This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 2:  Driving Miss Eri

By John Biles

***************


	"There you are," Mikoto said as Tenma walked in.

	"Just in time for lunch," Akira said.

	"I’m just lucky," Tenma said.  "How is everyone?"

	"Good," Mikoto said.

	"I’m fine," Akira said.  

	"Tsukamoto-san!" Hanai said, coming over.  "I was 
worried."

	"Really?" she said, smiling.  "Thank you."

	"Is Yakumo alright?  I heard she didn’t come to 
school," Hanai continued.

	Mikoto frowned.

	Akira said, "Harima isn’t here either."

	"Oh, I left her and Kenji-kun sleeping together," 
Tenma said.

	Tiny wifts of smoke rose out of Eri’s ears.

	Hanai staggered back.  "Sleeping...together?"

	"They looked so cute, I couldn’t stand to wake them," 
Tenma said.

	"But you..." Hanai looked at Tenma.  "You didn’t..."

	Tenma looked embarrassed.  "I was the only person 
not too worn out to get up."

	Hanai and Eri stared. 

	Mikoto looked at them.  "They were worn out doing 
homework, right?"

	"They were doing homework when I went to bed," 
Tenma said.

	Hanai gave a great sigh of relief, then paused.  "You 
went to bed, leaving your sister alone with Harima?"

	"I really should have made sure they got enough sleep 
instead of tiring each other out."  Tenma said.  

	Hanai began to glow radioactively.

	Eri grumbled.  Stupid Harima, she thought.  When’s 
he going to sleep over at my place?  Nooo, little miss 
perfect gets it.  Spent a thousand years together, my ass.

*****************
	
	Harima woke to the sound of the cellphone ringing.

	He picked his phone up.  "Wha?" he asked.

	Eri shouted, "WAKE UP, KENJI!!!!!!!"

	He fell over, stunned, and she hung up.

	Yakumo began to stir.

	Harima said, "That was nice of her to make a wakeup 
call."  He rubbed his ears.

	Yakumo looked at her clock.  "I missed history class!"  

	"The essay is gone!" Harima said.  "Burglars!"

	As he leaped up, Yakumo grabbed his hand.  "No, 
wait, nee-chan took it to school for me."

	"Oh," he said.  "I finished it for you."

	She smiled at him.  "Thank you."  Hesitantly, she said, 
"It was very kind of you to help me."

	"Well, you helped me win the manga contest.  I think 
together, we’ll go very far."

	"Together?" she asked softly.

	"Well, they want me to do a regular manga for them, 
and I thought...you were so much help..."  He sounded a 
little nervous.  

	For a moment, she could see a flash of his thoughts, an 
image of the two of them drawing together, surrounded by 
stacks of mangas, while Tenma brought them both 
brownies.  Her eyes widened and she blushed, realizing she 
was still holding his hand.  "You want me...to help you?"

	"If you want to," he said.  "You’re a great artist and a 
very good assistant."  He smiled at her.

	She smiled back.  "We’ll need to...come up with a 
plot."

	His stomach rumbled.  "Yeah.  I guess we should eat 
before we go to work."

	"We have school," Yakumo pointed out.

	He started to speak, looked at her serious face, then 
nodded.  "Yes.  Let’s get some food."

	I saw him, just for a moment, Yakumo thought, 
smiling a little.  If we work together...maybe I’ll get to see 
more of his thoughts.  That would be nice.

**************
	
	Hanai was stewing.  The last class of the day was 
winding down and Harima STILL hadn’t come back.  He 
drummed his fingers on his desk until the teacher made him 
stop.

	Mr. Kozuka turned and pointed.  "Harima-san, would 
you like to try and do this problem?"

	"Not really," Harima said.

	"Do it anyway."

	Harima sighed and got up.

	Hanai stared at him. When did he get here?

	Harima sneezed as he walked up to the board, then 
studied the problem.  "Can I call one of my lifelines?"

	Many students laughed.

	Eri said, "This isn’t a game show, Kenji-kun."

	"You can do it, brother-in-law!" Tenma cheered, 
waving fans.

	A fair number of the students stared at Eri, who shrank 
in on herself.

	The teacher sighed.  "Since you and Harima are so 
close, why don’t you come help him."

	"ME?" Eri asked.

	"Is there some other person here who calls him 
Kenji?"

	"I do!" Tenma announced.  Karasuma looked at her 
quizzically.

	"Does it count if I’m making fun of him?" Akira 
asked.

	The teacher sighed.  "Eri, come up."

	Eri came up and looked at the problem, then over at 
Harima, who was staring blankly at it.  "Okay, Kenji-kun," 
she said.  "You remember when we learned about sine, 
cosine, and tangent?"

	Harima peered into the dim depths of his mind.  He 
could hear the words echoing, but the main image in his 
mind was that of Tenma doodling a happy flower in her 
notebook during the lecture.  There had been triangles on 
the board...

	He made his mental camera rotate.  He was good at 
visualizing things.  There had been triangles with letters on 
them...  

	He looked at the one on the board.  "There’s no 
letters."

	"Letters?" the math teacher asked.  "Add your own."

	"Yeah.  I remember, A/B was tangent, right?" Harima 
asked.

	Eri looked at him curiously, wishing she could read 
minds.  Then it hit her.  "Oh.  Right."  She quickly 
scribbled letters on it, trying hard to remember herself.  

	"Right."  Harima peered at the board in his mind.  He 
hadn’t looked at it for long.  "So B/H is cosine.  And..."  
Peer, peer.  "A/H is sine."

	"Right," Eri said.  "So, we’re trying to calculate the 
angle from these lengths, by finding the sine."

	Harima began slowly dividing appropriately by 
dividing on the board as students scribbled and punched 
calculators.  Finally, he said, "Okay, 0.766044443119."

	Eri checked the table in the math book.  "Forty 
degrees."

	The math teacher looked at Harima curiously, then 
grunted.  "Correct."

	"Let’s try another one."

	They went through the next half-dozen problems; 
things crawled along as Harima slowly worked things out 
on the board.  Finally, the teacher ran out of time and the 
next teacher came in.

	"Don’t you have a calculator?" Eri asked as they sat 
down.

	"No," he said.  "Costs too much."

	She shook her head.  I’m surprised he managed to 
remember all the formulas, she thought.  She smiled a little 
and went to her seat, as did he.

**************

	Class was over, and Harima was getting ready to 
leave, when Hanai came up to him.  "You!  What did you 
do with Yakumo last night?"

	"Homework," Harima said.  "How about you?"

	"I didn’t do anything with Yakumo last night!" Hanai 
shouted.

	"Right."  Harima turned to go, but Hanai grabbed his 
shoulder.  "Did you sleep with her?"

	"We overslept," Harima said.  "What’s it to you?"

	"YOU CAN’T JUST GO AROUND SLEEPING 
WITH ANYONE YOU LIKE!" Hanai shouted.

	People began clearing to a safe distance if they 
couldn’t just head for home now.  

	Except for Tenma, who came over.

	"I haven’t slept with anyone else!" Harima protested.  
"Except when Itoko and I fall asleep around the heater 
table, sometimes."  He paused.  "You mean in the same 
room, right, not the same house?"

	"Yes, the same room!"

	"That would be just her," Harima said.

	Tenma interposed herself.  "You can’t fight him, 
Hanai-kun.  He has to give Yakumo a ride to our house."

	Hanai shook.  "Why are you helping him?"

	"He’s my brother-in-law," Tenma said, taking 
Harima’s arm.

	Harima burst into smiles and began to laugh.  "Yes!  
It’s just like we’re married!"

	It was too much for Hanai, and he grabbed for 
Harima’s shoulder, only to suddenly find Tenma grabbing 
his arm and shoulder and throwing him.  It was the same 
move Yakumo had once used on him.  

	He went sprawling in shock.  Tenma said, "I’m sorry, 
Hanai, but I can’t let you hurt my brother-in-law.  Miko-
chin, take good care of Hanai, won’t you?"

	And then she dragged Harima off.

	Mikoto helped Hanai up.  "I don’t understand either."

	"YAKUMOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

*****************

	As Eri was headed home, she passed a store with a 
sign ‘Electronics on sale, half off’.  She went in to see if 
she could find herself a new MP3 player.  While browsing, 
she noticed a dozen calculators on sale.

	She hovered over them thoughtfully, then bought two.  
I could use a new one, she thought.  And if I have to sit 
through Kenji doing long division again, I will go crazy.

	She got home and began puttering around on her 
homework.  Eventually, it was almost time for dinner when 
her butler came to see her.

	Butler-san said, "Miss, the boy we ran over the other 
day is here to see you."

	Eri blinked in surprise and rose from her desk.  "He 
is?"

	"Yes, ma’am.  Should I let him in?"

	"I..."  What is HE doing here?  She expected him to be 
puttering around with Tenma’s sister.  "Well, he’s here.  
Let him in."  She paused.  "Does he have anyone with 
him?"

	"It’s just him."

	Eri said, "I’ll meet him in the blue room."  Heading 
out, she soon reached the blue room, so titled because the 
walls were painted to resemble the ocean seen from within 
and the furniture matched the water.  Once she was there, 
she sat down on the couch and had some tea sent in, 
wondering why she felt so nervous.  

	Harima arrived, holding a box in a bag, still wearing 
his school uniform.  

	"Do you wear that all the time?" she asked.

	"It’s the nicest clothing I have," he said.  "And I 
thought I should dress for such an expensive house."

	She smiled a little at that as he sat down on the couch 
facing hers, putting the box in the center.  "Looking for 
homework help?" she asked.

	"I wanted to thank you for helping me," he said.

	Her eyes widened a little.  "I...you’re welcome."

	"You keep helping me out of situations I can’t get out 
of myself," he said.  "Thank you."  He pushed the box over.  
"So I made you this."

	Her eyes widened a little.  "I didn’t know you could 
cook."

	"If I waited for Itoko to cook for me, I’d be dead," he 
said.  "Very dead."

	"Itoko-sensei?"

	"My cousin.  I live with my older cousin," Harima 
said.  

	"Oh."  She opened the bag; it turned out to be three 
stacked boxes.  "Wow, three things."

	"One of those is a dessert, the other two are curry," 
Harima said.  "You like curry, right?"

	She felt for a moment like something clutched her 
chest, then she said, "How did you...oh."  She stared at the 
boxes, then warily opened the one with things skidding 
around in it; the smell of cinnamon and honey struck her 
nose.  It was full of slices of apple with some sort of 
coating.  She pulled one out and bit into it, then smiled; the 
taste was quite good.

	Harima was watching her; it was hard to read him, but 
he seemed rather stiff and was staring at her.  She said, "It’s 
very good."

	He gave a great sigh of relief.  "The curry may have 
too much salt.  But I think it should be good.  It’s my usual 
recipe, but the salt shaker didn’t cooperate."  Because he 
had been imagining Tenma doing the cooking as he 
worked.

	"Well, now I have dinner," she said.  "Thank you."

	He rose.  "You’re welcome.  Well, I expect you have 
homework to do and stuff."

	"You should do your homework too.  Your...You’ll 
need good grades to keep up with Yakumo," Eri said softly.

	He said, "I need..."  I need bad grades so I can go to 
remedial sessions with Tenma-chan, he thought.  "I’m not a 
good student."

	"You could do better," she said.  "If you can cook all 
this well, you can master anything."

	His eyes lit up.  "Really?"  

	"Really.  You should have brought your homework, I 
could have helped you."

	"I shouldn’t burden you like that, Eri-san," he said.

	She breathed in and out, then said, "F...Friends can 
burden each other, right?"

	"I haven’t had many friends," he said, sounding a little 
sad.

	"You do now," she said.  "Even if you make us want 
to kill you sometimes."

	He stared at the floor.  Do I make Tenma want to kill 
me sometimes, he wondered.

	She suddenly felt bad, then felt frustrated with him for 
making her feel bad.  "But right now, I’m grateful," she 
said, reaching over hesitantly to take his hand for a 
moment.  "And you were a good partner at the sports 
contest."

	He grinned.  "That guy never knew what hit him.  You 
sure can kick."

	Eri grinned back.  "Beat his ass.  He deserved it."

	He smiled a little, then said, "I guess I’ll see you at 
school tomorrow."

	"You can stay, if you want," Eri said.  "Company is 
nice while eating.  I guess you already had supper?"

	His stomach grumbled and he mumbled something.

	"What?"

	"I sort of spent my budget on all that."

	Her eyes widened slightly.  "That’s not much of a 
budget."  Harima stared at the floor.  "You are going to 
have supper, right?"

	"I still have some ramen," he said.  "If Itoko hasn’t 
eaten it yet."

	"Your cousin doesn’t sound like she takes very good 
care of you," Eri said, frowning.  "Why don’t I make you 
some curry, too." She paused.  "You like curry, right?"

	He nodded.

	"Come on."

	They went to the kitchen and she began making him 
some food.  He watched quietly while she cooked, drifting 
off into a fantasy about housekeeping with Tenma.  Though 
it was a bit unlike his usual ones, as he suddenly realized 
partway through it that Tenma had dyed her hair blonde for 
some reason.

	He was still puzzling that out when the Butler entered.  
"Miss, your father is home."  He looked meaningfully at 
Harima.

	Harima said, "Tsukamoto-san is home?", still wrapped 
in his dream.

	Eri glared at him, then said, "We’ve got to get you out 
of here."

	She could hear footsteps.  She and the Butler looked 
around frantically.

	Panicked, she opened the cupboard under the sink and 
crammed Harima into the space.  He had to vastly contort 
himself, but it was a pretty large kitchen with a huge sink, 
which helped.

	Eri’s father swept in.  "Hello, dear."  He looked at the 
preparations and frowned.  "The cook hasn’t gotten drunk 
again, I hope."

	"I wanted..."  She panicked.  "I thought you might 
come home and be hungry."

	Harima felt his stomach rumble.

	Eri’s father looked around.  "What was that?"

	"I haven’t eaten yet," Eri said.  "I fixed mine...if you 
can wait just a minute...I can finish this and we can eat 
together."

	"My dinner was cancelled due to Takeguchi getting 
sick, so I was going to have the cook make me something."  
He paused.  "Where is the cook?"

	"You gave her the day off because you weren’t going 
to be home," Eri said.

	Her father went and poured himself a glass of wine.  
"Would you like some, daughter?"

	"Yes, please, father," Eri said.

	He poured her the glass.  "Well, no point in wasting 
what you’ve made.  By the time the cook got back, I’d be 
starving anyway."  He shook his head, passed her a glass, 
and sipped his own, leaning against the counter.  "I didn’t 
know you could cook."

	"I’ve been getting lessons from my friends," Eri said.

	"Good.  Servants aren’t reliable enough to always 
count on them being there to make you food when you 
need it," Eri’s father said, paused, then looked over at 
Butler-san.  "Present company excepted."

	"Of course, sir," Butler-san said smoothly.

	Eri continued cooking while Eri’s father sipped his 
wine and quietly watched her cooking.  His phone rang, 
and he began talking business while she worked.  She 
hummed a happy little tune.  Sometimes, life just worked 
out well.

	Finally, she finished, and they went out to the dining 
room.  Unfortunately, the call dragged on and on, leaving 
her wondering what he thought of the food.  He was about 
two-thirds through his curry when he finally hung up.  
"Sorry about that.  We had a little crisis."

	"They really keep you hopping, Father," Eri said.

	"I know," he said ruefully.  "What are you doing 
tomorrow afternoon?"

	"I...I have school, Father," Eri said.

	"That’s too bad.  The office has to close down for the 
afternoon for some repairs to the plumbing.  I was thinking 
perhaps we could go to a museum or something," he said.  

	Eri’s eyes widened.  "I...I could call in sick."

	He shook his head.  "I sometimes forget, for a 
moment, you’re still young.  You shouldn’t skip school; it’s 
very important."

	She sighed.  "But..."

	He finished off his curry.  "Hmm, do we have any 
desert."

	She brought out the candied apples.  "Not very fancy, 
I’m afraid."

	He took several slices.  "Hmm, this is very good.  
Where did you get the recipe?" he asked.

	"A...a friend from school.  Har...Ken...ko.  Harkenko."

	"That’s an odd name," Eri’s father said.  "Well, that 
was good," he said, carefully wiping his mouth.  "I must go 
and do some work, but I’ll be in my office if you need me.  
Thank you for the meal, daughter."

	She smiled brightly.  "You’re welcome, Father."

	He headed off.  She finished eating, and had Butler-
san take the remains to the kitchen, while she went to do 
homework.

	She was hard at work on her history homework when 
her phone rang.  She answered, "Hello?"

	"Umm, hello, Sawachika-sempai," Yakumo said.  
"Have you seen...Kenji-kun?  He was supposed to come by 
once he finished dropping off the food."

	Eri felt her nerves jangle gently.  He just gets around, 
she thought.  "Did you make it and he said it was his?" she 
asked suspiciously.

	"Oh no, he just got the apple recipe from me, after 
onee-chan told him that you liked apples," Yakumo said.  
She hesitated, then said, "I baked you a cake, but it wasn’t 
ready, so I’ll bring it to you at school tomorrow, okay?"

	"You baked me a cake?" Eri asked in surprise.

	Worried, Yakumo asked, "You do like cake?"

	"Yes, I do," Eri said.  Little miss perfect, she thought.  
"You didn’t have to."

	"I thought...I sort of stole your big scene," Yakumo 
said hesitantly.  

	"You can’t apologize for stealing someone’s kiss with 
a cake!"  Eri tried to calm herself.  "Not that I WANTED to 
kiss him, mind you."

	"I..." Yakumo began, then fell silent.  "I’m sorry."

	Eri sighed.  "Forget about it.  It made for a great show 
and everyone loved it, and really AKIRA stole the kiss 
from both of us."

	"Do you think she likes him?" Yakumo asked 
hesitantly.

	"I think she likes laughing at people," Eri grumbled.  
"Anyway, I do..."  It suddenly hit her that she had not let 
Harima out of the cabinet.  "Anyway, I have to talk to you 
later.  We have trouble here."

	"I..."

	Click.  Eri sighed.  Beard, you just can’t stay out of 
trouble, she thought.  

	She got up and began heading for the kitchen, only to 
encounter her father in the hall.  "Going somewhere, 
father?" she asked.

	"There is a motorcycle parked in front of the house, 
even though none of us own one," he said.  "I’m going to 
get one of the shotguns and go take a look."

	Oh hell, Eri thought.  Kenji’s motorcycle is out in 
plain view.    "Can’t we just have it towed?"

	"Could be delinquents," he said.  "Looking for easy 
cash.  You stay inside, I’ll investigate."

	She snuck off to the kitchen and found Harima asleep.  
She tried to wake him, but he was sound asleep and rather 
tangled up with everything that had been underneath.  She 
had to slowly pull and yank him, gradually easing him out.  
Finally, he came out, flying out all at once and knocking 
her back down, with him half on top of her, still sleeping.

	She blushed and Butler-san appeared, attracted by the 
noise.  "Miss?"

Eri looked up at him.  "Can you hide him in Limo 
#2?"

	"Yes, Miss, but your father..."

	"Doesn’t need to know," Eri said.

	"But the motorcycle..."

	Eri rifled through Harima’s pockets.  "I’ll take care of 
that."

	"But your father..."

	Pulling out a set of keys, Eri called her father.  
"Father, I’m running out to a friend’s.  I’ll be back soon."

	"Okay, daughter," he said.  "I’m not finding any 
delinquents yet, but perhaps in the backyard."

	"Exactly," she said.  "Many places to hide.  See you 
soon."

	She hung up.  "Drive him to Tenma-chan’s house."

	"But.." Butler-san began.

	"Leave the cycle to me."

	Eri went up and changed into some clothing she didn’t 
wear often; she was soon in a plain white t-shirt, blue-jeans, 
and a dark Yakult Swallows jacket she hoped would look 
punk.  She got some hair spray she sometimes used for 
giving herself highlights, and quickly sprayed her hair red, 
tucking it up inside a baseball cap.  

	She’d never ridden a motorcycle, but she had some 
familiarity with them.  One of her cousins had ridden one 
and would NEVER shut up about it.  EVER.

It looked like things would pay off for her this time.  
She got on and tried to start it up; the engine made pretty 
noises, but the cycle didn’t get moving.  Then she realized 
it was still in park.  Listening to her cousin ramble in her 
mind, she got it into gear and zoomed out onto the road.  It 
was all pretty easy once she got moving; Eri had always 
had the knack for picking up anything physical from just a 
few clues, and it had stood her in good stead many times. 

Soon, she was feeling pretty excited as she was 
roaring along the road at high speed.  This is great.  No 
wonder Kenji loves this thing, she thought.  

	Her reverie of the intoxication of speed was 
interrupted by the sound of sirens behind her.  Two female 
cops in a dinky police car were after her.  That was two 
more cops than she wanted.

	I am so screwed, she thought.  She did the only thing 
she could think of, speed up and try to lose them.

	She prayed it would work.

*************
	   
	Harima woke up in the limousine, and wondered for a 
moment if he was dreaming still.  "Butler-san, is this real?"

	"It’s a very good question," Butler-san said.  "People 
continue to debate how we can know what is real and what 
is a dream.  Are we all but butterflies?"

	"..."

	Butler-san glanced at him in the rearview.  "Miss 
instructed me to take you to the Tsukamoto residence."

	Harima’s stomach grumbled.  "But...my bi...the 
Tsukamoto residence?" I can see Tenma-chan!  "I’ll pick 
up the bike later."

	"Miss is taking it there for you.’

	"SHE’S DRIVING MY BIKE?" Harima asked in 
shock.

	"We had to evade her father finding you, and it would 
not fit in the car," Butler-san said.

	"But she...does she even know how?"

	"She is very willful," Butler-san said, sighing.  "It 
boots nothing to oppose her will."

	Harima tried to figure out what that meant.  "She’s 
leaving my bike to someone if she dies?"

	"..."

	Then they heard the sirens.  Harima dived out of sight.  
"I’m not here!"

	"Yes, sir," Butler-san said, then looked out the 
window.  "Oh dear."

	"What?  What?" Harima asked frantically.

	"I’m afraid the police are after Miss for speeding."

	Harima got up and looked.  "Dammit.  They might 
confiscate my bike!"

	Eri drew closer as the cops gave chase.  She was still a 
ways behind them, but drawing closer.  

	"Only one chance," Harima said.  "You’ll need to 
come up parallel to her and match her speed."

	Butler-san looked at him, then nodded.

	As Eri drew closer, Butler-san began to speed up, just 
enough to sync the vehicles, moving over to get into the 
adjacent lane.  Harima opened his window.  "Eri-san, you 
shouldn’t drive without a helmet!"

	"Look who’s talking!" she shouted back to him.  
"Why’d you fall asleep?"

	"I got bored in the cabinet!" Harima yelled back.  
"Where did you go?"

	"I had to entertain father!" she said.  She felt a 
moment of guilt.  "I came to get you once I could without 
you getting caught."

	"Okay, I’m going to jump over and take over driving," 
Harima said.

	"WHAT?" Eri said.

	"So don’t shining wizard me or anything when I jump 
over," Harima said.

	"You’re crazy!  You’ll hurt yourself!" she said.

	He smiled at her confidently.  "Trust me."

	She flushed, then turned away.  "Do what you want," 
she mumbled.

	And then he leaped out the window, landing behind 
her.  His legs extended around hers and his arms reached 
past her, and he took the controls.  "Thanks, Butler-san!" he 
said to Butler-san, then peeled off to the left, cutting across 
lanes to roar up onto the sidewalk and into an alley.

	Eri screamed in surprise, then began to calm down 
when she saw him nimbly weave between dumpsters and 
trashcans in the alley.  Then she realized he was pushed up 
behind her just like...when he’d been naked...and...  She 
turned more red.  "Don’t get any funny ideas!"

	"I can’t make up jokes when I’m driving," he said.  

	"..."

	He looked back and saw the cops were still coming.  
He was impressed.  Their narrow car, barely more than a 
golf cart if that, weaved through.  This would require 
trickier stuff.  It was highway time.

	He took them up to the highway, while Eri looked 
around in confusion.  "Where are we going?" she 
demanded.

	"Somewhere they can’t follow," he said, taking them 
into heavier traffic and speeding up.  The cops behind them 
began to lose ground. 

	Eri watched cars weave all around them, trying not to 
just break down in terror. Eri watched cars weave all 
around them, trying not to break down in terror. She looked 
back at Harima -- the amiable goofball that she normally 
saw was gone. There was a fire in his eyes, a serious look 
on his face, topped by a confident smile.

	She felt her heart beating faster as he drove, and her 
nervousness started to turn into a sense of exaltation.  This 
was kind of cool, really.  Harima cut between two cars and 
around a truck to shift lanes, and she cheered.  

	Then four more cop cars showed up.

**************
	
	"Butler-san!" Tenma said.  "How are you?"

	"I am fine," he said.  "Have Miss and Harima-san 
arrived?"

	"No," Tenma said.

	Her phone rang.  "Eri, is that you?" she asked.

	"No, it’s me, Mikoto," Mikoto said.  "Turn on the 
radio!"

	"What?"

	"Or the TV.  There’s a major chase on the highway, 
and they think someone has kidnapped one of the Yakult 
Swallows!"

	Tenma ran to the TV with Butler-san and flicked it on.  
"Experts point to clear signs of Helsinki Syndrome, as we 
can see the kidnapped player making gestures of defiance 
at the police," the anchorman said.

	The video image wasn't very good, but she could just 
make out someone in a dark jacket raising a pale fist at 
onrushing police cars. She couldn't see much of the driver 
at all.
	
	"Oh dear," Butler-san said.

	"Poor baseball player," Tenma said, then said into her 
phone, "Any idea which one got kidnapped?"

	"I don’t know," Mikoto said.  "But it’s kinda cool to 
watch.  Hanai’s really worried."

	"Oh, he’s with you?" Tenma asked.

	"We’re doing some homework together, and then this 
started."

	" ‘Homework’, hmmm?" Tenma asked teasingly.

	"Just homework!" Mikoto insisted. "Anyway, I’d 
better not run my phone down.  See you later."

	"See ya."

	Tenma hung up.  "Butler-san, what are you doing 
here?"

	"..."

	Yakumo came out.  "Hello, Butler-san.  Are 
Sawachika-san and...Kenji-kun here?"

	Butler-san said, "No.  They were supposed to meet me 
here, coming on Harima-san’s bike."  He watched the news 
nervously.

	"Oh.  I should make snacks," Yakumo said.

	"More candied apples!" Tenma said.  

	"Okay," Yakumo said, and went to work.

	Man, this is cool, Tenma thought, watching the cycle 
weave through dense traffic.  I wish my life was this 
exciting.

*************

	One of the cop cars tried to change lanes and glanced 
off an eighteen wheeler, skidding over to then rattle against  
the retaining wall next to the highway.  

	"EAT THAT COPPERS!" Eri shouted, waving her fist 
again.  She was maniacally gleeful.  "I never realized being 
delinquent was this much fun!  Why didn’t you tell me, 
Kenji-kun?" she asked.

	He said, "I left that life behind when I...came back to 
school.  But it could be fun, sometimes."

	"No wonder Yakumo loves riding with you," Eri said.  
She gave a happy cackle.  "So how do we give them the 
slip?"

	"Don’t worry," Harima said.  "I have a plan."  We are 
so doomed, he thought.  Sooner or later, they’ll roadblock 
us and I’ll get trapped unless I manage to get to an exit, but 
they’ve got someone to my right to block that.

	He roared up behind a truck, which kicked up a huge 
cloud of smoke from its rear exhaust.  To his surprise, the 
back opened, and Akira was inside; she kicked down a 
ramp he could drive up.  "GET IN!" she shouted.

	Harima stared in surprise, then roared up inside the 
truck, slamming on the brakes.  He quickly halted and 
Akira closed the back.  

	"Akira?" Eri asked in surprise.

	"Hello, Harima, Eri," Akira said.  She spoke into her 
headset.  "Itoko-sensei, we have our birds."

	She listened a bit, then said, "We’ll circle around for a 
while, then head back to Sawachika’s mansion."

	"Actually, we should go to Tenma’s house," Eri said, 
not realizing she was still perched, cuddled up to Harima, 
on the cycle.  "Butler-san is waiting for me there."

	"Itoko sent you?" Harima asked.  

	"This is a Tea Club rescue?" Eri asked.

	"Exactly," Akira said.  "This is Tea Club."  She 
smiled, though for a moment, she looked slightly guilty as 
she looked at Harima.  

	"Wow, you have your own rescue vehicle," Eri said.

	Akira smiled.  

	"Itoko-sensei says to be thankful, Harima-san," Akira 
said to Harima.

	"I’d have gotten us out of that," Harima said, folding 
his arms and grumbling.

	"Also, she says it’s safer to cuddle off the motorcyle."

	"..."

	Eri jumped up away from the cycle, hat falling off.  
"He’s the one who jumped on behind me!"

	"I was trying to save you!" Harima replied.

	"Trying to get that kiss you lost yesterday?" Akira 
asked Eri.

	"I DO NOT WANT TO KISS HIM!" Eri shouted.

	"You’re the one who stole a kiss from me!" Harima 
protested to Akira.

	She advanced on him and he began to retreat.  Finally, 
when she had him against the wall, she asked, breathily, 
"Should I steal another?"

	Harima’s eyes crossed.  "Takano-san, my heart 
belongs to someone else."  He looked flustered.

	"YOU already had one," Eri said, interposing herself 
quickly.

	"So, you’re saying it’s your turn?" Akira asked, 
smiling slightly.  
	
	"I’m not out to kiss him!" Eri protested.  "But he 
brought me dinner, so I can’t let you kiss him."

	"Itoko-sensei finds your logic interesting," Akira said, 
listening to her headset.

	Harima listened them bicker, his mind flitting across 
various kissing scenarios with Takano, Eri, Tenma, and 
Yakumo all descending on the rope to kiss him.  His eyes 
crossed and he shook his head.  I am devoted to Tenma 
alone, he thought.  Her and her alone.

	"Anyway, no kissing," Eri said firmly.

	"As you like," Akira said, going to sit down on a 
bench.  "Do you like tea, Harima?"

	"I like tea very much," he said.  "And coffee."

	Eri looked suspiciously at Akira.  Is she after him?  Or 
just teasing me?  Probably just teasing.  But what if she 
was?  This kind of rescue was just the perfect thing to win 
some people over...we were doing just fine without them.  
She frowned.  

	Hmm, you’d almost think Takano was a secret agent, 
Harima thought.  Maybe I could have a tea club which is a 
front for a spy agency in my manga...that would be a good 
twist.  
	
	He glanced over at Akira, who smiled knowingly at 
him.  Akira said, "Do you belong to any clubs, Harima-
kun?"

	"No," he said.  "I never liked being tied down."

	"Well, you did go on one of our training trips and 
acquitted yourself well," Akira said.  "And Yakumo-chan is 
fond of you.  We could use a man like you."

	SHE IS TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM WITH TEA, Eri 
realized.  "I like tea," Eri said.

	"I’m not very good at making tea," Harima said.  
"What exactly is Tea Club?"

	"We practice the ancient Japanese art of making and 
serving tea," Akira said.  "It was practiced by samurai as 
well as by ladies in times past."

	Hmm, samurai are pretty cool.  And Tenma does like 
tea, Harima thought.  And it’s not like drinking tea is very 
hard.  "Sure, I’ll think about it," Harima said.

	"I like tea," Eri said, firmly.

	"I’m sure Yakumo-chan would be happy to have you 
in the club with her," Akira said.

	"The British have been perfecting tea drinking for 
centuries," Eri said.  "I have some very nice teas at home, 
Kenji-kun."

	Harima’s stomach rumbled.  "Any chance we can stop 
for food?"  He paused.  "But I don’t have any money."

	"I can pay for it," Eri offered.

	"That would be very nice," Harima said gratefully.  

	"I’ll call Yakumo.  I believe she is making snacks," 
Akira said.

	Eri got her phone.  "I’ll have it delivered to Tenma’s 
house.  What do you like?"

	"I could go for some curry," Harima said.  "Or maybe 
some ribs on fried rice.  Or beefbowl, or..."

**************
	
	Harima stared at all the food on the table.  Ribs. 
Beefbowl.  Riceballs.  Salmon.  Sushi.  Some sort of thing 
in tofu.  Another thing in tofu.  Fishcakes.  Fruit.  Breads.  
Cookies.    

	Eri and Yakumo sat nearby, looking at him 
expectantly.  He had two glasses of tea near him; he had the 
feeling they’d each made one.

	This must be some sort of tea club test of my manners, 
he realized.  A secret initiation.  He’d heard Hanai had 
botched his initiation.  Well.  There was nothing Hanai 
could do that was worth doing that he couldn’t do better.  
Nothing.  

	Akira, Butler-san, Tenma, and Itoko lurked knowingly 
behind the three, watching.  Tenma said, "So this is his test, 
Akira?  To see if he can tell who made what?"

	Akira looked at Tenma, then said solemnly, "Yes.  
After all, if a woman makes food with love, that love 
becomes part of it and anyone who eats it can tell that love, 
if they are capable of love themselves."

	Harima felt himself start to get nervous.  I can’t botch 
this, he thought.  I have to show I’m capable of love.

	But I only made the tea, Eri thought.  I just had 
everything else delivered for me.  

	"What if there is hate in the food?" Butler-san asked.

	"That’s obvious too," Itoko said.  "Don’t worry, 
cousin, you can do it.  I’m sure with everyone watching, 
you’ll triumph."  Her voice sounded a little amused.

	Harima studied the glasses.  One was a brown mug 
with a golden lion embossed on it; the other one showed 
sunflowers in a field under a blue sky.  He sniffed them 
carefully; one was mint tea; the other one was orange in 
color and smelled the same.  They both smelled good.  
What does love smell like, he asked himself.  Was it mint 
or orange in smell?

	If only Tenma made one of these, he thought.  HER 
LOVE, I would know.  But Yakumo and Eri...  He glanced 
at them.  Yakumo looked at him, then shyly turned aside 
from his gaze slightly, seeming to almost stare past him.  
He glanced that way and saw nothing.  Looking at Eri, she 
couldn’t quite meet his gaze either, and stared off at the 
floor.

	Lion...lion...He picked up the lion mug, studying it.  
Didn’t Britain have a magical lion god or something, he 
asked himself.  There had been some cartoon...  He sniffed 
it strongly; it smelled wonderful.

	He took the other one and sniffed it; the orange tea 
was also appealing.  A field of flowers, golden beneath the 
sky.  Yakumo was the sort of girl to like flowers, he was 
sure.  And flower arranging...that was a girly thing.  Not 
something a macho woman like Sac...like Eri would use.

	And yet...

	An image flashed into his mind of Yakumo in the lion 
suit, standing in front of the animals as the man from the 
zoo tried to take a shot at them.  She’d asked to be the lion.  
He’d been so grateful to her, risking herself for his friends.  
That had been really brave and...he’d never said thank you.  
He felt terrible about that for a moment.  It wasn’t easy for 
Harima Kenji, who had only lived for himself, to get used 
to things like gratitude.  But Yakumo would be part of his 
family, once Tenma and he got married.  She would be 
family.  And you had to thank family. And even if you 
didn’t...he was grateful.  She had risked herself for his 
friends.  

	And Akira.  And Sara.  And his little brother.  He 
needed to thank them all.  I’ve been a poor...a poor friend 
to them.

	He sniffed the two cups again.  

	Akira tensed slightly.

	Eri leaned forward, fists clenched.

	Yakumo stared.  She could see flickers around his 
head, fragments of thoughts.  Herself in her lion costume.  
Akira in the giraffe outfit.  Sara the Panda.  Eri running 
across a field of flowers.  

	And then Harima said, "The mint tea was made by 
Yakumo-san, the orange tea by Eri-san."  

	"But you haven’t even tasted it!" Eri said.

	Akira’s jaw dropped slightly.

	Itoko said, "Impressive."

	Tenma clapped her hands.  "Love conquers all!"

	"They’re both good," Harima said, sipping from each 
in turn, then setting them down and looking at the food.  I 
can’t eat this much, he thought.  But he had a feeling he 
was expected to.

	The images around Harima faded, and Yakumo felt a 
little disappointed.  But maybe...if he eats my food, we’ll 
move closer again, she thought.

	A blinding insight hit him.  Tenma is a good Japanese 
girl who makes traditional Japanese food.  Therefore, so 
does Yakumo.  While Eri is British, and therefore would 
make British food.

	But what do the British eat?  Besides chips?  He 
looked around, but he couldn’t see any kind of chip, potato 
or otherwise.  Most of the stuff looked Japanese.  

	The sushi had to be Japanese.  He reached out and 
took one and ate it.  "Very good, Yakumo."

	Tenma waved fans.  Itoko smiled.  Akira watched 
curiously.

	Curry.  She’d been making him curry earlier.  Let’s 
take the easy early win, he thought.  He ate a little of the 
curry.  It wasn’t great, but he knew enough to be polite if 
he really wanted to.  "This is good, Eri," he said.

	"It is?  Eri’s not a good cook," Tenma said.

	"HEY!"

	Another obvious one.  He ate a riceball.  "I could 
recognize Yakumo-san’s riceballs anywhere.  It’s how we 
first met," he said, remembering her bringing him some 
when he'd come to repair her air conditioning.

	For a moment, Yakumo could see a flicker of sitting 
on the grass with her around his head.  She smiled.

	He managed to identify the beefbowl as Eri’s on a 
wild guess.  One of the tofu dishes, he guessed was 
Yakumo’s, going on intuition.  He’d seen Eri eating ribs on 
rice one time, and the sashimi had to be Yakumo.

	He kept going, and gradually noticed everything 
Yakumo made tasted better, and used that to make his 
guesses.  However, he gradually got full, and it got hard to 
think because he wanted to sleep.

	He picked up the hamburger, then stared at the 
wrapper.  "Hey, this is from McDonald’s."

	Itoko laughed.  "I see you haven’t gone blind, cousin."

	"You said you wanted a hamburger," Eri said.  "I’m 
not much of a cook."

	"Something made with love that tastes bad is still fine 
with me," Harima said.  "Also, I’m stuffed."

	"My cooking does not taste bad!" Eri instinctively 
protested.

	"Didn’t you just say..." Tenma began.

	"I was bluffing," Eri said.

	Akira stepped forward.  "You have done well, 
Harima."

	He blinked in surprise.  "Really?"  Harima wasn’t used 
to praise.

	"You may join Tea Club if you like," Akira said.  

	"I may do that," Harima said.  "I’m not much of a 
joiner, but..."

	"It will make Yakumo-chan happy," Akira said.

	Yakumo stared at the floor.

	And making her happy will make Tenma happy too, 
Harima thought.  A double win.  

	Eri grumbled to herself.  "Well, if you don’t want the 
hamburger, I’ll eat it myself so it doesn’t get wasted."

	Harima looked at her, then said, "I’ll save it for later.  
It’ll warm up, right?"

	"Yeah, I think so," Eri said.

	Harima said, "I won’t need to eat for days after all 
that."

	"Just make sure you are ready tomorrow for when 
Hanai likely tries to pound you flat," Itoko told him.

	"I can handle Hanai."

****************