This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 20:  Party!  Party!  Party!  Party!  

By John Biles

****************

	Mai found it exceedingly ominous that Tougo had told 
her to pack the Pretty Princess Mai-chan costume in a 
shoulder bag, along with two changes of clothing and 
various other things.  Especially the mayonaise.  What is he 
planning at this party, she wondered.

	He had a bag himself, which made her worry more.

	Mai's mother asked, as she dropped them off, "What 
time should I come get you?"

	"It may be late, so Vice-President Aino-sensei invited 
us to stay the night, since it is a late celebration," Tougo 
said.

	"Oh right, right.  Good, no danger of...uumm...yes, 
enjoy yourselves," Mai's mother said hastily.

	Mai looked at her mother curiously, then said, "Have 
fun with Dad."

	"Ha.  Ahahaha.  Ha," Mai's mother tittered.  "Fun, yes, 
it will be."

	Mai decided ignorance was definitely bliss.  

****************

	"I hesitate to ask..." Umino began.

	Nyamo was wondering why Yukari was wearing a 
sentai costume herself.

	"Because I am pretty and special," Yukari said.  She 
smiled the benevolent smile of a shark.

	"I see," Nyamo said.

	"Ahh, that kind of special," Umino said.

	"Not THAT kind of special!!!"

	They pulled into the parking lot now and Umino came 
around to let them both out, then he took Nyamo by the 
arm; she'd worn a long black evening dress, uncertain how 
to dress for the party.  They could hear tinny electronic 
music coming out of the lodge, and spotted Imadori in a 
blue uniform at the door.

	Nyamo cocked her head.  "Vaguely familiar."

	"All electronica sounds the same," Umino said.  "In 
my opinion."  

	He and Nyamo began walking forwards, while Yukari 
ran ahead to take Imadori's hands and kiss him.  He 
whispered, "Much as I love your gentle kisses, my dear, we 
will both be killed if caught."

	"That just makes it more fun," she said, grinning.

	Umino caught up to them.  "I would rather not see 
Nyamo cry because you have been killed, Yukari-san."

	"Oh, they won't really kill us," Yukari said.

	"Killing would be a mercy by comparison," Nyamo 
said.  "At least try to be careful."

	Still holding Imadori's hands, Yukari said, "I am the 
very essence of caution."

	"I can walk under my own power!," Eri shouted from 
inside; they could hear her coming.

	Imadori jumped back slightly, letting go of Yukari's 
hands.  Eri stepped out on the porch.  "Mother says I have 
to help greet your guests.  But I'm not wearing a costume," 
she said.  She wore a nice black evening gown almost 
identical to Nyamo's.  She blinked at Yukari.  "Aren't you 
that drunken teacher?"

	In English, Yukari said, "A brilliant, beautiful, wise 
English teacher.  Not that you can probably understand 
what I'm saying."

	Eri grinned like a shark.  In English, she said, 
"Actually, this is my birth tongue.  I guess you must be the 
Dork Ranger."

	"I am the Beautiful and Wise RED ranger.  You need 
to work on your colors.  Also, it's 'dark', not 'dork'," Yukari 
replied.

	Shrunken due to inability to keep up with high speed 
angry English, Imadori, Nyamo, and Umino watched 
nervously.

	"Your booty is certainly too full," Eri said.  "I guess 
Imadori likes you for your size D butt.  And I meant 'dork', 
definitely."

	"He never touches YOUR breasts," Yukari crowed 
triumphantly.  "I win."

	Tiny tongues of flame hung in Eri's eyes.  Imadori 
knew there was only one way to defuse the situation, which 
was to whip out a sprig of mistletoe, hold it over Eri's head 
and try to kiss her.  

	She pounded him into the porch, while Nyamo and 
Umino wrestled Yukari inside.

**************	

	Akira's mother cocked her head.  Sounded like an 
awful lot of dogs in the mountains.  But that wasn't her 
problem; riding a motorcycle in an evening dress, that 
WAS.  Fortunately, she kept her dresses ready for action, 
so this one was able to come apart enough to let her ride 
comfortably.  Though the cold evening air didn't help.

	Then she spotted the Interpol police vans, badly 
hidden along one side of the road and cocked an eyebrow.  
How very strange, she thought.  Hopefully not here to 
wreck yet another party I attend.

	But really, they were parked far enough away that it 
probably wasn't an issue.

	Or at least, this time, she wasn't the hostess.

**************

	Osaka groaned.  "These kegs of tea are so heavy!"

	"Naah, they're not so bad, right, Sakaki?" Kagura 
asked Sakaki.  

	"I can carry yours for you," Sakaki offered to Osaka.

	"No, it's my job...AHAH!" Osaka said.

	Yakumo said, "What?"

	Osaka put her barrel down, turning it so that the long 
direction pointed down the mountain. Then she mounted it 
and pushed off, zooming down the slope tobaggon style.  

	"Cool!" Kagura said, doing likewise.

	Soon, all of them but Chiyo were zooming down the 
slope; she rode Tadakichi down after them.  "Wait up for 
us!" she yelled.

	Osaka swayed to one side or the other, wobbling 
around trees and laughing the whole time.

	Yeah, this is gonna be a fun night, Kagura thought.

************

	Yuri, Tae, and Tani piled off the train; a middle aged 
man with a huge auburn afro was waiting for them; he was 
bundled up in warm winter clothing and had a brightly 
colored scarf with tiny green leaves on it.

	"Papa!" Tae said, hugging him.  "Do you still have the 
Van of Love?"

	"Of COURSE I do," he said, hugging her tightly.  "It's 
so nice to see you smiling again."

	Tae laughed nervously.  "Been a while, yeah."

	Mr. Anegasaki came over to Yuri and Tani, holding 
out a hand to each of them.  "I'm Anegasaki Taiki.  Nice to 
meet you."

	"Moteuchi Yuri," Yuri said, shaking one hand.

	"Tani Hayato," Tani said.  

	"You two teach at Tae-chan's school, right?" Mr. 
Anegasaki asked.

	"I teach English," Tani said.

	"I'm a baker, actually, though I'll be starting college 
soon, I hope," Yuri said nervously.

	"Oooh, a baker.  Good, you can ensure we don't all die 
during the holiday!" Mr. Anegasaki said.  "My wife's a 
dear, but she's not a great baker, so she could use some 
help."  He looked around, as if expecting to be hit, but no 
one hit him.  "Though it's already too late to save dinner."  
He shook his head.  "Your sister is here with her husband 
already," he told Tae.

	"Oooh, she is?," Tae asked.  "Did she finally drag her 
husband away from his work?"

	"Well, it is holidays and he's a teacher, so he has no 
work right now," Mr. Anegasaki said, hustling them 
towards the parking lot.

	"Oh, true," Tae said. She took Yuri and Tani by the 
hand.  "Let's go!"

*************

	Karen stared at everything; it's a Doujibiron 
wonderland, she thought.  My little brother would die from 
joy.  She knew she should have expected this, but it still 
caught her by surprise.  Much better than sausage.

	"What is this?" Lala asked her, whispering.

	"Hatenkou Robo Dojibiron, a giant robot superhero 
show," Karen said, pointing to the giant inflated robot 
standing by the ballroom entrance.  Buddha and Ishiyama 
were up on the bandstand, acting as DJs; at the moment, 
they were playing the third OP music from season 4.  

	A large number of confused looking rich people 
clustered near the refreshments stand, which was being 
manned by Nakamura and Yoshidayama, and a few boys 
Karen couldn't remember the names of.  A few couples 
wandered about, studying the decorations and whispering 
to each other.

	"Looks like everyone's as confused as me," Lala said.

	Harry now came out in a Futile Earth Self-Defense 
Force uniform, holding a bundle.  "Got a costume for you, 
Karen."

	Karen blinked.  "You're helping out Imadori?"

	"Oh, he's dead meat, unless Sawachika-san's parents 
have weird tastes," Harry said.  "But I'm bored, and I figure 
this should be good for a few laughs."

	Lala looked at him assessingly.  "But you realize, if he 
loses, he will likely resume his pursuit of Karen, while if he 
wins, he'll be out of your hair forever," she said.

	"..."

	Karen blinked.

	"As he clearly can't stand to see you with her, being a 
jealous little punk that he is," Lala said.  "I'm torn myself 
between the desire to see him die and the desire to keep 
him away from Karen."

	"As am I," Harry said.  "But you should probably put 
on the costume so we can make fun of it all, Karen."

	Karen wasn't so sure that was wise, but she decided to 
go along with it for now.

*************

	"How is it going?" Eri's mother asked Eri.

	"The true horror isn't obvious at the front door," Eri 
said.  "So it...ahh!"

	She jumped as she saw her mother was now dressed as 
one of the major villains of Dojibirion, Evil Queen Fatora; 
this involved a huge red wig of wavy red hair with golden 
crown, a very skimpy purple dress, and huge boots.  Eri felt 
key brain cells dying even from just looking.  "Mother, 
you..."

	"I need to get back and help your father get his outfit 
on.  It's rather elaborate.  And too cold out here for me in 
this," Ami Sawachika said.

	"You look PERFECT," Imadori said, taking Ami's 
hand and kissing it.  "Your highness captures the look 
perfectly."

	"I can't believe you're doing this!" Eri said to her 
mother.

	"I'm just trying to help out," Ami Sawachika said to 
her daughter.  "It's nice to let my hair down sometimes."

	"Everyone will think you are crazy!" Eri said.

	"New Years' Eve is a good time to get a little crazy," 
Ami Sawachika said.  "You're not going to be a spoilsport 
at all the parties, are you?"

	"Maybe," Eri grumbled.

	Her mother shook her head sadly.  "Well, that's your 
loss, dear.  I'd best get inside.  Keep your fiancee 
company."

	Eri grumbled under her breath.

	Her mother slid inside, and Imadori said, "I still have a 
Doujibiron Yellow costume for you, if you want it."

	"No," Eri said.  "I'm just fine."

	"As you like."

****************
	
	Lots of people milled about; a few danced; the 
pachinko machines were a big hit, as people at least 
understood what they were.  Until they got a Doujibiron 
based prize, anyway.  

	Buddha stolidly watched over the Pachinko machines, 
observing Yukari, who was obsessively pumping coins into 
one of the machines, but whose fumble fingers meant she 
lost most of her balls.  He tried to decide whether to 
intervene.

	"Nyamo-chan, I think someone's rigged this machine," 
Yukari said to the air; Nyamo and Umino had wandered off 
to the dance floor.  

	"These machines are clean," a deep man's voice said, 
sounding irritated.  "You simply are too incompetent to 
handle pachinko."

	She turned and said, in English, "You are too ignorant 
to criticize me, whoever you are."  THAT should intimidate 
the man, she was sure.

	The large bulky man, dark haired and dressed in a nice 
suit, said, "My company MADE these machines," in 
English.  "You are somewhat drunk and probably clumsy 
when sober."

	Buddha blinked, and listened curiously.  There had 
been that one rigged machine.

	"Uh huh.  I've heard THAT pickup line before," 
Yukari said.  "I already have a boyfriend."

	The big man stared at her mindlessly for a moment, 
then said, "I don't need a drunk for a girlfriend.  And I'm 
Tarakawa Kenichi, president of the Tarakawa Gaming 
Machines Corporation."  He pointed to the logo on the side.

	Yukari folded her arms under her breasts.  "Gonna 
have to see some ID, mister."

	He sighed and produced his driver's license.

	Buddha said, "I believe he tells the truth, sensei."

	"At least SOMEONE is sensible," Mr. Tarakawa said, 
folding his arms across his chest.

	Yukari peered at the ID, then passed it back.  "Okay, 
so you're a big fat man who owns a company.  Doesn't 
mean this machine doesn't CHEAT."

	"I'll show you."  He stepped up; his fingers flew at 
blinding speed, manipulating flippers with precision, 
enabling him to catch every ball.

	Buddha's eyes widened.  A true genius of Pachinko.  
He felt a little envy that the man had been able to follow his 
dream to its logical limit; Buddha feared his own goals of 
running a movie company might never come true.  

	Yukari stared.  "But...the balls...they don't..."

	"What's my prize, lad?" the man asked Buddha.

	"Well, maybe I'd better call Imadori-san, if you don't 
mind," Buddha said.  "He'll be stunned you won it, but if I 
gave it away without him, he'd cry."

	"Alright," the man said.

	Yukari frowned and tried playing again; still no luck.

	Buddha called Imadori in; he arrived with 
Yoshidayama in tow.  "What's..."  then he saw the package 
in Buddha's hands.  "He...he won it?"  Imadori looked 
stunned.

	"Imadori Kyousuke?  I'm Tarakawa Kenichi; my 
company made the machines you're renting," he said.  
"May I see my prize?"

	"I hoped no one would win it," Imadori mumbled, 
looking lost in the lonely void.

	Buddha handed the package; one side was clear, 
showing a first printing, first season Doujirbiron poster, 
signed by all of the original cast.  It was in mint condition.  
"Be careful; there are those who would kill for this."

	"For a signed poster?" Mr. Tarakawa asked.

	"Yes."

	Mr. Tarakawa looked very thoughtful and took it 
carefully.  "Well, then, I will treasure it."

	"Kyousuke-kun, this machine hates me!  Make it obey 
my will," Yukari said to Imadori.

	Mr. Tarakawa's eyebrows rose a moment, then fell.  
"Well, if I stay, I'll just take everyone else's prizes.  Are the 
machines performing well?"

	"Very well, sir," Buddha said.

	"Is Takano Akira-san at the party yet?" Mr. Tarakawa 
said.  "I wish to meet her."

	Imadori, who had gone over to help Yukari, spun on 
his heel.  "Her breasts are so small, though."

	"At my age, women with big breasts start sagging and 
it makes your eyes burn out," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "It's 
better to have smaller breasts which will retain more of 
their original shape."

	Imadori thought about this and felt brain cells dying in 
horror.  It could not be!  Were Miko-chin and Lala-chan 
doomed?  There had to be something that could be done to 
save their breasts!  But what?

	"Takano-san is here with her boyfriend, I believe," 
Buddha said.

	"Ahh, very good."

	"But I have no clue where," Buddha said.  "Maybe 
dancing?"

	"I will check there," Mr. Tarakawa said, and executed.

	"See, the first problem is that you have to invoke the 
five pilots before you try to play a Doujibiron pachinko 
machine," Imadori said, taking each of Yukari's hands as he 
stood behind her, leading her into a sort of dance routine.  

	Buddha watched stolidly, wondering idly why the man 
wanted to find Akira.

****************

	"The cat is in lockdown, right?" Sagano asked 
Nakamura.

	"I locked him in the laundry room," Nakamura said.

	"And reinforced the door?" she asked nervously.

	"I am quite sure he won't jump on your face tonight," 
he said.

	She gave a sigh of relief.  "Thank you.  You're a good 
man, Nakamura-san."

	"Just doing my job," he said.  

	"Okay!  Time to have fun!" she said, and ran off.

	He went and checked on the cat; it was napping 
peacefully.  He smiled and closed and locked the door 
again.  

	Things would be peaceful this time, he was sure.

****************

	Tae's mother looked much like her daughters, except 
for having some grey streaks in her hair and very long, thin 
fingers.  She was wearing an apron, as was her other 
daughter, who was busy cooking while her little 
granddaughter tried to help.  "Moteuchi-san, it's so nice to 
meet you!"  She gave Yuri a very crushing hug, then held 
out a hand to Tani-sensei.  "And it's so nice to meet you 
too, Tani-sensei!"

	Tae went over to hug her sister Eiko.  "Eiko-neechan, 
how are you?"

	"We're doing very well; my husband is feeling very 
proud of his students, as they did well on exams," Eiko 
said.  She looked like Tae if you added about 5 more levels 
of flightiness and just a few years to her.

	"It's nice to meet you," Tani-sensei said.  He could feel 
his nerves finally relaxing.  It looked like this visit would 
go well.

	Yuri felt her nerves relaxing as well.  Surely, this 
would be a quiet, peaceful New Years.  "Would you like us 
to help?"

	Standing behind Mrs. Anegasaki, where her mother 
could not see her, Eiko mouthed 'PLEASE' to Yuri.

	"Sure, dear.  I've got the stew under control, so how 
about if you make us a nice dessert.  We had a little trouble 
with the key lime pie," Mrs. Anegasaki said.

	"Hug me!",  little Shouko commanded her aunt.  Tae 
laughed and picked her up.  

	"Did it not thicken enough when you beat it all 
together?," Yuri asked, switching over to professional 
baker mode.

	Eiko pointed at the ceiling, which had a thin layer of 
yellow and green all over it.

	"I see," Yuri said, nonplussed.

	"Tani-san, my husband and Kimura-san should be in 
the parlor if you want to stay with them while we cook," 
Mrs. Anegasaki said to him.

	Shouko now looked at Tani curiously.  "Are you the 
evil man who made my aunt cry?"

	"No, he's the wonderful man who makes me smile," 
Tae said to her niece, who she was holding.

	"I do my best to make her smile every day," Tani-
sensei said to the little girl.

	"Okay," Shouko said, though it was hard to tell if she 
was convinced.

	Tani kissed Yuri and Tae on the cheeks and went out 
to the parlor, where he found it was rather cold; the parlor 
doors were open and Mr. Anegasaki sat by them, smoking, 
letting his smoke drift outside.  

	Kimura-sensei sat, calmer than usual, in a nice plush 
chair; you couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep.  The two 
men were quiet; Tani was reluctant to break the silence, so 
he just sat down.

	Finally, Kimura stirred, his eyes hidden behind his 
glasses.  "I understand my nephew is in one of your 
classes."

	"Who is he?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"Imadori Kyousuke," Kimura-sensei said.  "His 
mother is my sister."

	"Yes.  He's a mediocre student, spends his time 
chasing women," Tani-sensei said.

	"Good, good, you must seize your teenage years while 
you still have them," Kimura-sensei said.  "Too many 
beautiful young ladies to chase.  You can always study 
once youth is gone."

	"..."

	Mr. Anegasaki puffed away, looking out the window.  
They were up on a cliff overlooking a beach; there were 
docks and three ships tied up--a yacht, a motorboat, and a 
rowboat.  

	"Being ready for college exams is crucial to one's 
future," Tani-sensei argued.

	"Did it make you half as happy as my sister-in-law 
makes you now?" Kimura-sensei asked.

	"I...uh..."  Tani-sensei stared off at the beach.  "No," 
he said softly.  "But there's..."

	"Not everyone is as lucky as you," Kimura-sensei said.  
"Most of us won't find love late in life.  I love my wife 
dearly, and if I hadn't chased girls in high school, we would 
never have met!" he said.

	"You asked her out in high school and now you're 
married?" Tani-sensei asked.  That was kind of romantic.

	"We were after the same girl.  Oh, that got ugly. We 
competed for years, until we realized it would work so 
much better if we worked together," Kimura-sensei said.  
"So we got married."  He gave a happy sigh.  "She's a 
wonderful woman."

	"..."  Tani-sensei looked over at Mr. Anegasaki, who 
was still puffing away, though his cigarette was almost 
gone.  He seems so much more taciturn than he was in the 
car, Tani-sensei thought.

	Kimura looked at him, walked over, and clapped his 
hands by one ear.

	Mr. Anegasaki jumped in his chair, then nearly 
swallowed his cigarette.  After some coughing, he said, 
"Did I fall asleep smoking again?"

	"Yes, father," Kimura-sensei said.

	"I'm just too damn good at this for my own good," Mr. 
Anegasaki grumbled.  "You two trading teacher stories?"

	"Yes, Father, and I was telling him about how I met 
Eiko," Kimura-sensei said.

	Mr. Anegasaki shook his head.  "Both my daughters 
were so rebellious in high school.  Eiko chased all those 
people and I think Tae was trying to become Malcom X or 
something."

	"That would be difficult," Tani-sensei said, imagining 
Tae in blackface.  He laughed at the thought, but then 
wondered what she'd been like then.  He had a few hints, 
but she didn't like to talk about those years.

	"So how did you and Tae-san meet?" Kimura-sensei 
asked.

	"She got hired to be school nurse at our school so the 
previous nurse could start teaching full-time," Tani-sensei 
explained.  He smiled a little dreamily.  "And then she 
made me cookies and it spiralled from there."

	Mr. Anegasaki smiled.  "It's so nice to see her smiling 
again.  She was so rebellious and then so sad..."  He shook 
his head.  "Though I hadn't realized she took after her 
sister."

	"Hmm?"

	"The other girl," Mr. Anegasaki said.  "Moteuchi-san."

	"When Tae-san knows what she wants, nothing will 
stop her," Tani-sensei said, laughing nervously.  

	"My daughters both got that from their mother," Mr. 
Anegasaki said.  "She wanted to be a writer and NOTHING 
would stop her.  I remember she learned to change a diaper 
with one hand and type with the other."  He shook his head, 
pulled out another cigarette and lit up.  "Just be gentle with 
her."

	"I will, sir."  Tani wanted to ask if he was okay with 
the whole...way he and Tae and Yuri were doing things, but 
he was afraid to broach the subject.

	They sat in silence a while, and Tani finally said, "Do 
you think the weather will be good enough for us to go 
boating?"

	"I hope so.  I'd like to go tomorrow evening, once all 
the visitations and things are over.  The neighbors will be 
coming by in the morning.  We're just going to have a quiet 
little party tonight," Mr. Anegasaki said, leaning back in his 
chair.  

	"Good, we could use one," Tani-sensei said.

	"And if it doesn't stay quiet, we'll have more people to 
fight off the ice demons," Mr. Anegasaki said.

	"..."

	Kimura laughed.  "I fell for it too the first time, Tani-
san."

	"..."

	Mr. Anegasaki chuckled quietly.  "At least this time 
we'll survive dessert.  Tae-chan speaks very highly of 
Moteuchi-san's cooking skills."

	"She's most excellent, though Tae-san is good too," 
Tani-san said.

	"They had to learn, my daughters, so the four of us 
wouldn't die from my wife's cooking.  She wouldn't be so 
bad if she would stop trying to write and cook at the same 
time, but..."  Mr. Anegasaki shook his head and yawned.  
"You can't ever tell her what to do.  So I've just learned to 
slack and let her do it her way and then laugh when it 
blows up on her.  Then run."

	Tani-sensei laughed at that, as did Kimura.

	They lapsed into an amiable silence again, which was 
fine with Tani-sensei.  He felt due for a little relaxation.  

****************

	Yuuki watched Fuyuki and Sagano dance, feeling just 
a little jealous and wishing she could join them.  Stupid 
propriety.  But she had to be careful of her mother's 
massive gossip network.  She didn't think her mother knew 
any rich people, but supposition was the road to self 
destruction at Yuuki's house.

	Tenma bounced up to her with Karasuma.  "Come 
dance to the weird music with us!"

	"But you...I wouldn't want to..." Yuuki began.

	She was unable to resist Tenma dragging her out into a 
weird dance with Tenma and Karasuma that involved a lot 
of bobbing around like a living fishing lure.  She could see 
many confused rich people watching them from a distance, 
as if studying their actions.

	She also could see Eri's parents sitting on thrones, 
looking very amused and completely over the top.  

	Well, if they can enjoy this, so can I, Yuuki thought.  
She began bobbing along, pretending to be a fish decoy.  

	It beat feeling sorry for herself.

**************

	Yoshidayama was getting some beer when a shadow 
loomed over him.  Keiichi had positioned himself between 
Yoshidayama and one of the spotlights.  "If you touch my 
girlfriend tonight, you will DIE," he said.

	"You wanna take me?  We can step outside right 
now," Yoshidayama said confidently.

	"I'm not going to be a bad guest unless I have to.  But 
I will take out the garbage if I must," Keiichi said.

	Yoshidayama looked at Tenma dancing and thought 
about being pulled out of the garbage.  She wouldn't be 
happy if he started a fight.  And it would be easy to 
provoke Keiichi into being the bad guy, anyway.  "Alright, 
your wussness."  He turned to go get some sausage and 
rice; the food bar was GREAT, in his opinion.

	Keiichi grimaced, but then Shinichi dragged him 
away.

	I win again, Yoshidayama thought.  Time to eat to 
refuel my engine before I unleash my unstoppable macking 
skills.

**************

	"Did you defeat the porn monster?" Tougo asked Ami.

	Ami looked embarrassed.  "Yes, thank you."

	They were out on the porch, where Makoto, Rei, and 
Mai were trying to cook everyone dinner, while the others 
goofed off.

	Mai mostly managed to ignore her fits of jealousy and 
worked with Makoto and Rei to cook.  Rei seemed to have 
a natural affinity for grilling, and Mai got the impression 
Makoto was a very expert chef.  So she just played flunky.

	"So what's this thing I'm mixing up called?" Mai asked 
as she stirred one concoction.

	"Coleslaw.  Mom says it's obligatory to have with 
barbeque," Minako said.

	From the kitchen inside, Mrs. Aino shouted, "IT'S 
THE LAW!"

	Mai laughed softly.  "So where do you guy...gals go to 
school?"

	"Juuban High," Makoto said, carefully preparing some 
meat with her secret blend of herbs and spices.  "Except for 
Rei at her hoity-toity Catholic girls' school."

	"T and A Academy," Rei said.

	Tougo snarfed his glass of tea up through his nose, 
then fell down.

	Ami just shook her head, while everyone else looked 
confused.  

	I should know this, Mai thought.  Why is Tougo 
laughing?

	Tougo rolled around on the floor, until Rei kicked 
him.  "Get a grip."

	He pulled himself up with the porch railing.  "I would 
expect..." he began, then caught himself.  "Nothing.  I'm 
sure it's a fine school."

	"Everyone here laughs hysterically, then won't tell 
me," Rei said, grumbling.  

	"I don't laugh," Usagi said.

	"Because you don't get the joke," Minako said, 
grinning.

	Mai wished she got the joke too.

*****************
		
	Akira bounced back and forth at the drink bar, waiting 
for Nara to return; the bathroom had called him away.  She 
was idly sipping a screwdriver when a shadow fell over 
her.  She turned and saw Mr. Tarakawa.  She studied him, 
wondering who he was and why he was looking at her.

	"Hmm, good," he said.

	She raised an eyebrow.  "Yes?"

	"You have a body which will last.  Very important," 
Mr. Tarakawa said.

	"What?"  Akira kept her voice non-committal and 
wondered if the man was hitting on her.  He was too big 
and bulky for her.

	"My apologies.  I am Tarakawa Kenichi.  My business 
had some dealings with you, through my assistant," he said, 
bowing deeply.

	She felt honored at that and bowed back.  "A pleasure 
to meet you.  Hayasaka-san was very helpful."  And easy to 
wind around your finger.

	Mr. Tarakawa smiled a slightly predatory smile.  
"Indeed.  Are you planning to major in business in 
college?"

	"Most likely.  A woman must plan solidly for the 
future," Akira said.

	He nodded.  "Indeed.  I understand you are a top 
student as well."

	"Yes, I am," Akira said, then said, "I fear you know 
me better than I know you."

	"I am but the humble servant of fate," he said in a 
manner which belied any humility.  "Given a windfall of 
luck, I parlayed it into my current fortune and taught 
myself the doctrines of business in my spare time.  I believe 
into every life, there comes one shining moment when, if 
we are wise, we can seize a dream and become something 
better than what we were.  But we must be ready to do what 
it takes to follow that dream."

	"I don't believe in shining moments," Akira said.  
"Luck has no innate meaning; we just have to seize the 
chances we are given."

	"You may be right; you seem to me the sort of woman 
who makes the best of every situation," he said, now 
plucking a glass off the nearby table and sipping his tea.  
"Hmm, too much mint."

	"Yes, I think they overdid it, and it drowned out the 
lemon entirely," Akira said.  "Imadori-kun would have 
been wiser to avoid pre-packaged teas," she continued, 
finishing her own glass and getting a fresh one, which she 
sniffed curiously.  "What tea do you like best?"

	"Fujian Imperial Red from one of the Golden Seven 
plantations," he said, smiling, swishing his glass around a 
little and sipping it, which amused her.

	She cocked an eyebrow.  "You normally can't get that 
outside China."

	"Money has its privileges," he said, then stroked his 
chin as if he had a beard, which he did not.  

	She nodded.  "Indeed."  Maybe he is hitting on me, 
she thought.  It was flattering.  Even if he wasn't her type.  
Mostly, anyway.

	"Is your...partner here? Or is he busy planning his 
party tomorrow?" Mr. Tarakawa asked.

	"He's not planning to attend," Akira said.  "He's busy 
with last-minute work for our party, while I scout this out."

	Mr. Tarakawa said, "He's a hard worker?"

	"I can make him be a hard worker," Akira said, 
sipping her tea.  

	Mr. Tarakawa took a deep draught of his, laughing a 
little.  "Still needs a kick to get him going?"

	"Yes," Akira said.  "He has a very creative mind, but 
like most artists, lacks discipline."  What is he probing for, 
she wondered.  He's clearly curious about us.  Though it 
may just be because we all outmanuevered him.  

	Maybe he's contemplating recruiting me on 
graduation, she realized.  While she didn't see pachinko 
making as her long-term goal, perhaps some sort of 
internship during college would look good for later.  It's 
important to make contacts, she told herself.  Even if he 
does seem to be trying to dig information out of me.

	"Will you be attending the morning party?" she asked.

	"I don't know, I may be recovering from this one."  He 
gave a jolly laugh she could tell was a little forced; he was 
clearly a man who was more serious than a joker, usually.

	She nodded.  "Well, I will have to leave this one early 
so I can get up to run the morning one with Kenji-kun."

	The man nodded as if something had been confirmed.  
But what?

	"Well, I shouldn't monopolize your time," he said.  "If 
there is any trouble with my machines tomorrow, call me or 
Hayasaka-san."

	"Of course," she said, watching him go.  What was his 
scheme?  She didn't know, but now she needed to find out.

*****************

	Dinner was a crab stew, and Tani-sensei thought it 
was very good.  It was, in fact, the best meal he'd had in 
months, as his own parents tended to eat Spartanly, even at 
Christmas, and he was not much of a cook himself.  

	The one flaw was that the bread was a little 
overcooked, but the stew let him forget it.  After a while of 
dinner and conversation, he could feel his tension floating 
away.  He hadn't realized how rough the last week had been 
until now.

	"So you're planning to do business school?" Kimura-
sensei asked Yuri.

	Yuri nodded.  "Yes.  Then I'll be in a better position to 
start a big-city bakery."

	"Good luck, college is hard," Eiko said.

	"College was hard for you because you spent most of 
your time chasing boyfriends and girlfriends," her mother 
said.  This was clearly an old bone of contention.

	Eiko did not rise to the bait.  "But you'll meet lots of 
nice people."

	Mrs. Anegasaki shook her head and sighed into her 
stew.

	Mr. Anegasaki took a puff from his cigarette and blew 
a smoke ring, which gradually drifted off towards the open 
window in the living room.

	"Papa, smoking is bad for you, you know," Tae said, 
waggling a finger.

	"EVERYTHING is bad for me at my age.  I'd rather 
die a little early and enjoy it all," he said.  "Though I may 
have to quit to keep from freezing to death."

	"I don't want this house stunk up like the old one," 
Mrs. Anegasaki said.  

	"It is a little cold," Tae said.

	"The cold will make you strong," her mother said.  "So 
how long have you three been seeing each other?"

	They're so...blase about it, Tani thought.  Which was a 
relief, but also was surprising, though it explained why Tae 
had been so...ready for something like that.  

	"A few months," Tae said.  Counting time in the other 
universe.  She thought.  She'd lost track of time there.  "We 
met when Yurippe came to Tokyo to seduce her old friend 
Tanisa."

	Yuri laughed nervously.  "Well, I..."

	"Oh, you were totally after him, just shy about it," Tae 
said, smiling.  "We went on a tour of Tokyo together, and 
things took off from there."

	"Lightning doesn't really strike people who smoke at 
Tokyo Tower, does it?" Mr. Anegasaki asked.

	"I don't think so," Tani said.

	"What gave you that idea?" Kimura-sensei asked in 
surprise.

	"I knew she was making it up," Mr. Anegasaki 
grumbled.

	"When you're that gullible, you deserve anything that 
happens, dear," Mrs. Anegasaki said, finishing her crab 
stew.  "Will everyone want some pie?"

	"Yes, please," Tani said.

	Assent was chorused.

	"I'll help you," Eiko said, going in with her mother.

	Tani whispered to Tae, "Is she likely to sabotage the 
pie by accident at the last minute if left alone with it?"

	"Eiko-chan's just paranoid ever since her graduation 
cake ended up being made with brown sugar, because it 
was all we had and Mother was too busy finishing 'Hearts 
On Fire' to notice," Tae whispered back.  

	"..."

	"She may well get distracted, forget we're eating, and 
start writing again if Eiko doesn't go with her," Tae 
whispered.

	The kitchen began to rattle and bang.

	Mr. Anegasaki sighed.  "It's a good thing I got used to 
waiting for food in the military," he mumbled.

	Tae just shook her head.

	The rattling and banging got louder.

	"She got her hands on the terminal again, I see," 
Kimura-sensei said, shaking his head.

	"I really thought I'd tucked it away where she wouldn't 
see it," Yuri said.

	"We all do our best, but sometimes, the madness is 
just upon her and she wants to write," Tae said, shaking her 
head and rising.  "I'll go get the pie while Eiko-chan 
wrestles Mama."

	"She doesn't...while driving, does she?" Tani-sensei 
asked warily.

	"I do the driving," Mr. Anegasaki said.  "Though we 
have no computer terminal in the car, so she's safe so long 
as she doesn't have the laptop."

	Tani filed that under things to remember.

*****************

	Imadori studied the dynamics of the crowd.  He knew 
enough about parties to tell that much of his audience was 
lurking nervously at the fringes like young teenagers at a 
school dance.  He was going to have to get them out on the 
dance floor or this wasn't going to work.  Hardly any of 
them were watching any of the RARE videos he'd found 
for the three video rooms either.  What was wrong with 
these people?

	He went to the door with Yoshidayama and Ishiyama.  
"Boys, you're manning the door.  Fiancee, you have to 
come dance with me."

	Eri turned and looked at Imadori with fire in her eyes.  
"No."

	"Please?" he asked.

	"No."

	He began making the sad eyes at her.  "Pretty please 
with a cherry on top?"

	"Come on, it's only one dance," Ishiyama said to Eri.  
"He is your fiancee."

	"Not if he loses this contest," Eri said with barely 
suppressed glee.  

	"Hey, why don't you dance with me, and leave him 
here to cry?" Yoshidayama suggested.  "You gotta be bored 
of staying at the door all this time."

	"So true," Eri said.  "People might think I LIKE this 
stupid party."

	Well, that might work, Imadori said.  "Okay, have fun.  
I'll stay here with Ishiyama-san and we can brief incoming 
guests."

	Yoshidayama led Eri inside by the hand; he felt 
excited and nervous at once, his head bobbing about.  
Gonna dance with Eri, score me some dancing with Jenny, 
beat the shit out of Keiichi...LIFE IS GOOD.

	They got inside, and he could feel a weird heat on his 
back; turning, he noticed Eri's mother watching him, 
frowning.  He ignored that and led her out onto the floor, 
then stiffly began trying to waltz.  

	Eri looked a little sad at first, then lightened up as they 
danced.  "Just relax," she whispered.

	He smiled at her nervously, trying to get his cool back.  
He'd dreamed of doing this with her, but had increasingly 
thought it would never happen, but now it was.  He tried to 
relax, but that just made his body flop about too much.

	"So does Imadori have any surprises in store for us?" 
Eri asked softly.

	"Well, he's gonna show the Doujibiron New Years' 
Special on the big wall screen, starting at 11.  It's got the 
rare original footage of them counting down and the 
Yellow Ranger flubs her counting.  Pretty funny."  He 
laughed.  

	Eri tittered gently as Yoshidayama clumsily spun her 
around.  They passed Tenma and Yuuki and Karasuma and 
Sagano and Fuyuki, who were now doing some sort of 
weird looking circular dance thing.  

	"So, you gonna kiss your fiancee at midnight like your 
Mother wants?" Yoshidayama said.  He knew where HIS 
lips would be.  

	Eri wobbled slightly, then said, "Not if I can help it."  
There was something in her voice which made him wonder 
if she had a trick up her sleeve.  

	"Yeah, I'm gonna be getting me some American 
action," Yoshidayama bragged, dodging her foot narrowly.

	Eri smiled at that, which unnerved him slightly.  He'd 
meant to be more...less...women usually took saying things 
that way pretty badly.  "So you think you can survive 
offending Keiichi-san?"

	"I can handle his candy ass," Yoshidayama said 
confidently.  

	"If you say so," Eri said.  "Thank you for passing me 
information on Imadori's plans."

	"Glad to help a real gentlewoman," Yoshidayama said.  
"It's a man's duty."

	Eri nodded, and the music paused.  She let go of his 
hand and curtseyed.  He bowed.  "Thank you," she said, 
then scampered off.

	That was cool, he thought.  Now, it's time to find 
Jenny.

**************

	"Probably he just wants to see who was good enough 
to out-talk his man," Mikoto said to Akira.

	Akira nodded; the two of them were standing by one 
wall; Akira had sent Hanai in search of Nara, who seemed 
to have been eaten alive by the bathroom.  "That's true.  
He'll probably want to see Yakumo, but I think she's off 
planning last minute things with her group."

	Mikoto looked around.  "Seems to me like most of her 
group is here, but she isn't."  She glanced off at Miki and 
Masahiro dancing and wondered if she was going to have 
to send him after Hanai.  

	Akira glanced off.  "They should be back."

	Mikoto sighed.  "I'll get Masahiro, see if the toilet 
monster gets him too."

	"A risk we'll have to take."

*****************

	Nara was perched up on the back of a toilet, holding a 
bottle high in the air over his head.  "Poison is bad!" he said 
as Hanai came in.

	"It's not poison, it'll just make him a little nauseous," 
Keiichi said, trying to reach it.

	"What the hell are you two doing?" Hanai asked.

	"Trying to prevent deaths!" Nara said.

	"It won't kill anyone!  It's just a bunch of nasty stuff 
mixed to make people a little sick and overload their 
tastebuds!  Jalapenos and hot sauce and mustard don't 
KILL," Keiichi said.

	Hanai sighed.  "He's not worth getting this worked up, 
Keiichi-san."

	"He's not hitting on your girlfriend!  And she isn't 
egging him on!"  Keiichi banged his head against the wall.  
"I hate it when Jenny gets like this."

	"If he gets sick, you'll get in trouble," Nara said 
firmly.

	Keiichi jumped for the bottle and failed, then Hanai 
pulled him back.  "He's not worth it, he's just a punk," 
Hanai said.  "If you ignore him, she'll quit.  Though 
whether a woman who does that is worth..."

	He got cut off by Keiichi.  "She's worth it!  Except 
when she's like this."  He sighed.

	They were still arguing this when Masahiro arrived.  
"You guys rioting or what?  The women are getting 
curious."

	"Tell these two that we need to kill the little blonde 
punk," Keiichi said.

	Masahiro sighed. "Look, your girlfriend is being a 
moron and so are you.  You really think she'd dump you for 
that stupid looking little punk?"

	"I...well..." Keiichi stared at the floor.

	"If she would, you ought to just dump her and move 
on.  As you're doomed if her taste is that bad," Masahiro 
said.  "Just ignore him and she'll stop trying to bait you into 
whatever the hell she thinks she is doing."

	He looked over.  "Nara-san, why are you on the toilet 
back?"

	"It's the only way I can get taller than Keiichi to keep 
this stuff from being used."  He waved the bottle.

	"Throw it to me," Masahiro said.  "I'll dispose of it."

	Nara tossed it to him, while Hanai nodded.

	"You should just tell her to stop trying to make you 
jealous," Hanai said to Keiichi.

	"Not all of us can just get women to do whatever we 
want, unlike you two," Keiichi said, pouting into the 
mirror.

	"Hey, I've never been all that good with women," 
Masahiro began.

	"You have two girlfriends at once, you and Hanai-
san!" Keiichi said.  "How do you do it?  Jenny just does 
whatever she wants, and I can't stop her."

	"We're not sharing our girlfriends," Hanai said firmly.  
Not exactly, anyway.

	"Hanai-san's not the best at getting women to do what 
he wants, really; they kind of push him around too," Nara 
offered.

	"Nara-san!"

	Masahiro smiled a little.  "It's not easy for anyone, 
Keiichi, but it's better than fighting pointlessly with a little 
punk."

	Karasuma stepped in.  "Is the party in here?"

	Masahiro passed the bottle to him.  "Can you dispose 
of this?"

	Karasuma opened it, then drained the whole bottle in 
one gulp.

	Everyone stared at him in shock.

	He belched once, then went to the sink and took a 
draught of water.  "Too much tobasco," he concluded.

	"..."  Keiichi stared at him.

	"See?  Revenge isn't easy," Masahiro said.

	Keiichi sighed.  "Fine, fine.  I'll just forget revenge for 
now, since someone ate my revenge."

	Nara giggled a little, still up on the toilet.

	There was a banging on the door, and they heard 
Jenny say, "What's going on in there?  You people ever 
coming out?"

	"Soon," Hanai shouted.

	"You're not having a giant man-orgy without us, are 
you?" Miki asked through the door.

	Keiichi drank a little water, then said, "No women 
allowed at the giant man-orgy!"

	"Hey!  You can't have a giant man-orgy without 
letting us watch!" Jenny said, rattling the door.  "You 
locked the door!"

	"We did?" Keiichi said.

	"I did," Karasuma said.  "What happens in the 
bathroom, stays in the bathroom."

	Nara fell over laughing, while Keiichi tittered and 
Masahiro and Hanai tried to not laugh too much.

	"Why are you laughing?  What are you DOING?" 
Miki asked.

	"Giant man-orgy!" Keiichi said.  He seemed to have 
his humor back.  "Oooh, Nara-san..."

	The door rattled.  "Dammit, if you're all naked and 
sweaty, I want to see it!" Jenny said.  "Let us in!"

	It was a tiny revenge, but Keiichi would take what he 
could get.

***************

	"She has definite potential," Mr. Tarakawa said to Mr. 
Sawachika.  "You shouldn't let her get away, if you can 
help it."

	He nodded, looking simultaneously dignified and silly 
in his officer uniform.  "Well, that is up to our daughter, but 
she seems to have collected a quite talented group of 
friends."

	"So is this engagement contest serious?" Mr. 
Tarakawa asked.

	"Quite serious," Mr. Sawachika said, watching his 
wife dance with one of her cousins, who looked lost and 
confused.  "As serious as this party."

	Mr. Tarakawa frowned, trying to figure out if he was 
sincere or sarcastic.  "I see.  But why such a limited field, 
then?"

	"Keeping things on a manageable scale," Mr. 
Sawachika said smoothly.  Mr. Tarakawa was sure the man 
was hiding something, though.

	"So what do you think of the Harima boy, then?", Mr. 
Tarakawa asked.

	"He's a delinquent punk with no focus.  He draws 
well, though," Mr. Sawachika said. "I'll be surprised if he 
does well, even with Takano-san helping him."

	Mr. Tarakawa frowned at that.  "You think so?"

	"Well, he did make a good impression on some of our 
relatives, but he had to go heavily into debt to do so," Mr. 
Sawachika said.  "A risky gamble for a high-schooler.  He 
does have Mihama-san backing him, though."

	Mr. Tarakawa's eyes flickered.  "Support from the 
Mihama clan?  Not bad for a high schooler."

	"Not bad.  But we'll have to see if it's enough."  His 
voice indicated he suspected it would not be.

	We'll see indeed, Mr. Tarakawa thought.

***************

	"Gonzales-san, would you like to dance?" Shinichi 
asked Lala as she stood, watching everyone.  

	She half-jumped out of her skin.  "Kobayashi-san," 
she said.  "Sure."  Kobayashi was a gentleman; he talked 
too much about baseball, but Lala otherwise approved of 
him.  And watching Karen dance was slowly making her 
crazy.

	They danced quietly for a little while, both skilled at 
what they were doing, and then he said, "I understand you'll 
sing tomorrow?"

	"Yes," she said.  "I warn you it is not my strong 
point."

	"Me neither," Shinichi said, twirling her around, then 
pulling her in close.  "It's a gangster theme, right?"

	"Yes," Lala said.  "Wear a suit if you can."

	"That should go better than this," Shinichi said, 
looking around.  Some of the older guests had begun to 
dance once Mrs. Sawachika went out on the dance floor, 
but most just looked confused.

	"So would a riot, but little chance of that," she said 
wistfully.

	Dogs howled in the distance.  

	"My luck may turn," Lala said thoughtfully.

	Shinichi hoped not.

****************

	"But what is the tea for?" Harima asked again.

	"Throwing.  In the harbor," Osaka said patiently.

	The dogs and the Indians had rendezvoused together 
and were ready to move in and launch their attack.  Once 
they reached the destination.  Which was going slowly with 
the need to haul so many kegs of tea.  

	"I don't think there's a harbor there," Harima said.

	"There's a dock and a fjord and another dock, ergo, 
harbor," Osaka said.

	Harima blinked.  "Really?"  He didn't remember any 
of that.

	"The East India Company will never know what hit 
them!" Osaka crowed.

	Something like that, anyway, Harima thought.

***************

	Karen lurked by the drink bar, watching Harry dance 
with Lala and told herself to not be jealous.  Just because 
they looked good together was no reason to worry about it, 
even if half the women here had asked him to dance with 
them.  

	"Come and dance with me," Fuyuki said to her, 
startling her.

	"I...you want to?" Karen asked.

	"Sure," he said, leading her out onto the floor.

	Fuyuki was no great dancer, but he wasn't terrible 
either.  "Gonna watch any of the videos?" he asked.  "I'm 
going to catch Doujibiron vs. Mecha-Tokugawa later, as I 
haven't seen it yet."

	"Well, maybe," Karen said.  If she'd still been seeing 
Imadori...but she wasn't.  So she didn't have to.  "I've been 
thinking about trying the pachinko to get something for my 
brother."

	Fuyuki smiled at her warmly.  "That's a good sister," 
he said, steering her to the left of a somewhat nervous 
looking pair of brunettes who were trying to dance to the 
mecha-music.

	"You knew about my brother?" Karen asked in 
surprise.

	"Imadori mentions it a lot.  Or he did," Fuyuki said.

	Karen sighed.

	"Sorry, I won't mention him..."

	He cut off as they saw Imadori dancing towards them 
with some businesswoman, who looked slightly non-
plussed.  "He's coming."

	"Don't let him have me," Karen mumbled.

	What followed was rather like a dogfight in the skies, 
two couples bobbing and weaving through the crowd of 
dancers as Imadori tried to intercept Karen.  They began 
speeding up, which further stirred the cloud of dancers into 
more activity as people got shoved aside and had to dodge 
each other.

	Fuyuki finally solved the crisis by steering close to 
Lala.  When Imadori brushed by her, she grabbed him for 
pounding into the ground, enabling Fuyuki and Karen to 
escape.

	Karen winced at the beating, then sighed and shook 
her head.  

	"Let it go," Fuyuki said softly.  

	She wished it was that easy.

*************


	Imadori walked towards the sound of a door being 
pounded on and found Miki, Kasumi, and Jenny trying to 
get into one of the bathrooms, which seemed to be locked.  
"Ladies, ladies, there's several other bathrooms if your need 
is urgent," he said smoothly.

	Then he heard the moaning noises coming from 
inside.  "Is that...?"

	"Dammit, they're having a giant man-orgy without us 
being able to watch!" Jenny said.  "Can't you unlock this?"

	"What?" Imadori said.  He was pretty sure he'd 
imagined the whole statement.

	"Giant.  Man.  Orgy," Miki said urgently.

	"There's an orgy by giants in there?" Imadori asked.  
How much have they had to drink?  

	"No!  Our boyfriends are having a giant orgy inside!"

	"Oooooh, Nara..."  It was a man's voice...was it Hanai?

	Imadori's brain began painting images; he could feel 
his braincells committing suicide one by one to escape.  He 
backed up in case it was infectious.  "I can't let them out!  
They might infect the other guests!"

	"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jenny said.

	"Look, let them orgy in peace," Imadori said.  "I'll 
quarantine the room and..."

	"What if people need to go?" Miki asked.  "There's not 
THAT many bathrooms, and everyone is drinking so 
much..."

	Imadori frowned.  "There's only one solution to this, 
then.  I'll be back."

	He ran quickly and found Mikoto, who was dancing 
with some businessman and looking bored.  "Doujibiron 
Blue!  You're needed to defend the earth from Yaoi!"  He 
took her by the hand and dragged her off while the 
businessman looked utterly confused.

	"Say what?" Mikoto asked as she was dragged.

	"It's a standoff between your fellow Rangers and the 
forces of Yaoi boyfriends who have sealed themselves into 
a bathroom.  Clearly the evil Queen has infected them," 
Imadori said.  His mind was drifting off into fantasyland as 
pieces of it went dormant or died to protect him from yaoi 
imagery in his head.  

	"Eri's mother turned our boyfriends gay?" Mikoto 
asked in confusion.

	"You're not supposed to know that yet, as this is 
clearly before episode 79," Imadori said, as if even a child 
would know that.  Whatever 'that' was.  "That's when she 
turns Dr. Tori into Princess Pickle Pepper, you know.  Man, 
did everyone get their ass kicked."

	Now Mikoto felt her brain trying to flee this 
conversation.  "I know less than when we started."

	"Knowing you don't know, that's the beginning 
of...something...not knowing?  No, that's not known," 
Imadori mumbled.

	Miki, still in her Green Ranger uniform, grabbed 
Mikoto on her arrival.  "Blue Ranger, our boyfriends are 
doing the Yaoi without us being able to watch!  You've got 
to break this door down so..."

	"Oooh...Masahiro..." Nara howled.

	Mikoto wondered, idly, if Akira would cry, laugh, or 
get turned on by this.  This can't be real, she thought.  Easy 
way to test, though...

	She walked over to Miki.  "Oh no!" she said loudly.  
"All this yaoi has overwhelmed my mind, and I can only 
turn to the Green Ranger, Miki-san, for comfort!  I must 
kiss her, since our boyfriends have abandoned us!"

	"Go!  Go!  KISS FOR JUSTICE!" Imadori shouted.

	Kasumi said, "..."

	Jenny grinned.  "Oh, Kasumi, I burn for you..."

	"You...what..." Kasumi said, not getting it.

	Mikoto swept Miki into an embrace and leaned 
towards her.  Miki's eyes widened, then shut, and she 
nervously leaned towards Mikoto.

	And then Imadori saw the door open just enough for 
four male heads to peer out; he could see they were all 
dressed, and clearly had been faking it.  Miko-chin, you're a 
genius, he thought.  So smart and huge breasts...what a 
wonderful woman.  

	Imadori sprung forward and grabbed the door and 
yanked it open.  "So much for boyfriend yaoi, I see," he 
said as the four men tumbled to the ground, piled on each 
other.

	Akira now took a photo of everyone, looking amused.  
"You going to finish kissing Miki-san, Mikoto-san?"

	Miki and Mikoto jumped away from each other, 
looking embarrassed as their boyfriends peeled themselves 
off the floor.

	"Hey, where is my Shinichi?" Kasumi asked.

	"Probably telling someone too much about baseball," 
Jenny said.

***********
	
	"So father DIVES for the ball and takes it right 
between the eyes and falls over.  I thought he was dead," 
Lala said, laughing.

	She and Shinichi were out on the porch, looking out at 
the stars and the forest and drinking cocktails.  "Did he get 
the ball?"

	"This guy tried to peel it out of father's hand while he 
was down, but Father grabbed him and bodyslammed him," 
Lala said, smiling as the dog howls grew nearer.

	"Man has his priorities straight," Shinichi said.  "Does 
he still have it?  Did he get it autographed?"  He sounded 
envious.

	"I expect he sold it to get beer money," Lala said, 
frowning.  

	"Oh," Shinichi said, a little subdued.

	His phone rang and he blinked.  "Hold on, it's Dad."

	He got on the phone.  "Hey, Dad, what's up?"

	"Is that you flirting with some dark-skinned woman?" 
his father asked.

	"..."

	"Your silence seems to indicate guilt.  You have a 
girlfriend, you know," his father continued.

	"I'm not hitting on her!  We're just being friendly!" 
Shinichi said into the phone.

	Lala blinked.  "Is that Kasumi-san?"

	"I know she's a looker, son, but you have to hold fast!" 
Kobayashi-san said.

	"Dad, are you abusing police equipment to spy on me 
again?" Shinichi asked, aggravated.

	"I'm not spying on YOU.  You just happened to cross 
my field of vision.  The Old Man thinks Lupin III is likely 
to show up."  His father had a sound of despair.

	"Oh jeez, didn't he think Lupin was hiding in my 
closet that one time?" Shinichi asked.

	"So where is your girlfriend?"

	"Trying to see gay people or something," Shinichi 
said.

	There was a pause.

	"Lupin III?" Lala asked.  "My father met him once.  
He was after El Gato Muerte's trophies."

	Kobayashi-san said, "Okay, in that case, you're 
allowed to go flirt with some foreigner.  Just stay out of 
trouble and try to not look like any of Lupin's gang, okay?"

	"I'll try," Shinichi said.  

	"Father likes to claim the woman had a crush on 
him...Lupin's girlfriend, that is.  But I incline to think he 
probably imagined it," Lala said, shaking her head.

	"So what's her name, anyway?" Kobayashi-san asked.

	"Gonzales Lala," Shinichi said.

	Lala looked curious.

	There was a silence, and then...  "She's clean," 
Kobayashi-san said.

	"..."

	It's not easy being a cop's son.

***************
	
	Osaka checked the map.  "Okay, we turn left here."

	"Let me see that," Harima said, taking it.  "Hey, you're 
holding it upside down!"

	"I was afraid I'd tear the top some more, since it's 
already damaged," Osaka said.

	We may end up having to attack Harima's own party 
at this rate, Kagura thought.

**************

	Umino kept an eye on Yukari, who was dancing with 
Umino's cousin Lars, who was half-Swedish, half-Japanese.  
Yukari seemed to be charming him tremendously; Umino 
hoped she wasn't going to sell him some line of goods.  
Though she really seemed dedicated to Imadori in her own 
warped way.  

	Umino himself was dancing with Karen, while her 
boyfriend was dancing with Nyamo.  "You sing very well," 
he told her.

	She blushed a little.  "You flatter me."

	"Will you be performing at one of the parties?" Umino 
asked.  

	Lars was smiling very broadly.  Why?  Maybe I'm just 
paranoid, Umino thought.  And where is Imadori?

	"Tomorrow morning," Karen said.

	"I'll have to attend," he said.  To run herd on Yukari.  
At least this time, she was too busy watching videos and 
dancing to get drunk off her ass.  Though Imadori had 
provided a lot of non-alcoholic drinks with odd names like 
'Mimbo Juice', which pleased Umino, who wasn't much of 
a drinker.  Mimbo juice had been pretty good, though he 
didn't like the aftertaste, which was too much like 
pineapple, in his opinion.

	Karen laughed a little nervously.  "You flatter me."

	"Besides, my girlfriend likes to get up early and 
exercise, so I'll be up anyway," Umino said.

	"She's very pretty," Karen said.

	"I agree," Umino said.  "Just don't mention bread 
around her."

	"Bread?" Karen asked.

	"Best you not know."

	The music came to an end, and now Imadori swept 
down and hauled off Yukari.  Umino said his goodbyes to 
Karen, consulted with Nyamo, and slipped off to follow 
her.

*************

	Usagi was half-drowsing on the porch swing, while 
everyone else ate and talked; Ami, Makoto, Rei, and Mai 
were playing gin rummy as well.  "Stupid boyfriend," 
Usagi mumbled.

	"Why is he stupid?" Tougo asked curiously.

	"Dumped me again," she mumbled.

	"Really?" Tougo asked.

	"You shouldn't pry," Mai told him, studying her hand 
and discarding the two of hearts.  Her draw gave her the 
useless five of clubs.  

	"Future self sent him dreams again...going to kill 
future self of him..." Usagi mumbled.  

	"Afraid of commitment?" Tougo asked.  

	"Some guys are like that," Minako said, sitting on the 
porch rail, drinking a beer.

	"You shouldn't be drinking beer at your age," her 
mother shouted from the kitchen.  "Especially not when 
you're on the porch rail!"

	"I can handle it!" Minako said, waving her beer for 
emphasis, which caused her to begin to tumble backwards 
off it.  

	Tougo lashed out and caught her by the foot; she 
ended up dumping all her beer into the bushes down at 
ground level.  "Your mother knows you well."

	"Too well," Minako mumbled.

	"You should play with us, Tougo-san," Makoto said to 
Tougo.

	"Maybe the next game," he said, watching the beach 
and nearby countryside, as he hauled Minako back up.

	"Keeping watch for danger?" Mai teased him.

	"Danger?" Rei said a little warily.

	Mrs. Aino came out with a plate of cookies.  "Don't 
tell anyone, but most of Mai's class was kidnapped to 
another world recently, though they got back okay."

	"Aino-sensei, that's supposed to be a school secret!" 
Mai said.

	"Really?" Ami said.  

	"Well," Makoto said, looking at Mai with a little more 
respect.  "Did you get any neat powers out of it?"

	"They got kidnapped without me," Mai said, sighing.  
"I..."

	"Mai got a..." Mrs. Aino began.

	Mai instinctively covered Aino-sensei's mouth.  "I lost 
my class president position," she said, sighing.  Best to be 
honest.  "Which we came to Hawaii to FORGET about."

	"Okay," Aino-sensei said amiably, as if used to being 
suppressed by children.  "Their homeroom teacher brought 
back a girlfriend from the other world, though."

	Mai's eyes widened.  "Oh, she's from the other 
world?"

	"Cool, cross-dimensional romance!" Minako said, 
hearts in her eyes.

	Usagi grumbled.

	"It's not surprising he had to get a girlfriend from 
another world," Tougo said.

	"TOUGO!" Mai said.  "One more word and you get to 
be..."

	Tougo frantically made 'SSSSTTTOOOPPP!!!!' 
gestures.

	Mai stopped.  "You get to do the special thing."

	"Special as in..."

	"Yes."  Mai moved her fingers by her ears to give 
them points, sort of.

	Minako said, "Okay, NOW I'm curious.  Is this some 
special ear trick?"

	"Yes," Tougo said.  "Mai goes absolutely crazy for it."

	"You shouldn't have to wait for a punishment to do it 
for her, then," Minako said, waggling a finger.

	"You see, she doesn't scrub behind her ears enough 
and..."  Tougo couldn't help grinning as he lied.

	Tougo was very surprised at how easily Mai could 
knock him over the railing with a paper fan.

****************

	

****************

	Akira's mother danced with Eri's father; she could see 
her daughter dancing with Nara and many of her daughter's 
friends dancing with their boyfriends as well.  Eri was 
dancing with one of her many uncles, and looked a little 
forlorn.  Akira's mother felt a touch sorry for her, but only a 
touch.  Such is the price of inherited wealth.

	On the other hand, Eri seemed less useless than many 
heiresses, so Akira's mother gave her a little more credit 
than she might have.

	She heard the dogs howl again, closer, and quickly 
computed things in her head.  Clearly, Harima and the 
Mihama gang were leading a horde of dogs through the 
forest in order to attack the party, thus disrupting Imadori's 
attempt and advancing his own chances, except, of course, 
that this would provoke Imadori to some hideous act of 
revenge.  

	On the other hand, surely Imadori would have tried to 
sabotage Harima's party.  The question was whether Eri's 
parents, who she couldn't pretend to know well, were going 
to approve or disapprove sabotage.  "I understand there is a 
contest for your daughter's hand."

	"Three people are competing, yes," he said.  "It was 
Ami's idea."

	She tried to read his voice, but he was good at hiding 
his emotions.  She had to approve of that, even if it made 
her job harder.  "No holds barred?"

	"There had better not be any death or calling in the 
mafia or the yakuza or air strikes," he said.  "That being 
said, I expect they will all try to wreck havoc on each 
other."

	She nodded.  "My daughter has chosen to aid the 
Harima boy.  Do you know much about him?  I only met 
him for the first time today."

	"He's basically a useless delinquent punk with no 
money, no family, no prospects," Mr. Sawachika said.  
"Though he does have a talent for art and a strange knack 
for getting women to fall for him.  And I will admit he 
fights extremely well.  If he's smart, he'll become a 
bodyguard, as he might well be suited for that."
	
	"He's a playboy?" Akira's mother asked, frowning.  

	"Well, so far as I can tell, he's trying to marry our 
daughter while dating the younger Tsukamoto girl and the 
Mihama heiress pretty clearly has a crush on him, as she's 
been funding him," Mr. Sawachika said.  

	Akira's mother frowned deeply at that.  "Isn't the 
younger Tsukamoto girl also after your daughter, though?"

	Mr. Sawachika dipped Akira's mother low as they 
darted around another couple, then spun them both around, 
slowly pulling her up.  She smiled at that a bit.  "My guess 
is she is trying to keep her boyfriend from winning.  Don't 
ask me how she thinks, as I can't pretend to really 
understand, though."

	This would bear some investigation.

***************

	Imadori checked his watch and frowned.  "Mother is 
supposed to be here by now."

	"She is?" Buddha asked.

	"I invited her; this is a good chance for her to meet 
with Eri-chan's parents and she'd be mad if I threw a huge 
party and didn't invite her.  But she's not answering her 
phone."  He began to pace.

	"Well, perhaps we should go see if we can spot 
anything on the news or news radio," Buddha said.

	Imadori winced.  "We'd better.  Come on."

**************

	"FASTER!" Zenigata demanded.

	"This thing doesn't go over 140, sir!" Detective 
Kobayashi said.

	"There's only one person who drives like that!" 
Inspector Zenigata said.

	Kobayashi fought the urge to cry.  "Lupin, right?"

	"What are you, stupid?  He's a thief, not a race car 
driver.  This has to be SPEED RACER!  Every cop on 
Earth DREAMS of busting that fool for speeding in his 
damn Mach 5!  WE WILL CATCH HIM!"  Zenigata 
leaned out the window with a bullhorn, shouting back to 
the other cards, "FORMATION 3!  APPREHEND SPEED 
RACER!"

	Mrs. Imadori took a corner at 150 and nearly flipped 
over.  Damn mountain roads, she thought.  I hate driving up 
here.  Stupid cops.  Stupid inadequate maps.  Sorry, honey, 
going to be late.

****************

	Tani drowsed with everyone else, half-watching some 
idol contest on TV and half-napping.  He and Yuri and Tae 
were on the couch.  Tae had an arm around him and was 
leaning back against the couch back next to him, while 
Yuri slept on the couch, her head on Tani's lap.  Kimura-
sensei was the only person fully awake, watching the idols 
with a maniacal gleam in his eye, while his wife held his 
hand and sat in a plush chair next to his, their daughter 
asleep on her lap, while she drowsed.  Mrs. Anegasaki sat 
on the other couch with her husband, typing furiously as he 
drowsed, head on her shoulder, smoking yet another 
cigarette; every so often a cold breeze blew in the nearby 
open window, jolting everyone awake.

	He was beginning to realize that after a few days of 
this, he would probably never want to leave.  He glanced 
over at Tae and she smiled at him, and he then turned to the 
TV.

	The announcer said to the girl who had just finished, 
"Do you wish to thank anyone, Sana-chan?"

	"I want to thank my big rival Aino Minako for being 
too lazy to submit her entry form in time so I don't have to 
look at her ugly face!  And I want to thank my PIMP!" the 
hyper girl on the screen shouted.

	He laughed softly, then glanced over at Kimura.  "You 
like song contests?"

	"I am mesmerized by the vision of youth," he said, jaw 
agape.

	"I see," Tani mumbled, wishing he had not asked as 
Kimura launched into a long paean to the glories of youth.

****************

	Yoshidayama contemplated how to get Keiichi away 
from Jenny so he could steal her away to come watch one 
of the videos with him.  Violence wouldn't suit the party.  
Which meant...

	AHAH!  He went and found Ishiyama.  "Can you go 
tell Matano-san there's a call for him on the yellow 
courtesy phone?  I have to go make sure that video room 3 
has the right videos in it."

	Ishiyama nodded and headed off, soon finding Keiichi 
and leading him off.  Yoshidayama now headed towards 
Jenny; he knew he would have to strike QUICKLY.

	"Yo," he said as he came up to Jenny as she stood at 
the drink bar, getting some chocolate chip cookies and a 
glass of Mountain Dew.  

	"Yo," she said.  "Having fun?"

	"Yeah," he said.  "One of the best eps is about to start 
in Video 2.  You should go see it."

	She looked at him with a look which suddenly made 
him feel rather like he'd been pinned down onto a slide and 
was about to be dissected.  Then she said, "You're not 
trying to get me off into some dark place to seduce me, are 
you?"

	"Of course not," he said.

	"So what makes it so good?"

	He racked his brain.  "It's the 70s trucker movie 
parody episode, where Hitomi has to keep her fellow cops 
from successfully chasing down Ami's truck, which is full 
of smuggled beer, which unknown to her, the aliens have 
laid monster eggs in.  Lots of lingo and cool driving and 
explosions, followed by the first appearance of Beer-a-
mon.  And you are wearing Ami's Dojibiron costume, so..."

	She laughed.  "That sounds amusingly fucked up.  
Let's go."

	They started towards the video room, only to have 
Jenny pull Kasumi out of dancing and tell her, "Can you go 
find Keiichi and tell him I'm going to be in Video Room 
2?"

	"But...dancing..."

	"Please?" Jenny begged.

	Kasumi glanced at Yoshidayama, frowned, then 
nodded.  "I'll do that."

	Dammit, Yoshidayama thought.  He'll find me and kill 
me before I have time for seduction.

	I'll just have to work FAST.

******************

	Osaka whipped out a flare gun and fired it into the air.  
"There, now someone will find us soon."

	"We don't want to be found, we want to stop being 
lost!" Kagura protested.

	"Trust the dogs, they know what they're doing," 
Harima said.  

	He hoped.

	"Can you ask Tadakichi if there's a problem?" Chiyo 
asked.

	"Is everything alright?" he asked.

	"We keep scenting tasty rabbits all over and not 
finding any," Tadakichi said.

	"That's just from the rabbit attack the other day.  Don't 
mind it," Harima said.

	The dogs changed course now, and Harima could spot 
the lodge in the distance soon afterwards.  "Alright," he 
said.  "It's nearly showtime."

***************
	
	"Yeah, fathers are the biggest idiots in the universe," 
Shinichi said to Lala; they'd gone back inside to get fresh 
drinks.  "Man, where is Kasumi," he mumbled.

	Lala looked around.  "Not dancing."

	He scratched his head.  "Well, she'll find me, when 
she's ready, I guess."

	"I love Father, but he makes me insane a lot; he's too 
irresponsible," Lala said.  

	"Father is too responsible and hard-working for his 
own good," Shinichi said.  "Like working on New Years' 
Eve."

	"I wish my father was like that," Lala said.

	"I wish mine was more laid back," Shinichi said.

	"I wish mine wouldn't engage me to Imadori," Eri said 
from behind them.  "But wishes and horses."

	Shinichi and Lala both jumped.   "Sawachika-san," 
Lala said.  "Were you there long?"

	"I just finished a dance, and now I'm going to go hide 
from that idiot a while," Eri said.

	"I think he went to one of the video rooms with some 
people," Shinichi said.

	"I know where to NOT go, then."

**************

	"He is a good boy at heart, Mother," Akira said to her 
mother.

	"He sounded pretty terrible from what Mr. Sawachika 
said," her mother told her.

	They stood near the drink bar; Akira had a mug of tea, 
while her mother had a screwdriver.  

	"Kenji-kun is a man trying to change himself into 
something new and better.  It's commendable," Akira said.  
"He certainly has flaws, but so does everyone."

	Her mother studied her carefully.  "I'm surprised you 
like him."

	"So am I.  But despite his frequent teenage boy 
idiocy," Akira said, "He is brave and loyal and he loves Eri 
very much.  He's just too much a teenage boy to be able to 
articulate it smoothly."  She sipped her tea impassively.

	"He has another girlfriend," Mrs. Takano said firmly.

	"It's a long and messy story, and she's after Eri-chan as 
well," Akira said.

	"Very messy, I take it."

	"Yes.  Trust me, I'll handle it, mother," Akira said.

	" Just be careful.  The boy is handsome, but you 
shouldn't let it cloud your thinking," her mother said.  "That 
can get you killed."  She sighed.

	"Mother, I do not have a crush on Kenji.  Kentaro is 
my boyfriend and he's all I need," Akira said firmly.

	Her mother smiled at her in the infuriating way of 
mothers.  "I see."

	"Don't 'I see' me," Akira said, taking a large swig of 
her tea.  The last thing I need is more idiocy in my head.

	"Of course not," Akira's mother said.  "Well, I have 
contacts to make and the rich to fleece, so..."

	"Mother, please don't rob this party, even if it's 
Imadori's," Akira said firmly.

	Mrs. Takano laughed.  "Just teasing you, dear."  She 
ruffled Akira's hair and headed off, leaving Akira feeling 
flustered.  Mother always gets under my skin, she thought.  
And now she's likely to get into trouble...

**************

	"I'm sure that if there ARE monsters, they're too busy 
celebrating New Years to bother us," Aino-sensei said.

	"So long as no one picked up any cursed tiki idols, 
anyway," Tougo said, then laughed.  No one else got it.

	"I'm pretty sure this one isn't cursed," Minako said, 
opening her purse and pulling out a small wooden tiki idol.  
"They'd lose their license if they sold cursed things, right?"

	Tougo backed away from it, just in case.

	"Looks harmless to me," Usagi said, picking it up and 
juggling it.

	Mai could feel the hairs on her arms standing up.  Or 
trying; she kept her arms shaved, so there wasn't much to 
stand up.  But it was TRYING.  She avoided touching the 
idol as well.

	Rei studied it.  "Minako."

	"Yes?"

	"Turn it over."

	Minako flipped it over; the bottom had a warning 
sticker 'Warning:  This Tiki Idol was dug out of an ancient 
Hawaiian burial ground and may attract evil spirits.  Do not 
get idol wet after midnight.'  "..."

	"The problem with warnings like that is that it's 
always after SOME midnight," Tougo said.

	"Surely the steady gunfire in the streets will scare 
them off, right?" Minako asked, laughing nervously.

	"That's people setting off fireworks," Tougo said.  
"Not a riot."  Pause.  "I think."

	"Well, if that thing had REAL evil spirits in it, we'd 
have already been attacked by them, right?" Makoto asked.  

	"Maybe they want to wait until after midnight here, 
for the Witching Hour," Ami speculated.

	"Someone probably just put that on as a gag," Mai 
said, rubbing her arms.

	"Are you cold?" Ami asked.  "The night air is getting 
cool."

	"No, just kind of goose-pimp..."  Mai glanced off 
across the beach.  "Is there some sort of local custom of 
people dressing up like Tiki idols and rising out of the sea 
to celebrate New Years Eve?"

	"No, not at all," Aino-sensei said, staring at the things.  
"Oh dear."

	Four ten foot tall things which resembled giant-sized 
Tiki Idols were rising up out of the water and approaching 
the shore, striding towards the beach house.

	The two cats which had been sleeping under the porch 
now woke up and sprang up onto the railing.  Mai's eyes 
widened as she saw one of them was the talking black cat.

	Usagi yawned, then looked at the things.  "Well, I 
could use something to take out my frustration on."

	Tougo looked curiously at Usagi.  "You propose to 
fight ancient angry Tiki gods?"

	"I...uh...ahaha," Usagi laughed.  How are we going to 
change without Minako's mother and our guests finding 
out?, she asked herself, and got no answer.

	"Run!" Makoto said, grabbing Tougo and dragging 
him into the house.  

	"Hey, my boyfriend!" Mai shouted.  "Bring him 
back!"

	The Tiki Gods were drawing closer, closer...

	The black cat chose this moment to stumble into the 
lighter fluid.  Massive amounts poured onto the still hot 
coals, and smoke billowed over EVERYTHING. 

	Then the cat whispered to Mai, "Transform and hold it 
while I get help."

	Mai felt her brain whirl.  Trans...oh.  She had her 
Pretty Princess costume with her...  She licked her lips 
nervously and hoped the cat knew what it was doing.  But 
who else here had any chance of slowing down the Tiki 
Gods long enough for the cops or the Sailor Senshi or 
someone else to show up?

	It was only her.  She grabbed her handbag and 
extracted several things, then swiftly changed into the 
costume with the expertise at such things she had gained 
under Tougo's mentoring.  "Charm up, my Mai Dream," 
she whispered to herself, amused and terrified at the same 
time.  She snapped her staff into place, then grabbed the 
bottle of mayonnaise.  

	"Pretty Princess Shitatsuka Dansu is here to save the 
day!" Pretty Princess Mai shouted as she ran out of the 
smoke at blazing speed towards the Tiki Gods (or whatever 
they were.)  She waved her staff over her head, watching it 
glow; she guessed Yuuki and Sagano must have put a 
motion sensor in it to make it shine lights when waved.  
"TASTE MY MAYONNAISE OF DESTRUCTION!"  

	As the four Tiki Gods turned to face her in all their 
sodden, wooden glory, she hurled the bottle at the face of 
one of them.  It exploded like a hand grenade, throwing 
flaming mayonnaise all over her target and some of it onto 
two of the others, who ponderously stopped, dropped and 
rolled, howling in rage.  

	The last one charged at her, hands shrouded in 
darkness; she could feel the chill as it drew closer.  She 
jumped out of the way of the attack, and to her surprise 
easily soared over the creature, though it was ten feet tall.

	Her eyes widened as she landed, kicking up sand, then 
she dropped into a crouch as it turned and charged at her.  
The one she'd set on fire had fled into the ocean water, 
while the other two were getting up, having doused their 
flames.  

	She could hear everyone running around behind her on 
the deck, yelling about fire.  Usagi had somehow stumbled 
over the railing and landed headfirst in the sand like an 
ostrich; the white cat was clumsily trying to help her get 
loose, while the black cat had now dragged a bag full of 
condiments out onto the beach and was trying to bring it to 
Mai.

	But the least hurt Tiki was between her and the cat.  
Did she dare to jump over it?  She wasn't sure if she had 
really made such a super leap.  Or...yes, this would be 
safer...sort of.

	She charged at the Tiki God, staff held high over her 
head like a charging samurai warrior.  "I won't let you have 
them!" she shouted.

	As it drew close, she suddenly dropped low and turned 
her staff into a ram, shoving it into the thing's groin.  There 
was a pulse of light from the end of the staff and a great cry 
of pain and it fell down.  She leaped over it easily now and 
landed by the bag of condiments.  She grabbed a squeeze 
bottle of ketchup in one hand and mustard in the other, 
tucking her staff into her belt.

	The one Tiki God rolled around clutching his groin, 
while now two more charged at Pretty Princess Mai.  "Are 
you ready to dance with me?" Pretty Princess Mai shouted.  
She was getting into this now.  Even if she didn't 
understand it.

	The Tiki Gods howled something Mai couldn't 
understand and moved to flank her, charging.  Pretty 
Princess Mai leaped straight up, flipping in the air and 
hosing them both down with ketchup and mustard.  They 
crashed into each other, smearing the stuff all over 
themselves and caking it with sand as they fell.  

	Pretty Princess Mai dropped the bottles, whipped out 
her staff and shouted, "CONDIMENTS IGNITE!"  She 
flipped back to the bag as her two foes burst into flames 
and ran off into the ocean to try and douse themselves, 
passing out and washing out to sea with the first one.

	The last one got up, even as Pretty Princess Mai hefted 
the tobasco sauce.  "Get back!  I've got Tobasco and I'm 
NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

	It gave a great cry of rage and charged at her and she 
hit it right in the groin with the bottle.  
"CONDIMENTS...IGNITE!"

	FWAKOOM!

	She expected people in Japan could hear the thing 
scream as it was hurled on fire into the water.

	She turned and saw the smoke was clearing on the 
porch.  Minako was trying to put out the fire with water; 
Mrs. Aino had vanished into the house or something; Rei 
was trying to get Usagi's head out of the sand with the 
white cat's help, and Ami had vanished, along with Tougo 
and Makoto.

	But Sailor Mercury was on the roof, observing the 
fight through a crystal visor and typing into her laptop.  
"Nice job there," she said.

	Pretty Princess Mai wondered if she'd just been sitting 
there the whole time watching.  

	Then she heard a fwakoom at sea and saw a huge 
waterspout rise up and swallow the drifting Tiki Gods.  
They did not surface again.

	Note to self, don't piss off Mercury, Mai thought.  

	"Hello there!" Pretty Princess Mai said in English, 
hoping she didn't sound TOO Japanese.  After all, there 
weren't too many other Japanese people around here and 
secret identities, even if just invented, had to be preserved.  
"I'm afraid I must be going!  Thanks for the loan of the 
condiments!"

	"No, wait!" Mercury said as Pretty Princess Mai took 
off at high speed.  She slipped around the house, then 
quickly changed back into her regular clothing, taking her 
staff apart and stashing it in the bag.  This would be so 
much easier if I had a henshin item, Mai thought.  

	She was about to climb in a back window so she could 
pretend she'd run and hid inside when the black cat walked 
up to her.  "You have to do it all manually?" the cat asked.

	"I didn't get a henshin item with this, no," Mai said.  
"Do they know you can talk?"

	"I don't talk in public," the cat said.  "My name is 
Luna."

	"You have the same..."

	"I know," Luna said, pawing her crescent moon.  
"Here, let me give you something."  She did a backflip and 
a coral compact which resembled a red clam appeared.  
"Pose in the mirror wearing your costume, tell it 'store' and 
it'll store the costume, and then you can use the compact to 
henshin yourself."

	"Oooh," she said.  This could have uses.  "This is very 
kind of you."

	"You just saved my...friends from being hurt," Luna 
said.  "We're even."

	"Can you help me cover my cover story?"

	"Sure.  You can pretend you ran after me to keep me 
from running into danger, and now you're bringing me 
back."  Luna jumped into Mai's arms.

	Mai wondered again how she managed to do all that 
stuff.  But there was no way to get an answer, so she'd just 
take it as a break of luck, for now, anyway, and call Sagano 
later.

****************

	Nara's phone rang.  "Hello?"   He'd been dancing, but 
he'd stopped to get a drink.

	Nara's mother said, "Hello, dear.  We made it to our 
hotel."

	"Hotel?" he asked in confusion.

	"I think we're a few miles away from you; we'll be at 
the party in the morning without any trouble," she said.  
"It's just your father and I, but I think Juri and Alphonse 
may be following us."

	So fucked, Nara thought.  "Just them?"

	"Maybe just them."

	"I...uh..."  How had they even gotten news of the 
parties?  "You know it's a gangster theme, right?"

	"Yes," Nara's mother said.  "We're so looking 
forwards to meeting your friend Sawachika's parents."  
Nara knew that tone of voice.  It was the sign that 
devastation would soon fall upon all the lands of Middle-
Earth.  

	And Japan too.

	"Of course you are," Nara mumbled.  "I'll see you in 
the morning, Mother."
	
	"We even have costumes.  We're going to be two of 
the infamous bandits, the Mamas and the Papas," Nara's 
mother said.

	Bandits?  He had the vague idea they were a band.  
"That's nice."

	"Are you being non-committal because you're in bed 
with Akira-chan and her busty friend, dear?" Nara's mother 
asked.

	"No, I'm at a New Years' Eve party with Akira-san," 
Nara said.  "Fully clothed."

	"Oh," his mother sounded disappointed.  "I know 
Akira-san has a thing for that girl's boyfriend and..."

	"SAY WHAT?" Nara said.  How the hell did she 
know that?

	"Oooh, I bluffed you into admitting it," his mother 
said.

	"Oops, I just dropped my phone in the punch bowl!" 
Nara said, then shut it off.  This was bad.  This could be 
VERY bad.  

****************

	Imadori cocked his head.  Why do I have this bad 
feeling, he asked himself.

	"So why is the yellow ranger fighting this monkey?" 
Yukari whispered into his ears.

	"He stole her car keys, being jealous he hasn't been on 
TV since the 1970s," Imadori said.

	Buddha said, "Technically, BJ and the Bear lasted into 
the early eighties."

	"And why is the monkey winning?" Yukari asked.

	Imadori said, "He's had a monster seed put in him."

	By now, his memory of the moment of doom feeling 
had quietly faded away.

****************

	Tarakawa could feel the hairs on his arm standing up.  
He cocked his head, but he couldn't hear anything beyond 
the normal party noises.  Just the dogs, but they weren't 
close enough to be a problem.  Not yet, anyway.  

	So why...

	He paused and turned in a circle, looking carefully.

	As he did so, he spotted a woman he knew at the drink 
bar, looking at him.  What's she doing here, he wondered.  
He hadn't seen her in several years.  

	She made a 'come hither' gesture, so he did, knowing 
it was unwise to ignore her.

	"Miss Spider," he said, "How are you today?"

	She looked more weathered than he remembered; 
given she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish the 
last he'd known her, he wasn't surprised.  He'd drunk too 
much for much of his own life; he knew the signs.  Even 
after you got off it, the damage remained.  

	"I am fine," she said.  "How is your business coming 
along?"

	"Very well, thanks to you and the man you 
recommended to me, though he never has had your skills."

	"Few do," she said, smiling.  "But I was only there 
briefly; you give me too much credit."

	"There are critical times which must be seized," he 
said.  "You came along at one.  I trust the money has 
enabled you to live well?"

	"I live more modestly than I once did," she said, 
shaking her hair a little; her close-cropped brown hair 
shook gently.  There was something...

	He blinked.  Takano Akira was her DAUGHTER.  No 
wonder she was...well, well.  The resemblance was clear to 
him now that he had her here to remind him what she 
looked like.

	But he wasn't supposed to know that, he suspected.  
So he would say nothing for now.  Yes, he would definitely 
have to recruit the daughter...maybe both daughters.

	"Modesty is wise, though I fear I've never been very 
wise."

	They both laughed, almost in unison; he wondered if 
she was imitating him again.  That had always amused her.

	"So are you here for business or pleasure?" he asked.

	"Pleasure," she said.  "Though it's a rather unusual 
party."

	"It's what happens when teenage boys are given too 
much money and the influence of a major family behind 
them," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "Though it's remarkably well 
organized for what it is."

	She nodded.  "And the same for you?"

	"There's always some business in my pleasure," he 
told her.  "I goof off too easily if I don't make myself work.  
But they're using some of my machines, so I had to come."

	"Perhaps I shall try my luck," she said.

	"May I accompany you?" he asked.  "I never did get to 
see you play."

	She finished off her drink.  "Will I be taking you to the 
bank or the host-boy?"

	"The latter," he said.

	"Then come along.  We can revel in the misery of 
others together," she said.

	He laughed and took her arm.  "Lead on, fair lady."

	And they headed off to the Pachinko-room.

****************

	Yoshidayama grumbled.  First Keiichi showed up, 
then Buddha put him back to work.  How am I to unleash 
my unstoppable mack if I have to be a flunky?

	At least Harima isn't here, he thought.  I don't have to 
be HIS flunky.

****************

	Nara found Akira.  "My parents are coming," he said.

	Akira froze in place.  "They...coming..."

	"Somehow, they know about you...and Hanai...," Nara 
mumbled.

	"..."

	"I don't even know how they figured it out, unless 
they've been spying on us or something, but they didn't 
even know I was at a party and..."  Nara was beginning to 
spazz.

	Akira felt briefly the urge to completely unravel.  
"There's really only one choice."

	"Suicide?" Nara asked nervously.

	"Gather everyone we need to be vaguely sane and 
useful in the morning and get them out before your parents 
get here.  How soon are they coming?"

	"They may or may not come tonight, but they're 
coming in the morning," Nara said.  

	Akira stood silently a few seconds.  "Well, we will 
improvise.  I haven't lost yet.  Let's go find everyone."

	They set out.

****************

	Miss Spider was collecting the four model robots she'd 
won and was about to go for a fifth when the sound of the 
dogs grew louder.

	Miss Spider frowned.  "I fear there will be trouble."

	"Indeed?" he asked.  "Not of your making, I hope."  
Though dogs weren't her style.  He couldn't quite make out 
why they were so agitated, but it made him nervous.

	"Not at all," she said.

	"Well, I have to attend all three parties," he began.

	" 'Have to'," she said, smiling her crooked smile.

	"Well, I'm going to.  Shall we get some drinks, retreat 
to a safe point and watch?" he asked.

	She studied him, then nodded.  "My thoughts exactly.  
You may lead this time, Kenichi-san."

	He took her arm again, and they moved out.

****************

	"You don't smell the sausage because it's inside," 
Harima patiently explained to the dogs again.  "Just a little 
bit further, and you'll have all the sausage you can eat."

	Chiyo listened carefully, trying to listen to the replies 
of the dogs.  At times, she could almost make out their 
words.  But right now, she felt more in tune with Indians 
than dogs.  She wanted to hunt something.

	The dogs got in motion again, and Harima listened to 
the wind.  It sounded like they were watching a lot of loud 
television.  Something about fighting.  He could approve of 
that.  But how did it connect to sausage?

	"Hmm," Osaka said.  "We forgot something 
important."

	Harima looked around.  "I see dogs, I see us...our 
sled...what's missing?"

	"War paint.  Everyone will recognize you, and then 
the British will be able to arrest you, because even Samuel 
Adams won't be able to lie his way around so many 
witnesses when he claims you were hammered on beer in 
his basement the whole evening," Osaka said.

	"..." Kagura said.  

	Harima studied the warpaint.  He'd look like a 
barbarian.  Well, that could be cool.  And she did make 
sense; the last thing he needed was retaliation from Britain, 
and Eri's family was half-British.

	"Alright, disguise me."

	Osaka grinned evilly.  When she was done, his own 
mother wouldn't recognize him.

	Oh yeah.

*************

	Mai said, "Next time, don't use a Tiki God attack as an 
excuse to kidnap my boyfriend!"  She tried to stand up to 
Makoto, but it didn't work so well when Makoto loomed 
over her so much.

	"Now, honey, she was just trying to get us to safety," 
Tougo said, taking Mai's hand.

	"And you could have resis..."  Mai was cut off by 
Tougo kissing her.  

 	Most assembled said, "Ooooh," in response, while 
Makoto frowned and the cats drowsed.  Usagi also looked a 
little frustrated.

	Mai looked utterly kerfluffled.  

	Aino-sensei said, "See, isn't love in the open better 
than hiding it?"

	"Hiding it?" Minako asked.

	"Oh, they were class presidents of rival classes, having 
a secret, forbidden love.  It was like Romeo and Juliet," 
Mrs. Aino said, half-swooning from the romance of it all.

	"But we skipped the poison part," Tougo said.

	"Poison is over-rated," Mrs. Aino said.  "Minako's 
been trying to poison me for years."

	"My cooking is NOT poisonous!" Minako said, 
pouting.

	"It's almost time to count-down to midnight," Usagi 
said.  "Come on, let's do it!"

	They rushed to the porch to get ready; people were 
already shooting off fireworks in the sky.  

	But we must now cut backwards in time to much 
earlier when parties were in progress in Japan...

**************
	
	"I am NOT dressing up as...whatever exactly it is," Eri 
said to her parents, arms folded across her chest.

	"Now, dear, we're going to let you see the Harima boy 
tomorrow, so you have to be good tonight," Eri's mother 
said.  "You can do this much for your fiancee."

	Eri frowned.  "But it's a stupid costume."

	"I'm wearing something twenty times sillier, dear," her 
mother said.

	"Actually, it's closer than that; they're both evil queen 
costumes that show off your body and make your chest 
look bigger," her father said.  "Wherever Harima is hiding 
in this party, I bet he couldn't take his eyes off you in an 
outfit like that."

	Eri screwed her eyes up for a moment, then said 
tightly, "You do this sort of thing to your clients too, I bet."

	"Dear, we hold back because we love you.  If you 
were one of our customers, we'd have had you in the 
uniform from the start of the party and made you think it 
was your own idea," her mother said.

	Eri wished her mother wasn't right.  "Fine, I'll go 
change."  She took the costume and went.

	Henry looked over at Ami.  "So where is the Harima 
boy hiding?  I haven't seen him."

	"Even Nakamura can't find him," Ami said.  "I'm sure 
he must have come, so his disguise skills have clearly 
improved."

	"Well, we'll find him eventually.  He's not causing any 
trouble, so we'll just have to wait for him to show himself," 
Henry said.

	"I'm going to go to one of the video rooms; Kyousuke-
kun insists it's key I see this episode that's coming on soon.  
I'm curious why," she said.

	Henry looked around.  "So how are you rating his 
party so far?"

	"If this was a science-fiction convention instead of a 
party for our wealthy friends, relatives, and clients, I'd rate 
him very highly.  It's an impressive feat of work.  But in 
terms of a party for the actual audience, it's not going so 
well," Ami said, shaking her head.  "Though I don't know if 
the other two will do any better."

	Henry looked off across the crowd.  "True.  Though I 
think ABBA will be a big hit, given it will likely send most 
of the guests into a frenzy of nostalgia."

	Ami laughed.  "That's true.  Well, we'll see.  The 
student band is pretty good, too.  Better than this 
electronica or whatever it's called."  She kissed her 
husband's cheek.  "See you soon."

	And she headed out, while he went looking for a 
dancing partner and tried to see if there was anyone he 
hadn't said hello to yet.

*****************

	"I don't get it.  Why do you want to leave?" Mikoto 
asked.  "It's not that late."

	"First off, we all need to be up and back here by 4 AM 
in order to get ready for Kenji's party," Akira said.

	"And secondly, my parents are coming," Nara said.

	"Are they out to kill you for some reason?" Hanai 
asked.

	"Have you ever met Nara's parents?" Akira asked.

	"No, not really," Hanai said.

	"Your dad's a stockbroker, right?  Didn't he come to 
career day last year?" Mikoto asked Nara.

	"Oh, he behaves at school," Nara said.  "But...they..."  
He struggled to figure out a neutral way to say things 
without badmouthing his own parents.  

	"There will almost certainly be a riot of some kind," 
Akira said.  "Best we not be implicated in it."

	"Well, let's try and find everyone, or we'll have to 
walk and I really don't want to do that," Mikoto said.  "Not 
in winter at night."

	Akira frowned.  "Hmm, good point."

	"Also, wouldn't it make more sense to see if we can 
crash here if we have to be back by 4 AM?" Mikoto said.

	"You have no true understanding of what is coming," 
Akira said urgently.  "For our own good, we must get to a 
safe distance."

	Hanai blinked.  "Is it really that dangerous?"

	"Maybe," Nara said.  "They might not do anything at 
all.  But..."

	"Okay, okay, let's try and find everyone," Hanai said.

	Akira prayed it wasn't too late.

*************

	Lala idly contemplated the assembled menfolk from 
her school bustling about, running the party.  Some of them 
were pretty good looking.  Yet it seemed the strongest men 
in her grade were taken...Harima...Hanai...Tougo...Harry...  
Though perhaps some of the other classes had strong men 
as well.  

	The main body of guests were too young for her, and 
the college students all had girlfriends.  Lala was not one to 
break up a real relationship.  (Her competition with Mikoto 
for Hanai was another question, but they had 
SUPPOSEDLY not been dating...)  Though Keiichi and 
Jenny were having some problems, but Keiichi was too 
much of a wimp for her.  A real man would have killed 
Yoshidayama by now.

	Bored, she decided to go and see a video.  It was 
probably stupid, but it beat drinking too much or drowning 
in self-pity.

	Heading into one room, where a bunch of eighteen 
wheelers were attacking a giant mecha (or maybe it was 
vice-versa), she saw Imadori leaning over, kissing Yukari's 
ear.  Or maybe just whispering into it.  But it was clear he 
was once again macking on a teacher.  

	There was no choice but to kill him.  He couldn't be 
allowed to be dating some other woman when he was 
engaged to someone else, especially not when Lala had no 
one to go out with herself.  

	She charged towards him, only to suddenly find an 
obstacle in her way, causing her to stop short.  It was 
Buddha, who held up a hand.  "He has done nothing to you; 
I will not allow this."

	"You think you can stop me?" she said in disbelief to 
him.

	Buddha responded by moving into a sumo stance, 
which looked rather odd from someone wearing a Futile 
Earth Self-Defense Force uniform.  "You shall not pass."

	"Stop me!" Lala said, charging forwards.  A hand 
slapped her chest and she fell to the ground.  

	She had a hard time breathing as she flipped back to 
her feet.  "I won't underestimate you this time," she said.

	Buddha paused in blowing on his hand, which looked 
a little red.  "Neither will I."

	She went for his arm this time and tried to throw him, 
but it was like he was glued to the ground, like trying to lift 
the entire school.  His other hand came around and slapped 
her to the ground again.

	He looked a little flushed, and she concluded whatever 
he was doing, he probably couldn't keep it up for a long 
time.  Or maybe he was just overheating from being too fat.  

	She tried jumping over him, but somehow his hand 
caught her foot and slammed her to the ground.  He turned 
and faced off with her again in that weird pose like he was 
riding a really gigantic horse.

	She backed up and charged again, spinning to aim as 
potent a kick as she could manage at his chest.  He stood 
there and took it, not moving at all, though he looked a 
little pained.  

	Lala nodded curtly, then began unleashing everything 
she had on him, blow after blow.  He knocked a few aside, 
but he lacked speed.  Every blow made him redder in the 
face, but he took the blows stolidly, in silence.

	She could see Imadori wasn't even paying attention; 
he was watching his stupid mecha-video and chatting up 
his new girlfriend and it made her blood boil.  She was 
trying to kill him and his friend was getting pounded to 
pieces and he DIDN'T EVEN CARE.

	"Why are you defending this idiot?" she shouted at 
Buddha.  "What could be worth so much pain?"

	"We have sworn an oath of brotherhood," Buddha 
said.  "We will die for each other, if need be."

	"He's busy seducing a teacher, leaving you to get 
killed!" she said, trying to sweep one of Buddha's legs, but 
it was like trying to fell a tree with a toothpick.

	"This is his party, his day to shine in all his glory, to 
show everyone what he loves.  Such days come but rarely, 
and I will willingly fight and fall in order to protect his 
shining moment of joy," Buddha said.  He made a grab for 
Lala's leg when she tried another kick, and this time got it, 
flipping her around to slam her into the ground.

	He just wouldn't give up, she thought.  But neither will 
I.  Only one of us is going to walk away from this.  And it's 
going to be me, she thought.

****************

	"But won't his parents just come looking for you if 
you're not here?" Miki asked Akira.  "And where is 
Harima-san, anyway?"

	Akira listened to the howling of the dogs, and 
wondered if he would get here before or after Nara's 
parents.  "That would be an improvement.  I just fear the 
results of them at the party.  We need this building intact."

	"I really think you're being over-fearful," Masahiro 
said.  "And now I'm curious to see what will happen."

	This is how Cassandra felt, Akira thought.  "But..."

	"C'mon, take a chance, live a little," Miki said.

	"You live longer by not taking chances," Akira said.

	"But is it worth living like that?  Didn't you take a 
chance when you started dating Nara-san?" Miki asked.

	Nara listened quietly, wondering what Akira would 
say.

	"That's different," Akira said.  "Kentaro-san is very 
reliable."

	"And do you think his parents will take it well if you 
run away from them when they're expecting you?" Miki 
asked.

	"They'll take it badly," Nara said.

	Akira frowned.  Less of a bimbo-woman than I 
thought, she thought.  Which made this harder.  

	"I'd like to meet Nara's parents myself," Hanai said.

	"Me too," Mikoto said.  "C'mon, Akira-chan, I'm sure 
it will be just fine."

	She sighed.  "Fine.  But I'm not taking responsibility 
for whatever may ensue."

	"Let's..." Miki began then cocked her head.  "Is it just 
me, or do I hear a fight going on?"

	Hanai cocked his head, then frowned.  "It sounds like 
Lala-san, but who is she fighting?"

	Mikoto elbowed him gently, but he failed to 
understand.

	"Well, if she tears up Imadori's party, it's not..." Akira 
began, but Mikoto and Hanai were already heading for the 
violence.  She sighed and followed after.

****************

	Ishiyama stared at the two gorgeous people coming 
out of the darkness.  He'd expected no more guests at this 
hour, but Imadori had sent him to man the door, anyway.  
"Ma'am, sir, welcome to the New Years' Eve party."  He 
bowed.

	The man smiled at him.  "I am Nara Goro and this is 
my lovely wife, Kimiko."  

	Ishiyama did his best to not stare at the woman's well-
exposed cleavage, but it was just so tempting.  He laughed 
nervously.  "Welcome to the party.  So you're Nara's 
parents?"

	"Yes, he's my darling little boy.  Do you know where 
he is?" Kimiko asked, smiling at Ishiyama, who felt his 
body temperature rising.  It was hard to think straight.

	"If they're not shagging like weasels somewhere, he 
and Akira are probably dancing."  He paused and put a 
hand over his mouth.  "I mean, I'm sure they don't actually 
have..."  Sorry, Nara-san, he thought.  Parents never take 
that well.

	"Shagging...just the two of them?" Kimiko asked.

	"..."  Ishiyama just had no idea it was humanly 
possible for a parent to ask that so lightly.  His own parents 
would be killing the door guard if they thought he was 
shagging someone.  Which he wished Sagano and Mai 
weren't taken, as he'd happily shag either of them, but that 
was really off topic when the problem was to not be killed.

	"Are you alright?" Goro asked, looking worried.  "You 
seem to be choking on something.  Should I give you the 
Heimlich?"

	"No...I'm...fine.  Unless they've joined Hanai's 
foursome, they're just...shagging...each other...," Ishiyama 
managed to say, holding the doorframe for support.

	"Hmm.  Hanai...the class representative, right?"

	"Yes," Ishiyama said.

	Kimiko smiled deeply at Ishiyama, who felt like his 
clothing was going to burst into flames.  "I'll have to meet 
this fellow, see if he can give my son some pointers," she 
purred.

	It was too much for Ishiyama, who now fainted.

	"Oh dear," Goro said.  "I think you overdid the charm 
a little."

	"Nice to see I still have it," Kimiko said, then picked 
up Ishiyama over one shoulder.  "Can you get the door, 
dear?  We should take him to their infirmary."

	"Of course, my love," he said, opening the door.  
"Follow me."

****************

	Buddha was hardly moving, except when she tried to 
get around him to get at Imadori.  Lala could hardly believe 
he was still standing.  Or that Imadori was just sitting there, 
making her beat up this poor hapless would-be sumo, 
instead of fighting on his own behalf.  Coward.  Too busy 
hitting on a teacher to defend his own friend.  

	"Give up, you cannot pass me," Buddha said, though 
he was clearly having trouble breathing.

	Lala paused a moment, feeling guilty.  Buddha had 
never done anything to cause her any trouble that she knew 
of; she wanted to crush Imadori, not him.  This wasn't a 
fight at this point, it was her beating up a man who just 
stood there and took it.  He tried to fight, but he hadn't been 
very fast at the start, and he could hardly hope to match her 
now.

	But he wouldn't give up.  He was going to fight to the 
point of unconsciousness.  His bravery was admirable, even 
if his cause was horrible.  "Give up," she said.  "Before I 
have to break you."

	"You...shall not...pass...," Buddha wheezed out.  

	If only the ceiling were higher, she thought, I could 
leap over him.  But it was too low and she feared ending up 
trashing part of the house before the next two parties.  But 
she was regretting having to hurt Buddha more.  

	"Imadori, you bastard, hiding behind him!!!  How can 
you do this to your own friend???" Lala shouted.

	"Buddha is free to let you through any time he wants.  
But he wants to do this, and I won't step on his toes by 
denying him the right to do what he wants," Imadori said.  
"Do you want me to intervene, Buddha?"

	"No, I am fine," Buddha said, breathing harder than 
Darth Vader.  He certainly didn't sound fine.

	"You're just jealous because there's no one who likes 
you enough to do that for you," Yukari said to Lala.  "You 
don't have any real friends and you're jealous of anyone 
who does have true friends they can count on."  Her voice 
was full of venom.  "And you're so hateful and evil, you 
don't deserve any friends."

	Lala remembered her class making her drink tobasco 
sauce for betraying them with Hanai, Hanai leaving her for 
that damn Mikoto, the other-world Hanai who only wanted 
her because he couldn't have his Lala...  Was there anyone 
who really cared about her?  Who would fight for her as 
Buddha fought for Imadori?  Who would fight for her to 
the last ditch and beyond?

	She'd spent her whole life beating up enemies and 
rivals, not making friendships.  There was no one who 
showed her that kind of loyalty, who would lay themselves 
down to defend her if need be.  

	Hanai...she had hoped...her heart ached as she thought 
about him.  And Ichijou...she was a friend, but was she that 
close a friend?  Would she do that for me, Lala wondered.  
But she'd always...she had wanted...

	She was so lost in her own thoughts that it took 
Buddha making a desperate attempt to pin her while she 
was distracted to get her to actually come back to the fight.  
She twisted and threw him to the floor as hard as she could, 
trying to finish things.

	She was about to jump over him at Imadori when he 
sat up, then grabbed a chair to pull himself up.  She got 
over him, pinning him to the ground by his shoulders and 
beginning to count.  "Just give up already!" she said.  "You 
can't win."

	"It's not about the winning, it's about doing the right 
thing," Buddha managed to say.  "I will not give up, 
whatever you do."

	"You can't win!  How can he possibly be worth this?"  
Her voice had become very shrill.

	"He is my friend and this is my present to him on his 
shining day," Buddha said.

	His shining day...Imadori?  Shining?  How could he 
inspire such devotion when he was such a total chump?  

	When she couldn't.  

	Even if she beat him up, Imadori had already won the 
battle that really mattered.  

	She fought back the urge to cry, and let go of Buddha, 
standing up, just as Akira, Nara, Hanai, and Mikoto walked 
in.  "Fine.  In respect of your devotion, I will..."  Letting 
someone else ground her gears.  "Resume this tomorrow, 
when it is not his special day."

	She bowed to Buddha, lifted him wobbily to his feet, 
then turned to storm off.

	Seeing Mikoto there, she glared at Mikoto, trying to 
kill her by pure force of will, then tried to silently stomp 
past them.

	"Did you just beat up Buddha?" Hanai asked in 
disbelief.

	Lala's lips moved soundlessly.

	Akira cocked her head slightly.  Nara started to speak, 
then decided not to draw her attention.

	"What?" Mikoto asked, looking suspiciously at Lala.

	"I can't read lips, I'm afraid," Hanai told her.  "But it 
does..."

	"I lost," she said softly, then ran.

	Hanai blinked.  She looked to be in a whole lot better 
shape than Buddha, yet, she was running away and he 
wasn't.  Curiouser and curiouser...

***************

	Nara Goro and his wife had dropped off Ishiyama at 
the infirmary, then split up to look for their son or the 
Sawachika parents.  Goro was starting to head for the video 
rooms on the advice of one boy when he was nearly run 
over by a raven-haired, dusky-skinned beauty.  If you have 
to be run over, that's the way to go.

	As it was, they collided and she fell down on top of 
him.  "Are you alright, fair maiden?" he asked urgently.

	"I'm fine," she said, not bothering to move, just lying 
there on top of him.  "Everything will be as awful on the 
floor as standing up," she said morosely.

	He helped her up anyway, gracefully avoiding any 
inappropriate contact, then taking her hands.  "Has some 
foul cad broken your heart?" he asked, concerned.

	"That stupid bitch Mikoto stole my boyfriend and I 
just..."  She was clearly fighting the urge to cry.  

	"Now, now," he said soothingly, offering her a 
handkerchief.  "What sort of foolish man would reject a 
woman as beautiful as yourself?"

	Lala felt her heart skip a beat.  She shouldn't...but it 
was so comforting to be told that.  It was a weakness; 
weakness should be crushed.  But she had no strength for 
crushing.  "That evil Mikoto woman pulled the wool over 
his eyes!  She turned him against me!"

	"Why don't we find a chair and you can tell me all 
about it?  A burden shared is lessened," he said smoothly, 
taking her off towards the seating area of the ballroom.

	She let herself be led along; she desperately needed a 
sympathetic ear.  Someone who would listen and respect 
her.  

	It didn't hurt that he was handsome too.  But she 
wasn't thinking in those terms, even if he was elegant and 
dashing and respectable.

	Really.

************
	
	Henry had just finished another round of dancing with 
his wife's relatives when a beautiful woman approached 
him in a slinky evening dress.  He had no idea who she 
was, which surprised him, as she looked quite well off, but 
usually, it was the same people at most of their parties.

	"Excuse me, sir, are you Henry Sawachika?" she 
asked in English.

	He blinked then wondered if she was from England or 
just faked it well.  "Yes, ma'am.  You have the better of 
me."

	"I am Nara Kimiko.  My son is one of your daughter's 
classmates," she said.

	He looked her up and down and wondered what her 
husband looked like, as Nara certainly didn't get his looks 
from her.  "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said.

	"Would you like to dance?" she asked.  

	"Sure," he replied, and they began to dance together.  
As they waltzed, he tried to figure out if she was flirting 
with him or if he was just imagining things.  She certainly 
seemed interested in looking at him, and she had that 
hungry look.

	But he was content with his marriage, even if she was 
rather good looking.  And wasn't she married?  

	"Your son seems like a very nice boy," Henry said to 
her.

	"Probably too nice for his own good.  You know how 
it is in the world we walk in; you need a little wolf in you 
to fend off the predators, and I fear he somehow didn't get 
any from either of us."  It was strange; her face changed 
completely while she spoke, looking more a worried 
mother than a she-wolf on the hunt, and then her face 
changed back, and he wondered which was fake and which 
real.  

	"Children are difficult to handle, especially when 
business draws you away," Henry said, navigating them 
around Harry and Karen, then dodging between two 
couples.

	She smiled at him appreciatively.  "Very smooth," she 
said softly, then shifted gears again.  "I know the feeling.  
I'm so busy, I rarely have time to spend on my boy.  But I 
heard he would be helping with these parties, and I thought 
I should come and show I appreciate how hard he works," 
she said.

	He spun her out, then pulled her back in as they 
dodged between two more couples.  "Can you jitterbug?"

	"Of course," she said, and now they picked up the 
pace, spinning around each other; she gave a delighted little 
cry each time he lifted her into the air.

	"Well, the main party he's associated with is tomorrow 
morning," Henry said.  

	Distantly, there was more barking of dogs.  Henry 
shook his head.  "They've been frenzied all evening."

	"Oh, dogs won't hurt us in here," Kimiko said.  "I'm 
sure nothing will go wrong.  Let's dance."

	And the band played on...

*****************

	Imadori said, "Maybe you should take more aspirin."  
He frowned.

	"I'm fine," Buddha said, lying.  "I don't think it's safe 
to take more than I've had, and we don't have any medical 
grade painkillers."

	"We should go kick the shit out of that woman," 
Yukari said, frowning as she looked at Buddha.  "After 
what she did to him."

	"She'd beat the everliving shit out of us," Imadori said.

	Yukari wiggled a finger.  "Language."

	"She'd beat the everliving STUFFING out of us," 
Imadori said, shaking his head.  "And I couldn't bear to see 
you get beaten up by Lala-chan."

	Yukari blushed a little, and stepped over to put an arm 
around his back.  "Would it make you angry?"

	"I'd attack Lala in a fury and then she'd make me eat 
my own spleen," Imadori said sadly, putting an arm around 
her back as well.  

	"You can't eat your spleen, it's inside you," Yukari 
said.  "I'm no biologist, but I know that."

	"She would find a way," Imadori said.  "We'll just 
have to punish her by wrecking her performance 
tomorrow."

	"Oooh, spite.  I like spite," Yukari said cheerfully.

	"It's part of what makes you so wonderful," Imadori 
said, kissing her cheek."

	She blushed again.  

	"You may wish to consider there are security cameras 
filming you both," Buddha mumbled.

	"Yes, but we control them now," Imadori said.  "And 
it's unlikely anyone else will end up here, hurt."

	"It's nearly midnight.  You need to round up the ladies 
to sing in the New Year," Buddha mumbled.

	"I can't just leave you here alone," Imadori said, 
frowning.

	"Yeah, that would be pretty terrible after how hard 
you protected our date," Yukari said.

	Buddha raised an eyelid slightly at Yukari, studied 
her, then said, "This is your shining moment.  Seize it; this 
is what I fought for."

	"I..." Imadori began.

	"I'll stay with him.  He can probably use some English 
tutoring anyway," Yukari said.  "You go do your dream 
show."

	"I...you don't mind?" Imadori asked.

	"It's fine, dear," she said, kissing his cheek.  "Go."

	So he went.  

	"Don't worry," she said to Buddha.  "You'll be in so 
much pain from my teaching soon that you won't even 
FEEL your wounds."  Her voice was gentle, and it was 
clearly an attempt to comfort him.

	But not a very well done one.

**************
	
	"There's Dad," Nara said.  "Dancing with...Lala?"

	Akira's eyes flicked across the room.  "And your 
mother is after Eri's father."

	"You think so?" Hanai asked in surprise.

	"They're just dancing," Mikoto said.  "And if it calms 
down Lala..."

	Imadori now came up to them with Tenma (now in a 
Red Ranger outfit), Jenny, Kasumi, and Miki in tow (with 
Karasuma, Keiichi, Shinichi, and Masahiro trailing after 
them).  "Miko-chan, I need you to sing in the new year."

	"What?" she asked.  

	"For the big midnight finale, I need you all to do the 
countdown.  Everyone else already said yes," Imadori said.  
"Please?"

	"I...well..."  She looked over at Hanai.

	"Do it if you want to," he said.  "I don't mind."

	"I think...," Nara began.

	But no one would ever know what Nara thought (and 
few would care), because now people on the porch outside 
howled and ran in through the doors.  "There's a horde of 
wolves and Indians!" one of them yelled.

	"Indians?  In Japan?" Hanai asked in disbelief.

	"This had better not be your father," Mikoto said.

	Another of the people running inside shouted, "It's Vin 
Diesel!  We're all going to die!"

	"Why would Vin Diesel attack this party with wolves 
and Indians?" Nara asked.

	Akira said, "This is our cue to GET OUT."

	"Rangers!  You've got to defend us!"

	"What, ME?" Kasumi asked in disbelief.

	"It must be an attack from Dark Queen Fatora!" 
Imadori said.  He prayed it was just Mrs. Sawachika getting 
enthusiastic and wanting to stage a Doujibiron style fight.  
That was why he couldn't see her anywhere, right?

	People began to panic and run everywhere in terror.  
Security, hypnotized by the continuing porn on the 
monitors, failed to respond.  

	Mr. Nara, seeing dogs pouring in with Indians behind 
them, swept Lala off her feet and began to run at high 
speed.  "Don't worry, fair maiden, I will get you to safety," 
he said.  

	"I can fight them," she said. 

	"Let us find better ground, and we can fight them 
together," he said, heading for the bandstand.  High ground 
was good, or so he hoped.

	Lala turned crimson, then mumbled incoherently.

	Meanwhile, seeing the onrushing attack, Kimiko 
picked up Henry and ran for the exit which led deeper into 
the house.  "Don't worry, you're safe with me."

	He was impressed by how fast she ran, and a little 
embarrassed but he didn't ask to be let down.  "Where are 
we going?"

	"Once we reach the door, I should be able to hold it 
against the dogs so everyone else can get out," Kimiko 
said.  "Though you might want to call your butler."

	"Good idea," he said, getting out his phone and 
making the call.

	Jenny looked at the dogs.  "RANGERS!  CHARGE!"  
She rushed forward.

	"Jenny, you idiot, we can't fight all these dogs!" 
Kasumi said, running after her.

	"RED RANGER TO THE RESCUE!" Tenma 
shouted, getting into character.  She soared into the air and 
landed on a dog's head, driving it into the ground, then 
hefted two more dogs and spun, tossing them through the 
mob to disrupt it.

	"Hey, if the kid can do it, so can we!" Jenny shouted, 
laughing as she charged.

	"TENMA!" Mikoto shouted, charging after her.

	Miki shrugged, kissed Masahiro, then said, "See you 
soon, honey!" and charged after the others.

	"Should we help?" Keiichi asked nervously.

	"We can help evacuate people and pitch in if they 
need us," Hanai said, quickly detailing the menfolk to begin 
escorting people.

	Akira looked over at Nara.  "I expect Lala needs more 
saving from your father than Mr. Sawachika from your 
mother."

	Nara sighed.  "Yes.  Let's go!"  They took off running.

	From the roof, Mr. Tarakawa observed through the 
skylight and watched over the edge of the roof.  They're 
filling the artificial fjiord with tea...tea???  HOW COULD 
THEY COMMIT SUCH A SIN AGAINST TEA?

	Next to him, Miss Spider shivered at the blasphemy.

 	He continued to observe.  Mostly women, but there's a 
man in charge...That's not really Vin Diesel, is it?  Isn't 
Diesel bald?  This guy had slick black hair and a huge 
headdress and a tomahawk in each hand and buckskin 
clothing...and warpaint.  That spelled out xXx.  But he 
wasn't Vin Diesel.  

	Probably.

	And then the witch looked up at him.  Her crimson 
eyes bored into his, and he felt his skin itch.  She seemed to 
see right through him, like she knew everything.  He froze 
up briefly in a panic, then managed to turn his gaze aside 
and ran.  He knew her face from the security camera...that 
was Akira's younger sister Yakumo...and if she could do 
this to him from so far away...who knows what...could her 
sister do it too?  Probably with more subtlety...who knew 
what Akira knew now...

	Not to mention...their mother was right here next to 
him...could she do this?  How much did she know?

	He decided it was time to get the hell out and consider 
what to do next later, from a safe distance, in a hotel room.

	Kagura strode through the party like a laughing 
goddess of destruction, running around whooping and 
knocking over giant cardboard stands and shouting 
commands that the dogs ignored and loving it.  

	Then she found herself confronted by the Pink Ranger.

	For a moment, Kagura stared at her mindlessly, then 
shouted in broken English, "A big Indian woman is here to 
scallop you!"

	The Pink Ranger shrieked like a wounded animal and 
ran for her life.  Kagura instinctively began to chase her.

	"I won't let you get away with this!" someone shouted, 
and then Kagura felt someone crash into her back, boot 
first.  She fell to the ground.

	The Green Ranger said, "Never fear, GREEN IS 
HERE!"  

	Far away, Imadori shouted, "GO, GO, GREEN 
RANGER!"  He and a now recovered Ishiyama had joined 
Kimiko and Henry at the door, through which they ushered 
fleeing guests while holding off the dogs.

	Kagura stood up and the Green Ranger flipped up into 
the air, then landed, striking a pose which Kagura was 
pretty sure she'd seen in the Karate Kid movies.  "Okay, 
YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"

	Kagura charged at the Green Ranger, who began 
hopping backwards on one foot, lashing out with her other 
foot, while using her arms to parry aside Kagura's frenetic 
punches.  "COME BACK HERE YOU JUMPING BEAN!"

	The Red Ranger faced off with Chiyo-Chan.  She 
jumped to one side as Chiyo Chiyo-charged, riding 
Tadakichi, armed with a spear that used to be a flagpole.  In 
fact, it still had a flag on it.  

	The Red Ranger flipped over, grabbed another flag, 
then seized the largest dog she could find and forced it to 
charge towards Chiyo-chan, using her flag as a lance as 
well.  

	Harima stared.  Is that Tenma?  "No, don't attack the 
Red Ranger!" he shouted, but neither of them were paying 
attention.  

	Horror music began to play from the loudspeakers, as 
Osaka advanced on Lala and Mr. Nara, a butcherknife in 
her hands and a cold, evil grin on her face.  Dogs circled, 
slowly closing in towards the bandstand.   "THE EAST 
INDIA COMPANY WILL PAY FOR ITS SINS!" she 
shouted.

	Yakumo watched the chaos, wondering if it was such 
a good idea.  Also, there was a distinct lack of sausage; she 
had a feeling the dogs would be displeased.  

	Harima leaped to try and save the Red Ranger from 
Chiyo-chan's charge, only to have the Yellow Ranger come 
leaping down at him.  He was knocked back into the wall, 
and now the Yellow Ranger advanced on him, unleashing a 
barrage of attacks.  He'd lost his Tomahawks to the first 
blow, and the woman...she fought like Harry, he realized.

	"MacKenzie, that's not you in drag is it?" he asked, 
trying to get his footing back.

	"DRAG?  DRAG?  I'M A REAL WOMAN, 
DAMMIT!" she shouted, doubling her assault.

	Tadakichi shied at the last second, and the Red Ranger 
and Chiyo-chan flew past each other harmlessly.

	The Blue Ranger dropped down by Yakumo.  
"Yakumo, what are you doing?"

	"I'm not Yakumo," she said through the silver mask 
she'd donned.  "I am the Witch of Salem."

	The Blue Ranger sighed. "You want Imadori having 
an excuse to do this to your party?"

	"He will try to sabotage mine anyway," the Witch of 
Salem said sadly.  

	The Blue Ranger looked around at the chaos and 
sighed.  "Just...don't make this any worse, please?  For your 
sister's sake?"

	Yakumo saw the Red Ranger and Chiyo-chan chasing 
each other around the room.  "I thought..."

	"Isn't it better to win fair and square?" the Blue Ranger 
asked.

	Yakumo suddenly felt very guilty.  
	
	Mrs. Sawachika, still in costume, now came out to 
where her husband was.  After a glance at Kimiko, she said 
to Imadori, "This is your party.  You're in charge.  How are 
you going to salvage this?"

	Eri now came out, clad in her rather scanty Evil 
Princess Pickle Pepper costume, which put the low in low-
cut and the SHINY in glitter.  "Fine, I'm wearing my stupid 
costume now.  Are we...what the..."  As she stared at the 
chaos, her eyes widened.

	Imadori grabbed her hand.  One hope.  "Follow me!"

	Eri got dragged through the howling chaos to the 
bandstand, where Imadori turned off the horror music and 
put the music back on.  He could see Osaka dueling with 
Mr. Nara, his sword-cane against her butcherknife, while 
Lala threw aside every dog that charged them, howling 
angrily.

	"HARIMA KENJI!  I know you're here!" he shouted.  
"Take a look at this!"  He turned Eri, who felt half-naked, 
because she nearly was, towards the raging barbarian who 
HAD to be Harima.  

	Harima stared at Eri, then gushed blood out of his 
nose, giving a cry of surprise, and then the Yellow Ranger 
kicked him in the groin and brought her fists down on his 
head.

	He collapsed, gibbering, unable to think of anything 
but what he'd just seen.  Sometimes near-nakedness can hit 
you far harder than the real thing...

	As the Yellow Ranger was about to finish him, 
Yakumo moved in a blur, staff flashing to knock the 
Yellow Ranger's leg out as she tried to bring her other leg 
down on Harima. 

	The Blue Ranger turned and decided to go make sure 
Tenma and Chiyo-chan didn't kill each other.

	"Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread ranger!" the 
Green Ranger taunted Kagura, who dove for her, only to 
get kicked in the butt and punted off towards the exit doors.

	The Yellow Ranger stared at Yakumo.  "Well, well, 
the Witch of Salem?  WE BURNED ALL OUR 
WITCHES!" she shouted in English, then unleashed a 
flurry of blows.  But Yakumo read them all just before they 
were unleashed, and parried each one with her staff.

	Harima staggered to his feet now, wobbling.

	Mr. Nara forced Osaka back across the stage, Lala 
covering his rear as he advanced.

	Eri felt an odd sense of pleasure that the sight of her 
got Harima so...affected. And anger at him getting 
clobbered.  "I am not your doll to flaunt, Imadori!" she 
shouted at him.

	"Ladies, gentlemen, enjoy the show, this is our grand 
Doujibiron battle sequence to celebrate the new Year, 
which begins in ten...nine...eight..."

	The survivors began to chant in unison as they 
counted down the new year and beat each other and dogs 
up.

	Even Eri began to count, unable to help herself.  
"Three...two...one...MIDNIGHT!"

	Akira shook her head.  Getting everyone back in time 
to set up Kenji's party was going to be BRUTAL.  A good 
thing they hadn't planned anything for the party which 
required too much thought...

	Harima rang in the New Year by kicking the Yellow 
Ranger in the butt, sending her flying off into the middle of 
the dogs, who were complaining there was NO SAUSAGE.  
"RETREAT!  We've done enough damage to the Yeast 
Hindu Company!"

	His crew fled into the night with the Rangers chasing 
them.

	Eri said, "Don't EVER flaunt me again," to Imadori.

	He grinned.  "Don't tell me you didn't like his 
reaction."  Then he strode off, leaving her open mouthed.

	Imadori walked up to Mrs. Sawachika.  "So?"

	"Not bad," she said.  "Not bad.  Now how do you plan 
to clean up the mess?"

	Imadori got onto the loudspeakers.  "Video Store 
Appreciation Society!  Cleanup in Main Ballroom!"

	His people swarmed to work, while he went to go 
check on Buddha.

	Mrs. Sawachika watched him go thoughtfully.

**************

	We now leap back slightly in time.

	There, done.  

	Watch out for that jetlag.

	As midnight approached in the Anegasaki household, 
Tani could see almost everyone but him had fallen asleep.  
However, Tae now roused and took his hand and tugged 
Yuri awake, then crept out to the porch with them.  The air 
was cold and bracing and quickly forced Yuri all the way 
awake.  

 	They could see the sea, waves beating against the 
shore beneath a dark, starry sky, down below them at the 
base of the cliff.  The tang of salt was in the air.  

	"Now here's the tricky part," Tae said.

	Yuri looked down.  "This isn't some traditional cliff-
diving thing, right?"

	"No.  It's just that we should kiss at midnight, which is 
trickier with three people," Tae said.  "So you two should 
probably go first, then I can kiss each of you."

	"Sound reasonable to me," Tani said.

	"Okay," Yuri said, then pulled Tani into an embrace 
and kissed him softly as the full moon shone down.  

	Tae said, "Wait, it's not midnight yet!"

	Yuri finished the kiss, then grabbed Tae and kissed her 
as well, pulling Tae in close.  "I don't need an excuse now," 
she said softly, blushing a little, still holding Tae tightly.

	Tae did as well.  "Silly of me to get embarrassed at 
this point."

	"You're not silly, you're our love," Tani said softly, 
then kissed her as the TV suddenly doubled in volume 
inside, shocking everyone awake as a bunch of idol singers 
chanted, "Ten...nine...eight..."

	They were still kissing when midnight hit.  Tae wished 
it would never end.

	However, their romantic interlude ended with a 
particularly large puff of smoke flying right into their faces.

	"Sorry about that!" Mr. Anegasaki said.  "I didn't 
realize you were out on the porch!"

	A cigarette flew past them and over the cliff.  "Enough 
of that.  Eat this breath mint, then kiss me," Mrs. Anegasaki 
said to her husband.

	"I'm sick of these..."  His voice was cut off by gurgling 
noises, and Tae laughed.

	Yuri asked, "That happen often?"

	"All the time," Tae said, laughing.  "All the time."

*************

	The Rangers were still chasing the invaders when the 
Green Ranger said, "Umm...does anyone have any idea 
where we are?"

	The Blue Ranger looked around; you couldn't see any 
landmarks down here in the valley full of trees.  "Not a 
clue."

	The Yellow Ranger said, "Well, our boyfriends will 
come find us, right?"

	"Or maybe Keiichi will convince them you need a 
lesson in not flirting with young punks to make him jealous 
and he'll let us all wander around lost!" the Pink Ranger 
said, panicking.

	"I wouldn't have to make him jealous if he'd show a 
little affection in public without it!" the Yellow Ranger 
said.

	"MY boyfriend will not abandon us!," the Red Ranger 
said.  "He'll come find us even if Keiichi is a punk."

***********

	"He volunteered to WHAT?" Imadori asked.

	"Karasuma said he would dispose of the curry," 
Ishiyama said to Imadori.

	"Who made the curry?" Imadori asked as he studied 
Karasuma, who was lying on the floor, moaning.

	"Shouldn't we take him to the infirmary?" Ishiyama 
asked.  "I think Sawachika-san made it."

	If we do get married, it's a good thing we'll have a 
cook, Imadori thought.  "Okay, let's get him stashed away."  
He paused.  "Wait...she cooked for my party?"

	"She did have this odd look on her face at the time," 
Ishiyama said as he hefted one end of Karasuma and 
Imadori took the other.  "Man, she looks hooooot in that 
outfit."

	"Yeah, Princess Pickle Pepper is pretty hot," Imadori 
said.  

	"So what the hell just happened to our party, anyway?  
Was that Harima?"

	"A good show," Imadori said.  "You have to learn to 
roll with the punches, Ishiyama, or you'll end up beaten and 
broken.  Let's go."

************

	"I think that...I mean..."  Yakumo could see and feel 
how agitated Harima was feeling, and hesitated to criticize.

	"Jesus, who the hell was that Green Ranger?  Isn't the 
Karate Kid guy kinda old and not female now?"

	"She was nothing compared to the Yellow one," 
Osaka said.  "Or the Blue one."

	"The Blue one didn't do much," Kagura said.  "But I 
want a rematch with the Green one."

	"I could kick the Green one's ass with both hands 
behind my back," Harima said.  "But I never thought Harry 
would dress up in drag like that."

	"That was Harry?" Yakumo asked.

	"Fought just like him," Harima said.  "I won, of 
course, but he gave me a good fight."  He stretched.  "I 
went easy on him at first, of course, makes for a better 
show."

	Yakumo could tell he was lying, but it wasn't worth 
fighting about.

	Harima kneeled down by one of the dogs.  "I'm sorry, 
I was wrong, there was no sausage.  I have to do stuff 
tomorrow, but how about if I help you guys find some 
sausage in two days?"

	They heard the dogs barking at him.  This seemed to 
mollify them.  

	Harima nodded and rose.  "Two days, then."

	"Well, I had fun despite my troubles," Kagura said.

	"But now they have an excuse to wreck our parties," 
Yakumo said softly.

	"Imadori didn't need an excuse.  And I won't let him 
wreck yours, Yakumo-san," Harima said.

	"I..." she began.

	"And since you're my girlfriend, I won't wreck yours 
either.  Still, that could have gone better."

	Shyly, Yakumo took Harima's hand, and hoped he was 
right that he could prevent