This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 16:  Lady Harima And The Quest For the Holy 
Belt

By John Biles

****************

	They rose the next morning and headed off to the 
capital.  It was going to be a fairly long trip, which had 
Hanai rather worried about what would happen to Miki and 
Masahiro back home.  He decided to consult with an 
expert.

	"Excuse me," he said to Witch Yakumo, trying to not 
think about how she looked like his Yakumo who wasn't 
HIS Yakumo, but someone else's Yakumo as he was dating 
Mikoto now.  "Anyway you could send a message back to 
our home dimension for me?"

	It was only now, talking to her, that he realized 
something; Yakumo always shied away from him, but 
Witch Yakumo did not.  He wondered why.  She said, "I 
could try, but it's not reliable."

	"I need to let friends know to take my Dad home and 
that we're in another dimension," he said.

	"I can set up the cauldron when we stop for lunch," 
she said.  "We'll have to...umm..."  Now she looked 
embarrassed, more like his...his world's Yakumo.  "Dance 
naked," she mumbled.

	"..."

	"The really potent stuff requires taking a lot or all of 
my clothing off, so I don't use it very much," she mumbled, 
staring at the ground.

	Witch Yakumo wants me naked, his brain thought.  
He promptly overheated and fell over.

	"Oh dear," she said.

****************

	Sagano looked curiously at the ring of blankets being 
put up at one end of their camp as they got ready to eat 
lunch.  "What is that?" she asked.

	"Witch Yakumo has to do some naked rite with Suou," 
Lord Fuyuki said.

	"..."  Even for Sagano, this was just too much.

	"Hanai apparently couldn't even handle the thought of 
the rite," he continued.  

	"What exactly is this rite?" Sagano asked.

	"Sending a message to Earth so people know we're 
okay," Yuuki said.  

	"But she can't send us all that way?" Sagano asked.  
Not that she wanted to go back to school yet.  She was 
hoping for a few more quests before leaving.  Kicking ass 
ruled.

	"It just sends images and sound," Lord Fuyuki said.  "I 
think."

	"Won't that send images of them naked?" Sagano 
asked.

	"Fine by me if they make fools of themselves," Yuuki 
grumbled.

*************

	Miki and Masahiro were feeling extremely worried.  
They were also getting tired of poking Mr. Hanai with a 
stick, amusing as it was.

	The appearance of naked twins was extremely 
confusing to them.  Both of them looked rather 
embarrassed.  "We have a message for you from Hanai and 
Suou and Gonzales," one of them, the calmer one, said.  
"They're not sure how soon they'll be able to get back, as 
they are stuck in another universe.  You should take Mr. 
Hanai back to Tokyo."  	

	Mr. Hanai sighed.  "IDIOT.  I am going to ground him 
for life for trying to elope to another universe with both 
women!"

	The quieter woman looked embarrassed and tried to 
turn to hide most of her body.  "Let everyone know we'll be 
back as soon as we can, okay?"

	"Why are you naked?" Masahiro asked in confusion.

	"It takes huge amounts of magical energy to transmit 
this message, so only nudity will do," the calmer of the 
twins said.

	"I...anything we can do to help?" Miki asked 
nervously.

	"Just go home and be safe," the nervous one said.

	"Okay," Miki said.  "Take care of them for us, okay?"

	The calm one nodded; the nervous one didn't seem too 
happy to be asked to do that.  And then they vanished.

	"Did we really just..." Miki began.

	"I think we're getting in over our heads," Masahiro 
said.  "Alright, let's take him home."

	"Going to untie me?" Mr. Hanai asked.

	"I didn't say THAT."

*************

	Tani-sensei said, "Did you find something?"

	Yuuki and Sagano had taken up the duty of scouting 
again.  "Herpes," Sagano said.  "Could be bad."

	"..."

	Yuri said, "What, giant VD monsters?"

	Tae-sensei said, "And I don't have any sort of 
medication, either."  She frowned.

	"The bird-women things.  They sing and everyone gets 
hypnotized, then eaten," Sagano said.

	"Oh, HARPIES," Sorceress Eri said.

	"You'd know," Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	"Bite me," Sorceress Eri said.

	"Now, now, no need to fight each other," Sagano said.  
"You should kiss and make up."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAA."

	"I'm guessing there are maybe 15 or 20 of them," 
Yuuki said.  "I'm thinking maybe we could counter-sing 
them, though it would be easier if we had the rest of our 
band."

	"We could sing 'I'd like to teach the world to sing'," 
Tae-sensei suggested.

	"We don't need to look like a living soda commercial," 
Tani-sensei said.  "We could sing the school fight song.  
Almost all of us know that, right?"

	There was a great and terrible silence.

	"We could sing '2-D sucks', over and over," Sagano 
suggested.

	"National anthem?" Hanai suggested.

	Enough people nodded that they decided to go with 
that.  Fortunately, the lyrics were short and easy to teach to 
the non-Japanese among them.

	They marched forward, singing " Kimi ga yo wa / 
Chiyo ni yachiyo ni / Sazare ishi no / Iwao to nari te / Koke 
no musu made," which translates as "May the reign of the 
Emperor continue for a thousand, nay, eight thousand 
generations and for the eternity that it takes for small 
pebbles to grow into a great rock and become covered with 
moss."  

	They sang this over and over.  Unfortunately, none of 
them really had the right talents to countermagic Harpy 
Songs.  Fortunately, their terrible performance of the 
national anthem of Japan irritated the delicate musical 
sensibilities of the harpies to the point where they fled 
without a fight to avoid going MAD.

************

	Yuuki and Sagano crept forward along the path, only 
to find something very strange--there was a wide dirt path, 
perfectly smooth, through the forest.  It was strangely 
precisely flat for a dirt path.  Nothing grew on it at all, and 
the top looked slightly glazed.  Yuuki kneeled and sniffed 
it.  It smelled very slightly like lemon and sugar.

	"Did someone pave this road with lemonade?" Yuuki 
asked in confusion.

	"We'd better consult."

	They headed back to pick the brains of the natives.  
Ninja Master Akira said, "Perhaps it is the trail of a giant 
slug."

	"Which smells of lemonade?" Yuuki asked.

	"A magical lemonade oozing giant slug," NM Akira 
said.

	"Someone may just have spilled a decanter of endless 
lemonade," Martial Artist Mikoto pointed out.

	"Well, it's just a road; it sounds harmless," Masked 
Wrestler Laladora said.

	Lala was too busy getting snuggly with Martial Artist 
Hanai to comment.

	"AHAH!" Nara said.  "I know what it is!"

	"Go on?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"There were these monsters in a video game; they 
looked like chests, but when you tried to open them, they 
tried to eat you.  This could be a road equivalent," he said.

	After much discussion, they decided to take no 
chances.  The road would DIE.

	The road got hit by fireballs, lightning, angry animals, 
multiple swords glowing with energy, gunfire, buckets of 
holy water, and several exploding pinecones.  Soon, it was 
chewed up into a wet muddy pit of death.

	Lady Harima and Onna-Harima crept up and poked it 
with sticks.  "We kicked its muddy ass," Lady Harima said.

	"Dig for treasure!" Onna-Harima said.

	Soon, they were all digging around with shovels 
making a mess of themselves.  When the scent of lemon 
grew stronger, only Ninja Master Akira noticed, grabbing 
Cabana Boy Nara and leaping into the trees. And then it 
was on them, a huge shimmering lightly yellow cube; it 
began charging into people and sucking them inside to 
begin choking; its gelatinous body resisted any attempt to 
escape.  Asou, Lala, Martial Artist Hanai, Sara, Witch 
Yakumo, and Nara got sucked in and paralyzed on the first 
attack.

	"We're under attack by jello!" Sagano shouted.  She 
jumped at it, sword flashing with lightning.  This cut it 
open, but her momentum carried her inside, and she ended 
up paralyzed.

	Otoko-Eri grabbed Tenma and got her back out of the 
way; she wanted to snipe, but feared to hit a friend.

	Tani-sensei, Yuri, and Tae-sensei began slashing at it, 
opening cuts from which lemonade scented paralysis 
poison leaked.  Witch Yakumo whistled up a bear, while 
Yakumo wished she had learned enough to do something 
effective.

	The Harimas began punching it and quickly ended up 
paralyzed and stuck to the outside.

	Akira jumped up to Ninja Master Akira.  "You know 
these things.  How do I save Nara?"

	"Do enough damage and it falls apart.  Also, enough 
heat and it will melt," Ninja Master Akira said.

	With Cabana Boy Nara, they began throwing sticks 
onto it, then Ninja Master Akira lit it with a grenade.  The 
fire quickly went out as the creature began to dissolve, but 
now it began to come apart, pouring paralytic poison 
everywhere.

	Otoko-Eri, dragging Tenma, managed to outrun the 
tide, and Hanai and Mikoto and Martial Artist Mikoto 
managed to scramble into trees; just about everyone else 
ended up paralyzed.

	"Well, let's hope nothing finds us," Mikoto said.

	"I don't see anything else in the area," Hanai said.

	Down below, Tenma felt flushed, hiding in Otoko-
Eri's strong arms.  She could feel her heart pound and she 
told it not to be stupid, this was her friend Eri and not really 
a guy.  But he was just so cool and romantic and...

	She began banging her head on a tree.  "Out, bad 
thoughts!"

	"No, don't hurt yourself," Otoko-Eri said, making her 
stop.  "What are you doing?"

	"Nothing," Tenma mumbled.

	"You'll hurt yourself," Otoko-Eri said, dusting her 
head off.  

	"I'm fine, let's go help rescue the stuck people," 
Tenma said, turning to run off.

	Otoko-Eri wondered what was going on with her.  He 
went and pulled the Harimas out of the gunk, pausing to 
briefly make a face at the paralyzed sorceress Eri.  She left 
Lady Harima by that Eri, and dragged Onna-Harima to the 
nearby stream.  Then he threw her in.

	This washed the gunk off and revived her, but left her 
angry.  "Now my clothing is all wet and I don't have 
anything else to wear!  AND I AM SICK OF BEING A 
WOMAN AND WEARING DRESSES," Onna-Harima 
shouted, shaking her body in rage.

	Otoko-Eri tried not to watch her body move with 
fascination, but it was too much for him.  His eyes crossed 
as he studied how the dress now clung to her and...

	He made himself turn around.  "It's all Sorceress Eri's 
fault.  She COULD turn us back."

	"She's so stupid!" Onna-Harima said, now shaking 
herself like a cat.

	"Amen," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Well, I'd better go find Yakumo-san," Onna-Harima 
said.  "I think she got caught in all that."

	"She knows," Otoko-Eri said softly.  "How you feel 
about Tenma."

	Onna-Harima stared at the ground.  "She wants to 
marry Karasuma.  I lost.  I've got to move on."

	"So...are you going to date Yakumo for real now?  Or 
what?" Otoko-Eri asked, feeling a mixture of fear and hope.

	"I don't know," she said.  "I ain't good at talking about 
feelings."

	"You are really a boy," Otoko-Eri said.  "Even if you 
make a hot woman."  Pause.  "I didn't really say that."

	"You're not bad as a guy," Onna-Harima said.  "I 
mean, I might even think you're hot if I was into guys, 
which I am NOT.  It's just...being fair.  Yeah."

	There was a silence.  

	"This is making me crazy," Onna-Harima said.

	"Yeah, let's go help Yakumo," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Yeah, let's."

*************
	
	Yakumo pulled Onna-Harima aside at dinnertime.  
She had to ask.  "Kenji-kun," she said softly as they sat 
under a tree with their stew.

	"Yes, Yakumo-san?" he asked.

	"Do you...are we...I mean..."  She fell silent and ate, 
afraid to try to read her thoughts and not knowing what to 
say.

	"I don't know," Onna-Harima said, eating her stew.  "I 
was...well, you know.  I thought..."  She fell silent again, 
eating quietly.

	They sat, squirming uncomfortably and eating to avoid 
speaking.

	"Kenji-kun, how do you feel about me?" she finally 
blurted out.

	"You're my partner and one of my very best friends," 
Onna-Harima said. "Oh man, we are going to be 
SCREWED trying to make our next deadline!"

	Yakumo could feel the panic coming off her.  "But 
you don't..."

	"I've had Tenma on my mind," Onna-Harima said.  "I 
just...I don't know what to tell you.  And I can feel all these 
weird thoughts in my head from being a girl."  

	She turned and looked into Yakumo's eyes.  "How do 
you all keep from going crazy?"

	Yakumo could read the mental turmoil easily; she 
wondered if this meant she was more important to Kenji 
now or if her power was growing stronger.  She nervously 
put a hand on Onna-Harima's shoulder.  She's so pretty, 
Yakumo thought.  I wish I could be that pretty.  "I drink a 
lot of tea."

	"Does it help?" Onna-Harima asked.  "Make all 
these...I don't want to think about men!"  She was getting 
frantic.

	Yakumo licked her lips nervously.  "Well, umm, do 
you think I'm pretty?"

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said.

	"Well, you could...think about how pretty I am.  When 
you get woman thoughts.  As it's a guy thought to...think 
about me, right?"  She felt herself getting very nervous.

	"Hmm, that might work," Onna-Harima said, closing 
her eyes.  When she opened them, she seemed calmer.  
"Yeah, I feel more like a guy already."

	Yakumo patted her shoulder.  "Why don't we go see 
Takano-sempai and get some tea?"

	"Yeah, let's," Onna-Harima said, rising and heading 
off with her to see Akira.

************

	Tani-sensei screwed up his courage.  This was going 
to be hideously uncomfortable, but it had to be done.  He 
rose from where he and Tae and Yuri were eating.  "I've got 
to go talk to Sawachika," he said.

	"You do?" Yuri asked.

	"He'll be a guy a while and there's some guy things...," 
Tani-sensei began.

	"Are you going to tell him about sex?" Tae asked.

	"..."  So blunt, he thought.  "I...well...he's a guy and he 
has guy hormones and..."

	"Surely he can't...already...," Yuri said hesitantly.

	"You should see him and Harima-san," Tani-Sensei 
said.  

	"True," Tae said.  "We could come with you and 
demonstrate..." she teased.

	Tani-sensei's eyes crossed.  "No, not wise, I think."

	"Good luck," Yuri said.

	"Yeah, I'll need it," Tani-sensei mumbled, then headed 
over to where Tenma, Akira, Mikoto, and Otoko-Eri were 
eating with Nara and Hanai.  Tani-sensei said, "Sawachika-
san, we should talk."

	"What?  Okay, sensei," Otoko-Eri said, confused.  He 
followed Tani-sensei off to one side of the camp.  

	Tani-sensei found them a log to sit down on, then tried 
to figure out how to start.  "Well, normally, your parents 
would tell you about all this, but since they couldn't 
anticipate you turning into a boy..."  HE certainly couldn't 
have.

	Otoko-Eri laughed nervously.  "Are you about to tell 
me about sex?  Because I'm not going to try and do any of 
that while I'm a boy."

	"You and Harima..." he began.

	"I'm not into women!" Otoko-Eri protested 
desperately.

	"I know you like him when you're a woman, and I 
have a feeling that carries over," Tani-sensei said, 
squirming a little.  He hated to press this, but it was his 
duty as a teacher.  "It would be wisest if you avoided doing 
anything, as I can't even...well, there's always the risk of 
pregnancy and..."

	Smoke came out of Otoko-Eri's ears.

	"I know, I know," he said.  "But we have to 
contemplate the risk."

	"I couldn't...I shouldn't...I mean..."  Otoko-Eri tried to 
get control.  He shouldn't be so flustered in public.  "I see a 
pretty girl and..."

	"That's arousal," Tani-sensei said.  "On your..."

	"Yes," Otoko-Eri said quickly.  

	"Yes.  I assume you know the basic theory?"

	"My parents were too embarrassed to discuss such 
things, but yes," Otoko-Eri said.  Or so he hoped.  Really, 
he hardly knew anything at all.  But if he couldn't get out of 
this, at least he would know what was going on, later.

	"Hmm, they probably use magical birth control in this 
universe, but as you probably know, it's important to use 
birth control to avoid getting anyone pregnant," Tani-sensei 
said, relaxing as he went into didactic mode.  
"Unfortunately, condoms may not be available here, but the 
basic principle is like this..."

	Tani-sensei began explaining how to use a condom, 
while Otoko-Eri tried to not become too embarrassed.  
When he finished Otoko-Eri asked, "So what are you three 
doing about....this?"

	There was a moment of silence.

	Then Tani-sensei looked hideously embarrassed.  "I 
hadn't even thought about it until now."

	Otoko-Eri fell off his log laughing.

	"Don't laugh at me, I'm a teacher!"

	"Those who can, do, those who can't...teach...," Otoko-
Eri mumbled, laughing more.

	He frowned, trying to take control.  "Alright, we have 
to figure out what to do, but it is an issue.  Just imagine if 
you got Harima-san pregnant."

	Otoko-Eri felt his brain spin.  "That...I..."

	"Exactly," Tani-sensei said.  "Wouldn't be very fun, 
now would it?"

	"No," he mumbled.

	"Anyway, I will make some discreet inquiries and see 
if I can find out anything about...magical birth control.  Not 
that someone your age should be having sex, anyway," he 
said.

	"Should teachers be having threesomes?" Otoko-Eri 
said a little irritably.

	"This is not a school trip," he said.  "We can do what 
we want on our own time."  And given how crazy our 
principal is, he'd probably just appoint us sex ed teachers, 
Tani-sensei thought.

	Otoko-Eri could feel the contrary part of his soul 
wanting to go jump Onna-Kenji right this second, but he 
tamped it down, even though various other soul bits chimed 
in agreement.  I'm not going to be like Imadori, he told 
himself as his eyes started to track Lala's movements off 
across the camp.

	Tani-sensei rambled on with Otoko-Eri half-listening, 
and half-grumping inside his head.  This would be more 
useful if he was going to tell me how to...  Otoko-Eri shook 
his head.  No, I don't WANT to know how to do it well. 
And really, I'm a woman, right?  Shouldn't I be able to 
figure out how to please a woman better than a man could, 
anyway?

	Of course.  He just had to imagine what he wanted 
done to himself when he was a woman.  Except he didn't 
know all that much, beyond how to touch himself and you 
didn't start with that anyway, he was pretty sure from TV, 
that was kind of towards the end and how exactly did you 
aim and really, he shouldn't be thinking about this.

	By the end, Otoko-Eri was far more embarrassed than 
before.  Well, at least it's not a woman telling me, he 
thought, so I can't embarrass myself THAT way.

**************

	"We should talk," Tae-sensei said to Onna-Harima, 
taking her aside to a quiet spot.

	"You're not gonna jump on me, are you?" Onna-
Harima said nervously.  "I'm still trying to get over...stuff."

	"No, I have a...lovers, now," she said to Onna-Harima.  
"Though I'll always be fond of you."

	Instead, she found them a large rock to sit on by the 
nearby stream.  "I've seen how you and Sawachika keep 
looking at each other, and I think it's important to give you 
the talk."

	"..."  

	"Now, when a woman loves a man..."

	"I'm not a woman!" Onna-Harima protested.  "If that 
idiot Sorceress Eri would only turn me back or if my own 
stupid Eri hadn't transformed me in the first place, I 
wouldn't be stuck in this stupid dress!  Also, I need another 
dress, this one is getting dirty!  And my body feels all 
weird and I hate it."

	"I know the feeling.  It's an awkward time of life.  
Hmm.  You haven't been bleeding, have you?" Tae-sensei 
asked.

	"Just from the fighting."  Onna-Harima paused.  
"Bleeding?  I'm going to bleed???"

	"Well, yes."  Tae-sensei explained menstruation to 
Onna-Harima, who looked progressively closer to 
exploding atomically.

	"THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?" she 
shrieked, finally, drawing stares.

	"Well, it's not that bad," Tae-sensei said.

	Onna-Harima rose like an angel of death.  "It's killing 
time.  I'm a woman, I can beat the crap out of another 
woman."

	"Weren't you asserting your masculinity earlier?" Tae 
asked.

	"That was then, this is now."  She started to charge, 
but Tae tripped her, then tried to hold her back; this wasn't 
easy, and they ended up with her hobbling towards 
Sorceress-Eri with Tae trailing from one leg.

	Sorceress-Eri looked up from eating with Martial 
Artist Mikoto and Ninja Master Akira and Cabana Boy 
Nara.  "Yes?" she asked.

	"Turn me back to a man now!" Onna-Harima said. "Or 
I will WHIP YOUR ASS!"

	"You need to learn more about women," she said.  
"And if you hit me, well, what kind of man hits a woman?"

	Onna-Harima froze.  "I'm a woman right now, 
though."

	"Ahh, accepting your femininity.  A good start," 
Sorceress Eri said.

	"I AM NOT!"

	"So you are a guy who wants to hit women," Sorceress 
Eri said.

	"NO!  STOP TWISTING ME INTO KNOTS!"  Onna-
Harima was about to just berserk.

	"Well, either you are a woman all the way through 
now, or you're a guy who hits women," Sorcress Eri said.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"  Onna-Harima, not 
able to face either of those, turned and ran off.

	"Nicely done," Ninja Master Akira said.

	"I think the joke's gone too far; you really should turn 
them back," Martial Artist Mikoto said.

	Yakumo saw a frustrated Onna-Harima running 
screaming; she and Otoko-Eri both took off after her, 
running into the woods.  

	Tae-sensei, who had been shaken loose, rose up and 
chased after her.  "Come back, we didn't even get to sex 
yet!" causing many to stare.

	Sagano rose, planning to start a giant riot; it seemed 
like the thing to do, but Yuuki pulled her back.  "Let them 
go," Yuuki said quietly.

	"Awww," Sagano said, but she didn't fight it.

	I should have just stayed alone in the wilderness, not 
even bothered trying to rescue anyone, Onna-Harima 
thought as she ran.  I'd be alone but at least I wouldn't feel 
so confused.

	She's gonna run off a cliff or something, and we're 
gonna end up in a river again, Otoko-Eri thought.

	Kenji-kun, come back!, Yakumo thought as she ran, 
stumbling over roots.

	Yakumo had a harder time keeping up, not that Otoko-
Eri could keep up either.  

	It made matters worse when Eri proved prophetic and 
Onna-Harima ran off a cliff.  She got a good fifty feet into 
the air before she realized it, then began to plummet.

	Otoko-Eri saw Onna-Harima plummet into the mists 
and sighed.  Here we go again.  He dived after her.

	Yakumo reached the edge of the cliff and saw them 
falling.  She gulped, feeling fear.  But she couldn't leave 
him behind, so she jumped as well.

	All three of them eventually were found downstream, 
waterlogged and unconscious, and dragged back to camp 
by a grumpy Tani-sensei and a less grumpy and more 
worried Tae-sensei.

**************
	
	"Am I dead?" Onna-Harima asked when she woke up 
with her head in Tae-sensei's lap.

	"No, but you are dry, I hope.  I had to strip you and 
dress you in fresh clothing," Tae-sensei said.

	"There's fresh clothing????" Onna-Harima said, 
realizing she was naked inside multiple blankets.

	"Yes," Tae-sensei said.  "I'll let you pick some stuff."

	"Where did it come from?"

	"Loot from a cross-dressing troll at the temple," Tae-
sensei said.

	"..."

	"Anyway, we should talk," Tae-sensei said.  "I think 
you have a little better idea of the depths of your feelings 
after that, right?"

	A better idea of how much falling off a cliff hurts, 
anyway, Onna-Harima thought.  "Can't you just use your 
teacher authority to make that idiot turn us back to 
normal?"

	"Welll..."  Tae-sensei sighed.  "She tried, but it didn't 
work."

	"..."

	"Apparently, Sawachika put so much power into it, it's 
going to take a master magus to undo it," Tae-sensei said, 
sighing.

	"I'm gonna have to kill him."

	Tae-sensei sighed.  "Anyway, I need to definitely tell 
you about how to deal with everything."

	Onna-Harima was too drained to fight for now.  "Fire 
away."

	It was a long talk which left her head spinning when 
she finally drifted off to sleep.

**************
	
	Otoko-Eri woke up with his head on Tenma's lap and 
Mikoto lurking nervously next to him.  "You okay?" 
Mikoto asked.

	"I'm fine," Otoko-Eri said.  And dry in different 
clothing.  "Who dressed me?" he asked in a panic.

	"Tani-sensei did," Tenma said.  "I offered to help, 
but..."

	Otoko-Eri winced.  "I'm a guy right now."  He sighed.  
Apparently an insane one.  

	"We have...bad news."

	"Lemme guess, they can't turn us back?" Otoko-Eri 
speculated; he could feel the grip of doom.

	"Uhh...yeah."

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  Why did I ever do this?  I must be 
insane.  No wonder I had so many fights with Kenji.  I must 
drive him nuts.

	He sat up and yawned.  "Great, I wake up in time for 
bed."

	"Yeah," Mikoto said.  "I'm gonna go..."

	"Rumble Hanai, yes," Otoko-Eri said, frowning.  
"We'll be fine here."

	"Okay, see you tomorrow!" And she took off.

	Tenma sighed.  "I'm so jealous."

	"No one in their right mind should be jealous of 
someone dating Hanai," Otoko-Eri said, lying back down.  
He felt snappish.

	"I...Eri-chan, normally, I'd support you, but I don't 
know what to do.  I mean, Yakumo is my sister and I want 
her to be happy," Tenma said, lying down herself.  "But I 
just...he can't date both of you and I don't want to see you 
fight or have to root against you."

	"Kenji-kun is a big stupid woman right now who 
jumps off cliffs, no good for either of us," Otoko-Eri said.

	"That's our Kenji-kun," Tenma said fondly.  "But 
really, you love her, don't you?"

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  "Yes.  Even like this.  And it's 
'him'.  I'm not a boy on the inside yet and he's not a girl."  
He kept telling himself that.

	"You make a pretty cute, attractive guy," Tenma said, 
blushing a little.

	"Don't tell me that," Otoko-Eri grumbled.  

	"Brave and strong, handsome..."  Tenma continued to 
sing Eri's praises.

	I hope she doesn't have a crush on me, Otoko-Eri 
thought.  

 	Stop thinking about Eri that way, Tenma told herself.  
I have a sort of hopeful boyfriend!  MUST THINK OF 
KARASUMA.  

*****************

	Karasuma sat up, sneezing.  He hoped someone was 
thinking of him and that he wasn't getting a cold from 
camping.  At least the three of them had tents.  

	Fuyuki looked over at him.  "You okay?"

	"Just worried," Karasuma said, lying back down.

	"It's gonna be fine," Fuyuki said.  "Our classmates are 
too destructive to die."

	Karasuma hoped he was correct.  He just hoped very 
strongly that Tenma was still okay and that he hadn't 
wrecked everything.  But surely taking Karen and Fuyuki 
away from the class couldn't lead to anything bad.

*************
	
	Having had the homeroom period changed to a sex ed 
class (to be taught by a flustered Mai) and having 
convinced the Principal that a scantier uniform was 
necessary for this class, Imadori was on top of the world.  
His plan to replace math with Doujibiron class wasn't 
working out yet, but it was only a matter of time.

	Mai was about ready to explode; she was making good 
ground on seducing him, but she didn't really WANT to 
succeed.  But there was no other way around it, though she 
knew Karen would kill her whenever she showed up again.  
Assuming half the class wasn't dead, which she was 
starting to wonder about.

	Unnoticed by either of them, several of the minor 
female characters, however, were busy plotting an end to 
Imadori's reign of error.  For now, they will remain 
swathed in shadow...

***************
	
	Onna-Harima awoke from confused dreams to find 
something warm cuddled up to her.  If Lady Harima was 
hugging her in the night, she was going to have to lay down 
some smack again.

	Fortunately, Lady Harima had left and instead, 
Yakumo was cuddled up to her.  It felt kind of nice, and 
even though she had a feeling letting Yakumo stay would 
be to make promises she wasn't ready to keep, she didn't 
say anything.  It was kind of comforting to know Yakumo 
still thought of her as a man.  

	She did, right?  Surely Yakumo didn't like her better 
this way.  But Yakumo had never snuck into her bed when 
she was a guy.  No, it couldn't be true!  She was a lesbian?  
But why did she go out with me before?  Or was it to hide 
being a lesbian?

	But wait...I like girls, so right now, I'm a lesbian.  She 
tried to remember the stuff Tae-sensei had told her.  There 
had been something about lesbians and no shame in loving 
a woman or something.  And...and things she'd only 
listened to without dying of embarrassment because of how 
tired she was.

	Only now, she couldn't even remember half of them, 
other than...  Her eyes crossed.  He'd never thought about a 
woman doing THAT to him before, but the idea was kind 
of sexy.  A woman doing that to male Harima, not her 
doing it to a guy even if it was Eri who was really a girl and 
NOT GOING THERE.

	Now she felt utterly flushed and confused.  Maybe I'd 
better wake Tae-sensei up and get her to explain everything 
again.  Would it even fit there, anyway?  No way to 
measure dimensions right now.

	Carefully, she disentangled herself from Yakumo, 
patted her on the forehead and slipped out.

	Lady Harima was tied upside down to a tree for no 
clear reason and was asleep, Onna-Harima saw.  She was 
only surprised it had taken this long.  She's so much more 
obnoxious than me, Onna-Harima thought.  Being the evil 
bearded me.  Though not bearded right now.

	THANKFULLY.

	She crept through the camp, blissfully unaware that 
Hanai, Mikoto, Akira and Nara were on watch duty and 
spotted her heading for the teacher tent. The four of them 
looked at each other and crept after her, despite Hanai 
saying they really shouldn't spy.  Yet, he led the way.

	She gently tugged the tent door open, trying to figure 
out how to wake up Tae-sensei without actually waking 
anyone else.  Seeing the three teachers (as Onna-Harima 
saw it, not being aware Yuri was not a teacher...they run in 
packs, right?) curled around each other naked blew crucial 
circuits in Onna-Harima's brain.  Some part of her mind 
had refused to admit that teachers did this sort of thing.  

	Suddenly she wondered if maybe they all did this on 
teacher work days--a giant orgy of sex, drugs, and rock and 
roll.  It made sense.  Everyone needed some time off, and 
they probably studied secret teacher sex methods in college 
you could only use with other teachers.

	She remained frozen, unable to withdraw or advance, 
her brain carefully studying how the three were curled 
around each other with just enough blankets and body parts 
pressed together that you couldn't quite see anything 
naughty.  

	She was blissfully oblivious as the other four crept up 
on her.  Even peeking past her didn't make her notice them; 
she was that frozen.  Hanai stared in shock; unlike Harima, 
he'd known what was going on, but the sheer reality of it 
was just too much for him.  Mikoto imagined her and Hanai 
tangled with Miki and Masahiro like that and turned red.  
Akira peeked briefly, then pulled Nara away before he 
could see anything and get crazy ideas.  Nara didn't need to 
look for the crazy ideas, though.

	It was only when Hanai's foot slipped and he fell 
down on Onna-Harima, who oofed loudly, causing Mikoto 
to then fall on top of both of them, since she was leaning on 
Hanai, that their presence began to rouse Tani-sensei, Yuri, 
and Tae-sensei.  Tani-sensei sat up and stared at the three 
of them piled in the doorway and rubbed his eyes.  I must 
be dreaming, he thought.

	Yuri opened her eyes, blushed, and pulled up the 
sheets.  Tae-sensei moved to cover herself enough to be 
decent and said, "Did you three need some advice on things 
to do together?"

	There was a great and terrible silence.

	And then the three tore off across the camp in three 
different directions, screaming fit to wake the dead.

	Unfortunately, the camp happened to be right on top 
of a secret Orcish burial ground, so the dead ripped out of 
the ground and tried to eat everyone.  This ensured no one 
got very good sleep.

*****************

	Once the chaos settled down, it was time for everyone 
to try to sleep again.  Otoko-Eri saw Yakumo about to go 
back to bed with Onna-Harima.  "If she sleeps with you, so 
do I," he said.

	Onna-Harima tried to figure out if this was okay or 
not, but it just made her brain spin.  "Sure, whatever, I must 
sleep."

	She slept well; the other two didn't.

*****************

	Once it all settled down and the four on watch duty 
went back to watching, Akira said, "You two looked like 
you wanted to climb in and join them."

	"Mikoto-kun is the only woman for me," Hanai 
snapped at her, wishing it was entirely true.  He was trying 
to forget Yakumo but it wasn't easy.  And he could 
remember Lala's sweet kisses...watching her hit on the 
other Hanai made him feel irritable.  
	
	Mikoto smiled.  "Unless you two want to join us after 
we're done on watch, anyway," she teased, hoping Nara 
would get embarrassed.  Little could embarrass Akira, and 
she knew Akira would know it was just a joke.

	Akira's eyes flickered wide for a moment, and then 
she looked calm again.  "You're just teasing," she said.  She 
sounded a little disappointed, though Mikoto was sure that 
was just Akira teasing back.  

	"I'm not up to handling more than one woman at a 
time," Nara dolefully confessed, though the idea of both of 
them....he did like that idea.  He just was too realistic to 
believe it today.

	"Oh, I'm sure you'd be man enough for both of us," 
Akira said firmly.  

	Nara felt rather flattered at that.

	"So would Hanai," Mikoto said a little defensively.  

	"Been testing that with your college friends?" Akira 
asked.

	"We haven't had sex with them!" Mikoto protested.  
Just NEAR them.  And the idea did have an appeal, but...

	"That's their business," Nara said firmly.  "Please stop 
sniping at Hanai for no reason, Akira-san."

	Akira froze in place a moment, then looked at Nara in 
surprise, then said, "Well, unless we're going to test who is 
best in bed, we'd best get to bed."

	Nara could feel his harem instincts fighting with his 
common sense.  The idea of sleeping with Mikoto...he'd 
dreamed of that in times past.  And if Akira wanted to...

	But it could wreck everything.  And probably she was 
just teasing.  Though...he'd felt...when Mikoto had 
suggested it, it had almost looked to him like Akira had 
been interested.  But surely not; she just wanted one guy, 
right?  He had to be a one-woman man for her.

	"You're all the woman I could ever need," Nara said to 
Akira.  "Suou-san is pretty, but you're prettier, anyway.  I 
just love you, you know."

	She stared at him in silence, and he felt her tremble a 
moment.  Then she said, "I...Nara...Kentarou...I love you 
too."  Her voice was very soft.  "More than anyone else in 
all the world."

	He could see Mikoto smiling at them and starting to 
lead Hanai away.  "Let's go," he said softly.

	"I'm going to do things to you I can't do in public," she 
said, just loud enough for Hanai to hear as she led him 
away.  "Wonderful, magical things."  She sounded almost 
feverish.  

	He felt worried now; something was clearly wrong.  
"Akira-san, are you okay?  They were only teasing."  He 
wondered, again, why she sometimes...it was like some 
dam would burst.  He hated to see her so shaken up.

	"Love you, love you, love you," she mumbled; as they 
stepped into their tent, she pulled his shirt off, hands 
roaming across his chest frantically.  "You're the best, the 
best, the very best."  She started to take his pants off as she 
laid him down on their bedding.

	It was almost like she was drunk, but he knew she 
couldn't be.  "I love you too," he said.  "But are you sure 
you want..."

	She paused, shaking, kneeling over him, hands 
moving up to clasp his.  "It scares me," she said softly.  
"How much I want...how much you want...You're the best 
boyfriend a woman could ever have and I want to show you 
how much you mean to me."

	He felt guilty now; he'd been pretty tempted and it had 
been his fear of ruining everything that had held him back 
from succumbing.  Did he really deserve this passion?  He 
wasn't so sure.  "I just did what any boyfriend should do," 
he said.

	"Yes, but lots...how many would really pass up a 
chance like that?  Mikoto-chan is so strong and good 
looking and brave and she has such a nice body."  Akira 
sounded very envious to Nara.  "I shouldn't...I don't resent 
her for it," she said.  "But a lot of guys...when she offered."

	"It was just a joke, right?" he said, clasping her hands 
firmly, feeling himself excited by her presence.  

	"I don't know.  Those four may well be doing it," 
Akira said.  "They have that look..."  She looked at Nara.  
"I'm sorry I'm not...I mean..."

	He took his hands from hers, reached up and touched 
her breasts.  She shivered and gave a little cry.  "I can 
hardly imagine you being a better lover just because of 
having bigger breasts."  He began to explore them with his 
fingers.  "I can't imagine she could be better than you."

	"Flatterer," she said, then began pulling off his pants.  
"I'm going to...everything...for long as we can...we'll show 
them...how strong our love is."  

	Clothing flew and they went to town.

*************

	Hanai and Mikoto lay in their tent, trying to sleep, 
after they returned to it.  Hanai was not in the mood for 
hankey panky, and Mikoto felt guilty she'd ended up 
making him unhappy with her teasing.  "I'd never..." she 
began.

	"Let's be honest," he said.  "We like having them 
there, when we do it," he finally said, feeling a little freaky.  
"We don't have to have them, but we like it."

	"When di...oh, right," Mikoto said, lying on her back, 
watching the ceiling.  "Are we going to go totally 
perverted?" she mumbled.

	"I don't think so, but maybe...I mean..."  Hanai knew 
he should be wiser than this; it was fortunate they were 
absent.

	"Parents will kill us," Mikoto said.

	"We're already dead," Hanai said.  "Might as well 
enjoy the ride."

	She nodded.  "What do you think about...this business 
with Harima and Eri and the gender swapping and..."  She 
wasn't sure what she thought.

	"Their business," he said, though his heart ached a 
moment for Yakumo.  He told it to shut up.  "I hope they 
figure it out, as I know I can't."

	"Yeah."  She sighed and kissed his cheek.  
"Goodnight, Haruki-kun."

	"Goodnight, Mikoto-kun."  And then sleep took him.

*************
	
	Tenma was woken out of a sound sleep, along with 
Sagano and Yuuki when the now all too familiar sounds of 
Eri and Yakumo screaming echoed across the camp.  
Scrambling all over each other to get out of their own tent, 
they could see Onna-Harima tangled in a collapsed tent 
looking confused with Yakumo and Otoko-Eri running in 
opposite directions from it.

	Tenma ran after her sister, leaving Sagano and Yuuki 
gawking.  She quickly caught up with Yakumo, who she 
found sitting under a tree, beet red.

	"What's wrong?" Tenma asked frantically.

	"I sort of accidentally kissed Sawachika-sempai good 
morning," Yakumo mumbled.

	"..."  

	"We got all jumbledy in the night and somehow I 
mistook him for Kenji-kun."  Yakumo was shivering.

	Tenma sat down by her sister, putting an arm around 
her.  "He does look kissable, but even I couldn't ever 
mistake Boy Eri for Boy Kenji, especially when Kenji's a 
woman right now."

	Yakumo stared at her sister for a moment, then said, "I 
just kind of assumed he was next to me and kissed and 
then..."  Her eyes crossed.

	"Was he good?" Tenma asked curiously.

	"Yes.  No.  I didn't mean to kiss him!" Yakumo said.

	"Well, you know what always comes out of this sort of 
thing," Tenma said.

	"No, not really," Yakumo said, staring at the ground.

	"You two have held hands...kissed...is there something 
you're not telling me, sister?" Tenma asked.

	"There is nothing going on between us!  It's all been 
accidents!" Yakumo said frantically.

	"Yet, when accident follows accident..."  Tenma 
sounded quite serious.

	"I am not in love with him!  Kenji is my boyfriend 
even if he's a girl right now!" Yakumo said frantically.

	"Sometimes a person can be tempted, but..."

	Yakumo turned away to stare off at the nearby stream.  
"I'm not tempted."

	Tenma sighed.  Her denial meant she clearly had a 
crush on Otoko-Eri and didn't want to admit it.  Whereas, I 
may be tempted, but I don't have a crush at all and I'm not 
at all jealous that Yakumo kissed him first.  Not at all.

**************
	
	"She kissed me, dammit!" Otoko-Eri protested to 
Tani-sensei.

	"It may be tempting to..." Tani-sensei began.

	"Like you're in any position to talk," Otoko-Eri 
snapped out.

	"I'm not kissing anyone who is dating someone else!" 
he fired back.  "If you don't get a grip on yourself..."

	"SHE KISSED ME!!!!" Otoko-Eri howled to the 
heavens.  "I wouldn't kiss Tenma's imouto if my life 
depended on it!"

	"Harima will probably feel jealous about this, as 
women tend not to take their boyfriends kissing other 
women well," Tani-sensei said.

	"I'm not Kenji's boyfriend!  I'd be his girlfriend if I 
was anything and he's not really a woman so he shouldn't 
act like one!" Otoko-Eri protested loudly.  He paused, and a 
little nervously, said, "You think he thinks I'm his 
boyfriend now?"

	"She does seem to call you that under stress," Tani-
sensei.

	"KENJI GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Otoko-Eri 
shouted.

	A groggy Onna-Harima ambled over.  "What the hell 
did you have to go yelling and running around for, 
anyway?"

	"You don't think I'm your boyfriend do you?" Otoko-
Eri demanded, not sure if he wanted her to say yes or no.  It 
was all so screwy.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said, then paused.  "No...wait, 
what exactly are you asking?  That was confusing."

	"Am I your boyfriend?" Otoko-Eri demanded.

	To her own surprise, Onna-Harima found herself 
blushing.  "You're so forward."  Then she shook herself 
(literally).  "Dammit, I keep acting like I'm a woman or 
something!"

	"You are," Tani-sensei said.

	"I'm a woman and I don't act all wilting like that!" 
Otoko-Eri said.

	"You're a boy, right now," Tani-sensei said. 

	"Anyway, I'd be...well, your girlfriend...if I was 
anything to you, right?" Otoko-Eri asked hesitantly.

	"You're a good friend even if you drive me insane a 
lot," Onna-Harima said.  "You ain't made fun of me for this 
or anything, and I'm grateful.  Lot of guys would mock me 
right now."

	Otoko-Eri blushed a little.  "I...well, you haven't made 
fun of me either.  And yeah, we are friends.  We're just 
not...I mean...Yakumo was your girlfriend and..."  He 
began staring at the ground and idly kicking the dirt about.

	"So you don't mind if Eri makes out with Yakumo, 
then?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"WHAT?"  Onna-Harima looked stunned.  "You've 
been making out with Yakumo?"

	"She was confused and kissed me!" Otoko-Eri 
protested.  

	"You've been kissing my girlfriend???  Men are such 
leches!" Onna-Harima shouted.

	"Hey, it was an accident, and I'm not really a man!" 
Otoko-Eri protested.

	"No man would steal someone's girlfriend like that, 
alright!  You must pay!"

	Tani-sensei watched Onna-Harima chase Otoko-Eri 
off into the distance with a log.  He wished his old 
psychology professor, Dr. Kaitou, was here.  The old man 
would have found this utterly fascinating.  The two of them 
seemed to slide back and forth from their normal 
personalities into identifying with the other gender 
whenever they got stressed. 

	He tracked down Lord Fuyuki and asked, "How much 
further?"

	"We should hit civilization in a week and then we can 
get horses and be there in two days," he said.

	A week of this, Tani-sensei thought.  Kami-sama help 
us all.

**************

	Yuuki wondered, idly, what her other self was like.  
She hadn't been part of the group which they'd met.  But 
then, neither had Priestess Sara's boyfriend, apparently in 
detention.  Maybe other-me is in detention.

	She finally decided to approach Priestess Sara and ask; 
she would be neutral, at least.  

	"Oh, she couldn't get off work as a hostess," Priestess 
Sara told her.  "She makes pretty good money there, even if 
it seems a little skanky to me."

	Yuuki licked her lips nervously.  "One of...those 
places?"

	"More or less," Priestess Sara said.  "I work at a 
restaurant, but it's not like...that."

	"Is my..."

	"Well, really, harem ninjas all are very...forward," 
Priestess Sara said, trying to be polite.  

	Great, Yuuki thought.  "Is she dating anyone?"

	"She and Martial Artist Mikoto are kind of fighting 
over Imadori."

	And apparently my other self is insane, Yuuki thought.  
Just GREAT.

**************

	"You know what would be really ironic?" Fuyuki said 
to Karasuma and Karen as they slogged through the woods.

	"Us being captured and Tenma having to rescue us?" 
Karen said.

	"Wow, it's like you read my mind," Fuyuki said.

	Karasuma looked around warily.  In this sort of 
universe, that sort of statement usually set the universe the 
challenge of capturing you.  He couldn't afford that.  

	Yet, nothing seemed to be about to attack.  Which 
meant it had to be something subtle...like dopplegangers 
replacing them one by one.  

	And, of course, the first thing a doppleganger would 
do would be to say things which would ensure no one 
thinks it a doppleganger, like, say, talking about the 
possibility of something capturing everyone.  Which could 
mean Karen was really a doppleganger...

	Or could mean he was cracking under stress.

	He sighed and told himself not to be ludicrous.  

	What were the odds that any of them were a 
doppleganger?  Certainly not so high as for him to worry.  
Unless, maybe, he was the doppleganger, set to lead them 
into a trap and hypnotized to forget...

	He shook his head.  Even more ridiculous.  There was 
no way he was a doppleganger.  "I'm not a doppleganger, 
am I?" he asked, his lips expressing his thoughts for no 
good reason.

	"What?" Karen asked.

	"We're all dopplegangers," Fuyuki said sarcastically.

	Ahah!  He knew...no wait, that had to be sarcasm.  A 
real doppleganger wouldn't reveal his identity.  But wait...it 
could be a bluff, admitting the truth so NO ONE WOULD 
BELIEVE IT.  

	"We are?" Karen asked in confusion.

	Maybe confusion...or maybe an evil bluff...  He 
couldn't be sure of any of them, not even himself.  I may be 
here to betray me, Karasuma thought.  But even if I'm evil, 
I'll never betray Tenma, ever!  

	The squirrels are after my nuts, Fuyuki thought.  BUT 
THEY WILL NEVER HAVE THEM.

	Karen felt her stomach rumble.  Maybe cooking those 
mushrooms wasn't a good idea, she thought.  But they'd 
looked so tasty.  It must be the faeries, angry with us for 
stealing their mushrooms.  A faerie curse!  There was 
nothing to be done but to turn her clothing inside out, find a 
horseshoe to stand under and...   "I don't suppose any of 
you have any church bells, do you?"

	That could be a doppleganger recognition code phrase, 
Karasuma thought.  If I say yes, she may think I am one.  
"Why yes, of course," he said.  That will let me infiltrate 
their evil ranks so I can save Tenma.

	"No," Fuyuki said.  Church bells are clearly a code for 
nuts!  The squirrels have chittered into her mind...Alvin and 
the Chipmunks have been brainwashing humans for 
decades now!  It was all becoming clear.  Only he was a 
bad enough dude to save the President.

	They both stared as Karen took her shirt off and turned 
it inside out, then began doing the same to her pants.  "Can 
I borrow them?" she asked Karasuma.  "I need some for 
defense."

	But he didn't REALLY have any.  "Oops," he said, 
searching his pockets.  "They must be in my other pants."  
Very clever, he thought.  But he would fool her yet.  
Somehow.

	It's going to take a very clever plan he thought.  Very 
clever indeed.

************

	As they were walking along, Tenma went over to talk 
to Akira.  Akira and Nara were walking hand in hand; she 
had a quiet smile and he looked very bouyant.  "Akira-
chan, do you have a minute?" Tenma asked.

	"Sure," she said.  "Though we have to talk while 
walking, of course."  The group was strung out in a clumpy 
line, moving through the woods with Sagano and Yuuki 
scouting ahead as usual.  

	"That's fine.  I just..."

	"Wondering about this morning?" Akira asked.

	"Yeah," Tenma said.  "I mean...are they really..."

	"I'm sure it was an accident.  Sleeping three in a tent, 
both of them wanting Kenji to kiss them, and so on," Akira 
said.  "Who knows, they may take up like our teachers."

	Tenma's eyes crossed.  "But I w...I mean, that wouldn't 
be proper, and what about when they go back to normal?"

	"Proper doesn't matter so long as they're all happy," 
Akira said, surprising Tenma.  Akira always seemed rather 
proper to Tenma.  Especially when badgering Hanai.  "And 
it seems like Yakumo-san doesn't mind Harima being a girl 
right now too much, though I may be wrong," Akira said.  

	Tenma's eyes widened.  "Well, maybe...but isn't it 
kind of monkey-like?"

	"Any arrangement is good if everyone agrees," Akira 
said blithely.

	Tenma blinked in shock.  "You think so?"

	Nara nodded.  "Some like groups, some just need one 
person."  Or keep quiet about it so as not to risk losing the 
one they have, anyway.

	"Are you okay?" Tenma asked Akira; she seemed a 
little strange.

	"I'm fine," Akira said.  "I'm just content."

	Tenma frowned.  Did this mean Akira was normally 
unhappy and hiding it?  That made her feel bad for her 
friend.  But I ought to be happy for her.  "I just feel like I 
should do something."

	"I spent too long keeping the lid on those three," Akira 
said.  "They have to find their own answer."

	"You didn't like it when Hanai..." Tenma began.

	Akira's composure snapped.  "That's because he thinks 
about other women instead of focusing on his girlfriend, 
unlike my wonderful boyfriend, who prefers me over 
anyone else." Her grip on Nara tightened.

	He carefully kept silent.

	"I...but they...Harima...two women..." Tenma babbled.

	"Right now is not the time to demand Harima make up 
his mind.  He can't think straight right now.  And he wasn't 
stringing them along before this the way Hanai does."  
Because he loved you, Akira thought.  She felt kind of bad 
for Yakumo and Eri; she cared about her friends.  But 
maybe now one of them could win his heart.  Let them 
have their chance.  And if Harima turned monkey...then she 
would make him pay.

	"But I mean..."

	"Don't worry," Akira said.  "They have to work it out 
themselves.  But I'm sure they'll be fine."  She was feeling 
optimistic, though her failure to confess her own divided 
feelings was starting to nag at her again.  But maybe...it 
wasn't like she'd ever acted on them, right?  She stuck by 
her boyfriend's side through it all.  He loved her, even 
though she wasn't very loveable.  So she would give him all 
the love she could.  Surely the things she did for him 
showed she loved him.  Right?
		
*************

	"It's all in the mind," Lady Harima told Onna-Harima.  
"They turn me into all sorts of weird shit all the time, so I'm 
more resistant to morfosis."

	"Morfosis?" Onna-Harima asked.

	"Yeah," Lady Harima said.  Something like that.  
Some Morfological something something...her way 
sounded like a proper disease, anyway.  Psychosis was a 
mental thing, right?  So this was close enough.  "It's the 
thing where, when you shapechange, you start thinking like 
what you turn into."

	Onna-Harima nodded.  That made sense.  "Part of the 
spell?"

	"Yeah.  Anyway, so the trick is to think of shit you 
like normally and try and keep reminding yourself of the 
old you.  Otherwise, the new you seduces you and you end 
up checking out some guy's butt."  Lady Harima was 
looking towards Otoko-Eri; it was unclear if she was 
checking out a butt or not.

	Onna-Harima did check it out before she caught 
herself.  I should be looking at women's butts, she thought.  
But that would make a monkey, which Tenma told me not 
to.  Yakumo's butt.  I can watch that; she's my 
girlfriend...but now she's busy kissing Eri and maybe she 
won't want to be the girlfriend of a girl and I was just 
dating her because Tenma told me to, and I feel so weird.  
Eri is hot, though.  No, not hot, not thinking in a gay way 
about Eri!  But Eri is really a woman, so looking at Eri's 
butt would mean I'm really a straight guy, appreciating a 
woman's butt.  Right?

	"You two checking out some fine male bodies and 
pretending not to?" Sagano asked.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said absently, too busy trying to 
determine what other butts were safe or not to think things 
through.

	"You know, Tani-sensei is kind of hot in that outfit," 
Sagano said.  "And Lord Fuyuki."  She paused.  "So, wait, 
he's a Cabana Boy and you're a Martial Artist..."

	"Brawler," Lady Harima said.  "I got awarded the title 
for rescuing the Princess.  And he's of noble blood."

	"Brawler...isn't that like Martial Arts?"

	"MUCH MORE BAD ASS," Lady Harima said.

	Am I gay if I look at Yakumo's butt?  No, I'm really a 
man and she's really a woman...so only look at male butts if 
they're actually women's butts, and Eri's guy body is so 
nice to look at anyway, Onna-Harima thought.  So I don't 
need to worry.  Except I have a girlfriend...who Eri is 
trying to steal.  Or is she leaving me for a real man?  Onna-
Harima wasn't too happy either way.

	"So, when you going to make out with Eri, hmm?" 
Sagano asked, poking Onna-Harima.

	"I can't let my boyfriend steal my girlfriend," Onna-
Harima mumbled.

	"Dude, you're losing yourself again," Lady Harima 
said.  "Turn around."

	Onna-Harima turned around.  "What?"

	"Is she not hot?" Lady Harima pointed at Sagano.

	Sagano felt embarrassed for a moment, then posed 
seductively.

	Onna-Harima felt like someone had set her hormones 
to puree; they were spinning wildly.  Even as a boy, she'd 
hardly noticed Sagano.  But suddenly, Sagano looked 
really, really good, even better than Tenma.  There was this 
glitter of lights about her and she had such a lovely body 
and Onna-Harima wanted to...wanted to...

	She was suddenly aware she wasn't sure what exactly 
she wanted to do with Sagano, but it was something or 
another that definitely involved touching.  And kissing.  

	"Whoah, better stop posing," Lady Harima said, 
licking her lips.  "I think my evil twin's about to lose it."

	Sagano moved to a more normal stance and now 
Onna-Harima could see she was pretty good looking but 
not so...compelling.  "Was that magic?"

	"I guess," Lady Harima said uncertainly.  "Anyway, 
you gotta remember to lust after women, no matter how 
seductive Blondie looks in his hunting outfit with his giant 
metal wand.  It's probably just a substitute for the real 
thing, anyway."

	Sagano and Onna-Harima backed away from Lady 
Harima.

	"He's right behind me, isn't he?" Lady Harima said, 
sensing approaching doom.

	"YES," Otoko-Eri said.

	They soon vanished off into the distance in a chase.  
They could hear Tani-sensei banging his head on a tree.

	"Look, Harima-san, seriously," Sagano said.  "You 
shouldn't fight this.  Embrace it.  You'll go back to normal 
soon, right?  So why not take this chance to learn what it's 
like to be a woman?  You'll understand women better and 
surely that will help you with your two girlfriends, right?"

	It sounded sensible which caused Onna-Harima to 
worry, since Sagano was not a fount of reason.  To listen to 
her was to tiptoe down the primrose path which leads to 
destruction.  And yet...There had to be some logic hole.  I 
think I had best talk to someone smart...Akira, maybe.  
That would be wise.  Hopefully.

****************

	She was on her way to see Akira when Itoko pulled 
her aside.  "Kenji," she said.  "Did Tae-sensei give you all 
the information you need to stay hygenic?"

	"Yes," she mumbled to her cousin.

	"Good.  I know you don't want to be a woman, but 
staying healthy is important," Itoko said.

	Onna-Harima nodded.

	"You three sleeping together?" Itoko asked.

	"No!  I wouldn't sleep with a boy!  Even if he's really 
a girl!"  She paused.  "Or would that make it not sleeping 
with a...no, can't think like that, dammit!"

	Sasakura-sensei said, "You sound confused."

	"I'm not confused!  I know who I am and what I 
want."

	"Really," Itoko said.

	This time, Onna-Harima made emphatic hand 
gestures.  "Yes.  I am a boy who just happens to be in a 
woman's body right now and..."  She thought a moment 
about Sagano's advice.  No way she could tell Itoko about 
that.  Itoko would DESTROY her with that.  

	"Wouldn't it be fine to kiss Eri, then?" Sasakura-sensei 
said.  "Girls can kiss either way and it's fine."

	"Really?" Onna-Harima asked.

	"It's just guys who have to be careful.  So you could 
kiss both of them," Sasakura-sensei said.

	"You're not helping," Itoko said.

	Sasakura-sensei quickly looked around, then kissed 
Itoko.  "Like that."

	Itoko looked embarrassed.  "Youko..."

	"But I'm really a guy," Onna-Harima said.  
	
	"Yes, but Yakumo is really a girl and so is Eri.  So 
kissing them both is fine," Sasakura-sensei said.  

	"Don't fill his head with stuff which will confuse him," 
Itoko said to Sasakura-sensei.  

	Onna-Harima was glad to be called 'he'.  But really, it 
made sense.  If he was really a guy, then it didn't matter if 
Eri had a boy body right now or...  "And Eri kissing 
Yakumo?"

	"Girls kissing each other is fine," Sasakura-sensei 
said.

	"Youko, he..."

	"You didn't mind my kisses last night," Sasakura-
sensei said, hands on her hips.  

	Onna-Harima felt brain cells die at the thought, and 
felt an odd tingly feeling.

	"We can't expect him to keep track of anything even 
vaguely subtle," Itoko protested.

	"This isn't subtle.  Harima-san, you should kiss 
whoever you like.  Just don't run around like a wild 
monkey," Sasakura-sensei said.

	Well, that made sense.  Discretion, faithfulness, those 
were good things.  It just...no, surely a teacher wouldn't lie 
to me, she thought.  Also, Itoko thinks she's wrong, 
therefore, she must be right.

	I won't fall for my cousin's tricks this time!  Onna-
Harima nodded.  "Thank you."  She ran off before Itoko 
could trick her in some way to embarrass her.

*************
	
	Yakumo wanted to spend some more time with Kenji, 
but she was nervous about approaching him while he was a 
woman.  It made her feel strange and she wasn't sure what 
exactly their relationship was.  Though he thought more of 
her, she could tell that.

	So instead, she sat with Sara, Asou, Suga, and Satsuki 
as they ate dinner.  "So what is up with you three, 
anyway?" Suga asked.  "Not to pry."

	"You are prying," Satsuki pointed out.

	"Picky, picky," he said.

	"I don't know," Yakumo mumbled.

	"What?" Suga asked in confusion.

	"Drop it," Asou ordered, waving his hunk of bread 
like a command rod.  

	"Kenji-kun's all confused right now; I don't know if he 
knows what he feels or anything, so I think...I shouldn't 
press anything until he's back to normal," Yakumo said.  
She hoped she wasn't just wimping out.

	"Well, it's just all three of you in one tent and you are 
his girlfriend and she's not," Suga said.  "I don't see why 
you don't kick Sawachika out."

	I'm not strong-willed enough, that's why, Yakumo 
thought.  And it seemed to help Kenji sleep to have them 
both there.  Until something disastrous would happen, 
anyway.  But really...  "You've never tried to say no to her."

	"True," Suga said.  "But you shouldn't put up with it."

	That's true, Yakumo said.  I have to be assertive.  I'll 
tell her tonight to go sleep somewhere else.

	Tonight.

************

	"We should probably see if your sister wants to stay 
with us," Onna-Harima said to Yakumo when she came 
into the tent.  

	"My sister?"

	"Except for Eri, her friends have all peeled off to stay 
with boyfriends and Eri is here with us, so..."

	"Well, Sawachika-sempai could sleep with Tenma-
neechan," Yakumo began.

	"A guy and a girl alone together?  Are you crazy?  We 
really should have at least three of us to make sure Eri 
doesn't succumb to his lusts and start showering us with his 
firm, pleasant kisses."  Onna-Harima looked slightly 
panicked.  

	"We could send him off on his own and..." Yakumo 
began.

	"He has to be monitored.  Closely," Onna-Harima 
said.  I need to be able to emb...grapple him if necessary."

	"But the other guys..."

	"Don't burn with desire for me," Onna-Harima said.  
"Not our problem.  And he clearly wants you too, so it's not 
wise to let him out of your sight."

	"Wants me?" Yakumo asked in surprise.  "It was an 
accident."

	"He's going to have to kiss everyone, just to be fair, 
and then we'll have to make sure he doesn't get out of 
hand," Onna-Harima said.

	Yakumo tried to study her thoughts; it was a chaotic 
mess, but seemed to feature a lot of images of Eri kissing 
all three of them.  "Did she really kiss my sister?"

	"He undoubtably did," Onna-Harima said.  "No male 
could resist her lips."

	"But...isn't she really a woman?" Yakumo asked.

	"You don't understand how much this change affects 
the mind if you don't fill it with creme...I mean with 
thoughts that remind you of your old self."  Images of 
motorcycles, of riding with her and Eri flooded Onna-
Harima's head as Yakumo observed.

	Yakumo sighed.  "Well, if you think it's necessary..."

	"He'll try to seduce us all if we don't make sure he's 
under our watch," Onna-Harima proclaimed.  "It's the only 
way."

	"Well, umm, I'll get them."

	"You get your sister, I'll get Eri-san," Onna-Harima 
said.

	"Okay," Yakumo said, heading off to find her sister.

	She found Tenma about to camp out with Sagano and 
Yuuki again.  "Neechan, want to come sleep with Kenji-
kun, Sawachika-san, and me?"

	"Sure," Tenma said.  "I have to make sure you three 
don't do anything crazy."

	"I am not going to do anything crazy," Yakumo said.

	"Well, that will make my job easier, then."

	This was going to be a long night.

*****************

	"You gonna come crash with us again?  Tenma-san 
will be there too," Onna-Harima said.

	"You sure that's wise?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "Given your 
feelings and all."

	"I'm over her," Onna-Harima lied.  She was trying but 
you couldn't just reverse course like that.  "I just don't want 
her to end up without her friends, given Takano-san and 
Suou-san are with their boyfriends."

	"True," Otoko-Eri said.  "Sure, we can go."

	"Just don't try anything perverted," Onna-Harima said.

	"Perverted?  If you're afraid I'm a pervert, why are you 
inviting me to sleep with three women?" Otoko-Eri 
demanded.

	"I have to keep an eye on you," Onna-Harima said.  
"Before you try and kiss me or Yakumo again."

	"You'd like it if I did," Otoko-Eri said smugly as they 
began walking towards the tent.

	"I would not!" Onna-Harima protested.  "Not that it 
would be bad if I did.  A woman can kiss anyone and it's 
okay.  So long as she's not a monkey."

	"What kind of crazy logic is THAT?," Otoko-Eri 
demanded.  "I'm a woman!  So I should be able to kiss 
anyone by that logic!"

	"You shouldn't be kissing my girlfriend without 
kissing me!" Onna-Harima protested.  

	"It was an accident!  And I already kissed you once!" 
Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"You were a girl, it doesn't count against your boy-
kisses!" Onna-Harima bellowed back.  
	  
	"What kind of crazy logic is that?" Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"A woman may make any logic she pleases!" Onna-
Harima said.  "If I've learned anything about women, it's 
that!"

	"So you're a woman when it suits you and a boy when 
it doesn't?" Otoko-Eri said.  "Fine!  I'll kiss you and even 
things out!"

	Grab.  Embrace.  KISS.

	It was only when the first rush of pleasure began to die 
down that it sank into Onna-Harima's mind that she was 
kissing a boy.  She started to panic, then thought about 
what Sasakura-sensei had told her.  Either Eri was really a 
girl and her a boy and it was okay, or else she was really a 
girl and Eri a boy and it was also okay.  Right?  

	Finally, Otoko-Eri broke off the kiss.  "There, now 
you owe me two kisses."

	"What?"

	"I've kissed you twice, you haven't initiated it at all 
yet, so you owe me two," Otoko-Eri said.

	Stupid boy logic.  "But you can kiss Yakumo again if 
I..."

	"I'm not going to kiss Yakumo!" Otoko-Eri said.  "We 
should ask Tenma; she'll lay down the truth."

	"Fine, we will."

*************** 

	"Hmm, well, if we think purely in terms of balance, 
then technically speaking, I think Kenji would need to kiss 
Yakumo twice and Eri and Yakumo would need to kiss one 
more time to balance things out.  However...THAT IS 
COMPLETE MONKEY THINKING," Tenma said.  
"Clearly, you have both gone insane, and Yakumo and I 
will have to restrain you until you regain your sanity."

	"I think you're just jealous because your boyfriend 
isn't here," Otoko-Eri said crankily.

	"I'm just jealous because no one wants to kiss me!" 
Tenma shouted, then tried to pretend she'd never been born 
when it sank in what she'd shouted.

	Having everyone look sympathetic was worse than 
having everyone make fun of her for it.  She stared at the 
ground while Yakumo patted her shoulder, until Otoko-Eri 
said, "Well, I could kiss you if it would help."

	Steam came out of Onna-Harima's ears, while 
Yakumo stared at Otoko-Eri.  She's just out of control, 
Yakumo thought.  

	"I...uh...I have a boyfriend...sort of..."  Tenma blushed 
and stared at the ground.  

	"If I can't kiss better than Karasuma, I don't deserve to 
live," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Don't try to seduce my sister too!" Yakumo said, 
moving between them as Otoko-Eri swooped down.  The 
inevitable result was an unintended lip collision.  

 	Onna-Harima watched in shock, then pulled them 
apart.  "You kissed my girlfriend again!," she protested.  
"Right in front of me and her sister!"

	"SHE GOT IN THE WAY!"

	"Of you kissing Tenma!  Are you going to kiss every 
girl in the camp????" Onna-Harima demanded.

	"Only the...no," Otoko-Eri said before he could 
incriminate himself.  

	"This is why you have to be watched," Onna-Harima 
proclaimed.  "So you don't strip and try to seduce us with 
your manly body!"

	"You're the one who walked in naked on me at the 
beach, you know!" Otoko-Eri said, pointing at her.  "What 
if you get naked and try to seduce ME?"

	Yakumo hadn't heard about this.  Her mind began 
constructing scenarios.  Kenji-kun...male...naked...  Her 
eyes crossed and she fell over, fainting.

	"Yakumo!" Tenma said, catching her.

	"See what you did?" Onna-Harima demanded.

	"I could wake her with a kiss," Otoko-Eri said 
speculatively.

	"You are NOT going for a triple-crown!" Onna-
Harima protested.  

	"Her nose is bleeding, does someone have a tissue?" 
Tenma asked.

	"You've turned my girlfriend into a nosebleeding 
pervert!" Onna-Harima said.  

	"You're the fool who started talking about naked 
people!  Fine!  You want nudity, we can do nudity," Otoko-
Eri said, taking off his jacket.

	Onna-Harima stared mindlessly as her brain went into 
a spin cycle.

	Yakumo dreamed of being at the beach and everyone 
was naked and she was so embarrassed she could die, but 
Kenji pulled her out into the water and...

	Tenma began to gibber.  "I...Eri...boyfriend...body..."

	"TAKE IT OFF!  TAKE IT ALL OFF!" Sagano said.

	Everyone jumped, except Yakumo, who was 
unconscious.

	"WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?" Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"We followed you because we knew this would be 
funny.  We've been spying the whole time," Sagano said.  
She and Yuuki had lifted one side of the tent just a little 
and peeped under it; now their heads were stuck through.  
"C'mon, work it, Eri."

	"You want to see me strip?" Otoko-Eri asked in shock.

	"You're pretty hot right now," Sagano said.  "And 
while no doubt we'd die of embarrassment later when 
you're back to normal, I believe consequences are for other 
people, not me."

	Yuuki stared at the ground, looking embarrassed.

	"My boyfriend is not going to strip for you!" Onna-
Harima said.

	"Oh, now I'm your boyfriend?" Otoko-Eri said.  "Any 
chance you might EVER MAKE UP YOUR MIND?"

	"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind 
whenever she likes," Onna-Harima said.

	"You can't just be a guy when it's convenient and a 
woman when THAT is convenient!" Otoko-Eri said.

	"Sure I can," she said.

	Otoko-Eri gripped the sides of her head, trying to 
prevent it from exploding.  

	Tenma said, "Well, umm..."

	Sagano said, "Sorry, Sawachika, but you're a guy now, 
so your women's club membership is revoked until you turn 
back."

	"There's a club?" Tenma asked.

	There really was no other option but to just start 
killing every living thing on the planet, Otoko-Eri realized.  
Just wipe them out.  ALL OF THEM.

	Just as he began imagining raining down death and 
destruction on the entire universe, Yakumo woke up, 
looking panicked.  She tugged at her clothing, then relaxed.

	Tenma pulled herself together, rose, and hugged 
Otoko-Eri.  "I'm sorry, we're all just kind of worked up and 
I'm missing my Karasuma."

	Otoko-Eri felt the rage drain out of him; he couldn't 
see Onna-Harima looking jealously at Tenma.  "Yeah, I'm 
sorry too.  We shouldn't all fight pointlessly."

	"Does this mean no stripping?" Sagano asked, 
sounding disappointed.

	"You really want me to strip?" Otoko-Eri asked.  He 
had assumed she was teasing.

	"Sure!  Half-to-all naked guys are a good thing," 
Sagano said.

	"But I'm really a girl."  Otoko-Eri sounded nervous.

	"Right now, you're a guy, a guy who's gonna vanish 
soon and never be seeable naked again," Sagano said.  
"One must seize the chance while one can."

	Yuuki mumbled into the dirt.

	"Sorry, not going to let you see my boyfriend naked," 
Onna-Harima said.

	"You can't have a boyfriend and a girlfriend!" Tenma 
protested.

	"Hey, you have three girlfriends and a boyfriend and 
no one protests," Onna-Harima said.  "It's a woman's 
prerogative."

	"But...they're not...we don't...I mean, you're not my 
girlfriend like THAT, are you, Eri-chan?" Tenma asked in 
confusion.

	"I'd be your boyfriend right now," he said.  
"Technically speaking."  

	This didn't help matters.

	I haven't been kissing Eri and going out on dates with 
her without remembering, have I?, Tenma asked herself.  
I'm not some kind of were-lesbian who dates women when 
the moon is full, right?

	She asked Yuuki, "What phase is the moon right 
now?"

	"Uh, what?" Yuuki asked.

	"Hold on," Sagano said, head vanishing.  Her head 
soon returned.  "Looks like a full moon to me."

	The tent must be shielding me from the moon's 
transforming rays, Tenma thought.  I've got stay inside 
where it's safe!

	Yakumo said, "We...umm, Kenji-san and Sawachika-
sempai and I...we should probably talk in private."		

	"I can't leave the tent!" Tenma said frantically.

	"What?" Yakumo asked in confusion.

	"I'll...get a rash," she said lamely.

	Yakumo blinked.  "Do you need some lotion?  I have 
some in my pack, oneechan."

	"The moonlight is bad for my skin," Tenma mumbled.

	"I'm not leaving until it stops being entertaining," 
Sagano said.  "So..."

	She was suddenly dragged out of sight, as was Yuuki.  
They could hear her saying, "No, Yuri-sensei, not 
the...aaaaaahhh!!!!!"  There were splashing noises.

	Yakumo sighed.  She wasn't comfortable trying to 
discuss this with her sister right here.

	Tae-sensei stuck her head in.  "They won't be back."

	"Thank you, sensei," Onna-Harima said.  "They 
wanted Eri to strip."

	"Oh my."  Tae-sensei shook her head.  "Tenma-chan, I 
need you to come help me with something."

	"I can't go out in the moonlight!" Tenma said 
frantically.

	"Now, it's time to face your fear."  Tae-sensei dragged 
Tenma out; the trio could hear her howling, though it soon 
stopped.

	"I hope oneechan is okay," Yakumo said.

	"Me too," Onna-Harima said.

	"Me three," Otoko-Eri said, then sat down and sighed.  
"Look, Yakumo, all these times kissing you are just 
accidents.  I mean, you're a good kisser, and if things were 
different...but things are normally different and I'm already 
starting to talk crazy."  He sighed, leaning forward and 
gripping his head again.

	Onna-Harima started to say something, then fell silent.  
"We're both kind of crazy right now, please be patient with 
us," she said.  "I can't...I can't think straight, even worse 
than before.  Just...you shouldn't take anything I say too 
seriously until I'm a boy again.  Okay, Yakumo-san?"  She 
looked very regretful.

	"You just...you keep...I want to believe in you, but..."  
Yakumo peered at Onna-Harima's thoughts; they were a 
jumbled mess, though she could feel her and Otoko-Eri's 
presence in those thoughts.

	"Please," Otoko-Eri said.  "Be patient with us."

	She could see herself in Otoko-Eri's thoughts; they 
were kissing. She felt flustered at that and thought about 
the pleasant taste of his kisses, then made herself stop.  

	"I'll try," Yakumo said.  Though they were enough to 
try even her patience.

	Onna-Harima yawned.  "We should sleep, then."

	They soon settled down to sleep; Yakumo prayed 
there would be no more accidents in the morning.

**********

	"What do you need me for?" Tenma asked, slipping 
from shadow to shadow, trying to stay out of the 
moonlight.

	"Suou-san tells me you're a pretty good shot with a 
bow.  We need you to shoot down some Dire Owls that are 
lurking around some of the tents."

	"No problem, so long as I stay out of the moonlight," 
Tenma said.  "Glad to help."

	"Why are you worried about the moonlight?" Tae-
sensei asked her, curiously.

	"No reason," Tenma said.  

	"Isn't it pretty?" Tae-sensei asked.

	"It's evil," Tenma said, ducking between trees.

	Tae-sensei gave up and took her to the owls.  

 	Armed with a bow, Tenma soon shot two out of the 
tree and sent a third packing.  She sighed.  "Poor owls."

	"Dire Owls are very dangerous predators," Martial 
Artist Mikoto pointed out.  "Thanks, Tenma-sama."

	"And see, the moonlight didn't hurt you," Tae-sensei 
said to Tenma.  "You're in it right now."

	Tenma screamed and fainted.

	"I hope she hasn't convinced herself she's a wereferret 
again," Martial Artist Mikoto said.

	"That was our Princess," Cabana Boy Nara pointed 
out.

	"True," she said.  

	Tae-sensei checked her carefully.  "Hmm, she seems 
physically okay.  She's probably just worked up over the 
whole mess with her sister."

	"It is rather a mess," Martial Artist Mikoto said.  "But 
I'm sure someone in the city will be able to help."

	"Well, I'll take her to lie down," Tae-sensei said.  She 
no doubt just needs some rest.

**********

	Everyone was woken in the morning by the sound of 
Onna-Harima bellowing, a tent collapsing and Yakumo, 
Tenma, Onna-Harima, and Otoko-Eri fleeing the tent in 
four different directions.

	A groggy Lord Fuyuki stuck his head out of his tent.  
"Is this some sort of weird custom from your world?" he 
asked the universe.  

	Sagano stuck her head out of her nearby tent.  "It's 
their own special retarded custom, I think," she said, 
yawning.

	"Well, at least it lets us know what time to get out of 
bed."

	I suppose looking on the brighter side is the better part 
of valor, Sagano thought.  Or something like that.

**********

	Hanai told himself again he should just ignore Lala 
and Martial Artist Hanai carrying on.  If she chose to chase 
after an extra-dimensional version of himself she wouldn't 
see again after they got home, that was her business.  
Really, it would be better if she moved on.

	That way, he wouldn't miss her kisses.  

	He told himself not to think about her, to focus on 
Mikoto.  But his brain seemed to have let go of Yakumo 
only to start obsessing on Lala.  

	He banged his head against a tree, knocking it down.

	"You okay?" Mikoto asked, looking up from her 
breakfast of fish and rice.  

	"I'm fine," he said.  "Just needed to wake up."

	"Okay," she said a little dubiously.  "I hope your father 
hasn't done anything too bad to Miki and Masahiro."

	"I'm sure they're fine."

*************

	The trucker looked curiously at the crate.  "Is that 
pounding?"

	"It's just the contents settling," Mr. Hanai said, lifting 
it into the back.  "I'll pay you when we reach the Seikan 
Tunnel, but here's the downpayment."  He passed 20,000 
yen to the trucker.

	"Sounds good to me," the trucker said.  "Let's lay the 
hammer down."

*************

	"Are my Defenders back yet?" Princess Tenma asked 
the majordomo, Hibiki, who was a tall thin man with grey 
hair.  

	"Only the ones in detention, Princess," he said.  He 
was watching over her to make sure she did her homework.

	A runner came in as she sat at her desk, doodling 
pictures of Lord Karasuma and her flying instead of doing 
her homework.  "Princess!  The Wardens have captured 
three forest lunatics."

	"What, more mushroom eaters?" Princess Tenma 
asked.  The mushrooms were very dangerous as they were 
oh-so-tasty, but made you progressively more crazy.

	"Yes.  Normally, I wouldn't bother you," the young 
dark haired man said.  "But one of them is raving about 
dopplegangers coming to kill you, and how he's going to 
rescue you.  So I thought you might want to take a look."

	Excuse to get out of homework!  SCORE, she thought.  
"I'll come right away."

	To her surprise, Majordomo Hibiki didn't protest.

	Studying the prisoners, she said, "Isn't this Wrestler 
Karen, Lord Fuyuki and...LORD KARASUMA!"  She 
shook the bars.  "Did Lord Harima tell you to lock him 
up?"

	Karasuma rose and studied her.  "Are you Tenma?  Or 
another DOPPLEGANGER?  Am I too late?"   He began to 
wail.

	"It's me, my love," she said.  "Bring him out."

	"He's in the throes of mushroom madness," the 
Majordomo protested.  "Also, you're right, it does look like 
them...which means they may all be dopplegangers who ate 
the mushrooms on the way to kill you."  He frowned.  "We 
should triple security."

	"They could be heroes from another world," the 
messenger boy pointed out.

	"Oh not bloody again," Majordomo Hibiki said, 
sighing.  "You'd think the gods would trust us to clean up 
our own messes...  But probably they're evil 
dopplegan...give me the keys, your highness!"

	It was too late; Princess Tenma opened the door, then 
pulled out Karasuma as the other two gibbered.  "Send for 
Nurse Witch Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama to treat their 
madness."

	Majordomo Hibiki never liked people with more than 
two classes.  It was showing off, that's what it was.  "I think 
she's a Harem Ninja these days too."

	"I lost track," Tenma said.  "And send for Priestess 
Sara.  I may need her divine powers for Lord Karasuma."

	"She's gone with the expedition, your highness."

	"Blast.  I'll just have to do the rites myself," Princess 
Tenma said.  "I haven't levelled up from my last adventure, 
anyway.  I'll take my new level in Cleric."

	"Priestess, Princess."

	"Hmm, Priestess Princess Tenma.  I like the sound of 
that," Princess Tenma said.

	"Can you be a Priestess when you can't ever remember 
all of the seven major gods?"  Majordomo Hibiki asked 
dubiously as Karasuma raved about how Elvis sightings 
were a clear sign of doppleganger influence.

	"I'll get the skill when I level.  Have the holy icons 
sent to my room."  She began dragging off Karasuma.

	He sighed.  "Yes, Princess."  He would be sooo glad 
when this regency was finally over, but he feared that 
wouldn't happen until the last game of this series, whenever 
THAT was.

	It wouldn't do him any good right now, anyway.

***************
	
	"Rivals make the best lovers," Masked Wrestler 
Laladora told Lala.

	Lala boggled.  "But she...Karen...how can you two..."  
It was just...she wanted to defeat Karen, not sleep with her.

	Masked Wrestler Laladora said, "It started by 
accident, but it's been for the best.  No one could 
understand me as well as another wrestler."  She smiled, 
leaning against a tree.  

	They were supposed to be gathering wood, but it had 
turned into a talk.  

	"On the other hand, you're taking that monkey off my 
back for me, so thank you," Laladora said.  "It's nice to 
have some peace.  I wish you could keep him."

	Lala sighed; she didn't need the reminder this was only 
temporary and every night her world's Hanai fell more 
under Suou's evil sway.  What would she do when she had 
to go home?  She didn't know.

***************

	Princess Tenma had discovered that little could 
restrain Karasuma except for sitting by him and holding his 
hand.  She was still waiting for the idols so she could take 
her cleric...Priestess level.

	So they sat on her bed while he gibbered quietly.  
"Those two dolls are alike...one is a doppleganger!"  He 
seized Rustmonster-Riding Barbie and locked her in a 
chest.  "That will take that one out of commission!"

	Nurse Itoko now entered.  She had secret Ninja class 
levels, but no one was supposed to mention them even if 
everyone knew.

	She walked over.  "'shrooms?"

	"So they say," Princess Tenma said.

	Itoko punched Karasuma in the gut, causing him to 
puke up his latest mushroom intake onto the bed.

	"HEY!" Princess Tenma said.

	"Keep him from eating more; he'll be fine in the 
morning," Nurse Itoko said, turning to go.  "Whatever he is, 
he seems to find you soothing."

	Don't worry, my love, Princess Tenma thought.  
Whether this is you or a double, I will love you back to 
perfect health!

****************

	The forest opened up before them, revealing a great 
plain dotted with villages and farms and rivers.  "We 
should be able to get horses here and ride to the capital 
quickly now," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"Assuming anyone besides me knows how to ride a 
horse," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Oh please, it can't be any harder than riding a 
motorcycle," Onna-Harima said.

	Otoko-Eri grinned in an almost feral manner.

***************

	"OWW!!!!"

	"AAAAAAAA!!!!!"

	"OWWW!!!"

	Fretfully, from horseback, Yuri asked Tae, "Those 
aren't significant head injuries, are they?"

	Tae, who wobbled in the saddle, but managed to stay 
on her horse as it paced nervously, said, "Don't worry, 
Hario's skull is so thick, I don't think he's hurt."

	"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!"

***********

	They finally got on their way, with the Defenders 
scattered among them to help the inexperienced and Yuri 
and Tani-sensei and Otoko-Eri taking the lead (as all three 
had more horse riding experience than anyone else in their 
group).  

	Travel across the plains was thankfully peaceful.  
They finally rode up to the gates of Sukuran City, then 
passed through the city towards Sukuran Castle.  Great 
crowds came out to stare at them.

	Mikoto whispered to Martial Artist Mikoto, "Are you 
guys famous?"

	"Infamous, maybe," Martial Artist Mikoto said, 
laughing nervously.  "But we're the Princess' future guards 
and assistants in training, so yes.  When she's Queen, we'll 
be her special guards, ministers, and task force of 
heroines."

	"And heroes," Cabana Boy Nara added, waving to the 
crowds.  He seemed to bask in the adulation like a cat in the 
sun.

	"Wow," Mikoto said.  She felt kind of envious.  

	There were lots of confused whispers passing through 
the crowds.  

	Hanai felt, deep in his heart, this was no doubt a 
prelude to a riot.  He began contemplating options just in 
case.

	They reached the huge towering palace at the center of 
town after a long march up a hill; its five towers stretched 
skywards, glittering gold and bronze and topped with onion 
domes.  Majordomo Hibiki stood at the gate, staring in 
surprise.

	Martial Artist Mikoto took the lead, stepping up and 
bowing.  "We come with a small army of heroes from a 
parallel universe."

	"Dammit, not again," Majordomo Hibiki mumbled, 
then more loudly said, "Welcome.  Are you missing 
anyone?  We acquired some other doubles recently."

	"I don't suppose you have Karasuma-san?" Tenma 
asked nervously.

	"Yes, we do.  The Princess has been nursing him to 
health."  

	Tenma felt nervous.  "Is she trained as a nurse?"

	"Of course not, but he's survived it anyway," 
Majordomo Hibiki said.  "Come in, I'll take you to him."

	"I'll take you three to the Archmagus," Sorceress Eri 
said to Lady Harima, Onna-Harima, and Otoko-Eri.

	"FINALLY," Onna-Harima said.  

	"I want to see Karasuma-kun," Tenma said.

	"Take the rest of us to the Princess," Martial Artist 
Mikoto said.  "We must report in to her."

	"Follow me."

***************

	The Archmagus looked suspiciously like the Principal 
back home to Onna-Harima, who got a nervous feeling.  He 
got out a giant lens and studied the three of them, Sorceress 
Eri, Witch Yakumo, and Yakumo for good measure.

	"Fascinating.  I didn't think you potent enough to 
transform people permanently, Sorcress Eri," he said.

	"It was HIS fault," Sorceress Eri said, pointing to 
Otoko-Eri, who grumbled.

	"Amazing.  Well, sometimes novices can fumble their 
way to a great deed," the Archmagus said.

	Otoko-Eri grumbled more.

	"The solution, of course, is simple," the Archmagus 
said, setting aside his lens.

	Onna-Harima gave a sigh of relief.

	"You must storm the lair of the Green Dragon Clan 
and recover the Belt of Gender-Bending.  This should turn 
them all back to normal."

	"Are they ninjas?  Bandits?  Goblins?" Onna-Harima 
asked.  Must be this world's equivalent of that stupid gang 
we clobbered.

	"You can't do it yourself?" Otoko-Eri asked in 
surprise.

	"Wise Old Men are not allowed to help the heroes 
without sending them on a quest first," he said 
apologetically.  "It's the easiest quest I have on file."

	"Are they ninjas?  Bandits?  Goblins?" Onna-Harima 
asked again, slightly miffed.

	"They're Green Dragons.  Hence the name."

	"..."

	"Got any magic bullets?" Otoko-Eri asked.

	"Do we get to punch them out or is this a stealth 
mission with no punching?" Lady Harima asked.

	"Is this gonna be a bug hunt?" Otoko-Eri asked.  It had 
to be said in this sort of situation, really.

	"Do whatever you feel like to get it," the Old Man 
said.  

	"Anything you can do to help them keep their 
identities straight?" Yakumo asked hesitantly.

	"Hey, I'm completely sure of my identity," Lady 
Harima said.  "She's the one who keeps checking out cute 
guys before I can," she said, pointing to Onna-Harima.

	"Hmm.  If I remember correctly, sex helps you avoid 
losing your identity, but this is a family universe, so you 
probably won't manage to have any," the Archmage said.

	"Our teachers have loud, noisy sex every night!" 
Otoko-Eri protested.

	"Really?  Our rating must have changed.  Well, in that 
case, knock yourself out."  He paused, looking at Sorcress 
Eri and Witch Yakumo meaningfully.  "That's a 
metaphorical knock out."

	"You're kidding, right?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "How 
would sex help?"

	"It initializes the flow of positive energy to your 
chakras, reinforcing your deep metaphysical structures, 
such as identity," the Archmagus said confidently, waving 
his hands about.  "Really, though, you're all too young for 
sex, so forget about that.  In which case, I recommend the 
Harima read lots of books with punching and that Eri read 
lots of romance novels."

	"But I don't LIKE romance novels," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Then your identity may be damaged until you get the 
belt."

	Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	Books with punching, Onna-Harima thought.  
JACKPOT.

	"Let's go get some books with punching," Lady 
Harima said to Onna-Harima.

	"You're on!"  

	They skipped off together, arm in arm, leaving Otoko-
Eri to grumble as Witch Yakumo and Sorceress Eri 
dragged her off in search of romance novels.

	Once they were gone, Yakumo asked very hesitantly, 
"When you said sex..."

	"Hmm, yes, intercourse, the beast with two backs, 
bouncing monkeys, whatever they call it in your world," 
the Archmagus said.

	Yakumo blushed.  "How...much?"

	"Nightly, at bare minimum.  But really, you're too 
young.  You can help your boyfriend with the difficult bits 
in between the punches in the books; that's probably your 
best way to help."  He smiled at her.  "Good luck."

	She blushed.  "Am I that obvious?"

	"Yes."

	"Thank you," she said, bowing.  "Is there anything else 
at all I could do for him too?"

	"Just keep reminding him when he wavers," the 
Archmage said.

	"I will," she said, and headed out after the others.

	Later, he consulted his book on gender-bending to 
double-check his statements to them.  Oh, the sex will 
stimulate the chakras of the new identity...well, they surely 
won't have sex after I told them not to, anyway.  They look 
like good kids.  I'm sure it will be just fine, he thought.

*************
	
	"Karasuma-kun!" Tenma squealed as soon as they 
reached Princess Tenma's chambers.  She ran right at him.

	"DOPPLEGANGER!" he shouted, somehow drawing 
a sword and charging at her.  

	Hanai moved swiftly, disarmed him, then knocked 
him to the ground.  "Something's wrong with him."

	"I never got the idols so I couldn't take a level of 
Priestess and cure him!" Princess Tenma said frantically.

	Priestess Sara sighed, moved up, laid her hands on 
him as Hanai pinned his head with a foot, and cured him.  
"He's been eating bad mushrooms, I think."

	Karasuma sat up with a flat expression.  His eyes 
looked a little strange.  "Thank you, Priestess," he said.

	Tenma took his hand.  "I'm not a doppleganger."

	"I know," he said.  "We need you to heal my 
bandmates, Priestess Sara."

	Priestess Sara nodded.  "Sara and I will take care of 
them."

	We will?  I can do that? Sara thought.  But I don't 
know how.

	"Thank you," Karasuma said.

	Priestess Sara dragged Sara off.  They walked through 
the palace, until Sara finally said, "I don't know how to heal 
anyone.  I know how to do exorcisms..."

	"Don't forget you get a new miracle at each level.  
Have you leveled yourself?" Priestess Sara said.  

	Sara found this all very surreal.  She cocked her head 
and thought.  "No."

	"Okay, if you want to optimize healing..."  A veritable 
storm of jargon followed; Sara found it hard to come up 
with, and finally just took Priestess Sara's advice on how to 
get some healing.  

	"I've been thinking about taking a level of Girlfriend, 
since I do have a boyfriend," Sara said.  

	"Fortunately, Girlfriend is a favored class for women, 
so you won't take an XP penalty," Priestess Sara said.  
"You really only need a few levels unless you're in a Love 
For the Ages (TM) or you plan to multi-class with Harem 
Ninja or Seducer.  Really, the best low-level thing in it is 
the mental calendar so you never forget anniversaries and 
other events so you can berate your boyfriend when he 
does."

	That could be useful, Sara thought.  "Next time I level 
up, then."

	Priestess Sara nods.  "Which reminds me that I'm 
going to have to yell at Swordsman Asou for missing our 
four month anniversary."

	"Isn't he in detention?"

	"That's no excuse," Priestess Sara said.  "He'll never 
learn if I don't train him."

	"True," Sara thought.  Men often do have a high 
learning threshold.

***************

	Otoko-Eri sat with Witch Yakumo, reading about 
Green Dragons, while Sorceress Eri got a pile of romance 
novels for him.  Quietly, in the background, Asou was 
reading a book titled 'Basic Cosmology'.  Meanwhile, the 
Harimas were piling up a small mountain of martial arts 
stories and manga and boxing stories.  

	This led to acting out scenes, followed by simply 
beating each other up for no reason at all.  Otoko-Eri 
watched them slowly ripping each other's clothing off and 
felt himself get excited.  He tried to not watch, but it drew 
his eyes like magnets.  "Can't you zap my brain and make 
me not...you know..." he asked Witch Yakumo.

	"It's not healthy; when it was all released, you'd 
probably do something hideously stupid," Witch Yakumo 
said.  "Not that I would possibly know from experience or 
anything."

	There was a moment of silence, with only punches and 
Sorceress Eri humming a cheerful tune to break it.

	"It's just...I mean...I shouldn't but I want...no, I don't 
want it," Otoko-Eri said.

	"You crave it," Witch Yakumo said.

	"I just...looking at you doesn't do that for me," Otoko-
Eri said.  Not much.  Witch Yakumo was pretty good 
looking, but her outfit hid her figure too much.  Also, 
Tenma's extra-dimensional sister, so NOT GOING 
THERE.

	Much.

	Witch Yakumo frowned.  "You don't think I'm cute?"

	A tiny voice spoke in Otoko-Eri's head, telling him to 
flee and NEVER COME BACK.  But he never listened.  
"You're okay looking, but that outfit isn't very flattering."

	"It precisely focuses my power," Witch Yakumo said, 
sounding displeased.  She glanced over at Sorceress Eri.  
"Do you think she's attractive?"
	
	"She's ME," Otoko-Eri said.  "She doesn't turn me on."  
Much, he thought.  No, not attractive at all.  

	"Good point," Witch Yakumo said, then her eyes 
flickered slightly as Lady Harima's blouse tore open.  "Oh 
dear, sewing that will be annoying."

	"Can't you fix it with magic?" Otoko-Eri asked, 
feeling jealous.

	"My powers incline more to the mind and nature," 
Witch Yakumo said.

	Then she looked around.  "Shouldn't Yakumo be here 
by now?"

	"She's probably off seeing to her sister," Otoko-Eri 
said.  "She'll be fine."

**************

	There really was no other choice, Yakumo thought.  
Even though the idea kind of scared her, she was going to 
have to try and...with Harima.  The problem was that she 
only had a vague idea how it worked with a man-woman 
combination.  How did two women do it?  

	Fortunately, she could at least ask Itoko-sensei.  It 
took a little effort to pull her and Sasakura-sensei aside.  
"Sensei, I..." she began, but her brain melted as she tried to 
speak and only incoherent noises came out.

	"Are you out of tampons?" Sasakura-sensei asked.

	"I use pads," Yakumo managed to blurt out.  "Tenma 
managed to clog the toilet with too many tampons at once 
one time and our parents won't let us buy them any more."

	"Are you sick?" Itoko-sensei asked.

	"No, I...we talked to...I mean..."  Yakumo shifted back 
and forth.  "Maybe I should bother you another time."

	"Looking for advice on having a girlfriend now?" 
Sasakura-sensei asked.

	"I...yeah," Yakumo mumbled.

	"Just think about how you'd like to be treated," 
Sasakura-sensei said.

	"But I don't know how I want to be treated," Yakumo 
mumbled.  "I haven't done this before."

	"You are a woman," Sasakura-sensei said.  "Just think 
about what you like and do that for her.  Or ask her what 
she expects of you."

	I'm not sure if Kenji-kun EVER knows what he wants, 
Yakumo thought.  "I...okay."

	"Given Kenji has NO COMMON SENSE, you should 
probably stock up some feminine products for him," Itoko-
sensei said.  "Just to be safe."

	"I...okay.  Thank you for the advice," Yakumo said, 
then ran off before she could faint from embarrassment.  

***************

	Fuyuki looked at himself in his cabana boy outfit.  "Is 
this really necessary?" he asked, feeling ridiculous.

	Sagano ran her hands up and down him in a way that 
made his body very excited.  He wished he knew if she was 
serious or just being overly friendly, as was her wont.  She 
looked quite hot in her harem ninja outfit, and...and it was 
best not to think about it too much.  "Flaunting your body 
makes you stronger," she said, striking a pose that made his 
eyes widen.  He trembled, having to hold himself back 
from just jumping at her.

	"You're supposed to lose control when I do that," she 
said.  "I've been waiting for you to show up for forever, 
having to hold myself back from jumping on the other-
dimensional you and now you're supposed to reward me for 
being good," she said.

	That was one advantage with dealing with Sagano; she 
was always pretty clear on what she wanted.  It just often 
was something foolish.

	"You want me to..." he began, just to be sure.

	"Yes.  Don't make me get desperate and seduce Nara, 
who is now looking strangely hot, but who I am avoiding 
due to him having a girlfriend who would probably leave 
my remains in three different universes," Sagano said 
without stopping.  

	"Well, in that case..."

	He overshot the initial jump, landing in a bush.  But 
that tore off some of his clothing, so in the end, it really did 
advance matters, anyway...

**************

	They would leave the next morning; this wasn't soon 
enough for Karen, who was worried about Imadori.  Also, 
watching Lala and Martial Artist Hanai snuggle was 
making her jumpy.  

	Wait for me, Imadori, she thought.  Though she feared 
this wasn't too likely.

***************

	Imadori studied the application.  Moroboshi 
Ataru...the name did have a nice ring to it.  But some of the 
things on his resume looked rather bogus.  'Oniboshi 
Academy'?  Buddha couldn't find it anywhere.  'Minor in 
Surviving Electrocution'.  A useful skill if you're an 
electrician...but for a sex ed instructor?  Even Imadori felt 
worried about the possibilities. 

	On the other hand, his references had been strangely 
enthusiastic, urging them to hire him, even if it would take 
him hundreds of miles from his hometown.  They really 
were looking out for the man's real interests, Imadori 
thought.  That had to be a good omen.

	He'd have to see how the interview went.  But for 
now, it was time to play with Mai.

	Yeah.  It was good to be the president.

***************

	"So when we pose..." Nara said to Lord Fuyuki.

	"It's a charm effect," Lord Fuyuki said.  "Not much 
good with monsters, but women go crazy for it," Lord 
Fuyuki said.  "Amped by the charisma bonus from wearing 
our class uniform.  Makes it easy to pick up women."  He 
grinned.

	Nara's eyes crossed as he imagined himself posing for, 
say, Mikoto or Tenma or Lala or Eri...no, not Eri right now.  
It was rather tempting, but he told himself not to do it.  He 
had a girlfriend and should be satisfied with one, even if his 
parents made it work just fine with multiple girlfriends.

	He thought about Akira instead to escape the 
temptation and was soon having very happy thoughts.  
Until he walked into a wall due to thinking a little TOO 
MUCH about Akira, anyway.
  
***************

	Nurse Witch Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama finished 
bandaging Lady Harima's forehead.  "They should be fine 
in the morning once they get some rest."  She sighed.  "Try 
not to let them attempt to do Roshambo with their 
foreheads in the future, though."

	"I'll try," Yakumo said.

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  "Not a lick of sense between 
them."

	"This isn't going to lead to whacky amnesia, is it?"  
Witch Yakumo asked.

	"I believe their skulls are too thick," Nurse Witch 
Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama said.  "But you'd best test 
their memories in the morning."

	We're doomed, Otoko-Eri thought.  Doomed. 

*****************
	
	Otoko-Eri was very nervous.  Was sleeping with the 
guys such a good idea?  I am a guy right now, but still...it 
felt weird.  However, his friends had kicked their men out 
and were having a girls only party, which meant the various 
boyfriends were having their own party.  Unfortunately, his 
girlfriend was unconscious from headbutting.  Stupid 
Kenji.  Not that she would have been here, but...

	"Of course, the worst part is that she won't even tell 
me what it is that I forgot," Hanai said, sighing as he sipped 
his sake.

	"Of course not.  You're supposed to remember the 
time she gave you a lunch when you were eight," Asou 
said, shaking his head.  

	We're not THAT bad, Otoko-Eri thought, sipping his 
own sake.  Are we?

	"There's always that feeling of things going on that 
they won't tell you about, but which they expect you to 
intuitively know," Nara said, shaking his head.  "I think 
Akira has secrets enough for 20 girlfriends."

	"I wish she was less fickle," Otoko-Eri said, sipping 
his sake again and surprising himself.  "I mean, I told her I 
love her.  And she can't even decide what's in her head."  
He was starting to feel a little bitter, possibly the sake 
talking.

	"Yeah, that was a pretty bold thing to do," Nara said.  
"I could never be that brave."

	"I should have known better.  I know how much of a 
flake she is," Otoko-Eri said, grumblingly.  "And the whole 
Tenma obsession.  EVEN THOUGH ANY FOOL COULD 
SEE TENMA WANTS KARASUMA."  He tried to turn 
his voice down.  

	"Wait...he dated Yakumo while being obsessed with 
Tenma?" Hanai asked.

	"Yeah," Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	"THAT CAD!" Hanai rose to his feet.  "I must punish 
him!"

	Otoko-Eri grabbed his shoulder.  "No one punishes her 
but me!  That's over now."

	"I cannot tolerate..." Hanai began.

	"Let's not fight, okay?" Asou said.  Not until I gain a 
few levels, anyway.

	"Try thinking about your own girlfriend instead of 
Yakumo," Otoko-Eri hissed, getting angry.

	"You sound like Takano," he snapped back.

	Nara vibrated helplessly in the background, not 
knowing what to do.

	Asou stepped forward.  "Come on," he said. "Let's not 
fight.  We want to relax before we go belt-questing, right?  
You don't think the women are fighting, do you?"

	"True," Hanai said, stepping back.

	"Yeah," Otoko-Eri grumbled, staring at the floor.

	Even if they did start fighting, Asou was sure Sara 
would do something to stop it.  She was just a very 
peaceful, gentle person.

****************

	Sara was breathing hard by the time she healed the last 
bruise.  It was so incredibly wonderful, being able to heal 
people.  But it was also exhausting to do so many.

	Next time, no sake at the party, she thought.  And no 
discussion of Harima.  Or Hanai.  OR ANYONE MALE.

	At least the guys probably aren't beating each other 
up, she thought.  Asou will keep the peace.  She smiled a 
little.  I'm so lucky, she thought.  And she just needed a 
little more XP to get the level in Girlfriend.  

	Maybe I should go see if the castle needs any rats 
taken care of, she thought.  She studied the numbers 
floating over the brawlers enviously.  Being a peacemaker 
was not so well rewarded.  But she would be virtuous.  I 
serve God, not XP, she thought.  

	Maybe someone was possessed...that would get her 
some XP if she exorcised them.  There had to be 
something...

*************

	"You're too high level for the rat quest," the royal 
ratcatcher told her. 

	"I just need 300 XP to level," Sara said.  "Do you have 
any quests I can do?"

	The man cocked his head.  "Get me a ham sandwich."

	"What?  That'll get me 300 XP?"  SUSPICIOUSLY 
EASY.  Maybe it's because I don't have the rest of the party 
with me, she thought.

	"I dunno.  It's the only other quest I have," he said.  
"I'm really not all that important."

	"A ham sandwich it is," Sara said.  She paused.  "Just 
from the kitchens, right?"

	"Just from the kitchens," the royal ratcatcher said.

	"Okay, I'm off," Sara said.

	Twenty minutes later, she had to admit she was 
completely lost.  She wasn't high enough level for a finding 
miracle, either.  In fact, she was now lost in a maze of 
twisty, bendy passages all alike. And if her cross hadn't 
started glowing after the last time she levelled, she'd be in 
the dark, too.

	She could hear something...moving...lurking just out 
of sight.

	So she tried an old trick, covering her cross with her 
hands and letting all grow dark.  The footsteps drew closer, 
closer...closer...

	As they were ALMOST right behind her, she let the 
cross light shine again and spun, drawing her pistols.

	The unfortunate grue screamed.  "AAAAAAA!!!!"  It 
disintegrated to dust, caught in the light.  BING, 290 XP.  
She just needed ten now.  Ten lousy XP.

	She finally reached the kitchens, made a sandwich (+5 
XP), then began heading back towards the ratcatcher's 
room.

	And then there was a blur and a flash of dark hair and 
the sandwich was blurring off down the hallway in the 
hands of someone who looked suspiciously like Satsuki.  "I 
win again!" she shouted.

	Sara ran after Satsuki.  "I need that sandwich to level 
up!"

	"Oooh, the sandwich quest!  It refreshed!  Gonna 
score me some easy XP, then!"  Satsuki, if that's who it 
was, kept running.

	Sara ran through her miracles in her head.  None of 
them were very good for a non-lethal take down.  Satsuki 
was a bit of a brat, but she really couldn't justify frying 
Satsuki with holy fire.  Not over a sandwich.

	Then it hit her.  Somewhat of a waste of holy water, 
but...

	She hurled the bottle at Satsuki's feet, and the holy 
water formed a puddle, on which Satsuki slipped and fell.  
Sara ran up and grabbed the sandwich.  "Satsuki, you 
really.."  Something wasn't quite right.  "Satsuki, is that 
you?"

	"I am Thief Satsuki," Satsuki said ruefully as she sat 
up.  "You must be Priestess Sara of the Other World."

	"Yes," Sara said, helping her up.  "Not a random 
intruder you can rob."

	"Sorry, but I was just trying to get even for Priestess 
Sara's last gag," Thief Satsuki said.  She sighed.  "Well, 
enjoy your sandwich."

	As Thief Satsuki headed out, Sara waved and headed 
off to find the ratcatcher.  He was busy pouring potions of 
polymorphing into cheesesteak down a rat hole when she 
arrived.  "Here's your sandwich," she said, presenting it.

	"This is a stuffed toy sandwich," he said, pointing to 
it.  It was indeed a stuffed toy that resembled a ham 
sandwich.  

	"..."  But..how...THIEF SATSUKI, Sara thought.  
Now it was time for Holy Fire.

*************
		
	Asou was in the process of changing into pajamas for 
bed, along with Suga, when Sara threw the door open.  
"Asou-kun, I need you NOW."

	Suga's eyes widened.  "Well, damn, I wish my 
girlfriend would rush in like that."

	Asou paused, currently shirtless.  "We...uh...now?" he 
asked nervously.

	"I cannot wait a single second more!  Grab your sword 
and come!"  Sara said, coming over to take one of his 
hands.

	Suga's brain began constructing scenarios, then 
overloading.  

	"But...sword...wait..."

	He managed to grab his sword as he was dragged off.

	So jealous, Suga thought.  SO JEALOUS.

*****************

	Swordsman Suga was almost done with his half of the 
ham sandwich when the door cracked open and Sara, 
wreathed in holy fire, crashed through it, with a confused 
looking Asou in tow.  He turned to Thief Satsuki, asking, 
"Is she here to seduce us or to kill us?"

	"Uh oh," Thief Satsuki mumbled.

	"Uh oh?"

	"I...borrowed the sandwich you're eating from her," 
Thief Satsuki mumbled.

	"Dammit, you are buying off the kleptomania flaw 
next time you level!" Swordsman Suga said.

	"You...ate...the sandwich," Sara said, her eyes glowing 
with flame.

	Swordsman Suga laughed nervously.  "Yeah."

	"Just now?"

	He nodded.

	"Maybe I can extract its remains from your stomach 
and heal it back to life," Sara said, her voice slightly 
crazed.  "Asou-kun, give me your sword, I need to perform 
a Ceasarian."

	"Can't we just go to the kitchen and get another 
sandwich?" Asou asked again, keeping his sword out of her 
reach.

	"I poured all my heart and soul into that sandwich!" 
Sara said.  "So I get the XP to level up in Girlfriend for you 
so I could be a better girlfriend!  Now give me your sword 
so I can get the sandwich back!!!!"

	Asou knew enough of the laws of woman to 
understand that he could never possibly argue with 'I was 
trying to help our relationship.'  Couldn't be done.  "Can't 
you just kill a rat?"

	"THERE ARE NO RATS.  GIVE ME YOUR 
SWORD," Sara said.  She appeared to have grown to 20 
feet tall and loomed over Asou, glowing with holy fire.

	"Look, I don't want to see an extradimensional Suga 
die over a sandwich," Asou began.

	"Listen to him!  He's wise!" Swordsman Suga said.

	"Also, since you're a priestess, you can get five times 
your level in XP by praying in the chapel each night," Asou 
said.

	Sara paused.  "I can?"

	"I decided to spend some time studying cosmology, so 
I would know what is going on better," Asou said.  "Each 
class has a 'practice' function.  It's only really useful at low 
levels, but..."

	"LET US PRAY!"  She dragged Asou off, still shining 
with holy fire.

	"Shouldn't she burn his hand?" Thief Satsuki asked as 
she came out of hiding.

	"It only hurts those you're angry at," Swordsman Suga 
said.  "Anyway, no more sandwich theft."

	"I swear I won't steal any more sandwiches tonight," 
Thief Satsuki said.  While I'm in this room, anyway.

*****************

	Otoko-Eri tried to sleep, but he couldn't.  He kept 
thinking about what the Archmagus had said.  But if they 
did that, he'd have to...as a...his eyes crossed.

	He wasn't even sure how to do it.  Part of him wanted 
to try anyway, part was confused, and part was extremely 
nervous and not sure it was a good idea.  Surely it would 
make him feel more like a boy, right?  

	Also, doing it when Kenji might be suffering whacky 
amnesia could get messy.  Plus, she was supposed to be 
resting.  

	Really, it was best to stay in bed, get a good night's 
rest and be ready to leave on a quest tomorrow.

	He heard footsteps in the hall.  It wasn't Kenji, was it?  
Probably roaming around looking for someone to punch.  
He went to the door and peeked and saw Yakumo go by.

	She was going to steal a march on him!  He couldn't 
allow that.  Given her sister was doing it with Karasuma, 
she'd probably gotten her sister's secrets and was going to 
use them...

	He couldn't allow that.  NO WAY.

	He snuck out and followed her; she went right to 
Kenji's door and knocked, then went in.

	So he walked up to the door and knocked.  Onna-
Harima answered.  "Shouldn't you be in bed?" she asked.

	"What, Yakumo can come in and I can't?" he asked.

	"You're trying to sneak into a girl's room at night!  
That's just wrong," Onna-Harima said, waggling a finger.

	"But the Archimagus did say we ought to...umm...you 
know..."  Otoko-Eri felt himself getting very nervous.

	"Read those books, yeah," Onna-Harima said.

	"No...I mean..."  Maybe this was a bad idea, he 
thought.

	"You...oh."  She blushed.  "Ecchi."

	"Ecchi?  It's doctor's orders!  And...I didn't even 
manage to SAY it," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Go to bed, pervert," Onna-Harima said.

	"Pervert?  You've got a girl in your room!" Otoko-Eri 
said.

	"And I'm a girl too.  So no problem."  Onna-Harima 
stuck her tongue out.

	Yakumo smiled benevolently at Otoko-Eri from 
behind Onna-Harima.  No, really.

	"It isn't fair to let her come in and keep me out," 
Otoko-Eri said, trying to step forward.  "You should..."

	Strong hands grabbed him.  The Castellan said, 
"Trying to force your way into a girl's room?  How 
horrible."

	"No...I wasn't..."

	The Castellan threw him over one shoulder and began 
to haul him off.  "No means no, you know."

	"Goodnight, Eri-san," Onna-Harima said, waving as 
the Castellan dragged him away.

	"I wasn't trying to do anything wrong!" Otoko-Eri 
wailed as he was hauled away.

	"You're just young and horny.  I'll just have to lock 
you in for your own good."

	"DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMITTTTT!!!!"

************

	Normally, Yakumo would have intervened; Otoko-Eri 
meant well.  But not with her boyfriend.  He was hers, and 
that was it.  Right?

	She'd come, meaning to talk about...sex and whether it 
might really help, but now she was way too embarrassed by 
the idea of it.  Also, she didn't know how...with another 
girl.  And would it help?

	So she decided to just stay with her that night and 
further stake her claim, until she figured out what to do.  
That had to be best.

	Then a thought struck her.  She could take a level of 
girlfriend; she hadn't levelled yet.  Maybe that would guide 
her.

	She went through with it, only to find that while she 
could now remember the day she first met Kenji-kun, and 
that their six month anniversary of knowing each other was 
coming up, it didn't offer any advice on sex, though she did 
have some new ideas on kissing...

	Well, that was a start.

************

	Onna-Harima laid in bed with Yakumo by her and 
tried to figure out what was in her head.  The thought 
of...sex...with Otoko-Eri kind of excited her, scared her, 
and nauseated her at once.  So long as she could hold onto 
the idea of being a boy, she didn't want to do it.  But it was 
getting harder to hold onto that.

	And the girl side of her seemed to increasingly have 
an interest in Eri the boy.  Which made it hard to think as 
her personality aspects had very differing views on the 
situation.

	I need a cure and quick, she thought.  But they had to 
fight the stupid Green Dragons.  I hope we kick their ass 
FAST, she thought.  

	As sex was out.  Right?  

*****************

	Tani-sensei, Yuri, Tae-sensei, Itoko-sensei, and 
Sasakura-sensei held a council of war with the wiser of the 
Defenders and laid down plans to go recover the belt.  They 
had enough people to handle the Quest without needing 
most of the Defenders, although Martial Artist Hanai would 
come with his crew on Lala's insistence and to act as a 
native guide.  Lady Harima also had to come, which meant 
Witch Yakumo and Sorcress Eri would be in tow.

	They assembled their crew and moved out.

************

	It was a bug hunt, Onna-Harima concluded after 
fighting off hordes of giant scorpions, spiders, centipedes, 
lady-bugs, hornets, wasps, silverfish, and cockroaches.  It 
seemed as if the deep forest was overrun with giant insects 
to her.

	Tenma shot another bug out of the air, wishing she'd 
brought some insect spray.  She was back to back with 
Otoko-Eri, blowing bugs out of the sky.  It was pretty 
exciting, really.  She could see Karasuma running up a tree 
and leaping onto the back of a giant hornet, so she waved. 

	He waved back as he controlled it with his knees, 
though this caused him to crash into a tree.

	"Karasuma-kun!"  She sprinted across the field 
towards him as insects buzzed and scurried everywhere.

	"Tenma-chan!" Otoko-Eri shouted, running after her.

	"Tsukamoto-san!" Karasuma said.  "Watch out for..."

	Then the spider pounced on Tenma.  She was knocked 
to the ground, but managed to hold onto her bow.  As they 
both ran towards her, she took an arrow and stabbed it in 
the eye.  "YOU ARE STOPPING ME FROM REACHING 
KARASUMA-KUN!!!!"

	Otoko-Eri stopped and laughed, while Karasuma 
kicked it off her and helped her up.  Never get in that girl's 
way, Otoko-Eri thought.

*************
	
	Yakumo tried to think of some way to arrange 
sleeping so that no one would wake up screaming in the 
morning and knock the tent down.  

	Maybe if I sleep between Kenji-kun and my sister, and 
then Sawachika-sempai sleeps on the other side of my 
sister...  But she'll want to be closer to Kenji-kun.  

	Yakumo frowned at that.  He acted all weird about 
Sawachika-sempai, and she couldn't tell if it was the magic 
or if maybe he did like her or...or what.  

	She started when Onna-Harima hugged her from 
behind.  "Kenji-kun?" she asked weakly.

	"Hey, what are you thinking about?" she asked 
Yakumo softly.  

	Yakumo felt nervous.  "Nothing," she said, unable to 
admit and glad he couldn't read her thoughts.  She could 
see his thoughts; he was worried about her, which made her 
feel better.  "Just thinking about the future."

	"We'll be fine."

	"Unless we miss the manga deadline," Yakumo said.  
Her level of girlfriend had reminded her of that.  

 	Onna-Harima's eyes bulged.  "DAMMIT!  How can 
you remember that in a situation like this, anyway?"

 	Yakumo explained, "I leveled up in girlfriend and it 
reminded me of a lot of anniversaries and deadlines."  She 
thought for a minute.  "Well, if we get some paper, we can 
work on it," Yakumo said.

	They had gotten about three pages in when Onna-
Harima said, "You know...this kind of reminds me of this 
place.  Our manga, I mean."

	Yakumo blinked and studied it.  "There are 
similarities, but it's a coincidence, right?"

	Onna-Harima wrinkled her nose.  "You're right, it 
must be a coincidence.  Okay, let's work."

	Yakumo nodded and they got down to it.

**************
	
	Otoko-Eri returned from hanging out with his friends 
after dinner and found Onna-Harima and Yakumo slumped 
over, asleep on top of pages of drawings.  He studied the 
pictures briefly.  Of all the times to draw a manga, he 
thought.  

	Carefully, he picked them both up and dragged them 
to the tent, then carefully stacked the sheets and put them 
with Yakumo's backpack.  Where did they find paper out 
here, anyway, he wondered.

	He sat down on a rock and stared up at the stars, 
wondering what to do about the whole mess.  His thoughts 
were interrupted by Sagano draping herself over him from 
behind.  "Hey, handsome."

	"Still not a boy," Otoko-Eri said instinctively.  "Also, 
your new boyfriend wouldn't like this."  And he was 
enjoying it too much for his own good, he was sure.  
Feeling her body pressed to him made him wish Onna-
Harima would do that.  Or maybe Tenma or...no, no, kill 
this line of thought.

	"We're not...I mean..."  Sagano let go, looking 
embarrassed.  "Well, I guess we are.  I just...nevermind."  
she ran off, looking flushed and leaving Otoko-Eri 
confused.

	He tried to relax, but now he could hear soft moaning 
from Akira's tent.  Slowly getting louder.  It seemed like 
Akira just couldn't get enough of the boy; Otoko-Eri didn't 
get it.  Nara was a nice guy, but inspiring that kind of 
passion?  He was like Tenma, kind of childish looking for 
his age.

	Tenma at least had...

	Not going there.

	It seemed like everyone was hooking up. Although 
Yuuki was available.  And kind of cute.  

	NOT GOING THERE.

	Mikoto really had...

	He shook his head, but his body felt all jumpy and 
excited.  He liked it and feared it at once.  He also wasn't 
sure what to do about it.  He knew how...but how did guys?  
Though it probably involved...

	Not going there.  If he did...that, it would be a clear 
sign he really was a guy now.  And he wasn't going to go 
all guy.  Not unless Onna-Harima wanted to...

	Would he, if she asked, though she'd never ever ask.  
He had a feeling the answer was yes, and he was very 
curious and...

	He had to get up and walk around, feeling more 
restless.  He had that deep down in the bones feeling he 
knew meant he was likely about to do something stupid, 
and he had to at least try to delay it until some disaster took 
away the trouble.

	He wandered for a bit, until he got far enough away 
from the camp that he couldn't hear anyone having sex.  He 
sat down under a tree to fight his instincts again.

	To his surprise, he heard footsteps.  "Ken..." he began, 
then realized it was Sara.  "Sara-san?"

	"Are you alright?" Sara asked in English, her hair 
shining softly in the moonlight.  She was very cute, Otoko-
Eri thought.

	"Yes," he replied in English.  "Just thinking."

	"You look troubled," Sara said, kneeling down by 
him.  "Worried about your love future?"

	"No, of course not," Otoko-Harima said instinctively.  
"Love is stupid."  He had to try to not look at her directly, 
not in his nervously excited state.

	"I admire your usual bravery in love," Sara said.  "I'm 
not good at that.  Harima-kun's lucky to have two women 
devoted to him.  Though he really shouldn't lead you both 
on."  She frowned.

	"I can't figure him out," Otoko-Eri said.  "He comes 
onto me, then pulls away and then she gets all jealous when 
I accidentally kiss Yakumo, and..."

	"You sure it was an accident?" Sara asked softly.

	"Of course!  I don't kiss girls even if they're cute like 
you or Yakumo!" Otoko-Eri protested.  "Or think about 
them in scanty clothing or..."

	Sara blushed.  "You think of me in scanty clothing?"

	"No!" Otoko-Eri said, thinking of her in a bikini.  He 
liked it, though he liked Onna-Harima more in a bikini or 
maybe topless or...

	"You are very handsome and would probably kiss 
well, but I have a boyfriend and I just took a level in 
girlfriend for his sake and..." Sara began to babble.

	"Am I really that good looking to women now?" 
Otoko-Eri asked.

	"Yes," she said.  "So slender and blonde and kind 
of...of...I wonder if the first level of boyfriend gives men 
kissing techniques like I got from...oh dear, I'm having 
naughty thoughts, and I'm narrarrating myself and I have to 
go now..."

	Sara rose and sprinted off.  

	He laughed softly.  It helped a little to know that 
others could have the same problem as him.  Kissing 
techniques?  From a level in boyfriend...he did have 
unspent XP and they might be useful if he did 
try...that...with Onna-Harima.  

	After a little bit, Asou showed up.  "Did something 
happen?" he asked, frowning.

	"We just talked," Otoko-Eri said.  

	"What is she atoning for, then?" he asked, frowning 
more.

	"Impure thoughts," Otoko-Eri said.  "I think."

	"You flirting with her?" Asou said, darkening further.

	He's jealous, Otoko-Eri thought.  "She was flirting 
with me, really," he said.  Okay, not wisest thing to say, he 
realized.

	"You've been going around, kissing all these women 
and..." Asou began.

	"Accidents," Otoko-Eri said, now feeling worried; 
Asou sounded pretty cross.  "We haven't done anything 
even though she finds me attractive."  Dammit, stop 
bragging.  What is wrong with me, he asked himself.  The 
answer was that he wanted a fight as a distraction from his 
body going crazy.

	"Don't even THINK of trying anything with her," 
Asou said, folding his arms across his chest.

	"Or what?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "And I'm still a woman 
on the inside, so I'd rather have my way with you."   But he 
wasn't feeling so sure of that; there felt like more women in 
his head than men at the moment.

	Asou's eyes crossed a moment.  "Just don't try 
anything," he said, a little more weakly.

	"Fine.  My eyes are elsewhere," Otoko-Eri said 
crankily.

	"Good," Asou said, leaving quickly.
	
	Otoko-Eri had half convinced himself to go jump in 
the nearby stream, having the vague idea that cold water 
could snap you out of this, when Suga came up to him.  
"Hey, you okay, out here?"

	"Fine," Otoko-Eri said curtly, though he relaxed a 
little.  Suga had never been his type; indeed, it was hard for 
him to imagine Suga even finding a girlfriend.  

	"Kinda hard dealing with all the hormones, eh?" Suga 
asked.

	Otoko-Eri started.  "Is it that obvious?"

	"Yeah, if you know what to look for.  Asou would go 
off and get all broody whenever he started having attacks," 
Suga said.  "Anyway, sitting here and brooding usually 
won't help much; you either need to get some privacy and 
relieve yourself, or else come back, be social, and 
eventually exhaustion will kill it, though you may end 
up...well, needing fresh underwear in the morning," he said.

	Otoko-Eri's eyes crossed.  "What, you mean..."

	"Either you do it or your body does it for you at the 
worst time," Suga said.

	"Being a guy SUCKS," Otoko-Eri said.  "How do you 
all stand it?"

	"It has its benefits," he said.  "Like my cute 
girlfriend."

	"I don't want a woman," Otoko-Eri said.  Though 
Kenji did make a cute woman and Yakumo and Mikoto 
and...no, no such thoughts.  Couldn't be tolerated.  

	"Well, you do make a good looking guy," Suga said.

	Otoko-Eri turned and studied him carefully.

	"Just speaking in the abstract," he said hastily.  "Even 
Satsuki thinks you're cute.  She likes broody bishonens, 
though."  Suga leaned against a tree.  "Anyway, it may just 
go away after a while, but probably, I expect, either you'll 
need real relief or faked relief or your body will 
just...relieve."

	"It seems so inefficient," Otoko-Eri mumbled.

	"So is menustration, but for some reason, the body 
thinks it's easier to redo the lining from scratch every 
month.  No wonder women like to redecorate all the time," 
Suga said.

	Otoko-Eri threw a pinecone at his head for that.  "Not 
all of us."

	Suga got hit, but he just rubbed his forehead.  "So still 
thinking in woman mode?" Suga asked.  "I have to admit, 
I'm kind of curious what it feels like."  He sat down by 
Otoko-Eri.  

	"Trying.  But these urges...and thoughts...and the 
niceness of breasts and...it's a fight," Otoko-Eri said, 
turning to Suga.  

	"Well, it says something for Harima that he doesn't 
spend all his time touching his own breasts," Suga said.  
"Some guys would."

	Otoko-Eri thought about touching Onna-Harima's 
breasts and felt his body speed up its nervousness.  So he 
forced himself to think of unsexy Suga.  

	"Then again, who knows what he's doing in the 
dark..." Suga said.  "Possibly fantasizing about you and 
your..."

	"Enough," Otoko-Eri said.  

	"Have you..."

	"No!" he said sharply to Suga, then softened.  
"I...may..."  He made himself stop and grimaced.  "I am 
such a freak right now."

	"You are not a freak," Akira said.  "Suga, you'd 
better..."  Everyone started, not having noticed her 
approach.  

	"He's just trying to help me cope with the demands of 
man-ness," Otoko-Eri said.  "Much more help than Asou, 
who thinks I'd chase his kiddy-looking girlfriend when I 
could have a sexy woman like Kenji."  Really, Sara was 
kind of cute, but Kenji was better looking and more mature 
in appearance.

	There was a silence.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Otoko-Eri said, then 
began punching a nearby tree until Akira pulled him back.  
This made him just more aware of Akira's closeness, her 
strength, and the litheness of her body.  Which made things 
worse.

	"Look, it's perfectly natural for a guy to want a sexy 
woman," Suga said.  "I'd think she was hot if my brain 
didn't remember Harima with that terrible beard."

	"I kind of liked it, when he kept it short," Otoko-Eri 
mumbled.

	"Would you like to get away from Kenji for a night 
and sleep with Nara and I, Eri-chan?" Akira asked.

	"Dang, that's bold," Suga said.

	"I...you want...both of you?" Otoko-Eri squealed.

	For a moment, Akira was very quiet.  Then her eyes 
flickered a little wider, then returned to normal.  "I meant 
that in the literal sense, not the figurative."

	"I have to stay with Kenji to avoid anything crazy 
happening with him and Tenma's sister," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Crazy like the tent being knocked down when you 
'accidentally' kiss Yakumo-san in the morning?" Akira 
asked.

	"It was an accident!"

	"Several times?" Akira asked.  

	"She might 'accidentally' kiss you, Takano-san," Suga 
said.  

	Akira paused, then said, "Not much danger of that.  
Right, Eri-chan?"

	"Well, you are reasonably kissable," Otoko-Eri said.  
"If I was going to start kissing everyone, WHICH I AM 
NOT, you'd get ahead of a lot of people.  But I won't be 
kissing you by accident or otherwise."  And there were 
kissing techniques to be learned...very tempting.

	"So, would you like to join us?" Akira asked.

	"I really need to make sure nothing..." Otoko-Eri 
began.  

	"You know Kenji-san.  You really think he'll do 
anything crazy with Yakumo-san?" Akira asked.

	"I..."  His gut said yes, but really, Yakumo wouldn't 
start anything and Kenji was too confused about his 
identity.  "Okay, sure," he said.  "If it won't bother you."

	"It will be fine," Akira said.  

	"Let's go, then."

***************
	
	Yakumo was surprised to find herself alone with 
Onna-Harima in the tent.  Tenma had been dragged off by 
Karen to keep her company for the night and Sawachika 
was with Akira.  Which made Onna-Harima jumpy.

	She thought about what the Archmagus had told them 
and tried to decide if she was bold enough to even...to even 
ask Kenji about it.  But he seemed to really need some 
help; she could see he was slowly losing the war of his 
identity.  She didn't normally...well, really, part of the 
problem was that she didn't know what to do.  She had the 
vaguest ideas how with a man, but with a woman...But she 
couldn't let Otoko-Eri do it.  No way.

	"Hey, you okay?" Onna-Harima asked as she 
stretched, getting ready to lie down.

	Yakumo nervously cuddled up to her as they got into 
the sheets.  She didn't know what to do, what to say.  "Do 
you want...to...umm...want..."  The perfect chance and she 
couldn't seize it.  As she tried to speak, her voice grew 
more tangled.

	"Ice cream," Onna-Harima said.  "I could go for that.  
In fact, I think I'll go see if our idiot sorceress can bamf us 
up some.  Be right back."

	Yakumo squirreled up her hands in frustration.  Why 
can't I be more bold like my sister?  

	But the world gave no answer.

*************

	Nara laid behind Akira, who was on her side with his 
arms around her, holding her just a bit possessively.  
Having a good looking guy like Otoko-Eri in the tent with 
him made him too aware of his own blandness.  They were 
such old friends, so comfortable together, and it made him 
too nervous to speak, to do anything but hold her, 
desperately.

	Otoko-Eri felt himself growing more nervous as his 
brain decided NOW to start seeing Akira's attractiveness as 
a woman.  Not his normal taste in women...not that he had 
one, of course...but something about her...that hint of 
concealed power, the way Nara grappling her pulled her 
clothing tight against her body...  I am going to wake up 
embarrassed, he thought.  But what could he do?

	Besides leveling a level of boyfriend, just in case he 
needed the kissing techniques, anyway.

	Akira relaxed as the evening went on; it was nice to 
have a good friend and her lover with her.  She brightened 
up as much as anyone normally ever got to see her 
brighten, and she finally fell asleep to sleep a deep and 
relaxing sleep.  

	Otoko-Eri eventually fell asleep, when exhaustion 
overwhelmed him.  He hoped he'd get to use the kissing 
techniques later.  But not on Akira.  Much.

***************
	The ice cream was, despite Yakumo's worries, 
delicious.  It did not, however, reveal to her the secrets of 
how to get into bed with Kenji.  

	Onna-Harima laid down to sleep and Yakumo cuddled 
up to her; she knew how to do that, at least.  She studied 
Onna-Harima's thoughts, looking for some sort of clue he 
was thinking anything sexy, but he was thinking about ice 
cream and...Streetfighter?  She hoped idly to see herself in 
his thoughts in one of Chun Li's outfits.

	But he was just trying to figure out a combo.  

	Yakumo sighed.  "Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked 
nervously.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said, head full of button pushing 
and joystick moving.  

	That was a good start.  "Prettier than Sawachika?" she 
asked very nervously.

	"You can't really call a guy pretty," Onna-Harima said.  
Super-deformed Streetfighters were punching out falling 
blocks in his mind now.  

	"When he was a girl."

	"You're each pretty in your own way," Onna-Harima 
said.  It was rather frustrating to Yakumo, as nothing he 
said echoed in his thoughts...which were full of Street 
Fighter.  

	"Want..."  She licked her lips nervously.

	"Fried chicken?  Yeah, me too," Onna-Harima said.  
"Lemme go see if we can get some..."  She took off.

	Yakumo just sighed softly where most would have 
screamed in frustration.

**************

	Finally, the fried chicken was done with, and Yakumo 
tried another ploy.  "Kenji, you still...I mean, I'm still your 
girlfriend, right?"

	A snore replied.  She looked up and saw Onna-Harima 
had fallen asleep and was now dreaming about 
Streetfighters eating fried chicken.

	At least it's a manly dream, Yakumo thought.  I just 
have to do something.  While there's still time.  Tomorrow.

***************

	Otoko-Eri woke from a very pleasant dream to find 
he'd fired off in the night.  So he snuck out of the tent and 
went to go take a bath in the river and change clothing.  
The sense of relief at the dispelling of his excitement was 
palpable, as well as a feeling of disappointment that his 
dream of making out with Onna-Harima had only been a 
dream.

	He was pretty much naked and scrubbing when he 
heard noise upstream slightly, right around a bend, and 
heard Onna-Harima mumbling to herself.  

	"Don't come downstream, I'm naked," Otoko-Eri said.

	Onna-Harima peeked around a tree.  "I can't see 
anything," she announced.

	He tried to resist the urge to look, fearing to get 
clobbered if he saw anything but wanting to see.  "That's 
easier if you don't look."

	He heard her settle back into the water.  "Why are you 
up?" she asked.

	"Bad dream," he lied.  "I thought I'd go ahead and get 
clean before the rush."  They had to carefully divide up into 
groups and split up bathing areas, each morning, one for 
guys, one for gals.

	"Yeah, I had a hideous nightmare," Onna-Harima said.  
Splash, splash.

	Otoko-Eri felt himself start to grow excited, knowing 
she was naked just over there, and no one else was up.  
"Did Tenma's cooking nearly kill you?"

	"That bastard Vega kissed me!" Onna-Harima said in 
horror.

	For a moment, Otoko-Eri wondered how many levels 
of boyfriend Vega had.  "Vega?" Otoko-Eri asked in 
confusion.

	"Nothing," Onna-Harima mumbled.

	"Have you been kissing..."  I'm the one with the secret 
techniques now, dammit, Otoko-Eri thought.

	"He's not even real!  But he tried to dress me up as 
Chun Li and..." Onna-Harima sounded utterly horrified.

	Otoko-Eri worked on one of his legs.  The 
names...vaguely familiar.  "Is this some computer thing?"

	"You don't know Street Fighter?  What kind of man 
are you?" Onna-Harima asked in shock.

	"The not normally a man kind," he said, though his 
body had other ideas.  He felt frustrated with it for getting 
excited so easily.

	She sighed.  "We can't reach those dragons soon 
enough for me."

	"Yeah," he said.

	They bathed quietly after that, and once they were 
finished, sat down on a log together, looking up at the stars.  
"You'd better not have peeped at me," Onna-Harima said.

	"Nothing I haven't seen before, and I seem to 
remember someone having walked in on me NAKED," 
Otoko-Eri snapped.  

	"You haven't seen MY fine breasts naked," Onna-
Harima said.  "They're the best."  She sounded quite proud 
of them.  

	"Not as nice as mine when I'm a girl," Otoko-Eri said, 
though he thought she probably was actually closer to 
Mikoto.  His mind began conjuring images of them bare 
and he tried to make it stop.  This can't possibly really 
happen to guys, he thought.  Or they'd all be Imadori, he 
thought.

	He put an arm around her without thinking about it.  
She leaned over, putting her head on his shoulder, and he 
wondered how much of what they were feeling at the 
moment was real and how much was magical.  Did the 
magic enable an unusual natural experience or how much 
of the lusts and things were themselves magical?

	He shouldn't do anything, shouldn't try anything, but 
his body was urging him and his will was weak.  He loved 
her, he wanted her, and she was here and seemed willing 
to...well, at least to cuddle.  But how much of it was real?  
Was she made to feel all this or was this her true feelings 
coming out with the loss of control from the change?  He 
certainly felt much less in control...was it the same for her?

	He reached up and took her head and turned it around 
to face him and leaned in to kiss her; she closed her eyes, 
breathing faster and leaned in.  Their lips met and they 
began to kiss.  To his pleasure, she seemed to enjoy this 
very much, and he drew her in closer.  

	"How did you...learn to kiss like that?" Onna-Harima 
asked, breaking off the kiss for a moment and breathing 
hard.

	"I took a level of boyfriend.  I hear girlfriend also 
gives you techniques when you level."

	"I just need a little more XP," Onna-Harima said.  "I'll 
just have to learn this way."

	They leaned in to kiss again and...

	"KENJI HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" Tenma shouted, 
plunging out of the trees in a ninja outfit.  She threw down 
a smoke grenade, grabbed Onna-Harima and dragged her 
off while Otoko-Eri flailed in the smoke.

	Dammit, he thought.  She'd better not have been 
spying on me while I bathed.

*************  

	Tenma carefully told herself that any illicit thoughts 
about how nice Otoko-Eri looked in the water with no 
clothing were merely collateral damage from her efforts to 
help her sister.  Not cheating on her boyfriend at all.

	Not that they were formally boyfriend / girlfriend, but 
close enough, right?

	"Don't be a monkey!  You belong to Yakumo!" Tenma 
said.  "Don't make me scrub your brain with soap!"

	"I slept with Yakumo all night in my arms," Onna-
Harima protested.  "I had to balance things out."

	"Balance is a monkey theory!" Tenma said.  

	"And if I don't kiss him, he'll kiss Yakumo again!" 
Onna-Harima protested.

	I am surrounded by crazy people, Tenma thought.  
This was truer than ever.  "What?"

	"Guys who can't get what they need get a wandering 
eye.  You have to farm them carefully, so they don't get too 
high of expectations, but don't get too frustrated either," 
Onna-Harima said.

	"Who told you that crazy monkey talk?" Tenma 
demanded.  There were going to have to be Tenma-ninja-
beatings, she could see.

	"Akira-san," Onna-Harima said.  "Also, I peeped on 
him, so I owed him.  Mmmm, good."

	Tenma's eyes widened.  "You're forgetting who you 
are.  You're a boy!  You shouldn't peep on boys!"

	"I'm a...AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"  Onna-Harima 
fled screaming as it sank in she'd been ogling a guy.

	Tenma buried her face in her hands, hearing people 
wake up.  This waking everyone with screaming thing was 
going to have to go once they were cured.  Which had 
better be soon!

**************
			
	Onna-Harima, Tenma, Yakumo, and Otoko-Eri sat in 
the middle of a circle with everyone else around them.  
Tani-sensei said, "I'm going to have to separate you four if 
you don't stop waking up every morning screaming and 
rousting everyone out of bed early."

	"I'm very sorry," Yakumo said.

	"I didn't even do anything!" Tenma protested.

	"It's probably wisest if none of us sleep in the same 
place," Otoko-Eri said mournfully.

	"I can't help it if my raw sexiness drives others to 
madness," Onna-Harima said.

	Lady Harima said, "Have you contemplated whether 
maybe it's more like unsexiness?"

	"I'll show you unsexiness!"  The Harimas began to 
pound each other.

	Tae-sensei rose to stop them, but Yuri stopped her.  
"Might as well let them get it out of their system for the 
day," she said to Tae-sensei, who sighed and sat back 
down.

	"Anyway, you're going to have to sleep apart, as you 
can't handle sleeping together," Tani-sensei said.

	Sagano snickered until he glared at her.

	"Yes, sir," Yakumo said.  How will I ever manage to 
sleep with Kenji now, she wondered.

	I guess it's time to sleep with the guys, Otoko-Eri 
thought.

	Maybe...Maybe I could sleep with Karasuma, Tenma 
thought, then nosebled and passed out.

	The Harimas were too busy hitting to think.

***********

	Girrik the Green was busy trying to take his mid-
afternoon nap when he heard a voice from the shadowy 
corner of his lair.  "Awaken, oh mighty Girrik.  I, Lord 
Mysterious Evil, have need of you."

	"Five more minutes," Girrik mumbled.

	He felt something bite his butt.  Snapping awake, he 
flailed his tail and hit nothing, then looked around.  There 
was nothing with butt-biting power present except maybe a 
hooded figure lurking in the corner.  "Who are you, 
intruder?" he hissed.

	Something bit his butt again, even though he couldn't 
see anything to do it.  Then the stranger said, "I am Lord 
Mysterious Evil, Wielder of the Black Flames of 
Mysterious Evil.  Soon, ALL WILL OBEY ME."

	"Uh huh.  And your lady friend?"

	"Hey, you can't see me out here!" the woman shouted 
from outside the lair.

	"She's got a paladin outfit on, but she's wearing a 
harem ninja outfit under it," Girrik said.

	"Your senses are as keen as they say."

	"I would still be a paladin if not for the stupid ways 
the fall from grace rules work!" the woman shouted.  
"Imadori was the one in the drinking contest, not me!"

	"Don't worry, my love.  You'll always be my paladin," 
Lord Mysterious Evil said.

	"Awww," she said, blushing, her pony-tail swishing 
back and forth as she shook her head excitedly.

	"How very sweet," Girrik said.  "Now, any reason I 
shouldn't eat you for waking me up?"

	"There is a huge pile of adventurers coming to steal 
your girdle."  

	"That would ruin my draconic sex-change business!" 
Girrik said frantically.

	"Exactly.  They march against the Green Dragon Clan, 
and..."

	"It's the damn Wu Tang Clan again," Girrik said.

	"No, it's the Defenders," Lord Mysterious Evil said.

	Girrik rose.  "I will rally my clan mates!  THE WU 
TANG CLAN WILL DIE!"

	"No, wait, the Defen..."

	Girrik took off, his wings kicking up a huge pile of 
dust as he flew out of the cave.  Once the hacking and 
coughing stopped, Lord Mysterious Evil said, "Well, that 
plan went less painfully than I expected."

	His consort, Lady Mysterious Night, replied, "But it 
didn't work."

	"Well, we get to loot all their lairs while they're 
raiding the Wu Tang Clan.  So at least we get a consolation 
prize."

	"Just don't get confused and put on the sex-changing 
belt," she said, starting to check out the pile of treasure.  

	"No danger of that," he said.  "I like being a man.  
Don't you do it either."

	"I won't," she said.

	"We'll test it on Lord Mysterious Rider," he said.

	"EXACTLY."

*************

	Tani-sensei held a hand over his eyes to ward off the 
sun as he looked up at the flight of dragons zooming off 
westwards.  "Wow."

	"Well, if they're all leaving, we may be in luck," Tae-
sensei said.  "Maybe it's migration season for them."

	"I've never heard of Dragons going west for the 
winter," Sorceress Eri said.  "They do fly around a lot in the 
fall in order to feed for their winter hibernation, but they 
should all be mostly sleeping by now."

	"Well, if we hurry, maybe we can get the belt before 
they return," Sagano said.

	"Good idea," Tae said.  "All ninjas gather around, 
we'll move ahead and secure the belt while the rest of you 
catch up."

	The ninjas and harem ninjas took off through the tree 
tops.

	After a while they came back.  "Bad news," Akira 
said.  "Someone stole all of the dragons' treasures, except 
for this bottlecap collection one of them had."

	"NOOOOO!!!!!!" Onna-Harima proclaimed.

	Sorceress Eri stepped up and concentrated, mumbling 
a long complex phrase.  "The belt is THAT way," she said, 
pointing north-east."

	"Something must have really kicked their butts," 
Sagano said thoughtfully.

	"Let's press on, increasing our pace," Tani-sensei said.  
"I think the thieves can't be TOO far ahead."

	"LET'S RIDE!" Lady Harima said, spurring her horse 
forwards.

	It was the wrong way, of course, but it didn't take 
TOO long to get her back on track.

**************

	That night, it was proven that loud rap music will, in 
fact, drown out the sound of an entire clan of dragons 
approaching a stadium.  

	On the other hand, it won't drown out the sound of 
dragons rampaging angrily through the audience or the 
band.

	Once the Wu Tang Clan had been scattered to the 
winds, the dragons turned to return home, their vengeance 
secure.

**************

	"You do realize the dragons will come and eat us once 
they find out you stole all their treasures, right?" Lord 
Mysterious Rider asked; you could hardly see his blonde 
hair under his black helmet and mask.

	"That's why you must ride VERY fast to our 
stronghold," Lord Mysterious Evil said.

	"Can't you use your 'blackflame' to throw them off the 
trail or something?" Lord Mysterious Rider asked.

	"A good idea," he said, throwing up a sphere of the 
flame around them.  "It should repel any magical tracking.  
We'll be fine."

	Lady Mysterious Night hoped he was right.  At least 
they couldn't see any dragons chasing them now.

************

	Sagano reported in.  "We couldn't find anything which 
might be disrupting the spell, but we found a set of heavy 
wagon tracks from the lairs off in the direction we were 
going before."

	"Okay, then we'll stop here for the night," Tani-sensei 
said.  "And follow the tracks tomorrow."

	"But...the belt..." Lady Harima said.

	"Whatever can scare off so many dragons...we should 
face it fresh," Tani-sensei said.

	"Yes, sensei," Lady Harima said, sighing.

	"Okay, let's camp."

****************

	"Why don't you come stay with us?" Mikoto told 
Otoko-Eri.  "Yakumo and Tenma can share a tent, and then 
Harima-san can stay with Akira and Nara or maybe with 
Sagano and Yuuki."

	"Sagano's been tenting with Fuyuki, so Yuuki could 
use the company, I think," Akira said.  "Though I wouldn't 
mind her staying with us."

	"Thanks," Otoko-Eri said.  No danger of Mikoto and 
Hanai turning me on, he thought.  Or so he hoped.

	"Once you're fixed we can finally go home," Mikoto 
said.  "Haruki and I really need to check on Miki and 
Masahiro."

	"They're fine, I'm sure," Hanai said.  "Just fine."

*************

	o/~ Where there's a whip, there's a way o/~ Mr. Hanai 
sang as he cracked the whip over the sled train; Miki and 
Masahiro were slowing down after another day of hauling 
him around in what was supposed to be a dog sled but was 
actually a people sled now.

	They were going to kill someone...whenever they 
recovered enough to kill someone, anyway.

***************

	Tenma finished arranging the pillows to look like she 
was still in bed, then snuck out.  Yakumo would be okay 
alone for a while; she'd fallen asleep so quickly.  

	She crept over to Karasuma's tent and stuck her head 
in.  It was actually Sara and Satsuki's tent.  They had 
cuddled up to each other in their sleep, each mumbling 
their boyfriend's name.  Tenma covered her mouth and 
snuck over to the next one.

	Asou and Suga were there.  They slept soundly and 
normally.  She crept off.

	The next tent, which held Sasakura-sensei and Itoko-
sensei made Tenma's eyes try to roll back in their sockets 
as she observed what they were up to.  She felt a vague 
urge to go jump on Mikoto.

	She shook her head and tried to burn the images out of 
her brain by going to the next tent, which actually had 
Karasuma in it.  It was supposed to have Martial Artist 
Hanai too, but he'd snuck off to Lala's tent again, it looked 
like.  She wondered why Karen wasn't protesting, then 
remembered Karen was on watch with Sagano, Fuyuki, and 
Yuuki.

	So she crept into Karasuma's tent and shook his foot.

	He woke up, blades in his hand, and nearly pinioned 
her to the ground before he realized who it was and 
dropped the blades.  "Sorry."

	She gulped.  "I didn't mean to worry you."

	"Come in," he said, so she did.

	"Do you mind..." she began.  "I mean, I'd like 
to...stay."

	"Stay," he said, pointing to the bedding next to him.

	She kicked off her shoes and got into the bedding, 
feeling her heart pounding.  Would he...should they...am I 
old enough, she wondered.

	He laid down, put an arm around her, and closed his 
eyes.  She embraced him, then said softly, "Want to...kiss?"

	He answered with a snore.

	She sighed and cuddled up to him.  Better than 
nothing.  And since he embraced her...clearly...I should kiss 
him, she thought.

	She was right over him, leaning down to kiss his lips 
when a human body fell on the roof of the tent, slamming 
her into Karasuma and collapsing the tent.  
"AAAAAAAA!!!"

***************

	Once Tenma was asleep, Yakumo glided out of her 
tent.  She had to...something.  She wasn't even sure what 
she would do if she found Kenji, especially given that he 
was camped out with Akira and Nara.  But she'd do 
something, right?

	Something...but what?  

	She was still thinking when she found the right tent 
and crept into it.  Or at least, she thought it was the right 
tent until she tried to shake Kenji awake, then realized she 
was shaking Otoko-Eri and that Hanai had woken up and 
was staring at her.

	Poor Yakumo, Hanai thought.  So desperate for a man 
that she turns to Sawachika, having lost her boyfriend to 
the spell.  She needs a real man like me, not a fake man.

	Is she trying to seduce me?  Otoko-Eri thought.  
Maybe she got the wrong idea from all those kisses.  Or do 
I still owe her more at this point?  He'd lost track.

	Everyone's going to start yelling and then everyone 
will wake up in the camp and they'll kill us, Yakumo 
thought in a panic.

	I like cheese, but does cheese like me, Mikoto 
wondered as she dreamed of a cheese festival, oblivious to 
the silent drama around her.

	Yakumo put a hand over Otoko-Eri's mouth so he 
couldn't scream.

	She's trying to murder her rival, Hanai realized.  
Jealousy is a terrible thing.  He quickly lept at her to 
separate them.  This yanked Mikoto around and she sat up 
just in time to see Hanai kneeling over Yakumo, his legs 
trailing onto a confused looking Otoko-Eri who was 
rubbing his mouth, with Hanai's hands pinning Yakumo's 
arms.

	"Haruki, what are you DOING?" Mikoto yelped and 
whacked him in the back of the head with a pillow.  This 
caused him to kick Otoko-Eri onto Mikoto and to fall down 
on Yakumo.

	"Dang, they're BOTH cheating on Harima," Sagano 
said, head stuck under the flap.

	Fuyuki snapped a picture of the two tangled pairs.

	"Will you STOP sticking your head into tents 
uninvited?" Otoko-Eri said, kicking Fuyuki out.

	"I am not cheating on Ha...on Mikoto!" Hanai shouted, 
trying to untangle his groggy brain.

	"I WAS JUST TRYING TO SLEEP!"

	"I...just...Kenji..."  Yakumo ran off into the night in a 
panic, snagging a pole.  The tent promptly collapsed.  She 
tripped and fell onto another tent, which collapsed.  

	That's when the trouble started.  

*************

	Tani-sensei heard the sounds of a spreading riot just as 
he was kissing his way down Yuri's left breast, while Tae-
sensei was stroking her spine.  "Dammit, do these kids 
level their family's houses every night???"

	"Good thing we weren't sleeping yet," Yuri moaned.

	Tani-sensei fumbled for his clothing.  "Keep her 
warmed up, I'll go restore order."

	"They'll probably need all of us, it sounds like," Tae-
sensei said.

	"No, no, I'll handle this," he said, kissing each of 
them.  "Be right back."

	He got dressed and went out and found the entire crew 
busy beating each other up for no clear reason.  Even 
Tenma was trying to strangle Sagano.  "MY PRECIOUS 
EVENING WITH KARASUMA-KUN!!!!"

	"Hey, I stayed out of your tent since you weren't doing 
anything very interesting besides sleeping with Karasuma!"

	Mikoto paused inbetween efforts to clobber Hanai and 
Fuyuki at once.  "You and Karasuma finally did it?"

	"Yes, we did," Tenma said.  "AND SAGANO 
RUINED IT."

	Karasuma nodded.  

	Wait, this was their first time?, Otoko-Eri thought.  
But what about... he felt so confused.  But not so confused 
he couldn't duck under a punch from Martial Artist Hanai 
and kick him in the knee, though he then elbowed Otoko-
Eri's head, sending him to the ground.

	Tani-sensei said, "EVERYONE STOP HITTING 
EACH OTHER!"

	They froze in place; not easy for the two Harimas, 
who had each other in a complicated tangle up in a tree.

	"All of you are going to go BACK TO BED and be 
VERY QUIET," Tani-sensei said, an aura flaring around 
him.  "Or there will be a mountain of DEATH."

	"Sorry, sir," Hanai said, saluting.

	"You're the class president's assistant," Tani-sensei 
said.  "Try to act like it."

	Hanai stared at the ground.  "Yes, sir."

	He began making shooing gestures until the students 
all went back to set up their tents and go to sleep.

	A teacher's work is never done, Tani-sensei thought.

************

	Later, Akira looked over at Onna-Harima, who was 
staring at the ceiling.  "Can't sleep?" she whispered.  Nara 
was snoozing away next to her.

	"Yeah," Onna-Harima whispered.

	"Because of Karasuma and Tenma-chan?"

	"Yeah," Onna-Harima mumbled.

	"Jealousy is a terrible thing," Akira said.  "But you do 
have a girlfriend to fall back on."

	Onna-Harima rolled onto her side.  "I didn't...I mean, I 
like Yakumo and she is cute, but it wouldn't be...I can't 
pretend I feel the same about her as I do about Tenma-san."  
She sighed.

	"Do you like Eri more, then?" Akira asked.

	Onna-Harima turned red.  "He's so bold and when he 
kisses me, I just kind of feel like I'm on fire and..."

	Akira shook Onna-Harima gently, trying to not wake 
up Nara.  "That's what your girl side thinks, but what about 
Kenji the boy?"

	"I don't know," she mumbled.  "I thought she hated 
me, and then I thought we were friends and now she wants 
to be my girlfriend, I think, and she does make a pretty 
good boyfriend, except for kissing everyone in sight, 
including Yakumo!"  Maybe I need to take a level of 
girlfriend to know how to handle him, especially if he's 
learned how to seduce me by bathing naked in front of me 
with his level of boyfriend.  And it will help me with my 
girlfriend, she thought.

	Nara began to stir and Akira tried to will him back to 
sleep.  "I think that was an accident."

	"I was a man, I know how they think," Onna-Harima 
said.  "Only a true, pure love can protect a man from 
chasing every woman in sight.  I had that with Tenma-san, 
but now..."  She frowned.  "I may become as much of a 
monkey as he is once I'm back to normal."

	"Not all men are monkeys," Akira said.  "Nara isn't."

	"But he has his pure love of you to shield him," Onna-
Harima said.

	"Did you even think about women before you fell for 
Tenma?" Akira asked.

	"I was too busy punching people," he said.

	"Well, you may be fine once you're back to normal," 
Akira said.  "Not every man is a monkey like Hanai or 
Imadori."  Her voice wavered a little as she said that.  "So 
you don't know how you feel about Eri?"

	"I don't know how boy me feels.  Girl me kind of 
likes..."  her voice slowed.  "Likes being the focus of 
attention."

	Akira was surprised at her honesty.  "It is nice to be 
pursued, but this is the kind of thing that eventually blows 
up in a woman's face if she lets it drag on, Kenji."

	"Maybe I should have a contest," Onna-Harima 
mumbled.

	"No," Akira said firmly.

	"I'm not ready to go back to being a boy," Onna-
Harima said, sighing.  "I can have both of them as a girl, 
but not as a boy."

	"Well, really, a woman shouldn't lead two people on at 
once either," Akira said, glancing at the still sleeping Nara.  
"Not that I would know or anything."

	"It would be even better if they'd both turned into a 
guy, so they could both chase me on even terms," Onna-
Harima mumbled, yawning.  "But...is it like this with you 
and Nara?"

	"Not really, since there's just the two of us," Akira said 
quickly.

	"No, I mean, the whole...I just...when he comes onto 
me...do you feel like that when Nara is...with you?"  She 
flailed with her hands, trying to convey the feeling.

	Akira's eyes widened slightly.  "Sometimes, yeah.  
You get more used to it after a while, but I just...it feels 
good to be with him."

	"I just...he makes me so mad, but then he leans in 
and...and we..."  Onna-Harima turned red.

	"You two haven't..." Akira began.

	"No, no, I've never done that as a guy or a girl or 
anything," Onna-Harima said quickly.  "We didn't get 
naked, though I did see him bathing and man, he looked 
good and...no, shouldn't think that way, I'm going to be a 
boy and I don't want to be imagining...no, no."  She gritted 
her teeth.

	Akira shook her head.  "It's going to be very strange 
for you," she said.

	"Yeah.  I think it's gonna feel very strange.  I'm just 
starting to get used to this.  Well, at least I didn't bleed."

	"That's true," Akira said.  "You're lucky in that."

	"I should sleep," Onna-Harima said.

	"Just don't go sneaking off to Eri's tent, even..."  Akira 
made herself shut up before she put ideas in Kenji's tiny 
head.

	She fell asleep worrying about whether Kenji would 
do anything crazy.

*********************  

	Yakumo was sleeping by herself, feeling a little 
depressed.  She was woken, to her surprise, by Onna-
Harima.  Her eyes widened and she felt her heart pound a 
little faster.

	"I should...be back to normal tomorrow," Onna-
Harima said softly.  "I just wanted to thank you for being 
patient with me.  I don't know...well, I don't know what 
he'll think, but I think you've been a very patient girlfriend, 
probably better than either of us deserve."  She leaned 
down and kissed Yakumo's forehead.  

	Yakumo smiled at that, and it made Onna-Harima glad 
she'd thought to take the level of girlfriend.  It had shown 
her what to do to cheer Yakumo up some.  That was good, 
right?  "I wish I'd turned into a boy," Yakumo mumbled.  
"So I could..."

	"Hmm, I'm not sure how good you'd look as a boy, but 
hopefully, we'll never have to find out," Onna-Harima said.  
Though now she was curious.  Hopefully, he'd be as 
bishonen-hunky as Otoko-Eri. "Is your sister..."

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	Onna-Harima sighed.  "Kiss me, make me forget."  
More advice from her new class.  

	Nervously, feeling very strange, Yakumo pulled her 
down and kissed her softly on the lips.  Her heart was 
beating and she felt quite odd.  "Did it help?"

	"Some," Onna-Harima said.  "I'd better go sleep."

	"Can you stay with me?" Yakumo asked softly.  She'd 
given up on the idea of sex...she wasn't even sure if it 
would really help, this way.  It might just make him gay or 
something.  But she wanted to hold her boyfriend.  If he 
still was, anyway.

	"I...your sister..."

	"Isn't coming back," Yakumo said softly.

	"I...okay," she said, and climbed into the sheets, 
quickly falling asleep as Yakumo nervously cuddled up to 
her.

	For once, there was no screaming in the morning.

*************

	 Otoko-Eri got up and stretched, coming out of the tent 
and looking for breakfast; he found Onna-Harima 
cheerfully drinking milk and eating bread, fruit, and 
venison.  "Good morning, boyfriend," she said cheerfully, 
then gave him a meaningful look.

	Otoko-Eri knew that look.  It was the look that he was 
supposed to know something or do something but he didn't 
know it or what to do.  Dammit, he thought.  Why do 
women do this to us?  "Am I forgetting something?"

	Onna-Harima looked aggravated.  "Well, if you can't 
remember something this simple..."

	He sat down and got food, feeling a little cranky.  
"Well, if all goes well, we'll be back to normal and it'll be 
your turn to forget things," he grumbled.

	Onna-Harima's eyes widened.  "Uh oh..."

	"What?" Otoko-Eri asked.

	"We both took a level of girlfriend and boyfriend, 
right?"

	"Right," Otoko-Eri said.

	"What's that going to do to us when we turn back?" 
Onna-Harima asked.

	"..."

	Nearby, Akira said, "I think you'd fall like a paladin 
who breaks his code."

	"Probably it would all go inactive, right?" Nara said.

	"Maybe you'd change sex if you ever used the class 
abilities," Sagano speculated, waving a fork in the air with 
a large chunk of bread stuck on it; she held a butter knife in 
the other hand.

	They called in Sorceress Eri who said, "Hmm.  You 
know, I don't know.  People don't NORMALLY switch 
sex."

	"Can we unlevel it?"

	"No takebacks," Sorceress Eri said.  "But I would 
think it would just go inactive when you changed sex.  Or 
maybe you'd just get a different perspective."

	"Or turn gay," Yuuki suggested.

	"..."

	"There's not separate 'gay girlfriend' or 'bi girlfriend' 
classes, so it applies whoever you're dating, I think...maybe 
a boy could use it to have a womanly perspective," 
Sorceress Eri said.  "We'll have to find out."

	Dammit, Onna-Harima said.  I don't want to mess this 
up before it starts.

***************

	Lord Mysterious Evil knew they were in trouble.  The 
Dragons would return eventually, likely were returning 
even now, their bellies full of Wu Tang Clan, and would 
find the missing treasure and chase them.  But worse, they 
were also being chased by the Defenders, it looked like, 
who would catch up to them hours before the Dragons 
would.

	"Faster, Lord Mysterious Rider!" he snapped at the 
elegantly clad and helmeted Lord Mysterious Rider, who 
was trying to tow 20 wagons of treasure with his Iron 
Steed.

	"I can't go very fast with this much stuff," he 
protested.

	"Perhaps if we leave the treasure, then the heroes and 
the Dragons will fight over the treasure and then we can 
steal it from the survivors," Lady Mysterious Knight said.

	"Hmm, brilliantly evil," he said, kissing her.  "You are 
adapting well to being one of us."

	"I throw myself into everything I do," she said.  "If I 
have to be evil...so be it.  At least I still have you."

	They began to snuggle, until Lord Mysterious Rider 
said, "THAT IS ENOUGH."

	Lord Mysterious Evil sighed.  "Let's park the wagons 
and hide then.  And we will HAVE OUR REVENGE!"

	They'll pay for dumping me in the school election 
after I lost my paladin status, Lady Mysterious Knight 
thought.  THEY WILL PAY.

***********

	Martial Artist Hanai stopped flirting more with Lala 
and turned to look around suspiciously as they found the 
abandoned wagons.  "Something's wrong here," he said.

	"What is it, dear?" she asked.  She felt very good; 
finally, a Hanai all to herself.  Even if it felt a little odd as 
he was...well, not exactly a COPY per se...

	But better than nothing, given Suou had her claws into 
Hanai now.  

	"No one abandons this much treasure.  Why didn't the 
people who killed them take it?  Maybe it's cursed," he 
said.

	Voices chorused from the nearby woods.  
"Curse...curse...curse..."

	Lala frowned.  "Could it really be a curse?"

	"Maybe.  Let's get the others."

	They soon had the whole group and Sorceress Eri and 
Witch Yakumo began searching around the place.  "No 
sign of a real curse."

	"And no one in the woods," Sagano said, returning 
with Yuki and Fuyuki from a sweep. 

	"Let's find the belt and leave the rest; hopefully the 
dragons won't notice just one thing missing," Tani-sensei 
said.

	"Notice and obsessively hunt us to the ends of the 
Earth," Witch Yakumo said.  "Actually."

	"Well...if we just use it, then leave it, they have no 
reason to follow us, right?" Asou asked.

	"That's too logical," Sagano said.

	"But...treasure..."  Satsuki's hands twitched.  

	Suga took them.  "Let's not fight Dragons if we don't 
have to."

	They began searching.  Onna-Harima felt very 
nervous, wondering what she'd feel like once she changed 
back.  I hope I didn't screw myself up too bad, she thought.  
And how...she had no idea how to handle Yakumo and Eri 
after this.  Guys...she'd be a monkey if she tried to date 
them both.  It was easier this way, really.  But to never be a 
guy again...aaaaaah!

	Otoko-Eri worried about the same thing.  He was just 
starting to get used to being a boy and now he was going to 
be a girl again and all the things...they'd said and 
done...And Kenji, at least, seemed more open to him this 
way than when they'd been the other way.  Would he go 
back to before?  What was their relationship going to be 
like?

	Yakumo found the belt and brought it straight to 
Onna-Harima.  "Here we go."

	"Hold on," Witch Yakumo said, studying it carefully; 
it was a wide leather belt which buckled behind a divided 
golden belt buckle with a man symbol on one side and a 
woman on the other.  It felt right to her.  "This is it," she 
said.  "Let's test it on Lady Harima first."

	Nervously, Yakumo let her take it.

	Lady Harima put it on.  There was a poof of smoke 
and now he was back to his normal bearded self.  
"EXCELLENT," he said.  

	Onna-Harima felt a little better.  If Lady Harima could 
adapt so easily...  "Gimme."

	Otoko-Eri looked over at Onna-Harima, then stepped 
in and gave her a kiss.  Which led to Yakumo then giving 
her a kiss too.  Many went 'oooo' and Otoko-Eri had a 
messy feeling about the future.

	Lord Harima tried to take the belt off.  "Dammit!  It 
won't come off!"

	Onna-Harima said, "You moron, you can't even take a 
belt off!  Let me do it!"  She began fumbling at the buckle, 
which stubbornly refused to unbuckle.

	For a moment, Otoko-Eri had a mental image of 
Onna-Harima trying to strip Lord Harima, then dismissed 
it.  THAT, at least, would never happen, right.  He came 
over to help; soon all three were elbowing each other in the 
face, and shoving each other's hands out of the way.

	Tani-sensei smelled a brawl and stepped in.  "Let me 
do it."

	"I don't want some guy taking my belt off," Lord 
Harima said.  "Too gay."

	"I'll do it," Sorceress Eri said.

	"I'll do it," Witch Yakumo said.

	They glared at each other.  "You aren't touching him!" 
Sorceress Eri said.

	"You neither!" Witch Yakumo said.

	Energy crackled between them.

	Akira tried to think this through logically.  Obviously, 
the belt was...enchanted to not come off.  "It's a cursed belt, 
right?  So it stays on, keeping you shifted in gender, until 
the curse is broken."

	"But then, Kenji and I can't..." Otoko-Eri began.

	"Yes, you're stuck.  And if we did get the belt off Lord 
Harima, he'd turn female again, I think."

	"DAMMIT!"

	"Why did the Archmagus say it could cure us all, 
then?" Onna-Harima asked.

	"I don't know," Akira said.  "Although...we should 
search, make sure this is the right belt."

	"Hmm, I can think of one possibility," Sara said.

	"What?" Onna-Harima asked.

	Sara tried dumping a bucket of cold water on Lord 
Harima.

	"HEY!" he stood there dripping wet and shivering.

	"Okay, that's not it," she said.  "Had to try it."

	"We could hug him, see if he turns into an animal," 
Sagano said.

	"I don't think that will get the belt off or turn Kenji 
and Eri back to normal," Tenma said.  "Let's look for other 
belts."

	There were twenty other belts, some normal but made 
of fine leathers and jeweled.  Others looked magical, but 
were unclear of property.  "Maybe this is it..." Witch 
Yakumo said hesitantly.

	She was holding up a narrow black belt with a golden 
buckle that showed a man and a woman bending to one 
side as they did some sort of exercise in unison.

	"I suppose that's one kind of gender bending," Akira 
said, though she felt skeptical.

	"Try this on," Witch Yakumo said to Otoko-Eri.

	Nervously, he put it on and found himself compelled 
to exercise.  Without stopping.  Forever.  "Get it off!"  But 
it wouldn't come off either.

	"Look, let's take them all back to the Archmagus.  He 
can remove the cursed ones and..." Sorceress Eri began.

	"I'm not going to last that long!" Otoko-Eri said, 
bending to one side while touching his head and waist.  

	Onna-Harima said, "This is a job for a strong guy like 
me."  She grabbed the belt and TUGGED on it.  It ripped 
apart.

	Taking Otoko-Eri's pants apart with it.  He was 
wearing boxers fortunately, but had to dive behind a 
wagon.  "Dammit!"

	"So forward," Yuri mumbled.

	"Man, woman wants you," Sagano said.

	"MONKEY!" Tenma said, ninja-kicking Onna-
Harima, who flew into another wagon.

	"I just wanted to help!" Onna-Harima said as she 
crashed into it.

	"Don't worry, male-me.  I'll magic you some magic 
pants," Sorceress Eri said.

	"Magic, magic, magic pants?" Martial Artist Hanai 
asked.

	"Exactly," she said, waving her arms and chanting.  
"CREO PARDUS!!!!!"

	A pair of nice black slacks appeared, which Martial 
Artist Hanai took to Otoko-Eri.  "Here you go."

	"Thanks," he said and put them on, then came back 
out.  

	Onna-Harima peeled herself out of the wagon with 
Yakumo's help.  "Well, uh, I guess we take the belts to the 
Archmagus and beat him up if he can't help."

	"Sounds like..."  Tae-sensei paused and looked to the 
horizon.  "That cloud looks strange."

	Martial Artist Hanai peered.  "That's not a cloud, it's 
10 dragons."

	"..."

	"Green dragons."

	"This is gonna really suck," Suga said.

	I should have gotten another level of Priestess, not 
Girlfriend, Sara thought.

	I should have looked for a cheat code to level quickly, 
Asou thought.  Dishonorable as it is.  

	I must protect Tsukamoto-san, Karasuma thought.

 	If I lose another pair of pants, I'm gonna be pissed, 
Otoko-Eri thought.

	"Any chance we could teleport, maybe?" Tani-sensei 
asked.

	"If you like risking appearing embedded in a wall," 
Witch Yakumo said.  "Sorceress Eri has bad aim."

	"The walls just HATE me," Sorceress Eri grumbled.

	"We could challenge them to a riddle contest," Tenma 
said.  

	"Dragons, not Gollum," Nara reminded Tenma.

	"Do Dragons have any weaknesses?" Hanai asked.

	"A deep hatred of rap music," Sorceress Eri said.

	"Very deep," Yakumo said.  "It drives them berserk."

	"That seems more like 'a way for us to die horribly' 
than 'a weakness'," Hanai said.

	"Is there some kind of music they like?" Karen asked 
thoughtfully.

	"Opera and Show Tunes," Witch Yakumo said.

	Karen looked at her fellow band members.  "Shall 
we?"

	"Got anything in mind?" Fuyuki asked.

	"We'll need instruments," Yuuki pointed out.

	"I can handle that for you," Sorceress Eri said.

	"Okay, here's the plan..."

*****************

	Grizzik and his clan circled the sight; lots of tasty 
humans were below, but they were performing.  
Singing...beautiful music.

	He signaled to circle; they could eat the humans when 
they finished.  

	The music continued; the lead singer was like an angel 
with a crystal clear voice, hitting the notes perfectly.  The 
music was so soothing, so enjoyable.  He could feel it 
purging the rap radiation from his body.

	There was dancing too, a bunch of half-naked humans, 
not that cared about them, though it was kind of 
entertaining, as they danced well.  And soothing...

	The music went on.

	And on.

	And on.

	And on...he kept circling; such beauty was so rare that 
he could hardly afford to cut it off by attacking.  And the 
singer...he had to have her for his hoard.  Maybe the whole 
band to perform whenever he liked...

	Yes, that would be good...

	Though he was starting to feel a little tired...

**************
	
	Lord Mysterious Evil frowned.  How would they get 
the belt now?  Unless they could get lucky and just grab 
Lord Harima...they had to try it.

	He signalled the others and they crept forwards.  He 
was almost to the edge of the bushes, when there was this 
woman's foot in front of him.  He looked up and saw Itoko-
sensei.

	"Hello, Tougo," she said.  "I can see you're up to no 
good."

	"Now, now," Lord Mysterious Evil said.  "Just 
because I am dressed all in black, creeping up on your 
group from behind while carrying a wand crackling with 
dark energies does not, in and of itself, prove I'm up to no 
good."

	Lord Mysterious Rider and Lady Mysterious Knight 
froze up, looking at Sasakura-sensei, Tae-sensei, Yuri, and 
Tani-sensei looming over them threateningly.  Tiny 
lightning bolts crackled around the adults.

	"True, I might not be able to prove it in a court of law.  
And yet, I can read it on your face."

	Not another stupid curse, Lord Mysterious Evil 
thought.  "Well, we'll just be crawling away..."

	She picked him up by his foot, dangling him.  "I think 
you stole the dragon's treasure and blamed it on us."

	"No, no, of course not!" Lady Mysterious Knight said.  
"And as a paladin, I cannot lie."

	"Fallen Paladin," Sasakura-sensei said.  "Paladins 
don't wear skimpy black armor and cavort around with dark 
wizards."

	"Outside porn," Tae-sensei said.

	"Which this is not," Yuri said.  

	"That's probably debatable," Itoko mumbled.  
"Nevertheless, we're going to have to trade you three to the 
dragons for our freedom to leave."

	"But...you leave me no choice but to..." he began.

	Itoko pressed his face into the mud.

	"Hey, I was about to mono..."

	Press.

	Lady Mysterious Knight rose and lunged at Itoko, who 
caught her arm and pivoted, hurling her into the air, where 
Tani-sensei leaped up and whacked her with a quarterstaff, 
knocking her into Lord Mysterious Rider; they both fell 
down.

	"Do we have time to give them a beating?" Tani-
sensei asked Itoko-sensei.

	"There's always time for beatings," Itoko-sensei said.

	The concert drowned out the noise, anyway.  

*************

	"Well, you see," Grizzik said, "In order to remove it 
once it works, you have to invoke it properly.  Since that 
didn't happen, it's now broken, just another cursed item.  
Take it before it can get me.  I'll consider my new toys 
payment enough."

	Lord Harima nodded.  "Here."  He signed a parchment 
with his name.  "This autograph will be very valuable one 
day."

	The dragon studied it.  Perhaps the thousands of years 
he had yet to live would be enough to slightly increase the 
value of this.  But it was the thought that counts.  "Give us 
another concert and we'll call it even."

	"Fair enough," Tani-sensei said.  Time to rock the 
house.

**************
	
	That night, Karen was feeling pretty good about 
herself, but also exhausted with her bandmates.  She looked 
up from dinner and saw Lala staring at her.  "Yes, Lala-
san?"

	"Good job," Lala said gruffly.  "Some of us might not 
have survived that."

	Karen smiled.  "Thank you, Lala.  How are you and 
the other Hanai doing?"

	"Very well," Lala said.

	"You'll miss him, won't you?"

	It hit her again, the thing she hid from--that this would 
soon end and she wouldn't see him again.  Lala sat down 
and sighed.  "Yes.  If only Suou hadn't..."

	"But she did.  You can't live in make-believe," Karen 
said.

	"You do with Imadori," Lala said bitterly.

	Karen laughed nervously.  "We're getting closer."

	"I'm sure he's seeing other women," Lala said.

	Karen was sure she was right, but she said, "I'm sure 
he isn't."  

	"Well, we'll find out soon enough."

************

	Mai lay next to Imadori on the grass, wearing just 
barely enough to go out in public.  It was necessary in order 
to manipulate him, she told herself.  Not an exhibitionist 
streak at all.

	"So, I still kind of have this fear of dogs," she said.  
"What about you?"

	"Pecans," he said.

	"Pecans?"

	"Yeah.  I HATE THEM.  They make me run."

	Mai rolled onto her side, trying to keep her chest in 
her shirt.  "Why?"

	"Every fall, Mom drags me around to collect pecans, 
then forces me to crack them all.  I hate them with a 
burning fury that has no evil.  I see them, I FLEE," he said, 
shuddering.

	"Well, that's all done, right?" she said.  Bingo, she 
thought.  A weakness we can exploit for the coup...

	"Yeah," he said, then sat up.  "Let's go hit a movie," he 
said.

	"Sounds good to me," she said, already laying plans 
for his annhilation in her head.

***************

	Otoko-Eri was feeling fairly frustrated, having been 
cheated of the desired cure, or so it felt to him. And he was 
the only guy here who didn't have someone to snuggle up 
to.  At least Karen and Yuuki weren't seeing anyone, so he 
didn't have to feel completely alone.  Also, they were both 
rather good looking and really, he shouldn't be going there.

	"My turn," he told Yakumo.

	"What?" she asked.

	"You had her last night."

	"You can't sleep with Kenji, that would be 
monkeyesque," Tenma said solemnly.

	"Hey, Kenji-chan, you want to share a tent with me?" 
Otoko-Eri asked.

	"You going to try anything perverted?" Onna-Harima 
asked.

	If Onna-Harima flip-flopped once more on this, 
Otoko-Eri was going to explode.  He moved in closer to 
her.  "Do you want me to?"

	"Yes...no...I..."  She began to laugh nervously.

	"You're a boy, Kenji-kun!" Tenma said.

	"And I'm really a girl," Otoko-Eri said.  "So we're 
good either way."  She pointed off across the camp.  "Hey, 
Tenma, Karasuma with his shirt off."

	"Karasuma-kun!" Tenma shouted and ran off.

	Yakumo frowned at him, but he didn't mind.  He was 
going to get...He just wanted her to treat him consistently.  
"So, my turn?" he asked.

	"Well, it is the fair thing.  Just don't try anything 
perverted," Onna-Harima said.  Otoko-Eri had the feeling 
she was relishing being pursued.  

	He knew that feeling.  No wonder she's like this, he 
thought, seeing his own sins in her again.  I'll have to do 
better once I'm normal again.

	"We'll take turns, to be fair," he said to Yakumo.

	She frowned, but acquiesced with a nod of the head.  

	Perfect, Otoko-Eri thought, though he wasn't sure 
what it was perfect for, besides getting his way.  

	Though sometimes that was enough.	

***********

	Otoko-Eri wondered what, if anything, Yakumo had 
done with Onna-Harima.  Probably nothing, he told 
himself.  Surely they weren't already...no, no, she'd act 
differently.  

	He wanted to...but it wasn't safe.  He could sense it, 
but he wanted it.  Maybe it would be wiser to have...no, the 
three of them together always led to disaster, and if NARA 
could get to sleep with a woman, surely he deserved it.

	But would they...would it seem freaky once back to 
normal?  Probably.  But he wanted it, wanted her, felt his 
body talking to him, in a sense.

	"Don't do anything perverted," Onna-Harima said.  
She was wearing a long shirt that went down to her knees, 
and underwear under that.  "But you can put an arm around 
me, since you're my boyfriend," she continued, coming in 
and sitting down by him.  

	Does she really love me, Otoko-Eri wondered.  Loving 
Kenji was a job for the strong, not the weak, she knew that.  
But he seemed...maybe he was just completely over the 
edge.  He felt close to slipping over, and Kenji's mind was 
weaker than his.  

	He sat down by her, wearing pants and a white 
buttoned shirt, which he unbuttoned the top of.  Then he 
hesitantly put an arm around her.  "Kenji, do you 
understand..."

	"Akira told me to seize this chance to understand what 
it is to be a woman.  And I...Well, she is smarter than me," 
Onna-Harima said.  "Maybe it'll help me figure out boy me 
when I'm back to normal."

	"But what if we..." he said hesitantly.  "What if we 
feel we did freaky things when we're back to normal?"

	She put an arm around him.  "Given my learning 
skills, I'll forget it ever happened in a month."

	He envied her that.  "So you're going to just try being 
a girl and rely on amnesia to keep from hating yourself if it 
proves a mistake?"

	"Yeah."  She sounded proud of her plan.

	"That seems a kind of flimsy plan," Otoko-Eri said, 
nerves jangling.  He gently laid her down and pulled the 
sheets up, arm still around her.  She turned to face him as 
he stared up at the ceiling.

	"All my plans seem to flop anyway.  I do best when I 
act without thinking," Onna-Harima said, idly playing with 
a loose strand of Otoko-Eri's hair.

	That was true.  Whereas, that's where her big blunders 
happened--action without thought.  

	"Then we resolve to do what comes naturally and 
forget about the consequences?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "And 
what about...Tenma?"

	Onna-Harima frowned and turned to stare up at the 
ceiling.  "I can't...I need to forget her.  I can't stand to..."  
Her teeth ground.  "Make me forget her.  When you kiss 
me..."

	"I don't want to be just some rebound thing," he said, 
frowning.

	"I can't just forget her," Onna-Harima said.  "Unless 
you help me."  Her voice was wavering; she looked close to 
crying.

	He frowned, feeling his anger getting close to igniting.  
"Do you like me, or do you just want me to be your 
emotional painkiller?"

	"We're friends, aren't we?" Onna-Harima asked, 
sounding agonized.  "Shouldn't we...I like you.  But I can't 
just...turn my heart around.  You know how it is, right?"

	He knew.  He knew how she must feel, but she'd feel 
it worse, as he could still have hope.  No one ought to feel 
that.

	He leaned over and kissed her softly.  "I want to...but 
I'm scared to."

	"Me too," she whispered.  "We don't have to...do that, 
just make me feel wanted."

	Otoko-Eri wondered again how much of this was real.  
It was hard to imagine macho Kenji saying something like 
this.  And yet...maybe this was just macho Kenji's feelings 
through a sort of feminine filter...what he would say if he 
was a woman.

	He certainly wasn't acting entirely the same.  

	Stuff it, he thought.  Let's make out.  We can't really 
settle anything until we're normal.  And if I try to just sleep 
here next to her, I'll go crazy.

	He pulled her into a kiss.  He was kneeling over her, 
kissing her, caressing her sides, when a swarm of ants 
rushed over both of them and started biting.

	Ultimately, he was GLAD when he got thrown in the 
nearby pond by Tani-sensei.

************
	
	"I didn't want them to bite Kenji-san," Yakumo said to 
Witch Yakumo.

	"The ants, they're not so good at identifying people," 
Witch Yakumo said, sighing.  "Let's go fish her out of the 
river."

************

	Yakumo had a bad feeling they knew who did it.  She 
shouldn't have been so petty, but she couldn't leave Kenji 
alone with that perverted boy.  It was for Kenji's own good.

	Unfortunately now, the next night, as she got ready to 
lie down with Kenji, she knew that something would 
happen.  Otoko-Eri had been talking to Sorceress Eri and 
something...it would be terrible.

	As Yakumo was almost asleep, she felt something 
crawl down her leg.  It was a snake.  There were snakes 
everywhere.

	She shrieked and sat up, flailing at them.

	Onna-Harima sighed.  She picked one up behind the 
head.  "Snake-san, I'm not a warm rock," she told the 
snake.

	The snake replied, "Must...crawl...all...over...girls..."  
It sounded like it was on drugs.

	Onna-Harima sighed.  "Zombie pervert snakes."  She 
carefully picked them all up and stuffed them into a bag, 
then went outside, soon finding Otoko-Eri and Sorceress 
Eri trying to look innocent.  "You forgot your snakes," she 
said, tossing them all onto Sorceress Eri.

	The sound of screams lit the night as she went back to 
bed.

*************

	The next day, Onna-Harima called them together.  
"No more sending animals into the tent or other things.  Or 
I'll have to sleep alone.  Don't be monkeys, okay?"

	Yakumo and Otoko-Eri both looked rather 
embarrassed.

	"Now, both of you are going to have to prove your 
devotion to me in order to get back into my tent..."

	Sara, Asou, Satsuki, and Suga watched this from a 
distance.  "Man, she's really getting into this," Suga said.

	"They'll make her wish she'd never been born when 
she's a guy again," Asou said.

	"Well, she has a point," Sara said.  "That wasn't very 
nice of either of them."

	"Because no one here has ever put salt in someone's 
Coke," Asou said.

	Sara looked embarrassed.  

	"How many levels of girlfriend did she take, 
anyway?" Sara asked.  "I don't have that much influence 
over Asou."

	"I have a higher wisdom score," Asou said.

	"Ahh," Sara said.  

	"We should make our boyfriends dance for us, too," 
Satsuki said, watching the trio rather enviously.

	"She is SO dead later," Suga said.  "And all you have 
to do is ask, honey."  He grabbed Asou, sweeping him into 
a formal stance with Asou as the woman, then began to 
waltz.

	"HEY," Asou said, but to his surprise, Suga was a 
pretty fair dancer.

	Sara stared, while Satsuki grinned.  "You're the best, 
Suga-san."

	"Do I get a kiss?" he asked.

	She came over and kissed his cheek.  "Yes."

	He made her kiss him again, on the lips, though she 
blushed.

	"I hope...you don't mind, we don't...like the kids your 
age," Sara mumbled.

	"It'll make it sweeter when we corrupt you," Suga 
said.

	Sara blushed, while Satsuki laughed.  "We'll see who 
corrupts who."

	"Is that a challenge?" Suga asked, leaning in close to 
her.

	"I think it is," Satsuki said.

	They shook hands.  "May the best maniac win," 
Satsuki said.

	Oh dear, Sara thought.  

************

	"We need to get you a boyfriend," Sagano said to 
Yuuki.  "This long trip of unrestrained hedonism will be 
ending soon and we need to hedon you."

	"I think we've seen what happens when I try to get a 
boyfriend," Yuuki said gloomily.  A goblin popped out of 
hiding; she casually shot it with flaming shot from her 
slingshot.  It turned to dust, giving her a few XP.  

	"You kill him?" Sagano asked, her train of thought 
having gotten stuck at the switching station.

	"I don't date goblins!"  She sighed.  "Both Hanais are 
taken and...well, every guy we have is taken except for 
Sawachika, who is only a fake guy."

	"I have to keep telling myself he's really a girl, so I 
don't jump on him," Sagano said.

	"You have a boyfriend!" Yuuki protested.

	"Hmm, I could loan him to you and then I'm probably 
the only person here crazy enough to seduce Sawachika 
and have no regrets..." Sagano said thoughtfully.

	"You never have any regrets for ANYTHING," Yuuki 
said.

	"Exactly," Sagano said.  "I don't have such a low 
Wisdom for nothing."

	Yuuki tugged her hair, then said, "Fuyuki is cute, 
but..."

	"It's settled then.  I must seduce Sawachika, so that 
you can engage in wanton hedonism with my boyfriend for 
the rest of the trip and won't feel sad," Sagano said.

	"I appreciate your concern," Yuuki said.  "But I think 
this may well be your stupidest plan ever."

	"You say that a lot," Sagano pointed out.

	Yuuki leaned against a tree.  "You keep topping 
yourself."

	"Good.  At least I'm learning SOMETHING."

	Yuuki said, "Fine, fine, we'll try it your way.  But are 
you sure Fuyuki will go for this?"

	"He's PUTTY in my hands," Sagano said.  "And he's a 
guy, so I'm sure he wants to jump you anyway.  I have no 
doubt he'll say yes."

***************
	
	"That's entirely crazy," Fuyuki said.  "I'm gonna have 
to veto this."

	They were by his and Sagano's tent after dinner now.  

	"But...don't you think Yuuki is cute?" Sagano asked in 
shock.

	"She's very pretty," Fuyuki said.  Yuuki blushed a 
little.  "But you can't expect me to just be shoved around 
like a counter in your plans."

	"I...you...you're supposed to..." Sagano spluttered.

	"And I don't want you jumping someone else while 
we're going out.  Would you be happy if I did that?" Fuyuki 
asked.

	"Only if I get to pick who," Sagano said.  "I mean, I 
am asking you to jump Yuuki so she can feel happier."

	Fuyuki sighed.  "Yuuki needs someone who really 
loves her.  And you need a reality check."

	"She ALWAYS needs one," Yuuki said, shaking her 
head.

	"But...you...I can't believe you're passing up this 
chance to have another woman!" Sagano said.

	"I'm a little better than that," he said, sounding 
annoyed.  He got up.  "I'm going to go sleep alone tonight.  
You'd better do the same, or we're through."

	He strode off with Sagano staring after him.  She 
turned to Yuuki.  "Aren't men supposed to become docile if 
you sex them up enough?"

	"Who wants some doormat who will do anything for 
sex?" Yuuki asked.  She sighed and got up.  "Goodnight, 
Sagano-san."

	"But..."  Sagano watched them leave and sighed.  I just 
was trying to make everyone happier, she thought.  Why is 
that wrong?

***************

	"I hope I'm not imposing," Otoko-Eri said to Mikoto 
and Hanai.

	"Not at all," Hanai said.  "It's a lot more pleasant to 
have company than to be alone, right, Mikoto-kun?"

	"Yes," Mikoto said smiling as she leaned back against 
him; they were seated on their bedpiling, while Otoko-Eri 
was kneeling in the tent door.  "Come on in."

	He kicked his boots off and put his rifle to one side as 
he came in.  "I just need to be somewhere I won't do 
anything stupid or get bitten by animals."

	Mikoto sighed.  "If he hadn't gone crazy, I'd be pretty 
annoyed with Harima-kun for stringing you both along."

	"He sure is," Otoko-Eri said.  "I'm not...that bad when 
I'm a woman, right?"

	"Not in that way," Mikoto teased.

	"He's everything bad about women in one bundle," 
Hanai said.  "Fickle, demanding, leading multiple lovers 
on, turn you on then call you a pervert..."  He shook his 
head.  "I'm lucky I have a woman who doesn't do stupid 
things like that."

	Hanai now rose and began respreading the sheets for 
three.  Otoko-Eri helped.  "I just need to make sure I don't 
do anything crazy a few more days.  It's just...I don't know 
how to describe it."

	"Did the Archmagus really..." Hanai began.

	"I think so, but he must have been thinking of 
something else or just perverted," Otoko-Eri said, climbing 
into the sheets.  Don't think about a threesome, he told 
himself.  Even if Mikoto is cute.

	Hanai sighed.  "Well, good luck.  I wish I could help."

	"I think he's a crazy old pervert.  We may have gone 
on this for nothing," Otoko-Eri said gloomily.

	"Well, I'll do anything that's necessary to help you get 
back to normal," Mikoto said to Otoko-Eri.  "It's what 
friends are for."

	Otoko-Eri smiled at that.  "Thanks."

	"We'll help however we can," Hanai said.  

	"Thanks," Otoko-Eri said, closing his eyes.  
"Goodnight."

	"Goodnight."

*************	

	Asou looked over at Suga.  "You're planning 
something crazy which will get us both in trouble."

	"Of course not," Suga said.  "They'll love it.  And why 
should we be the only guys here not sleeping with their 
girlfriends?"

	"We're the only guys dating someone younger," Asou 
said.

	"Harima and Tsukamoto," Suga said.

	"That's different," Asou said.  "And I'm sure they're 
not doing anything."

	"Don't make me lose to Satsuki," Suga said. "She'll 
make me wear the duck hat again or something."

	Asou began to laugh.  "Okay, now I must make you 
lose."

	"You punk!"  Suga began shaking Asou and as usual, 
it turned into a wrestling match.

	For once, Suga won.  "I win!  Therefore you must 
make a move on your girlfriend tomorrow," he said.

	"We didn't bet in advance," Asou said.  

	"That just lets me pick my own prize."

	"No dice," Asou said.  "We should sleep."

	"Only if you make me," Suga said.

	Asou slipped the hold and wrestled Suga into a sleeper 
hold.  "Like this?"

	"Punk," Suga mumbled.  

	"Anyway, any crazy bets between you and Satsuki-san  
are not my problem.  Just don't mess with my girlfriend," 
Asou said.

	"At this rate, Sawachika will seduce her before you 
do," Suga said.

	Asou tried to figure out why his sleeper hold was not, 
in fact, putting Suga to sleep.  Going to have to talk to 
Karin tomorrow, he thought.  "Sawachika doesn't even find 
Sara-san attractive."

	"Well, I do, but...aaaaaahhh!!!!"  Suga yelped as Asou 
tightened his grip.  "I swear I won't touch your girlfriend!"

	"Just...let us do things our way, okay?"

	"Fine, fine," Suga said.  "Just let me go."

	Asou let him go and they soon went to sleep.

	I hope Satsuki has more luck than I did, Suga thought.  
She said she had a clever plan...

**************

	"You want to feel his strong arms around you," 
Satsuki whispered into Sara's ears as she slept.  "You want 
to feel his lips against yours, to feel his body pressed to 
yours, feel him against you, warm and strong..."

	She tried to judge if it was working, but Sara just 
seemed to sleep peacefully.  

	"He's got the deepest eyes and a nice body and he talks 
so soft and gentle and you want him, you need him..." 
Satsuki whispered into Sara's ear.  This may take a while, 
she thought.

*************

	The next morning at breakfast, Sara looked somewhat 
discombobulated to Yakumo; her thoughts were tied into 
knots, Yakumo could see.  "Are you okay?" she asked 
softly.

	"I had weird dreams about Jesus hitting on me and..."  
Sara's eyes crossed.

	"..."

	"I hope they weren't supposed to be prophetic as 
they..."  Sara blushed.

	Yakumo saw Sara's thoughts and turned red.  "I see," 
she said weakly, then fell over, passing out.

	"Yakumo-chan!" Sara said, then propped her up.  Oh 
dear, she thought.  I won't mention the dreams Harima 
showed up in, then.

**********

	I will ever regret this, Asou feared.  But he walked up 
to Lala and Martial Artist Hanai and Karin.  "I'm sorry to 
intrude," he said.  "But my attempt to put Suga in a sleeper 
hold didn't work last night and I need advice on the right 
way to do it."

	"Like this!" Lala said, grabbing Karin and trying to 
put her into one.

	Karin's eyes glazed and she flipped Lala into a tree.

	They began pounding each other, while Martial Artist 
Hanai said, "Isn't she magnificent?" as he looked at Lala.

	"Yeah," Asou said, just in case she was listening.  
Okay, don't ask the wrestlers to show off any wrestling 
moves, he thought.  Have to remember that.

*************

	Tenma came up to Sagano, who was sitting alone at 
breakfast, looking mopey.  "What's wrong?"

	"My boyfriend's mad at me and so is Yuuki.  I just 
wanted Yuuki to be happy, you know."  Sagano sighed.  "Is 
that so wrong?"

	"You had a monkey plan, didn't you," Tenma said.

	"Well, really, THIS plan had no monkeys.  That was 
the one to get into the soccer game for free back in March," 
Sagano said.

	"Did you try to get your boyfriend to sleep with Yuuki 
while you seduced Eri-chan?" Tenma asked, sounding 
irritated.

	Sagano froze up.  "How...did you know?"

	"It's exactly your sort of stupid plan," Tenma said 
angrily, then sighed.  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you, but 
I don't know what to do about Yakumo and Eri and Kenji 
the monkey girl and..."  She sighed, sitting down by 
Sagano.  "It's a mess."

	"Well, if I seduce..." Sagano began, then stopped 
when Tenma shook her head no.

	"You just be good to your boyfriend," Tenma said.  
"Okay?"

	"I am," Sagano said.  "But he's not being nice to me."  
She was curled up, legs pulled to her chest, looking pouty.

	"Don't be a baby," Tenma said.

	Sagano stared in shock. "I..."

	"Try to have a LITTLE self-control, okay?" Tenma 
said, then stalked off, feeling guilty for yelling at Sagano, 
but thinking she needed it.

	Sagano stared at her.  Was that really Tenma?  But 
maybe she's right.  Sagano began formulating a plan for 
getting back in good with her boyfriend.  It would have to 
be the best plan ever.

**************

	"Tae-sensei," Onna-Harima said to Tae-sensei.  "Is 
there any way you can check if I'll actually remember any 
of this in a month or whether I'll forget it all like usual?"

	They were walking with the others through the woods.

	"Do you remember how we met, Hario-kun?" she 
asked.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said in reply.

	"Then you won't forget ALL of this," Tae-sensei said.

	Onna-Harima frowned.  "So I can't count on it."

	"Not unless you get whacky amnesia, anyway," Tae-
sensei said.  "Then you'll forget everything until it comes 
back."

	"I just..." Onna-Harima said hesitantly.
	
	"Want to experiment, then forget it?" Tae-sensei 
asked.

	Onna-Harima laughed nervously.

	"Well, very open-minded of you," Tae-sensei said.  
"But why experiment if you're going to forget it?"

	"I think I might throw myself off a cliff once I'm back 
to normal, if I can remember...that."

	"Well, really, it's only fair if you pick one of them or 
else experiment with both," Tae-sensei said.  "Or have a 
threesome."

	Onna-Harima blushed at that.

	"You're so cutely girly," Tae-sensei said, smiling.  She 
patted Onna-Harima's shoulder.  "If you think you'll regret 
it, wait a few days and you'll be back to normal."

	"I just..."  Onna-Harima sighed.  "You're right, it's the 
magic-caused crazy talking."

	"You can kiss and make out some, but I recommend 
you avoid anything beyond that," Tae-sensei said.

	Onna-Harima nodded.  She'd been afraid of that.  But 
it would have to do before she...before she went back to 
normal.  Though it was hard to remember 'normal' clearly.

	But that would all be fixed soon.  Hopefully.

************
	
	"They're watching us," Asou whispered to Sara, as he 
sat with her after dinner.  

	"I..."  She was going to find herself unable to finish, 
he knew.  She'd tried six times to tell him something, then 
cut herself off.  He was starting to worry a little.

	"Look, don't worry about it.  It was probably just some 
stupid thing Suga-kun or Satsuki-san did in their effort to...I 
don't even know what they think they're doing," Asou said.

	"I think they seem to think they can't...do it...if we 
don't first," Sara said.

	"I don't get it," Asou said.  "It's wiser to show some 
self-control, hormones or not, but why wait for us?"

	"Suga-san respects you very much, I think," Sara said.  
"He just...I don't know.  And Satsuki's just competitive."

	"You don't mind..." he began.

	"I am supposed to stay pure," she said.  "Kissing is 
fine, but no sex."  She blushed.  "Or at least, I'd think God 
would take away my powers if he wasn't happy with the 
kissing."

	He pulled her a little closer and laid back, looking up 
at the stars.  "I just don't want to rush things."  He looked 
over at Sara.  "Could you...back home?"

	"Yes," Sara said.  "Though I wasn't nearly this 
powerful."  She looked thoughtful.  "I have to wonder if 
we'll keep these abilities or not."

	"Traditionally, you lose them, but those of us who had 
powers before might keep some of them, I think," he said.  
"I just hope I level up enough to do something flashy 
before we have to go back."  He sighed.  "Probably vain of 
me."

	She kissed his cheek, imagining things she knew she 
shouldn't.  They reminded her too much of the weird 
dreams and she told herself to stop.  This would be enough.  
She didn't really know how to...do anything too sexy, 
anyway.  "You're not vain.  You're very modest, really, 
which is one reason I like you."

	"And you are kind and gentle," he said.  Except for 
those occasional fits of mania, like with the sandwich.  She 
smiled at that.  "Which is one reason I like you."  Sara had 
magical powers, but she was mostly a traditionally 
feminine girl and he liked that.

	They smiled at each other, and kissed and might have 
done more, but Suga began crowing from a tree, "Go!  Go!  
Further!"

	This left them little choice but to clobber him instead.

**************
	
	
	They arrived back at the city without any further 
disaster and went to see the Archmagus without delay.  He 
put aside his experiment with sheep bladders and said, 
"Ahh, very good, you got the belt."

	"It's stuck on me!" Lord Harima said.  "Which 
wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so butt-ugly."

	"I want a cure!" Otoko-Eri said.

	"Yeah," Onna-Harima said.  "PLEASE."

	"Well, now that I have the belt, I should be able to 
amplify its abilities to cure you all," he said, then paused.  
"None of you had sex, right?"

	"I had sex," Sagano said.  "But not right now."  She 
still looked depressed.

	Fuyuki sighed.

	"Lots of people had non-relevant sex," Akira said.  
"But despite their efforts to make a bigger mess, none of 
those who changed gender had sex."

	"Good.  It would have actually been bad for you.  
Anyway, you three come forwards."

	Yakumo gave a small sigh of relief that she'd never 
mustered the courage to do anything.

	They came forwards, but Otoko-Eri felt nervous.  If he 
screwed that up, maybe he'd screw this up too.

	Lord Harima and Onna-Harima would have been 
terrified by this concept, if either had been smart enough to 
think of that.  Thankfully, their invincible wall of not-
thinking protected them from fear.

	Tenma squeezed Yakumo's hand gently.  "Your 
boyfriend will be back to normal soon," she whispered.

	Yakumo hoped so, desperately.

	The Archimagus pulled out his staff and tapped the 
belt, chanting softly.  There was a loud chime and then it 
began to glow purple.  The energy grew brighter and 
brighter, surging about, contained by yellow rays from the 
staff.  Lord Harima now felt fear as he stared at it, but 
forced himself not to show it, as women were watching and 
he had to be cool.

	Sorceress Eri had a bad feeling and began looking for 
the exits.

	Akira grabbed Nara and dragged him under a table 
from instinct.

	Sara gripped Asou's hand tightly and began to pray.

	Satsuki felt a baaaaad feeling in her gut.

	Tenma smiled confidently.  This much power must do 
the trick, right?

	And then the energy surged wildly, erupting over 
everyone in the room as the belt burned to ash.

	When the smoke cleared, everyone had changed 
gender except for the Archmagus and Lord Harima, who 
found himself still a boy.  This put Eri and Harima back to 
normal, along with Lord Harima and the Archimagus, but 
now everyone else in the room was the wrong gender.

	"Holy shit," Onna-Suga said, looking down her own 
shirt.

	"Even...Even Imadori couldn't screw things up this 
badly," Otoko-Lala said, his fists clenching.  "EVEN 
IMADORI WOULD NOT HAVE ENOUGH SHAME TO 
DO THIS!"  If Otoko-Karin hadn't restrained her, she 
would likely have killed the Archmagus.

	Harima stared at himself.  Is this me?  He felt entirely 
weird, his balance all off, all...strange.

	Eri stared at herself, her mind in turmoil, her body 
feeling bizarre.  It seemed strangely alien.

	Otoko-Tenma looked over at Onna-Karasuma, who 
now reminded her of a shrine maiden, so calm and peaceful 
and demure.  Kawaii, she thought.

	Otoko-Akira looked at Onna-Nara, who was cuddled 
up to him under the table.  He suddenly felt intensely 
nervous, and wondered if she could see him trembling.  It 
wasn't arousal so much as a feeling of fear.  He had enough 
trouble believing he could really love her without turning 
into a boy.  

	He tried to read Onna-Nara's face, but it was...fear?  
Excitement?  Shock?  She reached up and touched Otoko-
Akira's face, laughing nervously.  "You look much better as 
a guy than I do," she said, her hand trembling against 
Otoko-Akira's face.

	"You're very pretty," he mumbled back.  Though he 
wondered how exactly the magic had given Onna-Nara a 
nice perm.

	Cannot let Imadori EVER learn this happened, Fuyuki 
thought.  Must get pictures to embarrass people with.

	Otoko-Yakumo looked around and suddenly realized 
he couldn't read any thoughts.  This was like suddenly 
going blind, especially now that his powers had gotten 
stronger.  He felt suddenly adrift.

	Otoko-Yuuki tried to figure out the weird feelings he 
was getting from looking at all the suddenly female men.  

	Onna-Tani-sensei had a feeling tonight was going to 
be very strange.

	The Archmagus waved his hands.  "Don't worry, don't 
worry, you will all be back to normal in the morning.  This 
is merely a mild magical backlash, which all wear off by 
the next sunrise."

	"You SURE of that?" Onna-Asou demanded.  Being 
suddenly shorter was very disorienting, though not as 
disorienting as looking at her suddenly bishonen boyfriend 
and getting weird feelings all over.

	"I am very sure of it.  Enjoy the chance to see a new 
perspective," the Archmagus said.

	"What I'm going to enjoy is rearranging your FACE!" 
Lala shouted as she struggled in Karin's arms.

	"Anyone who hits me will find the effect to be 
permanent," the Archmagus lied, looking over at Sorceror 
Otoko-Eri and Warlock Yakumo, mentally commanding 
them to back him up.

	"He's lying," Sorceror Otoko-Eri said, angry about 
being turned into a guy.  "Let's kick his ass."

	The beating of the Archmagus would become a legend 
for generations to come.  

	Once he had been thoroughly beaten, Sorceror Otoko-
Eri guided Eri through a magical analysis of everyone.  
Sorceror Otoko-Eri listened to the information, which Eri 
found incomprehensible, then frowned and said, "It'll wear 
off at dawn; standard magical backlash."

	Eri wondered why Sorceror Otoko-Eri was frowning 
when the news sounded good.

	"So we have a blank check for going crazy for one 
night?" Otoko-Sagano asked.

	"YOU don't," Onna-Fuyuki said, folding her arms 
under her breasts, which were not half as impressive as 
she'd hoped.  I mean, if you have to be turned into a 
woman, at least you could be a busty one, right?  "Unless 
you want to forget about me entirely."

	Otoko-Sagano staggered.  "But honey..."

	Onna-Fuyuki dragged Otoko-Sagano off by the ear.  

	Otoko-Yakumo drifted over to Harima extremely 
nervously.  Will he like how I look, she wondered.  Will he 
just see me as one of the guys?  I mean, it's only for a night, 
but...

	Eri and Harima were watching everyone react to their 
new condition and half-looking at each other.  They both 
looked extremely nervous and rather confused to Otoko-
Yakumo.  Eri looked rather cute when confused, really.  

	Otoko-Yakumo drifted up to Harima.  "Umm, Kenji-
kun..."

	Harima half-jumped out of his skin, then landed 
smoothly several feet away.  "Who the hell...oh, Yakumo-
san."  He laughed nervously.

	Eri looked at Otoko-Yakumo and her eyes widened a 
moment.  He was a really good looking guy.  Getting this 
reaction to him so soon after turning back was reassuring to 
her, but as she looked around, she could still see a lot more 
attractiveness in the new women than she would have 
expected.

	Lord Harima looked around at everyone and said, "It's 
gonna be crazy tonight."

	"Not for me," Eri mumbled.  "I'm gonna find a bed 
and hide under it."

	"Me too," Harima mumbled, staring at the floor.

	"I...we..." Otoko-Yakumo began.

	"Tomorrow, when we're both back to normal," Harima 
said.  "I can't...I just need to sleep."

	Eri nodded.

	Otoko-Yakumo felt disappointed, but given how odd 
he felt at the moment, he could understand.  

****************	

	"Why are you pounding on the door to our room?" 
Onna-Asou asked Otoko-Satsuki as she walked up to the 
door to head in and get ready for bed.  She had Otoko-Sara 
with her.  

	"Dammit, I tried to give her a kiss goodnight and she 
ran off in a panic like I was some kind of monster and now 
I can hear her fondling herself like a complete pervert!"  
Otoko-Satsuki said, sounding cranky.

	Onna-Asou cringed.  Suga, you idiot, she thought.  
She opened the door, stuck her head in, turned red, and 
pulled it out, hands over her eyes.  "I think I've gone blind."

	"I am SO gonna kick her ass when we're back to 
normal," Otoko-Satsuki said.  "You don't see me 
experimenting on myself, even though I am pretty good 
looking like this and I have to admit I'm curious."  His 
hands on his hips vibrated slightly.  "And I talk too much."

	This is going to be a mess, Otoko-Sara thought.  "I 
think I'm going to go to the chapel and pray for a little 
before bed."

	"I'll go with you," Onna-Asou said hastily.

	"I'm giving up on pervert-lass," Otoko-Satsuki.  "I 
might as well just..."

	"It's better we not know," Onna-Asou said.  "We'll see 
you tomorrow."

	"Okay!  I'll make sure to air the room out," Otoko-
Satsuki said, running off.

	"..." Otoko-Sara said.

	"..."  Onna-Asou said.

	"We're both...mostly normal, right?" Onna-Asou said.  
As normal as he could be when he had been turned into a 
woman for a night.

	"Yes," Otoko-Sara said, taking her hand firmly.  "Let's 
go pray and..."

	"Where are we going to sleep?  If they're both..."

	Otoko-Sara wrinkled up his face.  "Well, Fuyuki-
sempai is feuding with Sagano-sempai, so maybe..."

	"They're both perverted enough to get into this," 
Onna-Asou said, trying to ignore the conflicting signals of 
her own body, part of which said 'nice holding hands with 
boyfriend' and the rest of which said 'holding hands with a 
guy = mega-gay, RUN'.  She tried to ignore both, 
reminding herself that Sara was really her girlfriend and 
she was really a he.

	"Let's pray.  God may send us a sign," Otoko-Sara 
said.

	Or let us collapse on the floor of his chapel, still more 
restful than sleeping with crazy people, Onna-Asou 
thought.

**********

	"Come on, let's try it," Otoko-Sagano said to Onna-
Fuyuki, who was sitting in a nice plush chair looking 
gloomy, while he sat shirtless on the bed.

	"Doesn't this freak you out?" Onna-Fuyuki asked.  "I 
feel completely bizarre," she said.  "I can't just...I don't like 
guys like that, whatever my body is trying to tell me right 
now."

	"Well," Otoko-Sagano said, "I think I'm more flexible 
than most people when I'm a girl, really.  In everything, not 
just sex."  He ran a hand up and down his chest.  "I do miss 
my breasts, though.  They're not huge, but all that working 
out, my body's in better shape than ever before."

	"Yeah, I have to admit your girl body looks great 
naked," Onna-Fuyuki said.  "But I can't just...I mean...you 
don't even grasp why I have a problem, do you?"

	Otoko-Sagano felt a sudden stab of nervousness.  Not 
another fight.  This relationship was supposed to be fun, not 
conflict.  Why do I keep end up having trouble with him?  
He's a nice guy...I'm a nice person, aren't I?  "I...I mean, I 
sort of understand.  I'm just...Don't you like that I'm not 
afraid to try new things?"

	"Yeah, I do like it," she said.  "But I have my limits."  
She shrank a bit into the chair, told herself not to stare at 
the nice chest muscles Otoko-Sagano had.  "I'd just end up 
confused later and it just...I can't go that far."

	Otoko-Sagano folded in on himself and started to cry.  
He hadn't meant to; he knew he was overreacting, but he 
felt all messed up and confused and rejected.

	Onna-Fuyuki sighed and came over, fighting 
conflicting instincts.  "Hey, I'm still your boyfriend.  I'm 
not gonna dump you.  I just can't do this."

	She held his hand, having to fight urges to both drop it 
and to go further, until he calmed down.  "I'm sorry," he 
said softly.

	She sighed.  "You meant well," she said softly.  
"Maybe we should..."

	"Don't leave me," he breathed.  "I don't want to drive 
more people away."

	She suddenly wondered what he meant, but this wasn't 
the time to pry.  "I won't leave you," she said softly.

	They both fell asleep lying against each other.

***************

	Martial Artist Onna-Hanai and Otoko-Karin pinned a 
still raging Otoko-Lala to the bed.  "It's too late to kill, 
dear," MA Onna-Hanai said.

	"NEVER TOO LATE TO KILL," Otoko-Lala raged.

	Otoko-Karin said, "We'll hold you all night if we have 
to."

	"YAOI," MA Onna-Hanai said, hearts in her eyes.  

	Otoko-Lala and Otoko-Karin FROZE like statues.

	What am I THINKING?, Onna-Hanai thought.  She 
tried to regain her dignity.  "Just a joke to calm Lala-chan 
down."

	"Dammit, dammit, dammit," Otoko-Lala said, sitting 
up, feeling calmer, if still angry.  "Stupid Sawachika, stupid 
spell, stupid Archmagus..."

	"At least your boyfriend is here with you," Otoko-
Karin mumbled.

	"And my boyfriend is a girl, so when I most need him, 
he can't help me," Otoko-Lala grumbled.

	"Well, you could..." Otoko-Karin said then turned red.

	Otoko-Lala and MA Onna-Hanai nosebled in unison 
and passed out.

	I wish...well, I don't wish Imadori was here, I wish I 
was with him, and a woman, Otoko-Karin thought.  At least 
she could dream of him.

****************
	
	Kozue cracked the whip.  "Faster, kiddies!"

	The hapless elementary school kids tried desperately 
to shell pecans faster as she marched up and down the line.  
"We're working as fast as you can."

	"We need MORE to defeat Imadori," Kozue said.  "He 
must be defeated for looking at other women!!!!"

	"But we don't even know Imadori," one child said, 
exhausted.

	"Your sacrifices will resound for the glory of Japan!"  
Whip crack.  "NOW CRACK THOSE NUTS FOR GREAT 
JUSTICE!!!!!"

***********
	    
	Otoko-Akira had never been so nervous in his entire 
existence as when he closed the door to his and Onna-
Nara's bedroom.  He wasn't sure at all what he was going to 
do.  He felt so utterly strange, and part of him wanted 
to...and the rest thought that was either freaky or just very 
foolish.  

	He also felt vaguely jealous that Onna-Nara had 
bigger breasts than he did as a woman, about on a par with 
Eri's usual size.  And her hair looked lovely and her face 
and...she even moved more femininely.  He couldn't decide 
if this was freaky or something to envy.  There was this 
sexiness to how she moved; he'd come to view boy-Nara's 
movements as sexy, but he knew that was because of his 
feelings for boy-Nara.  But this...he was sure anyone would 
see this as sexy.  Knowing how he felt, he was glad he'd 
managed to keep her away from all the people who were no 
doubt going crazy from the sudden hormone shift and 
enhanced male sex drive.  If Sagano wasn't doing Fuyuki, it 
was only due to Fuyuki thinking it too gay, he knew that 
for sure.

	Onna-Nara was in her blue silk pajamas, male cut, so 
not hugely sexy on a woman; also a little too large; female-
Nara was down to Tenma size, in terms of height, not that 
Nara was much taller normally.  She was standing in front 
of a mirror, staring at herself.

	His own body was lean and lanky, wiry and powerful, 
stronger than his girl body, but not so impressive, in his 
opinion, to look at.  It suddenly struck him that her father 
had probably looked like this.

	He rushed over to the mirror to study himself, trying 
to memorize every inch of it; all she had of her father was a 
few blurry pictures; he'd usually been the photographer and 
had rarely shown up in them.

	The resemblance hit him like a hammer; he stumbled, 
looking at himself.  He had to fight the urge to cry, and 
wondered what his father would make of this, wishing he'd 
known the man at all.  But he was dead and gone and...

	"I look so much like Mom," Onna-Nara mumbled.  
"You must swear to never tell her about this."

	"I swear," he said, suddenly embracing her tightly 
from behind.  He heard her gasp, then realize it was 
because he'd just crushed the air out of her chest.  "I think I 
look like my father," Otoko-Akira said, fighting the urge to 
cry.  Boys weren't supposed to cry.

	"He died, right?"

	"When I was little.  I can't...talk about it," Otoko-Akira 
said.

	"You don't have to; I won't pry," Onna-Nara said.

	"You're too good to me; I'm so bossy," Otoko-Akira 
said mournfully.

	"I need someone to keep my foolish ideas in check, 
really," Onna-Nara said ruefully, leaning back against 
Akira.  She could almost forget her usual girlfriend was her 
boyfriend right now.  

	"We...we can do whatever you like tonight," Otoko-
Akira said softly.  "Pick your fantasy and..."  It then hit him 
that he was a man and Onna-Nara was a woman and given 
neither had enough time to go insane, there was no way 
Nara would want to do anything sexy with him tonight, 
even though he desperately wanted some loving.  Thinking 
about his father...he'd opened one of his emotional scabs, 
one of the few that rarely got picked open.  Normally, he 
could hide any of the pain, but not when he was with Nara 
and...  "Dammit, I forgot I was a guy."

	"You're a nice looking guy," Onna-Nara said.  "I can 
see why your mom would go for a guy like that."

	"I...you can?" Otoko-Akira asked, staring intently into 
the mirror; he didn't like guys that looked so gaunt and 
intense as he did.  

	"Yeah," Onna-Nara said.  "You've got that cool bad-
ass look to you.  The hero look."  Her voice was light, 
enthusiastic.  "I know I'm safe here with you holding me."

	Otoko-Akira felt his heart catch in his throat.  "You 
will always be safe with me, Kentarou-kun," he said 
fiercely.  "Always.  I won't let you die."  He wanted to cry, 
but he wouldn't.  He couldn't.  You couldn't show tears, 
show weakness; the world had too many sharks.

	"I know you won't," Onna-Nara said softly.  "I trust 
you to protect me.  Just...don't be afraid to show how you 
really feel with me.  I will protect your feelings as you 
protect my body.  Please, let me," she said, her voice 
trembling.  "I'm here for you.  Let me in."

	He began to cry; he hated to cry in public, hated to do 
anything that could just cause him more pain.  You 
couldn't, shouldn't show weakness.  Not in her line of work.  
You had to be strong.  But he couldn't be strong, not all the 
time.

	"Dammit, he shouldn't have died...he shouldn't have 
died, Why did he have to die?"  It was all coming apart, all 
his defenses that held in the emotions, all of it rising up, 
made worse by the unfamiliar hormones, the magic, and his 
fear, his not knowing what to do when he wanted Onna-
Nara so much, but he couldn't, they shouldn't, it could only 
lead to trouble.

	"I'm sure he watches over you from Heaven," Onna-
Nara said soothingly.

	"I wish I could believe in such a thing," Otoko-Akira 
said bitterly.  "But there's only us.  This life is all we have, 
all we can be sure of.  And yet we all stab and snipe at each 
other," he said bitterly.  "People hurt each other for no 
reason at all.  _I_ hurt people for no reason at all, to keep 
them away, so I don't get too close to them and risk getting 
hurt.  The things I've done to Hanai..."  He sobbed into her 
shoulder, crushing her with his embrace.

	Onna-Nara grunted a bit at the pain, but she could take 
it.  It would remind her she was a man, right?  She was 
rather annoyed with how harshly Akira treated Hanai-san, 
but this wasn't the time to mention it.  Was it?  "At least 
you don't cower and hide to avoid being hurt like I do.  You 
do things, instead of waiting for them to happen if you just 
lurk in the right place."

	"Don't say that," Otoko-Akira said.  "You do 
wonderful things that make me feel like a real human being 
instead of a shadow.  I don't need some macho idiot who 
will get himself killed like my father did, leaving us behind 
to cry."  He was so angry with the idiot.  Why did he have 
to sacrifice himself?  There had to have been a better way.  
"I want YOU," he said fiercely.  His embrace tightened 
again.  "I can, I will, I WILL protect you.  Just stay with 
me."

	"I won't leave you," Onna-Nara said, then turned in 
the embrace and leaned up and kissed Otoko-Akira on the 
lips without thinking about it.  Their tongues probed inside 
each other's mouth and Otoko-Akira felt a massive wave of 
excitement.  He wanted his lover, wanted her NOW.  Onna-
Nara began to fumble at his belt, and that brought him back 
some sense of reality.  They were the wrong genders...how 
could he...would she....surely she would think they'd done 
something freaky when she was back to normal.  Maybe 
he'd think it too.  What if he...could he risk she'd leave him 
over this?  And he had...he'd danced towards it, but he still 
couldn't stand to...he had to be honest.

	"Kentarou-kun, I love you, but...is this wise?  Will 
you...won't this make us both feel perverted in the 
morning?" Otoko-Akira asked.  "I don't want to hurt boy-
you."

	"I know my own feelings!" she suddenly burst out 
hotly.  

	Otoko-Akira jumped in surprise, losing his grip on 
Onna-Nara, who now grabbed him, pressing him towards 
the bed.  "I'm not made of glass and you can't break me."  
She seized Otoko-Akira's shirt and dug her fingers into the 
cloth, then ripped it open with one yank, buttons flying 
everywhere.  She pushed him onto the bed, his butt 
bouncing slightly as he hit it, then ran her fingers up and 
down his chest as he moaned softly at the touch.  

	"Maybe I'll regret this later.  But I don't care, because I 
love you and I need you and I want you right now and you 
feel the same, don't you?"  Her voice was aflame with 
passion, far louder than she ever got as a boy.  

	"Yes," he said, fumbling at the buttons of her top even 
as she nimbly pulled his belt off and undid the top of his 
pants.  "I love you, Kentarou," he said, moaning softly as 
his body grew excited.  "I'm just afraid..."

	"Don't be afraid," she said with a voice of authority, 
before which he had no choice but to flee or to surrender.  
"I'm not afraid when I have you to protect me in a fight.  
And you need not be afraid when I am touching your heart, 
for I will never hurt you, ever.  Trust me."  There was an 
absolute confidence, the tone he always tried to convey, in 
her voice.  He wondered if it was as fake as his sometimes 
was, or as sincere as he could be at others.  

	All he could do now was to run away from love or 
surrender to it, to accept this moment and embrace it or flee 
screaming into the night and succumb to fear.  He hated 
fear and loved Nara and he reached down and undid his 
pants, even as Onna-Nara yanked her own shirt off, more 
buttons flying.  He didn't know what to do for sure; his 
instincts screamed things at him and his memories of Nara's 
lovemaking in normal times tried to help him and all he 
could do was to fumble along, trembling with passion.  

	Finally, his conscious mind broke, and as he did in 
battle, he let his instincts and his memories guide him in his 
actions.  So far as he could tell from Onna-Nara's reactions, 
he did quite well, until finally, they both collapsed of 
physical and emotional exhaustion.

	"We won't regret this in the morning, will we?" he 
whispered.

	"I will NEVER regret this," Onna-Nara whispered, 
kissing him and then they both passed out, though Otoko-
Akira couldn't be so sure.

*****************
	
	"Where's Yuri-san?" Onna-Tani asked Otoko-Tae, 
worried.

	"Hiding, I think.  It kind of freaked him out," Otoko-
Tae said.  "It is kind of strange."

	Onna-Tani thought about it, then went down to the 
garden with Otoko-Tae, and quickly found Otoko-Yuri 
sitting on the ground with his back to a fountain.  "I thought 
so," she said.

	Otoko-Yuri started.  "Hey," he said.  "How did you 
find me?"

	"You always liked to find something with running 
water nearby, when you wanted to think," Onna-Tani-
sensei said, sitting down next to him; Otoko-Tae flanked 
him on the other side.

	"I feel so weird," Otoko-Yuri mumbled.

	"It'll be fine," Otoko-Tae said, putting an arm around 
him.  Onna-Tani did the same.

	"I just...I feel so...my thing..."  Otoko-Yuri mumbled 
and stared at the ground.

	"That's because we have sex most evenings and that's 
how your new body tells you it's ready to go," Otoko-Tae 
said.  "Right, Tanisa?"

	Onna-Tani laughed nervously.  "Yes."

	"Don't worry, it'll be a learning experience for all of 
us," Otoko-Tae said softly.  "But Tanisa can tell us if we 
screw up."

	"I...we..."  Onna-Tani laughed nervously, feeling 
weird sensations all over.  

	Otoko-Tae purred.  "I think it's only fair you take your 
turn on bottom, dear."

	"Wait, I..."  Otoko-Yuri's eyes crossed and he felt 
more excited.  "I...I am kind of curious what it feels like.  
And I do like women," he said, a little more confidently.  
His panic seemed to be fading, and now he turned to a very 
nervous Onna-Tani.  "Your hair needs a lot of work, but 
you're very pretty otherwise."

	"That hairstyle doesn't work on a woman, whatever, 
Satsuki might think," Otoko-Tae said.  "It's not worth 
fiddling with if we'll be back to normal in the morning."

	Onna-Tani felt her heart beat faster as Otoko-Yuri 
loomed over her.  He wasn't tremendously pretty, but he 
was strong and she could feel her body giving off signals, 
while her mind spun.  She'd never even thought about 
doing this with a guy when she was a guy, but then, her 
body had other ideas and it was hard to think with this nice, 
strong guy holding her and...  "I don't know if I can do 
this."

	"I wouldn't have thought I could do it with a woman," 
Otoko-Yuri said.  "But I found it was very nice."  He 
smiled confidently at Onna-Tani, who found his shift of 
mood surprising.  "You'll try it this once, won't you?  We 
won't ask you to do it again if you don't enjoy it."

	She wasn't sure this was wise, but really, she was 
normally living out an impossible fantasy with them the 
last few weeks and the only decent thing would be to give 
them a chance to change her mind.  Even if it scared her 
and made her nervous.  But she owed them a chance, right?

	"Alright," she whispered.

	"Then let's get a room," Otoko-Tae said, rising.  "No 
point in risking being found."

	"That might not be so bad," Otoko-Yuri said, grinning.  
"I feel so...do men always feel this confident?"

	"It's the testosterone, I think," Onna-Tani said.

	"I like it," Otoko-Yuri said.  "I don't like being so 
nervous all the time."  He stretched.  "Let's go."

************
	
	"Yuuki-san?" Otoko-Yakumo asked nervously.  "Do 
you mind if I sleep with you tonight?"

	Smoke came out of Otoko-Yuuki's ears.  "You want 
to...with me?"

	"My sister is with her boyfriend and Kenji-kun wants 
to be alone tonight, and Sara-san is with her boyfriend and I 
just thought you might want some company," Otoko-
Yakumo said.

	Images of a roughly billion pages of yaoi manga he'd 
read flooded Yuuki's mind.  His eyes crossed as he realized 
he could live those fantasies.  Do I look that good looking 
or is Yakumo-san just desperate to get some, he wondered.  
"I...come in," he said, not sure of what he wanted.

	Otoko-Yakumo stretched as he came in, then stumbled 
into Otoko-Yuuki, knocking them both to the floor.  Otoko-
Yuuki froze up with Otoko-Yakumo tangled with him, 
feeling his entire body suddenly go crazy at the closeness 
of a man to him.  Otoko-Yuuki turned red.

	Then Otoko-Yakumo lunged forwards, face coming 
for Otoko-Yuuki, who stared as their lips collided.

	The world froze; Otoko-Yuuki could feel time itself 
standing still.  For eternity, he contemplated his options, 
then decided 'what the hell' and kissed back, wrapping his 
arms around Otoko-Yakumo, who did not resist.

	It quickly became apparent, however, that Otoko-
Yakumo wasn't resisting because somehow he was asleep.

	The banging of Otoko-Yuuki's head against the floor 
echoed through the empty hallway.

	There was a running of feet and then Otoko-Tenma 
came charging into the room with Onna-Karasuma on his 
heels.  "Is everyone..."

	He saw Otoko-Yakumo sprawled on top of Otoko-
Yuuki; from that angle, it looked like he was kissing 
Otoko-Yuuki's neck, while Otoko-Yuuki was flailing in 
some kind of ecstasy.

	Otoko-Tenma nosebled and fainted, falling back onto 
Onna-Karasuma, who was knocked to the floor; she banged 
her head and passed out.

	Otoko-Mikoto, clad only in a long shirt, now came 
running up, with Onna-Hanai chasing him, still wearing a 
full outfit, though the shirt was half-unbuttoned.  "Dammit, 
how can anyone run with breasts?" she complained as her 
chest flopped around.  She quickly buttoned her shirt.

	Otoko-Mikoto stared at the situation.  "The hell?"

	"..."

	Otoko-Yakumo woke up blearily, assumed he was 
lying on Harima in his confusion, and kissed Otoko-Yuuki 
just as Onna-Asou and Otoko-Sara sprinted up.  

	Otoko-Yuuki made a noise comparable to a monkey 
which had finally snapped.

	Onna-Hanai's brain simply blew out and she fainted 
into Otoko-Mikoto's arms.  

	"Yak..."  Otoko-Sara paused, jaws wide open.  Onna-
Asou just stared.

	More people began to run up, even as time froze once 
more.  Harima and Eri ran up among them and stared.

	Otoko-Yuuki mumbled, "Make up your mind," 
breaking the frozenness.  

	"And people thought I was bad," Eri mumbled.

	Otoko-Yakumo stared at everyone staring at him, then 
stared at Otoko-Yuuki, then promptly picked up Otoko-
Yuuki in a panic and leaped out the window.

	"Yakumo-san, what are you doing?" Harima shouted, 
running to the window.

	"I'm dreaming, right?" Otoko-Mikoto said.  
"Dreaming, as in, not real.  Right?  Right????"

	"I'm sure she's as innocent as none of you would ever 
believe I was," Eri said, surprising herself.  But she felt a 
surge of sympathy for Yakumo.  No one ever gives the guy 
any credit, she thought.  

	"He kissed Yuuki..." Harima said in a daze.

	"I'm sure it's an accident," Eri said again.  "There's 
some good, logical explanation."

	"Well, umm...I still like guys," Otoko-Mikoto said.  
"So I suppose if Haruki-kun was still a guy, I'd kiss him 
and..."

	"Hmm, that makes sense," Eri said, kneeling by 
Otoko-Tenma.  "Wake up, Tenma-chan."

	"Sister is yaoiboy now...world burning...all is 
chaos...humanity burns..." Otoko-Tenma mumbled.

	Harima didn't know what to do.  He didn't want to 
know.  Part of him...no.  No thought.  Sleep and the world 
would be normal tomorrow.  "I'm going to bed," he 
mumbled.

	"Aren't you going to..." Mikoto began.

	"Sleep," he said.  "I know how crazy they feel."

	"So you don't mind your girlfriend kissing another guy 
and going off to make out with him?" Otoko-Mikoto asked, 
surprised.

	Put that way, he couldn't tolerate this.  

	"The 'girlfriend' Tenma pushed on him," Eri said.  
"Anyway, I'm sure this is all just some misunderstanding."

	"I can't let Yuuki steal my girlfriend," Harima said 
firmly.  "Cute as she is.  Even if they're both men right 
now."

	"Hmm, so technically, he's now your boyfriend," 
Onna-Hanai mused, having recovered.

	"DON'T MAKE ME THINK!  I CAN'T TAKE ANY 
MORE THINKING!"  And then Harima jumped out the 
window.

	"Dammit, come back here!" Eri said and leaped after 
him.

	They landed in the garden; Harima's keen senses and a 
quick question to a passing squirrel put them on the trail.  
As they drew closer, they could hear quiet talking on the 
other side of a bower.

	With unspoken agreement, the two of them slowed 
down and crept forward around opposite sides of it.

	"I'm just so...this is so utterly fucked up," Otoko-
Yuuki said.
	
	They heard Otoko-Yakumo gasp.

	"Don't tell me you've never heard someone curse," 
Otoko-Yuuki said.  "It's like kami-sama hates me and wants 
me to suffer."  His voice was doleful.

	"I just...I shouldn't, but I mean, I do like guys and I 
know you like guys and I shouldn't...oh fuck it.  I'm sorry, I 
shouldn't ask you when I know you like Harima and this 
would just screw things up for you.  No one wants me, 
anyway."  They could hear Otoko-Yuuki continuing to 
complain.

	And then there was silence.

	Harima and Eri poked their heads around and saw 
Otoko-Yakumo kissing Otoko-Yuuki softly on the lips, 
trembling.  "You'll find someone," Otoko-Yakumo said 
softly.  He had a look of compassion on his face.  

	Eri's jaw dropped.

	Harima stared like he'd wandered onto another planet.  
He could almost hear his girl voice saying to him 'Damn, 
why didn't she kiss me like that?'  	

	"But not you," Otoko-Yuuki mumbled.

	"I have a boyfriend, even...well, I'll be a girl again 
tomorrow," Otoko-Yakumo said.  "I'm very sorry for the 
misunderstanding; I pass out easily."

	Harima could feel something gnawing at him; the two 
of them were seated in the bower, very close, so close to 
each other.  He didn't want someone so close to his 
girlfriend like that.  Unless it was him.

	I wonder if I was bolder as a boy, Eri thought.  It 
didn't seem so to her, but she was bolder than most people 
normally.  It might be hard to tell.  

	"I'm gonna need to sleep alone tonight," Otoko-Yuuki 
mumbled, staring at the ground.

	"I'll find an empty room," Otoko-Yakumo said, 
standing up.  "Will you...be okay?"

	"Fine," Otoko-Yuuki said, continuing to stare.  

	Harima relaxed, then realized he was getting jumpy 
over a guy and a guy and...but the guy was really a girl and 
it wasn't gay of him any more than how he'd liked kissed 
Otoko-Eri and...

	His brain now gave him a flashback, then proceded to 
melt down and he fell over.

	As he started to leave, Otoko-Yakumo found him.  
"Kenji-kun?"

	He did not answer, and Otoko-Yakumo sighed, 
picking him up.  "Let me get you to bed, Kenji-kun."

	Eri snuck back around.  "There he is.  I'll take him to 
his room."

	"I'm his girlfriend," Otoko-Yakumo said.

	Eri poked his chest.  "Not right now."

	To her surprise, Otoko-Yakumo stood his ground.  
"Didn't you go on saying you were a girl, when you were a 
boy?  Except when you were stealing kisses from me, 
anyway."  He stepped towards Eri, who backed up.

	"I couldn't think straight!" Eri said.

	"Maybe I can't think straight either," Otoko-Yakumo 
said, taking another step towards her.

	Part of her wanted to flee, but instead, she stepped 
towards Otoko-Yakumo.  "You can't bluff me.  I know you 
won't kiss me."  She folded her arms across her chest.  
"You're not as brave as I am."

	"Is that an invitation?" Otoko-Yakumo asked softly.  

	This behavior was all so un-Yakumo-like that Eri felt 
her nerves jangling more.  Surely he would back down.  
Yakumo wouldn't really kiss me, she thought.  He can't 
have gone all boy on me so fast, right?  This is a bluff to 
make me go away.  "I defy you to kiss me," she said.

	"Here I come."  And then their lips met.

	Eri was so shocked, she fell over, fainting.

	A few seconds later, Otoko-Yakumo began to tremble.  
I can't believe I did that, he thought.  I stood up to her, but 
I...she...  And it had been rather pleasant and...

	He ran off in a panic, not knowing what else to do.

***************
	
	"I'm sure they're fine," Otoko-Mikoto said to Otoko-
Tenma.  

	"Shouldn't we..."

	"We shouldn't butt in," Otoko-Mikoto said firmly.

	"I feel so weird," Otoko-Tenma said.

	"Well, at least you don't look much different," Otoko-
Mikoto said.  "I can hardly recognize myself."

	"You do look like your dad after a few years of 
dieting," Onna-Hanai said.

	*CLONG*  

	"I said, AFTER!" Onna-Hanai said, getting back up.

	Otoko-Mikoto grumbled.  "I'm not making cracks 
about you looking like your Mom."  

	"Looking like Mom's not bad, really," Onna-Hanai 
said.  "She's in very good shape for her age, still looks 
pretty good."

	I wonder if I look like Dad, Otoko-Tenma thought.  I'll 
have to check.  

	"Anyway, we're going to bed, you should too," Onna-
Hanai said.

	"Goodnight," Otoko-Tenma said, heading off.

	They began heading back to their room.  

	On the way, however, they encountered Otoko-
Yakumo, hurrying along in a panic with Harima over one 
shoulder.

	"What happened?" Otoko-Mikoto asked, worried.  

	Onna-Hanai felt her heart speed up as she looked at 
him.  It was a jolt, like something had fallen onto her from 
the blue sky, into her.  So cute, she thought.  Good looking 
both ways.  No, no, I have to think of my 
boyfriend...girlfriend...whatever.  Though she had the 
feeling, he was thinking of just her right now, and...  She 
blushed and made herself stare at the wall to stop looking at 
Otoko-Yakumo.  

	Otoko-Yakumo saw Onna-Hanai getting embarrassed.  
Shoe's on the other foot, he thought, then told himself not 
to be harsh.  She was a very pretty woman and he liked the 
way she looked in boys' clothing, the way it clung to her, 
the way she moved so strongly...

	Before he realized what he was doing, he was drawing 
closer to Onna-Hanai, while his lips said to Otoko-Mikoto, 
"Kenji-kun passed out; I'm taking him to bed."

	Onna-Hanai could see something, something around 
Otoko-Yakumo's head...letters...words....'such a pretty 
woman', 'look at how her clothing clings to her...', 'she 
moves so strongly...'.  Suddenly, Onna-Hanai felt more 
self-conscious than she'd ever been in her whole life, 
shrinking back from Otoko-Yakumo.

	Feeling panicky, she looked over at Otoko-Mikoto; 
she could sense Otoko-Mikoto's feelings, could see him 
worrying about her and wondering what was wrong, his 
suspicion about Kenji, his appreciation of her breasts and...

	It was getting hard to breathe, and Otoko-Yakumo was 
drawing closer to her, and now Otoko-Mikoto said, 
"Haruki-kun, are you okay?"

	Otoko-Yakumo could feel his blood pumping faster, 
and it terrified and excited him at once.  Onna-Hanai read 
this in his mind and it scared her and excited her at once.  
She'd wanted Yakumo for so long, hadn't she?  But...no, 
I'm with Mikoto, he thought.  I have to forget about her.

	Closer, closer, closer...  She knew what he was 
wanting.  

	It was something Hanai had wanted of Yakumo for a 
long time.  

	But now, suddenly, it hit her, that this must be how 
Yakumo felt when his boy self hit on her.  She felt terrible 
as the realization sank in.  What felt like love to me, didn't 
come across that way to her.  It felt like...with the reading 
of minds...  She shuddered.  This had better go away once 
I'm back to normal, she thought.  

	"No, I'm not fine," she finally said.  "Yakumo, I'm 
sorry."

	Otoko-Yakumo froze in place.  "What?"

	"All those times I chased you...that I tried...it must 
have been horrible for you," Onna-Hanai said softly.

	"What?" Otoko-Mikoto said.

	Otoko-Yakumo's eyes widened.  "I...can you?"

	"I don't know what did it," she said softly.  "This must 
be such a burden for you."

	"Wait, are you..." Otoko-Mikoto began.

	It now sank into Otoko-Yakumo's mind as to what he 
was doing.  "I...I'm sorry!"  He ran off in a panic again with 
Harima.  

	"I don't get it," Otoko-Mikoto said.

	"Guys don't get the emotional stuff so well," Onna-
Hanai said sadly.  

	"I'm not a guy!  Well, okay, I'm sort of a guy right 
now, but you can't just...I mean, how would you even know 
the girl stuff suddenly?" Otoko-Mikoto asked.

	"It's magic, it makes its own rules," Onna-Hanai said.  
She closed her eyes.  "Now I understand why she always 
ran away from me.  It's so overwhelming and...well, you 
must know what it's like."

	"What what is like?  Reading minds?" Otoko-Mikoto 
asked.  I wish she'd stop being cryptic!  Why can't women 
just speak their mi...dammit.

	"I've been nothing but a burden on her.  No wonder 
Akira hates me so much."  She felt the urge to cry, but 
fought it.  It wasn't manly, and she had to cling to some 
vestige of manliness.

	Otoko-Mikoto frowned.  "Has she been ragging on 
you again?"

	"My love was nothing but a burden to her, a pressure 
on her mind, driving her away," Onna-Hanai said, voice 
full of pain.  "I couldn't handle seeing just a flash of male 
lust...I can't imagine what it was like for her, day in, day 
out, the pressure of my desires..."  She hugged herself.

	"Haruki, you were in love with her.  And you didn't 
even know she could feel your thoughts.  You were pretty 
crappy at taking a hint to stop, but..."

	"I was terrible," Onna-Hanai said, hugging herself 
harder.  

 	Now Otoko-Mikoto embraced her.  "Can you feel my 
thoughts?" he asked very hesitantly.  

	"Yes," Onna-Hanai mumbled.  "I hope this is just 
something, something temporary from the magic.  As I 
can't see how she stays sane with this.  It's too much."  She 
could feel the strength of Mikoto's love, feel the power of 
his compassion, his mighty arms wrapped around her.  It 
was comforting here, with him to feel what he felt, where it 
had been...

	I never really knew her at all, Onna-Hanai thought.  I 
just liked...all I knew was the outside of her.  Never thought 
about how what I feel might make her feel.  She felt 
terrible, like a monster.  

	She let herself cry now, and Otoko-Mikoto held her 
gently, making soothing noises; he didn't know what to say; 
she could feel it.  It was comforting and scary at once to 
know his heart so easily.  She could sense the sincerity of 
her feelings, and she felt guilty that her own weren't so...so 
pure.  She loved Mikoto, but part of her liked Lala too and 
then...Yakumo...

	Not Yakumo.  She could never let herself think of 
Yakumo that way again.  She owed Yakumo that much.  

	"Talk to me, Haruki-kun, I don't understand," Otoko-
Mikoto said, holding her almost desperately.

	"I looked at Yakumo and I felt this jolt, and then...I 
started feeling her thoughts," she said softly.  "His 
thoughts...whatever.  He's so...I think the normally buried 
lava is coming up."

	"Buried lava?"

	"Combined with the fact that this magic seems to send 
us into identity overdrive," Onna-Hanai said.  She grew 
calmer as she thought through what was going on.  "I feel 
pretty comfortable like this with you, even though I'd 
normally not want a guy to hug me like this."

	Otoko-Mikoto's eyes widened slightly.  "Wait, did you 
think...he was hitting on you?"

	"I could feel it, somehow."  She frowned.  "I don't 
know why it only triggered just now, though."

	Otoko-Mikoto sighed.  "Maybe we should consult one 
of the magi, just to be sure."

	"Yeah.  Witch...Warlock...the other Yakumo may 
know," Onna-Hanai said.

	"Let's go, then."

***************

	Eri peeled herself off the ground.  He kissed me.  HE 
KISSED ME.  But...

	It had to be the hormones.  She'd fought it for days and 
days, but Yakumo seemed to have succumbed very quickly.  
Probably due to a weak will.

	And now he was likely to get all YAOI all over 
Harima.

	Eri's eyes crossed at that, but she quickly snapped the 
trance.  That couldn't be allowed.  Only...where to find 
them?

	She ran towards the building, trying to figure that out.

****************

	Warlock Yakumo frowned slightly, then said, "There 
are several possibilities."

	"Go on?" Onna-Hanai asked.

	"Well, the most likely thing is that you would have 
had this talent if you had been born female.  You don't have 
any sisters, do you?" Warlock Yakumo asked.

	"No, no siblings," Onna-Hanai said.  

	"The fact that Yakumo triggered it was probably 
because of the intensity of the feelings of both of you.  Or 
possibly this is cosmic judgement, given your past 
treatment of her," Warlock Yakumo said, just a little 
harshly.

	Onna-Hanai cringed at that.  "I'm sorry."

	"I'm not the one needing an apology."

	"Haruki-kun did try to apologize," Otoko-Mikoto said 
quickly.

	"Good," Warlock Yakumo said.  "I will try and find 
her and talk to her; we understand each other."

	"Do you think..."

	"It should go away once you are back to normal," 
Warlock Yakumo said.

	"Good.  We'll go, then," Onna-Hanai said.  

	"Goodbye, then."

***************

	Otoko-Yakumo laid Harima down in a bed and tried to 
get a grip on himself.  His body felt so strange and kissing 
felt so nice and dammit, why couldn't Kenji be a girl right 
now?  As while he liked kissing guys, Kenji probably 
wouldn't feel the same way.  And kissing Eri had been nice 
but certainly didn't make up for it.

	This was intensely unfair.

	It didn't help that he felt like some floodgate inside 
him had been opened and all his feelings were coming out 
at once, more intensely than usual.  Guys always accused 
women of being too emotional, but he felt far more 
emotional as a guy than he had as a woman.

	Harima stirred.  "Urgh."

	"Kenji-kun, are you okay?"

	"I just had this flashback," he said.  "To kissing Eri 
and..."

	Part of him felt relieved that it knocked Harima out, 
probably from revulsion.  But the rest of him remained 
worried.  "That knocked you out?"

	"Yeah, it was so..."  He shivered.  "I think about what 
girl-me did and it just feels...Let's talk about football."

	Football?  "Umm, it's not football season is it?" he 
asked.  Oh wait, no, the school had been playing soccer...

	"What, you forgot our school team's big recent 
game?," Harima asked.  "Where you cheerleaded in the 
spirit contest and everything?"

	Yeah, he remembered that now; it had been a lot of 
fun.  He didn't want to talk about Football, though.  He 
wanted to...he really wanted to snuggle with his handsome 
boyfriend, but Kenji wouldn't go for it.

	Then Eri threw the door open.  "You!"  She pointed at 
Otoko-Yakumo.  "Why did you kiss me?"

	"You defied me to kiss you," Otoko-Yakumo said.  
There was one nice thing about being male.  She felt much 
braver.  Which was probably the testosterone.  

	"I didn't...well, maybe I did, but you weren't supposed 
to do it!" Eri shouted, folding her arms under her breasts.  
"You were supposed to back down and put down Kenji!"

	They kissed?  Harima felt a sudden intense burst of 
jealousy, followed by utter shock.  Yakumo...kissed Eri?  
She was a boy right now, but...

	Otoko-Yakumo felt his heart beating faster; adrenaline 
was surging through him.  He rose from his chair.  "You 
should have said that, then.  Instead of defying me to kiss 
you.  Especially given how many kisses you stole from me 
when you were a boy!"

	"Those were accidents!  I was out to...I wasn't after 
your lips!" Eri shouted.  Though we enjoyed them, her boy-
self seemed to say to her.  She ignored the stray thought.  

	"You'd kiss any girl you saw.  I'm sticking to..."  No, 
wait, having kissed Eri, he couldn't say 'I'm sticking to my 
boyfriend.'

	"You kissed me!  So you didn't just kiss Kenji either!" 
Eri said triumphantly.  "And you started doing it almost 
immediately!  I at least tried to remain a woman inside!"  
She put her hands on her hips and laughed.

	The war-room inside Kenji's head went to Defcon 2.  
He could feel the apocalypse coming, could feel it moving 
towards him at HIGH SPEED.

	He was about to lay down the 'no monkey' talk, when 
he thought about what all he'd done as a woman.  He'd 
kissed Otoko-Eri and Yakumo, repeatedly, put them 
through so much hell...I was the monkey of monkeys and 
they came back for more and I should have been shot, he 
realized.

	He couldn't just let things go on like this, but he didn't 
know what to do.  It had been so much easier to handle 
them when he was a woman.  

	"Yes, we can see that from the way you kissed every 
woman in sight," Otoko-Yakumo said, stepping towards 
her.  "Whereas, girl you has never been able to kiss Kenji 
sober.  I've kissed him both when he was a boy and a girl!  
And he's kissed me both ways too!"

	"I've kissed him both ways myself due to changing 
sex!" Eri said.

	"I didn't need that excuse!" Otoko-Yakumo said.  
"And I don't need alcohol to kiss my boyfriend!"

	"Neither do I!" Eri shouted.

	"Prove it!" Otoko-Yakumo shouted.

	Harima tried to figure out what to do.  A guy was 
kissing his girlfriend, but that guy was actually his other 
girlfriend and...wait, what exactly are we arguing over?

	Thinking is hard.

	"Fine!  I will!"  Eri strode over, grabbed Harima and 
kissed him fiercely.  He kissed back, though mostly he was 
too stunned and trying to catch up to respond a lot.

	"Dammit, that's not fair when I can't kiss him," Otoko-
Yakumo said.

	"YOU JUST DEFIED ME TO KISS HIM!" Eri 
yelled.  "Am I surrounded by crazy people?"

	"The only fair thing is for you to turn him into a girl 
again, so I can kiss him," Otoko-Yakumo said.

	"You kissed Yuuki without any hesitation!" Eri yelled 
at her.  

	"I don't want to be a woman again, even if it was 
easier than this!" Harima protested.

	"It was an accident!" Otoko-Yakumo said.

	"A likely story!" Eri yelled.  Then a thought struck 
her.  Wait...if I'm a woman again and can use the 
magic...can't I turn everyone back to normal?  No, surely 
the...the Archmagus is a dumbass, though.  

	It was getting hard for Otoko-Yakumo to think 
straight.  His whole body felt crazy, and he wanted to do 
things...things Kenji probably wouldn't go for like this, 
which aggravated him.  He expected me to kiss his girl self, 
but he won't kiss my boy body.  That's not fair.  It scared 
me, but I enjoyed it, so I'm sure he'd enjoy it if he stopped 
being afraid.  

	"Wait...I can't keep track of who owes who a kiss," 
Harima said.  He fumbled for some paper.  "Okay, drunken 
Eri kissed me and I kissed boy-Eri...some number of 
times...and Boy-Eri kissed Girl-Yakumo several times 
and..."

	The conversation calmed a bit as they all became pre-
occupied with who kissed who and how it counted, and 
how this was supposed to be balanced for fairness.  The 
problem, of course, was 'fairness', which meant different 
things to different people.

	They were still talleying up totals and trying to decide 
if there should be an 'accident' flag, when Warlock Yakumo 
arrived.  No one noticed him, so he listened silently for a 
few minutes, then said, "Hello."

	All three of them nearly jumped out of their skin.  
"Witch Yakumo?" Harima finally said weakly.

	"Yakumo, you should come with me until you are 
back to normal," Warlock Yakumo said.  "Before there can 
be more trouble.  If you all want to argue about all this 
then, you can argue then."

	"I'm not leaving her alone with him," Otoko-Yakumo 
said.

	"Well, I'm not leaving him alone with YOU," Eri said.

	"Well, if you take both of them, they may start kissing 
again," Harima said.

	So much like my Kenji, Warlock Yakumo thought.  I 
love him dearly, but he has no common sense.  "I will 
segregate them, just in case."

	Harima looked curiously at Warlock Yakumo.  "You 
don't seem hardly affected at all by this."

	"I am trained in morphological resistance.  Since I 
know how to take on some animal forms..."

	Otoko-Yakumo interrupted excitedly.  "You can turn 
into animals?"  He thought that would be one of the best 
possible powers.

	"Yes.  I don't do it much, though, as it's risky and 
difficult and requires stripping naked," Otoko-Yakumo 
said.  "But I've trained in how to keep my sense of self in 
another body."

	"I wish I had time to learn," Otoko-Yakumo said 
sadly.  "I could talk to Iori."

	"Don't ask Iori for love advice.  TRUST me," Harima 
said.

	Oh great, he lets a CAT tell him what to do, Eri 
thought.

	"Come on," Warlock Yakumo said, taking Eri and 
Otoko-Yakumo by the arms.  "I'm putting you both to bed, 
so as to avoid anything happening you'll all regret."

	"Not the same bed, I hope," Harima said.

	"NOT the same bed."  	
	

****************

	"No, you can't dress me up," Onna-Hanai said, as she 
sat on the bed with Otoko-Mikoto, moping.  

	"But you'd look so cute," he said.  "You can dress me 
up.  We might as well have some fun with this."  And you 
need something to stop you pouting.

	"I am not pouting," Onna-Hanai pouted.  "Much."

	Otoko-Mikoto jumped slightly.  This was just kind of 
surreal.

	"I...you really want to?" Onna-Hanai asked.

	"Yeah.  We can't...but we might as well do something 
to remember this by," Otoko-Mikoto said.

	We could, Onna-Hanai thought.  It wouldn't be wise.  
Her body wanted it, but her brain didn't.  Not yet, anyway, 
and if they avoided anything, they'd turn back quicker.  
"We'll need clothing, though.  It's not like either of us 
brought anything very feminine on this trip."

	"I'll be right back."  Otoko-Mikoto ran out before he 
could be stopped.

	Oh great, now EVERYONE will know, Onna-Hanai 
thought.	 

***********

	The strange thing for Tenma was that she was taller 
and better looking as a boy than as a girl.  He stared at 
himself in the mirror.  This seemed the case with a lot of 
them...maybe it was part of the magic.  I don't look too 
much like Dad, though, she thought.

	Onna-Karasuma came up behind him; she was shorter 
than him now.  Otoko-Tenma felt confused about his body 
and what it wanted; she seemed strangely comfortable and 
probably more...no, definitely more affectionate than usual, 
like someone slipping comfortably into their true self.  

	"You're very handsome," Onna-Karasuma said.

	Otoko-Tenma blushed.  "You think so?  Do you think 
girl-me is pretty?"

	"Girl-you is beautiful," Onna-Karasuma said.

	Otoko-Tenma blushed.  "How come you never..."

	"He is always doing things on too many levels at 
once," she said softly.  "He can't focus on you as much as 
he would like.  But now I am focused."

	"You act like he's someone else," Otoko-Tenma said 
nervously, feeling the gentle curves of Onna-Karasuma's 
slender, elegant figure press to his back.  It gave him some 
very bizarre sensations.  

	"We are part of each other," Onna-Karasuma said.  
"But I am a more focused part.  But all the parts you know 
all love you."

	Otoko-Tenma turned red.  Did it take this to get 
Karasuma to confess?  "I love you, Karasuma-kun," he said 
frantically.

	"You can call me Ooji-chan," she whispered into 
Otoko-Tenma's ear.  "And my boy self Ooji-kun if you 
want to.  He loves you as much as he can, though part of 
his heart will always belong to curry."

	Otoko-Tenma frowned.  "As he can?"
	
	"I shouldn't talk about it all," Onna-Karasuma said.  
"He'll want to tell you himself."

	"I don't understand," Otoko-Tenma said, feeling 
confused and lost.

	"Each of us contains multitudes.  You have your many 
disguise roles, your boy and girl self...and so do I," Onna-
Karasuma said.  "Only, I'm more conscious of it and have 
more control."  Her fingers gently kneeded Otoko-Tenma's 
tense shoulders.  "The world is a dream and we are all 
dreamers and together, we dream many dreams."  

	Otoko-Tenma felt himself start to get groggy as he 
relaxed.  "Are you saying all my life is a dream and the real 
me is going to wake up one day?"

	"That you is also a dream," Onna-Karasuma said.  
"The butterfly and Lao Tze are both real and both dreams, 
dreaming each other into existence as part of a larger 
whole."

	Butterfly?  Lao Tze?  Otoko-Tenma felt very 
confused.  "I don't get it," he said, yawning.

	"Life is an infinite dance of dreams," Onna-Karasuma 
said, now embracing Otoko-Tenma again.  "What would 
you like to dream tonight?"

	"I wanna be a glamorous movie star with you as my 
super-sexy boyfriend and I want everyone to love me and 
despair," Otoko-Tenma said, yawning.  "Except my friends, 
who would all have super-hunky boyfriends who love them 
dearly like I do.  We'd all be famous and rich together."  He 
sighed.  "I guess that all sounds superficial and not very 
deep."

	"It shows you love your friends dearly," Onna-
Karasuma said, now running fingers through Otoko-
Tenma's long hair.  "Let's sleep, and I'll show you your 
dream."

	"I'm not very smart or deep," Otoko-Tenma mumbled 
as Onna-Karasuma dragged her bedwards.

"I will teach you to be smart, and you can teach me 
how to love better.  I envy how kind your heart is, how full 
of love it is," Onna-Karasuma said softly.  "You are a better 
person than I."

"No," Otoko-Tenma said.  "You are a wonderful, kind, 
loving person."

"My boy self is quiet and withdrawn and prone to 
watch people mess themselves up because it is 
entertaining," Onna-Karasuma said sadly.  "He could help 
many, but it's hard for him to motivate himself to reach out.  
He is not so much like you as you think.  You are the true 
miracle."

Otoko-Tenma sat down on the bed, feeling a little 
frustrated.  "You don't seem that way to me," he said 
stubbornly.

"You see the good me that could be," Onna-Karasuma 
said, laying him down and crawling in beside him.  "I hope 
you can make it real.  Goodnight, dear.  Sleep, and I will 
show you your wish."

Otoko-Tenma swiftly fell asleep in his lover's arms.

***************

	Warlock Yakumo brought Otoko-Yakumo to Otoko-
Sara and Onna-Asou, who were praying.  "Please keep my 
twin out of trouble," he asked.

	"Of course," Otoko-Sara said, taking Otoko-Yakumo 
by the hand.  "Pray with us, Yakumo-chan.  You'll feel 
better."

	Otoko-Yakumo nodded.  "Okay.  Thank you, 
Warlock-Yakumo."

	"You're welcome."  Warlock Yakumo took off for 
bed, having already dropped off Eri at a bedroom.

	Yakumo is so cute like this, Otoko-Sara thought.  She 
makes such a handsome guy.  You know, we...no, don't 
think that way, he told himself.  If Asou and I don't...I 
really shouldn't with Yakumo, even if they both...oh Lord, 
protect us from our own naughty thoughts.

	"I suppose God wouldn't be happy if I went and got us 
all a snack," Onna-Asou said.  

	"Not here," Otoko-Sara said.  "Are you hungry?"

	"Yes," she said.  

	"I could probably use some food too," Otoko-Yakumo 
said.  "We can take a break and go together."

	"Okay," Otoko-Sara said, rising.  

	Sara makes a good looking guy, Otoko-Yakumo 
thought.  I...no, no, no.  Am I insane?  This night can't 
possibly end fast enough.

************

	Harima flopped down on the bed alone.  They'd better 
not be kissing, he thought.  Not without me.  Not that he 
wanted to kiss a guy, even if it was Yakumo and not even if 
Yakumo did work pretty well as a guy, which really 
surprised him.  Fiesty, handsome, strong-willed, good 
kisser apparently...not a lot like normal Yakumo at all.  

	Hell, he was being more manly than me.  I can't allow 
that, he thought, getting up.  I have to do something to 
reassert my status as top dog male.  Kick someone's ass, get 
an undying profession of love...I shouldn't just be lying 
around moaning to myself.

	But whose ass to kick?  Lord Harima was usually 
worth stomping, but fighting himself was always kind of 
confusing and he'd done it too many times.  But the only 
person causing him trouble was Otoko-Yakumo and he 
couldn't attack her.  Well, there was Karasuma...but 
Karasuma was a girl right now.  Can't hit a girl.

	Wait...my cousin is a man now!  I CAN KICK HIS 
ASS AND NOT HAVE TO HOLD BACK!

	It was finally time for sweet revenge.  

*************

	I should just go sneak into Kenji's bed, Eri thought.  
When will we get another chance like this?  Not that he 
deserved to sleep with her, but this was how he could make 
up for all the hell she'd gotten from him when he was a 
woman.  

	Not that she was sure of everything to do, although 
Tani-sensei had told her a lot and she could flip the advice.  

	Hell, yes, she said, getting up.  He'd never sleep with 
Otoko-Yakumo.  Not unless he got turned into a girl, and 
she wasn't going to do that.  

	She was already running over the man-tormenting 
methods she'd learned from Onna-Harima in her mind 
when she came to Kenji's door and cracked it open.

	He wasn't there.

	For a moment, she indulged in a yaoi fantasy of 
Otoko-Yakumo and Harima naked and...

	Her eyes crossed.  No way.  But where was...

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! MY SPLEEN!"

	She knew the sound of Kenji getting an asswhuppin' 
anywhere.

	She arrived to find that Otoko-Itoko had put Harima 
into a suplex.  "You forget that I'm now STRONGER than 
before," Otoko-Itoko said to Harima.  "And still just as 
skillful."  Otoko-Itoko was naked to the waist and built like 
a tank.  It was hard for Eri to not stare with appreciation.

	"Go, Itoko, go!" Otoko-Sasakura said, cheering.  He 
had a more willowy build still.  Eri was not as impressed.

	Harima reached for Eri.  "Tag!"

	What the hell?  She stared at the hand, then reached 
towards it hesitantly.

	"You think you can take Itoko where he couldn't?" 
Otoko-Sasakura asked curiously.

	"Wait, is that what this means?" Eri asked.

	"Yes."

	Eri frowned.  "Just for all the bullshit he pulled on us 
while female, I'm gonna let him have his punishment."

	A real man shouldn't run from his mistakes, Harima 
realized.  I will fight!  AND WIN!  

	PAIN ENSUED.

	Eventually, Eri threw him over one shoulder and 
hauled him off down the hallway.

*************

	"Really, it would only be fair if they changed back for 
the night the way the rest of us are stuck, and you got to 
have your kiss with Kenji," Otoko-Sara said.  "Don't you 
think so, Asou-kun?"

	They sat in the dining hall, eating sandwiches a kindly 
cook had made them.  

	"I think Harima should stop waffling, decide who to 
date, and settle down with her," Onna-Asou said firmly.  
"Or just go mope in peace by himself, over failing with 
Tenma."

	Otoko-Sara felt a small burst of...something.  His body 
was trying to give him some sort of signal to match the 
proudness of his heart.  My girlfriend is so moral and just 
and upright, he thought.  I am so lucky I have someone who 
will never run around on me.  He leaned over and kissed 
Onna-Asou on the cheek, smiling as she turned red.  She's 
so shy, he thought.  And proper.  It made her more 
attractive to him than ever.

	Otoko-Yakumo felt jealous in an abstract way, not 
because of the specific people, but just from watching 
kissing without getting any.  "I just...you'd kiss Sara, right, 
Asou-sempai?"

	"I kiss Sara all the time," Onna-Asou said, then 
finished off her BLT.

	Onna-Sara took a swig of wine, then said, "Asou-kun's 
kisses are the best."

	"I mean, right now," Otoko-Yakumo said.  "I just don't 
think it's fair I kissed his girl body and he won't kiss my 
boy body."  He frowned at his ham and cheese and tomato 
sandwich before taking another bite.

	Onna-Asou tried to find a way to say it without 
insulting the two men at the table.  "I'm sure Girl-Harima 
would have done it without hesitating.  She kissed 
Sawachika-san about a million times, I think.  But I think 
that doing it now would remind him of that."

	"There's nothing wrong with being a woman," Otoko-
Sara said a little defensively.

	"So you'd be happy to stay a man a few weeks?" 
Onna-Asou asked.

	"I...I'd rather be me," Otoko-Sara said.

	"Exactly.  Most people don't want to kiss the same sex 
as themselves," Onna-Asou said.  "Right?"

	"Well, I wouldn't mind kissing Girl-Yakumo or Boy-
Yakumo," Otoko-Sara said, then hastilly said, "Not that I 
will, since I have a boyfriend who is my girlfriend right 
now, and I'm not going to cheat on you, I'm just speaking 
abstractly.  And not thinking about...anything.  At all."  
Certainly not the time Otoko-Eri had hit on him when he 
was his normal she-self.

	"I'm not a jealous wreck like Onna-Harima was," 
Onna-Asou said, though knowing her girlfriend wouldn't 
mind kissing her best friend both gave her naughty 
thoughts she shouldn't act on and did in fact make him a 
little jealous.

	"Well, if I didn't already have a boyfriend, I wouldn't 
mind kissing Sara either," Otoko-Yakumo said 
thoughtfully.  "But I do have a boyfriend and we don't have 
that kind of relationship."

	Onna-Asou's brain began running down alternate 
paths of paranoia and ridiculous sexual fantasy, neither of 
which she wished to be exploring right now.  "We probably 
should change topics."

	"You'd kiss Sara if you were a boy right now, wouldn't 
you?" Otoko-Yakumo asked.

	"Didn't I say 'switch' topics?" Onna-Asou asked.  At 
least Suga isn't here...he'd probably claim he and I kiss all 
the time, just to make trouble.  

	"You don't mind kissing me like this, do you?" Otoko-
Sara asked.  He sounded hurt, and now Onna-Asou felt 
hugely guilty.

	"Of course not," she lied.  "Do you want me to kiss 
you?"

	"I'll feel better if you do," Otoko-Sara said.

	Nervously, Onna-Asou licked her lips, then leaned 
over.  Her body wanted this, whereas her mind was very 
aware of being about to kiss a boy.  She tried to shove her 
mind down; she had to do this, for her girlfriend / 
boyfriend's sake.  

	The kiss was very hesitant, and gradually, as Onna-
Asou listened to her body's dictates, it grew warmer, until, 
finally, she was in Otoko-Sara's lap, embracing her and 
kissing fervently, while Otoko-Yakumo turned aside to 
finish her tea so as to not stare.

	Onna-Asou trembled, and said, "We'd better not do 
that again; I think I just gave my body too much 
encouragement."

	Otoko-Sara trembled with excitement.  Did we ever 
kiss that...that well...the normal way?  Well, they had been 
kissing better since they'd both levelled in girlfriend and 
boyfriend...

	"We have to stop or we'll get stuck," Otoko-Sara said.  
That didn't seem such a bad thing at the moment.

	But his priestess training helped him focus his mind.  
They could just kiss like that tomorrow as a girl and a boy 
instead of vice versa, right?  Right.  Also, kissing in front 
of Yakumo without inviting her to join in would be rude, 
though he now wondered what it would be like.

	"We should finish eating, then pray until we can 
sleep," Otoko-Sara said quickly.

	Onna-Asou finished everything off.  "Exactly."  It had 
felt far better than he'd expected, and now he felt the kind 
of mental confusion he suspected had driven Harima over 
the edge during his period as a woman.  It was time to get 
his focus back.

*************

	Eri laid out the still knocked out Harima on the bed, 
then tried to decide what to do.  This would be her last 
chance before going home to be grounded forever.  But 
after that beating...would he even want to do anything?

	Part of her now regretted that she hadn't been able to 
firmly get him for herself when she was a guy.  He'd 
seemed more open to it...had it been insanity or did he just 
need to be...well, women were more open and honest about 
their feelings, she was sure, even if she usually hid hers.

	She thought about the kisses they'd shared, and her 
heart beat faster.  There had just been something so alluring 
about Onna-Harima and the way she kissed me was so 
sweet and...

	Does he really think I'm his girlfriend now?  She had 
to know.  Even if he spewed some insane bullshit about 
having two girlfriends and she had to kick his ass to the 
moon.  

	Though...having two girlfriends would have been kind 
of cool, when she was a guy.  Not that she was nostalgic or 
anything.  

	She tried to wake him, but the Itoko beating had been 
so thorough that no force known to Eri could rouse him.

	Finally, she sighed and decided to just let him sleep; 
she'd go get a room with peace and quiet and just sleep 
herself, rather than risk sleeping with him now and being 
rejected in the morning.  Or squished; Onna-Harima had 
been prone to flail.

	Yawning, she slinked off to bed, feeling down.  

**************

	"Just one question...where did you get this?" Onna-
Hanai asked.

	"Warlock Yakumo," Otoko-Mikoto said.

	Okay, she would probably be discreet, Onna-Hanai 
asked.  "Will it fit me?"

	"Your build right now is similar.  Go try it on."

	It took a while to figure out how to get it all on, and 
looking in the bathroom mirror, Onna-Hanai cringed at 
how feminine she looked in it.  But it would make Mikoto 
happy and hopefully, there was no way to take pictures.

	She emerged in the frilly yellow dress, and watched 
Otoko-Mikoto look her up and down, clearly liking what he 
saw.  Mind-hearing helped with that.  In fact, it gave her a 
lot of images more than what she really wanted to see.

	"Mmm, good," Otoko-Mikoto said.  "I couldn't find 
any cameras, not even magic ones, and I thought a sketch 
would embarrass you too much, so we'll just have to 
remember this for ourselves."  He himself was wearing 
tight black clothing that looked good on his wiry frame.  

	Onna-Hanai felt relieved there was no way to catch 
this on film.  She came over to mirror and posed, studying 
herself.  It was so utterly strange to see herself in the mirror 
like this.  

	Otoko-Mikoto came over and embraced her; she could 
feel him struggling between physical urges and mental 
common-sense, recognizing the struggle in himself.  "You 
look so pretty," he said, almost giggling.

	"You'd look better in this than me, if you were a 
woman right now," Onna-Hanai said.

	"I wish Masahiro-san was here, so I could dress him 
up too," Otoko-Mikoto said.

	"Yeah, Miki-san would probably love dressing him 
up," Onna-Hanai said, then sighed.  "I hope they're okay."

	"They're probably wondering if we're still alive.  But 
we'll be back soon," Otoko-Mikoto said.  His hands began 
to roam across Onna-Hanai's body slowly; it felt very nice 
to her.

	"Miki would probably expect you and I change sex all 
the time," Onna-Hanai mumbled, then made a little happy 
noise at Otoko-Mikoto's caresses, which she knew she 
ought to stop, but it felt too good to stop.

	"I...we..."  Otoko-Mikoto struggled for words.  Onna-
Hanai could feel her internal battle.  "Well, we...are we 
going to keep doing that with them?"  Onna-Hanai could 
tell that Mikoto wanted to, but felt freaky about it at the 
same time.

	She felt pretty much the same way.  "Yes, I think so," 
she said softly.  "Especially as if we're going to do it when 
we get back to school, it's all going to have to happen away 
from our houses, so unless we borrow a room from 
Tsukamoto-san all the time...which would make Yakumo-
san too uncomfortable, I think...then they can give us space 
for it and..."

	Otoko-Mikoto pulled her back to the bed, hand still 
roaming, avoiding the most sexy spots, but slowly 
caressing all over Onna-Hanai, who could feel her body 
coming alive.  Get up, Onna-Hanai told herself, but didn't.  

 	Otoko-Mikoto said, "That's true.  I just...well, I 
suppose if we're caught just alone, we'll be killed anyway."

	"True, that," Onna-Hanai replied, then stood up.  "That 
feels wonderful, but unless we want to get stuck, we'd 
better stop."

	"You're right.  Let's change and go to bed," Otoko-
Mikoto said, sighing.  He was disappointed, she could tell, 
but it was for the best.

*************

	Harima was somewhat confused to later wake up with 
a woman in his bed.  He was pretty sure he'd gone to bed 
alone.  He needed the solitude.  But apparently, he was so 
much man that Eri and Yakumo couldn't keep out of his 
bed.  That was a good sign of his return to manliness, right?

	He rolled over, only to see it was some woman...dark 
hair...too tall to be Yakumo...too dark for Eri...  

	She rolled over and he realized he was looking at 
someone who looked just like his girl body had.  WHAT 
THE HELL IS THIS?, he asked himself.

	She groggily said, "Hello, me."

	"Who the fuck are you?" he asked as she sat up.  

	"Just another part of your brain," she said.  "I thought I 
should stick around, give you some good advice."

	"But you...what are you doing over there?"  He 
paused.  "I mean..."

	"Oh, this is a dream, we're inside your head where we 
both live," she said.  "Anyway, you're back in the driver's 
seat, but as they say, don't call up boy bands if they can't 
get down."

	"What the hell does that mean?" he asked, utterly 
confused.

	She frowned.  "No, that wasn't right...anyway, I'll be 
here, giving you good girlfriendy advice."

	"I don't want that!  I'm not a woman any more!" 
Harima said.  

	"Well, shouldn't have taken the level in girlfriend, 
then."

	I hate everything, Harima thought.  "Can't I get rid of 
it?"

	"No takebacks."

	Dammit, he thought.  Well, at least I won't turn into a 
woman.  "I won't be..."

	"You should stay a guy," she said.  "But now you have 
a little womanly perspective."

	He studied her.  "Hmm, more of a big woman 
perspective.  You're a little chunky."

	He got back to sleep via her beating him unconscious 
with the dresser drawers.

**************

	Kenji had better stop waffling around, Eri thought as 
she soaked in the hot tub.  He's going to have to make up 
his mind.

	"It's not quite that simple and we both know it," a man 
said next to her.

	She rose up, ready to kill, only to find her towel 
coming loose and herself staring down at her boy-self.  
"Better tie it more securely in case next time I'm Kenji," he 
said.

	She sighed.  "Dream?"

	"Smart one," he said.  "I think you have a little better 
idea of how tempting it all can be now."

	"I don't WANT a balanced perspective.  I want to 
wallow in my own righteousness," Eri said fervently.

	"Too late, I'm here to balance your perspective," he 
said.

	"I just...I went out on a limb and showed him what I 
really feel," Eri mumbled.  "Don't I deserve to know what 
he feels?"

	"Sure.  Just keep in mind he's been obsessed over 
Tenma.  I'd have to say he likely has the hots for you, 
though," Otoko-Eri said.  "If you'd been a little braver, we 
could have had her."

	"I think he'd be screaming at himself if we'd done 
that," Eri said.

	"Maybe so.  Well, it'll depend some on if Yakumo 
stays bad-ass or not.  As if she doesn't, then it shouldn't be 
too hard to move in."  Otoko-Eri sank down a little into the 
water.   "Well, you're scheduled to be attacked by dream 
weasels next, so I'll be taking off."
	
	"I...what?"  Eri stared at her other self in shock.

	He dove into the water.

	Dozens of angry weasels dived in the window, falling 
into the water.  

	Eri had other things on her mind after that.

*************

	"Akira-kun."

	Mumble, mumble, stir.  "Huh?"

	"We have a problem," the high pitched voice said.

	"What?"  Stretch, touch, touch again, sigh.  "Dammit." 
His voice was deep and a little rough.

	"Well, at least we'll know who else did it," the woman 
mumbled.

	"Time to see the Archmagus."

	There was distant screaming and chaos.

	"We'd better hurry to be first in line."

************

	Screaming and yelling woke Mikoto up.  She was 
much relieved to see she was back to normal.  So was 
Hanai, thankfully.

	But the yelping clearly meant someone else was not.

**************

	"This is going to complicate matters," Onna-Tani-
sensei mumbled to her lovers.

	"Given how much I enjoyed myself last night, I can't 
complain too much," Otoko-Yuri purred.  "I'm feeling 
pretty good."

	"Me too, but it is going to hamper going home, as it 
would be hard to explain to our bosses," Otoko-Tae-sensei 
said.

	Otoko-Yuri frowned.  He didn't...he didn't want to go 
home.  Not if he could stay here with him.  This 
was...better than his boring life at home.  And being a guy 
wasn't bad at all, like he'd thought.  But they'd want to go 
home to their much better than his lives of course.  He 
sighed, suddenly depressed.  There has to be something I 
can do, he thought.

	But he didn't know what.

**************

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"  Fuyuki woke to 
the sound of Sagano screaming.

	"What?  What?" he asked in a panic.

	She looked down her shirt.  "Oh wait, I'm supposed to 
be a woman."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Fuyuki screamed.  

	"What's wrong?" Sagano asked, panicked.

	"I'm sitting next to someone who screams for no 
reason!" Fuyuki said, laughing a little.

	"I'll give you a reason!"  Pounce.

*************

	Tenma ran out of the store to try to reach her 
limousine before the fan rush hit.  Even with Karasuma and 
Mikoto covering her flanks, they almost didn't make it, but 
Kenji punted a triad of photographers into the stratosphere, 
and they leaped into the vehicle and roared off.

	But as they turned to head onto Fifth Avenue, the 
screaming woke her up.

	"No, I hadn't gotten to my premiere, yet!" Tenma said, 
frustrated.

	Karasuma sat up.  "Morning."  He was back to normal; 
it was almost a little disappointing to Tenma, after how 
affectionate he'd been the previous night.

	But she leaned over and kissed him and he kissed 
back, smiling a moment.

	"I love you," she said softly.

	"Ditto," he replied.

	That was enough for now.

**************

	Onna-Suga was about to shake Asou awake when it 
sank in that he had Yakumo and Sara cuddled up to him.  
Great, I get stuck as a woman, and HE had a threesome last 
night.  IN THE CHAPEL.

	As Otoko-Satsuki came in, looking chipper, Onna-
Suga pointed out the three of them.

	Otoko-Satsuki said, "Hey, all I did was to experiment 
with my new body and I get stuck, while they have wild-
three-way sex and they turn back?"

	"Maybe God intervened," Onna-Suga said.  "Although 
they did get dressed afterwards, so maybe they didn't go all 
the way."

	"True," Otoko-Satsuki said.  

	"Kenji..." Yakumo mumbled in her sleep.

	"Man, cuddled up to one guy, dreaming of another," 
Onna-Suga said.  

	"We should probably get down and cuddle up to them, 
just to make them scream when they wake up," Otoko-
Satsuki said.

	"Good idea."

	"I can hear you," Asou said, eyes still closed.

	"So, did you three have mad sex last night?" Onna-
Suga asked.

	"No, or we'd be stuck like you."

	Yakumo and Sara began to stir.

	"We didn't have sex, though," Onna-Suga said.

	"Playing with yourself counts, I guess," Asou said.

	"Don't tell me you never..." Onna-Suga began.

	Sara woke and kissed Asou's cheek and sat up.  "Hi, 
everyone."  She yawned.

	"LATER," Asou said.

	"C'mon, if we can't talk about you whacking off in 
front of your girlfriends, when can we?" Suga asked.

	Sara blushed.  

 	Otoko-Satsuki said, "I have to say that it gets pretty 
messy.  I wasn't thinking ahead."

	Sara blushed more.  Asou said, "That's enough."

	Yakumo yawned, then rolled over onto Asou.

	"Someone didn't get enough," Onna-Suga said.

	Sara gently lifted Yakumo off Asou and into her own 
lap.  "So, you two..."

	"Stuck," Onna-Suga said.  "We should probably go 
bug the Archmagus."

	"Let's wake Yakumo and go, then," Sara said.	

	"Just don't gloat," Onna-Suga said dolefully.

	"I won't gloat much," Asou said.  "Much."

************

	Miki tried to remember a time when she hadn't been in 
Mr. Hanai's ruthless training program, punching bears and 
forest cats.  It all seemed like a dream--college, freedom, 
classes, her friends, Mikoto and Haruki...There was only 
her and Masahiro and the woods and all the clobbered 
animals.

	It was as if time itself stood still while they trained and 
trained to the point of exhaustion.  She was in the best 
shape of her life, but was he going to keep them here 
forever?

	"Don't we ever get to leave?" Masahiro finally said.

	"When you defeat me or my son finally comes back 
from running away," Mr. Hanai said.  "Now, show me, 
'Monkey Frogpunches the Elk.'"

	"There are no Elk in Japan," Masahiro said.

	"You are now Elk boy," Mr. Hanai said.  He was 
starting to get a little worried himself.  What was taking the 
boy so long?  I go to all this effort to play the evil overlord 
so he can come and heroically rescue his other lovers and 
he can't even be bothered to show up.

	So typical of the boy.  Lazy, that's what he is.  Where 
is he?

******************

	Eventually, all of the victims ended up before the 
Archmagus.  "Well, as I thought, sex reinforces it.  So just 
don't have sex before tomorrow morning and don't do 
anything else that stimulates the chakras, like shucking and 
jiving."

	"What exactly IS 'shucking and jiving'?" Onna-Suga 
asked.

	"I have no clue, just reporting what my books say," the 
Archmagus said.  "Just don't shuck and jive."

	"Right."

	"Probably best if you all lock yourself in seperate 
rooms with your hands chained up, so you can't do 
anything even if tempted," the archmagus said.

	Tenma cracked a whip.  "No sweat."

	"Oh boy," Onna-Suga mumbled as Tenma began 
slave-driving all the victims.

	"Don't worry!  My kindly whip will turn you all back 
to normal in no time!" Tenma cackled.

	"Should we stop her?" Mikoto asked Hanai.

	"Let her have her fun, I think," Hanai said.  

	"Of course, now we have to figure out how to get 
home," Mikoto said.

	"Oh, that.  We can use the Stargate," the Archmagus 
said.  "Dial up your home world, send you through, no 
problem."

	"Whew.  Well, all's well that ends well, then," Mikoto 
said.

	"Yeah, we'll get home with no trouble at all."

	No trouble at all.

***********

	Mikoto sat in Hanai's lap, having decided to haul him 
off for a final round before leaving in the afternoon.  But 
right now, she was eating breakfast, which was a big mess 
together of noodles, beef, fish, fried vegetables, and spices.  
She liked it.

	She glanced over at Otoko-Akira and Onna-Nara, who 
were sitting in a similar fashion, with Onna-Nara in Otoko-
Akira's lap.  They seemed so...it seemed oddly right in their 
case.  Onna-Hanai had been kind of sexy, but it was...it 
wasn't normal and she had known it.  But the two of them, 
it seemed almost right for them to be that way.

	"Was it good?" she asked Akira nervously.  She had to 
ask.  She was going to wonder forever if she and Hanai 
would have liked it like that.

	"Yes," Otoko-Akira said.  "It was magnificent."

	Onna-Nara blushed red; it was rather cute, really.  
"Very good," she mumbled.

	Hanai said, "Good.  You two deserve some 
happiness."

	Otoko-Akira cocked his head curiously at Hanai.

	"Thank you," Onna-Nara said, finishing off her bowl 
of food.

	Tenma came in, holding Karasuma's hand.  "Mind if I 
join you?"

	"We don't mind at all," Mikoto said.

	"I finished the work of my kindly whip," Tenma said.  
"And now I'm hungry."  She looked over at Otoko-Akira 
and her eyes widened.  "Wow, you look so cool."

	Otoko-Akira blinked, then said, "Thank you.  I'm 
afraid we..."

	"W...w...di..."  Tenma struggled, then suddenly 
nosebled and fell over.

	Karasuma gently laid her down and put his jacket over 
her, then went and got food for bothof them.

	Onna-Nara said, "Is it just me, or does Tsukamoto-san 
sometimes have a very dirty mind?"

	"It's part of her wild imagination," Mikoto said.  

	"It's one of her cutest qualities," Otoko-Akira said.  

	"I like her imagination," Karasuma said.

	"Where's Eri?" Mikoto asked, looking around.

	"Perhaps she's off with Harima and Yakumo, finally 
settling things," Onna-Nara suggested.

	"I'll believe that when I see it."

****************

	Harima was pretty sure he had a good hiding place.  
People were going to want things from him soon, and he 
had to figure out what he wanted, what to do.  

	I told them both they're my girlfriend, I kissed both of 
them...I can't date both of them.  They won't stand for it, 
AND I would be a monkey and Tenma would hate me, he 
thought.  He couldn't stand that.

	He just didn't know what to do.  It would be unmanly 
to lead them on, then just dump one of them.  It was easier 
when he was...no, he couldn't think like that.  

	Lord Harima looked down into the small side 
courtyard from a balcony.  "Why are you hiding here?"

	"I'm not hiding," Harima said.

	Lord Harima jumped down.  "You looked like you 
were pouting."

	"I was NOT pouting," Harima said.  A thought hit 
him.  "Man."

	"What?"

	"It's a good thing you didn't have a beard still when 
you turned into a woman," Harima said.  

	Then they beat the crap out of each other for several 
hours.  Finally, collapsing exhausted, Harima said, "You 
still stuck on Tenma?"

	"The Princess, she'll be mine one day," Lord Harima 
said confidently.

	"She loves Karasuma," Harima said dolefully.  "Don't 
waste your time like I did."

	"He is EVIL, and I will CRUSH him!" Lord Harima 
said.

	"He's a freak, but he's not evil," Harima said, sighing.  
"I can't see what she sees in him."  That's what he really 
needed to understand.  It would help him move on, if he 
just understood it.  

	"He ensorcels her with his dark kappa powers," Lord 
Harima said.  "You shouldn't give up; only by 
perseverance, will you win a woman's heart."

	He didn't want to give up, but it was simply too 
obvious that she loved Karasuma.  Even he couldn't be 
blind forever.  

	"Look...you do realize Witch Yakumo and Sorceress 
Eri have a thing for you, right?" Harima asked.

	"They have gifts for me?"  Lord Harima rose to his 
feet.  "I guess it would be rude to make them wait.  See you 
later."

	"No, wait, I meant..."

	It was too late; Lord Harima ran off.

	What a total idiot, Harima thought.  It's a good thing 
he's the EVIL twin.

**************	

	Asou felt something niggling at him, and tried to think 
of what it was.  He and Onna-Suga and Otoko-Satsuki were 
trying to teach the art of basketball to their counterparts 
from this world while Sara and Priestess Sara were busy 
discussing something so theologically abtruse it made his 
brain hurt.

	Mostly, the three of them were crushing their 
counterparts, although Thief Satsuki had rather a knack for 
stealing the ball.

	Finally, it hit him, the whole business about Sara and 
Yakumo being willing to kiss each other.  He wondered if 
they'd meant that in the sense of kiss another boy while a 
boy or if some unspoken attraction between them had 
suddenly surfaced.  They were very close.

	But then, he and Suga were close, for all that they 
fought sometimes, and they wouldn't kiss.  Or at least Asou 
wouldn't.  

	Though he'd kissed Boy-Sara and it had been pretty 
enjoyable, really.

	Thanks to his eyes crossing, Swordsman Asou darted 
in, stole the ball, and passed it to Swordsman Suga, who 
went for a shot and scored.  "Better focus," Swordsman 
Suga said.

	It shouldn't matter, really; she'd made it clear that they 
wouldn't do anything.  While she was dating him...

	He shook his head.  No point in harping on some crazy 
thing said while magically transformed.  "I'm focused.  
Prepare for pain."

	The final score was 292-29.  Their other selves had 
talent, but not experience.  And Otoko-Satsuki was vicious 
with her high level of skill now combined with more height 
and strength.  

	He wondered, sometimes, how sincere she'd been 
about him...it seemed like she'd hooked up with Suga pretty 
smoothly.  Really, in fact, they seemed like a good couple 
to him.

	Probably just a crush on my good looks, he thought.  
It's not like she could have known much about me.

	His mind kept drifting back to a mental image of 
Yakumo and Sara kissing, though he kept telling himself to 
stop thinking about it.  It would never happen, so why 
worry about it?  Really.

***********

	"Do you have to go?" Martial Artist Hanai asked Lala.

	She sighed.  "Yes.  I have to finish this school year, 
and if I miss any more of it, I'll likely have to repeat the 
whole thing.  And I can't just abandon Father."

	"I'll miss you," he said, staring at the ground.

	"I'll miss you too," she said softly, kissing him.  "Try 
not to go crazy having to watch your...I can't believe she 
and Karin are lovers!"  Her body trembled.

	"Yeah," he said, sighing.  "Do you think we have time 
for..."

	"All those idiots are stuck for a day.  Let's set a world 
record," Lala said, taking his hand.

	He smiled.  "Ready...set...go."

	Pounce.

***********

	Eri could see Otoko-Akira had a certain rugged charm 
and confidence, which was pretty attractive.  She wasn't 
sure, but he seemed more able to smile as well.  Looks like 
she's enjoying it, Eri thought.  And Nara...was born to be a 
woman, really.

	"Have you seen Harima?" she asked Otoko-Akira.

	"No, I'm afraid not," Otoko-Akira said.

	"I haven't seen him today," Onna-Nara said.

	He's even wearing a dress, Eri thought.  She 
hadn't...well, okay, she hadn't NEEDED to change her 
clothing to be a boy...

	There was something about the way Otoko-Akira was 
looking at her.  She suddenly felt just a little jumpy; it was 
kind of like having a young Clint Eastwood studying you 
intently.

	"Hmm.  Probably if I 'accidentally' kiss you, he'll 
show up just in time to see it," Otoko-Akira said 
thoughtfully.

	"WHAT?" Eri said, jumping back.

	"Now, now, you 'accidentally' kissed Yakumo about 
three thousand times," Otoko-Akira said.

	"They were all accidents!  I was just after Girl-Kenji's 
sweet lips!" Eri said.

	"'Sweet' lips," Onna-Nara said.  "Do I have sweet lips, 
Akira-kun?"

	"You have the sweetest lips, Kentaro-chan," Otoko-
Akira purred at him.

	Eri felt very creeped out.  Was I like this?  No, Onna-
Nara is 23,000 times better a girlfriend for Akira than Kenji 
was.  So obnoxious and pushy and full of all that bullshit 
about women's prerogatives and soft and kissable and 
passionate and...

	She shook her head.  "You two are 
really...umm...getting into this."

	"Tell me you wouldn't have slept with Girl-Kenji," 
Otoko-Akira said, his voice suddenly harsher.  "If it had 
been just the two of you with no rival to hold you both 
back."

	"I...uh...that would have been..."  Eri stared at the 
ground.  "Maybe."

	"You know you would.  You two would have been 
just like us, if it had been just you two," Otoko-Akira said.

	"Well, maybe not just like us, as Girl-Harima was a lot 
more obnoxious than I am," Onna-Nara said.

	"Because you're my pretty little sweetness and light," 
Otoko-Akira purred at Onna-Nara.

	How can he just switch moods like that?  Is he putting 
us on?  Or does he just love Nara so much...

	Eri felt suddenly intensely jealous.  Why can't I have a 
boyfriend who is so kind and gentle and accomodating?

	He'd bore you to death, her boy self told her.  You 
want someone strong.  You liked having to overcome Girl-
Kenji's resistance to have your way with her.  Akira may 
want someone kind and gentle to smooth her rough edges, 
but you want someone strong who won't back down any 
more than you will.

	My other self is probably right, Eri thought.  Why else 
would I be wasting my time with such a macho idiot, who 
turned into such a wilful, perverse, sexy...  She took a deep 
breath.  Don't think about being a boy, she told herself.

	Though it might be easier to turn them both back for 
one night and bring thing...no, no, no messing around with 
poorly understood magic.  I need to learn more about 
it...assuming any of it will work for me back home.  

	"I guess I'll keep looking.  I need to talk to my twin, 
too," Eri said.

	"Good luck," Otoko-Akira said.  

	"Thanks."

***********

	Yakumo turned a corner, looking for Harima, and 
found herself face to face with Eri.

	They stared silently at each other for a minute, then 
Eri said, "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"

	"You wanted me to," Yakumo said quietly.  

	"I was trying to make you back off!" Eri said.

	"Didn't we already have this argument?" Yakumo 
asked.

	Her utter calm oozed under Eri's skin like a poison.  
"How can you be so calm about it?"

	"Well, you did kiss me a lot of times," Yakumo began.

	"I was a boy!  I was crazy!  Do you know what it..."

	Yakumo interrupted her.  "Yes.  I was a boy last night, 
remember?"

	There was a brief silence.

	Eri stared at the ground, then mumbled, "Weird, huh?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said softly.  

	It would be so much easier if you just seduced her, and 
then there would be no more conflict, Eri's boy-self told 
her.

	I don't lust after women!, Eri told herself.  And if she 
likes Kenji, she wouldn't like me like that anyway.

	You never know if you don't try, boy-Eri told her.

	Eri stepped towards Yakumo, then stopped herself.  
"You seen Kenji?"

	"No.  You?"

	"No."

	"I'll go this way," Eri said softly, pointing down a 
corridor.

	"And I, this way," Yakumo said, pointing down 
another.

	And so they went.

************	

	Yakumo rounded another corner and found Hanai 
there.  "Hello," he said softly.  "Look, I'm sorry.  For the 
trouble I caused you."

	"It's okay, sempai," she said softly.

	"No, really.  I didn't...is it really that easy for you to 
read minds?" he asked.

	"It used to only be boys who had an interest in me, or 
my really close friends and family," Yakumo said.  "But 
now, I can read other minds if I try."

	"It must be terrifying," he said.  "I almost...you really 
scared me and that wasn't even...half as much as I can be."

	Yakumo wasn't sure what to say.  "It's okay, sempai," 
she said.  He'd become much easier to deal with since he 
started dating Mikoto.  "Just be happy with Suou-sempai."

	"I'll do my best," he said.  "And good luck with 
Harima.  He's an idiot, but he's got a good heart, I think."

	"He's not stupid," she said softly.  "He just turned his 
mind's strengths to other things."

	Hanai wasn't sure how to say goodbye.  "Well, good 
luck, anyway.  See you around."  And then he turned and 
quickly left.

	Once he was gone, she let out a deep breath.  That was 
finally over.  A good omen...right?

	She turned and went to find Harima.

************
 
	Harima could feel the hairs on his neck stand up.  "Yo, 
Karasuma," he said a bit grumpily.

	"Hello," Karasuma said, not moving.

	"You gonna stare at my back or what?" Harima asked.

	"Yes."

	Harima could feel his nerves jangling and he rose and 
turned.  "You won.  Go away."

	"She worries about you," he said.

	"I'm fine.  I just need some solitude," Harima said. 
"Go away."

	Instead, Karasuma just stood there, staring at him.

	"Come with me."

	"NO," Harima said stubbornly.

	"She will worry."

	It was like a knife in his heart.  But he had to...had to 
put that behind him.  Not keep running to her.  He 
couldn't...he didn't know how...But he had to.  "I can't," he 
mumbled.

	Karasuma was silent again, but differently.  "I see," he 
said.  "She is in the gardens, if you change your mind."

	And then he was gone.

	He wanted to talk to her, to tell her everything...he 
needed to let it out.  He'd never been honest with her, not 
from the start.  Not when he'd feared that she would reject 
him if she saw any sign of his old self...

	He had tried so hard to change for her, to become 
someone she could love.  And yet...she loved Karasuma.  
Why?  What could she see in that cold, emotionless 
weirdo?  Why did she want that, instead of him?

	He wanted to know...he had to know.  In order to 
finally move on.  Why had he lost?

	Getting Tenma alone to ask her that wouldn't be easy, 
but he had to do it.  Maybe it would help him understand.

************

	Tenma was rather surprised when a bush started 
talking to her.  "Why do you love Karasuma?"

	She blinked.  "Hello, Mr. Bush."

	"Hello," the bush replied.

	"He's so handsome and intelligent and strong and 
clever and creative and kind and gentle and loving," Tenma 
said.

	The bush seemed slightly non-plussed.  "You like 
smart people?"

	"Yes," Tenma said.  "My ideal man has to be smart."

	This seemed to make the bush shake with 
unhappiness.  "How can you say he's handsome?  He looks 
so weird."

	"That's the kind of look I like," Tenma said firmly.  "I 
just do."

	"You know...other strong people," the bush said 
hesitantly.

	"Yes, but none of them have all of the qualities I need.  
Mikoto is strong, but I only like women like that when the 
moon is full, and..."  Tenma began.

	"Wait, you love women when the moon is full?"

	"It would seem I'm infected with were-lesbianism," 
Tenma said.  She looked around nervously.  "Don't tell 
anyone.  I'm probably going to have to ask Kenji-kun to 
keep me chained up when the moon is full, just to avoid 
any more trouble."

	The bush was left speechless.

	Tenma hoped she hadn't done anything during any of 
her past episodes that she couldn't remember at all to cause 
anyone trouble that she couldn't remember.  But Kenji-kun 
would make sure she didn't.  

	"You...umm...seem to put a lot of trust in him."

	"He's like a big brother to me," Tenma said.  "I trust 
him absolutely."

	"But you don't love him like you do Karasuma," the 
bush said nervously.

	"I love him like a brother," Tenma said.  "I'm sure he 
knows how much I rely on him now."

	The bush fell silent, but finally mumbled, "But he's so 
stupid, and you said you only loved smart guys."

	"You love family the way they are, not the way you 
wish they would be.  Boyfriends, on the other hand, you 
can be picky," Tenma said.  "I love lots of people, but in 
different ways.  You don't love...the bush who made your 
seeds the way you love the gardener who takes care of you, 
right?"

	There was a silence.  "Right."

	"Eri and Mikoto and Akira are like sisters to me, and 
Kenji is like a brother.  I trust them, and I love them, but it's 
not the same as how I love my parents or how I love Ooji-
kun, or how I love my other friends."  Tenma smiled at the 
bush.  "You have other beings you love, right?"

	"Right," he said.

	"And you don't love them all the same, do you?"

	"Bushes are taught there's just one kind of love," the 
bush mumbled.  "Not a lot of kinds."

	"Well, I'm teaching you different," Tenma said, 
waggling a finger.  "There's many different kinds, as I'm 
sure you'll learn when you get older, little bush."

	After a pause, the bush said, "Maybe I will.  I'll have 
to think on this."

	"Glad to be of help.  Have fun...umm...pollinating!"  
She waved and wandered off.

************

	Eri passed through an intersection, and far off, saw 
Yakumo passing through another intersection down the 
hall, going the same way as her.  

	Is she following me, Eri wondered.  Maybe she has no 
idea where Kenji is, and now she's stalking me, hoping I'll 
lead her to him.

	Or maybe she's out to kiss me again, Eri thought, 
blushing a little.  She kept 'accidentally' kissing boy-me, 
and then she kissed girl-me, and...

	Eri found herself walking faster.  Yet, Yakumo was 
down the hallway at the next intersection, also crossing an 
intersection.  

	Eri reversed course, and glanced and saw YAKUMO 
HAD REVERSED COURSE TOO.  She's probably 
somehow reading my mind through the walls, Eri thought.

	I'll throw her off by going to the gardens, then 
resuming my search.  

	Eri hurried to the gardens, and saw Tenma wandering 
around, enjoying the sights; she was all alone.

	But now, Yakumo came out of another door and 
started towards Tenma, even as Eri approached.

	They paused, looked at each other, then turned and 
ran, even as Tenma said, "Eri-chan, Yakumo-chan!"

	Tenma paused and sniffed under her arms.  I smell 
fresh, she thought.  So what's wrong?

************

	Eri ran around a corner.  Can't let her catch me, can't 
let her...

	WHAM.

	She crashed into Mikoto and they toppled to the floor 
with Eri's face buried in Mikoto's breasts.  Eri froze up a 
moment, then leaped to her feet.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I 
didn't mean anythng, just an accident!"

	Mikoto sat up.  "I'm okay, just kind of stunned.  You 
okay?"

	Not a boy anymore, Eri thought.  So it's not as bad if I 
touch someone's breasts.  So big...Hanai is a lucky 
man...no, don't think like that.  Eri shook her head hard.  
"Fine."

	"Why are you running?" Mikoto asked.

	"Nothing.  Not trying to lose Yakumo at all."  Eri 
shivered.  Maybe I'd better run again.  

	Mikoto stood up.  "Are you trying to find Harima 
before she can?"

	"She's following me," Eri muttered.  "Trying to kiss 
me again."

	"You kissed her, you know."

	"Those were accidents!" Eri protested.

	"I suppose kissing Girl-Harima was an accident too," 
Mikoto said.

	After a bit, Eri mumbled, "Not entirely."

	"Well, kissing girl-Haruki wasn't all that different 
from kissing boy-Haruki," Mikoto said.  Other than the 
weird groin feelings and feeling awkward, anyway.  "But 
really, I think Yakumo just likes Harima, not you.  Not like 
that."

	"No one can resist my lips once they've tasted them," 
Eri said stubbornly.

	Mikoto sighed.  "So why isn't Harima chasing you, 
then?"

	"He doesn't know what's good for him," Eri said, 
finally.

	"Look, you're all worked up.  Why don't we go play 
some basketball or something and you can relax?" Mikoto 
asked.

	"I'll kick your ass," Eri said.

	"Man, that sounds just like Harima," Mikoto said.  "I 
don't sound like Hanai, do I?"

	"Not self-righteous enough," Eri said.  "But you're 
right.  I need to maintain some degree of dignity.  Let's go 
play basketball."

**************	

	Yakumo ran around a corner.  I think I lost her, she 
thought.  She wasn't sure why Sawachika-sempai was 
following her, but probably Sawachika-sempai had decided 
to solve the situation by seducing her.  

	She came around a corner and found Sara and Asou 
kissing.  She turned to go, but Sara broke off the kiss, 
saying, "Hello, Yakumo-chan."

	"Are you here to..." Asou began, then suddenly looked 
embarrassed and fell silent.  She could feel his mind, 
though.  He thought she was out to kiss Sara.

	Which, if she was going to kiss a girl, she'd rather kiss 
Sara than Eri.  If Onna-Kenji wasn't available, anyway.  
"I'm not here to kiss Sara, I'm here to find Kenji."

	"Haven't seen him," Asou said.

	"He's probably fighting with Lord Harima," Sara said.  
"Or looking for you.  Maybe you should stay in one place 
until he comes by."

	"But he might not come by," Asou said.  "Have you 
tried the library?"

	"I don't think he would be there," Yakumo said.  She 
sighed.  "I'll see you later."

	"We could help you look," Sara said.

	"I'm sure she'd rather go see her boyfriend without 
anyone else hanging over her," Asou said.

	"True," Sara said a little sadly.  "See you later."

	Yakumo waved and took off.

************

	Eri now ran into Akira again.  Otoko-Akira and 
Otoko-Ninja Master Akira were playing chess with their 
Naras cheering them on.  "Have you seen..."

	"He's gone to his room to think, asked to not be 
disturbed," Otoko-Akira said.  "So please don't."

	NM Akira's fingers hovered over a knight, then moved 
away to a rook.  "He looked abnormally thoughtful.  Don't 
ruin something unique."  

	Eri smiled slightly at that.  "I'll try not to, then," she 
said.  He must be trying to sort through his head after 
everything.  And Kenji actually THINKING...that had to be 
encouraged.

************

	The next morning, the stargate turned out to be two 
huge, runed rings of metal which interlocked in a giant 
circle, along with a sort of giant metal mushroom with 
funky runes for controls.  The Archmagus quickly punched 
a series of runes and the rings rotated, then the circle flared 
with white light.

	"Just step through, and you'll be in your world," the 
Archmagus said.

	"You SURE of that?" Harima asked dubiously.

	"Yes," the Archimagus lied.  Since the gate was one-
way, they couldn't come back and kick his butt THIS time, 
anyway.

	"Then let's go!" Sagano said, taking Fuyuki by the 
hand and waving to all the Defenders, who had come to say 
farewell.  "BANZAI!"  She ran through the gate with him.

	"Study these books," Witch Yakumo said, handing 
them to Yakumo.  "They should help with your powers."

	"Thank you."

	"And these should help you," Sorceress Eri said, 
passing several books to Eri.  

	"Thank you," Eri said.  "Do you really think it will 
work back home?"

	"Well, my magic worked in your world...so why not?"

	"True," Eri said.  "We'll see, I guess."

	"Just remember," Lord Harima said to Harima, "Never 
let them see you sweat."

	That was good advice.  "Thanks.  Good luck with your 
girlfriends."

	Lord Harima laughed nervously.  "They're not my 
girlfriends."

	Yes, they are, Onna-Harima said to Harima in his 
head.  And you have to decide what to do about yours.

	Harima didn't pay attention; he just didn't want to 
think right now.

	"Come on, everyone, let's get going," Tani-sensei said.  
"Before something explodes."

	Yuri stood near him, nervously, wondering what 
would happen next.  She couldn't stay, but she didn't want 
to go, go back to a normal boring life.

	The three of them went through last; she held onto 
Tanisa's arm like a lifeline.

	It was only when the green-clad men on the other end 
brandished guns at them that she realized things wouldn't 
be going back to normal, yet.

***********

	Imadori scrambled out of bed to the phone, trying to 
not wake Mai up.  "Hello?" he asked.

	"Imadori-kun," Mikoto said.  "We're all under arrest at 
Cheyanne Mountain.  You have to get us a lawyer!"

	"Wait...did all you people run off to the US without 
me?" Imadori said.  "If you were in a bikini and I missed 
it..."

	"We need a lawyer, Imadori-kun," Mikoto said.  "I'm 
counting on you," she said, trying to sound seductive.

	She's counting on ME, he thought.  Miko-chin is 
counting on ME!  He was so happy.  "Did you all get 
busted drinking or something?"

	"It's a long story, but we're under arrest inside a US 
military base and..."

	"..."

	"I know.  Don't tell my parents, okay?"

	"But shouldn't they..."

	"I'm already dead, but they'll REALLY kill me over 
this," Mikoto said mournfully.  "Just get us a lawyer, 
okay?"

	"Okay," he said.  "But it's 1 AM here."

	"Dammit!  It's 9 AM here."

	"I'll call you one in the morning, okay?"

	"Okay," Mikoto said.  "Just do not forget."

	"I will NEVER forget," Imadori said.  "I'll call right 
away in the morning."

	"Thanks, you're a life-saver," Mikoto said.  

	"You really probably should have called your parents, 
though," he said.

	"I'll take my beating when I'm out of jail."

	"Okay, see you...well, I'll make the call for you in the 
morning.  I can afford to be late."

	"Thanks."

	"Goodnight...morning...whatever."

	"See ya!"

	Imadori went back to sleep.

***********

	In the morning, as he crawled out of bed, he was 
surprised to find an army of angry women armed with 
bowls of pecans; they began to pelt him.

	"No...PECANS!"  Like Superman before Kryptonite, 
he was driven towards the window.  "No, stop, I have to 
call a lawyer for Miko-chin!"

	"We've had enough of your rule of our class!  Your 
power ends now!" Kozue shouted.

	"Mai-chan, help me!"

	But Mai was fully dressed and throwing pecans at 
him.  "Sorry, Imadori, but I don't forget and forgive that 
easily.  THIS IS MY VENGEANCE!"

	"Traitor!" he shouted as he was forced to leap out the 
window in his underwear to escape the hideous, evil 
pecans.

	"Victory!" Madoka shouted, leaping after him, still 
throwing pecans.

	"What was that about a lawyer for Mikoto?" Kozue 
asked.

	"Some lie he made up no doubt," Mai said.  "LET'S 
CRUSH HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	Imadori exited, stage left, screaming.

End Chapter.