stared at him, 
trying to get him to move by sheer force of will.

	And to her surprise, he stepped aside.

	"Thank you," she said softly, and then rode off.

	He went upstairs to her father's office.  "The tracer is 
in the saddlebags, sir.  Are you sure this is wise?"

	"She'll become unmanageable otherwise," he said.  
"I'll ground her for life when she returns.  Keep an eye on 
her."

	"Yes, sir."

	Now it was time for him to saddle up.

*************	

	Hanai hesitated.  He couldn't just leave them all notes; 
that would be cheesy.  He wouldn't be a coward that way 
like Harima had been.  But if he tried to tell them, he'd 
wimp out, like he did with Lala.  Also, he was grounded, 
and if he left, then he'd be in trouble.  Unless...

	He found his father.  "I think, since I'm grounded, we 
should take this chance to go take a training trip," he said.  
"As I can't go and do anything else."

	His father looked at him curiously.  "Who's out to kill 
you this time, boy?"

	"I...no one.  I just thought..."

	"You want out of town without getting in trouble," he 
said.  "Did you get Mikoto-chan pregnant?"

	"No!"  Though he hadn't thought to use any protection 
and suddenly felt guilty about it.

	"Did you get Miki-san pregnant?"

	"I didn't even touch her!!!!" Hanai said.

	His father smiled a little. "Lala?"

	"NO ONE IS PREGNANT!" 

	"Just can't bring yourself to dump Lala?"

	Hanai stared at the floor.

	His father sighed.  "Boy, you're going to have to do it.  
And I won't let you run away from it."

	"But to make sure, I'll invite both of them on the 
training trip.  You will either dump her or they'll both kill 
you."  He smiled like someone anticipating a good brawl.

	"But if I dump her on the trip, she'll be angry at me the 
rest of the way back!" Hanai protested.

	"What you get for stringing her along," Hania's father 
said, shaking his head sadly.

	Never speak to Father again, Hanai resolved.  I should 
have learned this long ago.

*************

	Mai lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.  She couldn't 
face them.  She couldn't go back.  Not when she didn't even 
know her own heart about all this.  It could never work; she 
knew that from the start.

	But she didn't want to let go, either.  She liked him 
and still found him attractive.  Maybe dangerously so.  

	So, for now...she'd just miss a few days, take the time 
to think.  Her parents wouldn't even notice, anyway.

**************

	"So how did she take it?" Mikoto asked as she, Akira, 
Nara, Tenma, and Hanai walked to school together.

	Hanai mumbled to himself.

	"Chickened out before you could tell her?" Akira 
asked archly.

	"I...no, she..."  He sighed.  "Yes."

	"What, does Mikoto giving you her virginity mean 
NOTHING to you?" Akira asked.

	Tenma blushed, imagining the two of them, making 
love and...  She chased the thought out of her mind, trying 
to focus on Karasuma.  

	Mikoto turned red, then began to look angry.  Hanai 
visibly started, then stared at Akira in surprise, wondering 
how she knew.  "That's between us!" Mikoto said.  "Stop 
judging my boyfriend!"  She sounded very cross.  Then she 
turned to Hanai.  "Haruki-kun, you are too kind to people 
who do not deserve it.  It'll be easier on her the less you let 
it drag out."

	"I just...she had to drink hot sauce and..."  He paused 
and made himself do a breathing exercise.

	"She deserved a lot worse than that," Akira said.  "You 
shouldn't coddle that thug."  Her voice was cool, with only 
a hint of steel.

	"How can you stand to be friendly with someone who 
would beat up Akira like that?" Nara demanded, angrily.

	"If I hated everyone I got in a fight with here, I'd hate 
a LOT of people," Hanai said.  "And that fight wouldn't 
have happened if Karen and Imadori hadn't decided to let 
other people get beat up in their place!"

	"_I_ stand up for my classmates, _class rep_," Akira 
said flatly.  

	"Don't tell Haruki how to do his job!" Mikoto said, 
stepping between them.  "And _I_ will decide if I ought to 
be mad at him or not, not you."

	"Please don't fight," Tenma said weakly.

	"Have you slept with Gonzales too?" Akira demanded.

	"No!!!!" Hanai shouted.  Now he was starting to get 
mad.  He stormed up to shout over Mikoto's shoulder.  "I 
have never done that with anyone but Mikoto-kun."  Even 
if he had fantasized about it with Yakumo...or Lala...or... 
but that didn't count.  Dammit.  He wrapped his arms 
around her and she jumped a little.  "I'm not that kind of 
guy."

	"Just the weakling who can't say no to a woman he 
doesn't want," Akira said, sounding slightly disgusted.  She 
put an arm around Nara, who did the same to her.  "I'm 
lucky I have a real man who knows what he wants."

	"Yeah, a real man who leaves his girlfriend behind to 
be clobbered while he runs for help," Mikoto said angrily.

	Nara suddenly looked very guilty, staring at the 
ground.

	"He wanted to stay, but I made him go; there would 
have been no point.  I'd rather have a boyfriend who 
sensibly stays out of fights he can't win than one who won't 
dump his other girlfriend because he likes having two 
girlfriends!" Akira's voice rose to what would be slightly 
irritated in most, but meant more in her case.

	"That's enough," Tenma said, trying to be firm.  
"Please, let's not fight."  Her voice was pleading.

	"Lala-san is not my girlfriend!" Hanai protested.  "I 
am not a two timer!"  But he felt like one; the guilt gnawed 
at him slowly, but firmly.

	"Don't accuse my boyfriend of being a two-timer!" 
Mikoto said.  "I am tired of the way you always snipe at 
Haruki-kun.  What did he ever do to you?"

	"He's not worthy of you," Akira said.  "A man who 
two times is worthless."

	Nara frowned.  Technically, that included his Dad.  
And Mother.  Well, she wasn't a man.  But their situation 
was unusual and he didn't want to undercut his girlfriend.  
So he kept silent for now.

	"That is enough," Tenma said more firmly, pushing 
between Mikoto and Akira.  "I don't want to see my friends 
fighting."

	That got them to back off, but they ended up walking 
to school in fuming silence.

************

	Akira looked up in surprise at Asou.  "Is something 
wrong, Asou-san?"

	"Sara has run off into the wilderness with Yakumo on 
some insane quest to find Harima.  Never mind that I can 
hardly imagine how they expect to find him.  I can't just sit 
back and wait for them to get hurt, which means I have to 
find them.  I'm hoping you have some idea how, as Suga 
and I brainstormed for two hours and couldn't think of a 
plan."

	"Did you try calling them?" Akira asked.

	"..."

	"Crazy, and yet it might work," Suga said 
sarcastically.

	"Will they work out there?" Asou asked.

	"It's worth trying."

	"Okay, then let's give Sara a call..."

************

	Mikoto took Hanai aside before class.  "You have to 
dump her today, Haruki-kun," she said.

	"Dad wants the two of you to go on a training trip with 
him for the rest of the week of grounding," Hanai 
mumbled.

	"..."

	"Yeah, I know," he said, staring at the floor.  "Dad's 
crazy."

	"We can't...I mean, a week with you would be 
nice...look, you have to dump her so she won't want to 
come," Mikoto said.  "Don't wimp out."

	"I did not wimp out!" Hanai protested.

	"I could dump her myself, but it would just lead to her 
disbelieving me and probably starting a fight," Mikoto said.  
She poked him in the chest.  "I know you don't want to hurt 
her feelings, but you're going to have to.  You shouldn't 
have let it drag on this long."

	"Well, she's hard to say no to," Hanai said.  "And I 
wasn't really seeing anyone.  I mean, we were just faking it 
and..."

	Mikoto stared at the ground.  "Haruki-kun, you really 
like me, don't you?  I mean...I'm not just pushing you into 
being my boyfriend for real, am I?"  Her voice was soft and 
nervous.

	There was really only one thing he could say in a 
situation like this.  Swallow his doubts and worries and 
internal mental divisions.  This wasn't the time to admit to 
his own inner worries or to note the part of his brain 
fretting over Yakumo.  Akira was right; she'd given him her 
most precious thing and here he was, holding himself back 
from her.  I am a dog, he thought.  But saying that would 
only hurt her.  He could at least give her as much as a dog 
like him could manage.  He cared about her, and she was a 
good girlfriend, after all.  "I care about you very much," he 
told her.  That was truthful at least.  "I don't know if I can 
be a very good boyfriend, but I will try," he told her.  "I 
was just very surprised when you changed your mind."

	"You helped me get over Masahiro," she said softly.  
"And all the...it felt right, being your girlfriend.  I liked it.  
And I like you, Haruki-kun.  You're the man for me, 
whatever Akira may say."

	"I'd think she was jealous, but she has no interest in 
me and she has a boyfriend, so I just don't get it," Hanai 
said, sighing.  "I don't want to hurt your friendship with 
her, but I'm not going to put up with her insulting me."

	"Let her cool off," Mikoto said.  "I'll figure something 
out."

	He suddenly wondered if Yakumo was okay, then told 
himself to stop.  Surely, she was fine.

****************

	Yakumo walked stiffly next to Sara, who looked wary, 
gun in hand.  Something had stolen some of their food at 
each meal and 	now they had the feeling of being watched.  
She tried to follow her heart, but it was preoccupied with 
potential danger.

	And then the phone rang.  

	Sara grabbed her phone.  "Hello?"

	"Hello, this is Asou," Asou said.  "Are you still in the 
wilderness?"

	"Yes, and something is stealing our food."

	"..."

	"We're not sure if it's evil spirits, hobos, or tanuki," 
Sara continued, nervously.

	"I told you not to go," he said flatly.

	"I couldn't leave Yakumo alone," she said.

	He glanced over at Suga and thought about all the 
crazy things they'd gotten into due to Suga's 'clever plans'.  
He sighed.  "Look, we're going to come find you.  I will go 
crazy worrying about you otherwise."

	She smiled.  "That's really sweet of you."

	"We probably should bring my girlfriend so she 
doesn't fret," Suga said.

	"You two still going out?" Asou asked him in surprise.  

	"Yeah, she's pretty cool," Suga said.  

	"And we're bringing Suga's girlfriend.  Try not to bite 
each other."

	"I won't bite her," Sara promised.  "She's not in my 
way any more."  Beat.  "I mean..."

	He laughed.  "How altruistic of you."

	"Don't tease me!" she protested, blushing a little.

	"Only when you deserve it," he said.  "Where are 
you?"

	"Somewhere east of Ombetsu," she said.  "We 
followed the stream into the mountains."

	"Well, that's a start," he said.  "I'll call you again when 
we get closer."

	"Good.  Come as quick as you can."

	"We will," he said, then said, "Take care of yourself, 
Sara-san."

	"I will, Asou-san," she said.  "See you soon!"

	He hung up and then said to Akira, "Thank you."

	"You're welcome."

	"Come on, Suga, let's steal your girlfriend and go."

************
	
	Dump Lala, Hanai told himself.  Or we're screwed.  
He went to see her at lunch.  She seemed to be working on 
a master plan to destroy Imadori.  'Stage six:  Shave 
Imadori bald.'

	"Lala, got a minute to talk?" he asked nervously.

	"Sure," she said, her mood suddenly lightening.

	He took her aside and they headed outside.  She was 
smiling, and he felt his stomach curdle.  He couldn't stand 
to smash up a smile like that.  It would be terrible.

	Lala sat down on a bench with him and took his hand.  
She was so bold; he kind of liked bold.  Was she going to 
jump on him like Mikoto had?  Part of him liked the idea; 
the rest felt rather guilty over that.  What if Yakumo was 
lying somewhere, injured, while he made time with Lala?

	"You're grounded through the weekend, right?" she 
asked.

	"Yes."

	"Dammit," she said, frowning a second, then smiling 
again.  "Well, we can go out the next weekend."

	"Lala, I..."

	"Hmm.  I'd like to go dancing.  Does that sound good 
to you?"  She smiled at him in a way he realized he never 
saw her smile at anyone else.  She really likes me, he 
thought, and felt his stomach sour more.

	"I like dancing," he mumbled.

	"Is something wrong?"

	"No, nothing's wrong," he said instinctively, then 
regretted it.  Now what could he do?  You couldn't say that, 
then dump someone.  This was getting pathetic.

	Suddenly, his father came out from behind a tree.  
"What my son is trying to do is to see if you want to come 
with us on our training trip.  We leave tomorrow morning.  
I will be trying to beat some new moves into his head."

	"Yes!" she said enthusiastically.  "I'd love to."

	I am so dead, he thought.  NEVER TALK TO 
FATHER AGAIN.  

**********

	"Honey, is this wise?" Hanai's mother asked his father 
later. 

	"Sometimes you have to rub the dog's nose in it, 
honey," he said.

	"But what if they kill him?"

	"Pain is a great teacher," Hanai's father said.  

	"Just be careful."  She sounded worried.

	"I'll only let him get somewhat maimed," Hanai's 
father said, leaning on the counter.

	Hanai's mother hoped that was true, but feared it was 
not.  But it was out of her hands.

***************

	Eri decided, as the cops chased her, that riding through 
the city on horseback with a rifle in her hands, had not been 
the wisest of possible ideas.  She was just kind of nervous, 
being out here in the boondocks.

	She didn't want to shoot at them, but short of being 
arrested, she wasn't sure what else she could do.  They 
would soon figure out how to cut her off somewhere, once 
enough cops showed up.

	If she could reach the right edge of town, she could 
head into the forest, she just...

	And then she saw it; there was a shopping mall.  She 
leaned down and galloped across the parking lot, cop cars 
in hot pursuit, people scattering.  A good shove with her 
gun opened the doors and she rode into the mall, sending 
more people fleeing.

	Mall security dove out of her way and she rode along, 
tossing some money into a small food stall and grabbing a 
bowl of ramen.  She ate desperately as her horse galloped 
along, tossing the empty laminated box into a trashcan as 
she erupted out the end of the mall.

	Far behind, the cops had to circle around, except for 
one stubborn cop car which she now realized had driven 
THROUGH the mall.

	"I recognize you despite the disguise, Lupin!" a 
middle aged detective in a fedora and trenchcoat shouted 
out the window.

	What the hell?, she thought.

	"I WILL CATCH YOU!"

	She raced towards the gulley on the far side, which 
had been nicely dug down and concreted by some pork 
barrel project.  She rode down the slope and up the other 
side; the cop car tried to follow her but got stuck.

	"I WILL FIND YOU!" the cop shouted as she rode 
off.

	Not if I can help it, Eri thought.

*************

	After the latest gorilla attack, Harima decided it was 
time to find out why the gorillas were angry.  So he 
dragged one of them off with him to a safe distance from 
the knocked out others, and waited for him to wake up.

	Upon awakening, the gorilla leaped at him, and he had 
to wrestle it down.  "Why are you attacking me?"

	"You always punch every gorilla you see!" the gorilla 
protested.

	"No, I don't!  I've hardly even met any gorillas until 
this trip," Harima said.  "Did you mistake me for someone 
else?"

	"Aren't you Lord Harima?"

	Harima liked the sound of that, but clearly there was 
some mistake.  "I'm not a lord."

	"You are missing his harem..."

	"Harem?" Harima asked.

	"Witch Yakumo and Sorceress Eri."

	"What, he's dating both of them at once?" Harima 
asked.  He sounded surprised.

	"Yes."

	That two-timing monkey! Harima thought.  Even 
though it made him a little envious.  "I must find him and 
punch him in the face."  He struck a pose of righteous 
vengeance.

	"Join our crusade against him!" the gorilla offered, 
holding out a hand.

	Harima took his hand.  "I will!  Let us destroy this 
two-timer!"  I will show Tenma how I listen to what she 
tells me!  I will prove I am not a monkey by 
DESTROYING a monkey!

	He won't know what hit him.

*************
	
	"Why isn't he here yet," Sara mumbled nervously as 
she and Yakumo kept walking through the woods.

	"It's a long trip," she said.  She felt less nervous, 
having managed to have lunch without losing it.  Still, it 
was taking a long time, it seemed like.

	They heard a noise and looked up, but they couldn't 
see anything.  Sara frowned.  "I think maybe we're being 
followed again."

	Yakumo sighed and wished she could talk to animals.  
It would make things so much simpler.  She looked up and 
studied the wildlife...a few birds, squirrels, maybe a dog.  
But that was all.  And the dog was leaving.

	She could see Sara's mind, nervous yet full of 
affection for her.  She suddenly felt guilty for dragging 
Sara into this.  It wasn't her quest.  "I'm sorry," she said 
softly to Sara.

	"Don't worry.  This is what friends are FOR," Sara 
said firmly.

	This made Yakumo feel better.  "Let's press on, then."  
She looked around at the ground.  "I wish I could track."

	"If Harima was a ghost, I could track him.  But he's 
not," Sara said.

	"Well, God wills this.  We'll find a way," Yakumo 
said confidently.

	Sara smiled a little.  It was strange to see her acting so 
strongly.  I guess love really does make us strong, she 
thought.  I hope Asou gets here soon, she thought.  I miss 
him.

************

	Satsuki said, "Helicopters are awesome," as they 
zoomed over the forest.
	
	"Yeah.  This is great.  I wish they'd told me Tea Club 
gets to cruise around in high tech military equipment," 
Suga said.  "Are you guys secretly some global 
conspiracy?"

	"Yes," Itoko said.

	He laughed loudly, while Asou watched the ground 
warily.  He didn't like flying.  Especially with so easy a fall 
to the death handy.

	"Cool.  Do we get black hats and mirrorshades?" Suga 
asked.

	"They're in the equipment locker."

	"Awesome," Satsuki said.  "Let's suit up."

	"I do not want..." Asou began.  He soon found himself 
in a black suit and hat with mirrorshades.  "You two just 
don't listen," he grumbled.

	"You would die of boredom if I listened," Suga said.

	"Maybe I like boredom," Asou said.

	"You picked the wrong school," Itoko said.

	He had to admit she was right.

*************
	
	Tenma ate her ramen quietly; it tasted awful despite 
her efforts.  She was feeling rather lonely with so many of 
her friends leaving or gone and her sister gone.  I hope she's 
okay, Tenma thought.  

	She tried to watch TV, but she just didn't care.  She 
got out her phone and called Akira.  Akira answered.  
"Hello, Tenma-chan."

	"Hi," she said softly.  "Can you stay over with me 
tonight?"

	"Yes.  Can Nara come?"

	Tenma wasn't sure.  Part of her wanted all the 
company she could get; part wanted to be able to talk about 
men without any men around.  But she didn't want to make 
them split up.  "Sure."

	"Thank you," Akira said, her voice a little warmer 
than usual.

	"I wish I could invite Karasuma to stay here," Tenma 
mumbled.

	"What's stopping you?"

	Tenma blushed.  "It's so bold and his parents and 
you...and..."

	"You should," Akira said.

	"Akira-chan!" Tenma said in surprise.

	"I can call him if you are scared to," Akira said.

	"I...he...do you think...they'd let him come?"  Her heart 
was pounding fit to leap out of her chest.

	"Yes," Akira said.  "He's a good man, not like Hanai 
the two-timer."

	"Two-timer?  Did he..."  Tenma felt her heart clutch 
again.

	"He's taking Gonzales and Mikoto-chan on a training 
trip," Akira said, her voice growing a little harsher.

	"THAT MONKEY!" Tenma said.  "I can't allow him 
to do that to Mikoto-chan!"

	"He is indeed a monkey.  He'll no doubt be dreaming 
of Yakumo the whole time, too."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  The 
wrath of Tenma would be a terrible thing if it was the wrath 
of someone more scary and less cute and cuddly.

	"Breathe."

	Tenma had to make herself breathe.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  
BREATHE.  Finally, she calmed down.  "You have to 
come over so we can plot to destroy him.  I'll get Karasuma 
to help me.  Hanai will PAY for hurting Mikoto-chan!"  
She struck an impressive pose which no one could see.

	"Okay.  See you soon," Akira said.

	Tenma was so worked up, she called Karasuma 
without even thinking about it.  "Karasuma house," 
Karasuma replied.

	"Karasuma-kun, you must come over and help Akira-
chan and Nara-kun and I plot how to destroy Hanai for 
two-timing," Tenma said.

	"Okay."

	"Bring a pillow and a change of clothing; we may be 
up at it all night."

	"Okay," he said.

	"See you soon!"

	"Okay."

	"Bye!"  She hung up.  It was only afterwards she 
realized she'd invited him over.  And Akira was bringing 
her boyfriend.  And...

	What if they all got worked up with passion and 
then...and then...she could see it in her mind's eye.  Her 
brain overloaded and she passed out.

***********

	Harima chugged wine and sang confusing songs about 
picking lice off each other's back with his new gorilla 
friends.  A few rounds of drinking songs had removed the 
edge of hostility many in the camp had originally had for 
him, and it dulled his ability to remember why he came 
there.

	Finally, once they were all smashed, it was time to try 
and plan how to catch Lord Harima and his two-timing 
harem.  Harima suggested luring him with a third 
girlfriend, but they had no candidates.

	"How about Mikoto?  She's kind of cute, he might go 
for her," Harima suggested.

	The gorillas consulted and decided this was 
reasonable.  The hard part would be getting a forged love 
note into his hands, but they decided to party some more 
and decide on THAT in the morning.

	This was definitely the life, Harima thought.  And if 
all goes well, I'll be able to show I'm not a monkey!  Then 
Tenma will...

	But she wouldn't.  She loved Karasuma.

	He decided to drink until he forgot that.

	Instead, he forgot how to stand up first.

**************

	Eri was about to shoot herself a deer when it suddenly 
hit her that she had no idea how to skin it or prepare it 
properly or to preserve it so she didn't end up wasting most 
of it.  She sighed and instead dismounted, started a fire, and 
tried to brew herself some coffee like she'd seen in some 
old movies.

	The result was nasty beyond human belief; she ended 
up with a hideous sludge; even her sandwiches couldn't get 
the nasty taste out.  She looked around and sighed.

	She was lost.  She didn't know how to find Harima or 
if he was even anywhere nearby.  And now this crazy 
police inspector was after her.  But at least he'd never find 
her here.  Not lost in the wilderness to the point where she 
didn't know her location.

	"AHAH!  THERE IS LUPIN!"

	Eri cursed and vaulted into the saddle and rode.  
STUPID POLICE.
	
***************

	Dinner had gone missing.

	It looked like rain.

	The wind was blowing coldly.

	And Sara was all out of gum.

	She just couldn't take it any more.  There was 
something, something in the darkness... waiting... 
watching... mooching food...  Not a demon; she couldn't 
sense it.  Or one too mighty for her.

	And then there was the sound of a helicopter.  She got 
out her phone and rang Asou up.  "Asou-kun, is that you?"

	"It's hard to see down there.  Are you near a 
campfire?"

	"Yes," Sara said, peering up at the dark sky.

	"We're coming down."

	The chopper soon landed, and Asou, Satsuki, Suga, 
and Itoko piled out.  "Are you okay?" Asou asked Sara 
urgently.

	"I'm fine, Asou-kun," she said, taking his hands.  
"Thanks for coming."  She felt tremendously relieved, 
smiling at him broadly.  She felt safer with him there.  

	"We should camp; we can search with the chopper 
tomorrow," Itoko said.

	"Something keeps stealing our food," Yakumo said 
worriedly.

	Itoko scanned the darkness.  "We brought food.  Let's 
set up and keep watch, see if we can catch them.  I will 
prepare a perimeter."  She vanished into the darkness.

	Satsuki said, "I'll clobber whatever it is.  Don't worry."  
She peered into the darkness, trying hard to look cool.

	Suga grinned a little.  "Probably tanuki.  They like to 
steal food."

	Sara hoped it was JUST tanuki.  But at least she had 
Asou by her side now.  It was going to be okay.  

**************
		
	Tenma woke up confused on her bed.  "How did I get 
here?"

	Karasuma kneeled by her bed.  "I carried you?"

	She saw him and blushed.  He's been here in my 
bedroom the whole time!  She hoped he hadn't done 
anything perverted.  But she could trust him, right?  He 
wasn't a monkey or some kind of fool who runs off into the 
wilderness and makes Yakumo cry.  She still didn't 
understand that.

	On the other hand, if he didn't try anything 
perverted...that didn't mean he didn't like her like that, did 
it?  Now she was a little worried.

	She sat up, thankfully still clothed.  "Is Akira-chan and 
Nara-kun here yet?"

	"Yes," he said.  "Takano-san is making tea."

	She got off the bed quickly.  "Let's go join them."

	They headed out and hooked up with Akira and Nara; 
to her surprise, she saw Akira was all dressed up in a fancy 
dress; she even had her hair dyed and curled again.  Akira 
brought her tea.  "Here you go."  Nara was in a suit too.

	"I...didn't call you away from a date, did I?" Tenma 
asked nervously, feeling guilty.  
	
	"It probably wouldn't have been a good play, anyway," 
Nara said.

	Tenma cringed, but Akira sat down beside her.  "You 
are more fun than any play," Akira said.

	"I am?"

	"No one freaks out as amusingly as you," Akira said.

	"AKIRA-CHAN!!!!" Tenma protested, flustered as 
her antennae flopped up and down.  Nara laughed softly.

	"Case in point," Akira said.

	Karasuma sat down beside her and took her hand.  She 
froze up, unable to look at him.  He didn't say anything, just 
held her hand.  

	Nara came and sat down facing them.  "Anyone for 
poker?"

	"Oooh, yes," Tenma said.  She loved poker.  "Let me 
get the one yen jar.  And we can plot while we play."

	"Fire bombing," Nara said.  "That's the solution."

	Akira said, "Too blatant."  She produced a deck of 
cards and began to shuffle as Tenma ran for the jar.  "I 
already have a Hanai-destroying plan.  We need but modify 
it for the circumstances..."

***********
	
	There had been no thieves of food, so they'd all gone 
to sleep except for setting some watchmen.  Satsuki and 
Suga would go first, Sara and Asou second, Yakumo and 
Itoko third.  Asou's wristwatch woke him at the right time 
and he rolled over and crawled over to wake Sara.

	She awoke to him on his hands and knees over her and 
blushed, saying, "You're so bold, sempai..."

	Now he turned red and rocked back onto his lower 
legs, kneeling by her.  "It's our watch duty!"

	She looked disappointed, or maybe he imagined it.  
She got up, stretching.  He tried not to stare, not that her 
priestess spirit-hunting uniform didn't conceal everything 
pretty well anyway.

	She leaned over, hugging him, and he clumsily 
embraced her.  And then...

	"Oooooooo....." they heard Satsuki moan.

	They both froze up.

	"Oh yes," Satsuki mumbled.  "Yes...yes..."

	Sara and Asou stared at each other, looking red-faced.  
The moaning and pleasure noises continued, and they both 
trembled.

	Asou was about to speak when Sara gave in to the 
images in her head and pounced.  

	A few minutes later, Suga whispered to Satsuki, 
"They're hiding.  I thought they'd come lecture us or 
something."

	"I think maybe our teasing worked too well," Satsuki 
whispered back.  They had quietly concealed themselves 
behind a tree and had been making noises since they heard 
Asou get up, as a prank.

	They crept over and found Sara and Asou making out 
on the ground; her thick, hard to remove outfit was 
hampering their efforts, but they seemed to be enjoying 
themselves.  Satsuki stared; Suga said, "Well, damn.  
Worked better than I thought."

	Satsuki said, "Well, we really can't let them get ahead 
of us, can we?"

	"No, I think not," Suga said.  

	The noise eventually woke up Itoko and Yakumo.  
Yakumo stared in shock, then turned and stared at the 
ground and tried to not think about Kenji.  Itoko crept over, 
then suddenly pounced on Suga and Satsuki, shouting 
"DEATH!"

	They both screamed loud enough to wake the dead.  
Asou and Sara were only starting to react when Itoko 
pounced on them and noogied them both.  "THIS IS NOT 
WHAT YOU DO ON WATCH DUTY!"

	Yakumo mumbled something.

	Satsuki hurriedly got her shirt back on, feeling 
embarrassed.  They all soon were sitting up, each carefully 
staring into the darkness so no one could see their faces.

	"I am going back to sleep.  If people are making out 
when I wake up, I will have to cull this herd," Itoko said, 
then went and laid back down.  "Also, it's rude to make out 
when Yakumo and I don't have anyone to make out with."

	Suga said, "You could make out with each other," 
before his brain had time to veto the words.  

	He went down with a shoe to the head.

	Sara now felt rather guilty; poor Yakumo, she thought.  
I really should have kept control.  But losing it had felt very 
good.

	She laid down and tried to sleep, but it was hard to do 
so.  

	I hope God won't get angry at us for this, she thought.  
The worry of that kept her awake a long time, but finally, 
she slept.

**************

	Tenma felt somewhat jealous, watching Akira sleep 
with Nara cuddled up to her.  She wanted to ask Karasuma 
to stay with her, but she was afraid he'd say no.  And not 
sure if she knew what to do if he said yes.

	So, instead, she sat on the porch, watching the stars.  
Which were vanishing, she now realized.  "Do you see 
that?" she asked.

	"Storm front coming in," he said.  

	She leaned against him groggily, closing her eyes.  I'll 
just rest here a minute, she thought.  Just...a...minute...

**************

	"They should all just jump each other," Sagano said 
sagely to Yuuki.

	They were up in trees, keeping watch while Lord 
Fuyuki, Tani-sensei, Tae-sensei, and Yuri slept.  Tani-
sensei had Yuri on one side of him and Tae on the other, 
and it reminded Yuuki way too much of her problems with 
Hanai and her rivals.  It was last watch, which meant no 
more sleep for the two of them, much as they wanted it.

	"That sort of thing only ends in tears," Yuuki said 
dolefully.  "As I now know."

	"Oh, buck up," Sagano said.  "You're a Legendary 
Harem-Ninja now.  Men will go crazy for you in this 
outfit," she said, idly flapping her baggy pants.  "Or 
mistake you for MC Hammer, but that's a price to pay for 
sexiness."

	"You always find the stupid side of any situation," 
Yuuki muttered, peering into the darkness.  She felt 
overexposed in her harem ninja outfit; she had to 
symphasize with Yuri, who generally clearly felt the same 
way.  Tae and Sagano both seemed to revel in it; every man 
they encountered couldn't stop staring at them.  Which is 
how they'd replenished their food supplies; they found a 
village, and Tae-sensei and Sagano had done a little sexy 
dance thing and suddenly everyone was willing to donate.  
Everyone male, anyway; a lot of the women looked rather 
resentful.

	"You have a nice body, and this outfit accentuates it.  I 
bet Hanai would bow before you if he saw you like this."  I 
bet Fuyuki would go crazy for me in this outfit, she 
thought.  Lord Fuyuki certainly seemed to enjoy looking at 
her.  She gave him a quick glance as he slept, and smiled.

	Yuuki sighed.  "I can't win.  Not against Gonzales and 
Suou.  They have such nice bodies."

	"We'll just have to find you a potion of bustiness, 
then," Sagano said.

	"Potions generally wear off.  I'd need a necklace or a 
bracer or something permanent," Yuuki said.

	Sagano grinned.  "That's the spirit.  Just pretend this is 
a video game, and you'll enjoy it."

	Yuuki shook her head.  "I can't DIE in a video game."

	"Don't worry," Sagano said.  "Legendary warriors 
always win."

	Except in the stories where they die one by one to 
show the futility of war, Yuuki thought.  Let's hope this 
isn't one of those.

**************

	Eri was woken up by her horse making noises.  She 
uncoiled from her sleeping bag, only to see, to her surprise, 
a group of gorillas trying to creep up on her.  Since when 
did Japan have gorillas, she asked herself.  

	She leaped up onto her horses back and charged, firing 
her rifle over their heads in hopes of scaring them off.  
They turned and ran, howling and hooting.  Once they were 
gone, she doubled back to pack her gear, regretting she had 
no good way to take a bath.  

	Stupid gorillas, she thought.  Probably come to join 
that monkey Harima.  She grimaced.  Where is he?

	It was time to eat a sandwich and start looking.  
	
**************

	Hanai sat, already wearing his backpack, and waited 
for death.  He could feel the savage jungle drums beating, 
the headhunters circling...circling...  He couldn't decide if it 
would be worse if Mikoto got here first, or if...

	Mikoto embraced him from behind, then turned his 
head and kissed him softly.  "Hey," she said softly.  "Ready 
to go?"

	"We're waiting for someone," Hanai mumbled.

	"One of your Dad's students?" Mikoto asked, sitting 
down by him.  "I invited someone, but I don't know if she'll 
come."

	Hanai heard the drums beating faster.  "Miki?" he 
guessed.

	"She wanted to see what it's like, so she's gonna come 
with us for just part of it, then go back to school."

	Hanai felt brain cells committing suicide, one by one.  
I AM SO DEAD, he thought.

	"Does she get here soon?" he finally choked out.

	"She was going to meet us at the train station."

	"Good," Hanai said.  He looked around; his dad was 
nowhere to be found.  "The first exercise is to see if we can 
get to the training ground before Dad does.  So we'd best 
sneak out together and get her, then hop a train before he 
can.  He didn't see you come in, did he?"  This would only 
delay death, but Hanai would take what he could get.

	"No."  She paused.  "He really wants us to do that?"

	"Yes," Hanai lied.  He rose, taking her hand.  "Let's 
go."

	He ran as fast as he could.

	Mr. Hanai watched them run from an upper story 
window, and smiled.  This would teach Hanai not to two-
time, if anything did.  He was going to enjoy this.

************

	Tenma woke up on her living room floor with 
Karasuma asleep next to her.  She could smell food in the 
kitchen; Akira and Nara were cooking.  

	She looked over at Karasuma and smiled.  It felt good 
to have him here with her; she felt much less lonely now.

	She leaned over to kiss his cheek, only to realize Akira 
was watching her.  She froze up, then flipped around and 
rose, saying, "Good morning, Akira-chan!"

	Akira nodded.  "Good morning.  Better wake your 
Prince Charming; breakfast will be ready soon."

	Tenma blushed.  "I feel so naughty, having him stay 
with me."

	"Naughtiness can be fun," Akira said, winking.  

	Tenma turned more red.  

	"We're both lucky to have boyfriends who aren't 
chasing several women at once," Akira said.  "Whatever 
mistakes he may make, just remember he's better than 
Hanai."

	"He won't know what hit him," Tenma said, smiling 
grimly.  Mikoto would be avenged.	
	
**************

	Yakumo stirred the soup carefully, while Sara added 
spices.  "Oh, we are but two helpless young girls making oh 
so tasty food," Satsuki read from the script.

	"Three," Sara whispered.

	"Three helpless young...we're really not helpless 
either," Satsuki pointed out.

	"Don't tell the thieves that!  They aren't supposed to 
notice we're reinforced," Sara said.

	"Won't they wonder where I came from?" Satsuki 
pointed out.

	"Shhh, just read off the script," Sara said.

	Satsuki frowned at her.  So bossy, she thought.  But 
she read. "Oh, we are but two helpless young girls and a 
third girl whose arrival is not suspicious at all making oh so 
tasty food," she said, following with, "Let us hope that 
whatever keeps stealing our food doesn't come back and 
take it.  Oh, look, a shiny coin!  Let's go get it!"  She 
pointed off to where they'd planted a coin.

	The three of them stepped away from the food towards 
the coin.

	Suga, Asou, and Itoko were concealed under a pile of 
fallen leaves and pine-needles nearby.  They watched 
carefully, observing a blur, followed by a tanuki appearing 
by the pot.  He quickly grabbed it and ran off.

	They leaped up and opened fire on him, but he ran into 
the woods with them chasing, the women close behind.  
They lost him in the woods after some running, but a short 
time later, they heard the sound of screaming.  

	Charging forwards, they found the tanuki with several 
others; all rolling around, rubbing their mouths.  They'd 
carefully dosed the food with too much spice and some 
itching powder to make anyone eating it's mouth itch.  And 
lots and lots of laxatives.

	These did their work, and soon, the tanuki weren't 
much use for anything.  

	Itoko looked over at the others.  "They look so pitiful, 
I can't bring myself to shoot."

	"I think that's punishment enough," Sara said, holding 
her nose.

	Satsuki made a face.  "I'm out of here."

	Yakumo felt a little sorry for them.  "They won't try it 
again."

	They all quickly absented themselves, leaving the 
tanuki to struggle with their own bowels.  "I was expecting 
ninjas," Itoko said.

	"Who steal food?" Asou asked dubiously.

	"Ninjas have to eat too," Itoko said.  "Let's get in the 
chopper and go searching."

	They loaded up and headed out.

**************
	
	Everyone was still milling around after the first class 
was supposed to start.  Tani-sensei hadn't appeared; neither 
had Mai or Hanai.  So they were all goofing off.

	Buddha said to Imadori, "The time is now.  The old 
leaders are gone.  It is time for us to move."

	He nodded and strode to the front of the class.  
"Attention, everyone!  Our class representatives have fled 
into exile due to disgracing themselves with 2-D.  Our 
teacher is missing.  We have reverted to the state of 
nature!"

	Half the class listened; the other half ignored him and 
continued gossiping. Many wondered what he was talking 
about.  For that matter, Imadori wondered about some of 
the speech too, but Fuyuki had insisted it was important to 
justify the revolution.

	"In such a time, we must form a new social contract.  
We have no teacher, no class representatives.  In such a 
time, there is only one choice.  We must choose a new 
leader, and I nominate myself for that role.  Do we have a 
second?"

	Buddha raised his hand.  

	"Alright, let all who..." Imadori began.

	Akira rose.  "I nominate myself as Acting Class 
President, in that case.  Do I have a second?"

	Nara's hand shot up.  

	"If I am chosen Acting Class President, I promise first 
period will be dedicated to the study of DOUJIBIRION and 
hentai manga!"

	Many of the men cheered.

	"If I am chosen Acting Class President, I promise we 
will all turn a profit," Akira said.

	A fair number of people cheered, but not as many as 
had cheered for Imadori.  

	"Also, no hentai manga."

	Most of the women cheered loudly.

	"Free pie for everyone!" Imadori shouted.

	"I will make Imadori-san shut up and make us some 
pie," Akira said.

	It was hard to tell which was cheered more.

	"Akira-chan is the best!"  Tenma shouted.

	"We need a new student council rep too," Kozue 
pointed out.

	"I will take Karen as my running mate," Imadori said.  
"To be our Acting Council Rep."

	Karen's eyes widened.  "Me?"

	"No one I trust more," he said confidently.

	She melted at that, then rose, putting on her mask of 
confidence.  "I will do my best if chosen to serve!"

	Wild cheers ensued.

	"I nominate Nara to act as our Acting Council 
Representative," Akira said crisply.

	This did not produce wild cheers, though Fuyuki did 
shout, "Go, Nara-kun!"

	"If elected, I will do my best to ensure the destruction 
of our rivals in 2-D," Nara said.

	That got more cheers.

	"Everyone knows they hate me most of all," Imadori 
said.  "Vote I^2!"

	"You all know how thoroughly I can destroy whatever 
gets in my way," Akira said.  "I can defeat 2-D with ease."

	"Anything you can do, I can do better," Imadori began 
to sing.  "I can do anything better than you."

	Akira sang back, "No, you can't."  While she did her 
best, she couldn't sing as well as Imadori.

	Karen chorused with Imadori, "Yes, I can."

Akira sang back, "No, you can't," now with Nara 
joining her.  They didn't sound as good as I^2 did, however.

Karen and Imadori chorused a second time, "Yes, I 
can."

	"No, you can't." Nara and Akira sang defiantly.

	Imadori and Karen flowed into the second chorus, 
"Anything you can be / I can be greater. / Sooner or later, / 
I'm greater than you."

	Akira went ahead and played along, allowing Imadori 
to sing the whole song, singing back the replies, then said, 
"You do realize you just sang the woman's part of the 
song?"

	Imadori fell over.

	"Doesn't that mean you sang the man's part?" Karen 
asked.

	Akira only fell over in her mind, but didn't know what 
to say.

	"I think it's time to vote," Kozue said.

	The final vote swung in Imadori's favor by three votes, 
cast by various of his girlfriends.  "I AM THE KING!" he 
proclaimed.

	Karen beat out Nara by an even larger margin, leaving 
him to mope and her to pose with Imadori at the front of 
the room, feeling like queen of the world.

	"And now...DOUJIBIRION!!!!" Imadori proclaimed.  
Let the lessons begin.

*************

	"Sorceress Eri is here, armed with a powerful magic 
wand," the gorillas told Harima.  "If we capture her, we 
could use her to lure Lord Harima into a trap."

	He frowned.  He didn't like taking hostages.  That 
wasn't the manly thing to do.  "We will follow her," he told 
them.  "If she's part of his harem, she will lead us to him."

	The gorillas discussed this and decided it sounded 
reasonable, so they gathered their ape force and moved to 
follow the sorceress.

************
	
	Tani-sensei studied the long shimmering curtain of 
light strung through the trees.  "What is this?" he asked.

	"It's a world curtain.  The boundaries of our world are 
thin, and sometimes openings to other worlds like this 
arise," Lord Fuyuki said.  He seemed unaware of Sagano 
staring at him, as she was prone to do.

	Yuri looked at it hopefully.  "Could it take us home?"

	"Maybe.  Or it may open into a hell dimension of pain 
and eternal nothingness where your soul would be slowly 
devoured over a thousand thousand years," Fuyuki said 
nervously.

	Yuri sighed.  She wanted to go home, though having 
more time to spend with Tanisa was nice.  But she'd never 
been into fighting.  Though it seemed strangely easier here.  
"How much further to the capital?"

	"Once we hit the open plains, it will only be a few 
days."

	"I'm in no rush," Sagano said.  "School was boring, 
anyway."

	"Hmm, that reminds me," Tani-sensei said.  "We 
should work on your English; this is an ideal time to 
practice."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Sagano 
howled.  "Nooooooo."

	Tae-sensei nodded.  "A very good idea," she said.  
"Don't you think so, Ms. Yuri?" she asked Yuri, switching 
to English.

	"I...uh, yes," Yuri replied, hoping she remembered 
enough to not make a fool of herself.

	"Very good," Tani-sensei said.  "Let us begin."

	Next time, don't bring any teachers, Sagano thought.  I 
have to remember that.  And bring Fuyuki.  In cabana boy 
outfit.  Yum.  

*************  

	Seeing that Miki had brought Masashiro with her 
drove another nail into Hanai's coffin.  Trying to outrun his 
father with both of them, plus, what if...he decided not to 
think about it.  "It's good to see you," he lied.

	Miki smiled; she and Mashiro had backpacks with 
camping gear.  He hoped they'd thought to bring a tent, 
though it didn't look like it.  Given the weather looked 
rainy...

	"It's good to see you too," Masahiro said.  "Where's 
your father?"

	"It's a race to see if we can beat him there," Hanai 
said.  

	"Oooh, a race.  Let's go, then!"

	"Back on the train; we have to ride out into the 
countryside, then hike from a village," Hanai said.

	Masahiro looked relieved at that.

	Mikoto came over to Miki.  "It'll be lots of fun."

	"I'm very excited," she said, taking Mikoto's hand, 
then said, "I suppose Hanai's father won't want us all to 
have sex."

	Masahiro stared at her.  Mikoto's jaw dropped.  Hanai 
carefully studied a timetable to avoid exploding.  

	She blinked, then said, "I mean, as couples.  I didn't 
mean in a big pile.  Mikoto-chan no ECCHI."

	Mikoto said, "I didn't...I mean..."  She laughed 
nervously.

	"Father will probably insist on you two having sex 
while Mikoto and I remain celibate, just to taunt us," Hanai 
said dolefully.

	"Well, if we win the race, you can have sex before he 
arrives," Miki said.

	"Honey, we should probably not discuss this on a busy 
train platform," Masahiro said dolefully.

	"I suppose not," she said, letting Masahiro urge her 
onto a train.

	Mikoto took Hanai's arm and whispered, "I would like 
to...if we get a chance."

	Deep in his heart, he knew something would go wrong 
and somehow his father and Lala would find the four of 
them naked in a pile at the bottom of a ravine, having been 
blown into it by a hurricane and then they would die, die, 
die.

	But it might be worth it.

**********
	
	Mai was STILL on her bed, staring at the ceiling.  Her 
folks had gone to work; she was depressed and didn't know 
what to do.  

	Someone knocked on the door.  She staggered out to it 
in her pajamas; they were sturdy cotton and were about as 
decent as most of her clothing, even if it meant she had no 
bra.

	It seemed almost like Tougo had her in an embrace, 
kissing her before she got the door more than a few inches 
open.  They staggered back across the living room, 
smooching, then tripped over the low table; he caught her 
and twisted, taking the fall and letting her land on him, not 
letting go of her body or her lips.

	She blushed, pulling her lips back finally.  "Tougo, my 
parents might come home."

	"I don't mind," he said.  "Like you, I am in exile; 
Hanai has abandoned his post and now Imadori and Seta 
rule in our steads.  Let us reaffirm our love before we 
launch our plan to crush the usurpers."

	"I...Tougo...our love?"  She blushed a bit more.  "I 
always, I mean, I wondered..."  She hated the way he could 
make her feel all shaken up, make her come apart.  And 
yet, she could feel herself getting excited from it.

	"There is no reason to hide it now.  We will be like 
Romeo and Juliet," he said.  "Standing against the feud 
with our love and..."

	Recovering a little composure, she said, "Didn't they 
commit suicide?"

	"We will be like them if they DIDN'T take poison," 
Tougo said.

	She laughed and stroked his hair.  "I missed you," she 
said softly.

	"And I," he confessed.  "Let us make love, then plot 
REVENGE MOST DIRE as we lie together," he said.

	She could go for that.  IMADORI running HER class?  
Hanai abandoning the class?  HEADS would roll.

	But first, moaning.

***********
	
	"I'm afraid Mikoto kidnapped him," Mr. Hanai said to 
Lala.  "We're going to have to track them down and rescue 
him."

	Lala grimaced with rage.  "SCUM!  I will CRUSH 
her."

	"Fortunately, I believe I know where they are going."

	"Let's GO!" Lala said, taking off at a sprint. 

	The wrong way.

	Well, this would be an interesting time, Hanai's father 
thought.  The best kind.

************

	Harima peered over the bush.  It looked like the 
gorillas had confused 'sorceress' and 'cowgirl' to him.  And 
the 'wand' was a gun.  She looked so much like his Eri.  He 
winced at the thought.  She wasn't 'his' Eri.  Even if she had 
proclaimed she loved him.  But that was probably just the 
alcohol talking.  

	He crept along after her; thankfully, she wasn't going 
very fast, so it was easy.  He could tell she was suspicious, 
though; she kept looking around suspiciously.

	It did strike him strange there could be doubles of 
himself, Yakumo, and Eri with the same name here.  It had 
to be doubles...how else could the gorillas have gotten the 
idea of them being his harem or even know the three of 
them existed?  But she looked so pretty, just like his...not 
his, like his classmate, Eri.  

	He let his mind drift.  Eri was probably at school with 
everyone right now, and so was Yakumo and Tenma.  And 
Tenma was likely with...with...

	He couldn't bear to think about it, but he couldn't help 
himself.  Karasuma, he thought.  I've lost to that punk.  It 
pissed him off; everything he wanted, Karasuma did better.  
Why did life have to be so unfair?

	Then he saw it, there was a snake; 'Sorceress' Eri's 
horse had trod on it, and now it was about to bite back.  He 
hurled a rock, clocking it in the head, but now she turned to 
look his way.

	He flung himself flat, and held his breath.  Why did I 
do that?  He'd felt instinctively he ought to protect her.  
Even if his...even if Eri the normal Eri was so hard to deal 
with.

	'Sorceress' Eri said, "Who is there?"  She had her rifle 
ready.

	He kept silent, and finally she grunted, turned, and 
rode on.

	He resumed following her, lost in thought.

**********

	Sara sat next to Satsuki in the chopper, feeling she 
ought to say something, but not sure what.  Yakumo was 
obsessively staring out the windows.

	"Before next time, you have to show him how to get 
your hood off," Satsuki finally said.

	Sara blushed, and Suga laughed, elbowing Asou.  
"You two haven't made out much, eh?"

	"I didn't think you two made out at all," Asou said.  

	"No one can resist my sexy charm," Suga said 
confidently.

	"I was bored," Satsuki said.  Suga began noogying her.  
"Okay, maybe he was a little sexy in the moonlight..."

	Suga said to Asou, "So, we were so sexy you two 
couldn't hold back?"

	"Not talking about it," Asou grumbled.

	"It was just kind of...I mean...I've never seen anything 
like that before," Sara said, blushing.

	"You're pretty innocent, then," Suga said.

	"I am a junior nun," Sara pointed out.

	"Your god won't zap Asou or anything, will he?" Suga 
asked.

	"We need warning to get clear in time," Satsuki said.

	"..."  Asou said.

	Sara laughed.  "No, it's fine," she said.  She hoped.  
What were the odds of a lightning strike on the helicopter, 
anyway?

	Lightning crackled nearby, and Itoko frowned.  
"Storm's coming in.  We're gonna have to land and wait it 
out."

	"We can tell ghost stories," Satsuki suggested.

	"I know some good ones about ghosts I fought," Sara 
said.

	"Are they romantic?" Satsuki asked.

	"No romance," Itoko said.  

	"Missing your girlfriend?" Satsuki asked.

	"My...what?" Itoko asked.

	"You and the art teacher do everything together.  I 
kind of assumed she was your woman," Satsuki said.

	"..."  Itoko stared dumbstruck.

	"Congratulations," Suga said.  "I think you're the first 
person to ever boggle her."

	"Youko and I are not lovers," Itoko said.  "Any more 
than Suga and Asou are."

	"You caught us!" Suga said, putting an arm around 
Asou and grinning.

	Sara's eyes crossed at the thought.

	So did Satsuki's.

	"Don't look at me like that!" Asou demanded.

	"We are just good friends," Itoko said.

	"Queen of de Nile..." Satsuki sing-songed.

	Itoko just shook her head.

	"Bored?" Suga asked Satsuki.

	"A little."

	"The fun will come soon enough," Itoko said.  "I'm 
going to land the chopper.  We can break out some 
sandwiches, then try to scare each other."

	"Sounds good to me, Satsuki said.  

***********

	Harima felt bored out of his skull.  It was miserable 
cold and wet; the bushes mostly covered him, but all he 
was doing was to watch 'Sorceress' Eri, who really didn't 
strike him as magical at all, make camp and hide from the 
rain, grumbling.  He couldn't blame her.

	The gorillas weren't happy either, except for the 
sleeping ones.  And they stank in the rain.  All in all, he 
was starting to doubt his plan.

	That was when Harima suddenly heard his own voice 
shout, "GORILLA PUNCHING TIME!"

	Gorillas began flying everywhere.  Harima rose and 
faced himself; the other him wore a red cap, a white 
peasant shirt, and black trousers.  And he moved like hot 
blazing death.  Harima charged him, but all the gorillas 
came down on him from above, having been knocked 
skywards by the other Harima.  

	Said other Harima now sprinted forwards and scooped 
up 'Sorceress' Eri and leaped onto her horse, galloping off 
with her.  

	"Hey, you left her tent!" Harima said feebly as he 
watched the other him ride away.  

	No wonder the gorillas hate him, Harima thought.  
What a violent, smug bastard.  I will BREAK him.

*************
	
	Eri shivered in the arms of whoever was holding her.  
He looked like Harima, but Harima didn't dress like that 
and he had no sunglasses.

	"You okay, Eri?" 'Harima' asked, smiling at her.

	She felt herself melt and squirmed.  "We left my tent," 
she mumbled.  

	"Once we find the curtain back, I'll find us a new tent.  
Ninja Akira will sell us one for inflated prices no doubt," 
'Harima' said.

	"I...is she here?" Eri asked weakly, laying her head on 
his chest and trying to ignore the rain.  

	"She found me after we got scattered," he said.  He 
sighed.  "We'll never find the legendary harem ninjas now.  
Tenma-sama won't be happy."

	"-sama?" she asked.

	"-himesama," 'Harima' said, sighing.  "The Princess."

	Princess?  What's going on, Eri wondered.  Is this a 
dream?

	They galloped through a shimmering curtain of light 
which confused her more.  Ground level aurora borealis 
what?

	"Okay, the harem ninja trail is here," he said.  "Now 
we just have to find Witch Yakumo and the rest of us."

	I am dreaming, Eri thought.  I'm really asleep in my 
tent.  She felt more comfortable realizing this.

	"What happened to your clothing, anyway?" he asked.  
"Did you have to scavenge local clothing?"  He studied her 
gun.  "Interesting wand."

	"Yes," she said, playing along.  "I did.  And the 
weather wasn't so good for it."

	"That's true, you'd freeze your ass off," he said.  "You 
look hot in that outfit, but it's not so good for winter."

	She wondered exactly what he expected her to wear.  
"So...Harima..."

	"LORD Harima.  If I gotta use your title, I get mine," 
he said.

	She laughed softly.  "Lord Ha..."  The picture, she 
thought.  I was a sorceress, Akira was a ninja...it all was 
clear now.  She was dreaming that.  This would be a fun 
diversion from looking for stupid Kenji.  And maybe...he'd 
be more open to her than the real thing was.  Not that she 
wanted the idiot.  But a little dream fling...might feel good.

	It was just a dream, after all.

**************

	"It looks like rain up there," Miki said, frowning.

	"Martial Artists do not fear rain," Hanai said.

	"It's a long ways off, anyway," Masahiro pointed out, 
staring up into the mountains.  My legs are gonna hate me, 
he thought.

	Hanai paused and looked back across the landscape.  
No sign of Father or Lala.  He would live a little longer.  
He reached over and took Mikoto's hand.  Focus on my 
cute girlfriend, he told himself.

	She smiled at him, and he noticed Miki taking 
Masahiro's hand.  He smiled a little at that.  For all his 
mistakes, they'd helped another couple.  That made up for 
some of it, right?  And he'd helped Mikoto get over 
Masahiro.  

	He thought about what they'd done and got a little 
excited.  He forced himself to think responsibly, even 
though he now felt tempted to take this last chance to make 
out with her before death.  His chance would come soon 
enough.  

***************

	Fuyuki pulled Karen aside at the end of the day, along 
with Karasuma.  "Have either of you heard from Sagano-
san or Yuuki-san?  They're both missing, and I'm 
wondering what's wrong."

	"I don't know," Karen said.

	"They've gone to another world," Karasuma said.

	"..."

	"You're joking," Fuyuki said.

	"No," Karasuma said.  "With Tani-sensei and Tae-
sensei."

	"..."  Karen stared.

	"Shouldn't we do something to get them back?" 
Fuyuki asked.

	"Not yet," Karasuma said calmly.

	Fuyuki felt his nerves jangling.  "You'd do something 
if Tenma was in trouble!"

	"Yes," Karasuma admitted.

	"Please, we have to do something," Karen said.  
"Assuming you're not joking," she said unsteadily.

	"I am not joking.  But the time is not yet right," 
Karasuma said.  

	"I'm not letting you go until you help us!" Fuyuki said, 
grabbing Karasuma's wrist.

	He looked curiously at the hand, then said, "I'm going 
to have a hard time playing guitar if you hold my wrist."

	"Stuff the music!  Sagano is in danger!"

	"I don't think SHE is the one in trouble..."

**************

	Sagano rolled between two howling creatures who 
looked like sculpted hedges gone berserk; she grabbed one 
with each hand and tossed them skywards towards a tree.  
Tae's blades flashed and the creatures came apart into bits 
of shrubbery.  Another battle was over.  

	"WE WIN AGAIN!" Sagano said.  "I can feel the 
XP!"

	Tani-sensei laughed.  Yuri looked confused.  Yuuki 
said, "I don't think we're being given metaphysical XP."

	"That sounds like the stuff Lord Karasuma talks about 
when he's being confusing," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"So, all the time, then?" Sagano asked, coming over to 
pose in front of him.  Not that she was using him as a 
stand-in for the real thing or anything.

	He laughed.

	Yuri sighed.  "Too much fighting."  Even if it was a 
little exciting, fighting was bad.  She leaned against Tani-
sensei, who put an arm around her.  She smiled at that.  

	Tae-sensei leaped down to land by them.  She 
whispered something to Tani-sensei which made his eyes 
widen and his grip on Yuri tighten just a little.  Then she 
came over to Yuri and said, "Well, we should probably take 
a break in our travels.  It's about time to eat anyway."  To 
Yuri, she said, "You look tense.  Want a massage?"

	"Sure," Yuri said.

	They made camp; it was Sagano and Yuuki's turn to 
cook.  Lord Fuyuki helped them in order to hopefully 
counteract Sagano's cooking somewhat.

	Yuri found a nice patch of grass to lay down on; Tae 
had Tani lie down beside her.  Then she leaned over Yuri 
and began massaging her.  "Try not to get dirty thoughts," 
she said to Tani.  His eyes widened and he carefully turned 
his head to watch a pinecone.

	Yuri said, "..."

	"We must set a good example for the children," Tae-
sensei said, then laughed softly.

	"In harem pants and scanty, breast-emphasizing tops?" 
Yuri asked dubiously.

	"We are...well, Tani-san and I are teachers, anyway," 
Tae-sensei said.  

	Yuri winced a little at that, wondering again how close 
those two were.  

	"And we're all adults," Tae-sensei said.  "Even if I 
don't always act like it."

	"You generally seem very mature to me," Tani-sensei 
said, making Yuri feel a little jealous.

	Despite her worries, though, her back was starting to 
feel better; Tae-sensei was a good massager.  She gave a 
happy little cry as the tension she hadn't even realized she 
had finally eased.

	"No naughtiness," Sagano shouted, then laughed.

	Yuri blushed from embarrassment.  Tae-sensei 
shouted, "I will try not to make you listen to our sweet 
love!"

	Yuri said, "Tae-san!!!!!"

	Tani-sensei laughed softly.  "Don't tease her, Tae-san."

	"I bet we could make Tani-san die of embarrassment if 
we tried," Tae-sensei said, laughing softly.

	"Tae-san!!!" Yuri protested.

	"Ahahaha," Tani-sensei laughed nervously.

	Tae-sensei said, softly, "Okay, I'm done.  Your turn, 
Tani-san.  Unless Yuri-san wants to try?"

	Yuri said, "I'm not so good at massage."

	"Well, get up and I'll show you," Tae-sensei said.

	Soon, Yuri was kneeling next to Tani-sensei, kneading 
his back through his flimsy vest, Tae's hands resting on 
Yuri's hands and guiding them, her body pressed to Yuri 
from behind.  Yuri was feeling extremely embarrassed and 
was so glad no one else could see them.  But Tanisa 
seemed to be enjoying it.

	"I'm a lucky man," he mumbled, wiggling at the 
touches.

	Yuri felt her nervousness gradually turning into a 
pleasant excitement.  She'd daydreamed about something 
like this in high school, but never gotten her chance.  
Hadn't she always wanted some chance for them to go off 
away together?  Really, this wasn't so bad.  It was nice, 
even, touching his back, feeling his muscles, listening to 
Sagano whisper....wait.

	She looked over and saw Sagano, Yuuki, and Lord 
Fuyuki spying on the three of them.  Lord Fuyuki was 
whispering, "I say they have sex in ten minutes."

	"Five," Sagano whispered.

	"I say they kill us in four," Yuuki whispered.

	And then, with a great whiz-bang, the cook pot boiled 
over, flinging the lid into a tree and sending the smell of 
venison and corn through the air.  Along with a few 
kernels.

	"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Sagano yelled, 
charging at the pot.  "Bad pot!  Be good!"

	Tani-sensei lept up and ran over to help, leaving Yuri 
and Tae disappointed.  "I should help," Yuri said.

	"They've got it," Tae-sensei said.  "Lie down and I'll 
massage you some more."

	Yuri laid down and drowsed as Tani-sensei, Yuuki, 
and Sagano spazzed around the cookpot, trying to figure 
out how to 'turn the heat down' when you're using a bonfire 
and Lord Fuyuki began sketching them.  I have to look on 
the bright side, Yuri thought.  We're making some good 
memories for the future.  

	"FROST BLADE!" Sagano yelled, striking the pot 
with a blade of ice and cold.  It shattered, dousing her, 
Yuuki, and Tani-sensei with hot stew.  
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

	Tae-sensei rose.  "Time to get to work."

	So, not EVERY memory would be good...

***********

	"I am the ghost...OF YOUR CAT!" Satsuki shouted.

	No one got scared, although Yakumo did start and fall 
off her seat.

	Satsuki frowned.  "You're supposed to get scared."

	"I could tell the rabbit head story," Itoko mused.

	Yakumo, as she got into her chair, said, "Please, no."

	"Rabbit head?" Suga asked curiously.

	"I was out hiking..." Itoko began.

	"No!  No rabbit head story!" Sara said urgently.

	"But now I'm curious," Suga said.

	Itoko whispered into his ear.  He steadily turned green, 
then fell over.

	Asou, having caught the word 'maggot', decided he 
didn't want to know.  "I know one."

	"Oooh, tell us," Satsuki said.

	"A young man is at home on a rainy night," Asou said.  
"His parents have gone to Hokkaido and won't be back for 
a week, but he has school, so he must stay.  Yet, he doesn't 
know anyone in the building and it's too nasty to visit a 
friend."  His voice was dropping steadily to a whisper.

	"So he sits and watches the rain fall as he tries to do 
homework.  He listens to the radio, which is talking about 
the trenchcoat killer's latest victim, a young student who 
stayed too long in the library, studying, and died on the 
way home.  And then he sees it..."

	"A ghost?" Satsuki asked.

	Sara leaned closer.

	"There is a flash of lightning and he sees a man in a 
trenchcoat.  The darkness blinds him again and when vision 
returns, the man is gone and the power has gone out," Asou 
said.

	Satsuki shivered.  Itoko smiled a little.  Sara gripped 
Asou tightly.

	Suga grinned; he knew this one.

	"And then he hears it, footsteps in the hallway.  
Someone is coming up the stairs.  Step.  Step.  Step.  And 
then silence," Asou said.

	"Nervously, the young man rises.  He goes and gets a 
knife from the kitchen, just in case.  And then the footsteps 
start, run a little, then stop.  Over and over."

	Asou took a deep breath.  "Closer, ever closer, as the 
rain pours down and the man...draws...close."

	"Finally, there is a knock at the door.  The young man 
is ready, he opens the door, and he finds..."

	He let the silence percolate in their brains.  Satsuki 
was clinging to Suga, though she looked as amused as 
scared.  Sara hid her face in Asou's chest.  Yakumo's eyes 
were wide.  Itoko had her hand over her mouth.

	"It's his teacher, with the test he forgot to hand back in 
class.  And he got...."

	Silence.

	"AN F!  HE FAILED!" Asou shouted.

	Satsuki instinctively started, then said, "What, THAT 
IS IT?"  She looked aggravated.

	"EEEE!!!!   A failing grade!" Sara shouted.

	Itoko began laughing.

	"That was awful," Sara said, cuddling up to Asou as 
her nerves relaxed.

	Satsuki frowned.  Going to have to top that.  Hmm...

************

	"How do you know where they're going to go?" Lala 
asked Mr. Hanai as they began trekking into the 
countryside.  He seemed very confident.

	"I overheard her evil plans," he said.  

	She looked at the distant storm.  "Is this going to be 
safe?"

	"It'll blow over by the time we catch up," he said.  
"And if not, we're tough."

	Lala nodded.  She couldn't stand to look weak in front 
of an old man.  "Then let's keep going."

**********

	Mikoto said, "Hmmm," as they walked along through 
the woods.

	"Is that a 'time to camp for the night before Miki dies' 
hmm?" Miki asked hopefully.  She was getting tired from 
her pack.

	"We need to press on further so the hard climb 
tomorrow will be less long," Hanai said.  And so they can't 
catch up to us tonight.

	Miki groaned.

	They finally stopped when Miki simply fell down out 
of exhaustion.  Masahiro and Hanai set up the tents, while 
Miki laid around and Mikoto set up some cooking gear and 
got water.  Once Miki recovered, she said, "Any way to set 
up the tents together so we can sleep under one roof?"

	Masahiro's eyes widened a little.

	"In case bears or something show up," Miki said 
quickly.

	"We'll see if we can figure out something," Hanai said; 
he and Masahiro began fiddling with the tents.  

	Miki and Mikoto began cooking some dinner; Miki 
steadily recovered her strength.  Mikoto wondered if she'd 
been faking earlier.  "You guys gonna show us any of your 
fancy moves tonight?" Miki asked.

	Mikoto smiled.  "Yes, we can do that."  She started 
thinking about cool martial arts moves she could show off. 

	"Cool," Miki said, sounding a little nervous.

	Masahiro and Hanai finished connecting the tents.  
"Let's hope for no rain," Masahiro said.

	"I think it's going to blow off away from us," Hanai 
said.  Or so he hoped, anyway.  

	His phone rang.  He answered it nervously.  "Hello?"

	Akira began laughing at him, so he hung up.  What 
was THAT?

	The universe gave him no answer.

************

	"And then the blood ran out of his boot," Suga said.  
"And he realized...he was already dead."

	Satsuki screamed, while Sara squealed.  Yakumo 
looked on a little jealously, watching them snuggled up to 
their boyfriends.  Which was really the point of this sort of 
exercise.  

	She wished Harima was here.  She missed him 
terribly.  He was probably in some kind of trouble, all alone 
and friendless.  She hoped he would find someone to stand 
by his side.  Everyone needs friends.

************

	Harima stared dubiously at the glowing field.  "Is this 
an electric fence?"

	"It returns to our world," the gorillas told him.  "We 
must pursue him there."

	Maybe I'm just dreaming this, Harima thought.  Some 
giant hallucination.  On the other hand, there clearly was 
someone who looked like his evil twin...And the guy had a 
goatee.  It suddenly hit him that evil twins from other 
universes always had a goatee.  

	No wonder I had such hard luck with Tenma, he 
thought.  She mistook me for an evil twin when I had the 
beard!

	But it didn't matter now, did it?  He had to move on, to 
forget about her, find someone else.  But who?  Could there 
be anyone else?  

	He shook his head, not wanting to go around thinking 
about Eri and Yakumo right now.  Not when he could be 
punching someone.  Maybe I should just go to this 
universe, get rid of my evil twin and stay there, he thought.  
It might be easier to start over.

	But he didn't like the idea of never seeing his friends 
again.  And Eri would find him and kill him, no doubt.  
Knowing what she was like.

	He kind of missed her.  And Yakumo too.  

	Harima shook his head.  NO MONKEY THOUGHTS, 
he told himself.  If I do move on, I can't chase two women 
at once.  Not like my evil twin does.

	"Alright, let's try this," he said, and charged through 
with the gorillas.

	The other side looked fairly similar; lots of forest and 
hills.  Except many of the trees were odd colors and there 
were a lot of fresh tracks.  "Here we go," he said.  "Let's get 
the monkey!"

	"CRUSH LORD HARIMA!" the gorillas chanted, and 
they began to hustle through the woods.

************		
	
	Lord Harima yawned.  "We should get some sleep," 
he said, "And try and catch up tomorrow."

	"Do you have a tent?" she asked, knowing he couldn't 
have one.

	"Naah," he said.  "Can't you just magic one up?"

	"It's not as easy as saying Zim Zim Zalabim, Give Me 
a Tent, you know," she said.

	There was a flash of light and a two man tent 
appeared.

	He looked at the tent, then at her.

	"Shut up," she grumbled, but as she dismounted, she 
looked curious.  "Zim Zim Zalabim, Give Me a Steak 
Dinner For Two," she said and pointed.  

	A table appeared with the food.  Lord Harima drooled.  
"Perfect," he said.

	They sat down and ate; it was very tasty.  "So how did 
we all get scattered?" she asked.  I'd better get up to speed 
on the dream's plot, she thought.  And see what else I can 
conjure.  

	"Ninja horde.  Your family's old ninjas who deserted 
them," he said.  

	History repeats itself, she thought, as she sipped her 
wine.  

	"We all got scattered across the area, so I went to track 
you down," he said.

	She felt a little flattered at that.  "Well, you found me," 
she said, studying him, wondering how he felt about 
everyone. Was he as big an idiot as the real Harima?

	"Tenma-sama will be pleased," he said.  "Maybe I'll 
finally get a kiss."

	He's as big an idiot as the real thing, she realized.  
Dammit, can't I at least dream about a Harima who wants 
ME?  She felt embarrassed at the thought.  But she had to 
face it.  She wanted him for herself.  

	She wasn't going to sit back and let Yakumo have him.  
Not in a dream, not in reality.  And he would give up on 
Tenma if it killed her.

	Eri played to win or not at all.

************

	Mikoto aimed for Hanai's legs, but he jumped over the 
sweeping kick and kicked Mikoto in the chest, knocking 
her over.  Then he dove at her, going for a grapple, but she 
rolled to one side, then helped him slam into the ground.  

	Miki cheered and Masahiro applauded; they sat on a 
large tree root nearby, watching.

	As she went for the grapple, he rose and flipped her 
away, then charged at her, aiming a mighty punch at her 
right breast.  She managed to block the blow, turning and 
hitting him with a roundhouse kick.  As he fell back, he 
seized her foot and rolled, flipping her over him.

	She rebounded off a tree and nailed him in the back as 
he got up.  They rolled around on the ground for a while, 
grappling for advantage.  She finally managed to pin his 
arms, and kneeled over him, smiling.  She leaned down and 
kissed him softly.  

	Miki applauded.  "That's so romantic!"

	A fistfight is romantic?  Masahiro laughed a little.  
"Don't expect me to fight you," he said to Miki.

	She pounced on him and began to grapple him.  
"Fight!  Fight!"

	Mikoto and Hanai both laughed as they watched the 
two grapple clumsily.  Masahiro finally emerged as the 
victor.  "I win.  Do I get a prize?"

	She kissed him without speaking, and Mikoto turned 
to Hanai and began to kiss him.  Soon, both couples were 
quite busy making out.


*************

	Satsuki was half-asleep, leaning against Suga, even as 
Itoko said, "And then, rising from the depth of the filing 
cabinet came...the mid-semester paperwork!  It would not 
be sated until every line was filled out, even though NO 
ONE would EVER read it!"

	Sara shrieked enthusiastically, while Asou wondered 
how that was supposed to scare anyone.  Suga, half-asleep, 
slumped against the wall of the helicopter.  "Oh no," he 
mumbled.

	Yakumo was staring out the window again, and she 
saw something...flashes of gold and deep moving shadows 
and... It looked like Eri being chased by something.  For a 
moment, she was tempted to let the things have her, but her 
conscience prevailed.  "Hey, is that Sawachika-sempai?"

	Itoko blinked and turned and peered.  "It looks like her 
in a very skanky gold dress.  Being chased by ninjas."

	Sara sprang to her feet, drawing the tranq guns she'd 
gotten from the helicopter's armory box.  The holy pistols 
weren't supposed to be used on people, but these...were just 
fine.

	Asou picked up the staff he'd taken from the box, 
sighing.  "Ninjas.  So ridiculous."

	"Ninjas?" Satsuki said.  "Kickass."  She began rooting 
around for weapons while Itoko took her pistols and Suga 
grabbed a rifle.  

	A hail of gunfire caused Ninjas to start rapidly turning 
to dust.  This took enough pressure off skankily-dressed Eri 
for her to turn and chant, "Creo Ignem!"  Fire rushed from 
her hands, consuming a half-dozen ninjas, who screamed 
and burned away into dust, just like the shot ones.  The dust 
then quickly blew away.

	Yakumo vaulted into the middle of the ninjas and 
began laying about with her staff; every blow made a ninja 
evaporate.  They seemed remarkably flimsy.  As they 
turned to dust, a number would form in the dust, just 
briefly, usually '80'.  

	"Is this the 80 gang or something?" she asked Eri.

	Eri stared at her.  "You're oddly dressed today, Witch 
Yakumo."  She pointed at two onrushing ninjas.  "Creo 
Aqua!"  A bolt of water blew them off their feet, after 
which Sara shot them both simultaneously.  They fell over, 
unconscious.

	Satsuki ran laughing through the ninja ranks, knee-
capping them with a baseball bat, after which Suga would 
stab them as they fell, dusting them.  "Die, ninjas, die!"

	Itoko felt confused but didn't show it, cooly blowing 
away ninjas into dust with her guns, while Asou blazed 
away as well.  All the ninjas kept dusting except the ones 
Sara shot.

	"I'm oddly dressed?" Yakumo said.  She looked at 
herself; her t-shirt and jeans seemed quite normal to her.  
"Some might think you dressed oddly."  Also, when had 
Sawachika-sempai started casting spells?	

	"Muto Terram."  Eri gestured and the ground turned to 
quicksand under four more ninjas, who sank into it.  

	Yakumo saw three more ninjas rushing at her like 
lemmings.  Curiously, she gestured as Eri had and said, 
"Creo Ignem."  Fire rushed from her hands, not so potently 
as Eri's, charring one of them.  She felt a little drained.  She 
beat a second in the stomach, knocking him into the third, 
then rapped both their skulls and they dusted.  

	"Hey, stop stealing my schtick!  Use your own 
abilities," Eri said irritably.

	"Stop hitting on MY boyfriend," Yakumo said, 
rapping the ground with her staff for emphasis.

	"YOUR boyfriend?  He's MY man," Eri said, turning 
to face her.  

	Yakumo tapped Eri's chest with her staff.  "Just back 
off from and stop confusing him with your kisses."

	Five ninjas charged at them.  Asou downed two; Sara 
took two, Itoko shot one.

	"We don't have time for a fight among ourselves!" 
Itoko shouted.

	Eri's hands crackled with electricity.  "He likes MY 
kisses.  When has he ever kissed you?"

	"All the time," Yakumo said defiantly.  To her 
surprise, she could see glimpses of thought around Eri, 
which confused her tremendously; much of it seemed to be 
flashes of magical spells, and the rest...well, how was she 
seeing it?  Unless Eri secretly loved her...no way.

	More ninjas rushed them in a line, only to have 
Satsuki run down the line, kneecapping them, followed by 
Suga dusting them.  "Come on, there's a billion ninjas, we 
have to get out of here!"

	"And I don't have to dress like a cheap floozy to get 
them either," Yakumo said, surprising herself with her 
anger.

	"Stop arguing and get to the chopper or I'll have Sara 
tranq you!" Itoko shouted.

	They both ran for the chopper, resolving to resolve 
this later.

**************
	
	Lala huddled grumpily in a tent as rain poured down.  
"We should press on."

	"If you want pneumonia, maybe," Mr. Hanai said, 
lying on his back, staring up at the roof of the tent.  "So 
what do you see in him, anyway?"

	"What?" she asked, in confusion.

	"My son.  I'm curious as to how he aroused so much 
passion in you.  You two been doing it?"

	Lala blushed.  "No.  All we've done is kiss."  And 
grope a little.

	"Is he good?"

	"He's the only man I've ever kissed," she said a little 
wistfully, slowly untangling herself to lie down on her side, 
facing Mr. Hanai.  "He is brave, honest, hard-working, 
intelligent, and honorable.  Not a man who will waste his 
life in alcohol and despair."  She grimaced at the latter 
sentence.

	Mr. Hanai frowned at that, then said, "He's always 
struck me as a lazy goof-off.  Mikoto-chan and I had to 
push him all his life to get him to do anything himself."

	"Then you may see him as he was as a child, but not 
as he is now," Lala said angrily.  "He is a better man than 
that."

	"You sound like you think he's perfect," Mr. Hanai 
said thoughtfully.

	"He is too kind for his own good," Lala said.  "He 
doesn't know how to say no to people.  So they exploit him.  
But I can protect him from that."

	"You really like him," Mr. Hanai said softly.

	"Of course I do!  I wouldn't be out here just for a 
chance to punch Suou in the face."  Beat.  "Mind you, it 
doesn't hurt to have that as an added incentive."

	Mr. Hanai laughed softly and wondered if he had 
handled this wisely.  He soon dismissed the thought, not 
being the sort to second-guess himself.  He'd just have to 
ride this storm to the end of the line.

**************
	
	Sorceress Eri looked around in confusion.  She'd 
feared she'd passed through one of the world-curtains and 
this definitely confirmed it.  This wasn't the real Witch 
Yakumo, but apparently she and her Eri were fighting over 
some man in this world as well.  She wondered, idly, which 
one had the upper hand.

	The giant flying insect they were inside was rather 
impressive.  It must be some sort of golem; too solid and 
dry to be organic.  However, it couldn't fly well in this 
weather, so she was doing a lot of shaking.  Her magic 
ensured she didn't flop out of her clothing, thankfully.  It 
was the essential problem of being a sorceress--the less 
clothing you wore, the more potent your spells, but if you 
wore too little, it became socially embarrassing and hard to 
keep on.

	"We're going to have to find somewhere to land," 
Itoko said.  "So we don't crash."  Sorceress Eri was grateful 
she was as sensible in this world as in Sorceress Eri's own.  

	She began making for the ground, as lightning flashed 
around them.  And then lightning hit the chopper, and the 
ground rose up and strange shimmering lights took them, 
and then the darkness.

***************

	Eri couldn't decide whether to conjure another tent 
(more proper) or sleep in the same one with Lord Harima 
(more likely to give him crazy ideas, but also safer if ninjas 
showed up).  After some thought, she finally decided to go 
with the single tent.  She could always turn him into a frog 
if she had to.

	And he was kind of cute.  

	But she wasn't going to think about that or the real 
Harima.  Though if it was a dream, it really didn't matter 
what she did, did it?  But then, this one was probably 
stupidly obsessed with Tenma.

	She decided to be blunt.  "Are you still obsessed with 
Tenma?"

	He made a warding gesture in panic.  "I..what?  No, of 
course not.  I just think Karasuma is EVIL!"

	Even in my dreams, he's obssessed with Tenma.  "So 
what do you see in her, anyway?"

	"I...I'm not interested in her," he said frantically.  
"What gives you that idea?"  He was vibrating.

	"My magic read your mind."

	He wilted.  "Doesn't she just make you want to protect 
her and keep her safe?" he asked weakly.

	She could see that.  If you took care of her and held 
her back when she was foolish, she showered you with 
affection.  Eri had to admit she liked being Tenma's friend; 
for all her foolishness, she loved her friends deeply.  "Yes, 
but it doesn't seem enough.  I mean, she's so childish.  
Don't you want someone more sophisticated?"  

	"I'm not very sophisticated," he said.  "A good heart's 
better than sophistication."

	She frowned at that.  "And she looks like a kid."

	"We're all still growing," he said.  "But I don't love her 
for her looks."

	That could possibly be taken as encouraging if you 
bent it around a little.  "But she loves Karasuma."

	"He is EVIL!" Lord Harima pronounced.

	"He's just a weirdo," Eri said, leaning towards Lord 
Harima a little.  "You have to accept that she loves him, or 
you'll go crazy."

	He grimaced.  "I can't just accept that."

	Eri sighed, and rose, stretching.  "Time to sleep," she 
said, sighing.  "What will you do if it's clear she loves him 
and won't ever love you?"

	"I'll probably go south and punch gorillas until I die," 
he said.

	That's Harima, alright, she thought.  "Goodnight, I'm 
going to bed."

	"Goodnight.  Gonna watch the stars for a while."

	He was still up when she fell asleep.

************
		
	The making out hadn't actually gotten very far when 
Mother Nature cut in with a downpour.  Soon, all four were 
soaked and had to retreat inside the tent.  It was cold, and 
they were all wet.

	"We're going to have to strip, try to dry ourselves, and 
put on dry clothing," Hanai said.

	Masahiro's eyes widened.  "Strip?"

	"Don't be silly," Miki said.  "We have been naked in 
front of them.  And vice versa."

	"I wasn't looking at THEM," Masahiro said.

	"It's going to be crowded and difficult," Hanai said, 
"But we'll have to do it, or we'll likely get sick."

	What followed was rather like a half-naked game of 
Twister, with people bending and twisting about, trying to 
get clothing off and to dry off and change into dryer 
clothing, with legs and arms tangling all around each other 
as everyone became steadily more embarrassed.

	By the end of it, everyone was in an extreme state of 
self-consciousness.  They all wanted to make out, but no 
one could quite muster the will to be the person to start it.  
But they couldn't sleep in this worked up state, either.

	Instead, they laid there and pretended to sleep, until, 
finally, Miki said, "Masahiro-kun..."

	"Yes, dear?"

	"Make out with me NOW before I go crazy."

	"We're three inches away from people!" he protested.

	"They've seen us naked," Miki said.  "At this point, we 
really shouldn't be embarrassed around them, even if 
they're sexier than we are."

	"No, no, you're both very sexy," Mikoto said, trying to 
be reassuring.  

	"What if they find us while we're doing that?" Hanai 
said.  

	"It's our best chance before we're chaperoned," Miki 
said.  "You're up for it, aren't you, Mikoto-san?"

	"Of course," she said.  It was their best chance and she 
wasn't going to show fear in front of Masahiro.  "Come on, 
loverboy," she said to Hanai.

	Hanai's brain clicked through his options, and decided 
that since he was a walking dead man, he need not fear 
consequences.  If all options lead to DEATH, why fear the 
Reaper?  He reached for the bottom of her shirt.  "Your 
wish is my command, lady," he said, rolling them around to 
lurk on top of her.  In the process, he smacked Miki down 
onto Masahiro with Mikoto's butt.

	It was not the world's most comfortable session.  
People kept getting elbowed, kicked, smacked with 
someone else's butt, and poked.  Miki, the least nimble of 
the four, got hit the most.  They soldiered on, however, 
gradually shedding layers of clothing, glasses, shoes, socks, 
jewelry, etc.

	Naturally, it was just as everyone was mostly naked 
and very happy that Hanai's phone rang.  "Don't answer it," 
Mikoto said.

	He turned his phone off.  Mikoto's phone rang.  She 
turned hers off.  

	Miki's phone rang.  She hesitated.  "Maybe it's 
important," she said.

	"Answer it," Masahiro said, worried.

	She answered it.  "Hello?"

	"Hi, this is Mikoto's mother," Mikoto's mother said.  
"Is she asleep already?"

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki lied.  "We're all okay."

	"Is she eating enough?"

	Miki looked at Mikoto kissing Hanai's chest.  "Yes, 
ma'am."

	"Getting enough exercise?"

	She studied how their legs were moving, wondering 
how they could bend them like that.  "Yes, ma'am."

	"She's not sleeping with her boyfriend again, is she?"  
Mikoto's mother sounded worried.

	"She's right here with me," Miki said; it was 
technically true.  "But asleep."  Not true.

	"He's a good boy, but they're too young for that, 
really."  Mikoto's mother shook her head sadly.

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki said dutifully.  They clearly didn't 
get the sexiness from their parents, she thought.

	"Anyway, you should go to bed, get some rest.  I 
know college students like to party all night, but it's good 
for you."

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki said, nodding.  She'd long 
mastered the art of agreeing until someone went away.  It 
was harder when Masahiro was fondling her chest, mind 
you.  She moaned just a little.

	"What was that?"

	"Banged my foot," she said quickly.  "Anything I need 
to tell her in the morning?"

	Mikoto covered her own mouth to avoid moaning 
herself.

	"Just make sure she takes care of herself, okay?"

	"I will.  Goodnight."  She hung up and turned it off.  
"Your mother says to take care of yourself, Mikoto-san."

	"It's more fun if Hanai takes care of myself," Mikoto 
said, laughing nervously.  She could hardly believe she was 
doing this.  But she wanted him so badly and really, they'd 
done it once like this, so it didn't matter, right?

	They got back down to business, and eventually, much 
later, slept.

*************

	Harima awoke when a gorilla shook him.  "Harima-
sama," the gorilla said.  "Lord Harima has gone into the 
tent with his harem member."

	Harima vibrated.  The monkey was trying to seduce 
Eri!  He couldn't tolerate that.  A dim, groggy part of his 
mind tried and failed to remind him this wasn't 'his' Eri.

	"TIME TO KILL!"  As he thought about it, he wasn't 
even sure why he'd waited so long to strike.

	Gorillas, led by Harima, charged over the slope and 
down towards the tent.  As he charged, the tent opened and 
Lord Harima came out.  "GORILLA-PUNCHING TIME!" 
he shouted excitedly.  Then he saw Harima and stared in 
surprise.

	This gave Harima just enough time to punch Lord 
Harima up into the trees, kick the tent over, and scoop the 
Eri he found into his arms.  She stared at him in groggy 
confusion.

	"Harima?"  She looked at him closely, touching his 
face.  "Is that you?"

	"I'll get you away from my evil twin!" Harima said.

	"You're the evil twin!" Lord Harima shouted.  
"Beardless duplicates are always evil!"

	"BEARDED duplicates!" Harima shouted.

	The gorillas rushed at Lord Harima, who began 
punching them into trees, the ground, and the sky.  "BOW 
TO ME, APES!"

	Eri groggily asked, "Have you come to take me away 
from all this?"

	"Yes," he said.  "I won't let this evil twin hurt you."  
As he woke up, it began to sink in that she really seemed 
like his Eri, except nicer.  Maybe our universe has the evil 
duplicate, he thought.  But neither Eri has a beard...  
Harima wasn't sure what the standard was for women.

	And then it hit him.  Unless it was a beach movie, the 
woman wearing the least clothing was usually the most 
evil.  But what about the...no, beaches don't count.  He 
began analyzing how much clothing she wore.  Pretty 
modest, really.  So this had to be a good Eri.  And his 
Eri...his world's Eri...  "Are you Eri the sorceress or are you 
Eri the high school student?"

	"High school student," Eri mumbled, starting to wake 
more.  "But also a sorceress."

	The gorillas were being mowed down; Harima was 
impressed.  But it meant he was likely next.  

	"Harima, what are you doing in my dream?" she asked 
him.  "Oh wait, I must be dreaming of you...in which case, 
I want you to kiss me."

	"What kind of crazy logic is that?" Harima said, 
panicking.

	"You must kiss me to wake me up," Eri said.

	More gorillas fell.  "STRIKE IN OUR AID!" one of 
them begged.

	"I have to fight my evil twin," Harima said, starting to 
put her down.

	"I AM SICK OF STUPID EXCUSES."

	"Well, uh..."  He leaned a little closer to her, but any 
possible kissing was interrupted by him being punched in 
the face so hard that he flew into a tree.

	"Don't hurt him!  He's a friend!" Eri shouted to Lord 
Harima.

	"He's my evil beardless duplicate!" Lord Harima 
shouted.  "NOW, HE DIES!"

	He and Harima charged at each other and their fists 
met.  The shockwave levelled trees and knocked all three 
unconscious.

*************  

	Sagano and Yuuki went to wake up Tae and Tani, who 
had the next watch (Lord Fuyuki and Yuri had taken the 
first watch.)  They found Tae sprawled across Tani and 
Yuri, her head resting on Yuri's shoulders.  

	"Man, two girlfriends at once.  Imadori would be 
jealous," Sagano said.

	Yuuki irritably picked up a rock and tossed it at Tani-
sensei's head.  "Watch time."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tani-sensei snapped, waking 
up, rubbing his head.  He moved and Tae rolled, her face 
ending up in Yuri's butt as Yuri woke up.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Yuri tried to rise and the 
three of them toppled about, ending up in a roughly 
triangular formation, followed by more screaming and 
people leaping back.

	Lord Fuyuki sat up from where he slept.  "Are we 
under attack?"

	"Only by idiocy," Yuuki grumbled.

	"Whose face was on my butt?" Yuri asked in a panic, 
rubbing her butt as if to assure herself it was still there."

	"I got rolled when everyone moved, I'm sorry," Tae-
sensei said, bowing.

	"You three looked so cute," Sagano said, smiling.

	"It's watch time for the teachers.  Yuri-san, you can go 
back to sleep," Yuuki said.

	Tani-sensei patted Yuri's shoulder.  "See you in the 
morning, Yurippe."

	"You too, Tanisa," she said, nervously going to sleep.

	Tani-sensei made sure Yuuki and Sagano went to 
sleep so they'd get enough rest, then began pacing around 
the camp with Tae-sensei, trying to not stare at her; she 
looked quite good to him in the harem ninja outfit, but it 
wouldn't be polite to be so blatant.

	She moved silently, as usual.  He sounded like an 
elephant in a shop, in his opinion.  "How do you walk so 
quietly?"

	"It's a knack," she said.  

	"You probably shouldn't sleep on top of us," he said 
hesitantly.

	"But you make such good pillows," she said.  "I feel 
safer that way."  She smiled the smile at him which always 
made his knees weak.

	"I'd almost think you were..." he began, but he couldn't 
finish it.  It was, no doubt, just his imagination.

	"Doesn't it feel just like a dream?" she asked, waving 
her arms to indicate the world.  "Like you can do anything, 
and be anything?"

	"Yes," he said softly.  

	"Then best we dream happy dreams while we can, to 
store up for a rainy day," she said.  "But if you two want 
privacy for your wild love-love..."

	He stared at the ground.  "We're not..."

	"Because I'm there," she said.  "But I can go sleep 
further away if you two want to take up where you left off 
in high school."  Her voice was serious.

	"I don't know if that would be wise," he said.  "We'll 
soon be parted again."

	"Even if you love until death, one of you ends up 
going on without the other," Tae said softly.  "You have to 
grab it while you can.  Don't let your fear hold you back."

	He looked at her; her hair shone in the moonlight; her 
face for once, was utterly serious.  And she was 
tremendously beautiful to him, silly as the outfits they all 
wore were.  He stepped closer, suddenly wanting to kiss 
her, to hold her, to...

	Sagano blew it all by giggling.

	He spun.  "You two are supposed to be asleep."

	Yuuki feigned sleeping from where she hid behind a 
bush.  

	Sagano said, "I just had to see if you two would go 
make out."

	"We are teachers," Tani-sensei said.  "We have to set 
an example for our students."

	"Such as how to kiss properly," Tae-sensei said.

	"Such...no!"  Tani-sensei turned to her.  "Please take 
this seriously."

	"Girls, if you don't sleep, you'll be exhausted 
tomorrow," Tae-sensei said, turning serious.  "Go cuddle 
up to Yuri-san, so she won't feel lonely."

	"Tae-san!"

	Tae-sensei smiled.  "Doesn't it feel nice having 
someone by your side, whatever they or you may feel?" she 
asked Tani-sensei.

	"Yes," he mumbled.

	"We'll go sleep," Sagano promised; they ended up 
over by Lord Fuyuki, though.

	"She's so lively," Tae-sensei said.

	"She must run her parents ragged," Tani-sensei said, 
shaking his head.

	"I expect so.  But that energy is good for the fights."

	Tani-sensei groaned.  "The fights.  How am I going to 
explain this to their parents?"

	"They got here under their own power.  I'm sure you'll 
be fine."

	"Sagano did, but what about Yuuki?"  He looked quite 
worried.  
	
	"It will be fine," she said, putting a hand on his 
shoulder.

	I hope you're right, he thought.  

************	

	Mikoto woke in the middle of the night, listening to 
the gentle rain as she laid on top of a sleeping Hanai.  I 
can't believe we did this AGAIN, she thought.  I mean, 
sure, Masahiro looks good naked but not going down that 
road again, dammit.  

	This was not a good habit to get into, was it?  But it 
did feel good.  But they shouldn't do it with other people 
present, even if it did make it more exciting.

	And it was very exciting.

	She kissed Hanai's cheek softly.  I love you, she 
thought.  Whatever we do and whoever we do it...near.  

	She laid back down and drifted back to sleep.

************
		
	Mai twitched a little.  What she had to do wouldn't be 
easy.  But Tougo was right.  Imadori was a man easily led 
if you knew what he wanted, and the whole universe knew 
what he wanted.

	The dangerous part was whether Karen would kill her 
deader than Disco.  

	She finished half-unbuttoning her blouse, wishing she 
had a larger chest, as it would be more impressive like this.  
The skirt was already pretty short.  She took a deep breath, 
then sauntered into class, swishing her hair, which she'd let 
down.  

	That drew eyes; lots of the guys stared at her; some of 
the women looked very confused.  She sauntered over to 
Imadori and embraced him from behind, whispering into 
his ear as Karen stared at her.  "We need to talk," she 
whispered.

	He let himself be led away, grinning; she could feel 
the power of Karen's gaze on her.  She drew him into the 
hallway and tried to pose to make her blouse fall open just 
a little more, then said, "So you're the president now, 
right?"  

	He nodded.  "Since you fled into exile and Hanai's run 
away with his harem."

	She ran a hand up and down his arm, then said, "Well, 
I was tired of the job, anyway.  But I thought I ought to 
come back and take my classes.  Of course...now that I 
don't have to be responsible...I can do what I like."  She 
smiled at him in a hopefully winning manner.

	He took the bait.  Grinning, Imadori said, "I rather like 
what you like."

	"Good," she said.  "We should go out to dinner; I need 
to pass on the presidential secrets."

	"Secrets?" he asked, now looking intrigued.

	"There are special things which have to be told...and 
with me absent, there was no one to tell you.  So, it's a 
date?"  She giggled girlishly.

	Imadori grinned.  "It's a date."  He took her by the 
arm.  "Come on, I'm about to deliver my analysis of the 
Doujibirion vs. Poltroon battle in episode 27, once class 
starts."

	"Oooh, I love a good giant robot battle," Mai said, 
batting her eyes.  What a complete SUCKER, she thought.  
This will be easy.

	Many women glared at her as she came in with 
Imadori, especially Karen.

	Well, that might be the hard part.

************

	Eri woke up tied to a long pole with the two Harimas.  
A dozen goblins led by an ogre were hauling them through 
the woods.  "Set us free!" she demanded.

	"They don't listen," Harima said.  "And I somehow 
can't get these ropes off me!"

	"Captured hero can't escape during cut scene," one of 
the goblins said sagely.

	"What the hell are you freaks talking about?" Harima 
asked.

	"Sounds like Karasuma's weird mystic shit babblings," 
Lord Harima said.

	"Active play switched to Harem-Ninja team," another 
goblin said.  "You can't escape until they come to save you 
and player has choice to switch you back to active control."

	It sounded like video game talk to Eri, who wished 
she'd played more of them.  But if we're in a video game, 
who is playing?

***************
	
	Taro grumbled.  "This game is taking forever."

	"Hey, Fantasy Rumble is a CLASSIC," Keiichi 
protested.  "And I didn't see you protest when you got that 
triple-combo strike in on the Ogre Chieftan."

	"Yeah, but now we're stuck in the middle of all the 
damn lovey-dovey stuff," Taro said.  "Whose crazy idea 
was making this thing a date sim and an RPG at the same 
time?  And why do I have to play the girlfriend?"

	"You could run Lord Fuyuki," Keiichi said.

	"He can't fight worth shit, and Tae-sensei is a fighting 
machine!" Taro said.  "If I gotta do this, at least I want 
someone who will kick ass.  Man, that flashback where she 
beat the shit out of 30 gangers at once was SWEET."

	Keiichi had years of experience in herding Taro, but it 
still wasn't easy.  "Well, let's just watch the cut scene, 
okay?  It'll likely have some crucial clues."

	"Fine," Taro grumbled.  "Lemme get another beer, and 
then we can finish watching the damn cut scene."

*************

	Suga and Asou, Sara and Yakumo, Satsuki and Itoko 
all woke up tied to logs, being carried by goblins led by 
ogres.  Sorceress Eri was gagged and stuffed into an ogre-
carried sack.  Suga stared.  "Man, we must have taken the 
good drugs."

	"Hmm, so those WERE dimensional fields," Itoko 
said.

	"You could have warned us!" Satsuki said.

	"Well, I assumed we would be able to avoid them," 
Itoko said.

	Satsuki grumbled.

	"How can these things be real?" Suga asked.

	"Either we're dreaming a shared dream or we've 
dimensionally shifted," Itoko said.  "In practical terms, 
they're the same thing."

	"So we're legendary heroes from another world now?" 
Suga asked.

	"I think we're dinner, actually," Asou grumbled.

	"SACRIFICE not dinner," a goblin said.  "Humans 
taste awful.  Herbivores are the tasty animals."

	"So...vegetarian humans are tasty?" Satsuki asked 
curiously.

	Another goblin said, "What's a vegetarian?"

	"Druids," Sara said.

	"Druids are too dangerous to eat."  

	The goblins continued to amble along, carrying their 
prey through the thick woods.  It was flatter than home, but 
the trees were mostly similar if sometimes oddly colored.

	Sara still had her pistols hidden inside her uniform; 
she saw the others looked to be disarmed, though Itoko still 
had a few hidden guns also.  She kept this in store for when 
the chance came to escape.  "Who are you going to 
sacrifice us to?"

	"Ogre Lord Tennouji will sacrifice you all to Great 
Jammanderu for power and better seasonings," the goblin 
said.

	The ever devouring maw of Jammanderu, Sara 
thought.  Fortunately, his followers would probably not be 
too bright.  She began trying to think of a plan and wishing 
she could call Akira for help.

*************

	Miki was stretching when Hanai woke up, and he got 
an eyefull.  He stared a few seconds, then told himself to 
stop staring.  Miki blushed but didn't bother to cover 
herself, instead waving hello.

	He turned his head, hoping he wouldn't nosebleed or 
anything, and she giggled.  "No point in being bashful at 
this point."  Though she did start scrabbling for clothing in 
a lackadaisical manner.

	How have I become so perverted, he thought.  Also, 
Miki is hot.  No, no, don't think about Miki hotness.  Too 
many girlfriends already.  No, Mikoto is my only girlfriend 
now, even if I am worried about Yakumo out here in the 
wilderness...

	He could imagine...no, he wouldn't.  He drew Mikoto 
to him a little tighter.  He had to be true to her, or he 
wouldn't be worth anything.  

	Also, he had to get them moving so they wouldn't all 
be KILLED.  Time to get the show on the road.

**************
	
	Akira ate lunch thoughtfully.  There were basically 
two ways to defeat Imadori.  Maybe three.  Pull the school 
authorities on him, which would have unpredictable side 
effects.  Out-skank Mai and Karen and take control of his 
puny mind.  Or else organize a women's revolt.  But with 
several of the women sliding over to the skank side in order 
to get influence on him, there might not be enough women 
left.  Especially not if the men continued to back him.  Nara 
might be able to influence some of the men...but how?

	And what was Mai's game?  A comeback to power?  
She'd heard Tougo had moved in to try and seduce the 
woman who had taken over 2-D...Mitoko, or whatever her 
name was.  They must be orchestrating a comeback, she 
thought.  A rather crude one, by her standards.  Then again, 
there might be deeper plans.

	The old Mai was acceptable, but as she currently 
stood...Akira couldn't tolerate that.  But was there some 
way to beat them except at their own game?  She looked 
around the room, trying to judge who could be rallied and 
how.

	"Hanai's on a training trip," Nara said to her softly.  
"When he gets back, this will end.  Can't you just ignore 
it?"

	"That this fool rules our class?  I can't stand back and 
let idiots win."  Akira shook her head firmly.

	"Find out his official duties; see how many he 
neglects; report him," Nara said.

	That was easiest and yet so unpredictable, given the 
principal was a little whacko.  But it would do for a start.  
Time to read up.

*********

	Yuuki cocked her head.  "I hear something ahead."

	"What is it?" Sagano asked.  Yuuki's hearing seemed 
keener since they had come to this world.  Probably special 
gossip-overhearing powers.

	"Lots of...people, maybe?  And it sounds like...Harima 
and Sachikawa-san arguing whose fault this all is.  
Only...it's like there's two of Harima."

	"Hmmm, Harima and Sachikawa sandwich..." Sagano 
said thoughtfully.

	"Too much information about your fantasies," Yuuki 
said to her.

	"I'd rather have a Fuyuki sandwich, actually."  She 
glanced back.  "But I suppose I shouldn't think that way."

	"I think making out with someone who is making out 
with another version of you would be about the creepiest 
thing imaginable," Yuuki said.

	"Better for Tani-sensei that he can make out with Tae-
sensei and Yuri-san in his sandwich, right?" Sagano said.

	"HEY," Yuri said.  "Don't talk like that!"

	"We are not doing anything improper," Tani-sensei 
said sternly.

	"In front of you all, anyway," Tae-sensei teased.

	"Tae-san!" Yuri protested.

	She giggled, then said, "I will scout ahead," and 
vanished into the jungle.

	She soon returned.  "Hario, Eri-san, and some sort of 
Hario double are tied to a log; the goblins and ogres 
escorting them are having lunch."

	"We have to save them," Sagano said.

	Tani-sensei nodded.  "Can we take them?"  It felt a 
little strange to be so casual about it.  But after so many 
battles, it felt like just a part of life.  Whatever this place 
was, you could hardly go a mile without wandering 
monsters attacking, just like a videogame.

	"Yes," Tae-sensei said.  "I am thinking Yuri, myself, 
and you should engage them while the others free the 
prisoners, then join us."

	Tani-sensei nodded.

	"Hey, I wanna kick some ass," Sagano said, slashing 
her sword about.

	"You'll get your chance, but we have to protect our 
friends.  You all sneak around, and whistle loudly when it's 
time to attack," Tani-sensei said.

	"Won't a whistle draw their gaze?" Yuuki asked.

	"How about an owl call?"

	"WHO WHO DOCTOR WHO!" Sagano shouted.

	"Okay, no owl call..."

	After running down a list of noises, they finally 
decided it best to synchronize their watches and go by the 
clock.

	They divided up and Lord Fuyuki, Sagano, and Yuuki 
crept through the trees.  "Sandwich, hmm?" he said to 
Sagano, who got embarrassed.  "How about an open-faced 
sandwich?"

	Sagano got more flustered; Yuuki found this amusing 
but also didn't want to discuss this.  "You can flirt later 
when we're not trying to sneak up on goblins."
	
	"Well, you could always join us," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"Hmmm..." Sagano said.

	Yuuki turned red.  "No!  Hanai is the man for me!"  

	"I was just teasing," Sagano said, though the idea 
actually was making her curious now.  Curious enough for 
her to walk into a tree.

	As she peeled herself off the ground, Lord Fuyuki 
lifted her up, pulling her into an embrace, and she got 
embarrassed.  Sagano was used to being the hitter, not the 
hit upon.  She didn't quite know what to do, so she wiggled 
loose.  "Not until we seduce Yuuki."

	"WHAT?" Yuuki said, then realized she'd yelled.  "Uh 
oh."

	"Hey, what was that?" a goblin asked.

	"Just trees!" Sagano shouted.

	"Oh, okay," the goblin said.

	"You idiot, it's humans!  We have to crush them!" one 
of the ogres said.

	"But...wandering monsters don't have encounters with 
wandering monsters," the goblin said.

	"Which means...it's the heroes!  Kill them!"

	"Heroines!" Sagano shouted, charging forwards as the 
goblins and ogres poured towards them.

	The trio began turning ogres and goblins into dust and 
floating numbers with quick swipes of their blades.  Yuuki, 
as always, fought like a crazed weasel, while Lord Fuyuki 
fought a little nervously.  Sagano, on the other hand, 
bounced off trees like a rubber ball and made for the 
biggest ogre.

	As they engaged them, Tae-sensei, Tani-sensei, and 
Yuri switched plans and crept forwards through the 
branches to try and secretly free Harima, Lord Harima and 
Eri.

	"No, you're the one who knocked us all unconscious," 
Harima said.

	"Will you two shut up?" Eri half-demanded, half-
begged.

	"He started it," they said in unison.

	Tae-sensei popped up, a finger to her lips.  Then she 
came over and began to cut Harima loose.

	Lord Harima stared at her.  "A harem-ninja!"

	Yuri went to cut Lord Harima loose.  "Another one!" 
he said.  
	
	"Shhhh," Tani-sensei said as he started to cut Eri 
loose.

	"Why are you trying to get me to be quiet?" Lord 
Harima asked.

	"They're freeing the prisoners!"

	Tani-sensei slapped his forehead.  "THAT is why."

	"Doh."

	Tani-sensei slashed the log into three segments with 
two quick blows, then each of them grabbed one piece and 
ran with the goblins and ogres chasing them and Yuuki, 
Lord Fuyuki, and Sagano chasing after the goblins and 
ogres.

	Harima and Lord Harima now broke free and pitched 
into the fray.  Tani-sensei began bashing ogres with his 
new giant club until Eri's screams reminded him she was 
still tied to it.

	He quickly ripped her loose and she raised her arms.  
"ZIM ZIM ZALABIM GOATLOAD OF LIGHTING!"

	She unleashed a huge crackling wave of lighting 
which vaporized all their foes at once.  She heard a tiny 
voice, 'Mana meter zero.  Blonde Sorceress Needs Food 
Badly'.  She slumped and collapsed.

	"ERI!" Harima and Lord Harima shouted, charging 
over to her.  The result was them headbutting each other 
and passing out on top of her.

	"Damn, I'm jealous," Sagano said.

	"I'm not," Yuri said.

	"Tani-san and I could fall over on you," Tae-sensei 
teased.

	Yuri stared at the ground.  "Who are they?"

	"Two of our students and...I suppose this must be a 
Harima of this world," Tani-sensei said.

	"This is Lord Harima, one of the Queen's Defenders," 
Lord Fuyuki said.  "If we're lucky, the other Defenders are 
nearby and can quickly take us to the Princess."

	Yuri bent over Lord Harima and checked his pulse.  
"He should wake up soon."

	Lord Harima stirred to see cleavage down in his face.  
"Breasts!" he said in surprise.

	Yuri jumped back, smacking into a startled Tae, who 
tried to grab onto Tani-sensei for stability's sake, only to 
pull him down.  They ended up in a pile as the Harimas sat 
up, still sitting on a dazed Eri.  "Wow, they're forward," 
Lord Harima said.

	"Tae-sensei does that with anyone she likes," Harima 
mumbled.

	Eri gurgled and Sagano grabbed each Harima by the 
arm and pulled them up.  "Yuuki, get Eri some food or 
something."

	"I don't know what's wrong," Yuuki said, but she got 
one of their sandwiches and stuffed it into Eri's mouth.  Eri 
chewed frantically, then sat up.

	"Don't sit on me!" she said as she rose.

	"It was his fault!" the Harimas said, pointing at each 
other.
	"He's my evil twin!" each of them said.

	Tani-sensei helped Yuri and Tae-sensei up.  "You two 
okay?"

	"I'm fine," Yuri said.  Having Tanisa fall on her really 
wasn't half-bad.  Even if it meant falling on Tae-sensei and 
feeling kind of weird.

	"Lord Harima, he is not evil, he is just your twin from 
another world."

	"He has no beard, and must be evil," Lord Harima said 
triumphantly.

	"I don't have a beard," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"Then you must be evil.  And Karasuma, beardless 
Karasuma, THE MOST EVIL OF ALL!" Lord Harima 
shook his fists at the heavens.

	Lord Fuyuki sighed.  "Lady Sagano, please talk some 
sense into this fool."

	"Beyond even my awesome magical powers," Sagano 
said.  "Unless I can stab him sensible."  She twirled her 
blade.  "Shall I try it?"

	"Karasuma is indeed the root of all evil!" Harima said.  
"Clearly, THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT!"

	The two Harimas began to laugh in unison, until Eri 
said, "One universe is not enough to contain your 
stupidity."  She turned and stormed off, leaving them 
staring.

	Tani-sensei followed her.  "Sachikawa-san, are you 
alright?"

	"No," she said, then sighed.  "Kenji-kun and Lord 
Kenji are both idiots."

	"Boys that age aren't very sensible," Tani-sensei said, 
sighing.  

	Eri stared at the ground.  "Enough sulking. Where are 
we?"  She turned and faced him.  

	"It seems to be another universe.  We're on our way to 
the capital to try and find a reliable way home," Tani-sensei 
said.  "Or so we hope."

	She nodded, then glanced at the Harimas.  "They're 
going to be difficult."

	"One is hard enough, yes," Tani-sensei said.  "I put 
them in your charge."

	"MY charge?"  

	"Someone has to run herd on them, and I already have 
to keep Sagano-san and Yuuki-san alive," Tani-sensei said.

	Eri nodded in understanding.  "Alright.  Do I have 
permission to clobber them for being stupid?"

	"Please avoid violence," Tani-sensei said.

	That would make things harder.

***************

	Akira clicked her cellphone off.  "None of them are 
responding."  She frowned.  She'd wanted to check in on 
Sara.

	"Maybe they all have their phones off," Nara said.

	"That's true.  Or they may be out of service areas," 
Akira said.  "Time to check the GPS."

	The GPS signals indicated...that all of the GPS 
trackers had gone dead.  Her frown turned slightly darker.  
"They can't all fail at once.  Either they cleverly dumped 
their gear in a river or else...someone eliminated them."

	Nara frowned deeply.  "I see.  That's pretty bad.  So 
what do we do?"

	Much of tea club's strength was gone.  And searching 
all of Japan was not really an option.  She did have a last 
logged position, though.  But leaving Imadori in charge...it 
galled her.  But perhaps Mai would overthrow him.  She 
would have to count on that.

	There was a way to get a posse like she would need.  
She didn't like the idea of having to ask HIM for help, but 
he would, she was sure, and that would bring his women 
and his father.  She didn't like it.  So she would get on the 
move, and call him on the way.  Hopefully, Tenma would 
be able to take care of herself in Akira's absence.  But 
really, what would threaten her here, anyway?

*************
	
	"Are you sure we're going the right way?" one ninja 
asked another.

	"The ring says the Princess is this way.  They must 
have hidden her here."  He looked around at the rice 
paddies.  "It does look a little strange," he said as a car 
drove by.

	The third ninja said, "We press on.  As I don't know 
which way to go to get home anyway."

	That was the other problem, how to get home with the 
Princess once they had her.  But they'd figure something 
out.

*************
	
	Lala stormed along, then paused.  "How do we know 
where they are going?"

	"I am tracking their chi," Mr. Hanai lied.  Actually, he 
was counting on Hanai going to the usual campgrounds for 
lack of a better idea.  If Hanai DID get smart, they would 
have trouble.

*************

	They couldn't stay at the campsite.  Not if they wanted 
to avoid DEATH.  But where could they go?  Hanai didn't 
know.  The others were busy setting up their new camp at 
the training grounds; he was half helping and half-fretting.

	What they really needed was some kind of giant 
monster attack to drive them away.  Dragons, onis, 
Godzilla, something.  

	But what were the odds of that?

	"EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"  the blood-
curdling howl made him turn, hoping it was a giant 
monster.

	Instead, it was Lala, who landed on Mikoto's back, 
driving her into the ground.  She grabbed Mikoto and 
leaped into the air, then came down, piledriving her.  
Mikoto, caught off guard, got caught and struggled to break 
free.  "You will PAY FOR KIDNAPPING MY 
BOYFRIEND!"

	Miki and Masahiro stared in confusion.  Hanai 
contemplated suicide briefly, then charged over.  "Stop 
fighting!"

	Mr. Hanai ambled up.  "Hello, everyone."

	Mikoto and Lala twisted each other around like rubber 
men.  Hanai tried to pull them apart, but just got pulled into 
the melee, as they didn't appreciate the interference.

	"What is going on?" Masahiro asked Mr. Hanai.

	"The boy's been dating two women at once; I decided 
it was time to settle it all with a little mortal combat.  There 
was a third one, but I think she gave up," Mr. Hanai said.

	Masahiro frowned.  "That was pretty lousy of him."

	"Well, it certainly looked last night like he prefers 
Mikoto," Miki said.  Though I think he appreciates my 
looks.  She thought about the morning and smiled a little, 
then blushed.

	"I see," Mr. Hanai said.  "Did he try you out too and 
then pass judgement?"

	"Hey!" Masahiro said.  "Don't say things like that 
about my girlfriend."  His anger was fueled by knowing 
he'd thought some about Mikoto after seeing...no, best not 
to think of that.

	"We don't have that kind of relationship," Miki said.  
Though it would probably be quite enjoyable.  She got 
excited just thinking about it.  

	"Good.  He's in enough trouble already."  Mr. Hanai 
watched the three fight.  "Let's make dinner.  They will be 
hungry."

	Miki nodded and they went to work.

************

	"You probably shouldn't be here," Akira said to Nara.

	"I can't let you go alone," he replied; they were riding 
the train together.  "I'd go crazy at home."

	Akira sighed, putting an arm around him.  "I don't 
want to see you hurt."

	"I don't want to see you hurt, but I don't want to lie 
around at home wondering if you're okay," Nara said.

	Akira stared out the window.  "I hope Tenma will be 
alright."

	"She'll be fine," Nara said.

	"I feel almost like I'm abandoning her."  She shook her 
head.  "It's just a passing whim."

	"It's good of you to care.  But Tenma can take care of 
herself."

*************

	Tenma yelped as somehow the rice cooker erupted 
like a volcano, showering her down with tiny white flecks.  
Karasuma erupted into the room, saw her covered, and 
came over and scooped a few off her.  "Tasty," he 
pronounced.

	"You really think so?" she asked urgently.

	"Yes," he said.

	She smiled, then felt guilty she wasn't out with 
Yakumo.  "Do you think..."

	"She'll call if she needs you," Karasuma said.  "You 
should be here, if she calls, and go on until she does."

	Tenma nodded.  It is my duty to take care of the house 
in her absence, like... "IORI!  I need to feed him!"

	"I will," Karasuma said, and went to do so.

	Tenma began cleaning up.  I have the best boyfriend 
ever, she told herself.  No one could be better.

************  

	Satsuki looked over at Suga, who was engaging the 
goblins in banter.  She wondered if her boyfriend was very 
brave or simply unable to be quiet.

	"So how far is it to the temple, anyway?" Suga asked.  
"I'm getting a backache."

	"Depends on how long heroes take to find trail," one 
of the goblins said.  "They have to arrive just as we're about 
to sacrifice you."

	"..."

	"I see.  So even if we try to escape...," Itoko began.

	"Right now, you just plot devices.  Players can't even 
see you.  They're with the active party, trying to fight 
through wandering monsters to save you," the goblin 
continued.

	"They know we're here?"

	"They should have found the map, which is the clue 
for this quest."

	"But what if they, say, decide to go on some side-
quests first?" Suga asked, intrigued.

	"You get VERY BAD backache."

************
	
	"It's our next quest!" Lord Harima said, studying the 
map.  "We must go and clear the Temple of Jammanderu of 
all evil."

	"But we need to go to the capital and find the 
Princess," Sagano said.

	"When you find a map, you MUST explore what it 
shows.  This is the law," Lord Harima said.

	"I'd rather go meet the princess than take your stupid 
advice," Harima said.  She might be almost as cute as his 
Tenma.  Which wasn't really his Tenma, but maybe...one 
day...

	"STUPID?  You're the gorilla-lover!" Lord Harima 
bellowed.

	Eri stepped in between.  "Stop arguing.  Lord Harima 
knows this world and we don't."

	Harima looked flummoxed.  "You gonna kiss him 
too?" he said, surprising himself with how angry he 
sounded.

	"No!  But you're not getting any more kisses until you 
stop being stupid," Eri said.

	"Gonna be a long wait," Yuuki whispered to Sagano.

	"Who says I WANT your kisses?" Harima said.  "You 
don't kiss well at all!"

	"I kiss better than you!" Eri shouted.

	Tae-sensei stood behind and somewhat between Yuri 
and Tani-sensei.  She put an arm around each.  "You two 
should kiss, show them how its' done."

	"I...kiss?  In front of the kids?" Yuri asked in surprise.

	"I kiss way better than YOU," Harima said.  

	"I am twenty times better than him!" Lord Harima 
said.

	"I...well, I'm sure we kiss better than them...but with 
people watching?" Tani-sensei asked, embarrassed.

	She began herding them forwards against their feeble 
protests.

	"I'll show you how well I kiss!" Harima said, then 
grabbed Eri and pulled her into an embrace and a kiss.  Her 
ponytails stood up in shock as she melted into it.  

	He finally released her and she stared at him, eyes 
wide.  "Well?" he demanded.

	"My turn!" Lord Harima said, pulling her into another 
kiss.  

	Yuri watched this, feeling embarrassed.  Especially 
with Tae-sensei draped over her and Tani-sensei.  She felt a 
little envious of Eri, having such bold suitors.

	As they kissed, Tae-sensei whispered, "No one will 
notice if you kiss now."

	"I'll notice," Tani-sensei mumbled nervously.  

	Eri said, "I...I mean..."  She was almost trembling.  

	"KISS!  KISS!" Sagano began chanting.  She looked 
over at Lord Fuyuki as if tempted to do some kissing 
herself.  He grinned back at her and stepped closer.

	Yuri looked over at Tae-sensei and Tani-sensei.  
"Well, umm..."  But she couldn't quite bring herself to do it.

	Tae could see them both blushing and staring and 
knew what had to be done.  She leaned over their shoulders 
and down and kissed Yuri softly on the lips, then turned 
and kissed Tani on the lips.  "There you go, indirect kiss," 
she said.

	Yuri could see everyone had turned and was staring 
and was about ready to die.  "That was too quick to be a 
proper kiss," she mumbled incoherently.

	"Well, in that case...," Tae said, then turned her and 
gave her a somewhat more thorough-going kiss.  Murmurs 
went around the crowd, and then she turned and did the 
same to Tani-sensei.  

	Yuri staggered back a step, feeling her blood 
pounding, her head swimming.  She hadn't been kissed in 
so long and it was a woman who did it, and...  Her eyes 
crossed.

	Tani-sensei broke off the kiss, lookimg flustered.  
"Teachers shouldn't kiss in front of the students!"

	"Kids, turn around," Tae-sensei said.
	
	"I want to study your technique!" Sagano protested.

	"I...uh...we should get moving," Eri said weakly.

	"So which one of us kissed better?" Lord Harima 
demanded of Eri.

	She had to fight the temptation to say 'let's test it 
again.'  He had his own Eri, who no doubt loved him, after 
all.  "Maybe we should find the other Defenders."

	"Don't have a good way to," Lord Harima said.  
"They'll find us."

	Yuri, feeling nervous and not sure what to do, said, 
"We should take the side quest, in case it's important.  I'll 
scout ahead with Yuuki-san."  She grabbed Yuuki by the 
arm.

	"But I'm not a great scout," Yuuki protested as she 
was dragged off.

	"I just needed to get away before I die of 
embarrassment," Yuri mumbled.  She could feel the kiss 
replaying itself in her mind.  It had been a very good kiss, 
but what kind of crazy thing was that?  Indirect kiss?  She 
wanted a direct kiss.  Though really, it was a direct kiss 
with Tae which had been impressive and nice and...no, not 
going there.

	She tried to stop trembling; she felt like she was 
fourteen again and nervous as all get out.  She thought that 
was over now.

	"You okay?" Yuuki asked.  "Tae-sensei is kind of 
strange, but she's really sweet.  She doesn't normally kiss 
people, though.  Other than maybe Harima, who she seems 
to like."

	"Like?  As in...'like'?"

	"Yeah.  But she seems to 'like' you and Tani-sensei 
too," Yuuki said as they crept forwards through the woods, 
following a trail.

	"You really think so?" Yuri asked weakly, feeling 
strange.

	"Yeah.  She's not that affectionate with everyone," 
Yuuki said.  "But I could be wrong."  She sighed.  "I was 
about Hanai."

	"Is he a classmate?" Yuri asked her.

	"Yes.  I have...he's always so kind to me, but these two 
big breasted amazons are after him and I can't compete."  
She sighed.  "I'm just so mousy.  I wish I was as pretty as 
you."

	"You really think I'm pretty?" Yuri asked, feeling 
flattered.

	"Your breasts are bigger than mine, and you move so 
gracefully and you have a nice face and nice hair and no 
glasses."  Yuuki sighed deeply.

	"Well, I was just like you in high school," Yuri said, 
taking her hands.  She covertly studied her breasts; they did 
look bigger, but she was pretty sure that was just the outfit.  
It seemed to make anyone look rather busty.  "You just 
need to learn to fancy yourself up."

	"I don't know how," Yuuki confessed.

	"Neither did I," Yuri said.  "But I'd be happy to teach 
you."  She looked around the dense woods.  "Assuming we 
can somehow find the needed supplies."

	"Not much chance of finding makeup and nice 
clothing out here in the wilderness," Yuuki said.  "But 
maybe at the castle."

	Yuri nodded.  "I'll fix you up then, okay?"

	"Thank you, Yuri-san," Yuuki said, smiling.  "You're 
nice."

	"I like you too," Yuri said.  "We'd better focus on 
scouting, though."

	Yuuki nodded.  "Luckily, most of our foes make a lot 
of noise."

	"We can't count on that," Yuri said.  She was all 
business now; it was strange to Yuuki how she seemed to 
get older when she turned serious, when she wasn't kind of 
hiding behind Tae-sensei and Tani-sensei.

	Yuuki nodded and they glided together through the 
woods.  It was strange, she felt so much lighter on her feet, 
more nimble and stronger here.  She could even fire 
magically exploding stones with her slingshot.  She 
wondered if the outfits were magical or if she'd always had 
this power and not known how to unleash it.  For all the 
inconveniences and how embarrassing her clothing was, 
she felt stronger now and she liked that.

	She looked down at herself.  Hanai would probably go 
crazy for this, she thought.  But then...Suou and Gonzales 
would probably dress up in similar outfits and show off 
their ridiculously nice bodies.  I wish I had a body like that.  
Though her body did look more muscular than she 
remembered.  

	Curious, she hefted a rock and threw it as far as she 
could.  To her surprise, it zoomed out of sight among the 
trees.  And then she heard, "DAMMIT, MY EYE!"  
Sounded like an orc.

	"Wow, how did you know they were there?" Yuri 
asked, drawing her electrified blade and turning to run back 
in warning to the others.

	"My keen harem ninja senses," Yuuki lied.  

	They heard dozens of orcs crashing through the trees 
and they turned back to run to the others.

**************

	Ninja Master Akira shuffled the deck.  "Another 
round?"

	"Shouldn't we be looking for the others?" Witch 
Yakumo asked fretfully.  

	They were kneeling around a large stump they'd been 
using as a table for poker.  Martial Artist Mikoto studied 
her chips thoughtfully.  "We have to wait here until the 
main party finds us so we can join them."

	"But Lord Harima could be in danger."

	"Of Sorceress Eri making out with him, maybe," 
Martial Artist Mikoto said.

	Witch Yakumo's eyes widened.  "I should go."

	Priestess Sara caught her arm.  "No, the omens say we 
wait for the Chosen Ones."

	Witch Yakumo sighed.  "I hate guest starring in other 
people's sagas."

	Priestess Sara patted her on the arm.  "Our creator will 
get back to us eventually.  He's got deadlines to meet."

	"True," she said.  "I just hope it's soon."

************

	Yakumo stared at a nearby squirrel.  Their captors had 
stopped for dinner, and there was a squirrel near her log.  
She stared into its eyes, wishing she could talk to it like 
Harima could.  Her imagination drifted; she felt like she 
could see its tiny little mind, full of nuts and tree locations.  
She began whispering to it.  "You have to find Harima."  
The squirrel chittered.  "Tell him we're being taken to the 
temple of Jammanderu."

	It cocked her head curiously, and she felt frustrated.  
"Please," she begged.  

	Sorceress Eri tried to speak through her gag but failed.  

	Yakumo stared, trying, desperately, to read its mind 
and see if anything sank in.  If she pushed herself, straining 
her mind, she could almost make out thoughts.  About nuts.

	This frustrated her and she pushed harder, until, 
suddenly, vivid thoughts about nuts floated around the 
squirrel's head, and a tiny bud of curiosity about her.  She 
tried blowing on it, not sure what she was doing; it seemed 
to grow, but maybe that was just wishful thinking.  
"Harima," she said, trying to project an image.  "Find him," 
she said.

	It turned and ran off, chittering.  She hoped she'd 
succeeded and not just wasted her time.

**********

	Masahiro dragged the battered, unconscious fighters 
over.  "What exactly is going on?" he asked.

	"Hanai's been making time with two women at once," 
Mr. Hanai said.  "Now he gets to pay the piper."

	"There's a piper involved?" Miki asked.

	"..."

	Masahiro laughed softly, then frowned.  "But he and 
Mikoto..."

	"I think it is a case of him being unable to say no for 
fear of hurting her feelings," Mr. Hanai said.  "Perhaps this 
beating will help to motivate him."

	"I mean, he and Mikoto are...umm..." Masahiro began.

	"Having sex?" Mr. Hanai asked.

	"Yes.  But not with us," Miki said.  "Just near us.  I 
mean..."  She thought about sex with them and her eyes 
crossed.

	"There won't be any more sex for them on this trip.  
Really, they're too young for it, and even though I know 
they'll do it anyway, I can at least keep them from doing it 
in front of me," Mr. Hanai said.  "But you two are still 
young enough to know what teens are like."

	"Umm...can we have sex?" Miki asked.  "Or..."

	"You aren't my kids; do what you want," Mr. Hanai 
said.  "Let's fix them food so they can eat it once 
conscious."

	Miki felt a little disappointed at no more...whatever 
the right word was.  But she was adaptive.  Not as adaptive 
as Hanai, apparently.  Was he really cheating on Mikoto?  
She wanted to believe in him, but surely his father wouldn't 
set this up for no reason.  

	Masahiro thought it was probably for the best, as 
enjoyable as it was, it wasn't a good habit to get in.  
Especially not if...Hanai had never struck him as the type to 
two-time and surely Mikoto would NEVER put up with it.  
But if that was the case, what was going on?  

**************	

	The map seemed to indicate they would likely reach 
the temple in the evening of the next day, assuming that all 
went well.  This was assuming a steady rate of wandering 
monsters, anyway.

	It was decided to split up the Harimas and Eri among 
the watches, so as to prevent fighting keeping everyone 
awake.  Eri, Sagano, and Lord Fuyuki would go on first 
watch.  Harima, Tae-sensei, and Yuri would have the 
second.  And Tani-sensei, Yuuki, and Lord Harima would 
go third.  

	Yuri laid down for bed, feeling she ought to say 
something to the others, but not knowing what.  After the 
indirect kissing, SOMETHING had to be said.  She ended 
up nestled between Tanisa and Tae-san, which was a 
comfortable place to be.  She just wanted...

	She felt less grown up than them, and it frustrated her.  
Tae was a sophisticated big-city woman and Tanisa seemed 
so...he seemed like a big-city guy too.  She'd tried very hard 
to become more sophisticated and to not seem like a hick in 
the city, but it was like...how could Tae be so confident all 
the time?  Just kissing people like that.

	I have to be bolder, she thought.  Assert myself.  Not 
just fall back.  She leaned over and kissed Tanisa's cheek, 
then kissed Tae's cheek without thinking about it.  
"Goodnight," she said.

	Tanisa looked flustered, which pleased her.  She 
wanted to be able to shake people up with her affections.  
Tae-san looked utterly surprised for a moment, which made 
Yuri feel twenty times as pleased.  Then she kissed Yuri's 
cheek, and blew a kiss to Tanisa.  "Goodnight, you two."

	Tanisa looked pole-axed, and then Yuri said, "Don't 
we rate a kiss?"  She wanted...wanted him to pursue her 
too.

	He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then blew one to 
Tae.  She smiled at him.  Yuri said, "Goodnight, Tanisa, 
Tae-chin."  Let her wonder about that.

	"Goodnight, Tanisa, Yurippe," Tae-san said sleepily.

	There was a pause, and Yuri felt it necessary to goose 
Tanisa.  Just a little.  "Goodnight, Tae-chin, Yurippe."

	You had to keep the men off balance, or they would 
take on airs.  Very important.

************

	Harima was waiting.  His love awaited him across a 
field.  But he couldn't run to her until the theme music 
started.  It would throw everything off.

	Finally, a tune as martial as romantic started to play.  
Confused, Harima began running.  He could see her 
coming, long hair glinting like gold in the sun, her blue 
sundress flapping as she ran, one hand on her head to keep 
a sunhat from flying off.  

	They ran and ran and ran and...then two things hit him 
at once.  One was that he was running towards Eri.

	The other was that he couldn't possibly decelerate in 
time.

	WHAM.

	When he woke up, he was back at the edge of the 
field, waiting for his cue to run to his love.  Why did I have 
some dream about Eri, he asked himself.  And not Tenma?

	The world seemed to twist and bend, and now he saw 
another field where Tenma and Karasuma were running 
towards each other.  He couldn't allow that, so he turned 
and charged off towards them, only to fall into the chasm 
between them...

	He fell and fell and fell into the darkness, until, 
finally, hands caught him.  He looked up and for a moment, 
he saw Eri and Yakumo holding him up; they looked like 
angels.  But then the world tore again and ...

	He was being shaken.  Eri stood over him.  "We 
should talk," she said softly.

	Harima sat up, feeling nervous.  "Okay.  Ain't I 
supposed to be on watch?"

	"We can talk and keep watch.  I'll wake up Tae-sensei 
and Yuri-san when we're done," Eri said.

	Harima nodded and headed out to the perimeter.  A 
casual glance showed him that Sagano had rolled over and 
her arms were now blocking Yuuki and Lord Fuyuki's 
faces, making it hard for them to breathe.  He paused to 
move her arms.

	She waited for him by a large tree, leaning against it 
and staring off into the foggy woods.  "Hey."

	"Hey," he said, and they stood in silence, staring off.  
Finally, he said, "Did you mean it?"

	"Yes," she said.  "You make me crazy, but I love you 
anyway."

	Harima didn't know what to say.  He had a girlfriend, 
even if he wanted his girlfriend's sister, but then it had been 
Eri who had told everyone he was dating Yakumo and now 
he sort of was.  Or was it Tenma's idea?  He was starting to 
get confused.  

	While he thought, his mouth spoke, "Well, you make 
me crazy too, but sometimes you can be pretty cool.  I was 
dreaming about you earlier."

	WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY THAT FOR, he asked 
himself.  She's gonna get crazy ideas.

	Her eyes lit up.  "You did?  Was it a good dream?"

	Change subject, he told his mouth.  Talk about 
something else, like whether Tenma is okay.

	"It was pretty nice.  You were wearing this nice 
sundress and we were running across a field of flowers 
and..."

	Eri turned red and spun to stare out across the woods.  
He wondered what she saw.

	He came over, putting a hand on her shoulder; he felt 
her shiver.  "Is something sneaking up on us?" he 
whispered.

	"What?" she whispered.

	"You turned and you're staring like you saw 
something," he whispered into her ear.

	"I..it...do you dream like that about me often?" she 
mumbled.

	"First time," he said.  "It didn't end so well, though."

	"Oh?" she asked softly.

	"We kinda ran headlong into each other and fell down 
and they gave our jobs to Tenma and Karasuma," he said.

	"Do you still love her, Kenji-san?" Eri asked softly.

	He stared sombrely into the woods, over her 
shoulders.  He had a hand on each of her shoulders now.  
"She'll never love me," he said, sighing.  "Not like that."

	"I can love you like that, Kenji-san," Eri said softly.  
"You care about me, don't you?  Even if you don't love me 
like you love her?"

	"Yeah," he said.

	She turned and looked up at him.  "Give me a chance; 
let me try and win your heart."

	"Okay," he said, and leaned down and kissed her 
under the full moon in the forest of an alien world.  It was 
the best kiss that Eri ever had.  Not that she had much 
competition.

	And then...

	And then...

************

	Eri tore up the paper in frustration.  Why am I writing 
stupid soppy love stories about me and Harima when I'm 
supposed to be on guard duty?  

	She wanted desperately to talk to him, but she didn't 
know what to say.  

	"Thinking about Harima-kun?" Sagano asked.

	Eri looked over at Sagano, who had gone native and 
skanked out, it looked like to Eri.  "No, of course not."

	Lord Fuyuki picked up paper shards.  "Here you are 
kissing him..."

	"Just jump him," Sagano said.  "He won't say no."

	"I can't just do that.  I already confessed.  It's his 
move."

	"I don't think he knows if you meant it.  You were 
drunk," Sagano said.

	Eri frowned.  "You think he thinks I didn't know what 
I was doing?"

	"I'm sure of it."

	Confess AGAIN?  After she'd already humiliated 
herself once...

	But if she waited for him...

	"Alright," she said.  "I'll do it."

	"Go wake him," Sagano said.  

	"I...now???"

	"Before anything bad happens," Sagano said.

	Eri gulped and let herself be herded over to him.  He 
sprawled out close to Lord Harima; they were odd mirrors 
of each other.  She pulled him away from Lord Harima and 
shook him.  "Kenji-san, it's me, Eri."

	"Mrr...hello?" he babbled.

	"Harima, did you think I just said that because I was 
drunk?"

	"You're drunk?" he mumbled in confusion.

	"I'm not drunk.  But I was then."

	"You were what?" he mumbled.

	She frowned.  "When I kissed you!"

	"You want me to kiss you?" Harima mumbled.

	"I...what?"  She froze up.

	He leaned up and wrapped his arms around her and 
gave her a thousand league kiss, half crushing her, lips 
pressed fiercely together.  She started to clumsily french-
kiss him, and he reciprocated.

	She could feel herself getting excited when he finally 
broke off the kiss.  Her mind filled with memories of him 
naked and she thought about things...wishing she knew 
more about them.

	Sagano and Lord Fuyuki clapped.

	Eri froze up as she remembered she had an audience.

	Harima snapped fully awake.  "Eri-san, why are you 
kneeling over me?"

	She stared at him.  "We just kissed."

	"We did?" he asked in confusion.  "I thought I was 
dreaming."  Though the dream had been kind of confused 
about who he was kissing.  Had it been Eri?  The girl was 
blonde...

	"Kenji, you are SUCH AN IDIOT!"  She stormed off, 
too pissed off to go on.

	He scratched his head.  Eri is so strange, sometimes.  
He sighed and went back to sleep.

*************

	School seemed a little sadder to Tenma with all her 
friends gone.  I should have gone with Akira, she thought.  
But Akira had insisted someone had to stay in school and 
get the assignments for the others.  So she would do her 
very best on that.  They were counting on her.

	She looked at Mai, who was flirting with Imadori.  
Karen was staring daggers into Mai's back, but was too nice 
to do anything.  Tenma felt bad for her.  I should do 
something to help Karen out, Tenma thought.

	She stormed up to the front.  "Imadori-kun, you 
shouldn't flirt with other women when you have Karen!"

	Karen looked embarrassed and grateful at once.

	Imadori said to Mai, studying her exposed cleavage, 
"The only problem with your plan is that some of the 
women don't have much to show off if we make them all 
unbutton their blouses.  I mean, you can hardly tell the 
difference between Tsukamoto and a guy with long hair."

	Tenma's hair tendrils wiggled frantically.  "I DO NOT 
LOOK LIKE A BOY!"

	"Did you hear something? Imadori said to Mai.  "I 
can't perceive flat-chested women."

	I am NOT FLAT CHESTED, Tenma thought, then 
looked down at herself in frustration, as, pretty much, she 
was.  

	"It's Tsukamoto-san," Mai said.  "She's trying to 
lecture you about Karen."

	"Now, now, Karen does her job very well.  You 
shouldn't complain about her, Tsukamoto-san," he said, 
peering at Tenma as if she was flickering in and out of 
existence.  

	Karen blushed a little and looked confused.

	"I was complaining about you neglecting her!" 
Tsukamoto complained fervently.

	"Re-electing her?  A good idea, but we don't vote 
again for months," Imadori said.  He patted Karen's 
shoulder.  "She's a hard worker and makes my life much 
easier handling all that paperwork so I can focus on the big 
decisions."  He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

	"You shouldn't be flirting with Mai!" 
	
	"We're just talking," Imadori said, then turned back to 
Mai.

	Tenma spluttered in frustration.  So he won't pay 
attention to me because of my breasts?  I'll show him!  I'll 
have the biggest breasts of all!

	Not that she had ANY idea how to pull this off.

*************

	Mikoto woke up and found she was dangling over a 
cliff by a rope.  So did Lala.  Hanai, on the other hand, 
woke up at the base of the cliff-side tree from which the 
other two hung.  "What the...?" he asked.

	"Get me down!" Lala demanded.

	Mikoto tried to wiggle loose.  "I can't get free."

	Mr. Hanai popped down out of the branches.  "Well, 
son, we're going to have a test of love.  The branches will 
soon break.  You'll only be able to save one of them.  So 
you'll have to show who you really care about."

	"You could just ask me!" Hanai said.

	"Too late for that.  One will live and one will suffer 
the judgement of the rocks," Mr. Hanai said.

	Miki and Masahiro were here, staring in shock.  

	Lala tried frantically to get free.  "I did not come out 
here for you to use me as a toy for your amusement, Hanai-
sama!"

	"Let us down!" Mikoto shouted.

	"Neither of them deserves to get hurt like that because 
of me!" Hanai protested.

	"Should have thought of that before you started 
leading them on," Mr. Hanai said.  There was a creaking 
noise.  "Time's almost up."

	The tree swayed, the branches made ugly noises, and 
Hanai felt his gut clench.  He couldn't let them fall.  The 
only hope was to move NOW, before they could fall.  He 
quickly assessed the situation, only to see Masahiro and 
Miki had climbed into the tree to try and get Mikoto down 
while he'd been bickering with his dad.  Could they do it?  
Or would they fall too?

	If he could trust them to get her, then he could save 
Lala.  Otherwise, he'd have to go make sure they didn't fall 
too; they'd never survive the fall.

	But how would they get Mikoto down, anyway?  They 
surely couldn't cut her loose before she fell.

	Too much thinking.  He had to trust them, as there was 
no one else to save Lala and they might be able to save 
Mikoto.  

	He moved as fast as he could, shouting, "You two 
save Mikoto-kun.  I'll save Lala since there's no one else to 
help her."  It was a gamble, but he had to take it.

	He jumped up, seized the snapping branch, and swung 
Lala around to land on the ground; it wouldn't feel good, 
but it would save her.

	As he turned, he saw Masahiro trying to cut Mikoto 
loose.  Instead, the whole branch snapped under all the 
weight and all three began to topple off the cliff.

	He moved as fast as he could, resolving to annihilate 
his father later.  He jumped down at the ground, then 
bounced up under the collapsing branch, knocking it into 
the air, and then back towards the ground. He was sure 
Mikoto could take the short fall to the ground; he caught 
Miki and Masahiro and tossed them to safety.  

	Unfortunately, the end result of his movements was to 
send him soaring off the cliff, having miscalculated in his 
hurry.  As he started to plummet, he realized his father had 
strung nets a short distance under the top of the cliff, so 
whoever he had 'let fall' would have landed in the nets.  
Instead, he soared past them, plummeting into the gorge.  
He prayed the river below was deep.

**************

	"Don't we traditionally get a final night with our 
girlfriends before being sacrificed?" Suga asked one of the 
trolls who was guarding the group.  They'd been brought to 
the temple and tied to pillars, awaiting sacrifice when the 
holy time came.

	"Virgin sacrifices are best," the troll said.

	"But..."

	"Don't lie, you still virgin," the troll said.

	"WHAT?"

	Asou snickered.  Satsuki looked a little disappointed.  
"We did make out.  Does that count?"

	"No, you didn't orgasm," the troll said.

	"How the hell would you know?" Satsuki demanded.

	"Priest scanned you all, only the old woman is not a 
virgin."

	"OLD WOMAN?" Itoko demanded.  "I'm not even 
thirty!"

	"You smell of art teacher," the troll said.  "Never a 
good sign."

	Everyone stared at her, even Sorceress Eri.  

	"We haven't done anything!" Itoko protested.  Not 
much.  It was only when they were both very lonely, 
anyway.  Which wasn't THAT often.

	Dammit.

	Sara said, "So if we all somehow had sex you wouldn't 
be able to sacrifice us?"

	Everyone stared at her, even the half-sleeping goblin 
who was hiding from work behind a barrel.

	"But my boyfriend isn't here!" Yakumo protested.    

	"You coming on to me?" the troll asked Sara.

	Sara turned a sort of mixture of mauve and orange.

	Suga said to Yakumo, "Itoko-sensei can take care of 
you.  She's clearly learned from the art teacher."

	"Are you TRYING to get killed?" Itoko asked Suga.  
Asou just shook his head.

	"Non-virgin sacrifices are acceptable, but virgin ones 
are better," the troll said.  "Jammanderu will eat anyone."

	Silence.

	And then there was snickering from captives, trolls, 
and goblins alike.

	"DAMMIT, NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

***********

	"Itoko-san has gone off with the rest of Tea Club on a 
trip," Sasakura-sensei said to Tenma.

	Tenma frowned.  "You wouldn't happen to know any 
quick ways to make my breasts bigger, would you?"

	"Beyond plastic surgery, no.  But then, you're still 
young, and you shouldn't worry about your bust size.  
Large breasts have their drawbacks, anyway," Sasakura-
sensei said. 

	Tenma frowned.  Easy for you to say.  

	Sasakura-sensei's ears pricked and she tried to casually 
glance around.  Was someone watching them?

	Tenma said, "I'll have to look into the surgery, then."

	Sasakura-sensei's eyes widened.  "Why do you want 
them so badly?"

	"Our new class president won't pay attention to small 
breasted women," Tenma said, frowning.

	"Oh, he won't, will he?" Sasakura-sensei said, 
frowning and crossing her arms.  "I think it's time for 
someone to learn a little lesson..."

***********

	Akira set her jaw.  It was time to call Hanai, so as to 
ensure she went to the right place.  He picked up quickly.  
"Hello, this is Hanai Haruki."  There was an odd whistling 
noise in the background.

	"This is Takano Akira.  I'm afraid that Yakumo and 
Sara went looking in the wilderness for Kenji-kun and their 
GPS have stopped working and..." Akira began.

	"Can I call you back?  I think I'm about to hit the 
ground," Hanai said.  "Wait, Yakumo is..."

	There was a whipcrack sound of impact and splashing 
and then the phone went dead.

	Akira stared at the phone, feeling as if someone had 
reached into her heart, grabbed her chest and squeezed.  He 
was...Surely he wasn't dead.  He couldn't be dead.  This had 
to be some kind of joke on her.

	"Akira, are you okay?" Nara asked softly, putting a 
hand on her shoulder.

	Frantically, she tried calling Mikoto.  No answer.  Mr. 
Hanai.  No answer.  She didn't have Miki or Masahiro's 
number to call.

	She was dialing numbers at random when Nara pulled 
the phone out of her hand.  "Akira-chan," he said.  "What is 
wrong?"

	"I...he...the water...I don't know what's going on, no 
one will answer their phone and...I mean...he's alive, isn't 
he?" she asked, sounding frantic.  "Right?"

	"I'm sure Hanai is fine," Nara said, wondering what 
was going on.  "Did the call get cut off?"

	"Yes, and he said...he was falling..." She looked 
utterly stricken; Nara was stunned, as he'd thought she'd be 
happy if Hanai fell to his death.

	Nara pulled her into an embrace; people stared at them 
on the train platform as they went by, but he didn't care.  
"He'll be fine.  He's very tough."

	Akira tried to stop breathing so hard.  "Everyone's 
vanishing, falling, dying..."

	He tried being soothing, but that didn't seem to work; 
she just slowly got more frantic.  Finally, he snapped, "Get 
a grip.  If they are in trouble, they NEED you to be able to 
focus."

	She froze up, looking guilty, then took a deep breath.  
"You're right.  I have to be in control."

	He nodded.  "I can't stand seeing you hurting so much.  
And you can't help anyone like that."  

	She ruffled his hair slowly.  "I am a lucky woman," 
she whispered into his ear.  "You understand, don't you, 
why I sometimes seem cold?"

	"You're warm on the inside," he whispered back 
softly.  

	I have to tell him the truth, she thought.  Even if it 
means he dumps me, which he might.  Men who weren't 
horn-dogs were hard to understand.  "I am hiding my 
warmth so that it will be more special when I let someone 
see it," she whispered into his ear.  The rest...would have to 
wait.  She needed him.  She couldn't do this alone.  

	Louder, Akira said, "Let's go find someone who can 
tell us where the training grounds are."

	He nodded, looking relieved, and moved to walk with 
her, holding her hand.

	She felt a little better as they began their search.

*************
	
	Tani-sensei studied the map, glancing at Yuri and Tae-
sensei.  He couldn't quite figure out if Yuri was hitting on 
him and Tae or if he was imagining things.  Tae seemed to 
be doing the same thing.  It was very flattering, but it also 
made him rather nervous, as this sort of thing typically 
ended in disaster.  But then so did all his relationships.

	Yuri hesitantly leaned forward, pressing into him from 
behind and looking over his shoulder.  He thought about 
putting an arm around her; Tae made up his mind for him, 
moving his arm around to embrace Yuri, who looked a 
little embarrassed but also pleased.  Tae then leaned over 
his other shoulder; his other arm was busy holding the map.

	Eri watched all this and frowned, wishing Harima was 
less of an idiot.  Watching these three was making her 
jealous.

	Also, Harima and Lord Harima kept trying to poke 
each other without the other being able to PROVE it.  
Which meant it was going to be time to Zalabim some 
lightning into them again soon.

	That, at least, was kind of neat.

	Sagano popped up.  "Left fork leads to a dragon's lair.  
Right fork leads to a friendly gorilla guide who will take us 
to the Temple's back door if we pay him 500 crowns."

	"I'll punch him until he cooperates!" Lord Harima 
said.

	Eri frowned.  "No gorilla punching."

	Yuuki said, "The gorillas hate Lord Harima.  How are 
we going to get him to help if we have Lord Harima?"

	Eri grinned.  "There's only one way.  Disguise him in 
a way they'll never recognize."

	Lord Harima stared suspiciously at them.  "I don't like 
the sound of that."

	Harima began to laugh until Eri said, "You too, 
Kenji."

	"But..."

	"They might mistake you for Lord Harima and..."

	"He's evil with a beard!" Harima said, waving his 
hands around and pointing.

	"ZIM ZIM ZALABIM, DISGUISE THE HARIMAS 
AS WOMEN," Eri said, waving her arms.  There was a 
huge surge of energy.

	"Couldn't we just disguise them more simply?" 
Sagano protested too late.  

	When the smoke cleared, both of the Harima were 
now wearing frilly dresses and looked quite feminine.  
"DAMMIT, I DON'T WANT TO BE TRANSFORMED 
INTO A WOMAN AGAIN!" Lady Harima shouted.

	Onna-Harima looked down her blouse.  "SHIT!" 

	Yuuki stifled a laugh.

	Yuri said, kindly, "You look very pretty."

	Tani-sensei resolved to never mess with Eri.  "Do we 
have to go that far?" he asked.

	"Yes," Eri said firmly.

	"This is only fair if you turn yourself into a man," 
Lady Harima said.

	"I don't need to be disguised!" Eri protested.

	"He...she's right," Sagano said.  "You're already 
dressed like a guy, anyway, in the hunting outfit."

	Eri looked at Onna-Harima, who nodded.  "Fair's fair."

	"Dammit," Eri grumbled.  "ZIM ZIM ZALABIM 
TRANSFORM ME INTO A MAN!"

	There was a flash of light and Eri became a rather 
bishonen looking guy, somewhat taller, hair pulled back 
into a single long pony-tail.  Otoko-Eri wobbled, feeling his 
balance off.  

	He looked over at the Harimas and felt a strange 
sensation in his groin area; once he figured out what it was, 
he felt very embarrassed.  His mind began wandering into 
wondering how they looked naked, and he closed his eyes 
and whacked the side of his head.  I'm not going to be a 
horndog, he told himself.

	"You okay?" Sagano asked.

	He opened his eyes, looked at Sagano, and noticed for 
the first time how good looking she was.  Especially in that 
outfit.  

	Sagano looked down at herself.  "Do I have something 
on me?"

	"You look fine," Otoko-Eri said.  Very fine.  NO DO 
NOT GO THERE, he thought.  No wonder Imadori is such 
a putz, he thought.  Twenty seconds a man and I have 
naughty thoughts about Sagano of all people!

	He shook his head, then said, "Let's go find that 
gorilla, so we can GET THIS OVER WITH."

	As they started off, Yuri saw Onna-Harima wobbling; 
she was wearing high-heeled boots.  "Not used to this?" she 
said softly, coming over to Onna-Harima.

	"No," Onna-Harima said.

	Yuri began advising Onna-Harima on how to walk in 
them, then said, "I envy you getting to wear that dress."

	"You look pretty hot in that outfit," Onna-Harima said.  

	Yuri blushed.  "I really don't have the figure for it."

	"You look great," Onna-Harima said.  "Lots of guys 
would throw themselves at you."

	"You flatter me," Yuri said, but she felt pleased by the 
compliment.  "So is Eri your girlfriend normally?  Or what 
exactly?"

	"It's a big old mess," Onna-Harima said.  "She's my 
crazy rich classmate who says she loves me, but she slaps 
me around like I'm her little bitch sometimes and gets mad 
for no reason at all.  And I..."  She looked around carefully, 
and lowered her voice.  "There's someone I'm in love with, 
but she loves someone else."  She sighed gloomily.  "I need 
to give up on her, but I don't know how.  I have a sort of..."  

	Onna-Harima looked around again.  Otoko-Eri was up 
in the lead with Tani-sensei and Tae-sensei, discussing 
gorillas.  

	Onna-Harima said, "I have a sort of practice girlfriend 
but I think maybe she didn't think it was practice."

	Yuri frowned.  "But if you loved someone else..."

	"Tsukamoto set me up with her sister," Onna-Harima 
explained.

	"Ooooh," Yuri said.  She frowned.  What a mess.  "So 
you're dating the sister of the woman you love, while a 
friend of the woman is in love with you?  What do you 
think about Eri?"

	Onna-Harima looked off towards Otoko-Eri.  "That is 
one FINE ass on that guy," she pronounced, then froze up.  
"Shit, I just liked a guy's ass!"

	Yuri laughed softly.  "It's natural for a girl."

	"But I'm not..."  She looked down at herself.  "Double-
shit."

	Yuri laughed again.  "I'm actually kind of curious, a 
little, as to what it feels like.  I mean, what feels different."

	"Well, you could ask Eri to transform you," Onna-
Harima said.  "NOT THAT I WOULD WISH THAT 
EVEN ON KARASUMA NOW."

	Lady Harima, who was talking to Lord Fuyuki and 
Sagano and Yuuki, looked back at Onna-Harima.  Otoko-
Eri, Tae-sensei, and Tani-sensei stared back.

	"Nothing!" Onna-Harima said loudly.  "Just 
gossipping!"  She went for girlish laughter; to her surprise, 
it came out EXTREMELY girlish.

	"If this does drag on, I can give you makeup lessons 
with the ones I'm giving Yuuki," Yuri said.

	"I don't need makeup lessons," Onna-Harima said 
stubbornly.

	"But you want to look nice for Eri, don't you?" Yuri 
asked.

	"I'm not gonna dress up for some guy, even if he is 
really cute and has nice long hair and..."  Onna-Harima 
paused.  "I'm gonna have to kill myself now."

	She began trying to bang her head against a tree.  To 
her surprise, Yuri pulled her back with a strength that 
belied Yuri's appearance.  Yuri seemed a little surprised 
too.  "Don't hurt yourself," Yuri said firmly.

	Otoko-Eri stomped back.  "Why are you attacking 
trees with your head?" he asked heatedly.

	Onna-Harima felt her heart beat faster; her whole body 
felt weird, looking at him being so passionate.  Nothing had 
ever terrified Harima more.  "I...you...you're cute when 
you're angry," she mumbled.

	Otoko-Eri looked utterly pole-axed.  "I...uh...I am?"

	Onna-Harima wondered if she was about to have a 
heart-attack or something.  "Ummm....yeah," she said, 
laughing nervously.

	"Why were you banging your head on a tree?" Otoko-
Eri asked.

	"Trying to get the bad thoughts out," Onna-Harima 
mumbled.

	Lady Harima looked at the two of them and just shook 
her head.  "You can tell SHE isn't used to this sort of 
thing," he muttered to Lord Fuyuki.

	"Built up resistance to the mental effects?" Lord 
Fuyuki asked.

	"Can't count how many times I've been transformed by  
Witch Yakumo or Sorceress Eri," Lady Harima said.  "So 
I'm not noticing the hot men at all."

	Lord Fuyuki laughed softly.  "Of course not."

	Otoko-Eri took Onna-Harima's hand.  "Look, I can 
turn us all back to normal and..."

	Onna-Harima shook her head.  "I can tough it out.  I 
won't let this beat me.  We need the stupid gorilla's help 
and that's that."

	Otoko-Eri drew up close to Onna-Harima and 
whispered in her ear, "I feel weird too."  He pulled back 
slightly, but then leaned in closer to Onna-Harima, who felt 
her heartbeat speeding up.  She leaned in closer to Otoko-
Eri.

	Onna-Harima felt a mixture of anticipation, terror and 
shock.  For a few seconds, as their lips met, they were in 
heaven.  Then it sank into Onna-Harima's mind that she 
was kissing a guy.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  She 
instinctively socked Otoko-Eri high into the sky, then ran 
off in a panic.  

	But....guys are supposed to be the slapstick victims, 
Otoko-Eri thought, then remembered he was a guy.  THIS 
SUCKS, he thought.  No wonder guys are so cranky.

	Lady Harima shook her head.  "This sort of stuff 
always happens.  But better her than me."  She sighed.  
"Let's go meet the gorillas.  But I'd better get to punch me 
some gorillas EVENTUALLY."

	And they went.

************

	Karasuma frowned.  Sometimes the lucidity was good, 
and sometimes not.  He knew what was supposed to 
happen.  He was supposed to go to the living room and do 
his homework, unaware that Tenma was about to be 
kidnapped.

	Unfortunately, he'd had a moment of higher 
perspective.  The secret was out to him.  He knew what was 
to come.  But he couldn't just sit back and let her be 
kidnapped.  Not knowing it was coming.

	But if he intervened, if he changed what was to 
be...the story would be interrupted, the flow of the plot 
disrupted.   

	But what else could he do?  He could let her be 
kidnapped if he didn't know she was going to be kidnapped, 
but if he did...

	He had to save her, or at least try.

	He rose and began to run.

*************

	Mr. Hanai swung in his new cage out on a branch over 
the cliff.  "I was just trying to make him choose!"

	"This is your punishment," Miki said to him.  "You 
could have just hauled him out in front of everyone."

	Masahiro nodded.  "Let's just hope Lala and Mikoto 
can find him."

	"Do you think..." she asked nervously.

	"I'm sure he was faithful to Mikoto," Masahiro said, 
though he wasn't sure.  "No one could fake passion like 
they showed us.  Right?"

	"Right," Miki said.  But she worried.

************
	
	Lala scrambled down the cliff, frantically ahead of the 
more cautious Mikoto.  There was a river, thankfully.  He 
must be floating down it.  

	She saw something, probably him, floating towards 
some strange glowing field.  Lala frowned at it.  What the 
hell was this?  Aliens?  It had to be aliens.

	"YOU CAN'T TAKE MY BOYFRIEND!" she 
shouted, running towards the field.

	"He isn't YOUR boyfriend, he's mine!" Mikoto 
shouted, leaping down and running after her.

	"That's it!  Let's settle this!" Lala said, leaping at 
Mikoto.

	They began pounding the hell out of each other with 
punches, kicks, grabs, holds and locks, rolling around in the 
dirt until their clothing was all torn up.  

	It was right as Lala was about to shove Mikoto's head 
in the river that she realized...

	"HARUKI-KUN!"  He'd drifted into the glowing field.  
She let go of Mikoto and ran after the field down the shore.  
"I'm coming!"

	Mikoto ran after her as well and they both vanished 
into the glowing field once they reached it...

****************

	"Wow, I look as big as Mikoto now!" Tenma said, 
looking at herself in the mirror.  "They look so real."  She 
touched the fake breasts; the whole thing was basically a 
flesh-colored plasticky sheet wrapped around her torso with 
two fake but convincing breasts attached.  With clothing 
over it, she could easily pass as a busty woman.

	"But can you make me taller and older?"

	"Well, somewhat.  Makeup only goes so far," 
Sasakura-sensei said.  "But we'll see, okay?"

	Tenma grinned.  This was going to be great.

	And then the ninjas burst through the windows.

************

	"Male Eri's crankier than female Eri," Yuuki noted to 
Sagano.

	"And Harima-san's gonna smash her forehead in at 
this rate," Sagano replied.  

	They were scouting ahead down the path the gorilla 
had guided them onto.  It was strange for Yuuki, but she 
was getting comfortable with this.  She could move so 
lithely and hide so much better than in the old days.  Even 
her uniform seemed less embarrassing.  This was starting to 
get fun.

	They came to a river; fortunately, there was a ford.  As 
they started to splash across, Yuuki spotted a body floating 
down the river.  It was Hanai!

	She stared in shock, then waded into the deeper water 
to get him and drag him out.  He clutched a ruined 
cellphone in one hand.  She felt her heart ache at the sight 
of him like this.

	A quick check showed he was knocked out but not 
bleeding or drowning.  So she propped him by a tree and 
kneeled by him.

	His first sight of her, on opening his eyes, was her 
bosom close to his face.  Hanai's eyes crossed and then he 
looked up.  "Yuuki-san?" he asked in confusion.
	
	"Lovely Harem Ninja Yuuki," Sagano corrected.  "I 
am the Beautiful Harem Ninja Sagano."

	"Did you sew those yourselves?  They look well 
made," Hanai said.  He looked around.  "Why are you 
cosplaying out in the wilderness?"

	"We've been whisked to another world," Sagano said.  
"You too, now."

	Yuuki asked, hesitantly, "Are you okay?"

	She could see him checking her out again while trying 
to pretend not to.  It made her feel better.  

	"I'm fine," he said, trying to rise and stumbling; she 
caught him.  "Are Mikoto-kun and Lala-san okay?" he 
asked.

	"Hmm, both first names.  You all going threesome?" 
Sagano asked.

	Hanai looked embarrassed.  "No, Mikoto is my 
girlfriend."  He felt more confident in saying that now.  
Even if he had saved Lala first since Miki and Masahiro...  
"Have you seen anyone else?"

	"Not unless the talking gorilla is yours," Sagano 
teased.

	"No," Hanai said.  He wobbled again.

	Yuuki picked him up easily, marvelling at her own 
strength.  Hanai looked surprised.  "I'll carry you," she said.

	"I shouldn't burden you."

	"No burden at all.  Let's see if we can find them," 
Yuuki said, turning to carry him upstream, Sagano 
following after.

***********  
	
	Fuyuki was rather surprised to see Karasuma at his 
window.  Since he lived on the eighth floor of a 20 story 
apartment building.  He opened the window.  "You could 
have just used the stairs."

	"Too slow.  The time has come for us to act."

	"What, in a play?" Fuyuki asked in confusion.

	"The ninjas have Tenma-chan and Sasakura-sensei.  
And Sagano-san and Gonzales-san will need our help soon.  
It is time for us to move."

	"Ninjas?  What, the ones who attacked Sawachika's 
party?"

"Ninjas from another world.  Now, come," Karasuma 
said.

	"Do I need to pack some supplies?"

	"We will live by our wits," Karasuma said.  "No time 
for packing."

	We're dead, Fuyuki thought.

*************
	
	Tani-sensei studied the mud around the ford.  "Is it 
just me, or does it look like someone turned off upstream 
here?"

	The gorilla-guide looked at it.  "Maybe, but we go that 
way," he said, pointing off down the trail.

	"I'm surprised Yuuki and Sagano haven't reported 
back yet," Tae-sensei said.  "Do you think this could be 
their tracks?"

	"Why would they wander off the wrong way?" Yuri 
asked.  "The trail is pretty clear."

	"Humans can be pretty dim-witted, but they seemed 
bright enough," the gorilla said.  "Let's press on."

	Lady Harima punched a tree, knocking it down.  
Damn gorilla.  Gorillas were for punching, not for putting 
up with their bad-mouthing humanity.  

	The gorilla guide looked back at her, and she said, 
"Oh, I'm so clumsy, I stumbled into another tree."

	The gorilla turned to Tani-sensei, "I think she needs a 
leash."

	Lady Harima tried to leap at the gorilla from behind, 
but Onna-Harima and Otoko-Eri restrained her, then all got 
embarrassed and jumped away from each other when they 
realized they were rolling around in the dirt together.

	"Also, I think those three are in heat," the gorilla said 
to Tani-sensei.  "Maybe we should find them a cave."

	"This clothing isn't hot at all!" Otoko-Eri protested.  
Given the cold weather, his hunting outfit was actually just 
about right.  

	Onna-Harima's eyes crossed.  

	Lady Harima just grumbled.

	And so they pressed on into the woods.

****************

	"So they went down into the gorge and vanished?" 
Akira asked Miki.

	Miki nodded, staring down off the cliff, worried.  "I 
didn't...we didn't know what to do; they've been gone for 
hours."

	Nara frowned.  "What's that glowing thing?"

	Masahiro said, "I have no idea, but it looks 
dangerous."

	"Dimensional shifting field.  Someone must be 
playing with dangerous artifacts again," Akira said crisply.  
"You two stay here and guard Mr. Hanai.  Nara and I will 
penetrate the other dimension and rescue them."

	"I can fight, I should help," Masahiro said.

	"It's your job to poke Mr. Hanai with sticks every few 
minutes, to ensure he can't meditate and regain enough chi 
to escape," Akira said.

	"HEY!"

	Miki grinned a little ferally.  "With pleasure."

	"Come on, Nara," Akira said.  "Let's go."

*************
	
	Karen moaned softly as Imadori kissed her neck.  He 
was taking off her blouse, his hands roaming along her 
sides.  It was incredibly wonderful, though she had the 
feeling that one of these days, they'd likely get caught, 
doing this at school, like Mai and Tougo had been.  

	If she'd known Tougo was filming them, she'd have 
been less happy.  But what she didn't know couldn't hurt 
her, yet.

	But where else could they do it?  He was so gentle; 
sure, he might flirt with other women the rest of the day, 
but this was his real feelings.  Right?

	Then the door opened and Karasuma strode in.  
"Karen, get dressed.  We're going to another world."

	"..."

	Imadori said, "Wait your turn."

	Fuyuki said, "Sagano and Yuuki need us.  You can 
screw Imadori any time."

	"I..."  Karen looked at Imadori.

	He looked back at her, looking rather angry, but then 
he softened.  "Go," he said.  "Taking care of friends is what 
it's all about, right?"

	She smiled.  He understood.  "Yes," she said softly.

	"Good luck storming the castle," Imadori said.

	"Ninja fortress," Karasuma said pedantically, as he 
shifted from foot to foot impatiently.  "Let's get going."

************

	"Well, we managed to get back to our world with the 
princess," the first ninja began, looking around the woods.

	"Are you sure this is her?  She looks way too busty," 
the second ninja said.

	Tenma smiled a little.  If it could fool ninjas, it would 
certainly fool Imadori.  If she ever got free, anyway.

	"The ring never lies," the first ninja said.  "Now, we 
just have to get back to the fortress."

	"That could be difficult," the third ninja said.

	"Why?" the first asked.

	The third ninja pointed at the heavy cordon of orcs, 
goblins, and trolls now surrounding them.

	"Oh.  Ninja VANISHING TRICK!"  He hurled a 
smoke grenade to the ground.  It bounced off a small bush 
and rolled over, failing to go off.

	"NINJA CRUSHING TRICK!" an ogre shouted, and 
then the beatings began.

***************

	Lala kicked down a tree in a fit of irritation.  
"Dammit," she said.

	"At least it stopped raining," Mikoto said, trying to 
shake herself dry.

	They heard distant footsteps and instinctively hid.

	Sagano and Yuuki came into sight, wearing harem girl 
outfits.  Lala wondered if she'd actually fallen to her death 
and was now hallucinating in her final moments.  Yuuki 
was lightly carrying Hanai in her arms.  

	Lala stepped out.  "Why have you kidnapped Haruki-
kun???"

	Sagano jumped in surprise.  Yuuki adjusted her 
glasses and said, "He was floating down the river and I 
dredged him out and now I'm carrying him.  I'd put him 
down if he had the strength to walk."

	"I'm fine," Hanai mumbled.

	Mikoto came out and rushed over to him.  "I'll take 
him," she said.  She scooped him into her arms, only to fall 
down with him on top of her.  Mikoto was feeling tired, but 
she hadn't realized how tired.

	Yuuki picked him back up.  "Let me handle it."

	"I'll take him," Lala said, stepping forward.  "You 
don't have the right to touch him."

	Yuuki's glasses flashed.  "I have as much right as you 
do.  You don't mind, do you, Hanai?"

	"Please don't fight," he mumbled.  "We need to get 
back and make sure Miki-san and Masahiro-san are okay 
and Dad hasn't tried to put them in a boat to China or 
something."

	"I'm not letting some woman in prostitute garb carry 
off my boyfriend," Lala said, trying to wrench Hanai from 
her.

	Yuuki's leg came up, nailing Lala in the groin with 
more force than Lala would have thought possible, sending 
her flying.  She turned to Sagano, "Hold him."

	Sagano took Hanai.  Lala charged Yuuki, who 
whipped out her slingshot.  "I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!  
HAREM NINJA LIGHTNING SHOT!"  She fired a rock at 
Lala, charging it with electricity and sending it into Lala's 
chest as Lala rose and charged her.  

	Lala was flung back and fell to the ground, twitching.  
"Puta," she mumbled.

	BZZZAAAP!  Lala fell over.  Hanai stared, feeling 
bad for her, even if she had started the fighting.

	"And that's that," Yuuki said.

	"When did you learn to do THAT?" Mikoto said, 
stunned.

	"When I became a harem-ninja," Yuuki said proudly.  
"We're legendary world-saving warriors."

	"So have you been living this secret life for months 
without us knowing or..."

	"We were magically transported to another world, and 
we have to save it to get home," Sagano said.

	"Hmm, maybe that field was a portal...it did seem to 
transport us," Mikoto said.

	"Show us," Sagano said.  "We can't leave yet, but it 
may show us a way home."

	Mikoto picked up Lala.  "This way."  Sagano and 
Yuki followed her off up the river.

**************
	
	Tani-sensei was starting to wonder why the scouts 
hadn't reported in.  And whether Eri and Harima were 
going to jump on each other.  And why he kept hearing 
things moving off in the woods.

	Otoko-Eri had a bad feeling.  He watched the woods 
warily, rifle in hand.  Onna-Harima walked by his side, also 
watching warily.  Lady Harima walked with Lord Fuyuki, 
talking quietly and keeping an eye on the gorilla guide, 
whose name was Grodd.  All she needed was one tiny 
excuse and it would be PUNCHING time.

	Tae-sensei, armed with her staff, and Yuri, armed with 
a sword, flanked Tani-sensei, all three of them just behind 
the gorilla guide.  They both looked tense.  

	"Goblin!" Eri shouted and snapped off a shot, causing 
him to dissolve into dust.

	"Half the forest just heard that," Tani-sensei said, 
slapping his forehead.

	"Dammit," Otoko-Eri said.  

	Now more goblins, trolls, and ogres popped up out of 
hiding.  "Time for the humans to be taken to be sacrificed!" 
one of them shouted.

	Grodd said, "SUCKERS!" and jumped on Tani-sensei, 
knocking him to the ground.  His gorilla costumed ripped 
off, revealing an ogre.

	"How did you fit in that gorilla costume?" Yuri asked 
as she stabbed him, her blade dripping acid into his 
wounds.

	"I sucked in my gut," Ogre Grodd said, now swinging 
Tani-sensei around to batter Yuri with.  

But Yuri leaned back, letting the swing go over her, 
then stabbed Grodd in the legs, even as Tani-Sensei bent 
his legs around to kick Grodd in the face and Tae-sensei 
smacked Grodd in the back of the knees, burning them with 
the flame aura around her staff.  He fell and lost his grip.

	"You sucked in your gut?" Tani-sensei said.  "But 
you're eight feet tall!"

	"Big gut."  

	The arrival of reinforcements left Tani-sensei to deal 
with Grodd on his own while Yuri and Tae-sensei turned to 
deal with other threats.  

	The horde closed in and Eri said, "No point in staying 
transformed.  "ZIM ZIM ZALABIM, TURN THE 
HARIMAS AND ME BACK TO NORMAL!"

	Nothing happened.

	Instead, a little voice said 'Sorceress powers cannot be 
used by male characters.'

	"DAMMIT!" Otoko-Eri shouted, then he began 
shooting onrushing ogres and trolls.

	Lady Harima shouted, "FAKE GORILLA 
CRUSHING PUNCH!" and charged up, socking Grodd 
under the chin and sending him flying, on fire, into a tree.  
It went up and the fire began to spread.

	As the trees burned, Onna-Harima began punching out 
ogres and trolls and goblins, dancing through them in a 
whirlwind of death.  She kicked an ogre in the face, but his 
response was "Polka dot panties, WOO!"

	This embarrassed her enough to stick to the punching.

	And then a squirrel ran up to her.  "The monsters have 
Witch Yakumo captive!" it said to her.

	These things had Yakumo.  They'd do horrible things 
to her!  And Tenma would never forgive her for letting 
Yakumo get hurt.  Yakumo was such a dear friend and 
manga partner too.  Onna-Harima felt her head swim as it 
tried to decide if Yakumo was her girlfriend or not.  Maybe 
she had a girlfriend and a boyfriend.  That made the most 
sense, really.  But was Eri...was Eri sometimes a girl?  It 
was all very confusing, and the important thing was that 
Yakumo was in danger and counting on her.

	It was killing time.  "I'M COMING, YAKUMO!" she 
shouted and charged off down the path with the squirrel on 
her shoulder.

	For a moment, all was silent.

	Then Eri shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  
DON'T RUN OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT!"  He 
ran after her.

	Soon, the whole group, foes and allies alike, were 
chasing Onna-Harima down the path.  

*************

	Masked Wrestler Laladora was pacing back and forth 
nervously.  "We cannot wait any longer!" she announced.

	"Exactly," Martial Artist Hanai said to her.  "Lala is 
never wrong in her instincts!"

	She smacked him in the head.  "You aren't supposed 
to recognize me when I'm masked!"

	"Yes, dear," he said.

	"And don't call me dear!  I'm not your lover!  Karen is 
my one true love!" Masked Wrestler Laladora shouted.

	Ninja Master Akira snickered, then pulled her Cabana 
boy, Nara, a little closer.  He laughed softly, then peeled 
her a grape.  

	"I think Wrestler Karen prefers Lord Imadori," Martial 
Artist Mikoto pointed out.  "Why don't you two just sit 
down and join us in the game?"  

	They were still playing poker.

	"They're almost here," Priestess Sara said.  

	Witch Yakumo began freshening up; you looked less 
wise if you looked messy.  

	"Lala-chaaaaan!" Martial Artist Hanai said, piteously.

	"STOP BOTHERING ME!"  *PUNT*

	Ninja Master Akira watched Martial Artist Hanai fly.  
"Well, THIS is going to be messy."

	Now I see how they find us, Priestess Sara thought.

*************

	"Akira?" Hanai asked in confusion.

	She looked at him, and for a moment, he saw pain in 
her eyes.  Then they cooled and she said, "Got the beating 
you deserved for your unfaithfulness?"

	"Sack it," Yuuki said.  "This is OUR fight with each 
other, not yours."

	Akira stared at her in surprise.  The mouse roars.  
"Well, I have to approve of your locking up your father.  
Have any of you seen Yakumo and Sara?"

	"Locking up my father?" Hanai asked in confusion.  

	"Not yet," Sagano said.  "Are they here?"

	"Maybe.  Their GPS stopped working," Akira said.  "I 
have to find them, make sure they're okay."

	"Why is Yakumo here?" Hanai asked.

	"Looking for her boyfriend," Akira said.  "Probably 
kidnapped now."  She sighed.

	Hanai leaped to his feet.  "We must save her!"

	"Oh, NOW you function okay," Mikoto said, frowning 
a little.  "But yes, we should help find her."

	"There's more of us here; we should go find them," 
Sagano said.  "Follow me, okay?"  She paused.  "We're 
gonna need more harem-ninja costumes, I think."

	"I am a Ninja Master," Akira said.  "Mikoto and Lala's 
martial arts outfits should be fine."  She wished she'd 
known enough in advance to call Karasuma.

	"But you can dress Hanai as a cabana boy," Akira 
finished.  She looked down at Nara.  "Nara, we need a 
special costume for you.  You'd look good as a cabana boy, 
but I'm not going to let anyone but me know how good you 
would look in that."  She felt the urge to praise him 
publically.   

	He blushed, and Sagano went, "Oooooh."

	"Hmm.  Maybe some kind of archer," Mikoto 
speculated.

	Yuuki nodded. "Well, let's get going.  The others will 
want to see you.  Maybe we'll even find them at the 
temple!"

	"LALA-CHAAAAANNN!!!!!!!" Martial Artist Hanai 
bellowed as he crashed down out of the sky, crushing 
Yuuki and Hanai beneath his weight.

	Lala blinked in confusion.  "What the hell?"

	Martial Artist Hanai picked himself up, helped Yuuki 
and Hanai up, then said, "My apologies.  You must be the 
heroes from another world we've been waiting for."

	"Yes, we are," Nara said a little proudly.

	Martial Artist Hanai looked at Nara, then said, 
"Shouldn't you be wearing less clothing?  You can hardly 
tap your powers that way."

	"What?" Nara asked in confusion.

	"Who are YOU?" Hanai asked.  "You look like me."

	"Transdimensional equivalent," Martial Artist Hanai 
said, putting his glasses back on.  He turned back to Nara, 
"Users of magic become more powerful the less clothing 
they wear, you see.  You being a Cabana boy, you need to 
at least strip to the waist.  The same for Sorceresses, 
Witches, Harem Ninjas, and so on."

	"..."

	Akira's eyes crossed.  "I need to take most of my 
clothing off to use magical power?"  She sounded 
uncharacteristically nervous.  "With people watching?"

	"Regular Shadow Ninjas have to wear their ninja garb 
to use their abilities fully," Martial Artist Hanai said.  "The 
same for Wrestlers, Masked Wrestlers like Lala-chan, 
Martial Artists, Swordsmen, etc, they all have ritual garb 
which clearly identifies their role."

	Lala-chan, Lala thought.  This extradimensional 
equivalent of Hanai must be in love with my equivalent.  
And not afraid to say it.  SHE IS SO LUCKY.

	He looked over at her and went all goofy.  "Why Lala-
chan, what are you doing here?" he said, glasses fogging 
over.

	Akira felt relieved; she looked down at Nara, who 
looked almost...disappointed.  "Were you hoping to see me 
half-naked?" she whispered.

	Nara blushed.  Not that he had any good reason to, 
having seen her naked, but you have to go with your 
strengths.  

	That answered that.  "Well, if we can put the fool's 
brain back together, we can find out how to let you use 
your powers here," she whispered to him.  "Reluctant as I 
am to flaunt you."  

	Lala looked indecisively at the floundering Martial 
Artist Hanai.  Having a Hanai who wanted her...but he 
seemed so flakey.  Well, best to be non-commital and see.  
"Walk with me," she said.  "And tell me more about this 
world."

	He suddenly snapped rational again.  "Here, everyone 
follow me this way.  I'll take you to the rest of the Queen's 
Defenders who came out here with us."

	"Queen's Defenders?" Mikoto asked.

	"Well, technically, we're junior defenders in training," 
Martial Artist Hanai said.  "Attending school with the 
Princess so we can defend her when she inherits.  Anyway, 
please come with me, everyone.  We have to make haste or 
the plot will finish without us!"

*************

	The ninja fortress was on fire.  This was because 
Fuyuki was standing on top of a stone practice pillar 
throwing fireballs from his hands and shouting, "I AM 
THE HUMAN TORCH, OH YEAH!"

	Karen looked up at him and frowned.  "Won't he get 
tired quickly from using all that chi?" she asked Karasuma.

	He was busy decapitating ninjas, who promptly 
evaporated.  Finally, he said, "The fire keeps the ninjas too 
dispersed to overwhelm us."

	"But we haven't even found a ninja who knows where 
Tsukamoto-san is," Karen said, grabbing two ninjas by the 
hand and spinning on one foot to hurl them into an 
onrushing mass.  

	Karasuma frowned.  Ninjas had taken her, so where 
was she?  Shouldn't they have gone to the ninja fortress?  
Did they come here for nothing?

	"I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!!!!!" Fuyuki 
shouted.  Flames rushed over a wave of Iga Ninja, who 
began bursting like firecrackers.

	No wonder he and Sagano are destined for each other, 
Karasuma thought.  He'd never seen power go to someone's 
head so quickly.  BUT WHERE IS TENMA-CHAN?

*************

	Satsuki had managed to grab a stick with her toes.  
She wasn't quite sure how this would translate into an 
escape, but surely it would be good for something.  A 
couple of the others had hidden guns, she knew.

	 There had to be something they could do, anyway.

	Ogre Lord Tennouji, a great man-mountain of an ogre, 
was stomping around, studying his victims, when a group 
of orcs entered, carrying someone who looked sort of like 
Tenma.  After chest surgery, anyway.

	"This is Princess Tenma," the orc said.

	"I thought she was flat."

	"Apparently she had magical implants done," the orc 
said.

	Sorceress Eri flailed about, but she was gagged too 
much to do anything.  Yakumo looked at the girl; it looked 
like her big sister, but she was...bigger.  She couldn't grow 
that much so fast, could she?

	"Sister, is that you?" Yakumo asked.

	"Hi, sis!" Tenma said, waving.  "I see you still haven't 
found Kenji!  Is he on his way to save us?"

	"Of course," Yakumo said, hoping she was right.

	They tied Tenma to a pillar and Tennouji studied her.  
"How did you get so busty, princess?"

	Sasakura-sensei got tied up next to Itoko.  "Hey 
there," she said.  "Another fine mess you got us in."

	"I'll get us out," Itoko bluffed.

	"My purity of heart shows in the size of my bust!  It 
gives more room for my heart!" Tenma proclaimed.  
"WORSHIP IT!"

	Tennouji laughed.  "You're cute.  We'll keep you."  He 
untied her, only to have her begin flailing away at him.  He 
found this hilarious, as her blows were virtually painless to 
him.  "I like you.  Spirit is good.  You'll make a good 
bride."

	"..."  Tenma stared in shock.

	"You can't make my sister marry you!" Yakumo said.

	"Sure I can," Tennouji said.  "And when I call down 
the power of Jammanderu, OH WHAT A WEDDING 
FEAST IT WILL BE."

	This caused many of those present to turn just a 
LITTLE green.

	The orcs and trolls and ogres and goblins and kobolds 
began to cavort and dance and sing.

Sometimes, the world is black.
And tears run from your eyes.
And maybe we'll all get really sick.
And maybe we'll all die.
So...

Let's build a snowman!
We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Tom or we can name him George!
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.
Snowman!  	
	
	Ogre Lord Tennouji said, "THAT'S THE WRONG 
SONG!"

	All fell silent.  Few things angered Ogre Lord 
Tennouji more than people starting the WRONG song and 
dance routine.  This tended to make him very angry.

	"Umm, what song do you desire, Lord and Master?"

	"ANYTHING actually RELATED to cannibal feasts!"  
Tennouji waved his fists in the air.

	"How about 'Human Flesh Is Really Neat / It Tastes 
Just Like Turtle Meat'?" a troll asked.

	"That's a good start."

	They had to switch positions to get everyone into the 
right star formation.  Tenma was impressed by the 
choreography, if not by the choice of lyrics.  But all she 
could do for now was to watch.

************

	Mikoto felt a little nervous, facing her other self.  
Especially since that other self...seemed to be dating Lord 
Imadori.  What was wrong with that woman????  But then, 
her boyfriend's other dimensional self seemed to have a 
thing for Lala, so...

	So it was REALLY ANNOYING.  Watching any 
version of her boyfriend hit on Lala made her worry about 
her own boyfriend.  At least he was back on his feet and not 
in Yuuki's arms any longer.  

	She tightened her grip on him, watching Martial Artist 
Hanai flirt with Lala, who seemed to be starting to fall for 
it.

	Akira said to Ninja Master Akira, "We'll need the 
appropriate...costumes."  Her eyes slid over to Cabana Boy 
Nara, who she noticed looked rather stronger than her own.  
She tried to make herself not stare.

	Ninja Master Akira seemed amused.  "Yes.  We can 
supply you with outfits."

	Akira assessed the people available.  Wrestler Karen 
and Masked Wrestler 'Laladora'...was that supposed to 
somehow fool people?  They would fight well.  Martial 
Artists Hanai and Mikoto, also likely good fighters, though 
Martial Artist Hanai would need leading by the nose.  
Witch Yakumo would be useful, along with Cabana Boy 
Nara.  Cabana Boy Imadori would make good cannon 
fodder, anyway.

	Hopefully, this would prove army enough.

************

	The orcs had just begun their counterpoint of 'Give me 
the Longshanks' against the troll melody of 'Gonna munch 
me an arm and a leg / hang the rest up on a peg', when 
Onna-Harima's screaming finally overrode the loud 
singing.  They all froze as she burst in through the secret 
back entrance, then shouted, "ANYONE WHO HURT 
YAKUMO-SAN IS GOING TO DIE!"

	Yakumo felt a swell of joy at that.  You couldn't 
question that kind of devotion, could you?  She could 
see...wait, this was a woman, who looked kind of like 
Kenji...was Kenji a woman in this universe?  And yet...She 
could see the woman's thoughts; they were full of anger 
about her, Yakumo, being in danger.  Maybe Kenji  had 
disguised himself again; it was a really good disguise.

	Orcs poured towards her, chanting in iambic 
pentameter; she began punching them into the heavens 
where they glowed like stars and vanished.  Behind her, 
another female version of Harima, better dressed, charged 
in, along with a masculine version of Eri.  Tae-sensei and 
some woman Yakumo didn't know were next, both in 
skimpy clothing, followed by Fuyuki and Tani-sensei, also 
in skimpy clothing, different from that of the women.  
Yakumo felt her eyes track their movements; they seemed 
very attractive to her, which embarrassed her.  She didn't 
want her thoughts to stray from Kenji...whichever was her 
Kenji.

	Tennouji raised Tenma over his head.  "I have the 
princess!  If you attack, she dies!"

	Both Harimas froze up in panic and confusion.

	"Hi, everyone!" Tenma said.  "I'm sorry we got 
captured!  I TRIED to stay home like Akira-chan told me 
but the ninjas took me and then the orcs took them and..."

	The rescuers froze, trying to decide what to do.  
Satsuki managed to flick her stick into her hand while 
everyone was distracted, not that she knew what to do with 
it.  Though...she could almost see...something about the 
manacle locks...  She tried to focus on it.

	Tae-sensei handed her staff to the woman Satsuki 
didn't know, then strode forwards.  "Now, now, I'm sure we 
can come to some sort of peaceful solution.  Wouldn't you 
rather have a beautiful, mature adult woman instead of a 
child hostage?"  She moved in ways that emphasized her 
attributes and Satsuki felt intensely jealous for a moment.  
Doubly so when she saw Suga staring at her.  

	Stupid boyfriend, she thought.  There really was 
nothing to be done but to pick the lock and go over and 
kick his ass.  So she started picking the lock with her stick 
on instinct.

	Ogre Lord Tennouji watched her advance.  "You're 
too tall and old looking.  I like them short and child-like."

	A pedo-pedo ogre lord, Satsuki thought, gagging.  She 
slipped out of her bonds and made her way over to Suga, 
then began beating him with her stick, while everyone 
watched Tae and Tennouji.  "Stupid boyfriend, LUST FOR 
ME!"

	"Free Itoko," he hissed.  "She can shoot the rest of us 
loose!"

	Tae-sensei stared at Tennouji in shock.  "But...if 
you're pedo-pedo, wouldn't you want a flatter chested 
woman?"

	"I AM NOT PEDO-PEDO!" Ogre Lord Tennouji 
howled.  He raised Tenma like a club to hit Tae-sensei.  "I 
DO NOT HAVE A FOOT OBSESSION!"

	Everything went silent, partly for drama, partly as 
everyone struggled to parse that.

	"That would be Podo-Podo, right?" Tae-sensei said, 
turning back to Tani-sensei.

	"It's a greek root used to make some English words," 
Tani-sensei lectured.  "A Podiatrist is a foot doctor.  A 
Pediatrician treats children.  Pedo-Pedo is a cutesy way to 
say 'Pedophilia', which means 'lover of Children', you see.  
A Lolita complex pervert."

	Satsuki snuck over and began trying to pick the locks 
on Itoko with her stick.  It wasn't easy.

	"I just appreciate the innocence of childhood and the 
tastiness of child flesh, dammit!" Ogre Lord Tennouji said.  
"NOW DIE FOR INSULTING ME!"  He began to lower 
Tenma like a club on Tae-sensei, having forgotten which 
hand held her.

	"PRINCESS!"  Lady Harima shouted.

	"TENMA-SAN!!!!!!" Onna-Harima screamed.

	They leaped forward to save her...

	Collided in mid-air...

	And fell to the ground in a heap; trolls and ogres and 
orcs began to dogpile them.

	Otoko-Eri levelled his rifle and prayed he could snipe 
Tennouji's hand to make him drop Tenma without hurting 
Tenma.  But could he take that risk?

	Tae-sensei tried to dart in and grab Tenma from him, 
only to end up being grabbed.  This did save Tenma from a 
collision.  Ogre Lord Tennouji tucked her into his belt to 
free a hand and got ready to just strangle Tae.

	Yuri felt her heart pound, her blood throbbing in her 
veins, an anger the likes of which she had rarely felt.  She 
got ready to charge, but Tanisa grabbed her and hurled her 
over the foes between them and Tennouji, sending her, 
swords in hand, at him.  "LET HER GO!" Yuri shouted and 
then crashed into Tennouji's upper torso, her arms slashing 
to cut his arms badly.  He lost his grip on Tae and Yuri 
grabbed her, flippng up away from his grasp.

	Tae leaned against Yuri as they flipped away from 
Tennouji.  "I can't believe I managed to do that," Yuri 
mumbled.

	Tae touched Yuri's breast above her heart.  "You 
always had the strength within."  She kissed Yuri's cheek.  
"It's time for us to save the kids."

	They landed smoothly and Tani-sensei joined them as 
Yuri passed Tae back her staff.  "Time to deal with the 
delinquents," Tani-sensei said.  "TIME TO SHOW THEM 
WHY YOU DON'T MESS WITH MY CLASS!"  He 
charged with the ladies flanking him.

	Itoko then drew her pistols and began shooting the 
locks off the captives.  "TEA CLUB, RALLY TO ME!" 
she shouted.

	That's when the total mayhem started.
	
	Yakumo charged over to the Harimas.  "Kenji-kun!"

	"What?" they both answered.  She could see whirls of 
thoughts around their heads; they were worried about her, 
but also...Tenma...the Princess...Eri...Sorceress Eri...  She 
couldn't quite tell who was on their minds the most.  
But...her sister...she loomed so large in their thoughts...

	"Why are you both dressed as women?" she asked, 
trying to figure out how to ask what she really wanted to 
know.

	"It's HIS fault," they said, pointing at Otoko-Eri.  

	"Stop talking and start fighting!" Otoko-Eri shouted at 
them, even as Sorceress Eri came up.

	"My extradimensional self is a GUY?" Sorceress Eri 
asked in shock.

	"I'm normally a woman!  And they're supposed to be 
men!  But we got stuck!  Turn us back to normal!" Otoko-
Eri demanded.

	Sorceress Eri shouted, "CREO IGNEM!" and fried an 
onrushing wave of orcs.  "I need my mana for fighting!  I'll 
turn you all back later."

	"I DO NOT WANT TO BE A GUY!" Otoko-Eri said, 
looming over Sorceress Eri.

	"SHINING WIZARD!" Sorceress Eri shouted, and a 
huge burst of light erupted around her, sending Otoko-Eri 
onto his ass.  "Don't get fresh with me, perverted other 
dimensional self!"

	"PERVERTED?  FRESH?" Otoko-Eri shouted, rising 
to his feet.

	"HEY!" Onna-Harima said.  "Don't hit my...him!"  I'm 
going crazy, she thought.  He's not my boyfriend, I have a 
girlfriend and he's really a woman, anyway!

	Okay, this is going to go to hell, Lady Harima thought.  
"Yo, Ojou, stop being an idiot who blasts our friends!"

	"Me?  Idiot?  I WILL SHOW YOU IDIOT!  MUTO 
INTELLECTO!"  She hurled the curse of extreme stupidity 
at Lady Harima in a fit of pique.

	Fortunately, it couldn't actually make Lady Harima 
any stupider than she already was, and thus had no effect.  
Can't hit a girl, she grumbled.  But wait, I'm a girl!  And 
girls can hit each other!  "I'M A WOMAN SO THE 
GLOVES ARE OFF!"  She charged at Sorceress Eri.

	"But...you're really a...aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!"  
Sorceress Eri went flying.  

	While the Eris and Harimas beat each other up, Sara 
pulled her holy pistols and began carving herself a path 
through the onrushing hordes, which seemed to get ever 
larger.  Satsuki, Suga, and Asou armed themselves from 
weapons dropped by those she took out, and covered her as 
she carved a path over to Itoko, who had freed Sasakura-
sensei.  They were soon joined by Yuri, Tani-sensei, and 
Tae-sensei.  Together, they worked on fighting off the 
screaming hordes which kept pouring forwards.  
	
	Tenma, however, was still captive, and Yakumo tried 
to get the Eris and Harimas to stop fighting each other; 
they'd gone to full bore brawl mode by this point.

	Ogre Lord Tennouji went up to the altar and sent for 
some more sacrificial victims from the vaults.  It was time 
to call the power of Jammanderu and to marry his new 
bride.  Tenma tried again to wiggle loose to no effect.

	"What happened to our scouts," Tani-sensei mumbled, 
wondering where they went.

	"They probably stopped to make out," Tae-sensei 
suggested as she hacked off a troll's head and punted four 
kobolds into an onrushing enemy line.

	"I wish that was less plausible," Tani-sensei mumbled.

	"Please," Yakumo begged.  "You all have to stop 
fighting each other!  I can't save 'neechan by myself!"

	The Harimas had each other in headlocks, while 
Otoko-Eri had pinned Sorceress Eri and was busy pounding 
her into the dust.  They kept on fighting.

	Begging wasn't enough.  "Tenma-neechan is in 
danger!  Please!"

	Otoko-Eri and Onna-Harima both looked up, as if 
coming out of a haze.  "She is?" Onna-Harima asked as 
Lady Harima tried to pin her face with one foot.

	Otoko-Eri looked up.  "She's going to be sacrificed!"

	Onna-Harima stared.  "TENMA!"  She wiggled loose 
and charged towards Tennouji.

	"No, we can't take him singlehandedly!" Otoko-Eri 
said too late.

	Then Sorceress Eri rose behind him and kicked him in 
the balls.  "That's for making me eat dust!"

	Otoko-Eri collapsed, moaning.

	"No, we have to fight together!" Yakumo said 
desperately.

	Onna-Harima leaped at Ogre Lord Tennouji, who 
casually swatted her away, sending her crashing into a 
pillar.  She fell down, stunned.

	"KENJI-KUN!" Tenma said in horror.  Her face 
darkened and she wiggled around to bite Ogre Lord 
Tennouji with all her might.

	Not enough.  He laughed.  "You'll make a good ogre 
princess," he said.  "Nice foreplay."

	She spat out the hideous taste of ogre and looked ill.

	"I won't take disrespect from your boyfriend here," 
Sorceress Eri said to Yakumo.  

	Otoko-Eri and Yakumo stared at each other, then said 
in unison, "We're not dating!!!  What gives you that crazy 
idea????"

	Lady Harima saw Tennouji.  "THE PRINCESS!"  She 
charged off.

	"No, wait!" Yakumo said.

	It was too late; she got knocked into the stunned 
Onna-Harima, stunning her more.

	"And you tried to steal my shtick!  Stick to your own 
magic!" Sorceress Eri said to Yakumo.

	"But I don't...I don't know how witches work here," 
Yakumo mumbled.

	"What kind of terrible education did you have, 
anyway?" Sorceress Eri asked.

	"Try saying 'Zim Zim Zalabim' and making a wish," 
Otoko-Eri said to Yakumo.

	"That's my OTHER SHTICK!" Sorceress Eri 
protested.  "Witches see what people are thinking, then 
influence their minds and talk to animals and control nature 
and make nasty potions and fly around on brooms.  What 
kind of crazy witch training did they give you?"

	"But, I can only sort of read minds if people like me," 
Yakumo mumbled.

	"YOU READ MINDS?" Otoko-Eri said in shock, then 
tried to cover his head somehow.

	Sorceress Eri rubbed her brow as their allies fought 
eternal waves of orcs and trolls and ogres and goblins and 
XVARTS.  LOTS OF XVARTS.  Bet you don't know what 
those are.  Hah!  Won't tell you, either.  Yeah.  "Those are 
the easy ones.  But a real witch can talk to animals, even."

	But Kenji talks to animals, Yakumo thought.  Can he 
read minds? But he was scared when he thought I could...  
"But...how?"

	"I don't know; I'm not a witch, I'm a sorceress.  We 
beat reality into submission by running around half-naked 
to absorb magical energy, then using it to make reality sit 
up and beg for treats.  You just...as I understand it, you 
have to know how to really listen.  That's what Witch 
Yakumo always says before I have to blow up something 
she's sent to eat my socks," Sorceress Eri said.

	How to really listen, Yakumo thought.  She was 
usually pretty quiet because she preferred listening to 
speaking.  In part because she often didn't have much to 
say.  She stared at Ogre Lord Tennouji, trying to listen.

	There was, for a moment, a flicker around his head, 
and she forced her panic down, her fear and let her love for 
her sister guide her.  Tenma's thoughts shone like a beacon-
-she was determined to escape so she could stop Tennouji 
calling Jammanderu and hurting her friends and protect her 
sister.  Her own safety wasn't an issue for her.

	Big sister is so noble, Yakumo thought.  Even now, 
she thinks of me.  Of me...  Yakumo felt a thought tickle 
her mind.  I can read her thoughts because they're reaching 
out to me; I'm always in big sister's mind, in Sara's mind.  
And when others think of me...  So I have to make him 
think of me, somehow.

	"Can you amplify my voice?" she asked Sorceress Eri.  
	
	"What are you thinking?" Otoko-Eri asked 
suspiciously.

	"Yes.  MUTO SONUM!" Sorceress Eri shouted.

	"Ogre Lord Tennouji," Yakumo's soft voice boomed 
across the battlefield.  "If you do not cease your 
incantation, I will curse you with the curse of six thousand 
and three leeches."  An empty threat, but macho guys like 
him couldn't stand down from that.

	He stared at her.  "You have shown little power." But 
she could see flickers of his thoughts now...chants, the 
ritual knives, the ways he prepared his sacrificial victims 
with blood drawings...  "I do not fear you."  But he did.  
For all wise men feared the witch who knew their secrets.

	She felt a catty presence, and then he leaped onto her 
shoulders, Iori, her dear cat.  How did he get here?   But 
that was not the problem.  "Wise men fear witches," she 
said.  She seized a fragment of thought.  "For example, I 
might tell your followers which ones of them you think 
look tasty."

	That sent a ripple of fear and suspicion through the 
ranks of Tennouji's horde.  "I am not going to eat my own 
followers!" he shouted.  "We will feast together on tasty 
manflesh.  CAJUN STYLE."

	"We both know what 'How to Serve Orckind' is really 
about," Yakumo said, growing more confident; as she did, 
his thoughts became more clear to her, even as they became 
more troubled.  "In the end, all will go into your belly."  
Her voice became a little louder, audibly offended.

	The Harimas peeled themselves off the ground.  

	"Don't listen to the witch!  They're full of lies!" 
Tennouji shouted.  "WILL NO ONE RID ME OF THIS 
MEDDLING WITCH?"

	Far away, Henry II got a royalty payment.  

	A squad of hungry gnolls charged towards Yakumo; 
Sorceress Eri raised her hands and began to chant; flames 
roared up, forcing them to circle around, while Otoko-Eri 
began to snipe them with her rifle.

	But unseen by them, a group of kobolds was moving 
up on her, even though many of Tennouji's followers were 
wavering.  

	But the Harimas saw them.  Onna-Harima froze...Eri 
and Yakumo were in danger...but Tenma was a 
captive...she couldn't try to save them both.  Her head 
whipped back and forth indecisively.

	Lady Harima was about to spring into action when 
more trolls rushed them, forcing her to fight.  "DO 
SOMETHING," she shouted at Onna-Harima.

	Tennouji was trying to make the frantic Tenma settle 
down.  "Calm, my bride.  I will have time for you soon 
enough."

	"KARASUMA IS THE MAN I WILL MARRY, NOT 
YOU!" Tenma shouted.

	Onna-Harima felt her heart shatter at that.  She loved 
him that much, the evil little...but surely her pure heart 
could not be fooled so much.  Not even by Karasuma.  She 
could never say that if she didn't love him...she knew 
Tenma too well.

	The kobolds drew closer.  Though she wanted to curl 
in a ball and cry herself to death, Eri and Yakumo were in 
danger.  The boy who loved her and the girl who was her 
girlfriend.  Sort of.  They loved her; Tenma couldn't love 
her, not like that.  Her special love was given to Karasuma.  
Tenma cared for her, but not like a lover.  "Save Tenma-
chan," she said to Lady Harima, then she leaped up into a 
tree and jumped over the flame and the gnolls to land on 
the kobolds, punting them everywhere.  

	All of her rage and frustration went into crushing the 
kobolds, who burst into dust with every punch and kick, 
which she dished out in all directions.  At least she couldn't 
think about Tenma loving Karasuma while she was 
slaughtering little dog-reptile-men-things.  

	Otoko-Eri saw Lady Harima charging to the rescue of 
Tenma.  He held his fire and waited, then, when Lady 
Harima was about to launch a flying kick at Tennouji, she 
aimed a shot at the elbow of the arm Ogre Lord Tennouji 
held Tenma with.  He swatted Lady Harima aside like a 
chump, but he was distracted enough that Otoko-Eri's shot 
hit.  He yelled and dropped Tenma, who began running 
with Ogre Lord Tennouji chasing her.

	Unfortunately, interrupting the ritual was not the safest 
of things.  Do not call up what you have not finished 
making dinner for, as they say.  The hungry cannibal spirit 
of Jammanderu descended upon the putative sacrifices, 
who rose from the altar.  "BRAIIIIIIINNNNSSSS!!!!!"  
They began attacking both sides of the conflict, and chasing 
Tenma and Ogre Lord Tennouji.

	We need more muscle, Otoko-Eri thought.  But all 
their other people were pinned down fighting the endless 
hordes and couldn't easily get away to join up with her.  If 
only Mikoto was here...

	"BANZAI!"  Two Mikotos in gis dropped from the 
sky and kicked Tennouji in the face, even as a pair of 
Hanais swept his legs from behind and twin Akiras slid out 
of the shadows and stabbed his huge gut while twin Naras 
held off the pursuing undead, aided by two very differently 
dressed Lalas and one Karen.  

	Then Sagano leaped down, grabbed Tenma, and 
sprang away with her, while Yuuki laid down a covering 
fire.  Witch Yakumo now strode out of the chaos, coming 
up to Yakumo.  "Hello, other-me," she said softly.  "Nicely 
done, earlier."

	Yakumo blushed slightly.  "Thank you, other-me."

	"I will show you more about our powers, later.  But 
for now, we must bring this to an end."  Witch Yakumo 
smiled in a quietly confident way that Yakumo wished she 
felt.  "Call them; your Harima will help you."

	"Help what?" Onna-Harima asked.  

	"Call the animals.  They will finish turning the tide."

	"But...I don't know how to talk to them," Yakumo 
said.

	"He knows; he will help you, if you bring your minds 
together," Witch Yakumo said softly and almost excitedly.

	Yakumo turned to Onna-Harima nervously; Onna-
Harima knocked out the last kobold and turned to her.  "So 
how does this work?"

	Otoko-Eri folded his arms and frowned; he didn't want 
to see something bring those two closer together.  But he 
could swallow it if it was necessary.  

	"Take her hand," Witch Yakumo said as the battle 
raged on behind them.

	Onna-Harima did so nervously; Yakumo could feel 
her thoughts; she was wondering if her boyfriend was 
going to get angry with her doing this with her girlfriend.  
The whole thing was a huge mental mess, really, especially 
as she could feel Onna-Harima scream at herself for 
thinking of Eri as her 'boyfriend'.  He was just a friend boy, 
really.

	What is happening to my boyfriend, Yakumo 
wondered, feeling a sudden panic.  It was so much easier to 
read his thoughts and yet they were so incoherent and 
strange and what had done this to him?

	It got worse when Otoko-Eri strode up and took Onna-
Harima's other hand.  "I'll help."

	Witch Yakumo frowned a moment, but Yakumo felt 
Onna-Harima grow calmer, as if some sort of balance had 
been restored.  Witch Yakumo said, "You must bring your 
minds together, then call the animals."

	Onna-Harima licked her lips nervously, while 
Yakumo nodded.  Otoko-Eri tried to figure out how to 
bring minds together, so he tried focusing on just thinking 
about the two of them.

	Onna-Harima imagined herself as Aquaman, then 
realized the fish would all die.  Then she felt guilty for 
calling fish to their doom.  Go back fish!  Before it's too 
late!  

	Yakumo looked over at Onna-Harima's thoughts and 
tried to match them.  It was like reaching for the wind, but 
then...the wind caught her and she fell into Onna-Harima's 
mind.

	She was so utterly confused, trying to not think about 
Tenma, trying to...  And Yakumo understood; it was almost 
enough to kick her out of Onna-Harima's mind.  Kenji had 
been in love with Tenma, and now he was trying to forget 
her, Yakumo realized.  But in his current state, his feelings 
were all tangled up.  He had...feelings for both of them, but 
they'd been stunted, growing only in the shadows, because 
his love for Tenma had consumed him.  But now...what a 
mess inside his mind.

	She would worry about that later.  Holding his mind 
with hers, she looked over to Eri; she could feel the 
existence of his thoughts, but couldn't see them.  And 
yet...his mind reached out to Kenji's mind, and she was in 
Kenji's mind.  So she reached through Kenji, let Eri's love 
for Kenji open her mind to Kenji's, and thus to Yakumo.

	It was too much; the sudden sensations of maleness, 
the desire that burned so hot and Eri's own confusion over 
it, feelings hidden behind feelings.  Eri couldn't admit how 
he felt or hide from it.  It was too much for Yakumo to 
handle; she was already straining herself to the limit.  She 
held on desperately, then nudged Kenji.

	Onna-Harima shouted, "Animals of the Forest, Please 
Help Us!  Help us and we will help you in turn!"

	And then the animals poured out of the woods and 
washed over the horde of monsters in a great hungry tide.  
And Yakumo let go of the union of minds and slumped into 
Onna-Harima's arms as the power went out of her.  Sleep 
was a blessing.

************** 

	Karen washed her hands.  "I've still got ninja stains, no 
matter how hard I scrub."

	"Maybe we need to use a little bleach," Fuyuki said.

	"On SKIN?" Karen asked dubiously.

	"I'll find us magical soap later," Karasuma said, 
pacing.  "We have to find Tenma-chan."

	"But how?" Fuyuki asked.  "We don't know where to 
look."  He began scrubbing his hands also.

	Karasuma didn't know.  He couldn't feel the flow of 
events now, not after abandoning his neutrality out of 
impatience and panic.  He sighed.  "We're going to have to 
head to the capital and consult Buddha the Seer."

	"Man, we're gonna miss a lot of class."

	"With no teacher and hardly any students, I don't think 
it'll be a very big problem," Karasuma said.

	"I'm sure Kyousuke-kun will take care of them all," 
Karen said.

	One way or another, Karasuma thought.

**************

	Mai finished running the tape, and the images of 
Imadori and Karen making out faded.  "As you can see, 
they're in violation of the school's behavior codes and must 
be removed from office."

	The principal said, "Hmm, we've been thinking about 
adding a sex education course anyway.  He seems well 
qualified to teach it."

	"..."  Mai stared mindlessly, unable to speak.

	"But sir, he..." Tougo began.

	"I'm sure we can increase our recruiting quotas if 
people know they will get laid here," the principal said, 
sipping his tea.  

	"..."

	"But we were kicked out of office for having sex!" 
Tougo protested.

	"Did anyone catch you on tape?  It could be 
educational."

	"..."  Mai felt herself shrinking down into a tiny ball.  
Tougo simply looked stunned.

	"Sir, they said the school security cameras..."

	"Hmm.  Very good, then.  I'll have to see about getting 
this organized," the principal said.

	Do not count on principal for next plan, Tougo 
thought.  I need to remember that.

**************

	"Right here," Sagano said to the squirrel, pointing to a 
patch of ground.  It dug up some nuts, then chittered and 
ran off.

	She leaned against a tree.  "If I have to do one more 
nut-finding sidequest, I AM GOING TO GO CRAZY," 
	
	Yuuki laughed softly.  "Well, with so many people we 
can pay the animals back faster."

	"I want some excitement," Sagano said.  "My blade 
hungers for things which will go poof."  She idly wiggled, 
using the rough bark to scratch her back.

	Yuuki briefly watched Sagano's chest jiggle, then said, 
"I've had enough excitement for one day, though it was 
kind of cool."

	"Yeah, these animal jobs are pretty safe," Yuuki said.  
"We..."

	She was interrupted by a Lala surprise attack.  
"REVENGE!" Lala shouted, seizing Yuuki and leaping up 
into the air, preparing to piledrive her into the dirt.

	Then Yuuki slingshotted Lala at point blank range.  
BZZZAAAAAPPPP!!!!! 

	The good was that Lala was stunned, losing her grip.

	The bad was that now she was falling out of the sky 
with a stunned Lala on top.  WHAM.

	"You okay?" Sagano said.

	Masked Wrestler Laladora stepped out of the woods, 
grabbed Lala's feet and dragged her off.  "I'm going to have 
to teach you the right way, I see..." she said as she ambled 
off with Lala.

	"Well, that is that," Yuuki said, standing up and 
dusting herself off.  

	"I can't forgive you for hurting my Lala!" Martial 
Artist Hanai shouted, now dropping down out of a tree.  
"You will pay!" he said.  "I challenge you!"

	"I AM NOT YOUR LALA," Masked Wrestler 
Laladora shouted from the underbrush as she left.  "And 
they didn't hurt me."

	"As they say, if you cannot be with the Lala you love, 
love the Lala you're with," Masked Wrestler Hanai said.  

	"Whatever," Yuuki said, slingshotting him.  However, 
he took the bzaaaap as a minor annoyance and rushed her.  
She had to dodge and leap and bounce to stay out of his 
reach.  "Sagano, help me!"

	"This is your fight," Sagano said.  "You're the one 
who climbed into the Hanai pile.  But I won't let him kill 
you."

	That was cold comfort.  She tried switching to a fire 
shot, but that hardly phased him.  She kept on retreating, 
using her mobility to stay out of his reach for the most part; 
every blow felt like a hammer.

	Finally, she crashed into a clearing, sending panicked 
butterflies into the air.  Sara said, "No, wait, butterflies, we 
almost have all the pollen collected!"  She, Satsuki, Asou, 
and Suga were here.  

	Suga watched Yuuki and Martial Artist Hanai bounce 
around the clearing.  Sara said to Asou, "You have to 
punish them for scaring the butterflies."

	"How am I supposed to get in the middle of that?  
They forgot to send me the magic powers everyone else 
seems to get."  He sounded disgruntled.

	"We ought to ask, see what you three are like here," 
Sara said.  

	Satsuki studied the bouncing fight, then lifted a pine 
cone and hurled it at Martial Artist Hanai.  It hit his belt 
buckle and popped it open, causing his pants to fall off.  
This enabled Yuuki to escape him while he recovered his 
pants.  "I seem to be good at unlocking things."

	"I suppose Suga has magical powers for getting us all 
in trouble," Asou speculated.

	"And you have magical cynicism," Suga said, 
laughing.  "Try quoting some goth band to transform!"

	"No magical goth transformation for me," Asou said.  
He looked up at the butterflies.  "Now what?"

	"A good question," Sara said.  "Time to report back to 
the horde of animals waiting for help, I guess."

	"Let's go, then," Asou said.

**************

	Mikoto had managed to drag Hanai aside for a quiet 
talk.  "So..."  She was nervous, not sure how to begin.

	"I haven't been with anyone but you," he said quietly.  
He leaned against a tree and stared off across the woods.  
Yakumo hadn't needed him. Even turned into a girl, Harima 
was what she wanted, maybe what she needed.  It felt like 
he'd been stabbed in the gut.  But then, that wound had long 
been aching.

	"Haruki-kun, do you really love me?" Mikoto asked 
softly.  "Or did I push you too far?"

	He made himself turn to her, taking her hands.  "I 
want to be your boyfriend," he said softly.  He couldn't 
pretend he had the same strength of feeling for her he had 
had for Yakumo, but give it time...and no one, really, was 
closer to him than Mikoto.  Wasn't friendship a better base 
than ephemeral feelings for someone he hardly really 
knew?  It had to be, right?

	She smiled brightly, then drew him into an embrace.  
"You have to properly dump Gonzales, you know."

	"I know," he said.  "We need to get back to Dad and 
Miki and Masahiro.  Though with the portal gone, I don't 
know how we'll get home."  He sighed.

	"Well, the Defenders think someone at the capital 
should be able to help us," Mikoto said, kissing his cheek 
softly.  She looked around.  "I suppose...we could..."

	"I don't think we can stay uninterrupted that long," 
Hanai said.  "And we should help with the animals."

	"Tonight?" she asked softly.

	"Tonight," he said, then kissed her softly.  "Come on, 
before someone falls out of a tree on us."

	They got back to the others without any trouble.

**************

	"TURN US BACK!" Otoko-Eri demanded of 
Sorceress Eri.

	"You are not the boss of me!" she said, stabbing a 
finger at his chest.

	"C'mon, I gotta go to the bathroom and I don't know 
how like this," Onna-Harima said.

	"It's not that hard," Lady Harima said.

	Everyone looked at her.

	"Not that I would know," she said, shrinking in on 
herself.

	"I think you'll both learn a valuable lesson from this," 
Sorceress Eri said.  

	"I DON'T WANT TO LEARN A LESSON!  I'D 
RATHER NOT KNOW!" Otoko-Eri protested loudly, 
looming over Sorceress Eri.

	"Well, now that you've yelled at me, you definitely get 
to wait," Sorceress Eri said.

	"But...bathroom..." Onna-Harima mumbled.

	"Please, won't you help them?" Tenma asked.  

	"I'm sorry, Princess, they need to learn some 
manners," Sorceress Eri said to her.  She studied Tenma, 
who was still wearing her body frame disguise.  "You're so 
much bustier than ours."

	"It's a sort of disguise thing," Tenma said.  "I wish it 
was real."

	"Well, if she didn't neglect her studies, she could make 
her chest bigger, but she doesn't take her magic very 
seriously," Sorceress Eri said.  "She's kind of unfocused."

	"So is Tenma-chan," Otoko-Eri said.  "Now turn us 
back!"

	"Please?" Tenma begged.  "Eri-chan does make a very 
cute guy but I don't need to be thinking naughty thoughts 
about someone else's boyfriend!"  

	That was a moment of too much information.

	Onna-Harima felt deeply mortified that Tenma could 
think naughty thoughts about Eri turned into a boy but not 
about her when SHE was a boy.

	Lady Harima suddenly wondered if her Princess 
Tenma would think the same thing and cringed.

	Otoko-Eri stood in confusion, then very carefully 
looked at Tenma.  He was very relieved that she still wasn't 
particularly sexy to him; the fake torso seemed to clash 
with the childishness of the rest of her.  Sorceress Eri, Lady 
Harima, Onna-Harima...they were kind of hot.

	Realizing he was assessing his female form's own 
sexiness and finding it attractive, he did the only possible 
thing, which was to turn and run off into the woods in a 
panic.

	This, however, led her to Lala and Martial Artist 
Hanai, who were busy flirting with each other when they 
were supposed to be out helping the animals.  Though so 
was he, but he'd ignore that for now.  "Back to work!  You 
can hit on other-dimensional versions of your boyfriend, 
later!"

	"Fine, fine," Lala grumbled, and dragged Martial 
Artist Hanai off.

	Otoko-Eri leaned against a tree, then heard footsteps.  
It was Onna-Harima.  "Yo," she said.  "You okay?"

	"Fine," he said, trying not to look at her.  Though, 
given she was really a guy and he was really a girl, it 
shouldn't matter if he found her attractive, right?  Not as 
hot as Itoko, but she was certainly a looker.  He could feel 
weird sensations from his groin; he still wasn't sure what 
those meant.  

	"Other-you is hard to deal with," Onna-Harima said, 
leaning on a tree by her.

	"Yes.  I'm not normally that bad, am I?" he asked.

	"Yeah, you can be.  She ain't so cool as you can be on 
a good day, though," Onna-Harima said.  She glanced at 
Otoko-Eri, then looked away.

	He came over to her; he could hear her breathing 
speed up a little.  He wanted to hold her, to take her into his 
arms and kiss her and...

	Otoko-Eri suddenly realized how perverted his 
thoughts were.  But now she was leaning up, leaning in 
close and their lips were approaching and...

	Itoko grabbed them both by the shoulders.  "BACK 
TO WORK!  We have animals to placate!"

	Dammit, Otoko-Eri thought.  SO CLOSE.  

*************
	
	Yuri felt strangely exhilarated.  The fight had really 
gotten her blood pumping, and while she was calming 
down now (digging holes for gophers was not very 
exciting), it struck her that really she could be content to 
stay here a while longer with Tae-chin and Tanisa.  A life 
of adventure had a certain appeal to it, certainly far more 
than the boring life running a bakery.  She'd never been 
able to get away from that, not until now, and it felt 
GOOD.

	The constant danger wasn't good...but it was good.  It 
was very thrilling, enough to override her common sense.  
She wanted excitement.

	She dug another hole, tossing the dirt aside, then 
leaned on her shovel and watched Tanisa work; she'd 
always thought he was handsome, but he was better looking 
than ever now; even dripping sweat, she found him 
attractive.

	And Tae-chin...she felt her heart speed up a little just 
to look at her beauty; Yuri felt herself get excited just 
looking at her; she was humming a happy tune to herself; 
Yuri wished she knew it.  Was this...was this love too?  
Yuri hadn't thought she could feel this way about a woman, 
but...

	It was insane, it couldn't work, but...well, this was her 
vacation.  A time to experiment and make mistakes, 
knowing you could walk away at the end.  It was worth the 
risk, right?  Yeah.

***************

	Akira, Ninja Master Akira, Cabana Boy Nara, and 
Nara were busy looting the bodies; someone had to do it.  
"So how long have you two..." Akira began.

	"A few months," Ninja Master Akira said.

	"A few weeks," Akira said.  She really wished she 
could get Ninja Master Akira alone for a talk.  She needed 
advice...how to tell, if to tell...

	"Hmm, Nara, dear, can you take Nara and get him 
properly suited up?"  Ninja Master Akira asked.  They'd 
been in too much of a hurry before on the way to help the 
others. 

	Akira wondered if her other self had read her mind.

	"I didn't read your mind," Ninja Master Akira said 
once the Naras were gone.  "We just think alike."

	"Do you..." Akira began, plucking up a bracelet.

	"Yes," Ninja Master Akira said.  She picked coins out 
of the dirt one by one with nimble fingers.

	"How quickly..."  Akira half-knelt and helped her.

	"Very," NM Akira said.  "He's very good."  She 
looked up at Akira.  

	"Mine is wonderful," Akira said.  "But it's hard..."

	"I know.  I haven't told mine yet, though I should," 
NM Akira said.  Now moved on, collecting a few gems.

	"He deserves to know," Akira said.  She picked in the 
dirt, looking for something to pick up.

	"Yes."  NM Akira moved on, making Akira move 
with her.  

	"But I couldn't bear to lose him, not here and now," 
Akira said.  She scooped up a scroll and started to open it.

	"Could be cursed," NM Akira said, staying her hand.  
"I know.  I keep hoping the feelings will just go away and I 
won't have to say anything."

	"We should be honest," Akira said, closing the scroll.

	"Ninjas are not good at honest, unless they are harem 
ninjas," NM Akira said, "In which case they honestly flaunt 
it all."  She shook her head.  "I prefer to only let my love 
see my goods."

	"Exactly, though dressing up a little can be nice," 
Akira said.  

	NM Akira stared off the direction the Naras had gone.  
"Sometimes, I wonder why he loves me."

	"Me too," Akira said, staring also, then plucking up a 
dropped gem.  "We're not very pretty compared to our 
friends."

	"And cold," NM Akira said.  "I don't easily show 
warmth or other emotions."

	Akira sighed, focusing on coin-scooping.  "I wish I 
knew what he sees, but I fear to ask."

	"Amen," NM Akira said, lifting and twirling a rod.  
"You learned to read runes yet?"  The rod was short and 
thick with a golden head holding a huge diamond at one 
end.

	"No, can you teach me?"

	"Have you leveled?" NM Akira asked.

	Akira checked her sense of XP.  "Yes."

	"Okay, let me show you the knack..."

**************
	
	Lala was feeling frustrated.  "What am I doing 
wrong?"

	She and Laladora had just finished catching fish for a 
pack of bears, and now they were sitting on large boulders 
by the river.

	"Where is your mask?" Laladora asked.  "You cannot 
truly use your power without a mask to symbolize and 
focus your might!"

	"A mask?" Lala asked.  Her father had worn a mask, 
traditional for Mexican wrestlers, but she was used to 
academic wrestling where they discouraged that.  Though 
Karen had a mask...Is this why I keep losing to her?

	"Yes.  We will have to make you one which will 
throw fear into your enemies and make you strong.  Also, 
you should stay away from that idiot, Martial Artist Hanai," 
Laladora said.  "Don't you have your own Karen?"

	Lala turned red.  "I don't want her like that!  I like 
Haruki-kun!"

	"Well, yours does seem a little less annoying than 
mine.  But why are you hitting on ours if..."

	Lala sighed.  "It's looking rather like he and Mikoto 
are getting together."

	"She dumped her Imadori?"  Laladora looked 
confused.

	"No, they never dated.  I think.  Karen's after him."

	Laladora grimaced.  "So yours is insane."

	"She's not insane!  She's my powerful rival who 
usually beats me," Lala said, tossing another fish to the 
bears.

	"Well, perhaps your sanity will return once you have a 
mask."  She didn't sound so sure.

	"I am not crazy!  I will show you my power!"  She 
jumped angrily at Laladora, who caught her and flung her 
backwards over Laladora's own shoulder, then turned and 
punted her into a tree.

	"Also, you have a temper."  Laladora shook her head.  

	"You're not exactly a pacifist yourself!" Lala said, 
getting up.

	Laladora tossed the bears a salmon.  "Let's go find 
someone with a sewing kit."

	Grumblingly, Lala followed.

*****************

	The dance steps were complicated, especially with a 
staff in her hands, but Yakumo did her best to circle the 
iron pot full of strange gunk with Witch Yakumo.  And 
then the rain began to pour down on this chunk of woods.

	Yakumo was quickly soaked.  "This should help more 
food grow, right?" she asked.

	"Yes," Witch Yakumo said.

	"Have you ever...do you and Kenji...your Kenji..." 
Yakumo asked hesitantly.

	"He's still very stubborn about my sister," Witch 
Yakumo said.  "But I think he's worth waiting for him to 
get over it."

	"I just...I can hardly remember most of it, but finding 
out...well, now I know why I couldn't read his mind most of 
the time."  Yakumo sighed, feeling rather depressed.  She 
lurked close to a tree, letting it shield her.

	"You only knew how to touch minds that were turned 
to you, right?" Witch Yakumo asked softly.

	"Yes.  But he was starting to...turn his mind to me 
more," Yakumo said.

	"And he may still," Witch Yakumo said.  "It's better 
you know the truth, right?"

	"I guess," Yakumo said, staring at the ground.  "I don't 
even know if I'm his girlfriend any more."

	"You do need to talk to him, now that you know," 
Witch Yakumo said, patting Yakumo on the shoulder.  
"Even if it won't be easy."

	"And he's a girl right now, and it seems like..." 
Yakumo began.

	"I really should turn them back to normal," Witch 
Yakumo said.

	"Please?"

	"But breaking a gender change spell isn't easy," Witch 
Yakumo said.  "And I think they could all use the 
perspective."

	"I want my...my Kenji a boy again," Yakumo 
mumbled.

	"Well, I'll see about doing it before bed," Witch 
Yakumo said.  "I think I have the potion ingredients I 
need."

	"You can't just wave your arms and chant?"

	Witch Yakumo shook her head.  "I can influence 
minds without anything fancy, but much of my powers 
require me to brew something up, or to engage in grand 
symbolic actions."  She tapped her cheek.  "Let me teach 
you some recipes you may find useful."

	Yakumo smiled.  "I would be very grateful."

	"We've done our part, so let's find a dry patch and get 
to work."

**************
	
	Tani-sensei sat on a stump and watched the camp 
winding down for the night.  The next morning, they would 
head off for the capital; I hope I don't lose my job, he 
thought.  

	Seeing all these doubles was kind of strange; a lot of 
them seemed more mature than his own kids, though they 
looked much the same.  But I guess you have to grow up 
faster in a world threatened by monsters.  If not very 
effective ones.

	He drew his swords and twirled them, bending his 
mind to make them glow with flame or lightning or acid.  A 
rather useful trick.  But how was it possible?  And why did 
going half-naked help?  He couldn't help but niggle at such 
things.

	His eyes tracked Tae as she helped Ninja Master Akira 
and Cabana Boy Nara erect another tent.  It was a good 
thing they'd brought all these supplies; apparently it had 
been Priestess Sara's warning that had prepared them.  I 
should get off my butt and help, he thought.  Just watching 
Tae move in her harem ninja outfit was keeping him 
frozen, watching in fascination.  She had a marvelous body.  

	Then arms wrapped around him from behind.  Yuri 
kissed his cheek, and he turned his head to kiss her 
nervously.  He wasn't quite sure what was going on and 
was afraid to ask.  They were both being extremely 
affectionate and he enjoyed it very much but he wasn't sure 
if they wanted to take things to a higher level or not.  

	But he kissed her anyway, feeling his heart start to 
speed up.  She ran her fingers up and down his arms and 
pressed her body to his back.  He liked the feeling.  "Don't 
we need to get a tent for the three of us?" she asked softly.  
"We're going to need some privacy."

	He felt his heart stop, just for a moment; then he tried 
to act cool, rising and putting an arm around her; he could 
feel her tremble or maybe it was him.  "Let's get it set up, 
then," he said, hoping he knew what to do.  He'd never 
gotten THIS far with a girlfriend before, though thankfully 
he didn't have to admit it to anyone except everyone 
reading this story.  But he was blissfully oblivious to that, 
which is good, as it would have completely paralyzed him.  

***********

	Karasuma, on the other hand, was aware of his own 
blindness to being observed.  He just didn't know what to 
do or where Tenma was.  She could be anywhere.  
Anywhere at all.  And he was too frantic to regain the calm 
that would let him read the skein.

	Karen said, "Is it really necessary to put the ashes of 
the fortress into a machine for burning things which have 
already been burnt?"  She was carrying a knocked out 
Fuyuki over one shoulder.

	"Absolutely," Karasuma said.  The flames, they let 
him forget his frustration.  

	"So, now what?" Karen asked, worried.

	"I need to find Tenma," Karasuma said.

	"How?"

	"I don't know," he confessed.  "I'm hoping a plot 
device will happen to get us on the right track."

	"What?" Karen asked.

	A comet streaked across the sky.

	"We follow the comet," he said.

	"Can you be sure it's the right...'plot device'?" Karen 
asked, worried about if Imadori was okay and wanting to 
be done.

	"No, but any plot device in a storm," Karasuma said, 
and began to determinedly follow it.

************  
	
	"So what is my equivalent?" Asou asked Priestess 
Sara.

	"He's a brave and shining paladin / boyfriend dual 
class," Priestess Sara said.

	"There's a boyfriend class?" Suga asked in surprise.  

	"He's a very good boyfriend," Priestess Sara said, 
smiling.  

	"Where is he?" Asou asked.  "I mean, wouldn't a good 
boyfriend..."

	Priestess Sara looked embarrassed.  "Swordsman Suga 
and Thief Satsuki kind of got him in trouble and they're all 
in detention."

	"THIEF SATSUKI?" Satsuki asked in shock.

	"At least my girlfriend goes to detention with me," 
Suga said.  

	"Hey!" Satsuki said.

	"You're a very nice thief," Priestess Sara said.  "You 
only steal from bad people."  She paused.  "And romantic 
rivals."

	Sara instinctively checked her wallet.

	"HEY!"

	"Anyway, you'll get to meet them, I'm sure," Priestess 
Sara said.

	"Okay," Asou said, then looked thoughtful.  "So does 
Alt-Suga have levels in boyfriend?"

	"I'm sure he'd be a better boyfriend if he did," 
Priestess Sara said.

	"HEY!" Suga said.

	"Ice BURN," Asou said, smiling a little.

	Well, I know where MY NEXT LEVEL is going, 
Suga thought.  Dammit.

*************

	"Eri-chan, will you stay with me tonight?" Tenma 
asked.  "I don't want to sleep by myself."

	Smoke rose out of Onna-Harima's ears as Otoko-Eri 
said, "Sure."

	"You can't do that!  You're a boy!" Onna-Harima said 
in protest.

	"I'm not gonna try anything with Tenma!" Otoko-Eri 
protested.

	Tenma felt disappointed at that, then slapped herself 
for thinking anything naughty about Eri, who was her 
FEMALE friend who just happened to have a really hot 
body and Tenma just happened to be lonely.  "Well, you 
could stay with me, then, since you're a girl right now," she 
said.

	Onna-Harima started to say yes, then realized she'd 
drive herself insane and Tenma loved Karasuma.  She 
wanted to stay with Tenma so badly, but...it wouldn't be 
right. She had to let go.  Even if she didn't want to.  "But if 
I saw anything naughty, I'd remember it when I was a boy.  
Can't Yakumo-san sleep with you?"

	"I think she wants to sleep with you," Tenma said, 
then paused.  "I mean, sleep, not SLEEP.  She's not into 
girls like that.  Unless she and Sara have been sneaking off 
to snog and my brain is SO FULL OF WEIRDNESS."  She 
banged her head on a tree until Onna-Harima stopped her.  

	"How about Sagano and Yuuki?  You can gossip with 
them about us," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Oooh, good idea.  But where will you sleep, Eri-
chan?"

	"I need someone to sleep with," Otoko-Eri said.  
"Maybe I'll ask Itoko."

	"You are not shagging my cousin!" Onna-Harima said, 
grabbing and shaking Otoko-Eri.

	"I just need a place to sleep!"

	"Come sleep with us!" Onna-Harima fired back.

	"I...uh...okay," Otoko-Eri said.  He imagined himself 
with a half-naked Onna-Harima and a half-naked Yakumo, 
then felt light headed.  Men are so perverted, he thought, 
feeling panicked a moment.  "Sounds like a plan."

	Tenma frowned.  "If Eri can't sleep with me..."

	"I can powerslap him if he gets too fresh," Onna-
Harima said.  "But he'd hardly feel it if you slapped him."

	"True," Tenma said, then saw Tae-sensei, Tani-sensei, 
and Yuri going into a tent.  "Well, our teachers are doing it 
and they wouldn't do anything we shouldn't on a class trip, 
right?"

	"Right," Onna-Harima said.

	Otoko-Eri wasn't so sure.

*************

	Itoko was pretty happy with the defenses, so she got 
into her tent with Sasakura-sensei and laid down to sleep.  
She could hear the sound of people patrolling: Laladora, 
Sorceress Eri, Lady Harima, Witch Yakumo, and Lord 
Fuyuki were on watch, being kind and letting the 
transuniversal guests get some bed rest.  That was 
reassuring.

	Unfortunately, her keen hearing soon enabled her to 
hear soft moaning from Tani and Tae and Yuri's tent.  So 
much for setting an example for the kids.  While she had no 
particular interest in Tani herself, listening to them get 
excited reminded her of how long it had been since she last 
had sex.  But after the whole incident while tied to the 
pillars, if she even thought about trying to get some relief, 
someone would no doubt walk in.

	She heard Youko mumbling to herself.  "Youko-san, 
you hear them too?"

	"I can hardly believe it," Youko (aka Sasakura-sensei) 
mumbled.  She rolled over and said, "You wanna do it?"

	"Someone will doubtless walk in on us," Itoko said 
nervously.

	"Yes, but I'm going to go CRAZY listening to this," 
Youko said.

	Itoko sighed and began unbuttoning her shirt.  "Me 
too.  Might as well let it out before we go crazy."

	"I've been wanting to do some more nudes of you, 
anyway," Youko said, crawling over to help undo Itoko's 
shirt.  "You're a wonderful model."

	"Just don't make my head look like a goat this time," 
Itoko said, then pulled Youko in for a kiss.  They didn't talk 
much after that.

**************

	Yakumo wanted to talk to Kenji in private, but didn't 
know what to say or if he could even think straight enough 
to make it worth trying.  He seemed so different as a 
woman, but maybe that was just her imagination.  Eri 
seemed different, but maybe she imagined that too.

	And right now, no privacy anyway, as she, Kenji, and 
Eri were all in a tent, in that order.  She flashed back to the 
time she and Eri had accidentally held hands, and resolved 
to be careful.

	Snuggling up to a woman felt strange, but she 
reminded herself that Kenji was a boy on the inside, if not 
on the outside.  Her boyfriend.  Sort of.  But had he 
ever...why had he gone along with it?  She felt very 
confused.

	She could feel pieces of their thoughts as they all 
started to drift into sleep.  Eri was so full of passion; 
Yakumo envied her that.  Kenji's confusion made her heart 
ache; she wished she knew how to help him.  

	Maybe tomorrow I'll get my chance, she thought, as 
she drifted off to sleep.	

*************

	Akira told herself she wasn't using sex as an excuse to 
avoid telling Nara everything.  But once they were done, he 
quickly fell asleep in her arms, rendering the issue moot.  
She could hear the teachers still going at it, and wondered 
what they knew that she and Nara didn't.

	Having him around so many beautiful, half-dressed 
women made her nervous, especially when he was going to 
be flaunting what he had.  Which admittedly, wasn't all that 
impressive, but it made her motor run.

	"You deserve better than me," she mumbled, then 
kissed his forehead and tried to sleep.
	
*************

	Lala was supposed to be sleeping, but instead, she was 
snuck off into the woods, making out with Martial Artist 
Hanai.  She shouldn't be content to be someone's object of 
displaced desire, but then, she was doing the same to him.

	He also kissed better than her Hanai, who had always 
seemed to be holding back.  

	This was a mistake, and she knew it.  But they both 
wanted...well, as the song goes 'If you can't be with the one 
you love, love the one you're with.'  It was probably 
pathetic, but at least no one would see her shame.  

	A comet roared across the sky, and they both blinked 
at it for a moment.  It headed off the direction they were 
going.

	Well, not my worry right now, Lala thought, and 
returned to her making out.

*************

	Otoko-Eri felt like he was going to explode.  As he 
tried to sleep, his mind kept roaming to things he could do 
with Onna-Harima in the privacy of the tent.  He resolved, 
quietly, to never call any guy a pervert ever again; it was 
clear to him that they had no choice.  If Yakumo hadn't 
been present...

	At times, his mind drifted to things to do with 
Yakumo, which made it worse.  She'd never go for any of it 
and even if she did, it would only lead to some disaster 
with Tenma walking in on them, no doubt.

	He wondered if he was ever going to get any sleep at 
all.  He tried counting sheep, but the sheep kept turning into 
all the cute women in the camp.  Which he didn't want to 
think about, dammit.

	Finally, he got woken up to take his turn at guard duty; 
it was a welcome distraction.  He finally got some sleep 
afterwards, the sleep of the totally exhausted.  He'd earned 
it.

************