This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 16:  Lady Harima And The Quest For the Holy 
Belt

By John Biles

****************

	They rose the next morning and headed off to the 
capital.  It was going to be a fairly long trip, which had 
Hanai rather worried about what would happen to Miki and 
Masahiro back home.  He decided to consult with an 
expert.

	"Excuse me," he said to Witch Yakumo, trying to not 
think about how she looked like his Yakumo who wasn't 
HIS Yakumo, but someone else's Yakumo as he was dating 
Mikoto now.  "Anyway you could send a message back to 
our home dimension for me?"

	It was only now, talking to her, that he realized 
something; Yakumo always shied away from him, but 
Witch Yakumo did not.  He wondered why.  She said, "I 
could try, but it's not reliable."

	"I need to let friends know to take my Dad home and 
that we're in another dimension," he said.

	"I can set up the cauldron when we stop for lunch," 
she said.  "We'll have to...umm..."  Now she looked 
embarrassed, more like his...his world's Yakumo.  "Dance 
naked," she mumbled.

	"..."

	"The really potent stuff requires taking a lot or all of 
my clothing off, so I don't use it very much," she mumbled, 
staring at the ground.

	Witch Yakumo wants me naked, his brain thought.  
He promptly overheated and fell over.

	"Oh dear," she said.

****************

	Sagano looked curiously at the ring of blankets being 
put up at one end of their camp as they got ready to eat 
lunch.  "What is that?" she asked.

	"Witch Yakumo has to do some naked rite with Suou," 
Lord Fuyuki said.

	"..."  Even for Sagano, this was just too much.

	"Hanai apparently couldn't even handle the thought of 
the rite," he continued.  

	"What exactly is this rite?" Sagano asked.

	"Sending a message to Earth so people know we're 
okay," Yuuki said.  

	"But she can't send us all that way?" Sagano asked.  
Not that she wanted to go back to school yet.  She was 
hoping for a few more quests before leaving.  Kicking ass 
ruled.

	"It just sends images and sound," Lord Fuyuki said.  "I 
think."

	"Won't that send images of them naked?" Sagano 
asked.

	"Fine by me if they make fools of themselves," Yuuki 
grumbled.

*************

	Miki and Masahiro were feeling extremely worried.  
They were also getting tired of poking Mr. Hanai with a 
stick, amusing as it was.

	The appearance of naked twins was extremely 
confusing to them.  Both of them looked rather 
embarrassed.  "We have a message for you from Hanai and 
Suou and Gonzales," one of them, the calmer one, said.  
"They're not sure how soon they'll be able to get back, as 
they are stuck in another universe.  You should take Mr. 
Hanai back to Tokyo."  	

	Mr. Hanai sighed.  "IDIOT.  I am going to ground him 
for life for trying to elope to another universe with both 
women!"

	The quieter woman looked embarrassed and tried to 
turn to hide most of her body.  "Let everyone know we'll be 
back as soon as we can, okay?"

	"Why are you naked?" Masahiro asked in confusion.

	"It takes huge amounts of magical energy to transmit 
this message, so only nudity will do," the calmer of the 
twins said.

	"I...anything we can do to help?" Miki asked 
nervously.

	"Just go home and be safe," the nervous one said.

	"Okay," Miki said.  "Take care of them for us, okay?"

	The calm one nodded; the nervous one didn't seem too 
happy to be asked to do that.  And then they vanished.

	"Did we really just..." Miki began.

	"I think we're getting in over our heads," Masahiro 
said.  "Alright, let's take him home."

	"Going to untie me?" Mr. Hanai asked.

	"I didn't say THAT."

*************

	Tani-sensei said, "Did you find something?"

	Yuuki and Sagano had taken up the duty of scouting 
again.  "Herpes," Sagano said.  "Could be bad."

	"..."

	Yuri said, "What, giant VD monsters?"

	Tae-sensei said, "And I don't have any sort of 
medication, either."  She frowned.

	"The bird-women things.  They sing and everyone gets 
hypnotized, then eaten," Sagano said.

	"Oh, HARPIES," Sorceress Eri said.

	"You'd know," Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	"Bite me," Sorceress Eri said.

	"Now, now, no need to fight each other," Sagano said.  
"You should kiss and make up."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAA."

	"I'm guessing there are maybe 15 or 20 of them," 
Yuuki said.  "I'm thinking maybe we could counter-sing 
them, though it would be easier if we had the rest of our 
band."

	"We could sing 'I'd like to teach the world to sing'," 
Tae-sensei suggested.

	"We don't need to look like a living soda commercial," 
Tani-sensei said.  "We could sing the school fight song.  
Almost all of us know that, right?"

	There was a great and terrible silence.

	"We could sing '2-D sucks', over and over," Sagano 
suggested.

	"National anthem?" Hanai suggested.

	Enough people nodded that they decided to go with 
that.  Fortunately, the lyrics were short and easy to teach to 
the non-Japanese among them.

	They marched forward, singing " Kimi ga yo wa / 
Chiyo ni yachiyo ni / Sazare ishi no / Iwao to nari te / Koke 
no musu made," which translates as "May the reign of the 
Emperor continue for a thousand, nay, eight thousand 
generations and for the eternity that it takes for small 
pebbles to grow into a great rock and become covered with 
moss."  

	They sang this over and over.  Unfortunately, none of 
them really had the right talents to countermagic Harpy 
Songs.  Fortunately, their terrible performance of the 
national anthem of Japan irritated the delicate musical 
sensibilities of the harpies to the point where they fled 
without a fight to avoid going MAD.

************

	Yuuki and Sagano crept forward along the path, only 
to find something very strange--there was a wide dirt path, 
perfectly smooth, through the forest.  It was strangely 
precisely flat for a dirt path.  Nothing grew on it at all, and 
the top looked slightly glazed.  Yuuki kneeled and sniffed 
it.  It smelled very slightly like lemon and sugar.

	"Did someone pave this road with lemonade?" Yuuki 
asked in confusion.

	"We'd better consult."

	They headed back to pick the brains of the natives.  
Ninja Master Akira said, "Perhaps it is the trail of a giant 
slug."

	"Which smells of lemonade?" Yuuki asked.

	"A magical lemonade oozing giant slug," NM Akira 
said.

	"Someone may just have spilled a decanter of endless 
lemonade," Martial Artist Mikoto pointed out.

	"Well, it's just a road; it sounds harmless," Masked 
Wrestler Laladora said.

	Lala was too busy getting snuggly with Martial Artist 
Hanai to comment.

	"AHAH!" Nara said.  "I know what it is!"

	"Go on?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"There were these monsters in a video game; they 
looked like chests, but when you tried to open them, they 
tried to eat you.  This could be a road equivalent," he said.

	After much discussion, they decided to take no 
chances.  The road would DIE.

	The road got hit by fireballs, lightning, angry animals, 
multiple swords glowing with energy, gunfire, buckets of 
holy water, and several exploding pinecones.  Soon, it was 
chewed up into a wet muddy pit of death.

	Lady Harima and Onna-Harima crept up and poked it 
with sticks.  "We kicked its muddy ass," Lady Harima said.

	"Dig for treasure!" Onna-Harima said.

	Soon, they were all digging around with shovels 
making a mess of themselves.  When the scent of lemon 
grew stronger, only Ninja Master Akira noticed, grabbing 
Cabana Boy Nara and leaping into the trees. And then it 
was on them, a huge shimmering lightly yellow cube; it 
began charging into people and sucking them inside to 
begin choking; its gelatinous body resisted any attempt to 
escape.  Asou, Lala, Martial Artist Hanai, Sara, Witch 
Yakumo, and Nara got sucked in and paralyzed on the first 
attack.

	"We're under attack by jello!" Sagano shouted.  She 
jumped at it, sword flashing with lightning.  This cut it 
open, but her momentum carried her inside, and she ended 
up paralyzed.

	Otoko-Eri grabbed Tenma and got her back out of the 
way; she wanted to snipe, but feared to hit a friend.

	Tani-sensei, Yuri, and Tae-sensei began slashing at it, 
opening cuts from which lemonade scented paralysis 
poison leaked.  Witch Yakumo whistled up a bear, while 
Yakumo wished she had learned enough to do something 
effective.

	The Harimas began punching it and quickly ended up 
paralyzed and stuck to the outside.

	Akira jumped up to Ninja Master Akira.  "You know 
these things.  How do I save Nara?"

	"Do enough damage and it falls apart.  Also, enough 
heat and it will melt," Ninja Master Akira said.

	With Cabana Boy Nara, they began throwing sticks 
onto it, then Ninja Master Akira lit it with a grenade.  The 
fire quickly went out as the creature began to dissolve, but 
now it began to come apart, pouring paralytic poison 
everywhere.

	Otoko-Eri, dragging Tenma, managed to outrun the 
tide, and Hanai and Mikoto and Martial Artist Mikoto 
managed to scramble into trees; just about everyone else 
ended up paralyzed.

	"Well, let's hope nothing finds us," Mikoto said.

	"I don't see anything else in the area," Hanai said.

	Down below, Tenma felt flushed, hiding in Otoko-
Eri's strong arms.  She could feel her heart pound and she 
told it not to be stupid, this was her friend Eri and not really 
a guy.  But he was just so cool and romantic and...

	She began banging her head on a tree.  "Out, bad 
thoughts!"

	"No, don't hurt yourself," Otoko-Eri said, making her 
stop.  "What are you doing?"

	"Nothing," Tenma mumbled.

	"You'll hurt yourself," Otoko-Eri said, dusting her 
head off.  

	"I'm fine, let's go help rescue the stuck people," 
Tenma said, turning to run off.

	Otoko-Eri wondered what was going on with her.  He 
went and pulled the Harimas out of the gunk, pausing to 
briefly make a face at the paralyzed sorceress Eri.  She left 
Lady Harima by that Eri, and dragged Onna-Harima to the 
nearby stream.  Then he threw her in.

	This washed the gunk off and revived her, but left her 
angry.  "Now my clothing is all wet and I don't have 
anything else to wear!  AND I AM SICK OF BEING A 
WOMAN AND WEARING DRESSES," Onna-Harima 
shouted, shaking her body in rage.

	Otoko-Eri tried not to watch her body move with 
fascination, but it was too much for him.  His eyes crossed 
as he studied how the dress now clung to her and...

	He made himself turn around.  "It's all Sorceress Eri's 
fault.  She COULD turn us back."

	"She's so stupid!" Onna-Harima said, now shaking 
herself like a cat.

	"Amen," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Well, I'd better go find Yakumo-san," Onna-Harima 
said.  "I think she got caught in all that."

	"She knows," Otoko-Eri said softly.  "How you feel 
about Tenma."

	Onna-Harima stared at the ground.  "She wants to 
marry Karasuma.  I lost.  I've got to move on."

	"So...are you going to date Yakumo for real now?  Or 
what?" Otoko-Eri asked, feeling a mixture of fear and hope.

	"I don't know," she said.  "I ain't good at talking about 
feelings."

	"You are really a boy," Otoko-Eri said.  "Even if you 
make a hot woman."  Pause.  "I didn't really say that."

	"You're not bad as a guy," Onna-Harima said.  "I 
mean, I might even think you're hot if I was into guys, 
which I am NOT.  It's just...being fair.  Yeah."

	There was a silence.  

	"This is making me crazy," Onna-Harima said.

	"Yeah, let's go help Yakumo," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Yeah, let's."

*************
	
	Yakumo pulled Onna-Harima aside at dinnertime.  
She had to ask.  "Kenji-kun," she said softly as they sat 
under a tree with their stew.

	"Yes, Yakumo-san?" he asked.

	"Do you...are we...I mean..."  She fell silent and ate, 
afraid to try to read her thoughts and not knowing what to 
say.

	"I don't know," Onna-Harima said, eating her stew.  "I 
was...well, you know.  I thought..."  She fell silent again, 
eating quietly.

	They sat, squirming uncomfortably and eating to avoid 
speaking.

	"Kenji-kun, how do you feel about me?" she finally 
blurted out.

	"You're my partner and one of my very best friends," 
Onna-Harima said. "Oh man, we are going to be 
SCREWED trying to make our next deadline!"

	Yakumo could feel the panic coming off her.  "But 
you don't..."

	"I've had Tenma on my mind," Onna-Harima said.  "I 
just...I don't know what to tell you.  And I can feel all these 
weird thoughts in my head from being a girl."  

	She turned and looked into Yakumo's eyes.  "How do 
you all keep from going crazy?"

	Yakumo could read the mental turmoil easily; she 
wondered if this meant she was more important to Kenji 
now or if her power was growing stronger.  She nervously 
put a hand on Onna-Harima's shoulder.  She's so pretty, 
Yakumo thought.  I wish I could be that pretty.  "I drink a 
lot of tea."

	"Does it help?" Onna-Harima asked.  "Make all 
these...I don't want to think about men!"  She was getting 
frantic.

	Yakumo licked her lips nervously.  "Well, umm, do 
you think I'm pretty?"

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said.

	"Well, you could...think about how pretty I am.  When 
you get woman thoughts.  As it's a guy thought to...think 
about me, right?"  She felt herself getting very nervous.

	"Hmm, that might work," Onna-Harima said, closing 
her eyes.  When she opened them, she seemed calmer.  
"Yeah, I feel more like a guy already."

	Yakumo patted her shoulder.  "Why don't we go see 
Takano-sempai and get some tea?"

	"Yeah, let's," Onna-Harima said, rising and heading 
off with her to see Akira.

************

	Tani-sensei screwed up his courage.  This was going 
to be hideously uncomfortable, but it had to be done.  He 
rose from where he and Tae and Yuri were eating.  "I've got 
to go talk to Sawachika," he said.

	"You do?" Yuri asked.

	"He'll be a guy a while and there's some guy things...," 
Tani-sensei began.

	"Are you going to tell him about sex?" Tae asked.

	"..."  So blunt, he thought.  "I...well...he's a guy and he 
has guy hormones and..."

	"Surely he can't...already...," Yuri said hesitantly.

	"You should see him and Harima-san," Tani-Sensei 
said.  

	"True," Tae said.  "We could come with you and 
demonstrate..." she teased.

	Tani-sensei's eyes crossed.  "No, not wise, I think."

	"Good luck," Yuri said.

	"Yeah, I'll need it," Tani-sensei mumbled, then headed 
over to where Tenma, Akira, Mikoto, and Otoko-Eri were 
eating with Nara and Hanai.  Tani-sensei said, "Sawachika-
san, we should talk."

	"What?  Okay, sensei," Otoko-Eri said, confused.  He 
followed Tani-sensei off to one side of the camp.  

	Tani-sensei found them a log to sit down on, then tried 
to figure out how to start.  "Well, normally, your parents 
would tell you about all this, but since they couldn't 
anticipate you turning into a boy..."  HE certainly couldn't 
have.

	Otoko-Eri laughed nervously.  "Are you about to tell 
me about sex?  Because I'm not going to try and do any of 
that while I'm a boy."

	"You and Harima..." he began.

	"I'm not into women!" Otoko-Eri protested 
desperately.

	"I know you like him when you're a woman, and I 
have a feeling that carries over," Tani-sensei said, 
squirming a little.  He hated to press this, but it was his 
duty as a teacher.  "It would be wisest if you avoided doing 
anything, as I can't even...well, there's always the risk of 
pregnancy and..."

	Smoke came out of Otoko-Eri's ears.

	"I know, I know," he said.  "But we have to 
contemplate the risk."

	"I couldn't...I shouldn't...I mean..."  Otoko-Eri tried to 
get control.  He shouldn't be so flustered in public.  "I see a 
pretty girl and..."

	"That's arousal," Tani-sensei said.  "On your..."

	"Yes," Otoko-Eri said quickly.  

	"Yes.  I assume you know the basic theory?"

	"My parents were too embarrassed to discuss such 
things, but yes," Otoko-Eri said.  Or so he hoped.  Really, 
he hardly knew anything at all.  But if he couldn't get out of 
this, at least he would know what was going on, later.

	"Hmm, they probably use magical birth control in this 
universe, but as you probably know, it's important to use 
birth control to avoid getting anyone pregnant," Tani-sensei 
said, relaxing as he went into didactic mode.  
"Unfortunately, condoms may not be available here, but the 
basic principle is like this..."

	Tani-sensei began explaining how to use a condom, 
while Otoko-Eri tried to not become too embarrassed.  
When he finished Otoko-Eri asked, "So what are you three 
doing about....this?"

	There was a moment of silence.

	Then Tani-sensei looked hideously embarrassed.  "I 
hadn't even thought about it until now."

	Otoko-Eri fell off his log laughing.

	"Don't laugh at me, I'm a teacher!"

	"Those who can, do, those who can't...teach...," Otoko-
Eri mumbled, laughing more.

	He frowned, trying to take control.  "Alright, we have 
to figure out what to do, but it is an issue.  Just imagine if 
you got Harima-san pregnant."

	Otoko-Eri felt his brain spin.  "That...I..."

	"Exactly," Tani-sensei said.  "Wouldn't be very fun, 
now would it?"

	"No," he mumbled.

	"Anyway, I will make some discreet inquiries and see 
if I can find out anything about...magical birth control.  Not 
that someone your age should be having sex, anyway," he 
said.

	"Should teachers be having threesomes?" Otoko-Eri 
said a little irritably.

	"This is not a school trip," he said.  "We can do what 
we want on our own time."  And given how crazy our 
principal is, he'd probably just appoint us sex ed teachers, 
Tani-sensei thought.

	Otoko-Eri could feel the contrary part of his soul 
wanting to go jump Onna-Kenji right this second, but he 
tamped it down, even though various other soul bits chimed 
in agreement.  I'm not going to be like Imadori, he told 
himself as his eyes started to track Lala's movements off 
across the camp.

	Tani-sensei rambled on with Otoko-Eri half-listening, 
and half-grumping inside his head.  This would be more 
useful if he was going to tell me how to...  Otoko-Eri shook 
his head.  No, I don't WANT to know how to do it well. 
And really, I'm a woman, right?  Shouldn't I be able to 
figure out how to please a woman better than a man could, 
anyway?

	Of course.  He just had to imagine what he wanted 
done to himself when he was a woman.  Except he didn't 
know all that much, beyond how to touch himself and you 
didn't start with that anyway, he was pretty sure from TV, 
that was kind of towards the end and how exactly did you 
aim and really, he shouldn't be thinking about this.

	By the end, Otoko-Eri was far more embarrassed than 
before.  Well, at least it's not a woman telling me, he 
thought, so I can't embarrass myself THAT way.

**************

	"We should talk," Tae-sensei said to Onna-Harima, 
taking her aside to a quiet spot.

	"You're not gonna jump on me, are you?" Onna-
Harima said nervously.  "I'm still trying to get over...stuff."

	"No, I have a...lovers, now," she said to Onna-Harima.  
"Though I'll always be fond of you."

	Instead, she found them a large rock to sit on by the 
nearby stream.  "I've seen how you and Sawachika keep 
looking at each other, and I think it's important to give you 
the talk."

	"..."  

	"Now, when a woman loves a man..."

	"I'm not a woman!" Onna-Harima protested.  "If that 
idiot Sorceress Eri would only turn me back or if my own 
stupid Eri hadn't transformed me in the first place, I 
wouldn't be stuck in this stupid dress!  Also, I need another 
dress, this one is getting dirty!  And my body feels all 
weird and I hate it."

	"I know the feeling.  It's an awkward time of life.  
Hmm.  You haven't been bleeding, have you?" Tae-sensei 
asked.

	"Just from the fighting."  Onna-Harima paused.  
"Bleeding?  I'm going to bleed???"

	"Well, yes."  Tae-sensei explained menstruation to 
Onna-Harima, who looked progressively closer to 
exploding atomically.

	"THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?" she 
shrieked, finally, drawing stares.

	"Well, it's not that bad," Tae-sensei said.

	Onna-Harima rose like an angel of death.  "It's killing 
time.  I'm a woman, I can beat the crap out of another 
woman."

	"Weren't you asserting your masculinity earlier?" Tae 
asked.

	"That was then, this is now."  She started to charge, 
but Tae tripped her, then tried to hold her back; this wasn't 
easy, and they ended up with her hobbling towards 
Sorceress-Eri with Tae trailing from one leg.

	Sorceress-Eri looked up from eating with Martial 
Artist Mikoto and Ninja Master Akira and Cabana Boy 
Nara.  "Yes?" she asked.

	"Turn me back to a man now!" Onna-Harima said. "Or 
I will WHIP YOUR ASS!"

	"You need to learn more about women," she said.  
"And if you hit me, well, what kind of man hits a woman?"

	Onna-Harima froze.  "I'm a woman right now, 
though."

	"Ahh, accepting your femininity.  A good start," 
Sorceress Eri said.

	"I AM NOT!"

	"So you are a guy who wants to hit women," Sorceress 
Eri said.

	"NO!  STOP TWISTING ME INTO KNOTS!"  Onna-
Harima was about to just berserk.

	"Well, either you are a woman all the way through 
now, or you're a guy who hits women," Sorcress Eri said.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"  Onna-Harima, not 
able to face either of those, turned and ran off.

	"Nicely done," Ninja Master Akira said.

	"I think the joke's gone too far; you really should turn 
them back," Martial Artist Mikoto said.

	Yakumo saw a frustrated Onna-Harima running 
screaming; she and Otoko-Eri both took off after her, 
running into the woods.  

	Tae-sensei, who had been shaken loose, rose up and 
chased after her.  "Come back, we didn't even get to sex 
yet!" causing many to stare.

	Sagano rose, planning to start a giant riot; it seemed 
like the thing to do, but Yuuki pulled her back.  "Let them 
go," Yuuki said quietly.

	"Awww," Sagano said, but she didn't fight it.

	I should have just stayed alone in the wilderness, not 
even bothered trying to rescue anyone, Onna-Harima 
thought as she ran.  I'd be alone but at least I wouldn't feel 
so confused.

	She's gonna run off a cliff or something, and we're 
gonna end up in a river again, Otoko-Eri thought.

	Kenji-kun, come back!, Yakumo thought as she ran, 
stumbling over roots.

	Yakumo had a harder time keeping up, not that Otoko-
Eri could keep up either.  

	It made matters worse when Eri proved prophetic and 
Onna-Harima ran off a cliff.  She got a good fifty feet into 
the air before she realized it, then began to plummet.

	Otoko-Eri saw Onna-Harima plummet into the mists 
and sighed.  Here we go again.  He dived after her.

	Yakumo reached the edge of the cliff and saw them 
falling.  She gulped, feeling fear.  But she couldn't leave 
him behind, so she jumped as well.

	All three of them eventually were found downstream, 
waterlogged and unconscious, and dragged back to camp 
by a grumpy Tani-sensei and a less grumpy and more 
worried Tae-sensei.

**************
	
	"Am I dead?" Onna-Harima asked when she woke up 
with her head in Tae-sensei's lap.

	"No, but you are dry, I hope.  I had to strip you and 
dress you in fresh clothing," Tae-sensei said.

	"There's fresh clothing????" Onna-Harima said, 
realizing she was naked inside multiple blankets.

	"Yes," Tae-sensei said.  "I'll let you pick some stuff."

	"Where did it come from?"

	"Loot from a cross-dressing troll at the temple," Tae-
sensei said.

	"..."

	"Anyway, we should talk," Tae-sensei said.  "I think 
you have a little better idea of the depths of your feelings 
after that, right?"

	A better idea of how much falling off a cliff hurts, 
anyway, Onna-Harima thought.  "Can't you just use your 
teacher authority to make that idiot turn us back to 
normal?"

	"Welll..."  Tae-sensei sighed.  "She tried, but it didn't 
work."

	"..."

	"Apparently, Sawachika put so much power into it, it's 
going to take a master magus to undo it," Tae-sensei said, 
sighing.

	"I'm gonna have to kill him."

	Tae-sensei sighed.  "Anyway, I need to definitely tell 
you about how to deal with everything."

	Onna-Harima was too drained to fight for now.  "Fire 
away."

	It was a long talk which left her head spinning when 
she finally drifted off to sleep.

**************
	
	Otoko-Eri woke up with his head on Tenma's lap and 
Mikoto lurking nervously next to him.  "You okay?" 
Mikoto asked.

	"I'm fine," Otoko-Eri said.  And dry in different 
clothing.  "Who dressed me?" he asked in a panic.

	"Tani-sensei did," Tenma said.  "I offered to help, 
but..."

	Otoko-Eri winced.  "I'm a guy right now."  He sighed.  
Apparently an insane one.  

	"We have...bad news."

	"Lemme guess, they can't turn us back?" Otoko-Eri 
speculated; he could feel the grip of doom.

	"Uhh...yeah."

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  Why did I ever do this?  I must be 
insane.  No wonder I had so many fights with Kenji.  I must 
drive him nuts.

	He sat up and yawned.  "Great, I wake up in time for 
bed."

	"Yeah," Mikoto said.  "I'm gonna go..."

	"Rumble Hanai, yes," Otoko-Eri said, frowning.  
"We'll be fine here."

	"Okay, see you tomorrow!" And she took off.

	Tenma sighed.  "I'm so jealous."

	"No one in their right mind should be jealous of 
someone dating Hanai," Otoko-Eri said, lying back down.  
He felt snappish.

	"I...Eri-chan, normally, I'd support you, but I don't 
know what to do.  I mean, Yakumo is my sister and I want 
her to be happy," Tenma said, lying down herself.  "But I 
just...he can't date both of you and I don't want to see you 
fight or have to root against you."

	"Kenji-kun is a big stupid woman right now who 
jumps off cliffs, no good for either of us," Otoko-Eri said.

	"That's our Kenji-kun," Tenma said fondly.  "But 
really, you love her, don't you?"

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  "Yes.  Even like this.  And it's 
'him'.  I'm not a boy on the inside yet and he's not a girl."  
He kept telling himself that.

	"You make a pretty cute, attractive guy," Tenma said, 
blushing a little.

	"Don't tell me that," Otoko-Eri grumbled.  

	"Brave and strong, handsome..."  Tenma continued to 
sing Eri's praises.

	I hope she doesn't have a crush on me, Otoko-Eri 
thought.  

 	Stop thinking about Eri that way, Tenma told herself.  
I have a sort of hopeful boyfriend!  MUST THINK OF 
KARASUMA.  

*****************

	Karasuma sat up, sneezing.  He hoped someone was 
thinking of him and that he wasn't getting a cold from 
camping.  At least the three of them had tents.  

	Fuyuki looked over at him.  "You okay?"

	"Just worried," Karasuma said, lying back down.

	"It's gonna be fine," Fuyuki said.  "Our classmates are 
too destructive to die."

	Karasuma hoped he was correct.  He just hoped very 
strongly that Tenma was still okay and that he hadn't 
wrecked everything.  But surely taking Karen and Fuyuki 
away from the class couldn't lead to anything bad.

*************
	
	Having had the homeroom period changed to a sex ed 
class (to be taught by a flustered Mai) and having 
convinced the Principal that a scantier uniform was 
necessary for this class, Imadori was on top of the world.  
His plan to replace math with Doujibiron class wasn't 
working out yet, but it was only a matter of time.

	Mai was about ready to explode; she was making good 
ground on seducing him, but she didn't really WANT to 
succeed.  But there was no other way around it, though she 
knew Karen would kill her whenever she showed up again.  
Assuming half the class wasn't dead, which she was 
starting to wonder about.

	Unnoticed by either of them, several of the minor 
female characters, however, were busy plotting an end to 
Imadori's reign of error.  For now, they will remain 
swathed in shadow...

***************
	
	Onna-Harima awoke from confused dreams to find 
something warm cuddled up to her.  If Lady Harima was 
hugging her in the night, she was going to have to lay down 
some smack again.

	Fortunately, Lady Harima had left and instead, 
Yakumo was cuddled up to her.  It felt kind of nice, and 
even though she had a feeling letting Yakumo stay would 
be to make promises she wasn't ready to keep, she didn't 
say anything.  It was kind of comforting to know Yakumo 
still thought of her as a man.  

	She did, right?  Surely Yakumo didn't like her better 
this way.  But Yakumo had never snuck into her bed when 
she was a guy.  No, it couldn't be true!  She was a lesbian?  
But why did she go out with me before?  Or was it to hide 
being a lesbian?

	But wait...I like girls, so right now, I'm a lesbian.  She 
tried to remember the stuff Tae-sensei had told her.  There 
had been something about lesbians and no shame in loving 
a woman or something.  And...and things she'd only 
listened to without dying of embarrassment because of how 
tired she was.

	Only now, she couldn't even remember half of them, 
other than...  Her eyes crossed.  He'd never thought about a 
woman doing THAT to him before, but the idea was kind 
of sexy.  A woman doing that to male Harima, not her 
doing it to a guy even if it was Eri who was really a girl and 
NOT GOING THERE.

	Now she felt utterly flushed and confused.  Maybe I'd 
better wake Tae-sensei up and get her to explain everything 
again.  Would it even fit there, anyway?  No way to 
measure dimensions right now.

	Carefully, she disentangled herself from Yakumo, 
patted her on the forehead and slipped out.

	Lady Harima was tied upside down to a tree for no 
clear reason and was asleep, Onna-Harima saw.  She was 
only surprised it had taken this long.  She's so much more 
obnoxious than me, Onna-Harima thought.  Being the evil 
bearded me.  Though not bearded right now.

	THANKFULLY.

	She crept through the camp, blissfully unaware that 
Hanai, Mikoto, Akira and Nara were on watch duty and 
spotted her heading for the teacher tent. The four of them 
looked at each other and crept after her, despite Hanai 
saying they really shouldn't spy.  Yet, he led the way.

	She gently tugged the tent door open, trying to figure 
out how to wake up Tae-sensei without actually waking 
anyone else.  Seeing the three teachers (as Onna-Harima 
saw it, not being aware Yuri was not a teacher...they run in 
packs, right?) curled around each other naked blew crucial 
circuits in Onna-Harima's brain.  Some part of her mind 
had refused to admit that teachers did this sort of thing.  

	Suddenly she wondered if maybe they all did this on 
teacher work days--a giant orgy of sex, drugs, and rock and 
roll.  It made sense.  Everyone needed some time off, and 
they probably studied secret teacher sex methods in college 
you could only use with other teachers.

	She remained frozen, unable to withdraw or advance, 
her brain carefully studying how the three were curled 
around each other with just enough blankets and body parts 
pressed together that you couldn't quite see anything 
naughty.  

	She was blissfully oblivious as the other four crept up 
on her.  Even peeking past her didn't make her notice them; 
she was that frozen.  Hanai stared in shock; unlike Harima, 
he'd known what was going on, but the sheer reality of it 
was just too much for him.  Mikoto imagined her and Hanai 
tangled with Miki and Masahiro like that and turned red.  
Akira peeked briefly, then pulled Nara away before he 
could see anything and get crazy ideas.  Nara didn't need to 
look for the crazy ideas, though.

	It was only when Hanai's foot slipped and he fell 
down on Onna-Harima, who oofed loudly, causing Mikoto 
to then fall on top of both of them, since she was leaning on 
Hanai, that their presence began to rouse Tani-sensei, Yuri, 
and Tae-sensei.  Tani-sensei sat up and stared at the three 
of them piled in the doorway and rubbed his eyes.  I must 
be dreaming, he thought.

	Yuri opened her eyes, blushed, and pulled up the 
sheets.  Tae-sensei moved to cover herself enough to be 
decent and said, "Did you three need some advice on things 
to do together?"

	There was a great and terrible silence.

	And then the three tore off across the camp in three 
different directions, screaming fit to wake the dead.

	Unfortunately, the camp happened to be right on top 
of a secret Orcish burial ground, so the dead ripped out of 
the ground and tried to eat everyone.  This ensured no one 
got very good sleep.

*****************

	Once the chaos settled down, it was time for everyone 
to try to sleep again.  Otoko-Eri saw Yakumo about to go 
back to bed with Onna-Harima.  "If she sleeps with you, so 
do I," he said.

	Onna-Harima tried to figure out if this was okay or 
not, but it just made her brain spin.  "Sure, whatever, I must 
sleep."

	She slept well; the other two didn't.

*****************

	Once it all settled down and the four on watch duty 
went back to watching, Akira said, "You two looked like 
you wanted to climb in and join them."

	"Mikoto-kun is the only woman for me," Hanai 
snapped at her, wishing it was entirely true.  He was trying 
to forget Yakumo but it wasn't easy.  And he could 
remember Lala's sweet kisses...watching her hit on the 
other Hanai made him feel irritable.  
	
	Mikoto smiled.  "Unless you two want to join us after 
we're done on watch, anyway," she teased, hoping Nara 
would get embarrassed.  Little could embarrass Akira, and 
she knew Akira would know it was just a joke.

	Akira's eyes flickered wide for a moment, and then 
she looked calm again.  "You're just teasing," she said.  She 
sounded a little disappointed, though Mikoto was sure that 
was just Akira teasing back.  

	"I'm not up to handling more than one woman at a 
time," Nara dolefully confessed, though the idea of both of 
them....he did like that idea.  He just was too realistic to 
believe it today.

	"Oh, I'm sure you'd be man enough for both of us," 
Akira said firmly.  

	Nara felt rather flattered at that.

	"So would Hanai," Mikoto said a little defensively.  

	"Been testing that with your college friends?" Akira 
asked.

	"We haven't had sex with them!" Mikoto protested.  
Just NEAR them.  And the idea did have an appeal, but...

	"That's their business," Nara said firmly.  "Please stop 
sniping at Hanai for no reason, Akira-san."

	Akira froze in place a moment, then looked at Nara in 
surprise, then said, "Well, unless we're going to test who is 
best in bed, we'd best get to bed."

	Nara could feel his harem instincts fighting with his 
common sense.  The idea of sleeping with Mikoto...he'd 
dreamed of that in times past.  And if Akira wanted to...

	But it could wreck everything.  And probably she was 
just teasing.  Though...he'd felt...when Mikoto had 
suggested it, it had almost looked to him like Akira had 
been interested.  But surely not; she just wanted one guy, 
right?  He had to be a one-woman man for her.

	"You're all the woman I could ever need," Nara said to 
Akira.  "Suou-san is pretty, but you're prettier, anyway.  I 
just love you, you know."

	She stared at him in silence, and he felt her tremble a 
moment.  Then she said, "I...Nara...Kentarou...I love you 
too."  Her voice was very soft.  "More than anyone else in 
all the world."

	He could see Mikoto smiling at them and starting to 
lead Hanai away.  "Let's go," he said softly.

	"I'm going to do things to you I can't do in public," she 
said, just loud enough for Hanai to hear as she led him 
away.  "Wonderful, magical things."  She sounded almost 
feverish.  

	He felt worried now; something was clearly wrong.  
"Akira-san, are you okay?  They were only teasing."  He 
wondered, again, why she sometimes...it was like some 
dam would burst.  He hated to see her so shaken up.

	"Love you, love you, love you," she mumbled; as they 
stepped into their tent, she pulled his shirt off, hands 
roaming across his chest frantically.  "You're the best, the 
best, the very best."  She started to take his pants off as she 
laid him down on their bedding.

	It was almost like she was drunk, but he knew she 
couldn't be.  "I love you too," he said.  "But are you sure 
you want..."

	She paused, shaking, kneeling over him, hands 
moving up to clasp his.  "It scares me," she said softly.  
"How much I want...how much you want...You're the best 
boyfriend a woman could ever have and I want to show you 
how much you mean to me."

	He felt guilty now; he'd been pretty tempted and it had 
been his fear of ruining everything that had held him back 
from succumbing.  Did he really deserve this passion?  He 
wasn't so sure.  "I just did what any boyfriend should do," 
he said.

	"Yes, but lots...how many would really pass up a 
chance like that?  Mikoto-chan is so strong and good 
looking and brave and she has such a nice body."  Akira 
sounded very envious to Nara.  "I shouldn't...I don't resent 
her for it," she said.  "But a lot of guys...when she offered."

	"It was just a joke, right?" he said, clasping her hands 
firmly, feeling himself excited by her presence.  

	"I don't know.  Those four may well be doing it," 
Akira said.  "They have that look..."  She looked at Nara.  
"I'm sorry I'm not...I mean..."

	He took his hands from hers, reached up and touched 
her breasts.  She shivered and gave a little cry.  "I can 
hardly imagine you being a better lover just because of 
having bigger breasts."  He began to explore them with his 
fingers.  "I can't imagine she could be better than you."

	"Flatterer," she said, then began pulling off his pants.  
"I'm going to...everything...for long as we can...we'll show 
them...how strong our love is."  

	Clothing flew and they went to town.

*************

	Hanai and Mikoto lay in their tent, trying to sleep, 
after they returned to it.  Hanai was not in the mood for 
hankey panky, and Mikoto felt guilty she'd ended up 
making him unhappy with her teasing.  "I'd never..." she 
began.

	"Let's be honest," he said.  "We like having them 
there, when we do it," he finally said, feeling a little freaky.  
"We don't have to have them, but we like it."

	"When di...oh, right," Mikoto said, lying on her back, 
watching the ceiling.  "Are we going to go totally 
perverted?" she mumbled.

	"I don't think so, but maybe...I mean..."  Hanai knew 
he should be wiser than this; it was fortunate they were 
absent.

	"Parents will kill us," Mikoto said.

	"We're already dead," Hanai said.  "Might as well 
enjoy the ride."

	She nodded.  "What do you think about...this business 
with Harima and Eri and the gender swapping and..."  She 
wasn't sure what she thought.

	"Their business," he said, though his heart ached a 
moment for Yakumo.  He told it to shut up.  "I hope they 
figure it out, as I know I can't."

	"Yeah."  She sighed and kissed his cheek.  
"Goodnight, Haruki-kun."

	"Goodnight, Mikoto-kun."  And then sleep took him.

*************
	
	Tenma was woken out of a sound sleep, along with 
Sagano and Yuuki when the now all too familiar sounds of 
Eri and Yakumo screaming echoed across the camp.  
Scrambling all over each other to get out of their own tent, 
they could see Onna-Harima tangled in a collapsed tent 
looking confused with Yakumo and Otoko-Eri running in 
opposite directions from it.

	Tenma ran after her sister, leaving Sagano and Yuuki 
gawking.  She quickly caught up with Yakumo, who she 
found sitting under a tree, beet red.

	"What's wrong?" Tenma asked frantically.

	"I sort of accidentally kissed Sawachika-sempai good 
morning," Yakumo mumbled.

	"..."  

	"We got all jumbledy in the night and somehow I 
mistook him for Kenji-kun."  Yakumo was shivering.

	Tenma sat down by her sister, putting an arm around 
her.  "He does look kissable, but even I couldn't ever 
mistake Boy Eri for Boy Kenji, especially when Kenji's a 
woman right now."

	Yakumo stared at her sister for a moment, then said, "I 
just kind of assumed he was next to me and kissed and 
then..."  Her eyes crossed.

	"Was he good?" Tenma asked curiously.

	"Yes.  No.  I didn't mean to kiss him!" Yakumo said.

	"Well, you know what always comes out of this sort of 
thing," Tenma said.

	"No, not really," Yakumo said, staring at the ground.

	"You two have held hands...kissed...is there something 
you're not telling me, sister?" Tenma asked.

	"There is nothing going on between us!  It's all been 
accidents!" Yakumo said frantically.

	"Yet, when accident follows accident..."  Tenma 
sounded quite serious.

	"I am not in love with him!  Kenji is my boyfriend 
even if he's a girl right now!" Yakumo said frantically.

	"Sometimes a person can be tempted, but..."

	Yakumo turned away to stare off at the nearby stream.  
"I'm not tempted."

	Tenma sighed.  Her denial meant she clearly had a 
crush on Otoko-Eri and didn't want to admit it.  Whereas, I 
may be tempted, but I don't have a crush at all and I'm not 
at all jealous that Yakumo kissed him first.  Not at all.

**************
	
	"She kissed me, dammit!" Otoko-Eri protested to 
Tani-sensei.

	"It may be tempting to..." Tani-sensei began.

	"Like you're in any position to talk," Otoko-Eri 
snapped out.

	"I'm not kissing anyone who is dating someone else!" 
he fired back.  "If you don't get a grip on yourself..."

	"SHE KISSED ME!!!!" Otoko-Eri howled to the 
heavens.  "I wouldn't kiss Tenma's imouto if my life 
depended on it!"

	"Harima will probably feel jealous about this, as 
women tend not to take their boyfriends kissing other 
women well," Tani-sensei said.

	"I'm not Kenji's boyfriend!  I'd be his girlfriend if I 
was anything and he's not really a woman so he shouldn't 
act like one!" Otoko-Eri protested loudly.  He paused, and a 
little nervously, said, "You think he thinks I'm his 
boyfriend now?"

	"She does seem to call you that under stress," Tani-
sensei.

	"KENJI GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Otoko-Eri 
shouted.

	A groggy Onna-Harima ambled over.  "What the hell 
did you have to go yelling and running around for, 
anyway?"

	"You don't think I'm your boyfriend do you?" Otoko-
Eri demanded, not sure if he wanted her to say yes or no.  It 
was all so screwy.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said, then paused.  "No...wait, 
what exactly are you asking?  That was confusing."

	"Am I your boyfriend?" Otoko-Eri demanded.

	To her own surprise, Onna-Harima found herself 
blushing.  "You're so forward."  Then she shook herself 
(literally).  "Dammit, I keep acting like I'm a woman or 
something!"

	"You are," Tani-sensei said.

	"I'm a woman and I don't act all wilting like that!" 
Otoko-Eri said.

	"You're a boy, right now," Tani-sensei said. 

	"Anyway, I'd be...well, your girlfriend...if I was 
anything to you, right?" Otoko-Eri asked hesitantly.

	"You're a good friend even if you drive me insane a 
lot," Onna-Harima said.  "You ain't made fun of me for this 
or anything, and I'm grateful.  Lot of guys would mock me 
right now."

	Otoko-Eri blushed a little.  "I...well, you haven't made 
fun of me either.  And yeah, we are friends.  We're just 
not...I mean...Yakumo was your girlfriend and..."  He 
began staring at the ground and idly kicking the dirt about.

	"So you don't mind if Eri makes out with Yakumo, 
then?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"WHAT?"  Onna-Harima looked stunned.  "You've 
been making out with Yakumo?"

	"She was confused and kissed me!" Otoko-Eri 
protested.  

	"You've been kissing my girlfriend???  Men are such 
leches!" Onna-Harima shouted.

	"Hey, it was an accident, and I'm not really a man!" 
Otoko-Eri protested.

	"No man would steal someone's girlfriend like that, 
alright!  You must pay!"

	Tani-sensei watched Onna-Harima chase Otoko-Eri 
off into the distance with a log.  He wished his old 
psychology professor, Dr. Kaitou, was here.  The old man 
would have found this utterly fascinating.  The two of them 
seemed to slide back and forth from their normal 
personalities into identifying with the other gender 
whenever they got stressed. 

	He tracked down Lord Fuyuki and asked, "How much 
further?"

	"We should hit civilization in a week and then we can 
get horses and be there in two days," he said.

	A week of this, Tani-sensei thought.  Kami-sama help 
us all.

**************

	Yuuki wondered, idly, what her other self was like.  
She hadn't been part of the group which they'd met.  But 
then, neither had Priestess Sara's boyfriend, apparently in 
detention.  Maybe other-me is in detention.

	She finally decided to approach Priestess Sara and ask; 
she would be neutral, at least.  

	"Oh, she couldn't get off work as a hostess," Priestess 
Sara told her.  "She makes pretty good money there, even if 
it seems a little skanky to me."

	Yuuki licked her lips nervously.  "One of...those 
places?"

	"More or less," Priestess Sara said.  "I work at a 
restaurant, but it's not like...that."

	"Is my..."

	"Well, really, harem ninjas all are very...forward," 
Priestess Sara said, trying to be polite.  

	Great, Yuuki thought.  "Is she dating anyone?"

	"She and Martial Artist Mikoto are kind of fighting 
over Imadori."

	And apparently my other self is insane, Yuuki thought.  
Just GREAT.

**************

	"You know what would be really ironic?" Fuyuki said 
to Karasuma and Karen as they slogged through the woods.

	"Us being captured and Tenma having to rescue us?" 
Karen said.

	"Wow, it's like you read my mind," Fuyuki said.

	Karasuma looked around warily.  In this sort of 
universe, that sort of statement usually set the universe the 
challenge of capturing you.  He couldn't afford that.  

	Yet, nothing seemed to be about to attack.  Which 
meant it had to be something subtle...like dopplegangers 
replacing them one by one.  

	And, of course, the first thing a doppleganger would 
do would be to say things which would ensure no one 
thinks it a doppleganger, like, say, talking about the 
possibility of something capturing everyone.  Which could 
mean Karen was really a doppleganger...

	Or could mean he was cracking under stress.

	He sighed and told himself not to be ludicrous.  

	What were the odds that any of them were a 
doppleganger?  Certainly not so high as for him to worry.  
Unless, maybe, he was the doppleganger, set to lead them 
into a trap and hypnotized to forget...

	He shook his head.  Even more ridiculous.  There was 
no way he was a doppleganger.  "I'm not a doppleganger, 
am I?" he asked, his lips expressing his thoughts for no 
good reason.

	"What?" Karen asked.

	"We're all dopplegangers," Fuyuki said sarcastically.

	Ahah!  He knew...no wait, that had to be sarcasm.  A 
real doppleganger wouldn't reveal his identity.  But wait...it 
could be a bluff, admitting the truth so NO ONE WOULD 
BELIEVE IT.  

	"We are?" Karen asked in confusion.

	Maybe confusion...or maybe an evil bluff...  He 
couldn't be sure of any of them, not even himself.  I may be 
here to betray me, Karasuma thought.  But even if I'm evil, 
I'll never betray Tenma, ever!  

	The squirrels are after my nuts, Fuyuki thought.  BUT 
THEY WILL NEVER HAVE THEM.

	Karen felt her stomach rumble.  Maybe cooking those 
mushrooms wasn't a good idea, she thought.  But they'd 
looked so tasty.  It must be the faeries, angry with us for 
stealing their mushrooms.  A faerie curse!  There was 
nothing to be done but to turn her clothing inside out, find a 
horseshoe to stand under and...   "I don't suppose any of 
you have any church bells, do you?"

	That could be a doppleganger recognition code phrase, 
Karasuma thought.  If I say yes, she may think I am one.  
"Why yes, of course," he said.  That will let me infiltrate 
their evil ranks so I can save Tenma.

	"No," Fuyuki said.  Church bells are clearly a code for 
nuts!  The squirrels have chittered into her mind...Alvin and 
the Chipmunks have been brainwashing humans for 
decades now!  It was all becoming clear.  Only he was a 
bad enough dude to save the President.

	They both stared as Karen took her shirt off and turned 
it inside out, then began doing the same to her pants.  "Can 
I borrow them?" she asked Karasuma.  "I need some for 
defense."

	But he didn't REALLY have any.  "Oops," he said, 
searching his pockets.  "They must be in my other pants."  
Very clever, he thought.  But he would fool her yet.  
Somehow.

	It's going to take a very clever plan he thought.  Very 
clever indeed.

************

	As they were walking along, Tenma went over to talk 
to Akira.  Akira and Nara were walking hand in hand; she 
had a quiet smile and he looked very bouyant.  "Akira-
chan, do you have a minute?" Tenma asked.

	"Sure," she said.  "Though we have to talk while 
walking, of course."  The group was strung out in a clumpy 
line, moving through the woods with Sagano and Yuuki 
scouting ahead as usual.  

	"That's fine.  I just..."

	"Wondering about this morning?" Akira asked.

	"Yeah," Tenma said.  "I mean...are they really..."

	"I'm sure it was an accident.  Sleeping three in a tent, 
both of them wanting Kenji to kiss them, and so on," Akira 
said.  "Who knows, they may take up like our teachers."

	Tenma's eyes crossed.  "But I w...I mean, that wouldn't 
be proper, and what about when they go back to normal?"

	"Proper doesn't matter so long as they're all happy," 
Akira said, surprising Tenma.  Akira always seemed rather 
proper to Tenma.  Especially when badgering Hanai.  "And 
it seems like Yakumo-san doesn't mind Harima being a girl 
right now too much, though I may be wrong," Akira said.  

	Tenma's eyes widened.  "Well, maybe...but isn't it 
kind of monkey-like?"

	"Any arrangement is good if everyone agrees," Akira 
said blithely.

	Tenma blinked in shock.  "You think so?"

	Nara nodded.  "Some like groups, some just need one 
person."  Or keep quiet about it so as not to risk losing the 
one they have, anyway.

	"Are you okay?" Tenma asked Akira; she seemed a 
little strange.

	"I'm fine," Akira said.  "I'm just content."

	Tenma frowned.  Did this mean Akira was normally 
unhappy and hiding it?  That made her feel bad for her 
friend.  But I ought to be happy for her.  "I just feel like I 
should do something."

	"I spent too long keeping the lid on those three," Akira 
said.  "They have to find their own answer."

	"You didn't like it when Hanai..." Tenma began.

	Akira's composure snapped.  "That's because he thinks 
about other women instead of focusing on his girlfriend, 
unlike my wonderful boyfriend, who prefers me over 
anyone else." Her grip on Nara tightened.

	He carefully kept silent.

	"I...but they...Harima...two women..." Tenma babbled.

	"Right now is not the time to demand Harima make up 
his mind.  He can't think straight right now.  And he wasn't 
stringing them along before this the way Hanai does."  
Because he loved you, Akira thought.  She felt kind of bad 
for Yakumo and Eri; she cared about her friends.  But 
maybe now one of them could win his heart.  Let them 
have their chance.  And if Harima turned monkey...then she 
would make him pay.

	"But I mean..."

	"Don't worry," Akira said.  "They have to work it out 
themselves.  But I'm sure they'll be fine."  She was feeling 
optimistic, though her failure to confess her own divided 
feelings was starting to nag at her again.  But maybe...it 
wasn't like she'd ever acted on them, right?  She stuck by 
her boyfriend's side through it all.  He loved her, even 
though she wasn't very loveable.  So she would give him all 
the love she could.  Surely the things she did for him 
showed she loved him.  Right?
		
*************

	"It's all in the mind," Lady Harima told Onna-Harima.  
"They turn me into all sorts of weird shit all the time, so I'm 
more resistant to morfosis."

	"Morfosis?" Onna-Harima asked.

	"Yeah," Lady Harima said.  Something like that.  
Some Morfological something something...her way 
sounded like a proper disease, anyway.  Psychosis was a 
mental thing, right?  So this was close enough.  "It's the 
thing where, when you shapechange, you start thinking like 
what you turn into."

	Onna-Harima nodded.  That made sense.  "Part of the 
spell?"

	"Yeah.  Anyway, so the trick is to think of shit you 
like normally and try and keep reminding yourself of the 
old you.  Otherwise, the new you seduces you and you end 
up checking out some guy's butt."  Lady Harima was 
looking towards Otoko-Eri; it was unclear if she was 
checking out a butt or not.

	Onna-Harima did check it out before she caught 
herself.  I should be looking at women's butts, she thought.  
But that would make a monkey, which Tenma told me not 
to.  Yakumo's butt.  I can watch that; she's my 
girlfriend...but now she's busy kissing Eri and maybe she 
won't want to be the girlfriend of a girl and I was just 
dating her because Tenma told me to, and I feel so weird.  
Eri is hot, though.  No, not hot, not thinking in a gay way 
about Eri!  But Eri is really a woman, so looking at Eri's 
butt would mean I'm really a straight guy, appreciating a 
woman's butt.  Right?

	"You two checking out some fine male bodies and 
pretending not to?" Sagano asked.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said absently, too busy trying to 
determine what other butts were safe or not to think things 
through.

	"You know, Tani-sensei is kind of hot in that outfit," 
Sagano said.  "And Lord Fuyuki."  She paused.  "So, wait, 
he's a Cabana Boy and you're a Martial Artist..."

	"Brawler," Lady Harima said.  "I got awarded the title 
for rescuing the Princess.  And he's of noble blood."

	"Brawler...isn't that like Martial Arts?"

	"MUCH MORE BAD ASS," Lady Harima said.

	Am I gay if I look at Yakumo's butt?  No, I'm really a 
man and she's really a woman...so only look at male butts if 
they're actually women's butts, and Eri's guy body is so 
nice to look at anyway, Onna-Harima thought.  So I don't 
need to worry.  Except I have a girlfriend...who Eri is 
trying to steal.  Or is she leaving me for a real man?  Onna-
Harima wasn't too happy either way.

	"So, when you going to make out with Eri, hmm?" 
Sagano asked, poking Onna-Harima.

	"I can't let my boyfriend steal my girlfriend," Onna-
Harima mumbled.

	"Dude, you're losing yourself again," Lady Harima 
said.  "Turn around."

	Onna-Harima turned around.  "What?"

	"Is she not hot?" Lady Harima pointed at Sagano.

	Sagano felt embarrassed for a moment, then posed 
seductively.

	Onna-Harima felt like someone had set her hormones 
to puree; they were spinning wildly.  Even as a boy, she'd 
hardly noticed Sagano.  But suddenly, Sagano looked 
really, really good, even better than Tenma.  There was this 
glitter of lights about her and she had such a lovely body 
and Onna-Harima wanted to...wanted to...

	She was suddenly aware she wasn't sure what exactly 
she wanted to do with Sagano, but it was something or 
another that definitely involved touching.  And kissing.  

	"Whoah, better stop posing," Lady Harima said, 
licking her lips.  "I think my evil twin's about to lose it."

	Sagano moved to a more normal stance and now 
Onna-Harima could see she was pretty good looking but 
not so...compelling.  "Was that magic?"

	"I guess," Lady Harima said uncertainly.  "Anyway, 
you gotta remember to lust after women, no matter how 
seductive Blondie looks in his hunting outfit with his giant 
metal wand.  It's probably just a substitute for the real 
thing, anyway."

	Sagano and Onna-Harima backed away from Lady 
Harima.

	"He's right behind me, isn't he?" Lady Harima said, 
sensing approaching doom.

	"YES," Otoko-Eri said.

	They soon vanished off into the distance in a chase.  
They could hear Tani-sensei banging his head on a tree.

	"Look, Harima-san, seriously," Sagano said.  "You 
shouldn't fight this.  Embrace it.  You'll go back to normal 
soon, right?  So why not take this chance to learn what it's 
like to be a woman?  You'll understand women better and 
surely that will help you with your two girlfriends, right?"

	It sounded sensible which caused Onna-Harima to 
worry, since Sagano was not a fount of reason.  To listen to 
her was to tiptoe down the primrose path which leads to 
destruction.  And yet...There had to be some logic hole.  I 
think I had best talk to someone smart...Akira, maybe.  
That would be wise.  Hopefully.

****************

	She was on her way to see Akira when Itoko pulled 
her aside.  "Kenji," she said.  "Did Tae-sensei give you all 
the information you need to stay hygenic?"

	"Yes," she mumbled to her cousin.

	"Good.  I know you don't want to be a woman, but 
staying healthy is important," Itoko said.

	Onna-Harima nodded.

	"You three sleeping together?" Itoko asked.

	"No!  I wouldn't sleep with a boy!  Even if he's really 
a girl!"  She paused.  "Or would that make it not sleeping 
with a...no, can't think like that, dammit!"

	Sasakura-sensei said, "You sound confused."

	"I'm not confused!  I know who I am and what I 
want."

	"Really," Itoko said.

	This time, Onna-Harima made emphatic hand 
gestures.  "Yes.  I am a boy who just happens to be in a 
woman's body right now and..."  She thought a moment 
about Sagano's advice.  No way she could tell Itoko about 
that.  Itoko would DESTROY her with that.  

	"Wouldn't it be fine to kiss Eri, then?" Sasakura-sensei 
said.  "Girls can kiss either way and it's fine."

	"Really?" Onna-Harima asked.

	"It's just guys who have to be careful.  So you could 
kiss both of them," Sasakura-sensei said.

	"You're not helping," Itoko said.

	Sasakura-sensei quickly looked around, then kissed 
Itoko.  "Like that."

	Itoko looked embarrassed.  "Youko..."

	"But I'm really a guy," Onna-Harima said.  
	
	"Yes, but Yakumo is really a girl and so is Eri.  So 
kissing them both is fine," Sasakura-sensei said.  

	"Don't fill his head with stuff which will confuse him," 
Itoko said to Sasakura-sensei.  

	Onna-Harima was glad to be called 'he'.  But really, it 
made sense.  If he was really a guy, then it didn't matter if 
Eri had a boy body right now or...  "And Eri kissing 
Yakumo?"

	"Girls kissing each other is fine," Sasakura-sensei 
said.

	"Youko, he..."

	"You didn't mind my kisses last night," Sasakura-
sensei said, hands on her hips.  

	Onna-Harima felt brain cells die at the thought, and 
felt an odd tingly feeling.

	"We can't expect him to keep track of anything even 
vaguely subtle," Itoko protested.

	"This isn't subtle.  Harima-san, you should kiss 
whoever you like.  Just don't run around like a wild 
monkey," Sasakura-sensei said.

	Well, that made sense.  Discretion, faithfulness, those 
were good things.  It just...no, surely a teacher wouldn't lie 
to me, she thought.  Also, Itoko thinks she's wrong, 
therefore, she must be right.

	I won't fall for my cousin's tricks this time!  Onna-
Harima nodded.  "Thank you."  She ran off before Itoko 
could trick her in some way to embarrass her.

*************
	
	Yakumo wanted to spend some more time with Kenji, 
but she was nervous about approaching him while he was a 
woman.  It made her feel strange and she wasn't sure what 
exactly their relationship was.  Though he thought more of 
her, she could tell that.

	So instead, she sat with Sara, Asou, Suga, and Satsuki 
as they ate dinner.  "So what is up with you three, 
anyway?" Suga asked.  "Not to pry."

	"You are prying," Satsuki pointed out.

	"Picky, picky," he said.

	"I don't know," Yakumo mumbled.

	"What?" Suga asked in confusion.

	"Drop it," Asou ordered, waving his hunk of bread 
like a command rod.  

	"Kenji-kun's all confused right now; I don't know if he 
knows what he feels or anything, so I think...I shouldn't 
press anything until he's back to normal," Yakumo said.  
She hoped she wasn't just wimping out.

	"Well, it's just all three of you in one tent and you are 
his girlfriend and she's not," Suga said.  "I don't see why 
you don't kick Sawachika out."

	I'm not strong-willed enough, that's why, Yakumo 
thought.  And it seemed to help Kenji sleep to have them 
both there.  Until something disastrous would happen, 
anyway.  But really...  "You've never tried to say no to her."

	"True," Suga said.  "But you shouldn't put up with it."

	That's true, Yakumo said.  I have to be assertive.  I'll 
tell her tonight to go sleep somewhere else.

	Tonight.

************

	"We should probably see if your sister wants to stay 
with us," Onna-Harima said to Yakumo when she came 
into the tent.  

	"My sister?"

	"Except for Eri, her friends have all peeled off to stay 
with boyfriends and Eri is here with us, so..."

	"Well, Sawachika-sempai could sleep with Tenma-
neechan," Yakumo began.

	"A guy and a girl alone together?  Are you crazy?  We 
really should have at least three of us to make sure Eri 
doesn't succumb to his lusts and start showering us with his 
firm, pleasant kisses."  Onna-Harima looked slightly 
panicked.  

	"We could send him off on his own and..." Yakumo 
began.

	"He has to be monitored.  Closely," Onna-Harima 
said.  I need to be able to emb...grapple him if necessary."

	"But the other guys..."

	"Don't burn with desire for me," Onna-Harima said.  
"Not our problem.  And he clearly wants you too, so it's not 
wise to let him out of your sight."

	"Wants me?" Yakumo asked in surprise.  "It was an 
accident."

	"He's going to have to kiss everyone, just to be fair, 
and then we'll have to make sure he doesn't get out of 
hand," Onna-Harima said.

	Yakumo tried to study her thoughts; it was a chaotic 
mess, but seemed to feature a lot of images of Eri kissing 
all three of them.  "Did she really kiss my sister?"

	"He undoubtably did," Onna-Harima said.  "No male 
could resist her lips."

	"But...isn't she really a woman?" Yakumo asked.

	"You don't understand how much this change affects 
the mind if you don't fill it with creme...I mean with 
thoughts that remind you of your old self."  Images of 
motorcycles, of riding with her and Eri flooded Onna-
Harima's head as Yakumo observed.

	Yakumo sighed.  "Well, if you think it's necessary..."

	"He'll try to seduce us all if we don't make sure he's 
under our watch," Onna-Harima proclaimed.  "It's the only 
way."

	"Well, umm, I'll get them."

	"You get your sister, I'll get Eri-san," Onna-Harima 
said.

	"Okay," Yakumo said, heading off to find her sister.

	She found Tenma about to camp out with Sagano and 
Yuuki again.  "Neechan, want to come sleep with Kenji-
kun, Sawachika-san, and me?"

	"Sure," Tenma said.  "I have to make sure you three 
don't do anything crazy."

	"I am not going to do anything crazy," Yakumo said.

	"Well, that will make my job easier, then."

	This was going to be a long night.

*****************

	"You gonna come crash with us again?  Tenma-san 
will be there too," Onna-Harima said.

	"You sure that's wise?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "Given your 
feelings and all."

	"I'm over her," Onna-Harima lied.  She was trying but 
you couldn't just reverse course like that.  "I just don't want 
her to end up without her friends, given Takano-san and 
Suou-san are with their boyfriends."

	"True," Otoko-Eri said.  "Sure, we can go."

	"Just don't try anything perverted," Onna-Harima said.

	"Perverted?  If you're afraid I'm a pervert, why are you 
inviting me to sleep with three women?" Otoko-Eri 
demanded.

	"I have to keep an eye on you," Onna-Harima said.  
"Before you try and kiss me or Yakumo again."

	"You'd like it if I did," Otoko-Eri said smugly as they 
began walking towards the tent.

	"I would not!" Onna-Harima protested.  "Not that it 
would be bad if I did.  A woman can kiss anyone and it's 
okay.  So long as she's not a monkey."

	"What kind of crazy logic is THAT?," Otoko-Eri 
demanded.  "I'm a woman!  So I should be able to kiss 
anyone by that logic!"

	"You shouldn't be kissing my girlfriend without 
kissing me!" Onna-Harima protested.  

	"It was an accident!  And I already kissed you once!" 
Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"You were a girl, it doesn't count against your boy-
kisses!" Onna-Harima bellowed back.  
	  
	"What kind of crazy logic is that?" Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"A woman may make any logic she pleases!" Onna-
Harima said.  "If I've learned anything about women, it's 
that!"

	"So you're a woman when it suits you and a boy when 
it doesn't?" Otoko-Eri said.  "Fine!  I'll kiss you and even 
things out!"

	Grab.  Embrace.  KISS.

	It was only when the first rush of pleasure began to die 
down that it sank into Onna-Harima's mind that she was 
kissing a boy.  She started to panic, then thought about 
what Sasakura-sensei had told her.  Either Eri was really a 
girl and her a boy and it was okay, or else she was really a 
girl and Eri a boy and it was also okay.  Right?  

	Finally, Otoko-Eri broke off the kiss.  "There, now 
you owe me two kisses."

	"What?"

	"I've kissed you twice, you haven't initiated it at all 
yet, so you owe me two," Otoko-Eri said.

	Stupid boy logic.  "But you can kiss Yakumo again if 
I..."

	"I'm not going to kiss Yakumo!" Otoko-Eri said.  "We 
should ask Tenma; she'll lay down the truth."

	"Fine, we will."

*************** 

	"Hmm, well, if we think purely in terms of balance, 
then technically speaking, I think Kenji would need to kiss 
Yakumo twice and Eri and Yakumo would need to kiss one 
more time to balance things out.  However...THAT IS 
COMPLETE MONKEY THINKING," Tenma said.  
"Clearly, you have both gone insane, and Yakumo and I 
will have to restrain you until you regain your sanity."

	"I think you're just jealous because your boyfriend 
isn't here," Otoko-Eri said crankily.

	"I'm just jealous because no one wants to kiss me!" 
Tenma shouted, then tried to pretend she'd never been born 
when it sank in what she'd shouted.

	Having everyone look sympathetic was worse than 
having everyone make fun of her for it.  She stared at the 
ground while Yakumo patted her shoulder, until Otoko-Eri 
said, "Well, I could kiss you if it would help."

	Steam came out of Onna-Harima's ears, while 
Yakumo stared at Otoko-Eri.  She's just out of control, 
Yakumo thought.  

	"I...uh...I have a boyfriend...sort of..."  Tenma blushed 
and stared at the ground.  

	"If I can't kiss better than Karasuma, I don't deserve to 
live," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Don't try to seduce my sister too!" Yakumo said, 
moving between them as Otoko-Eri swooped down.  The 
inevitable result was an unintended lip collision.  

 	Onna-Harima watched in shock, then pulled them 
apart.  "You kissed my girlfriend again!," she protested.  
"Right in front of me and her sister!"

	"SHE GOT IN THE WAY!"

	"Of you kissing Tenma!  Are you going to kiss every 
girl in the camp????" Onna-Harima demanded.

	"Only the...no," Otoko-Eri said before he could 
incriminate himself.  

	"This is why you have to be watched," Onna-Harima 
proclaimed.  "So you don't strip and try to seduce us with 
your manly body!"

	"You're the one who walked in naked on me at the 
beach, you know!" Otoko-Eri said, pointing at her.  "What 
if you get naked and try to seduce ME?"

	Yakumo hadn't heard about this.  Her mind began 
constructing scenarios.  Kenji-kun...male...naked...  Her 
eyes crossed and she fell over, fainting.

	"Yakumo!" Tenma said, catching her.

	"See what you did?" Onna-Harima demanded.

	"I could wake her with a kiss," Otoko-Eri said 
speculatively.

	"You are NOT going for a triple-crown!" Onna-
Harima protested.  

	"Her nose is bleeding, does someone have a tissue?" 
Tenma asked.

	"You've turned my girlfriend into a nosebleeding 
pervert!" Onna-Harima said.  

	"You're the fool who started talking about naked 
people!  Fine!  You want nudity, we can do nudity," Otoko-
Eri said, taking off his jacket.

	Onna-Harima stared mindlessly as her brain went into 
a spin cycle.

	Yakumo dreamed of being at the beach and everyone 
was naked and she was so embarrassed she could die, but 
Kenji pulled her out into the water and...

	Tenma began to gibber.  "I...Eri...boyfriend...body..."

	"TAKE IT OFF!  TAKE IT ALL OFF!" Sagano said.

	Everyone jumped, except Yakumo, who was 
unconscious.

	"WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?" Otoko-Eri shouted.

	"We followed you because we knew this would be 
funny.  We've been spying the whole time," Sagano said.  
She and Yuuki had lifted one side of the tent just a little 
and peeped under it; now their heads were stuck through.  
"C'mon, work it, Eri."

	"You want to see me strip?" Otoko-Eri asked in shock.

	"You're pretty hot right now," Sagano said.  "And 
while no doubt we'd die of embarrassment later when 
you're back to normal, I believe consequences are for other 
people, not me."

	Yuuki stared at the ground, looking embarrassed.

	"My boyfriend is not going to strip for you!" Onna-
Harima said.

	"Oh, now I'm your boyfriend?" Otoko-Eri said.  "Any 
chance you might EVER MAKE UP YOUR MIND?"

	"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind 
whenever she likes," Onna-Harima said.

	"You can't just be a guy when it's convenient and a 
woman when THAT is convenient!" Otoko-Eri said.

	"Sure I can," she said.

	Otoko-Eri gripped the sides of her head, trying to 
prevent it from exploding.  

	Tenma said, "Well, umm..."

	Sagano said, "Sorry, Sawachika, but you're a guy now, 
so your women's club membership is revoked until you turn 
back."

	"There's a club?" Tenma asked.

	There really was no other option but to just start 
killing every living thing on the planet, Otoko-Eri realized.  
Just wipe them out.  ALL OF THEM.

	Just as he began imagining raining down death and 
destruction on the entire universe, Yakumo woke up, 
looking panicked.  She tugged at her clothing, then relaxed.

	Tenma pulled herself together, rose, and hugged 
Otoko-Eri.  "I'm sorry, we're all just kind of worked up and 
I'm missing my Karasuma."

	Otoko-Eri felt the rage drain out of him; he couldn't 
see Onna-Harima looking jealously at Tenma.  "Yeah, I'm 
sorry too.  We shouldn't all fight pointlessly."

	"Does this mean no stripping?" Sagano asked, 
sounding disappointed.

	"You really want me to strip?" Otoko-Eri asked.  He 
had assumed she was teasing.

	"Sure!  Half-to-all naked guys are a good thing," 
Sagano said.

	"But I'm really a girl."  Otoko-Eri sounded nervous.

	"Right now, you're a guy, a guy who's gonna vanish 
soon and never be seeable naked again," Sagano said.  
"One must seize the chance while one can."

	Yuuki mumbled into the dirt.

	"Sorry, not going to let you see my boyfriend naked," 
Onna-Harima said.

	"You can't have a boyfriend and a girlfriend!" Tenma 
protested.

	"Hey, you have three girlfriends and a boyfriend and 
no one protests," Onna-Harima said.  "It's a woman's 
prerogative."

	"But...they're not...we don't...I mean, you're not my 
girlfriend like THAT, are you, Eri-chan?" Tenma asked in 
confusion.

	"I'd be your boyfriend right now," he said.  
"Technically speaking."  

	This didn't help matters.

	I haven't been kissing Eri and going out on dates with 
her without remembering, have I?, Tenma asked herself.  
I'm not some kind of were-lesbian who dates women when 
the moon is full, right?

	She asked Yuuki, "What phase is the moon right 
now?"

	"Uh, what?" Yuuki asked.

	"Hold on," Sagano said, head vanishing.  Her head 
soon returned.  "Looks like a full moon to me."

	The tent must be shielding me from the moon's 
transforming rays, Tenma thought.  I've got stay inside 
where it's safe!

	Yakumo said, "We...umm, Kenji-san and Sawachika-
sempai and I...we should probably talk in private."		

	"I can't leave the tent!" Tenma said frantically.

	"What?" Yakumo asked in confusion.

	"I'll...get a rash," she said lamely.

	Yakumo blinked.  "Do you need some lotion?  I have 
some in my pack, oneechan."

	"The moonlight is bad for my skin," Tenma mumbled.

	"I'm not leaving until it stops being entertaining," 
Sagano said.  "So..."

	She was suddenly dragged out of sight, as was Yuuki.  
They could hear her saying, "No, Yuri-sensei, not 
the...aaaaaahhh!!!!!"  There were splashing noises.

	Yakumo sighed.  She wasn't comfortable trying to 
discuss this with her sister right here.

	Tae-sensei stuck her head in.  "They won't be back."

	"Thank you, sensei," Onna-Harima said.  "They 
wanted Eri to strip."

	"Oh my."  Tae-sensei shook her head.  "Tenma-chan, I 
need you to come help me with something."

	"I can't go out in the moonlight!" Tenma said 
frantically.

	"Now, it's time to face your fear."  Tae-sensei dragged 
Tenma out; the trio could hear her howling, though it soon 
stopped.

	"I hope oneechan is okay," Yakumo said.

	"Me too," Onna-Harima said.

	"Me three," Otoko-Eri said, then sat down and sighed.  
"Look, Yakumo, all these times kissing you are just 
accidents.  I mean, you're a good kisser, and if things were 
different...but things are normally different and I'm already 
starting to talk crazy."  He sighed, leaning forward and 
gripping his head again.

	Onna-Harima started to say something, then fell silent.  
"We're both kind of crazy right now, please be patient with 
us," she said.  "I can't...I can't think straight, even worse 
than before.  Just...you shouldn't take anything I say too 
seriously until I'm a boy again.  Okay, Yakumo-san?"  She 
looked very regretful.

	"You just...you keep...I want to believe in you, but..."  
Yakumo peered at Onna-Harima's thoughts; they were a 
jumbled mess, though she could feel her and Otoko-Eri's 
presence in those thoughts.

	"Please," Otoko-Eri said.  "Be patient with us."

	She could see herself in Otoko-Eri's thoughts; they 
were kissing. She felt flustered at that and thought about 
the pleasant taste of his kisses, then made herself stop.  

	"I'll try," Yakumo said.  Though they were enough to 
try even her patience.

	Onna-Harima yawned.  "We should sleep, then."

	They soon settled down to sleep; Yakumo prayed 
there would be no more accidents in the morning.

**********

	"What do you need me for?" Tenma asked, slipping 
from shadow to shadow, trying to stay out of the 
moonlight.

	"Suou-san tells me you're a pretty good shot with a 
bow.  We need you to shoot down some Dire Owls that are 
lurking around some of the tents."

	"No problem, so long as I stay out of the moonlight," 
Tenma said.  "Glad to help."

	"Why are you worried about the moonlight?" Tae-
sensei asked her, curiously.

	"No reason," Tenma said.  

	"Isn't it pretty?" Tae-sensei asked.

	"It's evil," Tenma said, ducking between trees.

	Tae-sensei gave up and took her to the owls.  

 	Armed with a bow, Tenma soon shot two out of the 
tree and sent a third packing.  She sighed.  "Poor owls."

	"Dire Owls are very dangerous predators," Martial 
Artist Mikoto pointed out.  "Thanks, Tenma-sama."

	"And see, the moonlight didn't hurt you," Tae-sensei 
said to Tenma.  "You're in it right now."

	Tenma screamed and fainted.

	"I hope she hasn't convinced herself she's a wereferret 
again," Martial Artist Mikoto said.

	"That was our Princess," Cabana Boy Nara pointed 
out.

	"True," she said.  

	Tae-sensei checked her carefully.  "Hmm, she seems 
physically okay.  She's probably just worked up over the 
whole mess with her sister."

	"It is rather a mess," Martial Artist Mikoto said.  "But 
I'm sure someone in the city will be able to help."

	"Well, I'll take her to lie down," Tae-sensei said.  She 
no doubt just needs some rest.

**********

	Everyone was woken in the morning by the sound of 
Onna-Harima bellowing, a tent collapsing and Yakumo, 
Tenma, Onna-Harima, and Otoko-Eri fleeing the tent in 
four different directions.

	A groggy Lord Fuyuki stuck his head out of his tent.  
"Is this some sort of weird custom from your world?" he 
asked the universe.  

	Sagano stuck her head out of her nearby tent.  "It's 
their own special retarded custom, I think," she said, 
yawning.

	"Well, at least it lets us know what time to get out of 
bed."

	I suppose looking on the brighter side is the better part 
of valor, Sagano thought.  Or something like that.

**********

	Hanai told himself again he should just ignore Lala 
and Martial Artist Hanai carrying on.  If she chose to chase 
after an extra-dimensional version of himself she wouldn't 
see again after they got home, that was her business.  
Really, it would be better if she moved on.

	That way, he wouldn't miss her kisses.  

	He told himself not to think about her, to focus on 
Mikoto.  But his brain seemed to have let go of Yakumo 
only to start obsessing on Lala.  

	He banged his head against a tree, knocking it down.

	"You okay?" Mikoto asked, looking up from her 
breakfast of fish and rice.  

	"I'm fine," he said.  "Just needed to wake up."

	"Okay," she said a little dubiously.  "I hope your father 
hasn't done anything too bad to Miki and Masahiro."

	"I'm sure they're fine."

*************

	The trucker looked curiously at the crate.  "Is that 
pounding?"

	"It's just the contents settling," Mr. Hanai said, lifting 
it into the back.  "I'll pay you when we reach the Seikan 
Tunnel, but here's the downpayment."  He passed 20,000 
yen to the trucker.

	"Sounds good to me," the trucker said.  "Let's lay the 
hammer down."

*************

	"Are my Defenders back yet?" Princess Tenma asked 
the majordomo, Hibiki, who was a tall thin man with grey 
hair.  

	"Only the ones in detention, Princess," he said.  He 
was watching over her to make sure she did her homework.

	A runner came in as she sat at her desk, doodling 
pictures of Lord Karasuma and her flying instead of doing 
her homework.  "Princess!  The Wardens have captured 
three forest lunatics."

	"What, more mushroom eaters?" Princess Tenma 
asked.  The mushrooms were very dangerous as they were 
oh-so-tasty, but made you progressively more crazy.

	"Yes.  Normally, I wouldn't bother you," the young 
dark haired man said.  "But one of them is raving about 
dopplegangers coming to kill you, and how he's going to 
rescue you.  So I thought you might want to take a look."

	Excuse to get out of homework!  SCORE, she thought.  
"I'll come right away."

	To her surprise, Majordomo Hibiki didn't protest.

	Studying the prisoners, she said, "Isn't this Wrestler 
Karen, Lord Fuyuki and...LORD KARASUMA!"  She 
shook the bars.  "Did Lord Harima tell you to lock him 
up?"

	Karasuma rose and studied her.  "Are you Tenma?  Or 
another DOPPLEGANGER?  Am I too late?"   He began to 
wail.

	"It's me, my love," she said.  "Bring him out."

	"He's in the throes of mushroom madness," the 
Majordomo protested.  "Also, you're right, it does look like 
them...which means they may all be dopplegangers who ate 
the mushrooms on the way to kill you."  He frowned.  "We 
should triple security."

	"They could be heroes from another world," the 
messenger boy pointed out.

	"Oh not bloody again," Majordomo Hibiki said, 
sighing.  "You'd think the gods would trust us to clean up 
our own messes...  But probably they're evil 
dopplegan...give me the keys, your highness!"

	It was too late; Princess Tenma opened the door, then 
pulled out Karasuma as the other two gibbered.  "Send for 
Nurse Witch Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama to treat their 
madness."

	Majordomo Hibiki never liked people with more than 
two classes.  It was showing off, that's what it was.  "I think 
she's a Harem Ninja these days too."

	"I lost track," Tenma said.  "And send for Priestess 
Sara.  I may need her divine powers for Lord Karasuma."

	"She's gone with the expedition, your highness."

	"Blast.  I'll just have to do the rites myself," Princess 
Tenma said.  "I haven't levelled up from my last adventure, 
anyway.  I'll take my new level in Cleric."

	"Priestess, Princess."

	"Hmm, Priestess Princess Tenma.  I like the sound of 
that," Princess Tenma said.

	"Can you be a Priestess when you can't ever remember 
all of the seven major gods?"  Majordomo Hibiki asked 
dubiously as Karasuma raved about how Elvis sightings 
were a clear sign of doppleganger influence.

	"I'll get the skill when I level.  Have the holy icons 
sent to my room."  She began dragging off Karasuma.

	He sighed.  "Yes, Princess."  He would be sooo glad 
when this regency was finally over, but he feared that 
wouldn't happen until the last game of this series, whenever 
THAT was.

	It wouldn't do him any good right now, anyway.

***************
	
	"Rivals make the best lovers," Masked Wrestler 
Laladora told Lala.

	Lala boggled.  "But she...Karen...how can you two..."  
It was just...she wanted to defeat Karen, not sleep with her.

	Masked Wrestler Laladora said, "It started by 
accident, but it's been for the best.  No one could 
understand me as well as another wrestler."  She smiled, 
leaning against a tree.  

	They were supposed to be gathering wood, but it had 
turned into a talk.  

	"On the other hand, you're taking that monkey off my 
back for me, so thank you," Laladora said.  "It's nice to 
have some peace.  I wish you could keep him."

	Lala sighed; she didn't need the reminder this was only 
temporary and every night her world's Hanai fell more 
under Suou's evil sway.  What would she do when she had 
to go home?  She didn't know.

***************

	Princess Tenma had discovered that little could 
restrain Karasuma except for sitting by him and holding his 
hand.  She was still waiting for the idols so she could take 
her cleric...Priestess level.

	So they sat on her bed while he gibbered quietly.  
"Those two dolls are alike...one is a doppleganger!"  He 
seized Rustmonster-Riding Barbie and locked her in a 
chest.  "That will take that one out of commission!"

	Nurse Itoko now entered.  She had secret Ninja class 
levels, but no one was supposed to mention them even if 
everyone knew.

	She walked over.  "'shrooms?"

	"So they say," Princess Tenma said.

	Itoko punched Karasuma in the gut, causing him to 
puke up his latest mushroom intake onto the bed.

	"HEY!" Princess Tenma said.

	"Keep him from eating more; he'll be fine in the 
morning," Nurse Itoko said, turning to go.  "Whatever he is, 
he seems to find you soothing."

	Don't worry, my love, Princess Tenma thought.  
Whether this is you or a double, I will love you back to 
perfect health!

****************

	The forest opened up before them, revealing a great 
plain dotted with villages and farms and rivers.  "We 
should be able to get horses here and ride to the capital 
quickly now," Lord Fuyuki said.

	"Assuming anyone besides me knows how to ride a 
horse," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Oh please, it can't be any harder than riding a 
motorcycle," Onna-Harima said.

	Otoko-Eri grinned in an almost feral manner.

***************

	"OWW!!!!"

	"AAAAAAAA!!!!!"

	"OWWW!!!"

	Fretfully, from horseback, Yuri asked Tae, "Those 
aren't significant head injuries, are they?"

	Tae, who wobbled in the saddle, but managed to stay 
on her horse as it paced nervously, said, "Don't worry, 
Hario's skull is so thick, I don't think he's hurt."

	"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!"

***********

	They finally got on their way, with the Defenders 
scattered among them to help the inexperienced and Yuri 
and Tani-sensei and Otoko-Eri taking the lead (as all three 
had more horse riding experience than anyone else in their 
group).  

	Travel across the plains was thankfully peaceful.  
They finally rode up to the gates of Sukuran City, then 
passed through the city towards Sukuran Castle.  Great 
crowds came out to stare at them.

	Mikoto whispered to Martial Artist Mikoto, "Are you 
guys famous?"

	"Infamous, maybe," Martial Artist Mikoto said, 
laughing nervously.  "But we're the Princess' future guards 
and assistants in training, so yes.  When she's Queen, we'll 
be her special guards, ministers, and task force of 
heroines."

	"And heroes," Cabana Boy Nara added, waving to the 
crowds.  He seemed to bask in the adulation like a cat in the 
sun.

	"Wow," Mikoto said.  She felt kind of envious.  

	There were lots of confused whispers passing through 
the crowds.  

	Hanai felt, deep in his heart, this was no doubt a 
prelude to a riot.  He began contemplating options just in 
case.

	They reached the huge towering palace at the center of 
town after a long march up a hill; its five towers stretched 
skywards, glittering gold and bronze and topped with onion 
domes.  Majordomo Hibiki stood at the gate, staring in 
surprise.

	Martial Artist Mikoto took the lead, stepping up and 
bowing.  "We come with a small army of heroes from a 
parallel universe."

	"Dammit, not again," Majordomo Hibiki mumbled, 
then more loudly said, "Welcome.  Are you missing 
anyone?  We acquired some other doubles recently."

	"I don't suppose you have Karasuma-san?" Tenma 
asked nervously.

	"Yes, we do.  The Princess has been nursing him to 
health."  

	Tenma felt nervous.  "Is she trained as a nurse?"

	"Of course not, but he's survived it anyway," 
Majordomo Hibiki said.  "Come in, I'll take you to him."

	"I'll take you three to the Archmagus," Sorceress Eri 
said to Lady Harima, Onna-Harima, and Otoko-Eri.

	"FINALLY," Onna-Harima said.  

	"I want to see Karasuma-kun," Tenma said.

	"Take the rest of us to the Princess," Martial Artist 
Mikoto said.  "We must report in to her."

	"Follow me."

***************

	The Archmagus looked suspiciously like the Principal 
back home to Onna-Harima, who got a nervous feeling.  He 
got out a giant lens and studied the three of them, Sorceress 
Eri, Witch Yakumo, and Yakumo for good measure.

	"Fascinating.  I didn't think you potent enough to 
transform people permanently, Sorcress Eri," he said.

	"It was HIS fault," Sorceress Eri said, pointing to 
Otoko-Eri, who grumbled.

	"Amazing.  Well, sometimes novices can fumble their 
way to a great deed," the Archmagus said.

	Otoko-Eri grumbled more.

	"The solution, of course, is simple," the Archmagus 
said, setting aside his lens.

	Onna-Harima gave a sigh of relief.

	"You must storm the lair of the Green Dragon Clan 
and recover the Belt of Gender-Bending.  This should turn 
them all back to normal."

	"Are they ninjas?  Bandits?  Goblins?" Onna-Harima 
asked.  Must be this world's equivalent of that stupid gang 
we clobbered.

	"You can't do it yourself?" Otoko-Eri asked in 
surprise.

	"Wise Old Men are not allowed to help the heroes 
without sending them on a quest first," he said 
apologetically.  "It's the easiest quest I have on file."

	"Are they ninjas?  Bandits?  Goblins?" Onna-Harima 
asked again, slightly miffed.

	"They're Green Dragons.  Hence the name."

	"..."

	"Got any magic bullets?" Otoko-Eri asked.

	"Do we get to punch them out or is this a stealth 
mission with no punching?" Lady Harima asked.

	"Is this gonna be a bug hunt?" Otoko-Eri asked.  It had 
to be said in this sort of situation, really.

	"Do whatever you feel like to get it," the Old Man 
said.  

	"Anything you can do to help them keep their 
identities straight?" Yakumo asked hesitantly.

	"Hey, I'm completely sure of my identity," Lady 
Harima said.  "She's the one who keeps checking out cute 
guys before I can," she said, pointing to Onna-Harima.

	"Hmm.  If I remember correctly, sex helps you avoid 
losing your identity, but this is a family universe, so you 
probably won't manage to have any," the Archmage said.

	"Our teachers have loud, noisy sex every night!" 
Otoko-Eri protested.

	"Really?  Our rating must have changed.  Well, in that 
case, knock yourself out."  He paused, looking at Sorcress 
Eri and Witch Yakumo meaningfully.  "That's a 
metaphorical knock out."

	"You're kidding, right?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "How 
would sex help?"

	"It initializes the flow of positive energy to your 
chakras, reinforcing your deep metaphysical structures, 
such as identity," the Archmagus said confidently, waving 
his hands about.  "Really, though, you're all too young for 
sex, so forget about that.  In which case, I recommend the 
Harima read lots of books with punching and that Eri read 
lots of romance novels."

	"But I don't LIKE romance novels," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Then your identity may be damaged until you get the 
belt."

	Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	Books with punching, Onna-Harima thought.  
JACKPOT.

	"Let's go get some books with punching," Lady 
Harima said to Onna-Harima.

	"You're on!"  

	They skipped off together, arm in arm, leaving Otoko-
Eri to grumble as Witch Yakumo and Sorceress Eri 
dragged her off in search of romance novels.

	Once they were gone, Yakumo asked very hesitantly, 
"When you said sex..."

	"Hmm, yes, intercourse, the beast with two backs, 
bouncing monkeys, whatever they call it in your world," 
the Archmagus said.

	Yakumo blushed.  "How...much?"

	"Nightly, at bare minimum.  But really, you're too 
young.  You can help your boyfriend with the difficult bits 
in between the punches in the books; that's probably your 
best way to help."  He smiled at her.  "Good luck."

	She blushed.  "Am I that obvious?"

	"Yes."

	"Thank you," she said, bowing.  "Is there anything else 
at all I could do for him too?"

	"Just keep reminding him when he wavers," the 
Archmage said.

	"I will," she said, and headed out after the others.

	Later, he consulted his book on gender-bending to 
double-check his statements to them.  Oh, the sex will 
stimulate the chakras of the new identity...well, they surely 
won't have sex after I told them not to, anyway.  They look 
like good kids.  I'm sure it will be just fine, he thought.

*************
	
	"Karasuma-kun!" Tenma squealed as soon as they 
reached Princess Tenma's chambers.  She ran right at him.

	"DOPPLEGANGER!" he shouted, somehow drawing 
a sword and charging at her.  

	Hanai moved swiftly, disarmed him, then knocked 
him to the ground.  "Something's wrong with him."

	"I never got the idols so I couldn't take a level of 
Priestess and cure him!" Princess Tenma said frantically.

	Priestess Sara sighed, moved up, laid her hands on 
him as Hanai pinned his head with a foot, and cured him.  
"He's been eating bad mushrooms, I think."

	Karasuma sat up with a flat expression.  His eyes 
looked a little strange.  "Thank you, Priestess," he said.

	Tenma took his hand.  "I'm not a doppleganger."

	"I know," he said.  "We need you to heal my 
bandmates, Priestess Sara."

	Priestess Sara nodded.  "Sara and I will take care of 
them."

	We will?  I can do that? Sara thought.  But I don't 
know how.

	"Thank you," Karasuma said.

	Priestess Sara dragged Sara off.  They walked through 
the palace, until Sara finally said, "I don't know how to heal 
anyone.  I know how to do exorcisms..."

	"Don't forget you get a new miracle at each level.  
Have you leveled yourself?" Priestess Sara said.  

	Sara found this all very surreal.  She cocked her head 
and thought.  "No."

	"Okay, if you want to optimize healing..."  A veritable 
storm of jargon followed; Sara found it hard to come up 
with, and finally just took Priestess Sara's advice on how to 
get some healing.  

	"I've been thinking about taking a level of Girlfriend, 
since I do have a boyfriend," Sara said.  

	"Fortunately, Girlfriend is a favored class for women, 
so you won't take an XP penalty," Priestess Sara said.  
"You really only need a few levels unless you're in a Love 
For the Ages (TM) or you plan to multi-class with Harem 
Ninja or Seducer.  Really, the best low-level thing in it is 
the mental calendar so you never forget anniversaries and 
other events so you can berate your boyfriend when he 
does."

	That could be useful, Sara thought.  "Next time I level 
up, then."

	Priestess Sara nods.  "Which reminds me that I'm 
going to have to yell at Swordsman Asou for missing our 
four month anniversary."

	"Isn't he in detention?"

	"That's no excuse," Priestess Sara said.  "He'll never 
learn if I don't train him."

	"True," Sara thought.  Men often do have a high 
learning threshold.

***************

	Otoko-Eri sat with Witch Yakumo, reading about 
Green Dragons, while Sorceress Eri got a pile of romance 
novels for him.  Quietly, in the background, Asou was 
reading a book titled 'Basic Cosmology'.  Meanwhile, the 
Harimas were piling up a small mountain of martial arts 
stories and manga and boxing stories.  

	This led to acting out scenes, followed by simply 
beating each other up for no reason at all.  Otoko-Eri 
watched them slowly ripping each other's clothing off and 
felt himself get excited.  He tried to not watch, but it drew 
his eyes like magnets.  "Can't you zap my brain and make 
me not...you know..." he asked Witch Yakumo.

	"It's not healthy; when it was all released, you'd 
probably do something hideously stupid," Witch Yakumo 
said.  "Not that I would possibly know from experience or 
anything."

	There was a moment of silence, with only punches and 
Sorceress Eri humming a cheerful tune to break it.

	"It's just...I mean...I shouldn't but I want...no, I don't 
want it," Otoko-Eri said.

	"You crave it," Witch Yakumo said.

	"I just...looking at you doesn't do that for me," Otoko-
Eri said.  Not much.  Witch Yakumo was pretty good 
looking, but her outfit hid her figure too much.  Also, 
Tenma's extra-dimensional sister, so NOT GOING 
THERE.

	Much.

	Witch Yakumo frowned.  "You don't think I'm cute?"

	A tiny voice spoke in Otoko-Eri's head, telling him to 
flee and NEVER COME BACK.  But he never listened.  
"You're okay looking, but that outfit isn't very flattering."

	"It precisely focuses my power," Witch Yakumo said, 
sounding displeased.  She glanced over at Sorceress Eri.  
"Do you think she's attractive?"
	
	"She's ME," Otoko-Eri said.  "She doesn't turn me on."  
Much, he thought.  No, not attractive at all.  

	"Good point," Witch Yakumo said, then her eyes 
flickered slightly as Lady Harima's blouse tore open.  "Oh 
dear, sewing that will be annoying."

	"Can't you fix it with magic?" Otoko-Eri asked, 
feeling jealous.

	"My powers incline more to the mind and nature," 
Witch Yakumo said.

	Then she looked around.  "Shouldn't Yakumo be here 
by now?"

	"She's probably off seeing to her sister," Otoko-Eri 
said.  "She'll be fine."

**************

	There really was no other choice, Yakumo thought.  
Even though the idea kind of scared her, she was going to 
have to try and...with Harima.  The problem was that she 
only had a vague idea how it worked with a man-woman 
combination.  How did two women do it?  

	Fortunately, she could at least ask Itoko-sensei.  It 
took a little effort to pull her and Sasakura-sensei aside.  
"Sensei, I..." she began, but her brain melted as she tried to 
speak and only incoherent noises came out.

	"Are you out of tampons?" Sasakura-sensei asked.

	"I use pads," Yakumo managed to blurt out.  "Tenma 
managed to clog the toilet with too many tampons at once 
one time and our parents won't let us buy them any more."

	"Are you sick?" Itoko-sensei asked.

	"No, I...we talked to...I mean..."  Yakumo shifted back 
and forth.  "Maybe I should bother you another time."

	"Looking for advice on having a girlfriend now?" 
Sasakura-sensei asked.

	"I...yeah," Yakumo mumbled.

	"Just think about how you'd like to be treated," 
Sasakura-sensei said.

	"But I don't know how I want to be treated," Yakumo 
mumbled.  "I haven't done this before."

	"You are a woman," Sasakura-sensei said.  "Just think 
about what you like and do that for her.  Or ask her what 
she expects of you."

	I'm not sure if Kenji-kun EVER knows what he wants, 
Yakumo thought.  "I...okay."

	"Given Kenji has NO COMMON SENSE, you should 
probably stock up some feminine products for him," Itoko-
sensei said.  "Just to be safe."

	"I...okay.  Thank you for the advice," Yakumo said, 
then ran off before she could faint from embarrassment.  

***************

	Fuyuki looked at himself in his cabana boy outfit.  "Is 
this really necessary?" he asked, feeling ridiculous.

	Sagano ran her hands up and down him in a way that 
made his body very excited.  He wished he knew if she was 
serious or just being overly friendly, as was her wont.  She 
looked quite hot in her harem ninja outfit, and...and it was 
best not to think about it too much.  "Flaunting your body 
makes you stronger," she said, striking a pose that made his 
eyes widen.  He trembled, having to hold himself back 
from just jumping at her.

	"You're supposed to lose control when I do that," she 
said.  "I've been waiting for you to show up for forever, 
having to hold myself back from jumping on the other-
dimensional you and now you're supposed to reward me for 
being good," she said.

	That was one advantage with dealing with Sagano; she 
was always pretty clear on what she wanted.  It just often 
was something foolish.

	"You want me to..." he began, just to be sure.

	"Yes.  Don't make me get desperate and seduce Nara, 
who is now looking strangely hot, but who I am avoiding 
due to him having a girlfriend who would probably leave 
my remains in three different universes," Sagano said 
without stopping.  

	"Well, in that case..."

	He overshot the initial jump, landing in a bush.  But 
that tore off some of his clothing, so in the end, it really did 
advance matters, anyway...

**************

	They would leave the next morning; this wasn't soon 
enough for Karen, who was worried about Imadori.  Also, 
watching Lala and Martial Artist Hanai snuggle was 
making her jumpy.  

	Wait for me, Imadori, she thought.  Though she feared 
this wasn't too likely.

***************

	Imadori studied the application.  Moroboshi 
Ataru...the name did have a nice ring to it.  But some of the 
things on his resume looked rather bogus.  'Oniboshi 
Academy'?  Buddha couldn't find it anywhere.  'Minor in 
Surviving Electrocution'.  A useful skill if you're an 
electrician...but for a sex ed instructor?  Even Imadori felt 
worried about the possibilities. 

	On the other hand, his references had been strangely 
enthusiastic, urging them to hire him, even if it would take 
him hundreds of miles from his hometown.  They really 
were looking out for the man's real interests, Imadori 
thought.  That had to be a good omen.

	He'd have to see how the interview went.  But for 
now, it was time to play with Mai.

	Yeah.  It was good to be the president.

***************

	"So when we pose..." Nara said to Lord Fuyuki.

	"It's a charm effect," Lord Fuyuki said.  "Not much 
good with monsters, but women go crazy for it," Lord 
Fuyuki said.  "Amped by the charisma bonus from wearing 
our class uniform.  Makes it easy to pick up women."  He 
grinned.

	Nara's eyes crossed as he imagined himself posing for, 
say, Mikoto or Tenma or Lala or Eri...no, not Eri right now.  
It was rather tempting, but he told himself not to do it.  He 
had a girlfriend and should be satisfied with one, even if his 
parents made it work just fine with multiple girlfriends.

	He thought about Akira instead to escape the 
temptation and was soon having very happy thoughts.  
Until he walked into a wall due to thinking a little TOO 
MUCH about Akira, anyway.
  
***************

	Nurse Witch Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama finished 
bandaging Lady Harima's forehead.  "They should be fine 
in the morning once they get some rest."  She sighed.  "Try 
not to let them attempt to do Roshambo with their 
foreheads in the future, though."

	"I'll try," Yakumo said.

	Otoko-Eri sighed.  "Not a lick of sense between 
them."

	"This isn't going to lead to whacky amnesia, is it?"  
Witch Yakumo asked.

	"I believe their skulls are too thick," Nurse Witch 
Teacher Girlfriend Tae-sama said.  "But you'd best test 
their memories in the morning."

	We're doomed, Otoko-Eri thought.  Doomed. 

*****************
	
	Otoko-Eri was very nervous.  Was sleeping with the 
guys such a good idea?  I am a guy right now, but still...it 
felt weird.  However, his friends had kicked their men out 
and were having a girls only party, which meant the various 
boyfriends were having their own party.  Unfortunately, his 
girlfriend was unconscious from headbutting.  Stupid 
Kenji.  Not that she would have been here, but...

	"Of course, the worst part is that she won't even tell 
me what it is that I forgot," Hanai said, sighing as he sipped 
his sake.

	"Of course not.  You're supposed to remember the 
time she gave you a lunch when you were eight," Asou 
said, shaking his head.  

	We're not THAT bad, Otoko-Eri thought, sipping his 
own sake.  Are we?

	"There's always that feeling of things going on that 
they won't tell you about, but which they expect you to 
intuitively know," Nara said, shaking his head.  "I think 
Akira has secrets enough for 20 girlfriends."

	"I wish she was less fickle," Otoko-Eri said, sipping 
his sake again and surprising himself.  "I mean, I told her I 
love her.  And she can't even decide what's in her head."  
He was starting to feel a little bitter, possibly the sake 
talking.

	"Yeah, that was a pretty bold thing to do," Nara said.  
"I could never be that brave."

	"I should have known better.  I know how much of a 
flake she is," Otoko-Eri said, grumblingly.  "And the whole 
Tenma obsession.  EVEN THOUGH ANY FOOL COULD 
SEE TENMA WANTS KARASUMA."  He tried to turn 
his voice down.  

	"Wait...he dated Yakumo while being obsessed with 
Tenma?" Hanai asked.

	"Yeah," Otoko-Eri grumbled.

	"THAT CAD!" Hanai rose to his feet.  "I must punish 
him!"

	Otoko-Eri grabbed his shoulder.  "No one punishes her 
but me!  That's over now."

	"I cannot tolerate..." Hanai began.

	"Let's not fight, okay?" Asou said.  Not until I gain a 
few levels, anyway.

	"Try thinking about your own girlfriend instead of 
Yakumo," Otoko-Eri hissed, getting angry.

	"You sound like Takano," he snapped back.

	Nara vibrated helplessly in the background, not 
knowing what to do.

	Asou stepped forward.  "Come on," he said. "Let's not 
fight.  We want to relax before we go belt-questing, right?  
You don't think the women are fighting, do you?"

	"True," Hanai said, stepping back.

	"Yeah," Otoko-Eri grumbled, staring at the floor.

	Even if they did start fighting, Asou was sure Sara 
would do something to stop it.  She was just a very 
peaceful, gentle person.

****************

	Sara was breathing hard by the time she healed the last 
bruise.  It was so incredibly wonderful, being able to heal 
people.  But it was also exhausting to do so many.

	Next time, no sake at the party, she thought.  And no 
discussion of Harima.  Or Hanai.  OR ANYONE MALE.

	At least the guys probably aren't beating each other 
up, she thought.  Asou will keep the peace.  She smiled a 
little.  I'm so lucky, she thought.  And she just needed a 
little more XP to get the level in Girlfriend.  

	Maybe I should go see if the castle needs any rats 
taken care of, she thought.  She studied the numbers 
floating over the brawlers enviously.  Being a peacemaker 
was not so well rewarded.  But she would be virtuous.  I 
serve God, not XP, she thought.  

	Maybe someone was possessed...that would get her 
some XP if she exorcised them.  There had to be 
something...

*************

	"You're too high level for the rat quest," the royal 
ratcatcher told her. 

	"I just need 300 XP to level," Sara said.  "Do you have 
any quests I can do?"

	The man cocked his head.  "Get me a ham sandwich."

	"What?  That'll get me 300 XP?"  SUSPICIOUSLY 
EASY.  Maybe it's because I don't have the rest of the party 
with me, she thought.

	"I dunno.  It's the only other quest I have," he said.  
"I'm really not all that important."

	"A ham sandwich it is," Sara said.  She paused.  "Just 
from the kitchens, right?"

	"Just from the kitchens," the royal ratcatcher said.

	"Okay, I'm off," Sara said.

	Twenty minutes later, she had to admit she was 
completely lost.  She wasn't high enough level for a finding 
miracle, either.  In fact, she was now lost in a maze of 
twisty, bendy passages all alike. And if her cross hadn't 
started glowing after the last time she levelled, she'd be in 
the dark, too.

	She could hear something...moving...lurking just out 
of sight.

	So she tried an old trick, covering her cross with her 
hands and letting all grow dark.  The footsteps drew closer, 
closer...closer...

	As they were ALMOST right behind her, she let the 
cross light shine again and spun, drawing her pistols.

	The unfortunate grue screamed.  "AAAAAAA!!!!"  It 
disintegrated to dust, caught in the light.  BING, 290 XP.  
She just needed ten now.  Ten lousy XP.

	She finally reached the kitchens, made a sandwich (+5 
XP), then began heading back towards the ratcatcher's 
room.

	And then there was a blur and a flash of dark hair and 
the sandwich was blurring off down the hallway in the 
hands of someone who looked suspiciously like Satsuki.  "I 
win again!" she shouted.

	Sara ran after Satsuki.  "I need that sandwich to level 
up!"

	"Oooh, the sandwich quest!  It refreshed!  Gonna 
score me some easy XP, then!"  Satsuki, if that's who it 
was, kept running.

	Sara ran through her miracles in her head.  None of 
them were very good for a non-lethal take down.  Satsuki 
was a bit of a brat, but she really couldn't justify frying 
Satsuki with holy fire.  Not over a sandwich.

	Then it hit her.  Somewhat of a waste of holy water, 
but...

	She hurled the bottle at Satsuki's feet, and the holy 
water formed a puddle, on which Satsuki slipped and fell.  
Sara ran up and grabbed the sandwich.  "Satsuki, you 
really.."  Something wasn't quite right.  "Satsuki, is that 
you?"

	"I am Thief Satsuki," Satsuki said ruefully as she sat 
up.  "You must be Priestess Sara of the Other World."

	"Yes," Sara said, helping her up.  "Not a random 
intruder you can rob."

	"Sorry, but I was just trying to get even for Priestess 
Sara's last gag," Thief Satsuki said.  She sighed.  "Well, 
enjoy your sandwich."

	As Thief Satsuki headed out, Sara waved and headed 
off to find the ratcatcher.  He was busy pouring potions of 
polymorphing into cheesesteak down a rat hole when she 
arrived.  "Here's your sandwich," she said, presenting it.

	"This is a stuffed toy sandwich," he said, pointing to 
it.  It was indeed a stuffed toy that resembled a ham 
sandwich.  

	"..."  But..how...THIEF SATSUKI, Sara thought.  
Now it was time for Holy Fire.

*************
		
	Asou was in the process of changing into pajamas for 
bed, along with Suga, when Sara threw the door open.  
"Asou-kun, I need you NOW."

	Suga's eyes widened.  "Well, damn, I wish my 
girlfriend would rush in like that."

	Asou paused, currently shirtless.  "We...uh...now?" he 
asked nervously.

	"I cannot wait a single second more!  Grab your sword 
and come!"  Sara said, coming over to take one of his 
hands.

	Suga's brain began constructing scenarios, then 
overloading.  

	"But...sword...wait..."

	He managed to grab his sword as he was dragged off.

	So jealous, Suga thought.  SO JEALOUS.

*****************

	Swordsman Suga was almost done with his half of the 
ham sandwich when the door cracked open and Sara, 
wreathed in holy fire, crashed through it, with a confused 
looking Asou in tow.  He turned to Thief Satsuki, asking, 
"Is she here to seduce us or to kill us?"

	"Uh oh," Thief Satsuki mumbled.

	"Uh oh?"

	"I...borrowed the sandwich you're eating from her," 
Thief Satsuki mumbled.

	"Dammit, you are buying off the kleptomania flaw 
next time you level!" Swordsman Suga said.

	"You...ate...the sandwich," Sara said, her eyes glowing 
with flame.

	Swordsman Suga laughed nervously.  "Yeah."

	"Just now?"

	He nodded.

	"Maybe I can extract its remains from your stomach 
and heal it back to life," Sara said, her voice slightly 
crazed.  "Asou-kun, give me your sword, I need to perform 
a Ceasarian."

	"Can't we just go to the kitchen and get another 
sandwich?" Asou asked again, keeping his sword out of her 
reach.

	"I poured all my heart and soul into that sandwich!" 
Sara said.  "So I get the XP to level up in Girlfriend for you 
so I could be a better girlfriend!  Now give me your sword 
so I can get the sandwich back!!!!"

	Asou knew enough of the laws of woman to 
understand that he could never possibly argue with 'I was 
trying to help our relationship.'  Couldn't be done.  "Can't 
you just kill a rat?"

	"THERE ARE NO RATS.  GIVE ME YOUR 
SWORD," Sara said.  She appeared to have grown to 20 
feet tall and loomed over Asou, glowing with holy fire.

	"Look, I don't want to see an extradimensional Suga 
die over a sandwich," Asou began.

	"Listen to him!  He's wise!" Swordsman Suga said.

	"Also, since you're a priestess, you can get five times 
your level in XP by praying in the chapel each night," Asou 
said.

	Sara paused.  "I can?"

	"I decided to spend some time studying cosmology, so 
I would know what is going on better," Asou said.  "Each 
class has a 'practice' function.  It's only really useful at low 
levels, but..."

	"LET US PRAY!"  She dragged Asou off, still shining 
with holy fire.

	"Shouldn't she burn his hand?" Thief Satsuki asked as 
she came out of hiding.

	"It only hurts those you're angry at," Swordsman Suga 
said.  "Anyway, no more sandwich theft."

	"I swear I won't steal any more sandwiches tonight," 
Thief Satsuki said.  While I'm in this room, anyway.

*****************

	Otoko-Eri tried to sleep, but he couldn't.  He kept 
thinking about what the Archmagus had said.  But if they 
did that, he'd have to...as a...his eyes crossed.

	He wasn't even sure how to do it.  Part of him wanted 
to try anyway, part was confused, and part was extremely 
nervous and not sure it was a good idea.  Surely it would 
make him feel more like a boy, right?  

	Also, doing it when Kenji might be suffering whacky 
amnesia could get messy.  Plus, she was supposed to be 
resting.  

	Really, it was best to stay in bed, get a good night's 
rest and be ready to leave on a quest tomorrow.

	He heard footsteps in the hall.  It wasn't Kenji, was it?  
Probably roaming around looking for someone to punch.  
He went to the door and peeked and saw Yakumo go by.

	She was going to steal a march on him!  He couldn't 
allow that.  Given her sister was doing it with Karasuma, 
she'd probably gotten her sister's secrets and was going to 
use them...

	He couldn't allow that.  NO WAY.

	He snuck out and followed her; she went right to 
Kenji's door and knocked, then went in.

	So he walked up to the door and knocked.  Onna-
Harima answered.  "Shouldn't you be in bed?" she asked.

	"What, Yakumo can come in and I can't?" he asked.

	"You're trying to sneak into a girl's room at night!  
That's just wrong," Onna-Harima said, waggling a finger.

	"But the Archimagus did say we ought to...umm...you 
know..."  Otoko-Eri felt himself getting very nervous.

	"Read those books, yeah," Onna-Harima said.

	"No...I mean..."  Maybe this was a bad idea, he 
thought.

	"You...oh."  She blushed.  "Ecchi."

	"Ecchi?  It's doctor's orders!  And...I didn't even 
manage to SAY it," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Go to bed, pervert," Onna-Harima said.

	"Pervert?  You've got a girl in your room!" Otoko-Eri 
said.

	"And I'm a girl too.  So no problem."  Onna-Harima 
stuck her tongue out.

	Yakumo smiled benevolently at Otoko-Eri from 
behind Onna-Harima.  No, really.

	"It isn't fair to let her come in and keep me out," 
Otoko-Eri said, trying to step forward.  "You should..."

	Strong hands grabbed him.  The Castellan said, 
"Trying to force your way into a girl's room?  How 
horrible."

	"No...I wasn't..."

	The Castellan threw him over one shoulder and began 
to haul him off.  "No means no, you know."

	"Goodnight, Eri-san," Onna-Harima said, waving as 
the Castellan dragged him away.

	"I wasn't trying to do anything wrong!" Otoko-Eri 
wailed as he was hauled away.

	"You're just young and horny.  I'll just have to lock 
you in for your own good."

	"DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMITTTTT!!!!"

************

	Normally, Yakumo would have intervened; Otoko-Eri 
meant well.  But not with her boyfriend.  He was hers, and 
that was it.  Right?

	She'd come, meaning to talk about...sex and whether it 
might really help, but now she was way too embarrassed by 
the idea of it.  Also, she didn't know how...with another 
girl.  And would it help?

	So she decided to just stay with her that night and 
further stake her claim, until she figured out what to do.  
That had to be best.

	Then a thought struck her.  She could take a level of 
girlfriend; she hadn't levelled yet.  Maybe that would guide 
her.

	She went through with it, only to find that while she 
could now remember the day she first met Kenji-kun, and 
that their six month anniversary of knowing each other was 
coming up, it didn't offer any advice on sex, though she did 
have some new ideas on kissing...

	Well, that was a start.

************

	Onna-Harima laid in bed with Yakumo by her and 
tried to figure out what was in her head.  The thought 
of...sex...with Otoko-Eri kind of excited her, scared her, 
and nauseated her at once.  So long as she could hold onto 
the idea of being a boy, she didn't want to do it.  But it was 
getting harder to hold onto that.

	And the girl side of her seemed to increasingly have 
an interest in Eri the boy.  Which made it hard to think as 
her personality aspects had very differing views on the 
situation.

	I need a cure and quick, she thought.  But they had to 
fight the stupid Green Dragons.  I hope we kick their ass 
FAST, she thought.  

	As sex was out.  Right?  

*****************

	Tani-sensei, Yuri, Tae-sensei, Itoko-sensei, and 
Sasakura-sensei held a council of war with the wiser of the 
Defenders and laid down plans to go recover the belt.  They 
had enough people to handle the Quest without needing 
most of the Defenders, although Martial Artist Hanai would 
come with his crew on Lala's insistence and to act as a 
native guide.  Lady Harima also had to come, which meant 
Witch Yakumo and Sorcress Eri would be in tow.

	They assembled their crew and moved out.

************

	It was a bug hunt, Onna-Harima concluded after 
fighting off hordes of giant scorpions, spiders, centipedes, 
lady-bugs, hornets, wasps, silverfish, and cockroaches.  It 
seemed as if the deep forest was overrun with giant insects 
to her.

	Tenma shot another bug out of the air, wishing she'd 
brought some insect spray.  She was back to back with 
Otoko-Eri, blowing bugs out of the sky.  It was pretty 
exciting, really.  She could see Karasuma running up a tree 
and leaping onto the back of a giant hornet, so she waved. 

	He waved back as he controlled it with his knees, 
though this caused him to crash into a tree.

	"Karasuma-kun!"  She sprinted across the field 
towards him as insects buzzed and scurried everywhere.

	"Tenma-chan!" Otoko-Eri shouted, running after her.

	"Tsukamoto-san!" Karasuma said.  "Watch out for..."

	Then the spider pounced on Tenma.  She was knocked 
to the ground, but managed to hold onto her bow.  As they 
both ran towards her, she took an arrow and stabbed it in 
the eye.  "YOU ARE STOPPING ME FROM REACHING 
KARASUMA-KUN!!!!"

	Otoko-Eri stopped and laughed, while Karasuma 
kicked it off her and helped her up.  Never get in that girl's 
way, Otoko-Eri thought.

*************
	
	Yakumo tried to think of some way to arrange 
sleeping so that no one would wake up screaming in the 
morning and knock the tent down.  

	Maybe if I sleep between Kenji-kun and my sister, and 
then Sawachika-sempai sleeps on the other side of my 
sister...  But she'll want to be closer to Kenji-kun.  

	Yakumo frowned at that.  He acted all weird about 
Sawachika-sempai, and she couldn't tell if it was the magic 
or if maybe he did like her or...or what.  

	She started when Onna-Harima hugged her from 
behind.  "Kenji-kun?" she asked weakly.

	"Hey, what are you thinking about?" she asked 
Yakumo softly.  

	Yakumo felt nervous.  "Nothing," she said, unable to 
admit and glad he couldn't read her thoughts.  She could 
see his thoughts; he was worried about her, which made her 
feel better.  "Just thinking about the future."

	"We'll be fine."

	"Unless we miss the manga deadline," Yakumo said.  
Her level of girlfriend had reminded her of that.  

 	Onna-Harima's eyes bulged.  "DAMMIT!  How can 
you remember that in a situation like this, anyway?"

 	Yakumo explained, "I leveled up in girlfriend and it 
reminded me of a lot of anniversaries and deadlines."  She 
thought for a minute.  "Well, if we get some paper, we can 
work on it," Yakumo said.

	They had gotten about three pages in when Onna-
Harima said, "You know...this kind of reminds me of this 
place.  Our manga, I mean."

	Yakumo blinked and studied it.  "There are 
similarities, but it's a coincidence, right?"

	Onna-Harima wrinkled her nose.  "You're right, it 
must be a coincidence.  Okay, let's work."

	Yakumo nodded and they got down to it.

**************
	
	Otoko-Eri returned from hanging out with his friends 
after dinner and found Onna-Harima and Yakumo slumped 
over, asleep on top of pages of drawings.  He studied the 
pictures briefly.  Of all the times to draw a manga, he 
thought.  

	Carefully, he picked them both up and dragged them 
to the tent, then carefully stacked the sheets and put them 
with Yakumo's backpack.  Where did they find paper out 
here, anyway, he wondered.

	He sat down on a rock and stared up at the stars, 
wondering what to do about the whole mess.  His thoughts 
were interrupted by Sagano draping herself over him from 
behind.  "Hey, handsome."

	"Still not a boy," Otoko-Eri said instinctively.  "Also, 
your new boyfriend wouldn't like this."  And he was 
enjoying it too much for his own good, he was sure.  
Feeling her body pressed to him made him wish Onna-
Harima would do that.  Or maybe Tenma or...no, no, kill 
this line of thought.

	"We're not...I mean..."  Sagano let go, looking 
embarrassed.  "Well, I guess we are.  I just...nevermind."  
she ran off, looking flushed and leaving Otoko-Eri 
confused.

	He tried to relax, but now he could hear soft moaning 
from Akira's tent.  Slowly getting louder.  It seemed like 
Akira just couldn't get enough of the boy; Otoko-Eri didn't 
get it.  Nara was a nice guy, but inspiring that kind of 
passion?  He was like Tenma, kind of childish looking for 
his age.

	Tenma at least had...

	Not going there.

	It seemed like everyone was hooking up. Although 
Yuuki was available.  And kind of cute.  

	NOT GOING THERE.

	Mikoto really had...

	He shook his head, but his body felt all jumpy and 
excited.  He liked it and feared it at once.  He also wasn't 
sure what to do about it.  He knew how...but how did guys?  
Though it probably involved...

	Not going there.  If he did...that, it would be a clear 
sign he really was a guy now.  And he wasn't going to go 
all guy.  Not unless Onna-Harima wanted to...

	Would he, if she asked, though she'd never ever ask.  
He had a feeling the answer was yes, and he was very 
curious and...

	He had to get up and walk around, feeling more 
restless.  He had that deep down in the bones feeling he 
knew meant he was likely about to do something stupid, 
and he had to at least try to delay it until some disaster took 
away the trouble.

	He wandered for a bit, until he got far enough away 
from the camp that he couldn't hear anyone having sex.  He 
sat down under a tree to fight his instincts again.

	To his surprise, he heard footsteps.  "Ken..." he began, 
then realized it was Sara.  "Sara-san?"

	"Are you alright?" Sara asked in English, her hair 
shining softly in the moonlight.  She was very cute, Otoko-
Eri thought.

	"Yes," he replied in English.  "Just thinking."

	"You look troubled," Sara said, kneeling down by 
him.  "Worried about your love future?"

	"No, of course not," Otoko-Harima said instinctively.  
"Love is stupid."  He had to try to not look at her directly, 
not in his nervously excited state.

	"I admire your usual bravery in love," Sara said.  "I'm 
not good at that.  Harima-kun's lucky to have two women 
devoted to him.  Though he really shouldn't lead you both 
on."  She frowned.

	"I can't figure him out," Otoko-Eri said.  "He comes 
onto me, then pulls away and then she gets all jealous when 
I accidentally kiss Yakumo, and..."

	"You sure it was an accident?" Sara asked softly.

	"Of course!  I don't kiss girls even if they're cute like 
you or Yakumo!" Otoko-Eri protested.  "Or think about 
them in scanty clothing or..."

	Sara blushed.  "You think of me in scanty clothing?"

	"No!" Otoko-Eri said, thinking of her in a bikini.  He 
liked it, though he liked Onna-Harima more in a bikini or 
maybe topless or...

	"You are very handsome and would probably kiss 
well, but I have a boyfriend and I just took a level in 
girlfriend for his sake and..." Sara began to babble.

	"Am I really that good looking to women now?" 
Otoko-Eri asked.

	"Yes," she said.  "So slender and blonde and kind 
of...of...I wonder if the first level of boyfriend gives men 
kissing techniques like I got from...oh dear, I'm having 
naughty thoughts, and I'm narrarrating myself and I have to 
go now..."

	Sara rose and sprinted off.  

	He laughed softly.  It helped a little to know that 
others could have the same problem as him.  Kissing 
techniques?  From a level in boyfriend...he did have 
unspent XP and they might be useful if he did 
try...that...with Onna-Harima.  

	After a little bit, Asou showed up.  "Did something 
happen?" he asked, frowning.

	"We just talked," Otoko-Eri said.  

	"What is she atoning for, then?" he asked, frowning 
more.

	"Impure thoughts," Otoko-Eri said.  "I think."

	"You flirting with her?" Asou said, darkening further.

	He's jealous, Otoko-Eri thought.  "She was flirting 
with me, really," he said.  Okay, not wisest thing to say, he 
realized.

	"You've been going around, kissing all these women 
and..." Asou began.

	"Accidents," Otoko-Eri said, now feeling worried; 
Asou sounded pretty cross.  "We haven't done anything 
even though she finds me attractive."  Dammit, stop 
bragging.  What is wrong with me, he asked himself.  The 
answer was that he wanted a fight as a distraction from his 
body going crazy.

	"Don't even THINK of trying anything with her," 
Asou said, folding his arms across his chest.

	"Or what?" Otoko-Eri asked.  "And I'm still a woman 
on the inside, so I'd rather have my way with you."   But he 
wasn't feeling so sure of that; there felt like more women in 
his head than men at the moment.

	Asou's eyes crossed a moment.  "Just don't try 
anything," he said, a little more weakly.

	"Fine.  My eyes are elsewhere," Otoko-Eri said 
crankily.

	"Good," Asou said, leaving quickly.
	
	Otoko-Eri had half convinced himself to go jump in 
the nearby stream, having the vague idea that cold water 
could snap you out of this, when Suga came up to him.  
"Hey, you okay, out here?"

	"Fine," Otoko-Eri said curtly, though he relaxed a 
little.  Suga had never been his type; indeed, it was hard for 
him to imagine Suga even finding a girlfriend.  

	"Kinda hard dealing with all the hormones, eh?" Suga 
asked.

	Otoko-Eri started.  "Is it that obvious?"

	"Yeah, if you know what to look for.  Asou would go 
off and get all broody whenever he started having attacks," 
Suga said.  "Anyway, sitting here and brooding usually 
won't help much; you either need to get some privacy and 
relieve yourself, or else come back, be social, and 
eventually exhaustion will kill it, though you may end 
up...well, needing fresh underwear in the morning," he said.

	Otoko-Eri's eyes crossed.  "What, you mean..."

	"Either you do it or your body does it for you at the 
worst time," Suga said.

	"Being a guy SUCKS," Otoko-Eri said.  "How do you 
all stand it?"

	"It has its benefits," he said.  "Like my cute 
girlfriend."

	"I don't want a woman," Otoko-Eri said.  Though 
Kenji did make a cute woman and Yakumo and Mikoto 
and...no, no such thoughts.  Couldn't be tolerated.  

	"Well, you do make a good looking guy," Suga said.

	Otoko-Eri turned and studied him carefully.

	"Just speaking in the abstract," he said hastily.  "Even 
Satsuki thinks you're cute.  She likes broody bishonens, 
though."  Suga leaned against a tree.  "Anyway, it may just 
go away after a while, but probably, I expect, either you'll 
need real relief or faked relief or your body will 
just...relieve."

	"It seems so inefficient," Otoko-Eri mumbled.

	"So is menustration, but for some reason, the body 
thinks it's easier to redo the lining from scratch every 
month.  No wonder women like to redecorate all the time," 
Suga said.

	Otoko-Eri threw a pinecone at his head for that.  "Not 
all of us."

	Suga got hit, but he just rubbed his forehead.  "So still 
thinking in woman mode?" Suga asked.  "I have to admit, 
I'm kind of curious what it feels like."  He sat down by 
Otoko-Eri.  

	"Trying.  But these urges...and thoughts...and the 
niceness of breasts and...it's a fight," Otoko-Eri said, 
turning to Suga.  

	"Well, it says something for Harima that he doesn't 
spend all his time touching his own breasts," Suga said.  
"Some guys would."

	Otoko-Eri thought about touching Onna-Harima's 
breasts and felt his body speed up its nervousness.  So he 
forced himself to think of unsexy Suga.  

	"Then again, who knows what he's doing in the 
dark..." Suga said.  "Possibly fantasizing about you and 
your..."

	"Enough," Otoko-Eri said.  

	"Have you..."

	"No!" he said sharply to Suga, then softened.  
"I...may..."  He made himself stop and grimaced.  "I am 
such a freak right now."

	"You are not a freak," Akira said.  "Suga, you'd 
better..."  Everyone started, not having noticed her 
approach.  

	"He's just trying to help me cope with the demands of 
man-ness," Otoko-Eri said.  "Much more help than Asou, 
who thinks I'd chase his kiddy-looking girlfriend when I 
could have a sexy woman like Kenji."  Really, Sara was 
kind of cute, but Kenji was better looking and more mature 
in appearance.

	There was a silence.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Otoko-Eri said, then 
began punching a nearby tree until Akira pulled him back.  
This made him just more aware of Akira's closeness, her 
strength, and the litheness of her body.  Which made things 
worse.

	"Look, it's perfectly natural for a guy to want a sexy 
woman," Suga said.  "I'd think she was hot if my brain 
didn't remember Harima with that terrible beard."

	"I kind of liked it, when he kept it short," Otoko-Eri 
mumbled.

	"Would you like to get away from Kenji for a night 
and sleep with Nara and I, Eri-chan?" Akira asked.

	"Dang, that's bold," Suga said.

	"I...you want...both of you?" Otoko-Eri squealed.

	For a moment, Akira was very quiet.  Then her eyes 
flickered a little wider, then returned to normal.  "I meant 
that in the literal sense, not the figurative."

	"I have to stay with Kenji to avoid anything crazy 
happening with him and Tenma's sister," Otoko-Eri said.

	"Crazy like the tent being knocked down when you 
'accidentally' kiss Yakumo-san in the morning?" Akira 
asked.

	"It was an accident!"

	"Several times?" Akira asked.  

	"She might 'accidentally' kiss you, Takano-san," Suga 
said.  

	Akira paused, then said, "Not much danger of that.  
Right, Eri-chan?"

	"Well, you are reasonably kissable," Otoko-Eri said.  
"If I was going to start kissing everyone, WHICH I AM 
NOT, you'd get ahead of a lot of people.  But I won't be 
kissing you by accident or otherwise."  And there were 
kissing techniques to be learned...very tempting.

	"So, would you like to join us?" Akira asked.

	"I really need to make sure nothing..." Otoko-Eri 
began.  

	"You know Kenji-san.  You really think he'll do 
anything crazy with Yakumo-san?" Akira asked.

	"I..."  His gut said yes, but really, Yakumo wouldn't 
start anything and Kenji was too confused about his 
identity.  "Okay, sure," he said.  "If it won't bother you."

	"It will be fine," Akira said.  

	"Let's go, then."

***************
	
	Yakumo was surprised to find herself alone with 
Onna-Harima in the tent.  Tenma had been dragged off by 
Karen to keep her company for the night and Sawachika 
was with Akira.  Which made Onna-Harima jumpy.

	She thought about what the Archmagus had told them 
and tried to decide if she was bold enough to even...to even 
ask Kenji about it.  But he seemed to really need some 
help; she could see he was slowly losing the war of his 
identity.  She didn't normally...well, really, part of the 
problem was that she didn't know what to do.  She had the 
vaguest ideas how with a man, but with a woman...But she 
couldn't let Otoko-Eri do it.  No way.

	"Hey, you okay?" Onna-Harima asked as she 
stretched, getting ready to lie down.

	Yakumo nervously cuddled up to her as they got into 
the sheets.  She didn't know what to do, what to say.  "Do 
you want...to...umm...want..."  The perfect chance and she 
couldn't seize it.  As she tried to speak, her voice grew 
more tangled.

	"Ice cream," Onna-Harima said.  "I could go for that.  
In fact, I think I'll go see if our idiot sorceress can bamf us 
up some.  Be right back."

	Yakumo squirreled up her hands in frustration.  Why 
can't I be more bold like my sister?  

	But the world gave no answer.

*************

	Nara laid behind Akira, who was on her side with his 
arms around her, holding her just a bit possessively.  
Having a good looking guy like Otoko-Eri in the tent with 
him made him too aware of his own blandness.  They were 
such old friends, so comfortable together, and it made him 
too nervous to speak, to do anything but hold her, 
desperately.

	Otoko-Eri felt himself growing more nervous as his 
brain decided NOW to start seeing Akira's attractiveness as 
a woman.  Not his normal taste in women...not that he had 
one, of course...but something about her...that hint of 
concealed power, the way Nara grappling her pulled her 
clothing tight against her body...  I am going to wake up 
embarrassed, he thought.  But what could he do?

	Besides leveling a level of boyfriend, just in case he 
needed the kissing techniques, anyway.

	Akira relaxed as the evening went on; it was nice to 
have a good friend and her lover with her.  She brightened 
up as much as anyone normally ever got to see her 
brighten, and she finally fell asleep to sleep a deep and 
relaxing sleep.  

	Otoko-Eri eventually fell asleep, when exhaustion 
overwhelmed him.  He hoped he'd get to use the kissing 
techniques later.  But not on Akira.  Much.

***************
	The ice cream was, despite Yakumo's worries, 
delicious.  It did not, however, reveal to her the secrets of 
how to get into bed with Kenji.  

	Onna-Harima laid down to sleep and Yakumo cuddled 
up to her; she knew how to do that, at least.  She studied 
Onna-Harima's thoughts, looking for some sort of clue he 
was thinking anything sexy, but he was thinking about ice 
cream and...Streetfighter?  She hoped idly to see herself in 
his thoughts in one of Chun Li's outfits.

	But he was just trying to figure out a combo.  

	Yakumo sighed.  "Do you think I'm pretty?" she asked 
nervously.

	"Yes," Onna-Harima said, head full of button pushing 
and joystick moving.  

	That was a good start.  "Prettier than Sawachika?" she 
asked very nervously.

	"You can't really call a guy pretty," Onna-Harima said.  
Super-deformed Streetfighters were punching out falling 
blocks in his mind now.  

	"When he was a girl."

	"You're each pretty in your own way," Onna-Harima 
said.  It was rather frustrating to Yakumo, as nothing he 
sa