This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 18:  A Harima Kenji Christmas  

By John Biles

****************

	Eri shivered a bit in the cold night air, wondering why 
she'd woken up.  Everything was silent; starlight streamed 
in through the window.   The window whose shades were 
SUPPOSED to be drawn.  

	She frowned and tried to listen more intensely.  
Movement...the floor.  She reached over and grabbed her 
day planner off the nightstand; it was the best weapon in 
arm's reach.

	And then...stirring, behind her.  "Eri-chan, what's 
going on?" a man's voice mumbled.

	Who was that, she asked herself.  It sounded 
like...no...

	His hand flopped onto her side and he pulled himself 
up.  Imadori said, "You're not going to hit me in the head 
with that, are you?"

	Eri couldn't understand...how had he gotten naked into 
her bed?  Unless...nooo....

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
she screamed until reality shattered around her.

****************  

	Eri woke up breathing hard, sunlight streaming in her 
window.  The shades...open...but...

	She spun and punched behind her, only to strike an 
empty bed.  

	Sighing, she flopped back down.  I must have just 
dreamed that, she thought.  But why are my shades open?

	A hand crept up, and slowly a fringe of dark hair and 
sunglasses.  Kenji?

	It was Kenji.  He whispered, "I snuck into your house 
to check the microphone, see if it works so we can talk."

	That was Kenji alright, sneaking into her house to fix 
the microphone and not realizing he could JUST TALK TO 
HER.

	She patted the bed nervously on the side of it she 
wasn't using.  He looked at her hand curiously.  "You 
moved it inside the mattress?"

	"No, sit down, talk.  If you got this far, I think it's safe 
for us to talk."

	"Oh," he said, then kicked off his shoes and clambered 
onto the bed.  He sat down beside her, putting an arm 
around her, then whispered, "How have you been doing?"

	"Much more Imadori and I will go INSANE," she 
said.  "He's always being so disgustingly nice and helpful 
and polite and intellectual.  I can't STAND IT," she said.

	"Yeah, what a loser," Harima said.  "You need a real 
man, not a Stepford fiancee."

	"Exactly," Eri said.  "He won't even try to fondle me!  
It's so utterly annoying."

	Harima slid a hand down to touch her butt.  "Like 
this?" he asked.

	"Yeah.  Or my breasts.  You like my breasts, don't 
you, Kenji-kun?" she asked.

	He brought his other hand around to cup her right 
breast.  "Just about perfect," he said.  "Man, you in that 
bikini...HOT."

	She could feel herself getting excited as he touched 
her; she could hardly believe how much she liked it.  Not 
long ago, she would have beaten him to death for this, but 
now...it felt so good.  "You look pretty good like that too," 
she whispered.  "Take your shirt off."

	He took his shirt off, but said, "You sure this is a good 
idea?  If your dad finds us..."

	"It'll be worth it," she said, running her hands up and 
down his chest, which was just like she remembered.  She 
twisted around to face him, kneeling over one of his legs 
and bending down to stroke him.  "How can you even see 
me with those sunglasses on?"

	"Your beauty might blind me if I take them off," he 
said.

	She laughed softly.  "So what's my best feature?" she 
asked, smiling.

	"This smile," he said, touching her lips.  "The real one, 
not the polite one.  I wish I got to see it more often."

	"Try being a good boy, and I'll show it more," she 
said, then leaned down and kissed him, even as he began 
taking off her pajama top.

	They were both topless and he was reaching for her 
bosom again, when she felt a shaking she could not deny.

	And then she woke up.

***********

	The sunlight was streaming in the window, and 
Imadori was shaking her shoulder gently.  "Wake up, Eri-
san," he said.  "You missed breakfast, and it's time to get 
dressed and head to the lodge."

	She smacked the hand touching her.  "Don't touch 
me."

	He smiled that lazy smile and removed it.  "I told 
Nakamura I could get you up."

	She rose out of bed, wishing it didn't bare her legs in 
front of him; she was wearing only a long shirt at the 
moment.

	"Imadori-kun," she asked.  "You didn't touch my 
breasts while I slept, did you?"

	"Of course not; it would be unbefitting my position as 
your fiancee.  It's not yet my right," he said.  

	"How can you just stop being perverted?  How can 
you resist my breasts?" she asked angrily.

	"They're not your best feature," he said softly.

	"Then what is?" she demanded.

	"Your smile," he said.  "The real one, not the polite 
one.  I wish I got to see it more often."

	"I never smile at you!" she shouted, feeling a sudden 
clenching in her gut.  Kenji had said...was this another 
dream?

	"I hope, one day, you will.  Until then, I treasure it in 
my heart."  He headed for the door.  "See you soon, cute 
fiancee."

	"Dammit, I am not your fiancee!"  She threw a pillow 
at him, but the door closing blocked it.

	She waited for the dream to end, but it was all too real.

***********

	Hanai had to admit his grappling was improving; it 
just wasn't improving enough as his morning head-dip in 
the pond had proven to him.  

	But that was behind him now.  Some days of blessedly 
no-morning-attacks were ahead of him and he liked it.  
Instead, he was walking to the train station to meet up with 
everyone.  They would then train over to meet with Miki 
and Masahiro, then train on out to the countryside and head 
up to the lodge.  He hoped that Miki had rented a huge 
enough van for everyone; they had a lot of people.  Or 
would, when everyone showed up.

	He noted with some satisfaction that he and Mikoto 
had arrived first.  

	Unless you counted Mai and Tougo, anyway, who 
were also there.  Hanai said, "Hi, Mai-san, Tougo-san.  
Taking a vacation together?"

	"We're off to the airport to go to Hawaii," Mai said.  
"Father's off to some business conference there with Mom, 
and now that exams are over, I'm joining them and Tougo-
kun's coming with me."

	"Wow, that will be fun.  We're going skiing and going 
to one of Eri's family's parties," Mikoto said.

	"Staying with some college students, right?  Important 
to make those contacts, since they'll be out in the world 
already when you get out of college," Tougo said. 

	Hanai nodded, a little relieved.  "I don't suppose you 
know..."

	"Where Lala is going?  I don't know; she's doing 
something with her father, probably in preparation to kill 
you.  Or Mikoto," Tougo said.

	"Or both," Mai pointed out.

	Mikoto frowned.  "She's a sore loser.  She'll never 
have Hanai's love."

	"But as they say, forbidden love is sweetest," Tougo 
said.  Mai stomped on his foot.  "Not that I will ever know 
of course."

	"Someone wants to be frozen in carbonite tonight," 
Mai muttered.

	Tougo paled.  "It takes forever to get that stuff out of 
my hair."

	Sagano ran up the steps.  "Is there a short female 
monster with ugly short hair destroying the station?"  
Yuuki and Fuyuki were running after her.

	"No," Tougo said.  "Monster?"

	"Cousin.  Mom decided I couldn't sleep, noooo, I had 
to go meet them at the station," Sagano grumbled.

	Fuyuki and Yuuki now caught up to her.  "I thought 
you said no rush," Fuyuki said to Sagano.

	"Well, at least you had your tryst with your lovers 
before you had to meet the dreaded cousin," Tougo said.

	"WHAT?" Fuyuki said.

	Mai laughed softly.

	"Well, I mean, if Yuuki wants to, I'm game," Sagano 
said.  "But Fuyuki's strangely pure for someone who 
scanned half my porn collection last night."

	Fuyuki said, "Don't go around telling people!"

	"And Yuuki was busy with the other half," Sagano 
said.

	"Ahh, 'busy'?" Tougo asked.

	Yuuki turned red.  "No!  I was just...being polite."

	"C'mon, we all like porn here," Sagano said.  "Let's be 
honest.  Which reminds me..."  She handed a wrapped 
bundle to Mai.  "Merry Christmas."

	"I...thank you.  But how did you know I'd be here?" 
Mai asked in surprise.

	Sagano pointed to her ears.  "I hear stuff.  Anyway, 
you should find this cosplay stuff inspirational."

	Mai froze up and stared at the platform.  Fuyuki 
snapped a picture.

	Sagano looked at a clock.  "Hmm, they're late."

	"Who is late?"

	"I'm not late, am I?" Tenma asked.  She was bundled 
in roughly 3000 layers of coats.  

	Karasuma, more lightly dressed, stood by her side.  

	"I don't think it's THAT cold," Mikoto said to Tenma.  

	"Well, I couldn't decide which one to wear.  It is a 
little hot," Tenma said.

	"Where's Kenji-san?" Mikoto asked.

	"He and Yakumo should be here soon.  They were 
making food," Tenma said.

	A pile of lunchboxes and Yakumo now arrived on the 
platform.  "Yo," the lunchboxes said.

	Yakumo began distributing them.  Soon, everyone had 
one, and now you could see Harima carrying the 
remainders.

	"I think you made too many," Tenma said.

	"These are for Hanai-sempai and Suou-sempai's 
friends," Yakumo said.

	Harima passed the stack to Hanai.  "Here, you get to 
carry them."  He stretched his arms.

	"Gladly.  Very thoughtful of you, Yakumo," he said.

	She could see a flicker of his thoughts, but only a 
flicker.  He was trying to fight it, and if she pushed, she 
could see he thought much more of Mikoto now.  And 
Lala.  But that was none of her business.

	Yuuki fidgeted, glancing at Hanai.  "Shouldn't your 
cousin be here yet?"

	"Our train is here," Mai said.  "Bye!"

	She and Tougo headed out to the sound of goodbyes.

	Fuyuki snapped more pictures.  "I'm in no rush."

	"It's coooold," Yuuki mumbled.  "Don't like it."

	Akira and Nara now arrived, more dressed up than 
usual; Nara wore a trenchcoat over a formal suit and tie.  
His hair had been slicked back.  Akira also wore a 
trenchcoat over a long blue dress and had her hair permed, 
curled, and dyed blonde again, along with very expert 
makeup.  Nara had a suitcase in each hand, while Akira had 
a stack of suitcases on a trundle cart with several dresses 
hung on the bar.  There was also a wrapped bundle that 
looked like more lunch boxes.  

	"Woooooo!" Tenma said.  "You two look ready to buy 
out a company!"

	"We do?" Akira asked, sounding pleased.

	"I...does the hair actually work?" Nara asked.  "Mine, 
that is."

	"You look just like a financial predator!" Tenma said.  
"It's so cute!"

	Nara tried to figure out if that was a compliment.

	"You both look great," Hanai said.  "I feel under-
dressed by comparison."

	Akira started to reply to him, then put a hand over her 
mouth and looked a little strained.

	Nara said, "Thank you."  

	"You look beautiful, Akira-chan.  And you look very 
handsome, Nara-san," Mikoto said, smiling.

	Akira stared at the trains.  "You think so?"

	"Thanks!" Nara said.

	Mikoto nodded.  "Why so dressed up now?"

	"We can't take our fashion advisor with us," Akira 
said.

	"Well, we can catch the next train up to the university 
now that everyone is here," Hanai said.  "Good luck, 
Sagano."

	"Thanks," she said.  "With my luck, they went to the 
wrong station."

	"In the wrong city," Fuyuki said.

	"In the wrong country," Yuuki concluded.

	"Oh, they couldn't possibly end up in the wrong 
country on the train," Mikoto said.

	"Well, you never know," Karasuma said, almost 
smiling, as he lead Tenma away.

	Goodbyes were said, and soon Sagano, Yuuki, and 
Fuyuki were alone on the platform.  "If it wasn't my cousin, 
I'd be worrying," Sagano said.

	"I'm sure they are fine," Fuyuki said.  "Probably just 
they got delayed getting out of the house."

****************

	"No, you can't lock me in a room with Sagano for two 
weeks!" Tomo howled, clinging to the door frame of the 
family's apartment.

	"It would seem we have no choice," Tomo's mother 
said.

	Her father nodded.  "No choice at all."

	"No amount of torture will pry me loose!" Tomo said.

	"We must rap," her father said.

	"Until Tomo lets go."

	Tomo began to sweat.  "You're bluffing."

	"Yo VIP let's kick it," her father intoned solemnly.

	Tomo was soon faced with a solid wall of rap from her 
parents while her sisters laid down a beat by pounding on 
the walls.  

O/~ Ice ice baby O/~
O/~ Ice ice baby O/~
O/~ All right stop collaborate and listen O/~
O/~ Ice is back with my brand new invention O/~

	"No...no...make it stop..." Tomo moaned.

O/~ Something grabs a hold of me tightly O/~
O/~ Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly O/~
O/~ Will it ever stop yo I don't know O/~
O/~ Turn off the lights and I'll glow O/~

	That was enough for Tomo, who collapsed, letting go 
and plugging her ears.  "Please, no more, no more parents 
trying to rap."

	They stuffed her in the pre-prepared sack and headed 
out.

****************	

	"Are we getting up?" Yuri asked as she laid tangled 
with Tani and Tae.

	"No," Tani said.  "My grades are in and we don't leave 
for a few days, so right now, we can just be zombies."  He 
moved one arm to place his hand along her ribs and pull her 
a little closer.  

	"So how do you think your parents will take it, 
Tanisa?" Yuri asked him.

	"Well, they always liked you, but I don't know," Tani 
said.  "Mom will probably decide we're possessed and call 
Old Man Hino to try to exorcise us.  Dad will probably hide 
he's jealous and use it as an excuse to complain about me 
moving out of town."

	Yuri shivered a little.  "I think my folks will explode 
atomically."

	"My parents will probably be so happy I'm not moping 
any more that they'll bow down and worship you both," 
Tae said.  "We'll have a happy New Years if we don't die in 
your hometown."

	"There's an 'if' for you," Yuri said.  She sighed.  
"Maybe I should just get a lawyer to sell the business for 
me while I stay here."

	Tani shook his head.  "You owe it to them to argue 
with your parents face to face.  It's part of being someone's 
kid."

	"I guess so," Yuri said ruefully.

	"Don't worry," Tae said.  "We'll have your back."

	She was more worried about her parents attacking 
from in front than behind.


***********

	"Here," Akira said, thrusting a lunchbox into Hanai's 
hands, even though he already had one.

	"I...for me?" he asked in shock.  

	"You forgot to pack yourself one last time," she said 
gruffly, her body rigid.  

	Hanai looked at the box.  His instincts told him that 
she probably had deliberately made bad food to starve him.  
But he wanted to hope maybe she really was trying to be 
nice.  But why now?

	But he had to be polite.  "Thank you, Takano-san."

	Mikoto stared at the box in shock.

	She stood, as if waiting for something to happen.  
Finally, she managed to creak out, "You're welcome."

	Then she quickly sat down and cuddled up to Nara.

	What's up with her, Hanai wondered.  

***************

	Satsuki felt very nervous, riding in a real limousine.  It 
didn't help that their hostess, Eri, was about ready to vibrate 
out of her own skin and very jumpy, though she clearly 
tried to be gracious to everyone but Imadori.

	Given he clearly had been possessed, this wasn't 
surprising.  Though it was a strangely gentle, polite, and 
intellectual sort of possession.

	Imadori turned to Satsuki, "How are you and Suga 
getting along?  Is he treating you well?"

	"He's a very good boyfriend," Satsuki said.

	"Well, all things work out according to destiny.  You 
learned to accept the hand you were dealt and enjoy it now, 
right?" he asked Satsuki.

	"Stop trying to insinuate we have 'destiny'," Eri said.

	"I'm just saying you could learn from Satsuki-san, 
here.  She and Suga are very happy together, even though 
she originally wanted Asou-san," Imadori said.  "Life is a 
lot easier if you adapt to it instead of rigidly trying to bend 
it to your will."

	"You have to flow with the current," Suga said.

	"Destiny can kiss my...posterior," Eri said, trying to 
restrain herself before innocent first-years.  

	"I'm with Eri on this," Asou said.  "We're meant to 
shape the world, not be shaped by it."

	"All things ultimately work to God's will," Sara said.  
"But I don't think Sawachika-san's parents are divine."

	"Exactly," Eri said.

	"Well, as they say, everything has its price," Imadori 
said.

	"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Eri asked 
suspiciously.

	"When you can answer that, you'll understand."  
Imadori leaned back.  "Naptime."

	Satsuki was curious as well, but decided to talk to 
Suga later to figure it out, just in case she got an answer 
that would anger her hostess too much.

***************

	"Haruki-kun, Mikoto-chan!" Miki said, hugging them 
both.  

	"Good to see you," Masahiro said.  

	"Hi!," Jenny said.  "Is my brother really going to be 
coming with us?"  Her boyfriend lurked by her, nodding his 
head to everyone.

	"The crazy man is going to meet us there; he wants to 
bike there," Mikoto said.

	"In the middle of winter???" Jenny asked.  "Damn, 
he's crazier than he was when he was little."

	"Passing up a limo ride for that, that's crazy," Tenma 
said.

	"He probably wants some time alone with his 
girlfriend," Nara said.

	"That makes sense," Masahiro said.  "Well, if we're all 
assembled, then let's go!  Skiing, here we come."

	"Hold on," Yakumo said.  "Hanai-sempai, hand out 
the lunches, won't you?"

	He passed them around.  "Yakumo-san made us all 
lunches."

	Shinichi smiled and bowed.  "Thank you, young lady."

	She bowed back.  "You're welcome."

	"Okay," Masahiro said.  "Let's get going, so we don't 
miss our train!"

***************

	Karen sat behind Harry on his bike, wearing many 
layers of warm clothing, which she needed due to the wind.  
She was half-asleep, having grown used to clinging to him 
as they rode.

	"Hmm, you know if we're gonna be chaperoned 
there?" Harry asked.

	"Aren't Eri's parents going to be there?  I told my folks 
that, anyway."

	"Wanna...hmm...not yet," he said.

	She wondered what he meant.  

	"You gonna be okay with seeing Imadori?" he asked.  
"We'll be in the same house with him."

	"I'll be fine," she said.  "I have to show him that he 
can't take me for granted."  She tried to set her jaw the way 
her father had tried for an hour to teach her the previous 
night.  She wasn't so good at it.

	"Hold a little tighter," he said.

	"Are things about to get rough?" she asked, worried.  
There had been one big scary ice patch, but Harry's slick 
driving had gotten them past it.

	"No," he said.  "I just want to feel your strength."

	She blushed a little.  Her strength scared Imadori, but 
Harry liked it.  He was always urging her to show it; she 
thought he liked it a lot.

	As the wind hammered at her ski-cap, she tightened 
her grip on him, just a little.  "Like this?"

	"Yeah.  I never expected to find such strong warriors 
in Japan," he said, grinning.  "So I was pleased to see 
myself mistaken."

	"I'm not that strong," she said.

	"You're very strong, and I love that about you," he 
said.  

	She blushed.  "Thank you, Harry.  I like your strength 
too."

	This was going to be fun, he thought.  Either he'd 
finally take things to the next level with Karen, or he'd get 
in some good fights.  Or maybe BOTH.  

	Yeah, gonna be good.

***********

	It was lunchtime, and everyone pulled out their boxes 
of Yakumo goodness.  Hanai, however, carefully took out 
the one Akira had given him.  He would try to reciprocate 
the gesture, though he feared he was setting himself up for 
a trap.

	"Afraid Yakumo would try to poison you?" Jenny 
joked.

	"Yakumo-san would never do that," Hanai said.  "I am 
just curious to see what Akira made me."

	It turned out to be rice, mushrooms, broccoli, slices of 
fish and shrimp, all in a brown sauce of indeterminate 
origin.  It was tasty, though it had been overly salted, he 
thought.

	He made a face.  "Tea."

	Mikoto passed him more tea.  "What's wrong?"

	"Too salty," he said.

	Akira slumped in her seat a bit as she ate the lunch 
she'd made for herself.  

	"It shows she loves you, clearly," Shinichi said.  "It's 
too much salt which shows that, right, Kasumi?"

	"Why are you asking me?" Kasumi asked.  
"Superstitions are silly."

	"I don't think there's too much danger of that," Hanai 
said ruefully.

	"It shows people should..." Akira began, then stopped.  
"I did not mean to add too much salt."

	"No problem," Hanai said.  "It's pretty good, thank 
you."

	"You're welcome," Akira said, looking stiff in her 
chair.  

	Mikoto frowned.  Something was wrong; I should talk 
to her later.

***********

	"This room is for Suga and Asou, this one for Satsuki 
and Sara," Eri said, going down the guest wing with her 
friends.  "Karen will have this room to herself until Yuuki 
and Sagano get here.  Imadori and Harry will be in this 
room; Fuyuki will join them when he is here."

	"Shouldn't we pair off by couple?" Satsuki asked.

	"If we wish us all to be slain by my parents on their 
arrival," Eri said.  "Nothing preventing informal trading 
while they're not here, mind you."

	"Don't I get to stay with my cute fiancee?" Imadori 
asked.

	"Only if you agree to be killed, stuffed, and mounted 
on the wall," Eri said irritably.

	"Aww," Imadori said perkily.

	Asou wasn't sure if he was ready to sleep alone with 
Sara anyway, though he felt a little disappointed.  And they 
could always swap informally.  If they wanted to.  Yeah.

***********

	It was only when they arrived at the substantial lodge 
(larger than Mikoto's entire house + family workshop and 
Hanai's house and dojo combined) that Mikoto suddenly 
realized that her friends were, inevitably, going to wonder 
why she and Hanai were going to be in the same bedroom 
with Miki and Masahiro.  People would talk and questions 
be asked.

	She wanted this, but at the same time, people would 
talk...thank goodness Sagano wasn't here.  On the other 
hand, with all the whispers going around from Lala's 
complaining...

	"Worried we'll discover your foursomes with Miki-san 
and Masahiro-san?" Akira whispered into her ear as 
everyone else was oohing and ahhing at the quick guided 
tour.

	Mikoto froze up, then mumbled incoherently.

	"I can't...won't...Follow your heart," Akira said softly.  
"Nara and I will support you, whatever you do."

	Mikoto smiled at Akira, feeling grateful, though she 
was still nervous.

	Masahiro then began assigning rooms to the various 
couples.  He looked a bit nervous himself.  

	"Wait, where are Hanai-san and Mikoto-chan 
staying?" Tenma asked, once the listing finished.

	"With Masahiro-kun and I," Miki said boldly.  "We're 
sharing the master bedroom."

	Tenma's jaw dropped, then she fainted.  Yakumo's 
eyes widened.  Harima grinned.  "Daaamn."

	"Well," Shinichi said.  "You don't do anything by half-
measures, Miki."

	Miki laughed nervously.  "Anyway, I suggest we all 
get everything stowed away and then we can make dinner 
and maybe play some cards and start skiing tomorrow."

	Karasuma picked Tenma up and carried her off 
quietly.

	Couples scattered, and nervously, Hanai and Mikoto 
hauled their stuff into the master bedroom and began to 
stow it, while Miki flitted about unpacking and Masahiro 
followed suit.  

	"I don't know why I didn't think of..." Masahiro finally 
began.

	"Well, I assumed this was our way of moving out of 
the shadows," Miki said.  "Or I'd have been more subtle."  
She came and embraced her boyfriend from behind.  
"Maybe I'm just looking forward to tonight too much."

	Hanai felt his body get excited at the thought.  "I 
certainly am," he admitted, then was embarrassed for 
admitting it.

	"I...well...hell," Mikoto said.  "It's freaky, but we like 
it like this.  I can hardly believe it."  She sat down on the 
bed.

	"Gonna show us some secret techniques, sensei?" 
Miki asked, kneeling on the bed and looming over Mikoto 
from behind.

	"Yes," Hanai said.  He'd done some covert reading, 
and hoped he could do it all right with no practice.

	"Ooooh," Miki said.

	Masahiro smiled nervously.  "I fear that..."

	Tenma burst into the room in a shrine maiden outfit.  
She began to exorcise Mikoto and Miki.  "Out, out, evil 
spirits!  Go home now!"

	Masahiro laughed.

	Mikoto said, "Tenma-chan, I don't tell you to not sleep 
with Karasuma-san."

	"But...but...we haven't slept together yet," Tenma said.

	"But you will once he's ready, won't you?," Mikoto 
asked pointedly.

	Tenma shuffled back and forth on her feet.  "Well, 
um...we...yes."

	"Then let us do things our way," Mikoto said.

	"But it's...THE MONKEY WAY."

	"That's our choice," Mikoto said.  "But if you need to 
work off some energy, you can help me cook."

	"I...Are you sure?," Tenma asked nervously.

	"I'm sure," Mikoto said, rising. "Let's go."

*****************
	
	Tomo looked Fuyuki up and down.  "Hmm, cute 
boyfriend you have, Megumi-kun."

	"You can't have him," Sagano said quickly.

	"And a cute girlfriend," Tomo said.

	"I am NOT HER LOVER!" Yuuki protested.

	"You can have the woman, but I'm going to have to 
borrow your boyfriend," Tomo said breezily.

	They were in Sagano's room at her apartments.  

	"No," Fuyuki said.  "Don't waste your time.  Megumi-
san is all the woman I will ever need."  

	Sagano suddenly looked pretty embarrassed.  
"I...thank you, Fuyuki-kun."

	"It's too late!"  She pounced towards Fuyuki.

	Yuuki tossed one of Sagano's porn doujins across the 
line of movement and Tomo spun in the air to follow it 
when Yuuki shouted, "PORN MIGRATION."

	Tomo began playing with it in a manner like a cat 
playing with yarn.

	No more coffee for this woman, Fuyuki thought.

	"Oh, do you guys know a guy named Imadori?" Tomo 
asked.

	"Yeah," Sagano said. "He's in our class."

	"I have to kill him deader than disco and Yomi's 
romance chances," Tomo said.

	"We should introduce her to Lala, who shares that 
goal," Sagano said.

	"But L..." Fuyuki began.

	Quickly, Yuuki said, "An EXCELLENT idea."

	"Oh yes, brilliant," Fuyuki said uncertainly.

	"Will Lala kill my enemies and drive them before 
me?" Tomo asked.

	"Yes," Sagano said.  Yes, very good, this will send her 
to her death or at least maiming.  Eeeexcellent.

*****************

	Yakumo told herself that she'd...she'd do it with Kenji-
kun during this vacation or die trying.  There would likely 
never come a better chance.  She'd even borrowed some of 
her mother's naughty underwear, though some of it, she 
wasn't sure how to put on.

	Harima sat down on the bed, bouncing a little.  "Hmm, 
good, this will be good."

	"Yes, it will," Yakumo said nervously.  "We'll...sleep 
very well."

	She wants you, Onna-Harima told Harima.

	Wants me to what?, Harima asked.

	Seeeeeex, Onna-Harima told him.  

	I don't think she's ready for that, Harima thought.

	Yakumo came and sat down by Harima, putting an 
arm around him and leaning on him.
	
	Oh really?, Onna-Harima asked.

	OH SHIT, I DIDN'T BUY ANY CHRISTMAS 
PRESENTS, Harima thought.  Dammit, dammit, dammit!

	You are soooo dead, Onna-Harima told him.

	"What's wrong?" Yakumo asked.

	"Nothing," Harima said, rising.  "Don't mind me if I 
vanish a few hours.  I'll be fine."

	"I...what?" Yakumo asked.

	And then he was gone.

*************
	
	"Is that Harima trying to ski down the road?" Karen 
asked.

	"Damn, it is," Harry said.  He pulled up to Harima.  
"What the hell are you doing?"

	"I have to go into town.  I wish I'd brought my bike," 
Harima said, sighing.

	"Well, hell, lemme drop off Karen and I'll take you," 
Harry said.  

	Harima blinked in surprise.  "You will?"

	"That's so sweet of you, Harry," Karen said, leaning 
up and kissing Harry's ear.  

	"No problem," Harry said.  "You just cover my gas."

	"Okay," Harima said.  

	"Alright," Harry said.  "Be back soon."

************

	Tenma shook Karasuma.  "The monkey has jumped 
from Kenji's back to Mikoto-chan!  What can I do?"

	"Nothing," Karasuma said.  

	"But...I mean...four people..." Tenma babbled.

	"Are you righteously angry or jealous they didn't ask 
us?" Karasuma asked.

	"..."

	He kissed her softly.  "Or we could invite Akira and 
Nara to try and make them jealous."

	Tenma turned red.  "I'm not jealous just because 
they're sleeping with college students who are cuter than 
me!"  She punched her head.  "My brain isn't working!  Fix 
it!"

	Instead, he kissed her again, more firmly.  "I like your 
brain."

	She blushed.  "But I'm so stupid."

	"Loving, kind, gentle," he said.

	She smiled shyly, then pulled him a little closer.  "Do 
you want to...tonight?"

	"We should," he said.  "To drown them out."

	Four at once...Tenma grimaced.  "You're right.  
Okay."  She gulped.  "Tonight."

	He smiled at her, and she prayed she could avoid a 
total Tenma meltdown.

****************
	
	Harry looked at the huge pile of stuff Harima had 
bought.  "Damnation, what are you going to do with so 
much shit?"

	"I need it," Harima said.

	"You think you can carry all this while riding on the 
cycle?" Harry asked.

	"I can do anything if I put my mind to it," Harima 
said.

	Harry grinned.  "Well, I shouldn't argue with a can-do 
spirit.  Hop on."

	Harima struggled to hold onto everything.  Good thing 
I don't have to pay for food here, he thought.  As I'm broke 
now.  They'd better appreciate these.

	Holding onto everything required him to rock back 
and forth, kick items back into play with his feet, and 
generally wobble around as Harry raced along.  

	He was glad that he'd already secured Yakumo and Eri 
their presents, as several of the presents almost managed to 
make an escape.  He paused.  He did have them, right?  He 
was going to have to check when he got back.

****************

	Karen frowned slightly as they began dinner at Eri's 
place.  I hope Harry is okay, she thought.  

	The cook came out with her helpers and laid down the 
first course, which was a cream of mushroom soup.  
Everyone got a bowl and began eating; Karen noticed that 
Asou, Suga, and Satsuki all passed their bowl to Sara for a 
blessing.  Seeing this, Eri did likewise; soon, everyone did 
it.  Sara smiled a little at this.

	"Any ghosts I'll need to drive out?" Sara asked.

	"I hope not, except for Imadori's room," Eri said.

	"I like ghosts," Imadori said.  "At least Yoshi-kun 
won't be here, running away from killer kitties."

	Satsuki laughed.  "Fear of cats?"

	"Something like that."

**************

	There was a distant echoing of feet and doors, and 
finally Kenji staggered into the dining room, right as food 
was about to be served.  "Whew," he said.  "Am I late?"

	"No," Tenma said.  "Where were you?"

	"Just taking care of some business," he said.  "Nothing 
unusual at all."

	Jenni looked at him curiously.  "Did you sneak off for 
a tryst or something?"

	"A what?" Harima asked.

	"Nookie," Shinichi said.

	"NO," Harima said.  "Just...stuff."

	Tenma frowned, wondering if the monkey had cloned 
itself instead of jumping backs.

	Dinner turned out to be sukiyaki, which was pleasing 
to Harima, even if a lot of the meat was already gone.  He 
began eating frentically, despite the college students staring 
at him.

	Yakumo nudged him gently, but he didn't notice.  

	"So, we going to gamble after dinner?" Shinichi asked.  
"I could do with more money." He grinned confidently.

	"No one beats me at cards," Harima said.  

	"We shall see," Akira said.

	"I like card games," Yakumo said.

	"Poker it is, then," Mikoto said.  "But not too high of 
stakes, as I don't have a lot of money to burn."

	"One-yen Poker it is," Miki said.  

	Hmm, if I'm lucky, I'll earn back the cost of those 
presents, Harima thought.  That would be good.  He was 
feeling pretty confident.

***************

	Superman was turning back time in the entertainment 
room at Eri's lodge when Harry strode in.  He sat down by 
Karen and whispered, "Mission accomplished."

	She leaned up and over and kissed him, then said 
softly, "That was very sweet of you."

	"Anything for my lady and her friends," he said, trying 
to sound noble.

	She laughed softly, but kissed him again.

	Imadori looked over at them, and tried to lean over to 
kiss Eri, only to find she had somehow vanished from the 
seat next to him, and that a slightly confused looking Asou 
was in her place.  

	He ended up planting a kiss on Asou's cheek.  

	There would have been silence, but the movie played 
on.

	Asou's eyes crossed and Imadori said, "Ack, I'm sorry, 
Asou!"  He jumped back nervously.

	Then he noticed an odd glow on his face.  Looking for 
the source, he saw Sara rise, suffused in holy fire.  
"IMADORI-SEMPAI!!!!!"

	Imadori fled with Sara running after him.  

	"Well, at least it wasn't your first kiss," Suga said to 
Asou.

	"Thank God," he muttered.  

	"Sorry," Eri said.  "I needed a handy shield and didn't 
have time to ask."

	"Next time, just hit him," Asou said, rubbing his 
cheek.

	Eri passed him a handkerchief.  "He didn't drool on 
you, did he?"

	"Thankfully not."

**************

	No cheating, Yakumo reminded herself.  Well, she 
couldn't help reading Tenma and Harima's minds, but so 
long as she didn't push, she could keep out of the others.  

	Harima gleefully bet 200 yen on a pair of threes, and 
she wondered why.  She had a pair of fives, and was hoping 
she'd draw better cards after her draw.  

	Tenma shouted, "Woo hoo!", looking at her hand.  
Yakumo couldn't quite tell what it was, but Tenma was 
daydreaming of a big jackpot in Vegas.

	Keiichi frowned.  "Fold."

	"Fold?" Jenny asked.  "You can't fold when we haven't 
even discarded and gotten new cards yet!"

	"If her hand is that good," he began.

	"She could be bluffing," Jenny said.

	"No," Karasuma said.

	"Tenma-chan's not much of a bluffer," Akira said.

	"It doesn't matter what she has, I HAVE BETTER," 
Harima said.

	"Kenji-kun, I think we need to have a talk about not 
giving away your hand," Akira said.

	Yakumo said, "I'll see it and raise by ten."

	More bets followed.  Yakumo scored another five and 
a pair of tens.  Full House.  She felt a little more confident.

	"Fold," Keiichi declared again.

	Jenny sighed.  "You give up too easy."  She studied 
her cards.  "Raise by 20."

	"Yeah, she's got you there," Shinichi said.  "I'm gonna 
bunt.  See but not raise."

	Kasumi studied her cards, turned them upside down, 
frowned, then said, "Umm...raise by five."  She looked very 
uncertain.

	Miki studied her cards carefully.  "See and raise by 
ten."

	Masahiro studied his pile of coins.  "See and raise by 
twenty."

	"See and raise by 100, BABY," Tenma crowed.

	"Oh yeah?  See.." Harima began.

	"My turn," Karasuma said.

	Harima sulked.

	"Match," Karasuma said.

	"Fold," Mikoto said.  

	"Fold," Hanai said.

	"You shouldn't be so cautious," Harima said.  "Hey, 
wait, I got skipped!"

	"NOW, I see and raise by 200," Harima said, shoving 
almost all his coins out onto the table.  But all he had was 
three threes.

	Nervously, Yakumo said, "I see you and raise by 1."

	The problem, Akira thought, was that Harima was 
possibly fantasizing a good hand.  You really couldn't tell if 
he had a good hand, was bluffing or was accidentally 
bluffing.  "Fold," she said, as she'd decided her pair of sixes 
was probably already outgunned.

	"Fold," Nara said, nervously.  If Akira was out, he 
wouldn't go where she feared to tread.

	Jenny frowned at her hand.  "See and raise by five."

	Shinichi said, "Fold."

	Kasumi sighed.  "Fold."

	Miki licked her lips nervously, then sighed.  "Fold."

	Masahiro studied his cards.  "See, raise by 4."

	"See and raise by 200!" Tenma crowed.  Masahiro 
winced.  

	"Fold," Karasuma said curtly.  

	Tenma blinked.  "You okay?"
	
	"Fine," he said.

	Harima said, "Dammit, I want to raise, but I have 
nothing to raise with."

	"Throw an IOU in the pot; you can pay it back later," 
Masahiro said.

	Harima quickly did so.  "Raise by 300!"

	Yakumo scratched her head.  "Match."  She shoved 
out 300 more yen.

	Jenny frowned at her cards, then studied Yakumo and 
Harima through slit eyelids.  "Double dammit.  Raise by 
10."

	"Matched and...raised by 300!" Tenma said, tossing n 
more coins and cackling.  

	"Dammit, folding," Jenny said.  

	"Matched, and raised by 500!"  Harima threw another 
IOU in the pot.  

	"Either he has a really great hand or he's crazy," 
Keiichi said.

	"Yes," Karasuma said.

	"Match," Yakumo said, matching.

	Tenma studied her cards.  "Match."

	"And I can't raise again, since neither of you did, 
right?" Harima asked.

	"Yes," Tenma said.

	"I guess we show our cards."  Harima laid down three 
threes.

	Tenma laid down a 6, a 7, an 8, a 9, and a King.  
"Short Straight," she said, reaching for the coins.

	"Nee-chan, that's only in Yahtzee.  It's not a poker 
hand."

	Tenma froze up.  "It...no?"

	Yakumo laid down her full house and raked in the 
winnings.  

	"DAMMIT!" Jenny said.  "I could have beaten that, 
but...dammit."

	"Now I'm busted," Harima said.

	"I'll loan you some cash, boyfriend," Yakumo said, 
having him write her another IOU.

	"Okay," Harima said.  "Let's RUMBLE."  


*************
		
	Tomo strolled into Sagano's room.  "Well, victory and 
a problem," she said.

	Sagano was busy necking with her boyfriend, though 
in theory, she and Fuyuki and Yuuki were playing spades.  
"She didn't kill you?"

	"Well, after she killed me enough, she listened to 
reason," Tomo said.  "Unfortunately, Imadori's run off to 
the countryside to the ski lodge of some woman named 
'Sawachika Eri', who is apparently his rich-bitch fiancee.  
So we don't know where to find her," Tomo said.  "Not 
knowing where the lodge is.  Do you know?"

	"I hear it's at the bottom of a live volcano in Hawaii," 
Yuuki said.

	"I'm not THAT much of a flunkout," Tomo said to 
Yuuki.  "When you lie to me, make it plausible, okay?"

	Tomo turned to Sagano, "Shouldn't you be making out 
with your girlfriend too?"

	"She's not my girlfriend," Sagano said.  "Unless 
Fuyuki's changed his mind in the last few hours."

	I am going to kill myself by the end of this vacation, 
Fuyuki thought.  "Well, good luck finding out..." he began.

	Sagano's mother stuck her head in.  "Your band is 
doing the music for Sawachika Eri's big Christmas Eve 
party, right?  Will you be back on Christmas day?"

	"Party?  There's a party?" Sagano lied, making frantic 
'no more in front of Tomo' gestures at her mother.

	"Also, you should take Tomo with you; she'll get 
lonely, otherwise."

	"You know Sawachika?" Tomo asked.  "Good, Lala 
and I can come with you to wreak bloody vengeance."

	No, my precious trip AWAY FROM TOMO, Sagano 
thought.  "I think Eri's sworn an oath to kill everyone from 
Tomo's school, Mom."

	"Honey, if you're going to lie to me, don't insult my 
intelligence with obvious lies," Sagano's mother said.  
"Tomo will be going with you, now."

	Dammit, I lose again, Sagano said.  I have to crush 
this woman, dammit!

*************

	"The old maid again?" Karen said, frowning.  "I keep 
losing this game."

	"It's probably not...," Asou began.

	Imadori ran through the room with flaming Sara 
chasing him.

	"...prophetic," Asou finished.

	"How about poker?" Eri asked.

	"How about...strip poker?" Suga joked.

	"It really wouldn't be fair to Asou since his girlfriend 
is busy killing Imadori-sempai," Satsuki said.

	"True," Suga said.  "They ever going to stop?"

	"Well, they both have to eat EVENTUALLY," Suga 
said.  "Right?"

	"I think pure perversion can power Imadori forever," 
Eri said.  "How about a boardgame?  We have some good 
ones here that the previous owners abandoned."

	"How about Life?" Harry asked.  "I have a knack for 
getting a race-car driver job."  He grinned idly.

	"That sounds fun," Karen said.  

	They busted out the board, which looked somewhat 
different than they remembered.  The usual scramble for 
cars ensued, followed by sticking little pins in it to 
represent themselves.  

	Eri spun the wheel.  "Six."  She moved her car.  "Teen 
pregnancy.  Reduce your future income by 30,000 dollars 
and add a baby of either gender to your car."  She 
grimaced.  "I'll take a cute baby girl."

	Harry spun the wheel.  "Four."  He frowned.  "Car 
needs a new accelerator."  He landed his car and read the 
square.  "You ran the streets in your youth.  Add six to your 
career spin at graduation.  You may only go to college on 
an 11 or 12."

	"Harima's in trouble, then," Harry mumbled.  

	Eri grimaced.

	Satsuki spun the wheel.  "Two."  She moved two.  
"Teen sports prodigy!  Take 30,000 in cash, and move 
straight to college., adding 3 to your final career spin."  She 
grinned.  "Sweet!"

	Once she finished, Suga was up.  "Gimme an eight!"  
He spun.  "Eight!  Yeah!"  He moved his car and read.  
"Pimping Teen.  Add two members of the opposite sex to 
your vehicle.  They both count as your 'spouse'."  He 
pumped a fist in the air.

	I sure don't remember my last game of Life being like 
this one, Eri thought.

	"DEEEEAAATH!" Sara shouted as she chased 
Imadori through the room.

	Or that.

*******************

	Akira did the math in her head.  "Kenji, perhaps you 
should stop while you only have 600,000 yen worth of 
debt."

	"MY LUCK WILL TURN," he insisted.

	"Hah!  I only have 350,000!" Tenma crowed.  

	"How about if we switch to smaller groups and play 
spades before they go bankrupt?" Kasumi suggested.

	"But...I'll never win my money back!" Harima wailed.

	"I suggest that it's now late enough at night for strip 
poker," Shinichi said.  "And I'm drunk enough."

	Not everyone had been drinking, and Yakumo had 
carefully watered down Harima and Tenma's sake to the 
point where it was more water than wine, but a fair number 
of them were mildly intoxicated, not that Akira showed it.

	"I could draw sketches, throw those in, right?  Or I 
have some stuff in my room as collateral," Harima said.  He 
hated to gamble away the Christmas presents, but SURELY 
his luck would turn soon.  Right?  Then he could win them 
back.

	"Strip poker?" Mikoto asked, embarrassed.

	Yakumo's eyes widened.

	Harima blinked.  "Is that where everyone bets with 
comic strips?"

	He and Shinichi stared blankly at each other.

	"Oh my," Kasumi said.  "I don't think I'm drunk 
enough for that yet."

	Masahiro said, "We probably shouldn't play strip 
poker in the middle of winter."

	"So...this is about flaunting our bodies?" Akira asked.

	Tenma stared at her.  "Say no to the monkey, Akira-
chan!"

	"Actually, it's about forcing everyone else to flaunt 
their bodies while you stay clothed," Shinichi said.

	"I dunno..." Keiichi said.

	"It'll be fun, honey," Jenny said.  "Or we could just let 
those who go broke start betting clothing."

	"Yeah, that works," Shinichi said.  "Or who want to."

	Tenma turned red.

	"I'm game," Harima said.  "I am NOT ASHAMED OF 
MY HOT BODY!"  

	"Yeah!  No shame!" Miki said, getting into the spirit 
of things.

	"Honey..." Masahiro said warningly.

	"I'll put more logs on the fire," Miki said. 

	Akira looked over at Tenma.  "Tenma-chan, I'll loan 
you some money, no interest, if you don't want to bet with 
clothing."

	Tenma looked around at everyone.  "I..."

	"Really, her figure isn't worth seeing naked, anyway," 
Keiichi mumbled into his glass as he took another swig.

	Tenma's eyes flared with the light of ten thousand 
suns.  "Oh really.  I will show you.  Oh yes, I will!"

	Miki carefully threw more logs on the fire, basking in 
the warmth.

	Idly, Akira wondered if this would all end in fire.  Or a 
naked Hanai.  Not that she wanted to think about such 
things, not when her boyfriend had been far more 
understanding than she could be.  So she certainly wouldn't 
think about such things at all and the strip poker was NOT 
her idea, as anyone could tell.

	So, no guilt.  She wouldn't end up in a position to have 
to strip, anyway.  

	Akira was the sort who usually knew when to quit 
while ahead, after all.

***************

	"Your children become crack dealers," Harry read off 
the square.  "Add 20,000 to your income each time it's 
payday."

	Eri checked the box.  'Grand Theft Life'.  Rated M for 
Mindless.  "Well."

	"Hah!  My kids are brainwashed professional 
assassins, so I get an extra 60,000 for each at payday!" 
Suga bragged.

	"My martial artist kids can beat up both of you's kids," 
Satsuki said.  "And I get to spin the wheel and multiply by 
10,000 for their yearly tournament prizes!"

	"I think we should try Pictionary next," Eri said.

	Karen took her turn.  "Oh dear, I have to have a 
gangland hit on another player."

	"You'd better take out Suga's kids before he takes out 
you," Harry advised.

	Karen nodded and spun.  "On even, one random 
person in the target player's car dies.  On odd, one of your 
people dies."  She spun.  "Eight."

	Suga drew randomly, "Dammit, I just lost Bugsy!"  A 
little boy spike went into the box of spikes that stood in for 
people.  
	
	He spun the wheel.  "Carjack a player of your choice; 
they must go back to the last payday and spend 50,000 on a 
new car."  He grinned at Karen.  "What goes around, comes 
around."

	"My corvette!" Karen said.

	Imadori ran through the room again, but Asou finally 
rose and grabbed Sara.  "Enough," he said.

	"He kissed you!" Sara said.  "He must..."

	"Let it go," Asou said softly.  "We're almost done 
here, and I'll like to play a game with you."

	"It's called 'Good Priestess, Bad Boy'," Suga said, 
mimicking his voice.

	Throttling naturally ensued.

	Sara, however, laughed, though she looked 
embarrassed.  "I guess I'll let him live, then.  I like to play 
with you."

	Suga laughed through his throttling, as did Satsuki.  
Karen tittered, while Harry grinned.  

	"You like to make him 'do penance', Sister?" he asked.

	Sara blushed.

	Imadori crept back in cautiously.  "How about 
Pictionary?" he said.  "I'm good at that."

	"We should play...dammit, let's play Pictionary," Eri 
said.  

	"Hey, we need to finish carjacking each other and 
rubbing out each other's kids," Harry said.

	"Okay, let's finish the bloodbath, and THEN we play 
Pictionary," Eri said.  She moved to position herself 
between Karen and Satsuki, to hopefully avoid giving 
Imadori any chance to sit by her.

	Instead, he just pulled up a chair and perched in it, 
half-asleep, watching the game.  Which she somehow 
found even worse.  

*****************
	
	"Dammit!"  Harima was down to his underwear and 
socks.  Yakumo had most of Harima's clothing piled with 
her coins; Akira and Masahiro had the rest (not that he 
wanted it.)

	"HAH!" Tenma shouted as she won her first hand, 
scoring Harima's pants and her own skirt back.  She was 
wearing a towel like a cape; Miki had gotten it for her to 
help her keep warm after she insisted on continuing to play.

	Masahiro said, "This is probably enough poker.  It's 
getting late."  Before any train wrecks.

	"It's not that..." Shinichi began, until Masahiro 
elbowed him.  "Oh yes, of course."

	"I can't stop!  I have to win my clothing back!" 
Harima said.  

	"I can give you my winnings of your clothing," a 
blushing Yakumo said to Harima.  

	"We need more sexy half or more naked men!" 
Kasumi said, waving her glass, of which she'd had too 
many.  "We must play on until all the men are bare!"

	"I can't lose like this!" Tenma protested.  Even if 
Karasuma had somehow won every hand she'd lost clothing 
in, so that he had all her clothes.  

	Except for one lone sock, which Keiichi had carefully 
put a bowl over for some reason.

	"It's bedtime," Mikoto said.  She nodded to Hanai, and 
he began to hustle Tenma off towards her bedroom with 
Karasuma's assistance.  He casually snagged Harima's 
pants and tossed them onto Harima's head.

	Harima said, "Dammit, I still haven't won my money 
and clothing back and..."  He blinked.  "What...roof pants.  
Unexpected."  He stared at the ceiling.  "They're just like 
mine."

	Mikoto began to gently herd him towards his bedroom 
with Yakumo, snagging his clothing back on the way.  
"You need sleep, clearly."  

	"Sleep will not make me less naked or less in debt!" 
Harima protested.  

	"Don't worry, Kenji.  I'll help you find ways to pay off 
your 800,000 yen debt," Akira said.  "Friends get low 
interest rates!"

	Nara looked assessingly at Akira.  "I think you're 
ready for bed too."

	"I am not think in my drunk enough," Akira said 
solemnly.

	Nara's eyes widened.  "Definitely."  He began to drag 
her off, which was slowed down by her raking up her 
winnings.  

	"Are you going to turn into a girl and seduce me with 
your wanton ways?" Akira asked Nara as he began to drag 
her off.

	Keiichi laughed very loudly, took another drink, and 
fell out of his chair.

	"Only if you ask nicely, dear," Nara said, deadpan.

	Shinichi began to cackle as well.  Hanai laughed a 
little.

	Soon, they were gone.  

	Shinichi turned to Miki and Masahiro, who were 
starting to clean up.  "You guys really going to go to bed 
this early?"

	"It's been a long day," Masahiro said.

	Keiichi yawned.  "Not a bad idea, really.  It's too cold 
to do much now, and we're gonna ski, right?"

	"Right."

	Keiichi, Shinichi, and Kasumi all staggered off to bed.  
Jenny stayed and helped Masahiro and Miki clean up.

	"I..." she said to Masahiro.  "Dammit, can't think of 
how to ask without maybe pissing you off for no reason."

	"You can ask us tomorrow," Masahiro said.  "Thanks 
for helping us."

	"No problem.  I'd have made Keiichi stay, but I think 
he had too much to be much help," Jenny said.  "Just...be 
careful, okay?"

	"Okay," Masahiro said softly.  

	Jenny headed off.

	Too late for caution now, Masahiro said.  Really 
shouldn't have invited everyone if we're going to...do this.  
But after all we've been through, we deserve it.

*************

	Mikoto pulled Yakumo aside.  "Yakumo-san, have 
you..."  She tried to figure out how to ask.  "It would be 
wisest if Kenji took a nice long hot bath to warm up before 
bed.  I don't know if you guys...anyway, make sure he takes 
one."

	"I'd better get a chance to win my money back!" 
Harima protested; it was unclear WHO he was protesting 
to.

	Yakumo blushed.  "I...I'll make sure it happens."

	"Good," Mikoto said.  "If you think you'll need help 
manhandling him to the bathroom, I can help."

	"No, we'll be fine," Yakumo said softly.

	"Okay," Mikoto said.  "I'll see you probably in the 
morning."

	"Okay, sempai."

	Mikoto headed out.  Harima was still grumbling to 
himself.

	Yakumo touched Harima's arm; he felt cold and she 
frowned.  "Kenji-kun, you need to take a bath."

	"But I owe all this money and I'm going to have to be 
everyone's slave and..." Harima was growing frantic.

	She took his chin, pulled it down, and kissed him 
softly.

	He suddenly refocused on that in a way she found very 
pleasing.  His swirling thoughts now focused on her.  

	"I...did you want me to do something?" he asked when 
she broke the kiss.

	"I have to make sure you take a nice hot bath."

	"Oh, okay," he said.  "Wait...a bath?"

	"Yes," she said.

	Hesitating, she continued, "I can bathe you if you 
want."

	"I can bathe myself," he said.  "I'm not THAT tired, 
though I am kind of cold."

	She ran a hand up and down his slightly cold arm.  "I'd 
like to help," she said softly.

	"You don't have to," he said.  She could feel his 
emotions; he was as nervous as her, which made her less 
nervous.

	"I want to," she said softly.

	He stared at her intently, then said, "Well, I am feeling 
kind of cold.  I just..."

	Look, Eri's seen you naked.  You really do need to 
balance the scales, Onna-Harima said.

	He hadn't thought about it that way.  "Have you ever 
seen me naked?" he asked.

	"I don't hardly peep at all!" Yakumo squeaked out.

	"..."

	"I mean, no, not really," Yakumo said nervously.

	"Well, I'll just keep on what I already have on and it'll 
be the same as going to the beach," he mumbled, then rose.  
"Can you get the water started while I find some fresh 
clothing for after?"

	She nodded.  "Okay," kissed his cheek, and skipped 
out excitedly.

*************

	Asou drew a stylized 't' and several wavy lines.

	"Crosscurrent!" Sara said.

	"Hmm, not bad," Imadori said.  

	Asou drew another picture; he started with a stick 
figure.

	"Human!" Satsuki shouted.

	He kept drawing, starting to add a wing.  

	"Butterfly!" Eri guessed.

	"Draconian!" Imadori shouted.

	"Angel!" Sara shouted.

	Asou and Sara both smiled.  This was Sara's eighth 
correct guess in a row; Eri was wondering if they were 
communicating somehow.

	Asou drew another card, then sketched a circle. As he 
started to add poles to it, Harry shouted, "Motorcycle!"

	"Wow, how did you get that?" Asou asked.

	"I always guess motorcycle if I see a circle," Harry 
said.

	Unseen by the gamers, a cat stuck its head into the 
parlor.  Also unseen, Nakamura grabbed it and hauled it off 
before it could disturb them any further.

	Harry stepped up and drew a card.  He drew several 
half-circles, connected together, frowning at it.

	"Crescent moon!"

	"Crescent buns!"

	"PIMPLE," Imadori said.

	Harry paused, studied his art, and redid it with less 
huge curves.

	"Breasts?" Eri guessed.

	Harry shook his head, then began drawing a sort of 
odd stick figure with tail coming out of the curves.  
Everyone stared.

	"Ice cream burrowing catgirl?" Imadori guessed.

	"..."

	Harry scratched his head, then drew tiny versions of 
the curves on the figure where its legs met the torso.

	"BUTT!" Imadori said.  "Butt...BUTTMONKEY!"

	Karen said, "..."

	Harry sighed.  "Okay, your turn, Imadori."

	Eri sighed.  I wonder what Harima is doing, she 
thought.  The game was fun...but it would be funner if he 
was here.  Or at least the art would improve.

**************
	
	Harima and Yakumo sat in wet underwear in the nice 
hot water, both of them fast asleep with an arm around each 
other.  

**************

	"Yuuki, I need you to headlock Tomo so I can kiss 
Fuyuki goodnight uninterrupted," Sagano whispered to her.

	"I'm not feeling like pain," Yuuki said.

	"PLEASE," Sagano whispered.

	"Bored...bored...bored..." Tomo was mumbling.

	"You should go take a bath before bed," Yuuki said to 
Tomo.

	"You three looking for time to have a quick snog 
before Auntie Emiko throws you out?" Tomo said.  "I'm 
cool with that.  BATHROOM, HO!"  She raced off.

	"We don't all snog together!" Yuuki shouted after her.  

	"Sorry," Sagano said.  "Though you're welcome to 
snog with us if you want, Yuuki."

	"Megumi-kun..." Fuyuki said warningly.

	"Or not.  Not until I get Fuyuki properly adjusted to 
the idea, anyway," Sagano said.

	"I'll walk you home if you want, Yuuki," Fuyuki said, 
after getting a quick kiss with Sagano.  "And Megumi-kun, 
if you don't control your whims, you'll end up like Tomo."

	"I'd die first!" Sagano protested.  

	He kissed her again.  "Try not to kiss Tomo before I 
see you again."

	"NO DANGER OF THAT."

**************

	"Mmm, nice and warm," Mikoto said as she stepped 
into the master bedroom.  It had a huge king-sized bed with 
many layers of sheets on it, two dresser-drawers, a 
wardrobe, a small table with several chairs, and its own 
roaring fireplace with an attached bathroom.

	Masahiro nodded.  He was busy digging around in a 
suitcase while Miki lay on the bed doing leg stretching 
exercises.  "Where's my ski cap?"

	"You don't need it right now, do you?" Miki asked.  
"It's so nice and toasty in here."

	"If I don't find it now, I'll regret it in the morning," he 
said.

	Nervously, Mikoto came over and sat down on the 
bed.  She wanted to speak, but wasn't sure what to say.  
"Let's pray Haruki's dad won't burst through the wall."

	"We'll kick his butt," Miki said.  "I don't know if I'm 
gonna pass anything this semester, but I can kick more butt 
now."

	Mikoto winced.  "That bad?"

	"Miki exaggerates," Masahiro said as he dug around in 
his suitcase.  "Ahah!"  He tossed his cap atop the dresser 
drawers.  "I'm never going anywhere with Haruki's dad if I 
can help it, though."

	Masahiro now came over and sat down by Miki and 
began doing some stretching exercises also.

	Mikoto decided to imitate them.  "Good idea," she 
said.

	"Warm up before exercise," Miki said, imitating Mr. 
Hanai's voice.  Badly.

	Mikoto laughed softly.  

	Hanai staggered in with a boot on his head.  "What are 
you all doing?"

	"Warming up," Mikoto said.

	"Hmm, logical."  He began doing some warming up 
exercises as well as he shed his jacket and boots and extra 
head-boot.  "That was like pulling teeth, but hopefully, we 
will not be invaded by Tsukamoto tonight."

	"Do she and her boyfriend..." Miki began.

	"I don't think they have before, but I think they're 
going to try tonight," Hanai said.  "Assuming Tenma 
doesn't frazzle to death, which is quite possible."

	Miki stood and began doing some upper body 
exercises now.  "She's the younger one, right?"

	"Elder," Mikoto said.

	"But she looks...younger than Yakumo," Miki said.

	Masahiro said, "Happens in some families."  He rose 
and began stretching his arms.

	There was a distant sound of music, a lone guitar.  
Hanai said, "Hmm, must be Karasuma."

	Finally, everyone finished stretching, and the two 
couples lurked on the edge of the bed nervously, feeling 
self-conscious.  "I have to wonder what exactly they think 
we're doing," Masahiro said.

	"We just have to make it sound as perverted as 
possible," Miki said.

	"..."  Masahiro and Haruki both stared at her.

	Mikoto laughed.  "Tenma will imagine something 
3,000 times worse than what we're actually doing.  Which 
really isn't all that odd."

	Miki nodded.  "And we've now all seen each other 
naked, anyway, so it's okay."

	Masahiro gripped the bottom of Miki's shirt and began 
to pull it off.  "Then we should start before anyone decides 
to interrupt us."

	"Very important," Hanai said as he pulled off Mikoto's 
shirt, slowly running his hands up her torso and kissing her 
as he did so.  

	Soon, they were all too busy to worry about being 
interrupted.

**************
	
	Tenma felt incredibly nervous as she sat on the edge 
of the bed on Karasuma's lap, kissing him.  His arms were 
around her, but she felt hideously insecure.  Her body was 
so child-like...how could it make someone as handsome as 
Karasuma...get interested?  Or whatever the right term was.  

	Karasuma said softly, "What's wrong?"

	"I feel...I wish I was prettier," Tenma said.  "You're so 
handsome and..."  She stared at the ground.

	He ran a hand up and down her back.  "Well, if you 
like, we can change that for tonight."

	Tenma shivered a little.  "What?" she asked.  "You 
mean..."

	"Let us dream together," he said softly.  "You can be 
anything in your dreams."

	"I don't want to just dream," she said.  "I want to 
really, but I..."

	"Dreams are real, but separate," Karasuma said.  "Not 
unreal.  Differently real.  Close your eyes."

	She did so nervously.  "I want to...I mean, we're not 
going to sleep, are we?"

	"When you sleep here, you wake elsewhere," 
Karasuma said.  "Further up and further in."

	And then there was a strange sensation of yanking.

	She opened her eyes and now they sat in the master 
bedroom, which was rather devoid of Miki, Masahiro, 
Mikoto, and Haruki.  It had just them, though distantly, 
they could hear noises from the other rooms.  

	Karasuma rose, taking Tenma over to the long mirror 
on the wall.  She looked more like her mother, tall and 
slender, her breasts somewhat bigger, but not what you 
could call lush.  But there was a maturity in her face and 
her figure, and while not voluptous, she could not be 
mistaken for a boy or a child, either.  Her eyes lit up.  "I 
look so beautiful," she said softly.

	"You are beautiful to me in every form and identity," 
Karasuma said warmly.  

	Tenma gulped.  "I don't understand.  Is this real?"

	"All is but a dream, and we the dreamers who dwell 
within," Karasuma said.  "This is a dream of you, among 
many.  What you think of as waking is yet another dream, 
one shared by many dreamers."

	Tenma tried to think through that.  "Like other 
universes?"

	"They too are dreams."  He kissed her throat gently, 
and then her cheek, then turned her head to kiss her lips.  "I 
love you," he said softly.

	"I love you too," Tenma replied, then looked at 
herself.  "Any way we could..."

	"You will grow into this in time, as your mother did.  
Already, it has begun, though like all growth, it's slow," 
Karasuma said.

	"But I thought I had my last growth spurt years ago.  
And it...wasn't too impressive," Tenma said.

	"You are not a normal person," Karasuma said.  He 
began to play with the top button of her blouse.  "Is this a 
good dream, or shall I find you another?"

	"Do I...am I still a virgin if we do it this way?"

	"From the perspective of our normal dream, yes," 
Karasuma said.

	Tenma thought about it.  "Alright," she said softly, 
sliding her hands down his side.  "I hardly know what to 
do," she whispered.

	"Me either," he confessed.  "This me is as much a 
virgin as you are," Karasuma said.

	She began to slowly, fumblingly take his shirt off.  At 
first, it didn't want to come off, and then suddenly, it 
yanked off and she ended up falling back onto the bed with 
her face and arms tangled in it.

	Some things never change, she thought.  Especially 
when he started taking her blouse off without bothering to 
unentangle her, with the result that they ended up with their 
arms and shirts all jumbled together.  

	No, I can't let this happen to my precious first time, 
she thought.  Desperately, she wrenched her arms free and 
then pulled his loose and rolled them over to kneel over 
him, kissing him and fumbling for his pants.  Rent clothing 
flew everywhere.

	They began to tumble about as they undressed each 
other; Tenma was briefly afraid they'd go rolling into the 
fireplace, but it didn't happen.  

	Indeed, things were soon going as well as she could 
have ever dreamed of.  

*************

	"I say we play strip poker next," Imadori said.

	Eri yawned.  "I'm going to bed."

	"Oh, well..." Imadori begain.

	"Without you," Eri said firmly.

	"We should go to bed too," Karen said.

	"Given we'll ski tomorrow, we should get lots of 
sleep," Sara said.

	"That's true," Asou said.  "Let's go, then."

************

	"So...swap or not?" Suga asked the other three once 
they reached their two rooms.

	"Swap," Satsuki said.  

	Sara licked her lips nervously, but said, "Okay."

	Asou nodded; he was willing to give them some 
privacy.  "See you two in the morning, then," he said, and 
went with Sara off to the 'men's room', while Suga and 
Satsuki went to the 'ladies' room'.

	Satsuki was feeling very nervous.  But FINALLY, 
they were away from her father and she could try properly 
making out with her boyfriend, maybe even go all the way.  
She wasn't sure, though she was sure she would by the time 
they left.  

	She took off her shirt as Suga got his boots off; she'd 
already kicked off her shoes.  She licked her lips nervously 
as Suga sat down on the bed, then knealt behind him and 
began to massage his shoulders.  He made happy little 
noises.  "We gonna...?" he asked.

	"Yeah," she said softly.  "We can't ever corrupt them 
if we don't corrupt ourselves first."

	"Well, there's little danger of your father bursting 
through the wall here," Suga said.

	"Yeah," Satsuki said, though now her nerves began to 
jangle.  

	Then there was a noise in the hallway, almost as if 
someone had crept up to the door.

	Suga froze, paralyzed with terror, knowing a beating 
was coming.

	Satsuki paused, hands on his shoulders, staring at the 
hallway door.

	The footsteps had stopped just outside the door, but no 
one was knocking.  

	Distantly, they heard someone female moan.  There 
were faint noises of movement in the hallway, and then a 
gentle thud.

	And silence. 

	The silence of a father, waiting, lurking, watching...

	The silence, the ever present silence, waiting for an 
excuse, waiting...

	They stayed frozen on the edge of the bed, waiting for 
something, something to happen, something to break the 
silence, some clue that whatever it was had moved on, that 
they would not be rudely interrupted.  

	But there was no noise, not even a door, not even a 
tiny scraping of a boot on wood.

	And so they waited...

***************

	"Okay, don't watch," Sara said.  She began undressing, 
looking at herself in the full-length mirror on the wall as 
she began changing into her pajamas.  

	She was about half-changed when she realized she 
could see Asou undressing in the mirror if she moved 
slightly.  She couldn't stop herself from watching, while he 
blithely stripped down to his underwear and changed into 
pajamas.

	"Do you think...those two..." Sara said, trying to tell 
herself to stop, but not able to.

	"I'm thinking we should wait up maybe twenty 
minutes or so, just in case they manage to set the lodge on 
fire, or angry monkeys invade their room.  Or Satsuki's 
father invades," Asou said.

	Sara made herself finish dressing in her blue pajamas; 
Asou's were white with little black geometric shapes 
sprinkled across them.  Asou's mostly naked body hung in 
her mind's eye, though, making her shiver a little.  "I think 
you're right."

	Asou turned off all the lights but a lamp next to the 
bed and climbed under the covers.

	Sara nervously climbed in alongside him, then cuddled 
up to him.

	They were starting to kiss when they heard movement 
in the hallway.  Oddly, it stopped right outside their door, 
but no one knocked or came in.  They didn't hear Satsuki 
and Suga's door open either.

	Asou frowned.  "They must be trying some prank.  
Probably planning to burst in and embarrass us."

	He got up and carefully locked the door, then came 
back to bed.  Asou then cuddled up to Sara again.

	After a few minutes of this, Sara kept feeling the urge 
to take Asou's top off; she wondered if he felt as tempted as 
she did.

	The answer came when he started to nuzzle her neck, 
undoing her top two buttons on her top.  She knew they 
should stop, but she didn't want to.  Instead, she undid 
several more buttons.  

	She was breathing hard as Asou began to kiss down 
her chest.  He'd reached the middle of her cleavage when, 
at the window, there was a bizarre noise, almost as if a dog 
had somehow walked across the window in defiance of 
gravity.

	They both froze up, staring at the window, but it was 
too late.

	Asou ran to the window as Sara hastilly buttoned her 
pajamas.  Much as he regretted it, he had to open the 
window and stick his head out.

	There was something, a monkey-like creature in red 
clothing, nice warm clothing, scampering along the wall 
towards the window to Eri's room.  

	"Dammit," Asou said, then grabbed the coat rack and 
scrambled out the window.  "I'll be right back."

	"You'll freeze!" Sara said.

	As the red coated thing reached Eri's window, Asou 
jumped ledge to ledge, then brought down the coat rack on 
it.  It yelped and fell off the window ledge of Eri's room 
and plummeted into the snow below.

	Then Eri opened the window and shouted, 
"PERVERTS!" and proceeded to slice through the ledge 
area with a wooden sword right as Asou stepped over to 
look down at the creature.

	Asou plummeted off the ledge and landed on top of 
the creature, which turned out to be Imadori in a red coat.  
He felt like he was freezing to death.

	Sara shouted to Eri, "YOU JUST WHACKED MY 
BOYFRIEND!"

	"He shouldn't have been peeping!" Eri shouted.

	"He tried to STOP the peeper!" Sara shouted.

	"Dammit," Eri said.  

	Asou began whipping Imadori's ass to stay warm.  

	Sara threw on a coat and opened the door of her room; 
there was a big fat cat curled up by the door; she almost 
tripped over it, but for now, she just got past it.

	Then she ran downstairs and out into the snow, 
opening a door and helping Asou get inside, while Imadori 
ran for another door.

	When they got upstairs, she said to Asou, "Maybe we 
should go bathe you in hot water."

	"I could use it," he mumbled.  

	"Let's get you into the water, then," she said gently.  
Stupid Imadori, she thought.  He'll get his later.

*************
		
	Far away, Harima and Yakumo continued to snooze 
together in the slowly cooling tub of hot water.

**************

	Fuyuki and Yuuki had reached Yuuki's apartment 
building.  "Hmm, I could invite you two over and pointedly 
not invite Tomo," Fuyuki said.

	"No, that wouldn't stop her, and Sagano's mother 
would insist she bring Tomo anyway," Yuuki said, sighing.

	"At least it will probably distract her from 
threesomes," Fuyuki said.

	"I can't tell if she's joking or serious," Yuuki said 
nervously, kicking the snow about which lightly dusted 
everything.

	"Such things blend together into one when it comes to 
Megumi-san," Fuyuki said.  "I'd think you'd be used to it."

	"You NEVER get used to it," Yuuki said, shaking her 
head.  "I'm surprised you turned her down.  I mean, I know 
I'm not very pretty, but..."

	"Well, it's not the sort of thing which usually works 
out in the long term, or I'd say yes," Fuyuki said.  "I think 
you're pretty.  But I'm trying to be sensible, since I know 
she won't be."

	Yuuki smiled, feeling flattered.  "Take good care of 
her, Fuyuki-san."  She yawned.  "And I'm going to bed.'

	"Goodnight, Yuuki-san.  See you tomorrow."

	And he headed off into the snow.

**************

	Eri hauled Imadori inside by his feet.  "What the hell 
did you think you were doing?  Not that I'd mind if you 
killed yourself, but it would ruin our vacation if we had a 
death!"

	Imadori stubbornly remained silent, looking 
disgruntled.

	"Fine," she said.  "Peep on me again and DIE."

	He looked up at her, his face strangely blank, then 
rose.  "Thank you for bringing me in," he said.  "I'd better 
go take a warm bath and heat up."

	"Just don't try spying on me again," Eri said, heading 
for bed.

	On her way there, she found a cat lurking outside 
Satsuki and Suga's room.  She picked it up, scratching her 
head, and went and found Nakamura.  "Where did this cat 
come from?"

	"Came with the house," Nakamura said.  "The deed 
indicates it has to be taken care of and never allowed to go 
outside."

	"How very strange," Eri said.  This is what happens 
when you buy houses at the last minute, she thought.  She 
studied the calico; something weird about this cat, she 
thought.

	Then she shook her head and put it down.  "I'm going 
to..."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"  There were riot 
noises in the bathhouse.

	Eri slapped her forehead.  "I'm surrounded by 
maniacs.  Come on."

	They found Asou (mostly naked in the hot tub) and 
Sara (wearing now wet pajamas and a coat) hurling 
buckets, soap, and other such items at Imadori, who had 
fallen down and was trying, unsuccessfully, to gain 
purchase on the slick floor.

	"People are trying to sleep!  Imadori, get out until they 
finish!"  Eri took a moment to check out Asou's very nice 
body.  Not bad at all, she thought.  "And..."

	The cat chose this moment to rush in and leap onto 
Asou's upper body, so he toppled down into the water, 
splashing Sara more.  

	Eri grabbed Imadori by the feet again.  "Go change, 
stay in your room until eternity ends."

	Sara tried to help stop the cat and fell into the tub.  
"My coat!"

	Nakamura strode forward and plucked out the cat.  
"Come, Susanoo, time for you to be locked in your cat 
carrier."

	Eri sighed.  "Sorry, Asou-san, Sara-san.  I'm GOING 
TO BED NOW.  Or so I hope.  Unless you need any help?"

	"We're fine," Sara said, bobbing up.

	Eri headed out to dump Imadori and try, desperately, 
to get some sleep.

****************

	Satsuki and Suga hovered, paralyzed, on the edge of 
the bed, listening to mounting chaos.

	But clearly, it was just a trick, a trick to lure them into 
a false sense of security that Satsuki's father wasn't 
lurking...waiting for them to try anything.

	They did not DARE to let their guard down.  Oh no, 
not even when everything settled down.

***************

	Harry returned to Karen's room and explained 
everything.

	Karen sighed.  "What a huge mess."  She felt a little 
disappointed that Imadori hadn't tried to peep on her, 
though since they were across from Eri, he might have 
gotten confused and gone up the wrong side of the 
building...

	But that was wishful thinking.  

	Harry kicked his boots back off, then paused.  "May I 
stay?"

	She nervously began to unbutton her shirt.  "Yes.  And 
I want to be able to forget everything with Imadori-kun."

	He removed his own shirt as he approached her.  
"Your wish is my command," he said.  Inside, he said, 
SCOOOOORRRREEEE!!!!!!

***************

	Harima was possibly the happiest man alive.  There 
was probably something better than hot sex in a hot tub 
with two sexy women at once, but he didn't know what it 
was and he didn't need it, really.  

	Though the tricky part was keeping them both in play 
at once.  But that was why one had two hands, if only one 
Kenji, jr.  The water also made keeping all heads above 
water very important.

	There was only one thing which could spoil this.

	Karasuma walked in and said, "Harima-san, you need 
to wake up before the water you're sleeping in gets too cold 
and you and Yakumo get sick."

	"Dammit, this isn't real?" Harima demanded.

	"Not even vaguely," Karasuma said, turning to go.

	"It could happen!" Harima shouted after him.

	"Only in a world where I had Akira-san and Tenma-
chan at the same time," Karasuma said.

	"Hey, are you saying..." Harima began.  

	"Wake up," Karasuma said.

	Harima groaned and woke up, dragging himself and 
Yakumo out of the water.  What a mess, he thought.

***************
		
	Asou and Sara sat on the floor of the laundry room 
while their clothing went through the dryer and they sat 
wrapped in towels.  "Hiroshi-kun," she said softly.

	He turned his face to her.  "Yes, Sara-kun?"

	"Do we...are we going to...I mean..."  She was too 
embarrassed to ask.

	He kissed her softly.  "Not tonight.  But we should talk 
about it later, when we're not cold and tired."

	She nodded and cuddled up to him.  She had lost the 
mood herself.  But they'd almost...they had to talk about it.

	Later.

**************	

	"You asleep, Sagano?" Tomo asked, just as Sagano 
was drifting off to sleep.

	Sagano did her best to remain utterly still.  If she 
feigned death, Tomo would talk herself to sleep quickly.

	"So what's the deal with your girlfriend?" Tomo 
asked.

	Silence.  No movement.  UTTER SILENCE.  

	"You can't fool me.  If you were asleep, you'd be 
thrashing wildly."

	Sagano began thrashing wildly.  

	"And banging your head against the wall," Tomo said.

	Sagano began banging her head against the wall.

	"And shouting incoherently about how the Daleks 
have broken through the defenses."

	"DALEKS IN SECTOR 16!!!!"

	The door flew open and Sagano's mother entered.  
"Megumi-chan, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

	"Nothing," Sagano said feebly.

	"Go sleep in the living room with your little neice," 
Sagano's mother said.  "You've been assigned to drool-
tending duties."

	"Dammit!"

	"Don't swear at me, young lady," her mother said.  
"Go wash your mouth out, then go take care of little 
Hanako."

	Sagano sighed and trundled off, grumbling.

	Tomo clambered into the nice warm bed.  VICTORY.

**************

	Mikoto woke up in the middle of the night and went to 
the bathroom.  On her return, she wandered to the window 
a moment, pulled the shades, and stared off at the snow; it 
looked like it would likely be good for skiing in the 
morning.

	The palpable cold near the window led her to toss 
another log on the fire, and crawl back into bed, cuddling 
up to Hanai.  She felt wonderful, all the stress of school 
gone, able to forget all their troubles with Hanai's father.  

	She glanced over at Miki and Masahiro; Miki slept 
half on top of him, one leg splayed over, trying to claim 
more of the bed, but Hanai's leg was in the way.  She felt a 
very soft flush of arousal, as if her body wanted to be more 
aroused, but the batteries were going dead.  

	She asked herself idly why she liked doing it like this 
so much, and she wasn't sure.  The sheer...sense of taboo-
breaking was part of it, she suspected.  But it felt strangely 
natural having them here.  

	She wondered, idly, if it would feel this good with her 
other friends, if Akira and Nara or Tenma and Karasuma or 
Eri and Harima (or Harima and Yakumo) would turn her on 
the same way.  Or maybe it was due to her old crush on 
Masahiro.  Or the strange feeling of having a college 
student look up to her.  THAT was certainly flattering.

	Slowly, warmth snuck back into her, followed by 
lassitude, followed by sliding off into sleep again.

***************

	"Kentarou-kun," Akira whispered in the dead of night 
to Nara.

	"Mmrr, what?"

	"Did I get drunk?" Akira asked softly.

	"Yes," he mumbled, turning to face her.

	"I should try to apologize tomorrow," Akira said 
nervously.

	"Can we discuss this when I'm not trying to sleep?" 
Nara asked.

	"I...yes," Akira said, though she wanted to plan now.

	"G'nite."  

	He fell asleep quickly; she ran over ideas in her head 
until dawn.

************

	Asou knocked on Satsuki and Suga's door very softly; 
he wanted to go exercise, but he was afraid he'd wake up 
Satsuki.  Though she might want to exercise too; he'd tried 
to ask Sara, but she kept mumbling for five more minutes.

	The door swung open and he saw Suga sitting on the 
edge of the bed, looking like he was in rigor mortis with 
Satsuki leaning on him likewise.  Their eyes were open, but 
they looked almost dead.

	"You guys okay?" Asou asked.

	Silence.

	He went over and gently poked them; they toppled 
over onto the bed, their eyes closed, and began snoring.

	I exercise alone, I guess, he thought.

************

	Nakamura began making breakfast.  At least none of 
the ghosts manifested last night, he thought.  Assuming the 
cat isn't one.

	Which was possible, as he thought about it.

	Well, we have an exorcist if we need one, he thought.  
Sara-san is very reliable.

	He continued working on breakfast, ultimately 
blaming the failure of the coffee to taste good on bad beans, 
though the coffee maker ghost knew better.

***********

	Karen woke up feeling very good.  I made the right 
decision, she told herself.  No more thinking about 
Imadori-kun.  I have a boyfriend and he can make me feel 
very happy.  We're going to have a good time skiing and 
that's it.  

	He stirred slightly and she said softly, "Honey, you 
ready to get up?"

	"Need more time to recharge," he mumbled.  "You 
took all I had."

	She blushed at that, then said, "I meant for breakfast 
and skiing."

	"Oh," he mumbled.  "Can we eat in?"

	"I don't think so," she said.  

	He sighed.  "Let's go bathe, then."  He rose up out of 
the sheets.  "COLD."  He sank back into them.

	"It's not that...eeeeee...." Karen said.

	The window was now cracked open, and cold air was 
blowing in.

	Harry ran over and shut it and pulled the blinds.  
"How did that happen?"

	"I don't know," Karen said. She hoped it wasn't some 
jealous prank of Imadori's.  Or the result of...surely he 
wouldn't peep on...was he jealous?  Maybe.  She kind of 
liked that.

************	

	Yakumo stirred, feeling Kenji's nice warm body next 
to her.  She ran a hand across his chest, feeling his muscles, 
and smiled.  Even if she hadn't been able to...with him 
yet...he was here and hers and liked sleeping with her.  

	That had to be good.

	She kissed him softly and got up and changed into 
some clothing and went to start making a really big 
breakfast.

************	

	Hanai awoke and kissed Mikoto softly; she was still 
deep enough asleep she didn't notice at all.  He decided to 
go take a shower, but he could hear noises in the bathroom, 
so he crawled back under the covers.

	Miki soon came out in a towel and waved to him, lost 
the towel, then kicked it into her hands, standing pretty 
much naked in front of him.  He could feel his engine rev 
gently from looking at her, though he was still too spent for 
his body to respond too much.

	He couldn't tell if she noticed or not as she came over 
and kneeled on the bed with one leg to whisper into his ear, 
"It just hit me that LOTS of people are going to want 
showers and baths, so you might want to make Mikoto get 
up and go with you to save water."

	He nodded.  "Good idea," he whispered, and then idly 
imagined her just kind of climbing onto him, pushing him 
back...  The thought of it was quite pleasurable, but not 
something he ought to be thinking of about another woman.  
But then, didn't something like this lean that way naturally?  
Why just look?

	On the other hand, if everyone was agreeable...

	But this wasn't the time to think about it.

	She leaned forward, stopped, then pulled back, giving 
him a thumbs up and wandered off to the dresser drawer 
she and Masahiro had claimed.

	He woke Mikoto up and dragged her into the shower.  
Trying to bathe each other soon turned into making out, 
though neither was up to going all the way.  They probably 
would have tried anyway, but Masahiro said, "Don't use too 
much hot water!  Others need it too!"

	This prompted them to quickly finish bathing each 
other and get out.  They got dressed very quickly, as it was 
too cold to do otherwise.  Mikoto sat down on Hanai's lap, 
kissing him softly.  "I feel so randy," she mumbled.

	"Me too," Hanai said.  "But we really should get some 
breakfast."

	"Yeah," Mikoto said.

	They started kissing again, until Tenma opened the 
door, grabbed them, and began dragging them off, saying, 
"You can kiss later.  Yakumo's yummy breakfast will get 
COLD AS ICE if you don't come NOW."

	"I hope we didn't make too much noise last night," 
Hanai said as he was dragged.

	"I was too busy with Ooji-kun," Tenma said, then 
blushed.  "I didn't mean to mention it," she mumbled.

	"Hah!" Mikoto said.  "Was he good?"

	"He was wonderful," Tenma said dreamily.  "Tasted 
like chocolate."

	"..."  

	Hanai laughed.  "Melts in your mouth, not your 
hand?"

	Mikoto stared at Hanai.  "I can't believe you made that 
joke."

	"I'm really Imadori in disguise," he said, deadpan.

	Tenma frowned.  "I hope he's not causing Karen-chan 
or Eri-chan any trouble."

	"I'm just glad he's doing it far away from me," Hanai 
said.

	Mikoto sighed.  "Poor Eri.  Do you think her parents 
will keep this up much longer?"

	"Given she's so stubborn...yes," Hanai said.

	Well, at least it keeps her away from Kenji-kun, 
Tenma thought.  Tenma loved Eri deeply, but Kenji had 
pretty clearly committed to Yakumo, so she should backoff 
and not cause them trouble.  Right?

**************

	Once they finished breakfast, Eri asked her gang, "So, 
everyone ready for skiing?  Do we have any novices?"

	"I have skiied, but only a little," Sara said.

	"I'm an expert skiier," Imadori said.

	"I think Satsuki is a novice too, but she and Suga are 
crashed out," Asou said.

	"I've never skiied, but I want to learn," Karen said.

	"I'm pretty damn good," Harry said.  "But I'll teach 
you, Karen."

	She smiled at him, and Imadori tightened his grip on 
his glass, then hastily downed more coffee.  "Looks like 
you and I will be hitting the expert slopes while everyone 
else gets taught," he said.

	Karen told herself to NOT think of those two skiing 
together.

	Eri frowned, but she didn't want to try an unfamiliar 
hard slope by herself.  "If you fall off a cliff, you're on your 
own," she said to Imadori.

	"I've never had a skiing accident," Imadori said.  
"You'll be safe with me, fiancee."

	Karen made herself not wince at the word.  "Let's go, 
boyfriend," she said, putting extra weight on the latter 
word.

	"Let's go," Sara said, smiling.

	They headed out.

************
	
	Tenma cornered Akira, taking both of her hands, then 
loudly whispered, "We did it!"

	Akira blinked.  "Did what?"

	"IT," Tenma said.

	"You got up before the alarm went off?" Akira 
guessed.

	"No!  NOOKIE.  Sweet love with my Karasuma."

	Akira blinked.  "Really?"

	"Yes!"

	"Congratulations.  You have to be careful he doesn't 
get any crazy ideas into his head now, but if you tend to 
him carefully, it'll be a lot of fun," Akira said.

	Tenma laughed nervously.  "I hardly know what I'm 
doing."

	"Me either," Akira confessed.  "I never had a 
boyfriend before."

	"That surprises me," Tenma said.  "You're so kind and 
smart."

	"Most men don't go for a woman like me," Akira said.  
"I had thought...but I am lucky.  Let's hope our luck lasts."

	"Yeah."
	
************

	Tenma looked down the slopes nervously; she'd never 
been skiing before. Karasuma was with her, but he was, as 
usual, not very communicative.  Akira, on the other hand, 
was more helpful, adjusting her stance and going over the 
instructions again.  

	Tenma breathed in and out.  Focus.  I am the skiier, 
she thought.  I can do this.  Just imagine I'm skiing in 
Olympic competition like I've seen on TV...

	She breathed in and out and then pushed off, starting 
down the slope.  She could see thin forest, and beyond it, 
another ridge, with a very large lodge at the top.  Tiny 
figures skiied down the far slope.

	She waved, just in case it was her friends, and soon 
Akira, Nara, and Karasuma were by her side, Akira and 
Karasuma flanking her.  

	And then she heard something.  "Wait!" she heard 
Shinichi shout behind her.  "Slow down, Harima-san, 
Tsukamoto-san!"

	Tenma began to slow down, until Akira said, "I think 
he means your sister."

	Tenma looked back and saw Harima blazing down the 
slope like a madman with Yakumo racing behind him, 
while Shinichi tried to catch up to them.  

	"Tenma!"  She felt a tug and Akira pulled her out of 
the way of colliding with a tree.  

	"Thank you!" Tenma said, then continued, "SLOW 
DOWN, KENJI-KUN!"

	Kenji BLAZED on past them, Yakumo in his wake, 
Shinichi in pursuit.  "Harima-san, you're going to collide 
with the other skiiers!"

	Harima looked back to Shinichi and said, "Hah!  I'm 
so fast, they'll never touch me!"	

	He couldn't see he was headed right for a tree.  

	Fortunately for him, Akira shouted, "Tree, Kenji!"	

	"What?" he craned his head around, twisting his body 
and skis and accidentally dodged the tree, now racing 
towards the far slope, which was steeper than this one.

	"Harima, that's not safe!" Shinichi shouted.

	"Don't make Yakumo a widow!" Tenma shouted.

	"Careful!" Yakumo said.

	Instead, Harima deliberately jumped over a miniature 
cliff just to show off, while Yakumo scooted to one side.

	It was only as he drew close to the onrushing skiiers 
from the other slope (he recognized Imadori and Eri with 
ease) that he realized he didn't know how to stop.

	"Hey, how do I stop?" he shouted up to Shinichi.  

	Shinichi yelled something which caught on the wind.

	"Kenji!" Eri shouted.

	"Eri!"  he skiied towards her; Imadori waved to him 
idly, pulling ahead a little.

	Then the security men in white ski trooper uniforms 
suddenly emerged from nowhere and swarmed towards 
him.  His only choice was to speed up and break the line.  

	They broke out of the way, but he went off another 
small drop, hit the ground wrong, and began to roll, a giant 
snowball forming around him which engulfed Eri and 
Imadori.  The three of them rolled off down the v-shaped 
valley between the slopes out of sight.

	"I told him to stop!" Shinichi said, sighing.

	"It's time for...A MANHUNT!"  Tenma shouted.  She 
yanked off her ski-outfit, revealing a Royal Canadian 
Mounted Police Ski Patrol uniform.  

	Officer Tenma said, "Okay, everyone, rally around, 
we have a MANHUNT!"

	Then she took off after Kenji.

************

	Harima dug Eri out of the snowball.  "You okay?"

	"Fine," she said.  "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU 
DOING?"

	"Skiing," he said defiantly.

	"Can I have a little help here?" Imadori asked.  He was 
trying to dig out of the snowball.

	"No," Eri said.  She turned to Harima.  "Have you ever 
been skiing before?"

	"Lots of times," he lied.

	"Well, you need to learn to ski at a safe speed," she 
said.

	"I know what I'm doing!" he protested.  

	"You could have killed us!"

	Imadori shivered.  "So cold...help..."

	"Shut up," Harima said to Imadori.  "But I didn't!" he 
now said to Eri.

	She looked around, but couldn't see the lodges; there 
were two upwards slopes from here and she wasn't sure 
which was right.  "You got us lost in the wilderness!"

	"It's that way," Harima said confidently, pointing up 
one slope.

	"You sure?" Eri asked.

	"Yes," Harima said.

	"Alright, but if you're wrong, you'll pay," Eri said, 
starting up it.

	Imadori still couldn't get free.  "Help!  I'm stuck!"

	"We'll send someone to get you out," Eri said, taking 
off.

	"Have fun making snow angels," Harima said.

	"Don't leave me here!" Imadori yelled.

	But they did.

************

	"Akira and I will go forwards," Shinichi said to the 
others on the novice slope.  "The rest of you should go back 
up to the lodge and over to the harder slope and let the 
others know what happened.  We'll call if we need backup 
or get into trouble."

	Yakumo frowned.  "I want to go with you."

	"You're not experienced enough," Shinichi said.  "That 
way down doesn't look too bad from here, but I'm taking no 
chances."

	"But..."

	"No buts.  We'll keep you all updated," he said firmly.  

	"We'll find him," Akira said firmly to Yakumo.  

	She stared at the snow as they took off.

	As they headed down the slope, Akira said, "I'm sure 
they're fine; Kenji-kun is tough enough to live through 
anything and he won't let Eri-chan get hurt."

	"But what about the other boy?" Shinichi asked.

	"Too perverted to die," Akira said.  "He is, in theory, 
Eri's fiancee.  Arranged marriage.  But her heart is 
elsewhere."

	"Well, I hope he's alright too."  He gazed off down the 
slope.  "This Harima kid doesn't listen very well."

	"He is very stubborn," Akira said.  "And determined to 
show no weakness and always look cool."

	"Typical high school guy, in other words," Shinichi 
said.  

	Akira nodded.  "Exactly."

	They continued to make their way down the slope, 
keeping an eye out for the giant snowball; it had left a 
visible wake, luckily.

	They moved along in silence for a while, then Shinichi 
said, "Have you...never mind."

	Akira cocked her head at him.  "Go on?"

	"I'm just..."  He frowned.  "Wondering if those four 
are really...or if it's just a prank."

	"I can't pretend to know," Akira said cooly, dodging a 
tree.  "Best we not talk of that."

	"Sorry, sorry.  I'm just stunned.  I...never mind.  Your 
boyfriend doesn't...what a stupid question.  I'll just shut up," 
Shinichi said.  

	"I have the best boyfriend in all the world; he is all 
any woman could ever dream of," Akira said loftily.

	"Really?  He seems kind of...well, not so much as 
Tsukamoto Tenma, but..."

	Akira said sharply, "He is very handsome and very 
manly.  He just doesn't flaunt it in public because it is all 
for ME."

	Shinichi sighed.  "I'll just shut up now."

	They skiied down further, then heard Imadori yelling, 
"HELP ME!"

	They spurred forwards and found him tangled up in 
the remains of the snowball; breaking off some branches, 
they hacked him out of it.

	Imadori leaned on Akira; she was surprised when he 
groped her butt; he'd never made a pass at her before; she 
found it strangely satisfying.  This didn't stop her slapping 
his hand, mind you.

	"So cold..." he mumbled.

	She continued to hold him up.  "Where are the 
others?"

	"Gone to have sex, probably," Imadori mumbled.  
"They left me here to freeze."

	"You are my classmate, so I won't let you die," Akira 
said.

	"Thank you!"

	"Unless you touch my butt again," Akira said.

	Fondle.

	"Or my breasts," she said sternly.  "Three strikes."

	"Hmm, nice and firm," Imadori said.

	Akira froze up, her brain having never bothered with 
the 1 in a billion chance of Imadori giving her a breast 
compliment.  "How can you tell through layers of cloth?" 
she mumbled.

	"Nothing can stop my magic touch," he said, but he 
now moved to simply support himself with her shoulders.  
"I can see why Nara appreciates them," Imadori said.

	Is he flirting with me?  Akira wasn't sure.  She wasn't 
used to this.  It was weirdly flattering and gave her strange 
thoughts she definitely wasn't supposed to have.

	Shinichi rose from studying the ground.  "That way.  
They've wandered deeper into the mountains."

	"I would suggest we call the others," Akira said.  
"You're going to need backup, but I have to get Imadori 
back up to his lodge so as to make sure he doesn't end up 
frostbitten."

	"Your logic is impeccable," Shinichi said.  "Let's do 
it."

*************
	
	Yuri stared out the window of the train, watching the 
countryside roll by.  Snow lightly frosted the land; it would 
have been beautiful, if she had been less nervous.

	This was going to be a disaster; she could feel it in her 
bones.  But she wasn't going to back down now.  For the 
future, she thought.

	She glanced over at her lovers; Tae was passed out 
asleep, and Tani-sensei was reading an English novel.  He 
turned and smiled at her for a moment, and she felt 
stronger.

	I may not be much alone, she thought.  But together 
we're invincible.

	We have to be.

*************

	"I think we went the wrong way," Eri said.

	"We're FINE," Harima said.  "It's just a little further 
up."

	"You said that twenty minutes ago!" Eri protested, but 
kept following.

	"Hmm, I can see some rich snob's lodge from here," 
Harima said.

	"That's MY LODGE," Eri snapped.  She stared.  
"Dammit, we went the wrong way!"

	"Well, at least the weather is nice and clear."

	A stiff wind began to blow; they could see clouds 
coming from the north.

	"Dammit," Eri said.  "TRIPLE DAMMIT."

	"Well, shit," Harima said.  "We'd better find some 
shelter."

	"You got us into this!" Eri shouted angrily.

	"You're the one who knew this area, but you followed 
me anyway!"

	"This is my first visit here!" she snapped back.  "Why 
are you so stubborn?"

	"Why are YOU so stubborn?" he shouted back. 

	They glared at each other, and then Harima turned, 
saying, "Let me find a bird or something; they'll know 
where to find a cave."

	Eri watched tiny specks of people move about far 
away, then quietly followed Harima once he got directions.  
Baka, she thought.

***************

	"Snow's coming in," Masahiro said.  "We can't go 
after them until it stops.  But the radio says it won't last 
TOO long.  So hopefully, we can find them before the sun 
sets."

	Yakumo frowned.  "We can't just abandon Kenji-kun."

	"And we can't go out into all that snow," Masahiro 
said.  "But it won't last too long."  

	Take care of yourselves, Tenma thought.  I want you 
to be okay!

****************	

	Eri and Harima sat by the fire they'd built in their 
cave, watching the snow fall.  "We wouldn't be stuck here 
if you hadn't screwed up," Eri said.

	"You're the expert skiier!  You shouldn't have been 
caught!" Harima said.

	She sighed and stared out the mouth of the cave.  
"Well, we finally have some privacy," Eri said.

	He laughed nervously.  "Yeah."

	They both sat there, not sure what to say first.  

	Finally, Harima said, "How do you think you did on 
your finals?"

	"Pretty well, I think," she said. "And you?"

	"I feel pretty confident," Harima said.  "I have to 
improve my grades if I'm gonna get into a good art school.  
And I studied as hard as I could, given how much we 
missed."

	"That's new," she said.  "You never cared."

	"I was trying to flunk so I could have remedial lessons 
with Tenma.  But now, any kind of future I have..."  He 
sighed.  "It's gotta involve me doing well."

	The future.  Could they have one?  Eri didn't know.  
Surely her parents would never let her marry Kenji...not 
that she wanted marriage right now, but...but they engaged 
her to Imadori and he wasn't very rich either.

	"Me too," Eri said.  "Don't you hate to lose?" 

	"Yes," Harima said.

	"Think of bad grades as losing to other students.  
THAT will motivate you," she said.

	So true, he thought.  

	They sat quietly for a bit, then he said, "I don't know 
how I'll do it and stay sane, but I've given up on Tenma.  
She and Karasuma...they..."  It suddenly hit him that they'd 
probably had sex the previous night.

	"I know, you told me before, last time," Eri said softly.

	He slumped, staring down at his feet.  He wouldn't 
cry.  Not in front of Eri.  Or anyone.  Even if some things 
did call for it.  But not now.

	Eri felt her heart leap with hope.  Finally.  Tenma was 
never going to love him, he was only hurting himself, now 
he was...  She looked at him.  In pain.  He'd been so 
cheerful...but probably he hadn't even THOUGHT about it 
until now.  About Tenma and Karasuma having sex; the 
thought of it made some of her brain cells fry.  

	She came over to sit by him, putting a hand on one 
knee.  "Well, we don't have to rush things," she said.  If you 
put too much pressure on men, they flee.  "As I can't date 
anyone until I'm rid of Imadori."

	"I'm going to KILL him," Harima hissed.

	She smiled a little, then nervously climbed into his 
lap.  "Wanna kiss?" she asked softly, trying to sound 
confident.

	"He hasn't tried to kiss you, has he?" Harima asked 
angrily.

	"No," she said.  "Thank God.  Do you want..."

	SMOOOOOOCH ensued.

	They were too busy to talk for a while.

*************	

	Karen told herself she couldn't just keep rushing to 
Imadori every time he brought disaster on himself.  
Nonetheless, she found herself checking in on him.  As she 
approached, she could hear him talking to Sara, who was 
ministering to him.  "That good?" Sara asked.

	"Wonderful," Imadori said.  "You're so kind, like an 
angel."

	She could hear the blush in Sara's voice.  She knew it 
from her own.  "You flatter me, sempai.  I'm just doing my 
duty."

	"I feel so much better," he said.  "I wish my fiancee 
could be as kind as you."

	Karen told herself to stop spying and go in, but her 
legs wouldn't move.  	

	"Given how much she hates you, I can't understand 
why you're going along with it," Sara said.

	Karen's breath caught in anticipation.

	"Roses have thorns, you know," Imadori said.  "But 
teasing her is such fun."  She could hear him smile.  "I 
doubt this will last all the way to actual marriage, but it's 
kind of cool for now.  And her parents have been very kind 
to me."

	So he's not even serious about this, Karen thought.  
Just a way to pass the time.  She could feel herself tremble 
with anger.  How can he treat us all so casually?  Does he 
have no love in him at all? Are all those words of praise 
just empty?

	She couldn't...she wanted to...

	She turned and strode away, finding Harry with Asou 
and Suga, playing a card game and watching the snow fall.  
She grabbed Harry.  "I need you now, boyfriend," she said.

	"I...uh...what?" he said in confusion.  "I didn't do 
something, did I?"

	"It's what I WANT you to do," she said as she tugged 
him along.

	"Damn, I wish my girlfriend would do that," Suga said 
as Karen dragged Harry off.

	"That reminds me," Asou said.  "Why exactly were 
you too...did you sit on the edge of the bed all night?"

	"It was an endurance exercise," Suga said stubbornly.

	Noises started in the distance.

	"Uh huh."

	"So, did you and Sara..."

	"We just snuggled," Asou said.

	"Man, someone's got to break your repression," Suga 
said.

	"Hello, Mr. Pot," Asou said.

	"At least I'm worried about getting a beating," Suga 
grumbled.

	"Where is Satsuki, anyway?"

	Suga said, "Let's go check on her; since we lost Harry, 
we need at least one of our girlfriends for this."

	They suited up and went outside and found her 
standing in the falling snow, sweeping the area with 
binoculars.  She pointed to a glowing spark in the distance.  
"I bet that's their fire."

	"Good thinking, girlfriend," Suga said, putting an arm 
around her waist.  Satsuki smiled and lay her head on his 
shoulder.  

	Asou snapped some photos with his camera.  "That 
should help us find it.  You want to play some cards with 
us?"

	"Sure," Satsuki said.  "Let's play Rummy so I can 
crush you all."

	"Sure," Suga replied, and they went inside to play.

***************

	"Was it really necessary to knock Tsukamoto out?" 
Keiichi asked Akira.

	"Sadly, yes," Akira said.  "Otherwise, she'd rush out 
into the snow."

	Tenma and Yakumo were both on the couch with a 
blanket over them as they cuddled in their sleep.  

	"So what do we do now?" Keiichi asked.

	"We wait, maybe gamble some more.  I can use the 
money," Akira said.

	Keiichi laughed nervously.

	"I hope Kenji-kun and Eri-chan are all right," Mikoto 
said.

	"I'm sure they're just fine," Akira said.

************

	Eri was having to fight her own instincts, which were 
telling her it was time to get naked with Kenji  and her 
common sense, which kept pointing out that getting naked 
in a cave during a snowstorm was basically insane.  Even if 
they DID have a fire.

	But then she heard the sound of claws scraping stone.  
She quickly flipped over Harima, pulling him with her 
away from the noise.  

	"What the hell was...BEAR!" Kenji said.

	A large, dangerous looking bear was staring at them.

	Kenji said, "Hello, Mr. Bear.  Is this your cave?"

	"Yes," the bear replied.  "Go mate somewhere else."

	"But it's snowing!" Harima protested.

	Eri watched tensely, wishing she understood.

	"You'll keep me awake," the bear said.  

	"We have to go," Harima said to Eri.

	"But it's pouring down snow!"

	"He's going to hibernate," Harima said.

	"But...shouldn't he be hibernating already?"

	"Do you want to argue with a bear?" Harima asked.

	No, not really.

	Eri sighed and put her ski cap back on and they 
quickly left, searching for more shelter.

****************	

	Akira, Mikoto, Hanai, and Shinichi trudged up the 
mountain, once the snow had cleared.  Tenma and Yakumo 
were still asleep, which made Akira glad, as it avoided 
having to tell her she couldn't come.  They wanted only 
experienced skiiers.  

	While the snow obscured any tracks, the pictures 
taken by Asou guided them up towards a cave.  They heard 
odd noises as they approached, and Akira crept up, then 
back.  

	"It's a bear."

	"They got eaten by a bear?" Shinichi said in horror.

	"No sign of violence," Akira said.  "But..."  She 
frowned.  

	"And their tracks are hidden by the snow," Hanai 
frowned.  "We're going to have to call in more people and 
fan out to search."

	"Delightful," Akira said.  "Well, let's get on it."

************

	Now that the snow had cleared, Sakaki, Kagura, 
Osaka, and Chiyo-chan were about to take another run 
down the slopes.  Before they headed out, however, the 
radio came on, announcing that two skiiers had been lost 
somewhere on Mount Bitake, and that everyone should 
keep an eye out for them.

	"Hey, we're on Mount Bitake," Kagura said.  "Right?"

	"Maybe Tadakichi can track them down," Osaka said.

	"Well, it won't hurt to try," Chiyo-chan said.  "Being 
lost in snow is pretty terrible."

	Sakaki nodded.  

	Chiyo-chan got Tadakichi and mounted up.  "Let's 
go!"

***********

	"I hope this isn't really a shrine," Eri said again, 
staring at the large wooden Buddha against the back wall of 
the cave.

	"Buddha alone doesn't make a shrine," Harima said.  
But he wasn't comfortable making out with Buddha 
watching him.

	"The snow has stopped.  We should head back," Eri 
said.

	"No rush," Harima said.  "We may not see each other 
again before Christmas."

	"True," she said, leaning over on him.  He put an arm 
around her and she smiled.

	"So what are you going to do when you finish high 
school?" he asked.

	"Go to college, be rich, run the family businesses once 
I inherit.  Probably run just one of them until I do," Eri 
said.

	"Man, I guess you just kind of inherited your future," 
Harima said a little sadly.

	"Not much room for deviance unless I just throw it all 
away and get myself disinherited," Eri said with a sigh.  
"You may not have much, but you can dream, at least."

	He frowned at that.  "What would you do if you could 
be free?"

	She wasn't sure, really.  "Science, maybe.  I'm good at 
science and math."

	He imagined Eri in a labcoat and glasses.  It was 
incredibly cute, he thought.  "You look nice like that."

	"What?"

	"Just imagining it," he said.  "You'd look nice as a 
scientist."

	She blinked.  "Really?"

	"Yeah," he said.  "I think you'd make a great scientist.  
Or an athlete.  Given you like to compete."

	"Yeah, I love to," Eri said, grinning.

	"So who gets it all if you did leave your family?" 
Harima asked.

	"I...I don't know for sure," Eri said.  "Probably at this 
point, my parents won't manage to have more kids, so I 
suppose my cousin Jessica.  Even if she's lazy."  Eri 
grimaced at that.

	I really should learn more about her family, Harima 
thought.  Probably her relatives are the most likely ones to 
be able to end that damn engagement.  "So, tell me more 
about your family.  I hardly know anything about it."

	She looked surprised.  "You really want to know?"

	"Yeah," he said.  "I told you about mine.  Not that 
there's much to know."

	"Well, it goes back to Grandfather, who took a British 
wife during the Occupation..." Eri began.  

	Harima sat back and listened and tried to brew a plan.  
Even if family intrigue wasn't his strong suit.

************

	"Are you sure you're fit enough for this?" Akira asked 
Imadori skeptically.

	"Yes," he said hotly.  "I've been laid up for hours with 
Sara's tender care.  I am ready and able.  Even if I'd rather 
let Harima go freeze to death at this point.  But I can't save 
Eri without saving him."

	"I will take you with me, then," Akira said.  She 
turned to Karen.  "Your job is to make sure none of the 
fretful do anything insane and try to follow us."

	She folded her arms across her chest.  "Right."

	"Okay, everyone, let's move out," Akira said.	

***********

	"Is Takano-san always such a take-charge person?" 
Miki asked Hanai.

	They slowly picked their way up the mountainside.  
Hanai wondered again why Akira had chosen the pairs that 
she did.  Not that he minded, but he'd been surprised she let 
Imadori of all people be her partner.

	"If she cares enough to take charge," Hanai said.  
"Takano-san sometimes likes to sit back and let people 
flounder to amuse herself."

	"I don't think she likes me too much," Miki said 
hesitantly.

	"Well, she really hates me," Hanai said.  "I don't think 
anyone in the world loathes me as much as she does."  He 
sighed.  "I don't know what I did to anger her, but it's been 
wall-to-wall hate this whole school year."

	"Well, I like you," Miki said.  "But some people are 
just bitchy, I guess."

	Hanai looked around, hoping to find some sort of clue, 
but there was just trees, rocks, and snow.  "She has an 
admirable skill of command when she chooses to exercise 
it."

	"Which isn't often, I take it," Miki said.

	"Not too often, but she does, in a crisis."  Hanai 
sighed.  "Which ought to be my job as class rep."

	She reached over and patted his hand.  "You're not in 
school now, Haruki-kun."

	"Father didn't pound as much into me as he wanted, 
but the sense of duty stuck," Hanai said.  He looked around, 
then began shouting "HARIMA-SAN!  SAWACHIKA-
SAN!"

	Miki started yelling as well, and they continued their 
search.

*************

	Imadori skiied along at a good pace, though Akira 
found it easy to keep up.  He seemed driven to find Eri, 
which surprised Akira, but also pleased her.  It was 
probably just driven by the desire to impress her and to try 
to get into her bed, but still, it was his duty as her fiancee.  
If he was going to help her parents punish her, at least he 
could act as a good fiancee.  

	"You see anything?" Akira asked.

	"Nothing," he replied.

	She shouted, "KENJI-KUN!  ERI-CHAN!"

	"SHITHEAD!  ERI-CHAN!" Imadori shouted.

	"He's not that bad," Akira said, giving Imadori a look.

	"This is all his fault!" Imadori said, gesticulating with 
one pole. 

	He is innocent for once, Akira thought.  "Don't worry, 
we'll find Eri-chan."

	"I hope so," he said, looking around.  "I couldn't stand 
telling her parents she was hurt."

	She skiied in silence a little, then said, "Imadori-san, 
are you serious about Eri-chan?"

	"I'm doing everything I can to find her!" he said.  "But 
you can hardly see anything for all the trees."

	"I mean, the engagement."

	"Of course I'm serious," he said.  It wasn't his serious 
voice, however.

	"Don't lie to me," Akira said, pushing forwards.

	"My heart is none of your business," Imadori said 
sharply.  "I'm not going to abandon my fiancee to die in the 
wilderness, if that's what you're worried about.  Beyond 
that, it's none of your business."

	"She's my friend," Akira said sharply.  "That makes it 
my business."

	"I'm not interested in sharing confidences with you so 
you can use them against me or sell me down the river," 
Imadori said, then turned to scan up the mountain.  "Maybe 
up there?  There's a cave."

	"No sign of a fire," Akira said, frowning.  "Though I 
suppose we should check it anyway."

	They moved silently up the mountain and peeked, 
only to find a bear snoozing away.  They crept off, and 
continued their search in somewhat hostile silence.

*************

	Eri was in Harima's lap, making out with him, when a 
loud bark startled her so much she fell over.

	Some sort of snow-swathed tiny person rode in on a 
huge white dog, followed by a mountain of a woman, a 
relatively normal looking woman, and a sort of vapid 
zombie-girl.

	"We found them!" the tiny person said proudly.

	"Who the hell are you?" Harima said, confused.

	The dog said to him, "I am Tadakichi, Destroyer of 
Worlds.  This is my master Chiyo the Great!  She's very 
kind, and these are her friends Sakaki the Brave, Kagura 
the Strong, and Osaka the Confused."

	Harima petted Tadakichi behind the ears.  "Good 
boy," he said.  "And I agree, she does look confused."

	Osaka stared blankly at Harima.

	Sakaki looked curiously at Harima.  Was he talking to 
the dog?

	Chiyo-chan cocked her head.  "Are you talking to my 
dog, Mr..."

	"She's very kind, but not fluent in Dog," Tadakichi 
explained.

	"The zombie girl isn't some kind of witch, is she?" 
Harima asked the dog.

	Eri studied the four; the little kid looked kind of 
familiar.

	"She took too much drugs in the sixties, I think," 
Tadakichi said.

	"I'm Harima Kenji, and this is Sawachika Eri," Harima 
said.
		
	"Sawachika-san!  Your family is very famous," Chiyo-
chan said.  "I'm Mihama Chiyo."  She then introduced her 
friends.  

	"Tadakichi-san says you are very kind," Harima said.  

	Chiyo looked very embarrassed.  Osaka drifted over 
and looked into Tadakichi's mouth as he panted at her.  

	"Mihama-san!  I knew I had seen you somewhere 
before," Eri said.  "I think one of my cousins married one 
of yours and you were at the wedding, last year."

	"Yes!" Chiyo said.  "You were one of her bridesmaids, 
right?"

	Eri nodded, smiling. "Yes, I was.  Thank you for 
finding us, Mihama-san.  We just bought a place near here, 
the old Tadayama house."

	"Oh, I know where that is.  Would you like help 
finding your way back?"

	Sakaki drifted closer to Harima, then asked, hesitantly, 
"You can talk to dogs?"

	"Hmm?  Oh, any animal."

	"Oh come on, no one can talk to animals," Kagura 
said, hands on her hips.

	"We'd be very grateful, Mihama-san," Eri said.

	Chiyo smiled.  "We'd be glad to."

	"Tadakichi, can you tell me one of Kagura-san's 
secrets so she'll know we understand each other?" Harima 
asked Tadakichi.

	"She's the one who ate the last apple this morning," 
Tadakichi said.

	"He says you ate the last apple, Kagura-san."

	Osaka rose slowly, like the dead coming out of a 
grave, then lumbered over to Kagura.  "You said you 
didn't."

	Sakaki looked at Harima, then at Tadakichi, 
thoughtfully.  "Can you talk to cats?" she asked softly.

	Kagura said, "Hey, who are you going to believe?  Me 
or someone who claims to talk to dogs?"

	"The man who talks to dogs, of course," Osaka said.

	"..."

	"I can talk to any animal," Harima said to Sakaki.

	Her eyes lit up.  "You can?"

	"Yes."  She's kind of slow, he thought.

	"Really?" she asked hopefully.

	"Yes," Harima said a little nervously.  REAL slow.  

	"You...I want to learn," she said urgently.

	Harima licked his lips nervously.  "I...I don't know if I 
can teach it."

	"Please try," she said, taking a hand of his.  "Please."  
Her voice was urgent.

	"Well, err..."  He laughed nervously.  This woman was 
suddenly so intense, and really, she was kind of cute, 
almost like if Tenma-chan had suddenly grown a foot taller 
and much more...

	Eri said, "We have a cat that came with our house if 
you like cats, Sakaki-san."  She took Harima's other hand 
and pulled him out of her grasp.  

	Sakaki's eyes lit up.  "I'd like...to see it," she said 
hesitantly.

	"Let's get out of here before it gets dark, then," Eri 
said.

	So they took off.

*************

	Mikoto wondered if being paired with Masahiro was 
Akira's comment on...the thing she and Haruki had with 
Miki and Masahiro.  Whatever it was exactly.

	It was incredible, whatever it was.  Just having... 
seeing them...  Sex was very good, but it was better with 
those two watching.  She shivered a little and told herself 
not think about it.

	She glanced over at Masahiro, who was looking 
intently for tracks, and felt childish for even thinking about 
it.  He's always been so hard-working, Mikoto thought.  

	She tried to think.  There ought to be some clue as to 
where those two were.

	She looked for any stray doodles or bullet holes, but 
couldn't find any.

	Then an inspiration hit her.  "HEY, HARIMA!  
IMADORI IS HERE AND HE SAYS HE CAN WHIP 
YOUR ASS!" she shouted into the wind.

	Masahiro jumped.  "What the hell?"

	She started talking trash loudly into the wind.

	Then she heard a distant crashing noise.  Harima came 
crashing out of the trees with Eri.  "Where's the punk-ass?  
I WILL KILL HIM!" Harima shouted.

	Mikoto laughed softly.  "We found you, good.  I made 
it up to see if it caught your attention.  He's not here."

	"He's not?  DAMMIT!  I'll get him for this!"

	Sakaki, Chiyo-chan, Osaka, and Kagura now loomed 
out of the woods behind Eri and Harima.

	"Harima-san, according to the witnesses, the giant 
snowball was your fault," Masahiro said.  

	"I'll cut him!  I will!" Harima ranted.

	"Kenji-kun, that's enough," Eri said firmly.

	He fell mostly silent, but mumbled under his breath.

	Mikoto sighed.  "I'll call the others; let's head back."  
She paused.  "Oh, hello there."  She waved to the four other 
arrivals.

	"They found us in the cave, and I invited them to see 
my lodge," Eri said to Mikoto, then introduced them.

	CAT, Sakaki thought.  Going to see a CAT.  CAT.  

	"Is Harima going to be able to come over to your 
place?"  Mikoto asked.

	Eri sighed.  "No.  Stupid engagement."

	"What?" Chiyo-chan asked.

	Eri explained it quickly.

	"I say we just punch out the security," Kagura said.  
"They don't sound so tough."

	"We can take Harima home," Mikoto said.  

	Eri sighed.  "Best to avoid more trouble for today.  
Come on, everyone, let's go."

	"We can come visit your house tomorrow, Harima-
san," Chiyo said.

	"Yes," Sakaki said firmly.

	"Okay," Harima said.  "Let's go."
	
******************

	Harima stared at Karen, who was sitting on a writhing 
Tenma.  Karasuma sat nearby, playing a card game with 
Yakumo.  "What the hell?"

	"Kenji!  Where's Eri-chan!" Tenma yelped.

	"Eri-san had to go back to her house and I came here.  
Why is Karen sitting on you?"

	"I had to keep her from rushing out into the snow," 
Karen said.  "But if everyone's back, I'll head over to Eri's 
house."  She stood.  

	"So Eri's place is that close," Harima said 
thoughtfully.

	"Yeah," Tenma said, now free to get up.

	"Are you okay, Kenji-kun?" Yakumo asked.

	"I'm fine," he said to her, coming over and taking her 
hand.  "Don't worry about me."

	Tenma smiled.  "What a good boyfriend."

	Harima felt rather embarrassed at that; he'd been 
making out with Eri not all that long ago.  Fighting and 
kissing, they were good at both.  Eri always got mad over 
nothing.  Yakumo hardly ever got mad, but he didn't get the 
same...kick...from her as from Eri.  But she was so much 
easier to deal with.

	Yakumo worried about the emotions she was reading 
on him.  "You sure you're okay?"

	"I'm fine.  Can I join your game?  I want to kick 
Karasuma's ass."

	Karasuma shuffled the deck.  "Sure.  Tenma-chan can 
join us too.  Bye, Karen-san!"

	Tenma sat down next to Karasuma; they looked very 
intimate to Harima, which didn't help his mood, though 
they had to move apart once the game started, as they 
switched to spades, and partners had to sit opposite each 
other.

	Despite Kenji's inexperience and poor bidding skills, 
he and Yakumo proceded to crush Tenma and Karasuma 
like bugs, thanks to a combination of Tenma being busy 
fantasizing about Karasuma and Yakumo being able to read 
what cards Kenji had.  Though she tried to not do it, he was 
focusing on her so much, it was hard to avoid it.

	"Tenma-chan, you don't HAVE to kiss Karasuma after 
every hand," Harima said, idly.

	"Oh, am I?" she laughed nervously.

	Yakumo looked over at Tenma and got an eyeful of 
Tenma-Karasuma nookie from Tenma's thoughts.  Her eyes 
crossed and she fell over.

	"Yakumo-chan!" Tenma said, suddenly worried.

	Harima frowned.  "You okay, Yakumo-san?"

	Yakumo began to snore.

	Tenma sighed.  "Better put her to bed."

	Harima nodded, picking her up and carrying her off to 
bed.

***************

	"Eri-chan!" Imadori said.

	"Don't call me that!" Eri snapped.

	"You shouldn't be so harsh on him after you left him 
frozen in a giant snowball," Sara said.  "He could have 
gotten frostbite."  Her voice was gently chiding.

	"Hey, there's the pervert who invaded our classroom 
and groped Sakaki!" Kagura said, pointing at Imadori.

	There was a great and terrible silence.  

	Imadori could hear angels blowing the trumpets which 
herald the end of all things.  It's been a good life, he 
thought.  

	Sakaki shivered and stepped back, not wanting to be 
groped again.

	Then Osaka shouted, "DEATH!" and rushed at 
Imadori.

	Panicked, he ran; Tadakichi instinctively began to 
chase him.  Chiyo was taken along for the ride.  Kagura 
shouted, "PUNISH THE PERVERT!" and sprinted after 
them.

	"What did he do?" Eri asked.

	"He landed in our classroom and groped me," Sakaki 
said, shivering a bit more.

	Sara said, "Oh, when Gonzales-san flung him across 
town?"

	"I don't know what caused it, but it was not nice," 
Sakaki said, though she didn't seem all that vengeful to Eri.

	Eri frowned.  "Come on, Sakaki, let's kick his ass."  
Fondling giant women with huge breasts when he's 
engaged to me, she thought.  He'll pay for that.

	"Wait, violence is not the answer!" Sara said, running 
after them.

	Imadori was brought to bay in the laundry room.  He 
hurled a large basket at Osaka, who got trapped under it 
and couldn't figure out how to lift it off her.  The house's 
cat leaped off a dryer onto Tadakichi, confusing him; he 
slid and crashed into the wall; Chiyo ended up buried in 
laundry with her dog on her.

	Kagura leaped at Imadori, who flicked a box of soap 
at her; she ended up blinded, getting it in her eyes and ran 
to wash her eyes out.

	Unfortunately, this left Eri and Sakaki closing in on 
him.  He looked for an escape route; there was a window; 
he was halfway out it when Eri pulled him in and pinned 
him against the washer.

	"Okay, you can beat the crap out of this fool now," Eri 
said.

	Sakaki stared at him.  "It's not a very cute solution."

	"..."  Eri stared at Sakaki.  "Aren't you angry with 
him?"

	"I don't like violence," Sakaki said.

	"Help!  I've fallen and I can't get up!" Osaka said, 
stuck under the basket.

	Tadakichi tried to pull Chiyo out, but the cat was on 
his head, making it hard for him to navigate.  He ended up 
knocking more laundry hampers over on her.  

	Then Sakaki saw the cat.  "Cute kitty!"  She started to 
wander over.

	"Stop!" Eri said, tugging her arm.  "You have to 
punish Imadori for groping you!"

	Sara now stepped in.  "I have just the solution if you 
like cute solutions."

	Sakaki looked at her curiously.  Imadori felt a sudden 
stab of terror, as he realized what was coming.

****************

	Tani felt his nerves jangle.  They'd decided to go 
ahead and say hello to Yuri's parents while still relatively 
fresh, as they would likely explode the most.  He watched 
Yuri knock on the door of her parents' house.

	"Come in," a woman shouted.

	Yuri opened the door and stepped into the living room, 
followed by Tani, then Tae.  "Mother, Father, I'm back 
from Tokyo and..."

	Tani assessed the situation.  There was a middle-aged 
woman here, armed with a bow, quiver on her back, 
dressed in shooting-clothes.  Next to her stood a slightly 
older man with black hair pulled back and tied into a short 
tail in the samurai style, wearing archaic clothing and 
carrying a katana.  He recognized Yuri's parents, but this 
wasn't their normal style of dressing.  

	He had a bad feeling about this.

	"Step away from them, Yuri-chan," her father said.  
"We must destroy these hideous beasts who have led you 
astray."

	Tae put on her best smile.  "It's so nice to meet you," 
she said.  "Your cosplay is very good."

	"COSPLAY?", her father said.  "It is time for you 
monsters to die!"  He raised his sword high.

	Tani said, "You both have known me since I was little.  
I would never..."

	"We know all about the evil butterfly woman!  SHE 
DIES!"  Then both parents charged at Tae.  

	Yuri said, "What are you two DOING?"

	Tae turned and ran, as did Tani, with the parents in 
pursuit, followed by Yuri shouting at them to stop being 
stupid.

****************

	Yakumo was woken with a kiss.  Kenji was kneeling 
over her as she lay on the bed; he kissed her again and she 
reached up, pulling him down onto the bed with her.  They 
rolled around for a while, kissing fervently, while her hands 
clumsily roamed up and down his back.  Kenji had one 
hand on her butt, the other on her right breast, cupping it as 
he leaned down to kiss her.  She pushed it up into his hand, 
enjoying the feeling of it rubbing against her shirt.  

	She could feel his mind, and she opened hers to him, 
shared with him what she was feeling and tried to feel what 
he felt.  

	The sensation was surreal, like being a man and a 
woman at once, touching herself and being touched all at 
the same time.  She reached down and began to undo his 
pants, and he blushed.  Kenji was such a sweetie, really.

	"I want you," she said softly, somehow speaking 
around his tongue; perhaps it was mind to mind speech; she 
was starting to lose track of what he heard and what she 
did.

	"But I haven't...I mean, I'm not ready," he mumbled.  
"It wouldn't be fair."

	He was definitely ready; she could feel what his body 
wanted and he could feel hers.  	

	"I don't want fairness," she said.  "I want you."

	He blushed more at that.  "I still haven't decided," he 
began.

	"But I have," she said.  "Even if we never, again, I 
want you now."  Her boldness excited her; she was drawing 
his boldness into herself; maybe that was why he suddenly 
seemed so strangely tentative, almost feminine.

	The world seemed to ripple, and for a moment, she 
was a boy with girl-Harima kneeling over boy-Yakumo.  
And then it rippled again and they were back to normal 
with Yakumo feeling very strange and Harima looking 
utterly confused.  

	She reached out again, trying to feel the world, to 
understand what she'd just done.  Even as it happened 
again, scaring and exciting her at once...

	Karasuma walked in.  "Wake up, Yakumo, or dinner 
will get cold."  He cocked his head slightly.  "I don't think 
he's ready for that."

	Yakumo turned beet red as the world snapped back to 
normal and she wanted to just have a heart attack and die.

	And then the world audibly clicked and fell away, 
segment by segment into darkness, and she woke up feeling 
aroused and utterly embarrassed.

	She rubbed her forehead, wondering if the real thing 
was anything like that.  

***************

	Nothing like being thrown in jail on your first night 
back in town, Tani thought.  The police had found them all, 
assumed they were engaged in drunken holiday insanity, 
and tossed them in the drunk tank.

	At least he had company; he snuggled up to the ladies 
and decided to try and fall asleep, though it was hard to do 
so with Yuri's parents staring daggers into his head.

	At least visiting my parents tomorrow won't be THIS 
bad, he thought.

***********

	Sakaki sat on the couch, crushingly hugging Imadori, 
who was now dressed up as a cat-boy, while petting the 
house's patron cat with one hand.  She was lost in heaven.

	"Can't...breathe..." Imadori mumbled.  

	Eri, Chiyo-chan, Osaka, and Kagura sat nearby, 
playing cards and listening to music.

	Karen now entered and stared at Imadori.  
"You...you..."  She couldn't believe it.  Even Imadori 
couldn't be THIS shameless, snuggled up to another woman 
while his fiancee played cards with little kids.  (Well, 
Kagura wasn't little, but she was obviously the chaperone.  
Obviously.)

	"Karen, save me!" Imadori pleaded.

	Karen wavered, torn between anger at him and the 
feelings she still had in her heart.

	"I never thought I'd want AWAY from D," Imadori 
moaned as Sakaki tightened her grip and the tabby cat 
purred.

	D...he would have let me do that if I had large breasts, 
Karen thought.  He's probably just trying to tease me, she 
thought, feeling her anger get stronger.  "Save yourself," 
she said, fighting the urge to cry.  "I'm going to go make 
out with my boyfriend."

	She stormed off, leaving Imadori to his doom.

	"Isn't that cat so cute?" Eri said.

	"Very," Sakaki said, tightening her grip, unable to see 
the tears of an Imadori.

	Eri smiled; it's always good to make new friends.  

	And torment useless fiancees.

***************

	"Do we really need to smuggle you in inside a coffin?" 
Lala asked Tomo.  "Can't you just come in with us?  Karen 
did invite me to be in the band, so..."

	Tomo said, "See, I have this idea for a stage set with a 
mini-Stonehenge with dwarves dancing around it and..."

	"Been done," Lala said.

	"DAMMIT."

***************

	"We can't do that again," Suga said.

	"Yeah," Satsuki said.

	"Maybe we should get Sara to exorcise our room," 
Suga said.

	"It was just that stupid cat," Satsuki said.

	"So if we lock the cat outside..."

	"We'll be fine," Satsuki said.  "Right?"

	"Right."

	"Time to dispose of the cat."

****************			

	"You look like a mummy," Asou said to Suga.  "Was 
this deliberate?"

	"Cat hired a mercenary," Suga mumbled.  "I'm fine."

	Asou shook his head.  "If you say so."

	"See you later," Suga mumbled and stumbled off.

**************

	Hanai sat on the couch, watching TV with most of the 
group.  They were too tired for games, but not sleepy 
enough to go to bed yet.  

	Then he realized something was lurking over his 
shoulder as he sat with his arm around Mikoto.  He turned 
and saw Akira.  

	Akira said, "You did well."

	"What?" he asked in confusion.

	"You worked very hard today to find Imadori."

	"Yeah, but I didn't," he said gloomily.

	"The effort means more than the success.  It's better to 
try and fail than to not try," Akira said.

	"That's true," he said.

	Akira stood and stared at him, then ambled away to go 
sit by Nara again.

	What the hell was that about, Hanai wondered.

**************

	Asou had told himself to talk to Sara about everything 
before bed time, but instead, they were in bed, kissing 
again.  Which he definitely enjoyed, but it was getting in 
the way of a serious talk.

	But maybe he could spare a few more minutes before 
he cut things off...

***************

	Hanai was too tired to do anything sexy tonight.  As 
he lay in the dark with Mikoto, Miki, and Masahiro, he 
said, "Is it just me, or is Takano-san acting a little weird?"

	"I think she's very weird," Miki said.

	"I don't know her well enough to judge," Masahiro 
said.

	"Well, she does seem more...she's a lot happier lately," 
Mikoto said, idly stroking Hanai's side.  "And I think all the 
times I've told her to lay off you are finally paying off."

	"I guess so," Hanai said, gently playing with Mikoto's 
hair as they talked.  

	"I don't like her at all," Miki said, frowning.

	"She may seem cold, but she's been a very good friend 
to me," Mikoto said.  "It does take a while to realize she's 
just hiding her real feelings."

	"I guess," Miki said, sounding unconvinced.

	"Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve like 
you, dear," Masahiro said, kissing Miki's cheek gently.  
"Discretion has its place too."

	"I guess," Miki said.  She yawned.  "Well, hopefully, 
no disasters tomorrow."

	"Amen to that," Hanai said.  And then they all drifted 
off to sleep.

**************
	
	Yakumo told herself that nothing could have happened 
between Eri and Harima in all that time.  Surely, he 
couldn't come back here and act like this if he and she had, 
if they...

	She shook her head.  Press on with the plan.  

	Harima was busy changing into the slightly raggedy 
shirt and sweat pants he tended to sleep in at night.  
Yakumo watched him, feeling her body get excited, trying 
to steel herself to the task.

	As he finished, she said, "Kenji-kun, would you like 
to..."

	"So dead," he mumbled, falling over.  He was out 
before his head hit the pillow.

	She frowned, then took his pulse.  He felt fine.  
Probably just tired from the day, she thought.

	She sighed.  Tomorrow, maybe.  Hopefully.

******************

	"We ready?" Suga asked Satsuki, who now stepped 
out from hiding in the corner as she changed; she was 
wearing a nice teddy which was very high quality, but also 
clearly intended for someone actually much larger than her.  
Nevertheless, Suga found it very attractive, and he regretted 
he hadn't thought to bring anything fancy to change into.  
"You look great!"

	"I just hope Mom doesn't notice I took this," Satsuki 
mumbled.

	"You look fine," he said; he'd stripped down to his 
underwear himself.  He could see Satsuki checking him 
out.  He quickly checked the door; it was locked and he had 
a chair under it.  

	Then there was a rattling in the closet.  He frowned 
and went and checked; all his hanging clothing had fallen 
to the floor; he quickly picked it up and hung it up, then 
shut the closet door.  

	"Now, my dear Satsuki-chan..." he said, advancing on 
her.  With unusual shyness, she advanced towards him.  As 
their lips met, however, there was a sudden rattling and 
thumping in the closet.

	Suga sighed and went and saw all his clothing had 
fallen AGAIN.  "The hell?"

	They quickly put it all in place, then checked the 
hangers and the placement of the bar.  Standing with arms 
around each other, they watched the clothing for a few 
minutes, then closed the closet door.  They waited a few 
seconds, then threw the door open.  

	Everything was still hung up.

	He closed the door, then turned to Satsuki.  "Now, as I 
was saying, my dearest Satsuki, why don't we..."

	CRASH.

	"Fuck it," he said.  "Let it lie."

	They began to kiss, stumbling towards the bed, when 
they heard another crash.  Satsuki said, "My Christmas 
Dress!"

	She sprang over and found all her stuff on the floor.  
She put it back up; this time, she left the closet door open.  
"We should fake sex noises, see if they show themselves," 
she whispered.

	They began to make bump and grind noises.  The 
clothing remained hung up.  Suga frowned.  "They must be 
able to see we're faking.  Could this be a prank of 
Imadori?"

	"He went to bed early," Satsuki said.

	"Stuff it, let's just do it," he said.  "They won't try 
anything if we can see into the closet."

	A minute later, they were rolling around on the bed 
kissing when the clothing all fell in unison; they ignored it 
and kept with the smooching.

	Suga finally mustered the will to put a hand on 
Satsuki's left breast around the same time that the wall 
scroll over the bed fell off it onto them.  They tried to get it 
off, but only got tangled up in it, along with the sheets.  

	Soon, they were both pinned on the floor, trapped.  

	"Dammit," Suga said.  "HELP, SOMEONE, WE'RE 
STUCK!"

	No one answered.  

	"Keep yelling," Satsuki said.  "Someone will come 
eventually, right?"

	Suga hoped so, though trying to explain what had 
happened was going to be difficult.

**************

	Asou's hand was creeping up Sara's stomach when he 
finally mustered the will to stop.  "We...We should talk," he 
breathed.

	Sara looked flushed; she didn't want to stop, not now.  
But it was...yes, they should.  "I like kissing," she 
mumbled.

	"We just...I want to...but I know that you..."  Asou 
tried to figure out what to say.  "Should we really?" he 
finally managed to say.  

	"I could do anything with you," Sara said softly.  
"Even contradict myself."

	He laughed at that.  "Is it...your god won't get jealous, 
will he?"

	"God is love," Sara said firmly, hoping she wasn't just 
rationalizing what she wanted to do anyway.  "God 
wouldn't make us feel this way if he didn't want us to act on 
it."  Right?  She was trembling and uncertain, but she 
wanted it so much...

	Asou frowned.  "You don't have an oath of celibacy?"

	"I wouldn't be dating anyone if I did; too much 
temptation," Sara said.  "No consorting with demons, but 
you're more an angel than a demon."

	He just had a nervous feeling about this.  "So you're 
sure I won't be smote or anything?"

	"God brought us together," Sara said firmly, putting 
her hands on Asou's shoulder.  "He loves us and wants us 
to be happy."

	Asou gulped.  "Well, in that case..."

	He leaned in for another kiss just as they heard yelping 
and pleas for help from Suga's room.

	Asou sighed and went to the door; a big fat cat ran off 
right as he came out into the hallway with Sara in his wake.  
He pounded on Suga's door.  "Are you okay?"

	"WE'RE TRAPPED! HELP!" Suga shouted.

	Trapped?  Asou tried to open the door.  "Unlock the 
door!"

	"I can't stand up!  We're all tangled up and we can't get 
up!" Satsuki shouted.

	What the hell have they done this time?, he wondered.  
"We'll go find someone with a key!"

	"Hurry!"

	They went and found Nakamura, who was reading a 
book he hastily hid.  "What's wrong?" he asked.

	"Suga and Satsuki...I don't even know, but they're 
locked into their room and claim to be trapped."

	Nakamura frowned.  "Perhaps there are ghosts after all 
and not just the cat startling people."  He rose and went 
with them.

	Nakamura unlocked the door and inside, they found 
Suga and Satsuki wrapped in sheets and a wall scroll with 
the bed flipped over on top of them.  "..."

	Sara sniffed the air and frowned.  "The restless dead!"  
She sprinted back to her room.

	She returned in full regalia around the same time that 
Nakamura and Asou had Satsuki and Suga mostly 
unwrapped.  Sara stared at Satsuki's getup for a moment, 
and suddenly wished she'd thought of something like that.  

	Sara brandished a cross.  "SPIRITS OF THE DEAD, 
PRESENT YOURSELF!"

	There was a distinct lack of presentation.

	Sara frowned.  "Ghosts were here, but they fled.  I'm 
going to bless your room so they won't come back."

	"Thank you," Satsuki said, almost crying in 
frustration.

	Once everything was cleaned up, Nakamura pulled 
Sara aside in the hallway.  "I think we're going to have to 
exorcise the house tomorrow," he said.  "The deed 
indicated there's a lot of ghosts here."

	Sara nodded.  "I wonder why they targeted Suga-
sempai and Satsuki-san."

	"I don't know," Nakamura said.  "But maybe we can 
figure that out tomorrow.  Thank you for helping."

	Sara smiled.  "It's my duty."

	Nakamura headed out, and Sara and Asou went back 
to their room.

	Sara yawned.  "Well, now I'm tired.  We 
can...tomorrow."

	He nodded.  "Tomorrow."  He could wait a day.

******************

	Eri laid in bed, reading one of her sorcery books and 
wondering how much of it would actually work.  She didn't 
want to blow up the lodge, but she was going to have to 
experiment somewhere.

	Especially as it was simultaneously very technical and 
often not very clearly explained.  Lots of room for 
mistakes.

	Maybe I can find some way to turn lead into gold and 
bribe my way out of the engagement, she thought.

	Probably she'd just end up detonating one of her 
uncles, though.

	She wondered why Harima was suddenly interested in 
her family.  Not that she minded, but it didn't seem like 
him.

	Her parents would never let her marry him, but she 
didn't want to abandon her family, either.  Not that she 
wanted marriage right now.  But she wanted to have him as 
a boyfriend, at least.

	Well, he'd get a chance to probably meet some of her 
relatives at the party.  If they could sneak him in.  The 
female disguise wasn't an option unless he was really 
female...no, no best not to take any risks on that going 
awry.  And that would only be good if she was a guy 
herself for it.

	And she wasn't going down that road again if she 
could help it.

	Oh, you enjoyed it, Otoko-Eri whispered to her in her 
mind.  

	Shut up, she said.  Never again.

	She tugged her ear thoughtfully.  Maybe dye his hair, 
get him in through wearing a servant outfit...

	But if she couldn't do anything with him, not much 
point.

	She sighed and decided to sleep in hopes of getting 
guidance in a dream.  Or at least some rest.

******************

	The only bad thing about Tomo being gone all day 
was having her get home right as Sagano was going to go 
to sleep.  

	"I had a MOUNTAIN of fun," Tomo said.

	"That's nice," Sagano said.

	"Lala-chan and I are gonna KICK THE PUNK ASS 
BITCH'S PUNK ASS."  There was a pause.  "BITCH."

	"You didn't actually have to completely repeat 
yourself," Sagano mumbled.

	"Sure I did," Tomo said, stripping like a whirlwind 
and putting on her pajamas.  "You don't mind if Yomi 
comes over tomorrow, do you?"

	"Would you care if I did?"

	"Not really."

	Sagano sighed.  "Whatever."

	"And Lala-chan's coming too."

	"Make yourself at home," Sagano mumbled.

	"Good.  Now if your Mom complains, I can blame 
you," Tomo said.

	"Just don't eat the fruitcake, or I'll be pissed," Sagano 
said.

	"Fruitcake?"

	"The one in the freezer in the festive box marked 'Do 
Not Open:  Danger--Fruitcake.' "

	"Right, don't eat the fruitcake," Tomo said, resolving 
to share it with her friends.

	Sagano smiled a quiet smile; if anyone could have 
seen her, they would have found it quite unnatural.  

	Unfortunately for Tomo, Sagano was facing the wall 
and Tomo lacked X-Ray Vision, thankfully for the rest of 
us.

******************

	The next day, Harima skiied more carefully and had a 
lot of fun, though it wore him out.  It really wasn't hard to 
pick up once he actually listened to Shinichi and Kasumi.  
Imadori went and skiied on the easy slope on the far side of 
Eri's lodge, so he didn't have to deal with Imadori.  

	Yakumo tired out by lunch time, but Harima went 
back to ski more after lunch.  By dinner time, he was pretty 
worn out.  But he was satisfied; skiing was fun and it kept 
him from needing to think for a while.  

	He appreciated that.

*******************

	Flashing back in time, earlier that day, Sara suited up 
in her regalia and with Nakamura and Asou as escorts, she 
began going room to room, exorcising the rooms and 
scaring the cat.  This took all morning, but by lunch she 
finished.

	Sara frowned.  "No resistance by the ghosts.  They 
may have fled into the woods to hide a day or two."

	Asou looked out the window.  "Maybe they actually 
come here from some place in the woods to make trouble 
and don't normally live here?"

	"Maybe," Sara said.  "I'll try putting up some wards to 
keep them all out, then."

	"Let's do that, then," Asou said, and he went with her 
to do so.

****************

	Tani, Tae, and Yuri had decided it best to let Yuri's 
parents mellow a while; they went to go visit Tani's parents 
now, instead.

	Tani's mother hugged him upon answering the door.  
"My dear, sweet boy, actually bothering to come home for 
Christmas and see his loving mother for once."  It was hard 
to tell if she was happy or angry.  She was a short, sturdy 
woman with ash-blonde hair starting to go grey and thick 
glasses.  

	He hugged his mother.  "I love you too.  But you 
know I'm busy most of the time with my job."

	"You have a break every few months!  That's more 
than your father ever has and I don't have to wait months to 
see him," Tani's mother said.  

	"He LIVES WITH YOU," Tani protested.

	"Don't quibble with me," Tani's mother said.

	"This is my co-worker, Anegasaki Tae, our school 
nurse, and of course you know Yurippe," Tani said.

	"Of course I do," his mother said, hugging Yuri 
tightly.  "Even if she never visits either."

	Yuri laughed nervously.  "Well, running the bakery 
keeps me busy."

	"Not so busy you couldn't go off for weeks and 
abandon it," Tani's mother said mournfully.

	"I needed a vacation."

	Tani's mother brought them in and sat them down and 
put out tea and cakes.  She kneeled down and said, "Your 
poor parents are so worried about you, Yuri-chan."

	"So worried they tried to kill Tanisa and Taechin," 
Yuri said.  "And got us all thrown in the drunk tank."

	"They didn't even bother with a breath test," Tae 
grumbled.

	"So are you really keeping a harem of underaged 
women and teachers, Tani-chan?" his mother asked.

	"..."

	Yuri stared.

	Tae said, "Tanisa is a very moral teacher who never 
sleeps with his students," just a little primly.  "And Yuri is 
not underaged."

	Yuri said, "..."

	"Who told you something crazy like that?"  Tani 
asked.

	Yuri began drinking tea and gobbling cakes to try to 
settle her stomach.

	"Oh, everyone knows about it," Tani's mother said 
vaguely.  "Of course, being hundreds of miles away, you 
wouldn't know about what it's done to our reputation."  
Again, it was hard to read if she was just careless or angry.

	"Is Father at work?" Tani asked.

	"Yes, he works hard, instead of having a job that gives 
so many vacations like you," his mother said.

	Tani was now reminded of why he typically didn't 
come home during vacation time.  

****************

	"He is the GREAT SATAN," Lala said to Yomi and 
Tomo at Sagano's house.  They were having lunch together 
in the living room, while Sagano lurked in her room with 
Yuuki and Fuyuki, having lunch.

	"Where's your cousin?" Yomi asked.

	"Pouting because she's no fun," Tomo said.  "Or 
possibly having kinky three way sex with her boyfriend and 
girlfriend.  Or both."

	"WE ARE NOT HAVING KINKY THREE WAY 
SEX!" Sagano shouted.  More softly, she said, "Unless you 
guys want to," to her friends.

	Fuyuki gently punched her arm.  Yuuki just rolled her 
eyes.  She was getting used to this.

	Lala frowned, reminded of chances lost.  Not for 
three-way sex, but...

	"Okay, it's dessert time," Tomo said.

	"I really shouldn't have any dessert," Yomi said.  "This 
lunch was really filling."

	"It's fruitcake," Tomo said.

	Yomi's eyes lit up.  "Well, if I do extra crunches this 
evening, I should be fine with just a little."

	Tomo went and found the box, a festive red box 
covered with green holly and mistletoe painted onto it.  
There was a paper label which read 'Do Not Open:  
Danger--Fruitcake' in ink.  In crayon, someone had added 
'Tomo may not have any, ever'.  

	You can't fool me, Tomo thought.  She opened it and 
cut off three large slices for herself and her friends.  "Share 
and enjoy!"

	Sagano put her hand over her mouth so as to ensure 
she wouldn't start laughing maniacally, but this only caused 
her to pass out.

**************

	Akira tried to figure out some way to get Hanai alone.  
But he was always with Mikoto or Miki or someone else, 
and she didn't even want anyone to know she was alone 
with Hanai.  She could feel her jealousy burning inside her, 
and she wanted to put it out, to let go, to forget about him.  
But until she confessed it all, it wouldn't go away.  But she 
couldn't do it with people watching.

	Tenma was hugging Nara for some reason, and she 
felt a burst of jealousy and told herself to not be stupid.  
Tenma hugs everyone, after all.  She certainly wouldn't be 
out to steal Nara for herself, so as to have two boyfriends.  
Even if Nara and Tenma would look rather cute together, 
being so short and young looking for their age, and...

	Stop being paranoid, she told herself, finishing off her 
lunch.  "Kentarou-kun, kiss me," she told him.

	He turned and leaned over and kissed her firmly on the 
lips, wrapping his arms around her.  That made her feel 
better.

	Tenma said, "Ooji-kun, kiss me."

	Karasuma leaned over and quickly kissed her 
shoulder, then turned back to his food.

	Tenma vibrated, and Akira suppressed the urge to 
laugh.  "He did what you wanted."

	"Ooji-kun, kiss me on the lips," she said.  

	He leaned over and kissed her.  This resulted in him 
sharing his mouthful of mushroom and noodles and pork 
with her.  

	Tenma's eyes crossed.  "Not with your mouth full!"

	"You didn't say that," Akira said, smiling a little.

	"Ooji-kun, I want a kiss on the lips when you don't 
have any food in your mouth!"

	He sat quietly and ate.

	"RIGHT NOW," Tenma said.

	"Contradictory orders," he said.

	Nara had a hand over his mouth to fight the urge to 
chortle.

	Tenma vibrated, dropping her chopsticks.  Finally, she 
said, "Stop eating, empty your mouth, then kiss me firmly 
on the lips with just a little tongue."

	Karasuma said, "But my tongue isn't little."

	Nara fell over laughing.

	"STOP BEING SO LITERAL!" Tenma said.  "I just 
want a nice romantic kiss from you!"

	"Akira, you must kiss Tenma while I finish eating," 
Karasuma said.

	"WHAT?" Tenma said.

	"My tongue is smaller than Karasuma-san's," Akira 
said, deadpan.

	"But...the food isn't going anywhere!"

	"It gets cold," Karasuma said.

	Tenma took it and clutched it to her chest.  "This will 
keep it warm!"

	Karasuma blinked, then came over and kissed Tenma 
passionately.  This, of course, spilled the mushrooms, pork, 
and noodles all over her.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

	"I just did what you asked," Karasuma said, puzzled.

	At least it wasn't curry, Tenma thought.   

***************

	 Tomo, Yomi, and Lala lay on the floor, moaning fit to 
die.  Tomo dry-heaved again.  "Da... da.... can't... even... 
curse..."

	Sagano now came out.  "I see you ate the fruitcake 
that isn't supposed to be eaten."

	"So tasty..." Yomi moaned.

	"That fruitcake is passed from family to family among 
our relatives each year, waiting for some fool to finally 
finish it off.  Looks like I win the family pool.  SWEET," 
Sagano said.

	"You...tricked...me..." Tomo said, crawling towards 
Sagano like a terminator running out of battery power.

	"Hey, it had a warning label.  But did you listen?  
NOOOO.  Also, I signed you up to take care of your sister 
the snotrag tonight."

	"NOOOO!!!!!!" Tomo bellowed, then passed out from 
the exertion.

	"VICTORY IS MINE!" Sagano said, forgetting she 
had now given Lala reason to maim her.

	Later.

	When Lala's limbs were working.

**************

	Harima was about to ski with Yakumo, when a 
snowmobile came roaring up the slope.  Osaka was 
pretending to drive it, while Sakaki actually drove it; 
Kagura was being pulled by it, and Tadakichi ran alongside 
it, carrying Chiyo-chan.

	"Hi, Harima-san!  We came to visit you," Chiyo-chan 
said.  

	"Hi," Sakaki said to Harima.

	Yakumo looked at her, then at Harima, and felt...she 
wanted him.  Or something like that.  She frowned.  
Another woman after my Kenji.

	"Yo," Harima said.  "Come for your lesson, Sakaki-
san?"

	"Yes," she said.

	"I'm here to prove you are a FRAUD!", Kagura said, 
pointing at Harima.

	Yakumo frowned at that.  "He is not.  He really talks 
to animals."

	"And I suppose you read minds," Kagura said 
skeptically.

	"Yes," Yakumo said.  "I do."

	"Read my mind, then!" Kagura said, then began 
thinking of periwinkles.

	"You're thinking of..."  Yakumo stared.  
"Periwinkles."

	"You could have guessed that!"

	"Read my mind!" Osaka said, running up to her.

	Yakumo peered at her intently...she reached and 
reached, but she couldn't find anything, just a void, trying 
to draw her in...

	Yakumo jumped slightly.  "Are you thinking?  I can't 
find any thoughts."

	"Wow, you're right!" Osaka said.

	Tenma now came up and Kagura pointed at her with a 
finger.  "And I suppose you're psychic too!"

	"Yes," Tenma said.

	"..."

	Tenma picked up one of her ski poles and proceeded 
to stroke it with one finger, slowly bending it around into a 
circle.  "Taa-daa!"

	"..."

	"But, oneechan, how are you going to ski with your 
pole like that?" Yakumo asked.

	Tenma proceeded to unbend it, though now it was 
kind of wavy in shape.

	"Is everyone in this building a psychic?" Kagura asked 
nervously.

	"Depends on the definition," Karasuma said.

	"Pretty much," Tenma said.

	I'm surrounded by weirdos, Kagura thought.  "Sakaki-
san, we'd better get out of here before they try to sacrifice 
us to their dark gods or something!"

	Sakaki came over to Harima instead.  "I want to 
learn."
	
	"Sure," he said.  "I guess we'll have to work with 
Tadakichi-san, as none of my friends came with me."

	"Friends?" Sakaki asked, looking around.

	"Animal friends," Harima said.

	"I want to learn too," Yakumo said, taking Harima's 
arm.

	He laughed nervously.  "Alright."

	"I wouldn't mind learning," Tenma said.

	"And me!" Chiyo-chan said.

	Harima soon found himself surrounded by a flock of 
people wanting to learn.  This must be what being a teacher 
feels like, he thought.  "Well, let's go inside where it's 
warmer, then," he said.  "And get started."

**************

	A groggy Suga and Satsuki stumbled up to Sara.  
"Sorry we slept through so much of the day.  Anything we 
can do to help CRUSH those damn ghosts?"

	Sara said, "I suggest we all share a room tonight, so 
that if the ghosts come, I will be right there to strike."

	Satsuki nodded.  "That's reasonable."

	"And for now, you can help me put up these wards."

	They got back to work.
	
**************

	Imadori's phone rang.  "Hello?" he asked.

	"Hi, this is Yukari-chan!," Yukari said.  "I hear you're 
out here skiing in the mountains with us!"

	"Yeah, I'm out here with some friends," he said.

	"How about if I come pick you up and you hang out 
with Nyamo-chan and I a while?  She's got a date and being 
a fourth wheel SUCKS," Yukari said.

	"I'm feeling kind of sickly at the moment after being 
left in a giant snowball for hours, but how about if you 
come to the big Christmas Party we're going to have here?" 
Imadori said.  "It's going to be a lot of fun and virtually 
infinite free alcohol."

	"You are the best of all men, Kyousuke-kun.  Don't 
ever change.  INFINITE FREE ALCOHOL."  Yukari was 
in heaven.  "I'm going to need directions."

	They confabulated for a while, and once they worked 
out the details, they chatted a bit more, then hung up.  This 
should be fun, Imadori thought.  Yukari-chan's pretty cool, 
should keep the party from dragging.  And we can talk 
English at each other and look intellectual.  Excellent.

*******************		

	Harima sat on the floor by Tadakichi, with people 
clustered around him, trying to interpret Tadakichi's 
barking.  Unfortunately, Harima really didn't understand 
how his own ability worked to try to teach it, other than to 
tell people they have to feel the heart of the animal to speak 
to it.

	Chiyo-chan tried hugging Tadakichi and listening to 
his heart beat.

	Yakumo tried reaching for Tadakichi's thoughts.  She 
could see them, but they were hard to follow, a jumble of 
emotions and images that made her suddenly feel energetic, 
but which she couldn't quite puzzle out.

	Kagura listened to the barking and thought darkly 
about fraud laws.

	Sakaki put a hand on Tadakichi and tried to think like 
a dog.  Soon, she was on all fours, panting, trying to join 
herself to the dog-mind.  

	Osaka stared intently into Tadakichi's eyes.  He 
stopped barking and stared back at her intensely.

	"They can't understand you if you don't speak," 
Harima said softly.

	Tenma focused her mind on Tadakichi, straining to try 
to hear his every word.  It wasn't working, but suddenly, 
Tadakichi flew up into the air.

	Kagura's jaw dropped; Chiyo-chan clung to him 
desperately.  

	Tadakichi said in confusion, "Am I a bird now?"

	Tenma said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"  She tried to land 
him but he fell on her and Osaka; their heads collided with 
Tadakichi's and Chiyo-chan's and they passed out.

	"Tenma-chan!" Harima said frantically, feeling 
horrible.

	"Osaka-chan!" Kagura said.

	"Woof," Sakaki said thoughtfully.

	They managed to get Tadakichi off of the two of them; 
Harima picked up Tenma; Kagura picked up Chiyo-chan 
and Osaka.

	Tenma recovered quickly.  "My head hurts," she said.  
Harima and Yakumo understood her, but everyone else 
heard her barking.

	"I feel weird," Chiyo-chan said.  Everyone heard her 
barking as well.  

	"..."  Osaka said as she recovered; it came out as a dog 
whimper.

	"What was that?" Tadakichi asked.  His dog voice was 
very strange, like a dog set of vocal cords trying to speak 
Japanese, but not having the physical necessities.  
Nevertheless...

	"Hey, I understood that!" Chiyo-chan barked, hugging 
him.

	"I'm sorry," Tenma barked.  "My fault."

	"Whoooaaaahhh..." Osaka barked.

	"This is a joke, right?" Kagura said dubiously.

	Sakaki began barking at Tadakichi.

	"Yes, it's nice to meet you," Tadakichi said to Sakaki, 
who could almost understand him.  She tried to make her 
heart align more to him.

	Karasuma looked amused.

	Harima said, "You're all barking!"

	"I am?" Osaka barked.

	Yakumo could grasp Tadakichi's thoughts better; they 
seemed more human-like to her now.  

	"Did they all switch minds with him or something?  I 
can almost understand him," Kagura said.  This creeped her 
out a little.

	"It's got to be some variant of head trauma whacky 
amnesia," Kagura said thoughtfully.  "So if we just bash 
their heads together..."

	Sakaki barked warningly at Kagura for saying that.

	"Wait, how did you go all dog on us?" Kagura said.  
"Is everyone turning into a dog but me?"

	Karasuma chose this moment to start barking like a 
dog and going around on all fours.

	"It's a dog zombie plague!" Kagura said, getting to her 
feet.  "Run, if you aren't infected yet, run!"  She took off 
running with Karasuma chasing her.

	Tenma said, "...", staring, then ran off after Karasuma, 
also barking.

	Chasing seemed the thing to do, so soon the halls 
echoed with the sound of barking and running people.  	

	Only Tadakichi and Yakumo stayed behind.  
Tadakichi asked, "Are they insane?"

	Yakumo replied, "Yes."

	"Nap, then."  He curled up and went to sleep, so 
Yakumo took off after the others.

*******************

	"I can take her," Jenny said.  "She doesn't look too 
strong to me."

	Harry began to laugh.  "You're crazy, sister."

	"I'm really not that impressive," Karen said modestly.

	"Let's arm wrestle, then," Jenny said.  She'd come over 
to Eri-land to visit her brother.  

	They got to a table.  "Three...two...one...go," Harry 
said.

	WHAM, Karen won the first round.

	The second time, she let it go on a while before 
winning.

	The third time, Jenny threw everything into it that she 
had.  

	This meant she lasted about five seconds.

	"Damn, you're strong.  How do you not break my 
brother in half?" Jenny asked.

	"I'm very gentle, really," Karen said, embarrassed.

	"Look..."  Jenny looked over at Harry.  "Harry, go beat 
someone up.  I have to talk to your girlfriend."

	He looked worried at that.  "About?"

	"Girl stuff.  Vamoose."

	Harry went off to ski, while Jenny took Karen outside 
to the other side of the lodge.

	"Look, my brother is pretty much your normal teenage 
boy, which means he's a macho idiot driven by his gonads.  
You seem like a really nice girl, so I have to warn you that 
while he won't mean to hurt you, he's probably gonna do a 
lot of stupid shit.  It's just what boys his age do."

	"Harry's much more mature than my last boyfriend," 
Karen said, sighing.  "He's been very good to me."

	"He tried to push you into sex yet?" Jenny asked.

	"It was my idea," Karen mumbled, blushing.

	"..."

	"Nice girls do too," Karen mumbled.

	"Well, shit.  In that case, I expect you can handle him.  
Remember, the craving for sex is a leash you can use.  If 
you use it too much, they may go looking elsewhere, 
though," Jenny said.  "Use it as in 'use denial of it', that is."

	Karen nodded.

	"So did you seduce him or..."

	"It's complicated," Karen said.  "But he lets me forget 
all my problems."

	"Well, good.  You two practice fighting together?"

	"Some, yeah," Karen said.

	"Good.  Just remember, he's a teenage boy and thinks 
with his hormones.  Though he's got nothing on some 
people."  She shook her head.

	"I know," Karen said.  "My last boyfriend was much 
more...driven...than Harry."

	"Daaaaamn," Jenny said.  "Who?"

	"Imadori," Karen said.

	"Before the engagement thing?"

	"Yes," Karen said softly.

	"Well, some people love money."  She shook her head 
sadly.  "Anyway, any time you need Harry's ass kicked, call 
me, I'll bust him up for you."

	Karen laughed softly.  "I'll remember that."

	"Okay, that's everything," Jenny said.  "Good luck 
with Harry; you'll need it."

***************	

	Akira, Nara, Mikoto, and Hanai all entered at once; 
Akira tried to muster the strength to ask to talk to Hanai in 
private for a minute.  "Hanai-san," she said.  "I need to..."

	Then Kagura rounded the corner.  "EVERYONE'S 
TURNING INTO A DOG!  DON'T LET THEM BONK 
YOUR HEAD WITH THEIRS!"

	A horde of people, mostly acting like dogs to some 
degree for no good reason, rounded the corner, advancing 
like a tide.

	Mikoto grabbed the doorframe and flipped up to stand 
on top of the lip of it.

	Akira leaped up with Nara to cling to the ceiling; 
seeing a stunned Hanai standing there waiting to be 
crushed, she quickly threw down her grappling line, 
snagged him and pulled him out of the way of the mob.

	"THE HELL?" Hanai asked.

	Yakumo paused and said, "A joke's gone way out of 
hand," as she brought up the rear of the pack.

	"As Class Representative, I order you all to STOP," 
Hanai bellowed.

	The chase scene halted quickly as Kagura ran out the 
door and everyone else piled up in the doorway, smacking 
heads with each other.

	Everyone got up; Sakaki looked very embarrassed.

	Tenma said, "It's a good thing Osaka-san and I have 
thick skulls."

	"Missed all my vital spots," Osaka said, patting her 
head.

	"Are you all alright?" Mikoto asked, worriedly.

	Akira carefully lowered Hanai to the ground, then 
jumped down with Nara.  "Are you alright?" she asked.

	He blinked.  "I'm fine."

	"Good," she said, trying to muster her will again.

	"I think I've had enough lessons for one day," Chiyo-
chan said, clutching her head.

	Harima sighed.  I am a failure as a teacher, he thought.

	Yakumo patted his arm.  "I think I understand better 
now.  Thank you."

	He brightened up a little.  Tenma said to him, "You 
did well, it's our fault, Kenji-san."

	"Let's go try something more peaceful," Harima said.  

	"Like hand-to-hand combat?" Akira asked.

	"Something like that," he said, leading his mob off.  
Hanai and Mikoto tagged along, and Akira felt her will 
break.  

	She'd have to try again later.

***************

	"He's a student!" Nyamo said to Yukari.

	"He's HOT and cute and clever and fun," Yukari said.  

	"You're just jealous I have a boyfriend," Yukari 
continued, tossing her head.

	"Hey, I'm seeing a guy myself.  And he's not HALF 
MY AGE," Nyamo said.

	"I think he's gay," Yukari-sensei said.  "What kind of 
real man uses that much hairspray?"

	"The kind who is standing right behind you," Umino 
said.

	"Ahahahaha," Yukari-sensei said nervously.  Umino 
was tall and muscular and had already shown he could 
break a large branch over his knee.

	"Sometimes, you just have to let people self destruct," 
Umino said to Nyamo, coming over to kiss her cheek.

	"Did she tell you about her old boyfriend who could 
only get off if she asphyxiated him with white bread?" 
Yukari asked crankily.

	"Wouldn't it tear?" Umino asked.

	Nyamo decided to change the subject before this 
became a really long discussion of the physics of trying to 
breathe through white bread.  Umino likely wouldn't be 
satisfied until he sat down and designed a better way to 
choke people with white bread, and she really wanted to 
forget that boyfriend ever happened.  "Let's hit the slopes."

	"Alright," Umino said.

	"Fine," Yukari said crankily.  "I'm still going whether 
you do or not."

	"Then we'd better go to keep you out of trouble," 
Nyamo said.  Even if such a thing is easier said than done.

**************

	Akira sat, focusing her will.  She would go and tell 
Hanai and get it off her chest before she went crazy.  
Today.  

	She went over to him as he was getting ready to go out 
and ski again.  "Hanai," she said.

	"Yes?" he asked, looking perhaps a little nervous.

	"I need to..." she began.

	Then Mikoto came racing around the corner and 
embraced Hanai.  "I win!" she said.

	Tenma, Osaka, Chiyo-chan, Kagura, Sakaki, Miki, 
Kasumi, and Harima came racing around the corner as well 
and couldn't stop, slamming into Hanai and Mikoto and 
ending up sprawled on the floor.

	Damnation, Akira thought.  She turned and walked 
away as Hanai tried to recover his consciousness.

****************

	"How did it go?" Nara asked.

	"An impromptu massive pileup interrupted me," Akira 
said flatly.

	"Hmm, I'll see if I can come up with some way to pull 
him aside for you," Nara said.  

	"Thank you," she said softly staring at the floor.

	He put a hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.  
"You'll get your chance."

	"I hope so.  While my sanity lasts."

****************

	Mikoto raced Eri down the slope; at first, Mikoto was 
in the lead, but then Eri took a small jump off a sharp drop 
and managed to wiggle ahead.  Once she got the lead, she 
aggressively blocked Mikoto, keeping her from pulling 
ahead again.

	Finally, they reached the bottom and Eri stretched.  
"Victory!" she crowed.

	Mikoto smiled a little.  "Victory.  You looking 
forwards to the party?"

	"Yes, no..."  She sighed.  "I wish Kenji could come, 
but I can't figure out a way to get him in."

	"Since his Harkenko cover is blown," Mikoto said.  
She sighed.  "I tried to smuggle him into your house some 
times."

	"Thank you," Eri said.  "I'm going to see if I can get 
some of my relatives to pressure my parents to end this."  
She sighed.  "I don't know what else to do."

	"What...so what exactly is going on with you three?" 
Mikoto asked.

	"Well, it would be me taking Kenji for myself if my 
parents didn't completely disapprove and hadn't nailed me 
to the cross of Imadori engagement," Eri said.  "But 
basically, we both want him and he's trying to get over 
Tenma."

	Mikoto's eyes widened a little.  "So you're fighting 
over him."

	"Yes," Eri said.  "But I'm going to win.  I always win."  
She grinned a little ferally.

	"You shouldn't break Yakumo's heart just to..." 
Mikoto began.

	"One, I love Kenji.  That's why I'm doing this.  
Yakumo's only going to get hurt because she doesn't realize 
she's not what he needs.  And secondly, you're in not much 
of a position to criticize me trying to get a boyfriend, just 
one, when you're sleeping with two guys regularly."  Eri's 
voice was harsh.

	"I'm not...we're not...it's not like that," Mikoto 
mumbled, embarrassed.

	"You can do whatever makes you happy," Eri said.  
"Don't tell me I can't like the boy I like, even if he makes 
me CRAZY sometimes."

	Mikoto stared up at the sky.  "I just don't want to see 
Tenma get hurt.  Or Yakumo."

	"It's too late now," Eri said.  "If I back off, I get hurt.  
Do you want that?"

	"No," Mikoto said softly.

	"Well, then," Eri said.  "Want to race again?"

	"Sure," Mikoto said.  It would let her not worry about 
this for a while.

*****************

	Tani's father finally joined everyone for dinner.  He 
was tall and thin, almost gaunt, with the same rumpled 
brown hair as his son, though streaked with grey.  "Mmm, 
that you, son?"

	"Yes, Father," Tani said, bowing.  "This is my co-
worker, Anegasaki Tae, our school nurse, and you know 
Yurippe, of course."

	Tani's father squinted at Yuri.  "Didn't you get hacked 
to death in Tokyo or something?"

	"No," Yuri said.

	"Hmm, never could rely on Moeko to keep anything 
straight," Tani's father said.

	Moeko, his mother, said, "I never said she _died_."

	"What, they only hacked her halfway to death?" Tani's 
father asked.  

	"I'm just fine.  No one has hacked me to death," Yuri 
said.

	"I am a nurse, after all," Tae said.

	"I suppose you're not really a gaijin either, then," 
Tani's father said, now sitting down finally at the table with 
everyone.  There was a large spread of fish, noodles, and 
vegetables.  

	"Not at all," Tae said.  "There are a few foreigners at 
our school, though."

	Tani's father looked around.  "Why isn't anyone 
eating?"

	"We're waiting for you, dear," Moeko said.

	"Oh.  Well, eat.  If I learned anything in the army, it's 
to eat food when you have the chance."  He dug in with a 
will.

	They ate for a while, then Tani's father asked, "Son, 
have you really been trading grades for sex?"

	"What kind of crazy rumor is that?" Tani asked in 
horror.  "Who told you that?"

	"Well, Yuri's parents were saying..." Moeko began.

	"Mom, you need to learn to be less gullible," Tani 
said.

	"THERE ARE EVIL FAERIES IN MY MELON 
PATCH AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT," his mother 
suddenly shouted.

	"I'm sure there are no evil faeries in your melon 
patch," Yuri said.  "Didn't we stay there three nights in a 
row looking for them and see nothing?"

	"They're tricksy," Moeko muttered.  She elbowed her 
husband.  "Back me up."

	"Dear, I told you, I had the insect man spray for 
faeries," Tani's father said patiently, putting down his bowl 
as he spoke, then picking it back up and resuming, eating.

	Tae wondered, idly, if there were faeries.  She'd seen 
stranger things since Yuri's arrival in Tokyo.  "We can go 
look tonight after dinner."

	"That's right nice of you.  Don't forget to turn your 
clothing inside out," Moeko said, getting more broccoli.

	They ate quietly a little while, then Tani's father said, 
"So is it true you're seeing both of these young ladies?"

	"Yes," Tani said.

	"You been to have your head examined yet?" Tani's 
father continued.  "One woman is as much as any sane man 
can handle."

	"I am not crazy!" Tani said, setting his bowl down.  
"We're in love, and that's that."  I feel like a teenager again, 
he thought.  And not in a good way.

	Yuri smiled nervously.  "It's kind of scary sometimes, 
but wonderful."

	"Honey, it's not wise to string two women along at 
once," Tani's mother said.  "Let alone invite them both to 
dinner like some sitcom."

	"Oh, we're seeing each other too," Tae said, rising, 
going over, and kissing Yuri firmly.

	Tani's father stared, flushed, and fainted.  

	Moeko said, "Wicked incest!"  She began throwing 
beans at Tae.

	"Incest?  We're not related!" Tae said.  Her eyes 
flashed.  "And it's a perfectly natural thing."

	"Wicked...whatever it is!" Moeko said, continuing to 
throw beans.

	Tae began throwing beans back, while Yuri took 
cover.

	Tani's father now sat back up and picked up his food 
as if nothing had happened, and started eating.  After a few 
minutes, he said, "Is this some Tokyo custom?"

	"Father, whether or not you and Mother approve of it, 
I'm going to continue this relationship."

	"Relationship?" Tani's father asked.

	If there was any hometown custom Tani hated, it was 
the tendency of his hometown's people to 'forget' things 
they didn't want to know.  

	Tani sighed.  "Look, mother, faeries in the garden!"

	"DAMN FAERIES!"  She ran to the door, grabbed a 
broom, and sprinted full tilt out into the snowy backyard.

	Tani sighed.  "Look, father, I wanted you to meet my 
girlfriends."

	"You have a girlfriend?" his father asked.

	"Yes," Tani said tightly.

	"Hot damn, I won the pool!  We'll have high quality 
meat for the Christmas this year!" his father began to crow.

	"There's a betting pool?" Yuri asked weakly.

	"Have you had sex?  I get double if you have," Tani's 
father said.

	"TAKE THAT FAERIES!"

	Tae wondered idly if the entire town was insane or if 
she was just 'lucky'.
 
*****************

	Sara laid on her futon on the floor and listened.  She 
could hear an odd noise, the sound of claws moving along.  
And she could feel the dead approaching.  Had they 
manifested in some hideous clawed form?

	She brushed Asou's arm, and he readied the sword 
she'd blessed for him.  She also reached up and gently 
squeezed Satsuki's hand, the signal for Satsuki and Suga to 
ready the holy water and crosses.  

	The dead approached the door.  

	Closer.

	Closer.

	Closer.

	And then they went past the door and down the 
hallway.

	Further.

	Further.

	Sara blinked.  "What, it's moving on?"

	"Maybe it sensed your holiness and fled," Asou said.

	Sara got up, went over, and opened the door.  There 
was nothing to be seen in the hallway, though something 
had bumped a small table and knocked the photos on it 
over.

	She came back.  "Well, we can sleep here, just in 
case."

	"Thank you," Satsuki said.  "I could do with a peaceful 
night."

	No nookie for me tonight, I guess, Suga thought.  But 
he didn't protest too hard.

***********

	Yakumo paced nervously.  Tonight, she hoped 
everything would come together.  But Kenji had been 
looking tired, and he might just pass out again before she 
could try anything.

	Maybe I should wait for the morning, she thought.  
But then everyone will want us to eat and I'll need to cook 
and...

	She sighed.  I have to do something, she thought.

	But what?  She wasn't sure.

	Her thoughts were interrupted by Harima coming in.  
"Hey, Yakumo," he said softly.

	"Did you have a good time today?"

	"I had a lot of fun," Harima said, though he sighed.  
"My teaching attempt didn't go too well."

	"It went well for me," Yakumo said softly, coming 
over to him.

	He sat down on the bed, hugging her.  "Thank you.  
I'm thinking we should probably work on our manga some 
tomorrow, so we don't get too behind."

	Yakumo nodded.  "Okay."

	They talked about plans for the manga for a while, and 
she enjoyed being close to him.  Finally, he yawned.  "I'd 
better go to bed," he said.

	She tried to muster her will.  "Want to make out a 
while?" she finally blurted out.

	Harima thought about it.  After the cave, he really did 
owe Yakumo some making out.  Though sleeping with her 
had to count some, as he hadn't done that with Eri for a 
while.

	Onna-Harima carefully toted up the various 
obligations and informed him he owed Yakumo at least two 
good hours of making out.

	But I don't think I can last that long, he told Onna-
Harima.

	Do what you can, make up the deficit later, she told 
him.

	"Sure," he said softly, pulling her up into his lap and 
kissing her softly, wrapping his arms around her.  

	Yakumo lost herself in his embrace, his touch, letting 
her defenses down, and busying herself in enjoying the 
experience.  

	Harima took it nice and easy with her, going slowly, 
feeling her becoming more excited as they made out, trying 
to make it last, so as to give her the time that he owed her.

	She wants you to make love to her, Onna-Harima 
announced.

	What?  She does?, Harima asked.

	Are you blind?  She's got it for you bad, Onna-Harima 
said.  But unless you're willing to commit to just her, you 
can't do it.

	But...she...Onna-Harima was right.  It would be 
entirely monkeyesque like Hanai to try and sleep with both 
of them.  

	Also, he wasn't sure exactly of everything to do, 
really.

	Don't ask me, Onna-Harima said.  I'm better at making 
love to a man than a woman, though I can try and 
improvise.

	Harima's eyes crossed.  He couldn't...but he didn't 
want to stop making out.  It felt so good...

	I'm terrible, he thought.  I'm a total monkey.  But I 
can't stop or I'll hurt Yakumo's feelings.  Yeah, I owe it to 
her, he thought.

	You just have to get them to want to make out with 
each other, and then it'll all be fine, Onna-Harima said.

	That would be complete monkey behavior!, Harima 
said.  It wouldn't be right.

	Well, someone's going to get hurt, otherwise, Onna-
Harima told him.

	He frowned at that inside his mind.  He didn't want to 
hurt either of them.  He liked both of them, but...  

	"What's wrong?" Yakumo asked softly, kissing his 
lips.  

	"I just...it isn't fair to you, when I can't make up my 
mind," Harima said.  "I'm a stupid monkey."  He stared at 
the floor.

	Steady, she told herself.  Push him and he'll run away 
again.  "You care for me, don't you?" she asked softly.

	"Yes," he said.

	"I won't wait forever, but so long as you hold me and 
you...care for me, I can wait a little for you to decide.  I 
know it can't be easy getting over my sister; I can feel it in 
you now.  But I'm going to make you forget her," Yakumo 
said, impressed with her own boldness.  She tightened her 
embrace, slowly sliding a hand down his back, along his 
spine.  

	Her sudden strength surprised him and he felt a strong 
thrill at it.  He pulled her in close and began to kiss her 
again, hands roaming across her body, feeling the heat of 
her presence.  

	They were well into it when they heard Mikoto's voice 
echo across the land.  "Oh....YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	This prompted a wave of shouting across the house to 
'Keep it down!'

	 Harima laughed softly.  "Some people get loud," he 
said, smiling.

	"Yes," she said, leaning in for a kiss.

	Harima gave a great yawn.  "We really should make 
sure we get enough..."

	"OH BABY, YEAH!" Miki now shrieked.

	This triggered another round of 'KEEP IT DOWN'.

	Harima began to laugh again, and so did Yakumo.  
Finally, Harima said, "Well, stuff it, we can sleep in."

	They made out a little while longer, until...

	"OH YES, OH BABY YES!" Nara yelled.  

	Harima began to laugh hysterically.  Yakumo tried to 
read his mind to see why, and got an image of Nara in drag 
with Akira in boy's clothing, and his infectious laughter led 
her to begin laughing as well.

	Things got worse as more screaming began coming 
from other rooms.

	"FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO!!!!" 
Tenma yelled.

	"DO IT FOR ENGLAND!" Jenny screamed out.

	"MY PRECIOUS!!!!!" burbled Kasumi loudly.

	Harima and Yakumo were laughing incoherently, and 
there was laughter leaking through the walls.

	"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!"

	"KNIGHT SABRES, GO!"

	"MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!!!!"

	"GOOD GRIEF, CHARLIE BROWN!"

	Soon there was nothing but the shouting of slogans 
and the sound of laughter, until everyone wore themselves 
out and slowly slid into slumber.

***************

	"They normally aren't this bad," Yuri said to Tae as 
they laid together on futons in the guest room.  Tani had 
been banished by his parents to his old room.

	"I would hope not," Tae said, sighing.

	"It would probably be easier to just avoid my parents 
and stay here, as I can take insanity easier than violence 
against you two," Yuri said.

	"We have to give it at least one more try," Tae said, 
staring at the ceiling and pulling Yuri a little closer.  
"Maybe after we go see the lawyer in the morning."

	Yuri nodded.  "I want to get that all set up before my 
parents try anything too crazy."  She sighed.  "I didn't think 
they'd get violent."

	"They're probably just not good at expressing they're 
worried about you and mad because you didn't contact 
them," Tae said.

	Yuri sighed, staring at the ceiling.  "Well, I knew there 
would be fighting and I just didn't want it."

	"Well, in for a dollar and all that," Tae said.  She 
kissed Yuri's cheek.  "I promise my parents will be easier to 
deal with."

	I hope so, Yuri thought.  They couldn't be any worse, 
anyway.

***************

	"Just don't cause any trouble until the concert is over," 
Sagano said to Lala as they all waited at the train station the 
next morning.

	"You can't tell me what to do," Lala said, hands on her 
hips.

	"Yes, I can.  This is our concert trip, and if you disrupt 
our band's best chance to shine, I will make you regret it," 
Sagano said firmly.  She turned to Tomo.  "This goes twice 
for you."

	"I'll be busy dancing during the concert; I can kill 
Imadori afterwards," Tomo said.

	Tomo's odd reasonableness made Sagano worry far 
more than Lala's stubborn resistance.

*****************

	Harima was glad Yakumo was still asleep.  It had 
suddenly hit him that he hadn't wrapped his presents or 
anything.  He didn't even have any wrapping paper.  If he 
could go to town...but that meant either calling Harry or 
begging one of the members of Hanai's kinky harem to 
drive him into town.

	Well, after all the yelling, they owed him one.  

	He was so lost in thought, he wandered into the master 
bedroom without even bothering to knock.  "I need 
someone to take me into town," he said.

	Miki shrieked and threw a shoe at him, which he 
parried without even thinking about it.  She was in bed, 
topless and yawning, but with the sheets covering the lower 
half of her body.  Masahiro was still asleep, curled up to 
her.  Hanai could not be seen, but Mikoto had just come out 
of the bathroom, clad only in a towel.

	"Knock!" she said urgently at Harima as Miki pulled 
the sheets up.

	Harima blinked, then realized what he'd seen and 
turned red.  He turned around, back to them.  "I need a ride 
into town to get some stuff this morning."

	"Fine, I can take you later when I HAVE CLOTHING 
ON.  Do you normally run around mostly naked to walk in 
on people who are naked?" Miki demanded.

	"No, see, Eri walked on me mostly naked when I was 
fully naked and...never mind," Harima said.

	"That explains a lot," Mikoto mumbled.  "Come back 
later, Kenji."

	"Okay."

**********
	
	Sagano drowsed as she rode on the train.  In her 
dreams, she'd gotten to go skiing instead of having HER 
STUPID COUSIN as a ball and chain.  Also, she was a 
fantastically wealthy rock star and had Yuuki, Fuyuki, Brad 
Pitt, and the Baroness as her harem.  Mmm, harem.

	It was, in other words a pretty good dream, if a bit 
more grandiose than her usual dreams, as shown by the fact 
that she was, at this moment, just getting back from having 
been given the Nobel Peace Prize for being just too cool.

	The Baroness was just in the process of forcing Tomo 
to watch every episode of the Brady Bunch in order without 
stopping while Fuyuki gave Sagano a foot-rub when she 
felt the world shake.

	The voice of Yuuki boomed down from heaven.  
"Stop drooling on me."

	Sagano felt confused; Yuuki was right next to her, 
cuddled up to her in nice lingerie.  Very nice lingerie, 
really; Brad could hardly restrain himself.  "Oh, you know 
she wants you," she told Brad.

	"STOP DROOLING ON ME."  The world shook 
again.

	She could distantly hear Tomo laughing.

	More earthquakes and Fuyuki somehow said from the 
sky, "Wake up, honey, or at least drool on me instead of 
her."

	Lala's laughter finally woke Sagano up.  "Dammit!  I 
was having a great dream!"

	"Oh yes, Brad, kiss me right there," Lala said, 
imitating Sagano's voice.

	Sagano looked mortified.  "Fuyuki, honey, I'd never 
leave you for Brad Pitt, even when he BEGS.  I made him 
be our cabana boy for the sake of our love!"

	Yuuki said, "..."

	Fuyuki laughed softly and rumpled her hair.  "I know 
you wouldn't, honey, but you shouldn't grapple Yuuki and 
drool on her in your sleep."

	"Brad Pitt?  HAH!  He'd date me LONG before he'd 
date you," Tomo said.

	"That's not what he told me," Yuuki said.  If you can't 
beat the lunatics, you might as well join them, she thought.

	Lala, assuming they were joking, said, "I wasn't too 
impressed with his kissing.  Now, Jackie Chan, he can kiss, 
but he was too old for me."

	Tomo and Sagano turned and stared.  "Holy shit, you 
kissed Brad Pitt?" Sagano said.

	Lala laughed on the inside.  These two idiots believed 
me.  Might as well have some fun with them.  "Yes, during 
his time in Mexico, filming The Mexican, of course."

	"WOW!" Tomo said.  "Tell us about it!"

	Lala was soon regaling them with the tale of her love 
affair with Brad Pitt.  Tomo and Sagano hung on every 
word while Yuuki looked more dubious.  Fuyuki just 
laughed softly and read the newspaper.

	This should be amusing, he thought.

**************

	Harima rode along in silence with Masahiro, who had 
been designated official driver of Harima for the day.  He 
had the feeling he ought to say something, but he really 
didn't know the guy, other than that he was an old friend of 
Mikoto's, and now it looked like she was probably boinking 
him and Hanai at the same time.

	My life would be easier if I knew how they all worked 
that out, Harima thought.  "So how do you do it?" he asked.

	"Do what?" Masahiro asked.

	"Two girlfriends at once," Harima asked.

	Masahiro laughed nervously.  "It's not like that.  
Exactly."

	"It sure looks like it," Harima said.

	"It's hard to explain."

	"It doesn't involve magical sex-changing, does it?" 
Harima asked.

	"..."

	"That shit will fuck you up," Harima said.

	"..."

	"It's easier for women, they can have two boyfriends 
no problem.  But a guy?  Just can't do it," Harima 
grumbled.  

	WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT, 
Masahiro wondered, suddenly fretful.

	"Not that I want two boyfriends, mind you, but I like 
both of them, but then sometimes I still think about Tenma, 
you know," Harima said.  It was like some spigot of words 
was stuck 'on'.  

	Masahiro glanced over, then said, "You're dating her 
sister, right?"

	"It's a messy story," Harima said.  

	"Well, if you..."

	"So, do you have to balance out the times Mikoto and 
Miki see you naked?" Harima asked.  "As that must get 
complicated."

	"..."

	Harima began trying to do some math.  "Hmm, 
different sized breasts...do you calculate touching by the 
amount of area or by time expended or..."

	Masahiro could feel his brain cells dying; he swerved 
to avoid a tree.  "It's all very free-form, we don't have much 
for formal rules, beyond now learning to lock the doors 
forever," he mumbled.

	"Damn, I'm jealous," Harima said.  "Does this sort of 
thing get easier to deal with in college, then?"

	Masahiro decided it best to just start making things up 
so as to avoid having to try to understand Harima.  "Yes.  
We've been training Mikoto and Hanai to be mature like 
college students."

	Harima thought as much.  "Well, Hanai's always been 
boringly mature.  And really, Mikoto's a good person to 
watch your back."

	"You two seem to fight a lot, I've heard," Masahiro 
observed.  

	"Yeah, he used to have the hots for my girlfriend," 
Harima said.  "And he'd get all 'I am the King' bossy on me.  
Just because he's class rep and I'm a delinquent.  Like that 
makes him lord of all Harimas."

	"That's your girlfriend's job," Masahiro said.

	"Yes.  No.  Aaaargh," Harima said.

	Masahiro laughed.  "So what are you getting in town, 
anyway?"

	"I forgot to get stuff to wrap any of the presents I 
have.  And trying to think of some way to sneak into Eri's 
party tonight," he said.  He'd been trying to think of some 
way to get hold of Eri's relatives, but since they didn't know 
him...

	"You're not invited?" Masahiro asked.

	"Her parents want me away from her," Harima said.  

	"You could dress up in drag," Masahiro joked.

	He was surprised when Harima freaked out.  When 
Harima finally got a grip, he said, "Not possible."

	Masahiro looked at Harima, then an idea hit him.  
"You have all these presents to give to people anyway, 
right?"

	"Yeah, I wanted to show my appreciation for all 
they've helped me with," he said.  And to avoid beatings 
from anyone who might get offended I skipped them, he 
thought.  DAMMIT I FORGOT TO GET ITOKO 
SOMETHING, SHE WILL KILL ME.

	"Then I have the PERFECT idea," Masahiro said.  
Yes, this would be truly perfect.

*****************

	An army of servants had descended upon Sawachika 
house; everyone had to dodge the forces which were busy 
primping everything for the party.  Many folk took quiet 
refuge in the bedrooms or just went outside to ski.

	Karen spent much of the day practicing her song, so as 
to be ready for the concert.  Harry went skiing after 
listening for a while.  Thus, she was alone, when she found 
Imadori to be lurking in the door to her room, listening.

	"Go away," she said, not wanting any more pain.

	"I can't; your music draws me," he said.

	"Find someone to hit on who isn't me," she said.  "I 
have a boyfriend, and he's much better than you."  Her 
voice was defiant, though she felt hollow.
 
	"He just wants to have strong babies," Imadori said.  
"Or he'd be here listening to you."

	"I don't need my boyfriend to cling to me every 
second to feel loved," Karen said.

	"He's restless, the sort of guy who..."

	Karen said, "Please go away."

	Imadori frowned.  "He's just using you."

	"So were you, go away," Karen said more firmly, 
though it hurt to tell him to go away.  But it hurt if he 
stayed too.

	"I'm not going away until I make you see..." he said.

	She rose.  "You used me, got what you wanted, and 
threw me away to get a cute blonde fiancee with bigger 
breasts than mine and lots of money.  Now go away."

	Imadori shook.  "Karen, I didn't..."

	She slammed the door in his face, then went back to 
her bed and cried.

**************
 
	"Nakamura-san!" Sagano said enthusiastically.  "Did 
you come to pick us up?"

	"Yes, the young miss sent me," he said to the group.

	Sagano smiled.  "It's very kind of you," she said.

	"Imadori-sama tells me it is important to be nice to 
beautiful young ladies."

	Sagano preened.  Just a bit.  "He's right."

	"If one values one's life, anyway," Fuyuki said.  "I'll 
help you stow the luggage."

	Imadori-SAMA, Yuuki thought.  I never thought I'd 
hear anyone say that.  

	Fuyuki began helping while the ladies piled into the 
car.  "Kyousuke-kun's been teaching you how to treat 
women?"

	"Yes," Nakamura said.

	"Just be careful; he does get hit a lot."

	"I have noticed," Nakamura said ruefully.  

	Sagano came around.  "You ever met Brad Pitt, 
Nakamura-san?"

	"Yes," he said.  "Dreadful man, bad hair, no manners, 
looks like a two-penny whore."

	"..."  Everyone but me has, she thought.  I feel 
deprived.
	
	Fuyuki laughed softly.  "Sawachika-san has so much 
money, she can probably buy him for you if you perform 
well enough tonight, honey."

	"Oooooooo,"  Sagano said, holding up a fist.  
"FIGHTO!"  She ran off excitedly.

	"Interesting," Nakamura said, watching her scamper.  

	"With time, I am learning how to roll with the 
punches," Fuyuki said.  "Let's get this done, so we can get 
out of the cold."

	"Agreed."	

*************

	"You're going to do WHAT?" Eri asked Harima over 
the phone.

	"Trust me.  I just need you to get Nakamura to cover 
me.  Masahiro-san and I have it all figured out," Harima 
said.

	"You SURE this is a good idea?" Eri asked.

	"Do you have a better one?"

	"Give me some time," she stalled.

	"Call me if you think of something.  I have to get 
fitted."

	"Okay," I will, she said.  Time to set out more 
mistletoe, she thought.

**************

	Having made some legal arrangements, the trio of 
adults now headed off to try to visit Yurippe's parents 
again.  "Maybe I should go up alone at first," Yuri said.  
"They won't attack me at least; you two can stand ready to 
rescue me if necessary."

	Tae frowned.  "And if they do?"

	"You'll be ready."  Yuri sighed.  "My parents are 
normally not insane; they're really not bad people, just 
strict."

	"I hope so," Tae said.

	"Even if they get mad, they can't do anything to you 
now," Tani said, putting a hand on Yuri's shoulder.

	She turned and kissed him softly.  "I just have to 
remember that."

	Tani and Tae concealed themselves among the nearby 
bushes, while Yuri went up to the door.

	A noose tightened around her foot, yanking her up to a 
second story window; hands reached out and pulled her in.

	Tani and Tae looked at each other.  "..."

	"It's our daughter!", they heard Yuri's mother shout.

	"Are you sure it's not another deliveryman?  The last 
one threatened to sue," her father shouted.

	"LET HER GO!" Tae shouted.

	"She'd crack her skull," Yuri's mother shouted out the 
window, then slammed it shut.

	"Well, this complicates matters," Tani said.

	"We could call the police," Yuri said.

	"With all the rumors that seem to have circulated, they 
might just lock us up."  He sighed.

	"So we have no choice but to storm the fortress to 
rescue our fair maiden?" Tae asked.

	"Hmm.  I have a clever plan..."

**************

	"Dammit, I still don't look perfect!" Yukari shouted at 
the mirror.

	"If we wait for you to look perfect, we'll never go," 
Nyamo said, sitting on the bed, having changed into an 
evening gown.

	"I HAVE TO KNOCK THEM DEAD," Yukari 
shouted out of the bathroom.
	
	There was a knock on the door; it was Umino in a 
snazzy tuxedo.  Nyamo gave him a hug and a kiss.  "Hey, 
baby," he said.  "You and your friend ready to go?"

	"Don't peek or I'll kill you!" Yukari shouted.

	Nyamo said, "She's still busy getting all gussied up to 
indulge her shouta complex."

	"I DO NOT HAVE A SHOUTA COMPLEX!," 
Yukari shouted.  "I drive a Honda!"

	Nyamo giggled a little, and pulled Umino inside.  
"We'll just have to sit here and make out while we wait."

	"Dammit, people, no making out when I'm not getting 
any!  And no peeping!" Yukari shouted again, trying to 
adjust her makeup quickly.

	"Too busy peeping on Nyamo-san," Umino said, then 
returned to the art of kissing Nyamo.

	Yukari turned and looked; he definitely wasn't 
peeping.  He must be gay, not trying to see me naked when 
he has the chance.  Not that I'm naked, BUT HE CAN'T 
KNOW THAT.  This just irritated her more.

	He would pay, oh yes, he would PAY before the night 
was over.  

***************

	Chiyo-chan was in the process of dressing up for the 
party when her phone rang.  "Hello?"

	"Mihama-san, I need your assistance, and that of 
Tadakichi-san," Harima said.  "And maybe the rest of your 
friends too."

	She blinked.  "You aren't stranded again, are you?"

	"No, no, you see, it's like this..."

	He explained his plan in detail.

	Chiyo-chan's pigtails wiggled.  "Sure!  That sounds 
like a lot of fun!  I'd be glad to help.  We may have to lean 
on Kagura-chan, though."

	"Tell her..."  There was a pause, as if Harima was 
listening to someone, though Chiyo couldn't hear anything.  
"That I need a model for one of the characters in the manga 
I draw, and I think she'd be perfect for it."

	"Oooh, she'll like that," Chiyo said.  "You draw a 
manga?"

	"I have a contract now; Yakumo-san helps me," 
Harima said.

	"Okay, I'll ask everyone and call you back, okay?"

	"Okay," he said.

	"Talk to you soon!"  She hung up and went to make 
inquiries.

***************

	Harima's phone rang.  He checked; it was Yakumo.  
"Kenji-kun, are you going to the party?  I want to go, but..."

	"I need you to come down and get fitted," he said.

	"I don't understand," she said.

	"Masahiro will come get you," Harima said.  "It'll be 
less suspicious if you're with us."

	"I don't understand," she said.

	"I'll brief you when you arrive," Harima said.  "Bring 
something nice to change into later, though."

	"Okay," she said nervously.

	"See you soon."  Click.

	She stared at her phone and wondered what she was 
getting into.

*****************

	Stairway to Heaven echoed through the Sawachika 
lodge as the band began warming up and getting ready to 
play.  Karen stalked back and forth nervously in a Santa 
outfit, wondering if it was wise to wear it in such cold 
weather.  But the fireplace did seem to keep the main hall 
warm.

	Mrs. Sawachika entered, with Imadori trailing her like 
a tame dog.  "Please tell me that's not Christmas music," 
she said.

	"It's our ROCKING warmup music," Sagano said 
proudly.

	"Well, our guests will be expecting Christmas songs," 
Mrs. Sawachika said.

	"ROCKING Christmas songs," Imadori said.

	"Don't worry, we have some good ones planned," 
Karen said.

	"Kyousuke-san tells me you have a very beautiful 
singing voice, Karen-san," Mrs. Sawachika said.

	Karen blushed and glanced at Imadori, who was 
ambling about aimlessly, touching the decorations.  "He 
flatters me."

	Lala emerged from among the sound system 
equipment, which she and Fuyuki were getting set up.  
"Ichijou-san sings like the angels announcing the Birth of 
Christ."  She folded her arms across her chest.  "You will 
be amazed."

	Karen stared at the ground, more embarrassed.  
"Thank you, Lala-san," she mumbled.

	"Imadori, if you're looking for your shame, I think you 
left it back in Tokyo," Lala said to him as he continued to 
putter about.

	"Kyousuke-kun has nothing to be ashamed of," Mrs. 
Sawachika said sternly.  "He's been a very good fiancee."

	"He's a womanizer and a lech!  If she didn't hate him, 
he'd make Sawachika-san cry," Lala said.  "He should pay 
for his sins."

	"Not in my house," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "Come, 
Kyousuke."

	"Bye, everyone!  I'm looking forward to the concert!" 
he said as he was dragged off.

	"Punk," Lala snarled.

	"Come on, help me finish, Gonzales-san," Fuyuki 
said.

	"This needs more creches," Lala said.  "How can you 
celebrate Christmas without any nativity scenes?"

	"Any what?" Yuuki asked.

	"A little...display of the birth of Christ," Lala said.

	"Why don't we find Sara?  She can help you set one 
up," Karen said.

	"Alright.  Sister Sara will understand," Lala said.  
They headed out.

	Right after they left, Yuuki said, "Wait...where is 
Tomo?"

	Everyone looked around the room nervously.  

	"Uh oh," Yuuki said. "We'd better find her before it's 
too late."

	"Do we have to?" Fuyuki asked.

	"For the sake of mankind," Yuuki said.

	He sighed.  "Okay, let's go, then."

*************

	Tomo had to sprinkle the sugar by hand so it would 
spread evenly through the sheets.  That way, the ants would 
spread out evenly once released.  This was a lot of work, 
but Tomo could be terribly patient and hard working if she 
felt it rewarded.

	Once the sugar was in place, she planted the ant-bomb 
and then began strewing jacks everywhere; who needs 
caltrops when you have cheap children's toys?  

	She was busy rigging the window to come open in the 
middle of this when she heard footsteps.  Quickly, she 
slipped out and deliberately crashed into some tables.  

	Yuuki sighed. "Tomo, don't break the furniture."  She 
seized Tomo's arm.  "Come on, be good."

	"I'm too BAAAD to be good," Tomo said.  "Though 
I'm good at being bad."

	"Whatever.  Come on."

	"I'll finish my sabotage later," Tomo mumbled.

	"What was that?" Yuuki asked.

	"Nothing," Tomo said hurriedly.  "I'm not laying traps 
at all."

	"Just don't mess up our concert."  Yuuki's voice was 
stern.

	"It'll be fine," Tomo said.  "I like music."

	Yuuki hoped that included Tomo staying silent and 
out of the way.

**************

	Imadori looked around his room.  What a mess, he 
thought.  Lala had been a busy little beaver somehow.  
Very sneaky.

	BUT NOT SNEAKY ENOUGH.  

	Two could play at this game.

	Oh yes, they could.

****************
	
	"I still think I look ridiculous in this outfit," Mr. 
Gonzales said as he and Mr. Hanai rode swiftly in the 
sleight across the mountains of Japan.

	"It's the spirit of the season," Mr. Hanai said.  "And it 
will catch them off guard."

	"Does anyone in Japan even know who I'm supposed 
to be?" Mr. Gonzales asked.  	

	"If they don't know now, they will soon," Mr. Hanai 
said.  Yes, this was definitely the best plan ever.

**************

	Miki fretted.  "Harima-san doesn't have an interest in 
men, does he?" she asked Mikoto as they were both getting 
changed.

	"Uh, what?" Mikoto asked in confusion.  "He didn't 
turn into a woman again, did he?"

	"He turns into a woman???" Miki asked, now more 
worried.

	"That was all Eri's fault," Mikoto said.  "And he's back 
to normal and why are you even thinking such things?" She 
struggled to get the buttons on the back of her dress done 
until Miki came over and did them.

	Miki then leaned against her, head to Mikoto's 
shoulders.  "Well, they ran off together, and they're going 
to the party without us and Masahiro won't explain to me 
what they're doing.  It's a 'secret'."

	"I am QUITE sure that he's not trying to seduce 
Masahiro," Mikoto said.

	"I'd trust him, if you two snuck off together, but I 
hardly know Harima-san and he seems kind of weird to 
me," Miki said.

	Mikoto froze up.  "Masahiro and I wouldn't do 
something like that behind your back, Miki.  I mean, 
sneaking off for...or..."  

	"If I caught you two kissing, it would probably just 
turn me on," Miki said, shivering a little.  "But I know you 
and I trust you and...I'm being really silly.  I should trust 
my boyfriend more.  Surely, he'd never fall for someone 
like that, right?"

	Mikoto suddenly felt very embarrassed.  "I'm sure 
Masahiro is much more interested in women than men.  
And Kenji-kun already has several girlfriends, and I think 
that other girl likes him too."

	"The cat-lover?" Miki asked.

	"Yes," Mikoto said.  "Whatever her name 
is...Sachiko?"  She was grateful to switch topics a bit.

	"Sakaki, I think," Miki said.  "I wouldn't mind having 
a body like hers.  Or yours."  She made an odd noise which 
reminded Mikoto of a cat.

	"You have a perfectly nice body," Mikoto said.  "Big 
breasts tend to get in the way, anyway, when I'm being 
athletic."  

	Miki reached around Mikoto and briefly squeezed 
Mikoto's breasts, causing Mikoto to turn red.  "But men 
love to do that with them."

	"I'm sure men love to do that with yours too," Mikoto 
mumbled.  "As I can see what Masahiro-kun likes to do 
with them."

	"Well, you taught us that trick," Miki said, perking up.  
She let go of Mikoto and finished off the buttons.  "Can 
you get my zipper?"

	Mikoto zipped up the back of Miki's dress, which 
wasn't too hard, given it dipped low in the back.  "I do 
think we'll have lots of men drooling after us tonight in 
these dresses."

	"Mmm, good," Miki said.  "You look beautiful."

	"You look great too," Mikoto said.

	"Hmm, so if our boyfriends made out, would you 
think it hot or would you not like seeing that?" Miki asked 
thoughtfully.

	"Hot," Mikoto said, then froze up.  "Why are you 
asking these crazy questions?  I don't think Haruki and 
Masahiro are into each other, and..." 

	"I think we need to cross some new boundary of 
kinkiness to celebrate Christmas properly," Miki said.  
"Also I'm kind of nervous about this party, like I'll break 
something valuable and have to be a servant of the 
Sawachika family for twenty years to pay for it."  She 
shivered.

	"It will be fun and I won't let Eri take you as her 
slave," Mikoto said.  She could see Haruki and Masahiro 
making out in her mind's eye.  Which would be hot, but it 
would NEVER happen and now I'm infected, she thought.  
Of course, if Eri can still use her magic and turn us all the 
opposite gender just for one night, that would be super-
kinky and...no, no, we're kinky enough without risking all 
becoming orangutangs or something.

	Miki looked at Mikoto curiously.  "You're not 
imagining us both as Sawachika's love slaves, are you?"

	"No!  And I'm not thinking about how Eri could turn 
us into men and our boyfriends into women for a night 
either and..."  Mikoto put her hands over her mouth.

	"Wow, you're even more perverted than I am," Miki 
said.  "Have you and Haruki done that?"

	"We just made out some, but we didn't want to risk 
complications," Mikoto mumbled.

	Miki tried to imagine trying to explain getting 
Masahiro pregnant to his parents.  Tiny tendrils of smoke 
curled out of her ears.  "I think we can save that for further 
down the line," she mumbled.  She looked down at herself.  
"Okay, we're good.  Haruki-kun, you good?" she shouted.

	He didn't reply.

	Mikoto, worried, went and knocked on the bathroom 
door.  "Haruki-kun, you okay?"

	The door swung open and he was gone.  "What the..."

	"Maybe he left?" Mikoto asked nervously.  She 
stepped inside and found no sign of him.  "What the..."

	They began to search frantically, when finally, the 
door opened and he stepped in, wearing a suit.  "You two 
ready to go?"

	"How did you get out there?" Mikoto asked.

	"Miki was on the phone and you were doing your hair 
and I guess neither of you noticed me going out," Hanai 
said.

	"You didn't slip off for a...never mind," Miki said, 
gently banging her head on the doorway.

	Hanai blinked.  "I was doing laundry."

	"Not making out with any guys," Miki said.

	"..."

	"I didn't think so.  Really," Miki said.

	"Do I really want to know?" Hanai asked.

	"No, not really," Mikoto said, coming over and kissing 
him.  

	He kissed her back softly.  "I won't be kissing 
Masahiro under the mistletoe, if that's what you're 
wondering, Miki."

	"Hmmm, if you're dating some people, you don't have 
to kiss anyone else, right?" Miki asked.

	"I...hmm.  Not a romantic kiss, anyway.  Maybe...I 
really don't know much about such things," Hanai said.  

	"I got kissed by six guys last Christmas, but I wasn't 
dating anyone then," Miki said thoughtfully.  "How about 
you, Mikoto?"

	"I had to punch out eight guys who tried," Mikoto 
said.

	"What, didn't you want to kiss anyone?"  Miki asked.

	"The guy I liked dodged the mistletoe like crazy," 
Mikoto said, sighing.  She wondered if Masahiro would 
kiss her under the mistletoe this year.  The thought of it 
made her very embarrassed.  In a good way.  I am getting 
perverted, she thought.

	"Well, I'm sure they'll be after you this year," Miki 
said.  "We'll be the prettiest women there, right, Haruki-
kun?"

	"No one there could possibly be more beautiful than 
Mikoto or you, Miki," Hanai said, taking each of them with 
one hand.

	Mikoto felt a thrill at the complement.  "And our 
boyfriends will be the handsomest men there."

	"Exactly," he said, leaning forward and kissing her 
again.  "You two ready to go?"

	"You should help Mikoto get her shoes on, and then 
help me with mine," Miki said.

	Hanai blinked.  "You need help?"

	"Yes," Mikoto lied.  She needed no help, but having 
Haruki pamper her made her happy.  

	She sat on the bed and he carefully lifted one high 
heeled shoe and slid it onto her foot.  "It fits perfectly.  I've 
found the princess, I see," he said a little teasingly.

	Mikoto blushed just a little.  "So I'm Cinderella 
tonight?" she asked softly.

	"If you'll let me be your Prince Charming," Haruki 
said.

	Miki watched, feeling a little jealous and wishing 
Masahiro was here.  

	"You'll always be my Prince Charming," Mikoto said 
softly, then leaned down and kissed him again.

	Hanai was rising, pushing Mikoto back onto the bed, 
arms starting to slide around her, when Miki cleared her 
throat, saying, "I hope that doesn't make me a wicked step 
sister."

	Hanai and Mikoto froze up a moment, then Hanai 
said, "Of course not.  You'd be the lovely fairy godmother."

	Miki felt flattered at that.  "Well, then, help me get my 
shoes on, and then we can go to the ball."

	"Of course."  He quickly got her shoes on, and then 
they went.

*****************
	
	Eri's mother hummed a little tune as she buttoned up 
the back of Eri's dress.  "You look lovely," she said.  "Your 
fiancee will love it."

	"He won't be happy unless I get breast implants," Eri 
mumbled.  

	"You're big enough for any reasonable man," her 
mother said, putting a hand on Eri's shoulder.  "And 
Kyousuke-san is a very reasonable man.  If you ask him to 
get muscle implants..."

	Eri laughed at the mental image.  "Mother, I don't love 
him."

	"Well, either you'll have to make your peace with him 
or else you'll go crazy," her mother said.  "But can't we 
have this fight again later?  It's Christmas Eve."

	"You won't even let me invite..." Eri began.

	"If you don't forget him, you'll only go crazy," her 
mother said.  "He hasn't even tried to sneak into the house, 
so I expect he's moving on."  She shook her head.  "Boys 
give up easy at that age."

	"He has not given up on me!  I want him to avoid 
another pointless beating!" Eri protested.  "He's my real 
boyfriend," she continued.

	"Who is dating your friend's sister," her mother said, 
folding her arms under her breasts.  Eri knew this was a 
sign.

	A bad sign.

	Stubbornly, she persisted.  "Not for real.  It's just a 
mix-up because I thought they were dating."

	"You need a boy who has eyes only for you, like 
Kyousuke," her mother said.

	Eri began to laugh so hard she couldn't breathe, so she 
passed out, wondering how her mother could be so 
delusional.

*************
	
	"I'm going to put this in simple terms," Harry said to 
Imadori.  "If you make Karen cry again, I am going to 
make sure you never STOP crying.  Do you understand?"

	"You're the one who's going to mess things up for 
her!" Imadori said angrily to him.  "If she cries, it'll be 
because of you."

	They were arguing in the guest wing hallway.  Karen 
was lurking nearby, inside her room, listening.  

	"I am faithful to her, and I love her," Harry said hotly.  
"I'm a real man, unlike you."

	"You just want strong babies, like when you tried to 
seduce Lala!" Imadori said.

	"Seduce Lala?  You're the one who dated her!" Harry 
said.

	Karen hated to hear them fighting.  She didn't want to 
think about all this.  She'd just come back to her room to 
finish primping before performing, and now they were 
fighting over her.  It felt good and hurt at once to hear 
Imadori looking out for her.  Or at least claiming to.  But he 
had his bosomy fiancee now.  

	She sighed, wishing she had a fuller figure.  Maybe he 
would have...

	No, I won't think that way, she thought.  Harry loves 
me and he doesn't mind at all.  He likes my body.  Very 
much.  She blushed at the memory.  

	She finished her primping and walked out as the two 
continued to argue.  She strode over to Harry and pulled 
him down into a long kiss.  "Let's go, boyfriend," she said.

	Imadori shouted something after them, but she ignored 
him.  I'm here with someone who loves me, she thought.  
That has to be good enough.

**************

	"Megumi-san," Fuyuki said.

	"Yes, dear?" she asked.

	"There's still not a five minute guitar solo in Jingle 
Bells," he said calmly.

	"There is NOW," she replied.

	Fuyuki decided it was probably a good thing most 
Japanese people didn't know many Christmas songs very 
well.

******************

	Eri stood with her parents at the doors, greeting 
guests.  Imadori was here also, looking very cheerful, 
which drove little mental bamboo flakes under her mental 
nails.

	Suddenly, he got a look of panic on his face, but only 
Eri saw it.  He looked normal when he turned to her parents 
and said, "I'm sure the guests would like to see more of 
both of you.  My fiancee and I can handle this, unless you 
really want to stay in the cold with us."

	"That's sweet of you," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "I should 
check on the food, anyway, and Henry, I'd like you to make 
sure the musicians are alright."

	"Okay," he said, then kissed Eri on the forehead.  "Be 
good," he said.

	"Her behavior is always admirable," Imadori said.

	Eri wondered again what his game was.  

	A trio of figures approached almost immediately after 
Eri's parents left, two women and a man.

	"Umino-san!" she said, surprised, as he arrived.  He 
got a hug from her, since it would hopefully annoy Imadori 
and her parents.  "How are you, cousin?"

	"I'm doing well.  This is my date, Kurosawa Minamo; 
she's a high school teacher, and her flunky, Tanizaki 
Yukari," Umino said, spinning Eri around in an embrace.

	"Holy cow, you never said you were loaded!" Yukari 
said, punching Umino in the arm.  "Nyamo, you gold-
digger!"

	"It's nice to meet you," Eri said to Nyamo.  "Umino 
always has very good taste in girlfriends.  Just remember he 
needs a firm hand to keep him in line."

	"Hello, Yukari-san!" Imadori said to her.

	"Kyousuke-kun!" Yukari said excitedly.  Her eyes 
glittered.

	Eri felt her 'beat the fool' senses tingling.  She's twice 
his age, Eri thought.  And she addresses him like she's his 
sister...or girlfriend...is he dating a teacher???

	"Imadori..."  She said, turning to him warningly.  
"Have you been dating a teacher?"

	"Yes," Yukari said.  "He's a very good date."

	"Yukari-san, you can't date students!" Nyamo said.

	Umino just looked amused.

	"He doesn't go to our school, therefore, it's fine, since 
I'll never be his teacher," Yukari said stubbornly.  
"Kyousuke-kun, take me to the infinite free alcohol."

	"Come," he said, leading her off by the hand."

	"I'm going to kill him," Eri said.  But she couldn't 
leave the door unattended.  

	"So he's this mysterious fiancee I've heard about?" 
Umino asked.  "Your mother makes him sound like a saint 
from heaven."

	"He's a perverted guy who chases huge-chested 
women," Eri said.  "A fiend among men."

	"Hmm, Yukari really isn't all that huge.  Not small, 
either, but..." Nyamo said.

	"The fact that he's dating a teacher who isn't even 
large-chested doesn't help!" Eri said.  I'm as big as she is, 
but he won't grope me, like I'm just too tiny for him.  
PUNK, she thought.

	Umino laughed.  "I'm surprised you haven't whipped 
him into submission yet, cousin."

	"He's being protected," Eri grumbled.  "Any chance 
you could fold him in half for me?"

	"I'm going to be busy showing my lady a good time," 
Umino said.

	"Well, I will try and keep Yukari from making a fool 
of herself...too much of a fool of herself...with him," 
Nyamo said.

	"Thank you," Eri said.  "And I hope you enjoy the 
party.  More than I will."

	"And good luck to you too," Umino said as he took 
Nyamo inside.  
	
	Eri went back to planning VENGEANCE.

*************

	Harry realized, to his regret, that while Karen had a 
beautiful singing voice, she could not, in fact, bilocate, and 
thus he couldn't dance with her.  He was also too young for 
most of the guests.  Which meant he would have to poach 
2-C women if he was going to dance.  He had to do 
something or go crazy, anyway.

	Thankfully, Sara was a fairly graceful dancer, so as he 
danced with her, he didn't have to worry about disaster.  He 
could see Asou looking resentfully across the dance floor at 
him, but it was the man's own fault for lurking around the 
punch bowls instead of taking the woman out on the floor.

	"It's too bad you and Karen can't dance," Sara said to 
him as he whirled her out and around counter-clockwise as 
they spun around one couple.

	"Well, the band will take a break at some point, I 
hope," he said.  He looked around.  "Where's Imadori?"

	"I don't know," Sara said.  "He may be hiding from 
Sakaki-san."

	"Is she here yet?" Harry asked, looking around more.

	Sara spun on one foot, then Harry pulled her in close.  
"I haven't seen her."

	"Well, the night is still young."

*************

	Say something, Akira told herself, as she rode in the 
van.  But she couldn't confess with everyone watching.  But 
maybe at the party, she could pull him aside.  

	She glanced over at Mikoto and Miki, who were 
talking quietly to each other, with Hanai zoned out in the 
window seat next to Mikoto.  Where is Masahiro, and what 
exactly are he and Harima up to, Akira wondered.  She'd 
never twigged those two might conspire together.

	Nara shifted slightly, and his arm he had around her 
waist moved, reminding her of it.  She leaned against him.  
"Excited?" she whispered.

	"I am TOTALLY wired," Tenma said, having 
apparently over heard.  "Aren't you exc...oops, he's not 
here."  She frowned.

	Akira smiled slightly, while Nara and Mikoto laughed 
loudly.  "I'm sure he's very excited," Mikoto said.

	"I just hope we get to dance some," Tenma said.

	"I'm sure you will," Akira said.  

	"He plays bass, right?  I could sub for him for a bit, let 
you have a chance to dance with him, if they don't mind," 
Shinichi said.

	"Honey, you aren't very good," Kasumi said.

	"I am AWESOME," he said.  

	Keiichi smiled and shook his head.  Jenny said, 
"You're a better DJ than guitarist, Shinichi-san."  She kept 
her eyes on the road as she drove, however.

	"Hey, I can rock out like a wild man," Shinichi 
insisted.

	"I don't think you normally 'rock out' Christmas 
music," Mikoto said.

	"I can rock out ANYTHING," Shinichi insisted.  
"Even elevator music."

	"Well, we'll have to see then," Jenny said.  "But I'm 
not seeing it."

	Kasumi shook her head.  Sometimes, you just have to 
let the boyfriend throw himself on the rocks.

****************

	"Ahh, there you are, Kyousuke-san," Mrs. Sawachika 
said to Imadori, who was at the bar with Yukari, who was 
trying out drinks she'd never even heard of before.  It was 
Heaven on Earth for her.  "You should be at the door with 
Eri-chan."

	"I'm sorry," he said, bowing.  "I was showing Yukari-
sensei around the lodge."

	"I'm afraid I insisted," Yukari-sensei said in English.  
"And he was kind enough to indulge my whims."

	"Oh, are you from abroad?" Mrs. Sachikawa said, 
perking up.  "Your English is very good."

	Yukari-sensei beamed.  "You flatter me.  I'm just from 
Tokyo, but I teach English for a living," she said in 
English.  "I've been trying to help Kyousuke improve his 
English."  She looked dignified in a manner which would 
have shattered the sanity of her usual associates.

	"It's very kind of you," Imadori said in English.  "I 
think your advice helped me greatly on our final."

	Mrs. Sawachika smiled.  "Well, it's a pleasure to meet 
you.  I'll show you around, so Imadori-kun can tend to his 
fiancee."

	"It's very kind of you, thank you," Yukari-sensei said, 
smiling broadly.  Dammit, she thought.  I'll have to sneak 
him off later, I suppose.  

	Imadori bowed.  "As you command, my lady."  He 
took Mrs. Sawachika's hand and kissed it, then ran off.

	Mrs. Sawachika led her guest off for the grand tour.

	Yurika prayed she could keep her act up long enough 
to escape the tour without being thrown out.

*****************

	Lala felt her ears prick as she watched couples 
dancing as she sang along with Karen.  Was it just cold or 
was her danger sense starting to go off?  But what source of 
danger could there be?

	I'm just paranoid, she thought as they launched into 
Joy to the World.  It's not like ninjas attack Christmas 
parties habitually or anything, after all.

***************

	Akira glided gracefully with Nara across the ballroom 
floor.  Or tried.  He wasn't a bad dancer, but since he 
couldn't strip half-naked at a formal party, his agility was 
the same as it had been most of his life...not very 
impressive.  But it was fun, anyway.

	She could see Miki lurking by the punchbowls, and 
felt bad for her.  She was glad to have Nara by her side.  
But where are all the missing people, anyway?  Mihama-
san's crew hadn't shown up yet, and neither had Masahiro 
and Harima.  And Yakumo.  The three of them...

	Akira shook her head.  I am going crazy, she thought, 
then glanced over at Hanai.  Definitely crazy.

	Later, when he and Mikoto take a break, she thought.  
I'll deal with it then.

***********

	Yukari stared off across the dance floor at Lala, who 
was busy singing along with Karen.  So she's the one who 
put all that junk in Kyousuke's room, Yukari thought.

	Shouldn't have messed with my man, kid, Yukari 
thought, taking another shot of bourbon.  She shuffled idly, 
waiting for her revenge to be delivered.

	The tricky part had been arranging anonymous 
delivery of the package to Lala.  But a little flirting and 
sharing of alcohol had taken care of that.

	A servant now brought the brightly wrapped package 
up to Lala, who took a break during the next song to open 
it.  The First Noel was suddenly interrupted by Lala flailing 
around, with spiders and frogs and sugar all over herself.  

	Yukari began to laugh, not realizing she'd just written 
herself a death warrant.

*************

	"FASTER, PUSSYCATS, KILL, KILL!" Osaka 
shouted into the wind at the valiant beasts pulling her along 
in the sleigh.

	"They're dogs," Chiyo-chan pointed out, her pigtails 
flopping about.

	They all looked like Tadakichi, in fact.

	"Your father doesn't agree," Osaka said, pointing to 
the giant glowing cat-thing flying over the group.  It wore a 
Santa suit with beard.

	"CAT," Sakaki said firmly.

	Masahiro stared up at the sky in confusion.  "What the 
hell?"

	"The Cat-Santa gives us his blessing!" Harima 
shouted, stroking his very long white beard.  "BEARDS 
ON, EVERYONE!"

	"You know, I'm fairly sure that women Santas don't 
have beards," Kagura said.

	Osaka stroked her beard.  "I feel so old and wise."

	Chiyo-chan giggled at hers.

	"BEARDS ON," Harima bellowed at Kagura, who 
hastily donned hers.  

	Sakaki carefully hid her mountain cat in her beard; 
you never know when you'll need the help.

	Masahiro cracked a whip over the dogs.  "TO THE 
SKIES!"

	Tadakichi shouted in Spanish, "TO THE MOON, 
ALICE!"  And the dogs took the skies, pulling the sleigh 
after them, the wind whipping everyone's hair, fur, and 
beards.  

	Osaka laughed, stroking her beard.  It was time to 
bring Christmas joy to all the good little children.

************
	
	Chiyo-chan carefully propped Osaka up so she 
wouldn't drool on herself.  Osaka kept wiggling her left 
hand through the air under her chin.

	"What is she DOING?" Kagura asked.

	"I tried to tell you all she did too many drugs in the 
sixties," Tadakichi said, but only Harima understood him.

	"Let her rest," Mashiro said.  "There will be work to 
do when we arrive."

	Yakumo carefully tucked a pillow under Osaka's chin, 
and turned to Harima.  "Kenji-kun, I..."

	He smiled at her.  "You look super-cute in that."

	She flushed red.  "Really?"

	"Really," he said.

	She smiled nervously.  "There is some way to stop 
this, right?  I don't see any brakes."

	"We just tell the dogs to stop," Harima said.  "Don't 
worry, I've got it covered."

	"People dog mush all the time," Masahiro said.  "We'll 
be fine."  

	"Okay, sempai," Yakumo said.  "I'm just a little 
nervous."

	"Don't worry," Harima said.  "Masahiro-san and I 
planned this in excruciating detail.  We'll be fine."  And if it 
wasn't, he could make Masahiro take all the blame.  Win 
either way.

*************

	"Harry, honey," Karen said to him a little later, as the 
band took a break while Sagano and Yuuki took Lala to 
bathe and change outfits.  "Can you try and find who sent 
that box to Lala?"

	"Probably Imadori," he said.  

	She sighed.  "I hope not.  But I'd be very grateful if 
you can find out."

	"Of course," he said, saluting, then kissing her.  "Shall 
we dance?"

	"Let's," Karen said.  

	They began circling the floor; she could see Hanai 
dancing with some woman...Miki, was that her name?  
Mikoto was dancing gracefully with Asou; they made a 
good dancing team, Karen thought.  Sara was off 
discoursing to several of the older guests, who seemed to 
find her fascinating.  

	Suga and Satsuki were dancing together, but they 
looked incredibly tense and alternated between getting 
closer and then suddenly jumping back to a formal length.

	"What's wrong?" Karen asked as she and Harry came 
up parallel.

	"Just a feeling like...nothing," Suga said, embarrassed.

	"Like you're going to be attacked?" Harry asked as he 
twirled Karen around; she slid under his legs and then 
flipped up his back to end up in front of him again, but now 
with her back to him, arms extended back to take his.

	"Yes," Satsuki mumbled.  "I know Father isn't here, 
but..."

	"Man, are you two still spazzing over that?" Harry 
asked.  "How would any of our parents suddenly show up 
here?"

	"True," Suga said, relaxing a little.  "Little danger of 
that."

	"Yes, we must be safe," Satsuki said.  "No danger.  
Really."  She laughed nervously.  "None at all."

***************

	Mr. Hanai pulled the reins, stopping the reindeer.  He 
peered through the falling snow at a half-frozen man 
leaning against a tree.  "Do you need some help?"

	"I got lost in the woods on the way to kill my 
daughter's boyfriend for being a pervert and getting too 
close to my daughter," the man said mournfully.

	"Hop in, we're the parental revenge club," Mr. 
Gonzales said.  "You can be one of our elves."

	The man peered at them.  "Is that you, Santa?" he said 
slightly hysterically.

	"Yes," Mr. Hanai said.  "We're on our way to give out 
some coal."

	"Good," the man said, then sat down on a bench.  "Are 
those real reindeer?"

	"Yes."

	"Shouldn't we be flying, then?" the half-frozen man 
asked as Mr. Gonzales began knocking the ice and snow 
off him.

	"Here, have some brandy," Mr. Gonzales said.  "You'll 
be flying pretty soon."

***************

	Eri stared out across the parking lot towards the forest.  
"Imadori, can you make out something there?"

	Imadori peered.  "Must be a late arriving guest."

	"What, moving through the woods with...are those 
dogs?"

	"Yes," Imadori said.  "Can't we get someone else to do 
door duty?  I'm tired of standing here and freezing."

	"Go tell Mother something is coming."

	He nodded and ran off.  Eri muttered a few words and 
her rifle appeared in her hand.  She'd managed to get this 
trick to work without blowing herself up, anyway.  Though 
it now hit her that using it on something full of tiny 
explosives was rather risky.  Too late now.

	She stood ready to defend the house.

************

	"Is that a RAMP?" Kagura asked.

	"Yes, we set it up so we could make a flying 
entrance," Harima said.

	"But...dogs can't fly," Kagura said.

	"That's why we have the ramp.  For a big jump that 
will look like landing from flying," Harima said.

	"We'll be the first dogs to fly!" Tadakichi barked, 
though only Harima understood him.  Well, and the other 
dogs.

	"Chiyo-chan will fly us out if anything goes wrong," 
Osaka pronounced.

	"Too late to turn back now," Harima said, then 
shouted, "RAMMING SPEED!"

	Osaka began beating on a drum as the dogs switched 
to double-time, barking to the beat as they raced down the 
ramp.  Kagura hid her face.  Masahiro suddenly realized 
what exactly he'd committed himself to and began to howl 
like a banshee as the dogs raced off the ramp and the sleigh 
was pulled airborne towards the house.

	Eri stared, rifle in hand, unable to shoot from sheer 
shock.  

	It was only as they began to descend that Harima 
realized they'd put too much force into it, and the whole 
thing was going to ram into the walls.  

	"Tell me this is part of the plan!" Kagura shouted over 
the wind.

	Miki is going to kill me if the house doesn't do the job 
first, Masahiro thought.

	Awesome, Osaka thought.  Everyone will notice us 
now.

	WHAT THE HELL?, Eri thought, staring at them.

	The world seemed to slow to a crawl, the wall 
inevitably closing in, the sleigh crawling towards the house 
as it arced, a green and a brown streak rushing out of the 
house, leaping into the air...

	And then Karen and Lala came up under the sleigh, 
impacting with maximum force, enough to lift the sleigh up 
so it flew over the house, then crashed down on the patio 
just outside the ballroom doors.

	Harry came running out of the party, along with Hanai 
and Mikoto, just in time for Masahiro to help the ladies out 
of the wreckage, while Harima lifted huge bags and 
shouted, "HO HO HO, SANTA IS HERE!"

	"Are you alright?" Masahiro asked Lala, worriedly, 
pulling her to her feet.

	"I'm fine," Lala said.  It suddenly hit her that he was 
quite a handsome man, and she flushed slightly, as he was 
holding her gently.
	
	"Good," he said, then bowed to them.  "Thank you, 
Karen-san, Lala-san."

	Karen peered at him in Santa suit with beard.  "You 
look vaguely familiar." 

	"I am Santa M and he is Santa K," Masahiro said, 
pointing to Harima.  "We are the Santa Corps."

	It did make sense you'd need more Santas with so 
many people in the world, Lala thought.  And they're not all 
old and fat either.  I'm surprised all the elves are female, 
though...

	"Get the presents!  It's distribution time!" Harima 
shouted, rounding up his elves and getting everyone into 
the ballroom, where the masses stopped to stare.

	"Ho, ho, ho, Santa is here with presents for all the 
good little girls and boys and coal and scorpions for the bad 
ones!" Harima shouted, taking the microphone off the 
stage.  "Everyone form a line, it's present time!"

	As the confused guests formed up, Harima was glad 
he'd listened to Chiyo-chan when she'd pointed out how 
many other guests there would be.  He hoped he had 
enough extra stockings, and was very glad she'd paid for 
him, as he was dead broke.  I owe the kid one, he thought.  
She's smart for a little kid.

	One by one, the line snaked past.  Most of the guests 
got a stocking full of candy and little generic presents 
(electronic hangman, an electric shaver, bubble-water for 
blowing bubbles, whistles, fancy pens, etc).  But some got 
hand-tailored gifts, either picked by Harima originally, or 
the result of consultation with Masahiro and Chiyo-chan 
and others.  

	Shinichi was surprised to find himself getting a golden 
baseball pin for his ties.  "Great!  Thanks, Santa!"

	Kasumi got a book titled 'Baseball Widows', and 
wasn't sure whether or not to be happy.

	Miki got a big 'ooooo' from the audience for kissing 
Santa M, and was quite pleased with the ruby ring that he 
gave her.  In fact...

	After several minutes of kissing, Yukari stomped her 
foot.  "Move along!  There's LOOT to be had!"

	Miki looked embarrassed.  "Sorry!"  She scampered 
off, smiling.

	Yukari stepped up, shoving out a hand.  "HIT ME!"

	Kagura lashed out to punch Yukari in the chest, only 
to be restrained by Sakaki, who shook her head.  
"Metaphor," Sakaki said.

	"Damn, chance missed," Kagura grumbled.

	Osaka handed a stocking to Santa K, who passed it to 
her.  "Merry Christmas, ho ho ho," Santa K said.

	Yukari was about to open it, then saw Chiyo-chan 
digging out presents.  "Do I know you?"

	"I'm Sparkles the Elf, ma'am.  I don't think we've 
met," Chiyo chirped.

	"Oh, okay," Yukari said, then emptied her stocking 
into her hand, getting a slightly crumbly black rock.  "What 
the hell is this?"

	"It's coal," Chiyo said.

	"Coal?  The girl before me got a ruby ring, dammit!  
WHERE IS MY JEWELRY!"

	"Well, if you apply enough heat and pressure, coal 
turns into diamonds..." Chiyo said nervously, pigtails 
flapping.

	"There's a fire over there," Osaka said helpfully.

	"Right!  I'm complaining to the Elven Better Business 
Bureau if this doesn't work," Yukari-sensei said, stomping 
off, grumbling.

	Masahiro was glad those two were on HIS side.

	Several people of no importance at all came forwards, 
and then Lala and Karen arrived at the head of the line.  
Santa K turned to Karen.  "Ho, ho, have you been good this 
year, little lady?"

	"I've tried," she said nervously.  "I mean, I did, 
umm..."  She began to laugh nervously.

	Santa K consulted his list.  "It says here you are 
always kind and gentle despite being able to rip off limbs 
and break people in half, so we have a nice present for 
you."  He passed her a very distended stocking; it looked 
like a red snake had swallowed a basketball.

	Meanwhile, Lala shifted on her feet in front of Santa 
M.  "I've been a good girl, haven't I?"  But had she?  She 
always got so angry and she kept getting in stupid fights 
and...  She suddenly felt very guilty.  I should go to 
confession with Sara after this, she thought, staring at the 
ground.

	Santa M took her by the chin and lifted it, then said to 
her, "You saved our lives.  I'd say that makes you a good 
girl.  And we have a present for you."

	He passed her a stocking out of which poked the foot 
of a long bodystocking.  

	Karen managed to fish out her present, a motorcycle 
helmet with a big 'K + H' painted on it inside a heart.  She 
blushed slightly.  "Thank you, Santa."

	"Cool!" Harry shouted from further down the line; she 
blushed more.

	Lala pulled out the elaborately painted body stocking, 
which was decorated to resemble a panther's fur.  The 
matching wrestling mask was done up as a panther's face.  
"Ooooh, thank you, Santa!"  She grabbed him and stole a 
kiss.

	Miki froze up, staring.

	Santa M froze up, too busy being kissed to stare.

	Karin froze up, staring.  

	Mikoto froze up, feeling a sudden surge of anger.  
She's making moves at Masahiro, she thought.  She can't 
stay away from anyone's boyfriend!

	Yukari shouted, "Help, MY COAL IS ON FIRE!"  
She stood by the fireplace, holding it with huge tongs, as 
she tried to apply pressure on it by pushing it against the 
burning wood.

	Nyamo quietly slapped her forehead.
	
	Umino started to say something, then just shook his 
head.

	Lala skipped off happily with her costume.

	Miki vibrated like a struck bell.

	Karen followed Lala quietly, trying to decide if Lala 
was driven to chase other people's boyfriends by instinct or 
nurture.

	Santa M said, "I...uh...ahaha...next," he mumbled.
	
	More gift-giving ensued, and soon Eri's parents came 
to the head of the line.  Santa M passed Mr. Sawachika a 
stocking which contained a day planner, some expensive 
chocolate, and...a free coupon for hugs.  He stared at it, and 
Osaka smiled broadly at him.  That had been her idea.

	Mrs. Sawachika studied Santa K curiously.  "So, you 
look rather young for Santa."

	Santa K stroked his beard thoughtfully as Elf Yakumo 
passed him a stocking, which he presented to her.  "I 
wouldn't have a long grey beard if I was a youngster."

	"So I've never seen you in drag?" she asked.

	"I am quite sure you've never seen anyone drag me 
around," Santa K said, keeping up his cool facade.  

	There was a moment of silence.

	"My little book says you've been very naughty, 
forcing your daughter to be engaged to a breast-chasing 
pervert," Santa K said.

	"But at least I haven't disguised myself to sneak into 
other people's houses," she said coolly.  "Or committed 
Offense 2345-D, 'Impersonation of a Mythic Being'."

	She was ruining his monologue, dammit.

	"But my kindly elf, Elf C, insisted I should be 
merciful," he said, patting Elf C (Chiyo-chan) on the head.  
"So here you go."

	And then she opened the stocking, which was full of 
expensive European candies, a silver rose broach, a 
matching red gold pendant, what looked like a hand-bound 
short manga, and a coupon book for ramen places.

	She took out the manga and flipped through it quickly; 
the art was very good, and it told the tale of how a rich 
woman had ruined her family by engaging her daughter to a 
breast-chasing pervert.  It ended with the mansion on fire 
and him running off with everyone's underwear.

	He really doesn't give up, she thought.  Well, I'll let it 
slide for now, as I think my guests are enjoying this.  
"Thank you, Santa," she said, and moved on.

	Many more guests came by, skimmed over to save on 
the animation budget.  CUE MONTAGE.

	When the montage ended, Eri nervously stepped up to 
Santa K, while Imadori stepped up to Santa M.  "I'm 
ready," Imadori said.

	Santa M passed him the stocking labelled 'Punk Ass 
Imadori the booty chaser'.  

	"It's nice to be known," he said, then opened it.  "Is 
this coal all the way down?"

	"Turtles," Osaka said. "It's TURTLES all the way 
down."

	Imadori looked at her, then pulled out a lump of coal, 
turning it over and over.  "This is a turtle?"

	Osaka shook her head.  "No."

	"But you said..."

	"It's turtles all the way down," Osaka said.  "Everyone 
knows that."

	Imadori started to protest, gazed into her empty eyes, 
and decided to bail while the bailing was still possible, 
before she sucked out his soul with her stare or something.

	Eri licked her lips nervously, then said, "I'm ready, 
Santa."

	Distantly, Tadakichi began to bark, along with the 
other dogs outside.

	Santa K said, "Have you been a good girl, Eri-chan?"

	CHAN?  She started to get mad, then realized he was 
'in character'.  She smiled and said, "Yes, I have."

	"Then here is your present."  He took the stocking 
from Elf Y, then passed it to her.  

	It contained two baseball tickets to a game in March, a 
copy of 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance', a toy 
motorcycle, a blonde lego woman with a little lego rifle, 
and a pair of matching silver bracelets with emeralds set in 
them.  Engraved on the inside, in tiny letters were the 
phrases, ' I never believed in things that I couldn’t see / I 
said if I can’t feel it then how can it be ' and ' No, no magic 
could happen to me / And then I saw you '.

	Eri stared at them.  How can Kenji possibly afford 
this?  Unless Mihama-san helped him, but...she felt a 
moment of guilt.  "These are really nice, Santa," she said.

	"You've been a very good girl, and Christmas comes 
but once a year," Santa K said.  And now EVERYONE 
OWNS MY ASS.  But it'll be worth it.

	The dogs continued to bark, and Elf C ran outside to 
try and calm them down.

	"You're very sweet, Santa," she said softly, then went 
up on her toes to kiss him.

	Elf Y froze up, staring at this.

	Her moment of romance and the accompanying 'oohs' 
and 'aahs' from the audience were interrupted, however, by 
a sled and a horde of reindeer crashing through the main 
window, followed by lots and lots of violence.

	And a scene transition.

***************
	
	"You can't just tie me up!" Yuri said to her parents.

	"It's for your own good," her father said.  "We have to 
deprogram you."

	"I AM NOT A COMPUTER!" Yuri shouted.

	"..."

	"Honey," Yuri's mother said, stepping across the 
living room with a bowl of soup.  "Here's your dinner.  And 
I'm not crazy.  I know I didn't give birth to a computer.  
You're my own sweet girl, but you've been led astray by 
that evil witch and her boy-toy," Yuri's mother continued, 
now reaching her daughter.

	Yuri didn't fight being fed; she was pretty hungry by 
now.

	"See, isn't that much better?" Yuri's mother asked 
kindly.

	"Thank you very much for the soup, mama," Yuri 
said.  It was best to be polite to one's parents when 
possible, after all.

	"You're welcome, dear."

	"Now, untie me before the police come and arrest 
you," Yuri said.  

	"I'm sorry, dear, but the police are in on this," Yuri's 
mother said.  "We don't supply them with free donuts for 
nothing."

	There was a rattling noise in the chimney.  Yuri's 
father blinked and went over; ashes fell on his face.  "What 
the..."

	They heard Tani's voice echo.  "Dammit, I'm stuck!" 
he shouted from inside the chimney.

	"Ahah," Yuri's father said.  "Time to smoke the 
intruder out."

	He started up the fire, and soon, they could hear Tani 
yelling about hot-seats.  However, there was one big 
problem--all the smoke billowed back into the living room, 
and soon they were all coughing from it.

	Yuri's parents fled, leaving her tied to the chair and 
choking.

	"HEY!"

	Her father turned back and began dragging her out of 
the room, still tied to the chair, but the smoke was getting 
to him.

	"Papa, if you untie me, this will be a lot easier."

	"Can't let them...get you..."

	"I don't think he's going to jump down the chimney 
when there's a fire under him!" Yuri said.  

	"He was always good at bluffing..." her father said 
hesitantly.

	"DADDY!"

	He quickly loosened the knots.  She wrenched herself 
loose and ran back, dumping sand on the fire to put it out.

	"Tanisa, are you okay?" she shouted.

	"NOT OKAY AT ALL, but not dying," Tani shouted.

	"You weren't supposed to put out the fire!," her father 
said.

	She went over and shook him.  "Stop acting crazy!  If 
you want to disown me, just do it!  But stop acting like a 
madman!"

	"We just want you back the way you were," her father 
said sadly.

	"I hated that; I was slowly going crazy," Yuri said.  "I 
can't live like that, any more.  You may not like it, but it's 
just the way it is."

	"AHH!"  They heard Yuri's mother yell from the 
kitchen, so they ran to the kitchen and found her facing off 
with an angry Tae, who was wearing a Santa suit.

	"Get out of my house!" Yuri's mother yelled.

	"Hi, Yuri.  I think we're going to have to somehow 
push Tanisa back up a bit so he can get out," Tae said 
cheerfully to Yuri, then scowled at her mother.  "Just let me 
by and we'll be out of here quickly."

	Yuri's father sighed.  "Come on, honey, let's get Tani-
chan out of the chimney."

	"Well, we're gonna lose the rental on his Santa suit," 
Tae mumbled.

	"You two were going to try and rescue me as Mr. and 
Mrs. Claus?" Yuri asked, taking her hand.

	Her parents twitched visibly.

	"We were kind of hoping they'd...okay, stupid plan," 
Tae said, sighing.

	"Let's find a broom or something, see if we can push 
him out," Yuri said, leaving her parents to brood as she 
went with Tae to rescue their boyfriend.

***************
	
	People ran everywhere in a panicked frenzy; Satsuki's 
father sent Sara, Satsuki, Suga, and Asou fleeing deeper 
into the lounge as he chased them, howling 'REDRUM' and 
'SUGA MUST PAY!'

	Lala leaped at her father, grappling in the air with him.  
"You can't attack Santa Claus!  Have you been taking your 
medication?" she shouted.

	"He's not Santa Claus!  That's your classmate Harima 
and Mikoto's harem boy!" Mr. Gonzales shouted.  

	"Liar!  You're flashing back to when you fought Dark 
Santa the Reaper again!" Lala shouted.  She couldn't have 
kissed anything Mikoto wanted, and if she'd kissed Harima, 
she'd have to kill herself now, so clearly it couldn't be true.  
Well, she could kiss Hanai, but he wasn't a 'harem boy'.  
She tried to put him in a sleeper hold, but he seized her and 
came down for a DDT as Karen ran to her aid.

	Meanwhile, Osaka had flipped out.  "CHARLIE'S IN 
THE WALLS!", she shouted, taking cover inside her 
group's carriage and trying to repel the NVA with thrown 
candy.

	"No, no, this isn't that movie!" Chiyo said, trying to 
get her to stop.  "You're not going down the chocolate pipe 
again, Osaka-chan!"  Shake, shake!

	"Father, you're wrecking everything!" Hanai shouted.  

	"You've got to learn to focus on just one woman, 
boy!"  Security men closed in and dogpiled Mr. Hanai.

	There was a moment of silence.

	And then they exploded in all directions, careening off 
the walls to converge on where Hanai was.  But he'd 
already leaped upwards and flew over them, then came 
down on his father, who caught him and spun, hurling him 
at the drink bar; it shattered and Hanai ended up with 52 
flavors.

	Mrs. Sawachika said, "Alright, that hangs it.  
Kyousuke!"

	Imadori froze up in the middle of trying to sneak out.  
"Yes, Mother?" he mumbled.

	"Deal with the intruders."

	"WHAT?" Imadori said.

	"If you wish to marry into this family, you must learn 
how to stop invasions," Mrs. Sawachika said firmly.

	"But..."

	"Now," she said firmly again.

	He gulped.  This left him only one option.  Saints and 
gods protect me, he thought.  I'm going in.

	The riot continued, and now the band began to play 
fight music, though they had no singer, as Karen and Lala 
were trying to fight Mr. Gonzales.  Mikoto and Hanai were 
fighting Mr. Hanai.  

	Eri said to Harima, "DO SOMETHING."

	"Hey, this isn't my fight," he said.  "They'd get 
pissed."

	It suddenly hit Eri that she hadn't gotten Harima a 
Christmas present, as she'd expected to not be able to see 
him.  Dammit!  "You stop them while I go get your 
Christmas present."

	"Santa is supposed to remain neutral," he said, 
stroking his beard.  

	Eri rose up over him like the face of doom itself.  
"STOP THEM BEFORE THEY LEVEL MY HOUSE!  
And aren't they wrecking your big show?"

	They were.  All the presents they couldn't give out, 
wasting Mihama-san's money, being in debt for ALL 
ETERNITY.  He had to act and act now.  "Alright, I will 
deal with this as Santa should."

	He got a megaphone and shouted through it.  "THIS IS 
SANTA!  ANYONE WHO KEEPS ON FIGHTING IS 
GOING TO GET COAL!"

	Satsuki's father stopped.  "Coal...but...I'm just trying to 
protect my daughter!"

	"I can protect myself, Daddy!" Satsuki said.

	"Yeah!" Suga said.  "And I'll protect her!"

	"You can't really protect her from you, Suga-kun," 
Asou pointed out.

	"Dammit."

	Imadori resurfaced, now in his catboy outfit.  He 
posed in front of Elf Sakaki, trying to look like a wounded 
animal.  "The bad man hurt me..." he mumbled, trying to 
sound pained.

	Sakaki froze, then said, "Who hurt you?"  She seemed 
to be trembling.

	Imadori suddenly felt very guilty about likely sending 
her to her death like this, but he didn't know what else he 
could do.  "The bad man."  He pointed at Mr. Gonzales.  At 
least he could save two pretty women this way.

	Sakaki's face darkened.  "Kagura," she said.

	"What?" Elf Kagura asked.

	"Help me kill him," Sakaki said mournfully.

	Kagura slammed her fists together.  "Alright!  
Whoever takes him out wins, right?"

	"As you wish," Sakaki said, then charged.  Kagura 
charged with her.

	Mr. Gonzales had pinned Lala to the ground with one 
foot and was struggling to get Karen off his torso when 
Sakaki and Kagura arrived.  He kicked Lala into Kagura, 
sending both tumbling, but then Sakaki hit him like a ton of 
bricks.  He quickly grabbed and threw her into the crowd, 
but now Karen was moving up onto his shoulders, legs 
around his neck and somehow twisting, getting impossible 
leverage, to send him flying.

	"You're going to have to do more than that," Mrs. 
Sawachika told Harima.  Eri had gone off to find the non-
existent present.

	"What is this, some kind of Santa test?" Harima 
protested.

	"YES," she said balefully.

	Elf Yakumo started to speak, then hesitated; she 
wanted to help Kenji, but not to get him in good with her 
rival's parents.

	Harima thought quickly.  Hanai probably deserved the 
beating he was getting, but Sakaki had gotten clobbered 
after coming to help him, Harima, when she didn't have to.  
Also, Mr. Gonzales had a weakness...

	He ran to the bar and poured some of everything into a 
huge bowl, then ran towards the Mr. Gonzales brawl.  
"Alcohol..."  he said in a sing-song voice.

	Mr. Gonzales' eyes lit up.  "Alcohol!"  he charged 
towards it while Lala tried to hold him back.  

 	"No, Papa, don't start drinking again!" Lala shouted.

	He strained at Karen and Lala trying to hold him back 
as Harima began to drift towards the door with the huge 
bowl.  "It wants me!," he shouted.

	 "Come to me, trust in me..." Harima sang in a sing-
song voice, gently swaying the bowl.

	Slowly, Mr. Gonzales dragged Karen and Lala across 
the floor.  "I'm coming!"

	"VENGEANCE FOR KITTENS!" Sakaki shouted, 
throwing herself across the floor against his back; he broke 
free and went flying across the room, landing face first in 
the bowl just as Harima flung it out into the snow; he went 
flying with it.

	Then Harima peered out into the snowy night.

	"Uh oh," he said.

	"Uh oh?", Elf Yakumo asked.

	"ANGRY BUNNIES ARE COMING."

	Mrs. Sawachika buried her face in her hands.  At this 
rate, no one will want to come to our parties anymore.

**************	
	
	Yuri sighed and sipped her hot chocolate as Tae and 
her mother tried to clean the ashes off Tani's rented Santa 
suit.

	"It's beyond hope," her mother said, sighing.  
"Couldn't you have just climbed in a window?"

	"So I could look like a burglar?" Tani asked.

	Yuri's father sat at the kitchen table nearby, alternating 
between donut holes and shots of vodka.  The vodka was 
winning.

	"Are you really leaving?" Yuri's mother finally asked.

	"Yes," Yuri said.  "You can't stop me."

	"Fine," her mother said.  "Do what you want."  She 
sounded irritated and stubborn.

	This was, however, a step up.  

	Maybe she'll understand one day, Yuri thought.  She 
hoped so.

*****************
	
	Harima took up a defensive position at the door.  
"ELVES, TO ME!"

	Sakaki, Osaka, Chiyo-chan, Kagura, Tenma, Yakumo, 
Masahiro, Akira, and Nara quickly reached the door while 
brawling continued inside behind them.  

	They stared out into the snow; hundreds of angry 
rabbits were swarming forward, being herded by humanoid 
rabbits armed with katanas.  

	Osaka said, "Wow, this is even more vivid and real 
than usual."

	"Talk to them, Harima," Kagura said.  "Here's your 
chance to show you're not a fraud who makes people think 
they're dogs!"

	"HALT!" he cried out.

	The horde of rabbits halted, with the humanoid ones 
shouting at them to resume the charge.

	"Why are you attacking?"

	"We've come to punish the Hanai clan for slaughtering 
our kin," one of the rabbits said.

	"What about the rest of us?" Harima asked.

	"We're just after the glasses-boy and his gang."

	"Oh, well, in that case, be my...," Harima started to 
say.

	"We can't just let them attack Hanai-san!" Tenma said.

	"We can't?" Harima asked.  "It's not wise to get in the 
middle of people's personal business."

	"Mikoto-chan might get hurt!" Tenma said.  "And it 
will ruin the party."

	"Can you come back when the party is over?" Harima 
asked.  

	"Kill them now!  He's just trying to trick you!" one of 
the humanoid rabbits shouted.

	Akira frowned.  "Those aren't rabbit-men...they are 
ninjas in disguise."

	"Ninjas?  NINJAS ATTACKING ERI'S PARTY?" 
Harima bellowed.

	The rabbit-men all stepped back nervously.

	"But why would ninja rabbits attack Sawachika-san's 
party?" Kagura asked.

	"My rabbit friends, you have been led astray by ninjas 
who would use you as tools!" Santa Karima shouted.  
"They would see you turned into lucky feet for their own 
benefit, that they might then attack their foes, the 
Sawachika clan, once you've all been slaughtered, after 
you've all weakened the Sawachika family."

	The rabbits turned and looked at the rabbit-men 
suspiciously.  "We have no quarrel with the Sawachika 
clan."

	"He's lying!" one of the rabbit-men shouted.  "I'm sure 
he likes to eat tasty bunnies."

	"He is a friend to all animals!" Elf Yakumo said 
firmly.  

	Tadakichi nodded, and barked, "He is a very good 
person and honest and trustworthy."

	Elf Osaka suddenly pulled a butcher knife out of a 
stocking.  "I'll show you!"

	She charged at a rabbit man who froze up, staring at 
her.  Her eyes were cold and empty, her smile a hideous 
curve on her face with no warmth behind it.  She probably 
murdered her own siblings, he realized.  And now she's 
coming for me.

	He tried to run, but fear paralyzed him.  Her 
movements were totally unpredictable, as if the mere 
workings of chance.  As if no mind at all guided her steps.  

	Then the knife came up, slicing off his fake head; she 
pulled off the rabbit hood, revealing a black wrapped ninja 
head.  "Look, it's chocolate!"

	Beat.

	"I mean, a ninja!"

	"LIARS!  NOW YOU PAY!" one of the rabbits 
shouted.

	And then they swarmed over the ninjas, eating their 
costumes and uniforms and driving them off naked through 
the snow.

	"VICTORY!" Harima proclaimed.  He turned, seeing 
Hanai and Mikoto still fighting Mr. Hanai.  He strode over 
and pointed at Mr. Hanai, who was still wearing a Santa 
outfit.  "My beard is longer than yours, therefore you must 
obey me!"

	Mr. Hanai looked down and saw his fake beard had 
been torn off him and he had only a goatee left.  "Dammit!  
Alright, you win, Santa."  He stopped fighting.

	"So, _Santa_, you have defeated the invasions.  You 
seek, then, to challenge my daughter's engagement to 
Kyousuke-kun?" Mrs. Sawachika asked.

	"I cannot tolerate her being forced to marry a breast-
grabbing pervert!" Harima said.

	"Fine.  We will have an engagement olympics 
competition, then.  The winner of the most events will have 
the right to either marry my daughter or set her free.  Until 
then, she will continue to be Kyousuke's fiancee."

	"Fair enough.  When do we start?"

	"I will set up the first event by New Years," Mrs. 
Sawachika said.  

	Is he...Yakumo felt a moment of panic.  Did this mean 
we're over?  Or is he just trying to set her free?  What if 
he...

	She only had one choice, really.  To win these games 
herself, so as to ensure Kenji wasn't tempted to marry Eri.  
She would fight for their future!

	"Until then, you can dance with us.  Let's get this party 
going again," Mrs. Sawachika said, sending some of her 
servants and security to begin fixing the damage of combat.  
"Band...Do you have a name?"

	"THE BUTTS!" Tomo shouted.

	"I still like 'Six Yen None the Richer'," Fuyuki said.

	"Led Zeppelin," Karasuma said.

	"Sagano's Harem," Sagano said.

	"Yuuki's Harem," Yuuki said.

	"Fruitcake Poisoner Squad," Tomo grumbled.

	"We're The Band With No Name," Sagano said.

	"I like that," Mrs. Sawchika said.  "You could name 
your first album 'Untitled'."

	"Oooh, I like that," Sagano said.  "There we go, we 
have a name now."

	"Give us some good Christmas music, won't you?"

	"Most certainly," Karen said.  

	"Let the festivities resume!"

************** 
	
	Hanai felt confused.  "Where are we going, Nara?"  

	Nara had come over to him, post-fighting, and dragged 
him off to the parlor.

	There, he found Akira waiting with two glasses of tea.  
Hanai felt nervous now, wondering if they were about to 
re-enact the Sicilian scene from The Princess Bride.    
	
	His nerves got worse when she pushed both glasses 
towards him and said, "Pick one."

	Feeling his nerves jingle jangle jingle, he warily 
reached towards the one on the right.  But maybe she 
expected him to take that one, so maybe she'd spiked it.  
But it was also possible that she'd anticipated that and 
spiked the one on the left.  So he should take the one on the 
right.

	But then, if she anticipated him going two steps of 
logic, she might figure out he would know not to take the 
one on the left, but the one on the right, and thus had 
actually spiked it after all!

	How TRICKY of her.  

	Only one solution, really.

	He reached down and shuffled the cups around very 
quickly, then said to her, "Pick one."

	She stared at the tea, then at him, then said, "They 
didn't need to be stirred."

	"Pick one," he repeated.

	She sighed and took the one on the right, then added a 
little lemon to it.  He did likewise; it might be an antidote 
lemon.

	She began to stir her cup gently; he did likewise.  

	She rapped it three times on the table; he did the same.

	Finally, she said, "Is there some reason you're 
imitating me?"  Her face was very blank.

	"Is there some..." he began, then made himself stop.  
"No."

	She cocked her head slightly, then stared down at her 
tea, sipping it.  "Look, Hanai-san, I know we've gotten 
along poorly in the past."

	Sip.  "You could say that," he said.

	She took a deep draught, only to find herself out of 
tea, so she poured more.  "Well, you've mostly been good 
about not retaliating," she said.  "Mostly."

	He took another sip.  "You were usually the one 
attacking me."  He tried to rein in his irritation.  

	There was silence and the sipping of tea. 

	Finally, she said, "You are correct.  I was taking out 
my frustrations on you.  It was...a mistake."

	Startled, Hanai looked up, trying to read her face.  She 
was staring blankly down at her tea cup.  

	"I have always tended to tease people too much 
because I didn't know how else to get their attention," Akira 
mumbled at her glass.

	"Get my attention?  You could just say hello," Hanai 
said, puzzled.  "You don't seem to harass Tsukamoto-san, 
Mikoto-kun, and Sawachika-san constantly."

	"Well, I do tease them some," Akira said.  "But..."  
She finished her tea and started a third cup, vibrating 
gently.

	"You look a little overcaff...," he began.

	"It's tea.  I can handle any amount of tea," she said.

	"Oh really?" Hanai said, suddenly feeling competitive.  
"We'll SEE, then."  

	Akira felt a gentle pang of doom.

***************
	
	"So who is this Yukari woman?" Mrs. Sawachika 
asked Umino.

	"She teaches English at Nyamo-san's school," he said.  
"They're old friends.  I think she's a little brain damaged, 
but usually, Nyamo-san keeps her in line."  He sipped his 
champagne and watched Nyamo dancing with one of 
Umino's uncles.  One of the sober ones, thankfully.  A tiny 
part of the back of his mind was contemplating better ways 
to make bread to smother someone.  But only the tiny 
compulsive tinkering part.

	Mrs. Sawachika said, "She seems to have rather a 
crush on my daughter's fiancee despite the age difference."  
She watched Imadori dance with a drunken Yukari.  
Despite her flailing, he somehow kept her from hitting 
anyone.  

	"She has it BAD for him.  Probably because their 
mental age is the same," Umino said, putting down his 
glass and getting a little cake off the table.  It was sugary 
good.

	Mrs. Sawachika frowned.  "No discretion."  She shook 
her head.  "Best not to tempt him.  We need to encourage 
her to...go."

	"Hmm.  If she's thrown out, my date will probably 
want to leave, though," Umino said.

	"Well, see if you can keep her contained and away 
from Kyousuke, so she won't try to molest him," Mrs. 
Sawachika said.

	Umino nodded.  "I can do that."

	"So tell me about your new ladyfriend," Mrs. 
Sawachika said.

	"She's hard working and very dedicated and athletic.  
Her students love her and she's a person who can be relied 
on.  I like her a lot," Umino said, watching her dance.

	"Do you think she's pretty?" Mrs. Sawachika asked.

	"She's nice enough to look at, but Yukari would be 
prettier if she wasn't usually angry or drunk.  But I guess 
I'm getting old enough to notice other qualities," Umino 
said.

	Mrs. Sawachika laughed and put a hand on his 
shoulder.  "You've definitely changed, then."

	"I'm trying," he said.

	"Well, all young men are too easily enticed for their 
own good," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "It's why we have to 
watch over and shield them.  A woman's work is never 
done."

	"Would it be possible for us to stay here tonight?  I 
suspect Yukari will end up too drunk for travel."

	"Yes, we have room, I think," Mrs. Sawachika said.  
"Just be discreet."

	"Of course.  I always am, aren't I?"

	Not really, she thought.  "Of course.  Well, I should 
mingle."

	"And I," he said.  "See you later."  And he went off to 
find someone to dance with.

	Mrs. Sawachika watched him go.  Kyousuke's a lot 
like you were at that age, Umino.  I hope he manages to 
grow up like you did and not like...

	"Hey, babe, what's your sign?" her nephew Ataru said 
to one of Mrs. Sawachika's guests from Scandanavia.

	A woman's work is never done, Mrs. Sawachika 
thought as she swooped in for damage control.

****************

	"Where is Akira, dammit?" Eri said as she took 
another shot of whiskey.  

	Mikoto and Tenma hovered near her.  "I think she 
went to freshen up or something," Mikoto said.

	"I need a mighty brain to help me out of this," Eri said 
angrily.

	"Sawachika," Asou said.

	They all jumped, not having heard him come up.  
"Yes?" Eri said.

	"You have my support, for what it is worth," Asou 
said.  "This contest of your mother's is ridiculous.  To 
engage a child according to one's own will has some 
tradition backing it, but making you a prize is very low."

	"Didn't you end up dating one of the women who 
fought over you anyway?" Eri asked.

	"Yes, but I liked her before the contest," Asou said.  
"Anyway, while I don't know if I can help you in any way, 
I will if I can."

	Eri felt flattered.  "Thank you, Asou.  You can ask 
Sara to pray for me, anyway."

	"I will," he said, looking a little nervous.  But then, he 
said, "Isn't Harima dating your sister, Tsukamoto-san?"

	Tenma grimaced.  "Yes.  I don't know what he thinks 
he's doing."

	"He's getting me out of slavery!" Eri said.

	Tenma then looked very torn.  He should be faithful to 
my sister...but only he can set Eri free...but what if they run 
off together and become ice gypsies?  She could almost 
hear the violin music.

	And the ice weasels.  Outside...in the snow...coming 
closer...closer...

	Tenma turned to bolt towards the door.  Mikoto 
snagged her by the arm.  "There are no ice gypsies," 
Mikoto said.  "Asou, can you find her boyfriend?"

	Asou nodded and headed for the bandstand.

	"I'm not going into withdrawal from watching other 
people dance while my boyfriend is busy," Tenma said 
stubbornly.

	Where is Harima, Eri suddenly wondered.  We could 
dance together and...

	She could see him with his elves, circulating with a 
list, trying to finish giving out presents.  

	Eri shook her head.  How did he afford all that?  
Surely Mihama-san didn't pay for it all.  Unless she has a 
crush on him like Sakaki-san may and...

	Eri took another shot of whiskey.  The day I'm jealous 
of someone who looks half my age is the day I run away to 
Alaska and become a penguin herder.  

	She glanced down the bar and saw Yukari watching 
her angrily, drinking and talking to two other adults.  Eri 
snarled at her and Yukari snarled back.  Stupid teacher after 
my fiancee when she's twice his age, Eri thought.  You'll 
have him over my dead body, shouta-con woman!

	They glared at each other and it shaded quickly into a 
staring contest they were both determined to win.

**************
	
	Hanai looked curiously at the dense sludge Akira had 
brewed up, while he stirred his own overly condensed 
muck.  "Is that tea or proto-gasoline?"

	"It will be more tea than you can handle," Akira 
replied, frowning.

	Soon, they were both done, and they poured each 
other a glass of super concentrated...sort of tea concoction 
sludge thing.  They both would have to eat with a spoon.  

	"On THREE, we begin," Harima said.

	"One," she said.

	"Two," he said.

	"Three."

	They began shovelling highly concentrated tea into 
their mouths, both determined to show the other up.  The 
problem was that it was hard to swallow, and finally, they 
both had to get big glasses of water to wash it all down.

	"That was easy," Hanai said, his legs jittering.

	"I certainly don't feel anything," Akira said.  "My 
spleen is not attempting a prison break."  Her arms shook 
as she tried to pour herself more tea.

	"Nor my liver," Hanai said.  His whole body was 
shaking.  "I'm just having a few pitchers of water because I 
like the taste."

	"Exactly.  It brings out the flavor," Akira said, 
bouncing in her chair.

	Tomo opened the door.  "Dammit, this isn't the 
bathroom either."  She looked at them.  "You two on 
drugs?"

	"We are enjoying a quiet cup of tea," Hanai said.  He 
got up and started doing jumping jacks; he felt THAT 
energetic.

	"Exactly," Akira said, visibly shivering.

	DRUGS, Tomo thought.  They're stoned on DSL!  
Going to have to tell everyone I see in case it's infectious.  
"Right.  See you later."

	She left, leaving Hanai and Akira vibrating.  "You're 
shaking.  You lose."

	"You are doing jumping jacks.  I think you lose," she 
said.

	He paced back and forth, forward and back.  "So why 
did you want to talk to me, anyway?"

	"I wanted to...tell you I regret my past cruelties to you.  
I will try to restrain myself in the future," Akira said, trying 
to hold the table to keep it from shaking as her knees hit it.

	"Thank you," he said.  "Is that all?"

	She licked her lips nervously, then mumbled, "I have a 
huge crush on you."

	"There's what on me?" he asked, trying to brush it off 
his expensive suit, whatever it was.

	"That's not what I said."  She stared into her cup.

	He kept trying to knock the thing off for a bit, and 
finally, she said, "I kept trying to be cruel in order to drive 
you away because I...I didn't want to mess things up for 
you and Mikoto.  And because you were driving Yakumo 
crazy."

	He paused.  "Er, what?"

	"Are you listening to anything I say?" she said, voice 
rising.

	"I'm trying but...did I get the thing off me?" Hanai 
asked.

	Urge to kill, rising.

	Could nothing get through to this man?  Akira 
struggled with herself.  How can I find such a dunderhead 
attractive?  Nara is twenty times smarter than this idiot, but 
he keeps wrapping us all around his little finger.  Even 
now, shaking like a crack whore in withdrawal, he was 
handsome to her.  So hard working...dedicated...a good 
student...a man you could rely on.  EXCEPT TO LISTEN 
TO YOU.

	"Can't you tell I think you're handsome, you idiot?  
Why do you have to be so attractive when I have a 
boyfriend?  Why won't you get out of my head?" Akira 
shouted, unable to hold it in any longer; she was shaking, 
and grabbed the kitchen counter to try to make herself stop.

	Hanai froze up, utterly still, like a deer in headlights.  
"Say what?"

	"I tried to drive you away so I wouldn't be tempted to 
try and steal you away from Mikoto," Akira said, slumping 
over, forehead on the counter.  "That's why I was always so 
mean to you."

	"..."  Hanai stared at her, frozen and gaping.

	Akira continued to clutch the counter, hunched over it.  
"So, there you go.  Now you know."

	"Why are you telling me this now?" Hanai mumbled, 
shaking, his legs twitching like Saint Vitus' dance.

	"Because I had to let it out so I can forget about it and 
be content with Nara," Akira said, her voice tense.

	"You're not going to, like, invite us to sleep with you 
and Nara or something?" he babbled.

	Her leg shook, kicking the counter.  She resolved 
never to be macho about tea again.  "Would you say yes?" 
she fired back, then staggered over to pour two big glasses 
of water.

	He stood, frozen, as she then brought him a glass.  
They both drank deeply, shaking.  It didn't seem to help 
much.  

	Akira tried to focus.  Coffee to deal with...no, 
caffieine.  Caffeine BAD.

	"You want...us..."  Hanai's eyes crossed and he fell 
over, but he couldn't actually faint with so much caffiene in 
his system.  
	
	"I was just..."  Her body shook and she couldn't tell if 
it was fear or just being wired.  "You're the one that thinks 
we want to sleep with you two!  You brought it up!"  She 
hadn't thought about the idea much at all.  The very thought 
of it alternately panicked and enticed her.  

	"You just got finished dragging me in here and telling 
me that you want my body even though you always treat 
me like garbage!  I'm pretty damn sick of the way you treat 
me all the time!"  Hanai, feeling emotionally panicked 
himself, now swung over to anger, which was soothing and 
safe in its own way.

	"I already explained that!" Akira shouted back at him, 
trying to straighten up, but she twitched too much if she let 
go of the nice, stable counter.

	"But you certainly didn't apologize for any of it.  What 
have I ever done to you?" Hanai thundered back.

	Nothing, really.  He never retaliated, never screwed 
with her, just patiently put up with it.  Whereas, she had 
been so bad to him, even though he was the boyfriend of 
one of her dearest friends and was a hard-working, honest, 
trustworthy man...except when it came to Yakumo, but he 
was done with that now.

	She wanted to yell back at him, but she didn't have 
anything to yell.  He hadn't done anything.  To her, 
anyway.  He really needed to stop letting women chase 
him.

	Like her.

	She wanted to speak, but no sounds would come out 
and she didn't know what she would say.  Finally, though, 
she said, "You need to stop leading women on!"

	"I NEVER LED YOU ON IN MY LIFE!" he yelled 
back, loud enough to wake the dead, just as some of the 
servants hauled a load of dirty dishes into the kitchen.

	Both of them froze up as people arrived; the servants 
froze up as well.

	And then everyone ran away, on general principle.

************

	"Look, your boyfriend and your ugly friend are busy 
taking drugs in the kitchen," Tomo said to Mikoto in the 
ballroom.  "They're way gone on DSL."

	"Err, what?" Eri asked.

	"But they weren't even alive in the sixties," Tenma 
said.

	Nara glowered at Tomo.  "She is not ugly."

	"Anyway, I think they must have overdosed, as they're 
all jittery like they're about to explode, Scanners-style," 
Tomo said.  "Not that I care, but I figure you do."

	"Sounds like a tea accident to me," Tenma said.  "Like 
the time I put too many tea bags in the tea."

	A little louder, Nara said, "She is NOT ugly."

	Mikoto said, "Please don't insult my friend and my 
boyfriend, Tomo."  She had a bad feeling Nara was going 
to get very angry and probably get beaten up if Tomo didn't 
apologize.

	"Just telling it like it is," Tomo said.  "Anyway, I've 
done my good deed for the night, now I have bad deeds to 
do.  Adios!"  She turned to go.

	Nara put a hand on her shoulder.  "I can't let you just 
walk away after saying that about Akira."

	"Sure you can," Tomo said, brushing his hand off.

	"The idiotic flunk-out isn't worth your time, Nara," 
Mikoto said.  "Just let her go."

	He knew he ought to, and that it was generally 
impolitic for a man to hit a woman, even if women didn't 
seem to hesitate to hit men.  But he couldn't just let an 
insult to Akira go unpunished.

	"You're right, she's too ugly and stupid to be worth my 
time," he said.

	"I am not ugly!" she said.  "I'm better looking than any 
of YOU!"

	"Which is why we all have lovers and you don't?" 
Mikoto asked.

	"Two or maybe three in Mikoto's case," Eri pointed 
out helpfully.

	"I am three thousand times prettier than your ugly 
drug-addicted girlfriend!" Tomo said.  "And no one can 
touch my skills at flunking!"  She sounded quite proud.  
"But then, you're pretty ugly yourself, so I guess birds of a 
feather..."

	Nara felt a knife in the gut; he knew he wasn't very 
good looking, whatever Akira might think.  

	"You take that back!" Tenma now said angrily.  "Nara 
is a very cute boy."

	Nara felt a sudden rush of happiness at that.  She 
thinks I'm cute!  He had to fight the urge to fantasize.  

	"Make me," Tomo said.

	"Let's not..." Mikoto began.

	"I don't want any more trouble at my party," Eri said, 
feeling resigned.

	Mikoto strode off to get Sagano.  She needs to restrain 
her idiotic cousin, Mikoto thought.  

	"I challenge you to step outside and have a sword duel 
with me!" Tenma said.

	"A...what?" Tomo said in utter surprise.

	"I can supply you both with blades," Eri said, then idly 
added, "You still can't get all the blood from all those 
ninjas you killed off your blade, right, Tenma?"

	"I should have listened to Aslan when he told me to 
always wipe my blade after a fight," Tenma said 
mournfully.

	"If there's going to be a duel, it ought to be me versus 
her," Nara said.  "She insulted me and my girlfriend."

	"Fine, you can be my champion while I try to get my 
blade cleaned," Tenma said.

	"Let's go, then," Eri said, deciding to get a blade for 
herself in case she had to intervene to keep anyone poking 
an eye out with the wooden ones.

****************
	
	Imadori watched across the dance hall, frowning, as 
Ataru hit on Yukari; she was so drunk that he couldn't tell 
if she was flattered or unable to tell how cheesy he was.  
Either way, this greatly annoyed him, but he was pinned 
down dancing with various members of the Sawachika 
family who wanted to 'get to know him'; ie, interrogate him 
to find out how rich he was.

	At least Nyamo and Umino were over there to keep an 
eye on her; he trusted them to keep her safe.  But he wished 
he could do it himself.  At least I haven't gotten in trouble 
for her being here, he thought, then sighed.  A private party 
like she originally wanted would have been wiser.

	He glanced over and now saw Yakumo staring at him 
as he danced with...someone.  Ami something...some 
Sawachika.  By marriage?  Yes, by marriage.  

	As Yakumo continued to stare, he felt increasingly 
unnerved, until finally, he made his goodbyes 
to...Ami...and went over to her.  "Did your sister send you 
with a message?"

	"I won't let you win, or him either," Yakumo said.

	"Uh, what?" Imadori asked in confusion.

	"I don't want to leave my sister's close friend in 
bondage, but I'm not going to let her seduce my Kenji 
either.  Or you," Yakumo said.

	Imadori tried to parse that, then asked, hesitantly, "Did 
you just tell me to not seduce your boyfriend?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said firmly.

	"..."  

	"So don't even think about turning into a woman or 
anything," Yakumo said.

	"..."

	"Or turning him into a woman."

	"..."

	"Or..."  She paused and waved a hand in front of his 
face.  He didn't respond at all.  "Sempai, are you awake?"  
She poked his shoulder very gently and hesistantly.

	He leaped a foot, then said, "What a strange dream."

	"No seducing my boyfriend," Yakumo said.  "You 
won't like me when I'm angry."

	"..."  She doesn't turn into the Hulk, does she?  Oh, 
she'd be a She-Hulk.  He imagined a giant, statuesque 
green, muscular Yakumo, then nose bled and fell down.

	"Sempai!" Yakumo said, suddenly worried.

	It didn't help when Hanai ran over him in a frenzy, 
trampling Imadori.

	"Sempai!" she said to Hanai, but he didn't seem to 
notice.

	Harry now walked up, then stared at Imadori.  "What 
the hell happened?"

	"I just told him to stay away from my boyfriend, or I'd 
get mad," Yakumo said nervously.  "I hope he's okay."

	Harry looked at her curiously, then said, "Well, help 
me carry him to the...I guess to his room to lie down."

	"Okay, sempai."

**************

	Nara and Tomo faced off with swords, saluted, then 
rushed at each other in a wild frenzy; neither had any 
appreciable amount of skill, which made the beating all the 
more brutal.  

	Tomo, however, had the edge on Nara in strength and 
endurance, and as the fight progressed, it was clear that 
Nara was losing, even with Tenma cheering him on.

	Mikoto now brought Sagano outside.  "What the hell 
are you doing, Tomo?  If you don't drop that sword, I'm 
going to tell your mother all about you picking fights at the 
party."  She folded her arms across her breasts to 
emphasize she was serious.

	"Hey, he's the one who started this," Tomo said.  "I 
just pointed out his ugly girlfriend is on drugs, probably to 
forget what he looks like."

	Nara gave a great scream of rage, then knocked 
Tomo's sword to one side and brought it down on her 
forehead.  Unfortunately, this just made Tomo angry.

	"Oh, it's going to be that way, is it?  KIYAH!" Tomo 
shouted and began to bash with redoubled strength at Nara, 
who lost his sword, then began to get clobbered.

	"That is ENOUGH," Eri said, stepping in and 
grabbing Tomo's wooden blade.  "Sagano-san, I need your 
home number; I have to call and bitch out your mother for 
sending this brat with you."

	"Brat?" Tomo protested.  "HE wanted a fight.  I tried 
to just leave peacefully!"  For once I do the right thing and 
I get screwed.  I tried to avoid fighting; I hardly even know 
the guy!

	"PLEASE," Sagano said, passing her phone to Eri.

	Tenma propped Nara up.  "Let's take you inside and 
find Akira, okay?"

	"Tomo," Akira now said from the doorway, her voice 
cold.  "You have thirty seconds to say your prayers before I 
send you to the graveyard."  

	"Hey, you shouldn't be out in this cold when you're so 
stoned," Tomo said, trying to be helpful.  

	Is everyone but me insane, Mikoto wondered.  She 
went over to Akira.  "Look, she's about to get ratted out to 
her folks.  Let them punish her," she pleaded.  

	Akira glared at her intensely, then closed her eyes and 
opened them, looking hurt rather than cold.  "Wouldn't you 
be angry if she beat up Hanai-san?" she murmered.

	"Yes," Mikoto said.  "But I think Eri's party's been 
disrupted with enough violence today.  Nara knows you 
love him without you having to prove it over Tomo's 
body."

	"I want to prove it," Akira said fiercely.  "I want the 
world to know how wonderful he is."

	Eri blathered away into the phone while Tomo paced 
nervously with Sagano glaring at her.  

	Tenma finally managed to hobble Nara over to Akira.  
She propped him against Akira, who drew him into a tight 
embrace.  "There you go," she said.

	"Thank you, Tenma-chan.  You're the best friend a 
woman could have," Akira said to Tenma, who blushed.

	"Oh, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?" Tenma 
said, a little embarrassed, but smiling broadly.

	"Or Mikoto or Eri," Akira said.  "You're my best 
friends."  She made a face-wobble that might have been a 
smile.

	"And mine," Mikoto said.  

	"And mine too," Tenma said.

	Eri would have said something, but was revelling in 
destroying Tomo forever, or so she hoped.

	A group hug followed which crushed Nara inside it, 
but he held in his pain so as to not wreck their moment and 
because he enjoyed a triple-woman hug.

	"We need to talk later," Akira said to Mikoto, who 
nodded.

	Eri hung up the phone.  "Sadly, no way for them to 
come get you.  I'm going to take you and put you in one of 
our guest rooms.  Tomorrow, you will hop on a train and go 
home and never come back if I can help it."

	"I can't believe you ratted me out to my parents!" 
Tomo said.

	"I'm reluctant to bring parents into things normally," 
Eri said.  "But you're special.  Now, COME WITH ME."

	And Tomo went.

***************
	
	Harry shut the door.  "Let him rest," he said to 
Yakumo.  "So were you hitting on him?"

	"No," she said.  

	"Well, he'll recover soon, I'm sure," Harry said.  "Was 
he hitting on you?"

	"No," she said.

	"Well, my girlfriend is still singing, so want to go 
dance?"

	"Sure," Yakumo said.  Hopefully, Harima would be 
ready to dance by the time they finished.

**************
	
	Nyamo glanced over at the bar as she danced with 
Umino.  "Uh oh."

	"What?" he asked in confusion.

	"Yukari's not dancing and not at the bar," Nyamo said.

	"Maybe she's just in the bathroom," he said.

	"You think so?" she asked hopefully.

	Umino sighed.  "Probably not.  Let's find her."

***************

	"I..."  Akira tried to focus.  "I should make this quick, 
as you should find your boyfriend before he wanders into 
the snow or something."

	Mikoto sighed.  "Did you two have another fight?"

	"It wasn't supposed to be a fight, but we had too much 
tea," Akira said, sitting on a couch with Mikoto on one side 
and Nara on the other.

	"And got too hyper?" Nara asked.

	"Pretty much," Akira sighed.  "Look, Mikoto, I...have 
to confess something to you."

	Mikoto's mind raced.  "You're not about to tell me 
you're in love with me and want me to run away with you 
and Nara, are you?"

	"..."  Nara stared at Mikoto in surprise.

	"I...uh..."  Akira stared at Mikoto, mouth wide open.  
"Is that...umm...a proposal?"

	"..."  Mikoto felt brain cells exploding.  

	"Well, if she did that, we'd want her to bring Hanai 
too," Nara prompted Akira, elbowing her very gently.

	"I...you..." Mikoto looked at Nara, then said, "Don't 
tell me you want..."

	"If I was a woman," Nara said.  "But I'm not right 
now."

	Right now, Mikoto thought.  What are those two 
getting up to in bed?  AND HOW?

	"But actually..."  Nara looked at Akira meaningfully.

	"Look, I..."  Akira began.

	Hanai staggered out of the ballroom and up to them.  
"Mikoto, there you are.  Takano-san, she..." He then saw 
her and froze up.

	"Look, the four of us should get a room," Nara began.

	Hanai fell over, Mikoto stared, and Akira went stiff.

	"And talk in private!  Not have sex.  Unless people 
want to.  I mean..."  Nara cursed his own existence.  "Just 
to talk about all this."

	"Okay, let's do that," Mikoto said, rising.  "Follow 
me."

***************

	Imadori woke up to a banging on his door; it was 
Yukari.  "Ahh, there you are," she said.  "Come, we must 
DANCE."  She staggered over to grab him, then fell down 
on top of him.

	Naturally, she passed out just as Nyamo and Umino 
arrived.  

	"What are you two DOING?" Nyamo asked.

	"She fell on me!  We need to take her to a guest 
room," he said.

	Nyamo looked at Imadori dubiously.  She could smell 
the bull in the room.

	"I can do that," Umino said, picking her up.  "You can 
bitch him out in my absence, honey.  You're better at that 
than me."

	"Okay."  She kissed his cheek as he went, then turned 
to Imadori.  "Imadori-san.  WHAT DO YOU THINK 
YOU'RE DOING?"

	Her voice blew him back onto the bed.

	"Uh...trying to get up?" he said, staggering to his feet.

	"Look, you are engaged to a very wealthy woman.  Do 
you like her?"

	"Eri can be pretty nice when she forgets to hate me," 
Imadori said cheerfully.  "She's nice, really."

	"No, I mean...what the hell are you doing with Yukari 
when you have a rich fiancee?  Are you just using 
Sawachika-san for the money?  Or are you just after 
Yukari's body?" Nyamo's voice was much harsher than 
usual, and Imadori retreated.

	"I can't talk about that," Imadori said.

	"I'm not going to let you get Yukari in trouble with a 
wealthy family who could destroy her," Nyamo said.  "And 
you too.  Do you think they'll be happy if they find out 
you're having an affair with her?"  She had to fight the urge 
to shout.

	"We're not..." he began.

	"Plus, she's twice your age," Nyamo said, then 
instinctively winced as her body expected Yukari to hit her.  

	"But we understand each other.  And it's not really an 
affair," Kyousuke said.

	"Look, she's decided you're her boyfriend.  SADLY, 
you're the best one she's ever had, which REALLY SAYS 
IT ALL.  I am not going to let you end up hurting her.  This 
can only end in disaster!" Nyamo said.  

	"Do you really think Yukari-chan will let you tell her 
what to do?" Imadori asked.

	She stared at the floor.  "No, dammit."

	"Well, then, let us handle this.  It's not your problem."

	"Aggravating as she is, she's my friend and that makes 
it my problem!" Nyamo said.  She pointed at Imadori.  "If 
you get her in trouble, I WILL make you pay."

	"I'm not going to get her in trouble," Imadori said 
firmly.  "Are we done?  You're not my mother, so I don't 
have to let you lecture me."

	Kids these days are too cheeky, Nyamo thought.  
"Fine.  Don't say I didn't give you warning."  She strode off 
angrily.

	Imadori sighed.  I'm not going to hurt her if I can help 
it, he thought.  But this was going to be tricky.

	"Time for your beating, punk," Lala said, walking in.

	Definitely going to be tricky.

***************

	"This is what private jets are for, honey," Mrs. 
Sawachika said to her daughter.

	"Oooh, I get to fly in a private jet?" Tomo asked.

	"In the luggage compartment, yes," Mrs. Sawachika 
said.

	"Dammit!"

**************	

	Tenma danced slowly with Karasuma; the band was 
on break, many of them dancing, while some CDs played.  
She swayed along, not entirely sure what she was doing, 
but glad to finally have some time with her boyfriend.

	After another round, he took her over to one of the 
couches by the wall, reached into his pocket, and pulled out 
a small box; it looked like a ring box to Tenma. 

	Her eyes widened.  "I...is that..."

	"Merry Christmas," he said, trying to smile.  He really 
wasn't good at it.

	Really, I'm not ready for marriage, she thought.  But it 
would be nice to get ahead of Yakumo.  

	She opened it and found a pendant had been crammed 
into the box; it was a silver chain, which was attached to a 
silver pendant on which was inscribed a drawing of 
Karasuma in ukyo-e style.  The drawing glowered at 
Tenma as she stared.  "Did you make this?"

	"The artisan made it from a drawing I did," he said 
proudly.

	"Thank you," she said.  "It's wonderful."  Not really, it 
was ugly, but it was from Karasuma and it showed he cared 
and then she realized she'd forgotten to bring his present.

	But after he gave her something hand-crafted, she 
couldn't admit that.  She searched her pockets desperately 
and found something.  An origami duck.  She handed it to 
him, "A gift for you," she said, wishing she had the sweater 
with her.

	He took it and smiled at it.  "Thank you, Tenma, it's 
very nice."

	She squirmed a little, feeling embarrassed.  "I've got 
something for you back home...well, back at Mikoto's 
friend's lodge."

	He rose.  "I'll be looking forwards to it."

	She smiled nervously and took his hand and returned 
to dancing.

*******************
	
	The guest room was full of not-talking; silence 
gripped the room with an iron fist as Mikoto and Hanai sat 
on one bed and Akira and Nara on the other, facing each 
other.  

	Finally, Nara said, "Look, since no one else will 
speak..."

	"No, I will," Akira said.  "Look, Mikoto, I've had a 
crush on your boyfriend for a long time, and I always was 
mean to him to try and drive him off or because I thought 
he was going to hurt you.  And I stayed away from him 
because I didn't want to mess things up for you two."

	It felt strangely good to just get it off her chest.

	Mikoto stared at the floor, not knowing what to say.  
Should she get angry?  But Akira had never made any 
moves on Hanai.  But then, antagonizing him like that had 
caused all sorts of trouble, and was she after him now?  Her 
head spun.

	Hanai said, "Well, umm..."

	"I just had to explain and let it out, so...so we wouldn't 
end up making Mikoto miserable with all our fighting," 
Akira said, staring at Mikoto's feet.

	"Everyone wants a piece of my boyfriend," Mikoto 
mumbled.

	"Everyone wants a piece of you too, Suou-san," Nara 
said.  "You're just better at telling them no than your 
boyfriend."

	"HEY!" Hanai said.  "I didn't..."

	"You dated Yuuki-san, Gonzales-san, and Suou-san 
all at the same time," Nara said.  "Which is fine if they all 
agree to it, but since they all wanted you for themselves..."

	"We were just...I mean..." Mikoto couldn't bring 
herself to admit the origins of her dating Hanai.  She got 
flustered over that.

	"Anyway, I think that's everything, unless you want to 
stay with us tonight," Nara said.

	Mikoto's eyes crossed.  WHAT????  

	Akira said, "Nara..."  But she didn't deny the 
invitation.

	Hanai said, "Mikoto and I...have complications 
enough."  He sounded extremely nervous.

	"Your other lovers, of course," Nara said.  "Well, if 
you ever change your minds, we'll be ready."

	Akira closed her eyes and tried to find her inner calm 
before she could do anything stupid.

	He's so...utterly calm about it, Mikoto thought, 
suddenly wondering if Akira's claims Nara was a total love 
machine were true and what he would be like.  Then she 
dismissed the thought.  We have complications enough, 
like figuring out something kinky to do with Masahiro and 
Miki tonight.  

	She suddenly wondered if they could borrow some of 
the Santa and Elf outfits and...  She shivered slightly at the 
thought.  That might do.

	"I...uh..."

	"You two haven't done it again as ...in reverse...have 
you?" Mikoto suddenly blurted, then regretted it.

	"No," Akira said, her voice strangled.

	"Beyond our power," Nara said.  

	"I...well...umm...that settles everything, I suppose," 
Hanai said.

	"I think so," Nara said.

	Akira looked up.  "Let's...make a better future."  Even 
as she said it, it sounded utterly cheesy.

	Mikoto didn't know what to say; part of her was angry 
at Akira, part was reeling in shock, and a little part of her 
wondered what it would be like with those two.  "I...yeah."

	Akira smiled at her nervously.  "Thank you."

	Hanai wished he understood.  What kind of crazy 
person abuses people they like?  The Akira kind, 
apparently.  But if Mikoto wasn't mad, he'd try to be 
forgiving.  She'd been trying to help.  In a stupid way.  
Mikoto wasn't mad, was she?  Her face was extremely 
weird.

	Anyway, it was Christmas, a time for forgiving.  And 
getting presents.  And giving them, but he had presents 
back at Chez Miki, ready to give everyone.  Maybe he'd 
even forgive his dad.

	Maybe.

*****************	

	"We're staying out here instead of going home, right?" 
Yuuki asked Sagano.  "At least overnight, right?"

	"I'm gonna try and browbeat Mom into letting us stay, 
sans Tomo, a few days," Sagano said.  "I want to get THE 
HELL AWAY from her."  She grumbled.

	Yuuki looked thoughtful and nodded.  "I brought extra 
clothing, so good."

	Sagano then realized she hadn't.  But she'd figure out 
something.  She wanted to ski and relax, and no little thing 
like 'clean clothing' would stand in her way.

***************
		
	Yakumo danced with Harima, enjoying herself, even 
if the Santa suit left her legs a little cold.  Finally, he 
stopped with her under some mistletoe, so she leaned up 
and kissed him softly while he fumbled in his pockets.

	He looked surprised, then held out a stocking to her.  
"Here you go, Yakumo-san."

	Inside, she found a pencil case, full of high quality 
pencils and other drawing equipment, a bag of candy, a 
silver raven pendant with little ruby eyes, some catnip, and 
a book titled 'Black Cats are GOOD Luck'.  She put on the 
pendant, smiling.  "Thank you, Kenji-kun.  My present for 
you is...back at the lodge."  The physical present.  The 
other present...she wasn't sure if she had the energy and 
courage to broach it, but...

	She felt a disturbance in the Force.  Or maybe it was 
just the sound of heavy footsteps.  

	Suddenly, Tenma grabbed her.  "Sorry, Kenji-san, I 
need my sister!"

	Yakumo let herself be dragged without protest, feeling 
confused.

	"I did bring the sweater, right?" she asked Yakumo.

	"Red-gold sweater, long sleeves, kappa pattern in 
green and blue on the front?" Yakumo asked thoughtfully.

	"Yes!" Tenma said.

	"The last I saw of it, it was on the dining room table 
with Iori curled up on it," Yakumo said.  She hoped he was 
eating his food they'd left him.

	Then she saw Sakaki nervously approaching her 
boyfriend; Yakumo stared, trying to read her thoughts, but 
as always, there was this continual shield of thoughts about 
cats which blocked any deeper sight.  

	"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Tenma said, turning to paper and 
blowing away in a breeze.

	"Are you cold?" Yakumo asked, worried, though 
keeping an eye on the girl giving Kenji a present.

	Harima opened it and found it was full of sliced glazed 
apples.  He ate a slice.  TASTY.  "Thank you," he said to 
Sakaki, who now looked relieved and smiled at him.

	Yakumo didn't like it.  

	Tenma said, "Now I don't have a present for Karasuma 
and he gave me this wonderful pendant," which she now 
showed off.  "I said it was at the lodge, but no, it's not and 
now he'll hate me forever!"

	Yakumo turned from the woman after her Kenji to her 
sister, who was having a clearly bigger crisis, even if this 
woman WAS after Kenji.  "If you just explain..."

	"Fire and ice raining from the sky!  Cats and dogs 
living together!  THE END OF THE WORLD!"  Tenma 
wailed.

	"Death, doom, and a dark day rising!" Osaka said 
nearby.  She shook her fists in the air.  "Donuts and 
hamburgers joined in unholy union with cheese to suture it 
together!  OIL AND WATER MIXING FREELY!"

	They both stared at her.

	"Just trying to help," Osaka said sheepishly.

	"You wouldn't have any spare presents suitable for a 
boy, would you?" Tenma asked desperately.

	Osaka looked thoughtful.  "Both of you, come with 
me.  If we work together..."

	"But I..." Yakumo began.

	"Please?" Tenma begged.

	Yakumo couldn't say no.  "Okay, oneechan.  I'll help."

	Osaka smiled.  "Then it's time for the Three Heroines 
to SAVE CHRISTMAS!"  

	She then led them off to collect what they would need.

***************

	Stupid Kenji, can't even learn to dance before our big 
dance, Eri thought as she danced with Harima.  She could 
see a somewhat nervous looking Hanai and Mikoto dancing 
gracefully.  Sagano and Fuyuki looked like angels of dance 
compared to Harima.  

	He was trying at least, but he kept missing moves, 
stepping on people's feet, and generally klutzing it up.  

	There was one thing, though...

	"If you don't dance better, Hanai and Mikoto will beat 
us," Eri said.

	THAT lit a fire under his feet.  "No way in hell," he 
announced; he now snapped to attention.

	While it still took some time for him to learn, she 
finally got him moving properly and was able to relax.  

	For all of ten seconds before Imadori and her mother 
began to dance her way on an intercept course.  "Incoming 
mother," she whispered.

	Harima glanced about, then moved to use Akira and 
Nara as a shield.  Each time Imadori and Mrs. Sawachika 
got close enough to try to move in for a partner swap, 
Harima and Eri glided around Akira and Nara, interposing 
them as a guardian duo against the threat.

	Things became more complex, however, when Sakaki 
and Karasuma headed towards Eri and Harima from the 
other side.  This could be solved only by an elaborate spin 
around Akira and Nara which ended with Karasuma and 
Imadori bumping butts by accident.

	Dammit, now Karasuma's after Eri, Harima thought. 
He's INSATIABLE!  Why isn't he dancing with Tenma?

	There was no sign of her anywhere; what had he done 
to her?  Was she crying somewhere...

	There was no choice but to do something to the 
bastard.  But what?  He couldn't use violence, or Mrs. 
Sawachika would throw him out.

	Then he saw Mr. Hanai and Mr. Gonzales...well, it 
was sort of like dancing, and sort of like very stylized 
beating each other up.  The perfect fall guys.  

	He turned and began to aim towards them, dragging 
the others along in his wake.  Akira and Nara tried to 
disengage, but found themselves trapped by flankers in 
pursuit of Harima and Eri.

	The timing would have to be perfect; he nodded to Eri, 
who nodded back; they were in perfect synch now; they 
had to be.

	Waiting, just as Imadori moved in on Eri, he came up 
behind Gonzales and Mr. Hanai and swung Eri high, over 
Mr. Hanai's head, just as Imadori lunged in; Imadori ended 
up grabbing Mr. Gonzales, who immediately began 
dragging him towards the huge chest full of icy water and 
cold drinks near the bar.  

	This left Mr. Hanai spinning off; Harima used Eri's 
butt to change his trajectory; as Sakaki moved in for the kill 
on Harima, Mr. Hanai spun into her arms and dragged her 
off like a dervish.  This changed Karasuma's course, 
sending him into a confused Mrs. Sawachika.  They spun 
off the other way.

	Nara looked dizzy from seeing all this; it seemed to 
perk Akira up, returning her to her usual mellow self.  

	"Now that's dancing," Eri said, grinning.

	"Victory!" Harima crowed as Mr. Gonzales dunked 
Imadori in the drink chest.

	Eri said, "Oh, I have your present."  She hoped he'd 
like it; she'd invested many hours in it covertly.

	She now passed him a wrapped box; he opened it and 
found a leather jacket; the word 'Badass' had been hand-
sewn on the back in rather crude Kanji; Eri was no master 
of sewing.

	"WOW," he said.  "This is GREAT.  Though I hope 
you didn't pay too much for the hand-tailoring; they didn't 
do a very good job.  But the sentiment is perfect."

	Kenji you IDIOT, she thought.  "I'll be sure to tell her 
that," she said icily.

	He was oblivious as he studied it, then put it back in 
the box.  "Thanks, Princess."

	"You're welcome," she grunted out.

	Dammit, what's in her this time?, Harima thought.

	She sewed it herself and you just dissed her, Onna-
Harima pointed out.

	Well, fuck, you could have said that earlier, he replied.

	You didn't ASK, she replied.

	Tell her how beautiful she is, generally kiss some ass.

	I HATE kissing ass, he replied.

	Well, if you'd rather she stay pissed...

	FUCK.

	"Anyway, it's much appreciated; beautiful women like 
you don't give me presents often," he said.

	Eri told herself to stay mad; he was clearly just kissing 
her ass to try to get off the hook.  But it was nice to hear 
him actually say it; he never talked about her looks.  "With 
your manners, it's not surprising."

	"I'd rather be honest than polite," he said.  "And to be 
honest, you're the most gorgeous woman here.  I never 
realized how pretty REAL blonde hair is until I met you."

	"Oh God, ganguro girls," Eri said, eyes crossing. 
"Fake something is never as good as the real thing."

	"Yeah," Harima said.  Did I kiss enough ass, or should 
I kiss more?

	Too much is never enough when it comes to ass-
kissing, Onna-Harima told him.

	He pulled her closer.  "And you have the prettiest 
eyes," he said.  "And a nice figure.  And you're wearing a 
gorgeous dress."

	Eri felt her irritation melt, which almost irritated her in 
turn.  Then she felt a sudden moment of irrational panic.  
Every time Kenji starts getting this romantic with me...I 
WAKE UP.

	She pinched herself.  But then...did that really work?  
Why would it?  Shouldn't you be able to dream pain?  
Dammit.

	"Kiss me," she whispered.

	He leaned forward and she closed her eyes.  Closer, 
closer, she could feel his presence, his arms around her, his 
lips meeting hers and...

	Then suddenly he was gone.

	She opened her eyes and her father had dragged her 
off for a dance, leaving a confused looking Harima staring 
at Eri's aunt Meiko, a seventy year old woman.  "Daddy!" 
she protested.

	"You're going to have to be more covert than that," he 
said.  "Imagine if your mother had seen it."

	Well, there would be more chances.  Hopefully.

*************

	A little later, Eri had slipped loose, though it was to 
help Tenma, Osaka, and Yakumo, who she now had 
supplied with the needed raw materials.  "Do you really 
think we can make him a shirt fast enough?"

	"If we work hard," Yakumo said.  Which to Eri 
seemed to say 'unlike you'.  

	Eri scowled.  "I'll show you how hard I can work!"

	Eri got assigned to cut fabric to start with; she did this 
with a will, quickly slicing all the necessary bits.  Then 
everyone starting sewing at once, crowded together around 
the cloth, as they unfortunately had no sewing machine.

	Eri's fingers worked quickly, maybe too quickly, as 
her sewing line tended to wobble, but she told herself no 
one would see inside the seam.

	She paused to think a moment, and felt something odd 
on her fingers; Osaka had just sewn Eri's fingers to the 
shirt.  "I'm stuck!"

	Osaka blinked.  "I thought you were supposed to be 
doing that."

	"Here, I'll tear it out," Yakumo said, undoing the 
work; this left Eri yet more aggrvated.

	Stupid little domestic goddess, Eri thought.  Distracted 
by this, she unthinkingly sewed the seam into those words 
in cursive English.

	No one seemed to notice.

	Osaka reached for more thread. "The green thread is 
gone!"

	Everyone looked around, just in time to hear 
something rolling and to see a cat tail going out.

	"The cat!" Osaka said.  "It's after our lucky charms!"

	"I'll get it," Eri said, rising and running after it.  "You 
all keep sewing!"

	Eri finally ran down the cat and tried to get the thread 
out of the cat's stubborn grip.  She was still struggling when 
a shadow loomed over her.

	"What are you doing to that cat?"  It was Sakaki, of 
course.

	"Just trying to take away this thread."

	"Cats LIKE to play with thread," Sakaki said 
ominously.

	"It stole the thread from our workshop!"

	"Involving the poor cat in an illegal sweatshop?" 
Sakaki said, darkening.

	"It's not a sweat shop!" Eri said.

	Sweat now dripped onto the cat from her brow; the cat 
yelped.

	Sakaki seemed to grow to 3,000 feet tall, while Eri 
shrank to the size of a mushroom.

	"It's trying for suicide!" Eri said, throwing the cat into 
the air as she panicked, then fleeing.

	"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Sakaki yelled and Eri took off 
running.

	She gained ground, but now she could hear the 
ominous sound of Sakaki following her.  She ran past her 
friends so as to not lure Sakaki into the sewing room, then 
down the hall and around a corner.  

	She found Imadori here.  "Fiancee of mine!" she said.

	He looked surprised.  "Yes, my cute fiancee?"

	"I designate you to save me from the wrath of Sakaki," 
she said, running past him.

	"No, don't make me..." he began.

	She ran on; soon, she heard his screams.  Mission 
accomplished, she thought.

***************

	"Are you sure that's a phoenix?" Tenma asked Osaka.

	"Yes," she said.

	"Really sure?"

	Osaka nodded firmly.  "Yes."

	Yakumo asked, "Really, really sure?"

	"No, not at all," Osaka said.  She paused, as if 
expecting to be hit, but no one did.

	The embroidery looked rather more like a chicken to 
Yakumo.  She sighed; going to have to start over on that.

****************

	Things were winding down; many guests had taken off 
so they could get home before too late.  The band had 
resumed playing, and Sara was dancing with Suga, while 
Satsuki danced with Asou. They'd managed to tie up 
Satsuki's father and put him to bed so he couldn't interfere.

	Suga was fun to dance with; he had a lot of 
enthusiasm, even if he didn't always know what he was 
doing.  

	She glanced over at Asou and Satsuki; Satsuki was 
laughing at something and Asou looked amused.  Sara 
wished she knew what had cracked his usual shell.

	Getting him to smile wasn't easy; she treasured it 
when she could make it happen.

	Still, he'd smile tonight, or she'd die trying.  She 
blushed a little at the thought.  

	"Thinking dirty thoughts about me?" Suga teased as he 
spun her around.

	She twirled back into place, saying, "Just making 
plans."

	"You sure that's going to be okay?" he said.

	"We'll be fine," Sara said with a confidence not based 
in fact.

****************

	Mrs. Sawachika walked up to Miki.  "You drove Eri's 
friends over here, right?"

	She nodded.  "Yes, ma'am."

	"I think things will be finishing soon.  Do you think 
you'll be able to make it back okay?"

	"We'll be fine," Miki said.  "I'll see about rounding 
everyone up."

	"I think it's best you all get home without any 
accidents, so it's wise to go now, I think," Eri's mother said.

	"Thank you for inviting us."  Miki bowed.

	"And please make sure Harima-san doesn't either try 
lurking here or wandering off into the woods thinking he 
really is Santa," Mrs. Sawachika said.

	"Well, if he does the latter, he might take my 
boyfriend to die in the cold," Miki said.  "I'll make sure he 
comes home."

	"Thank you," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "It was nice to 
meet you all, and I hope you have a happy holidays."

	Miki glanced off and saw her boyfriend dancing with 
the cat-girl.  "I'm sure we will.  Going to be a... special... 
night tonight."  She smiled nervously, even though she was 
still undecided on what to do.  Something kinky...but what?  
She didn't have the experience to come up with too many 
good ideas there, unlike some people.

****************

	Wearing a long blue coat, brown trousers, and a short, 
spikey blonde wig to make up for his still mostly shaved 
head, Togo sat in an inclosed patio on a deck chair with 
Mai in his lap, wearing a bright orange, short wig and a 
color-coordinated outfit that looked a cross between a 
school uniform and battle armor.  They each had a glass of 
wine in one hand and looked up at the moon as they drank.

	Mai ran a hand up and down his chest.  "I can do more 
than cook ramen, my dear 'Sergei'," she said softly.

	He grinned the grin of the super-pimp.  "I can eat 
more than ramen too," he said.

	She began to laugh, and he sighed.  "I didn't laugh at 
you."

	"So...stereotypical..." she managed to get out, then 
kissed him softly.  "I want to see your 'gun'," she said.

	"Oh, so only you get to use the cheesy lines?" he 
asked, smiling.

	"A woman's prerogative," she said.  She finished her 
wine and put it aside.  "Kiss my ear and I'll transform."

	"Materialize," he whispered into her ear as he kissed it 
softly, tongue flicking across her earring.

	She began making sound effects, and then it was time 
to go to town.

*************

	Harima went looking for Tenma and Yakumo after 
being told the group would be shipping out soon.  He found 
them, along with Osaka, all fallen over asleep on top of an 
oddly sewn together collection of pieces of cloth with a 
vague resemblance to a cross.  There was something... 
threads tangled around Yakumo's fingers led to an emblem 
on the front, some sort of hideous half-chicken, half-
pterodactyl monstrosity thing, which Yakumo must have 
been working on when she fell asleep.

	He studied carefully, wondering if it was cursed and 
sucked out their life force.  They didn't LOOK dead.

	Best to take no chances.  He backed out and went 
looking for Sara.

*************
	
	Eri stood under the mistletoe, looking for Harima.  He 
had to be around here somewhere, and surely he would 
come in, come over and...smooch.  Also, this way, no one 
could sneak up on...

	Hands landed on her shoulder.  She smiled.  It had to 
be Kenji.  She closed her eyes, turned, and puckered up.

	She got a kiss, though it was quicker than expected.  
Opening her eyes, she saw Imadori.  "Sweet, I got through 
the mistletoe kiss without getting punched!" he crowed.

	"YOU PUNK!"  She tried to kick him, but he glided 
under the kick.

	Then he said, "Oooh, black and lacy."

	"You will pay," she said, and charged him.  He took 
off running.  They ran out of the ballroom, down a hallway, 
and right into Nyamo and Umino.  He glided to one side, 
but she took the turn too fast, hit them, collided, and was 
out of action for the moment.

************

	"I think they're just sleeping, Harima-sempai," Sara 
said.

	"It doesn't hurt if they aren't, does it?" Harima asked.

	"God's love is never wasted," Sara said.  She did a 
quick blessing 	over the trio, who continued to snooze.  
"See, they're fine."

	"Can you help me get Yakumo to the car?" Harima 
asked.  "I'll carry Tenma."

	Sara nodded.  "Sure.  What about the other?"

	Harima frowned.  "You know, some of us came by 
sleigh.  Well, let's put them in the car and I'll come back for 
her and round up the sleigh posse."

	"Okay," Sara said, and they took off.
 
**************

	Osaka woke up with something tugging her sleeve.  
She opened her eyes and saw it, a rat as a large as a dog.  
Putting on her deerstalker hat, she said, "So, you've 
returned to plague me again, Giant Rat of Sumatra!  But 
Watson and I..."

	She looked around.  "Watson?"  There was no sign of 
Watson anywhere.  

	Distantly, she heard someone yell, "You're Watson!  
I'm Detective Tsukamoto!"

	"I'm Detective Osaka!" she shouted back.

	The giant rat tugged her sleeve again.

	"What?" she asked.

	"The Nazi-Cat-Santa who is Chiyo's Father has 
kidnapped Watson," the rat began.  

	"I AM NOT WATSON!" Detective Tsukamoto 
shouted more distantly.

	"And hypnotized her," the Giant Rat continued.

	"I know who I am!  I just can't get these ropes off 
me!" Detective Tsukamoto shouted from even further 
away.

	"Now, you must rescue her from Moriarty," the Giant 
Rat finished.  "Before Irene and Watson are killed."

	"I'm not going to kill them, we just need two more for 
Bridge!" Chiyo's Father said distantly.

	"The game is a foot!" Detective Osaka said, charging 
after the voices.

	"THE GAME IS BRIDGE, YOU IDIOT!" Chiyo's 
Father shouted.

	Much running about through corridors ensued, rather 
like an episode of Dr. Who from the seventies.  

	Finally, she found a room with a card table; Yakumo 
(in a fancy Victorian dress) and Detective Tsukamoto were 
tied to chairs facing each other, while Chiyo-chan (in a 
fancy Victorian dress) and Chiyo's Father (a giant glowing 
cat-thing wearing a Santa outfit with Nazi insignias on it) 
sat opposite each other.  Chiyo was shuffling.

	"I see from your insignia that you aren't Santa Claus at 
all!" Detective Osaka deduced, then ripped off the Santa 
outfit to reveal...Colonel Klink!

	"Do you think you will escape from Stalag 13, 
Hogan?"

	"I don't know this one," Detective Tsukamoto said.

	The world rewound.  

	"There are no Nazis in the late nineteenth century!  
You can't fool me..."  Detective Osaka grabbed the Santa 
outfit and ripped it off.  

	This revealed Chiyo's father now clad in a safari 
outfit.  "Colonel Moran!"

	"Very clever, but not clever enough," Chiyo's Father, 
Colonel Moran said.  "Now I have no choice but to snipe 
out Watson with my rifle!"  He produced a huge rifle.

	"But I'm NOT WATSON!" Detective Tsukamoto 
insisted. 

	"Then who are you?" Moran asked.

	Detective Tsukamoto ripped off her deerstalker and 
cape and coat, revealing a black body suit with a face-
concealing hood with large bat-ears, and a cape.  Sliding 
smoothly out of her bonds, she shouted, "I'M 
BATWOMAN!" then knocked the gun out of Chiyo's 
Father's hands with thrown batarangs, then flipped over the 
table to kick him through a wall.  

	"Well, if you're Batwoman, then I'm..."  Detective 
Osaka's outfit flew into the air, revealing a red and blue 
bodysuit with cape.  "SUPERWOMAN!"

	Batwoman was about to go after Chiyo's father, then 
paused.  "Wait, what does that make Yakumo and Chiyo?"

	Superwoman heatvisioned off Yakumo's dress, 
waking her up in a panic, revealing she now wore the red, 
yellow, and green outfit of...Robin!

	"Ahh, therefore..."  Batwoman yanked off Chiyo's 
outfit, revealing her to be... THE ATOM!

	"But...I'm already so small!" the Atom said frantically.

	"Saves you money on shrink-power, then," Batwoman 
said sagely.  "Now, let's defeat Catman!"

	"But we're still tied up," Robin pointed out.

	"Don't be sensible!" Batwoman said, getting out her 
Bat-Rope-Cutters and cutting her loose, while the Atom 
shrank out of her bonds and hopped over to Superwoman's 
shoulder.

	"Now...AFTER CATMAN!"  Superwoman took off 
after him at high speed; her wake blew Batwoman and 
Robin into the wall.

	"Good thing I had my Bat-Impact-Reducing-Airbag 
ready," Batwoman said as it inflated, pushing her out of the 
dent in the wall.

	"Oneechan, I don't know how to activate all these 
widgets in my utility belt," Robin said.

	"Just grab something at random!  Conviently, it will 
always turn out to be what you need!"

	They heard distant thrashing noises.  "Now, 
FORWARDS!"

	Robin sprinted after Batwoman, as she ran off at high 
speed.  Oneechan always knows what to do, Robin thought.  
She envied her that, even when it didn't work.

**************
	
	Back in reality, Imadori crept into the room where the 
passed out Yukari was.  She sat up, clutching her head.  
"Hey, Kyousuke.  I feel terrible."

	"You should lay down," he said kindly, coming over 
and taking her hand.  "Are you okay?"

	"Nothing more alcohol can't cure," she said hopefully.

	"Party's winding down."

	"Dammit, gotta go home now?"

	"You can crash here, but I can't crash with you," he 
said regretfully.

	"Yeah, I'd just puke on you anyway." She leaned over 
and gave him a sloppy kiss.  "I had fun."

	"Me too," he said, putting an arm around her.  "You're 
still sexier than Nyamo-san, even drunk."

	Yukari giggled.  "You say the sweetest things."

	He laid her down.  "Now sleep," he said softly.

	"Okay," she said.  "You'll dream of me, won't you?"

	"I'm sure I will," he said.  

	She was asleep before he was gone.

***************

	Lala said to Hanai, "We have to do something with 
our fathers."

	He nodded, not quite looking at her; she couldn't quite 
look at him either.

	Mrs. Sawachika approached them.  "Don't worry, 
they'll be dealt with.  Nakamura is getting them drunk; once 
they pass out, we'll ship them both back to Mexico."

	"But my Dad isn't from Mexico," Hanai said.

	"That will keep them out of my hair longer, then," 
Mrs. Sawachika said.  "Please try to not bring your family 
riots to my parties in the future."

	Hanai and Lala both looked embarrassed.  "I'm sorry, 
Senora," Lala said.

	"My apologies, Sawachika-sama," Hanai said.

	Mrs. Sawachika sighed.  "Well, at least no one will 
forget this party."

**************

	Karasuma loaded Tenma into the van.  "She'll be 
fine," he said to Harima.

	Harima grimaced, but nodded.  "You will die if she is 
not."

	Karasuma nodded as if expecting to be told that.

	Harima headed back to find his sleigh-posse and to 
say goodbye to Eri if possible.

***************

	"The sleigh is trashed.  We can all pile in the Van and 
drive over by Chiyo-san's place," Masahiro said to Harima.

	"Gonna be crowded," Harima said.

	"We'll be fine.  It isn't all that far, really," Masahiro 
said.

	"Okay," Harima said, then looked over at Chiyo.  
"That good for you, Hiyama-san?"

	"Fine," Chiyo said, yawning.  "Let's go."

	Harima adjusted Osaka, who he had over his shoulder.  
"Right."

	Instead, they saw the van pulling out without them.

	"Dammit!" Harima said.

	"I can call Daddy," Chiyo said.

	"That would be embarrassing," Harima said.  Then he 
looked over.  "You know, it isn't THAT far to our place.  
We could just rig up a sled for Chiyo and Osaka and let 
Tadakichi pull it while the rest of us walk.  And Chiyo's 
gang could just crash at our place."

	Kagura nodded.  "Or we could all stay here."

	"I can't," Harima grumbled.

	"It'll be fun," Chiyo said, yawning.

	"I'll see about borrowing a hammer and nails then," 
Masahiro said.  

	He went off, and Harima kneeled by Chiyo.  
"Kid...Chiyo-san.  I'm very grateful; I'll repay you one 
day."

	"Don't worry about it," she said.  "I like giving 
presents."

	He didn't know how the hell he'd ever repay her, and 
owing a kid tens of thousands of yen was kind of 
embarrassing, but really, she was a good kid.  And he had 
to repay her.  Somehow.  Maybe when the manga gets big, 
he thought.

	I could draw her a picture of her and her dog.  Yeah, 
that would be a good start, he thought.  Tomorrow.  For 
now, it was time to build a sleigh.

**************

	Akira felt extremely frustrated as she took her shower.  
Everything had gone terribly with Haruki, she'd clearly 
made Mikoto uncomfortable, and her boyfriend had gotten 
beaten up without her being there to extract vengeance.  

	Also, her boyfriend had proposed a foursome with 
Mikoto and Hanai just to make things more complicated.  
Had he been serious?  He did grow up in a harem house.  
And she did...want...Hanai...but this sort of thing never 
ended well.

	Except it did seem to go well for Mikoto, Hanai, 
Masahiro, and Miki, and Nara's own parents were making it 
work.

	But no, it was too risky, really.  And he shouldn't 
make proposals like that without asking her even if she 
wanted Hanai naked in bed with her, touching her...

	She shook her head.  I have to forget him, and any 
mad group sex will only make it worse and does Nara have 
these fantasies about Mikoto?

	It would only be natural for him to do so; she was tall 
and beautiful and friendly and kind.  And she knew from 
her brief stint as a man that they were easily bewitched by 
beauty.  Onna-Nara had been so lovely like her mother...

	Akira clonked her head once, firmly, against the wall 
of the shower stall, then began trying to get her legs clean.  
The most annoying part of showering was trying to actually 
scrub your own legs.  Even if your lover showered with 
you, it wasn't too much easier for them to do it than for 
you.

	My boyfriend is not fantasizing about Mikoto, not any 
more than I am, she thought.  Yes, if I was into women, I'd 
be into Mikoto, so logically, he must...

	Head clonking time again.

	Viciously, she seized her thoughts and crushed them, 
focusing on the tree in her backyard she used for meditation 
exercises, imaging it in every detail, until there was nothing 
in her head but tree.  Her shivering ceased and she regained 
her usual calm.

	Until hands landed on her shoulder, anyway.  She 
jumped half out of her skin.

	Groggily, Nara said, "Sorry, dear."

	"Did I wake you up?" she asked softly.

	"No, I could smell myself after all that exercise and 
that woke me back up," he said.

	She wrinkled her face and he laughed, getting soap 
and a cloth and beginning to scrub himself.

	She quickly took it and began to scrub his arms.

	"You don't have to," he said.

	"I want to," she said softly.  

	He leaned against her as she worked on his arms and 
shoulders and face, half-asleep.  "You're the greatest."

	"Kentarou...", she said softly, scrubbing around his 
ears.

	"Hmm, yes, Akira?" he asked, forcing an eyelid open.  

	"I'm sorry you got hurt," she said softly.

	"I couldn't tolerate that loudmouth insulting you," he 
said, yawned, then said, "You need scrubbing anywhere?"

	"Just the legs; wait, you can't reach them right now," 
Akira said, working her way across his face.

	Finally, that was done, and she started on his upper 
torso.  "Kentarou, honey, why did you propose..."

	Before she could finish, he said, "Well, we both know 
you want Hanai."

	She tensed at that, hands frozen over his left breast.  
"But what about..."

	"You're the only woman I love," Nara said, turning to 
kiss her throat.  She shivered at that.  "And because I love 
you and I knew you'd like it, I suggested it.  Also, I think I 
was kind of flustered."  He sounded a little embarrassed 
himself now.  But one of his hands came up to her 
shoulders, then slowly ran down her spine. 

	Akira imagined the two of them with the other two 
and suddenly felt very turned on.  She could feel her 
breathing speed up, the hot water all around her seeming to 
pour warmth into her body, making her suddenly aware of 
her own almost forgotten flesh again.  
	
	She could feel herself breathing harder, felt her 
awareness of Nara as a man heightening; she'd been so lost 
in her own thought, she'd almost not realized he was naked 
until now.  "Do you want me now?" she whispered.

	His sleepy eyes suddenly focused as one of her hands 
slid down to the very top of his groin.  "I always want you," 
he said softly, then suddenly moved, pulling her around 
into an embrace and a kiss.

	She dropped the soap and the washcloth; she wouldn't 
be needing it for a while.  

**************

	"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Miki fretted.

	"We didn't have room," Keiichi said as he drove the 
rental van.  "And Masahiro wanted to.  He's probably 
planning to come down the chimney to seduce you as Santa 
Claus when he gets home."

	Miki's eyes crossed as she looked out at the snowy 
landscape.  "But..."

	Mikoto put a hand on her shoulder.  "It's not a very 
long trip.  They'll be fine so long as Osaka doesn't steer."

	Miki froze up.

	"And they won't let her steer," Mikoto said.  

	"He'll be fine," Mikoto said.

	Miki wasn't so sure.

***************

	Kagura peered dubiously up the slope.  "You sure we 
have enough dogs?" she asked.

	"Tadakichi says he's confident," Harima said.

	Tadakichi barked a confirmation.

	"If there was more light, you could even see the house 
from here," Harima said confidently.

	Contrary to Kagura's fears, they got most of the way 
up the slope.

	Then a rabbit bolted across their path and the dogs 
turned and began chasing it wildly down the slope off at an 
angle.

	"Stop, stop!" Harima shouted.  

	Sakaki grabbed Osaka so she wouldn't fly off the 
sleigh in her sleep.

	Oooh boy, Masahiro thought.

****************

	Suga sighed.  "You sure we can't..."

	"Mother wouldn't approve," Eri said.  "She'll be gone 
tomorrow.  But tonight, if you wanna make out, it's going 
to have to be you and Asou or Sara and Satsuki."

	Sara's eyes crossed.  Satsuki said, "Only if..."  She 
then became too embarrassed to finish.

	"Don't even think it," Asou said to Suga.

	"Hey, I only pretend to be your boyfriend when people 
are watching who will embarrass you," Suga protested.

	Eri said, "Anyway, goodnight, you four."

	"Goodnight," Sara said, waving.

	Eri went off to organize other sleeping.  

	Sara felt quite regretful.  Suga said, "Probably some 
ghost would just attack us or something."

	"Well...," Satsuki said.  "We could just wait until 
lights out, sneak over, then sneak back afterwards."

	"We can just wait a day," Asou said.  It would give 
him more time to try to figure out what to do.

	Sara nodded.  "We can pray and prepare ourselves for 
it tonight."

	"You sure that's a good idea?" Satsuki asked Sara.

	"Prayer never hurts," she said firmly.

*****************

	Eri banged on the door again.  "If Mom notices you 
all, there will be killing!"

	Karen and Harry didn't seem to care.  

	She sighed and went to the door across the hallway.  
"Gonzales-san, it looks like you'll have this room to 
yourself.  I'm going to have to figure out what to do with 
Fuyuki.  Wherever he is."

	Lala looked up and nodded.  "Perhaps I should simply 
go stay with Sara-san and Satsuki-san.  And Fuyuki could 
stay with their boyfriends.  And this room could go to 
someone else."

	"Not wanting to sleep alone?" Eri asked 
sympathetically.

	Lala sighed and stared at the ground.

	"It's a good idea.  Do you know where Fuyuki is?"

	"Snuggling with his girlfriend," Lala said, rising.

	"Right.  Thank you."

	Eri found Sagano and Fuyuki making out on the bed 
while noises came from the bathroom.  "End of the line," 
she said.  "Fuyuki, you get to go with Asou and Suga.  
Sagano-san, you've got Yuuki with you, right?"

	"She's in the shower," Sagano said.  

	"Okay, you two are here."

	Fuyuki and Sagano whispered to each other, then he 
got up.  "Lead me on," he said.

	"Come on," she said.  "Let's get you stowed away."

***************

	Karasuma gently laid Tenma down on the bed, taking 
off her shoes, then sat down beside her, gently stroking her 
hair.  He kissed her forehead, then went and took a bath.

	She slumbered still on his return, so he laid down 
beside her and cuddled up to her, a hand resting on the back 
of her head.

	He closed his eyes and slid into her dream; not how 
he'd planned to celebrate Christmas, but it would do.  Her 
creativity was greater than his anyway.

**************

	Mikoto tucked Yakumo into bed, then thought about 
the whole mess with Eri and Kenji and her.  That's going to 
end badly, she thought, then went down the hallway to her 
bedroom.

	Hanai was taking a shower while Miki bounced about 
on the bed impatiently.

	"Can't wait for your boyfriend?" Mikoto teased, 
closing the door.

	"I just am worried they got lost or something."

	"Well, I wouldn't want to sleigh ride at this hour, but 
I'm sure they'll be fine," Mikoto said.

	"He already got lost once.  And..."  She shook her 
head.

	"They're not making out," Mikoto said.

	"I'm just jumpy," Miki said, flopping back on the bed.

	Mikoto took off her coat and slippers.  "I think I'm 
going to join Haruki."

	"Okay," Miki said.  "Hmm...there's an idea."

	"What?" Mikoto asked.

	"All of us...in the shower...at once," Miki said 
thoughtfully.

	"Too crowded to be sexy."

	"True."  Miki sighed.  "I don't know.  We need to do 
something more kinky than usual to celebrate Christmas."

	Mikoto shivered a little; it was only partly the cold air 
as she stripped.  She imagined their boyfriends making out 
again and shivered a bit more.  But it was best to not dwell 
on such things, as it was not likely to happen.

	Also, they'd likely want her and Miki to...

	Her eyes crossed and she went to shower so she could 
fill her mind with naked boyfriend images.

**************
	
	"She'll be fine," Umino said.

	Nyamo frowned.  "She is likely to wake up and..."

	"And what?  Everyone will be in bed.  You don't sleep 
with her when you're at home, do you?" Umino asked, 
doodling on paper as his brain worked on a problem.

	She came over and sat in his lap.  "I'm going to kill the 
boy."

	"Kill the boy, kill the boy," Umino said in an odd 
voice, amused.  One hand still doodled; the other went 
around her with its arm.  "She has it bad."

	"Yeah.  If he wasn't half her age..." Nyamo said.

	"Well, more like about 2/3rds her age, right?" Umino 
asked.

	"Why are you sticking up for him?" Nyamo asked, 
turning to look at Umino.  

	"Sometimes, you just have to let someone ram into a 
wall so they learn better," Umino said.  

	"He's a minor!" Nyamo protested.

	Umino said, "He's a student.  But he's old enough it's 
not statutory rape."

	"I think the Sawachika family will tear her apart if..." 
Nyamo began.

	"They're my kin. I'll watch over them, okay?" Umino 
said.  "And what are you going to do about it, anyway?  
Neither of them will listen to us, and if you tell the 
family...well, that's what you want to avoid, right?"

	Nyamo grimaced.  "She shouldn't be doing this, and 
she deserves someone who won't play games with her 
heart."

	"Given how awful she treats you, your loyalty to her is 
commendable," Umino said.  

	"She's not that bad," Nyamo said.  "I'm not always 
good to her, either."  Her voice sounded a little evasive.

	"You're better to her than she deserves," he said.

	She glanced over at his doodle.  "What is this?"

	"Nothing," he said, trying to hide it.

	"Dammit, this is a breadmaking thing for...Umino-
san!!!" Nyamo said.

	He laughed nervously.  "Once I hear a problem..."

	"I HAVE NO INTEREST IN BEING CHOKED 
WITH BREAD!" Nyamo shouted.

	"Well, now the world knows," Umino said.  He kissed 
her softly.  "I promise to stop thinking about bread if you 
give me something else to think about."

	"Is that an invitation?" Nyamo asked, smiling.

	"Yes," he said.  "But since I've been nagging you, how 
about if I start things with a sexy dance for you?"

	She smiled.  "I'd like that."

	He had gotten all the way down to his underwear 
when the door opened and Yukari stood in the doorway, 
bleary-eyed. She threw a loaf of bread to Nyamo.  "Next 
time, get your own damn bread," she mumbled, then closed 
the door.  She opened it again.  "You really should lock 
your door during sex."  

	The door closed again and Yukari wandered off.  

	It took them a while to get back in the mood after that.

************

	"Hey, Yuuki-san," Sagano said.

	"Hmm, what?" Yuuki asked as she sat down on the 
bed.

	"I suppose you'd mind if I smuggled my boyfriend in," 
Sagano said.

	"Yes."

	Sagano sighed.  "So we'll just have to make out 
without him, then."

	Yuuki rolled her eyes.  She got inbetween the sheets, 
next to Sagano.  "Goodnight, Sagano-san."

	"Goodnight, Yuuki.  WAIT!"  Sagano struck an 
'inspiration' pose.

	"What?" 

	"I have something perfect, but I have to sleep to do it."

	"Sounds good to me," Yuuki said.

	Sagano closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep.

	But sleep would not come, and she kept opening her 
eyes to see just the ceiling.

	After the fifteenth time, she thought, hey...what if I'm 
just dreaming of being in this room?  I could be wasting 
crucial time.  

	She got out of bed.  Easy way to test.  She crept out to 
the ballroom, where the stage was still set up.  Then she ran 
across it and tried to take a flying leap into the air, in order 
to fly.  If she was dreaming, she could fly.

	Instead, she bellyflopped, rolled, crashed into the bar, 
and knocked a bunch of things (thankfully non-liquid) 
down on herself and passed out.

	Mission accomplished, if not the way she planned.

****************

	There was only one thing to do, really.  Harima threw 
himself onto the dogs, setting out to wrestle them ALL 
down.  

	Tangled up in the reins, he and the dogs soon ended up 
in, well, a dogpile, crashed into a tree.  The beating 
knocked some sense into them all, and they sounded 
embarrassed to him.

	Sakaki looked worried.  "Are you okay, Harima-san?"

	"Daaamn, most dogs would kick your ass for that," 
Kagura said.

	Harima petted one of the hounds.  "Sorry, Lord of the 
Garbage Can, but you all were freaking out."

	"I understand," he said.  "We're hungry."

	"Well, once we get back up, I'll feed you," Harima 
said.

	Sakaki listened; she felt, at times, she could get 
snatches of the conversation, but it never quite 
materialized.  She sat down and tried again to think like a 
dog.  But images of cute cats flitted through her mind 
instead.

	Masahiro shivered.  "Let's just get moving.  It's cold 
and very late."

	They got the sled and dogs turned around and started 
back up the slope.

**************	

	Lala felt strangely better sleeping with company.  
She'd had a little talk with Sara that made her feel better, 
and having people with her was comforting, if a little 
crowded.

	"Let's hope the ghosts don't show up," Satsuki 
mumbled. 

	"Ghosts?" Lala asked.

	"Something undead roams around at night preventing 
me being with my boyfriend," Satsuki mumbled.

	"Don't worry," Sara said, patting Lala's hand.  "You're 
safe with me."

	How embarrassing.  Lala pulled the covers a little 
higher.  "If a ghost can be punched..."

	"Some yes, some no," Sara said.  "I'll let you know."

	Lala was the last to drift off to sleep, but no ghosts 
came.  

*************
	
	Sagano floated, observing the battle in progress.  
Batwoman, Robin, Supergirl, and Superwoman were 
fighting the Joker (who looked suspiciously like Sagano 
herself in a clown suit), Lex Luthor (who looked 
suspiciously like Tougo with shaved head), some woman in 
a driver's outfit (who looked like Mai), Gorilla Grodd 
(Buddha), the Prankster (Imadori), Blockbuster (Tennouji), 
Deathstroke (Harry), the Riddler (Tomo), and Lady Shiva 
(Kagura) all at the same time.  However, they were being 
assisted by Daniel, Dream of the Endless and his horde of 
strange dream monsters, one of which looked rather like a 
kappa wearing sunglasses.

	Sagano floated down to Daniel, who looked like 
Karasuma in white makeup with a wig.  "I hate to tell you 
this, but the Sandman doesn't fight supervillains."

	"He doesn't?" Daniel-Karasuma asked.

	"But before you change to something more suitable 
like, say, Nightwing or Bronze Tiger or something, do you 
think maybe you could give Yuuki a good dream for me?" 
Sagano asked.  "She's been feeling so lonely and depressed, 
I'd like to give her a happy romantic dream for Christmas."

	The kappa took off its sunglasses, revealing teeth for 
eyes, and began trying to bite Deathstroke with them.  
Instead, he knocked it over, forcing it to try to scoop up its 
spilled water.

	"See, biting people is not a good superhero power," 
Sagano said.

	"With a little study, you could learn to give Yuuki 
good dreams," Daniel-Karasuma said.

	"Yes, but she needs it right now.  I'll do whatever you 
want me to in order to get you to go give her one.  Though 
if you could teach me later..."

	"We can discuss it later," he said.  "Okay, you need to 
help out Batwoman."

	Batwoman had gotten a faceful of Joker venom and 
was clumsily trying to give herself an injection of antidote 
while the Joker clobbered her in the head with a giant 
rubber mallet.

	Sagano said, "Sounds like a job for...POWER GIRL!" 
She ripped off her pajamas and wig, revealing short blonde 
hair and a white bodysuit.  "HERE I COME TO SAVE 
THE DAY!"

	She powerdived the Joker, while Daniel-Karasuma 
went off to see about Yuuki.

***************
	
	Chiyo pulled the covers up over Osaka.  "Thank you 
for bringing her in," she said to Harima.

	"No problem, you all helped me out," Harima said.  
"Goodnight."

	"Goodnight," she said.

	He went and checked on Tenma, but the door was 
locked.  He frowned a bit, but this did likely mean she was 
home safe.

	So then he ambled down the hall to his and Yakumo's 
room.  She was tucked into bed, asleep.  He smiled at her, 
then laughed when she punched the air in her sleep.  It was 
just so unlike her to be fighting in her sleep.

	I must be rubbin' off on her, Harima thought.  Cooool.  
He hung up his jacket, then went to the window.  You 
could almost see Eri's mansion from here.  Hope she's 
okay, he thought.  

	He went over to the bed and kissed Yakumo on the 
forehead, then stripped down and got into bed.  It was time 
to sleep as he was DOG tired.

	And with that thought, he drifted off to dreams of 
abandoning civilization and going to run with a dog pack 
that had been joined by Lois Lane (who looked rather like 
Eri), while being searched for by Lana Lang (who looked 
rather like Yakumo).  

***************

	Eri stood at her window, staring off towards Miki's 
family's lodge, wondering what Harima was doing.

	Probably sleeping.  The man was unlikely to be 
romantically longing for her.  Not his style.

	Not supposed to be her style.

	Distantly, she heard Karen moan and suppressed a 
moment of grand irritation.  I'm going laugh at them if they 
get caught, Eri thought.  I will.

	Though it did remind her that she really needed to 
learn more about what to do in such a case, in case she got 
a chance at it, some time soon.  Or soonish.

	Well, Akira and Mikoto know, Eri thought.  I should 
talk to them.  Of course, that would require admitting she 
didn't know, which she didn't want to do.  

	She stared off through the woods a while longer, then 
finally decided to go to bed.  Goodnight, Kenji, she 
thought.  Maybe...

	Then the memory of the contest hit her.  STUPID 
CONTEST.

	But nothing to do be done about it.

	Tonight.

****************
			
	Masahiro flopped down on the bed.  "I'm game for 
whatever, so long as it doesn't actually require me to move 
very much."

	"You can't be all worn out on Christmas Eve!  We 
have to have kinky sex to welcome Santa and his son 
Jesus!" Miki said.

	"I'm reasonably certain kinky sex isn't part of the 
traditional way of doing that," Hanai said, laughing, as he 
sat near the bed in a plush chair.

	"We could do it in the morning, once we're rested," 
Mikoto suggested, sitting on the bed.

	"Someone will walk in on us or something."  Miki 
sighed, looking defeated.

	"I'm sorry, honey," Masahiro said.  "We'll be kinky in 
the morning, okay?"  He sounded quite bleary.

	"You haven't..." Miki began, but was afraid to 
continue.

	"Miki, there is NO chance of him making out with 
Harima."

	"..."  Masahiro stared at Miki.  "What?"

	"I just...nothing," she said, embarrassed.

	"If I suddenly wanted to make out with a man, I'd 
probably go for Asou-san, who is handsome and dignified," 
Masahiro said.  "However, I'm not after men; I like women.  
I like you."

	He took her hand and smiled at her, then said, "But I 
just HAVE to get some sleep."

	Miki sighed.  "Okay, honey.  You sleep, we'll figure 
out something special in the morning." She was clearly 
disappointed.

	"Sorry, honey," he mumbled and quickly slid into 
sleep.  
	
	Miki soon got in bed beside him; Mikoto and Hanai 
did likewise.  Mikoto mumbled something into Hanai's ear, 
which he thought was something about Akira, then she slid 
off to sleep before he could get a clarification.

	He couldn't sleep, not yet, wondering why she'd been 
so stupid in her approach all this time.  Or was she lying to 
lure him into something?  It would suit her style, but...

	He didn't know and had no way to know for sure.  
Unfortunately.  	
	
	As for Nara...was he seriously after Mikoto or had he 
just been joking around?  Hanai wasn't sure; surely, Akira 
was as much or more woman than Nara could handle.  

	He didn't really fear having Mikoto stolen from him 
by Nara, but the whole thing just made him uneasy.

	Eventually, finally, he dropped off to sleep, only to 
dream of his father ambushing him repeatedly and giving 
Mikoto to Nara, who ran off laughing.  Then his father 
ripped off a mask, revealing himself as Akira in disguise.

	It was a bad night.

*****************

	Yuuki cringed on the floor, as Hanai made out with 
Lala and Mikoto and Miki all at once.  There was a 
'rejected' sticker on her forehead.  

	Then Karasuma walked in, grabbed the trio, and threw 
them out the window; you could hear a noise like that of a 
coyote falling 100 stories down a canyon to his doom.  
Karasuma now laid out a large plate of curry on the table, 
along with silverware and tea.  

	Yuuki looked up at him in confusion.

	He helped her up into a chair.  "For you," he said, then 
turned to go.

	I'm not having a romantic dream about Karasuma, I 
hope, she thought.

	"Enjoy," he said, almost at the door.

	"You can't just erase my romantic nightmare with 
curry!" Yuuki protested.

	"Yes, I can," he replied, but paused, turning back to 
her.

	"Well, maybe you can, but I mean...it's just curry," 
Yuuki said weakly.

	"Just curry?  JUST curry?" Karasuma said.  He 
sounded more offended than she'd ever seen.  "Curry is the 
essence of perfection.  I could not give you a better dream."

	"Can curry hold you when the night is cold and the 
wind whistles through the walls and you feel all alone in 
the universe?" Yuuki asked softly.  "When you need 
someone with you to know that you're not alone?"

	Karasuma stared at her, silently, then held out a hand.

	She rose nervously.  "Where are we going?"

	"To someone who loves you," he said in a very 
manner of fact way.

	Her eyes widened and she shivered as she took his 
hand.  "I...there's someone who loves me?"

	"You should know already," Karasuma said, and then 
he ran, faster and faster, dragging her in his wake, forcing 
her to run faster and faster to keep from behind left behind.

	They passed a confused looking Queen in Red as they 
ran through endless hallways and city streets.  

	And then they ran up to the fringe of a giant chaotic 
melee. Batwoman, Robin, Supergirl, and Superwoman 
were taking on a vast horde of supervillains; the 
unfortunate Power Girl was tied up in a giant question mark 
made of Kryptonite.  The Riddler and the Mad Hatter were 
swapping cups of tea and making jokes over her.  It struck 
Yuuki that Power Girl looked rather like Sagano, and the 
others looked familiar too.

	"Yuuki, run, it's too dangerous!" Power Girl shouted 
to her.

	She looked over at Karasuma, who was now garbed as 
the Flash.  "Is that Sagano?"

	"Yes," he said.

	Her cheeks crimsoned.  "But does that mean..."

	"Love comes in many forms," Karasuma-Flash said.  
"You are not alone, whatever form you wish it to take."
	
	Yuuki stared at him, then at the withering Power Girl, 
yelling at her to run to safety.  She pushed her glasses up 
her nose.  "Hey, Riddler!  You can answer any riddle, 
right?"

	"There's no riddle I can't handle!" she shouted.

	"Explain Hawkman's canonical continuity, then."

	"He...they...Hawkgod...Hawkworld...Thanagar...and 
then...but they..."  Smoke came out of the Riddler's ears and 
she collapsed.

	Yuuki grabbed her clothing and yanked, sending it 
flying into the air, revealing herself clad in her Harem 
Ninja outfit.  She pulled her hands past each other, 
summoning her slingshot.  Then she took aim at the 
Kryptonite question mark and shattered it with a firey rock.  

	The Mad Hatter threw a bowler at her, but she shot it 
out of the sky.  More hats flew her way and she shot them 
all down.

	"You can't stop my hats!" he shouted.

	"I don't have to," she said as Power Girl rose and 
punched out the Mad Hatter.  "I get by with a little help 
from my friends."

	"Yeah!" Power Girl shouted.  "C'mon, partner, LET'S 
KICK SOME ASS!"

	Yuuki had to admit, a good brawl did take her mind 
off her troubles quite well.

****************