This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 19:  New Year's Irresolution  

By John Biles

****************
	
	"I will kill them for this," Eri said as she laid on the 
bed.

	The boy next to her, who happened to be her, at least 
in some sense said, "Killing won't work."

	"We can't just lie here and take it!" Eri said.

	"Of course not, but that's what contest rigging is for," 
Otoko-Eri told her.  "You decide who you want to win and 
then you push to ensure they do so."

	"I like winning honestly," Eri said.

	"Well, you can stay out of it and end up becoming 
engaged to Buddha or something," Otoko-Eri said.

	Eri grimaced.  "Well, since I'm not competing in it, I 
can't REALLY cheat."

	"See?  That's the spirit.  This is ridiculous.  Your 
mother is just ripping off those first years, anyway," Otoko-
Eri said.  "If you work with Harima, you can beat this."

	"What if he won't listen to me?" Eri asked.

	"Oh, that can be guaranteed.  But if we're going to date 
him, then we'll have to learn how to work around his 
selective deafness and his quirky re-interpretation of things 
and his stubbornness," Otoko-Eri said, stretching.  

	"He can be such an ass," she said, sighing.

	"Yeah, but who wants a pushover?" Otoko-Eri said.

	So true, she thought.  "We should get up."

	"You're sleeping," he reminded her.  "When the body 
says yes, then we get up."

	Well, I'll work better with more rest, anyway, Eri 
thought.  That's the ticket.

***************

	Sagano was woken up by Nakamura peeling bottles 
and bowls off her.  She looked up and now the ballroom 
had a large sign tacked on the wall.  '2006 Who Wants to 
Marry A Millionaire Heiress?' it read.  There were sign-up 
slots on the wall; she could see Harima, Yakumo, and 
Imadori's names up there.  

	"What, is it open registration?" Sagano asked.

	"I prefer not to think about it," Nakamura said.

	Hell, if Yakumo's entering, maybe I should, Sagano 
thought.  Get me and Yuuki and Fuyuki a sugar mama.  

	"Don't even think about it," Nakamura said.

	Sagano was not so easily stopped by words.

	Her complete lack of anything to write with, on the 
other hand, could stop her.

	She yawned.  "Gonna go sleep properly," she said.  
She staggered off back to her bedroom, where Yuuki was 
hogging the bed.

	She climbed into bed, pushing Yuuki over, only to 
have Yuuki cuddle up to her in her sleep.

	Sagano didn't mind; she got into bed and drowsed.  
After what could have been minutes or hours, Yuuki said, 
"You awake?"

	"Yeah.  We need Fuyuki if you're wanting to make 
out, though," Sagano said, relaxing and enjoying her 
langorous feeling.

	"You're very sweet," Yuuki said softly.

	"You too," Sagano said, yawning a little.

	"You're my best friend in all the world, Megumi-san," 
Yuuki said softly, resting her head on Sagano's shoulder.

	"You too, Tsumugi-san," Sagano said, enjoying 
having a source of body heat next to her.  "You're not going 
to tell me you're about to die, are you?"

	"No, not at all," Yuuki said.  "I'm just...trying to figure 
out how to say I'm grateful for how you always try to help 
me."

	"Well, you help me too, so we're even," Sagano said.  
"I just need to either get you a boyfriend or get you into bed 
with us," she continued.

	"Megumi-san, do you really want me in bed with you 
and Fuyuki, or are you just saying things without thinking 
about it?" Yuuki asked softly.

	"Why would I...I mean..." Sagano began.

	"Megumi-san, you say all sorts of things just because 
you like to be outrageous and tease people.  Do you really 
want me like that?" Yuuki asked again.  "Or are you just 
desperate to find a solution to my man troubles?"

	Sagano stared at the ceiling, then said, "I'd have to try 
it to know for sure.  Experimenting is always best."

	"What?" Yuuki stared at her.

	"I don't understand my own thoughts well enough to 
tell without trying it," Sagano said.  "I would just give you 
a test drive, but I do have a boyfriend and I'm trying hard to 
be faithful, and it wouldn't be fair to him, and I fear he's 
going to wuss out."

	Yuuki gently headbutted Sagano.  "You need to 
understand your own feelings, you know."

	She sighed.  "I know, Tsumugi-san.  Anyway, I'd like 
to try it, see if it is what I want or if my brain is obsessing 
again."  She turned to face Yuuki.  "But being a good 
girlfriend has to come first, so everyone has to want it."

	Yuuki nodded.  

	"You feeling lonely?" Sagano asked, concerned.

	"Not with you here with me," Yuuki said softly.  "I'm 
not alone when you're by my side."

	"And neither am I, Tsumugi-san," Sagano said.  "We 
should get up, get clean, get dressed, gloat about Tomo, get 
some breakfast."

	"Sounds good to me."

***************

	Harima woke up in an empty room; he could smell 
breakfast, though.  He quickly got dressed and headed out 
to the dining room, where most of his company was 
assembled.  Hanai and his harem, however, were not 
present, Harima noted.

	Jenny said, "Harima, can see if Miki and Masahiro and 
Suou and Hanai are going to join us?"

	"Sure," he said.  "I want lots of pancakes."

	"That's fine."

	He ambled down to knock on their door.  It swung 
open, giving him a glimpse of everyone in Santa suits, or 
more precisely, half-naked and half in Santa outfits.  
Harima could feel himself going blind as he looked at 
them.

	Then Miki shrieked and he ended up taking a boot to 
the face.  He slammed the door and ran, feeling his vision 
slowly return as he stumbled back in.

	"Kenji-kun, are you okay?" Yakumo asked as she laid 
out fruit and glasses of fruit juice.

	"Fuckers are busy..." Harima mumbled as he staggered 
to a chair.

	"Damn, they're insatiable," Jenny said, laying out 
platters of pancakes as Keiichi brought out syrup, bacon, 
and eggs.  "They still celebrating Christmas?  Dressed up as 
Santa and his naughty elves?"

	"HOW DID YOU KNOW?" Harima bellowed.

	Jenny laughed.  "Did you and Yakumo-san play that 
too, hmmm?"

	Yakumo blushed.

	Harima said, "That's our business!"

	Tenma blushed now and mumbled about superheroes 
and 'fastest man alive', whatever that meant.

	Harima sat down to eat, hoping the food would burn 
the image from his mind.

*************	

	Asou was dragged out of sleep by Sara shaking him, 
which surprised him, as she'd gone to sleep in a different 
room.  "We have to go to Mass!" she shouted.  "Get up, get 
dressed, I have to find something to wear, I can't believe I 
forgot..."

	Suga grunted, "Er, what?  Massachusetts?"

	"You don't have to come, Suga-san, unless you want 
to," Sara said.  "Come on, get up, Asou, we have to...where 
are we going to find Mass in the mountains?"

	"But I'm not even Catholic," Asou mumbled, tired.

	"You have to bring your boyfriend on Christmas," 
Sara announced.

	"You do?" Asou asked, now starting to get up.

	"Yes," Sara said firmly, though she'd just made it up.  
"Get up, I'll find us some way to get to Mass."

	"Yes, master," Asou mumbled, and blearily staggered 
off to the closet.

***************

	"I can drive you, Miss Sara, but I have no idea where 
to find a Catholic service out here," Nakamura said.  "But I 
have a laptop in the limo; we can see about looking 
something up online."

	"Thank you," she said.  "I can't miss it, and it's already 
so late in the morning..."

	"Is this an important day for you?" he asked.

	Sara boggled.  She would never get used to this part of 
living in Japan.  "Yes, it's a holy day."

	"At the same time as Christmas.  That must be 
inconvenient," Nakamura said, smiling a little.

	"I...are you teasing me?" she asked.

	"Just a little," he said.  "Come with me."

	She nodded and followed.  I should get Lala-san too, 
she thought.  

*************
	
	Eri asked, "So you're leaving until New Years?" 

	Her mother nodded.  "Enjoy your stay.  Your father 
will run the first event; I must go to Sweden and deal with 
some issues."  She looked thoughtful.  "Also, I want to see 
about getting your friends a record deal."  She began 
peeling an orange; they were having breakfast together.

	Eri's eyes widened.  She froze up with her coffee cup 
in hand.  "You liked them that much?"

	"They have a lot of talent," Eri's mother said.  "It 
shouldn't be wasted."

	"I...thank you," Eri said, picking up a piece of toast.

	"No need to thank me.  They deserve it.  I would 
appreciate it if we had no more sleigh borne party 
disruptions, though," her mother said.

	"It wasn't MY idea," Eri said.  Something suddenly hit 
her.  "I'm surprised you didn't insist Imadori join us."

	"He has a hangover," her mother said.  "Not 
surprising.  I expect he's just lying around, moaning."

*************

	Imadori wished his head would stop aching.  He told 
himself he shouldn't be crawling around inside the ceiling.  
Spying was dangerous; it was the job of flunkies.  

	But he couldn't help himself.  Why Karen was so 
much more attractive to him now that she was dating 
Harry, he didn't understand.  He just couldn't bear the idea 
of her dating some horny American bastard who would 
only make her cry.

	He had to move slowly and carefully to avoid falling 
through the tiles; only the framework which held them up 
supported him, but it was sturdy.  Sound carried weirdly up 
here; he could hear bits and pieces from all over, and he 
prayed he wasn't lost.

	Best to stop and tip a tile up, get a look at what might 
be down below him.

	He opened it up and looked down.

	Lala, standing on a chair, looked up at him.

	"Sorry, I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque," he said 
instinctively.

	She grabbed him.  "Let me help you along."  She 
opened the window and threw him as far towards 
Albuquerque as she could.

************

	As the limo drove along, they spied Imadori stuck 
headfirst into a snowbank.  Stopping the car, Mr. 
Sawachika pulled him out, dusted him off, and sat him 
down in the limo.  "Good of you to join us," he said.

	"You're welcome," he said, smiling feebly.

	There was no easily accessible Catholic mass out here, 
but there was an Anglican service, which would have to do.  
Lala, Sara, and Asou rode with Mr. and Mrs. Sawachika, 
Eri, and a baffled looking Imadori in the limo.

	"We're not going off to get married right this instant, 
right?" Imadori asked again.

	"We're going to a church service for Christmas," Eri 
said.  "Don't you know ANYTHING?"

	"Why would you go to a temple on Christmas?" 
Imadori asked.

	"Because it's the birth of Christ!  And we're not going 
to a temple, we're going to a church!" Lala said.

	"There's a difference?" Imadori asked.

	Sara quickly sketched out the story of Christmas; 
Imadori listened in his usual diffident way.  Finally, he 
said, "So how does Santa fit into this?  Was he one of the 
Wise Men?"

	Eri buried her face in her hands; her mother looked 
amused.  Her father was lost in a phone call and didn't 
notice.

	"He was a bishop who brought children presents, the 
way the magi brought them to the Christ-child," Sara said.  
"That's the short answer."

	"So he is Bishop Santa," Imadori said slowly.

	"Yes."

	Lala had to fight the urge to throttle Imadori for being 
too stupid to already know all this.  He was no doubt 
leading up to some stupid thing where her breasts would 
get grabbed.

	Lala became more tense as he fell silent.  His very 
silence no doubt indicated he was gathering his idiot 
strength for something supremely foolish.  

	She glanced off across the snowy scapes.  I hope Papa 
made it to Mass, she thought.  Or is it not Christmas there 
yet?  She always got confused by how the international date 
line worked.  

*************

	"Oh god, we've been thrown backwards in time!" Mr. 
Gonazales said, staring at the calendar.

	I hate international travel, Mr. Hanai thought.  

	"Maybe we can catch up and stop ourselves from 
going to attack the party..." Mr. Gonzales said 
speculatively.

	"It's just the time zone difference," Mr. Hanai said.

	"Do you time travel that often?" Satsuki's father asked.

	This is going to be a very long trip, Mr. Hanai thought.

*************

	"Want to ski with us?" Nara asked Tenma and 
Karasuma after breakfast.

	Tenma glanced off.  "Should we wait for Miko-chin 
and Hanai-san?"

	"I think they're still busy," Nara said.

	Akira stared off out the window.

	"Well, we can go without them, I guess, then."  She 
paused.  "Let's get Kenji and Yakumo."

	Nara glanced over at Akira, who continued to stare out 
the window.  "That good with you, dear?"

	"I...what?" she asked, turning.

	"Harima and Yakumo with us?" he repeated.

	"Just fine," Akira said.  "I'm ready."

	"You okay?" Tenma asked, worried.

	"I'm just fine," Akira said firmly.  "Let us go."

***********	

	Yukari stared at herself; she had awoken, hugging a 
loaf of bread.  But why?  She had dim memories of 
someone wanting bread...but I didn't want bread, did I?

	Nyamo opened the door, then stared at Yukari 
hugging a loaf of bread.  "I'll...come back."

	Yukari tossed it aside.  Maybe I got too many and 
forgot to put it back or something.  "Come in," she said.

	"How are you?" Nyamo asked, putting bottled water 
down on the table.

	Yukari snagged it and drank.  "Hungover, tired, 
frustrated by sleeping alone.  You?"

	"I feel wonderful," Nyamo said.  "I think maybe this 
time it will really work out."

	"Not if he's another bread-loving freak," Yukari said 
crankily.  

	"YOU brought us the bread," Nyamo said firmly, 
though she worried a little herself.  

	"You shouldn't flaunt you getting some when I can't 
get any," Yukari grumbled, finishing the water and trying 
to toss it into the garbage.  It missed, but she let it lie.

	Nyamo went over, picked it up and threw it out.  "You 
always flaunt it."

	"It's so rare I get the chance."  

	Yukari paused.

	"I meant..."

	Nyamo began to laugh loudly.

	"Oh fine, be that way," Yukari grumbled.

	"He's too young for you," Nyamo said.

	"Let's not have this fight until my head stops 
spinning." Yukari got up.  "I'm going to get a shower."

	"I'm off to find some breakfast, then.  See you," 
Nyamo said, and took off.

***********
	
	Karen sat with her bandmates, eating breakfast.  Harry 
lurked next to them quietly, looking bored as they talked 
shop.  She felt bad about that, but what could she do?

	Yuuki said, "We really do need a band name."

	"The Band With No Name is fine with me," Karen 
said.

	"Sounds like a cowboy," Sagano said.  "But I like 
riding cowboys."

	Fuyuki laughed.  "Roaming the range too?"

	"Exactly," Sagano said.  She and Yuuki laughed in 
unison, which was a little eerie.

	"We need to find out if we can stay a while," Fuyuki 
said.  "I know my family doesn't need me."

	"I'm good," Karen said.

	"My folks may want me home, but I will beg," Sagano 
said.

	Yuuki nodded.

	"You think she can get us a contract?" Fuyuki asked.

	"She can afford to buy a record company," Sagano 
said.  "I think we're good."

	"Cool," Fuyuki said, then put aside his leftovers.  "We 
should hit the slopes."

	"Sounds great to me!" Sagano said.  "High danger 
slopes, HERE I COME!"

******************

	Tenma slowed down part way down the slope, then 
pointed at a huge white thing tumbling down the far slope.  
"What is that?"

	Karasuma peered hard.  "Sad Sagano-san in snow," he 
replied.

	"More like 'MAD', I think," Akira said.

	"Hmm, she'll beat Imadori-san for snowball size," 
Nara said.

	"I'm sure she'll feel relieved to know that," Akira said. 
deadpan.

**************

	Lala was approaching the point of utter insanity.  
Imadori STILL hadn't done anything stupid.  Which meant 
that he would likely try to grope one of the servers during 
Communion.

	Not that he should be taking Communion.  Not with 
the massive burden of sin on HIS soul.  

	She could hear Sara whispering something to Asou, 
something about...cannibalism?  She felt confused, but it 
must be something holy, given Sara's status, she was sure.

	It was only when it was time for the Lord's Prayer that 
she realized the bad side of...well, another bad side of 
sitting next to Imadori to be ready to kill him.

	She was going to have to HOLD HIS HAND.

	As everyone rose and joined hands, he held out a hand 
to her and the other to Eri.  She felt gratified that Eri looked 
as reluctant as herself.  But they couldn't hold off for long, 
not when Mrs. Sawachika gave them both the LOOK.

	She took his hand reluctantly, then decided the best 
approach was to crush it.  Eri seemed to have done 
likewise, as she could see him tense while his face 
remained bland.

	Holding his hand made her want to just beat him to 
death; her whole body was super-tense.  But the prayer 
went quickly, only to make her then realize that they'd be 
wishing God's peace on everyone, which would mean 
shaking his hand and wishing him peace instead of a 
painful death.

	This got even worse when Sara kissed Asou instead of 
shaking his hand, leading Mrs. Sawachika to say, "Eri, you 
should follow Sara's example with your fiancee."

	Eri defied silently, grabbing Imadori's hand and 
shaking his arm like a jump rope.  

	Imadori looked disappointed, but turned to offer his 
hand to Lala.  "Unless you want to kiss me."

	Anywhere but church, it would have been KILLING 
time.  But all she could do was tremble and take his hand.  
"Peace of God be with you."  

 	"And also with you," he replied.  "Lighten up, Lala-
chan.  You look very pretty today."

	HOW DARE HE BE SO FAMILIAR.  But she 
grunted out, "Thank you."

	Mrs. Sawachika smiled benevolently, then whispered 
to Imadori who nodded.

	Imadori and Asou didn't go up to Communion, which 
removed some of Lala's worries.  Other than the possibility 
he might be staring at her butt the whole time, anyway.

	By the time Mass was over, Imadori STILL hadn't 
done anything, pushing her into a state of absolute 
paranoia.  There was no way he could behave himself like 
this.

	Dammit, what was he up to?  

**************

	"Don't brood," Mikoto told Hanai later that day as they 
skiied together.

	"I'm not brooding," he said, as he wondered again 
what the hell was going on with Akira.  Had she been 
honest?  Or was this another one of her traps?  He wished 
he could trust her like Mikoto did, but she'd used that up a 
long time ago.  

	As he brooded, he nearly hit a tree.

	Mikoto frowned.  "Something's eating you."

	"Nothing," he said.  She was too sympathetic to Akira 
to discuss this with.  But he had to talk to someone.  But 
who would possibly understand?  It would sound like 
arrogant bragging.

	It was times like this he most regretted having a father 
too crazy to discuss things with.

	She sighed, wishing he'd be honest with her.  It was 
probably Akira.  

	"Come on, slowpokes!" Miki shouted from further 
down the slope.  "Don't let us beat you!"

	Turning around to shout this caused her to clip a tree, 
stumble over, and take out Masahiro as well.

	Mikoto pushed forward, catching up to them.  "You 
guys okay?"

	"I'm fine," Masahiro said, stumbling to his feet, then 
helping Miki up.  

	"We should have a race," Miki said.  "But without any 
running into trees."

	"Next time down," Hanai said.

	"So you can finish brooding?" Masahiro asked.

	"I AM NOT BROODING," Hanai said, turning to 
pout off down the slope.

	"You can tell us, can't you?" Miki asked softly, taking 
his hand.

	He stared at her, then softened a little.  "I really 
shouldn't talk about it; it involves confidences."

	Mikoto was surprised Hanai was covering for Akira, 
but it made her feel a little better.  

	Miki looked disappointed.  "Okay."

	"We'll just have to torment you too much to think 
about it, then," Masahiro said.

	Mikoto laughed softly, then said, "Let's get moving."

	They took off down the slopes together, and Hanai 
made himself not dwell on it.

*****************

	They had seen Eri's parents off and were on the way 
home, when Imadori said to Lala, "Smile, it's Christmas."

	"What are you up to?" Lala hissed.  "You can't 
possibly act this well for so long."

	"He's good at faking it in front of my parents," Eri 
said.

	Imadori looked hurt.  "Would you rather I 
misbehave?"

	"NO," Lala said.  

 	"Then why are you complaining?"

	"Because I know you must be up to no good!" Lala 
said.  "I hate hypocrisy."

	"I am trying to give my fiancee some good Christmas 
memories," Imadori said.  "Is that so wrong?"

	Asou sighed.  "Can't we try to not fight just for one 
day?  Or at least not in a moving vehicle?"

	"Christmas is a day to forget and forgive," Sara said.

	"Fine," Lala said.  "I'll kill him tomorrow."

***************

	Tenma sped up her skiing a little, nervously, then 
relaxed as she kept things together.  I'm really getting it, 
she thought, as she skiied along with Harima, Yakumo, 
Akira, Nara, and Karasuma.  She smiled at that, and Akira 
saw her and gave her a tiny smile back, which made her 
feel better, as she'd noticed Akira was tense.

	She just wished Mikoto and Eri were with her, but 
Mikoto was off with her...her harem.  Tenma could hardly 
believe what those four were up to.  Whatever it was, 
exactly.  Which probably had something to do with 
whatever exactly the fight between Hanai and Akira had 
been over.

	I need to do something about that, she thought.  But 
what?

	She glanced over at Harima and Yakumo; they were 
skiing happily together, but Harima...Eri...

	Tenma sighed.  She wanted Eri to be free of the 
engagement, but Eri needed to understand Harima belonged 
to Yakumo now.  Also, why was Yakumo entering the 
contest?  What was going on with them?

	But she was afraid to interrupt this moment of their 
happiness, so she didn't say anything.

*************
		
	Karen, Lala, Harry, Sagano, Yuuki, and Fuyuki raced 
down the slopes.  Harry and Lala were in the lead.  Karen 
could have pushed ahead, but she was, as usual, not feeling 
all that competitive.  

	As they zoomed along, Sagano asked Karen, "How are 
you doing?"

	"Great," Karen said.

	"So, all over Imadori?"

	"I've put him out of my mind," Karen lied, dodging a 
tree.  She liked Harry, but Imadori was just...she was just a 
little jealous of Eri.  Even though she wanted to forget 
about him.  "Harry is my guy now."  

	"Good," Sagano said.  "You should seduce Lala; she 
needs a lover."

	"..."

	"And she is a fine piece of woman," Sagano said.  
"Plus, your extra-dimensional selves were lovers, so it's 
probably destiny."

	"One...Harry is as much as I can handle," Karen said.  
Lala was very pretty, but Karen was interested in men.  
Though she wondered, sometimes...the other thems had 
generally all been pretty similar to her world's people, so 
maybe she and Lala could...but no, she had a boyfriend, 
and that was that.  Not everything was the same, after all.

	"Well, that's what Fuyuki always tells me," Sagano 
said.  "How long is he here for?"

	"I'm not sure," Karen said, suddenly realizing she 
didn't know.  "At least this whole school year."

	"Which is now two-thirds over.  Good luck," Sagano 
said.

	Karen sagged a bit.  She hadn't even thought about 
that.  She looked up at him.  If he left...she didn't want to 
lose him that way.  But what could she do?

***************

	At dinner, Harima doodled on his napkin, trying to 
figure out exactly how much Mihama-san and Masahiro-
san now owned his soul.  As far as he could tell, Mihama-
san got about 40% of his soul and Masahiro got about 
fifteen percent.  Which at least left him with a plurality of 
45%.  

	Once the manga started bringing in money...the 
manga!  "Yakumo-san, we have to draw tonight," he said.

	"That's fine," she said.  "I'm glad to help."

	"Thanks," he said.  "I gotta keep the money coming in, 
so I can afford to pay back everyone.  Eventually."

	"Debt issues?" Akira asked.  "Perhaps I could help you 
settle your finances."

	"Could you?" Harima asked.  "I'd appreciate it."

	"Okay, we can go over it after dinner."

	"Thanks."

**************

	Akira finished her calculations.  "I see that you're now 
a fully owned subsidiary of Chiyo-chan."

	"Yes," Harima said ruefully.  

	"I have a little money," Yakumo offered.

	Harima shook his head.  "I decided stupidly to show 
off; you shouldn't have to pay for my largesse."

	There was a knock on the door.  "You guys having 
sex?" Miki asked.

	"NO," Harima shouted. "And you'd better not be doing 
it in the hallway!"

	Miki giggled, then opened the door, bringing in a 
wrapped box, labeled 'To Santa H from Sawachika 
Matsura'.  It was about the right size to hold a microwave.  
"Looks like someone felt they ought to reciprocate," she 
said to Harima.  "Whoever this is, they sent my Masahiro a 
box too."

	Harima took it.  "Well, that was nice of them."  He 
sounded stunned.

	Akira studied it curiously.

	Yakumo produced scissors and handed them to 
Harima.  "Here you go."

	He opened the box, and found, to his surprise, two 
bottles of champagne, a box of chocolates, a jar of caviar, 
and a huge hunk of cheese with several boxes of crackers.  
A note inside said, "Merry Christmas to Santa and his 
Elves."

	"Wow, it's a party in a box," Harima said.  

	"May I?" Akira asked.

	"May you what?" he replied.

	She picked up the Caviar, then studied it.  "Not the 
very best, but this jar is worth more than you are.  
Especially since Chiyo-chan owns you now."

	Yakumo vibrated gently.

	"Well, at least she has a nice dog," Harima said.

	"There are worse masters.  I'll call her and discuss a 
deal for paying all this off."

	"See if she wants some caviar," Harima said.  "Maybe 
we can sell some of this to help pay her off."

	"We should have a Santa and Elf party," Yakumo said, 
looking tempted by the cheese and crackers.
	"That's true," Harima said.  

	Akira got on the phone to negotiate, while Harima and 
Yakumo had a little champagne and snacked and worked 
on the manga.

	"She wants you to pick her up at her school on your 
motorcycle sometimes, as part of the deal," Akira said.

	"But...that would look like she's my girlfriend or 
something!" Harima protested.  "And she's like...eight, 
right?  It would hardly be safe."

	"She's eleven," Akira said.  "She skipped five grades 
and is a second year high school student like us.  She'll be 
twelve soon."

	"So she's a super-genius who owns me," Harima 
mumbled.  "I still think she's too small to ride on a 
motorcycle."

	"Okay, I'll see if I can...how about in a side car?"

	"I don't HAVE a side car," Harima said.

	"Well, if she buys you one..." Akira said.

	"..."

	"Is that a 'yes' or a 'no' boggle?" Akira asked.  She 
cocked her head.  "Osaka wants to ride too.  And Kagura."  
She cocked her head.  "Something about cats..."

	I'm going to be a taxi, Harima thought.  "Well, if we 
set a good enough taxi rate, that could help pay off faster, 
right?"  Yakumo could ride with him, and if they paid for a 
side car, then his taxi passenger could ride in the side car, 
even if it wasn't very cool.

	"Good thinking.  Get as many customers as possible, 
rack up the bucks," Akira said approvingly.  She began 
jotting down who all Harima would be driving all over 
creation in the future.

	Yakumo felt a little jealous, but told herself that after 
the nice gift Kenji had given her, she had to be 
understanding of him paying his debts.  She fingered her 
pendant, then smiled.  And she was using the pencils he 
gave her.  And he was wearing the shirt she'd made for 
him; she thought he looked handsome in burgundy.  Really, 
there was no reason to get worked up, since Sawachika-
sempai wasn't here to try and steal him.

	Harima tried to focus on drawing, but he had the 
feeling that slave labor was closing in on him from all 
directions.  At least I'm unlikely to be attacked by gorillas 
during this, he thought.

	"Also, she wants you to finish teaching her how to talk 
to her dog," Akira said.

	"Fine," Harima said.

	"And the others want to learn too."

	"Fine."

	"How amenable are you to wearing a cat costume?" 
Akira asked.

	"Not at all," Harima said.  He knew who likely wanted 
that.  Best not to encourage her cat fetish.

	"I thought as much," Akira said, with a hint of a smile.

	"You'd look cute in a cat outfit," Yakumo said, 
blushing slightly.

	Oh bugger, Harima thought.  "You want Sakaki-san 
chasing me?"

	"No, but..."  She sighed.  "Never mind."  She returned 
to drawing.

	"Another gift for you, Harima," Miki said, coming in 
with another box.  "This one is from...Sawachika Kaitou."

	"Umm, put it on the table," Harima said.

	Miki did so.  "Looks like you made some friends, 
Harima-san."

	I just wish I could remember who any of them are, 
Harima thought.

	Akira looked thoughtful, pulled a second phone, and 
began having two conversations at once.

	Harima stared at her in surprise, then went back to his 
work.  She knew her business and he knew his, and he'd let 
her handle it.

***************  
	 
	"Oooh, very clever, Akira-chan," Eri said to Akira 
over the phone.

	"Of course," Akira said confidently.  "Just see if you 
can give them a little nudge.  I expect his wide generosity 
impressed some people."

	"I'll get right on it," Eri said.  "I can have the calls and 
e-mails go out tonight."

	"Any clue from your mother what the contest will be 
like?" Akira asked Eri.

	"No, but I'll slip you any hints I find.  Also, Asou 
wants to help."

	"We'll find a use for him," Akira said.  "Thank you, 
Eri-chan."

	Eri smiled.  "It's what friends are for, right?"

	"That and crushing enemies together."

	"Exactly," Eri said.  She was looking forward to some 
crushing.  

**************

	Harima stared when he opened the huge box.  "A 
tailored suit?  How did they get my measurements?"

	Akira smiled.  "The costume shop, probably."

	"But...this fast?"

	"The rich can make things move," Akira said.  "As 
you will learn."  She turned back to the phone a moment, 
then said, "Yakumo-san, you willing to take one for the 
team?"

	"I don't understand," Yakumo said.

	"Renting out snuggle time with Iori to help pay Kenji's 
debt," Akira said.

	Yakumo felt a burst of jealousy, but then said, "Of 
course.  For my boyfriend."

	"You don't have to," Harima said.

	"But I will," she said.  "You just have to wear that suit 
for me sometimes."

	"Sure," he said.  Wearing, that was free.  At least, he 
hoped it was.

*************

	Imadori's phone rang.  He answered it.  "Imadori 
Kyousuke, at your service."

	"Hello, Kyousuke-san.  I'm calling you to let you 
know what the first contest will be."  It was Mrs. 
Sawachika.

	"I hear and obey," he said.

	"Each of you will have to organize a party, one for 
New Years' Eve, one for New Year's morning, and one for 
the evening, since we have three contestants.  I will add 
more if anyone else enters the ring.  I am assigning New 
Year's Eve to you," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "I will have you 
wired a sum of funds to cover the basics; anything else will 
have to come out of your own pocket."

	"And of course, to really impress, we'll have to spend 
more," Imadori said.

	"You are indeed wise, Kyousuke-san."

	"I do my best," he said, smiling.  "Thank you for the 
news."

	"You're welcome; I'll be calling the others now."

	He nodded, not that she could see it.  "Alright.  
Farewell, lovely lady, then."

	"Farewell, Kyousuke-san."  Click.

	He rubbed his hands.  Time to call in the mob and get 
to work, he thought.

***************

	A party, Harima thought.  HOW AM I GOING TO 
AFFORD A PARTY?  Unless he borrowed more money 
from Mihama-san.  The kid was going to own his soul at 
this rate.  Though this 'subsidy'...what the heck is a subsidy, 
anyway?  Maybe he could sell it to raise money for the 
party.

	Plus, he knew almost nothing about organizing parties.  
He'd spent last New Years kicking the asses of idiots all 
day.  But that really wouldn't do.

	Who parties...Imadori.  That wouldn't help.  Really, 
his class was lacking in par...Sagano.  She partied.  Right?  
Or maybe she was naturally insane.  Well, hell, it couldn't 
hurt.

	He glanced over at Yakumo, who was taking a call.  
She finished and hung up.  "What was that about?" he 
asked.

	"I have to organize an evening party as part of the 
contest," Yakumo said.

	"Wait, you're in it?" he said, boggling.

	"Yes," she said, a little defiantly.  "Sawachika-san 
shouldn't have to be forced into an engagement with some 
guy."  And she shouldn't get her claws into my Kenji, 
Yakumo thought.

	"But that's why I'm doing it!," Harima said.  "You 
think I'm going to lose?"

	I know you find her attractive, she thought.  That's 
why.  "The more horses in the race, the better the odds," 
she said.

	He tried to figure out what that meant.  "I don't want to 
have to fight you," he said.

	"I can't back out now," she said softly.  But now she 
was regretting her action.  This was going to come between 
them.  But she couldn't just sit back.

	He frowned.  "I guess not."  Dammit, he thought.  I 
could do this easier with her help.  "But I can't go easy on 
you."

	"I won't go easy either," she said.  

	They both stared down at their manga work while 
Akira continued to negotiate a money deal for Harima in 
the background.

	Akira said to Harima, "Should I open negotations with 
Mihama-san for more money for the party?"

	"Yes, dammit," he mumbled.

	Yakumo frowned, then told herself to not be jealous.  
There was no way a kid like that was after him, or that he'd 
take that kind of interest, even if he did seem so 
comfortable around her and...no, no stupid thoughts.  

	"I'm going to need some money too," Yakumo 
mumbled.

	"We can talk about me loaning you some later, 
Yakumo-san," Akira said.

	"Thanks, sempai."

	They went back to work, mired in thought.

****************

	"Why are you in this anyway?" Sara asked Yakumo 
over the phone.

	"I can't let her have my boyfriend," Yakumo said.  
"And he's in the contest."

	"That's not very boyfriendy of him," Sara said, 
frowning.

	"Well, he...you know," Yakumo said, sighing.

	"Can't make up his mind, yes.  I'm glad I have a 
boyfriend who knows what he wants.  I'll ask the others, 
but I'm sure they'll help too," Sara said.  

	"Thank you," Yakumo said.  

	"Anything for my best friend," Sara said.  They 
discussed plans a while, then hung up.  Sara went and 
found Asou, Suga, and Satsuki, who were playing poker 
with Eri, Imadori, and Harry.  

	"Where's Karen?" Sara asked Harry.

	"Working out with Lala.  Do you want to join us?"

	"Sure," Sara said.  She'd ask the others later, in 
private.

***************
	
	"Sure, I'd be glad to help out," Umino said to Eri.  
"You really have it hard for this guy, eh?"

	"No, I just want to be free of this stupid engagement!" 
Eri protested.  

	"Uh huh.  I'm sure Nyamo-san will help too," he said.  
"But I fear Yukari-san will defect to Imadori-san."

	"As if she's a threat," Eri said.  "From what I saw of 
that woman, she couldn't organize a party for anyone above 
the age of six or so."

	"Just don't say that in front of Nyamo-san, or she'll 
slug you," Umino said.

	"She likes that freak?" Eri asked.

	"Don't ask me why, but yes," Umino said.  "Anyway, 
I'll contact your boyfriend, see about helping him."

	"Thanks," Eri said, smiling  "You're a dear."

	"You can repay me by getting my girlfriend some nice 
dresses.  I'm no good at picking out that kind of thing," 
Umino said.  He shook his head ruefully.

	"Sure, I can take her shopping," Eri said.  "Any idea 
what size she wears?"

	"Not even a tiny clue," he said.

	Of course not, she thought.  What do men learn from 
their fathers, anyway?  Not that Harima really had much of 
one.

	She suddenly felt guilty about that.  But what could 
she do?  

	Better to focus on what she could do things about, like 
getting her freedom back.  

********************

	"She's outside, skiing with Karasuma," Mikoto said to 
Harima.

	He nodded.  "Thanks," and went outside to find her.  
He couldn't see her on the slope, but maybe she was further 
down.

	He began pouring on the speed; he didn't see Tenma 
after a bit, but he did see Masahiro and Miki and their 
college gang.  He dodged to one side and shouted to 
Masahiro as he pulled up along them, "You know much 
about organizing parties?"

	"Some," he said.

	"I'm going to need your help organizing one for New 
Years," Harima said.  "If you're free."

	"Sure," Masahiro said.

	Miki looked suspiciously at Harima, who was making 
moves on her boyfriend, AGAIN.  "But honey..." she 
began.

	"Thanks!" Harima said, racing on ahead before Miki 
could finish.

	Kasumi said, "Too late, Miki."

	Miki pouted as Harima raced off down the slope.  
Where was Tenma?  He couldn't see her anywhere?  She 
wasn't trapped somewhere, with a broken ankle, crying for 
help and no one could hear her?  Had that cad Karasuma 
abandoned her?

	He reached the bottom; no sign of her at all.  Frowning 
at that, he went back to the top and tried again, catching up 
to the college brigade just as they almost reached the 
bottom.

	"Damn, you're fast," Keiichi said.

	"What time are we meeting?" Masahiro asked.

	"How about in an hour or so?"  Harima zipped around 
to pass them on the side he was on.

	"Alright," Masahiro said.  "See you then."

	"But..." Miki began, and then Harima zoomed on past.

	"What's the hurry?" Jenny shouted after him.  "You 
wanna race?"  She wanted a real test of her skills.

	"Trying to find Tenma!" Harima said, looking back.

	"She's on the easy slope with her boyfriend!" Jenny 
shouted.

	WHAM, Harima crashed into a tree and took himself 
out of action.

	Jenny pulled to a halt by him; the others soon did so.  
"I'll take this fool back up," she said.  

	Ought to leave him in the snow for trying to steal my 
boyfriend, Miki thought.  

	"I can help," Keiichi said.

	Jenny threw him over one shoulder.  "Get his skiis and 
poles, honey," she said.

	He did so, and they took Harima back up.

*****************	

	"I'd be glad to help you," Tenma said to Yakumo.  
"Together, WE WILL FREE HER!  ONEE-CHAN 
POWA!!!!!!"

	Yakumo smiled shyly.  Nothing could defeat onee-
chan powa.  They couldn't lose!

*************
	
	"BASTARD!" Harima shouted, though still knocked 
out; he punched the air.  "I've got you fuckers now!"

	Jenny frowned, glancing at him.  She was watching 
him to make sure he didn't choke on his own spittle or 
something.  "No idea who the 'Steel Hands' are?" she asked 
her brother on the phone.

	"I don't track the gangs I clobber," Harry said.  "Why 
are you even asking?"

	"Harima's having flashbacks to some fight with them.  
Just trying to see if he's likely to...damn, I don't know, I'm 
just curious," she said.

	Harry laughed.  "That's my sister.  I'll see if Lala-san 
or Karen-chan knows.  But honestly, no clue."  He 
frowned.  "Is he going to be alright?  If he dies before I get 
to kick his ass, I'm gonna be pissed."

	"KISS MY ASS!" Harima bellowed, kicking the air.

	Jenny laughed loudly.  "I think he'll be fine."

	Osaka wandered in.  "Have you seen Tenma-chan 
anywhere?  I've come to...thing."
	
	"Thing?" Jenny said.

	"What?" Harry said.

	"Nothing.  See you, brother.  Bye."  She hung up and 
turned to Osaka.  "Why are you here?"

	"I...Tenma...I don't remember," Osaka said.

	Harima nearly punched her lights out.  "THIS IS FOR 
WHAT YOU DID AT TANAKA BRIDGE, BASTARD!"

	"I only dropped a can without looking for a garbage 
bin!" Osaka yelled, jumping back.  "Don't hurt me!"

	"Tsukamoto headed over to the Sawachika place with 
Yakumo to go plot evil with Sara or something."

	"YOUR ASS IS MINE!" Harima howled, eyes still 
shut, grabbing and shaking something invisible.

	"But...I need my ass," Osaka mumbled, backing away.

	Jenny led her away from Harima.  "He's high on head 
pain.  Your friend's over at the Sawachika place."

	"Oh.  He's having a flashback?"

	"I think so," Jenny said, then looked around.  Where 
has my boyfriend wandered to?  He was supposed to be 
getting some beer!

	"I know how that feels," Osaka said.  "Okay, thanks!"  
She ambled off.

	Jenny shook her head.  Something wrong with that 
kid.

**************

	Spades did not work quite as well with three people, 
but Nara, Mikoto, and Hanai had not been able to find a 
fourth.  

	As Mikoto was about to deal, though, Karasuma 
appeared, saying, "May I?"

	"Sure," Mikoto said.  "You can be Nara's partner; we 
can start over."

	"I think he prefers women," Karasuma said.

	"..."  Mikoto felt her brain melt.

	Hanai laughed, putting a hand over his mouth.

	Nara smiled a little.  "Partner for cards, Karasuma."

	He seems so mellow about it, Mikoto thought.  Or 
maybe he's just being polite.  Or...no, bad brain.  She'd had, 
just for a second, a picture of Nara in a dress in her mind in 
Hanai's arms.  I'm being as silly as Miki gets, she thought.  
Akira was the one out to steal my...no, she's not out to steal 
him, she tried hard to make him come to me.  She just 
wants sex with him and thinks he is hot and...

	"Mikoto-kun, are you okay?" Hanai asked, waving a 
hand in front of her face.

	Mikoto breathed out.  She was a little curious if Nara 
was really as good as Akira said, but not enough for 
anything like that, and really, it was a waste to think about 
it.

	"I'm fine," she said.

	"Very fine," Karasuma said.

	Is Karasuma-san hitting on me, Mikoto wondered.  Or 
am I just being totally vain?

	Hanai took the cards and shuffled.  "Are you alright?"

	"I'm fine, and not imaging anyone naked," Mikoto 
said.  "At all."

	"I can draw us all naked, if you need me to," 
Karasuma said helpfully.

	Nara blinked at Mikoto, then at Karasuma.  "Akira-san 
would probably like that."  He paused.  "I mean..."

	"Oh, I wish I had known, I could have given her such 
a drawing for Christmas," Karasuma said matter of factly.

	Hanai's eyes widened.

	"But...I..you...I mean, wouldn't we have to pose?"

	"Unless you have hidden tattoos or blemishes 
normally hidden by clothing, I can easily extrapolate any of 
you naked from your clothed appearance and my 
knowledge of how clothing hangs," Karasuma said.  He 
looked over at Hanai's frozen hands.  "Would you like me 
to shuffle?"

	Hanai did not resist, eyes crossed.  "You 
don't...normally, right?"

	"I've never drawn any of you naked," Karasuma said.

	Mikoto relaxed.  

	Karasuma began dealing.  "Though I suppose Tenma 
might like a nice nude for Valentine's day."

	I liked him better when he never spoke, Hanai 
thought.

	"Nude?" Mikoto said.  Tenma isn't...no...  She shook 
her head.  I'm in no place to talk.  I've seen Miki and 
Masahiro naked and...and...  She started feeling warm; this 
was not the place for it.

	Karasuma studied his hand; everyone else started and 
picked up theirs.  Mikoto was pretty pleased with hers; she 
had five spades, no hearts at all, and two kings (Clubs and 
Diamonds).  Her ton of low Diamonds might mess things 
up, though.  

	After a few hands, she could tell she and Hanai were 
up against some intense competition.  Nara was only 
average, but Karasuma seemed to be a brilliant player, 
always knowing what everyone had and always bidding 
exactly the right amount for the tricks he took.

	She had to play as well as possible, but she wasn't so 
good at this, though Hanai covered her as best she could.

	By the fifth hand, they were losing, 310 to 187.  Not 
horrible, but it could be hard to make a comeback.  It didn't 
help that she kept wondering if he'd ever drawn any of 
them naked.  Probably Tenma.  Guys were like that.  But 
Karasuma wasn't a normal guy.

	Karasuma's phone rang.  He answered it, "Hello, 
Sagano-san."

	Nara studied his hand, then said, "I bid...three."  

	Hanai smiled confidently, which MOST of the time, 
meant he had a good hand.  Except when he didn't and 
Mikoto screwed them both counting on it too much.  "SIX."

	Her eyes widened.

	"No, I wasn't in your dreams last night, Sagano-san," 
Karasuma said.  "I was busy with Tenma-chan."

	WHAT?, Mikoto thought.  Hanai looked over at 
Karasuma in confusion.  Nara seemed to have passed into a 
magical land of just not being surprised any more.

	Karasuma said to them, "I bid one."

	Ten bid so far.  But Mikoto could see she had the King 
and Queen of Spades, the Ace of Diamonds and the Ace of 
Hearts, plus two more spades.  Surely that was a four bid 
minimum, maybe even a five bid, right?  But with Hanai 
going six...

	Mikoto fretted.

	Karasuma said into the phone, "I am quite sure I can 
tell the difference between you and Tenma.  You were just 
dreaming of me normally."

	Mikoto began imagining things, then made herself 
stop.  If I go four, we can go ten for two hundred...why not.  
"Ten for two hundred," she said.

	Karasuma blinked.  "You bid ten all on your own?"

	"No, I bid four.  Plus six is ten!" Mikoto said.

	"OH," Karasuma said.  "That's reasonable."  To the 
phone, he said, "Trust me, there's no way I could make a 
mistake, Sagano-san.  You'd know."

	How do I get into these things, Mikoto wondered.

	Akira now came out and silently embraced Nara, 
making Mikoto more jumpy.  

	Hanai studied the bids.  "Your lead, Karasuma-kun.  
Your team bid four, we bid ten."

	"We're going to make lots of money," Akira said into 
Nara's ear, a little loudly.

	"Cool," he said, sounding a little guilty.  "Anything I 
can do to help it?"

	"Well, Kenji-kun may need your help," Akira said.  

	"Is this that engagement contest thing?" Hanai asked.

	Karasuma said into the phone, "Yes, exactly, the 
breasts are an unmistakable clue."  He threw out the three 
of diamonds.

	Do I go for the guaranteed win, Mikoto thought.  Or 
do I take a chance, knowing my ace will be good later 
unless someone goes short...  She threw down her Jack of 
Diamonds.  

	Akira glanced over at Karasuma, an eyebrow slightly 
raised, then said to Nara, "That one."  She pointed.

	"No helping," Hanai said a little crankily.

	"I would knock first, of course," Karasuma said into 
his phone.

	Nara played down the Queen of Diamonds, the card 
Akira had picked.

	"Everyone knows what knocking is," Karasuma said 
into the phone.

	Hanai studied his hand thoughtfully, then slapped 
down the Two of Spades.  "Mine," he said.

	Nara frowned.  Hanai took the trick, then laid out the 
Eight of Clubs.

	Karasuma idly threw out the six of Clubs, then said 
into the phone, "I really should go.  I'm playing a game 
with Nara and Akira and Mikoto and Hanai."

	Beat.

	"No, we're good as-is," Karasuma said.  "Goodnight," 
he said, then hung up.

	There was a distant shout from Harima, "YEAH, OH 
YEAH, EVERYONE'S GOING DOWN NOW!"

	Akira frowned.  "I'll go check on him."

	"Need help?" Nara asked.

	"No, you have fun," Akira said, kissing his cheek.  
"Bye, Mikoto-chan, Hanai-san, Karasuma-san."

	Karasuma's phone rang; he eyed it like a hungry 
serpent.

	Mikoto now remembered to play.  "Bye, Akira-chan."  
She threw down the nine of clubs, the best she could do.  
She had a bad feeling Hanai had screwed up with his lead.  

	"Anything bad happen if we end up with a negative 
score?" she asked nervously as Nara took it with a jack.

	"Stripping," Nara said.

	Mikoto's eyes widened.

	"That's a joke," he said hastily.

	But she wasn't sure.

**************
		
	Akira came in; Harima was still punching and kicking 
the air.  "What happened?" she asked Jenny and Keiichi, 
who were watching TV, drinking beer, and keeping an eye 
on Harima as he lay on the coffee table.

	"Skiing accident," Jenny said.  "I'm surprised he's 
freaking out so much."

	"ALL YOU FUCKERS WILL DIE!" Harima 
announced to the world.

	Akira shook her head and walked over to him.  "Oh 
no, Tenma is on fire," she said flatly.

	Harima gave a hideous scream and leaped off the 
table, ready to run.  "Where? Where is she?"  He looked far 
more with it now.

	Akira said, "I lied."

	"Dammit, don't lie like that!" Harima said angrily.

	"You were making a pain of yourself with very loud 
flashbacks," she said, looking him over.  "Does it hurt 
anywhere?"

	"No, I'm fine," he said.  "Flashbacks?"

	"Shouting about killing various gangs," she said.  "I've 
got all the details set up.  Did you call Tenma?"

	"She was skiing, so I tried to find her," Harima said.  

	"Well, try calling her instead of injuring yourself.  I'm 
going to get to work," Akira said.

	"Thank you for helping me," Harima said.  He was 
trying to get better at thanking people.

	"I need the money and you're a friend," Akira said.  
"And I want to get Eri-chan out of hock."

	"Well, I'll give Tenma-san a call, then," Harima said.

	He rang her up and she answered.  "Kenji-kun!  You 
should be helping your girlfriend with the contest!" Tenma 
said.

	"But I got in it first!  She should be helping me!" 
Harima protested.

	"You already HAVE a woman," Tenma said.  

	"So I have to let her get a woman too?" Harima asked 
in confusion.

	"Exactly," Tenma said.

	"..."

	"And a man shouldn't compete with his girlfriend," 
Tenma said.

	"I always heard it the other way around," Harima said 
a little heatedly.

	"They lied to you," Tenma said.  "You really should 
help Yakumo."

	"I can't just abandon Eri-san like that!" Harima 
protested.

	"You could help Yakumo help her!" Tenma replied.  

	"I'm in too deep to back out now," Harima said.

	"Well, with Osaka and I on the case, I'm afraid you're 
going to lose, brother-in-law.  We are INVINCIBLE."  
Tenma sounded quite confident.

	That got Harima's back up.  "Well, we'll just see about 
that.  Person isn't BORN who can beat me."  Harima's 
competitive streak had a life of its own.  A mostly 
victorious one, if you didn't count Karasuma.  

	"We'll crush you!" Tenma proclaimed.

	"Bring it on!" Harima shouted back.

	"WE WILL!"  Click.

	Harima grimaced.  They think they can kick my ass?  
No way in...

	Then it sank in that he'd just had a fight with Tenma.  
And was likely in trouble with his girlfriend.  Just because 
he was trying to help Eri out.  

	A fight with Tenma.

	He'd never really had a real fight with her before.  But 
what could he do?  He couldn't back down.  Not now when 
Eri needed him.

	It would have been easier just staying a delinquent, he 
thought.  But now he was in too deep to run.

	It was like the Yakuza, but without any cool tattoos.  

	Dammit.

**************

	"I would be happy to act as your video supplier," 
Buddha said to Imadori.  "What kind of videos do you 
need?"

	"All possible Doujibirion, any good mecha stuff...hold 
on, I have a list."

	Imadori now carefully read it off to Buddha.

	Buddha cocked his head, listening, and writing.  "I'll 
see what I can find."

	"I need them pronto," Imadori said.  "Also, contact the 
rest of the mob; I'm going to need some muscle and 
workers."

	"I will do so," Buddha said.  "Fuyuki is already there, 
right?"

	"Yes, I'll take care of him and Nara myself."

	"Then I'll call you once I have news."

	"Okay," Imadori said.  "Good luck, and thanks!"

	"You're welcome." Buddha hung up and went to work.

***************
	 
	"I need your boyfriend," Imadori announced to 
Sagano.

	Sagano was about to head out, skiing, with Yuuki, 
Fuyuki, Karen, Harry, and Lala.  "Ooooh, yaoi!" she said.  
"Only if I can watch."

	Imadori froze in place, crumbled to dust, and blew 
away.

	Fuyuki said, "Not like that!"  He paused.  "Right?"

	"Not like that at all!  I need you to take some pictures 
and help me measure stuff for my party."

	"Oooh, party?" Sagano asked.

	"Yeah, we're going to have a New Years' Eve party as 
part of the contest," Imadori said.

	Karen frowned.  "Is it really right to use Sawachika as 
a prize?"

	"Her parents can decide however they like," Imadori 
said.

	"You really want to marry someone who hates you?" 
Harry asked.

	Imadori frowned at Harry.  "She's just playing hard to 
get.  And at least I don't roam around, randomly assaulting 
people."

	"Take that back or I'll kick your ass!" Harry said.

	"At least he's not a breast-grabbing pervert!" Lala said, 
advancing on Imadori.  "You use and discard women like 
kleenex!"

	"You're so pretty when you're angry," he said amiably, 
leaving her flustered.

	"And you're seeing that teacher!" Karen said, starting 
to get angry.

	"We're just friends," Imadori said.

	"Liar!" Karen said, getting more worked up, half 
angry, half about to cry.

	Sagano looked over at her.  Imadori was somewhat of 
a jerk, but if she didn't do something, he would probably 
get his ass kicked, and she thought he'd already been beaten 
enough.  And part of her admired him for standing up to so 
many angry people.

	"You're making my girlfriend cry!" Harry said.

	Fuyuki and Yuuki watched all this warily.

	"I am not.  I haven't said anything bad about Karen," 
Imadori said.  "She's a kind, sweet person, who deserves a 
better boyfriend than you."

	He has less self-preservation than me, Sagano thought.  
But I'm so bundled up in winter clothing, I can't even try to 
harem-ninja my way out of this.  I need winter clothing that 
rips off in a dramatic gesture.  Or to learn a transformation 
sequence.

	I could just kiss Harry.  That would certainly distract 
everyone, Sagano thought.  But my boyfriend would kill 
me.  

	Or I could strip Fuyuki right here...that would drive 
off everyone and avoid violence!  It's perfect, Sagano 
thought.

	"All this emotion...can't control myself any more..." 
Sagano said, drawing on her hours and hours of watching 
original Star Trek.  "Must have boyfriend now..."  She 
turned and pounced on Fuyuki.

	"Hey, people watching and..." Fuyuki began; her lips 
silenced him.

	Yuuki stared.

	Everyone else stared a moment, then scattered in all 
directions, except Imadori and Yuuki.

	Yuuki looked over at Imadori.  "Why aren't you 
running?"

	"I do not fear Sagano's naked body.  Actually, I'm kind 
of curious," he said.

	"But it also means looking at Fuyuki naked.  So you 
like naked men?" Yuuki asked.

	"I...no!" Imadori said.

	"Well, you'll be able to see him butt naked pretty 
quickly if Megumi ever remembers how belts work," Yuuki 
said, strangely calm.

	"But..."  Imadori spluttered, then said, "I...I hear 
Sawachika-sama text messaging me!  Gotta run!"  He ran 
off.

	"So, should I go ski without you two?" Yuuki asked, 
looking tense.

	"You wanna join us?  I can't get this damn belt off," 
Sagano said.

	"Not out here in public," Yuuki said tensely, glancing 
off in the various directions people had run. 

	"We can do this later; let's ski while we can," Fuyuki 
said nervously.

	"Okay," Sagano said.  "My plan worked perfectly!"

	"Except now I'm half-frozen," Fuyuki said, getting up 
with her and buttoning his shirt.

	"And the other half is ALL MAN," Sagano said, re-
dressing herself.  "Okay, let's go ski!"

***************

		
	"What's wrong, onee-chan?" Yakumo asked her sister 
softly as Tenma moped on the bed.  

	"I had a fight with Kenji," Tenma said mournfully.  "I 
hate fighting with people I like.  But he needs to be a good 
boyfriend and support you."

	"Well..." Sara began, trying to figure out how to 
delicately broach the subject.  They were meeting in her 
room.  

	"It's okay, I understand, onee-chan," Yakumo said.  
"I'm just glad I have you and Sara-chan and Osaka-san to 
help me."

	"I suppose eloping is out of the question," Osaka said.

	Yakumo blushed.  "I don't think Sawachika-san would 
do that.  The goal is to win the contest here, not to elope."

	"Well, you would look good in a wedding dress," 
Osaka said.  "So what are the weakpoints of the 
competition?"

	Tenma said, "Imadori is very good at seducing women 
but not very smart or tough.  But he knows everything 
about robot shows. Kenji is very kind but not very smart.  
He's a good fighter, and a good artist.  But now he's mad at 
me!"  Tenma began to wail.

	"So if you make your party something which appeals 
to intellect, you'll play to their weaknesses," Osaka said.  
"Then you can take them DOWN."  She scribbled 
frantically on paper.  "Okay, so they enter the party here, 
and we put a sphinx, who will eat them if they can't answer 
its riddle..."

	"I don't think the party is supposed to be a death trap, 
Osaka-san," Yakumo said to Osaka.

	"Oh."  She crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage 
can.  "So we're not out to capture or kill them?"

	Yakumo's eyes crossed.

	Tenma said, "We're not out to kill them."

	"So we won't need the abbatoir," Osaka said.

	"Swedish rock won't help us," Tenma said.

	"Actually, maybe it would," Sara said.  "Doesn't 
Sawachika-san's family company do business in Sweden?"

	"But how will we possibly get Abba to come to our 
party?" Yakumo asked.

	"Begging can be good," Osaka said.

	"We could pray for a miracle," Sara said.

	"Maybe Eri knows Abba," Tenma said.

	"But Sawachika-san's never been to Sweden, has she?" 
Yakumo asked.

	"It can't hurt to ask, or maybe we could call Mrs. 
Sawachika," Sara said.

	Yakumo nodded.  "Well, we could do a Sweden 
theme; have vikings and fjords and forests and Abba."  She 
paused.  "Though those might take a lot of work."

	"Well, we can draw backdrops and things," Tenma 
said, perking up.  "You're good enough to draw pro manga, 
after all, sister."

	I'm just the assistant, she thought.  But she couldn't let 
her sister down.  "I will do my best."

	"Alright, let's see if we can get Abba and we can plan 
how to decorate everything," Tenma said.  "LET THE 
OPERATION...BEGIN!"

***************

	"You've got to be kidding me," Eri said to Asou.

	"I kid you not," Asou said.  "Do you think your 
mother will do it?  And do we want it to happen?"

	"If they get Abba, we'll need a counterweight for 
Kenji's party," Eri said.  "And Mother might think it funny 
enough to throw her weight around.  However, if Kenji 
thinks of it," she said, looking meaningfully at Asou, "then 
he could get Karen's band.  They're not as famous as Abba, 
but they aren't old and worn out, either."

	"If...ahh..." Asou said.  "I warn you, I am not good at 
subtle."

	"You are still better than Kenji," Eri said.  "So your 
girlfriend is helping Yakumo-san?"

	"Yes," Asou said, sighing.  "She couldn't say no to her 
best friend."

	Eri nodded.  "I understand.  I will try and see if 
Imadori has any good ideas or if he will self-destruct 
without me."

	"I'm sure he'll self destruct even WITH good ideas," 
Asou said.  "Sounds good."

	"Then let's do it.

****************

	Imadori wandered around with a camera, taking 
photos as needed and feeling aggravated because he'd 
failed to get Fuyuki.  At least Nakamura had been kind 
enough to help.

	As they measured a doorway, he said, "Thanks, 
Nakamura-san, for helping me."

	"Mistress Sawachika is fond of you," Nakamura said.  
"And it is my job to help.  Good luck with your party."

	"It'll be great," Imadori said.  He tapped the floor.  
"We're right over the foundation, no basement, right?"

	"Right," Nakamura said.

	"Good, less chance of breaking."  

	Eri now sauntered up.  "Planning to redecorate?" she 
asked.

	"For the party," Imadori said.  "You're invited of 
course."  He smiled at her, making her wonder again what 
he really thought of her.

	"Picked a theme?" she asked.

	"Sausage," Imadori said.

	"Sausage?" Eri asked in confusion.

	"Yes.  The whole place will resemble a giant meat 
packing plant when I'm done," Imadori said.

	Eri's eyes crossed.

	"And smell of it.  Ahh, sweet fragrance of sausage," 
Imadori said.

	Eri started to look slightly green.

	"Organ meats.  Nothing really says 'Spring is coming', 
like the smell of pig kidneys," Imadori said gleefully.  

	"You'll stink up the house for weeks!"

	"Yes, but school will make us go back in a few days 
after the party, and it smells GOOD.  Don't you want to 
smell good enough to eat, Eri-chan?" Imadori asked.

	"NO," Eri said.

	"Hmm, I should see about getting some English 
sausages; your mother will like that."

	"Mother does like Cumberland sausage with an egg 
and muffins for breakfast, but...you can't just make this 
whole place all sausage-y!" Eri protested frantically.

	"Well, I could throw in bacon for some variety.  And 
eggs.  I like eggs," Imadori said.

	Nakamura said hesitantly, "Variety is good."

	Well, look on the bright side, Eri thought.  That's the 
stupidest party theme ever.  What could be worse?

*************

	"I'm thinking gang violence may not sell our 
audience," Masahiro said to Harima.

	"We're not trying to sell the guests into slavery, are 
we?" Harima asked.

	"..."  Masahiro sat mindlessly on the bed, staring at 
Harima as he paced.

	"How about a Street Fighter theme?  Everyone loves 
Street Fighter," Harima said.  "I'd make a good M. Bison, I 
think."  He struck a pose.

	"We need something with dignity and grace," 
Masahiro said.  "If we're to impress wealthy folk like the 
Sawachikas.  Also, you have a lot of high class food and 
things given as gifts so, I think a high-class theme is 
better."

	Harima frowned.  "How about if we cross Street 
Fighter with Gangster movies?  Gangster movies have lots 
of people in Tuxedos."

	Masahiro tapped his cheek.  "You know, a Gangster 
theme might well work.  Play some jazz, everyone in fancy 
evening wear and pin-stripe suits...I like it."

	"Cool," Harima said.  "Mobsters are bad-ass.  I could 
be Capone and you could be Lucky Luciano."

	"I should be Clyde, since I have a Bonnie," Masahiro 
said.  "Miki would love that, I think," he said.

	"We'll need fake g...Akira!  She's already got an 
interest in this," Harima said.  "Her guns are awesome.  
And we can get Hanai to be J. Edgar Hoover, since he's got 
a no-fun stick up his butt like Hoover did."

	"Or Elliot Ness," Masahiro said.  "Or the guy...anti-
mobster mayor..."

	"Dewey," Harima said.  "Can we afford a duck 
costume?"

	"I don't know," Masahiro said.  "We should 
probably..."

	"Hey guys, you planning your party?" Asou asked.  
Neither of them had seen him come into Harima's bedroom  
where Harima was meeting with Masahiro.

	"Yeah, but we can't let any spies for Sara in," Harima 
said.

	"I'm not spying for my girlfriend!" Asou protested.  
Technically true, he thought.

	"You can't fool me," Harima said, crossing his arms.  
"Tell Yakumo-san I'm sorry, but I can't give this up."

	"I'll do that," Asou said.  "I suppose you don't want to 
know about Imadori's secret plan, then."

	Yes, he did.  But he couldn't admit it.  "Naah, I'll beat 
him without it," Harima said.  "I doubt you'd know it 
anyway."

	Asou started to get mad, then reined himself in.  "Fine, 
if you want to be the only party with no live band..."

	"A band!  We need jazz musicians," Harima said.  "Is 
Louis Armstrong alive?"

	"Dead for decades," Masahiro said.  "But maybe your 
class's band can help us. They were really good."

	"Hmm, that could work."  He imagined the band in 
period clothing and began to sketch out what he saw.  "I 
wonder if any of them can play the trumpet."

	"Not a clue," Masahiro said.  "Hmm, We'd better find 
Akira."

	Asou stood quietly, listening.  I can learn a lot for 
Sawachika-san this way, he thought.

	"Also, we need to get rid of the spy," Harima said.

	"I'm not a spy!" Asou said.

	Harima rose and Asou ran, for his own safety.

	"Maybe we should call your sugar-mama too," 
Masahiro said.

	"She's not my sugar-mama!  She's not even...I mean, 
she's basically WAY TOO YOUNG," Harima said.

	Masahiro laughed.  Harima was so easy to tease, just 
like Miki.  "Okay, okay.  She might have some good ideas 
and I think she does like you and will want to help."

	I need more friends my own age and sex, Harima 
thought.  But he'd always been better at hitting guys than 
befriending them.  "Well, if we're going to turn Hanai into 
the Fuzz, we'd better get him too.  And Mikoto."  A thought 
hit him.  "The Lindbergh baby!  Who got kidnapped.  That 
could be Mihama-san."

	"..."

	"Perfect," Harima said.  "Okay, let's round everyone 
up."

*************
	
	"Mission semi-accomplished," Asou said to Eri.

	"Good, now..."

	"I can't spy on Sara for you," Asou said.

	"Hrmph," Eri replied.

	"I'll happily spy on Imadori or Harima, but not my 
girlfriend," he said.

	"Sausage," Eri replied, tapping her fingers on the arm 
of the nice plush chair she sat in.

	Asou leaned against the nearby chest of drawers.  
"Sausage?"

	"Imadori's chosen theme is...sausage.  I should be 
happy he can't possibly win, but since he goes first, he's 
going to stink this place up and make it unlivable before 
Kenji's party."  She grimaced.

	"Can't you use your wealth to maybe pre-emptively 
buy up the available sausage?" Asou asked.

	"I'd have to buy all of it in the world or he might ask 
Mother to rush-ship him some," Eri said.  "Also, my 
allowance is not godlike.  I am not Richie Rich."

	Asou turned and looked at himself in the nearby wall 
mirror, thinking.  "I'm sure he'll call in the rest of Buddha's 
hentai club.  Maybe you could bribe one of them to be the 
inside man."

	Eri's eyes lit up.  "Yes, very clever.  I like how you 
think."

	Asou smiled at himself in the mirror.  "Thank you.  
Yoshidayama has rather a thing for you, I think.  He's 
probably the ideal pawn."

	"He does?" Eri asked.

	"What, you haven't noticed?" Asou said, turning.  

	"He's never said anything," Eri said, now sounding 
slightly fretful.

	"So, with just a little sugar, I expect he can be baited," 
Asou said.

	Asou has a down right evil streak once he starts 
plotting, Eri thought.  I'm glad he's on my side.  "Yes, I 
think we can use him," she said, supressing the small 
amount of guilt she felt at using someone who had a crush 
on her.  "It will be payback for the time I ended up in the 
river."  Oh yes, it would.

	Never get Sawachika angry at me if I can help it, Asou 
thought.  She can be evil.  

*************
	
	Lala looked over at Harry; they were both at the top of 
the slope, about to ski down.  Karen and the others were off 
practicing with their band.  She turned back to the slope, 
focusing herself.

	"Hmm?" he asked, curious.

	"Nothing," she said.

	"Planning to steal Karen-chan from me?" Harry 
teased.

	"No, not like that!" Lala said in a panic.  "Just 
wishing..."

	Karen came tromping out.  "Aren't you going to come 
practice with us, Lala-san?"

	Lala looked embarrassed.  "Do you want me to?"

	"Sure, you sing very beautifully," Karen said.

	"Okay," Lala said softly.  "Sorry, MacKenzie-san."

	"That's fine," he said.  "I'm sure I won't have any 
horrible accidents on the difficult slope by myself and lie 
mangled and alone for hours."

	Karen turned pale, and Lala stared.

	He laughed.  "Just joking.  I'll be fine."  Though now 
he did feel just a little jealous.

	"Well, you..." Karen began hesitantly.

	"I'll be fine," he said, walking over and kissing her 
quickly.  "Go have fun."  He was only a little jealous.  

	She smiled brighter.  "Okay!  I'll come join you when 
we're done."

	"Good, we can have a race, winner gets to be on top," 
he said.

	Karen turned red, while Lala looked back and forth in 
confusion with the vague feeling it was probably a dirty 
joke.  "Don't say freaky things," she snapped on general 
principle.

	"I'd rather do them," he said grinning, waved, and 
headed off to go ski.

	After his first run down the mountain, Imadori came 
stomping out into the snow.  "You had lunch?" he asked.  
He was holding a long wrapped roughly cylindrical thing.

	"No," Harry said.  "I am kind of hungry."

	"Here, you can have this.  Just let me know if it's good 
or not."  Imadori handed it to him.

	"You experimenting with food?" Harry asked, 
unwrapping it; it smelled wonderful--a sausage sandwich 
with cheese, onions, and sauerkraut.  "This looks great."

	"Cool." Imadori turned to go inside.  "Just let me 
know how it tastes, okay?"

	"Fine with me."  Harry had the vague feeling he was 
being used.  But if that got him a nice sandwich, it would 
be worth it right now.

***********

	Miki posed back to back with Masahiro, pretending to 
hold a gun.  "Yeah!" she said.  "This will be great."

	Masahiro was relieved she wasn't worrying about 
Harima trying to seduce him again.  

	"Hmm, so I will be law enforcement with Mikoto?" 
Hanai asked.

	"Someone has to be J. Edgar Hoover," Harima said.

	"Who am I, then?" Mikoto asked.

	"Miss Marple!", Nara said.  

	"Like in the anime?" Mikoto asked.  "She's an old 
woman!"

	"Yeah, but she fights crime," Nara said.

	"We can do better," Akira said.  "You could be Alaska 
P. Davidson, the first female special agent of the FBI."

	"Alaska?  Isn't that a country?" Mikoto asked.

	"It's part of the USA," Akira said.  "A state."
	
	"Hmm.  Did she do anything cool?"

	"She had a big gunfight with Dillinger," Akira made 
up, not knowing anything about the woman besides her 
name.  "And wiped out the Cock-Eyed Gang."  It wasn't 
like anyone would ever figure out she was making things 
up.   

	"Sounds cool," Mikoto said.  "Shouldn't we get 
Tenma-chan in on this?"

	"She's helping Yakumo," Akira said.  "But Yakumo 
has Sara's harem working for her."

	"Harem?" Mikoto asked nervously.

	"I don't think they're her personal harem," Nara said.  
"It might be better if..."

	Harima shook his head.  "Yakumo-san won't back 
down and neither will I.  We have to see this through to the 
end."

	"Does this mean you broke up?" Nara asked.

	"No," Harima said hastily.

	Akira shook her head.  "Though you can't waffle 
forever, Kenji-san."

	Harima frowned.  "I'm not waffling!  I'm trying to help 
Eri-san!"

	"I know," Akira said.  "I will help you help her.  But 
you cannot let yourself remain divided."  Softly, into his 
ear, she whispered, "Trust me, I know."  Then she glided 
away from him.

	I'm not divided, he thought.  I just can't make up my 
mind.  All his certainty was gone, knowing he could never 
have Tenma.  The worst of that was over, but now...he just 
didn't understand his feelings.  It would be so much easier 
if he could just obsess on one of them like he did with 
Tenma.

	It's not that easy, Onna-Harima whispered to him.  
Now that you're finally growing up, you may never know 
that certainty again. 

	He sighed.  Then an idea hit him.  "That's it!"

	"What?" Akira asked.

	"Mihama-san can be Baby-Face Nelson!" Harima 
said.

	There was silence, then guilty laughter.

	"Well, when she arrives, you can ask her," Akira said.  
"I can't think of anything better."

	"Okay," Harima said.  "Now, let's get back to 
planning."

**************
	
	Tenma hung up her phone.  "Sweet, ABBA will be 
arriving the day before New Year's Eve so they can get 
some skiing in before they perform for us, and so they can 
practice."

	"Wow, I thought they'd retired," Satsuki said.  

	"Offer enough money, and anyone un-retires," Suga 
said.

	"I'm kind of surprised I talked her into it," Tenma said.  
"But I just tried to think of how Daddy would have argued 
it."

	"Your father's a good debater?" Sara asked.

	"He could talk the King of Saudi Arabia into buying 
sand, oil, and camels from him," Tenma said.

	Karasuma walked in.  "Planning a party?" he asked.

	"Yes, can you help us?" Tenma begged.

	"Yes."

	Tenma danced for joy.  

	"We need to do a lot of backdrops and things to make 
this place look like Sweden," Sara said.

	"The snow is a good start," Karasuma said.

	Sara laughed.

	"Okay.  Asou and Suga can help me build the sauna," 
Karasuma said.

	"Sauna?" Yakumo asked in confusion.

	"Yes.  They like saunas.  It gets the cold out," 
Karasuma said.

	"We'll need supplies," Suga said.

	"Then let's go get some."

************

	Yoshidayama sat on the train.  Finally, a reason to get 
out of his folks' house and enjoy himself.  At Sawachika's 
country getaway no less!  This would rule!  And they'd get 
to crush Harima too.

	His phone rang.  "Yo, the great one is here," he said.

	Eri was on the other end of the line.  "Oh, I'm so glad 
it's you.  You have to help me," she said pleadingly.

	"What's the problem, babe?" he said, trying to play it 
cool while his heart beat 3000 times a minute.

	"Imadori is trying to make me his slave by winning 
this contest, and I need someone to warn me of his evil 
plans before he wins the contest and forces me to marry 
him," Eri said, sounding forlorn and alone in the world.

	Yoshidayama gulped.  "That sounds horrible.  But if 
they catch me spying, I'll be killed."  Male unity was 
important to Yoshidayama.  But not as important as scoring 
points with Eri.

	"Oh, I can protect you.  I don't have that horde of 
bodyguards for nothing.  And if you do fall, I can ask my 
dear friend Akira-chan to wreck a horrible vengeance on 
those who hurt you," Eri said firmly.

	For a moment, Yoshidayama thought he heard 
whispering on the other end of the line.  "And if you do a 
good job, I'll give you copies of my Christmas photos of 
me in my nice, expensive, low-cut dress."

	Bits of brain began to overload.  
"Christmas...photos...dress...," Yoshidayama mumbled, 
then looked around him.  Most of the group was asleep or 
lost in electronic games. 

	He whispered into the phone, "I'm your man.  We're 
on our way to help out Imadori, but I don't know the plan 
yet, beyond us bringing a bunch of videos with us.  I'll 
report in once I know."

	Eri's voice was sugary sweet.  "You're so nice, 
Yoshidayama-san.  I knew I could trust you."

	He blushed.  "Okay," he said.  "I'll let you know!"

	"I know you will.  Bye, handsome!" Click.  

	His heart pounded.  Handsome.  She thinks I'm 
handsome.  He imagined her in the dress, and now he 
nosebled and passed out.

	Buddha cocked his head, turned and looked at 
Yoshidayama, shook his head, then returned to playing his 
hand-held game of Yahtzee.

************

	Eri walked down the hallway, about to go out and ski, 
only to see Harry walking along, eating...a sausage 
sandwich.  She stomped up to him.  "Did Imadori give you 
that?"
	
	"Yeah," Harry said.  "So what?"

	"He is trying to taunt me," Eri said, frowning.  "You 
shouldn't let yourself become part of his sausage plan."

	"Sausage plan," Harry said flatly.

	"He's going to turn this whole place into a giant meat 
packing plant," Eri said.

	"Uh huh," Harry said, wondering what she'd been 
smoking. And if he wanted some.

	"We will all smell of sausage, even your cute 
girlfriend," Eri said firmly.

	"I can dig it," Harry said, teasing.

	"Men are insane," Eri said, storming off.

	Not as crazy as women, he thought.

************

	Akira passed Yakumo a check.  "Here you go.  This 
should help pay for..."  She stared off across the grounds at 
where Suga, Karasuma, and Asou were hard at work.  
"What is that?"

	"A sauna," Yakumo said.

	"Hmm, how much will you be charging to use it?" 
Akira asked.

	"We'll have to see if it works well," Yakumo said, 
having no idea.

	"As I'd like to buy some time in it, if it works," Akira 
said.  She paused.  "You will have attendents?"

	We will now, Yakumo thought.  "Of course."

	"Good, good, it's more fun that way.  So you're doing 
a sauna theme?"

	"Sweden," Yakumo said.  

	"Sweden? Oh, Sweden theme," Akira said.

	"MY THUMB!" Suga howled in the background, 
dancing around.

	Akira said, "Don't forget you'll need pipes for the 
water.  Anyway, good luck."

	Yakumo nodded.  "Thank you for the loan, Sempai."

	"You're welcome," Akira said.  "You're a good Kohai, 
so I'm glad to help you out."

	Yakumo smiled at Akira, who gave back about as 
much of a smile as she ever managed outside a bed.

	And then Akira took off, and Yakumo went inside to 
help with the art.

	Tenma was almost done with a backdrop; it looked 
pretty good to Yakumo, with its trees and mountains 
and...wait...  Yakumo bent over and studied the picture.  
"The Vikings were pigs?"

	"They were in the video we rented," Tenma said, 
pointing.  

	'Muppet Show', Yakumo read.  Oh dear.  "Where is 
Osaka?"

	"She's...umm..." Tenma looked around.  "Osaka-chan, 
where are you?"

	"I've fallen and I can't get up!" they heard Osaka say 
from behind the big backdrop.

	Moving it, they could see Osaka was pinned under a 
mocked up longboat; Tenma and Yakumo began shoving as 
hard as they could, but it wouldn't move enough.

	"We need someone stronger," Tenma said.  "I'd say to 
call Kenji, but..."
	
	Yakumo said, "I'll go get the guys."  Pause.  "Where is 
Sara?  And Satsuki?"

	"Digging a fjord," Tenma said.

	"..."

	"What?"

	Yakumo said, "Where?"

	Tenma waved an arm vaguely.  "Outside."

	Yakumo nodded and headed outside, sending Suga 
and Asou in to save Osaka and searching for Sara and 
Satsuki, who she found busy digging in the snow and using 
water to freeze the sides of their trench to make an ice 
trench.  "What's this for?"

	"Decoration and we can put the longboat in it," Sara 
said.

	"But won't the fjord freeze once you put the water in?"

	"Salt water doesn't freeze so easily," Sara said.  
"Everyone will get to ride to the house from the parking lot 
in the longboat, if they want."

	"Oh," Yakumo said.

	Satsuki grinned.  "I'm going to be a valkyrie.  This 
will rule."

	"Dress warmly; it will be cold," Yakumo said.

	"I know," Satsuki said.  "But this should be neat.  I 
hope."

	It did seem like it could be cool.  "Okay," Yakumo 
said.

	She watched them work a little.  I am so lucky to have 
so many good friends to help me, she thought.  "Do you 
need my help?"

	"You should help your sister with the art," Satsuki 
said.  "Sara and I came out to do this because we're not so 
good at it as you."

	Yakumo nodded.  "I'll do that.  Thank you, both of 
you."

	Sara smiled.  "Anything for you, Yakumo."

	We'll leave them in the heartwarming glow of 
friendship among the chill winter cold and turn the page 
to...

************

	Chiyo-chan adjusted her hat, then brandished her 
tommy gun.  "I'd advisez youse to keep diahlin'," she said.

	Mikoto laughed.  "Perfect.  Don't you think so, 
Harima-san?"

	He grinned.  "Perfect."

	"Do we all need to get press-on tattoos?" Chiyo asked.

	"I don't think American gangsters are usually 
tattooed," Harima said.  

	"You couldn't tell in these suits, anyway," Masahiro 
said.  "Well, now we have to figure out decorations."

	"With my artistic skills," Harima said, only bragging a 
little, really, "THAT will be easy.  Here's what we're going 
to do..."

***************
	
	At the train station, Imadori took Yoshidayama aside.  
"I have a special mission for you," he said.  "No one else 
here has the cunning to pull it off."

	Yoshidayama nodded.  Of course not.  His group were 
great guys, but they were too straightforward.  Only his 
clever mind could handle REALLY SNEAKY plans.  
"What do you need, boss?"

	"You need to go pretend to join Harima's group and 
steal their secrets for me," Imadori said.

	"I can do that."  I get to stick it to Harima, 
Yoshidayama thought.  And make Sawachika-san happy.  
AWESOME.  "So what's our plan?"

	"Sausage and meat-packing," Imadori said.  "If you 
can make off with Hanai's secret sausage recipe, I'd 
appreciate it, but he is kind of out of your league."

	"HAH," Yoshidayama said.  "I can handle it.  He may 
LOOK smart, but I've got street smarts and broom hair for 
sweeping my enemies under the table."

	Imadori stood in silence a few seconds, then said, 
"Then I entrust it to you.  Crush our enemies and drive 
them before you!  Just don't let them know you're a spy, 
though, or they'll fold, spindle and mutilate you.  And it's 
wisest you don't hit on the hot college chicks, even if they 
DO dig your hairstyle these days in colleges."

	"Really?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Yeah, it's all the rage.  Lucky for you, the guys over 
there, their hair just can't handle the style like yours can," 
Imadori said.  "Too short and too weak, whereas, your hair 
has got it going on."

	Sweet, Yoshidayama thought.  "Are they hot?"

	Imadori fanned pictures of Miki, Jenny, and Kasumi.

	"HOT," Yoshidayama said.  Who knows, maybe I'll 
have my own harem by the time I'm done.

	"Just don't let Akira catch you hitting on them," 
Imadori said.  "Or doing your other spying.  She's tricky."

	"Yeah, I know.  Anything else, boss?"

	"That's enough trouble for anyone for one day," 
Imadori said.  "Good luck."

	Yoshidayama gave him a thumbs up.  "I can't lose."

	This was going to be great.

*****************

	Yuuki was playing piano instead of her keyboard, 
since the lodge had one.  Everyone else had their usual 
outfits. It felt a little weird with Lala and Karen singing in 
cocktail dresses, lounging on the piano.  It was the moving 
in synchronicity part which made her head swim; it was 
kind of surreal and sexy at the same time.

	And she could tell Fuyuki kept staring at them, while 
trying to not stare.  Men just can't control themselves, she 
thought.  Though she couldn't help staring herself, some.  

	Fortunately, Sagano seemed amused instead of angry.  
As they reached the end of a song, she said, "I'm going to 
try playing a wind instrument; we really need some horns 
or something."

	Fuyuki said, "You can play a trombone?"

	"I'm a little rusty, but it comes back quick," Sagano 
said.

	"Can you control rats like Hanai?" Karasuma asked.

	"..."  Sagano stared at him.

	"He can control rats?" Yuuki asked.

	"With music," Karasuma said.

	"Oooh, we could dress up rats as gangsters..." Sagano 
began.

	"Where are we going to find rats?" Fuyuki asked.

	"Or rat-sized gangster outfits?" Yuuki asked.

	Sagano pouted.

	"I can play the flute," Lala said.

	"But you sing so beautifully," Sagano said.

	Lala looked slightly embarrassed.  "I am just saying it, 
that is all."

	Sagano dug around in the instrument boxes.  "Here we 
go."  She was now holding a nice trombone.

	"Let's go!" she said, and started playing.

	Their fears were relieved when she did, in fact, sound 
pretty good.  

	Things were really getting underway when the cat ran 
in and jumped on Sagano's head; she went down like a 
chump, howling.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

	Yuuki came over and tried to pull the cat off her, but 
only got herself tangled up.  Finally, Fuyuki managed to 
peel them all away and toss the cat out of the room; he 
locked the door as the cat scratched at it.

	"Geez, what's with that cat?" Sagano asked.

	"He's obviously not a jazz fan," Fuyuki said.  "You 
okay, honey?"

	"I'm fine," Sagano said.  

	They could hear the cat headbutting the door.  

	"I'll call Nakamura," Sagano said.  "He'll take care of 
it."

***************
	
	This is what happens when you rent a haunted lodge, 
Nakamura thought.  He carefully tucked the cat away in the 
laundry room and closed the door, then went to check on 
Imadori.  "How's it going, sir?"

	Buddha, Imadori, and some of their friends, were busy 
scribbling all over a map of the place.  "Very well," 
Imadori said.  "Did you place the order for the giant 
sausage prop?"

	"Yes, sir," he said.  "I don't see how it relates to your 
theme, though."

	"It's dis-information," Imadori said.  

	"Inform...right.  I will be preparing sausage for dinner 
as you instructed, also."  He looked around at all the giant 
robot toys and videos.  "We only have one TV, sir."

	"That has to be fixed," Imadori said.  "So how's the 
flirtation practice coming?"

	"I've been so busy, I haven't had time to practice."

	"Well, in that case, we'll handle dinner and you can go 
out and practice," Imadori said.

	"Sir, my duty..." Nakamura began.

	"Everyone blames me for everything anyway," 
Imadori said.  "Let me handle it, and you can go and 
practice.  You need to have your kids when you're young 
enough to still have energy to deal with them, after all."

	So true, Nakamura thought.  "With your permission, 
then, sir, I will prepare for a night of conquest."

	Imadori slapped him on the back.  "That's the spirit!  
Let me know how it goes!"

	Once he was gone, Buddha said, "Are we sure he 
won't rat us out to Sawachika-san?"

	"So long as he knows we won't hurt her, we're fine," 
Imadori said.  "He and I have an understanding."

	Buddha checked his watch.  "Let's turn on the 
Yoshidayama cam.  This should be entertaining."

	Imadori grinned.  "Sounds good."

************

	Jenny and Kasumi were about to head down the 
slopes, having gotten tired of waiting for their boyfriends to 
come back from the bathroom.  "Are you sure..." Kasumi 
began.

	"I'm always sure," Jenny said.

	That's the problem, Kasumi thought.

	"Mmm, ladies looking FINE," Yoshidayama said to 
them, standing with his hands on his hips and his legs 
slightly spread.  He was looking pimpin' inside his own 
mind.

	Kasumi and Jenny both jumped, having not noticed 
his approach.  "Uh, hello?" Kasumi asked nervously.

	"Hey, you're the broomhead kid!  Harry mentioned 
you," Jenny said.  "Wow, you really do have broom hair.  I 
thought he was shittin' me."

	Yoshidayama strutted forward, grinning confidently.  
"You can touch it if you want."

	Jenny did so, laughing softly, while Kasumi stared in 
confusion.  "So bristly," Jenny said.

	Yoshidayama had rarely been so proud of his hair in 
his life.  

	Then ominous shadows fell over him, and Keiichi 
said, "Who's this guy bothering you, Jenny?"

	Jenny looked surprised, then smiled.  "This is one of 
their high school classmates...Yoshi something?"

	"Yoshidayama.  Yoshidayama Jirou, Blood type A, 
Birthday is Valentine's day, I'm an Aquarius."  He smiled 
confidentally at the tall, pretty blonde.  Yeah, he thought.  
College chicks dig me.

	"Can you rap?" Jenny asked, smiling broadly.

	"I can rap the socks off a dog," Yoshidayama said.

	"Stop flirting with my girlfriend!" Keiichi said loudly.

	Shinichi stared at him like he'd been possessed.  
Kasumi's eyes widened slightly.

	"Hey, I don't hear the lady complaining, kid," 
Yoshidayama said, lounging insolently.  "Who the hell are 
you?"

	"I'm Matano Keiichi, dammit!" he said angrily.  "I'm 
her boyfriend."

	Jenny looked at Keiichi with a little bit of surprise, 
then smiled very broadly.  
	
	"I don't see a sign or a 'sold' sticker on her," 
Yoshidayama said, hands on his hips.  "I can't help it if the 
chicks dig me."

	Shinichi stared at Yoshidayama, then at Keiichi and 
wondered if he was on the right planet.

	"Why, you..." Keiichi started to lunge forward, but 
Shinichi grabbed him.

	"Let's settle this like civilized men," Shinichi began.

	"But we can't play baseball in this weather," Kasumi 
said.

	Shinichi paused, looked at her, then smiled softly.  "I 
have trained you well," he said, then turned back to them.  
"A skiing match.  Loser has to leave."

	"I'm gonna have to borrow someone's skis and poles," 
Yoshidayama said.  "I didn't come armed."

	"That's fine, I'll loan you mine," Shinichi said.

	Jenny looked extremely amused by all this.

	Kasumi looked around, wondering if everyone but her 
had gone mad.

	Shinichi and Yoshidayama went over to the benches 
by the house to swap gear.  "The other lady your 
girlfriend?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Yeah," Shinichi said, smiling.  "I'm a lucky man."

	"She's pretty hot," Yoshidayama said as he strapped 
the skis on and rose to his feet.  "Thanks, man."

	"No problem.  I like watching a good sporting event," 
Shinichi said.  "This may not be baseball, but competitive 
skiing is nice and fast, very exciting."

	Meanwhile, Keiichi was storming back and forth, 
while Jenny watched, smiling, and Kasumi fretted. Finally, 
Yoshidayama returned with Shinichi.  

	"I will referee," Shinichi said.  "First one to reach the 
bottom wins."

	"I will crush you, kid," Keiichi said.  

	"Yeah, yeah, bring it on, old man," Yoshidayama said.  
"Your hair is WEAK."

	"At least I don't look like a human broom," Keiichi 
said angrily.

	"Okay, ladies and germs, let's go," Shinichi said, then 
shouted, "BANG!"

	Keiichi and Yoshidayama stared at him.  "Was that 
supposed to be the starting gun?" Keiichi asked.

	"Yes."

	"Then let's go," Keiichi said, grimly launching himself 
down the slope.

	Yoshidyama soon passed him, moving at crazed, 
breakneck speed.  He could see victory in his grasp.  Sure, 
he'd never been skiing before, but how hard could it be?

	He jumped off a small slope and got a huge adrenaline 
rush as he seemed to hang in the air forever.

	It was only when he realized he'd jumped far enough 
to collide with a tree that he panicked for the second or so it 
took to hit the tree.  He slammed sideways into the ground, 
rolled, and soon tumbled down the slope into another tree.

	Keiichi passed him, gliding on down the slope.  By the 
time Yoshidayama disentangled himself, Keiichi had a 
strong lead.

	Yoshidayama had to push himself hard to catch up, 
but now found it was very hard to dodge at this speed; trees 
kept pounding on him, while Keiichi lithely, grimly dodged 
every obstacle.

	Finally, he misjudged a swerve and slid too far, 
smacking into yet another tree.  Yoshidayama tumbled 
again, then lay on the ground, trying to catch his breath, 
which seemed to have caught the last train to Clarksville 
without him.

	Keiichi reached the bottom now and waved his pole.  
"I win!"

	Dammit, Yoshidayama thought.  But she digs me; I'll 
get another chance, I'm sure.  "I had to go find Harima-san, 
anyway."

	"Then GO," Keiichi said angrily.

	"Once I remember how to walk, anyway," 
Yoshidayama mumbled.  The snow was so nice and soft.

	Keiichi sighed.  "I'm gonna drag you back up by your 
hair then, and then GO."

	"Only chicks get to touch my hair," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"Well, have fun freezing," Keiichi fumed, stomping 
off.

	Perfect, Yoshidayama thought.  When I'm done with 
her, she'll be ALL MINE.

*************

	Yakumo was trying to draw when the sound of a 
steady thumping drew her away from her work and through 
the house, until she came to the laundry room, finding the 
house's cat trying to escape.

	"What's wrong, kitty?" she asked, picking up and 
petting the cat.

	Slowly, it relaxed in her arms, and she smiled a little.  
"You're a good kitty.  Are you hungry?"

	She tried putting out some milk and food for the cat, 
who ate hungrily, then came and rubbed against her legs.

	Yakumo smiled and petted the cat.  "Good kitty."

	Then it took off like a streak towards the sound of 
jazz, ramming into the door over and over.

	Yakumo followed it curiously, then knocked.  "Can 
the cat and I come in?"

	"No, not the cat!" Sagano yelled.

	"It wants in," Yakumo said through the door.

	"IT WANTS MY FACE!  That cat is an enemy of all 
jazz!," Sagano yelled back.

	The poor thing will hurt itself, Yakumo thought.  She 
picked up the frantic cat, which wasn't easy, then stared 
into its eyes.  "You can't get in.  You should nap," she said 
softly.

	The cat's eyes swam, and it fell asleep.  Hauling it 
away, she carefully set it down on the couch, then crept off 
back to her work.

*************	
	Yoshidayama opened the door, hobbling a bit.  "Yo!" 
he said.

	He found himself confronted by pinstriped gangsters 
with guns; some of them looked sort of familiar, but he 
now realized he'd clearly walked in on the wrong meeting.  
Especially as the guns all swung around to face him.

	"Ahaha, wrong room," he said quickly, and tried to 
close the door, but one of the gangsters barelled up and 
grabbed him.

	"What the hell are YOU doing here?" the guy said.  
Yoshidayama knew this voice.

	"Harima-san!  I've come to help!" he said.

	"You have?" Harima asked suspiciously.

	"Yeah!  A bunch of us came out to hang with 
everyone, so I thought I'd come find the badass team," 
Yoshidayama said.  "You look even more badass than 
usual."

	Harima grunted, then put him down.  "How do I know 
you're not here to spy for Imadori?"

	"You'd kick my ass!  I'm not crazy!" Yoshidayama 
said.

	"You look like someone did kick your...beat you up," 
Hanai said.

	"Just a little scrap with some guy who couldn't handle 
his woman liked me more than him," Yoshidayama said 
confidently.

	"So, in other words, Keiichi-san kicked your ass for 
hitting on Jenny-san?"  Akira asked.

	"How did...hell no!  We had a race!  Damn tree 
jumped out in front of me," Yoshidayama said.

	Harima looked at Akira.  "Keep him or beat him and 
send him back to Imadori in a pine box?"

	Akira studied Yoshidayama.  "I can use him for a 
special project."

	"Okay, he's all yours," Harima said.

	I don't want the man-woman, Yoshidayama thought.  
"Fine by me," he lied.  He knew enough of espionage to 
know when to hide his preferences.  He'd be getting hot 
college women soon enough.  Mmm, blondes are the best, 
he thought.

	"Excellent," Akira said.  "Come with me, 
Yoshidayama-san."

	He followed her out, and down the hallway.  She said, 
"Don't try to seduce me; my boyfriend wouldn't like it at 
all."

	"NO danger of that," he said more emphatically than 
was perhaps discreet.

	She turned, regarding him cooly, and he felt his limbs 
forget how to work.  

	"For the best," she then said.  "You would not last 
long if he cut loose on you."  

	"Oh come..."  He started to retort, but now his mouth 
shut down as she stared at him.

	Finally, she said, "I need strong arms and an empty 
mind.  I expect you can handle that."

	He grumbled and she led him outside to a pile of 
lumber, where she equipped him with hammers, saws, and 
nails.  "We'll need some crude speakeasy tables.  Get to it."

	"Hmm," he said.  Never made furniture before.  "This 
will be easy," he said confidently.  I can do this, he thought.

	"Good," she said, turning to go.  "Call me once you're 
done."

	He picked up a hammer, thumped it into his palm, 
then went to work.  I've gotten at least one big secret.  Now 
I know they're doing a gangster theme.  And...I should call 
Buddha.  We can put spy cameras in the tables.  Yeah.  I 
am BRILLIANT, he thought.

	Akira wondered idly, as she walked away, how soon 
he would notice the fire ant bed the lumber had been sat 
down on.

**************

	Keiichi grumbled.  Jenny said, "Still jealous?"

	"Yes," he muttered.

	"Good, you're sexy when you're angry," she said, 
pulling him close and stopping him under a tree as they 
made their way back up the slope.  She pulled him in close 
and kissed him fervently.

	He turned red, but kissed her back, embracing her as 
best he could when she was all puffed up in winter 
clothing.

	Finally, he broke it off and said, "Just don't flirt with 
the little punk again, okay?"

	"Yes, dear," she said, though she resolved to keep it in 
reserve; never abandon a winning tactic was her motto.  

**************
	
	Eri turned and stopped, having reached the bottom of 
the slope first.  "Ha!  I win!"

	Harry slid up to her.  "This time.  I'll win the next 
time, though," he said, grinning.

	"Aren't you mad your girlfriend left you out here by 
yourself?" Eri asked him.

	"Naah.  Let me give you some advice--a guy only 
wants his woman clinging to him 24-7 if he's seriously 
insecure.  Or trying to taunt someone.  I'm here to ski, not 
perform, so I'm fine.  It's not like we won't see each other 
later."  Harry flashed one of his extremely confident smiles.

	Eri felt a burst of jealousy at that.  "You and Karen 
seem pretty close."

	"We are," Harry said, his eyebrows insinuating exactly 
how much.

	Not that Eri didn't know from all the noises they made 
at night.

	"So are you covertly aiding Harima in this?" Harry 
asked.

	"I'm staying strictly neutral," Eri lied.

	He shook his head.  "You can't fool me.  I can tell how 
you feel about him."

	Eri stared at the snow, swaying back and forth.  "I 
can't...I don't even know how we could have a future 
together."

	"Don't worry about the future," Harry said.  "If you 
love him, take him for yourself now, because now is what 
we have.  I don't know what Karen and I will do when we 
leave, but that just makes me want to enjoy it more while I 
can."  He flashed his confident smile.  "Maybe I can get her 
to come back to my hometown for her last year."

	"Where are you from, anyway?" she asked.

	"Houston," he said.  "I'd love to show her around 
there."

	Eri cocked her head, studying him.    "Hmm.  Maybe 
we could go there for our class trip.  I wouldn't mind seeing 
Houston.  It's not as ugly as Newark, is it?"

	"NOTHING is as ugly as Newark," Harry said.  "Class 
trip...hmm, I'm sure my folks would like her."

	"Well, we'll have to see," Eri said.  "It would beat 
Kyoto, which is the usual."

	"Hawaii, that's what I want to see," Harry said.  "Well, 
shall we go up another round?"

	"Sounds good to me."

*************

	Yuuki nudged Sagano.  "Ever going to open the 
door?"

	"That damn cat is waiting for me...watching...ready to 
strike.  I can feel it," Sagano said.

	"I'm sure the cat is outside or something," Yuuki said.

	Fuyuki sighed.  "I'll take point, okay?"

	"You're the best of all boyfriends," Sagano said to 
Fuyuki, stepping aside.

	He opened the door and almost instantly had a face 
full of cat.  He yelped, staggered backwards, and fell on 
Karasuma, who toppled.  

	He and Karasuma writhed on the floor as Fuyuki and 
the cat thrashed about.

	It then leaped off Fuyuki onto Sagano's head even as 
Tenma came running in to find Karasuma and Fuyuki 
tangled on the floor.

	Her eyes crossed and she fainted.

	Yuuki began trying to pull the cat off Sagano's head.

	Yakumo and Sara now ran in and looked around, with 
Suga and Asou close behind.  "What's going on?" Asou 
asked.

	Yakumo walked over, made a meowing noise, and the 
cat calmed; she took it into her arms.  I hope I can do this 
well with Iori when I get home, she thought.  "Nice kitty," 
she said softly.

	"That thing's a killer!  Even if it did try to give me 
some yaoi action!" Sagano said.

	"She's a nice little kitty," Yakumo said defensively.

	"Who KILLS," Sagano said.

	"You probably did something to irritate her," Lala 
said.  "You are good at that."

	"I like kitties!" Sagano protested.  "And I didn't do 
anything to the cat."

	"Well, I'll just keep her busy away from you," 
Yakumo said.

	"Thank you," Sagano said.

	The cat purred nicely, snuggling up to Yakumo, who 
walked away with her friends while the cat planned more 
revenge on the evil trumpet player.

**********
		
	Distantly, Harima heard screaming drawing closer.  
He frowned.  "Trouble.  Hanai, come with me."

	Hanai nodded and followed him; so did Mikoto.  

	They headed out to the door and saw Yoshidayama 
running back and forth, covered with fire ants.  

	Harima swiftly ran, grabbed the nearby hose, and 
hosed him down with water, getting rid of the ants.

	For about a second, Yoshidayama was very grateful, 
and then the cold hit him and his clothing froze.  
"AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	"Man, you just can't be satisfied by anything," Harima 
said.

	"He's going to freeze!" Hanai said.  "That wasn't very 
wise, Harima-san."  He ran over and began hustling 
Yoshidayama inside. 

	Harima went over and hosed down the fire ant bed and 
washed the fire ants off the half-finished furniture.  "Hey, it 
worked."

	Mikoto said, "Won't that put ice all over the 
furniture?"

	Harima frowned.  "Dammit."

	Hanai took Yoshidayama inside, while Mikoto and 
Harima studied the wet, half-finished furniture.  "Not bad 
job he's doing," Harima said.  "I don't suppose you can 
punch the water off this by any chance?"

	"No," Mikoto said.  "But we can move it to the 
garage."

	He grumbled, then nodded.  "Right.  Let's do it, then."

	And they went to work.

*************

	Hanai filled the tub with hot water and simply popped 
the frozen, shivering Yoshidayama into it.  The hot water 
quickly revived him.  "What happened?"

	"Stupid ants interrupted my work," Yoshidayama said.  
"Dammit, my clothing is over at Sawachika's place.  But 
this is drenched."

	"I'll see if Nara can loan you something," Hanai said.  
"You can't go out in the cold while so wet; we can run your 
clothing in the drier."

	"I'm gonna kill that bastard for hosing me down," 
Yoshidayama mumbled.  "Nara?  Is he here?"

	Hanai blinked.  "You didn't notice him?"

	"He doesn't really stand out," Yoshidayama said.

	"Well, I'll see if he can loan you something," Hanai 
said.

	"Okay, I'll stay here and plan my revenge," 
Yoshidayama said.  It would be a TERRIBLE one.

**************

	Eri and Harry trudged back up the slope to the top; 
Karen watched them come up, telling herself to not be 
jealous.  He's not after her and she likes Harima, Karen told 
herself.  He's not going to leave me like I left Imadori.

	She suddenly felt guilty, which she didn't like.  He 
used me, she thought.  And now he's Eri's fiancee.  Unless 
he loses the contest.  Which she wanted him to.

	Even though she didn't want him back.

	At all.

	She breathed in and out.  Calm, she told herself.  
Smile.  

	Harry gave her that smile that always made her feel 
warmer, and some of her stress left her.  "Hi, boyfriend.  
Ready for another go round?"

	"Sure thing," he said.  "Wanna race us, Sawachika-
san?"

	"Sure, I haven't got anything else to do," Eri said.  And 
Karen probably won't even really try to win.  I should have 
had everyone possible stay with me, Eri thought.  Though 
Mikoto would want to stay with her...whatever they were, 
exactly.  She was feeling pretty curious.

	They began racing.  As they cruised down the hill, Eri 
could see Karen lagging behind.  That wouldn't do at all. 
But how to motivate her?  

	Threatening to kiss Harry might result in HAVING to 
kiss Harry, after all.

	Harry pulled ahead of Eri while she was brooding, 
zooming past the 'finish line', two trees which arced 
branches together over a clear space.

	Eri came in on his heels and Karen a bit behind her.  
Harry turned and pulled her into a kiss which gave Eri a 
distinct feeling of having become the third wheel.  

	Time to go find someone else to bug, Eri thought.  But 
who?

**************
	
	"Ahah!" Harima said.

	"What?" Akira asked curiously.

	"Perfect," he said.  "I know just the way to neutralize 
Imadori's theme of sausage and meat packing."

	"Hungry American tourists?"

	"Better.  DOGS," Harima said.  "Tadakichi can lead a 
pack of dogs 'accidentally' into it and eat all the sausage."

	"YUM," Tadakichi said.

	"Sounds good," Mikoto said.

	"Alright.  Well, I think we have everything planned, 
so I'm gonna go ski," Harima said.

	And they all scattered.

***************

	"Gangster theme," Imadori said thoughtfully.  
Yoshidayama had called them while waiting for his 
clothing to dry.  
	
	"Not half as cool as ours," Buddha said.  

	Imadori nodded.  "Having the FBI bust them all might 
be useful, though."

	"They have no jurisdiction in Japan, you know," 
Buddha replied.

	"When did that ever stop Americans?" Imadori asked.  
"And it doesn't have to be real FBI; we can use it as a 
theme for gate-crashing."

	"True," Buddha said.  "Let's go for it, then.  What 
about the Sweden theme?"

	"I think they will freeze their guests to death," Imadori 
said.  "And that if we try to interfere, somehow I will end 
up in a giant snowball."

	"That's what Yoshidayama is for," Buddha pointed 
out.

	"True.  Well, once he recovers from wrecking things 
for Harima, we can try sending him after Yakumo's 
faction," Imadori said.  

	Buddha munched on a sausage sandwich.  "You know, 
it probably wouldn't be bad if sausage was our theme."

	"I don't know enough about sausage to do a good job," 
Imadori said.  "Anyway, come help me with this model."

	Buddha nodded, and they went to work.

************

	Hanai's phone rang as he was about to go outside and 
ski with Mikoto, Akira, Nara, Miki, and Masahiro.  
"Hello?"

	"Hi, this is Suga," Suga said.  "Do you have a minute?  
I need some advice, and you're the only guy I know who 
will answer this question without making fun of me first."

	Hanai felt a little flattered; it was nice to see someone 
realized he was a man who takes things seriously.  "Sure, 
what's the problem?"

	"Well, umm, Satsuki and I are going to try 
and...well...do it finally.  But I only know the basics, so I 
was hoping you could give me some...pointers," Suga said.

	"..."

	"Hello?"

	Hanai looked around at those around him.  Mikoto and 
Akira looked back at him quizzically.

	"I...well...hold on, I suppose I'll need some privacy for 
this."  He turned to Mikoto, "Sorry, dear, I have to give 
someone some private advice."

	Mikoto nodded.  "Okay."

	"Suga looking for sex advice?" Akira asked.

	Hanai's jaw dropped.

	Nara laughed, as did Masahiro.  Miki's eyes widened 
slightly, while Mikoto looked hornswoggled.

	Hanai said, "Just...some...stuff..."

	"About sex.  Tell him he should ask Nara too for the 
good advice," Akira said smoothly.

	Nara laughed nervously.

	Hanai said, "I'll...uh...do that...  Be back later."

	Then he ran before Akira could start giving advice or 
suggesting a demonstration or something.

****************

	Yakumo sat with Sara, taking a rest from work.  "So 
tired," she said, leaning on Sara.

	"You can take a nap, if you want to," Sara said.  She 
patted her lap.

	Yakumo slumped over, legs on the couch, head on 
Sara's lap.  "Sara-chan, have you..."  She couldn't quite 
bring herself to ask.

	"Not yet," Sara said, knowing intuitively what 
Yakumo meant.  "Things keep coming up.  And Suga-san 
and Satsuki-san are so afraid of disaster, they haven't done 
anything either."  She sighed.

	"I just...I want..."  Yakumo sighed.  "I'm afraid."

	"Don't be afraid," Sara said.  "You're very beautiful.  
And lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn't just want you 
for sex.  A lot of guys are like that, you know."  She gently 
stroked Yakumo's hair with a hand, feeling Yakumo relax a 
little.

	"That's true," Yakumo said softly.  "But...Sawachika-
san..."

	"She's not half as pretty as you," Sara said.  "His heart 
has just been broken; until he heals, he'll run around like a 
chicken with his head cut off.  You just have to be ready for 
when he gets a new head."

	She felt Yakumo relax more; she could sense Yakumo 
was about to sleep.  "Though I am wondering what you're 
going to do with Sawachika-san if you win."

	Yakumo thought about Otoko-Eri and blushed 
slightly.  "I just have to make sure she can't make him 
marry her," Yakumo said softly.  "And it'll make onee-chan 
happy."

	Sara nodded.  "Sleep," she said softly, and Yakumo 
slid off to dreamland.

**************

	"Hey, you got a minute?" Suga asked Fuyuki.

	Fuyuki blinked.  "Sure, what's up?"

	Suga looked around, then took Fuyuki outside and 
around to one corner of the house.  "Look, I know you and 
Sagano are having sex."

	"Uh, yeah?" Fuyuki asked in confusion.

	"See...do you ever have trouble with...well..."  Suga 
looked very nervous.

	"If you try to do it too often, the body just won't 
respond," Fuyuki said.  "Also, you have to get enough 
sleep."  He leaned against the house.

	"No, I mean...wait, you think I mean..." Suga's eyes 
crossed.  "I don't have any trouble with THAT."  He was 
lying, of course.  "I mean...how do you keep things from 
interrupting?  Ghosts, fathers, riots..."

	"OH," Fuyuki said, straightening his glasses.  "We just 
lock the door."

	"That doesn't seem to work for us," Suga said.

	"Well, beyond that, I honestly don't know what to 
say," Fuyuki said.  "Have you tried asking Asou and Sara 
to stand guard?  You could take turns covering each 
other's...fun."

	"They're being all pure on us," Suga said, sighing.  
"But I guess they might help."

	Fuyuki nodded.  "I'll ask Megumi-san if she can think 
of anything."

	"Thanks.  She's got a creative mind."

	Too creative, sometimes, Fuyuki thought.

****************
	
	"Hmm.  Perhaps they are...CURSED," Sagano said.

	"Cursed? Why?" Yuuki asked.

	Sagano began to pace back and forth while Fuyuki and 
Yuuki sat on the bed.  "Perhaps they angered some god in 
the other world, who seeks to deny them nookie.  Or 
perhaps...Hmm, perhaps God wants to keep Asou away 
from Sara, but his aim is bad..."

	Fuyuki laughed.

	"Somehow, I doubt that," Yuuki said.

	"I think we should stand guard over them one night, 
see what we can observe," Sagano said.  "I am intrigued by 
this."

	"Alright," Fuyuki said.  Compared to a lot of Sagano's 
ideas, this one was pretty reasonable.  "We'll need lots of 
coffee."

	"And tea," Yuuki said.

	"And Dr. Pepper.  Also holy water, stakes, silver 
bullets, garlic and..."  Sagano tapped her cheek.  "What 
repels mobsters?"

	"Income tax audits," Fuyuki said.

	"Hmm, that part will be tricky."

**************
	
	"Er, what?" Eri said to Sagano.

	"We need a source of income tax related things, for 
frightening gangsters, just in case," Sagano said.  "Your 
family is rich, so..."

	Eri said, "Hmm.  I can't help you there, but if you 
think they really need guards, I'll help."  It would be more 
interesting than sleeping by herself again and wondering all 
night if Yakumo was trying to get Kenji naked.  

	Sagano smiled broadly.  "That's very nice of you.  
Sure, more people will help us stay awake.  Oooh...we can 
play a proper game of spades with four.  Excellent.  Also, 
since your fiancee is doing the sausage theme, you can 
make him supply us with tasty sausage snacks."

	Eri wrinkled her nose.  "Are you sure?"

	"I'll come running for a taste of a man's sausage," 
Sagano said.

	There was a moment of silence.

	Sagano slapped her forehead as Eri began to laugh so 
hard she fell over against the wall of the hallway.

	"I didn't mean it like THAT," Sagano said.

	Eri stumbled around, laughing.

	"I'm faithful to my boyfriend!" Sagano protested.  "I 
don't eat anyone else's sausage!"

	Eri fell to her knees, leaning against the wall, laughing 
fit to die.

	"I mean, sometimes I think a sandwich with Yuuki 
would be nice, but she doesn't have a sausage, just... 
AAAAA!!!!!"  Sagano cursed her mouth.

	"Just melons," Eri managed to laugh out.

	"Yes, she has some nice melons, and I wonde... 
dammit, I do not think of everyone as food!  I don't!  I AM 
NOT A CANNIBAL!" Sagano shouted.

	Eri laughed so hard that speech was impossible.  She 
felt better than she'd felt in days.

	"Just because I want..."  Sagano finally clapped a hand 
over her mouth.  Never speak again, she resolved.

	"So you want a sausage and melon sandwich," Eri 
said.  "With mayo?  Or mustard?"  She managed to stagger 
to her feet, laughing.

	Don't speak, don't speak, Sagano thought.  "I think I 
hear my mother calling.  See you tonight!"  She turned and 
ran off.  

	Eri leaned against the wall, laughing, until finally she 
calmed.  She smiled a little.  I feel so much better, she 
thought.  I should find someone else to tease.

****************

	Nervously, Satsuki walked up to Karen.  "Sempai, can 
I have a few minutes of your time?"

	"Sure," she said.  "Satsuki, right?"

	Satsuki nodded, and took Karen off to a quiet room 
and sat down.  "You...well, you've..."

	"I've...?" Karen asked, confused.

	"You and Harry," Satsuki managed to say.

	"We...?  We're dating, yes."

	"Sex," Satsuki blurted out.  "You have, right?"

	Karen's eyes widened.  "Umm, yes?"

	"I...do you...can you...I mean..."  Satsuki looked ready 
to transform into a tomato.  "I only sort of think maybe I 
know what to do.  I have these...I mean...I don't watch porn 
or anything so I just know things people say and they might 
not be true and every time we try to do anything, something 
ruins it, but maybe not tonight."  She looked winded from 
the speed of her speech.

	Karen felt very nervous.  "I only have a little 
experience, but I can try and tell you about it.  Though it is 
kind of embarrassing."

	"I would be very appreciative!" Satsuki said, head 
bobbing up and down.  

	Karen gulped.  "Okay, it's like this..."

	Satsuki took notes of every word.  	

****************

	Yakumo stood before the altar with Otoko-Eri, arm in 
arm, with Sara all gussied up in priestess clothing, ready to 
administer the vows.  Everyone was there, two great hordes 
of friends and relatives in the pews, while stained glass 
images of Jesus, Buddha, and Santa Claus looked down 
benevolently from the windows behind the altar.  

	He was so handsome, smiling at her; she blushed a 
little at Otoko-Eri's gaze.  

	He grinned back confidently; she found confidence 
very attractive.

	"Is there anyone who would object to this union?" 
Sara asked.

	Then Buddha EXPLODED, and Harima crashed down 
through the window, a gun in each hand.  "ME!" he 
shouted.  He threw Otoko-Eri over one shoulder and 
Yakumo over the other and began to run; the crowd rushed 
them, trying to tug them both out of his hands.  Divided, he 
couldn't hold onto either very well.

	Yakumo tried desperately to hold onto him, but they 
kept pulling...pulling...

	She suddenly yanked awake to Tenma tugging her 
foot.  "Hey, Yakumo-chan, it's dinner time," she said.

	Yakumo could see Sara had fallen asleep too.  
"Thanks, onee-chan," she said, then wondered if Kenji 
would ever make up his mind.  And how to help him do so 
the right way.
	
*************

	Karen caught herself humming the Doujibirion theme 
as she walked down the hallway; she could almost hear it 
coming from somewhere.  She thought about having gone 
to see the movie with Imadori and got depressed.

	Somehow, she was just outside the door of the room 
where his gang was planning their party.  He was talking to 
someone, maybe on the phone it sounded like.

	That woman from the party...the drunk one...she 
realized.  Sounded like he was chatting her up.  Everyone 
else was busy talking about models and mecha.  

	She felt an intense burst of anger which scared her.  
She made herself lean against the wall and do a breathing 
exercise.  He wasn't her boyfriend; he could do whatever he 
wanted, she told herself.

	Her body, however, ran away from there, ending up 
running outside and leaning against a tree, until the cold 
began to get her.

	And then Lala was there, in a coat, holding another 
one.  "Don't go out without a coat.  If you freeze to death, 
I'll never revenge myself on you."

	She turned and hugged Lala, squeezing her tightly.  
Lala started, then hesitantly put arms around her.  "Did 
Harry do something stupid?" Lala asked angrily.

	"No, I'm just...thinking about Imadori," Karen said, 
sighing.

	"Don't waste your time.  He's beneath you.  I should 
just go pound him flat," Lala said.

	"Don't," Karen said softly.  "I should go hang with my 
boyfriend. That will make me feel better."

	She hoped he wasn't running around on her, but it did 
seem like Harry was faithful.  

	A cranky looking Yoshidayama stomped past them; 
his hair had frost in places.  Lala idly wondered what was 
up with him.

	But he was too stupid and weak to really matter.  

	Finally, Karen said, "Thank you.  I feel better."

	"Good.  We should go wrestle.  It'll make you feel 
better."

	"I really should practice.  Okay."

	Lala took her inside and went to change into 
something suitable.

**************

	Sara knealt and prayed; she hoped to...with Asou...that 
night.  Which she thought was okay, but now she was 
worried she was just rationalizing.  She hadn't taken any 
sort of oaths, after all.  That came later.  

	On the other hand, getting a taste for it might not be 
wise.  Something you'd never had couldn't be missed like 
something you HAD had.  

	But why would God give me these feelings if he didn't 
want me to act on them, she thought.  Not that she had a 
really good understanding of what to do.  But why did she 
want it so badly?

	"Are you troubled?" came a voice from above.  The 
same voice that had sent her and Yakumo off to find 
Harima.  

	"Is that you, God?" she asked.

	"I am who I am," the voice replied.

	It is him, Sara thought, suddenly feeling very nervous.  
His voice sounded oddly muffled; probably the acoustics 
were strange, due to the ceiling tiles.  "Lord...I..."

	"You desire to lie with Asou, but fear punishment for 
it," the voice said.

	"Yes," she mumbled.  

	"Soon enough, you will take your oaths and be lost to 
men forever.  Sow your wild oats while you can, so that 
you may choose your future with eyes wide open, rather 
than having regrets for what you never tried," the voice 
said.

	That's true, she thought.  It means more to give up 
something you know you...like...than to give up something 
you never tried.  And I'll never know if maybe this is the 
road for me, if I don't try it.  She felt so much better.

	"Thank you, Lord," Sara said.

	"You're welcome.  You should tell Suga and Satsuki 
to stop pussyfooting around, too.  Either do it or forget 
about it."

	She nodded.  "Yes, Lord."

	She waited, but he now fell silent, so she rose and 
went off to find Suga and Satsuki.

	Meanwhile, Imadori went back to crawling through 
the ceiling, stringing wire they'd need for the party.

************

	"Damn, your nookie keeps getting shut down?  That's 
got to suck," Yoshidayama said to Suga.

	Suga nodded.  "So we have a guard detachment.  Eri, 
Yuuki, Fuyuki, and Sagano will be keeping watch."

	This is a good way to infiltrate, Yoshidayama thought, 
feeling cunning.  "How about if I help?  I can kick ass."

	"Sure," Suga said.  He'd make good cannon fodder.  
"Just make sure they don't mind."

	Yoshidayama nodded.  "No sweat."

	Sara now came up to Suga.  "God spoke to me again, 
Suga-san."

	"I didn't do it!" he said frantically.

	She blinked.  "Do what?"

	"Whatever I'm in trouble for!" he said.

	"You're not in trouble.  God just says he wants you 
and Satsuki to either...you know...or to stop pretending to 
try."

	"BOOM," Yoshidayama said, grinning.

	"Ahahaha.  We're trying," Suga mumbled.

	"I'll be...well, I'll be wishing you good luck, but I'll be 
somewhat distracted," Sara said, laughing nervously.

	They both laughed nervously at each other a while, 
and then Sara said, "I'm going to go see Satsuki."

	"Okay," Suga mumbled.  "See you."

************

	Kenji was in bed asleep, hugging a tommy gun, when 
Yakumo arrived.  She carefully removed the gun, changed 
outfits, took a bath, and went to bed; she would have to 
wait to try anything, it looked like.

	Disappointing, but he would need his rest or he'd get 
cranky.

**************

	"Is it really necessary to pile up furniture blocking the 
hallway?" Eri asked Sagano.

	"Yes.  Our command post must be well fortified so we 
can lay down fire along the lines of approach without being 
sniped, should anything, like that DAMN CAT, try to 
interrupt the nookie we are defending," Sagano said.  She 
now put hard-hats on everyone's head.  "Just remember, 
nookie is a sacred thing, and we must be willing to die to 
defend it."

	Eri shook her head, while Yuuki laughed softly.  She 
got out her cards and began shuffling.  "Draw for 
partners?"

	"Sure," Fuyuki said.

	She spread the cards.  Fuyuki got the 10 of Hearts and 
Eri got the Queen.  Yuuki got a 6 of Spades and Sagano 
scored the Three of Diamonds.  "Oh man, gonna have to 
play against my boyfriend," Sagano said.  She then said to 
Fuyuki, "I won't go easy on you, you know, just because I 
love you."

	"That's good, I won't win in three hands that way," he 
said, grinning a little.  

	"I'll show you!" Sagano said.

	Eri smiled a little.  That was how a relationship ought 
to work; if you couldn't ever compete with each other 
without fighting, you'd all go crazy.  She said to Fuyuki, 
"We will bury her in five, instead."

	"I don't think so," Sagano said.  "Yuuki, deal, it's time 
for me to KILL."

	And the game began.

**************		
	
	Yoshidayama lurked in the ceiling space, wondering 
what all the wires running all over were for.  But his main 
purpose was to ensure that no trouble descended from 
above.  Which didn't seem too likely to him, but hey, he 
could just nap up here and score some points which would 
hopefully get him in the good graces of the Yakumo 
faction.

	And at least he wasn't getting frozen this time.

	But where did all these wires come from, anyway?

	Curiosity overcame him and he began exploring to 
find out.

*************

	"The voice of God?" Asou said to Sara.

	"Yes, he spoke to me from above," Sara said, smiling.

	Asou looked up at the ceiling.  "Above? As in, 
through the tiles that we know open into a crawlspace that 
Imadori's used to peep on Lala?"

	She frowned.  "It was just the same as the voice at the 
church that sent Yakumo and I to find Harima."

	Asou said, "I have a rather strong feeling that 
Imadori's been scamming you."  He rose.  "And I'm going 
to find out."

	"But..."  She was afraid to know the truth now...what 
if she had been tricked?  A nun should know better.

	He opened the door, finding Eri, Yuuki, Fuyuki, and 
Sagano deep in a card game.  "Don't mind me," he said, 
carefully making his way through them.  

	"Something wrong?" Sagano asked.  "We're supposed 
to be keeping you and Suga's teams from being interrupted.

	"I have to go beat up Imadori until I get some 
answers," Asou said.  

	Eri frowned.  "What did he do?"

	"Possibly impersonating God," Asou said.

	"..."

	Sagano said, "How the hell did he do that?"

	"That's what I'm going to find out," Asou said.

	"You want backup?" Eri asked.

	"If I can't handle Imadori on my own, I don't deserve 
to live," Asou said, striding off.

******************

	Suga licked his lips nervously as he ran through the 
exercises.  His body, which had been working all day, 
complained at him, but he ignored it.  It was just some stuff 
for limbering up.

	Satsuki looked around the room, then said, nervously, 
"Turn around."

	"Aren't we going to see each other naked anyway?" 
Suga asked a little warily, lifting his leg up onto the bed.

	"Yes, but not while I'm putting this on," she said, 
holding a bag.

	He looked at the bag and wondered how she was 
going to wear it.  "Well, okay," he said, turning around.

	He continued to exercise while listening to stripping 
noises.  It was hard to fight the urge to peep, and he 
wondered what exactly she was doing.

	He got his answer when suddenly she jumped onto his 
back and tried to put him into a hold.  He twisted to one 
side and began wrestling with her; she seemed to be 
wearing a sort of bathing suit, one-piece, very bland, in 
Sukuran school colors.  "Is this really the time for a 
wrestling match?" he asked as he tried to pin her arms, only 
to have her legs come up and lock his head, pulling him 
back.  

	"Yes!  Winner gets to choose who is on top," Satsuki 
said.

	"Ahh, well, in THAT case..." He twisted around and 
got her from behind, pulling her arms back, only to have 
her grab his legs with hers and wrench them around to fall 
on the floor.  

	They continued to wrestle vigorously, both determined 
not to lose.  

************

	Imadori had just finished changing into his 
Doujibirion pajamas when Asou pushed the door open.  
"Imadori," he said.  "Have you been trying to fool Sara by 
pretending to be the voice of God?"

	"I have never claimed to be God," Imadori said.  "Not 
that god, anyway."  He looked around for his mecha cup, in 
which he kept water on the nightstand.  He always seemed 
to awaken with a really parched mouth.

	"Did you lurk up in the ceiling and give my girlfriend 
advice on the assumption she would think you were God?" 
Asou demanded.  

	"Whatever conclusions she draws from advice is 
beyond my power to stop," Imadori said.  His voice was 
calm, but Asou could see his hands shake a little as he took 
his drink of water.

	He's lying, Asou thought.  But he couldn't prove it.  
Unless Imadori confessed.

	"Did you give her any advice at all?" Asou said 
angrily.

	Imadori carefully put the cup down.  "Are you saying 
it's wrong to give people advice?"

	Asou's hands clenched.  "Yes or no!"

	Imadori said, "She loves you very much.  Shouldn't 
you be with her right now?"

	"I don't want YOU interfering in our love life!" Asou 
said.  "So did you talk to her through the ceiling?  And why 
were you up there?"

	"I've been getting ready for the party I'll be hosting all 
day.  Beyond that, it falls into the category of 'trade secrets', 
given you're working for my rival, Yakumo," Imadori said.  

	"This isn't about Yakumo!  It's about you messing 
with my girlfriend!"

	"I have done nothing to hurt her," Imadori said.  "And 
it's..."

	Before he could finish, the ceiling tiles broke and 
Yoshidayama fell through the ceiling.  His hair took 
Imadori in the face as Imadori looked up.  Imadori yelled 
something incoherent and went down like a chump.  They 
crashed onto the floor, tangled like wrestling apes, and 
passed out.

	Asou grimaced, then decided that was probably 
punishment enough.  The fact that Imadori hadn't just 
denied it made him pretty sure Imadori was to blame.  

	He stomped off back to his room as Buddha and others 
came running in.

************

	Satsuki finally managed to get Suga into the hold she 
wanted, and held him until he stopped struggling.  "Haha! I 
win!  I get to be on top."

	Silence.

	"Don't be a sore loser," she said, rolling him over, only 
to find he'd passed out.

	"..."  Now what do I do?

	In a panic, she got her phone and tried calling Karen.

	Karen finally answered groggily.  "Hello?"

	"He passed out!" Satsuki said frantically.

	"Do you have smelling salts?" Karen asked.

	"No."

	"Better let him rest; if he wakes up, you can continue, 
if you want to, otherwise, try...um...wrestling more gently 
tomorrow."  Karen yawned.

	"Okay," Satsuki said.  "Thanks for the help!"  She 
hung up and sat down to wait for him to recover.

***********

	Asou was just making his way back to his room 
through the card game when Eri suddenly felt a cat on her 
head.  

	Eri toppled over as the cat pushed off her, leaping at 
Sagano, just as Asou got in the way.  He got a cat to the 
groin and fell back, smacking his butt into Sagano's face.  
His feet kicked the cards into the air as the cat leaped off 
him, hit the wall, and bounced down at Sagano.

	Fuyuki dived to intercept, body-checking the cat, and 
slamming into Sagano and Asou, rolling them both into the 
wall, even as Yuuki whipped out a slingshot and Eri 
staggered to her feet.

	Sara stuck her head out just in time to see Yuuki repel 
the cat with a fired rock and to see her boyfriend sitting on 
Sagano's face with Fuyuki half on top of him.  She turned 
red and quickly withdrew.

	The cat waved its tail like an angry mob brandishing 
torches, then charged at Yuuki, dodging shots as the 
Sagano / Asou / Fuyuki trio tried to disentangle themselves.  
It leaped for Yuuki, only to have Eri snatch Yuuki out of 
the way, then catch the cat.  It struggled fervently, and she 
called Nakamura.

	"This thing's gone crazy," she said.

	Nakamura took it and it instantly calmed down, 
looking innocent.  "I'll try to keep it away from you, but it's 
part of the purchase deal."

	Eri grimaced.  "Well, we need to break the contract or 
something.  This crazy thing is nothing but trouble."

	"Its rage against Jazz is truly, deeply wrong," Sagano 
said.

	Asou left them debating the cat and slipped into his 
room, finding Sara looking depressed on the bed.  She'd 
changed into her pajamas.

	He closed the door, then came over and sat down by 
her.  "Yeah, it was him," he said.

	"He confessed?" Sara asked softly.

	"No, but he refused to give an answer," Asou said.  
"Close enough."

	Sara stared off at the floor.  "Well..."

	"Anyway, you should be careful about any more 
voices," Asou said.

	"Am I really gullible?" Sara asked softly.

	"Everyone is about something," Asou said, leaning 
back on the bed, and spreading his arms out.

	Sara leaned back onto his right arm.  "Now I don't 
know what to do.  I want...but maybe I shouldn't."
	
	"Well, I'm too cranky to do anything tonight.  And 
tired."  He sighed.  "We shouldn't rush, anyway."

	"Yes," Sara said, wondering if she was wise to be 
cautious or just a coward.

	He gave her a brief hug, put on his pajamas, and went 
to bed.  Soon, they drifted off to sleep.

**************

	Yoshidayama hung from the ceiling by his feet, hair 
swaying just above the floor.  "It was an accident!" he 
protested.

	"Uh huh," Imadori said.  "Why were you up in the 
ceiling?"

	"Trying to infiltrate the Yakumo brigade."  
Yoshidayama explained it all.

	Imadori turned to Buddha.  "What do you think?"

	"Sounds reasonable.  Now he has to go fix all our 
wires, though."

	"What are the wires for?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Controlling the various sausage and meat packing 
devices and transmitting food video," Buddha said.

	"Ahh."

	Imadori let Yoshidayama down.  "Go spy some more.  
See you tomorrow."

	Yoshidayama saluted.  "Will do!"  And he took off.

************

	"You know, with your mother gone, there's nothing 
stopping you going over to see Harima right now, is there?" 
Sagano asked Eri.

	"There's the security men," Eri said, grumblingly as 
she studied her cards.

	Sagano looked around carefully.  "I don't see them."

	"They hide like crazy.  Always watching me," Eri 
said, grumbling.

	"I haven't noticed them since the Christmas Party," 
Yuuki said.

	Eri looked around thoughtfully.  "Ahhh, Fuyuki's 
getting fresh with me!" she tested.

	No one came out and clobbered him.  "HEY!" Fuyuki 
said.

 	Eri licked her lips nervously.  "Maybe...I could.  It is a 
fair walk, but..."

	"They may be ringing the building or something, 
though.  Or that snowball incident may have made them 
wary," Sagano said.

	Yuuki tapped her cheek with one finger.  "I have an 
idea."  Her glasses glinted.  "A truly brilliant plan."

	"Oooh, the best kind," Sagano said.  "Enlighten us."

	"This is what we're going to do..."

*************

	Much to Satsuki's relief, Suga finally woke up.  "I 
guess I lost," he mumbled.

	She laughed nervously.  "Yes.  Are you okay?"

	"I'm fine.  Wow, you fight hard," he said, sitting up.

	She climbed into his lap.  "You up for trying now?" 
she asked softly.  Or did I ruin everything, she wondered.

	He thought about Hanai's advice.  He was SO glad 
he'd done the stretching before they wrestled, or he'd 
probably be all broken right now.  "I think we should try.  
I'm not going to give up this easy!"

	She gulped nervously, but smiled, then twisted around, 
kissing him on the lips and pushing him down onto the bed.  
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on top 
of her, and continued to kiss her, his body partly dangling 
off the bed.

	He had just peeled her one-piece off down to her waist 
and was trying to manuever their bodies to let him kiss her 
chest when Yoshidayama removed a ceiling tile and stuck 
his head down.  "You guys still need me on guard duty?" 
he asked.

	Satsuki shrieked, nearly driving Suga deaf, while Suga 
said, "BUSY!"  

	"Hmm, bigger than I thought," Yoshidayama said.  
"She looks so skinny, normally."  

	Suga snagged his shoe with his foot and kicked it up 
into Yoshidayama's face.  Yoshidayama shrieked and 
toppled down, heading right for Satsuki's back.

	Suga rolled them to one side and Yoshidayama hit the 
bed and bounced.  Cradling Satsuki to his chest, Suga 
pivoted on his butt and kicked Yoshidayama into the air, 
then shouted, "OPEN THE DOOR!"

	A confused looking Fuyuki opened the door, saw all 
three of them, then got hit with a flying Yoshidayama as he 
was kicked out the door.  The door blew shut behind him.

	Satsuki stared, then said, "Wow, that was awesome."  
She pressed a little harder to him, looking flushed.  "I think 
that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen you do."

	"Well, it's not going to be a regular part of our routine 
if I can help it," Suga said, though he felt flattered.  "Just 
like kicking a particularly ugly hackysack."

	Satsuki pushed him back on the bed.  "Show me more 
of your secret techniques, sensei," she said, trying to sound 
breathy, but fearing she sounded more like she was going 
to asphyxiate.  

	"We'll start with painting the fence," he said, grinning 
a little, and beginning to stroke her breasts as the scene 
faded to black to keep our rating.

	For now, anyway.

*******************	

	Fuyuki peeled Yoshidyama off himself.  "What the 
hell is going on?"

	"Fuck if I know," Yoshidayama mumbled, then stood.  
"Where's your bitches?"

	Fuyuki frowned.  "Don't call them bitches, and they're 
in the bathroom."

	"Man, I can't believe you won't take them both at once 
when your girlfriend WANTS you to," Yoshidayama said.  
"Did you accidentally castrate yourself?"  It then hit him 
that insulting Fuyuki was not the best way to get in good 
with him.  "I mean, that would be a real tragedy."  He hated 
grovelling.

	"I'm trying to do the right thing," Fuyuki grumbled.

	"You've at least got some naked pics you can share, 
right?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"I'm not going to share naked pics of my girlfriend," 
Fuyuki said.

	"Man, you are so whipped," Yoshidayama said.  "I've 
got a college woman eating out of my hand without having 
to demasculatificate myself."

	Fuyuki stretched his brain, trying to figure out what 
the hell 'demasculatificate' meant.  "I am NOT whipped.  If 
I was whipped, I'd be doing her and Yuuki at the same 
time."

	Yoshidayama thought about that.  But wasn't this a 
paradox?  The real man would take both of them, yet, he'd 
be doing it because his girlfriend made him, ergo, whipped.  
But no whipped man got two women at once.

	He started to feel dizzy as he went round and round.  
You couldn't be whipped and a real man at the same time, 
and yet Fuyuki was.  But he'd also be that way if he...so 
he...

	Yoshidayama began to sway as, like a Star Trek 
computer, the logical paradox began to short out his brain.  
"Does not compute...does not compute..." he began to 
mumble.

	The final blow was when Eri walked up with Yuuki 
and Sagano, then kissed Fuyuki.

	The breakers blew in Yoshidayama's mind and he 
toppled into darkness.

***************

	Captain Tenma sat in the command chair of the 
Enterprise, which was about to open contact with a ship 
from Orion.  "Raise all hailing frequencies," she said to 
Comm Officer Buddha.

	Buddha swept a massive hand down a bank of levers.  
"Hailing them on 23,583 frequencies, Captain."  BEEP.  
"They're replying. Shall I put them through?"

	"Security officer Kenji?" Captain Tenma asked.

	He stood by the back railing on the slightly elevated 
outer rim of the bridge.  On his back was strapped a giant 
battle blade, in case the enemy chose to board instead of 
blowing the Enterprise into tiny bits.  At his waist, a 
blaster, in case the enemy chose to board instead of 
blowing the Enterprise into tiny bits.  32 other weapons 
were hidden on his body, all mostly useless in spaceship 
combat.  But he was ready for any wandering monsters in 
the hallways, dammit!  "They're all pirates," he said.  "I 
suggest we blow them out of the sky and then brag about 
our victory to anyone who will listen for days."

	"I sense no hostility from them, Captain," Counsellor 
Yakumo said, standing on the bridge in a short-skirted 
dress-like outfit which showed off her legs nicely, not that 
Captain Tenma spent much time looking at her sister's legs 
when she could be ogling Science Officer Karasuma.  "But 
I can sense more once the hailing frequencies are open."

	"There is no danger of an attack, unless they are able 
to turn people to stone on sight," Communications Officer 
Buddha said.

	Captain Tenma felt lucky.  That couldn't happen two 
episodes in a row, right?  "Open the frequencies."

	It was a strange race of creatures who all looked like 
Hanai.  Counsellor Yakumo felt a wave of shared sentiment 
from them.

	"Analysis?" Captain Tenma asked.

	"They all want to date me!" Counsellor Yakumo said, 
then ran with their thoughts chasing her.

	Yakumo woke up, breathing hard.  Hanai had finally 
stopped turning his mind to her, for which she was glad.  
But...

	She looked at Kenji, who was fast asleep, and sighed.  
Idly, she ran a hand across his chest; he mumbled 
something about ramen.  

	She hated fighting him, but she couldn't give up now.  
Not when...

	Then she heard something hit the window.  Like a 
small rock.  She nervously got out of bed, crept to the 
window, and peeked through the curtain.  It looked 
like...Yuuki was throwing rocks at the window?

	Had she really walked all the way through the snow?

	Maybe I should go let her in, Yakumo thought.  She's 
come all this way.

	She threw on a robe over her pajamas and put some 
boots on and hoped it would be enough.  Then she ran 
around to one of the doors and circled around to where 
Yuuki was, yawning.  

	"Yuuki-sempai, what are you doing here?" she asked.

	Yuuki looked very nervous, adjusting her glasses.  
When she spoke, her voice was strained.  "I...umm...I got 
lonely and kept thinking about Hanai-san and..."  She 
stared at the ground, looking defeated.  "Stupid of me."

	Yakumo felt a burst of sympathy.  "Well, you really 
shouldn't disturb sempai, but would you like to come in and 
have some tea?"

	"I'd better get something to warm me up," Yuuki said, 
still sounding strained.

	"Okay," Yakumo said.  "Come with me."

*************
	
	Eri kissed Fuyuki as she sat in his lap.  It felt 
wonderfully illicit.  

	Fuyuki felt his nerves jangling as Sagano leaned over 
his shoulder from behind, arms around his chest, head on 
his shoulder, while Eri kissed him.  "You think they can see 
us inside here?"

	They'd retired to Sagano and Yuuki's bedroom.  

	"Well, if they could see us, they'd be clobbering you 
right now," Eri said thoughtfully, then kissed Fuyuki again, 
following up by taking one of her ponytails and gently 
tickling his cheek with it.  "Oooh, I like this."

	"I think we're definitely going to have to get some 
photos for future reference," Sagano said.  She giggled 
loudly, almost maniacally.  "I'm sure Yuuki will boggle 
when she sees them."  She now kissed Fuyuki's ear, making 
him twitch.

	She and Eri both laughed an evil laugh which made 
Fuyuki even more nervous.  The plan was definitely 
heading out of control.  	

	But at least it was unlikely he would get a beating 
from the security men.

**************

	"Security still on ice?" Imadori asked Buddha.

	"There's wall to wall porn in their security room," 
Buddha said.  "They're not going anywhere."

	"Excellent," Imadori said.  "Now I just wish I had 
something to do which this would help."  He sighed.

	"You could sneak your teacher girlfriend in," Buddha 
pointed out.

	"YOU ARE THE BEST MAN EVER," Imadori said, 
clapping his arms.  "You are my own personal savior."

	"I am the Buddha, after all," Buddha said.

	Imadori laughed long and loud.  "Thanks," he said. 
"I'll call her right away."  He paused.  "If you watch us, I 
will kill you and everyone else."

	Buddha yawned.  "I'm going to bed," he said.  "And 
you know I wouldn't do that."

	"I know," Imadori said.  "Just...sorry.  I should know 
that.  Anyway, see you tomorrow!"

	Buddha headed out and went to bed, and soon found 
himself in space under Tenma's command, much to his 
confusion, though he soon adapted.  

************

	Yuuki sat quietly, her eyes hidden behind her thick 
glasses, looking stiff and nervous.  Yakumo could feel the 
nervousness coming off her as she worked on making some 
caffieine-free herb tea.  

	"You..."  Yakumo fell silent.  She had never been 
comfortable telling people what to do.  But Yuuki really 
needed to give up on Hanai.  

	"I?" Yuuki asked softly, waiting.  

	"I know you like Hanai-sempai," Yakumo said softly.  
"But you'll only hurt yourself if you don't forget about him, 
now that he has a girlfriend."

	Yuuki stared at her intently; the glasses confused 
Yakumo's thought-sight somehow, drawing her in almost 
hypnotically.  Yakumo wobbled slightly, and Yuuki said, "I 
can't give up.  Not all 'relationships' last.  I still have a 
chance."  Her voice was heated and very oddly wobbly.

	"They're happy together, isn't that enough?" Yakumo 
asked, now pouring them each a glass of tea.  She dug out 
some cookies to snack on.

	Yuuki devoured one hungrily.  "No.  I made some 
mistakes early on, or he'd be mine.  Mine," she said harder 
the second time.  "I won't make them again."

	Something, something wasn't quite right, Yakumo 
thought.  But she was tired and sleepy and nothing felt 
right, anyway.  "Well...umm..."  Yakumo was generally not 
comfortable criticizing people.  

	"I know.  He's in bed with his 'girlfriend'.  But that's 
subject to change."  Yuuki's glasses flashed.  

	"You might want to call ahead before walking all the 
way here in the middle of the night," Yakumo said, trying 
to give some helpful advice."

	Yuuki finished her tea.  "I know," she said curtly.  "I 
had best head back."  She didn't sound pleased about it.

	"Would you...like some company?  It's probably not 
safe to do it alone," Yakumo said.

	"Wouldn't you have to walk back by yourself, then?" 
Yuuki asked, cocking her head.

	Yakumo blinked, then said, "You're right.  I didn't 
think of that."

	"I'll be fine, just irritated," Yuuki said.

	"I'm sorry," Yakumo said, feeling embarrassed.

	"Sorry doesn't change things," Yuuki said, rising.  
"Thank you for the tea," she said a little hollowly, then put 
her coat on and headed out, leaving Yakumo staring after 
her.

************

	Fuyuki could barely think at all; he wasn't sure if he 
was asleep or awake; it couldn't possibly be real, and now 
he was getting confused in his head as to who was actually 
who.  Eri was probably actually Megumi, that was the plan, 
and her features looked right, though in the shadows, the 
blonde hair was awfully convincing.  But Sagano was 
actually Yuuki, but where Megumi couldn't fake being Eri 
all that well in terms of acting, Yuuki had Megumi down 
perfectly.

	She was taking pictures of him with 'Eri' and seemed 
to be enjoying herself.  He was enjoying the making out, 
but he had a bad feeling about the future of these pictures, 
which was why he'd avoided taking pictures of Megumi 
before.  Taking them like this, anyway.

	"Eri-chan," 'Megumi' said.  "Time for you to take 
some photos of me with my boyfriend."

	Okay, this is definitely the point where I have to say 
something, Fuyuki thought.

	'Eri' nodded.  "Of course."  She caught the camera.  "I 
think we should start with you two sitting up on the dresser 
drawers."

	'Megumi' nimbly took an unprotesting Fuyuki and 
leaped up with him.  "Okay, let's get started, lover-boy."

	"I think...mmmm...." Words were drowned by lips, 
and he decided to just go with the flow.  If it went wrong, 
this was all Megumi's fault, anyway.

**************

	Mikoto woke up; was something rapping at her 
window?

	She glanced over, but couldn't see anything through 
the curtains.  She just heard a rapping noise.

	She pulled her robe on and crept over the tangled 
bodies to the window.  Yuuki was there, rapping at the 
window.  I must be imagining things, Mikoto thought.

	Yuuki pulled out a pendant and dangled it...wait, that 
was Eri's pendant...what the hell is she doing with...or is 
that Eri in disguise?  Mikoto peered out the window.

	Yuuki began making some kind of hand signs that 
Mikoto didn't understand at all.  Finally, she opened the 
window and pulled Yuuki in, then closed it; the blast of 
cold air made her three companions shiver in their sleep.

	Yuuki spoke with Eri's voice, softly, "Got a minute?"

	"Why are you dressed as Yuuki?" Mikoto whispered.

	"To evade my security men.  Sagano is covering as 
me, while Yuuki pretends to be her," Eri whispered.

	"..."

	Eri smiled a tiny smile.  "I know, but it worked."

	Mikoto laughed softly, putting a hand over her mouth.  
"You gonna crash over here instead of walking back in the 
cold?"

	"Aren't you pretty full?  Also, I don't know if they can 
fool security for that long," Eri said.    	

	"Yeah, but I hate to see you walk all that way by 
yourself," Mikoto said, frowning.

	"I'll be fine," Eri said.  "I just..."  She glanced over at 
the bed, where she could see Hanai with his face in a 
pillow, with Miki's legs on his and the rest of her body 
cuddled up to Masahiro, who had his arms around her in his 
sleep.  "Are you sleeping with all of them or do you all just 
like to watch?"

	"..."

	Eri slapped her forehead.  "I'm sorry, that just came 
out."

	"Watch," Mikoto mumbled.  

	Eri's eyes crossed.  "So you're helping Kenji out, 
right?"

	Mikoto nodded.  "Should be fun."  She looked 
carefully at Eri.  "So are you going to deny you like him 
now?"

	Eri's glasses glinted, hiding her eyes.  Then she said, 
"I don't want to end up fighting with Tenma, but I don't 
know what to do about that."

	"You're the one who said he and Yakumo were 
dating," Mikoto said softly.

	"I know," Eri muttered.  "So how did you get Hanai to 
stop monkeying around?"

	Mikoto turned red, and mumbled incoherently.

	Eri looked at Mikoto, looked at the people on the bed, 
then back at Mikoto.  "So, are you two doing the other two 
after all?"

	"NO," Mikoto said, then put a hand over her mouth, 
glancing back.  The only effect of the no was that Hanai 
was now fumbling in his sleep with one arm, apparently 
trying to find the missing Mikoto.  

	"But we did...once we got serious, he dumped the 
others," Mikoto said.

	Eri licked her lips nervously.  Surely Kenji would 
commit himself if they actually...  She thought about him 
naked and blushed.

	Mikoto was smiling a slightly patronizing smile at her.  
"You're cute when you're blushing.  Thinking about Kenji-
kun naked?"

	"No," Eri lied.  "So how did the four of you..."

	"We just kind of...it just kind of happened after I did 
my big love confession," Mikoto said.  

	Eri suddenly imagined getting herself, Kenji, Sagano, 
and Fuyuki all together in a room, and...  her nose suddenly 
gave a trickle of blood.

	"Ecchi," Mikoto teased, while Eri dug out a tissue and 
wiped her nose.  

	"I must have dust in my nose," Eri said.

	"Yes, dust," Mikoto said, amused.  "Ecchi dust."

	Eri snorted and glanced over at the bed.  Hanai was 
now hugging Mikoto's pillow in his sleep.  This made her 
smile a little.  

	"Anyway," Mikoto said.  "I'm sure Tenma will forgive 
you, eventually.  She's very kind."

	"Yeah," Eri said.  "I don't care what happens to 
Yakumo, but Tenma's always been a good friend to me."

	"Just don't let it all drag on.  Guys will do that if you 
don't hold their nose to the fire," Mikoto said.

	'Nose to the Fire'?  That sounds Tenmaesque, Eri 
thought.  "Well, hopefully, once I rig this contest, that will 
settle things," Eri said.  

	Mikoto said softly, "Better not say that where news 
might get to your mother, leading her to make you new 
trouble."

	"It can't get much worse," Eri said softly, then 
yawned.  "I'd better head out."

	"Okay," Mikoto said, taking her to the door and 
explaining how to get out.  "See you later."

	"You too," Eri said.  "Enjoy your lovers."  She 
sounded envious.

	Mikoto blushed a little.  "I will."

	"Goodnight," Eri said, and headed out.

*************	

	Eri was walking up to her lodge, feeling tired, when 
she spotted the sauna under construction.  I wonder if it will 
work, she thought.

	She wandered into it, studying it and trying to figure 
out if it would actually work.  Having one of these would 
be nice, she thought.  Even if you have to run through the 
snow afterwards.

	The thought suddenly hit her that it was possible her 
mother had organized the whole contest just to put 
everyone to work designing parties for her, so she wouldn't 
have to.

	Eri shook her head.  She wouldn't...not JUST for that, 
anyway.

	She sighed and turned and stared off across the valley 
towards the other lodge.  You'd better be worth all this, 
Kenji, Eri thought.  Or I'm going to kill you.

	He was too busy dreaming of having a gun fight with 
J. Edgar Hoover on top of the burning Hindenburg to pick 
up her psychic message, so she went inside and went to 
bed.

**************
	
	Yuuki woke up feeling very strange.  It soon sank in 
that the reason she felt strange was that a blonde Sagano 
was cuddled up to her from one side and a glasses-less 
Fuyuki was cuddled up to her from the other, and they were 
all mostly naked, though she noticed that she DID still have 
her socks on.  Which was good, as her feet got cold at 
night.  She was half-buried under them, and she could feel 
Sagano's breath on her neck.

	She had dim, confused memories, as if someone else 
had borrowed her body while she watched and took notes, 
though that was certainly not possible and her body 
certainly felt like...it felt wonderful.  

	My parents are going to kill me, she thought.  With the 
fire from their eyes.  And what will we do...people will get 
all sorts of crazy ideas and say crazy things and...

	She felt utterly confused and not knowing what to do.  
Would they want to do it again?  What did Fuyuki really 
think of her?  Had he just done it because guys liked having 
two women at once?  Sure, he'd opposed Megumi in the 
past, but maybe that was to make it look like it was all their 
idea.  So they'd keep doing it and...

	His arms felt so good around her, and the things he'd 
done...her head swam at the memory of it.  And Megumi, 
and she...Megumi had better wash her hair after that, Yuuki 
thought, eyes crossing.  

	Yuuki wished she was more of an optimist.  She could 
see so many ways for this to go utterly screwed up.  But she 
wanted it to work.  She didn't want to be alone.  Maybe it 
could work.

	But she just feared otherwise.

	My parents are going to KILL me, she thought. 

	So dead.

	She finally drifted off back to sleep, basting in her 
worries.  

************** 

	Tenma awoke with a sudden feeling of paranoia.  
Really, there was no reason to be fretful; Karasuma was 
here and Yakumo was with Kenji, even if he was being 
stubborn, and there were definitely no drop bears under the 
bed.

	She looked up quickly.  Or on the ceiling, either.  

	Finally, she decided she needed food.  Food would 
calm her nerves.  So she stumbled out of bed, glad that she 
slept in nice warm pajamas so she wouldn't freeze to death, 
and crept off to the kitchen, where she found Akira making 
tea.  "Won't that keep you awake?" she asked.

	"No caffieine," Akira said.  "Would you like some?"  
Akira was wearing an extremely long white shirt with little 
black money signs of various kinds all over it.  It stretched 
down to below her knees, and Tenma wondered how 
exactly anyone would be tall enough to wear it normally.

	"I'd love it," Tenma said, smiling, and forgetting the 
shirt.

	Akira nodded and poured her a glass, then got out an 
apple and began cutting it into slices.  "Apple?" she asked.

	"Yes."

	Akira got a second apple and began slicing.

	"Is Nara-kun treating you good, Akira-chan?", Tenma 
asked.

	"Yes," she said firmly, slicing away.  "Why do you 
ask?"

	"I'm trying to understand why Kenji is being such a 
monkey and if I'm going to have to beat some sense into his 
head," Tenma said dolefully.  She sipped her tea.

	Akira served Tenma some apple, then began slicing 
for herself.  "Kenji has all the strengths and weaknesses of 
a big macho man.  He's the sort of person who will fight to 
the death to protect you, but won't remember your birthday, 
your anniversary, or when you met.  But his heart is still all 
messed up."

	"He should be faithful to Yakumo, not trying to get Eri 
to marry him," Tenma said, crankily chewing her apple as 
loudly as possible, which is to say, very loudly.

	Akira finished slicing, sipped her tea, nodded 
approvingly at it, then sat down.  "It's not my place to tell 
you everything, Tenma, though I wish I could.  But I try 
not to violate people's secrets.  Also, you're trying to help 
your sister marry Eri."

	"She's not...she won't..."  Tenma thought about some 
things on the trip.  "I mean...you don't think she's planning 
to turn Eri into a man and date both her and Kenji at the 
same time, do you?"

	Akira meant to say 'no', but her instincts controlled 
her.  "It's possible," she said, then regretted it.  Not every 
time was good for a prank.

	Tenma's eyes crossed.  "Well, Eri-chan did make a 
very sexy man."

	Akira fought her instincts down.  "This probably 
comes down to lover's rivalry, though."

	"Yakumo-chan is very loveable, and she might be able 
to...but our parents...what would they say?" Tenma asked.  
"I don't know if they'd accept it.  Also, I don't think...well, 
maybe if they went to Vegas, then they could both marry 
Yakumo."

	Akira wondered what it was like to be Tenma.  She 
wished she could try it, just for one day; it must be a wild 
ride.  Taking another draught of her tea, she reached over 
and took Tenma's hand.  "I really don't think that's likely."

	"And the children?  Wouldn't it mess up the genes if 
they had two daddies?  Or would there be a constant war 
inside Yakumo-chan between their...stuff?" Tenma asked.  
She could see vast legions of tiny Otoko-Eri and Kenji 
doubles duking it out inside her sister.  How would 
Yakumo ever sleep with all the racket?

	Sometimes, Akira just had no idea what to do.  Those 
were the dangerous times when little crazy bits inside her 
head would come out and play. Thankfully, they were rare.  
Thanklessly, this was one of those times.  "Don't forget that 
her own body weeds out most of them, so it would be a 
three way war."  This was true, yet not really helpful.

	Tenma almost stuck an apple slice up her nose.  
Instead, she said, "It does?  Oh man, the poor little things, 
going to their death in a world of endless war."  She looked 
extremely fretful.

	Akira finished a slice, washing it down with more tea.  
"To my knowledge, it's a very peaceful, quiet process of 
elimination.  It ensures only one sperm fertilizes the egg.  
Though fraternal twins happen when two eggs get fertilized 
at once."

	"So Yakumo is going to have nothing but twins?" 
Tenma asked.

	Akira studied her apple slices in the hope it would 
reveal some way to get this conversation back on a saner 
track.  

	There were footsteps, and she prayed it was not 
Yakumo or Kenji or Eri, as that would likely only lead to a 
Tenma freak-out.  

	Instead, it was a groggy Nara in just his boxers.  
Tenma felt her mind clear, as suddenly all she could think 
about was how sexy he was.  This led to her punching 
herself mentally for thinking about any other man but 
Karasuma.

	Nara groggily said, "Oh there you are, Akira-chan.  I 
woke up and you were gone and I started to worry."  He 
came over and kissed her cheek, then turned and walked 
into the refrigerator.

	Akira stared into her tea.  "I didn't think you'd wake up 
and I wanted a snack.  I'm sorry."

	"Why isn't this thing opening?" Nara mumbled as he 
walked into the fridge again, yawning.

	Tenma could feel naughty thoughts trying to form and 
she jumped on them like Mario on turtles.  "Let me get it," 
she said, opening the fridge for him.

	He started to lean towards her, as if to kiss her, and 
she froze up.  Then he stopped, started, and said, "You're 
not Akira-chan."

	Tenma laughed nervously.  "We don't look that much 
alike, do we?"

	Akira sat Nara down and got him out an apple and 
poured him some tea and sat him down.  He began clumsily 
eating it.

	I'd better go to bed before he kisses me...no, he'd never 
kiss me, Tenma thought.  I'm just tired and confused and 
not letting my mind wander to Akira-chan's boyfriend.  At 
all.

	Tenma got up.  "I should give you two some privacy."

	"You don't have to go," Akira said.  

	"I'm fine now," Tenma said.  "I'm not running away to 
avoid doing something foolish, at all.  See you tomorrow!"

	And then she took off, leaving Akira confused in her 
wake, though an outside observer couldn't have told this.

********************

	Distantly, Tomo woke up in the middle of the night, 
burning for vengeance.  Or possibly just burning because 
her little sister had used Tomo as a snotrag in the night.  
She'd been on perpetual little sister watch since her return, 
and with no Sagano to torment, being at Sagano's wasn't 
much fun.

	But somehow, yes, somehow, she would get her 
revenge.  

	She got up and stared at her clothing, then 
contemplated strangling her sister.  Instead, she went and 
changed into clean clothing and took a bath, letting ideas 
percolate.

	It was time to make a phone call.  

	She rang up Yomi, who said, "You have fifteen 
seconds to justify calling me at this hour."

	"You have to help me destroy my cousin!," Tomo 
said.

	"Not caring," Yomi said.  "Five seconds."

	"She poisoned you with the fruitcake."

	Distantly, Yomi's eyes glinted.  "There must be 
vengeance."

	"Good," Tomo said.  "Now, this is the way we're 
going to get even..."

***************

	Hanai's father looked suspicously at his breakfast.  
"Does this have beans in it?"

	"You can assume, by default, that everything has 
beans in it unless told otherwise," Mr. Gonzales said.

	"Delightful," Satsuki's father mumbled, but then began 
eating up a storm.

	Hanai's father picked at his food, while Mr. Gonzales 
ate up.  "So, we still planning to hitch a ride?," Mr. 
Gonzales asked.

	"I don't think Tawaraya-san is ready to survive 
clinging in the wheelwell of a plane for hours on end," Mr. 
Hanai said.  

	"Well, we'll have to train him up," Mr. Gonzales said.

	"I don't think we can train him that quickly," Mr. 
Hanai said.

	"Hah, that's what training montages are for," Mr. 
Gonzales said.

	"Unless you know some secret technique...," Mr. 
Hanai began.

	"Of course I do.  Those montages in my movie were 
filmed in real time.  But first, eat up.  You'll need to be full 
of beans for this," Mr. Gonzales said.

	Mr. Tawaraya, Satsuki's father, continued to snarf 
down food, while Mr. Hanai hoped that did not mean what 
he feared it did.

***********

	Sagano woke up, staring at the world through bleary 
eyes.  She seemed to be hugging herself and Fuyuki.  But 
how was that possible?  I haven't jumped into someone 
else's body, have I?  Is this time travel?

	Maybe Al was going to come through the wall right 
this minute and explain her mission in this time and...

	Sagano shook her head.  There had to be some 
perfectly logical explanation why she was in someone 
else's body.

	Not that she could think of one.

	She reached up and pulled her hair into the light.  
Blonde...in pony tails...

	Oh great, I possessed Eri and had sex with my own 
body and my boyfriend and...hey, if I'm not in my body, 
who is running the shop?

	Sagano felt herself grow more panicked.  Did some 
evil sorceror follow us back to this world and shuffle our 
bodies?  What if Harima is in my boyfriend's body and 
that's actually...I don't know...Karen in my body?

	Maybe Karen and Harry go around possessing people 
and using their bodies for sex and...

	Even Sagano's imagination had its limits.

	Okay, that's too silly for words, Sagano thought.  If 
they really were possessing me, surely they'd trap my soul 
in a donut or something, not put me in Eri's body.  But why 
am I in Eri's body?  

	She looked down at her current body.  Do my breasts 
look bigger than usual or am I just imagining things?  
Looking over at her normal body, the breasts also looked 
right there.  And Fuyuki still didn't have any significant 
bosom, thankfully.  Whoever might be POSSESSING 
HIM.

	She rubbed her bleary eyes and her vision cleared a 
little.  Wait, that's not MY body, that's Yuuki disguised as 
me.  

	It was kind of disappointing, really, though now the 
memories started to come back to her as she woke up more.  
All those pictures...the kissing...the pictures...THE 
PICTURES.

	She looked around, then saw the camera on the 
nightstand and relaxed.  Little danger of the pictures 
suddenly appearing in major newspapers or anything.

	I wonder if I made a convincing Eri, she thought.  She 
reached over, grabbed it, and began viewing pictures, 
snapping a few accidental shots of Yuuki and Fuyuki as she 
went.

	She was still viewing when Fuyuki stirred.  He stared 
at her, then at Yuuki, eyes wide.  "I can't believe we did 
that," he mumbled.

	Yuuki continued to sleep, mumbling something about 
reindeer.

	"So, was I as good as the real thing?" Sagano asked 
teasingly.

	"I wouldn't know," Fuyuki mumbled.  "Back when I 
had dreams about her, it was never like that."

	"Oooh, dreams," Sagano said, smiling.  "And how was 
Yuuki?"

	"I think she conveyed the essence of you very well," 
Fuyuki said.  "Enough so that I forgot it wasn't you partway 
in."  He laughed nervously.  

	Sagano wasn't sure whether to be pleased for Yuuki or 
jealous.  Or both, maybe.  "So, who was better?" she asked.

	"MY CAMERA!" Fuyuki said, suddenly panicking.  
He fumbled at the empty nightstand.

	Sagano dangled it over him.  "Right here, honey."

	He reached for it and she pulled it up out of his reach.  
Teasing him was a LOAD of fun.  She dangled it back and 
forth as he tried to reach for it.

	This caused Yuuki-jostling, and she shivered and 
awoke.  She rubbed her eyes.  "Is this some sort of morning 
ritual?" she mumbled.

	Sagano suddenly panicked, dropping the camera, 
wondering what Yuuki thought of all this and whether she'd 
just botched up her friendship with Yuuki or taken it to 
another level.  Self-contemplation and reflection didn't 
come easily to Sagano; usually, they were only found in the 
wake of abject disaster, if then.

	Fuyuki caught it and put it on the stand.  He looked 
very nervous himself now.  "I...uh..."

	Yuuki stared at them; she looked strange to them with 
her glasses off.  Sagano had to keep reminding herself that 
wasn't actually her own body.  There was an unusual 
intensity to her gaze which made Sagano rather nervous.  

	"Megumi-chan," Yuuki said softly.  "Focus."

	"I'm focusing my focus!" Sagano said, trembling at the 
gaze.  "My focus has been focused in a focusistic manner!"

	"A what?" Fuyuki said, confused.

	"But my glottal stop is shaking," Sagano said, feeling 
her legs tremble.

	"Do you even know what that is?" Fuyuki asked.

	"It's...my....why am I shaking?" Sagano asked, feeling 
her entire body vibrate.  "But since my whole body is 
shaking, my glottal stop must be shaking."  The jiggling of 
her breasts would have annoyed her, but the terror 
protected her from THAT, anyway.

	"I...Megumi-san," Fuyuki said softly, reaching over 
and taking her hand.  "Wow, you are shaking."  He was 
shaking a little himself now.  

	He glanced at Yuuki, who seemed almost made out of 
stone or ice, she was so calm.  

	Yuuki said softly, "Megumi, a glottal stop is a sound 
you make when talking, like the sort of noise in the middle 
of saying 'uh-oh'.  It happens when you block the flow of 
air with your vocal cords."  She reached up to lay her hand 
on Sagano's cheek, then slid it down her throat to touch 
where her vocal cords were inside them, then dropped the 
hand.  

	"Uh-oh," Sagano mumbled.  "Yuuki, are you mad at 
me?  Have I done something stupid again?  Please don't 
hate me."  She felt utterly terrified she'd totally fucked 
things up.

	"Megumi, do you love me?" Yuuki asked softly, her 
hand rising to play about Sagano's cheeks again.  

	Sagano felt Yuuki's gaze on her like a cat regarding a 
mouse.  She felt like entire layers of her self were peeling 
away.  She tried to speak, but nothing but little panicked 
noises came out of her throat.

	Fuyuki watched tensely, not sure what to say.

	"Is that a yes or a no?" Yuuki asked softly, her voice 
so calm it sent Sagano deeper into abject terror.  

	Focus, Sagano told herself.  All I have to do is to think 
about what happened and understand how I feel.

	That was all.

	I'll just climb Mount Everest and destroy all the 
Middle Eastern terrorists while I'm at it, Sagano thought.  

	If there was anything she was terrible as hell at, it was 
introspection.  What the hell is love, anyway?  She knew it 
if she didn't think about it, but if she thought about it, it 
slipped through her fingers like sand through a ladle...a 
sieve...something.

	Time seemed to have stopped and she didn't know 
what was going on inside her head.  She wished she had her 
own personal mini-goddess to advise her in these 
situations.

	So what was love?  It was caring about someone, 
wasn't it?  Wanting them to be happy, even if you aren't?  
Being able to share your secrets and having someone who 
understands you as well as...maybe BETTER than you do.  
At least in her case.  

	She wanted Yuuki to be happy, with her or with 
someone else.  That was love, wasn't it?  Yes, it was love.  

	She flashed back to the previous night, and shivered, 
but this time with a memory of pleasure.  Yuuki had been 
wilder than her, once she'd cut loose.  Or was she just 
trying to be like me, Sagano wondered.  Am I really that 
free?  

	But what would Fuyuki say?  Would he feel like he 
was being dumped if she said yes?  She didn't want to 
dump him.  She loved him, she was sure of that, and she 
wanted, desperately, to be a good girlfriend, to not fuck up 
one of the few things in her life that had gone really well.  

	"I love both of you," she said softly.  "But I won't 
force anything on either of you.  I know I tend to always 
want my way and shove it down everyone's throats, and 
usually 'my way' is the crazy way.  So if you guys don't 
want this, I won't do it again."  She crossed her heart.  "But 
for me, it was wonderful."

	Yuuki looked over at Fuyuki.  "And you, Takeichi-
kun?  Do you love me?"

	Sagano watched him closely, then sagged when he 
said, "I can't pretend I'm in love with you, although..."

	"Although you'd like to do that again?" Yuuki said 
softly, still utterly calm.

	He tried looking down, but that just meant staring at 
Yuuki's breasts.  Which were worth staring at, but not very 
relieving of his anxiety.  "Yes," he said softly.  "Maybe, in 
time, I might fall in love with you, but I don't want to make 
promises based on things I can't exactly control."

	Yuuki now reached up and pulled their heads down 
next to hers.  Fuyuki fumbled about with his left arm, 
trying to find somewhere to put it that wasn't a sexy part of 
a naked female body; he finally settled for Megumi's back.

	"Part of me still loves Hanai-san," Yuuki said.  Her 
voice changed, moving from a still calm to a tone of 
affection.  "But I'm ready to move on now.  I'm like you, 
Takeichi-kun; I can't pretend I love you yet, but maybe I 
can, as I let go of Hanai.  But I certainly like you very 
much.  And I love Megumi-chan.  Enough to know she can 
probably use both of us helping her keep on the straight and 
narrow."  She ruffled Sagano's hair gently.  "And she can 
keep us from getting all staid and boring."

	Sagano smiled.  "I'm good at that, anyway."

	Fuyuki laughed softly.  "I'll never be bored with you 
along for the ride, Megumi-chan."  He looked at Yuuki, 
"We understand each other, then?"

	"Yeah," she said softly, kissing his cheek.  "Let's take 
it as it goes."

	Sagano felt all the tension run out of her body.  She 
sank down into the bed, moving to wrap her arms around 
them.  "Awesome."

	"However, there is one thing," Yuuki said.

	"Yes?" 

	"We need to think about how not to all be killed by 
our parents," Yuuki said.  "None of whom will likely 
approve."

	"Well, it's not like Takeichi-kun and I told them about 
our sex before," Sagano began.

	"They probably won't approve of...three," Yuuki said.

	"My dad will set me on fire," Fuyuki said.

	"My parents will assume some wicked man seduced 
me and kill Fuyuki," Yuuki said.

	"I'm not sure if my parents would even notice," 
Sagano said.

	That really explained a lot, Fuyuki thought.

	"Well..." Sagano frowned.  "Unless we kept it a secret, 
but that's COMPLETELY unfair to Yuuki."

	Fuyuki frowned.

	"That's okay," Yuuki said.  "Half the people around us 
think we're doing this anyway.  As long as we don't do 
anything suspicious in front of our parents, we'll be fine."

	"Yuuki, I..." Sagano began, feeling guilty.

	"We probably should get some advice from Tani-
sensei and Yuri-sensei and Tae-sensei," Yuuki said.  "But 
I'm okay with this for now.  If we last, we can be more 
public once we go off to college where the parents won't be 
able to give us orders.  But most relationships don't last that 
long, anyway."

	Sagano frowned.  "I think we..."

	"Let's hope for the best and be ready for the worst," 
Yuuki said.  "It's the sensible way to do something not 
sensible."  She laughed softly.  "Also, we need to be 
absolutely certain those pictures can't fall into the hands of 
Imadori and company."

	"I won't give them to him," Fuyuki said.  "I wouldn't 
ever sell a picture of my girlfriend...girlfriends."  He 
sounded a little heated.

	"I know," Yuuki said softly.  "But accidents happen.  
Can you swap out the memory card and lock it in your 
suitcase or something?"

	"Yes," Fuyuki said, taking the camera again.  "Maybe 
I should just erase them."

	"It would be the sensible thing to do," Sagano said.  
"Much as I'd like to have sexy cosplay pics of us."

	"We should be fine if you just swap things.  They 
won't dig through our luggage, right?" Yuuki asked.

	"Yeah," Fuyuki said.  "That would be uncool."

	"We should be fine, then.  So long as they're not on 
the camera."  Yuuki blushed.  "I'd like to see them at a 
decent scale."

	"Oooh, ecchi," Sagano said, idly running a finger 
across the top of Yuuki's chest.  "You make a really good 
me, by the way."

	"It was fun," Yuuki said, smiling a little.  She yawned.  
"We should probably get up and get clean and all that."  
Her stomach rumbled.  "And eat."

	"Let's go, then," Sagano said, then kissed Yuuki 
quickly.  "Give her a kiss for luck, honey.  While we can."

	Fuyuki kissed Yuuki softly, enjoying it, but worrying 
about the future.

***************
	
	Yoshidayama woke up, feeling very confident.  Gonna 
get me some college student sugar today, oh yeah, he 
thought.  Go spy on Harima some, get me some sweetness, 
win one for the home team.  YEAH.

	He hadn't woken up feeling this confident in weeks.  

	Even Harima couldn't bugger things up for him this 
time.

	There was a knock on the door as he was trying to get 
his hair all done up right.  "Come in," he said.

	It was Eri.  Coming to HIM.  BOO YAH.

	He turned, giving her a confident smile.  "Hey, babe, 
ready for me to tell you what everyone's up to?"

	She smiled at him.  "Yes, please."

	He reported everything, from the sausage to the 
gangsters to the ABBA vikings and Suga-Satsuki sex.  The 
gangsters seemed to interest her a lot, and she frowned at 
the ant incident.

	"Okay, can you keep on keeping an eye for me?" she 
asked sweetly.

	"Sure thing, babe," he said.  "Men exist to help out 
women, after all."

	She froze at that a moment, then nodded and said, 
"You've been very helpful."  Then she studied his hair 
curiously.  "How DO you get that to stand up?"

	He grinned.  The women, they WANT me.  "Here, I'll 
show you."

	He carefully showed her the whole process, and she 
watched attentively.  Finally, she said, "I need to get some 
breakfast.  See you later."

	"See ya, babe," he said, watching her butt move as she 
left.

	Once she was gone, he pumped his fist in the air.  
BOO-YAH TWICE.  I am such a sexy bitch, he thought.

	Now time to go see my other honey, he thought.  
YEAH.  That's manly.

**************

	Imadori laid in bed with Yukari sprawled out next to 
him.  She was kicking his leg, but he didn't mind.  He just 
had this vague feeling like he'd forgotten something.  

	Something...horses...police...international...thing.

	International Police Horses didn't seem particularly 
relevant to his party or to Eri or Miko-chin or Lala or 
Yukari-sensei or...or...

	Yukari-sensei.

	In his bed.

	And the sun was up.

	And if she was found here, there would be ALL THE 
DEATH IN THE WORLD.

	He sprang to his feet and jumped over, locking the 
door.

	Seconds later, there was a knock.  "Yo, boss, you 
getting up or what?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Eventually," he said.

	"I'm gonna go over and spy on Harima," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"Just let me know what you find out," Imadori said 
through the door.

	Yukari chose this moment to yawn loudly.

	"What the hell was that?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Yawning," Imadori said, desperately.

	"Weird, it sounded like..."

	Yukari sat up, stretching.  "Hey, baby."

	"What was THAT?" Yoshidayama asked urgently.

	"Nothing, the radio, go spy now!"  Imadori came over 
and silenced Yukari with a kiss.

	"I heard a woman!  You don't have Ichijou in there 
with you, do you?" Yoshidayama asked.

	A shadow came over him, and Harry looked down at 
him.  "Are you accusing my girlfriend of running off to 
sleep with Imadori when he's engaged?"  Thunder and 
lightning crackled.

	"No, no!," Yoshidayama said.  "It's just, Imadori's got 
some skank in his room and..."  No, not skank.  "Some fine 
piece of tail...some bi...WOMAN," he shouted.

	I sure am, Yukari thought as she pulled Imadori down 
on her.

	"You are accusing my sweet Karen of being a skank 
and a piece of tail?" Harry said, voice louder.

	"I...she...BUDDHA IS CALLING ME!"  
Yoshidayama ran with Harry after him.

	Eventually, Imadori eased up on Yukari's lips.  "We 
may have a bit of a problem."

	"I thought I brought enough condoms," Yukari said, 
frowning.  She'd been proud of herself for remembering.

	"No, everyone's getting up and sneaking you out so we 
don't both get killed is going to be hard," Imadori said, 
rising and pacing.

	"Can't we just lounge around here all day?" Yukari 
said.  

	"Unfortunately, no," Imadori said.  "People would get 
suspicious."

	"You could smuggle me out inside a rolled up carpet, 
like with Cleopatra," Yukari said.

	Imadori blinked.  "Hmm, that has potential.  Except 
we don't have one."

	"Smuggle it in, then smuggle me out in it," Yukari 
said.  

	"Ahah!," Imadori said.  "Okay, I have a plan.  Here's 
the plan..."

*************	

	Nyamo-sensei tried to watch someone in the mirrored 
wall she was sitting near as she had breakfast.  "Umino-san, 
he isn't watching me again, is he?"

	Umino frowned over his rice and eggs.  "Half-
watching, half-pretending not to."  He sighed.  "Bastard can 
be a real pain in the ass when he gets his sights on 
something."

	The big, bulky, elegantly clad man in question turned 
to his newspaper, studying the business section as he ate 
steak and eggs.  His clothing said 'businessman'; his body 
said 'I break people'.

	"You know him?" Nyamo-sensei asked.

	"Yeah, he's a big Pachinko Parlor and Game Machine 
tycoon.  Got lucky, had a huge win, used it to somehow 
gamble his way up to a big fortune, then bought out the 
place now that he'd bankrupted it with his winnings, and 
built his fortune from that.  Ruthless and brilliant," Umino 
said.  "And I don't want him looking at you."  He frowned.

	"What's his name?" Nyamo-sensei asked.

	"Tarakawa Kenichi," Umino said.  "He has some 
dealings with our family, which is how I know him.  
Maybe we..."

	Nyamo-sensei's phone rang and she took it.  "Hello?"

	"Hi, Nyamo-chan, I need to ask you a favor," Yukari 
said.

	Yukari asking for favors could NEVER be good.

**************
	
	Harima was up, working on his manga, when Yakumo 
got out of bed.  She came over nervously and put her hands 
on his shoulders.  "Need me to help?" she asked softly.

	"Yes," he said.

	She sat down to work with him, noticing he didn't look 
up at her, just drew obsessively.  He seemed to be drawing 
a huge fight between two of the guy characters.  "Why are 
they fighting?" she asked.

	"Our hero just needs to beat the crap out of someone 
to relieve his stress," Harima said.  "We're going to need an 
outline for the gangster dance arc."

	"There's...a gangster dance arc?" Yakumo asked 
hesitantly.

	He continued to scribble without looking at her.  
"Yeah, I just thought of it."

	"And...you want me to write it?" Yakumo asked.  
"What's it about?"

	"Gangster theme dance," Harima said.  "Everyone 
goes to get their gangster on.  I need you to write it."  His 
hands flew across the page.

	"Just...how I see fit?" she asked hesitantly.

	"Yeah, I trust you," he said.

	She reached out for his thoughts; his head was full of 
the manga, and anything behind that was hidden.  Was he 
shielding himself or just obsessed.  "Is something... 
bothering you?"  she asked softly.

	"I'm fine," he said.

	She got some paper and ignored her hunger to start 
writing.  They might be rivals...for Eri...

	An image of her marrying Boy-Eri hit her mind now.

	Her eyes crossed and she forced it out.  "Do you like 
ABBA?" she asked hesitantly.

	"That's the caveman cartoon, right?  From the US?" 
Harima asked, not looking up as he carefully detailed the 
hero socking one of his love-love rivals in the gut.  

	The door cracked open.  Yakumo saw a wall of Tenma 
thought.  Tenma was trying to see if they were fighting or 
being happy.  She had to make sure Tenma wouldn't fret.

	"The band from Sweden."

	"We have the best band in the world for our party," 
Harima said braggingly, as he now drew the hero grabbing 
the love-love rival by the shirt and spinning.

	Yakumo glanced at the cracked door as she wrote.  
Only one thing to do.  She got up and came around.  "Close 
your eyes."

	He looked up and blinked.  "What?"

	"Close them.  Please," she said softly.

	He closed his eyes and she leaned forward and kissed 
him softly.  He froze up and she felt his brain spin.

	Then she felt Tenma's mind recede.  She kept kissing 
him a while on general principle, then said, "We should get 
breakfast."

	"Not hungry," he said.  

	"Don't you need to work on stuff with your team?" she 
said softly.

	"Later.  We're mostly ready, other than practicing 
some stuff."  He turned back to the manga, which still filled 
his head.

	She felt a little frustrated, but she couldn't give in.  "I'll 
bring you some food."

	"Okay," he said, drawing away.  

	She left quietly, wishing she could tell what he really 
felt, if he was angry or just focused.  Maybe Sara would 
understand.

***************

	"It's probably not wise to wander around naked too 
much once the sun is up," Mikoto told Miki, who was 
ambling about nudely trying to find the shirt she wanted.

	"Yes, but I can't exactly get dressed until I find my 
clothing," Miki said.

	Masahiro shouted from the shower, "I think your blue 
top is in the laundry.  Didn't you wear that the day we got 
here?"

	Hanai was also looking for the clothing he wanted, 
though he had underwear on; he rooted through his suitcase 
like a dog with a bone.  "The door is locked, so there's..."

	The door opened and Akira stuck her head in.  
"Breakfast is served, slowpokes."  Her gaze might have 
lingered on Hanai longer than was strictly necessary.

	Miki shrieked and dove under the bed.

	Mikoto frowned slightly.  Stop staring at my 
boyfriend, she thought.  "Akira, wasn't that locked?"

	"No," Akira said.

	Mikoto would never know if this was true or not.

	"Oh, it's Takano-san," Miki said, peeking out.

	Hanai straightened up, then casually threw a towel 
over Akira's head.  "There's people naked in here."

	"I see," Akira said through the towel.  "See you all at 
breakfast."  She withdrew, still wearing it over her head.

	"Well, great, now I don't have my towel," Hanai said.

	"You can use one of mine," Miki said, coming out and 
stretching.  Mikoto's eyes idly followed the movement.  
"We need better locks."

	"Thanks, Miki.  I think from here on out, I'm 
barricading the door," Hanai grumbled, and returned to 
seeking his clothing.

****************

	Tenma sat with Nara and Karasuma and Jenny and 
Keiichi, while Kasumi and Shinichi wandered around the 
kitchen trying to decide what to eat out of the food which 
Akira and Nara and Tenma and Karasuma had made.

	Keiichi bit into a riceball and felt his mouth ignite.  
Tiny streaks of fire came out until he downed a whole glass 
of apple juice at one gulp.  "What was that?" he mumbled.

	"My special jalapeno mix," Tenma said proudly as she 
mixed rice, scrambled eggs, bits of apple, and ketchup 
together on her plate.  "Mom always added beer for flavor, 
but I couldn't remember which brand."

	Jenny took the riceball and ate it.  Not well made, but 
she kind of liked the weird flavor.  "Hmm, pretty 
interesting."

	Tenma lit up like a happy Christmas tree.  "You like 
it?"

	"Yeah, rice is so bland, it needs flavoring 
desperately," Jenny said.

	"Sweet!  Try my cinnamon rolls!" Tenma said.

	Nara shook his head gently and watched with one eye 
as he worked on his steamed fruit and rice, adding just a 
TOUCH more soy sauce.

	Keiichi stared at the mishapen dark sugary 
monstrosities as Jenny reached for one and picked it up.  
She was about to bite into it when Yoshidayama walked in.  
"Hey, babe, how's it hanging?" he said, plucking up one of 
the rolls so he could casually 'accidentally' touch her hand 
as he did so.

	She smiled a tiny smile and said, "It's hanging pretty 
well.  Let me know how that tastes, okay?"

	He nodded and shoveled it into his mouth, even as 
Keiichi began to stare daggers at him.  His eyes began to 
water.  Smoke came from his ears.  His cheeks swelled and 
he began to stagger.

	"Breathe!  Breathe!" Tenma said, hammering him on 
the back.

	He fell down on the floor.  "Water!"

	Keiichi dumped a cup of water on him.  "Oh wait, did 
you want to drink it?" he said, sounding irritated.  "I'm so 
clumsy."

	"Damn, Keiichi, you shouldn't dump water on people 
in the middle of winter," Shinichi said, shaking his head.

	"It was an accident, really," Keiichi said, sounding 
insincere.

	Yoshidayama sprang up, grabbed a glass of orange 
juice and threw it on Keiichi.  "OOPS."

	Akira walked in, having turned her towel into a 
turban, just in time to see Keiichi stand up.  She had a bad 
feeling.  

	Tenma waved her hands in the air.  "No, don't fight!  It 
was just a string of accidents!  Accidents!"

	"He's not worth your time," Shinichi said from the 
kitchen.

	Kasumi nervously watched.

	Jenny grinned at the situation.  

	Just as Keiichi and Yoshidayama were about to leap at 
each other, Akira said crisply, "STOP."

	They both froze in place, hands reaching for each 
other's throats.

	"Now, now, it's so rude to just throttle each other," 
Akira said to them.  "Real men don't have knockdown 
brawls at breakfast.  If you really must fight, you should 
have a proper duel."  Two pistols slid out of her sleeves.  
"Fortunately, I am always ready for such matters."

	Keiichi's eyes widened.  "Guns?"

	"ROCK!" Yoshidayama said.  "Hell yeah!  Let's settle 
this with a duel."

	Shinichi almost dropped his food on himself.

	Tenma nodded.  "Much more civilized."

	"I...but...guns..." Keiichi babbled.  

	"Well, if you're afraid..." Akira began.

	"I am not afraid!" he snapped.

	Akira said, "Let's eat breakfast, and then you can 
duel."

*********************		

	Eri stared in confusion at Nyamo and Umino as they 
hauled a coffin into the house.  "What the...?"

	"Just disposing of some stuff for Imadori," Umino 
said.

	"Why are you helping HIM?" Eri asked disdainfully.

	"Well, he may become my nephew-in-law," Umino 
said.

	"Not if I can help it," Eri said.

	"Anyway, it'll stink up the house if we don't act 
quickly," Umino said.

	"Oh great, it's not rotting sausage, is it?" Eri asked, 
making a face.

	"Something like that," Umino said before Nyamo 
elbowed him.

	Eri gagged and made a strategic retreat.

**************
	
	Yoshidayama was shorter than Keiichi, but his hair 
was taller.  He was feeling pretty confident, especially 
since Keiichi was sweating bullets.  

	"Okay, count ten and fire," Akira said.  "Start walking, 
count ten, and then fire," she clarified.

	Everyone had come out to watch.  Many looked rather 
worried, especially Miki and Kasumi.  

	They began to walk, counting off, pacing step by step.

	They were at six when Hanai realized something.  
"Aren't they both going to end up rather close to the edge?"  

	The two were standing on a little jutting out of land 
which dropped off into skiing slopes moderately sharply.  

	"You are wise," Akira said.

	The two fell short of going over the edge, spun, and 
fired.  The guns had a massive kick, they found out, and 
both of them toppled off the edge, the paintballs they'd just 
fired passing over their heads as each now tumbled down 
the slope, accumulating their own snowball.

	"Looks like a draw to me," Akira said.

	"Keiichi!" Jenny shouted and skiied off after him.

	Tenma frowned, then skiied after Yoshidayama.  He 
had no one else to help him, and she felt sorry for him.

	Karasuma saw this, nodded, and skiied after her.

	Harima blinked.  "Why's she helping Yoshidayama?" 
he asked.

	"Tenma-chan has a very kind heart," Akira said.  
"Kinder than mine.  We're all ready for the party, right?"

	"We can't decorate yet, so yes," Harima said.

	"Then let's ski."

***************

	"We should probably let her out of the coffin," Nyamo 
said as they drew closer to her hotel.

	"Do we have to?" Umino asked.

	"Do you want to try to explain to the hotel staff why 
we're bringing a coffin in?" Nyamo asked.

	"We can do it when we get there," he said.  That 
would buy a FEW more minutes, anyway.

****************

	Mr. Tawaraya tried jumping up and clinging to the 
two wheels they'd attached to the pipe.  They came loose 
and fell on him.

	Mr. Hanai frowned.  "We may need more training 
montages."

	"We go to plan B," Mr. Gonzales said.

	Mr. Tawaraya had a bad feeling.  "What's that?" he 
asked from the ground.

	"We do a marathon of ALL of my movies.  Either 
you'll soak up my skills or your brain will explode," Mr. 
Gonzales said.  He clapped his hands.  "But I'm sure I can 
keep your brain FULL but intact."

	At least some part of me will stay intact, Mr. 
Tawaraya mumbled to himself.

****************	

	Yuuki's phone rang and she answered it.  "Hello?"

	"Hi, it's me, Mai," Mai said.

	"Hi!  How are you?" Yuuki asked.

	"I'm doing great," Mai said.  "We're loving it here in 
Hawaii.  Just thought I'd check in with our new class 
president."  She sounded a little envious.

	"We're going to be performing again at a New Year's 
party and Sawachika-sama is looking into getting us a 
record contract!," Yuuki said excitedly.

	"Wow, that's great," Mai said, only a little envious.  
"Good luck."

	"Yeah," Yuuki said, smiling.  "How are you and 
Tougo doing?"

	"It's wonderful just being ourselves," Mai said, 
smiling.  "Any romantic luck for you?"

	Yuuki blushed.  Don't mention threesome.  Don't 
mention threesome.  "I didn't have a threesome," she said, 
then blushed more.

	Mai laughed.  "I wouldn't expect you to.  So no 
prospects?"

	"Still looking," Yuuki said.  "Are you staying in 
Hawaii to the end of vacation?"

	"Yes," Mai said.

	"It's kinda cold here, but there's going to be three big 
theme parties."  Yuuki explained the plan.

	"Sounds like fun," Mai said.  "Well, Tougo and I are 
about to go out for the evening.  Have fun!"

	Yuuki smiled.  "I will."  I just need to get used to 
keeping my mouth shut.

**************

	Suga looked over at Asou as they worked on fjord 
creation.  "What's wrong?"

	"Nothing," Asou said.

	Suga frowned.  This was the Asou nothing which was 
always something.  "We didn't make too much noise, did 
we?"

	"No."  Dig, dig, dig.

	"Are you mad at me?" Suga asked, leaning on his 
shovel.

	"No," Asou said, continuing to dig.  His voice was 
curt.

	Curiosity, compassion, and a certain suicidal instinct 
warred in Suga's mind.  "Well, we had a great time," he 
said.  "Once we stopped maiming each other, anyway."  He 
laughed ruefully.  "She's a good wrestler."

	"Not surprising," Asou grunted, digging out a rock.  
"You gonna work or gab?"

	Suga sighed.  "Work."  He wished he could do 
something to help.  But what?

****************

	Sara pricked her finger with a needle as she worked, 
gave a tiny cry, then instinctively put the finger in her 
mouth.

	Yakumo looked over at her; she could see Sara's 
hidden turmoil, the tangled thoughts she was hiding behind 
a smiling exterior, but she didn't know what to do.  It would 
only embarrass Sara to try to comfort her when she hid her 
pain.

	Osaka continued to sew her costume, blissfully 
unaware she was slowly sewing her foot inside it.

	Sara smiled brightly at Yakumo.  "I'm fine," she said.  
"I won't sleep a thousand years or anything."

	"Okay," Yakumo said nervously, and went back to her 
work, trying to help.

**************

	Eri answered her phone.  "Hello?"

	"This is Tarakawa Kenichi," the man on the other end 
said.  "I understand from your mother that your family is 
hosting three New Years' parties, correct?"

	"Yes, sir," she said, trying to remember which of a ton 
of business associates he might be.  

	"Each organized by a different one of your friends, 
correct?" he asked.

	"Yes," Eri said.  "Harima Kenji, Tsukamoto Yakumo, 
Imadori Kyousuke."

	"Ahh, the Imadori boy, he's your fiancee, correct?" 
Tarakawa-san asked.

	"Yes, sir," Eri said warily.  "Not by my choice."

	"And the other two...school friends?" he asked.

	"Yes, sir," she said.

	"Do you think any of them would find Pachinko 
machines useful for their party?  I have some available, 
even at this short notice."  He sounded quite hopeful.

	"I don't know.  Do you have any sausage-themed 
machines?" Eri asked, trying to not sound too bitter.

	"..."

	"I think 'Vikings' and 'Gangsters' are the other 
themes."

	"THOSE, yes.  Sausage...no."  Tarakawa-san sounded 
vaguely disturbed.  "Sausage."

	"I can give you their cell numbers," Eri said.

	"I would appreciate that," he said.  

	She gave him the numbers, they made a little small 
talk, and he hung up.

	She felt somewhat relieved that he was unlikely to end 
up helping Imadori out.

	Sausage, HAH.

*************

	"Yes, we have six Doujibirion models," Tarakawa-san 
said to Imadori.

	"SWEET!" Imadori said.  "Do you have a showplace 
or something?  I'll need to inspect them."

	Tarakawa-san excitedly rubbed his hands.  "Yes, I'll 
send someone to pick you up."

	"This will be great," Imadori said.

	Tarakawa-san rubbed his hand again.  This would 
definitely be great.

	KA-CHING!!!!

************

	"Oh, I don't think we have the money in our budget," 
Yakumo said.  "But thank you for asking," she continued.

	"Well, it wouldn't hurt to come look, would it?", 
Tarakawa asked.

	"That's true," Yakumo said.

	Gotcha, he thought.

************

	"So you represent the Tarakawa Pachinko company?" 
Harima said.

	"Yes," the man on the other end said.  "We do 
business with the Sawachikas.  We're looking to rent out 
machines and we have some matching your party's theme?"

	"Hold on, let me get my business manager," Harima 
said.

	The man on the other end sounded favorably 
impressed.  "So you got an accountant?"

	"Someone has to keep track of the money," Harima 
said.  "That's just good sense on a high budget thing like 
this."

	"Well," the man said.  "Very wise of you."

	"Hold on...  AKIRA-SAN, I NEED YOU TO 
NEGOTIATE FOR ME!"

	Akira came over to Harima.  "What is it?"

	"Gangster-themed Pachinko," Harima said.

	That could be valuable, Akira thought.  She took the 
phone.  "Let us negotiate."

	Distantly, the man on the other end felt a faint jolt of 
electricity up and down his spine.  He suddenly had a bad 
feeling.

**************

	Yoshidayama woke up on a bed with Tenma hovering 
over him.  "Do you feel better?" she asked.

	"I feel better," he said.  Very dry, warm and...he was 
naked under the covers.  Except for some underwear.  
"Who stripped me?"

	"Hanai-san helped me," Tenma said.  "Here, soup."

	She passed him a bowl of soup and he began to eat.  A 
few seconds later, the flavor combined with the idea of 
Hanai fondling his naked body hit him at once, knocking 
Yoshidayama out again.

	Tenma caught the soup.  "Must need more rest."

***************

	Mr. Tarakawa looked over the agreement.  "She ate 
you for breakfast, Hayasaka."

	Hayasaka laughed nervously.  He was short and thin 
with close-cropped black hair and brown eyes.  "She's 
good."

	"So she's his girlfriend?" Mr. Tarakawa asked.

	"It would appear so.  She certainly looks out for his 
interests vigorously," Hayasaka replied.

	"Interesting.  Most men go for someone like their 
mother.  Well, we shall see," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "Now go 
and pick up our chumps.  It's time to make up for our losses 
here."

	"Yes, sir!"

***************

	Buddha studied the machines stolidly; they looked 
pretty good to him, but pachinko was outside his area of 
expertise.  Imadori had sent him because he knew Buddha 
would be cautious and because Buddha knew more about 
handling than money than Imadori, even if he wasn't an 
expert.

	"Now, this machine, we rent it out at reasonable 
rates," Hayasaka said, waving his hand in front of the 
Yellow Doujibirion machine.  "And of course, we can get 
you one for each of the five colors."

	"The paint job is very nice, good representation of 
Yellow's hobbies and strengths," Buddha said slowly, 
toggling the switches.  "Tensile strength is good."

	Yakumo looked over at Asou, who had insisted on 
coming with her.  She could see him thinking very strongly 
'YAKUMO, READ HIS MIND, SEE IF HE'S GOING TO 
CHEAT US'.  

	She blinked, then realized everyone who had gone 
with her to the other world knew.  And this man...he 
seemed honest enough.  So she studied him; his mind was 
focused on the three of them, making it easier for her.

	She could see that he was charging them twice as 
much as he would charge a regular customer, as he 
expected that they wouldn't know any better.  		

	Hayasaka said, "The rate for that is only..."

	"You normally rent them to corporate parties for a day 
for 30,000 yen, right?" Yakumo asked.  "Plus the 5,000 yen 
pickup and dropoff fee, correct?"

	Hayasaka froze up, turning grey and ashen.  "Why 
yes, but..."

	"And I'm sure the Sawachika family qualifies for such 
rates," Asou said, smiling just a little.

	"Well, yes, they..." Hayasaka began.

	"Also, you shouldn't forget the standard group 
discount for renting five or more machines at a time," 
Yakumo said, plucking that out of his head.  "That takes it 
down twenty percent."

	She glanced over at Asou, who was thinking very 
loudly.  MAKE SURE HE THINKS THEY'RE ALL IN 
GOOD SHAPE AND THAT HE WON'T TRY SLIPPING 
ANY RUN DOWN ONES ON US.

	Yakumo nodded.  

	Hayasaka took a deep breath.  "Well, yes, of course, 
we hadn't gotten to..."

	"And the theme prize assortments, there's discounts by 
volume for favored customers, correct?" Yakumo asked.  I 
wonder if Akira-sempai feels like this, she thought.

	"Yes, the theme prize assortments, if you'd like..." 
Hayasaka said.

	Buddha looked at Yakumo curiously.

	Asou grinned wider.  

	Yakumo said, "We're going to need a mix of ABBA 
CDs added to that, and also I'm going to need to inspect 
them for quality, as we're holding a party where everyone is 
a multimillionaire, and it would, of course, reflect poorly 
on your company if any of your usual high-rate customers 
found themselves saddled with prizes not up to the standard 
they expect."  It was strangely easy to pretend to be Akira-
sempai.  She could feel her voice taking on Akira-sempai's 
crispness, and she wondered if her face showed any 
emotion.

	Hayasaka eyed her uneasily.  "We can go and examine 
them once we finish with the machines."

	Yakumo nodded, her posture changing.  Asou looked 
down at her slightly uneasily.  Buddha raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, the machines," she said, striding forward down the 
line.  

	As she approached one of them, she could feel 
something, an emotion...turning and glancing at Hayasaka, 
she could see he was nervous about her approaching the 
Blue Doujibirion machine.  

	"That's an older model," Hayasaka said hastilly.

	She tried it out and noticed the balls came down 
unevenly distributed, so she pulled out her keychain, 
holding it near the machine.  It swung gently, then tilted 
towards the side which absorbed more balls.  "This thing 
has a magnet in it," she said.

	Hayasaka turned to ice.

	"Which I'm sure the gaming commission wouldn't 
approve of," Yakumo said.  She knew how to handle this, 
how Akira-sempai would handle it.  Everyone had their 
dirty little secrets, after all.

	Hayasaka laughed nervously.

	"Strange to find such a thing in a reputable company," 
Asou said.

	"Strange indeed," Buddha said, looming next to 
Hayasaka, seeming somehow even larger and bulkier than 
usual.

	"You...wouldn't happen to have an older sister, by any 
chance?" Hayasaka asked nervously.

	"I love my big sister very much," Yakumo said 
calmly.

	"Are she and Harima-san...close?" Hayasaka asked 
warily.

	"Big sister and Kenji-kun are very close," Yakumo 
said, nodding.

	"I see," Hayasaka said.  I am SO DEAD.

*************

	Yoshidayama sat up in bed again.  "Sorry about that, 
Tsukamoto-san."

	She handed the soup to him.  "Here you go, Yoshi-
san."

	He sniffed it; it smelled different than the last soup, 
and yet...  Well, he was starving.  He began eating, and 
quickly came to regret it as his mouth caught fire.

	After a glass of water, he asked, "Do you think they're 
gay for each other?"

	"What?" Tenma asked in confusion.

	"Well, we know Hanai-san and Suou-san are sleeping 
with those two college students.  So, do you think they just 
switch off or does everyone sleep with everyone at once?" 
Yoshidayama asked.

	Tenma's eyes widened.  "You mean...like..."  Her 
brain drew on her own sexual experience (even it was all in 
the form of dreams she and Karasuma shared with their 
special bond) to form a daisy chain in her mind.

	She felt brain cells die (not good when so few worked) 
and clutched her head.  "Masahiro-kun and Hanai-
kun...kissing...taking shirts off..."  She grew redder and 
redder.

	Yoshidayama suddenly regretted bringing the issue up 
as his mental image of Miki-Mikoto yuri was being 
drowned out by Tenma's yaoi fantasy.  NOT the plan at all.

	"And then Karasuma walks in..." Tenma babbled.

	It was time to run, Yoshidayama thought.  Except his 
legs didn't want to work.  BASTARDS, he thought.  
WORK, YOU STUPID LEGS.

	"And slowly, Masahiro begins to unbutton Karasuma's 
shirt, while Hanai takes him into his manly arms..."  
Tenma's eyes had become hearts while she quivered, her 
voice growing more heated.

	Yoshidayama guzzled the soup in the hopes it would 
knock him unconscious.

	The last thing he heard as the darkness closed in was 
Tenma saying, "But wait, a new challenger enters the ring, 
seeking Karasuma's love, it's Nara-kun!"

	It was a tiny, though only a TINY comfort that his 
dreams were full of Nara in drag rather than a half-naked, 
rose bearing Nara in just boxer shorts...

	TINY.

**************

	"Tarakawa-sama, Hayasaka-san is trying to commit 
suicide again," his secretary, Kobayashi Meiko, said.  

	He looked up from his newspaper.  He was supposed 
to be working, but he always found that hard during the 
holiday season.  "You did tie his blade firmly so he can't 
draw it, right?"

	"Yes, sir.  I wasn't in the girl Scouts for nothing.  But 
he's going to probably make himself throw up on the plush 
carpeting if he tries to stab himself with the scabbard one 
more time," she said.

	Tarakawa sighed.  "What happened?"

	"Apparently, he lost a duel with someone's younger 
sister or something," she said.

	Tarakawa frowned.  "Well."  He got up from the desk.  
"This will bear further investigation."

	"Yes, sir."  She nodded, shaking her curly blonde hair, 
then followed him out.

****************

	"Hey, you okay?" Satsuki asked Sara softly.

	"I'm fine," she said, looking up from her sewing.

	"You're smiling too much," Satsuki said.

	Sara cringed slightly.  "Is it so easy to see through 
me?"

	"Yes," Satsuki said.

	Sara sighed.  "I don't know.  I may have mistaken 
Imadori for God."

	"You should confront him," Satsuki said.

	Sara gulped.  "I'm not good at confrontation."

	Satsuki dragged her to her feet.  "I'll help."

	Half-protesting, Sara was dragged down the hallway 
to where Imadori's crew was working.  Satsuki banged on 
the door.

	Imadori answered.  "Yo?" He stood to block any good 
view of the room.

	Satsuki dragged him out into the hallway and closed 
the door.  "Imadori-sempai, did you pretend to be God?"

	"I've never claimed to be God," he said, sounding a 
little nervous.

	"You've made Sara-san very unhappy," Satsuki said.  
She elbowed Sara.

	Sara just looked up nervously at Imadori.  "Was it 
you?" she asked softly.

	Imadori stared at her, then he slumped slightly as his 
eyes widened.  "You look really unhappy.  Asou didn't turn 
you down, did he?"

	"I can't...I don't know...I thought I knew, but...it was a 
lie, wasn't it?"

	"I gave you my honest advice," Imadori said, his voice 
turning serious.  "I don't know much about religion, but 
isn't your god supposed to love his children?  Do you think 
he'd want you to be unhappy?"

	"Not everything we want is good for us," Sara said, 
staring at the floor.  

	"If you think it isn't good for you, why did you listen 
to me in the first place?" Imadori asked.

	I probably shouldn't stay here and listen if she's ready 
to take over talking for herself, Satsuki told herself.

	But she didn't leave.

	"I want to...with him...," Sara said.

	"So you just wanted confirmation to follow your 
instincts?" Imadori asked, his voice a touch sharp.

	Sara stared at the floor.

	"I wasn't out to trick you, Sarah.  I gave you the best 
advice I could," Imadori said quietly.  

	"Yes, but it was in accordance with you being a horn-
dog," Satsuki said.  "Sempai."  The last word was strangely 
similar to 'bitch' in tone.

	"You let me think you were God!" Sara protested, 
suddenly growing angry.

	"You wanted someone else to tell you what to do 
instead of following your heart or your mind!  So I gave 
you WHAT YOU WANTED," Imadori fired back.  "You 
want to make love to Asou and we both know it."

	Sara turned red.  "I...I mean..."

	"I never said I was God and how did you not 
recognize my voice?  It's not like I was using electronics or 
something!", Imadori said, his voice heated.  "I..."

	Suddenly, he deflated.  "I hate getting angry," he said 
softly.  "I'm sorry I deceived you," he said.  "But I still 
think you should make love to Asou.  You love him and he 
loves you and isn't that how a relationship is supposed to 
be?"  His voice was tight, but soft.  "Shouldn't you find out 
what this side of things is like before you give it up 
forever?  I only wanted to help you."

	He's probably trying to manipulate her with an act, 
Satsuki thought suspiciously.  "If you're trying to..."

	"I swear, I only am trying to help," Imadori said.  
"She's too flat-chested for me to try and seduce her or 
anything."

	"Flat-chested?  I have bigger breasts than Karen-
sempai and you slept with her!" Sara said.  Now she was 
getting mad again.  

	He put his hands on her breasts.  "See, I just don't get 
a thrill from this."

	"HOLY FIRE!!!!!!!!"

	The hallway would need a new paintjob after that.

************

	Suga blinked at his girlfriend, who was dragging an 
unconscious Sara down the hallway; Satsuki now had pale 
hair (it looked almost bleached white) and a heavy tan.  
"Going Ko-Gal on me?" he asked.

	"Sara is a human tanning salon," Satsuki mumbled.

	"Hmm, looks pretty good, nice and even..."  He looked 
down at Sara.  "She's still pretty pale."

	"Holy fire bad," Satsuki said, now coming over and 
resting her head on Suga's shoulder.  "Where's Asou?  I 
have to give him his girlfriend back."

	Suga picked Sara up and threw her over one shoulder.  
"He's still off doing business negotiations.  I'll just toss her 
on his bed."

	"Okay," Satsuki said.  "I'm going to go take a bath."

	"Want to do some skiing after that?" Suga asked.

	"Sounds good to me."

**************
	
	Yoshidayama felt like his brain was on fire; his head 
ached on waking up, and he found Tenma had fallen asleep 
and fallen onto the bed and was now sprawled across his 
legs, mumbling.  "Asou kisses Suga, inch by inch up his 
legs..."

	This made his brain hurt more.  If she's hypnotized me 
to turn gay or something, I'm gonna have to kill her, he 
thought.  Also, she was drooling on the sheets, and through 
them onto his leg.

	He reached to try to pull her off his legs, and then 
heard movement.  He tried to ignore it, but she was 
clinging to the bed ferociously and he had to shake her and 
then...

	Footsteps in the room.  A man's shadow across the 
bed.

	Yoshidayama felt a chill go up his spine.  It's Harima, 
come to kill me, he thought.  For no good reason at all.

	He looked up, then relaxed.  It was just freaky 
Karasuma.

	"Satsuki and Sara, seeing their boyfriends make out, 
can't help it and start making out themselves..." Tenma 
mumbled.  

	Karasuma looked at Yoshidayama's hands, which felt 
oddly warm and his brain throbbed more.  Yoshidayama 
pulled his hands off her.  "She fell over on me while I was 
asleep!  I didn't do nothing!" he said frantically, feeling the 
power of Karasuma's stare.

	Karasuma nodded.  "I know."  He came over and 
began trying to pry Tenma loose, but she tightened her grip.  

	He pried harder, and now Tenma curled around 
Yoshidayama's legs like some sort of tightening socket 
wrench, wrapping the sheets around him tightly.

	Karasuma now put one foot on the bed and grabbed 
Tenma.  "Yoshidayama-san, you must grab the bedposts 
and hold on."

	He nodded dumbly and held onto them, reaching back.	

	Soon, Karasuma had both his feet pressed against the 
endboard of the bed, up off the floor, himself folded in half 
as he tried to pry Tenma loose.  Yoshidayama was pulled 
into the air with Tenma and the sheets wrapped around his 
legs.  

	"There is no choice now but for Keiichi and 
Yoshidayama to settle their differences with naked mud 
wrestling..." Tenma mumbled.

	Yoshidayama said, "WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT 
FANTASY IS THAT?"  He was about to bring his fists 
down on her to wake her up; he got his fists halfway there, 
then realized hitting her in front of her boyfriend would be 
a disaster.

	Then he realized he'd let go of the posts.

	Karasuma's eyes widened slightly, but he couldn't 
react fast enough; he'd continued pulling.  The result was 
that he flung Yoshidayama over his head, with Tenma still 
attached; tumbling, they went out the door, across the hall, 
and through the door on the other side.

	Inside the other room, Jenny was helping Keiichi get 
up off the bed, just in time to see Yoshidayama and Tenma 
tumbling his way.  Tenma mumbled, "Overcome by 
passion, Keiichi tears Yoshidayama's pants off and...wait, 
he's already naked..."

	Then she and Yoshidayama crashed into Jenny and 
Keiichi, resulting in a four-way knockout.  

	Karasuma stared, not sure what to do.

	The noise attracted Akira, who quickly studied the 
situation.  "..."

	"Exactly," Karasuma said.

	"I suggest you grab her and run," Akira said.

	Karasuma strode in, took his girlfriend, and ran.

	Akira shook her head and went back to work.

**************

	Buddha found a now heavily tanned with paler than 
usual hair Imadori lying in the hallway.  He picked him up 
and hauled him back to headquarters.  

	"Woah, Imadori's gone ko-gal," one of the team said.

	"I think someone blasted him with ultraviolet light or 
something," Buddha said.

	Imadori moaned and sat up.  "Ugh.  How did it go, 
Buddha?"

	"Yakumo-sama negotiated us a better deal."  He 
passed the contract to Imadori.

	-sama?, Imadori wondered, then studied.  "Holy cow, 
you had them for breakfast."

	"Lunch, really, and Yakumo-sama did the heavy 
lifting.  I just made a few mechanical observations," 
Buddha said.

	"Huh, she helped you out?"

	"Yes.  By reducing the businessman's proxy to 
quivering terror," Buddha said.

	"Hmm, I should send her a thank-you," Imadori said.  
"By the way, I have a piece of advice for everyone in our 
club."

	They all studied him carefully.

	"Don't EVER touch Sara's breasts."  Imadori shook his 
head.  Poor Asou, she'll probably burn him to death 
instinctively.

	"Why touch such small breasts?" another faceless 
minion asked.

	"They are full of HOLY FIRE," Imadori said.

	"Isn't that a reason to NOT touch them?"

	"HOLY FIRE," Imadori repeated.  "Just avoid them, 
and pray for Asou's survival."

	"So, I think we are ready for the party; we just have to 
decorate when the time comes," Buddha said.

	"Good, I can lay down more false intel.  Time to make 
a sausage sandwich," Imadori said.

	Several guys snickered and Imadori grumbled as he 
moved out.

*************
	
	"Hey!" Buddy Christ said to Sara as she woke up.

	She blinked and rubbed her eyes.  Why am I in a bed?  
And why is Buddy Christ standing on it?  "Are you another 
of Imadori-sempai's bad jokes?"

	"No," he said.

	"But if you were, you'd say that, to lure me into a false 
sense of security."  She sounded rather bitter.

	"I'm a humorous version of your Lord and Savior.  
You can trust me, because Kevin Smith isn't writing my 
dialogue this time," Buddy Christ said.

	"You didn't have any dialogue; you were a one-shot 
gag," Sara pointed out.  "God was Alanis Morrisette in that 
movie."

	"I can be Alanis if it helps," Buddy Christ said.  "I 
wasn't planning to sing."

	Sara rubbed her forehead.  "I just want to know what 
to do."

	"Well, that's your conscience's job," Buddy Christ 
said.  "In the end, you know the arguments for and against 
already.  You have to make that decision yourself, not just 
ask others to make it for you.  Take control of your life, 
whatever road you choose."

	"I just don't know..." she began.

	"Then think about it.  I have a poker game with 
Buddha, Mohammed, and Zoraster that starts in five 
minutes, but I'm always here if you need me," he said.  He 
shook his body to wave farewell, since he was rigid and 
couldn't move his arms independently.

	"Thank you," Sara said, watching him fade, and 
wondering again if she was awake or dreaming.

	She laid back and sank into sleep, wrapped in her 
thoughts.

***************

	"So, do you think we'll get some action, or are things 
likely to be peaceful?" Sagano asked Eri, staring at her 
cards.

	Sagano, Eri, Yuuki, and Fuyuki were playing spades 
again, with Sagano and Eri paired off against Yuuki and 
Fuyuki.  

	"I bid three," Eri said, as she had three kings and some 
high spades.  She could have gone five, but with Sagano, 
you had to underbid so her overbid would add up correctly 
with you.

	"Four," Fuyuki said nervously but quickly.

	"Action?" Eri asked.

	Sagano said, "You know, a good riot at the parties," 
then studied her hand.  "Four," she said.

	Yuuki looked confidently at her cards; Eri had noticed 
Yuuki seemed less hesitant than usual.  "Four."  She 
scribbled on the scorepad.  "That's eight for us and seven 
for them.  Someone MUST go set and we may all die."  But 
she seemed fine with that.

	Eri licked her lips and resolved to be cautious, but not 
too cautious.  "I only want a riot at Imadori and Yakumo's 
parties," she said.

	"So you can have sweet, sweet love with Harima-san 
at his party?"  Sagano asked, throwing out the three of 
clubs.  

	Fuyuki sighed and tossed out the ten of clubs.  

	Eri frowned.  If she threw the king, Yuuki might take 
it.  But maybe she could lure out the Ace with her Jack...  
"Yes," she said, distracted.  She grimaced and threw out the 
Jack of clubs.  

	Yuuki slapped the Queen of clubs down and took it.  
"Good luck.  Yakumo-san seems to have a pretty strong 
grip on him."

	She swept up the cards and put them in place, then 
tried to decide what to lead.  Finally, she led with the Ace 
of Hearts (to which Eri had the King.)

	Sagano looked thoughtful, then flicked a card into the 
air.  It toppled to the ground, the two of spades.  "MINE," 
she said, grinning.

	Well, well, Eri thought.  "If I can't take on an 
underclassman and win, I don't deserve to keep on living," 
Eri said.  

	"Well, if you need my help for anything," Sagano said, 
"I like to smooth the course of love."  She tossed out the 
Jack of Diamonds.

	Fuyuki quickly slapped down the Ace.  "Good luck, 
Sawachika-san."

	Eri studied her cards.  This was her junk suit.  She 
tossed out the six.  

	Yuuki slapped down the five of spades.  "Mine."  She 
swept up the trick.  

	The game continued, but the camera did not...

***************	
	
	Sara woke up to the feeling of Asou gently rocking her 
shoulders.  "Hey, what happpened?" he asked softly.

	"I kind of overdid it with the Holy Fire," she 
mumbled.  "Instant suntan.  This is going to look awful 
when it starts peeling."

	"You look very cute," he said, trying to be reassuring.

	"Thank you," she said softly.  

	"Who got burned?" he asked.

	"I fried Imadori for lying to me," Sara said.

	Asou smiled.  "That's my girlfriend."  He kissed her 
forehead.  "Vengeance belongs to your God, right?"

	Sara laughed softly, then said, "Well, I did a lot of 
talking to God and gods and old stuffed toys and anime 
characters in my sleep."

	"Did they have any useful advice?," Asou asked 
lightly.

	"You like Yakumo-chan, don't you?" Sara asked.

	Is she asking me to have a threesome with her and 
Yakumo?  Maybe they are doing it, he thought nervously.  
"I...uh...she's okay," he mumbled.

	"She's very dear to me, like Suga-san is to you," Sara 
said.  "You'd fight for him, wouldn't you?"

	"Yeah, I always have his back," Asou said, wondering 
where this was going.

	"You don't mind that I'm close to her, do you?" Sara 
asked softly.

	Asou blinked.  "No, of course not.  You don't mind 
Ryuuhei-kun, do you?"

	She reached up nervously to brush his cheek with a 
hand.  "Of course not."

	"I love you," Sara said softly to Asou.  "I have to 
know...I want to know what it's like.  With you.  Imadori-
sempai was right, I need to explore my options before I 
decide my life once and for all.  That's what the founder of 
our order did, before she found Christ."  She licked her lips 
nervously.  "Though I won't be going THAT far."

	"Alright," Asou said.  "I just don't want to mess 
anything up for you."

	"Well, the advantage of being Catholic is that we can 
do penance if we do screw up," Sara said.  "Which isn't 
supposed to be a  license to screw up, but it does give you a 
safety net."  She reached down and began to unbutton her 
outer shirt.  "I just hope my skin isn't too tender," she said 
softly.

	"Well, we can wait if we have to," Asou said, going 
over and locking the door.  "I hope they won't need us."

	"They'll have to wait," Sara said, "But check the 
ceiling."

	Asou nodded got on a chair and lifted a tile.  The 
crawlspace was empty except for a handful of roaches.  No 
danger from roaches.  "All clear."

	"Then come on down so I can...strip you," Sara said 
nervously.

	There was a banging on the door and Suga shouted, 
"Hey, you guys wanna come ski with us?"

	"We're busy!" Asou shouted as he began to take his 
shirt off, hoping there would be no holy fire tonight.  

	"Have fun storming the castle!" Suga shouted, then 
walked off, laughing.

	"Storming the castle?" Sara asked.

	"I intend my taking of the castle to be more like a 
gentle spring rain," Asou said.  "Once you get down to your 
underwear, lie down and I'll give you a massage."

	"Oooh, massage," she said, smiling.

	She made little happy noises as he went to work on 
her.  Slow and easy, he told himself.  Just like the book.  
He'd never heard of 'Ohtori Akio' before he read it, but the 
advice certainly seemed to be working so far...

	He hoped his luck would keep up.

****************

	Sagano tried to focus on her cards, but she had a bit of 
a weird feeling.  "Uhh...I bid eight," she said.

	"EIGHT?"  Eri asked.

	"Eight," Sagano said idly, trying to figure out why her 
brain felt like it was vibrating.  

	"Err...uh..."  Fuyuki turned his cards upside down.  
"This doesn't help.  I guess I go...uh...one."

	Eri studied her cards.  In theory, I could bid four, she 
thought.  So either we have everything good in the 
universe, or Sagano is on crack.

	'Sagano is on crack' was usually the answer.

	"I bid one," Eri said, just to be cautious.

	"Four," Yuuki said, taking her glasses off and 
beginning to clean them with a cloth.

	"Is it just me or is something going on?" Sagano 
asked.

	"I do feel a little weird," Yuuki said.

	"And I," Fuyuki said.  "Maybe we all need an aspirin 
or something."

	Eri frowned.  "I don't feel anything weird."  She tried 
to decide if risking something apocalyptically magical was 
worth it.  But probably they all overbid and wanted an 
excuse to weasel out.  "Whoever has the 3, lead."

	Fuyuki tossed out the three of clubs.  "Maybe it's a 
high frequency noise; I can hear wider frequencies than 
some people."

	Eri threw out the ten of clubs.  "Well, I feel nothing."

	Sagano sniffed the air.  "Do I smell roses?"

	"I certainly do," Fuyuki said. 

	"And me, this time," Eri said.

	Yuuki finished polishing her glasses and threw the 
Jack of Clubs out.  "Go ahead, Megumi-kun, I know you 
want to."

	"ACE OF CLUBS TIME!" Sagano shouted, slamming 
it down.  "At least it doesn't smell of sausage, this time."

	Eri wrinkled her nose.  "So true."

	Sagano took the trick, cackling.

	Yakumo now walked up, looking serious.  "Have you 
seen Sara-chan?" she asked.

	"I think she's napping," Eri said.  There was something 
weird...weirder...about Yakumo.  But what?

	Fuyuki said, "I think Asou went to see her."

	"Ahh, so they are probably having sex," Yakumo said 
in an unusually crisp manner.

	Fuyuki and Sagano both fell over.  Yuuki turned to 
face Yakumo, looking at her curiously.

	Eri's jaws dropped.  "So blunt," she mumbled.

	"It's about time," Yakumo said.  "Well, I should go 
and adjust my budget records, anyway."

	She was about to go when Eri realized what was going 
on.  "Were you pretending to be Akira earlier by any 
chance?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said simply.

	Eri tried to decide whether to intervene or if she ought 
to just let Yakumo run on like this until bed.  Tenma would 
fret if her sister was acting weird, though.  "You should go 
see Tenma," Eri said.  "I haven't seen her all day."

	"I will attend efficiently to my sister's needs, then," 
Yakumo said, then headed out.

	"The hell?" Sagano said once Yakumo was gone.

	"Cosplay overdose, I think," Eri said.  "Okay, GAME 
ON."

************

	Harima tried to pay attention to Akira's report on the 
business deal, but the numbers were kicking his ass.  "So, 
in conclusion?" he said desperately.

	"That was agenda item three of twelve," Akira said.

	So fucked, Harima thought.  "Okay, moving on to 4?"

	Yakumo stuck her head in.  "Sempai, have you seen 
my sister?"

	"Karasuma has her," Akira said.  

	"Thank you," Yakumo said calmly, then turned to 
Harima, who she now draped herself over.  "How is my 
little snuggle-wuggums?"

	Harima froze up.  What the hell is a 'snuggle-
wuggums'?  Why is Yakumo-san acting so weird?  He 
could feel his entire body lock up tightly.

	Akira's eyes narrowed slightly.  Do I really look like 
that?

	Yakumo began running a hand up and down Harima's 
chest, smiling a wicked smile as he sat frozen, jaws agape.  
"Oh, the things I will do to you tonight, you'll never forget 
them."

	Akira knew the symptoms from years of knowing 
Tenma.  Cosplay overdose.  But why me, she wondered.  
She frowned.  Yakumo doesn't have Tenma's level of 
resistance to this sort of thing; it's dangerous for her.  But 
how to snap her out of it...

	Harima babbled something incoherent.

	Akira said, "Kenji-kun and I are going over his 
business plan."

	"That's nice," Yakumo said.  Fondle, fondle.

	I am not THAT bad, Akira thought.  Right?

	Harima continued to stare, paralyzed.

	"We need privacy," Akira said.  "Since you're 
competing against him."

	"Compet...but I'm...."  Yakumo froze up as sanity 
dawned.  Then she blushed.  "Oh dear."  She turned and ran 
off.

	"Should I..." Harima managed to say.

	"Let her cool down a bit," Akira said.  "We have nine 
more items to go."

	Oh boy...

****************

	Asou felt his head swim a little; he'd definitely used 
too much rose-scented massage oil, though Sara seemed to 
really, really be enjoying it.  She'd liked the rose petals that 
he'd scattered around as well.  But his nose was starting to 
revolt.  

	If I pass out before we get anywhere, I'm going to be 
very annoyed, he thought.  He'd at least managed to get 
Sara down to her underwear.  She had a nice body, if not a 
fantastic one; he wouldn't mind if she was a little more 
busty, but she was pretty trim all over, which he liked.  I 
should take her running, get her a little more muscle tone, 
he thought.

	Sara gave a happy little wiggle and a tiny happy cry.  
Asou quickly checked the book.  'When she expresses her 
joy, you have passed the Gate of Massage.'  The whole 
book expressed various relationship states in terms of 
'Gates'.  They were already past 'Friendship', 'First Date', 
'Dating', 'Kissing' and 'Making Out'.  

	He flipped the page, listening to her breathe.  "The oil 
isn't too much for you, is it?" he asked.

	"I should give you a massage," she mumbled.

	But then it'll smell even MORE like roses, he thought.  
The next page of the book seemed to shimmer as he looked 
at it, and he rubbed his eyes.  The next page was supposed 
to begin 'The Gate of the First Night', but once he rubbed 
his eyes, it actually said, 'The Gate of Getting Oiled Up By 
Your Girlfriend.'  He looked at the book suspiciously.  But 
it would make Sara happy...

	He said, "Okay, you can massage me now.  Get up."

	As she got up, he realized the sheets would have to be 
washed, as they were going to smell of roses for eternity.

	He took his shirt and pants off and laid down, closing 
his eyes.  He could hear a bit of fumbling, and then Sara 
went to work on him as he felt his muscles tense up at her 
touch, only to begin relaxing.  

	I'm going to dream of roses forever now, he thought, 
as slowly, his pains and tensions were worked away.

***************

	Yakumo was sitting in her room trying to get her sense 
of self together again, when Tenma walked in.  "Hi, little 
sis," Tenma said.

	"Hi," Yakumo said softly.

	"I hear you got stuck as Akira-chan," Tenma said.

	Yakumo nodded.

	"You have to build up gradually, start with simple 
roles, then gradually build your repertoire," Tenma said.  "I 
can try to teach you, if you want."

	Yakumo licked her lips nervously.  "Maybe I should 
stick to being me."

	Tenma nodded.  "Probably wise.  You have other 
talents."

	Yakumo pulled her sister into a hug silently.  Tenma 
let herself be hugged, antennae wiggling.

	"I wish I could read minds like you," Tenna said 
sorrowfully.

	"You'd lose some of your sweetness," Yakumo said 
softly.

	Tenma winced.  "That bad?"

	"Not all the time," Yakumo said.  "But it made me 
very shy around boys."

	"I'm going to have to frog-punch Kenji," Tenma said, 
frowning.  "He needs to bail out of this and let you have 
Eri."

	Yakumo's eyes widened slightly, then she asked 
softly, "What's a frog-punch, oneechan?"

	"I don't know, but frogs hate it," Tenma said.  "But I'm 
sure we'll win in the end, since MONKEYS ALWAYS 
LOSE."

	"But...wouldn't Imadori-sempai be the only one of us 
who wouldn't become a monkey by winning?" Yakumo 
asked.

	"No, because he should have been Karen's boyfriend, 
but her hurt her and now he has to suffer," Tenma said.  
"Whereas, a woman can have all the girlfriends she wants 
and be fine if she sticks to her one man."

	"But a man can't," Yakumo said hesitantly.

	"He can have all the BOYfriends he wants, but he has 
to stick to one woman."  Beat.  "Not literally stick, just 
figuratively," Tenma said.  "Just to be clear there's no glue 
involved."

	Yakumo hadn't thought of even the possibility of glue.  
"Oh, I see," she said.  "So it would be fine, if, say, Karen-
sempai entered.  Or you."

	"Eri's already my girlfriend," Tenma said.  "Though 
that only really matters when the moon is full."

	Yakumo blinked and tried to study Tenma's mind; she 
could see Tenma hiding from the moon, as if afraid of it.  
"When the moon is full?"

	Tenma recited in a song-song manner, 

		Even a woman who is pure in heart
And says her prayers by night,
May become a lesbian when the thunder booms,
And the full moon is bright.

	Yakumo blinked in confusion.

	"It's a terrible curse on our family.  I only learned of it 
myself during my trip to the other world," Tenma said.  
"You'd be amazed how much Princess Tenma knew about 
secret lores."

	"But...I don't remember Mother saying anything about 
that," Yakumo mumbled.

	"There's a formula for men, too."  Tenma screwed up 
her nose, trying to remember.  "It has to do with roses and 
lightning."

	"I see," Yakumo said.  She wanted to believe her 
oneechan, yet this seemed like one of Tenma's fantasies.  "I 
think it's going to be the full moon during the parties."

	Tenma's eyes widened.  "Oh dear."

	"I'm sure we'll be fine," Yakumo said, hoping she was 
right.

	"Just stay out of the moonlight.  The party is mostly 
indoors and...oh dear, you have the last party, the evening 
of New Years' Day, right?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Well...I guess we'll see," Tenma said, hugging 
Yakumo tightly.

	Yakumo rested her head on her sister's shoulder.  "I 
always feel better with you by my side," she said.

	"Me too," Tenma said, then paused.  "With you by my 
side, not me by my side."

	Yakumo smiled.  "Of course, nee-chan."

	"Do you feel better?" Tenma asked.

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Let's go work on getting you another girlfriend, 
then," Tenma said.

	"Okay," Yakumo said, letting herself be led away.  
Oneechan usually knew best, even if Yakumo didn't always 
understand what she meant.	

**************

	Mikoto looked down the slope.  "Want to race?"

	"Sure," Eri said, getting ready.

	Mikoto smiled a little.  Eri's so competitive.  But it can 
be fun too.  Hopefully, this will take her mind off things.  
Eri had called Mikoto up and asked her to come over.

	After three races, Mikoto was ahead two to one, and 
she thought by now Eri might be ready to talk.  As they 
headed back up, Mikoto asked, "So are you excited about 
the parties?"

	"A little," Eri said reluctantly.  "Everyone seems 
so...enthusiastic about them."

	"Well, it's kinda fun, none of us ever get to do 
anything this fancy, you know," Mikoto said.

	"I'd like it more if it wasn't all part of one of Mother's 
games."  Eri grimaced as she kept walking.

	"Well, you like Kenji-kun, right?" Mikoto asked.

	Eri's eyes widened slightly, then she said, "I would not 
mind him winning."

	"You're so stubborn," Mikoto said teasingly.  "We 
both know you love him."

	"I can't believe I like such a big idiot," Eri grumbled.  
"He's so...such a gorilla."

	"Well, the kind of guy you think you'd like isn't 
always what you end up liking," Mikoto said, stomping 
along.  "I wouldn't have thought I'd end up with Haruki-
kun, but..."

	"Oh, we all knew it was inevitable," Eri lied, trying to 
tease her back.  "So how did you get him to dump all his 
other girlfriends?"  It suddenly hit her that she and Mikoto 
had discussed all this stuff earlier, when she'd been 
disguised as Yuuki.  But now there was no danger of being 
overheard, and she hoped Mikoto knew some magic trick 
she hadn't thought to share in the middle of the night.

	The heart of the matter, Mikoto realized.  "I told him I 
loved him and...gave myself to him."  She felt less 
embarrassed about it than she would have expected.  "Big 
confession with...audience."

	Eri looked inquiringly at Mikoto.  "Miki-san and 
Mashahiro-san being the audience?"

	"Yes," Mikoto said.  "After a double date with them."

	"And now all four of you are lovers," Eri said 
thoughtfully.

	"We're not...we don't...I mean we..."  Mikoto fumbled 
for words.

	"Yes, just like you and Hanai 'weren't like that' after 
the 'MIKO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!' 
incident," Eri said, grinning.

	"I..."  Mikoto had no idea what to say.  "Have you told 
him you love him when you're not drunk?"

	"I don't have to get drunk to say I love someone," Eri 
said stubbornly.

	"So you haven't," Mikoto said, recovering her 
emotional footing.

	"We've kissed!" Eri protested.

	"With your genders reversed," Mikoto said.

	"The right way!  Like when we were in that cave!," 
Eri said.

	"But have you confessed your love with your eyes 
wide open, sober, the right gender, with people watching so 
you can't take it back?" Mikoto asked softly.  "So he knows 
you're totally sincere?"

	"I don't even know if we have a future," Eri said, 
turning to stare at a tree.

	"Is it any surprise he hedges his bets if you won't 
commit to him publically without any shame either?" 
Mikoto asked.

	Eri turned, looking pissed off.  "I'm not the one 
waffling between two people!"

	"Kissing isn't enough," Mikoto said.  "I had to open 
myself, and risk him stabbing me down and abandoning 
me, to get him to finally know his own heart.  You'll never 
win him so long as you can't be honest with your feelings.  
Completely honest."

	"Surely, he knows how I feel," Eri said.

	"Has he ever hidden how he feels from you?" Mikoto 
asked.  "Kenji has a lot of flaws, but hiding his emotions 
certainly isn't one of them."

	"He doesn't know what's in his head," Eri mumbled.  
She grabbed Mikoto and shook her.  "How he can say 
things like how he'll kill anyone who touches me and then 
go around snogging Yakumo????  And when he was a 
woman, he was so...and she...and her lips and..."  Eri was 
beginning to vibrate, her voice becoming breathless.

	"That was kind of scary seeing you two like that," 
Mikoto said.  "You were so..."

	"So...so?" Eri said frantically.

	"Sexy," Mikoto mumbled.  "And Kenji was so 
totally..."

	"Sexy," Eri mumbled.  "Maybe I should just jump 
him."

	"You can't JUST jump him.  You have to put him 
where he has to make up his mind."

	"THEN jump him," Eri said.

	"Yeah," Mikoto said, staring at the snow, but smiling.

	"Well, these parties are probably our best chance," Eri 
said.  "Will you and Hanai be my witnesses?"

	Mikoto had to hesitate.  She was torn between wanting 
to support Eri and feeling sympathy for Yakumo.  I'm like 
her, Mikoto thought.  I thought I was pretending for 
someone else's sake, but then it became real.

	But Yakumo had Tenma on her side, and Eri...did Eri 
really have anyone on her side?  Mikoto suddenly felt very 
guilty about that.  It was a friend's duty to back each other 
up, after all.  

	She had to help Eri.  "Of course we will," Mikoto said, 
hoping she was making the right choice.

	Though maybe I should try talking to Kenji too, she 
thought.  See what I can get out of him.

	Eri brightened.  "Thank you.  Now, tell me all about 
your love confession to Hanai.  I need to know every 
detail."

	Mikoto licked her lips nervously and told the story as 
they finished heading back up.  She ended with, "The one 
big thing is that if you do get him, you need to make sure 
he breaks it off with Yakumo immediately and doesn't let it 
drag out like Haruki did."

	Eri frowned.  "Amen to that."

	"And of course, there's the possibility she'll snap and 
turn you both into cats or something," Mikoto said.  Which 
she would not have once thought possible, but now she 
feared it was.

	"Or reverse our genders.  But I think that's more 
my...magic...than hers," Eri said, thinking about their 
experiences.

	"Have you...experimented much with it?" Mikoto 
asked.

	"I'm wary of it, as if we get gender swapped again, it's 
going to be hard to get turned back," Eri said.  

	"It seems kind of dangerous," Mikoto said, now 
leaning against a tree.

	"Yeah.  I'll save it for if there's a real emergency," Eri 
said.

	"That's sensible," Mikoto said.

	Eri licked her lips.  "So what's it like?"

	"What, magic?"

	"No, when you...you know."  Eri turned red.

	"It's very exciting," Mikoto said, staring up at the sky 
and shifting on her feet.  "My whole body gets 
all...excited...and it feels so good and he kisses me and I 
can hear them kissing each other, and there's that little 
moan he makes when it's really good..."  Her voice was 
getting more excited and loud.  "And then Miki starts 
making those cries like she's trying to tell the whole world 
how she feels and I know I helped some friends love each 
other which makes it feel even better and there will be...like 
a leg and I can tell whose just by the way it touches mine 
and the creaks that means he's touching her...her..."  Mikoto 
was looking very flustered and starting to talk as fast as an 
auctioneer.

	Images wrapped around Eri's mind and she started to 
feel like she was overheating in her coat as she imagined 
the four of them tumbling around in a bed and then her 
brain imagined her tumbling around in a bed and she knew 
exactly what Kenji looked like naked and what she looked 
like naked (of course) and...and...  "I...So you...how does..."  

	"And I can feel Haruki's fingers, going round, ever so 
slowly, and it feels so good as I fumble for his...as..."  
Mikoto's eyes crossed.  

	It's kind of like an airplane coming in to land, Otoko-
Eri told her.  You have to line up your bodies just right, as 
his thing only bends so far.  And it wants to point towards 
his head.  His other head.

	How the hell do you know this stuff when I don't?, Eri 
asked.

	I'm made out of magic and a level in boyfriend; I have 
to know this stuff, Otoko-Eri told her.  So you want Mikoto 
and Hanai as witnesses?  I can approve of that.

	Eri tried and failed to turn more red.  Mikoto was 
babbling on, and Eri's mind kept trying to reconstruct 
events but with herself and Kenji as the stars.  JUST 
witnesses, she said.

	Uh huh.  They're both pretty hot, Otoko-Eri said.

	You think Onna-Kenji is hot!

	Hell yes she is, Otoko-Eri said.  You could really 
simplify this by...
	
	I'm not going to turn myself into a boy and Harima 
into a girl and take her and Yakumo-san for myself no 
matter how many times you ask!, Eri said defiantly.

	Well, it would simplify matters to just seduce 
Yakumo, but I'm not sure if you can lust for her enough this 
way, Otoko-Eri said.

	"And I start...I..."  Mikoto grabbed two handfuls of 
snow and shoved them in her own face.  "I'm sorry, Eri-
chan, I just got kind of carried away."

	Eri mumbled, "Me too."

	They both stood there uncomfortably, then Mikoto 
breathed in and out deeply.  "Look, I really can give you 
some advice and not just flashback on you."

	"I'd appreciate that," Eri said.  As she didn't trust 
Otoko-Eri's advice; too much of it was mad monkey guy 
thinking.  

	Mikoto began explaining it all as best she could, 
which would take a while.

*************	

	"All done," Sara said gently.  

	Asou stirred, hoping he hadn't fallen asleep; it was all 
very relaxing.  He turned and sat up, then said, "Okay, 
next..."

	To his surprise, next to Sara stood a large, cranky 
looking angel, who was more muscular than he was used to 
thinking of angels as being.  

	Asou stared.  Am I dreaming?  "Who the..." he began.

	DON'T SAY IT, the Angel boomed at him, then 
tugged on its ear.  "Sorry.  I'm afraid you must defeat me in 
a wrestling match before you can go further with Sara.  I 
am her guardian angel."

	"..."

	Sara laughed nervously.  "Sorry, dear, but it seems to 
be the law."  She carefully capped the rose oil and laid it 
down on the bed near the edge.

	"Uhh...any chance we could play basketball instead?" 
Asou asked.  "Or maybe have a race?"

	The angel looked around.  "It's kind of crowded in 
here for either of those."

	"You're an angel, can't you magic something up like 
Eri would?"

	"You want to turn into a woman again?" the angel 
asked.

	Sara laughed nervously.

	"NO," Asou said.

	"Then we wrestle, unless you have another sport in 
mind that will fit in here," the Angel said.

	"Does Suga have to do this?" Asou asked.

	"He's not trying to get access to a junior nun," the 
Angel said.  

	"So what happens if I lose?" Asou asked warily.

	"I turn you into a pillar of salt."

	"..."

	Sara's jaw dropped.

	"That is what you humans call 'a joke'," the angel said.  
"You just get beaten up and there is no passing the Gate of 
the Angel for you."

	"So we can't...until I beat you?" Asou said.

	"Yes," the Angel said.

	Asou looked over at Sara.  "Is he serious?"

	"Yes," Sara said softly.  "I didn't realize you had to 
literally fight him, though."

	Asou said, "Alright, we wrestle, then."  He hopped off 
the bed and dropped into a ready stance.  "Bring it, Angel," 
he said defiantly.

	The Angel rushed at him, seizing his hands and 
flipping him around to slam into the ground.  As he tried to 
get up, the Angel kicked him in the chest and pinned him to 
the ground, then began twisting an arm and a leg around.

	Asou struggled desperately, but the Angel was strong, 
hugely, supernatually strong like Harima or Hanai or Karen 
or Lala.  It was like trying to outwrestle an elephant.  He 
could feel his muscles strain to their limit, while the Angel 
casually pinned him in place and began a very slow ten-
count.

	"One."

	I can't win this, he realized.  There's nothing special 
about me like there is about them, like there is about Sara.  
How can I, an ordinary man, beat an angel?

	"Two."

	"I suppose I can't tag out," he mumbled.

	"Only if you want to lose her to whoever beats me," 
the Angel said.  "Once you've shown you're too weak to 
take me, she won't want you any more.  Three."

	The Angel moved a foot to pin Asou's head to the 
floor now.  He tried to look and see Sara, to try and inspire 
himself to new effort, but he couldn't see her anywhere.

	"She's fading from your sight.  And you can't even fall 
back on Suga, because he has a girlfriend now; he was 
smart enough to take an ordinary girl he could be as good 
as," the Angel said.  "Four."

	Asou had one leg free, but couldn't figure out what to 
do with it.  He tried hooking it around to push off the floor 
and get some leverage, but instead, it just ended up hurting.  
A lot.  

	"Five."

	He could barely breathe, his face pressed to the carpet.  
Why isn't Sara doing anything?  She should help me, he 
thought.

	"Do you want a relationship where she always has to 
save you?" The Angel asked.  "This is your fight.  Six."

	No, he didn't.  He just wanted something special to 
call his own.  If everyone else was going to becoming so 
incredibly good at things...but all he knew how to do well 
was to run.  And to cook ramen.  But neither of those are 
much good when you're pinned to the floor.  

	"Seven."  The Angel sounded almost bored, which 
really pissed Asou off.  "Maybe she'd be better off with 
Yakumo, anyway.  Yakumo has powers to protect her with 
and you know they both love each other."

	Asou made a mighty effort, throwing his every reserve 
into breaking free.  "Yakumo loves someone else, you 
idiot!  Even if I can't understand WHY,"  He got his head 
off the floor and his legs came free.  He tried to get his 
upper body up, but it remained pinned in place, though he 
could at least move his head a little.  

	"Because he's a mighty fighter, who can keep up with  
her.  He's her equal because of his abilities.  Unlike you.  
You're not worthy of either of them."  Methodically, the 
Angel repinned his legs and then said, "Eight."

	Asou ached all over.  There had to be something, but 
what?  He couldn't possibly beat this thing, not with its 
powers.  He had no powers, no strength, not in comparison 
to it.  Sure, he knew some kissing tricks from the other 
world, but that was hardly going to do any good.  He could 
feel despair gripping at him.  And the damn smell of roses 
clogging his nostrils.

	"Nine," the Angel said, sounding almost bored.

	Time was almost up.  But what could he do?  He had 
no powers, nothing special to defeat an Angel with.  And if 
he couldn't even stop an angel who was friendly to her, 
what could he do if she was in real trouble in the future?  
Nothing, that's what.  If he couldn't even win this match, he 
would be useless to her, nothing but a burden.  And the 
damn smell of roses was making him crazy.  

	Roses...

	His eyes flicked over to the nearby bed, the sheets 
dangling down.  The bottle of oil sat, capped, on the edge 
of the bed.  But it was out of his reach.

	But...

	With a supreme effort, he wrenched his arm free and 
grabbed the sheets, tugging, so the bottle fell off, into his 
hand.  As the Angel leaned down to grab his hand, he 
brought it up, slamming the bottle into the Angel's face as 
hard as possible.

	The Angel screamed as his eyes filled with 
concentrated rose-scented oil.  He lost his grip on Asou, 
who kicked him off as he grabbed at the sheets and tried to 
wipe his face and eyes.

	The Angel began breathing harder and harder, 
mumbling about the rose oil.  Asou grabbed the now 
soaked sheets and wrapped them around the Angel's head 
while he was off-balance.  "I don't care if I don't have any 
powers!  I'll do my damndest to take care of her, even if she 
has to save my ass most of the time!" Asou shouted angrily.  

	Now he overbore the Angel to the ground as it clawed 
at the sheets and began to be overwhelmed by too much 
concentrated rose-scent.  "She loves me, and that's good 
enough for me!"

	"Can't...breathe...roses...," the Angel babbled.

	"GO FOR IT, HIROYOSHI-KUN!  FINISH HIM!" 
Sara shouted from nearby, jumping up and down.

	Asou had to make himself not stare as she bounced.  
Instead, he pinned the Angel and began a rapid ten-count.  
"One.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Five."

	"HATE ROSES."

	"Six.  Seven.  Eight.  Nine.  Ten!  I win!" Asou said 
triumphantly.

	He let the Angel up and it unwrapped its head, 
breathing hard.  "That's a new one," it mumbled.  "How can 
you breathe with this stuff all over?"

	Sara draped herself over one side of Asou.  "I like the 
smell of it."  She ran a hand up and down Asou's arm.  
"And it makes Hiroyoshi-kun's arm so soft."

	"So you think you can protect her by sheer willpower 
alone?" the Angel asked Asou softly.

	"Not always, and it wasn't willpower, it was using my 
mind.  I may not be very magical, but I can at least think 
pretty well.  And I will give it my all to help Sara out and 
protect her.  I may not be a paladin like my other-world 
self, but I have skills too."  Asou's voice was as firm as he 
could make it.

	"Like kissing," Sara said softly, then giggled.  

	"It will be very dangerous for an ordinary guy like 
you," the Angel said warningly.

	"I'm ready to take that chance," Asou said firmly.

	"Well, you have my blessing then.  Just remember that 
once you set foot down this road, it is hard to turn aside 
from it, and often impossible," the Angel said, stretching 
out great white wings.

	"I'm already going down this road, but I'll have Sara 
by my side," Asou said.  "I don't waffle over my choices 
like Harima or Hanai."

	"Heaven knows," the angel said softly, then blew upon 
him.  He felt his forehead burn a moment, and then the 
Angel said softly, "Wake up."

	And the world seemed to turn in on itself, and he 
found himself lying on the bed, Sara's hands on his back.  
"I'm done, Hiroyoshi-kun," she said softly.

	Was it all a dream?  It had seemed so real.  	"Sara-
san, did you see....," he began.

	She put a finger to his lips and climbed onto the bed, 
pulling him up and around to where they were face to face, 
kneeling.  And then she kissed him softly.  "I love your 
shining heart.  I know it will never fail me, Hiroyoshi-kun."

	He shivered.  Maybe it was real.  Or she could see his 
dreams.  Or had she been testing him?  "I love you," he said 
softly.  "I just hope I can be worthy of you."

	"You always have been," Sara said softly, kissing him 
quickly, then bringing him in closer.  "So what's next in our 
'magic' book, my love?"

	"It's time to open the gate," he said softly.  "And see 
what lies beyond."

	It took a very gratifying amount of time to do this, at 
the end of which the rose smell finished him off again.  

	Thankfully, this time, there were no more Angel 
attacks.


*************

	Akira was going over some figures when Yakumo 
shyly approached her.  "Sempai," she began.

	"Looking for business advice?  I hear you took them 
to town."

	Yakumo smiled a little.  "Yes," she said.  "But only by 
being you."

	"I wish I knew how to do that," Akira said a little 
wistfully.  "There are times when I would like to be able to 
be Mikoto or Eri or Tenma or you whenever I like," Akira 
continued.

	"It's kind of scary; I don't know how oneechan does it 
so easily," Yakumo said.  "I hope..."

	"I'm not angry, I'm flattered," Akira said.  "Would you 
like some tea?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	They went and got some tea and cookies and sat 
together in the kitchen.  Akira said, "So what did you want 
to ask me about?"

	"Sempai, oneechan thinks she's a werelesbian.  That 
it's a family curse," Yakumo said.

	Akira shook her head.  "I'm pretty sure she's just 
imagining it."

	"So I won't turn into a boy or anything when the moon 
is full?" Yakumo asked, fumbling with a cookie.

	"I think there's no danger of that," Akira said.  
"Though admittedly with all the weird gender-bending, we 
may all be werelesbians now."

	Yakumo's eyes widened slightly.  "How...is there a 
test?"

	"There's no known test for things which only exist in 
Tenma-chan's head," Akira said, sipping her tea.  "I 
suppose you and Sara could go out in the moonlight 
tomorrow night and see."

	Yakumo nodded.  "Okay, sempai."  She felt relieved.  
"I hope oneechan doesn't do anything too foolish."

	"Oh, she will," Akira said.  "But we'll make sure she's 
okay.  So what are you going to do with Eri-chan once you 
win her?"

	 Yakumo looked embarrassed.  "I think she'll be my 
girlfriend, right?"  She stared at the ground, blushing.

	"Well, that is one way to settle things, if not the usual 
way," Akira said.  "I am surprised, though my experiences 
in the other world did open my eyes to some things."  She 
sipped her tea, musing.

	Yakumo chewed on a cookie delicately, then said, "So 
is it much different than...than having a boyfriend?"  She 
felt very nervous and uncertain as to whether her oneechan 
really understood what is going on.

	"Well, women are different from men, but the 
principle is the same, except for the sex going differently," 
Akira said.  "As far as I know."

	Yakumo finished her cookie and rose.  "Thank you, 
sempai."

	"You're welcome."

	She watched Yakumo go and shook her head.  I 
wouldn't have thought she was interested in that, Akira 
thought.  But people are full of surprises.

***************
		
	Imadori lurked up in the ceiling, listening to Karen's 
band practice.  They were really good musicians.  He laid 
back and listened; it was so peaceful up here.  Nothing 
could disturb him.  

	Besides the faint scent of roses, but air freshener could 
be nice, really.  
		
	Well, whatever else happened at Harima's party, the 
music would be nice.  Maybe I'll even be able to steal a 
dance, Imadori thought.

	I have to get her away from that bastard, Harry, 
Imadori thought.  He'll only break her heart.  Imadori 
couldn't allow that.

	Not that he was sure how to stop it.  He carefully slid a 
ceiling tile aside and looked down, watching Karen and 
Lala dance as they sang and the band played on.  His mind 
drifted off into a fantasy of going on a date with both of 
them at the same time.

	Then his phone rang; he had it on vibrate, or it would 
have been his doom.  He answered it, whispering, "Hello?"

	"Boss, I need someone to get me out of this garbage 
can," Yoshidayama said.

	He whispered, "Call Buddha.  He'll detach someone."

	"You spying on Ichijou again?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"No," Imadori lied.

	"I can't see what you see in a flat-chested woman like 
that," Yoshidayama said.

	"She is NOT flat-chested," Imadori said loudly, 
getting irritated.  "I mean, she's not big but I couldn't 
possibly find a small chested woman interesting," he 
continued, loudly and angrily.  "But just because I prefer D 
doesn't mean..."

	A hand came through the ceiling tiles, dragging 
Imadori down to dangle in Lala's hands.  He glanced over 
at Karen, who looked embarrassed.  He tried to figure out if 
her breasts were a little bigger or if he was just imagining 
things.  If she got like her mother...

	For a moment, he started to lose himself in a fantasy, 
except now Lala juggled him and started to pound him into 
the concrete.  "DIE!"

	"Any chance you could throw me over to Miko-chin's 
place?" Imadori asked between screams of pain.  "I need to 
get Yoshidayama out of a garbage can."

	She stormed over, opened the doors and proceded to 
throw him all the way over to the other lodge.  He 
descended into a garbage can himself, next to 
Yoshidayama.

	"That you, boss?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Yeah."

	"Wow, you came quick, thanks."

	"I'm stuck, dammit," Imadori said.

	"..."

	His only consolation was that he'd managed to grope 
Lala briefly before being thrown.  So nice...  He lost 
himself in a fantasy, as it beat thinking about his new 
friend, the last day's garbage.

*************
	
	Karen sat down, trying to think.  Had he really said he 
found her interesting?  But why did he run around if that 
was the case?  Part of her wanted to run to him, to ask 
him...no, no.  She had a boyfriend now, and she should 
only think of her Harry, who was faithful to her.

	"What the hell is that white powder on your chest?" 
Sagano asked, looking at Lala.

	Lala looked down at her black dress.  "That bastard 
has soiled my fancy dress!  He will..."

	Her turn to run after him was interrupted by Karen 
snaking her hand.  "It's not worth it," Karen said softly.  
She rose and carefully brushed the ceiling tile powder off 
Lala's chest.

	Gruffly, Lala said, "Thank you."

	Karen smiled at her, a little sadly.  "Let's sing, okay?  
And smile, your smile is beautiful."

	Lala flushed a little.  "You think so?"

	"Yes," Karen said.

	"Yeah, you're gorgeous," Sagano said.  

	Yuuki and Karasuma nodded.

	Fuyuki snapped a picture.  "Very."

	Lala laughed nervously.  "Let's...let's sing."

	Karen nodded, wondering what her boyfriend was 
doing.

*************

	Harry frowned, wondering how his sister had 
manuevered him into chess instead of the race he'd tried to 
challenge her friends to.  But it seemed, weirdly to him, 
that they were enjoying watching him and Masahiro go 
head to head.  

	"You ever met this Yoshidayama boy?" Keiichi asked 
Harry.

	"He's a punk.  A FLUNKY punk," Harry said, moving 
his Queen's Knight to cover his central pawns.

	"Bastard's after my Jenny," Keiichi grumbled.

	"Kick his ass," Harry said.  He glanced over; Miki, 
Kasumi, and Jenny were in the kitchen, making tea and 
snacks for everyone, while Shinichi and Keiichi watched.  
"Where's everyone else?"

	"Oh, all over," Shinichi said.  "Skiing, drawing manga, 
writing business plans, etc.  I don't remember us being so 
hyperactive in high school."

	"You were too obsessed with baseball to notice 
anything else," Keiichi said.

	Masahiro finally moved a rook out to support his own 
central pawns, then sat back.

	To Harry, Keiichi said, "Kicking his ass isn't enough."

	"You actually kicked his ass?" Harry asked in 
surprise, moving out a bishop to backup his knight.

	Masahiro steepled his fingers, studying the board.

	"He's in a garbage can right now," Keiichi said.  "If he 
comes back, I'll kick his ass again."  He looked pretty 
angry.

	Harry glanced at the kitchen, where he could see 
Jenny half-watching Keiichi and looking pretty pleased 
with herself.  He wondered what she was up to and how he 
was getting tangled into it now.  Just keep your mad plans 
away from my Karen, he thought.  

	Which reminded him of a plan he'd come up with, 
though it would have to wait for now.

****************
	
	"Imadori-san, did someone stuff you in the garbage?" 
Tenma asked.

	"Help me, Tsukamoto-san!" Yoshidayama said.

	Tenma was wandering around, looking for Harima.  

	She pulled Yoshidayama out with some effort, ending 
up strewn with garbage.  "UGH," she said.

	He tried hard to clean her off, while simultaneously 
trying to avoid being grappled again.  He could feel flickers 
of her fantasies trying to invade his mind.  

	"Help, help!" Imadori said.

	"I should help you, but you're my sister's rival and you 
hurt Karen, so NO SOUP MERCY FOR YOU."

	Really, he's luckier without Tenma's soup mercy, 
Yoshidayama thought, shuddering.

	"Help!" Imadori said.  "You gotta help me, 
Yoshidayama!"

	"Well...okay," Yoshidayama said.  It wasn't Imadori's 
fault he'd ended up in the garbage, after all.  

	"Leave him," Tenma said firmly.  

	"But..."

	"Let's get you cleaned up," Tenma said, dragging 
Yoshidayama off.

	"But...it's so cold," Imadori mumbled as they went off.

***************

	Mai looked over...something familiar about the blonde 
woman in the bikini over there.  She squinted, then went 
over to the woman.  "Excuse me, are you Aino-sensei?" she 
asked.

	"Mai-san!" Aino-sensei said, sitting up.  Mai felt a 
moment of envy; Aino-sensei was at least twice Mai's age, 
but she had a nicer figure.  Mai could hardly believe she 
was old enough to have a daughter the same age as Mai.  
"It's good to see you here.  Minako, come over here."

	A blonde girl came over; she looked like an only 
slightly younger version of her mother; they even wore the 
same bikini.  "Yes, mother?"  Several of her friends 
continued to play volleyball down the beach.

	"This is Ootsuka Mai, class president of 2-C."

	Minako's eyes widened slightly.  "THAT class?"

	"..."  Mai had a bad feeling.

	Aino-sensei smiled.  "Now, now, they're very good 
kids who watch out for each other.  It wasn't their fault I 
got sent to detention, even though I DID vote for going to 
your concert instead."

	Mai laughed nervously.  "Not one of our better 
moments."

	"Did your class come to Hawaii with you?" Aino-
sensei asked.  

	"It's just me and Tougo," Mai said.  She pointed down 
the beach to where he was trying to grill hotdogs.

	"Ooooh, he's CUTE," Minako said, hearts in her eyes.

	Mai's ears twitched.  "My cute boyfriend, yes."

	"Mmm, isn't he president of 2-D?"

	"Former president," Mai mumbled.

	"Well, if you want some company, I'm sure my 
daughter's friends would be happy to play with you," Aino-
sensei said.

	"Oh yes, I'll invite him PERSONALLY," Minako said.

	"He's my BOYFRIEND," Mai said firmly.

	"Well, I...dammit, Makoto got to him first!" Minako 
said.

	Mai turned and saw a tall, muscular, busty auburn-
haired woman with a long pony-tail talking to Tougo, who 
smiled and stepped back, letting her take over grilling the 
hot dogs.  Tiny wisps of smoke came out of Mai's ears.

	She stormed over to Tougo, as the woman said, 
"Fortunately, these hotdogs are still salvageable."

	"Are you saying my BOYFRIEND can't cook?" Mai 
asked.

	"What does your boyfriend have to do with Tougo-
san's cooking?" Makoto asked.

	Like the tail of an angry dog, Mai's pony-tail stood up.  
"I...you..."  It was hard to speak through the knot of rage in 
her throat.

	"Makoto-san, this is my girlfriend, Ootsuka Mai.  She 
is the former president of 2-C at Sukuran High School, and 
is very dear to me," Tougo said, putting an arm around her.  

	She blushed a little at that.

	Makoto said, "It's nice to meet you, Ootsuka-san."  It 
was the voice of someone acknowledging a rival.  "I hope 
you have more hot dogs.  I can see my friend Usagi 
coming; she could eat all these herself.  Not to mention 
Aino-san can pack it in without gaining weight, somehow, 
so she eats like a PIG."  Makoto sounded slightly envious.

	"You don't mind if they eat with us, do you, Mai-
chan?" Tougo asked.  "We have too much food, and 
company is nice."

	Mai glanced at the oncoming hungry horde, then said 
lightly, "Oh, it's fine, dear.  You don't mind paying for all 
the extra food we'll need, do you?"

	"Of course not," he said smoothly, trying to figure out 
where he was going to get it, as he recognized Usagi the 
Mouth, legendary pigger-outer...

	If worse comes to worse, I'll break out the Vash outfit 
to get Mai to loan me the money, he thought.  

	This would be a challenge.  But he liked challenges.

***************

	Eri and Mikoto listened to the band finish its practice.  
"Man, you all are really great," Mikoto said.

	Karen smiled, a little embarrassed.  "Thank you."

	"Oh, you might want to talk to Karen for more advice 
on, you know," Mikoto said to Eri.

	Eri realized the entire band was looking at them 
curiously, except for Karasuma, who started cleaning up.

	"About what?" Karen asked.

	"Hey, I like to give unsolicited advice," Sagano said.  
"Can I help?"

	Fuyuki snapped a pic of the embarrassed Eri and not-
embarrassed-yet Mikoto.  

	Lala frowned deeply at Mikoto on general principles.

	"Oh, I should be fine," Eri said to Mikoto, then came 
over to Karen and took her by the arm.  "I'm just going to 
take Karen off for a brief talk about something else 
entirely."

	Karen, looking confused, did not resist, while Sagano 
said, "But...she...wait, what?"

	Eri soon took Karen back to her room.  "That dress 
looks very nice on you," she said to Karen.

	"Thank you.  It's a little tight in the chest, but that 
seems to make Harry like it more."  She laughed nervously.

	Eri pulled Karen out a chair and carefully closed the 
door, locking it.  "You and Harry have done it, right?"

	"I...yes," Karen said nervously.  "Are we making too 
much noise?"

	Yes, Eri thought.  But I won't mention that right now.  
"I'm looking to expand my repertoire in such things, so I 
wanted to see if you know any secret techniques."  I am so 
slick, she thought.

	Karen said, "I...I'm not sure if you're in...if you...I 
mean..."

	Eri cocked her head curiously.

	"Well, I know Satsuki and Suga had trouble with some 
of my...techniques," Karen said hesitantly.

	"Yes, but I'm smarter than them," Eri said.

	"It's not brains, it's a matter of conditioning," Karen 
said.

	"Are you saying I'm not in good enough shape?" Eri 
asked, a little outraged.

	Nervously, Karen got up.  "Attack me."

	Eri leaped to her feet and charged, arms out.  Karen 
grabbed Eri's hands and flipped, slamming Eri into the 
ground.

	A dazed Eri mumbled, "Wow, the floor is made of 
solid...titanium..."

	"See?  I can do that to Harry and he just laughs once 
he gets his wind back," Karen said.

	Eri peeled herself off the floor.  Determined, she said, 
"I'm ready, this time."

	Karen stared at Eri's feet nervously.  "You sure?"

	"HAI!"  Eri launched a flying kick at Karen, who 
braced with her arms.  As Eri started to bounce off her, 
Karen reached out, grabbed Eri by the legs and spun, 
slamming her into a wall.

	Eri laid on the floor, little birds around her head.  
"Humina humina..." she mumbled.

	"I'm sorry," Karen said.  

	"That's...doesn't seem like sex..." Eri babbled.

	"Oh, that's part of the foreplay," Karen said, 
embarrassed.

	No wonder Imadori is scared of her, Eri thought.  "I 
think I'm going to lie here and enjoy being part of the 
floor."

	"Okay," Karen said, going to the door.  "You're okay, 
right?"

	"Just peachy," Eri babbled.  "Bye."

****************
		
	Harima wandered into the living room, and saw Harry 
still playing chess with Masahiro while most of the college 
gang sat around watching, kibitizing, and drinking tea.  
Harima shook his head.  College students are crazy, he 
thought, though he wandered over to study the board.  
"Better move that pawn," he said to Harry, pointing to a 
pawn.

	"I'm fine," Harry said, moving his remaining bishop.  
Harima was a good fighter, but the man didn't know chess.  
Or much of anything else.  This was a setup to cover his 
knight's advance on the next move, so he could then fork 
Masahiro's Queen and a bishop and force Masahiro to 
abandon one or the other.

	Masahiro grinned.  "Harima was right."  His queen 
swept down on the pawn, now threatening Harry's last rook 
and the King at once.  "Check."

	"You're in trouble now," Harima said.  

	"I know," Harry said tightly, studying the board.

	"I'd hate to have to run naked around the house in this 
weather," Harima said.

	"WHAT?" Harry said in confusion.

	"Umm, I don't get it," Masahiro said.

	"It's going...going...home run of incomprehension," 
Shinichi said.

	"If he checks you again within the next three turns, 
you have to run naked around the house once, right?"  
Harima asked.

	"That is NOT a rule of chess at all," Harry said.

	"It isn't?" Harima asked, surprised.

	"No," Masahiro said.

	"DAMN YOU, ITOKO!" Harima shouted, shaking his 
fist at the heavens.

	Tenma now entered, dragging Yoshidayama.  "Come 
on," she said.  "We have to get you cleaned up before you 
get sick and mutate," she continued.

	Keiichi glared at him.  "Can't we keep the garbage out 
of here?"

	Tenma said, "Well, I can't just take him to the 
bathroom without going through here.  Sorry about the 
smell!"

	"What happened?" Harima asked.

	"Brat attacked me in my own bedroom with some 
fancy jumping move, so I kicked his ass," Keiichi said.

	Jenny smiled a little.

	"HE WENT DOWN LIKE A CHUMP," Yoshidayama 
said.  "But I tripped and got knocked out."

	Keiichi started to rise from his chair.

	"I think you two have kicked each other's ass enough 
for one day," Shinichi said, putting his tea down and rising 
as well.

	"There's not kicking of ass enough in the whole world 
for that punk!" Yoshidayama said.

	"Okay, brat, I..." Keiichi began.

	Tenma gently laid Yoshidayama down and interposed 
herself.  "He's under my protection.  He's had enough for 
one day."

	She and Keiichi glared a little.  Harima watched, 
grinning.  "Don't mess with Tenma-san," he said, feeling a 
strange feeling.  Not exactly love, but...admiration?  
Fondness?  Friendship?  Sibling love?  He wasn't sure what 
it was, but it felt good. 

	"Fine, I'm not here to beat up little kids," Keiichi said, 
returning to his chair.

	"Little kids?" Tenma said, starting to storm after him, 
but Harima caught her shoulder.

	"Let it be," he said.  "And get Yoshi-san out of here 
before we die of the stench."

	"I'd smell GOOD if some punk hadn't put me in a 
garbage can," Yoshidayama grumbled, trying to get up.

	Harima steered them out of the room while Harry 
continued to lose.  Me, a peacemaker, Harima thought.  
THAT's a new one.

	"Thanks, brother-in-law," Tenma said.

	"You still mad at me?" Harima asked.  He didn't like 
being on bad terms with her.

	"No," she said.  "I've solved everything."

	"You have?" Harima asked.

	"When Yakumo wins, you'll be her boyfriend and Eri 
will be her girlfriend and it will all be fine," Tenma said.  

	"..."

	"And you can't complain because you had a boyfriend 
and a girlfriend at the same time when you were a girl," she 
said, waggling her finger at Harima.

	Am I the only sane person left on this planet, 
Yoshidayama wondered.  What's this 'when you were a girl' 
talk?  Then again, Tenma seems to always be on drugs.

	"How exactly would that be different from me dating 
both of them?" Harima asked.  

	"Because YAKUMO would be dating both of you.  It's 
fine if a girl has multiple girlfriends, like I do," Tenma said.

	"Wait, you're..." Harima said, trying to catch up.

	"And she'd only have one boyfriend.  And you'd just 
have one girlfriend, so it would all be good," Tenma said.

	She's right, Onna-Harima said.  Just like you did with 
Otoko-Eri and Yakumo.

	Yes, but you're crazy, Harima said.

	Has Tenma succumbed to Monkeyism?, he asked 
Onna-Harima.

	I'm not going to pretend that even I, a genius, fully 
understand Tenma-logic, Onna-Harima said.  But this 
seems pretty much in accord with what you did in the other 
world.

	Well, Onna-Harima did seem to understand women 
better than him, but...would Eri really want to be Yakumo's 
girlfriend, given the rivalry between them?  It would be like 
me and Hanai shacking up, Harima thought.  

	Though Otoko-Eri couldn't stop kissing Yakumo by 
'accident' all the time.  And Yakumo hadn't exactly fought 
it...

	Harima felt his head swim.    "What if I win?"

	"You can't POSSIBLY defeat the Tsukamoto sisters 
when we join our powers!" Tenma said.  Her hair antennae 
wiggled and there was a rattling noise in the bathroom.  A 
spray can flew out of it and down the hallway into her 
hands.  "Sweet, it worked!  I am getting stronger!"  She 
began hosing down Yoshidayama.  "Go get clean while I 
talk to my brother-in-law," she told him.

	He was GLAD to get out.

	Harima stared.  "Has Eri been teaching you sorcery?"

	"I'm telekinetic," Tenma said.  "But I used to only be 
able to bend spoons and the like.  I still can't move you, 
but..."  

	"Man, that could be useful in a fight," Harima said 
thoughtfully.  "Can Yakumo do it?"

	"No, I got this from Father, but he's a lot better at it," 
Tenma said.  

	Harima stared off, thinking about his father and 
hoping he hadn't gotten ANYTHING from him.  Stupid 
bastard.  

	"Did your father..." Tenma began, then saw the 
shadows on his face.

	"Punk abandoned our family.  I hate him," Harima 
said.

	"Oh," Tenma said softly, feeling embarrassed.  She 
came over and hugged Harima gently.  "It's all going to be 
okay."

	"I'm fine," he said gruffly.  "If I ever see the bastard, 
I'm gonna punk his ass."

	"We'll help," Tenma said firmly.

	"It's not your problem," Harima said.

	"You're family, even when we fight, so it is my 
problem," Tenma said.  "Any idea where he is?"

	"No clue, but probably drunk in a gutter," Harima 
said, grimacing.

	"Well, forget about him," Tenma said.  "He's not your 
problem now."

	"Yeah."  Harima stared off.  "Parties begin in two 
days."

	"I'd wish you luck...BUT ALL THE LUCK IS 
OURS," Tenma said, then cackled.  "But I'm sure yours 
will be fun too."

	"It's a gangster theme," Harima said.  "So come as a 
criminal or a cop."

	"Okay," Tenma said.  "We should make sure..."

	"I AM FINER THAN FINE, THANK YOU," 
Yoshidayama yelled.

	"Well, in that case, I'm off to find Yakumo and go 
finish any prepping of stuff.  See you," Tenma said, 
hugging him again and cruising out.

	He shook his head and went looking for something 
interesting to do.

*************** 		

	Sara laid spent in Asou's arms after they finished, 
enjoying the good feeling.  Everything had gone better than 
she'd been afraid of, especially once the vision started.  Or 
the dream.  Or...she wasn't sure how much was real and 
how much a dream.  Or a real dream.

	But she had her boyfriend and he loved her and she 
felt wonderful and God had not lightning bolted her.  Not 
that she'd REALLY been afraid of that.

	Much.

	Asou looked very intensely thoughtful.  She kissed 
him softly.  "Penny for your thoughts?"

	"Was it real?"

	"I don't know," Sara said.  "I've never seen anyone 
claiming to be my guardian angel before, so it may or may 
not be real."

	"I just hope I don't have to fight him every time," 
Asou mumbled.

	Sara laughed and kissed his cheek.  "Hopefully not.  
Though it did seem to get you in the mood."

	"Before you ask, not wrestling Suga before next time," 
Asou said.

	"Ooooh...."

	He would live to regret saying that, he was sure.

****************

	Eri was still lying on the floor, smelling roses 
everywhere though she couldn't see them.  Her phone rang 
and she finally answered.  "Hello?"

	"Dear, you'll go welcome ABBA to our country with 
your friends, won't you?" her mother asked.  

	"Tomorrow, right?"

	"Yes," her mother said.

	"I can do that," Eri said.  

	"Good.  Take your fiancee with you."

	"MOTHER!" Eri protested.  "And isn't this stupid 
contest to determine who will BE my fiancee?"

	"He's the current reigning champion," her mother said.  
"We will arrive the morning of New Years Eve, so as to be 
there for all the parties."

	"Yes, mother," Eri said, sighing.  "So if Kenji does 
win, are you going to let him win or yell 'psych'?"

	"I'll even let the girl win," her mother said.

	"What are you up to?" Eri demanded.

	"If you understood that, this wouldn't be necessary," 
her mother said.  "I love you, honey, but I have to go.  Bye, 
dear."

	"Love you too," Eri grumbled into the phone and hung 
up.  She forced herself up to her feet and decided to go put 
an end to rose-stink.

***************	

	"You sure you're being wise?" Harry asked Jenny.

	"I know what I'm doing," she said.

	"I've done some weird stuff, but I've never TRIED to 
piss off my lovers," Harry said.

	"Sometimes, it's nice to get some fire out of him," 
Jenny said.

	Harry sighed.  "You're gonna get burnt."

	"You stick to your lover and I'll stick to mine," Jenny 
said.  "So how's it going with her?"

	"Very well," he said.  "Now I just need to find 
something for us to fight together," he continued.  "We'll 
need to practice working in union outside a bed."

	"Is she good?" Jenny asked.

	"It's very different from all my other girlfriends," he 
said.  "I never had one as strong as me before."  He stared 
off across the frozen land; they were outside.  "It's kind of 
weird."

	"What's she like when she gets angry?" Jenny asked.

	"I don't have your weird fetishes," he said.  "She 
doesn't so much get angry as sink into a robotic killing 
mode where she just instinctively crushes people."

	Jenny stroked her chin thoughtfully.

	"But...I know that look, and it is bad."

	Jenny tried to look innocent.  "I know not what you 
speak of, little brother."

	Good thing I sleep in the other lodge, Harry thought.

************		
	
	Sara and Asou were still in bed when Yakumo walked 
in.  Yakumo paused, her eyes widened, then widened more, 
and then she turned and ran out the door.

	"Yakumo, wait!" Sara said instinctively, then ran after 
her, wrapping the sheets around her, leaving Asou behind 
and naked.

	"Hey!" Asou said; he jumped out of bed and tried to 
throw some clothing on.

	Yakumo was making a weird incoherent noise as she 
ran into the living room, where Lala, Fuyuki, Sagano, 
Yuuki, and Karen were playing Trivial Pursuit.  Lala was 
reading off the question, "In the original version of 
Godzilla, the giant monster represented..."

	Everyone stopped and watched Sara in sheets chasing 
Yakumo, with a shirtless, shoeless Asou chasing them.

	Karen said, "..."

	"That looks like fun," Sagano said, starting to rise.

	Yuuki snaked her hand, pulling her down; Fuyuki 
soon joined this.

	"But..."

	"No," Yuuki said.

	"They..."

	"No," Yuuki said.

	"Best to let them be," Karen said.

	Sagano sighed and nodded and sat back down.

************

	Yakumo eventually found herself trapped in a dead 
end with Sara closing in.  She calmed down as she saw 
Sara's head was no longer full of sexy thoughts about Asou, 
but worry about her.

	"What's wrong?" Sara asked her, finally.

	"I...just...embarrassed," Yakumo said.  "I wanted...to 
talk to you.  But you were...busy."

	"Oh, we were just hanging out," Sara said as Asou 
caught up to her.

	"I see," Yakumo squeaked.

	"What's wrong?" Asou asked.

	"Just embarrassed," Yakumo said, getting more so.

	"Oh."

	Yakumo smiled nervously.  "I just need to talk to Sara 
some."

	"Okay," Asou said.  "I should go take a bath anyway."

	Sara went back to her room with Yakumo and 
changed into some fresh clothing.  "So what's up?"

	"Did you two..."

	"It was wonderful," Sara said.  "Though we sort of 
made a mess with the rose oil."  She pulled on a bra and a 
shirt.

	"I wanted to ask..."  Yakumo tried to figure out how to 
say it.  "Oneechan thinks she and I are under a curse."

	Sara blinked.  "Curse?"

	Yakumo repeated the verse for Sara, who began to 
laugh.  "She's joking, right?"

	Yakumo shook her head.  "No, she's serious."

	Sara cocked her head and began to study Yakumo.  "I 
don't see anything unusual beyond your normal."

	"Maybe...it's hidden?" Yakumo said.

	Sara frowned.  "Possible.  Well, the full moon starts 
tomorrow night, so we could test it."

	Yakumo nodded.

	"But I have never heard of any such thing, so it seems 
implausible to me," Sara said.

	"Well, it would make marrying Sawachika-san easier," 
Yakumo said thoughtfully.

	"..."

	"?"

	"You're not seriously going to marry her, are you?" 
Sara asked.

	Yakumo sighed.  "Well, I don't know.  Kenji-kun 
made a good girlfriend, but I don't know if Sawachika-san 
would.  But I can't..."  Her hands flailed.  "I can't back out 
now."

	It was rather a problem, Sara thought.  I'm lucky, 
really.  "Well, I will help you, whatever you decide."

	"We should see about the moonlight thing tomorrow, 
then," Yakumo said.

	Sara finished getting dressed.  "Okay."  She looked 
down at herself.  "I really should have taken a bath first."

	"I can wait while you bathe," Yakumo said.

	"Thanks," Sara said.  "I'll be back soon, then we can 
hang out, okay?"

	"Okay," Yakumo said, smiling.

	She was asleep on Sara's bed before Sara even reached 
the baths.

***************

	Eri was about to go join some games in progress in the 
living room when Asou walked in, looking very clean and 
fresh for late in the day.  "You look ready to go party," Eri 
observed.

	"I just had a bath," he said. "And during it, I suddenly 
realized something I should have told you hours ago."

	"Hmm?"

	"Nakamura-san took myself, Yakumo, and Buddha to 
go get Pachinko machines for the parties at the same time.  
And we saw the machines he is getting.  DOUJIBIRION 
machines."

	"Instead of...oh," Eri said as it sank in.  "OH."

	"Exactly," Asou said.  "He's been playing us.  That's 
his real theme."

	Eri shook her head angrily.  "I should have known.  
He's obsessed with that show."

	"I don't know if it does very much good, but there's the 
truth," Asou said.

	Eri nodded.  "Thank you, Asou-san," she said.  "I'm 
very grateful."

	"I just can't stand this kind of jacking people around," 
he said.  "Good luck."

	"Neither can I," Eri said.  "Just try to not poison the 
atmosphere in the future."

	He nodded.  "I'll do my best."

	At least I didn't have to listen to it, Eri thought.

****************

	Harima nervously began getting ready for bed, 
wondering what exactly Yakumo was planning to do.  
She'd been acting very strange earlier, and he hadn't seen 
her since then.  

	Maybe she wants...maybe she'll...and then she'll...

	Harima's mind ran away in a wild fantasy and he 
passed out.

	When he woke up, he found that somehow he'd moved 
from the floor to the bed.  And taken off his shoes.  And his 
shirt.  And now Yakumo was kneeling over him, still 
wearing her winter gear, running a mittened hand up and 
down his chest; the texture of it against his skin was kind of 
strange, but he liked it.

	His eyes widened.  "Yakumo-san, what are you 
doing?"

	"I want..." she said hesitantly, apparently mostly back 
to normal, anyway, "to do something wicked with you."

	"What, you want to help me beat the crap out of Hanai 
or something?" Harima asked.

	"..."

	"We could stuff Yoshidayama in a garbage can again; 
he's likely done SOMETHING to deserve it," Harima said.  
"You know, Hanai probably deserves a beating for sleeping 
with three other people at once, anyway," Harima said.

	Yakumo said softly, "No, not like that."

	"I don't get it.  Hmm, I could shoot Mikoto in front of 
Hanai again...THAT was wicked," he said thoughtfully.

	He heard a sigh.  "Let me handle this, Yakumo.  
You're not forceful enough.  He'll never get a grip if we 
don't MAKE him," a woman's voice said.  Eri now stepped 
out of the shadows.

	"Grip?  I have a GREAT grip," Harima said.  He 
grabbed a bedpost to demonstrate.

	"Also, Yakumo-san, you need to dress sexy to seduce 
someone," Eri said, walking over to the bed; she unzipped 
Yakumo's jacket and began to take it off her.  

	"I'm wearing sexy underwear under all this," Yakumo 
said hesitantly.  "Like big sister told me to."

	"Kenji will never figure out it's there without help," 
Eri said, now pulling off the mittens.

	"Hey, I know Yakumo wears underwear like everyone 
else, you know!" Harima protested.

	Eri's nimble fingers now removed Yakumo's belt and 
began to tug down her pants; Harima could see she was 
wearing black lacy panties.  His eyes widened.  "Eri-san, 
what are you DOING?"

	"If you're not man enough to jump your own 
girlfriend, I'll have to take her for myself.  She's out to win 
my heart in this contest after all, probably because you 
won't give her the love she needs."  Eri kneeled on the bed 
behind Yakumo; Eri was wearing her school uniform.  

	Yakumo shivered as Eri now kissed her throat, while 
Eri's fingers pulled Yakumo's pants down to her knees, as 
far as they would go with Yakumo still kneeling over 
Harima's legs.

	"I thought you said you loved me!" Harima protested 
to Eri.

	"Yes, but you wouldn't say it back," Eri said angrily.  
Her voice turned smooth as honey as she said, "So Yakumo 
and I will have to make a future together while you dither, 
won't we, Yakumo?"

	Yakumo gave a soft little moan, her eyes closed as Eri 
now began to unbutton her shirt, slowly revealing 
Yakumo's cleavage.  "What does a girl have to do to get 
your love, Kenji-san?" Yakumo asked softly.  "I just want 
to know you, to be in your thoughts..."

	Harima felt himself growing more excited and agitated 
as he watched this.  "You're always in my thoughts!"

	"Then why don't you love me?" she asked almost 
pleadingly, then moaned softly as her shirt came off and 
Eri's fingers played up and down her sides.  The moonlight 
came in the window, glistening on her soft skin.  

	"I don't know my own heart any more!  I don't 
understand these feelings!," Harima shouted, now taking 
both of Yakumo's arms with his hands, moving to where 
his face was close to hers.  "I don't understand me any 
more?  Who am I?  What am I?"

	"You have to decide," Yakumo said softly, holding out 
her hands.  In one, a riceball rested on her palm.  On the 
other, a small flag rested, the British lion rampant in red on 
a white background.  "You must choose?"

	Harima peered at her a moment.  "This isn't some 
Matrix thing, right?"

	"..."

	"HIGE, stop dodging the question!" Eri demanded.

	He stared at them, and then...and then...

*************
	
	"What you drawing, Kenji?" Yakumo asked.  "More 
of our manga?"  

	She'd just walked in on him as he sat in their bedroom.  
He'd meant to draw more manga, but now he realized he'd 
drawn...drawn...

	There was no choice, really.

	Yakumo's eyes widened.  "Kenji-kun, it's not safe to 
eat so much paper at once!"

	He stuffed it all into his mouth and chewed and drank 
coffee at once; it all flowed down his throat in a sodden 
mass, trying to paper-mache his throat.  He began to cough, 
and Yakumo pounded on his back until he coughed up 
some balls of pulp.

	She studied his thoughts, but they were utterly 
incoherent, though she caught a glimpse of her kneeling 
over him, her pants down around her ankles, her shirt open, 
revealing her bra-clad breasts and...

	Her eyes crossed and she blushed.

	Oh god, she can read my mind...read my mind...read 
my mind... "ALIENS MADE ME DO IT!" he bellowed in a 
panic.

	"No, Kenji, don't run away through the halls!," she 
said, grabbing his right arm.  As he tried to flee in terror, 
she moved, tossing him over her shoulder onto the bed, 
then letting go.  "I...you're okay, right?  Just...please don't 
run away."

	It was like...just like when Tenma bodyslammed me, 
he thought.  "Who taught you to do that?  Your big sister?" 
Harima asked.

	"Papa," Yakumo said softly, coming over.  "What's 
wrong, Kenji-san?"

	"I still don't understand anything," he mumbled.

	"Neither do I," she said softly, sitting down on the 
edge of the bed.  "I hope I didn't scare you earlier today.  
I'm not used to doing that."

	"What were you doing?" Harima asked, eager to 
change the subject.

	"Being Akira.  Momma and Papa taught us how, but 
big sister is a lot better at it.  She got all of Papa's talents 
more than I did, and I got Momma's, and Momma is not as 
good at it as Papa," Yakumo said, looking off across the 
room to the window, and hoping her parents were okay.

	"How many powers do you have?" he asked softly.

	"I am a witch," she said softly.  "I can learn to do a lot, 
if I put my mind to it.  But then, you have powers too."

	"Not like yours," he said.

	"Not everyone can talk to animals you know," she said 
to him, turning to face him.  "And you're so strong and 
tough...that's not normal, either."

	"That's 'cause I'm a BADASS," Harima said.  

	Yakumo smiled.  "Yes, you are."  She leaned up and 
kissed his cheek, then slumped back, looking embarrassed.  
"Seeing you be strong makes me excited," she almost 
whispered.

	"Good," he said.  "Everyone ought to know how cool I 
am."  He was feeling less tense; bragging always did him a 
world of good.  

	Yakumo leaned over, resting her head on his chest and 
sitting in his lap; sleep took her swiftly, though she'd 
simply intended to rest a moment.  
	
****************

	The next day, everyone ran around like headless 
chickens, preparing for the parties.  To Eri's relief, her trip 
to the airport to get ABBA with Imadori was much more 
peaceful than she had feared.

	That evening, Yakumo went and found Sara once the 
moon came up; music was flooding out of the lodges as the 
two rival bands prepared themselves.  

	"Are you going out?" Tenma asked them, looking 
nervously out the window.  "Shouldn't we stay and watch 
the band?"

	"We have to test if the curse is real," Sara said, 
smiling the smile of someone pretty sure it was not.

	"No, you'll end up biting Sara and then she'll be 
infected and we'll all end up being shot by Kenji with silver 
bullets!" Tenma said desperately.

	Sara rolled her eyes and took Tenma by the hand and 
Yakumo with the other.  "Come on."

	"It's not safe!  I CAN FEEL THE MOONLIGHT!" 
Tenma shouted as people stared.

	Sara just shook her head and dragged them outside.  
She caught a glimpse of some woman sneaking around in 
the woods near the lodge.  She frowned.  "There's someone 
over there," she whispered.  "We need to make sure it's not 
a burglar or something."

	Tenma nodded, as did Yakumo.  Together, they crept 
over, following the woman, who looked vaguely familiar to 
Sara.  But only vaguely.

The woman went around a corner of the building and 
they found she was gone when they came around.  Sara 
blinked.  "The roof?"

Tenma scrambled up a tree.  "No sign of her."

Sara scratched her head.  "We couldn't ALL imagine 
her, right?"

"I can't see how," Yakumo said hesitantly.  She tried 
to look for thoughts, just in case the woman was invisible.  
For a moment, through the nearby window, she felt 
something, almost a positive absence of mind.  She peered 
in through the window, and saw three suitcases scattered 
around, all open with clothing and cameras and umbrellas 
and books and jackets all over the place.    

No sign of a person, though.

"I can't see her anywhere," Tenma said.

"It must have just been Sagano-sempai wandering 
around or something," Sara said hesitantly.  She got out her 
phone and called Nakamura.  "Nakamura-san, there might 
be a burglar in the house, though probably we just saw one 
of us going inside."

 	"I'll check it out," he said.  "Thank you."

	"No problem," Sara said.  "Good luck!"

	"And you as well.  Farewell."

	Tenma had come down out of the tree, and Sara now 
dragged them both towards an open patch of moonlight.  
Tenma was half-gibbering.  "No...no..."

	Sara had to fight the urge to laugh.  "It's just 
moonlight.  There's no danger."

	Yakumo advanced hesitantly, wondering what it 
would feel like if there was a curse.  Would it be like when 
she was a boy?  That could get very messy.

	Sara finally managed to drag Tenma into the 
moonlight; Tenma froze up as the moonlight hit her, 
seeming to calm.  Yakumo felt her skin tingle gently, but 
she thought she might be imagining it.

	Yakumo looked up at the moon and tried to tell if she 
was turning into a lesbian.  But she wasn't sure what to look 
for.  I wish I could read my own mind, she thought.

	Tenma straightened up and relaxed; she looked a little 
older and more mature to Sara, though physically she was 
the same.  Or at least, Sara thought she was.  Tenma 
stretched.  "Good, everything works," she said.

	Yakumo tried studying Tenma's mind.  Tenma was 
busy being impressed with her own body.  She didn't seem 
particularly filled with girllust.

	Until she looked at Sara, at which point Tenma's mind 
briefly flickered with an image of Yakumo and Sara kissing 
gently which made Yakumo blush.

	Tenma looked over at her, then she said, "Yakumo-
chan, are you thinking about kissing Sara?"

	Yakumo nodded dumbly, trying to think about kissing 
Kenji instead, though somehow she found herself kissing 
Eri in her mind also.  Which really hadn't been the plan.

	"See, I told you," Tenma said to Sara.  

	Sara looked a little flustered.  "I have a boyfriend," she 
said.  "And Yakumo-chan has a boyfriend.  Who probably 
wouldn't kiss each other."  She sounded a little regretful 
about that.  "Anyway, you don't feel like a lesbian, do you, 
Yakumo?  You still want to kiss Kenji, right?"

	Yakumo thought about it and nodded.  "Yes."

	"And Eri?" Tenma asked.

	Blushing, Yakumo nodded.

	"Hah!  There you go," Tenma said.

	Sara rubbed her forehead.  "Tsukamoto-san, I think it's 
all in your head."

	"But now my sister is thinking about kissing a girl!" 
Tenma said.  "Ergo, the curse is rising."

	"Maybe only Oneechan is cursed," Yakumo said 
thoughtfully.

	"I can bite Sara a little and we can see if it passes on.  
Or maybe Yakumo-chan should bite her since you're closer 
friends."

	"..."

	They then heard someone approaching.  "Burglar!" 
Tenma said.  "Come on out, burglar!"

	Asou stepped out into the light.  "It's just me.  
Nakamura-san said you saw a burglar, and I thought I 
should come out, in case it's dangerous."

	Sara came over and took his hand, smiling.  "Thank 
you, Hiroyoshi-san."

	"You don't mind if we bite your girlfriend to see if the 
curse of werelesbianism is contagious, do you?" Tenma 
asked.

	"..."  Asou stared mindlessly at Tenma.

	"Ne, oneechan, I don't think he wants us to turn his 
girlfriend into a lesbian," Yakumo pointed out.

	She could see Asou's mind whirl with various images 
of Sara and Yakumo kissing each other, followed by a 
definite sensation of him getting a grip on himself.  "What 
are you talking about?" he said nervously.

	Sara said, "Tsukamoto-san is just being silly."

	"I'm not being silly!," Tenma said, then continued, 

Even a woman who is pure in heart
And says her prayers by night,
May become a lesbian when the thunder booms,
And the full moon is bright.
  
	"So there," Tenma finished.  "It is an inescapable 
curse!"

	Asou looked at Sara.  "Curse?" 

	"I'm not seeing a curse," Sara said.  "I think 
Tsukamoto-san's imagination is running away with her."

	"Well, once Yakumo bites you, you'll understand!" 
Tenma said.

	"But I don't want to bite Sara-chan, oneechan," 
Yakumo said.

	"Fine, I'll bite her," Tenma said, striding forwards.

	Asou stopped her advance with a palm to her 
forehead.  "No biting my girlfriend."

	"But...it's all true!" Tenma wailed.  "But no one will 
let me prove it!"

	"Fine," Asou said.  "You can bite me, and we'll see if I 
turn into a lesbian."

	"But...you're a guy!" Tenma said.  

	"Are we going to be sexist about it?  Why can't a guy 
be a lesbian too?" Asou said.  He'd decided the only way to 
fight insanity was insanity.

	"But..."  Tenma turned to Yakumo.  "Guys can't be 
lesbians, can they?"

	Sara said, trying to not laugh, "We really shouldn't be 
discriminatory."

	"Okay, I'll bite Asou then.  And when he turns lesbian, 
we'll know the curse is real!"  Tenma walked over.  "Take 
off your glove."

	He did so and she lifted his hand to her mouth, then 
opened wide.  Then she paused. "You have washed your 
hands since the last time you used the bathroom, right?"

	"..."

	"I mean, I don't know where this hand has been," 
Tenma said.  She ran a finger across it.  "Oooh, your skin is 
so soft."

	"I know where it's been," Sara said, then giggled.

	Yakumo blushed at the mental images which followed 
that statement.

	"My hand is quite clean," Asou said.  "Are you going 
to bite me or not?"  

	"Well, I..."  Tenma looked a little nervous.  "I suppose 
biting you will hurt.  You, that is."

	"Are you going to bite me or not?" Asou said.  "I can't 
start my lesbian rampage if you don't bite me."  His voice 
had a strong current of sarcasm.

	Tenma began to vibrate nervously.  "Well, I, uh, 
umm..."

	"I can try biting you if THAT would do it," Asou said, 
now sounding more amused.

	"Karasuma-kun may not be happy if I bite another 
guy," Tenma mumbled.

	"Do you normally bite him?" Asou asked.

	"No, no, he's not for eating.  Or infecting," Tenma 
said, looking around.  "I think I hear ninjas."

	"Ninjas," Asou said.

	"NINJA BOO!" Suga said, stepping into the light with 
Satsuki.  "You guys having a hand-holding party in the 
woods?"

	Tenma hastilly let go of Asou's hand.  "I wasn't going 
to bite him to infect him with were-lesbianism or 
anything!" she said, panicked.

	Suga laughed.  Satsuki said, laughing, "Oh, it's a 
terrible thing, it is."

	"You're not one too, are you?" Tenma asked.

	"Of course," Satsuki said, laughing more.  "Suga too, 
of course."

	Suga made wolf noises, smirking.

	"You're making fun of me," Tenma said, hands on her 
hips.

	"If you were really a were-lesbian, wouldn't you be 
hitting on me or Satsuki?" Sara asked Tenma.

	"Well, I already have some girlfriends," Tenma said.  
"I think this will help Yakumo when she marries Eri."

	Yakumo blushed a little, staring at the ground and 
mumbling.

	"You know, I was kind of wondering about that," 
Suga said.

	"Well, Eri can turn into a boy and Yakumo can kiss a 
girl, so it should all work out," Tenma said.  "And it will set 
Eri free without Kenji having to cheat on Yakumo."

	"But wouldn't Yakumo be cheating on Harima?" 
Satsuki asked, idly jingling keys around her fingers.

	"No, you see, a girl can have multiple girlfriends and 
one  boyfriend and a boy can have multiple boyfriends and 
one girlfriend, but they can't double up on the single," 
Tenma said, drawing a snow diagram to illustrate.  "See, 
for example, Asou has Suga as a boyfriend and Sara as his 
girlfriend, so that's okay since Asou isn't trying to date 
Satsuki too, but if Kenji dates Yakumo and Eri at the same 
time, it's a doubling, which is MONKEY WORK."

	"But if Yakumo is dating Harima and Sawachika at 
once..." Satsuki said, foolishly charging in with 'logic'.  

	"Completely different than Kenji dating both of them," 
Tenma said firmly.

	"So would Sawachika dating Harima and Yakumo be 
equivalent to Yakumo dating Harima and Sawachika, 
then?" Satsuki asked.

	"Yes," Tenma said.  "But Eri-chan couldn't date, say, 
Kenji and Hanai at the same time."

	"But she could date, say, you, Suou-sempai, and 
Takano-sempai all at once?" Satsuki asked.

	Suga just shook his head, grinning.

	"Well, we are girlfriends," Tenma said.  "So I wasn't 
counting us into it."

	Yakumo listened quietly.  Adult relationships were so 
complicated.

	"Does that mean Hanai-sempai has Masahiro-san as 
his boyfriend and Suou-sempai as his girlfriend?  What 
about Miki-san?"

	Tenma rubbed her forehead; she seemed to be doing a 
complex math equation in her head.  Yakumo watched her 
sister's thoughts whirl around.  "We'll have to consult with 
Miko-chan, as I'm not sure of the rules surrounding that, 
with four people and all."  She got her phone out.

	"She may be busy," Asou said, starting to worry about 
whether this was going to sink into psychosis again.  The 
werelesbianism had been forgotten, at least.

	Mikoto answered the phone.  "Hello, Tenma-chan."

	"Hi, Miko-chan!  Can you tell me, we're trying to 
figure out how things work with four people," Tenma 
asked.

	"Things?" Mikoto asked.

	"Well, see, a woman shouldn't have two boyfriends or 
it's monkeyism.  Ditto for a man with two girlfriends.  But 
you have two boyfriends, so we're trying to figure out what 
the monkey rules are with two couples like that," Tenma 
said.

	"..."

	"For example, could Asou date Satsuki and Sara at the 
same time while Suga is also dating both of them and 
they're each dating both guys?" Tenma asked.

	"..."

	Suga snickered, while Satsuki said, "Do we get to see 
Suga and Asou make out, then?"

	Asou's eyes crossed, and Sara giggled, giving Asou's 
hand a gentle squeeze to try to keep him from panicking.

	"Hello, Miko-chan?" Tenma asked.

	"It's complicated," Mikoto mumbled.  

	"Well, I have time," Tenma said, standing patiently.

	Suga sidled over to Asou.  "Shall we do some snow 
wrestling to excite our ladies?"

	"No!" Asou said.  "This is silly enough today without 
adding to it."

	"Wrestle, wrestle!" Satsuki began chanting.

	"Well, I...we...feet...and then...bed..." Mikoto babbled.

	"I'm not following your thoughts," Tenma said.  
"Whose feet in whose bed?"

	"It's just...Oh no, my boyfriend is carrying me away!  
Signal breaking up...up....up...."  Click.

	Tenma said, "I don't get it."  She scratched her head, 
antennae wiggling.

	Yakumo said, "Would anyone like some tea?  I think 
I'd like to have some."

	Tenma nodded.  "Let's go in and get tea, then I'll go 
meet with Mikoto to resolve things."

	"No wrestling?" Satsuki asked mournfully.

	"I think he's worn out from wrestling an angel and 
then me," Sara said.

	"Yes," Asou said quickly.  "Suga would be no 
challenge after that."

	"Oh come on, I could outwrestle...wait, an angel?," 
Suga asked.

	Sara smiled proudly.

	Asou mumbled incoherently.

	"Did Sara's god send him to kick your ass for taking 
one of his shrine maidens?" Suga asked.

	"Uh...sort of like that," Asou mumbled.

	"Man, and I thought I had it rough with Satsuki-san's 
dad," Suga said.

	Satsuki wondered where her father was, anyway.  She 
hoped he was okay.

***************

	Mr. Tawaraya looked around at the snow and forest 
and reindeer.  All of which were charging towards him.  
"What the...I thought it didn't snow in Mexico!"

	"This is a training montage.  You must punch them all 
out as part of your training to avenge Apollo Creed's death 
at the hands of Dolph Lungren," Mr. Gonzales said.

	The angry reindeer closed in closer.  

	Mr. Hanai said, "Who?  Who?"

	"I had to borrow this montage from Rocky 4," Mr. 
Gonzales said.  "But it should give us enough time for me 
to compile a better one from my movies."

	The reindeer gave great cries of anger as they came 
closer...closer...

	"I don't remember any reindeer attacks in Rocky 4," 
Mr. Tawaraya said, getting into something vaguely 
resembling a fighting stance.

	"I like to be creative.  Okay, I'll be back when I have 
the next one ready," Mr. Gonzales said.  

	Oh boy, Mr. Tawaraya thought.  

	Then the hurting began.

***************

	"Mikoto-san, why are you hiding under the bed?" 
Miki asked, kneeling down and looking.

	"I'm not here," Mikoto said, looking embarrassed.

	"You and Haruki-san didn't have a fight, did you?" 

	"No.  But I'm not here if anyone but him asks," 
Mikoto said.

	"Okay," Miki said, though she was still confused.  She 
rose and went to rifle through her suitcase, trying to find 
the novel she'd brought.  She was in the mood to sit down 
and relax and read.

	Tenma came in.  "Miki-san," Tenma said.  "Have you 
seen Miko-chan?"

	"No," Miki lied smoothly.  "Maybe she's skiing."

	Tenma frowned.  "She said her boyfriend carried her 
off, so I assumed..."

	Miki laughed softly.  "He's off with Masahiro, 
debating some boring academic thing."

	"Oh," Tenma said.  "Well, maybe you would know, 
though I'm not sure if I can ask you."

	"Do you seek the secret wisdom of college students?" 
Miki teased.

	"Maybe," Tenma said, walking over, while Mikoto, 
still under the bed, watched.

	Miki sat down at the table in the room and pulled 
Tenma a chair.

	Tenma smiled and sat down.  "I'm trying to figure out 
how the monkey rules apply with four people instead of 
three."

	"Monkey rules?" Miki asked.

	"You know, what makes someone a monkey," Tenma 
said.  She explained the rules she knew to Miki.

	Miki looked somewhat confused at the end, then said, 
"Oh, I see.  Well, the important thing is that once you're in 
college, there's a different set of rules."

	Mikoto wondered what Miki was going to claim.  

	"Oh, I see, I heard college was different," Tenma said.  
"I hear you get to pick your classes."

	"Exactly," Miki said.  "So it's just fine for college 
students to have a relationship like ours, so long as you 
keep it balanced with an even number of men and women."

	"AHH," Tenma said.  "But Mikoto-chan and Hanai-
san..."

	"We gave them the secret initiation, and they now 
count as college students," Miki said, fighting the urge to 
giggle.  

	Well, I suppose you could call it that, Mikoto thought, 
blushing.

	"Does this mean they get to choose their own classes 
next year?" Tenma asked thoughtfully.  "And not have to 
wear the school uniform?"

	"It's a secret, so they have to follow the normal 
protocols in school to blend in," Miki said.  "So we can't all 
sleep together on your school campus or people might 
figure out, but they can flash their College Conspiracy IDs 
if they have to."

	"Oooh, you get special conspiracy IDs?"  Tenma said 
excitedly.

	Miki flashed her college ID.

	"Coool...wait, I can be Professor Tenma, and she has a 
Ph.D., so..." Tenma began.

	Mikoto relaxed as things seemed to be moving away 
from group sex questions.

	"So if your boyfriend could do that, you could find 
two more college students, if you wanted to," Miki said.

	NO, NEVER PUT IDEAS IN TENMA'S HEAD, 
Mikoto thought.

	"So you have to be in college to do it with four, then," 
Tenma said.

	"Yes, you need to practice with couples in high 
school, start on threesomes, then work up to foursomes for 
college," Miki said.  "Just like you have to start a workout 
regimen with simple things, then move on to harder 
exercises over time."

	"Ahah!  That makes SO MUCH SENSE," Tenma said.  
"I get it!  So Hanai-san dating all those women at once, that 
was training to prepare for when he moved on with Mikoto-
chan to hook up with you two."

	"Exactly," Miki said kindly.

	"Suddenly, it all makes so much more sense," Tenma 
said, shaking Miki's hand and rising.  "Okay, I'm off to go 
see Eri now.  Bye!"

	She headed out.  Once she was far gone, Mikoto said, 
"Kami-sama is going to get you."

	Miki giggled.  "I couldn't help myself.  And really, 
you two are very mature and you'd make great college 
students."

	"You really think so?" Mikoto said.  "I'm not a good 
student."

	"Me neither, but I get by with my genius boyfriend's 
help," Miki said.  "I just wish you were graduating this year 
so we could all get an apartment together."  She drifted into 
a fond little fantasy.

	"Well, you're only freshmen, so you'll be in college 
still when we graduate, right?" Mikoto asked.

	"Yes," Miki said.  "We can do the apartment then.  But 
if we do get one, Haruki's father isn't allowed to come 
visit."

	Mikoto shivered a little, thinking about that.  "Do 
we...I mean...what is our relationship?"

	"I don't know a word for it," Miki said.  "I just don't 
want to stop."

	Neither did Mikoto, which was what made her so 
nervous.

****************

	"Eri-chan," Tenma said to Eri.

	Eri turned and said, "Yes, Tenma-chan?"

	"Do you mind if I sleep over with you?" Tenma asked.  
"I mean 'sleep' sleep, not seduce you in the night sleep."  
Even if she was thinking of it.  It was what were-lesbians 
wanted, right?  Whatever they might say, she was pretty 
sure she wouldn't have come to believe that for NO 
REASON AT ALL.  Not THIS time.

	Eri laughed softly.  "Sure.  It'll be nice to have some 
company."

	"Cool.  I'll go get my night stuff and come right back, 
okay?" Tenma said.

	"Okay," Eri said.  "I'll be waiting."

	Tenma ran off and Eri smiled.  This would be fun.

****************	

	Fuyuki stared at the mess in his and Sagano and 
Yuuki's room.  "Well, damn, what happened?"

	"I'm guessing someone broke in, but it doesn't look 
like they took anything.  The Tsukamotos reported a 
burglar," Nakamura said.  

	A quick check revealed nothing seemed to be missing, 
giving Fuyuki a lot of relief.  He would have been much 
less relieved if he'd remembered to look for the memory 
chip with the pictures...

**************

	Yukari took another picture of Imadori as he lounged 
insolently on his bed.  "Oooh, this is fun."

	"Yeah," he said, switching poses.  "I'll do some pics of 
you next."

	She grinned.  This was going to be a fun evening, she 
was quite sure.

**************

	It was really pointless to brush out her hair BEFORE 
bed, but nevertheless, Eri found it very relaxing to let 
Tenma slowly brush all the tangles out of her hair.  Eri had 
found, after a life of being pampered, that the most 
satisfactory pampering came from those who love you.  It 
would be her turn to do Tenma next, and she was looking 
forward to it.  Eri was not good at showing affection, but 
with Tenma, she could relax and let her guard down.  

	And she needed that.

	"I wish I had hair as pretty as yours," Tenma said.  
Brush, brush, snag, pull, ouch, smooth.

	Eri's head jerked slightly as Tenma worked through 
the snarl.  "Sometimes I like it very much.  But it does 
make me stand out."

	"Oh, your beauty would make you stand out even if 
you dyed it all my color," Tenma said.  "I kind of wish my 
hair was a little ligher, maybe auburn."

	"That's a nice color," Eri said, tensing again as Tenma 
hit another snag, then relaxing as it eased away.  "Why 
don't you dye it?"

	"I don't know," Tenma said.

	Eri laughed softly.  "I can see about getting you some 
dye tonight, and we could do it in the morning so you could 
look pretty for the party."

	Tenma smiled.  "Do you think Karasuma would like 
it?"

	"I think he would," Eri said.  

	"I wouldn't mind larger breasts too," Tenma said, 
sighing.  "Everyone takes me as a child too much."

	Eri frowned a little and turned to look at Tenma.  She 
really did hit a weird sort of intersection between adulthood 
and childhood in looks.  "But Karasuma loves your body 
the way it is," she said softly.

	Tenma turned a little red and her brush tangled up in 
Eri's hair.  She fumbled to extract it.  "Mama looked like 
me at this age and she grew up very beautiful, so I can still 
hope," Tenma said softly.  "You're already as pretty as your 
mother or prettier, though."

	Eri smiled at Tenma.  "Thank you.  You flatter me.  
But you're the one with a steady boyfriend."  She tried not 
to think about it too much; she didn't want to pummel 
Tenma with her brooding and depression.  

	"Well, you do have lots of girlfriends, right?" Tenma 
asked, resuming the careful brushing.  

	Eri said, "I'd go crazy without you all."  

	Something suddenly hit Tenma.  "Hmmm."

	This could not bode well, Eri knew.  She cocked her 
head slightly and tried to override the 'insight'.  "Are you 
looking forward to the parties?"

	"You can still do sorcery stuff, right?" Tenma asked.

	"It's dangerous and I'm reluctant to monkey with it if i 
don't have to, as I hardly know what I'm doing," Eri said.  
"So no magic if I can see any other way out."

	Tenma looked disappointed.  "I need to be sure 
whether I am a were-lesbian or not, and I think you could 
check with magic."

	"I'd probably turn us both into were-lesbian-cats or 
something and then Iori would come after us," Eri said, 
shivering.

	"Also, Asou claims he's a lesbian," Tenma said.  "And 
is it really that dangerous?"

	"He's being silly," Eri said.  "Anyway, I'm pretty sure 
there's no such thing as a were-lesbian.  You didn't get bit 
by a lesbian, did you?"

	"Couldn't it be a hereditary curse?" Tenma asked.

	"Did your mother ever chase women?" Eri asked.

	"Well, I wasn't paying attention," Tenma said 
thoughtfully, now working her way down to the long end of 
Eri's hair.

	"Much as I desperately wanted Onna-Harima's body 
and thought about Mikoto and you and Yakumo and..."  Eri 
paused, realizing she'd said WAY too much.  "That was the 
magic talking.  I was a boy, so it was natural for me to want 
women, right?"

	Tenma said, "And boy, you did."  She began working 
on a stubborn snarl.  

	Eri felt her hair jerk about.  She tried to listen for 
Otoko-Eri to snicker, but he was oddly silent.  She feared 
this meant another too much honesty attack.  "Well, now I 
want Kenji's naked body pressed to mine and..."  She put a 
hand over her mouth; she was pretty sure she shouldn't say 
that sort of thing.

	Tenma's pig-tails stood at attention.  "Naked 
Kenji...with Karasuma...their manly love..."  Her eyes 
started to glaze.  Then she whacked herself with the hair 
brush.  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be thinking about that!  I'm a 
lesbian right now, and I shouldn't be thinking about 
handsome, naked men writhing together and then we have 
no choice but to...I...eeee...."  Tenma whacked herself 
again.  "I'm good, I'm good."

	"Don't say perverted things," Eri said.  Though she 
does have more sexual experience than me and...  "If I was 
going to fantasize about two men doing it, I'd be fantasizing 
about maybe Kenji and Hanai-san or Kenji and Haruka 
or..."  She could see it in her mind's eye, Kenji and Haruka 
riding on a motorcycle, taking a bath together...with 
her...both of them...at once...and...

	Dammit, if Kenji could...no, that way lies madness, 
she told herself.  And no getting worked up for an 
audience.  Even if it would be SO HOT.  Haruka was so 
much like an even gayer Harry and the names were similar 
and...and...WHAT KIND OF CRAZY LOGIC IS THIS?

	Dammit, stop thinking about man-sex!, Otoko-Eri 
said.

	There was really only one possible response to that, 
which was to flood her mind with images of man-love.  
Even if only for the few seconds it took her to remember 
Tenma was here.

	"Maybe we should avoid sex," Eri mumbled.

	"Well, it wouldn't be fair of us to make love while all 
those competing for your hand can't," Tenma said, her 
voice wobbling.

	"..."

	Tenma grimaced.  "This is one stubborn snarl."  She 
laid on the brush with a will, and Eri's head jerked about.

	"You're joking, right?" Eri said nervously.

	"Well, if I am a were-lesbian, then I should want to 
sleep with you, but I'm a good girl, so I won't cheat on my 
boyfriend or make you cheat on whoever you end up with.  
Which will be Yakumo, of course."

	"..."

	"She can't lose, and her tender love will help everyone 
see the prettiest smiling side of you," Tenma said, now 
sticking fingers into the snarl to try to pull it apart.

	Eri's head bobbed again.  "Tenma, there are no were-
lesbians.  And you don't really want to...do you?"

	Tenma isn't really our type, though if she wasn't dating 
anyone, I might say yes, as I am kind of curious what she'd 
be like, Otoko-Eri said.  Also, NO MORE YAOI.

	"Well, we are girlfriends, right?  So it would be okay, 
if we wanted to.  But I won't push you," Tenma said.

	"Also, I can't marry your sister.  Even if I liked women 
like that, we still couldn't get married," Eri said.

	"That is why God created Vegas, where anyone can 
marry anyone any time in anything.  I think you'd make a 
better Elvis than Yakumo, though," Tenma said.

	"She just wants to keep me away from Kenji!" Eri 
said.  She didn't want to discuss this, but she wasn't good at 
shutting up.

	"But since you'll be her girlfriend and Kenji is her 
boyfriend, then you'll be near him a lot," Tenma said, 
finally killing the snarl.  She brushed out Eri's hair slowly 
to see if she was done.

	"But it's not, I mean...she doesn't want..." Eri began.

	"She wouldn't have entered the contest if she didn't 
want to marry you," Tenma said.  "I'm the one who 
impulsively does things, you know."  She finished off Eri's 
hair.  "Can you do me now?"

	Eri began to brush Tenma's hair, wondering if Tenma 
was right.  Surely she doesn't...then she thought about how 
her boyself and Yakumo had all those sweet, sweet kisses 
and how Yakumo had sometimes seemed to look 
appreciatively at her boy body and maybe she wants two 
boyfriends and...

	Eri had been happier being sure Yakumo was just 
spiting her.  She didn't want more confusion to think about.

**************

	"Are you sure it's safe?" Mai asked Tougo nervously.  
It was a beautiful, cool, moonlit night down at the beach.  
Everyone was in bed, and yet Mai worried someone would 
see them.  She worried, because having lost that night's 
poker game, she now had to wear the Sailor Moon costume 
again.  Sailor Moon wasn't even her favorite of the Sailors, 
but it did seem to be Tougo's...

	"Everyone passed out from being full and / or drunk," 
Tougo said.  "We'll be fine."  He twirled his cane.  "So long 
as we don't fall asleep on the beach, anyway."

	"Not this time," she said determinedly, twirling her 
fake moon rod.  

	Things went smoothly at first; she was getting scarily 
used to this.  They reached the middle of the beach and 
looked up at the moon together, his arm around her back.  
She fell into her role.  "Oh, Tuxedo Kamen my love, isn't 
this a beautiful night?"

	"Every night with you is a beautiful night, my dear 
Sailor Moon," he said softly, then produced a rose and 
handed it to her, tucking it into her hair.  (Or more 
precisely, her wig.)

	She smiled at that, then feigned sorrow.  "My magical 
heart crystal is running low on energy again.  I may be in 
trouble in our next fight."

	He gently stroked her broach with a finger; the touch 
activated 'gem' inside it glowed with a faint light.  "We 
must recharge it...with our love."  He leaned in closer and 
kissed her softly.

	She tried not to giggle, then briefly prayed that her 
nightmares where Buddha and Imadori's club filmed all 
these cosplay trists was a false dream.  She took his hand 
and rested it on her bosom over the gem, then slid her 
hands up to take off his coat and cloak and cast them to one 
side.  "Our holy, sacred love provides the source of my 
power.  Come to me, sweet prince, and let me know how 
you feel."
	
	She felt her body start to get excited as he moved his 
hand down to cup her left breast and stroke it, his other 
hand moving behind her to begin unzipping the back of her 
leotard top.  He kissed her lips, her throat, her shoulders, as 
he began to open her top.  "Let us open the gates of the 
shrines of love," he purred.

	His pants were down around his ankles and her top 
was about to flop off when they heard movement in the 
darkness.  They both froze up.

	"Making a mockery out of the defenders of the world 
is a crime against humanity!  Especially out on a public 
beach where everyone would think I'm some sort of crazed 
exhibitionist!" a woman shouted.

	They turned and saw five women in Sailor uniforms 
on a nearby roof.  

	Mai felt her brain explode, torn between a dream come 
true--meeting the real Sailor Senshi--and a nightmare--
being killed as a result of Tougo's lust for cosplay sex, 
which she certainly had never encouraged by making him 
dress up for her as well in special ways.  Never.  Sure, she 
had made him act out one of her Sailor Moon fanfics with 
her as Jupiter for once, but that didn't mean...it wasn't AS 
MUCH her idea, anyway...right?

	"My sweet Sailor Mai," Tuxedo Tougo whispered into 
her ears.  "I think that is our cue to RUN for our lives."

	They turned to run, even as the woman on the rooftop 
announced they would be punished in the name of the 
Moon.

	Sailor Mai took off at high speed, only to realize 
Tougo had tripped on his pants and fallen, and now the 
crazed sounding woman on the roof was about to blast him.  
She turned, running faster than she thought possible, then 
grabbed him and LEAPED out of the way of a surge of 
energy from the Moon Rod the woman held.

	"Come back here, you coward!  I'm going to spank 
you both!" Sailor Moon shouted.

	"Given what they're doing, I think they'd LIKE that," 
Sailor Mercury pointed out.

	"Mercury no ecchi!" Sailor Venus teased.  "LET'S 
RUN THEM DOWN!"

	Sailor Mai continued her sprint for freedom with a 
pack of angry Senshi after her.

*************
	
	"So you two really did..." Suga began.

	Asou said, "Yes."

	"Was she good?" Suga asked.  "Satsuki nearly killed 
me, but we had a good time."  He paused.  "Karen didn't 
advise you to wrestle that angel, did she?"

	"..."

	"I guess she and Harry are tough enough to take it, but 
I about got killed by my own girlfriend," Suga said, looking 
up at the moon.

	They were wandering around outside because Suga 
had wanted to talk 'in private'.

	"Well, she is tougher than you," Asou said casually.

	"Yeah," Suga mumbled, looking embarrassed.  "But 
it's the same with you, right?"

	Asou stared off across the snow.  "She's got 
supernatural powers, yes.  I keep wondering if I'll be able to 
keep up."

	"Hey, you beat an angel right?" Suga said, not liking 
to see Asou TOO broody.

	"Yeah," Asou said, sounding surprised.  "He may have 
thrown the fight once he got me to show more backbone, 
though."

	"Yeah, well, long as you don't end up damsel in 
distress all the time, it'll be cool, right?" Suga asked.

	"I hope so," Asou said.  "So what did you want to talk 
about, anyway?"

	"Just kind of curious what your first time was like," 
Suga said.  "And I want to tease you some."

	Asou laughed softly.  "It was very nice, but rose-
scented oil does have some drawbacks."

	"Too much rose smell?" Suga asked.

	"Yes," Asou said.  "But I think it better I be discreet 
about what we did."

	"Aww, come on, you can tell me," Suga said.

	Asou shook his head.  "It would embarrass Sara if she 
found out."

	"I'll have to winkle it out of her, then," Suga said.  
"You ready for the parties tomorrow?"

	"Well, one tomorrow, two on New Years," Asou said.  
"But yes.  It should be a lot of fun, assuming there are no 
riots."

	"Yeah," Suga said.  "I'm sure things won't get out of 
hand."

	Silence.

	"We're dead, aren't we," Suga said.

	"VERY dead."

***************

	Mai was feeling pretty proud of herself; she was 
managing to keep pace with the Sailor Senshi, who had 
magic, while she just had a handmade Sailor Moon 
uniform, a blonde wig, and a cheap plastic toy.  And 
Tougo, her pantsless boyfriend.  He'd ended up losing the 
pants entirely, so now he couldn't zip up if he wanted to.

	She wished she could call in some backup, but who 
was there to call?  Everyone was halfway across the planet!

	There was only one tiny hope.  If the stories were true.

	She dug out her cellphone.  It was time to hope Itoko-
sensei had chosen to go on a Hawaiian vaction and not 
skiing again.

*************

 	Karen was woken out of her attempts to sleep by dogs 
howling in the distance.

	She went to her window and stared off, but she 
couldn't see anything.

	Sighing, she got earplugs and tried to go back to bed.

	What's making the dogs all crazy, anyway, she 
wondered as she snuggled up to Harry.

***************

	Harima stood on a rock in the woods, the moonlight 
shining down on him.  He howled to the moon, with 
Tadakichi howling counterpoint.  One by one, more and 
more dogs poured out of the woods to surround them.

	"My canine brothers!" Harima said.  "The great beast 
Imadori is after my..."  He tried to figure out how to 
express what Eri was to him.  In dog, everything he tried to 
say came out as 'mate'.  "And he has enslaved great 
mountains of sausage which need to be eaten!"

	Chants of 'sausage, sausage, sausage' ran up and down 
the great pool of canines.

	"Tomorrow, we must assemble here and strike!  I beg 
your assistance against my foe, the enemy of all dogs!  HE 
LIKES TO DRESS UP AS A CAT!" Harima said.  

	The dogs went crazy over that, then one by one 
howled their assents.  The Cat-Boy would be 
DESTROYED and his sausage devoured.  This they did 
swear on the bones buried by their ancestors!

	Harima looked around at his army and smiled.  
Nothing could stop him now.

*************

	Mai had nowhere left to run.  They'd backed her into a 
dead end alley; Itoko hadn't answered the call, wherever 
she was.  She'd thought about calling Yuuki, who was class 
president now, but what could Yuuki do from Japan?  
Nothing, unless she was hiding some sort of teleportation 
power, anyway.

	"Well, it look like we will make a last stand together," 
Tougo said smoothly.  "STRIKE US DOWN AND WE 
WILL RISE MORE POWERFUL THAN BEFORE!" he 
shouted, bluffing.

	Sailor Moon looked over at Sailor Mercury, who 
reported, "He has no active magical power, nor is he a Jedi.  
Or a Sith.  Or a Formorian, for that matter.  Just a 
loudmouth, although..."  She frowned at her computer.  
"They both have a..."

	Everyone began gathering around Mercury to read 
over her shoulder, studying whatever they were reading.

	Mai closed her eyes.  Kami-sama, I beg of you, please 
save us!  I'll be good!  I'll do anything if you'll just keep us 
from getting this beating!  She prayed desperately.

	Offer accepted, a gentle female voice seemed to 
whisper in her ear.

	Suddenly, Mercury's computer began pinging wildly 
and Mercury looked panicked.  "Pop-ups everywhere!"

	Sailor Moon's eyes widened.  "PORN popups!  
Mercury no ecchi!  What have you been surfing, Mercury-
chan?"

	"I never surf for porn on a mission," Mercury said 
desperately.  "Report, come back here, no close all 
windows!  CLOSE ALL WINDOWS!"  She pounded away 
frantically as Venus and Mars began to laugh so hard they 
fell off the rooftop.  Jupiter just smiled, though one might 
notice she kept her eyes on the screen.

	Tougo pried a board loose on the fence behind them 
which closed off the alleyway, and then another.  "Let us 
exploit this chance to escape," he whispered.

	"I'm getting a SilverMac on my next powerup," 
Mercury mumbled as she typed desperately.

	And as she did, Tougo and Mai slipped away into the 
night. 
	
***************

	Buddha finished his early morning sound check.  "Are 
you sure the canned music will be enough when the other 
parties have live bands?"

	"Since the producers of Doujibirion never answered 
my letter asking them to loan me their composer and her 
orchestra, we'll have to make do with my extensive 
Doujibirion music collection and your general music," 
Imadori said.  "Also, this will give us UNIQUENESS, 
instead of looking like we're copying the other parties."

	"True," Buddha said.  "Though if you could sweet-talk 
Ichijou-san into a song or two..."

	"That bastard Harry has his claws into her.  I have to 
get rid of him," Imadori said, clenching his fists.

	"Well, I hesitate to tell you what to do, but sleeping 
with Yukari-sensei may not be the best approach to that," 
Buddha said.

	"Without her sweet consolation for my many 
sufferings, I would sink into madness.  And it would be 
unmanly of me to break her gentle heart," Imadori said, a 
hand to his forehead in a pose of long-suffering.

	'Gentle', Buddha thought.  She must only use that heart 
in private.  "Yes, but that sort of thing is why Ichijou-san 
dumped you for Mackenzie-san."
		
	"I'll make her understand, this I swear!" Imadori said.  
"I'm surprised you disapprove."

	"I didn't say I disapprove, I just said that your goals 
contradict each other," Buddha said.  "If you CAN get them 
both at once, more power to you.  I always thought you 
preferred the bustiest women, though."

	"Yukari-chan is busty enough to satisfy me, even if 
not perfect.  And Karen-chan...Karen-chan...I WILL NOT 
LET THAT BASTARD HAVE HER!"  He shook his fist at 
the heavens.

	Jealousy really is the strongest thing, Buddha thought.  
Stronger even than the survival instinct.  But he would 
watch Imadori's back.  He always did.

************** 
	
	"Do you have any plans for today?" Harima asked 
Yakumo.

	"I...well, I think we're all done planning...my party," 
she said softly, sitting on the bed.

	"Good," he said.  "We can catch up more on our 
manga.  It would probably be tacky of us to attend our 
rivals' parties, anyway."

	Yakumo said softly, "I want to see your party."

	His eyes widened slightly.  "Well...you're right.  You 
are my girlfriend," he said.  "We should go to each other's 
parties."

	She nodded, then looked out the window.  "Kenji-kun, 
do you believe in were-lesbians?"

	"Err, what?" Harima asked.  "What...women who turn 
lesbian when the moon is full?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Well...I've never heard of any such thing.  But magic 
can mess people way up, like who they like, so maybe, I 
guess," he said.  "Why do you ask?"

	She thought about that.  "Like you and Sawachika-
sempai.  Or me when I turned male."

	"Yeah," he said, shivering.  "That was awful."

	You loved it, Onna-Harima told him.  We had a huge 
amount of fun turning the tables.  And it's nice being 
chased, isn't it?

	Shut up, I'm not a monkey like you, he told his inner 
woman.

	She just laughed gently.

	"It was very..."  Yakumo shivered.  "Being a man is so 
different."

	"Yeah," Harima said, sitting down at the small table in 
their room and doodling idly.  "Ready to get to work?"

	Yakumo thought about Tenma's plans for their future, 
but she felt too nervous to bring them up.  "Yes, I am," she 
said.  She'd worry about dating Sawachika-sempai and 
were-lesbianism later.  Though really, it was seeming pretty 
likely that was just one of Onee-chan's fantasies.

*********** 

	"You'll help me wash my hair, won't you?" Tenma 
asked as she got out of bed, stretching.  

	"Of course," Eri said.  "Don't try anything funny," she 
half-teased, half-worried Tenma would try something crazy 
due to her fantasies.

	"Oh, I won't be a lesbian until the moon comes up 
again," Tenma said, very matter-of-fact.  "So it's just 
normal me."

	Eri sniffed the air.  No smell of saus...oh wait, 
Doujibirion was the theme.  That would sabotage itself 
without her having to intervene, thankfully.  "Let's go 
bathe, then."

	There was a knocking at the door.  Eri opened it 
narrowly, then saw it was Yoshidayama.  "Come in," she 
said.

	He stepped in, then saw Tenma and jumped back 
nervously.  "I didn't dream about anything gay at all!" he 
said very loudly.

	"I did," Tenma said.  "My boyfriend is so handsome," 
she said, smiling.

	"We're about to go bathe," Eri said to Yoshidayama, 
trying to use her eyes and eyebrows to convey the message 
'come back later'.

	He studied her, wondering if Tenma had given her 
epilepsy in the night somehow.  Probably mumbled about 
man-love into her ears all night.  He thought about his 
dreams and shivered.

	"Are you okay?" Tenma asked, looking worried.  "Is it 
after-affects of the duel?"

	It suddenly hit Yoshidayama that Tenma was probably 
one of only a very few people who really cared at all what 
happened to him.  Sure, she seemed to care about everyone, 
but still...no one else had helped him with all his troubles.

	He tried hard to focus his mind.  It wasn't easy being 
nice to someone he didn't want to seduce.  "Thank you, 
Tsukamoto-san.  I'm very grateful for your help," he 
managed to say.  

	She smiled brightly, and he felt a little better.  "You're 
welcome.  If you were a woman, I'd invite you to bathe 
with us, but you're not."

	"Yeah, well, that idiot Harima mistook me for a 
woman in the baths and tried to seduce me one time," 
Yoshidayama said.  Man, a bath with Sawachika would 
ROCK, but they'd never go for it if he was too eager.  He 
had to be SMOOTH.  Play on Tenma's weird ass mind.  

	Things clicked in Eri's head.  "Wait...did he yell about 
hating blondes after that?"

	Yoshidayama tried to think.  "Some punk ass insult 
like that."

	Another misunderstanding, Eri thought, frowning.  
"I'll see you later, Yoshi-san.  Tenma and I must bathe."

	"Well, I..." he began.

	Eri dragged Tenma off.

	"See you later, then!" he said.  For now, he would go 
see about working on his other woman before the party.

	He got as far as the door, when Buddha stopped him.  
"Time to set up the party," he said, cracking a whip.  "Go 
join Task Force Y."

	"But I got a woman to..." Yoshidayama began.

	"Those who do not work, do not get porn," Buddha 
said.

	Yoshidayama paled.  "Right to work, sir!"  He hustled 
off.

****************

	"Eri is going to try and confess to Kenji," Mikoto said 
to Hanai as they laid together in bed while Miki and 
Masahiro were taking a shower.  

	"What, did he get whacky amnesia and forget the 
party?" Hanai asked, confused.

	"No, but she was drunk.  People say crazy stuff when 
drunk," Mikoto said.

	"Like when Miki announced she was Queen of 
France," Hanai said.

	"Exactly," Mikoto said, idly running a hand up and 
down his arm.  "Anyway, we have to act as witnesses so 
she can't weasel out."

	"But what if he rejects her?" Hanai asked softly.

	"He's pretty clearly got a thing for her," Mikoto said.

	"And for Yakumo, his girlfriend," Hanai said.

	Mikoto frowned.  "Eri thinks that happened because 
everyone decided he was dating Yakumo," she said firmly.

	"Didn't we happen in part because everyone assumed 
we were dating?" he asked softly.

	Mikoto frowned more.  "Yes, but we'd always been 
close, ever since we were little."  She ran the hand across 
his chest.  "It's not the same."

	"Maybe," Hanai said.  "I just don't want to see 
Sawachika-san end up humiliated with her friends 
watching."	

	"C'mon, back me up," Mikoto said.  "She needs 
someone in her corner."  He'd better not be thin...no, he'd 
want Eri to take Kenji if he wanted Yakumo back on the 
market.  Don't be jealous, she told herself.

	"Okay, dear.  I just...it isn't always a happy ending like 
for us.  With confessions.  You know," he said softly, 
leaning over and kissing her.

	"Don't be a pessimist," Mikoto said.

	Miki startled them, saying, "Is Haruki-kun being a 
downer again?"  She stood at the end of the bed, wrapped 
only in a towel.

	"Yes," Mikoto said.

	"When Masahiro gets all mopey, I find it helps to 
tickle him, isn't that right, dear?" Miki said.

	"I don't get mopey," he said as he rustled in the closet.

	Miki laughed softly.  "Anyway, would you like me to 
demonstrate?"

	"I think I can handle tickling," Mikoto said, diving 
onto Hanai and tickling him until he could hardly stop 
laughing.

	This left them both fairly exposed at the moment the 
door knob rattled.

	They all froze in place, and then Akira said, 
"Breakfast is ready and who put glue on the doorknob?"

	"Hah!  It's spirit gum," Masahiro said.  "As I had a 
bunch left over from putting on our fake beards at 
Christmas.  Only the remover will take it off, and it'll keep 
anyone from walking in on us."

	"How are you going to get it out of the room to me 
while I'm stuck to the door and this is the only way out of 
your room?" Akira asked.

	"..."

	Miki slapped her forehead.

	"I guess we get dressed and climb out the window," 
Mikoto mumbled.

	"Please get to it before breakfast is cold," Akira said.

	They got to it.

****************

	Yuuki's phone rang and she answered it from bed with 
Fuyuki and Sagano still asleep around her, though now they 
were starting to stir.

	"Hello?" she asked.

	"Happy New Years' Eve, dear," her mother said.  
"When's your concert?"

	"Tomorrow morning," Yuuki said.

	"Good morning, Tsumugi-chan," Fuyuki said, kissing 
her cheek.

	"What was THAT?," her mother asked.  "It sounded 
like a boy."

	"Just the TV," Yuuki said nervously.

	"Hi, Yuuki-sama!," Sagano said at the phone.  "We're 
watching love-love TV and making out!"  

	Mrs. Yuuki laughed.  "Of course you are, Megumi-
san.  Are you showering my daughter with your sweet 
kisses?"  She was clearly amused and not taking the 
conversation at all seriously.

	"Every day and night!" Sagano said enthusiastically, 
kissing Yuuki.

	"That's nice," Mrs. Yuuki said.  "I always know my 
Tsumugi-chan is safe from predatory boys with you, 
Megumi-san."

	Fuyuki tried desperately to not breathe or make any 
noises.

	"I will let only sweet, kind, tender boys come near my 
Tsumugi-chan," Sagano said, grinning.  "Your daughter's 
sweet innocence is safe in my hands," she said, gently 
touching Yuuki's stomach.

	Yuuki took the hand and moved it up to her shoulder, 
just in case Sagano suddenly decided to try to be 'funny'.  
"We sleep together each night," she said into the phone.  
"Don't worry, Mom, I'm fine."  She hated lying to her 
mother, but she wasn't going to back down now, not when 
she finally had people who made her happy.

	"Just be careful dear, there are lots of boys who don't 
want anything but sex at your age and very few who are 
any good," Mrs. Yuuki said.  "You must be very careful."

	"Well, you like Fuyuki-kun, don't you?" Yuuki asked 
nervously.

	"He looks like a porn-worshipping pervert who 
photographs girl's panties," Mrs. Yuuki said.

	"I'm not..." Fuyuki began to instinctively protest, until 
Yuuki put a hand over his mouth.

	"What was that?," Mrs. Yuuki asked.

	"Just the TV," Sagano said smoothly.

	"You should throw him out of your band and get 
someone nice to replace him, like the Nara boy.  He looks 
to be neutered enough to be safe," Mrs. Yuuki said.

	Fuyuki fought the urge to laugh.

	Sagano said, "He's my BOYFRIEND.  He's kind and 
gentle and loves me and doesn't take pictures of women's 
panties unless I want him to."

	Mrs. Yuuki laughed.  "I know you'd never ask him to 
do that.  You're so funny."  Her voice turned serious.  "But 
really, you're better off waiting until college to find a man, 
Tsumugi-chan.  That class rep boy was just another 
womanizer from what my PTA friends tell me.  Three 
girlfriends at once!  What a complete gigolo like your 
Uncle the crossdresser."

	"He's NOT a crossdresser," Yuuki said a little angrily.

	"Anyway, he'd just use you for sex," Mrs. Yuuki said.  
"You should think about that Nara boy."

	"He's dating Takano-san," Yuuki said.

	"They're having mad, mad sex," Sagano said.

	"Well, don't be foolish like them," Mrs. Yuuki said.  
"Megumi-san, please watch over my daughter and keep her 
out of trouble."

	Deep in her heart, Yuuki wondered if her mother ever 
actually percieved Megumi or if she was always speaking 
to some imaginary Megumi in her mind, as she always 
seemed to think Megumi was the careful, wise one.

	Sagano wrapped herself around Yuuki.  "I will hold 
her tenderly in my arms, warding off all who would do her 
harm."

	"Good, I entrust her to your care in a world of 
dangerous men," Yuuki's mother said.  "Dear, sweet 
Megumi-san."

	Fuyuki began to black out from lack of air as he held 
his breath.

	"Bye, Mom," Yuuki said.  "We need to get up, get 
clean, and so on."

	"Yes, dear, proper hygiene is important.  You should 
make sure Megumi-san remembers to wash her hair 
thoroughly and brush it so it will be nice and shiny and 
smooth," Mrs. Yuuki said.

	"Of course I will, Yuuki-sama," Sagano said promptly.

	"You're such a dear," Mrs. Yuuki said.  "See you both 
when you come back."

	"See you, Mom," Yuuki said.  "Love you."

	"Love you too."  Click.

	Fuyuki flopped over, breathing hard.  "I hardly even 
know the woman!"

	"But she knows you so well," Sagano said, grinning.  
"Well, that went smoothly.  Yuuki-sama asked me to make 
Tsumugi-chan my lover, so I will."

	"That's not what mother meant," Yuuki said.  "And I'm 
going to have to remember to always use caller ID."

	"Words are nine-tenths of the law," Sagano said.  
"Anyway, you're right, we'd better go bathe before all the 
food gets eaten."

	They got up and headed off to the bathroom.

*****************

	Circling around to the doors, Masahiro and company 
found Akira standing with her back to them, hands stuck to 
the doors.  He strode forward, saying, "Sorry about that, but 
too many people kept walking in on us."

	"Understandable," Akira said.  "Thank you for 
proceding quickly to assist me."

	He soon got her unglued from the door.  "There you 
go."

	"I hope you're not mad," Mikoto said a little 
nervously.

	"I don't get angry," Akira said.

	This was true.

	She gets even, not mad.

******************  

	Mai was stumbling around her bedroom the next 
morning, trying to find her clothing and wake up.  She had 
to sleep alone, as her parents were here at the beaches of 
Hawaii with them, at night, anyway.  (During the day, her 
mother usually went shopping and her father was off at a 
business conference which was the excuse for them to be 
here on company money.)

	She knocked some stuff over and found a wrapped 
package.

	Sagano's present!  I forgot to put it under the tree and 
open it!

	She put it on the bed so she wouldn't forget, then 
found some clothing and got dressed.

	"MAI-CHAN!  Your friends are here for breakfast 
with Aino-sensei!" Mai's mother shouted.

	She left the package behind and stumbled out to the 
kitchen; Tougo was there with Mai's mother, also named 
Mai.  Mai senior had long black hair like her daughter, but 
she let it flow freely; she was wearing a hawaiian shirt and 
a long skirt down to just above her ankles, with sandals.  As 
usual, she wore too much jewelry.  Aino-sensei, Minako, 
Ami, Rei, Usagi, and Makoto were there as well, all 
pigging out on pancakes, eggs, fruit, bacon, coffee, and 
orange juice.  The younger set, except for Tougo, all looked 
very tired, while the adults were both perky.  Tougo just 
looked smug as usual.

	"I made your eggs with the ketchup just the way you 
like it," Mai's mother said.  

	Mai smiled and got some eggs, pancakes, bacon, and 
sliced apple with a big mug of coffee.  She sniffed it; 
fortunately, it was still black and her mother hadn't added 
twelve tons of milk, sugar, or cream yet.  She added just a 
little milk and sugar, then sat down by Tougo.

	Across the table, Ami was typing on a laptop with one 
hand, listening to music on headphones, and eating with the 
other, while half-listening to Usagi ramble about UFOs.  
Mai noticed the laptop was one of those Mercury Edition 
laptops with the big Mercury symbol on it.  Mai shook her 
head; she'd wanted one of those, but they seemed to tack on 
another 60,000 yen to the price just for the logo and some 
Sailor themed icons and a Sailor Trivia game.  Ami dressed 
like she had money to burn, though.

	"Internet addict?" she teased.

	"No, I'm trying to clean it up after a virus attack and a 
bunch of spyware problems," Ami said.

	"She downloaded some infected porn," Minako teased.  
"Ami no ecchi."

	Ami turned red, and Mai laughed, along with Minako 
and Makoto.  

	Aino-sensei shook her head sadly.  "I'm sure I could 
fix it for you, Ami-chan."

	"I'm fine," Ami mumbled.

	Tougo looked thoughtful.

	Must be a lot of that going around, Mai thought.  
Those things probably have some kind of hardware 
vulnerability, given Mercury herself got infected last night.  
Another reason to not buy one.  Even if it would be cool.

	She wondered, idly, how big the cut the Sailors got of 
the merchandising.  It's probably how they pay to keep 
making all their new magical devices, Mai thought.

	I wonder if they could use a business manager, Mai 
thought.  But they probably have one, and they likely want 
to kill me.

	Usagi yawned loudly, then faceplanted herself into her 
pancake and eggs and jelly, which she had mixed together 
and formed something resembling a volcano with.

	"You all look worn.  Did you party too hard?" Tougo 
asked thoughtfully.

	"We burned the town down," Minako said, yawning.

	Makoto said, "Want to party with us tonight, you 
two?"  She looked straight at Tougo as she said this.  

	Mai felt her blood boil at that.  She won't have him, no 
matter how tall, muscular, and busty she is, Mai thought.  
At least I can keep up in the latter...

	"Sure," Tougo said.  "We don't have plans."

	DAMMIT, Mai thought.  How am I going to keep this 
vulture away from my man?  

	"Cool," Makoto said.  "Come on down to our place at 
6; I'll be cooking."

	"I look forward to it," Tougo said, smiling confidently.

	You are SO going to be Aragorn tonight, Mai thought.  
Oh yes, you will.

*****************

	Yuri studied her yukata again.  "Are you sure this is 
okay?"

	"My family isn't fantastically rich or anything," Tae-
sensei said.  "You look beautiful and they'll appreciate it."

	"You look fine," Tani-sensei said.  He and Tae were in 
yukatas as well as they rode on the train.  "So your folks 
moved out to the country?"

	"Yes," Tae-sensei said.  "They bought a beach house 
and now Dad fishes and Mom writes.  It's very peaceful, 
and after the anarchy of your home town, it'll be nice."

	Yuri and Tani-sensei both looked embarrassed.

	Tae-sensei put a hand to her mouth.  "I'm sorry, that 
came out harsher than I meant it to.  I'm not mad."  Not 
TOO mad.  "Except maybe about the group exorcism."

	"Old Man Hino...you just can't stop him once he gets 
started," Tani-sensei said, laughing nervously.

	"Remember the time he decided that the statue of the 
Emperor was possessed by Emperor Go?" Yuri asked, 
smiling.

	"I never thought I'd pity a statue," Tani-sensei said, 
laughing loudly.

	Tae-sensei watched them banter about incidents from 
their past.  She felt just a touch jealous they had so much of 
a shared past.  But she was determined to focus on building 
future memories with them.  And she and Tanisa had some 
shared memories as well that Yurippe didn't have.  

	Look to the future, she told herself.  Too much of her 
own past was better off forgotten, anyway.

	"So, he was chasing Goro through the street when..." 
Tani-sensei was saying when Yuri's phone rang.

	She blinked and answered, "Moteuchi Yuri, good 
morning."

	"Hi, Yuri-sensei, this is Yuuki Tsumugi," Yuuki said.

	Yuri smiled.  "Hello, my fellow harem ninja."  She 
laughed softly.  She'd hated going to that world at first, but 
now she kind of missed it.  The adventures were wonderful 
and she'd finally felt like she was something special there.  
"How is your vacation?"

	"It has gone well so far," she said, not wanting to 
admit how much of a disaster it had been.

	"We're having fun too," Yuuki said.  "There's going to 
be some New Years' parties here at Sawachika-san's 
lodge."

	"That should be nice," Yuri said, smiling.  "So what 
did you need to ask me about?"

	"I...we...well..."  Yuuki felt a growing sense of panic.

	"Did you and Fuyuki-san and Sagano-san finally get 
together?" Yuri asked.

	"Oh, did they?" Tae-sensei asked, perking up.

	Tani-sensei rubbed his forehead.

	"I...you...how did you guess?" Yuuki asked weakly.

	"Sagano-san has been trying a while, and I assume 
you called me because I was a lot like you at your age," 
Yuri said.  "And I still am, really," she said softly.  
"Worried about the future?"

	"My parents are going to kill me, kill me, kill me, then 
kill my...boyfriend and my...girlfriend, too," Yuuki said 
mournfully.

	"Well, my parents took it poorly too," Yuri confessed.  
"They're not happy at all.  But soon, you'll be on your own 
and they won't be able to tell you what to do.  But for now, 
it's best to just keep it quiet and avoid a fight with them that 
you can't win."

	Yuuki nodded.  "Yeah."

	"If the PTA ever finds out, we will all die," Tani-
sensei mumbled.

	"We'll be fine," Tae-sensei said, kissing his cheek.  
"Does she need sex advice?"

	"Tae-chin wants to know if you need sex advice," Yuri 
said to Yuuki.

	Yuuki mumbled incoherently.  
	
	"That's probably a yes.  I'll pass you to her."  

	Yuri passed the phone to Tae-sensei, and soon, Yuri 
was glad the train didn't have too many people on it.

*******************

	"Ahah!  So THIS is where Lupin has been hiding," 
Inspector Zenigata said as he studied the pictures.

	"Sir, our intelligence report indicates that's the 
Sawachika family heiress, NOT Lupin III," Detective 
Kobayashi said.  

	"We already had one chase with him earlier in the 
month, as you should remember.  I'm sure the Sawachika 
heiress would not have been roaming the countyside with a 
rifle, robbing and stealing," Zenigata said.

	"We found no evidence of robbery or theft connected 
to her, sir," Detective Kobayashi said firmly.  

	"Furthermore, we have further evidence of the rest of 
his gang.  Here is Jigen."  Zenigata pointed to a picture of a 
tall, muscular teenager with a thick beard.  

	"Our report says his name is 'Harima Kenji', and he's 
just a delinquent, sir," Kobayashi said, feeling himself 
growing more desperate.  This was worse than one of his 
daughter's fits of fancy.

	Distantly, the mailwoman began to approach, moving 
cubicle to cubicle through the cubicle farm, dropping off 
packages and mail.

	"Goemon," Zenigata continued.  This picture showed 
a dark haired young man with glasses, wearing a hakama.  

	"First of all, he's missing a sword and secondly, his 
name is 'Hanai Haruki', heir to the Haruki family dojo," 
Kobayashi said, hoping maybe, somehow, he would 
penetrate his boss' mind.

	"And finally, their disguise expert, Fujiko," he said, 
spreading out an array of pictures which showed a red-eyed 
young brunette in a variety of costumes.  

	"Sir, her name is Tsukamoto Yakumo and she wears 
those at the cafe she works at," Kobayashi said.  "Wherever 
Lupin is, whatever he is doing, I am QUITE SURE that 
these kids have no connection to those four.  They haven't 
even been seen since the seventies!  I think it's time to close 
this investigation."

	"IT IS NEVER TIME TO CLOSE THIS 
INVESTIGATION!," Zenigata said.  "I cannot rest until I 
bring those scoundrels to justice!"

	Kobayashi sighed.  This is what I get for trying to 
buck for a promotion.  I could have just sat back and let my 
wife the rich author take care of me, but nooooo, I had to 
try and get a higher title and now I'm chained to an old 
madman and his damnfool idealistic crusade.

	Zenigata looked through the report.  "Gangster party.  
GANGSTER party?  COULD THEY BE ANY MORE 
OBVIOUS???"

	"..."

	"The only thing which could taunt me any further 
would be if they sent me an invitation," Zenigata said.

	"I'm sure they wouldn't want to draw attention to 
themselves," Kobayashi said.  

	A single piece of mail fell onto Zenigata's desk, a very 
fancy envelope in which he found a formal invitation to 
'The New Years' Gangster Ball' at the Sawachika Mountain 
Lodge.  

	I hate the universe, Kobayashi thought.

	"LUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIINNNNNN
NNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*************

Eri sneezed, then surreptitiously wiped her nose.  I'd better 
not come down with a cold, she thought.  Karen and Harry 
now caught up with her, as did Akira and Nara.  "You 
okay?" Karen asked.

	"Just sneezing," Eri said.  "Everyone up for another go 
since I won this one?"

	"Karen and I are going over to the other lodge to kick 
Hanai's ass," Harry said.

	Karen looked slightly embarrassed.

	"Why?" Akira asked.

	"We're just sparring," Karen said, then paused.  
"Where is Lala?"

	They all looked around, then looked up the slope, 
where they could see Lala had stopped and was looking 
around.

	Eri shouted, "Is something wrong?"

	"I just have this ominous feeling," Lala shouted down 
the slope.  "I think Father is up to something."  She 
frowned.

	"What, is he here?" Karen shouted.

	"No, but..."  She frowned.  "Probably nothing."

	"Okay, we're gonna come up and do another race," Eri 
said.

	"RACE YOU TO THE TOP!" Lala said and took off 
at high speed.

	Yeah, there's a fair race, Eri thought, but she gave it 
her best anyway.

**************

	A casual observer would have noticed that Dracula 
and the Wolfman looked suspiciously like Asou and Suga.  
Or that Santa Claus looked rather like Mr. Hanai in a Santa 
suit.  However, Mr. Tawaraya was in too much of a haze of 
pain, muscle aching, movie flashbacks, beer, and tacos to 
think very rationally.  

	He could hear the voice of Mr. Gonzales in his head.  
"I constructed this training montage out of several of my 
favorite films.  You will be taking my own role, El Zorro 
Platado, while Mr. Hanai assists you in several roles."  He 
wasn't sure if he was flashing back or if any of this was 
real.  It might just be a dream as he slept on the couch after 
a movie marathon.  By this point, he wasn't sure what was 
and wasn't reality.

	"You cannot save your daughters from us!  They will 
become monsters of the night just like us!," Wolf-man 
Suga announced, holding an oddly dark-skinned Satsuki 
with one arm as she cuddled up to him, while Dracula-
Asou had Sara in a Santa suit in his arms.  

	"No, you'll never take my daughter's innocence!" Mr. 
Tawaraya shouted.  He had the vague feeling he was 
copying movie dialogue, but it expressed what he felt.  
These teenage boys were all beasts and had to be kept away 
from his daughter!

	"Too late," the Wolfman-Suga said, reaching down to 
bite her.

	"TASTE MY WRATH!" Mr. Tawaraya shouted, then 
threw a basketball at Wolfman-Suga's head.

	Mr. Hanai-Claus blinked.  This wasn't part of the plot.

	Wolfman-Suga got knocked down and lost his grip.  
"Say what?"

	"We will defeat you in two-on-two basketball, and 
then we will take our daughters and leave!," Mr. Tawaraya 
said.

	Oh ho, Mr. Hanai-Claus thought.  We've been 
neglecting to play to his strengths.  Hmm, yes, this should 
show us a better way...

**************

	Karen felt very nervous, facing off with Hanai and 
Mikoto, as she knew how tough they both were.  But Harry 
really wanted this, and she could use some practice, as 
she'd been slacking off, really.

	"So are we going to do this tag-team style or what?", 
Mikoto asked.  They'd cleared space in the living room for 
a match; many of the others were gathered around to watch.

	"Mixed doubles.  Each couple must remain in physical 
contact whenever touching the ground," Harry said.

	"Hmm, interesting," Hanai said.  

	He now moved to take Mikoto's left hand with his 
right, while Harry did likewise with Karen.  Karen licked 
her lips nervously, then let Harry take the lead.  Harry 
charged at Hanai, pulling Karen along, then at the last 
second, brought her up into the air, over Mikoto's powerful 
punch, while he blocked Hanai's effort to kick him in the 
gut.  He then brought Karen down on Hanai to grab him 
with her legs, after which he rolled back, trying to flip 
Mikoto and Hanai into the air where they could be more 
easily severed.

	Hanai grabbed Karen's leg, however, just long enough 
to pull her and Harry along and they all tumbled messily, 
sending the audience scampering for cover.

	As Harry tried to get up, Mikoto swung Hanai around, 
his legs driving into Harry's upper torso, sending him and 
Karen tumbling again.  

	Harry now moved into a defensive pose with Karen, 
trying to assess his options as his sister cheered for him.  
Which made him a little nervous, as she'd usually tease him 
during this sort of thing.  Either she thought he REALLY 
needed the support or...

	He was still contemplating his sister when Hanai 
kicked him in the gut.  Fortunately, Karen grabbed 
Mikoto's foot, being more alert, and turned, swinging Hanai 
and Mikoto around to toss them to one side.

	Mikoto bounced off the floor and drove for an assault, 
reconfiguring to basically use Hanai as a pile-driver against 
Karen.  This got them grabbed and thrown and kicked in 
the butt by Harry, however.

	Karen felt herself relaxing, sliding more into 
automatic combat mode as things heated up.  Years of drill 
with her father had taught her much, whenever she let it 
out.

	Akira sat by Harima, working with a notepad and 
calculator; Tenma and Yakumo sat to Harima's left; Nara 
and Jenny to Akira's right.  "Don't forget, we all have to go 
to bed early, so that we can get up at 4 AM to go set up 
your party."

	Harima groaned, watching Mikoto and Hanai drive 
back Harry and Karen with a series of synchronized kicks.  
"Ugh, early mornings suck."

	"Yes, but there's no escaping it," Akira said crisply.  
"We'll need to be ready for when the pachinko machines 
arrive."

	Harima rubbed his hands.  "We got a sweet deal on 
those."

	"Yes, I did," Akira said, jotting down a few more 
calculations.  She ducked Nara and Jenny down as Harry 
and Karen went flying over them.  "And all the prizes have 
to be set up.  Also, is everything packed?"

	Jenny said, "You can do better than THAT, brother!"

	"Fight with your full power!" Lala shouted from 
across the room.

	Stupid mornings, Harima thought.  "It's packed," 
Harima said.

	"We should go check," Akira said, rising.

	"Come on, we have a great fight to watch!"

	As Hanai and Mikoto charged at Harry and Karen, he 
flipped up to hang from the rafters, holding Karen's legs; 
she then grappled Hanai as he charged at them with Mikoto 
and they began to wrestle in the air, while Mikoto dangled.

	Harima sighed.  "Do we have to?"

	"Do you wish to forget something and lose to Imadori-
san?" Akira asked, pulling Nara up as well.  

	Slave labor time, Nara thought, then paused.  "Is your 
mother coming, Akira-san?"

	"Hmm?  I suppose she would enjoy the party, if she 
can get out here in time," Akira said.  "I should ask, just to 
be sure."

	Nara nodded.

	"Is your Mother much like you?" Harima asked.

	"Yes," Nara said.

	I am so fucked, Harima thought.

*************
	
	Mai looked over at Tougo, who was seated on the 
couch with her; they were still somewhat tired from their 
previous night's adventure, so now they were hanging out 
before the evening's party.  Tougo had a look of being lost 
in thought which the movie 'Robin William's Bad National 
Lampoon Ripoff' really didn't merit.

	"Yen for your thoughts," she said.

	"I have a theory," he said.

	"Would you like to share it?" she asked.

	"Not yet.  It is still percolating, and I'm not sure of the 
use of it yet," he said.

	She frowned.  "You can trust me, dear."

	"I will sound an idiot if I guess wrong," he said.

	She laughed.  "I see."

	"I am thinking it best if we stick to non-Sailor cosplay 
a while, though," he said.

	"Yes," she said.  "It's time for the LOTR costumes."

	He winced.  "I'm not going to have to dye my hair 
blonde again, am I?"

	"We'll save that for the next time you're a REALLY 
naughty boy," she said.  

	"What constitutes 'really naughty'?" he asked 
teasingly.

	"Anything Mother would throw you through a wall for 
doing," Mai said, laughing.

	"So, breathing counts," he said nervously.

	Mai laughed again.  "Oh, she likes you.  She just likes 
to tease."

	"I wish I could tell what your Father thinks," Tougo 
said, settling back thoughtfully again.

	"I'm not sure.  I think he hasn't fully registered you 
exist," Mai said, sighing.  "Some days, I'm surprised he 
notices Mom, he's so busy."

	"Isn't your Mom usually busy too?" Tougo asked.

	"Yes, but she at least treats vacations as vacations."  
Mai sighed.  "I just can't seem to get him to pay any 
attention to me, whatever I do."

	"Some guys are like that," Tougo said.  "But I promise 
you, I will pay you more attention than you can stand."

	Mai cuddled up to him.  "Thank you, honey."

	He kissed her forehead and sank back into silence as 
they finished watching the terrible movie.

************* 

	Hanai, Mikoto, Harry, and Karen lay exhausted on the 
floor after a long match.  "So who won?" Harry asked.

	"I don't know, were we going by points or what?" 
Mikoto asked.

	"I'm just glad I don't have to sing until the morning," 
Karen said.  "As I may just sleep here on the floor."

	We definitely have a ways to go, Harry thought.  But 
this was a good start.  He staggered to his feet.  "I'll carry 
you home," he said.

	"Thank you," she said, soon falling asleep in his arms.

	"You gonna carry me home, Haruki-kun?" Mikoto 
asked Hanai.

	"Maybe when I remember how to walk."

************
		
	"Why don't I get a costume?" Yoshidayama 
demanded.

	"The hood can't fit over your head," Imadori explained 
patiently.

	"There's nothing wrong with..." Yoshidayama began.

	Imadori poked his hair.

	"Oh."

	"Hmm, actually, we can dress you up in a Futile Earth 
Self-Defense Force uniform; it's hoodless," Imadori said.

	"YEAH," Yoshidayama said.  "Give me some Futility 
action!"

	Sometimes, it's too easy, Imadori thought.

**************

	Mai was about to change into her party clothing when 
she noticed the package on her bed.  Sagano's gift.  

	Having been reminded, she now went and opened the 
card with it.  'I know you and Tougo like to cosplay, so 
Yuuki and I made this for you.  Hope you enjoy it.  Your 
pals, Yuuki and Sagano.'

	Mai was thus filled with a mixture of anticipation and 
dread as she opened it.  It contained two things, a two part 
staff with a star on the end, designed to be screwed together 
into one piece, and an elaborate dress outfit, the one from 
her play story submission.  Charm up, she thought, smiling 
a little.  Well, Tougo would love this.  

	A quick check showed it fit her pretty well.  All I need 
now is a black cat, she thought.  

	She heard a meow and saw a black cat sitting in the 
window sill; it was Usagi's black cat, Mai realized, the one 
with the cute little crescent moon fur patch on her forehead.  
Mai came over and petted her.  "Hello, little kitty.  How are 
you?"

	Usagi's cat purred happily.  
	
	"Do you like magical girls, kitty?" Mai asked, amused.

	The kitty meowed in what might be an affirmative.  

	"Don't tell anyone I'm a magical girl then," Mai said, 
winking at the cat and laughing to herself.  

	"I won't," the cat said.

	Mai jumped backwards and fell down.  The cat put a 
paw over its mouth, then looked embarrassed and ran.

	I must be imagining things, Mai thought.  Cats only 
talk to Harima.  Right?

	She busted out her cellphone and called him.

	He answered the phone, "Hello, this is Harima Kenji.  
Are you calling to offer me an excuse to get out of work?"

	She dimly heard Akira say something slightly cranky 
sounding.

	"Just a quick question.  Is it true you can talk to 
animals?"

	"Yes," Harima said.  "You need someone to talk a cat 
down out of a tree?"

	"How did...I mean...did it just happen one day?" Mai 
asked hesitantly.

	"I dunno.  I could always talk to them, long as I can 
remember," Harima said.  "Dad too.  But I don't think my 
brother can.  Or maybe I never noticed," Harima continued.

	"I just...maybe I imagined it," Mai said.  "This cat..."

	"Was it bitching you were taking up its sun?  Or 
giving bad love advice?" Harima asked.

	"No."

	"You probably imagined it.  Try telling it how pretty it 
is, see if it says something vain," Harima said.

	Mai laughed softly.  "I'll do that," she said.  "Thank 
you," she said.

	"You're welcome," Harima said.  "Gotta go before 
Akira-san gets fed up and tries to eat my phone."

	"I'm not going to _eat_ the phone," Mai heard Akira 
say.

	Mai laughed.  "Goodbye, then, Harima-san."  She 
hung up.  

	I'm sure I imagined it, she thought, then twirled the 
staff in the air.  "Well, this should be some fun."

	She put it back down and carefully hung up the dress 
in her closet.  Now to find something to party in.

*************

	"So what did you need us for?" Jenny asked Kasumi.  
She and Miki and Mikoto had been dragged into Kasumi 
and Shinichi's room.

	"How do you dress for a sausage-themed party?" 
Kasumi asked.

	Jenny stared mindlessly.  "Say what?"

	"Sausage?" Miki asked.

	"Umm...wear something that doesn't stain easily," 
Mikoto guessed.

	"Hmm," Kasumi said, digging through the horde of 
clothing she'd brought.  "Well, black doesn't show stains, 
anyway, and it's always good.  But I was going to save it 
for the gangster party."

	There was a knock at the door.

	Kasumi answered.  "Hello...oh, hello, Mr. 
Broomhead."

	"My name is Yoshidayama!" he said; he was wearing 
a 70s sci-fi jumpsuit with a spiffy hat and visor glasses.  
The hat looked odd, perched on top of his hair.  He was 
carrying a pile of bundles.

	"Are you here to fight Jenny's boyfriend again?" 
Kasumi asked.  

	"No, the boss sent me with costumes for the ladies," 
he said.

	"Costumes?" she asked.

	"Hey, Yoshi-san," Jenny said.  "How's it hanging?"

	"The hammer hangs with excitement," Yoshidayama 
said.  "Anyway, I've got costumes for all the ladies."  He 
began handing out packages.  

	"What about the guys?" Kasumi asked.

	"They just get to suck unless they're cool like me," 
Yoshidayama said.  "Anyway, see you all soon."  He 
performed the Futile Salute, then marched off.

	Kasumi opened her package, staring.  "Is this some 
kind of sentai uniform?"  Hers was pink.

	"Mine's yellow," Jenny said.  "Matches my hair pretty 
well."

	"Green," Miki said.

	"Blue for me," Mikoto said.  

	"Well, this should be entertaining," Jenny said.  "And 
hey, no worries about stains if someone else has to wash it, 
right?"

	"Why do they want us to wear sentai outfits to a 
sausage themed party?" Kasumi asked, feeling she wasn't 
getting something.

	"Well, I guess we'll find out," Mikoto said a little 
warily.  "Let's go change, Miki."

	"Mecha-warriors, GO!" Miki shouted, then giggled.  
"My little brother loves all this kind of stuff; I'll need to get 
a picture for him."

	They all headed off to change.

*************
	
	Harima heard a motorcycle.  "I thought Harry went 
home," he said.

	Akira cocked her head.  "Must be mother."

	"I'll go bring her in while you two work," Nara said, 
hurrying off.

	Bastard, you stole my excuse, Harima thought.

	A half-hour later, there was still no Nara or Akira's 
mother.  Akira frowned and said, "We'd better check on 
them."

	Harima nodded.  Dodging work = SCORE.

	They went outside and found Nara helping Akira's 
mother change the oil on her motorcycle.  Harima stared at 
it.  "Damn, nice bike."

	"Thank you," Akira's mother said.  "I couldn't do this 
before I came, as I had no slave labor handy."

	Nara mumbled to himself.

	Akira's mother patted Nara's head.  "He's a good 
slave."

	Freakiness senses tingling, Harima thought.  Don't 
ask, don't ask, don't ask.  

	"There you are," Yoshidayama said.  "I left a package 
for you in your room, Takano-san."

	She nodded.  "Alright."

	"SWEET BIKE," Yoshidayama said.  "When did Nara 
get such a cool bike?"   He looked at Akira's mother.  "And 
you are?"

	"Akira's mother," she said.  "You must be one of my 
daughter's flunkies."

	"Business partner," Akira said smoothly.  "Kenji-san 
is running the second party."

	Akira's mother studied him.  "The gangster one?"

	"Yes," Harima said.  Wait, how did she...

	"Kenji conceals his intellect to lure his foes into a 
false sense of superiority," Akira said smoothly.

	"He must be very good at concealment, then," Akira's 
mother said.

	This slowly percolated into Harima's brain.  "Hey!"

	"Hmm, if there's more guests, we'll need more 
costumes," Yoshidayama said.  "See you all later!"  He 
headed out.

	"Anyway, I am looking forward to the parties; from 
Akira's reports, they should be impressive," Akira's mother 
said.  She smiled.

	"I hope so," Harima said.  "I invested a lot into this."

	"We will turn a profit with all the contacts you will 
make and another round of presents," Akira said. "Plus the 
subsidy."

	I sure hope so, he thought.  Or I'm screwed.

***************

	Masahiro blinked at Miki and Mikoto.  "What 
the...what is this?"

	Mikoto looked embarrassed, while Miki grinned.  
"Party costumes," Miki said.

	"..."

	"Yeah, I know," Mikoto said.  "I suppose Imadori-kun 
even puts Doujibirion into his sausage somehow."

	"Do we get costumes?" Masahiro asked.

	"Well, Yoshidayama had one, but he said you and 
Haruki-kun were out of luck," Mikoto said.  "Though 
maybe we can cobble you something up."

	"I will go as Mecha-Santa," Masahiro said.  "Might as 
well get my money's worth."

	Miki laughed.  "Okay, cool.  Let's dress you up!"

*****************

	"Oujo-sama," one of the security men said to Eri.  
"There's some old man watching the house.  With a young 
man."

	Eri frowned and went to the security lookout on the 
roof.  Through the telescope, she could make out a handful 
of men staking out the house; they wore outfits which 
proclaimed 'International Birdwatching Society'. 

	Eri pursed her lips.  "Could be ninja spies.  Or thieves.  
Be ready for trouble; I'll send Nakamura-san to investigate.

	"Of course, Oujo-sama," the security man said, then 
departed.

	Not that she cared if Imadori's party went south, but 
she didn't want any trouble for her guests.

**************

	Chiyo finished carefully striping her face with the war 
paint and passed the jar to Kagura, who stared at herself in 
the mirror, then touched up her own paint.  "You ready, 
Sakaki?"

	"Ready," Sakaki said firmly.  She'd dolled up with war 
paint as well.

	Osaka had tangled herself up in her headdress, so 
Sakaki carefully disentangled her and straightened up her 
now smeared war paint.  "I'm ready," Osaka said.

	Kagura looked at herself in the mirror, wondering 
where Chiyo had managed to get all this deerskin clothing, 
anyway.  Though it looked pretty snazzy and was rather 
comfortable.  "You sure this will work?"

	"It worked in Boston in 1774 and they were used to 
Indians," Chiyo said firmly.  Sure, it helped lead to the 
American Revolution, but that had been part of the plan, 
surely.

	"And the witch costume?" Kagura asked.

	Yakumo was dressed in her witch costume, staff and 
all.

	"New England was full of witches," Chiyo said.  
"Everyone knows that."

	Yakumo nodded.  She'd come to act as guide for the 
group.  Harima had originally asked her to brew up a storm 
for him, but she'd pointed out this would rain on all his 
forces on the way there, so he'd sent her to roust out the 
auxillaries.  

	Chiyo picked up her spear and mounted Tadakichi.  
"NOW WE RIDE!"

	"Well, the rest of us walk," Kagura pointed out.

	"Now we...now we walk just doesn't have the right 
ring to it," Chiyo said sadly.

	"Let's go throw some tea in the harbor!" Osaka 
shouted. 

	Kagura's common sense told her this was unwise.  
And yet, she would do it anyway, since her friends were 
doing it.  This is why smart kids say no to peer pressure.

	They headed out to rendezvous with Harima.

**************

	Tenma looked around.  "Isn't Kenji coming to the 
party?"

	Mikoto shook her head.  "He said he'd be by later; he 
had to go do something."

	"Oh," Tenma said, a little disappointed.  "What about 
Yakumo?"

	"She's busy too, but I assume she'll come with him," 
Mikoto said.

	"Okay.  Let's go, then."  Tenma wondered what 
exactly Kenji was doing.  Hopefully something boyfriendy 
with Yakumo.

*******************

	Harima howled in the woods and dogs poured towards 
him from all directions.

	It was time.

	Sausage would fall and kingdoms would burn...well, 
sausage would get eaten, anyway.

*****************

	"I must regretfully inform you that you are trespassing 
on private land," Nakamura said to the 'Birdwatchers'.

	"We're the...," a young man said.

	An older man cut him off.  "We'll find another place, 
then.  Good day!"  They piled into their vehicles and drove 
off.

	They would likely come back, Nakamura thought.  
But why did they think Lupin III would show up at the 
party in the morning?  He hadn't been seen in years.  Unless 
they were cautious enough to throw up false chatter all the 
time, or had seen him approach and started bluffing so he 
would over hear useless intel...

	He would have to keep an eye on them.

*************
		
	Imadori stood on the porch, clad in his Futile Earth 
Self-Defense Force uniform.  He would have liked to wear 
a Doujirbirion uniform proper, but since all the pilots were 
women and he was not...

	He hoped everyone would wear the costumes he'd sent 
them.  It would greatly add to the decor.

	A limo pulled up and Mr. and Mrs. Sawachika got out.  
"Nice uniform," Henry said.

	"You look very military," Ami Sawachika told him.

	He smiled.  "Thank you," he said, saluting.  "I'm ready 
to greet the guests as they arrive.  Yoshidayama-san!"

	Yoshidayama ran up and saluted.  "General 
Sawachika, Dr. Sawachika, welcome!  We've prepared a 
command center for you!"

	"Lead us on, Captain," Henry said, amused, and soon 
the two of them were led away.  

	Yes, Imadori thought, as far, far away, dogs howled, 
this will be the best party ever.

End Chapter 19.