This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic

Chapter 20:  Party!  Party!  Party!  Party!  

By John Biles

****************

	Mai found it exceedingly ominous that Tougo had told 
her to pack the Pretty Princess Mai-chan costume in a 
shoulder bag, along with two changes of clothing and 
various other things.  Especially the mayonaise.  What is he 
planning at this party, she wondered.

	He had a bag himself, which made her worry more.

	Mai's mother asked, as she dropped them off, "What 
time should I come get you?"

	"It may be late, so Vice-President Aino-sensei invited 
us to stay the night, since it is a late celebration," Tougo 
said.

	"Oh right, right.  Good, no danger of...uumm...yes, 
enjoy yourselves," Mai's mother said hastily.

	Mai looked at her mother curiously, then said, "Have 
fun with Dad."

	"Ha.  Ahahaha.  Ha," Mai's mother tittered.  "Fun, yes, 
it will be."

	Mai decided ignorance was definitely bliss.  

****************

	"I hesitate to ask..." Umino began.

	Nyamo was wondering why Yukari was wearing a 
sentai costume herself.

	"Because I am pretty and special," Yukari said.  She 
smiled the benevolent smile of a shark.

	"I see," Nyamo said.

	"Ahh, that kind of special," Umino said.

	"Not THAT kind of special!!!"

	They pulled into the parking lot now and Umino came 
around to let them both out, then he took Nyamo by the 
arm; she'd worn a long black evening dress, uncertain how 
to dress for the party.  They could hear tinny electronic 
music coming out of the lodge, and spotted Imadori in a 
blue uniform at the door.

	Nyamo cocked her head.  "Vaguely familiar."

	"All electronica sounds the same," Umino said.  "In 
my opinion."  

	He and Nyamo began walking forwards, while Yukari 
ran ahead to take Imadori's hands and kiss him.  He 
whispered, "Much as I love your gentle kisses, my dear, we 
will both be killed if caught."

	"That just makes it more fun," she said, grinning.

	Umino caught up to them.  "I would rather not see 
Nyamo cry because you have been killed, Yukari-san."

	"Oh, they won't really kill us," Yukari said.

	"Killing would be a mercy by comparison," Nyamo 
said.  "At least try to be careful."

	Still holding Imadori's hands, Yukari said, "I am the 
very essence of caution."

	"I can walk under my own power!," Eri shouted from 
inside; they could hear her coming.

	Imadori jumped back slightly, letting go of Yukari's 
hands.  Eri stepped out on the porch.  "Mother says I have 
to help greet your guests.  But I'm not wearing a costume," 
she said.  She wore a nice black evening gown almost 
identical to Nyamo's.  She blinked at Yukari.  "Aren't you 
that drunken teacher?"

	In English, Yukari said, "A brilliant, beautiful, wise 
English teacher.  Not that you can probably understand 
what I'm saying."

	Eri grinned like a shark.  In English, she said, 
"Actually, this is my birth tongue.  I guess you must be the 
Dork Ranger."

	"I am the Beautiful and Wise RED ranger.  You need 
to work on your colors.  Also, it's 'dark', not 'dork'," Yukari 
replied.

	Shrunken due to inability to keep up with high speed 
angry English, Imadori, Nyamo, and Umino watched 
nervously.

	"Your booty is certainly too full," Eri said.  "I guess 
Imadori likes you for your size D butt.  And I meant 'dork', 
definitely."

	"He never touches YOUR breasts," Yukari crowed 
triumphantly.  "I win."

	Tiny tongues of flame hung in Eri's eyes.  Imadori 
knew there was only one way to defuse the situation, which 
was to whip out a sprig of mistletoe, hold it over Eri's head 
and try to kiss her.  

	She pounded him into the porch, while Nyamo and 
Umino wrestled Yukari inside.

**************	

	Akira's mother cocked her head.  Sounded like an 
awful lot of dogs in the mountains.  But that wasn't her 
problem; riding a motorcycle in an evening dress, that 
WAS.  Fortunately, she kept her dresses ready for action, 
so this one was able to come apart enough to let her ride 
comfortably.  Though the cold evening air didn't help.

	Then she spotted the Interpol police vans, badly 
hidden along one side of the road and cocked an eyebrow.  
How very strange, she thought.  Hopefully not here to 
wreck yet another party I attend.

	But really, they were parked far enough away that it 
probably wasn't an issue.

	Or at least, this time, she wasn't the hostess.

**************

	Osaka groaned.  "These kegs of tea are so heavy!"

	"Naah, they're not so bad, right, Sakaki?" Kagura 
asked Sakaki.  

	"I can carry yours for you," Sakaki offered to Osaka.

	"No, it's my job...AHAH!" Osaka said.

	Yakumo said, "What?"

	Osaka put her barrel down, turning it so that the long 
direction pointed down the mountain. Then she mounted it 
and pushed off, zooming down the slope tobaggon style.  

	"Cool!" Kagura said, doing likewise.

	Soon, all of them but Chiyo were zooming down the 
slope; she rode Tadakichi down after them.  "Wait up for 
us!" she yelled.

	Osaka swayed to one side or the other, wobbling 
around trees and laughing the whole time.

	Yeah, this is gonna be a fun night, Kagura thought.

************

	Yuri, Tae, and Tani piled off the train; a middle aged 
man with a huge auburn afro was waiting for them; he was 
bundled up in warm winter clothing and had a brightly 
colored scarf with tiny green leaves on it.

	"Papa!" Tae said, hugging him.  "Do you still have the 
Van of Love?"

	"Of COURSE I do," he said, hugging her tightly.  "It's 
so nice to see you smiling again."

	Tae laughed nervously.  "Been a while, yeah."

	Mr. Anegasaki came over to Yuri and Tani, holding 
out a hand to each of them.  "I'm Anegasaki Taiki.  Nice to 
meet you."

	"Moteuchi Yuri," Yuri said, shaking one hand.

	"Tani Hayato," Tani said.  

	"You two teach at Tae-chan's school, right?" Mr. 
Anegasaki asked.

	"I teach English," Tani said.

	"I'm a baker, actually, though I'll be starting college 
soon, I hope," Yuri said nervously.

	"Oooh, a baker.  Good, you can ensure we don't all die 
during the holiday!" Mr. Anegasaki said.  "My wife's a 
dear, but she's not a great baker, so she could use some 
help."  He looked around, as if expecting to be hit, but no 
one hit him.  "Though it's already too late to save dinner."  
He shook his head.  "Your sister is here with her husband 
already," he told Tae.

	"Oooh, she is?," Tae asked.  "Did she finally drag her 
husband away from his work?"

	"Well, it is holidays and he's a teacher, so he has no 
work right now," Mr. Anegasaki said, hustling them 
towards the parking lot.

	"Oh, true," Tae said. She took Yuri and Tani by the 
hand.  "Let's go!"

*************

	Karen stared at everything; it's a Doujibiron 
wonderland, she thought.  My little brother would die from 
joy.  She knew she should have expected this, but it still 
caught her by surprise.  Much better than sausage.

	"What is this?" Lala asked her, whispering.

	"Hatenkou Robo Dojibiron, a giant robot superhero 
show," Karen said, pointing to the giant inflated robot 
standing by the ballroom entrance.  Buddha and Ishiyama 
were up on the bandstand, acting as DJs; at the moment, 
they were playing the third OP music from season 4.  

	A large number of confused looking rich people 
clustered near the refreshments stand, which was being 
manned by Nakamura and Yoshidayama, and a few boys 
Karen couldn't remember the names of.  A few couples 
wandered about, studying the decorations and whispering 
to each other.

	"Looks like everyone's as confused as me," Lala said.

	Harry now came out in a Futile Earth Self-Defense 
Force uniform, holding a bundle.  "Got a costume for you, 
Karen."

	Karen blinked.  "You're helping out Imadori?"

	"Oh, he's dead meat, unless Sawachika-san's parents 
have weird tastes," Harry said.  "But I'm bored, and I figure 
this should be good for a few laughs."

	Lala looked at him assessingly.  "But you realize, if he 
loses, he will likely resume his pursuit of Karen, while if he 
wins, he'll be out of your hair forever," she said.

	"..."

	Karen blinked.

	"As he clearly can't stand to see you with her, being a 
jealous little punk that he is," Lala said.  "I'm torn myself 
between the desire to see him die and the desire to keep 
him away from Karen."

	"As am I," Harry said.  "But you should probably put 
on the costume so we can make fun of it all, Karen."

	Karen wasn't so sure that was wise, but she decided to 
go along with it for now.

*************

	"How is it going?" Eri's mother asked Eri.

	"The true horror isn't obvious at the front door," Eri 
said.  "So it...ahh!"

	She jumped as she saw her mother was now dressed as 
one of the major villains of Dojibirion, Evil Queen Fatora; 
this involved a huge red wig of wavy red hair with golden 
crown, a very skimpy purple dress, and huge boots.  Eri felt 
key brain cells dying even from just looking.  "Mother, 
you..."

	"I need to get back and help your father get his outfit 
on.  It's rather elaborate.  And too cold out here for me in 
this," Ami Sawachika said.

	"You look PERFECT," Imadori said, taking Ami's 
hand and kissing it.  "Your highness captures the look 
perfectly."

	"I can't believe you're doing this!" Eri said to her 
mother.

	"I'm just trying to help out," Ami Sawachika said to 
her daughter.  "It's nice to let my hair down sometimes."

	"Everyone will think you are crazy!" Eri said.

	"New Years' Eve is a good time to get a little crazy," 
Ami Sawachika said.  "You're not going to be a spoilsport 
at all the parties, are you?"

	"Maybe," Eri grumbled.

	Her mother shook her head sadly.  "Well, that's your 
loss, dear.  I'd best get inside.  Keep your fiancee 
company."

	Eri grumbled under her breath.

	Her mother slid inside, and Imadori said, "I still have a 
Doujibiron Yellow costume for you, if you want it."

	"No," Eri said.  "I'm just fine."

	"As you like."

****************
	
	Lots of people milled about; a few danced; the 
pachinko machines were a big hit, as people at least 
understood what they were.  Until they got a Doujibiron 
based prize, anyway.  

	Buddha stolidly watched over the Pachinko machines, 
observing Yukari, who was obsessively pumping coins into 
one of the machines, but whose fumble fingers meant she 
lost most of her balls.  He tried to decide whether to 
intervene.

	"Nyamo-chan, I think someone's rigged this machine," 
Yukari said to the air; Nyamo and Umino had wandered off 
to the dance floor.  

	"These machines are clean," a deep man's voice said, 
sounding irritated.  "You simply are too incompetent to 
handle pachinko."

	She turned and said, in English, "You are too ignorant 
to criticize me, whoever you are."  THAT should intimidate 
the man, she was sure.

	The large bulky man, dark haired and dressed in a nice 
suit, said, "My company MADE these machines," in 
English.  "You are somewhat drunk and probably clumsy 
when sober."

	Buddha blinked, and listened curiously.  There had 
been that one rigged machine.

	"Uh huh.  I've heard THAT pickup line before," 
Yukari said.  "I already have a boyfriend."

	The big man stared at her mindlessly for a moment, 
then said, "I don't need a drunk for a girlfriend.  And I'm 
Tarakawa Kenichi, president of the Tarakawa Gaming 
Machines Corporation."  He pointed to the logo on the side.

	Yukari folded her arms under her breasts.  "Gonna 
have to see some ID, mister."

	He sighed and produced his driver's license.

	Buddha said, "I believe he tells the truth, sensei."

	"At least SOMEONE is sensible," Mr. Tarakawa said, 
folding his arms across his chest.

	Yukari peered at the ID, then passed it back.  "Okay, 
so you're a big fat man who owns a company.  Doesn't 
mean this machine doesn't CHEAT."

	"I'll show you."  He stepped up; his fingers flew at 
blinding speed, manipulating flippers with precision, 
enabling him to catch every ball.

	Buddha's eyes widened.  A true genius of Pachinko.  
He felt a little envy that the man had been able to follow his 
dream to its logical limit; Buddha feared his own goals of 
running a movie company might never come true.  

	Yukari stared.  "But...the balls...they don't..."

	"What's my prize, lad?" the man asked Buddha.

	"Well, maybe I'd better call Imadori-san, if you don't 
mind," Buddha said.  "He'll be stunned you won it, but if I 
gave it away without him, he'd cry."

	"Alright," the man said.

	Yukari frowned and tried playing again; still no luck.

	Buddha called Imadori in; he arrived with 
Yoshidayama in tow.  "What's..."  then he saw the package 
in Buddha's hands.  "He...he won it?"  Imadori looked 
stunned.

	"Imadori Kyousuke?  I'm Tarakawa Kenichi; my 
company made the machines you're renting," he said.  
"May I see my prize?"

	"I hoped no one would win it," Imadori mumbled, 
looking lost in the lonely void.

	Buddha handed the package; one side was clear, 
showing a first printing, first season Doujirbiron poster, 
signed by all of the original cast.  It was in mint condition.  
"Be careful; there are those who would kill for this."

	"For a signed poster?" Mr. Tarakawa asked.

	"Yes."

	Mr. Tarakawa looked very thoughtful and took it 
carefully.  "Well, then, I will treasure it."

	"Kyousuke-kun, this machine hates me!  Make it obey 
my will," Yukari said to Imadori.

	Mr. Tarakawa's eyebrows rose a moment, then fell.  
"Well, if I stay, I'll just take everyone else's prizes.  Are the 
machines performing well?"

	"Very well, sir," Buddha said.

	"Is Takano Akira-san at the party yet?" Mr. Tarakawa 
said.  "I wish to meet her."

	Imadori, who had gone over to help Yukari, spun on 
his heel.  "Her breasts are so small, though."

	"At my age, women with big breasts start sagging and 
it makes your eyes burn out," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "It's 
better to have smaller breasts which will retain more of 
their original shape."

	Imadori thought about this and felt brain cells dying in 
horror.  It could not be!  Were Miko-chin and Lala-chan 
doomed?  There had to be something that could be done to 
save their breasts!  But what?

	"Takano-san is here with her boyfriend, I believe," 
Buddha said.

	"Ahh, very good."

	"But I have no clue where," Buddha said.  "Maybe 
dancing?"

	"I will check there," Mr. Tarakawa said, and executed.

	"See, the first problem is that you have to invoke the 
five pilots before you try to play a Doujibiron pachinko 
machine," Imadori said, taking each of Yukari's hands as he 
stood behind her, leading her into a sort of dance routine.  

	Buddha watched stolidly, wondering idly why the man 
wanted to find Akira.

****************

	"The cat is in lockdown, right?" Sagano asked 
Nakamura.

	"I locked him in the laundry room," Nakamura said.

	"And reinforced the door?" she asked nervously.

	"I am quite sure he won't jump on your face tonight," 
he said.

	She gave a sigh of relief.  "Thank you.  You're a good 
man, Nakamura-san."

	"Just doing my job," he said.  

	"Okay!  Time to have fun!" she said, and ran off.

	He went and checked on the cat; it was napping 
peacefully.  He smiled and closed and locked the door 
again.  

	Things would be peaceful this time, he was sure.

****************

	Tae's mother looked much like her daughters, except 
for having some grey streaks in her hair and very long, thin 
fingers.  She was wearing an apron, as was her other 
daughter, who was busy cooking while her little 
granddaughter tried to help.  "Moteuchi-san, it's so nice to 
meet you!"  She gave Yuri a very crushing hug, then held 
out a hand to Tani-sensei.  "And it's so nice to meet you 
too, Tani-sensei!"

	Tae went over to hug her sister Eiko.  "Eiko-neechan, 
how are you?"

	"We're doing very well; my husband is feeling very 
proud of his students, as they did well on exams," Eiko 
said.  She looked like Tae if you added about 5 more levels 
of flightiness and just a few years to her.

	"It's nice to meet you," Tani-sensei said.  He could feel 
his nerves finally relaxing.  It looked like this visit would 
go well.

	Yuri felt her nerves relaxing as well.  Surely, this 
would be a quiet, peaceful New Years.  "Would you like us 
to help?"

	Standing behind Mrs. Anegasaki, where her mother 
could not see her, Eiko mouthed 'PLEASE' to Yuri.

	"Sure, dear.  I've got the stew under control, so how 
about if you make us a nice dessert.  We had a little trouble 
with the key lime pie," Mrs. Anegasaki said.

	"Hug me!",  little Shouko commanded her aunt.  Tae 
laughed and picked her up.  

	"Did it not thicken enough when you beat it all 
together?," Yuri asked, switching over to professional 
baker mode.

	Eiko pointed at the ceiling, which had a thin layer of 
yellow and green all over it.

	"I see," Yuri said, nonplussed.

	"Tani-san, my husband and Kimura-san should be in 
the parlor if you want to stay with them while we cook," 
Mrs. Anegasaki said to him.

	Shouko now looked at Tani curiously.  "Are you the 
evil man who made my aunt cry?"

	"No, he's the wonderful man who makes me smile," 
Tae said to her niece, who she was holding.

	"I do my best to make her smile every day," Tani-
sensei said to the little girl.

	"Okay," Shouko said, though it was hard to tell if she 
was convinced.

	Tani kissed Yuri and Tae on the cheeks and went out 
to the parlor, where he found it was rather cold; the parlor 
doors were open and Mr. Anegasaki sat by them, smoking, 
letting his smoke drift outside.  

	Kimura-sensei sat, calmer than usual, in a nice plush 
chair; you couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep.  The two 
men were quiet; Tani was reluctant to break the silence, so 
he just sat down.

	Finally, Kimura stirred, his eyes hidden behind his 
glasses.  "I understand my nephew is in one of your 
classes."

	"Who is he?" Tani-sensei asked.

	"Imadori Kyousuke," Kimura-sensei said.  "His 
mother is my sister."

	"Yes.  He's a mediocre student, spends his time 
chasing women," Tani-sensei said.

	"Good, good, you must seize your teenage years while 
you still have them," Kimura-sensei said.  "Too many 
beautiful young ladies to chase.  You can always study 
once youth is gone."

	"..."

	Mr. Anegasaki puffed away, looking out the window.  
They were up on a cliff overlooking a beach; there were 
docks and three ships tied up--a yacht, a motorboat, and a 
rowboat.  

	"Being ready for college exams is crucial to one's 
future," Tani-sensei argued.

	"Did it make you half as happy as my sister-in-law 
makes you now?" Kimura-sensei asked.

	"I...uh..."  Tani-sensei stared off at the beach.  "No," 
he said softly.  "But there's..."

	"Not everyone is as lucky as you," Kimura-sensei said.  
"Most of us won't find love late in life.  I love my wife 
dearly, and if I hadn't chased girls in high school, we would 
never have met!" he said.

	"You asked her out in high school and now you're 
married?" Tani-sensei asked.  That was kind of romantic.

	"We were after the same girl.  Oh, that got ugly. We 
competed for years, until we realized it would work so 
much better if we worked together," Kimura-sensei said.  
"So we got married."  He gave a happy sigh.  "She's a 
wonderful woman."

	"..."  Tani-sensei looked over at Mr. Anegasaki, who 
was still puffing away, though his cigarette was almost 
gone.  He seems so much more taciturn than he was in the 
car, Tani-sensei thought.

	Kimura looked at him, walked over, and clapped his 
hands by one ear.

	Mr. Anegasaki jumped in his chair, then nearly 
swallowed his cigarette.  After some coughing, he said, 
"Did I fall asleep smoking again?"

	"Yes, father," Kimura-sensei said.

	"I'm just too damn good at this for my own good," Mr. 
Anegasaki grumbled.  "You two trading teacher stories?"

	"Yes, Father, and I was telling him about how I met 
Eiko," Kimura-sensei said.

	Mr. Anegasaki shook his head.  "Both my daughters 
were so rebellious in high school.  Eiko chased all those 
people and I think Tae was trying to become Malcom X or 
something."

	"That would be difficult," Tani-sensei said, imagining 
Tae in blackface.  He laughed at the thought, but then 
wondered what she'd been like then.  He had a few hints, 
but she didn't like to talk about those years.

	"So how did you and Tae-san meet?" Kimura-sensei 
asked.

	"She got hired to be school nurse at our school so the 
previous nurse could start teaching full-time," Tani-sensei 
explained.  He smiled a little dreamily.  "And then she 
made me cookies and it spiralled from there."

	Mr. Anegasaki smiled.  "It's so nice to see her smiling 
again.  She was so rebellious and then so sad..."  He shook 
his head.  "Though I hadn't realized she took after her 
sister."

	"Hmm?"

	"The other girl," Mr. Anegasaki said.  "Moteuchi-san."

	"When Tae-san knows what she wants, nothing will 
stop her," Tani-sensei said, laughing nervously.  

	"My daughters both got that from their mother," Mr. 
Anegasaki said.  "She wanted to be a writer and NOTHING 
would stop her.  I remember she learned to change a diaper 
with one hand and type with the other."  He shook his head, 
pulled out another cigarette and lit up.  "Just be gentle with 
her."

	"I will, sir."  Tani wanted to ask if he was okay with 
the whole...way he and Tae and Yuri were doing things, but 
he was afraid to broach the subject.

	They sat in silence a while, and Tani finally said, "Do 
you think the weather will be good enough for us to go 
boating?"

	"I hope so.  I'd like to go tomorrow evening, once all 
the visitations and things are over.  The neighbors will be 
coming by in the morning.  We're just going to have a quiet 
little party tonight," Mr. Anegasaki said, leaning back in his 
chair.  

	"Good, we could use one," Tani-sensei said.

	"And if it doesn't stay quiet, we'll have more people to 
fight off the ice demons," Mr. Anegasaki said.

	"..."

	Kimura laughed.  "I fell for it too the first time, Tani-
san."

	"..."

	Mr. Anegasaki chuckled quietly.  "At least this time 
we'll survive dessert.  Tae-chan speaks very highly of 
Moteuchi-san's cooking skills."

	"She's most excellent, though Tae-san is good too," 
Tani-san said.

	"They had to learn, my daughters, so the four of us 
wouldn't die from my wife's cooking.  She wouldn't be so 
bad if she would stop trying to write and cook at the same 
time, but..."  Mr. Anegasaki shook his head and yawned.  
"You can't ever tell her what to do.  So I've just learned to 
slack and let her do it her way and then laugh when it 
blows up on her.  Then run."

	Tani-sensei laughed at that, as did Kimura.

	They lapsed into an amiable silence again, which was 
fine with Tani-sensei.  He felt due for a little relaxation.  

****************

	Yuuki watched Fuyuki and Sagano dance, feeling just 
a little jealous and wishing she could join them.  Stupid 
propriety.  But she had to be careful of her mother's 
massive gossip network.  She didn't think her mother knew 
any rich people, but supposition was the road to self 
destruction at Yuuki's house.

	Tenma bounced up to her with Karasuma.  "Come 
dance to the weird music with us!"

	"But you...I wouldn't want to..." Yuuki began.

	She was unable to resist Tenma dragging her out into a 
weird dance with Tenma and Karasuma that involved a lot 
of bobbing around like a living fishing lure.  She could see 
many confused rich people watching them from a distance, 
as if studying their actions.

	She also could see Eri's parents sitting on thrones, 
looking very amused and completely over the top.  

	Well, if they can enjoy this, so can I, Yuuki thought.  
She began bobbing along, pretending to be a fish decoy.  

	It beat feeling sorry for herself.

**************

	Yoshidayama was getting some beer when a shadow 
loomed over him.  Keiichi had positioned himself between 
Yoshidayama and one of the spotlights.  "If you touch my 
girlfriend tonight, you will DIE," he said.

	"You wanna take me?  We can step outside right 
now," Yoshidayama said confidently.

	"I'm not going to be a bad guest unless I have to.  But 
I will take out the garbage if I must," Keiichi said.

	Yoshidayama looked at Tenma dancing and thought 
about being pulled out of the garbage.  She wouldn't be 
happy if he started a fight.  And it would be easy to 
provoke Keiichi into being the bad guy, anyway.  "Alright, 
your wussness."  He turned to go get some sausage and 
rice; the food bar was GREAT, in his opinion.

	Keiichi grimaced, but then Shinichi dragged him 
away.

	I win again, Yoshidayama thought.  Time to eat to 
refuel my engine before I unleash my unstoppable macking 
skills.

**************

	"Did you defeat the porn monster?" Tougo asked Ami.

	Ami looked embarrassed.  "Yes, thank you."

	They were out on the porch, where Makoto, Rei, and 
Mai were trying to cook everyone dinner, while the others 
goofed off.

	Mai mostly managed to ignore her fits of jealousy and 
worked with Makoto and Rei to cook.  Rei seemed to have 
a natural affinity for grilling, and Mai got the impression 
Makoto was a very expert chef.  So she just played flunky.

	"So what's this thing I'm mixing up called?" Mai asked 
as she stirred one concoction.

	"Coleslaw.  Mom says it's obligatory to have with 
barbeque," Minako said.

	From the kitchen inside, Mrs. Aino shouted, "IT'S 
THE LAW!"

	Mai laughed softly.  "So where do you guy...gals go to 
school?"

	"Juuban High," Makoto said, carefully preparing some 
meat with her secret blend of herbs and spices.  "Except for 
Rei at her hoity-toity Catholic girls' school."

	"T and A Academy," Rei said.

	Tougo snarfed his glass of tea up through his nose, 
then fell down.

	Ami just shook her head, while everyone else looked 
confused.  

	I should know this, Mai thought.  Why is Tougo 
laughing?

	Tougo rolled around on the floor, until Rei kicked 
him.  "Get a grip."

	He pulled himself up with the porch railing.  "I would 
expect..." he began, then caught himself.  "Nothing.  I'm 
sure it's a fine school."

	"Everyone here laughs hysterically, then won't tell 
me," Rei said, grumbling.  

	"I don't laugh," Usagi said.

	"Because you don't get the joke," Minako said, 
grinning.

	Mai wished she got the joke too.

*****************
		
	Akira bounced back and forth at the drink bar, waiting 
for Nara to return; the bathroom had called him away.  She 
was idly sipping a screwdriver when a shadow fell over 
her.  She turned and saw Mr. Tarakawa.  She studied him, 
wondering who he was and why he was looking at her.

	"Hmm, good," he said.

	She raised an eyebrow.  "Yes?"

	"You have a body which will last.  Very important," 
Mr. Tarakawa said.

	"What?"  Akira kept her voice non-committal and 
wondered if the man was hitting on her.  He was too big 
and bulky for her.

	"My apologies.  I am Tarakawa Kenichi.  My business 
had some dealings with you, through my assistant," he said, 
bowing deeply.

	She felt honored at that and bowed back.  "A pleasure 
to meet you.  Hayasaka-san was very helpful."  And easy to 
wind around your finger.

	Mr. Tarakawa smiled a slightly predatory smile.  
"Indeed.  Are you planning to major in business in 
college?"

	"Most likely.  A woman must plan solidly for the 
future," Akira said.

	He nodded.  "Indeed.  I understand you are a top 
student as well."

	"Yes, I am," Akira said, then said, "I fear you know 
me better than I know you."

	"I am but the humble servant of fate," he said in a 
manner which belied any humility.  "Given a windfall of 
luck, I parlayed it into my current fortune and taught 
myself the doctrines of business in my spare time.  I believe 
into every life, there comes one shining moment when, if 
we are wise, we can seize a dream and become something 
better than what we were.  But we must be ready to do what 
it takes to follow that dream."

	"I don't believe in shining moments," Akira said.  
"Luck has no innate meaning; we just have to seize the 
chances we are given."

	"You may be right; you seem to me the sort of woman 
who makes the best of every situation," he said, now 
plucking a glass off the nearby table and sipping his tea.  
"Hmm, too much mint."

	"Yes, I think they overdid it, and it drowned out the 
lemon entirely," Akira said.  "Imadori-kun would have 
been wiser to avoid pre-packaged teas," she continued, 
finishing her own glass and getting a fresh one, which she 
sniffed curiously.  "What tea do you like best?"

	"Fujian Imperial Red from one of the Golden Seven 
plantations," he said, smiling, swishing his glass around a 
little and sipping it, which amused her.

	She cocked an eyebrow.  "You normally can't get that 
outside China."

	"Money has its privileges," he said, then stroked his 
chin as if he had a beard, which he did not.  

	She nodded.  "Indeed."  Maybe he is hitting on me, 
she thought.  It was flattering.  Even if he wasn't her type.  
Mostly, anyway.

	"Is your...partner here? Or is he busy planning his 
party tomorrow?" Mr. Tarakawa asked.

	"He's not planning to attend," Akira said.  "He's busy 
with last-minute work for our party, while I scout this out."

	Mr. Tarakawa said, "He's a hard worker?"

	"I can make him be a hard worker," Akira said, 
sipping her tea.  

	Mr. Tarakawa took a deep draught of his, laughing a 
little.  "Still needs a kick to get him going?"

	"Yes," Akira said.  "He has a very creative mind, but 
like most artists, lacks discipline."  What is he probing for, 
she wondered.  He's clearly curious about us.  Though it 
may just be because we all outmanuevered him.  

	Maybe he's contemplating recruiting me on 
graduation, she realized.  While she didn't see pachinko 
making as her long-term goal, perhaps some sort of 
internship during college would look good for later.  It's 
important to make contacts, she told herself.  Even if he 
does seem to be trying to dig information out of me.

	"Will you be attending the morning party?" she asked.

	"I don't know, I may be recovering from this one."  He 
gave a jolly laugh she could tell was a little forced; he was 
clearly a man who was more serious than a joker, usually.

	She nodded.  "Well, I will have to leave this one early 
so I can get up to run the morning one with Kenji-kun."

	The man nodded as if something had been confirmed.  
But what?

	"Well, I shouldn't monopolize your time," he said.  "If 
there is any trouble with my machines tomorrow, call me or 
Hayasaka-san."

	"Of course," she said, watching him go.  What was his 
scheme?  She didn't know, but now she needed to find out.

*****************

	Dinner was a crab stew, and Tani-sensei thought it 
was very good.  It was, in fact, the best meal he'd had in 
months, as his own parents tended to eat Spartanly, even at 
Christmas, and he was not much of a cook himself.  

	The one flaw was that the bread was a little 
overcooked, but the stew let him forget it.  After a while of 
dinner and conversation, he could feel his tension floating 
away.  He hadn't realized how rough the last week had been 
until now.

	"So you're planning to do business school?" Kimura-
sensei asked Yuri.

	Yuri nodded.  "Yes.  Then I'll be in a better position to 
start a big-city bakery."

	"Good luck, college is hard," Eiko said.

	"College was hard for you because you spent most of 
your time chasing boyfriends and girlfriends," her mother 
said.  This was clearly an old bone of contention.

	Eiko did not rise to the bait.  "But you'll meet lots of 
nice people."

	Mrs. Anegasaki shook her head and sighed into her 
stew.

	Mr. Anegasaki took a puff from his cigarette and blew 
a smoke ring, which gradually drifted off towards the open 
window in the living room.

	"Papa, smoking is bad for you, you know," Tae said, 
waggling a finger.

	"EVERYTHING is bad for me at my age.  I'd rather 
die a little early and enjoy it all," he said.  "Though I may 
have to quit to keep from freezing to death."

	"I don't want this house stunk up like the old one," 
Mrs. Anegasaki said.  

	"It is a little cold," Tae said.

	"The cold will make you strong," her mother said.  "So 
how long have you three been seeing each other?"

	They're so...blase about it, Tani thought.  Which was a 
relief, but also was surprising, though it explained why Tae 
had been so...ready for something like that.  

	"A few months," Tae said.  Counting time in the other 
universe.  She thought.  She'd lost track of time there.  "We 
met when Yurippe came to Tokyo to seduce her old friend 
Tanisa."

	Yuri laughed nervously.  "Well, I..."

	"Oh, you were totally after him, just shy about it," Tae 
said, smiling.  "We went on a tour of Tokyo together, and 
things took off from there."

	"Lightning doesn't really strike people who smoke at 
Tokyo Tower, does it?" Mr. Anegasaki asked.

	"I don't think so," Tani said.

	"What gave you that idea?" Kimura-sensei asked in 
surprise.

	"I knew she was making it up," Mr. Anegasaki 
grumbled.

	"When you're that gullible, you deserve anything that 
happens, dear," Mrs. Anegasaki said, finishing her crab 
stew.  "Will everyone want some pie?"

	"Yes, please," Tani said.

	Assent was chorused.

	"I'll help you," Eiko said, going in with her mother.

	Tani whispered to Tae, "Is she likely to sabotage the 
pie by accident at the last minute if left alone with it?"

	"Eiko-chan's just paranoid ever since her graduation 
cake ended up being made with brown sugar, because it 
was all we had and Mother was too busy finishing 'Hearts 
On Fire' to notice," Tae whispered back.  

	"..."

	"She may well get distracted, forget we're eating, and 
start writing again if Eiko doesn't go with her," Tae 
whispered.

	The kitchen began to rattle and bang.

	Mr. Anegasaki sighed.  "It's a good thing I got used to 
waiting for food in the military," he mumbled.

	Tae just shook her head.

	The rattling and banging got louder.

	"She got her hands on the terminal again, I see," 
Kimura-sensei said, shaking his head.

	"I really thought I'd tucked it away where she wouldn't 
see it," Yuri said.

	"We all do our best, but sometimes, the madness is 
just upon her and she wants to write," Tae said, shaking her 
head and rising.  "I'll go get the pie while Eiko-chan 
wrestles Mama."

	"She doesn't...while driving, does she?" Tani-sensei 
asked warily.

	"I do the driving," Mr. Anegasaki said.  "Though we 
have no computer terminal in the car, so she's safe so long 
as she doesn't have the laptop."

	Tani filed that under things to remember.

*****************

	Imadori studied the dynamics of the crowd.  He knew 
enough about parties to tell that much of his audience was 
lurking nervously at the fringes like young teenagers at a 
school dance.  He was going to have to get them out on the 
dance floor or this wasn't going to work.  Hardly any of 
them were watching any of the RARE videos he'd found 
for the three video rooms either.  What was wrong with 
these people?

	He went to the door with Yoshidayama and Ishiyama.  
"Boys, you're manning the door.  Fiancee, you have to 
come dance with me."

	Eri turned and looked at Imadori with fire in her eyes.  
"No."

	"Please?" he asked.

	"No."

	He began making the sad eyes at her.  "Pretty please 
with a cherry on top?"

	"Come on, it's only one dance," Ishiyama said to Eri.  
"He is your fiancee."

	"Not if he loses this contest," Eri said with barely 
suppressed glee.  

	"Hey, why don't you dance with me, and leave him 
here to cry?" Yoshidayama suggested.  "You gotta be bored 
of staying at the door all this time."

	"So true," Eri said.  "People might think I LIKE this 
stupid party."

	Well, that might work, Imadori said.  "Okay, have fun.  
I'll stay here with Ishiyama-san and we can brief incoming 
guests."

	Yoshidayama led Eri inside by the hand; he felt 
excited and nervous at once, his head bobbing about.  
Gonna dance with Eri, score me some dancing with Jenny, 
beat the shit out of Keiichi...LIFE IS GOOD.

	They got inside, and he could feel a weird heat on his 
back; turning, he noticed Eri's mother watching him, 
frowning.  He ignored that and led her out onto the floor, 
then stiffly began trying to waltz.  

	Eri looked a little sad at first, then lightened up as they 
danced.  "Just relax," she whispered.

	He smiled at her nervously, trying to get his cool back.  
He'd dreamed of doing this with her, but had increasingly 
thought it would never happen, but now it was.  He tried to 
relax, but that just made his body flop about too much.

	"So does Imadori have any surprises in store for us?" 
Eri asked softly.

	"Well, he's gonna show the Doujibiron New Years' 
Special on the big wall screen, starting at 11.  It's got the 
rare original footage of them counting down and the 
Yellow Ranger flubs her counting.  Pretty funny."  He 
laughed.  

	Eri tittered gently as Yoshidayama clumsily spun her 
around.  They passed Tenma and Yuuki and Karasuma and 
Sagano and Fuyuki, who were now doing some sort of 
weird looking circular dance thing.  

	"So, you gonna kiss your fiancee at midnight like your 
Mother wants?" Yoshidayama said.  He knew where HIS 
lips would be.  

	Eri wobbled slightly, then said, "Not if I can help it."  
There was something in her voice which made him wonder 
if she had a trick up her sleeve.  

	"Yeah, I'm gonna be getting me some American 
action," Yoshidayama bragged, dodging her foot narrowly.

	Eri smiled at that, which unnerved him slightly.  He'd 
meant to be more...less...women usually took saying things 
that way pretty badly.  "So you think you can survive 
offending Keiichi-san?"

	"I can handle his candy ass," Yoshidayama said 
confidently.  

	"If you say so," Eri said.  "Thank you for passing me 
information on Imadori's plans."

	"Glad to help a real gentlewoman," Yoshidayama said.  
"It's a man's duty."

	Eri nodded, and the music paused.  She let go of his 
hand and curtseyed.  He bowed.  "Thank you," she said, 
then scampered off.

	That was cool, he thought.  Now, it's time to find 
Jenny.

**************

	"Probably he just wants to see who was good enough 
to out-talk his man," Mikoto said to Akira.

	Akira nodded; the two of them were standing by one 
wall; Akira had sent Hanai in search of Nara, who seemed 
to have been eaten alive by the bathroom.  "That's true.  
He'll probably want to see Yakumo, but I think she's off 
planning last minute things with her group."

	Mikoto looked around.  "Seems to me like most of her 
group is here, but she isn't."  She glanced off at Miki and 
Masahiro dancing and wondered if she was going to have 
to send him after Hanai.  

	Akira glanced off.  "They should be back."

	Mikoto sighed.  "I'll get Masahiro, see if the toilet 
monster gets him too."

	"A risk we'll have to take."

*****************

	Nara was perched up on the back of a toilet, holding a 
bottle high in the air over his head.  "Poison is bad!" he said 
as Hanai came in.

	"It's not poison, it'll just make him a little nauseous," 
Keiichi said, trying to reach it.

	"What the hell are you two doing?" Hanai asked.

	"Trying to prevent deaths!" Nara said.

	"It won't kill anyone!  It's just a bunch of nasty stuff 
mixed to make people a little sick and overload their 
tastebuds!  Jalapenos and hot sauce and mustard don't 
KILL," Keiichi said.

	Hanai sighed.  "He's not worth getting this worked up, 
Keiichi-san."

	"He's not hitting on your girlfriend!  And she isn't 
egging him on!"  Keiichi banged his head against the wall.  
"I hate it when Jenny gets like this."

	"If he gets sick, you'll get in trouble," Nara said 
firmly.

	Keiichi jumped for the bottle and failed, then Hanai 
pulled him back.  "He's not worth it, he's just a punk," 
Hanai said.  "If you ignore him, she'll quit.  Though 
whether a woman who does that is worth..."

	He got cut off by Keiichi.  "She's worth it!  Except 
when she's like this."  He sighed.

	They were still arguing this when Masahiro arrived.  
"You guys rioting or what?  The women are getting 
curious."

	"Tell these two that we need to kill the little blonde 
punk," Keiichi said.

	Masahiro sighed. "Look, your girlfriend is being a 
moron and so are you.  You really think she'd dump you for 
that stupid looking little punk?"

	"I...well..." Keiichi stared at the floor.

	"If she would, you ought to just dump her and move 
on.  As you're doomed if her taste is that bad," Masahiro 
said.  "Just ignore him and she'll stop trying to bait you into 
whatever the hell she thinks she is doing."

	He looked over.  "Nara-san, why are you on the toilet 
back?"

	"It's the only way I can get taller than Keiichi to keep 
this stuff from being used."  He waved the bottle.

	"Throw it to me," Masahiro said.  "I'll dispose of it."

	Nara tossed it to him, while Hanai nodded.

	"You should just tell her to stop trying to make you 
jealous," Hanai said to Keiichi.

	"Not all of us can just get women to do whatever we 
want, unlike you two," Keiichi said, pouting into the 
mirror.

	"Hey, I've never been all that good with women," 
Masahiro began.

	"You have two girlfriends at once, you and Hanai-
san!" Keiichi said.  "How do you do it?  Jenny just does 
whatever she wants, and I can't stop her."

	"We're not sharing our girlfriends," Hanai said firmly.  
Not exactly, anyway.

	"Hanai-san's not the best at getting women to do what 
he wants, really; they kind of push him around too," Nara 
offered.

	"Nara-san!"

	Masahiro smiled a little.  "It's not easy for anyone, 
Keiichi, but it's better than fighting pointlessly with a little 
punk."

	Karasuma stepped in.  "Is the party in here?"

	Masahiro passed the bottle to him.  "Can you dispose 
of this?"

	Karasuma opened it, then drained the whole bottle in 
one gulp.

	Everyone stared at him in shock.

	He belched once, then went to the sink and took a 
draught of water.  "Too much tobasco," he concluded.

	"..."  Keiichi stared at him.

	"See?  Revenge isn't easy," Masahiro said.

	Keiichi sighed.  "Fine, fine.  I'll just forget revenge for 
now, since someone ate my revenge."

	Nara giggled a little, still up on the toilet.

	There was a banging on the door, and they heard 
Jenny say, "What's going on in there?  You people ever 
coming out?"

	"Soon," Hanai shouted.

	"You're not having a giant man-orgy without us, are 
you?" Miki asked through the door.

	Keiichi drank a little water, then said, "No women 
allowed at the giant man-orgy!"

	"Hey!  You can't have a giant man-orgy without 
letting us watch!" Jenny said, rattling the door.  "You 
locked the door!"

	"We did?" Keiichi said.

	"I did," Karasuma said.  "What happens in the 
bathroom, stays in the bathroom."

	Nara fell over laughing, while Keiichi tittered and 
Masahiro and Hanai tried to not laugh too much.

	"Why are you laughing?  What are you DOING?" 
Miki asked.

	"Giant man-orgy!" Keiichi said.  He seemed to have 
his humor back.  "Oooh, Nara-san..."

	The door rattled.  "Dammit, if you're all naked and 
sweaty, I want to see it!" Jenny said.  "Let us in!"

	It was a tiny revenge, but Keiichi would take what he 
could get.

***************

	"She has definite potential," Mr. Tarakawa said to Mr. 
Sawachika.  "You shouldn't let her get away, if you can 
help it."

	He nodded, looking simultaneously dignified and silly 
in his officer uniform.  "Well, that is up to our daughter, but 
she seems to have collected a quite talented group of 
friends."

	"So is this engagement contest serious?" Mr. 
Tarakawa asked.

	"Quite serious," Mr. Sawachika said, watching his 
wife dance with one of her cousins, who looked lost and 
confused.  "As serious as this party."

	Mr. Tarakawa frowned, trying to figure out if he was 
sincere or sarcastic.  "I see.  But why such a limited field, 
then?"

	"Keeping things on a manageable scale," Mr. 
Sawachika said smoothly.  Mr. Tarakawa was sure the man 
was hiding something, though.

	"So what do you think of the Harima boy, then?", Mr. 
Tarakawa asked.

	"He's a delinquent punk with no focus.  He draws 
well, though," Mr. Sawachika said. "I'll be surprised if he 
does well, even with Takano-san helping him."

	Mr. Tarakawa frowned at that.  "You think so?"

	"Well, he did make a good impression on some of our 
relatives, but he had to go heavily into debt to do so," Mr. 
Sawachika said.  "A risky gamble for a high-schooler.  He 
does have Mihama-san backing him, though."

	Mr. Tarakawa's eyes flickered.  "Support from the 
Mihama clan?  Not bad for a high schooler."

	"Not bad.  But we'll have to see if it's enough."  His 
voice indicated he suspected it would not be.

	We'll see indeed, Mr. Tarakawa thought.

***************

	"Gonzales-san, would you like to dance?" Shinichi 
asked Lala as she stood, watching everyone.  

	She half-jumped out of her skin.  "Kobayashi-san," 
she said.  "Sure."  Kobayashi was a gentleman; he talked 
too much about baseball, but Lala otherwise approved of 
him.  And watching Karen dance was slowly making her 
crazy.

	They danced quietly for a little while, both skilled at 
what they were doing, and then he said, "I understand you'll 
sing tomorrow?"

	"Yes," she said.  "I warn you it is not my strong 
point."

	"Me neither," Shinichi said, twirling her around, then 
pulling her in close.  "It's a gangster theme, right?"

	"Yes," Lala said.  "Wear a suit if you can."

	"That should go better than this," Shinichi said, 
looking around.  Some of the older guests had begun to 
dance once Mrs. Sawachika went out on the dance floor, 
but most just looked confused.

	"So would a riot, but little chance of that," she said 
wistfully.

	Dogs howled in the distance.  

	"My luck may turn," Lala said thoughtfully.

	Shinichi hoped not.

****************

	"But what is the tea for?" Harima asked again.

	"Throwing.  In the harbor," Osaka said patiently.

	The dogs and the Indians had rendezvoused together 
and were ready to move in and launch their attack.  Once 
they reached the destination.  Which was going slowly with 
the need to haul so many kegs of tea.  

	"I don't think there's a harbor there," Harima said.

	"There's a dock and a fjord and another dock, ergo, 
harbor," Osaka said.

	Harima blinked.  "Really?"  He didn't remember any 
of that.

	"The East India Company will never know what hit 
them!" Osaka crowed.

	Something like that, anyway, Harima thought.

***************

	Karen lurked by the drink bar, watching Harry dance 
with Lala and told herself to not be jealous.  Just because 
they looked good together was no reason to worry about it, 
even if half the women here had asked him to dance with 
them.  

	"Come and dance with me," Fuyuki said to her, 
startling her.

	"I...you want to?" Karen asked.

	"Sure," he said, leading her out onto the floor.

	Fuyuki was no great dancer, but he wasn't terrible 
either.  "Gonna watch any of the videos?" he asked.  "I'm 
going to catch Doujibiron vs. Mecha-Tokugawa later, as I 
haven't seen it yet."

	"Well, maybe," Karen said.  If she'd still been seeing 
Imadori...but she wasn't.  So she didn't have to.  "I've been 
thinking about trying the pachinko to get something for my 
brother."

	Fuyuki smiled at her warmly.  "That's a good sister," 
he said, steering her to the left of a somewhat nervous 
looking pair of brunettes who were trying to dance to the 
mecha-music.

	"You knew about my brother?" Karen asked in 
surprise.

	"Imadori mentions it a lot.  Or he did," Fuyuki said.

	Karen sighed.

	"Sorry, I won't mention him..."

	He cut off as they saw Imadori dancing towards them 
with some businesswoman, who looked slightly non-
plussed.  "He's coming."

	"Don't let him have me," Karen mumbled.

	What followed was rather like a dogfight in the skies, 
two couples bobbing and weaving through the crowd of 
dancers as Imadori tried to intercept Karen.  They began 
speeding up, which further stirred the cloud of dancers into 
more activity as people got shoved aside and had to dodge 
each other.

	Fuyuki finally solved the crisis by steering close to 
Lala.  When Imadori brushed by her, she grabbed him for 
pounding into the ground, enabling Fuyuki and Karen to 
escape.

	Karen winced at the beating, then sighed and shook 
her head.  

	"Let it go," Fuyuki said softly.  

	She wished it was that easy.

*************


	Imadori walked towards the sound of a door being 
pounded on and found Miki, Kasumi, and Jenny trying to 
get into one of the bathrooms, which seemed to be locked.  
"Ladies, ladies, there's several other bathrooms if your need 
is urgent," he said smoothly.

	Then he heard the moaning noises coming from 
inside.  "Is that...?"

	"Dammit, they're having a giant man-orgy without us 
being able to watch!" Jenny said.  "Can't you unlock this?"

	"What?" Imadori said.  He was pretty sure he'd 
imagined the whole statement.

	"Giant.  Man.  Orgy," Miki said urgently.

	"There's an orgy by giants in there?" Imadori asked.  
How much have they had to drink?  

	"No!  Our boyfriends are having a giant orgy inside!"

	"Oooooh, Nara..."  It was a man's voice...was it Hanai?

	Imadori's brain began painting images; he could feel 
his braincells committing suicide one by one to escape.  He 
backed up in case it was infectious.  "I can't let them out!  
They might infect the other guests!"

	"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jenny said.

	"Look, let them orgy in peace," Imadori said.  "I'll 
quarantine the room and..."

	"What if people need to go?" Miki asked.  "There's not 
THAT many bathrooms, and everyone is drinking so 
much..."

	Imadori frowned.  "There's only one solution to this, 
then.  I'll be back."

	He ran quickly and found Mikoto, who was dancing 
with some businessman and looking bored.  "Doujibiron 
Blue!  You're needed to defend the earth from Yaoi!"  He 
took her by the hand and dragged her off while the 
businessman looked utterly confused.

	"Say what?" Mikoto asked as she was dragged.

	"It's a standoff between your fellow Rangers and the 
forces of Yaoi boyfriends who have sealed themselves into 
a bathroom.  Clearly the evil Queen has infected them," 
Imadori said.  His mind was drifting off into fantasyland as 
pieces of it went dormant or died to protect him from yaoi 
imagery in his head.  

	"Eri's mother turned our boyfriends gay?" Mikoto 
asked in confusion.

	"You're not supposed to know that yet, as this is 
clearly before episode 79," Imadori said, as if even a child 
would know that.  Whatever 'that' was.  "That's when she 
turns Dr. Tori into Princess Pickle Pepper, you know.  Man, 
did everyone get their ass kicked."

	Now Mikoto felt her brain trying to flee this 
conversation.  "I know less than when we started."

	"Knowing you don't know, that's the beginning 
of...something...not knowing?  No, that's not known," 
Imadori mumbled.

	Miki, still in her Green Ranger uniform, grabbed 
Mikoto on her arrival.  "Blue Ranger, our boyfriends are 
doing the Yaoi without us being able to watch!  You've got 
to break this door down so..."

	"Oooh...Masahiro..." Nara howled.

	Mikoto wondered, idly, if Akira would cry, laugh, or 
get turned on by this.  This can't be real, she thought.  Easy 
way to test, though...

	She walked over to Miki.  "Oh no!" she said loudly.  
"All this yaoi has overwhelmed my mind, and I can only 
turn to the Green Ranger, Miki-san, for comfort!  I must 
kiss her, since our boyfriends have abandoned us!"

	"Go!  Go!  KISS FOR JUSTICE!" Imadori shouted.

	Kasumi said, "..."

	Jenny grinned.  "Oh, Kasumi, I burn for you..."

	"You...what..." Kasumi said, not getting it.

	Mikoto swept Miki into an embrace and leaned 
towards her.  Miki's eyes widened, then shut, and she 
nervously leaned towards Mikoto.

	And then Imadori saw the door open just enough for 
four male heads to peer out; he could see they were all 
dressed, and clearly had been faking it.  Miko-chin, you're a 
genius, he thought.  So smart and huge breasts...what a 
wonderful woman.  

	Imadori sprung forward and grabbed the door and 
yanked it open.  "So much for boyfriend yaoi, I see," he 
said as the four men tumbled to the ground, piled on each 
other.

	Akira now took a photo of everyone, looking amused.  
"You going to finish kissing Miki-san, Mikoto-san?"

	Miki and Mikoto jumped away from each other, 
looking embarrassed as their boyfriends peeled themselves 
off the floor.

	"Hey, where is my Shinichi?" Kasumi asked.

	"Probably telling someone too much about baseball," 
Jenny said.

***********
	
	"So father DIVES for the ball and takes it right 
between the eyes and falls over.  I thought he was dead," 
Lala said, laughing.

	She and Shinichi were out on the porch, looking out at 
the stars and the forest and drinking cocktails.  "Did he get 
the ball?"

	"This guy tried to peel it out of father's hand while he 
was down, but Father grabbed him and bodyslammed him," 
Lala said, smiling as the dog howls grew nearer.

	"Man has his priorities straight," Shinichi said.  "Does 
he still have it?  Did he get it autographed?"  He sounded 
envious.

	"I expect he sold it to get beer money," Lala said, 
frowning.  

	"Oh," Shinichi said, a little subdued.

	His phone rang and he blinked.  "Hold on, it's Dad."

	He got on the phone.  "Hey, Dad, what's up?"

	"Is that you flirting with some dark-skinned woman?" 
his father asked.

	"..."

	"Your silence seems to indicate guilt.  You have a 
girlfriend, you know," his father continued.

	"I'm not hitting on her!  We're just being friendly!" 
Shinichi said into the phone.

	Lala blinked.  "Is that Kasumi-san?"

	"I know she's a looker, son, but you have to hold fast!" 
Kobayashi-san said.

	"Dad, are you abusing police equipment to spy on me 
again?" Shinichi asked, aggravated.

	"I'm not spying on YOU.  You just happened to cross 
my field of vision.  The Old Man thinks Lupin III is likely 
to show up."  His father had a sound of despair.

	"Oh jeez, didn't he think Lupin was hiding in my 
closet that one time?" Shinichi asked.

	"So where is your girlfriend?"

	"Trying to see gay people or something," Shinichi 
said.

	There was a pause.

	"Lupin III?" Lala asked.  "My father met him once.  
He was after El Gato Muerte's trophies."

	Kobayashi-san said, "Okay, in that case, you're 
allowed to go flirt with some foreigner.  Just stay out of 
trouble and try to not look like any of Lupin's gang, okay?"

	"I'll try," Shinichi said.  

	"Father likes to claim the woman had a crush on 
him...Lupin's girlfriend, that is.  But I incline to think he 
probably imagined it," Lala said, shaking her head.

	"So what's her name, anyway?" Kobayashi-san asked.

	"Gonzales Lala," Shinichi said.

	Lala looked curious.

	There was a silence, and then...  "She's clean," 
Kobayashi-san said.

	"..."

	It's not easy being a cop's son.

***************
	
	Osaka checked the map.  "Okay, we turn left here."

	"Let me see that," Harima said, taking it.  "Hey, you're 
holding it upside down!"

	"I was afraid I'd tear the top some more, since it's 
already damaged," Osaka said.

	We may end up having to attack Harima's own party 
at this rate, Kagura thought.

**************

	Umino kept an eye on Yukari, who was dancing with 
Umino's cousin Lars, who was half-Swedish, half-Japanese.  
Yukari seemed to be charming him tremendously; Umino 
hoped she wasn't going to sell him some line of goods.  
Though she really seemed dedicated to Imadori in her own 
warped way.  

	Umino himself was dancing with Karen, while her 
boyfriend was dancing with Nyamo.  "You sing very well," 
he told her.

	She blushed a little.  "You flatter me."

	"Will you be performing at one of the parties?" Umino 
asked.  

	Lars was smiling very broadly.  Why?  Maybe I'm just 
paranoid, Umino thought.  And where is Imadori?

	"Tomorrow morning," Karen said.

	"I'll have to attend," he said.  To run herd on Yukari.  
At least this time, she was too busy watching videos and 
dancing to get drunk off her ass.  Though Imadori had 
provided a lot of non-alcoholic drinks with odd names like 
'Mimbo Juice', which pleased Umino, who wasn't much of 
a drinker.  Mimbo juice had been pretty good, though he 
didn't like the aftertaste, which was too much like 
pineapple, in his opinion.

	Karen laughed a little nervously.  "You flatter me."

	"Besides, my girlfriend likes to get up early and 
exercise, so I'll be up anyway," Umino said.

	"She's very pretty," Karen said.

	"I agree," Umino said.  "Just don't mention bread 
around her."

	"Bread?" Karen asked.

	"Best you not know."

	The music came to an end, and now Imadori swept 
down and hauled off Yukari.  Umino said his goodbyes to 
Karen, consulted with Nyamo, and slipped off to follow 
her.

*************

	Usagi was half-drowsing on the porch swing, while 
everyone else ate and talked; Ami, Makoto, Rei, and Mai 
were playing gin rummy as well.  "Stupid boyfriend," 
Usagi mumbled.

	"Why is he stupid?" Tougo asked curiously.

	"Dumped me again," she mumbled.

	"Really?" Tougo asked.

	"You shouldn't pry," Mai told him, studying her hand 
and discarding the two of hearts.  Her draw gave her the 
useless five of clubs.  

	"Future self sent him dreams again...going to kill 
future self of him..." Usagi mumbled.  

	"Afraid of commitment?" Tougo asked.  

	"Some guys are like that," Minako said, sitting on the 
porch rail, drinking a beer.

	"You shouldn't be drinking beer at your age," her 
mother shouted from the kitchen.  "Especially not when 
you're on the porch rail!"

	"I can handle it!" Minako said, waving her beer for 
emphasis, which caused her to begin to tumble backwards 
off it.  

	Tougo lashed out and caught her by the foot; she 
ended up dumping all her beer into the bushes down at 
ground level.  "Your mother knows you well."

	"Too well," Minako mumbled.

	"You should play with us, Tougo-san," Makoto said to 
Tougo.

	"Maybe the next game," he said, watching the beach 
and nearby countryside, as he hauled Minako back up.

	"Keeping watch for danger?" Mai teased him.

	"Danger?" Rei said a little warily.

	Mrs. Aino came out with a plate of cookies.  "Don't 
tell anyone, but most of Mai's class was kidnapped to 
another world recently, though they got back okay."

	"Aino-sensei, that's supposed to be a school secret!" 
Mai said.

	"Really?" Ami said.  

	"Well," Makoto said, looking at Mai with a little more 
respect.  "Did you get any neat powers out of it?"

	"They got kidnapped without me," Mai said, sighing.  
"I..."

	"Mai got a..." Mrs. Aino began.

	Mai instinctively covered Aino-sensei's mouth.  "I lost 
my class president position," she said, sighing.  Best to be 
honest.  "Which we came to Hawaii to FORGET about."

	"Okay," Aino-sensei said amiably, as if used to being 
suppressed by children.  "Their homeroom teacher brought 
back a girlfriend from the other world, though."

	Mai's eyes widened.  "Oh, she's from the other 
world?"

	"Cool, cross-dimensional romance!" Minako said, 
hearts in her eyes.

	Usagi grumbled.

	"It's not surprising he had to get a girlfriend from 
another world," Tougo said.

	"TOUGO!" Mai said.  "One more word and you get to 
be..."

	Tougo frantically made 'SSSSTTTOOOPPP!!!!' 
gestures.

	Mai stopped.  "You get to do the special thing."

	"Special as in..."

	"Yes."  Mai moved her fingers by her ears to give 
them points, sort of.

	Minako said, "Okay, NOW I'm curious.  Is this some 
special ear trick?"

	"Yes," Tougo said.  "Mai goes absolutely crazy for it."

	"You shouldn't have to wait for a punishment to do it 
for her, then," Minako said, waggling a finger.

	"You see, she doesn't scrub behind her ears enough 
and..."  Tougo couldn't help grinning as he lied.

	Tougo was very surprised at how easily Mai could 
knock him over the railing with a paper fan.

****************

	

****************

	Akira's mother danced with Eri's father; she could see 
her daughter dancing with Nara and many of her daughter's 
friends dancing with their boyfriends as well.  Eri was 
dancing with one of her many uncles, and looked a little 
forlorn.  Akira's mother felt a touch sorry for her, but only a 
touch.  Such is the price of inherited wealth.

	On the other hand, Eri seemed less useless than many 
heiresses, so Akira's mother gave her a little more credit 
than she might have.

	She heard the dogs howl again, closer, and quickly 
computed things in her head.  Clearly, Harima and the 
Mihama gang were leading a horde of dogs through the 
forest in order to attack the party, thus disrupting Imadori's 
attempt and advancing his own chances, except, of course, 
that this would provoke Imadori to some hideous act of 
revenge.  

	On the other hand, surely Imadori would have tried to 
sabotage Harima's party.  The question was whether Eri's 
parents, who she couldn't pretend to know well, were going 
to approve or disapprove sabotage.  "I understand there is a 
contest for your daughter's hand."

	"Three people are competing, yes," he said.  "It was 
Ami's idea."

	She tried to read his voice, but he was good at hiding 
his emotions.  She had to approve of that, even if it made 
her job harder.  "No holds barred?"

	"There had better not be any death or calling in the 
mafia or the yakuza or air strikes," he said.  "That being 
said, I expect they will all try to wreck havoc on each 
other."

	She nodded.  "My daughter has chosen to aid the 
Harima boy.  Do you know much about him?  I only met 
him for the first time today."

	"He's basically a useless delinquent punk with no 
money, no family, no prospects," Mr. Sawachika said.  
"Though he does have a talent for art and a strange knack 
for getting women to fall for him.  And I will admit he 
fights extremely well.  If he's smart, he'll become a 
bodyguard, as he might well be suited for that."
	
	"He's a playboy?" Akira's mother asked, frowning.  

	"Well, so far as I can tell, he's trying to marry our 
daughter while dating the younger Tsukamoto girl and the 
Mihama heiress pretty clearly has a crush on him, as she's 
been funding him," Mr. Sawachika said.  

	Akira's mother frowned deeply at that.  "Isn't the 
younger Tsukamoto girl also after your daughter, though?"

	Mr. Sawachika dipped Akira's mother low as they 
darted around another couple, then spun them both around, 
slowly pulling her up.  She smiled at that a bit.  "My guess 
is she is trying to keep her boyfriend from winning.  Don't 
ask me how she thinks, as I can't pretend to really 
understand, though."

	This would bear some investigation.

***************

	Imadori checked his watch and frowned.  "Mother is 
supposed to be here by now."

	"She is?" Buddha asked.

	"I invited her; this is a good chance for her to meet 
with Eri-chan's parents and she'd be mad if I threw a huge 
party and didn't invite her.  But she's not answering her 
phone."  He began to pace.

	"Well, perhaps we should go see if we can spot 
anything on the news or news radio," Buddha said.

	Imadori winced.  "We'd better.  Come on."

**************

	"FASTER!" Zenigata demanded.

	"This thing doesn't go over 140, sir!" Detective 
Kobayashi said.

	"There's only one person who drives like that!" 
Inspector Zenigata said.

	Kobayashi fought the urge to cry.  "Lupin, right?"

	"What are you, stupid?  He's a thief, not a race car 
driver.  This has to be SPEED RACER!  Every cop on 
Earth DREAMS of busting that fool for speeding in his 
damn Mach 5!  WE WILL CATCH HIM!"  Zenigata 
leaned out the window with a bullhorn, shouting back to 
the other cards, "FORMATION 3!  APPREHEND SPEED 
RACER!"

	Mrs. Imadori took a corner at 150 and nearly flipped 
over.  Damn mountain roads, she thought.  I hate driving up 
here.  Stupid cops.  Stupid inadequate maps.  Sorry, honey, 
going to be late.

****************

	Tani drowsed with everyone else, half-watching some 
idol contest on TV and half-napping.  He and Yuri and Tae 
were on the couch.  Tae had an arm around him and was 
leaning back against the couch back next to him, while 
Yuri slept on the couch, her head on Tani's lap.  Kimura-
sensei was the only person fully awake, watching the idols 
with a maniacal gleam in his eye, while his wife held his 
hand and sat in a plush chair next to his, their daughter 
asleep on her lap, while she drowsed.  Mrs. Anegasaki sat 
on the other couch with her husband, typing furiously as he 
drowsed, head on her shoulder, smoking yet another 
cigarette; every so often a cold breeze blew in the nearby 
open window, jolting everyone awake.

	He was beginning to realize that after a few days of 
this, he would probably never want to leave.  He glanced 
over at Tae and she smiled at him, and he then turned to the 
TV.

	The announcer said to the girl who had just finished, 
"Do you wish to thank anyone, Sana-chan?"

	"I want to thank my big rival Aino Minako for being 
too lazy to submit her entry form in time so I don't have to 
look at her ugly face!  And I want to thank my PIMP!" the 
hyper girl on the screen shouted.

	He laughed softly, then glanced over at Kimura.  "You 
like song contests?"

	"I am mesmerized by the vision of youth," he said, jaw 
agape.

	"I see," Tani mumbled, wishing he had not asked as 
Kimura launched into a long paean to the glories of youth.

****************

	Yoshidayama contemplated how to get Keiichi away 
from Jenny so he could steal her away to come watch one 
of the videos with him.  Violence wouldn't suit the party.  
Which meant...

	AHAH!  He went and found Ishiyama.  "Can you go 
tell Matano-san there's a call for him on the yellow 
courtesy phone?  I have to go make sure that video room 3 
has the right videos in it."

	Ishiyama nodded and headed off, soon finding Keiichi 
and leading him off.  Yoshidayama now headed towards 
Jenny; he knew he would have to strike QUICKLY.

	"Yo," he said as he came up to Jenny as she stood at 
the drink bar, getting some chocolate chip cookies and a 
glass of Mountain Dew.  

	"Yo," she said.  "Having fun?"

	"Yeah," he said.  "One of the best eps is about to start 
in Video 2.  You should go see it."

	She looked at him with a look which suddenly made 
him feel rather like he'd been pinned down onto a slide and 
was about to be dissected.  Then she said, "You're not 
trying to get me off into some dark place to seduce me, are 
you?"

	"Of course not," he said.

	"So what makes it so good?"

	He racked his brain.  "It's the 70s trucker movie 
parody episode, where Hitomi has to keep her fellow cops 
from successfully chasing down Ami's truck, which is full 
of smuggled beer, which unknown to her, the aliens have 
laid monster eggs in.  Lots of lingo and cool driving and 
explosions, followed by the first appearance of Beer-a-
mon.  And you are wearing Ami's Dojibiron costume, so..."

	She laughed.  "That sounds amusingly fucked up.  
Let's go."

	They started towards the video room, only to have 
Jenny pull Kasumi out of dancing and tell her, "Can you go 
find Keiichi and tell him I'm going to be in Video Room 
2?"

	"But...dancing..."

	"Please?" Jenny begged.

	Kasumi glanced at Yoshidayama, frowned, then 
nodded.  "I'll do that."

	Dammit, Yoshidayama thought.  He'll find me and kill 
me before I have time for seduction.

	I'll just have to work FAST.

******************

	Osaka whipped out a flare gun and fired it into the air.  
"There, now someone will find us soon."

	"We don't want to be found, we want to stop being 
lost!" Kagura protested.

	"Trust the dogs, they know what they're doing," 
Harima said.  

	He hoped.

	"Can you ask Tadakichi if there's a problem?" Chiyo 
asked.

	"Is everything alright?" he asked.

	"We keep scenting tasty rabbits all over and not 
finding any," Tadakichi said.

	"That's just from the rabbit attack the other day.  Don't 
mind it," Harima said.

	The dogs changed course now, and Harima could spot 
the lodge in the distance soon afterwards.  "Alright," he 
said.  "It's nearly showtime."

***************
	
	"Yeah, fathers are the biggest idiots in the universe," 
Shinichi said to Lala; they'd gone back inside to get fresh 
drinks.  "Man, where is Kasumi," he mumbled.

	Lala looked around.  "Not dancing."

	He scratched his head.  "Well, she'll find me, when 
she's ready, I guess."

	"I love Father, but he makes me insane a lot; he's too 
irresponsible," Lala said.  

	"Father is too responsible and hard-working for his 
own good," Shinichi said.  "Like working on New Years' 
Eve."

	"I wish my father was like that," Lala said.

	"I wish mine was more laid back," Shinichi said.

	"I wish mine wouldn't engage me to Imadori," Eri said 
from behind them.  "But wishes and horses."

	Shinichi and Lala both jumped.   "Sawachika-san," 
Lala said.  "Were you there long?"

	"I just finished a dance, and now I'm going to go hide 
from that idiot a while," Eri said.

	"I think he went to one of the video rooms with some 
people," Shinichi said.

	"I know where to NOT go, then."

**************

	"He is a good boy at heart, Mother," Akira said to her 
mother.

	"He sounded pretty terrible from what Mr. Sawachika 
said," her mother told her.

	They stood near the drink bar; Akira had a mug of tea, 
while her mother had a screwdriver.  

	"Kenji-kun is a man trying to change himself into 
something new and better.  It's commendable," Akira said.  
"He certainly has flaws, but so does everyone."

	Her mother studied her carefully.  "I'm surprised you 
like him."

	"So am I.  But despite his frequent teenage boy 
idiocy," Akira said, "He is brave and loyal and he loves Eri 
very much.  He's just too much a teenage boy to be able to 
articulate it smoothly."  She sipped her tea impassively.

	"He has another girlfriend," Mrs. Takano said firmly.

	"It's a long and messy story, and she's after Eri-chan as 
well," Akira said.

	"Very messy, I take it."

	"Yes.  Trust me, I'll handle it, mother," Akira said.

	" Just be careful.  The boy is handsome, but you 
shouldn't let it cloud your thinking," her mother said.  "That 
can get you killed."  She sighed.

	"Mother, I do not have a crush on Kenji.  Kentaro is 
my boyfriend and he's all I need," Akira said firmly.

	Her mother smiled at her in the infuriating way of 
mothers.  "I see."

	"Don't 'I see' me," Akira said, taking a large swig of 
her tea.  The last thing I need is more idiocy in my head.

	"Of course not," Akira's mother said.  "Well, I have 
contacts to make and the rich to fleece, so..."

	"Mother, please don't rob this party, even if it's 
Imadori's," Akira said firmly.

	Mrs. Takano laughed.  "Just teasing you, dear."  She 
ruffled Akira's hair and headed off, leaving Akira feeling 
flustered.  Mother always gets under my skin, she thought.  
And now she's likely to get into trouble...

**************

	"I'm sure that if there ARE monsters, they're too busy 
celebrating New Years to bother us," Aino-sensei said.

	"So long as no one picked up any cursed tiki idols, 
anyway," Tougo said, then laughed.  No one else got it.

	"I'm pretty sure this one isn't cursed," Minako said, 
opening her purse and pulling out a small wooden tiki idol.  
"They'd lose their license if they sold cursed things, right?"

	Tougo backed away from it, just in case.

	"Looks harmless to me," Usagi said, picking it up and 
juggling it.

	Mai could feel the hairs on her arms standing up.  Or 
trying; she kept her arms shaved, so there wasn't much to 
stand up.  But it was TRYING.  She avoided touching the 
idol as well.

	Rei studied it.  "Minako."

	"Yes?"

	"Turn it over."

	Minako flipped it over; the bottom had a warning 
sticker 'Warning:  This Tiki Idol was dug out of an ancient 
Hawaiian burial ground and may attract evil spirits.  Do not 
get idol wet after midnight.'  "..."

	"The problem with warnings like that is that it's 
always after SOME midnight," Tougo said.

	"Surely the steady gunfire in the streets will scare 
them off, right?" Minako asked, laughing nervously.

	"That's people setting off fireworks," Tougo said.  
"Not a riot."  Pause.  "I think."

	"Well, if that thing had REAL evil spirits in it, we'd 
have already been attacked by them, right?" Makoto asked.  

	"Maybe they want to wait until after midnight here, 
for the Witching Hour," Ami speculated.

	"Someone probably just put that on as a gag," Mai 
said, rubbing her arms.

	"Are you cold?" Ami asked.  "The night air is getting 
cool."

	"No, just kind of goose-pimp..."  Mai glanced off 
across the beach.  "Is there some sort of local custom of 
people dressing up like Tiki idols and rising out of the sea 
to celebrate New Years Eve?"

	"No, not at all," Aino-sensei said, staring at the things.  
"Oh dear."

	Four ten foot tall things which resembled giant-sized 
Tiki Idols were rising up out of the water and approaching 
the shore, striding towards the beach house.

	The two cats which had been sleeping under the porch 
now woke up and sprang up onto the railing.  Mai's eyes 
widened as she saw one of them was the talking black cat.

	Usagi yawned, then looked at the things.  "Well, I 
could use something to take out my frustration on."

	Tougo looked curiously at Usagi.  "You propose to 
fight ancient angry Tiki gods?"

	"I...uh...ahaha," Usagi laughed.  How are we going to 
change without Minako's mother and our guests finding 
out?, she asked herself, and got no answer.

	"Run!" Makoto said, grabbing Tougo and dragging 
him into the house.  

	"Hey, my boyfriend!" Mai shouted.  "Bring him 
back!"

	The Tiki Gods were drawing closer, closer...

	The black cat chose this moment to stumble into the 
lighter fluid.  Massive amounts poured onto the still hot 
coals, and smoke billowed over EVERYTHING. 

	Then the cat whispered to Mai, "Transform and hold it 
while I get help."

	Mai felt her brain whirl.  Trans...oh.  She had her 
Pretty Princess costume with her...  She licked her lips 
nervously and hoped the cat knew what it was doing.  But 
who else here had any chance of slowing down the Tiki 
Gods long enough for the cops or the Sailor Senshi or 
someone else to show up?

	It was only her.  She grabbed her handbag and 
extracted several things, then swiftly changed into the 
costume with the expertise at such things she had gained 
under Tougo's mentoring.  "Charm up, my Mai Dream," 
she whispered to herself, amused and terrified at the same 
time.  She snapped her staff into place, then grabbed the 
bottle of mayonnaise.  

	"Pretty Princess Shitatsuka Dansu is here to save the 
day!" Pretty Princess Mai shouted as she ran out of the 
smoke at blazing speed towards the Tiki Gods (or whatever 
they were.)  She waved her staff over her head, watching it 
glow; she guessed Yuuki and Sagano must have put a 
motion sensor in it to make it shine lights when waved.  
"TASTE MY MAYONNAISE OF DESTRUCTION!"  

	As the four Tiki Gods turned to face her in all their 
sodden, wooden glory, she hurled the bottle at the face of 
one of them.  It exploded like a hand grenade, throwing 
flaming mayonnaise all over her target and some of it onto 
two of the others, who ponderously stopped, dropped and 
rolled, howling in rage.  

	The last one charged at her, hands shrouded in 
darkness; she could feel the chill as it drew closer.  She 
jumped out of the way of the attack, and to her surprise 
easily soared over the creature, though it was ten feet tall.

	Her eyes widened as she landed, kicking up sand, then 
she dropped into a crouch as it turned and charged at her.  
The one she'd set on fire had fled into the ocean water, 
while the other two were getting up, having doused their 
flames.  

	She could hear everyone running around behind her on 
the deck, yelling about fire.  Usagi had somehow stumbled 
over the railing and landed headfirst in the sand like an 
ostrich; the white cat was clumsily trying to help her get 
loose, while the black cat had now dragged a bag full of 
condiments out onto the beach and was trying to bring it to 
Mai.

	But the least hurt Tiki was between her and the cat.  
Did she dare to jump over it?  She wasn't sure if she had 
really made such a super leap.  Or...yes, this would be 
safer...sort of.

	She charged at the Tiki God, staff held high over her 
head like a charging samurai warrior.  "I won't let you have 
them!" she shouted.

	As it drew close, she suddenly dropped low and turned 
her staff into a ram, shoving it into the thing's groin.  There 
was a pulse of light from the end of the staff and a great cry 
of pain and it fell down.  She leaped over it easily now and 
landed by the bag of condiments.  She grabbed a squeeze 
bottle of ketchup in one hand and mustard in the other, 
tucking her staff into her belt.

	The one Tiki God rolled around clutching his groin, 
while now two more charged at Pretty Princess Mai.  "Are 
you ready to dance with me?" Pretty Princess Mai shouted.  
She was getting into this now.  Even if she didn't 
understand it.

	The Tiki Gods howled something Mai couldn't 
understand and moved to flank her, charging.  Pretty 
Princess Mai leaped straight up, flipping in the air and 
hosing them both down with ketchup and mustard.  They 
crashed into each other, smearing the stuff all over 
themselves and caking it with sand as they fell.  

	Pretty Princess Mai dropped the bottles, whipped out 
her staff and shouted, "CONDIMENTS IGNITE!"  She 
flipped back to the bag as her two foes burst into flames 
and ran off into the ocean to try and douse themselves, 
passing out and washing out to sea with the first one.

	The last one got up, even as Pretty Princess Mai hefted 
the tobasco sauce.  "Get back!  I've got Tobasco and I'm 
NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!"

	It gave a great cry of rage and charged at her and she 
hit it right in the groin with the bottle.  
"CONDIMENTS...IGNITE!"

	FWAKOOM!

	She expected people in Japan could hear the thing 
scream as it was hurled on fire into the water.

	She turned and saw the smoke was clearing on the 
porch.  Minako was trying to put out the fire with water; 
Mrs. Aino had vanished into the house or something; Rei 
was trying to get Usagi's head out of the sand with the 
white cat's help, and Ami had vanished, along with Tougo 
and Makoto.

	But Sailor Mercury was on the roof, observing the 
fight through a crystal visor and typing into her laptop.  
"Nice job there," she said.

	Pretty Princess Mai wondered if she'd just been sitting 
there the whole time watching.  

	Then she heard a fwakoom at sea and saw a huge 
waterspout rise up and swallow the drifting Tiki Gods.  
They did not surface again.

	Note to self, don't piss off Mercury, Mai thought.  

	"Hello there!" Pretty Princess Mai said in English, 
hoping she didn't sound TOO Japanese.  After all, there 
weren't too many other Japanese people around here and 
secret identities, even if just invented, had to be preserved.  
"I'm afraid I must be going!  Thanks for the loan of the 
condiments!"

	"No, wait!" Mercury said as Pretty Princess Mai took 
off at high speed.  She slipped around the house, then 
quickly changed back into her regular clothing, taking her 
staff apart and stashing it in the bag.  This would be so 
much easier if I had a henshin item, Mai thought.  

	She was about to climb in a back window so she could 
pretend she'd run and hid inside when the black cat walked 
up to her.  "You have to do it all manually?" the cat asked.

	"I didn't get a henshin item with this, no," Mai said.  
"Do they know you can talk?"

	"I don't talk in public," the cat said.  "My name is 
Luna."

	"You have the same..."

	"I know," Luna said, pawing her crescent moon.  
"Here, let me give you something."  She did a backflip and 
a coral compact which resembled a red clam appeared.  
"Pose in the mirror wearing your costume, tell it 'store' and 
it'll store the costume, and then you can use the compact to 
henshin yourself."

	"Oooh," she said.  This could have uses.  "This is very 
kind of you."

	"You just saved my...friends from being hurt," Luna 
said.  "We're even."

	"Can you help me cover my cover story?"

	"Sure.  You can pretend you ran after me to keep me 
from running into danger, and now you're bringing me 
back."  Luna jumped into Mai's arms.

	Mai wondered again how she managed to do all that 
stuff.  But there was no way to get an answer, so she'd just 
take it as a break of luck, for now, anyway, and call Sagano 
later.

****************

	Nara's phone rang.  "Hello?"   He'd been dancing, but 
he'd stopped to get a drink.

	Nara's mother said, "Hello, dear.  We made it to our 
hotel."

	"Hotel?" he asked in confusion.

	"I think we're a few miles away from you; we'll be at 
the party in the morning without any trouble," she said.  
"It's just your father and I, but I think Juri and Alphonse 
may be following us."

	So fucked, Nara thought.  "Just them?"

	"Maybe just them."

	"I...uh..."  How had they even gotten news of the 
parties?  "You know it's a gangster theme, right?"

	"Yes," Nara's mother said.  "We're so looking 
forwards to meeting your friend Sawachika's parents."  
Nara knew that tone of voice.  It was the sign that 
devastation would soon fall upon all the lands of Middle-
Earth.  

	And Japan too.

	"Of course you are," Nara mumbled.  "I'll see you in 
the morning, Mother."
	
	"We even have costumes.  We're going to be two of 
the infamous bandits, the Mamas and the Papas," Nara's 
mother said.

	Bandits?  He had the vague idea they were a band.  
"That's nice."

	"Are you being non-committal because you're in bed 
with Akira-chan and her busty friend, dear?" Nara's mother 
asked.

	"No, I'm at a New Years' Eve party with Akira-san," 
Nara said.  "Fully clothed."

	"Oh," his mother sounded disappointed.  "I know 
Akira-san has a thing for that girl's boyfriend and..."

	"SAY WHAT?" Nara said.  How the hell did she 
know that?

	"Oooh, I bluffed you into admitting it," his mother 
said.

	"Oops, I just dropped my phone in the punch bowl!" 
Nara said, then shut it off.  This was bad.  This could be 
VERY bad.  

****************

	Imadori cocked his head.  Why do I have this bad 
feeling, he asked himself.

	"So why is the yellow ranger fighting this monkey?" 
Yukari whispered into his ears.

	"He stole her car keys, being jealous he hasn't been on 
TV since the 1970s," Imadori said.

	Buddha said, "Technically, BJ and the Bear lasted into 
the early eighties."

	"And why is the monkey winning?" Yukari asked.

	Imadori said, "He's had a monster seed put in him."

	By now, his memory of the moment of doom feeling 
had quietly faded away.

****************

	Tarakawa could feel the hairs on his arm standing up.  
He cocked his head, but he couldn't hear anything beyond 
the normal party noises.  Just the dogs, but they weren't 
close enough to be a problem.  Not yet, anyway.  

	So why...

	He paused and turned in a circle, looking carefully.

	As he did so, he spotted a woman he knew at the drink 
bar, looking at him.  What's she doing here, he wondered.  
He hadn't seen her in several years.  

	She made a 'come hither' gesture, so he did, knowing 
it was unwise to ignore her.

	"Miss Spider," he said, "How are you today?"

	She looked more weathered than he remembered; 
given she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish the 
last he'd known her, he wasn't surprised.  He'd drunk too 
much for much of his own life; he knew the signs.  Even 
after you got off it, the damage remained.  

	"I am fine," she said.  "How is your business coming 
along?"

	"Very well, thanks to you and the man you 
recommended to me, though he never has had your skills."

	"Few do," she said, smiling.  "But I was only there 
briefly; you give me too much credit."

	"There are critical times which must be seized," he 
said.  "You came along at one.  I trust the money has 
enabled you to live well?"

	"I live more modestly than I once did," she said, 
shaking her hair a little; her close-cropped brown hair 
shook gently.  There was something...

	He blinked.  Takano Akira was her DAUGHTER.  No 
wonder she was...well, well.  The resemblance was clear to 
him now that he had her here to remind him what she 
looked like.

	But he wasn't supposed to know that, he suspected.  
So he would say nothing for now.  Yes, he would definitely 
have to recruit the daughter...maybe both daughters.

	"Modesty is wise, though I fear I've never been very 
wise."

	They both laughed, almost in unison; he wondered if 
she was imitating him again.  That had always amused her.

	"So are you here for business or pleasure?" he asked.

	"Pleasure," she said.  "Though it's a rather unusual 
party."

	"It's what happens when teenage boys are given too 
much money and the influence of a major family behind 
them," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "Though it's remarkably well 
organized for what it is."

	She nodded.  "And the same for you?"

	"There's always some business in my pleasure," he 
told her.  "I goof off too easily if I don't make myself work.  
But they're using some of my machines, so I had to come."

	"Perhaps I shall try my luck," she said.

	"May I accompany you?" he asked.  "I never did get to 
see you play."

	She finished off her drink.  "Will I be taking you to the 
bank or the host-boy?"

	"The latter," he said.

	"Then come along.  We can revel in the misery of 
others together," she said.

	He laughed and took her arm.  "Lead on, fair lady."

	And they headed off to the Pachinko-room.

****************

	Yoshidayama grumbled.  First Keiichi showed up, 
then Buddha put him back to work.  How am I to unleash 
my unstoppable mack if I have to be a flunky?

	At least Harima isn't here, he thought.  I don't have to 
be HIS flunky.

****************

	Nara found Akira.  "My parents are coming," he said.

	Akira froze in place.  "They...coming..."

	"Somehow, they know about you...and Hanai...," Nara 
mumbled.

	"..."

	"I don't even know how they figured it out, unless 
they've been spying on us or something, but they didn't 
even know I was at a party and..."  Nara was beginning to 
spazz.

	Akira felt briefly the urge to completely unravel.  
"There's really only one choice."

	"Suicide?" Nara asked nervously.

	"Gather everyone we need to be vaguely sane and 
useful in the morning and get them out before your parents 
get here.  How soon are they coming?"

	"They may or may not come tonight, but they're 
coming in the morning," Nara said.  

	Akira stood silently a few seconds.  "Well, we will 
improvise.  I haven't lost yet.  Let's go find everyone."

	They set out.

****************

	Miss Spider was collecting the four model robots she'd 
won and was about to go for a fifth when the sound of the 
dogs grew louder.

	Miss Spider frowned.  "I fear there will be trouble."

	"Indeed?" he asked.  "Not of your making, I hope."  
Though dogs weren't her style.  He couldn't quite make out 
why they were so agitated, but it made him nervous.

	"Not at all," she said.

	"Well, I have to attend all three parties," he began.

	" 'Have to'," she said, smiling her crooked smile.

	"Well, I'm going to.  Shall we get some drinks, retreat 
to a safe point and watch?" he asked.

	She studied him, then nodded.  "My thoughts exactly.  
You may lead this time, Kenichi-san."

	He took her arm again, and they moved out.

****************

	"You don't smell the sausage because it's inside," 
Harima patiently explained to the dogs again.  "Just a little 
bit further, and you'll have all the sausage you can eat."

	Chiyo listened carefully, trying to listen to the replies 
of the dogs.  At times, she could almost make out their 
words.  But right now, she felt more in tune with Indians 
than dogs.  She wanted to hunt something.

	The dogs got in motion again, and Harima listened to 
the wind.  It sounded like they were watching a lot of loud 
television.  Something about fighting.  He could approve of 
that.  But how did it connect to sausage?

	"Hmm," Osaka said.  "We forgot something 
important."

	Harima looked around.  "I see dogs, I see us...our 
sled...what's missing?"

	"War paint.  Everyone will recognize you, and then 
the British will be able to arrest you, because even Samuel 
Adams won't be able to lie his way around so many 
witnesses when he claims you were hammered on beer in 
his basement the whole evening," Osaka said.

	"..." Kagura said.  

	Harima studied the warpaint.  He'd look like a 
barbarian.  Well, that could be cool.  And she did make 
sense; the last thing he needed was retaliation from Britain, 
and Eri's family was half-British.

	"Alright, disguise me."

	Osaka grinned evilly.  When she was done, his own 
mother wouldn't recognize him.

	Oh yeah.

*************

	Mai said, "Next time, don't use a Tiki God attack as an 
excuse to kidnap my boyfriend!"  She tried to stand up to 
Makoto, but it didn't work so well when Makoto loomed 
over her so much.

	"Now, honey, she was just trying to get us to safety," 
Tougo said, taking Mai's hand.

	"And you could have resis..."  Mai was cut off by 
Tougo kissing her.  

 	Most assembled said, "Ooooh," in response, while 
Makoto frowned and the cats drowsed.  Usagi also looked a 
little frustrated.

	Mai looked utterly kerfluffled.  

	Aino-sensei said, "See, isn't love in the open better 
than hiding it?"

	"Hiding it?" Minako asked.

	"Oh, they were class presidents of rival classes, having 
a secret, forbidden love.  It was like Romeo and Juliet," 
Mrs. Aino said, half-swooning from the romance of it all.

	"But we skipped the poison part," Tougo said.

	"Poison is over-rated," Mrs. Aino said.  "Minako's 
been trying to poison me for years."

	"My cooking is NOT poisonous!" Minako said, 
pouting.

	"It's almost time to count-down to midnight," Usagi 
said.  "Come on, let's do it!"

	They rushed to the porch to get ready; people were 
already shooting off fireworks in the sky.  

	But we must now cut backwards in time to much 
earlier when parties were in progress in Japan...

**************
	
	"I am NOT dressing up as...whatever exactly it is," Eri 
said to her parents, arms folded across her chest.

	"Now, dear, we're going to let you see the Harima boy 
tomorrow, so you have to be good tonight," Eri's mother 
said.  "You can do this much for your fiancee."

	Eri frowned.  "But it's a stupid costume."

	"I'm wearing something twenty times sillier, dear," her 
mother said.

	"Actually, it's closer than that; they're both evil queen 
costumes that show off your body and make your chest 
look bigger," her father said.  "Wherever Harima is hiding 
in this party, I bet he couldn't take his eyes off you in an 
outfit like that."

	Eri screwed her eyes up for a moment, then said 
tightly, "You do this sort of thing to your clients too, I bet."

	"Dear, we hold back because we love you.  If you 
were one of our customers, we'd have had you in the 
uniform from the start of the party and made you think it 
was your own idea," her mother said.

	Eri wished her mother wasn't right.  "Fine, I'll go 
change."  She took the costume and went.

	Henry looked over at Ami.  "So where is the Harima 
boy hiding?  I haven't seen him."

	"Even Nakamura can't find him," Ami said.  "I'm sure 
he must have come, so his disguise skills have clearly 
improved."

	"Well, we'll find him eventually.  He's not causing any 
trouble, so we'll just have to wait for him to show himself," 
Henry said.

	"I'm going to go to one of the video rooms; Kyousuke-
kun insists it's key I see this episode that's coming on soon.  
I'm curious why," she said.

	Henry looked around.  "So how are you rating his 
party so far?"

	"If this was a science-fiction convention instead of a 
party for our wealthy friends, relatives, and clients, I'd rate 
him very highly.  It's an impressive feat of work.  But in 
terms of a party for the actual audience, it's not going so 
well," Ami said, shaking her head.  "Though I don't know if 
the other two will do any better."

	Henry looked off across the crowd.  "True.  Though I 
think ABBA will be a big hit, given it will likely send most 
of the guests into a frenzy of nostalgia."

	Ami laughed.  "That's true.  Well, we'll see.  The 
student band is pretty good, too.  Better than this 
electronica or whatever it's called."  She kissed her 
husband's cheek.  "See you soon."

	And she headed out, while he went looking for a 
dancing partner and tried to see if there was anyone he 
hadn't said hello to yet.

*****************

	"I don't get it.  Why do you want to leave?" Mikoto 
asked.  "It's not that late."

	"First off, we all need to be up and back here by 4 AM 
in order to get ready for Kenji's party," Akira said.

	"And secondly, my parents are coming," Nara said.

	"Are they out to kill you for some reason?" Hanai 
asked.

	"Have you ever met Nara's parents?" Akira asked.

	"No, not really," Hanai said.

	"Your dad's a stockbroker, right?  Didn't he come to 
career day last year?" Mikoto asked Nara.

	"Oh, he behaves at school," Nara said.  "But...they..."  
He struggled to figure out a neutral way to say things 
without badmouthing his own parents.  

	"There will almost certainly be a riot of some kind," 
Akira said.  "Best we not be implicated in it."

	"Well, let's try and find everyone, or we'll have to 
walk and I really don't want to do that," Mikoto said.  "Not 
in winter at night."

	Akira frowned.  "Hmm, good point."

	"Also, wouldn't it make more sense to see if we can 
crash here if we have to be back by 4 AM?" Mikoto said.

	"You have no true understanding of what is coming," 
Akira said urgently.  "For our own good, we must get to a 
safe distance."

	Hanai blinked.  "Is it really that dangerous?"

	"Maybe," Nara said.  "They might not do anything at 
all.  But..."

	"Okay, okay, let's try and find everyone," Hanai said.

	Akira prayed it wasn't too late.

*************

	Lala idly contemplated the assembled menfolk from 
her school bustling about, running the party.  Some of them 
were pretty good looking.  Yet it seemed the strongest men 
in her grade were taken...Harima...Hanai...Tougo...Harry...  
Though perhaps some of the other classes had strong men 
as well.  

	The main body of guests were too young for her, and 
the college students all had girlfriends.  Lala was not one to 
break up a real relationship.  (Her competition with Mikoto 
for Hanai was another question, but they had 
SUPPOSEDLY not been dating...)  Though Keiichi and 
Jenny were having some problems, but Keiichi was too 
much of a wimp for her.  A real man would have killed 
Yoshidayama by now.

	Bored, she decided to go and see a video.  It was 
probably stupid, but it beat drinking too much or drowning 
in self-pity.

	Heading into one room, where a bunch of eighteen 
wheelers were attacking a giant mecha (or maybe it was 
vice-versa), she saw Imadori leaning over, kissing Yukari's 
ear.  Or maybe just whispering into it.  But it was clear he 
was once again macking on a teacher.  

	There was no choice but to kill him.  He couldn't be 
allowed to be dating some other woman when he was 
engaged to someone else, especially not when Lala had no 
one to go out with herself.  

	She charged towards him, only to suddenly find an 
obstacle in her way, causing her to stop short.  It was 
Buddha, who held up a hand.  "He has done nothing to you; 
I will not allow this."

	"You think you can stop me?" she said in disbelief to 
him.

	Buddha responded by moving into a sumo stance, 
which looked rather odd from someone wearing a Futile 
Earth Self-Defense Force uniform.  "You shall not pass."

	"Stop me!" Lala said, charging forwards.  A hand 
slapped her chest and she fell to the ground.  

	She had a hard time breathing as she flipped back to 
her feet.  "I won't underestimate you this time," she said.

	Buddha paused in blowing on his hand, which looked 
a little red.  "Neither will I."

	She went for his arm this time and tried to throw him, 
but it was like he was glued to the ground, like trying to lift 
the entire school.  His other hand came around and slapped 
her to the ground again.

	He looked a little flushed, and she concluded whatever 
he was doing, he probably couldn't keep it up for a long 
time.  Or maybe he was just overheating from being too fat.  

	She tried jumping over him, but somehow his hand 
caught her foot and slammed her to the ground.  He turned 
and faced off with her again in that weird pose like he was 
riding a really gigantic horse.

	She backed up and charged again, spinning to aim as 
potent a kick as she could manage at his chest.  He stood 
there and took it, not moving at all, though he looked a 
little pained.  

	Lala nodded curtly, then began unleashing everything 
she had on him, blow after blow.  He knocked a few aside, 
but he lacked speed.  Every blow made him redder in the 
face, but he took the blows stolidly, in silence.

	She could see Imadori wasn't even paying attention; 
he was watching his stupid mecha-video and chatting up 
his new girlfriend and it made her blood boil.  She was 
trying to kill him and his friend was getting pounded to 
pieces and he DIDN'T EVEN CARE.

	"Why are you defending this idiot?" she shouted at 
Buddha.  "What could be worth so much pain?"

	"We have sworn an oath of brotherhood," Buddha 
said.  "We will die for each other, if need be."

	"He's busy seducing a teacher, leaving you to get 
killed!" she said, trying to sweep one of Buddha's legs, but 
it was like trying to fell a tree with a toothpick.

	"This is his party, his day to shine in all his glory, to 
show everyone what he loves.  Such days come but rarely, 
and I will willingly fight and fall in order to protect his 
shining moment of joy," Buddha said.  He made a grab for 
Lala's leg when she tried another kick, and this time got it, 
flipping her around to slam her into the ground.

	He just wouldn't give up, she thought.  But neither will 
I.  Only one of us is going to walk away from this.  And it's 
going to be me, she thought.

****************

	"But won't his parents just come looking for you if 
you're not here?" Miki asked Akira.  "And where is 
Harima-san, anyway?"

	Akira listened to the howling of the dogs, and 
wondered if he would get here before or after Nara's 
parents.  "That would be an improvement.  I just fear the 
results of them at the party.  We need this building intact."

	"I really think you're being over-fearful," Masahiro 
said.  "And now I'm curious to see what will happen."

	This is how Cassandra felt, Akira thought.  "But..."

	"C'mon, take a chance, live a little," Miki said.

	"You live longer by not taking chances," Akira said.

	"But is it worth living like that?  Didn't you take a 
chance when you started dating Nara-san?" Miki asked.

	Nara listened quietly, wondering what Akira would 
say.

	"That's different," Akira said.  "Kentaro-san is very 
reliable."

	"And do you think his parents will take it well if you 
run away from them when they're expecting you?" Miki 
asked.

	"They'll take it badly," Nara said.

	Akira frowned.  Less of a bimbo-woman than I 
thought, she thought.  Which made this harder.  

	"I'd like to meet Nara's parents myself," Hanai said.

	"Me too," Mikoto said.  "C'mon, Akira-chan, I'm sure 
it will be just fine."

	She sighed.  "Fine.  But I'm not taking responsibility 
for whatever may ensue."

	"Let's..." Miki began then cocked her head.  "Is it just 
me, or do I hear a fight going on?"

	Hanai cocked his head, then frowned.  "It sounds like 
Lala-san, but who is she fighting?"

	Mikoto elbowed him gently, but he failed to 
understand.

	"Well, if she tears up Imadori's party, it's not..." Akira 
began, but Mikoto and Hanai were already heading for the 
violence.  She sighed and followed after.

****************

	Ishiyama stared at the two gorgeous people coming 
out of the darkness.  He'd expected no more guests at this 
hour, but Imadori had sent him to man the door, anyway.  
"Ma'am, sir, welcome to the New Years' Eve party."  He 
bowed.

	The man smiled at him.  "I am Nara Goro and this is 
my lovely wife, Kimiko."  

	Ishiyama did his best to not stare at the woman's well-
exposed cleavage, but it was just so tempting.  He laughed 
nervously.  "Welcome to the party.  So you're Nara's 
parents?"

	"Yes, he's my darling little boy.  Do you know where 
he is?" Kimiko asked, smiling at Ishiyama, who felt his 
body temperature rising.  It was hard to think straight.

	"If they're not shagging like weasels somewhere, he 
and Akira are probably dancing."  He paused and put a 
hand over his mouth.  "I mean, I'm sure they don't actually 
have..."  Sorry, Nara-san, he thought.  Parents never take 
that well.

	"Shagging...just the two of them?" Kimiko asked.

	"..."  Ishiyama just had no idea it was humanly 
possible for a parent to ask that so lightly.  His own parents 
would be killing the door guard if they thought he was 
shagging someone.  Which he wished Sagano and Mai 
weren't taken, as he'd happily shag either of them, but that 
was really off topic when the problem was to not be killed.

	"Are you alright?" Goro asked, looking worried.  "You 
seem to be choking on something.  Should I give you the 
Heimlich?"

	"No...I'm...fine.  Unless they've joined Hanai's 
foursome, they're just...shagging...each other...," Ishiyama 
managed to say, holding the doorframe for support.

	"Hmm.  Hanai...the class representative, right?"

	"Yes," Ishiyama said.

	Kimiko smiled deeply at Ishiyama, who felt like his 
clothing was going to burst into flames.  "I'll have to meet 
this fellow, see if he can give my son some pointers," she 
purred.

	It was too much for Ishiyama, who now fainted.

	"Oh dear," Goro said.  "I think you overdid the charm 
a little."

	"Nice to see I still have it," Kimiko said, then picked 
up Ishiyama over one shoulder.  "Can you get the door, 
dear?  We should take him to their infirmary."

	"Of course, my love," he said, opening the door.  
"Follow me."

****************

	Buddha was hardly moving, except when she tried to 
get around him to get at Imadori.  Lala could hardly believe 
he was still standing.  Or that Imadori was just sitting there, 
making her beat up this poor hapless would-be sumo, 
instead of fighting on his own behalf.  Coward.  Too busy 
hitting on a teacher to defend his own friend.  

	"Give up, you cannot pass me," Buddha said, though 
he was clearly having trouble breathing.

	Lala paused a moment, feeling guilty.  Buddha had 
never done anything to cause her any trouble that she knew 
of; she wanted to crush Imadori, not him.  This wasn't a 
fight at this point, it was her beating up a man who just 
stood there and took it.  He tried to fight, but he hadn't been 
very fast at the start, and he could hardly hope to match her 
now.

	But he wouldn't give up.  He was going to fight to the 
point of unconsciousness.  His bravery was admirable, even 
if his cause was horrible.  "Give up," she said.  "Before I 
have to break you."

	"You...shall not...pass...," Buddha wheezed out.  

	If only the ceiling were higher, she thought, I could 
leap over him.  But it was too low and she feared ending up 
trashing part of the house before the next two parties.  But 
she was regretting having to hurt Buddha more.  

	"Imadori, you bastard, hiding behind him!!!  How can 
you do this to your own friend???" Lala shouted.

	"Buddha is free to let you through any time he wants.  
But he wants to do this, and I won't step on his toes by 
denying him the right to do what he wants," Imadori said.  
"Do you want me to intervene, Buddha?"

	"No, I am fine," Buddha said, breathing harder than 
Darth Vader.  He certainly didn't sound fine.

	"You're just jealous because there's no one who likes 
you enough to do that for you," Yukari said to Lala.  "You 
don't have any real friends and you're jealous of anyone 
who does have true friends they can count on."  Her voice 
was full of venom.  "And you're so hateful and evil, you 
don't deserve any friends."

	Lala remembered her class making her drink tobasco 
sauce for betraying them with Hanai, Hanai leaving her for 
that damn Mikoto, the other-world Hanai who only wanted 
her because he couldn't have his Lala...  Was there anyone 
who really cared about her?  Who would fight for her as 
Buddha fought for Imadori?  Who would fight for her to 
the last ditch and beyond?

	She'd spent her whole life beating up enemies and 
rivals, not making friendships.  There was no one who 
showed her that kind of loyalty, who would lay themselves 
down to defend her if need be.  

	Hanai...she had hoped...her heart ached as she thought 
about him.  And Ichijou...she was a friend, but was she that 
close a friend?  Would she do that for me, Lala wondered.  
But she'd always...she had wanted...

	She was so lost in her own thoughts that it took 
Buddha making a desperate attempt to pin her while she 
was distracted to get her to actually come back to the fight.  
She twisted and threw him to the floor as hard as she could, 
trying to finish things.

	She was about to jump over him at Imadori when he 
sat up, then grabbed a chair to pull himself up.  She got 
over him, pinning him to the ground by his shoulders and 
beginning to count.  "Just give up already!" she said.  "You 
can't win."

	"It's not about the winning, it's about doing the right 
thing," Buddha managed to say.  "I will not give up, 
whatever you do."

	"You can't win!  How can he possibly be worth this?"  
Her voice had become very shrill.

	"He is my friend and this is my present to him on his 
shining day," Buddha said.

	His shining day...Imadori?  Shining?  How could he 
inspire such devotion when he was such a total chump?  

	When she couldn't.  

	Even if she beat him up, Imadori had already won the 
battle that really mattered.  

	She fought back the urge to cry, and let go of Buddha, 
standing up, just as Akira, Nara, Hanai, and Mikoto walked 
in.  "Fine.  In respect of your devotion, I will..."  Letting 
someone else ground her gears.  "Resume this tomorrow, 
when it is not his special day."

	She bowed to Buddha, lifted him wobbily to his feet, 
then turned to storm off.

	Seeing Mikoto there, she glared at Mikoto, trying to 
kill her by pure force of will, then tried to silently stomp 
past them.

	"Did you just beat up Buddha?" Hanai asked in 
disbelief.

	Lala's lips moved soundlessly.

	Akira cocked her head slightly.  Nara started to speak, 
then decided not to draw her attention.

	"What?" Mikoto asked, looking suspiciously at Lala.

	"I can't read lips, I'm afraid," Hanai told her.  "But it 
does..."

	"I lost," she said softly, then ran.

	Hanai blinked.  She looked to be in a whole lot better 
shape than Buddha, yet, she was running away and he 
wasn't.  Curiouser and curiouser...

***************

	Nara Goro and his wife had dropped off Ishiyama at 
the infirmary, then split up to look for their son or the 
Sawachika parents.  Goro was starting to head for the video 
rooms on the advice of one boy when he was nearly run 
over by a raven-haired, dusky-skinned beauty.  If you have 
to be run over, that's the way to go.

	As it was, they collided and she fell down on top of 
him.  "Are you alright, fair maiden?" he asked urgently.

	"I'm fine," she said, not bothering to move, just lying 
there on top of him.  "Everything will be as awful on the 
floor as standing up," she said morosely.

	He helped her up anyway, gracefully avoiding any 
inappropriate contact, then taking her hands.  "Has some 
foul cad broken your heart?" he asked, concerned.

	"That stupid bitch Mikoto stole my boyfriend and I 
just..."  She was clearly fighting the urge to cry.  

	"Now, now," he said soothingly, offering her a 
handkerchief.  "What sort of foolish man would reject a 
woman as beautiful as yourself?"

	Lala felt her heart skip a beat.  She shouldn't...but it 
was so comforting to be told that.  It was a weakness; 
weakness should be crushed.  But she had no strength for 
crushing.  "That evil Mikoto woman pulled the wool over 
his eyes!  She turned him against me!"

	"Why don't we find a chair and you can tell me all 
about it?  A burden shared is lessened," he said smoothly, 
taking her off towards the seating area of the ballroom.

	She let herself be led along; she desperately needed a 
sympathetic ear.  Someone who would listen and respect 
her.  

	It didn't hurt that he was handsome too.  But she 
wasn't thinking in those terms, even if he was elegant and 
dashing and respectable.

	Really.

************
	
	Henry had just finished another round of dancing with 
his wife's relatives when a beautiful woman approached 
him in a slinky evening dress.  He had no idea who she 
was, which surprised him, as she looked quite well off, but 
usually, it was the same people at most of their parties.

	"Excuse me, sir, are you Henry Sawachika?" she 
asked in English.

	He blinked then wondered if she was from England or 
just faked it well.  "Yes, ma'am.  You have the better of 
me."

	"I am Nara Kimiko.  My son is one of your daughter's 
classmates," she said.

	He looked her up and down and wondered what her 
husband looked like, as Nara certainly didn't get his looks 
from her.  "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said.

	"Would you like to dance?" she asked.  

	"Sure," he replied, and they began to dance together.  
As they waltzed, he tried to figure out if she was flirting 
with him or if he was just imagining things.  She certainly 
seemed interested in looking at him, and she had that 
hungry look.

	But he was content with his marriage, even if she was 
rather good looking.  And wasn't she married?  

	"Your son seems like a very nice boy," Henry said to 
her.

	"Probably too nice for his own good.  You know how 
it is in the world we walk in; you need a little wolf in you 
to fend off the predators, and I fear he somehow didn't get 
any from either of us."  It was strange; her face changed 
completely while she spoke, looking more a worried 
mother than a she-wolf on the hunt, and then her face 
changed back, and he wondered which was fake and which 
real.  

	"Children are difficult to handle, especially when 
business draws you away," Henry said, navigating them 
around Harry and Karen, then dodging between two 
couples.

	She smiled at him appreciatively.  "Very smooth," she 
said softly, then shifted gears again.  "I know the feeling.  
I'm so busy, I rarely have time to spend on my boy.  But I 
heard he would be helping with these parties, and I thought 
I should come and show I appreciate how hard he works," 
she said.

	He spun her out, then pulled her back in as they 
dodged between two more couples.  "Can you jitterbug?"

	"Of course," she said, and now they picked up the 
pace, spinning around each other; she gave a delighted little 
cry each time he lifted her into the air.

	"Well, the main party he's associated with is tomorrow 
morning," Henry said.  

	Distantly, there was more barking of dogs.  Henry 
shook his head.  "They've been frenzied all evening."

	"Oh, dogs won't hurt us in here," Kimiko said.  "I'm 
sure nothing will go wrong.  Let's dance."

	And the band played on...

*****************

	Imadori said, "Maybe you should take more aspirin."  
He frowned.

	"I'm fine," Buddha said, lying.  "I don't think it's safe 
to take more than I've had, and we don't have any medical 
grade painkillers."

	"We should go kick the shit out of that woman," 
Yukari said, frowning as she looked at Buddha.  "After 
what she did to him."

	"She'd beat the everliving shit out of us," Imadori said.

	Yukari wiggled a finger.  "Language."

	"She'd beat the everliving STUFFING out of us," 
Imadori said, shaking his head.  "And I couldn't bear to see 
you get beaten up by Lala-chan."

	Yukari blushed a little, and stepped over to put an arm 
around his back.  "Would it make you angry?"

	"I'd attack Lala in a fury and then she'd make me eat 
my own spleen," Imadori said sadly, putting an arm around 
her back as well.  

	"You can't eat your spleen, it's inside you," Yukari 
said.  "I'm no biologist, but I know that."

	"She would find a way," Imadori said.  "We'll just 
have to punish her by wrecking her performance 
tomorrow."

	"Oooh, spite.  I like spite," Yukari said cheerfully.

	"It's part of what makes you so wonderful," Imadori 
said, kissing her cheek."

	She blushed again.  

	"You may wish to consider there are security cameras 
filming you both," Buddha mumbled.

	"Yes, but we control them now," Imadori said.  "And 
it's unlikely anyone else will end up here, hurt."

	"It's nearly midnight.  You need to round up the ladies 
to sing in the New Year," Buddha mumbled.

	"I can't just leave you here alone," Imadori said, 
frowning.

	"Yeah, that would be pretty terrible after how hard 
you protected our date," Yukari said.

	Buddha raised an eyelid slightly at Yukari, studied 
her, then said, "This is your shining moment.  Seize it; this 
is what I fought for."

	"I..." Imadori began.

	"I'll stay with him.  He can probably use some English 
tutoring anyway," Yukari said.  "You go do your dream 
show."

	"I...you don't mind?" Imadori asked.

	"It's fine, dear," she said, kissing his cheek.  "Go."

	So he went.  

	"Don't worry," she said to Buddha.  "You'll be in so 
much pain from my teaching soon that you won't even 
FEEL your wounds."  Her voice was gentle, and it was 
clearly an attempt to comfort him.

	But not a very well done one.

**************
	
	"There's Dad," Nara said.  "Dancing with...Lala?"

	Akira's eyes flicked across the room.  "And your 
mother is after Eri's father."

	"You think so?" Hanai asked in surprise.

	"They're just dancing," Mikoto said.  "And if it calms 
down Lala..."

	Imadori now came up to them with Tenma (now in a 
Red Ranger outfit), Jenny, Kasumi, and Miki in tow (with 
Karasuma, Keiichi, Shinichi, and Masahiro trailing after 
them).  "Miko-chan, I need you to sing in the new year."

	"What?" she asked.  

	"For the big midnight finale, I need you all to do the 
countdown.  Everyone else already said yes," Imadori said.  
"Please?"

	"I...well..."  She looked over at Hanai.

	"Do it if you want to," he said.  "I don't mind."

	"I think...," Nara began.

	But no one would ever know what Nara thought (and 
few would care), because now people on the porch outside 
howled and ran in through the doors.  "There's a horde of 
wolves and Indians!" one of them yelled.

	"Indians?  In Japan?" Hanai asked in disbelief.

	"This had better not be your father," Mikoto said.

	Another of the people running inside shouted, "It's Vin 
Diesel!  We're all going to die!"

	"Why would Vin Diesel attack this party with wolves 
and Indians?" Nara asked.

	Akira said, "This is our cue to GET OUT."

	"Rangers!  You've got to defend us!"

	"What, ME?" Kasumi asked in disbelief.

	"It must be an attack from Dark Queen Fatora!" 
Imadori said.  He prayed it was just Mrs. Sawachika getting 
enthusiastic and wanting to stage a Doujibiron style fight.  
That was why he couldn't see her anywhere, right?

	People began to panic and run everywhere in terror.  
Security, hypnotized by the continuing porn on the 
monitors, failed to respond.  

	Mr. Nara, seeing dogs pouring in with Indians behind 
them, swept Lala off her feet and began to run at high 
speed.  "Don't worry, fair maiden, I will get you to safety," 
he said.  

	"I can fight them," she said. 

	"Let us find better ground, and we can fight them 
together," he said, heading for the bandstand.  High ground 
was good, or so he hoped.

	Lala turned crimson, then mumbled incoherently.

	Meanwhile, seeing the onrushing attack, Kimiko 
picked up Henry and ran for the exit which led deeper into 
the house.  "Don't worry, you're safe with me."

	He was impressed by how fast she ran, and a little 
embarrassed but he didn't ask to be let down.  "Where are 
we going?"

	"Once we reach the door, I should be able to hold it 
against the dogs so everyone else can get out," Kimiko 
said.  "Though you might want to call your butler."

	"Good idea," he said, getting out his phone and 
making the call.

	Jenny looked at the dogs.  "RANGERS!  CHARGE!"  
She rushed forward.

	"Jenny, you idiot, we can't fight all these dogs!" 
Kasumi said, running after her.

	"RED RANGER TO THE RESCUE!" Tenma 
shouted, getting into character.  She soared into the air and 
landed on a dog's head, driving it into the ground, then 
hefted two more dogs and spun, tossing them through the 
mob to disrupt it.

	"Hey, if the kid can do it, so can we!" Jenny shouted, 
laughing as she charged.

	"TENMA!" Mikoto shouted, charging after her.

	Miki shrugged, kissed Masahiro, then said, "See you 
soon, honey!" and charged after the others.

	"Should we help?" Keiichi asked nervously.

	"We can help evacuate people and pitch in if they 
need us," Hanai said, quickly detailing the menfolk to begin 
escorting people.

	Akira looked over at Nara.  "I expect Lala needs more 
saving from your father than Mr. Sawachika from your 
mother."

	Nara sighed.  "Yes.  Let's go!"  They took off running.

	From the roof, Mr. Tarakawa observed through the 
skylight and watched over the edge of the roof.  They're 
filling the artificial fjiord with tea...tea???  HOW COULD 
THEY COMMIT SUCH A SIN AGAINST TEA?

	Next to him, Miss Spider shivered at the blasphemy.

 	He continued to observe.  Mostly women, but there's a 
man in charge...That's not really Vin Diesel, is it?  Isn't 
Diesel bald?  This guy had slick black hair and a huge 
headdress and a tomahawk in each hand and buckskin 
clothing...and warpaint.  That spelled out xXx.  But he 
wasn't Vin Diesel.  

	Probably.

	And then the witch looked up at him.  Her crimson 
eyes bored into his, and he felt his skin itch.  She seemed to 
see right through him, like she knew everything.  He froze 
up briefly in a panic, then managed to turn his gaze aside 
and ran.  He knew her face from the security camera...that 
was Akira's younger sister Yakumo...and if she could do 
this to him from so far away...who knows what...could her 
sister do it too?  Probably with more subtlety...who knew 
what Akira knew now...

	Not to mention...their mother was right here next to 
him...could she do this?  How much did she know?

	He decided it was time to get the hell out and consider 
what to do next later, from a safe distance, in a hotel room.

	Kagura strode through the party like a laughing 
goddess of destruction, running around whooping and 
knocking over giant cardboard stands and shouting 
commands that the dogs ignored and loving it.  

	Then she found herself confronted by the Pink Ranger.

	For a moment, Kagura stared at her mindlessly, then 
shouted in broken English, "A big Indian woman is here to 
scallop you!"

	The Pink Ranger shrieked like a wounded animal and 
ran for her life.  Kagura instinctively began to chase her.

	"I won't let you get away with this!" someone shouted, 
and then Kagura felt someone crash into her back, boot 
first.  She fell to the ground.

	The Green Ranger said, "Never fear, GREEN IS 
HERE!"  

	Far away, Imadori shouted, "GO, GO, GREEN 
RANGER!"  He and a now recovered Ishiyama had joined 
Kimiko and Henry at the door, through which they ushered 
fleeing guests while holding off the dogs.

	Kagura stood up and the Green Ranger flipped up into 
the air, then landed, striking a pose which Kagura was 
pretty sure she'd seen in the Karate Kid movies.  "Okay, 
YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!"

	Kagura charged at the Green Ranger, who began 
hopping backwards on one foot, lashing out with her other 
foot, while using her arms to parry aside Kagura's frenetic 
punches.  "COME BACK HERE YOU JUMPING BEAN!"

	The Red Ranger faced off with Chiyo-Chan.  She 
jumped to one side as Chiyo Chiyo-charged, riding 
Tadakichi, armed with a spear that used to be a flagpole.  In 
fact, it still had a flag on it.  

	The Red Ranger flipped over, grabbed another flag, 
then seized the largest dog she could find and forced it to 
charge towards Chiyo-chan, using her flag as a lance as 
well.  

	Harima stared.  Is that Tenma?  "No, don't attack the 
Red Ranger!" he shouted, but neither of them were paying 
attention.  

	Horror music began to play from the loudspeakers, as 
Osaka advanced on Lala and Mr. Nara, a butcherknife in 
her hands and a cold, evil grin on her face.  Dogs circled, 
slowly closing in towards the bandstand.   "THE EAST 
INDIA COMPANY WILL PAY FOR ITS SINS!" she 
shouted.

	Yakumo watched the chaos, wondering if it was such 
a good idea.  Also, there was a distinct lack of sausage; she 
had a feeling the dogs would be displeased.  

	Harima leaped to try and save the Red Ranger from 
Chiyo-chan's charge, only to have the Yellow Ranger come 
leaping down at him.  He was knocked back into the wall, 
and now the Yellow Ranger advanced on him, unleashing a 
barrage of attacks.  He'd lost his Tomahawks to the first 
blow, and the woman...she fought like Harry, he realized.

	"MacKenzie, that's not you in drag is it?" he asked, 
trying to get his footing back.

	"DRAG?  DRAG?  I'M A REAL WOMAN, 
DAMMIT!" she shouted, doubling her assault.

	Tadakichi shied at the last second, and the Red Ranger 
and Chiyo-chan flew past each other harmlessly.

	The Blue Ranger dropped down by Yakumo.  
"Yakumo, what are you doing?"

	"I'm not Yakumo," she said through the silver mask 
she'd donned.  "I am the Witch of Salem."

	The Blue Ranger sighed. "You want Imadori having 
an excuse to do this to your party?"

	"He will try to sabotage mine anyway," the Witch of 
Salem said sadly.  

	The Blue Ranger looked around at the chaos and 
sighed.  "Just...don't make this any worse, please?  For your 
sister's sake?"

	Yakumo saw the Red Ranger and Chiyo-chan chasing 
each other around the room.  "I thought..."

	"Isn't it better to win fair and square?" the Blue Ranger 
asked.

	Yakumo suddenly felt very guilty.  
	
	Mrs. Sawachika, still in costume, now came out to 
where her husband was.  After a glance at Kimiko, she said 
to Imadori, "This is your party.  You're in charge.  How are 
you going to salvage this?"

	Eri now came out, clad in her rather scanty Evil 
Princess Pickle Pepper costume, which put the low in low-
cut and the SHINY in glitter.  "Fine, I'm wearing my stupid 
costume now.  Are we...what the..."  As she stared at the 
chaos, her eyes widened.

	Imadori grabbed her hand.  One hope.  "Follow me!"

	Eri got dragged through the howling chaos to the 
bandstand, where Imadori turned off the horror music and 
put the music back on.  He could see Osaka dueling with 
Mr. Nara, his sword-cane against her butcherknife, while 
Lala threw aside every dog that charged them, howling 
angrily.

	"HARIMA KENJI!  I know you're here!" he shouted.  
"Take a look at this!"  He turned Eri, who felt half-naked, 
because she nearly was, towards the raging barbarian who 
HAD to be Harima.  

	Harima stared at Eri, then gushed blood out of his 
nose, giving a cry of surprise, and then the Yellow Ranger 
kicked him in the groin and brought her fists down on his 
head.

	He collapsed, gibbering, unable to think of anything 
but what he'd just seen.  Sometimes near-nakedness can hit 
you far harder than the real thing...

	As the Yellow Ranger was about to finish him, 
Yakumo moved in a blur, staff flashing to knock the 
Yellow Ranger's leg out as she tried to bring her other leg 
down on Harima. 

	The Blue Ranger turned and decided to go make sure 
Tenma and Chiyo-chan didn't kill each other.

	"Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread ranger!" the 
Green Ranger taunted Kagura, who dove for her, only to 
get kicked in the butt and punted off towards the exit doors.

	The Yellow Ranger stared at Yakumo.  "Well, well, 
the Witch of Salem?  WE BURNED ALL OUR 
WITCHES!" she shouted in English, then unleashed a 
flurry of blows.  But Yakumo read them all just before they 
were unleashed, and parried each one with her staff.

	Harima staggered to his feet now, wobbling.

	Mr. Nara forced Osaka back across the stage, Lala 
covering his rear as he advanced.

	Eri felt an odd sense of pleasure that the sight of her 
got Harima so...affected. And anger at him getting 
clobbered.  "I am not your doll to flaunt, Imadori!" she 
shouted at him.

	"Ladies, gentlemen, enjoy the show, this is our grand 
Doujibiron battle sequence to celebrate the new Year, 
which begins in ten...nine...eight..."

	The survivors began to chant in unison as they 
counted down the new year and beat each other and dogs 
up.

	Even Eri began to count, unable to help herself.  
"Three...two...one...MIDNIGHT!"

	Akira shook her head.  Getting everyone back in time 
to set up Kenji's party was going to be BRUTAL.  A good 
thing they hadn't planned anything for the party which 
required too much thought...

	Harima rang in the New Year by kicking the Yellow 
Ranger in the butt, sending her flying off into the middle of 
the dogs, who were complaining there was NO SAUSAGE.  
"RETREAT!  We've done enough damage to the Yeast 
Hindu Company!"

	His crew fled into the night with the Rangers chasing 
them.

	Eri said, "Don't EVER flaunt me again," to Imadori.

	He grinned.  "Don't tell me you didn't like his 
reaction."  Then he strode off, leaving her open mouthed.

	Imadori walked up to Mrs. Sawachika.  "So?"

	"Not bad," she said.  "Not bad.  Now how do you plan 
to clean up the mess?"

	Imadori got onto the loudspeakers.  "Video Store 
Appreciation Society!  Cleanup in Main Ballroom!"

	His people swarmed to work, while he went to go 
check on Buddha.

	Mrs. Sawachika watched him go thoughtfully.

**************

	We now leap back slightly in time.

	There, done.  

	Watch out for that jetlag.

	As midnight approached in the Anegasaki household, 
Tani could see almost everyone but him had fallen asleep.  
However, Tae now roused and took his hand and tugged 
Yuri awake, then crept out to the porch with them.  The air 
was cold and bracing and quickly forced Yuri all the way 
awake.  

 	They could see the sea, waves beating against the 
shore beneath a dark, starry sky, down below them at the 
base of the cliff.  The tang of salt was in the air.  

	"Now here's the tricky part," Tae said.

	Yuri looked down.  "This isn't some traditional cliff-
diving thing, right?"

	"No.  It's just that we should kiss at midnight, which is 
trickier with three people," Tae said.  "So you two should 
probably go first, then I can kiss each of you."

	"Sound reasonable to me," Tani said.

	"Okay," Yuri said, then pulled Tani into an embrace 
and kissed him softly as the full moon shone down.  

	Tae said, "Wait, it's not midnight yet!"

	Yuri finished the kiss, then grabbed Tae and kissed her 
as well, pulling Tae in close.  "I don't need an excuse now," 
she said softly, blushing a little, still holding Tae tightly.

	Tae did as well.  "Silly of me to get embarrassed at 
this point."

	"You're not silly, you're our love," Tani said softly, 
then kissed her as the TV suddenly doubled in volume 
inside, shocking everyone awake as a bunch of idol singers 
chanted, "Ten...nine...eight..."

	They were still kissing when midnight hit.  Tae wished 
it would never end.

	However, their romantic interlude ended with a 
particularly large puff of smoke flying right into their faces.

	"Sorry about that!" Mr. Anegasaki said.  "I didn't 
realize you were out on the porch!"

	A cigarette flew past them and over the cliff.  "Enough 
of that.  Eat this breath mint, then kiss me," Mrs. Anegasaki 
said to her husband.

	"I'm sick of these..."  His voice was cut off by gurgling 
noises, and Tae laughed.

	Yuri asked, "That happen often?"

	"All the time," Tae said, laughing.  "All the time."

*************

	The Rangers were still chasing the invaders when the 
Green Ranger said, "Umm...does anyone have any idea 
where we are?"

	The Blue Ranger looked around; you couldn't see any 
landmarks down here in the valley full of trees.  "Not a 
clue."

	The Yellow Ranger said, "Well, our boyfriends will 
come find us, right?"

	"Or maybe Keiichi will convince them you need a 
lesson in not flirting with young punks to make him jealous 
and he'll let us all wander around lost!" the Pink Ranger 
said, panicking.

	"I wouldn't have to make him jealous if he'd show a 
little affection in public without it!" the Yellow Ranger 
said.

	"MY boyfriend will not abandon us!," the Red Ranger 
said.  "He'll come find us even if Keiichi is a punk."

***********

	"He volunteered to WHAT?" Imadori asked.

	"Karasuma said he would dispose of the curry," 
Ishiyama said to Imadori.

	"Who made the curry?" Imadori asked as he studied 
Karasuma, who was lying on the floor, moaning.

	"Shouldn't we take him to the infirmary?" Ishiyama 
asked.  "I think Sawachika-san made it."

	If we do get married, it's a good thing we'll have a 
cook, Imadori thought.  "Okay, let's get him stashed away."  
He paused.  "Wait...she cooked for my party?"

	"She did have this odd look on her face at the time," 
Ishiyama said as he hefted one end of Karasuma and 
Imadori took the other.  "Man, she looks hooooot in that 
outfit."

	"Yeah, Princess Pickle Pepper is pretty hot," Imadori 
said.  

	"So what the hell just happened to our party, anyway?  
Was that Harima?"

	"A good show," Imadori said.  "You have to learn to 
roll with the punches, Ishiyama, or you'll end up beaten and 
broken.  Let's go."

************

	"I think that...I mean..."  Yakumo could see and feel 
how agitated Harima was feeling, and hesitated to criticize.

	"Jesus, who the hell was that Green Ranger?  Isn't the 
Karate Kid guy kinda old and not female now?"

	"She was nothing compared to the Yellow one," 
Osaka said.  "Or the Blue one."

	"The Blue one didn't do much," Kagura said.  "But I 
want a rematch with the Green one."

	"I could kick the Green one's ass with both hands 
behind my back," Harima said.  "But I never thought Harry 
would dress up in drag like that."

	"That was Harry?" Yakumo asked.

	"Fought just like him," Harima said.  "I won, of 
course, but he gave me a good fight."  He stretched.  "I 
went easy on him at first, of course, makes for a better 
show."

	Yakumo could tell he was lying, but it wasn't worth 
fighting about.

	Harima kneeled down by one of the dogs.  "I'm sorry, 
I was wrong, there was no sausage.  I have to do stuff 
tomorrow, but how about if I help you guys find some 
sausage in two days?"

	They heard the dogs barking at him.  This seemed to 
mollify them.  

	Harima nodded and rose.  "Two days, then."

	"Well, I had fun despite my troubles," Kagura said.

	"But now they have an excuse to wreck our parties," 
Yakumo said softly.

	"Imadori didn't need an excuse.  And I won't let him 
wreck yours, Yakumo-san," Harima said.

	"I..." she began.

	"And since you're my girlfriend, I won't wreck yours 
either.  Still, that could have gone better."

	Shyly, Yakumo took Harima's hand, and hoped he was 
right that he could prevent any trouble.

	Osaka said, "Hmm, you know, we kind of wrecked 
our own fjiord with tea."

	Chiyo-chan said, "..."

	"Dammit!" Kagura said.

	Yakumo sighed.  Evil deeds always bounce back on 
you.

	"Well, we'll just have to make it an official tea-fjiord," 
Osaka said. 

	Harima yawned.  "Dammit, it's going to fuc...it's going 
to su...Getting up in a few hours isn't going to be fun."  He 
kept glancing at Yakumo and reminding himself not to 
swear.

	"That's why we should get hyped up on caffiene, stay 
up all night, then get totally strung out on coffee and 
collapse once Yakumo's party is over," Osaka said.

	"Good idea," Harima said, "Chiyo-chan, we're going 
to have to make super-triple-black coffee when we get to 
your place."

	Osaka was so stunned someone thought her idea was 
good that she promptly fell down.

	Kagura picked her up.  "Hmm, that sounds good to 
me."

	Yakumo wasn't so sure, but she was going to go home 
and get some sleep so she would be rested for her party.  
Her boyfriend was on his own so far as doing his own 
party, though she had to keep reminding herself of that to 
overcome her instincts.

*************
	
	Shinichi came up to Hanai, who was directing a team 
scrubbing the ballroom floor.  "Our girlfriends haven't 
come back yet."

	Hanai frowned.  "Not yet?  Did you try calling them?"

	"They didn't have pockets, so they don't have their 
phones," Shinichi said.

	"Time to wander around in the woods, I guess," Hanai 
said, frowning.  "Let's get everyone and go."

************	

	Nara looked around, frowning.  Where has Dad run 
off to, he asked himself.

	Akira was luckier, tracking down Kimiko as she 
talked with Eri, Henry, and Ami.  "Oh, there's a contest?" 
Kimiko was saying.  "Too late to get my boy in on it, I 
suppose."

	Frostily, Akira said, "He already HAS a girlfriend."

	Kimiko looked over at her, smiling.  "Hello, Takano-
san.  You look very pretty tonight."

	"The contest is closed to entry," Henry said.  "This 
should..."  He stopped himself.  "It will suffice."

	"So do you," Akira said to Kimiko.  "Your son is 
looking for you."  She took Kimiko's arm.

	"Well, it's nice to meet you all," Kimiko said.  "Eri-
san, you're even prettier than my son said you are."

	Eri looked slightly flustered.  "Really?"  She was 
trying to cover her chest as best she could in her costume.  

	"Yes," Kimiko said as Akira began to drag her.  "I'll 
see you at tomorrow's parties, Henry-san, Ami-san!"  

	Akira sped up.

	"Now, now, I was having a nice friendly..." Kimiko 
began to say to her once they were out of earshot.

	"Eri's parents are happily married," Akira said firmly.  
"And please do not go around trying to get my boyfriend 
engaged to other women."

	"Now, now, you know you and Hanai...," Kimiko 
began.

	"That will NEVER happen," Akira said, fighting to 
keep her voice calm.  "I will never do anything that could 
hurt their relationship.  Never."

	"Even if you want to," Kimiko said.

	"Don't tell me what I think!" Akira snapped.

	Kimiko sighed and rubbed her forehead.  "I'm sorry, 
Takano-san.  I really am glad you like my boy.  He loves 
you very much."

	"How can you just run around on your husband like 
that?  Don't you love him?" Akira asked.

	"Oh, I love Goro-kun very much," Kimiko said.  "I 
could hardly imagine living without him."

	"Then why do you need a giant harem?" Akira 
demanded.

	"Love fades without conflict and choice," Kimiko 
said.  "When two people settle down together, they come to 
take each other for granted.  I can never take Goro-kun for 
granted, and he can never take me for granted.  And my 
heart has room for many loves.  Our love is ever new 
because of the things we experience and do.  For us, it is 
the perfect lifestyle."  She smiled at Akira.  "Don't tell me 
you never think of other men."

	"But I don't act on it!" Akira said firmly.

	They now caught up to Nara.  "I can't find Father at 
all."

	"Well, I have the keys, so he must be here 
somewhere," Kimiko said.  "Hmm, I should check on that 
poor boy."

	"Poor boy?" Nara asked nervously.

	"He overheated and Goro-kun and I had to take him to 
the...hmm, maybe Goro-kun went to check on him too.  We 
didn't look there.  The infirmary, that is."

	Hanai now came up to them with Keiichi, Shinichi, 
and Masahiro in tow.  "Takano-san, do you want to come 
with us?  Mikoto-san and everyone ran off into the woods 
after the attackers and haven't come back and we're afraid 
they got lost or something."

	"Takano-san, you should help him," Kimiko said, 
nudging her.

	"Nara-sama, I don't...," Akira began.

	"I'm sure Mikoto would be glad to see you," Hanai 
said.  "But if you're busy..."

	"I'll keep Mom out of trouble," Nara said to Akira.  
"They may need your skills.  And this is really my 
problem."

	"Your problem is my problem," Nara said.

	"Oh, you're Nara-san's mother?" Hanai asked.

	"Yes.  You're Hanai Haruki, the class rep, right?" 
Kimiko asked, smiling in a manner which made Akira feel 
a stab of jealousy.  

	Akira wondered if she flirted with EVERYTHING 
male.

	"Yes, ma'am.  It's nice to meet you, but we really must 
be going," Hanai said.

	She took his hand, half-shaking, half-fondling it.  
"You've always been kind to my boy, for which I am 
grateful."

	"Mom!" Nara protested, embarrassed.

	"Nara is an able and contributing member of our class 
who never causes giant riots, unlike some people I could 
name," Hanai said.  "Will you be at the parties tomorrow?"

	"Yes," she said, smiling invitingly at him.

	Nara began to drag his mother off.  "I hear the 
infirmary calling you, Mother."

	Akira just shook her head.  "See you later, Nara-
sama."

	"Bye, Takano-san!  Megumi will be here tomorrow 
morning for your makeover!," Kimiko said as Nara took 
her away.

	Akira jumped half out of her skin.  "Well, let's go."

	"Damn, I think she was hitting on you," Keiichi said to 
Hanai.

	"She's married.  I'm sure she was just being friendly," 
Hanai said, starting towards the door.

	"First..well, not First Base.  But she was warming up 
to bat," Shinichi said.

	Akira kept silent, fearful she would do something 
insane if she spoke.

	"I hope Karasuma's going to be okay," Masahiro said.  
"Food poisoning can be ugly."

	"Unless there's real monsters in the woods, we can 
handle it, especially since we have Takano-san with us," 
Hanai said.

	Akira's eyes widened a moment, then she said, "Thank 
you."

	They headed out into the wilderness; fortunately, it 
was easy to follow the tracks, at least at first.

**************

	"How did it go?" Buddha asked when Imadori came 
in.

	"Flawlessly," Imadori said.  "Thank you."

	"You're welcome," Buddha said.

	Imadori looked over at Yukari, who was snoozing on 
one of the other beds.  "Been there long?"

	"Almost immediately after you left," Buddha said.

	He went over to her, looked thoughtful, then said, "I'll 
go find her girlfriend.  Make sure she doesn't wander off, 
okay?"

	"Okay," Buddha said, though his ability to influence 
Yukari in his current state was pretty low.

	Imadori was about to go when Eri came in, still in 
costume.  She walked over to Buddha, ignoring Imadori.  
"Are you okay?" she asked Buddha.

	"Just worn out," he said.  "I will just sleep here."

	"Are you sure?" she said.  "I could help you to your 
bed; it would be more comfortable."

	"You can help me to MY bed," Imadori said.

	Eri ignored him, though her eyebrows twitched.  

	Buddha said, "This bed is more comfortable than my 
futon at home."

	Eri's eyes widened a moment.

	"But thank you for your concern," he said.

	"Did you really beat Lala?" Eri asked softly.

	"He was awesome," Imadori said.  "You should have 
seen it."  He sounded proud.

	"I held the field at the end," Buddha said softly.

	"Well," Eri said respectfully.  "You never know when 
she's going to go crazy."  She pulled a sheet up over him.  
"You sleep now, okay?  Do you need a glass of water or 
something first?"

	"I could use some water."

	"I'll get it for you," Eri said, and headed out.

	"Well, damn, I don't think she's ever been that nice to 
me.  Maybe I need to get mangled," Imadori said.

	"Please don't," Buddha said.  "I'm just glad the party 
went well.  What was all that noise?"

	"The stage show got just a little out of hand," Imadori 
said.  "But I think it was a smashing success."

	"Good," Buddha said.  "You'd better go find Yukari-
sensei's friends."

	Imadori nodded.  "Buddha...you're a good friend."

	"And you, my friend," Buddha said.  "Good night."

	Imadori headed out.

	Even as he did so, Nara entered with his mother.  
"Buddha-san, this is my mother, Nara Kimiko.  Mother, 
this is my friend Buddha."

	"He does make a good Buddha," Kimiko said, 
studying him.  "Tried to fight the Gonzales girl, I hear."

	"I survived," Buddha said simply.

	"And modest too.  Becoming in a man," Kimiko said, 
looking around.  "I take it Ishiyama-san recovered?"

	"Yes," Buddha said.  "I expect he's probably with the 
cleanup crews."

	"Well, in that case, our quest leads elsewhere," 
Kimiko said.

	Nara looked suspiciously at his mother.

	"Lead me on, dear.  Good luck with your recovery, 
Buddha-san."

	"Thank you," Buddha said as they left, then laid down 
to await Eri's return.

**************

	Hanai's crew found the Rangers busy sparring to keep 
warm.  They stood and watched a minute or two.  The Blue 
Ranger clearly had the edge over the Yellow Ranger, while 
the Green Ranger was easily holding off Pink and Red at 
the same time.  

	"Is there some reason you're all doing this out in the 
woods instead of coming home?" Hanai asked.

	The Green Ranger started and got swept by Pink and 
Red.

	The Blue Ranger said, "We got lost."

	"Couldn't you follow your own tracks back in all this 
snow?" Hanai asked.

	"..."

	They all sweatdropped.

	Akira just shook her head.  "Don't forget, Miki-san, 
Mikoto-chan, that we all have to get up by 4 AM to get 
Kenji's party set up."

	"We're so screwed," Miki mumbled.

	"No time for that tonight," Shinichi said.  "For those 
suckers who are helping to mount the parties instead of just 
enjoying them."  He grinned.

	Mikoto yawned.  "Well, at least our parents didn't 
attack."

	"There is that," Hanai said, taking Mikoto's arm.  
"Let's go."

*************

	Lala was torn between the desire to spend more time 
with Goro and the fact that she had to perform in the 
morning and HAD to sleep.  They were closeted in her 
room with the door closed for privacy's sake.  

	Though it struck her that Karen would likely be 
returning soon, since the couples couldn't stay together with 
the Sawachika parents in the house.

	She sighed.  "I hate to kick you out, but Karen will be 
back soon, and we have to perform in the morning."  She 
wished...she wasn't sure what she wished or if it was wise 
to wish it.  She just wanted some company.

	"Alas at that, fair maiden," Goro said.  "But I will see 
you tomorrow at the party."  He took her hand and kissed it 
and she blushed.  "I would love to dance with you again."

	"Well, maybe at the evening party," Lala said.  
"Though maybe I'll get some time to dance in the 
morning."  She tried to sound hopeful.

	He kissed her hand again, and then headed for the 
door.  "Until we meet again beneath the winter sun, gentle 
one."

	She shivered at that.  Gentle one.  She liked the sound 
of that.  It was so...not like her at all, and not normally a 
goal, and yet...

	"Bye," she mumbled, embarrassed.

	He strode off, leaving her trembling, wondering if she 
was insane.  But at least HE had a definite interest in her, 
and wasn't just...well, she and the other Hanai had both 
been substituting.  But maybe...

	Maybe.  It was something to hope for, at least.

*************

	As Kimiko was getting into the car to go home, she 
paused.  "Honey...Juri and Alphonse never did show up, 
did they?"

	"They probably were consumed by lust and started 
making out again and there was no one to stop them this 
time," Goro replied.

	"That's true.  Well, they'll be fine together, I'm sure."

************

	"ALL SPEEDERS WILL SERVE MAXIMUM TIME 
FOR EVADING THE LAW!" Zenigata bellowed out of a 
bullhorn at the two cars he was now chasing.  

	Juri looked back in the rear view mirror.  "I told you 
we shouldn't assume that damn sports car was going to the 
party too at that speed!"

	She glared daggers at the blonde driver who was 
ahead of her.

	Alphonse sighed.  "How long until we run out of gas?"

	"We have enough for one more hour at this speed," 
Juri said.

	"Nothing I can do; going to nap, since the jail cell will 
likely be cold and hard."  He closed his eyes.

	"BASTARD!!!!!"

*************
	
	Exhausted, Yoshidayama finished changing into his 
pajamas; he had busted out his Doujibiron pajamas for 
tonight.  Not that he had the company he'd been hoping for, 
but after working so hard, he felt the need to indulge 
himself.  So he'd eaten three big pieces of pie and now he 
was going to climb under the sheets and sleep.

	However, as he climbed in, in the dark, something felt 
very odd, like there was sand in his bed for something.  

	He fumbled about and found some of it, and held it up 
to what passed for light as the moon filtered its light in 
through the window.  It was little white granules...sugar?

	Then the ants swarmed and the screaming started.

************

	Lala was staring out the window at the moon, dressed 
in her blue and red pajamas, when Karen finally stumbled 
in, very tired.  

	"How are you?  Did you have a good time?  I heard 
you danced with Nara's father," Karen said.  

	"Do you like me?" Lala asked softly.

	"I...what?" Karen asked.  Is Lala about to make a love 
confession to me?  Karen turned red at the thought.

	"Do you like me?" Lala repeated.

	"I...yes.  You're my friend," Karen said, hesitantly 
approaching her.

	"Would you fight for me?" Lala asked softly.

	"Uh...fight who?" Karen asked.  Since when did Lala 
ever ask someone to fight on her behalf?  What was wrong?  
"What's wrong?" she asked, coming over to stand by Lala.

	Lala's face was very stiff.  "Just..."  She seemed to 
struggle for words.  Her hands were trembling.  "I don't 
know.  Who.  Just, if I needed someone to...be my 
champion."

	Karen wasn't sure how THAT could ever happen.  But 
if it did...  "If you were in danger, I would fight to help save 
you," she said, reaching towards one of Lala's hands, then 
pulling her hand back, not sure if Lala wanted that.

	Lala grabbed the hand and squeezed it.  "You wouldn't 
let me fall alone?" she asked softly.

	"Of course not, you're my friend," Karen said firmly.  
"Lala, what's going on?"

	She didn't get to find out, as Lala embraced her, then 
cried on her shoulder until she fell asleep and Karen had to 
put her to bed.

************

	Harima looked suspiciously at the bubbling black 
sludge.  "This is coffee?" he asked.

	"This is THE ULTIMATE coffee," Osaka said 
confidently.

	Tadakichi retreated for fear it would eat him.

	"I'll try it," Kagura said.  She'd try anything once.  She 
took a deep draught, coughed, then washed it down with 
water.  She shook, then grinned.  "Yeah, PURE ENERGY.  
This should keep us going."

	"Alright," Harima said.  "Let's drink up, then we go 
back and get everything set up while we're still fresh."

	They all took a draught, changed to normal clothing, 
and headed back.

**************

	Tougo yawned loudly.  "Time for us to head back 
home, I think," he said.

	"Well, we had a good time," Makoto said.  "Thanks 
for coming, Tougo."

	"And you too, Mai," Rei said, sitting on the couch by 
Usagi, who had fallen asleep with her head on Rei's lap.  

	"Feel free to come by tomorrow!  The more the 
merrier!" Minako said, smiling.

	Ami had fallen asleep with her face on her keyboard, 
which Mai suspected was probably making a mess of it.

	They said their goodbyes and headed out.  

	Once they were gone, Minako said, "So who was that 
mysterious warrior who fought the Tiki Gods?"

	"The Tiki Gods who would NOT HAVE FOUND US 
WITHOUT YOU," Rei snapped.

	Ami mumbled something about Brad Pitt into her 
keyboard.

	"Well, she seemed to have a lot of fire, so maybe some 
kind of Sun Sailor?" Makoto asked.

	"She didn't wear a Sailor uniform," Luna said.  "So 
clearly she must come from another warrior tradition.  
Perhaps that of Earth."

	"But Earth isn't on fire," Makoto said.

	"And Jupiter isn't full of lightning," Luna continued.  
"We'll have to call Mamoru tomorrow, see if he remembers 
anything useful."

	"He's probably too busy hiding in a bomb shelter or 
something due to messages from the future.  His future self 
is such a bastard," Rei grumbled.

************	

	"If they find us, your dad will KICK our ass," Shinji 
said urgently to Chibi-Usa.  Shinji was the blue-haired 
genius son of Sailor Mercury in the year 2995, age 16 and 
just the right mentality and age for a woman to easily lead 
him around with the occasional kiss.  Chibi-Usa was herself 
17 at this point, a year older than him and much more 
cunning at turning fools into her allies.  

	"They didn't catch us the last four times," Chibi-Usa 
said.  "But if I can't get even with them in the present for 
grounding me, I have to take it out on them in the past.  
Especially Mom for being such a total putz as a kid."  She 
shook her head scornfully.

	"Yes, but they say...," Shinji began.

	"It's 'third time's the charm,'" Chibi-Usa said.  "I know 
THAT much."

	"No, I mean..."

	She said, "Don't make me guess what the Chrono-
Dream-Con's buttons do, Shinji-chan."  She strode up to 
him; her figure was already rather lusher than her mother 
had ever gotten.  She ran a hand along his arm.  "C'mon, 
help me out, okay?"  She smiled at him.

	He laughed nervously and gave in as he always did.  
"So what is it this time?"

	"Time to tell Dad that Mom needs to drink Tobasco 
sauce EVERY DAY, one bottle per meal, for the next 
month, or the future will be destroyed," Chibi said to 
Shinji.  "And Dad...he has to listen to at least three hours of 
Insane Clown Posse a day."

	Shinji began pushing buttons.  "Okay, here we go..."

	Chibi rubbed her hands.  Vengeance is a dish best 
served at a thousand years distance, oh yes.

*************

	Akira was feeling somewhat worried when she, Nara, 
Masahiro, Miki, and Hanai arrived back at Eri's place at 4 
AM to set things up.  They found everything half-set up, 
with various people fallen asleep at strategic locations.  
Chiyo was asleep on top of the sound system on the 
ballroom music stage.  Osaka was in the kitchen, her face 
planted in a huge bowl of oatmeal; she should have 
drowned, but apparently she was too tired to remember the 
need to breath.  Kagura had finished hanging up a lot of 
curtains and had fallen asleep leaning against the wall, with 
a poster curled down around her head.  

	And there was this weird noise, which turned out to be 
a groggy Sakaki hauling statuary into the ballroom.  She 
was setting up very cheap plaster statues of various famous 
gangsters and FBI agents.

	"Where is Kenji?" Akira asked.

	"Helping to unload the Pachinko machines and load 
the new ones," Sakaki said, yawning and nearly dropping a 
statue on Miki, who jumped back and hid behind Masahiro, 
who moved back himself.

	"Have you all been working since the other party got 
cleaned up?" Akira asked.

	She yawned, then said, "Yes."

	Well, if he was going to not get any sleep, at least his 
wakefulness had been productive, Akira thought.  But if he 
collapses during his own party, it won't be good.

	"Mikoto-chan, Kentaro-kun, you get to cook.  Hanai-
san, help Sakaki-san move those statues.  Miki-san, finish 
the posters. Masahiro-san, check the soundsystem and 
make sure our band didn't end up having an orgy in the 
snow or something," Akira said.  "I will go chivvy Kenji."

	They all nodded and moved out, wondering what 
'chivvy' meant, but no one wanting to be the first to ask.

	  As Akira approached, the deliverymen were busy 
taking out one set of machines and putting in another. 
Harima was half-directing this and half-sleeping against the 
wall with his arms on autopilot.

	"Kenji," Akira purred into his ear.  "Eri's here to have 
her way with you."

	He jumped halfway to the moon, then landed and put 
his hands over his eyes.  "I didn't do it!" he said frantically.

	Akira said, "You should have gotten some sleep."

	"Caffiene makes me STRONG," Harima said.  "I'm 
FINE."

	She could tell otherwise, but if you tried to fight Kenji 
head on, you'd always lose.  Or regret winning.  "Alright.  
Let's just not forget that if you sleep through the party, 
Imadori will likely win."

	"NEVER.  I'll never lose to that punk," Harima said, 
fists clenched.  

	"Good.  You seem to be handling this, so I'll go see 
about everyone's costumes."

	Harima nodded and Akira headed out.

*************

	Sagano was woken out of sound sleep by her phone 
ringing.  She grabbed it and wiggled out of bed; she and 
Yuuki were sleeping together, since Fuyuki had to move 
out due to the Sawachika parents being in the house.

	She went as far as she could without leaving the room 
and whispered into it, "Hello, this is Sagano Megumi, this 
had better be good as I was sleeping and I don't want to 
wake Yuuki."

	"Sagano-san, are you some kind of secret magical 
girl?", Mai asked.

	"Yes," Sagano said.  "But everyone who went to the 
other world with me knows."

	"..."

	"Why are you asking me this at WAY TOO EARLY 
O'clock?" Sagano asked.

	"Oh yeah, Japan time is different," Mai said.  "I...uh...I 
think the costume gave me magical girl powers somehow."

	"ROCK," Sagano said.  "Are you a harem ninja now?"

	"I don't know what I am, but I seem to be able to make 
condiments explode and jump like crazy and my staff really 
hurts men's groins," Mai babbled.

	"Ouch, you didn't hit Tougo-san too hard, did you?"

	"I didn't learn it from hitting HIM!"  Mai now 
explained the whole story.

	"Wow.  I just thought you'd have sexplay with it," 
Sagano mumbled.  "It's just a costume I put together...wow, 
maybe I can grant magical powers now!  That would rock."

	"Anyway, don't tell anyone...I'm going to keep it 
secret for now," Mai said.

	"No problem.  I can keep a secret," Sagano said.  "I'd 
better tell Yuuki since she helped me, though.  We can try 
and figure out how it happened when you get back.  Good 
luck fighting the Tiki Gods!"

	"Do you think they'll come back?" Mai asked, 
worried.

	"Evil ALWAYS comes back, until you destroy the 
Evil Queen, you know.  Or stop polluting the Earth.  Or 
both," Sagano said.  "Everyone knows that."

	"I'll keep that in mind," Mai mumbled.

	"Okay, see you, I must sleep now," Sagano said.

	"Goodnight!"

	As she crawled into bed, Yuuki cuddled up to her 
mumbling, "Who was that?"

	"Mai forgot we already had midnight and wanted to 
say hi," Sagano said.  "And...well, I'll tell you in the 
morning.  We should sleep."

	"Mmm, sleep," Yuuki said.

	Sagano wrapped her arms around Yuuki and slid into 
slumberland.

**************	

	Out of the darkness, there came a woman.  Harima 
studied her curiously, wondering who she was.  She was 
short with long black hair, slender except for her large 
bosom; she reminded Harima of an older Tenma, though 
Tenma would likely never be that chesty.  He wondered if 
they were real.  She dressed in an elegant white coat and 
Russian style hat; you could make out a very nice dark blue 
evening gown under the coat.  "You must be Harima 
Kenji," she said.

	"I...are you Tenma-san's mother?" Harima asked as the 
delivery men continued their work around him.

	Megumi blinked.  "No, I'm part of Nara Kentaro's 
family," she said.  "His aunt, sort of."

	"Sort of."

	"Anyway, so you're going to be Al Capone?" she 
asked.

	"Yeah, it's going to rock," he said.

	"Here, try this."  She handed him a baseball bat and he 
took a few swings.

	"Feels good," he said.

	"Good.  Now, we just need to get you properly suited 
up and shave the facial hair and adjust your hairstyle," she 
said.

	"Say WHAT?" Harima asked.

	She took his hand and began to lead him inside.  "Is 
that a natural tan?"

	"Yes," he said.

	"Pity, Capone should be a bit pasty, but there is such a 
thing as going too far, I suppose," Megumi said, sounding 
unconvinced by herself.  "I brought my electric razor, so 
the moustache and beard should come right off."

	"But, I like...," he began.

	"It's important to be METICULOUS in cosplay," 
Megumi said.  "You'll score more points if there are no 
flaws." 

	"Yes, but...," he began.

	"Your hair is the right color, thankfully," she said.  
"We'll need to wash and dry your hair and rearrange it.  
We'll assume you're a young Capone so you can keep all 
your hair," she continued.

	"But..."

	They rounded a corner and found Akira trying to hide 
behind a tapestry.  Megumi dragged her out with her other 
arm.  "Perfect.  I can gussy you up too, while I'm at it," she 
said to Akira.

	"I really need to finish inspecting the walls for paint 
flaws," Akira mumbled.

	"And I have to...," Harima began.

	"We have to do this now before anyone wakes up.  
That's why I hopped the night train to here.  Akira makes a 
very pretty blonde, don't you agree, Harima-san?" Megumi 
asked.

	"She does look very good with the blonde hair," 
Harima said.  "But I..."

	"Just remember, don't get carried away and knock off 
any REAL heads with that bat," Megumi said.  "I spent a 
lot of time faking Babe Ruth's signature, and the blood 
might damage its authenticity," Megumi continued.  

	"You really think so?" Akira asked Harima softly.

	"Yeah, the curly blonde hair's a good look for you, 
gives you more character," Harima said.  "But, Megumi-
san, I..."

	"Hmm, hopefully I'll have time to dress up Nara too," 
Megumi said.

	Harima looked over at Akira.  Akira looked back and 
just shook her head.  There was no escape.

**************

	"Here's the headset," Akira said, tucking an earpiece 
into his ear.  "I will feed you the name of everyone who 
comes to the door so you can greet them by name."

	"Won't they wonder how I know?" Harima asked.

	"They can wonder whatever they like, but they'll find 
it to be very pleasant and it will make them act like they 
know you well.  Enough of that and they'll convince 
themselves you must be an old acquaintance of some 
standing.  Our goal is to make you look like you fit in," 
Akira said to Harima.

	"But I don't really fit into rich society," he said.

	"Yet.  But you'll need to," Akira said.  "Just...never 
mind, you wouldn't know the reference."

	"What?" Harima asked in confusion.

	She's thinking of My Fair Lady, Onna-Harima told 
him.  Tell her, 'Thank you, Professor Higgins.'

	'What?'

	'Just do it!' she told him.

	"Thank you, Professor Higgins," Harima said, doing 
his best to sound completely confident.

	Akira stopped, looked at Harima carefully, then said, 
"Well, I see you do, Eliza.  Then you understand the need 
for this."

	'NOD YOUR HEAD'.

	He nodded.  "I get it now."

	"Good," Akira said.  She adjusted his suit.  "And stay 
awake," she said.  "You can fall down and die once the 
party is over, but it's crucial to show no weakness."

	THAT, he understood. Though having her adjust his 
clothing felt weirdly girlfriendy-boyfriendy to him.  He'd 
dreamed about Tenma doing that for him so many times...

	But those days were gone.  He was running on instinct 
now, not conscious thought or planning; when he tried to 
think about his feelings, his future, any of it, rationally, he 
just ended up in a knot.  But he'd always gotten better 
results by following his instincts.  	
	
	"I understand," he said to Akira, taking another swig 
of coffee.  

	"Good," she said.  "Just be polite, don't panic, and 
listen to my advice and we'll all be fine."

	He nodded.  "I think this is going to go well."

	"I think Imadori is going to do something massive to 
screw with us like you tried doing to him," Akira said.  
"But we haven't time to find out what.  I couldn't find any 
sabotage, but..."

	"I just hope people like all that fancy snack stuff with 
their breakfast," Harima said.  He wasn't even sure what 
some of the stuff people had sent him WAS.

	"The expensiveness of it will impress them and they'll 
feel compelled to show off their sophistication by eating it 
even if they hate it," Akira said.  "Maybe especially if they 
hate it."  She tugged his tie into place.  "Check your tie 
every so often.  It keeps wandering."

	"Yes, Professor," he said.

	She looked at him, then said, "Okay, I get it."  She 
patted his shoulder.  "Knock 'em dead, Kenji."

	"Won't they get mad if I hit them?" Harima asked.

	"Figuratively," she said.

	"Oh right," he said, despite still having no idea what 
she meant.  Figu...ahh, she probably wanted him to do a 
sketch for everyone as they arrived.  Figure drawing.  He'd 
send someone to bring him a sketchpad, then.  Clever, give 
them a souvenir.
	
	"Okay," she said, turning to go into the house.  "Good 
luck.  If you get thirsty or something, just tell me over the 
radio and I'll send you a drink."  

	"Okay," he said.

	She headed in and he waited for the gauntlet of guests 
to begin.

	It was a few minutes later, as a rich dark haired middle 
aged couple and their young boy approached that he 
suddenly wondered...how exactly would she be seeing who 
it was?  Was he on camera?

	He had just enough time to become completely self-
conscious as the couple walked up to him.  Akira's voice 
crackled in his ear.  == Hideyoshi Kenichi and Yuriko and 
their son Jinichi.  Their boy likes giant robot shows. ==

	He began drawing frantically, finishing off a sketch as 
they approached.

	"Hideyoshi-san, I'm glad you and your wife could 
come to the party," Harima said.  "I'm Harima Kenji, your 
host this morning."  He hoped that was formal enough.  

	He knealt to address the shy Jinichi, holding out the 
sketch to him.  "This is a present for you."

	His mother smiled, while his father looked surprised.  
He looked at it and smiled broadly.  "Wow, this is great."  
Jinichi studied it carefully.  "What's it stepping on?"

	"An evil curry-loving Kappabot," Harima said.

	"Ooooh."

	"Thank the nice man," his mother urged him.

	"Thank you!"  Jinichi looked less scared now, and 
Harima smiled, feeling he'd done at least one good thing 
today.

	Jinichi went in with his mother, while Mr. Hideyoshi 
stopped and asked, "I heard there was some sort of trouble 
at the party last night."

	"That was Imadori Kyousuke's party.  He let a bunch 
of dogs and Indians be turned loose on his guests," Harima 
said.  "As part of some giant robot show," Harima said, 
feeling slick.  "Don't worry, your boy will be safe here."

	Mr. Hideyoshi's eyes widened just a touch.  "You have 
a keen insight," he said.

	Harima was a little surprised himself now.  "Thank 
you, sir.  There's a children's room for the kids to play cops 
and robbers.  I can call Miki-san; she's in charge of it."  
Now he understood better why Miki had suggested that.  
You'd get a lot more families with kids in the morning than 
for a late night party.  He wished he'd thought more about 
his likely audience; hopefully his theme would still go over 
well, but now he wasn't sure.

	"I'd appreciate that."

	Harima hooked them up with Miki and gave a sigh of 
relief.  It wouldn't be this much work with every guest, 
would it?

	== Good job, == Akira said.  == We may end up 
getting all the couples with kids this morning, so I hope the 
room is big enough. ==

	== You make do with what you have, == Harima told 
her.  

	The ever-increasing tide of guests certainly forced him 
to do so.

**************

	 Back in Hawaii, Tougo and Mai were on the way 
home through streets still lit by fireworks and punctuated 
by explosions and music.  "Did you KNOW the costume 
was..whatever the hell it is?" Mai demanded of him.

	"I had a feeling it might be useful for bluffing our 
hosts, given who they are," Tougo said.

	"Err?  Why would I have wanted to bluff them?" Mai 
asked in confusion.

	"What, you can't tell?" Tougo asked, clearly surprised 
as he turned to face her.

	She stopped.  "I don't get it."

	"..."

	"Stop staring at me like that!," she said, shaking him 
gently.

	"I can't believe you can't tell," he said.

	"Tell what?" she asked.  "What am I supposed to be 
seeing?"

	"On the other hand, I knew it had to be you in the 
costume, yet you looked so different...," he said 
thoughtfully.

	"TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!" she 
said, shaking him firmly.

	"Hmm, on the other hand, they didn't recognize us 
either...," Tougo said.

	"Err?  They most certainly knew who we are.  Except 
when I was in my costume," Mai said.  "Which, by the 
way, their talking cat gave me a transformation compact to 
help with."

	"You talked to the cat and STILL didn't make the 
connection?" Tougo asked in utter disbelief.

	"What?  You're not saying this is Tenma's pet cat 
come to Hawaii, are you?  They do look kind of similar," 
Mai said.

	It was too much; Tougo had no choice but to faint for 
dramatic effect.

	Mai sighed and dragged him home.

**************	
	
	My party is full of children, Harima thought.  I would 
have done a manga theme if I'd realized everyone would 
flood my cool violence party with munchkins.  This was 
going to require some kind of clever trick, or it might well 
go south even without Ima...dammit, I should have 
assigned someone to watch him.  ==Akira-san, we have a 
problem. ==

	== We do?,== she asked, confused.

	== Someone needs to be watching Imadori so we have 
advanced warning of anything he tries to pull, == Harima 
said.

	== I'll dispatch Nara; the cooks are up and taking over 
the food, == Akira said.

	Harima hoped Nara was up to it.

*************

	Imadori blinked at Nara strung up from the ceiling by 
rope around his feet.  "What's going on?" he asked as he 
walked into Video Store Society HQ, also known as 
Buddha's room.  Buddha himself had just arrived with 
Imadori, hobbling along with Imadori's aid.  Imadori felt 
like he was about to be squashed flat, but he took it 
uncomplainingly, except for a few involuntary grunts and 
groans.

	"He tried to spy on us, but I caught him," 
Yoshidayama said.

	"Good job, Yoshi-kun," Imadori said, throwing him a 
manga in a plastic bag.  

	His eyes widened.  "It's a signed copy of the second 
volume of Alternate Ham-Getter Doujibiron!"

	"Only 500 copies made of it, and there's yours," 
Imadori said.  "Loyalty is rewarded, of course."

	Yoshidayama gave a thumbs up.

	"So, Nara, you must tell us all your secrets," Imadori 
said.  

	"You'll never make me betray Akira-chan!," Nara said 
defiantly.

	"Get Laptop Beta," Imadori said sternly.

	Ishiyama paled.  "I thought we burned that one 
because it was tainted beyond hope."

	"That was before I realized it was useful for dealing 
with traitors," Imadori said.

	"I'm NOT a traitor!," Nara said.

	"You left us behind to date a flat-chested woman," 
Imadori said.  "You have knuckled under to her demands.  
A true man bends the world; it does not bend him," Imadori 
said.  "You leave me no choice.  Bring me Laptop Beta."

	"From where?" Ishiyama asked nervously.

	Imadori looked over at Buddha.  

	"Oh, I just wiped the harddrive and re-installed 
Windows and changed the stickers so no one would 
recognize it.  You've been carrying it around for weeks, 
Kyousuke-kun," Buddha said.

	"..."

	"Then what the hell is in the Laptop Beta box?" 
Imadori asked.

	"I don't know, let's see."

	Buddha went over to the stack of boxes in the corner 
and dug around then pulled out a box labelled 'Laptop Beta' 
in crayon.  "Here we go."

	Imadori frowned.  "I thought I used a marker."

	"I didn't even realize you thought it was still around," 
Buddha said.  The box rattled in his hands.  "Hey, it's 
moving."

	All of them had seen enough porn to know that boxes 
which move under their own power are NEVER good.

	Imadori panicked, throwing it into the air.

	Yoshidayama ran for the door.  

	Ishiyama dove for cover, crashing into two other club 
members and tumbling into the closet.  

	Buddha stared stolidly, hurting too much for moving 
swiftly to be worth it.

	The box hit Nara and sent him swinging like a 
pendulum, breaking apart and showering the room with one 
dozen crazed weasels.  

	"THERE'S WEASELS ON MY FACE!" Imadori 
shouted as one tried to latch on.

	Utter, abject anarchy soon reigned as Yoshidayama 
began to run down the hall, only to see the big old cat that 
lived here charging him.

	"CAT!!!  THE CAT IS BACK!  IT'S IN THE 
WALLS!" he screamed, breaking into total terror as the cat 
chased him.

	It ignored him to move in and attack the weasels once 
it reached the room, leaving Yoshidayama to flee 
screaming for no reason at all.  But he was good at that.

****************

	Eri listened to the distant yelling. It was music to her 
ears.  Until she realized all the yelling would likely mess up 
Harima's party.

	So she strode off towards the yelling; finding 
Yoshidayama, she grabbed his arm to halt his advance.  
"What's going on?" she asked.

	"Weasels and cats have teamed up to wipe out the 
Video club!" Yoshidayama said.

	Those weasels hadn't been cheap, but it sounded like it 
would be worth every yen she'd spent on them.  However, 
she hadn't expected them to get released during Kenji's 
party.  

	I should have waited, she thought.  But I have to act to 
deal with this before it causes any trouble.

	The question, however, was how to stop them; she 
hadn't thought of that part.

	She would have to think fast.

*************

	Harima drew another picture of Ash Ketchum turning 
Pikachu loose on a zombie with a bowl cut.  He patted yet 
another little boy on the head and sent him in with his 
parents.

	The woman who now came up to him had no kids, 
thankfully.  But she was carrying...a copy of the premiere 
of his prize-winning manga!  His eyes widened.  A FAN!

	He gave a big goofy smile, feeling a rush of adrenaline 
that woke him up.  He got ready to sign it.  "Hello, ma'am."  
She looked kind of familiar in her fancy clothing...  "Would 
you like me to sign that?"

	== Kenji-san, don't tell me you're not recognizing my 
mother, Takano Fuuko, == Akira said.

	"Sure, Harima-san," Akira's mother said.  "Make it out 
to 'Takano Fuuko'.  And say hello to my daughter for me, 
as I'm sure you're in radio contact with her."  She handed 
over the manga.

	Harima froze up a moment, then said to her, 
"You...don't read minds, do you?"  His hands shook as he 
signed the manga.

	"Only my daughter's."

	== Tell her I say hello back, == Akira said.

	"She says hello back," Harima said.

	Ask her which character she liked best in your manga 
and do her a special sketch, Onna-Harima told her.  

	"So who did you like best?  I could add a special 
sketch for you," Harima said.

	"Personal service, very nice," Takano-sama said.  "I 
rather liked the ninja-girl."

	Harima did a drawing of Mrs. Takano with the ninja-
girl and passed it to her.  He quickly added Akira as well.  
"There you go."

	Mrs. Takano studied him curiously.  "You are a fine 
artist," she said.

	"Thank you," he said.

	"So why are you after the Sawachika heiress when you 
already have a girlfriend?" Mrs. Takano asked.

	Harima froze up.

	== Mother, I expect you're spying on this frequency, 
== Akira said.  == Can we have this fight later when Kenji-
san doesn't have to greet guests?  There are people coming. 
==

	"I will yield to my daughter's request," Mrs. Takano 
said.  "And..."

	"Kenji-san," Eri said, suddenly emerging.  "I need 
your skills."

	"What?" he asked.

	"There's a bunch of out of control weasels and they 
may wreck your party if not stopped," Eri said.  "I can take 
over greeting guests while you talk them down."

	"Okay," Harima said.  He really needed to rest his 
hands.  "Who brought a bunch of rabid weasels?"

	Eri stared off across the parking lot.  "I don't know.  
Also, Nara is hanging from the ceiling for some reason."

	Mrs. Takano's eyes widened slightly.  "Someone has 
strung up my slave?"

	== They've done what?, == Akira asked tensely.

	"..."  Eri stared at her.

	"..."  Harima stared at her.

	Pistols dropped out of Mrs. Takano's sleeves into her 
hands.  There was a blur and she was gone.

	== Save Kentaro now, == Akira said flatly.  

	Dammit, why does this always happen to me, Harima 
thought, as he ran after her.

************

	Henry and Ami Sawachika were seated at a table with 
Umino, Nyamo, Lars, and several other friends and 
relatives, enjoying their breakfast.  Hanai and Masahiro 
were circulating with Kagura and Sakaki, acting as waiters 
and waitresses to everyone.

	All around them, various couples, singles, and families 
were enjoying a western-style breakfast, chattering away 
with each other, while the 2-C band played on the 
bandstand, light and cheerful jazz and big band music.  
Though the latter didn't work as well with a not-so-big 
band.

	"Mmm, bacon," Lars said, stuffing bacon in his 
mouth.

	Nyamo ate far more delicately, trying to put on her 
very ultra-best manners and being glad that Yukari had 
been too exhausted to get out of bed and come.  "Thank 
you for inviting me to sit with you," she said to Henry and 
Ami.

	Henry smiled.  "We wanted to get to know Umino's 
new girlfriend better.  I'm just glad this is all going well."

	"It's pretty nice," Umino said.  "Hopefully there won't 
be a riot this time."

	"Oh, there may be some sort of 'show'," Ami said.  
"But the food is good, and I think other than the inevitable 
disaster, this will be a good party."

	"I'm rather surprised," Henry said.  "The boy is a 
delinquent."

	"Well, he has...," Ami began.

	A blur passed by at high speed.

	"What was...," Ami began again.

	A second, taller blur passed by at high speed.

	"Did he...," Ami began a third time.

	Nothing happened.

	Ami failed to complete her sentence anyway.

	"What, dear?" Henry asked.

	"I was expecting to be interrupted again, and forgot."

	Everyone face-faulted.

***************  

	Video Clubbers were flailing about wildly; every so 
often, someone crashed into Nara, causing him to swing 
even more wildly.  

	"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Nara joined 
everyone else in screaming.

	There was a blur and the window opened; another blur 
and twelve muzzle flashes.  Rubber bullets flew around the 
room in an elaborate pattern, knocking out the weasels, 
then bouncing off the walls and out the window to finally 
embed themselves harmlessly in the snow.  

	Harima reached the door even as Mrs. Takano slowed 
down enough to slice the rope and catch Nara as he fell into 
her arms.

	Harima and the Video Store club all stared at her as 
she carefully untied Nara, then said, "Are you alright my 
little slave son-in-law?"

	Imadori's mind immediately began constructing a porn 
scenario.  Crucial breakers blew out in his mind and he fell 
over, fainting.

	Buddha said, "Thank you, Takano-sama.  I beg of you 
to consider our weasel-inflicted injuries punishment enough 
for what happened to Nara-san, keeping in mind that tying 
him up did keep him out of the reach of the weasels."

	She looked at him cooly, then turned to Nara.  "Do 
you want me to wreak a horrible vengeance for you, Nara-
san?"

	"I think we're even," Nara said.  "I think I need to lie 
down and get the extra blood back in my legs."

	"Fine.  I will spare you all, but if you touch him again, 
you will regret it," Mrs. Takano said.  She looked down at 
Imadori and frowned.  "This is Imadori Kyousuke?"

	"Uh, yeah," Nara said.

	She pursed her lips and stepped out to Harima.  "I will 
take him to the infirmary.  You had best return to greeting 
guests."

	Harima stared at the stunned weasels.  "I'll take care of 
these weasels first."

	"We could just let them revive and finish the fools 
off," Mrs. Takano said.

	"I can't risk them getting loose in my party," he said.

	"Good point.  I will see you later, then."  She headed 
out with Nara, while Harima got a box and began stuffing it 
full of stunned weasels.

**************
	
	Lala was singing a duet with Karen when Nara's 
parents came in and sat down at a table.  Lala waved, then 
realized what she was doing and felt a little embarrassed.  
Both of them waved back, which made her more 
embarrassed.

	Karen looked over at her curiously, as did Sagano, and 
now she felt about ready to die, though at least most of the 
audience was just listening.  

	Lala was thus too embarrassed to even think about 
who the woman with Nara Goro might be.  Which was 
good as it would have just embarrassed her more.

	She was further distracted when Tenma came in and 
began waving wildly to Karasuma, who didn't seem to 
notice, or perhaps was just unwilling to disrupt his 
performance.  He should be nice to his girlfriend and wave, 
Lala thought.

	Tenma sat down with Sara, Asou, Suga, and Satsuki, 
who were at a table together, and Lala soon forgot about 
her, focusing on sending her performance to Goro.

	The rest of the band could see her power was peaking, 
so Fuyuki signaled to Karen to take her break and get some 
juice while Lala did a solo number.

	As Lala sang to Goro, Karen's phone rang and she 
stepped backstage and answered it.  "Hello?"

	"Evil...weasels...defeated us all...help..." Imadori 
mumbled.

	"What?" she asked.  She shouldn't help him, but he 
sounded like he was in so much pain...She quivered with 
indecision.

	"Someone...put...rabid...weasels...in...our room," 
Imadori mumbled.  "I got bit."

	Her eyes widened.  He really did need her.  She 
shouldn't go; he was just trying to use her again.  But she 
could see him, lying there...

	She had to go.  Lala looked happy to sing to whoever 
that guy was.  So she took off to help Imadori.

************

 	Far away in Hawaii, it was five hours earlier and thus 
still night-time, and Mai was trying to sleep.  However, she 
was awoken by the smell of ice cream.  

	"Mom, you're not sleep-eating again, I hope," she said.

	Oddly, her bedroom had somehow turned into a huge 
palatial space; she was now in a king-sized bed with a nice 
red canopy over it; the walls were marble with elaborate 
carvings of cooks at work and people slaying monsters with 
condiments.  She could glimpse a starry night sky through 
one window and a hint of forest.

	A tall dark-haired woman stood next to the bed, 
wearing an elaborate outfit which looked quite regal, 
except her crown looked rather like a chef's hat made of 
gold with lots of gems and jade inlay.  She had a giant 
spatula propped up against the wall near her, and she was 
busy stuffing herself from a tub of ice cream held in one 
hand, giant spoon in the other.  

	"Who are you and where am I?" Mai asked.

	"I'm your Mother," the woman said.  "Queen Dolly 
Madison V of the Kingdom of the Eastern Lands."

	Mai blinked.  "Wasn't she some American who..."

	"Reincarnation," the Queen said.  

	"With the same name as..."

	"YES," the Queen said quickly.  "Can we get on with 
this vision or are you going to quibble at everything?"  She 
sounded irritated.

	"Are you sure your name is...," Mai began.

	"I AM NOT HIDING MY STUPID REAL NAME!!!" 
the Queen shouted, then looked embarrassed.  "Really."

	Mai made apologetic gestures.  "How can you be my 
mother when..."

	"Look, thousands upon thousands of years ago, before 
the last ice age, there were magical kingdoms on every 
planet.  The Earth had several, because it was the most 
fertile.  What you now know as the 'Americas' were the 
'Western Lands' in those days," Queen Dolly said.

	"I see, but they're east of...," Mai began.

	"We're NEVER going to finish this vision if you keep 
questioning everything," Queen Dolly said firmly.  "Do you 
want to know your glorious heritage or NOT?"

	"Okay, okay, sorry, sorry," Mai said, waving her 
hands again.

	"Now, as I was saying, the Golden Kingdom rules 
what you call 'Eurasia'."

	"I don't..." Mai began, then was silenced by a GLARE.

	Queen Dolly took a minute to eat more ice cream to 
calm herself.

	Finally, she said, "The Kingdom of Ivory controlled 
your 'Africa'."  She paused to see if glaring was necessary, 
but Mai stayed silent, though the smell of the ice cream was 
making her hungry.

	"And we ruled the Western Lands."  Pause for 
possible glare.  

	"What about Australia?" Mai asked.

	"We used Australia as a giant wilderness park and 
experimental zone for creating strange species," Queen 
Dolly said.  "Anyway.  You are my reincarnated daughter.  
The tide of magic is coming in, and a new age will soon 
begin.  You will have to help humanity face it, in the days 
to come."

	"Tide of magic?" Mai asked.

	"Have you ever noticed how strange life is for your 
generation?" Queen Dolly asked.

	Mai thought about various recent events.  "Yes."

	"Magic moves in tides with a duration of centuries and 
millenia.  When the tide comes in, the power of magic rises 
and all the things that can't live without it come crawling 
out of their hiding places and besiege the world.  It is then 
that magical warriors are born to defend mankind against 
the creatures of the night.  Though given humanity's 
scientific advances in your age, you may find it easier this 
time around.  Anyway, you and your honor guard were..."

	A bell chimed.  A woman's voice said, "Sorry, this 
vision has reached the end of its alloted span."

	"But I'm not done yet!" Queen Dolly said.

	"Sorry, your highness, the rules are the rules," the 
woman said.  "Good luck, Princess Condiment."

	"Princess CONDIMENT?" Mai asked.  "What kind of 
crazy..."  No wonder she calls herself Dolly Madison, Mai 
thought.

	"Exit Night, Enter Light," the woman's voice sang.

	Mai woke up in her bed wondering if it had been a real 
vision or the result of too much American food.

	No way to tell, so she went back to sleep.
	 
***************

 	"We missed their arrival," Zenigata grumbled, 
studying the house through binoculars.

	"Probably because we chased 'Speed Racer' and 
whoever the...whoever that other person was all the way to 
Hokkaido!" Officer Kobayashi said, exhausted.

	"We will have to infiltrate," Zenigata said.  "Everyone 
change into casual clothing.  Kobayashi, call your son.  He 
can get us in, right?"

	"Uh...I don't know.  But I'll see," Kobayashi said.

	"Let's get on it, then," Zenigata said.  "Time's a 
wasting."

*****************

	To Harima's confusion, those who had come to the 
party early had not had copies of his manga, but the later-
comers all seemed to have it, requiring him to sign it and 
do sketches related to it.

	Not that he MINDED, but it did seem like everyone 
was more interested in that than his carefully chosen party 
theme.  And why had everyone after Akira's mother had a 
copy but not those before?

	He had Eri with him, greeting guests; she was wearing 
a very nice black dress, though she had a weird sort of tiara 
thing with dangling shinies on, which looked kind of odd 
with it.  It wasn't as sexy as the outfit she'd worn the night 
before, but he had to make himself not think about that 
outfit as it led down roads he shouldn't be walking when 
talking to small children and their wealthy parents who 
could hound him to the end of the earth if he accidentally 
drew Eri in that outfit.

	He'd only had to eat two sketches so far.

	For the moment, though, things had finally calmed 
down enough for him to relax.

	Eri looked over at him, then said, "You look way 
better than usual, Kenji-san."

	"What, you think I normally look bad?" he asked.  He 
hadn't ASKED for a makeover, but trying to stop Megumi 
was like trying to stop the sea with a potato.  Or something.  
Though he did think his suit was pretty snazzy.  For what it 
cost, IT HAD TO BE.

	"No, you idiot, I'm trying to..."  She closed her eyes a 
moment, as if listening to someone, and he wondered if 
Akira was whispering her advice.

	This is not the time to waste on fighting when you 
could be kissing, you fool, Onna-Harima told him.

	Eri opened her eyes.  "Kenji-san, I was just..."

	He swept her into a kiss; her eyes widened, then 
closed.  They lost themselves in a passionate smooch.

	== Incoming, == Akira said to Harima.

	He didn't notice, too busy learning that the inside of 
Eri's mouth tasted rather of orange today.  

	== Kenji-san, guests are coming, == Akira said 
firmly.

	He LIKED orange.

	== Kenji-san, snap out of it! == Akira shouted.

	Harima vibrated and let go of Eri, stumbled a step, and 
put his hands to his ears.

	"Umm, hello?" the tall, portly man at the door with his 
short, skinny wife and their two excited little girls asked.

	"Ahh!  I'm sorry!" Harima said.  "I'm Harima Kenji.  
And this is Sawachika Eri.  I was just trying to find 
something she'd lost in her mouth."

	Eri stared at him like he'd gone mad.

	== This is Tokuzawa Hayao and his wife Shiiko and 
his daughters Mei and Himeko, == Akira said.

	Mr. Tokuzawa laughed.  "I see."

	"GIVE US A HORSEY RIDE!," one of the little girls 
demanded urgently of Harima.

	He blinked.

	"Dears, you can't make everyone you meet give you 
one," Shiiko said.

	"It's fine," Harima said.  He drew his manga to try and 
make children happy, like it had always made him happy.  
And that was the purpose of this party, to make people 
happy.  So he could...could...so he could get Eri free of that 
idiot, Imadori!

	He got down and gave them a little ride while the 
parents chatted with Eri.  Finally, their father said, "That's 
enough, kids."

	"Aww, but he's fun!" Himeko said.

	Their mother lifted them off, and he did a little sketch 
of the two of them on a horse, then patted their heads.  
"Here you go."

	"Horsie!" Himeko said.  

	"You really didn't have to do that," Mrs. Tokuzawa 
said.  "We really spoil them too much."

	"Parties are for having fun, right?" Harima asked.  "I 
like to see kids smile."

	"Well, thank you," Mr. Tokuzawa said.  "See you 
later."  And they headed in.

	"That was sweet of you," Eri said once they were 
gone.

	He stretched.  "I could have carried five of them if my 
back was a little bigger."

	== Tarakawa Kenichi, the guy whose company made 
our Pachinko machines, is coming, == Akira said.

	== Rock, those are good machines, == Harima said.

	Mr. Tarakawa approached Harima, looking serious; 
Harima studied him; the man had a look of endless energy 
and contained force.  Rather like himself, really, though he 
assumed Mr. Tarakawa was containing...business 
energies...fighting business spirit...rather than the urge to 
punch people out.  Out to make a profit however he could.  

	As he walked up, Harima instinctively drew a quick 
sketch of Mr. Tarakawa diving into a pool of money, with 
Scrooge McDuck waiting behind him on the ladder up to 
the diving board.  "This is for you, sir," Harima said.

	He took it, blinked, then laughed.  "I see I circulate in 
high circles," he said, deadpan.  

	Eri looked at it, blinked, then laughed loudly.

	"You look well suited to it," Harima said.  

	"You flatter me, lad," he said, his voice a little rough, 
though kindly.  

	"And this is Sawachika Eri," Harima said to Mr. 
Tarakawa.  "My co-hostess."

	Mr. Tarakawa swung his gaze back and forth between 
them thoughtfully, then said, "Yes, we've met," he said to 
Harima.  "How are you, Sawachika-san?"

	"Well, sort of met," Eri said.  "I'm doing much better 
today than yesterday."

	"I hope there won't be any Indian or dog attacks," Mr. 
Tarakawa said.  "Certainly one might expect the East India 
Company to retaliate, after all."

	Harima laughed nervously.  "Well, we do have 
security in place to prevent that," he said.

	== We do?, == Akira asked.

	"Ahh, good, then.  I didn't want to wear my running 
shoes to a formal party," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "So, are you 
enjoying working with Sawachika-san, Harima-san?" he 
asked.

	"Yeah, though really, I did most of the work setting 
this up," he bragged.

	"His ego bears most of the burden of labor," Eri said 
with just a little edge.

	"Yeah...wait, what do waffles have to do with this?" 
Harima asked.

	They stared blankly at each other, while Mr. Tarakawa 
fought the urge to laugh.  

	"Baka," Eri said, shaking her head.  "He's normally 
not this stupid, Tarakawa-san."

	"Stupid?  I'm NOT stupid," Harima said.  "I got a 
better grade than you in art!"

	No, you fool, don't get in a fight with her, Onna-
Harima said.  Not here!

	He ignored his inner girlfriend.

	"And I got a better grade in everything else!," Eri 
snapped, then took a deep breath.  

	"Not good at school?  How do you expect to make it 
in this world with no education?" Mr. Tarakawa asked 
sharply of Harima.  "This world chews up the uneducated 
and spits them out; they end up working long hours in 
factories for no pay.  Is that the future you want?"

	"I'm going to art school," Harima said.  "I'm a 
published manga-ka."

	"Most manga-ka work long hard hours for low pay, 
then fail," Mr. Tarakawa said, crossing his arms.  "What 
makes you think you'll be any different?"

	"I put my heart and soul and passion into my work!  
And the kids love it!," Harima said.  "That's who I'm 
writing for.  When my...when..."  His voice cracked up; 
thinking about when his father left always either pissed him 
off or made him cry.  He couldn't stand crying in public.  
But now, it was like he was back then, all of a sudden.

	"Kenji-kun, you don't have to talk about it," Eri said; 
the anger had drained out of her, and now there was just 
worry and compassion.  She took his hand, firmly.

	== Your private pain isn't his business, == Akira said 
firmly.  ==Do you want me to have someone come in to 
relieve you? ==

	Harima shook his head at Akira, hoping she'd 
understand.  He stared at Tarakawa, who was staring at him 
impassively with his deep green eyes under red hair shot 
through with grey.  "My father was a useless fuck who 
abandoned us when I was a lot younger.  It's my number 
one goal to be nothing like him whatsoever.  I'M NOT A 
FUCKING QUITTER LIKE HIM.  When times got hard, 
he turned tail and ran like a cowardly shit.  FUCK THAT," 
he said.

	== Swearing is probably not a good idea at this party, 
== Akira cautioned Harima.

	Eri watched quietly, still holding Harima's hand, even 
though his clenched grip was somewhat painful.

	Tarakawa's eyes narrowed and his gaze intensified as 
he listened quietly.

	"If I decide I'm going to do something, IT GETS 
DONE.  Even if it fucking kills me," Harima said, half-
shouting.  "I don't give up, ever.  Anyone who wants to 
stop me is going to have to beat me into the ground until it's 
physically impossible for me to move.  I'm already 
published, I have a contract, and I am going to be a famous 
manga artist," Harima said, his voice heated.

	"People are going to read my stories and it will make 
them laugh and cry and find the strength to carry on, the 
strength I found to be something better than my useless 
quitter coward of a father!  I'm going to make the children 
smile instead of crying!  I'm going to make people learn 
what love really is.  I'm not very smart and I'm a crappy 
student, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!  Because I will 
keep trying until I DO succeed!"  Harima was shouting 
now, and far away, Akira was praying this wouldn't cause 
more trouble.

	"Fall down eight times...no, fall down seven times, get 
up ten...dammit, whatever that proverb is!" Harima 
bellowed.  "I'm only a bad student because it never 
mattered before!  But I'm going to do better because I have 
to!  I am not going to throw this chance away!  I will 
become the greatest manga artist in Japan if I have to DIE 
in the process, and everyone will know my name!  And if I 
die, at least I'll die knowing what love is, unlike my useless 
father!" Harima's voice echoed across the parking lot and 
his body shook with anger.

	Eri held onto his hand, though she almost bit her lip 
from the pain.  She wanted to say something, but she didn't 
know what.

	"I can do ANYTHING if I just put my will to it," 
Harima said.  "I don't run away, I MAKE people run.  Does 
that answer your question?" he said, trying to force himself 
to shout less, though his voice was still full of rage.

	"You can't simply will the universe into the shape you 
want," Mr. Tarakawa said tightly.  "Or I'd have hit it big 
long before I did."

	"I know," Harima said.  "But I can will myself.  The 
biggest thing I need for art school are the skills I already 
have.  I just have to raise my grades in other things instead 
of slacking off on them," he said firmly.  "And I CAN 
control MYSELF with my will.  You've seen how well I 
can draw."

	"Yes, you have a real talent," Mr. Tarakawa said 
softly, still looking stiff, but his voice more natural.  "But 
even talent and will can't always overcome chance or 
destiny.  If you don't have those..."

	"Fuck destiny," Harima said.  "I'll punch the Fates in 
the guts until they give me the destiny I want.  If I succeed, 
I'll earn it myself and if I fail, it'll be no one else's fault but 
mine."  His voice was calmer now, though still full of steel.

	== Exactly,== Akira said.

	 "So what are you going to do to him if you ever find 
him?," Mr. Tarakawa asked, now trying to look impassive, 
though Harima was pretty sure he'd just intimidated the hell 
out of the man.  

	Where did he get off being so nosy, anyway?

	"Beat the shit out of him over and over and over 
again," Harima said.  "Then see if any of my friends are 
bored and want a few shots in at him."

	Mr. Tarakawa nodded.  "I see.  Was he the sort of man 
to be easily beaten up?"

	"Hell no, he was a big old thug, but I'm a bad-ass and 
he's a coward," Harima said.  "I can kick his fucking ass six 
ways to Sunday."

	"Kenji is an incredible fighter," Eri said, sounding a 
little excited by it.

	"Well, good luck, then," Mr. Tarakawa said.  "I had 
better get some breakfast."

	"Enjoy the party," Harima said, watching him go.

	"I think you can do it," Eri said.

	"Good," Harima said.

	"So long as I kick your ass and don't let you slack off," 
she continued, smiling.

	"Hey!"
 
	She giggled, then said, "As long as we don't have 
another riot, I really think this party is going to go down 
well with my parents."

	"I hope so," Kenji said.  "I'd have done a different 
theme if I'd realized everyone would be bringing their kids, 
though."

	"Well, it comes off as a 1920s and 30s theme party, 
really.  So that works," Eri said.  

	"Is that why you're wearing the dangly thing?" he 
asked.

	"I should have worn a flapper dress too, but I didn't 
have one and they're like sacks.  Ugly," Eri said.

	"You're never ugly," Harima said.

	Eri's eyes widened.  "Thank you."

	"Just bossy sometimes," he continued.

	"I am not bossy," she said firmly.

	Henry walked up.  "Is everything alright?"

	"Fine," Harima said.  "The Pachinko man just decided 
to get nosy and had to be put in his place."

	"It is wiser to not yell at one's guests," Henry said 
coolly.

	"It's wiser to not go poking into people's family 
business," Harima said.  "Which he was."

	== Let's not have another fight, Kenji, == Akira said 
to him.

	"But I have guests to take care of," Harima said; more 
people were crossing the lot.

	Henry nodded.  "Then I'll leave you to it."

************** 

	Karen arrived at the room to find the Video Store Club 
all beat up and lying around moaning, though she noticed it 
didn't stop Ishiyama playing some hand-held video game as 
he laid on the floor and moaned.  "What happened?"

	"Someone switched rabid weasels for a laptop," 
Imadori moaned.  "Help..."

	Karen frowned, then picked up Imadori gently; she 
could only take one at a time without probably hurting 
them more, she feared.  "I'll see if I can get help.  Any idea 
who did it?"

	"Not a clue," Imadori said.  "Though I'd guess Harima 
wanted to finish us off so we couldn't interfere with his 
party."

	"You shouldn't interfere with our party," Karen said, 
now hauling him down the hallway.  "Can you call 
Nakamura-san to help?"

	"Oh, good idea," Imadori said, making the call.  He 
lay his head against Karen's shoulder.  "I knew you'd 
come."

	"Don't get any ideas," she said.  "I'm over you and I 
have a new boyfriend, but you are my classmate and I don't 
like seeing people in pain."  Especially him.  "So someone 
planted these in your room?"

	"Yeah, if not for the angel of death, we'd have all been 
killed."

	"Angel of Death?"

	"She said Nara was her slave and she shot all the 
weasels and I think she's Takano's mother," Imadori said.  
"She's scary."

	They reached the infirmary, where Nara was lying on 
a bed.  "You okay?" Karen asked him.

	"I'm mostly fine now," Nara said.  "Just sleepy."  He 
yawned.  

	Karen carefully laid Imadori down.  "Going to start 
getting the others."

	"Don't leave me!  She may come back!"

	"I'm supposed to be performing," Karen said.  "And I 
don't think Akira's mother will hurt you.  Goodbye, 
Imadori-kun."  And she headed out.

***********
	
	Yoshidayama had recovered enough to go out to the 
party in hopes of finding Jenny.  However, it looked like 
she wasn't going to make it, or not until late, anyway, so he 
got some food and sat down to eat, ignoring stares from 
various rich people.

	Finally, however, a kid came up to him.  "Are you an 
alien?" the kid asked.  He had short black hair and was 
perhaps ten years old.

	"An alien?  What gives you that stupid idea?" 
Yoshidayama asked.

	"You have big alien hair," the kid said.

	"I am NOT an alien," Yoshidayama said irritably.  
"Haven't you ever listened to rap music?"

	"Momma says it rots the brain," the kid said snottily.

	Yoshidayama reminded himself that killing a little kid 
would get him in trouble.  "Fine.  Scoot, kid, you're 
bothering me."

	"Do you stab people with your hair?" the kid asked.

	Yoshidayama ignored him, working on his waffles and 
melon.  

	The kid tugged his leg.  "Do you stab people with your 
hair?"

	Yoshidayama focused every drop of his will and 
began slicing his melon into pieces to make it faster to eat 
without having to cut every piece as he went along.

	The kid tugged Yoshidayama's pants harder, making 
his leg swim.  "Do. You. Stab. People. With. Your. Hair?"  
He cleanly spoke each word slowly, as if trying to talk to a 
deaf person in the manner that never works but people do it 
ANYWAY.

	The kid was beginning to drive Yoshidayama insane.  
"Stop touching me," he said to the kid.

	"Your hair," the kid began, shaking his leg again.

	"WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME SUCH A STUPID 
QUESTION?" Yoshidayama yelled.

	The kid froze up, then started crying.  

	People turned and stared at Yoshidayama, who froze 
up.  Then he recovered.  "C'mon, kid, stop crying, I only 
yelled."

	"WAAAAHHH!!!!"  the kid ran off across the room 
towards his parents.  

	Yoshidayama studied the bulk of the man's father and 
decided to make himself scarce.  Great, all my efforts to be 
the greatest delinquent in our school and all I can do is 
scare a ten year old, he thought as he fled.

***************
	
	"Yo, Kobayashi-san, Ginza-san, looking good," 
Harima said.  They were both dressed up in nice formal 
clothing.

	"It was as close as we could come to your theme," 
Kasumi said.  "And you look really nice clean-shaven and 
in a nice suit."  She smiled at Harima.

	"You think so?" Harima asked.

	"You really do," Eri said to him, smiling.

	"Harima-san, Sawachika-san, my dad and some of his 
pals want to come to the party, probably to mooch off the 
breakfast buffet.  They're all cops, so I'm sure they won't 
cause any trouble," Shinichi said.

	"So long as they don't try to bust any of our 
'gangsters', that'll be fine," Harima said.  

	Shinichi shook his head.  "Little danger of that, I'm 
sure."

	"That's fine," Harima said.  "Just make 'em dress 
nice."

	"Of course," Shinichi said.  He and Kasumi started to 
come in as he got his phone out.  "See you all later!"

	"I think they're here to observe something in the area," 
Eri said.  "They were lurking around yesterday and then 
there was that cop car chase that was on the news this 
morning."

	 "Well, extra security can't hurt, right?" Harima asked 
Eri.

	"Yeah, it can't hurt."

	Distantly, thunder boomed.  

*************
	
	"No serious damage," Mrs. Takano said to her 
daughter.  "I expect he'll be up and about once he has a 
little lie-down."

	Akira frowned.  "Someone planted those weasels, and 
unless it's Eri's revenge, I'd think Harima...but he was 
clearly surprised."

	They were in the security room, watching the monitors 
while Akira fed Harima advice and information at the front 
door.  

	"He's not the type to be any good at lying, either," 
Mrs. Takano said.  

	"Kenji is a terrible liar," Akira said.  She reminded 
herself that if it was Eri, Eri would have had no idea 
Kentaro would end up in the middle of it.  So she shouldn't 
crush Eri.  Even if she wanted to crush something.  
"Hopefully, that will keep them from causing any further 
trouble."

	"I should get back to...oh dear," Takano-san said, 
turning to stare at the monitor.

	An old man and some middle-aged men in ill-fitting 
suits were coming in.  "Someone you don't want to meet?" 
Akira asked.

	Mrs. Takano frowned.  "Inspector Zenigata.  Probably 
with plainclothes Interpol."

	"..." 

	"I can hardly imagine what they're doing here," Mrs. 
Takano said.  "It can't be me; they could have busted me a 
long time ago.  And your father is dead for many years; I 
would think they would have noticed."

	"Would they?" Akira asked.  "It's not like he 
advertised his old identity once you two retired from that 
line of work and went into a new one," she continued.

	"I do not need this," Mrs. Takano said sternly to the 
monitor. 

	It ignored her, and they watched Harima take 
instructions on how to do a drawing of Zenigata chasing 
Lupin III; Zenigata watched Harima very closely through 
this.

	Mrs. Takano's eyebrows twitched.  "He's giving 
Harima that 'suspicious' look of his.  But why?"

	"Maybe he thinks...," Akira began.

	"Harima is far too young," Mrs. Takano said.  "Your 
father was never THAT good."  She paused.  "Sometimes."  
Her left fist clenched and unclenched.  "Okay, it's a far-
fetched suspicion, but not entirely so.  On the other hand, 
he's not arresting him yet."

	"He may wish to make sure he 'finds the others' first," 
Akira said, sighing.

	"Senile old man," Mrs. Takano said.  "We're going to 
have to ensure he doesn't make a mess."

	Akira hoped there would be some way to do so.

****************		 

	"I don't see their disguise expert anywhere," 
Kobayashi-san said to Zenigata, sighing.

	"CLEARLY, she is in disguise," Zenigata said.  "I 
want to find them all before we try anything.  Otherwise, 
whoever we miss will ruin our plans.  I know this from 
long, painful experience."

	Maybe we'll be lucky and she won't show up, 
Kobayashi thought.  But I'm never THAT lucky.

	They approached the Sawachika table, and Zenigata 
took his hat off.  "Henry-san, Sawachika-sama, good 
morning."

	"Good day, Inspector.  I'm glad you came," Henry 
said.  "You're going to run yourself into an early grave if 
you don't learn to take a few vacations."  He sounded 
worried.

	"Oh, I'm here on business also.  So how is your father 
doing?  And Benjamin-san?"

	"Father is the same old tyrant full of rantings about 
how no one since Churchill was good for anything, as 
always," Henry said.  "And Uncle Ben just got his 40 year 
service pin and will likely keep in the force until they make 
him retire."

	"Good," Zenigata said.  "He was a good assistant to 
me back in the eighties."

	"You mentioned business?" Ami asked, worried.  
"This is just a party about gangsters, not..."

	Zenigata looked around, then pulled out a chair.  "I 
have very bad news for you."

	"There's not a horde of people dressed up as...I don't 
know...vikings...coming to attack, is there?" Henry asked, 
sighing.

	"Vikings?  In Japan?  You didn't pay much attention in 
geography or history, I see," Zenigata said sadly.  "This 
isn't Britain, you know."

	Henry's eyebrows twitched.  "I know."

	"We do have security to keep out armed robbers," Ami 
began.

	"Not these criminals," Zenigata said sadly.  "I'm afraid 
we have reason to believe your daughter has been 
kidnapped and her place taken by Lupin III."

	"..."  Henry stared mindlessly at Zenigata, who now 
spread his pictures of Eri on a rampage with a horse and 
rifle and hunting coat, being chased by police, out on the 
table.

	Ami said, "I see Eri did some things she's going to be 
in trouble for, but I don't see how this proves she is Lupin 
III.  Also, isn't he dead?"

	"It's what he WANTS people to think," Zenigata said.  
"Anyway, we've identified every member of his gang here 
but one."  He spread out his pictures of Hanai, Harima, and 
Yakumo, identifying them one by one, and finally pointing 
to Yakumo.  "We haven't spotted her here yet, but she's 
probably in disguise."

	"I am quite certain my daughter has not been replaced 
by Lupin III," Ami said.  "And I won't tolerate you 
disrupting our New Years Day parties with flashy arrests of 
teenagers."  Her voice was firm.  "Unless you want to 
become the target of false arrest lawsuits, you're going to 
have to get some ACTUAL evidence before you try 
anything."

	"I must confess I don't really see the connection 
either," Henry said.  "And we've had enough riots for this 
month, anyway."

	"If I don't strike now...," Zenigata began.

	"You won't ruin the party.  Come back when you have 
some evidence," Ami said.  "Now, would you like to have 
some breakfast?"

	"I suppose I should get my strength up," Zenigata said, 
frowning.

	He gave Kobayashi a meaningful look.  A meaning 
which evaded Kobayashi's comprehension.  So Kobayashi 
hustled off to try and look busy, feeling relieved.

**************

	Harima walked into the control room just in time to 
find Akira clinging to some of the equipment with her legs 
while keeping her flailing mother in a headlock.  "If he sees 
you, it'll just confirm his insane fantasies," Akira said 
loudly, looking much more flustered than usual.

	"Uh, what?" Harima asked.  "I was thinking my 
headset gave out, as you hadn't said anything in a while."

	"Kenji, I need you to help restrain my mother," Akira 
said, strained.

	"Let go of me!  I have to beat Zenigata until coins 
come out of his head!", Mrs. Takano said urgently, trying 
to wiggle free.

	"Uh, it is kind of hard to grapple women without it 
getting a little improper and I do, uh, have a fiancee and a 
girlfriend...," Harima said, half-approaching, but warily.

	"She's likely to try to kill the police inspector, which 
will wreck your party and your chances to get Eri's hand in 
marriage," Akira said.

	Harima was on Mrs. Takano like a sack of bricks 
falling from orbit two seconds later.  She stared in utter 
surprise at how well she'd been pinned down.

	Akira flipped over and closed and locked the door, 
knowing someone would otherwise walk in and get the 
wrong idea.

	That's just how things work.

	"Come on, calm down," Harima said.  "What the hell 
is going on?"

	Akira licked her lips, then looked at her mother, who 
looked back at her.  "It's up to you, honey.  I'm not 
ashamed," she said.  

	Akira looked over at Harima thoughtfully.  "Well, you 
should know, since your head is one of those on the line."

	"Say what?  You didn't gamble me away to 2-D or 
something, did you?" Harima asked warily.

	"No, only you would do that," Akira said.  "You must 
tell no one."

	"Tell no one what?" Harima asked.

	"What I'm about to tell you," Akira said.

	"I can't tell anyone something I don't know," Harima 
said.

	Akira paused, cocked her head slightly, then said, 
"You need to know anyway."

	Harima stared at her in confusion as they continued.

	"Have you ever heard of Lupin III?"

	"The famous thief?  Didn't he die trying to steal a 
nuclear reactor?" Harima asked.

	"You can get up; I promise I won't make a break for 
it," Mrs. Takano now said.

	Harima looked at Akira, who nodded.  He stood up.  
"Go on?"

	"He faked his own death, so as to enter a new phase of 
life with my mother," Akira continued.

	"What, your mother cheated on your dad with Lupin 
III?" Harima asked, looking shocked.  "He was kind of 
ugly, in my opinion."

	Mrs. Takano scowled, and Akira frowned.

	"No, I'm saying he married my mother," Akira said.

	"Now that must have really pissed your dad off," 
Harima said, shaking his head.

	"Lupin III is my father," Akira said calmly, though her 
voice seemed a little strained.

	"I...wait, what?  Is this one of those Darth Vader 
scenario things?," Harima asked.

	"He faked his death, changed his name, and married 
me and we had Akira together," Mrs. Takano snapped.  
"Then he died later because of...well, I can't talk about 
that," she said, grimacing.

	"Oh.  So your father used to be Lupin III, then he went 
underground.  So what..."  Harima paused.  "Wait, you're 
not saying my Dad was one of Lupin's gang members, are 
you?"

	"I don't think so, as Jigen never settled down and 
Goemon married a quiet Japanese girl and has an eminently 
boring life as a family head now," Mrs. Takano said.  "But 
it would seem the giant moron Zenigata believes you are 
Jigen in disguise.  Because he is an idiot."

	"Jigen is an idiot?  Are you saying I'm an idiot?"  
Harima scowled.

	"You're definitely an idiot.  Jigen is not, therefore, you 
can't be Jigen," Mrs. Takano said.

	"Oh, ok...hey, wait!" Harima protested.

	Akira smiled slightly.

	"Anyway.  We need to get rid of him without 
wrecking your party," Akira said.

	"I have an idea but I don't know how to carry it out," 
Harima said.

	"Go on?"

	"Well, if we disguised someone else as Lupin III, then 
made sure Zenigata saw Eri and Lupin at the same time, 
he'd have to conclude Eri wasn't Lupin, right?" Harima 
said.

	"Yes, but unless mother is hiding secret ski..."  Akira 
paused.  "Wait, you're not suggesting..."

	"Yes," Harima said.  "The hard part, though, is 
choosing someone who can actually evade being captured."  
He paused.  "And doesn't need to stay here for the party."

	Mrs. Takano said, "Is there a disguise expert in the 
house?"

	"Nara's aunt Megumi," Harima said.

	"If she could make Karasuma able to pass as me, she 
could make someone suitable look like Lupin," Akira said.  
"But we need someone who can credibly pass..."  She 
paused.  "Well, she is good at..."

	"You're not suggesting...," Harima said warily.

	"Who else can take on a role so convincingly?" Akira 
asked.

	"Please stop speaking in coded half-sentences," Mrs. 
Takano said tensely.

	"My friend Tenma.  She's a genius of...cosplay," Akira 
said.

	"You really think that..."

	"Combined with Megumi's skills, yes," Akira said.

	"The problem will be making her stop," Harima said.

	"A risk we will have to take," Akira said, getting out 
her phone.  "Sometimes, you just have to gamble."

*************

	"So what are we going to do?," Officer Takichi asked 
Zenigata.

	"We find something they ARE guilty of, to use as a 
pretext.  Disperse, mingle, gossip, gather info on them," 
Zenigata said.  "Make this old man proud of you."

	Kobayashi went to gossip with his son, who was 
dancing with his girlfriend.  He showed him the photos.  
"You know any of them, son?"

	Shinichi identified them all.  "What's going on?"

	"The old man thinks they're up to no good," 
Kobayashi said.  He couldn't stand to admit how much of a 
loon the old man really was in more precise terms.

	"Well, Harima's a bit of a punk, but Hanai, except for 
being a master of seducing women, is a straight-up guy.  
Tsukamoto is too withdrawn to cause anyone trouble, I 
think.  And well, that's the Sawachika heiress.  They'll sue 
your heads off," Shinichi said.

	"Seducer of women, eh?"  Kobyashi frowned.  "How 
many?"

	"Well, he has a foursome with one of his classmates 
and two of my friends," Shinichi began.

	"Three women at once?"

	"One of them is a man," Shinichi said.  "You've met 
Masahiro, right?"

	"So a seducer of everyone, not just women," 
Kobayashi said, shaking his head.

	"Pretty much, I guess," Shinichi said.  "I was kind of 
surprised at him seducing a guy too.  Anyway, I think your 
boss is off his nut again."

	"That would imply he was ever ON it," Kobayashi 
mumbled.  "Anyway, keep your eyes open, watch out for 
trouble."

	"Of course," Shinichi said.

	Kobayashi turned to Kasumi.  "Good day, Kasumi-
chan.  Please keep my son out of trouble."

	She smiled.  "Of course, Kobayashi-sama."

	Once he was gone, Shinichi shook his head.  "This 
will be messy."

	"Oh, I hope not," Kasumi said.

	"But not for us, this time, I hope."  

	"Yeah."

****************

	Shigeo protested futilely as Madoka applied the 
makeup, far away in another city.  "I didn't think you were 
serious!"

	"I'm always serious," Madoka said.  "You lost the bet, 
so you get to be the woman at the new years' party."

	"But...but..."  His hands flailed pointlessly.

	"You'll be so cute; everyone will love you," Madoka 
said, going back to work.

	"I already have a girlfriend!"  he protested.

	"Oh, I'll be there as your big strong boyfriend to drive 
them all off.  It'll be fun," Madoka said cheerfully.

	Some men wouldn't have put up with this.

	But Shigeo was in love.

	And a chump.

	So Madoka was the perfect woman for him, really.

************

	Back in the main plot, Harima stared at Lupin-Tenma.  
Megumi was still reshaping Tenma's nose, but otherwise, 
the resemblance was uncanny.  "Where did her hair go?"

	"It's all tucked up inside the wig," Megumi said.

	"But...it all fits?"

	"It lets me reshape her head's structures to be more 
Lupin-like," Megumi whistled cheerfully as she worked.  

	"I'm the greatest of thieves!" Tenma said, her voice 
changed by a vibration device at the base of her throat 
inside her collar.  "I will steal...steal...umm, we need an evil 
plot for me."

	"You've come to steal the valuable Sawachika 
heiress," Megumi said.  "Because you want to marry her."

	Mrs. Takano vibrated gently.

	"Or maybe just sleep with her.  Anyway, you can run 
off with her, Harima-san and Akira-chan and Kentaro-kun 
rescue her from you, you escape, and Zenigata runs off into 
the wilderness to find Lupin, never to be seen again, while 
our heroine and heroes have victory sex with Sawachika-
san and each other and it all ends happily."

	Harima said, "..."

	Akira stared at Megumi, the stare of someone who 
doesn't know how to evade someone else's will, yet knows 
they should.

	Mrs. Takano said, "That...umm..."

	"Well, I'm sure you're worried about teen pregnancy, 
but I gave Kentaro-kun a box of condoms."  She looked at 
Akira.  "He has been using them, right?"

	"Yes," Akira said.  They mostly remembered to use 
them, anyway.  She reminded herself to not forget.  "But 
I'm not...I mean, Kenji-kun and I don't...we..."  She was 
getting flustered again, and hated it.  

	Though Kenji was handsome, and he probably would 
be...no, don't think those thoughts, she thought.

	Harima tried to speak, but only babble came out.

	Mrs. Takano said, "My daughter has a boyfriend and 
Harima already has too many girlfriends."  Her voice was 
quite firm.

	"Hey, I only have one girlfriend," Harima said.  "Eri's 
my fiancee."

	Mrs. Takano looked over at him, saying, "You see no 
contradiction in that?"

	"Technically, she'll only be your fiancee if you win," 
Akira said, happy to shift ground to quibbling about 
Harima's love life and away from any and all suggestions 
from Megumi.

	"Now, now, the human heart is large enough to hold 
many loves.  And friends can have victory sex too," 
Megumi said.  "But that's up to them to decide."

	"Hmm, as Lupin, should I be spreading my love 
around to all and sundry?" Lupin-Tenma asked.

	"Yes," Megumi said.

	"Not at all," Mrs. Takano said sharply.

	"From what I've heard," Harima said.

	"No," Akira said firmly.

	Lupin-Tenma's head swam.  "I need a tie-breaking 
vote."

	"Follow your instincts," Megumi said.

	"Listen to me," Mrs. Takano said.

	"Just focus on romancing Eri," Akira said.

	"Do NOT hit on Karasuma while you are Lupin," 
Harima said.  Or preferably, ever.  But at least he could say 
that much right now.

	"Very good point.  That would utterly break character.  
And only women," Mrs. Takano said.

	"This would be easier if the moon was out," Lupin-
Tenma mumbled.

	"We can hang up a paper moon for atmosphere if you 
think you need it," Mrs. Takano said.

	"Yes, please," Lupin-Tenma said.

	"I'll get someone to do that," Harima said.  "I really 
should get back to the door."  He paused.  "Megumi-san, 
Tenma-san, I really appreciate this.  I need...I can't let this 
party get wrecked."

	"Well, let's hope this doesn't wreck the party," Akira 
said.  "But if we don't get Zenigata to go away, we're 
doomed."

	Harima imagined the party turning into a giant bust.  
He grimaced.  "I know."  He paused.  "Tenma, are you sure 
you can evade getting caught?"

	"I will watch over her," Mrs. Takano said.  "I promise 
you she will not be harmed."  She held out a hand to 
Harima.

	He shook it.  "Thank you.  How soon do we start?"

	"Let me talk to Eri first," Akira said.  "So she doesn't 
end up punching out Tenma.  I'll signal by radio."

	"I'll talk to her," Harima said.  "We're co-hosting."

	"Good point.  I'll monitor and signal Tenma when 
we're all ready," Akira said.

	"Okay," Harima said, then headed out.

**************
	
	The band had taken a break to get some food while 
some canned music played.  Lala wanted to go and talk to 
Goro, but she was nervous about the woman.  Was she his 
date?  If he already had...She told herself to stop being 
ridiculous, but she didn't know how to stop.  

	She steeled herself.  "May I join you?"

	"That would be fine," the woman said, smiling at Lala.  
"You must be Gonzales-san."

	"You know me?" Lala asked in surprise.

	"My son talks about you sometimes, and Goro-kun 
told me about you too," she said.  "I'm Nara Kentaro's 
mother, Nara Kimiko."

	"It's nice to meet you," Lala said, setting her plate 
down; she suddenly realized Goro had pulled out a chair for 
her, and she smiled nervously.

	"I understand you're coming off a rough breakup," 
Kimiko said.

	"I...well...," Lala said nervously, beginning to put 
syrup on her pancakes.

	"It happens a lot in high school.  Don't worry, it's not 
the end of the world," Kimiko said comfortingly.  "Just 
remember that rebound relationships usually don't last long 
either.  But really, this is a time for you to experiment and 
learn what you like."  She patted Lala's shoulder.

	Lala began eating, not sure what to say.  She looked 
over at Goro, who said, "Kimiko is very wise.  I thought 
you'd find it useful to talk to another woman, someone 
neutral in your struggles, about it all.  Or we can forget 
about all that, and dance."

	"I...thank you," Lala said.  It did have some appeal.  
"We should go somewhere private."

	Kimiko nodded and rose.  "Okay."

	"I'll see you both later," Henry said, taking Lala's hand 
and kissing it, then kissing Kimiko on the cheek.

	Lala let herself be led away, wondering what the hell 
was going on.

***********

	"Are you sure this won't make a mess?" Eri asked 
Harima.

	"Well, less of a mess than this nutjob cop trying to 
bust us as famous criminals," Harima said.

	Eri frowned, then nodded.  "My great-uncle Ben  
worked with this lunatic."  She shook her head.  "I have a 
bad feeling about this, but I'm not seeing a better way."

	Harima nodded.  

	"Now, let me introduce you to the Takoyas.  They're 
nice people, but very badly organized, so don't point out 
things like ties on backwards or that she's wearing her 
wedding ring on the wrong finger," Eri said.

	Harima followed her, wondering idly if they ever put 
their underwear on backwards without noticing.  

	Mr. Takoya was a short, skinny mess of a man, who 
looked like he'd put his clothing on in the dark.  The same 
could be said for his wife, who towered over him by a good 
five inches, but was also somewhat disheveled.  "Hello, 
Sawachika-san," Mr. Takoya said.  "And Harima-san."

	"Thank you for the gift of the caviar," Mrs. Takoya 
said.  "Our little boy, Miki, really likes it."

	"We have to ration it, of course, or he'd probably just 
gorge on it in one sitting," Mr. Takoya said.  "Or rub it in 
his clothing again."  He sighed.

	Harima tried to imagine a life where you gave gifts of 
caviar to your kids and they rubbed it in their clothing and 
you didn't then feel it important to kill them.  But he 
couldn't.  He did his best to look dignified.  "I had so much 
of it that I hardly knew what to do with it," he said.  "It's 
not something you just casually eat every day and it won't 
stay good forever."  He glanced over at Eri, hoping he'd 
said something which would impress them.

	She gave him a tiny nod, and he smiled.  Score!

	"So true.  But we're very grateful," Mr. Takoya said.  
"I must confess I haven't heard of your family," he 
continued.

	Eri started to speak, but Harima cut in.  "We don't 
make waves, though I think my manga will become 
famous."

	"I noticed you are published already and you're just in 
high school," Mr. Takoya said, sounding impressed.  "How 
is the merchandising coming along?"

	"Negotations in progress," Harima said.  It was only 
half a lie, really, as they soon would be, once he could get 
Akira to work on it.  He needed more money to pay his 
debts.  "The manga is only now getting going, so it will 
need some time to build a fan base."

	"That's true," Mrs. Takoya said.  "Our boy likes it."

	That made Harima smile warmly, knowing he'd 
succeeded in one of his big goals, to inspire others as he 
had been at that age.  "Good," he said.

	"Is there going to be a show?  We heard that there was 
a show at last night's party."  He paused.  "Or is the live 
music the show?"

	"It will be more fun if it's a surprise," Harima said.  
Just so long as it was a highly planned surprise.

	That was the only kind he wanted right now.

************

	Akira kept clenching and unclenching her hands.  
Seeing Tenma like this was...well, from her mother's 
stories, her father would probably have laughed his ass off 
at what they were doing, but it felt sacrilegous to his 
memory to her.  But what else could they do?

	She looked over at her mother, also tense, and tried to 
find words to speak, but they eluded her.

	Mrs. Takano said into her headset, "Now, use the third 
pick; that will unlock the skylight if you follow my 
directions."  She guided Lupin-Tenma through it, her voice 
utterly flat, which Akira knew meant her mother was very 
tense.  They were both like that.

	Akira watched, noticing Lupin-Tenma visibly 
improved in facility at picking the lock as she followed the 
instructions.  She'd better not lose herself in her role, or this 
will get messy, Akira thought.  The last thing she needed 
was someone who thought they were Lupin III for real 
running around at the party.

	Her nerves tried to become more tense, but she'd 
already turned up her nerves to eleven, so they settled 
reluctantly for waiting in line to prevent a reduction of 
tension later.

	Here we go, Akira thought.

************

	"Is it just me, or are those two guys watching you?" 
Mikoto whispered to Hanai as they danced together, along 
with a handful of other couples, all older than themselves.

	Hanai glanced over.  "They're probably actually ogling 
you."

	Mikoto turned red.  "You think?"

	"I can't see why they'd be watching me.  Unless maybe 
they're trying to figure out my costume."

	Mikoto spun away from Hanai, joined only by one 
hand, then came back to him as they orbited around another 
couple.  "You're probably right.  Just dirty old men."  She 
sighed.

	"Well, they have good taste, at least," Hanai said, 
smiling a little.

	Mikoto smiled broadly as he now lifted her into the 
air.  "Flatterer."

	"Nothing but truth," he said.  Then he noticed there 
was someone coming in through the skylight, a monkey 
looking man in a red coat.  He frowned, and as he pulled 
Mikoto down to him, he subtly pointed up where only she 
could see.  "What's that?"

	"Some ugly, skinny guy," Mikoto said.  

	The man now attached something to the edge of the 
skylight and dove down into the crowd, drawing all eyes.  
Eri gave a huge screech as the man grabbed her, then began 
rising into the air as the cable attached to him retracted 
back to the thing he'd put on the edge of the skylight.

	"LUPIN III!" Zenigata yelled, leaping onto a table.  "I 
KNEW YOU WERE STILL ALIVE!  MEN, GET HIM!"

	"No shooting!" Ami Sawachika shouted.  "If you miss 
him, the bullets may ricochet and hit my guests!"

	"He has your daughter!"

	"AND YOU MAY END UP SHOOTING HER!" Ami 
shouted back angrily.

	Everyone stared in shock.

	Zenigata rubbed his forehead, looking ashamed.  
"She's right.  Men, outside!  We have to ensure he doesn't 
escape!  No one else leave here!"

	"I'll get him!" Harima shouted.  He began running for 
one of the walls, which he began to scale.

	Hanai stared, then took off running with Mikoto 
following him.  He couldn't let a classmate be abducted, 
after all.

	Sagano leaped onto the table.  "C'mon, Tsumugi-chan, 
Takeichi-kun!  Time to rescue the princess!"

	"But, we..." Yuuki began.

	They soon found themselves being hustled off.  

	Cops streamed out the doors, looking for a way up.

	Henry prayed that this was part of someone's plan and 
not the beginning of another disaster.  

***************

	Eri whispered to Tenma, "Wow, your disguise is 
great."

	"What disguise?" Lupin-Tenma said.  

	Eri felt her heart dive into her feet.  She's lost it again, 
Eri thought.  This is going to get messy.

	They'd retreated to a corner of the roof; Lupin-Tenma 
was holding her with one arm and fiddling with some 
widget from 'his' belt with the other hand.  Harima, Hanai, 
and Mikoto were slowly advancing from three directions.  

	The cops milled about below with Sagano, Yuuki, and 
Fuyuki, trying to find some way up to the roof.  "We may 
have to transform," Sagano said.

	"We...wait," Fuyuki said.

	"I know it's cold, but we have to save Sawachika-san!" 
Sagano said.  "This is where having a magic magnifying 
glass that searches out things like, say, ladders, would be 
handy.  Though if I could make a costume give Mai 
superpowers..."  She began thinking.

	"Say what?" Fuyuki said.

	Sagano put a finger to her lips.  "Tell no one, but Mai's 
joined the ranks of the magical girls."  She paused.  "Hmm, 
I forgot to ask her what her superhero name is..."

	As Sagano mused, Hanai said, "Let go of our 
classmate!  I can't allow this as class representative."

	Eri tried desperately to use eyebrow movements to ask 
Harima if Hanai and Mikoto were in on this.

	Harima studied the movements, wondering why Eri 
was trying to signal him to use a squeeze play.  This wasn't 
baseball, after all.  Maybe this was some kind of British 
thing.  Like that game...the British game...some kind 
of...Locust?  Yeah, must be a signal for Locust, the game 
with the paddle bat things.  Probably similar to Japanese 
signals.  

	A squeeze play...being metaphorical, maybe.  Ahh, 
yes, she wants Hanai to draw his attention and get 
clobbered so I can move in and save her.  Perfect sense, 
Harima thought.

	He said, "Hanai!," then began trying to signal Hanai.

	Hanai studied Harima, who seemed to be having some 
sort of epileptic fit.  Or maybe this was sign language.  He 
wouldn't have thought Harima had the patience to learn 
sign language.  Good for him.  

	Hanai tried to intuit what the gestures might mean.  
Something about diving...off the roof?  That couldn't be 
right.  Diving for his feet.  I strike low, Mikoto strikes high.  
That made sense.  He turned and signaled to Mikoto, using 
the hand signs of their dojo.  She nodded and got ready.  

	Harima slid into a ready stance, waiting for the 
squeeze to start.

	Yuuki managed to scramble onto the roof, holding 
onto a hose.  "You sure this will support your weight?" she 
asked the others, who had boosted her up.

	"Take off your jacket and shirt, so you're super-strong 
and can hold it, so we don't pull you off the roof," Fuyuki 
said.

	Yuuki shivered, then began stripping.

	Hanai tensed up to launch his attack, as did Mikoto, 
only now he could see Yuuki stripping.  Confused and 
attracted, he stared mindlessly, as did Harima.

	What the hell is going on?, Harima wondered.  Is she 
trying to distract Lupin?

	Lupin-Tenma visibly goggled at the stripping Yuuki, 
then said, "Two IS better than one," and darted over, 
wrapping an arm around her even as his giant balloon now 
inflated, lifting all three of them into the air.

	"HEY!" Harima said.  "That's cheating!"  

	"Follow him!  To the cars!  He has to come down 
eventually!" Zenigata shouted.

	At this point, Imadori stumbled out of the roof access 
door.  "Hey guys, what's going on?"

	"Hey, you can't have Yuuki too!" Sagano shouted 
futilely up at the drifting away threesome.

	Yuuki began struggling to get loose until Lupin-
Tenma asked, "Do you really want to fall?"

	Eri had decided that someone was going to have to die 
for this; she just had to figure out who.

	"Why didn't you distract him?" Harima shouted at 
Hanai.

	"Distract him?  I thought you wanted Mikoto and I to 
lead the attack!" Hanai shouted back.

	"Uh, guys, we need to do something about Lupin 
before he gets away with Eri and Yuuki!," Mikoto said.

	"I'll save you, my fiancee!" Imadori shouted, charging 
across the roof and leaping upwards at full force towards 
the slowly rising balloon.  He ended up catching hold of 
Eri's shins, hanging down below her.  The balloon 
struggled to hold them all up.  

	Eri began flailing about.  "Stop looking up my skirt!"

	"Oooh, good idea!" Imadori said.

	"STOP LOOKING UP HER SKIRT!" Harima shouted 
and he charged.  Leaping full force, he arced towards them.  

	Lupin-Tenma pushed a button on his belt and the 
balloon began to rise.  

	Then Harima caught Imadori's feet.  "Let go of Eri!" 
he shouted.

	"We'll fall, you idiot!"  Imadori shouted, clinging 
desperately, though he kept starting to slide down Eri's 
smoothly shaved legs.

	"Dammit, you pervert, let go!"  Eri flailed at Imadori, 
but couldn't reach him, and he held her legs too tightly for 
her to move them much.

	"Stop wiggling, or I'll end up dropping you," Lupin-
Tenma said.

	Harima began climbing up Imadori.  "HEY!" Imadori 
said.  "One panty-gazer at a time!"

	"Hanai!  CATCH!" Harima shouted, wrenching 
Imadori loose and tossing him back to Hanai, who had to 
arc into the air to catch him.

	Lithely, Hanai landed on the snowy ground.

	Less lithely, he hit the edge of the slope and began to 
tumble down it with Imadori; they were soon trapped in a 
growing snowball as they rolled off down the hill.

	"Hey, get your own women!" Lupin-Tenma protested, 
trying to shake Harima loose, but unable to do anything 
with a woman in each arm.

	Harima wrenched Yuuki loose.  "SUOU!"  He hurled 
Yuuki through the air, and Suou ran, then jumped up and 
caught her.  She was luckier than Hanai, and only landed 
on Sagano's head, knocking Sagano to the ground with a 
face full of Mikoto butt.

	Lupin-Tenma now drew a gun and levelled it at 
Harima's head.  "No more games," he said.

	"No, don't shoot..."  Eri began in a panic.

	"You can't...," Harima began.

	BANG.  There was a huge puff of smoke in Harima's 
face and then a little flag came out.

	Harima laughed.  "Nice try, but...but..."  He had to 
breathe in the smoke to talk, and the knockout drugs in it 
knocked him out.  He went limp, but Lupin-Tenma grabbed 
him before he fell.

	I have to get through to Tenma, Eri thought.  Before 
it's too late.  

	Then she saw the gyrocopter approaching, pedalled by 
a man with a bowlcut, a pulled down hat, and a thick beard.  
Jigen?, she wondered, then noticed the Sukuran school pin 
in his tie.  Karasuma, she realized.  

	"There you are," Lupin-Tenma said.  "Got any ideas 
what to do with this boy?"

	"He isn't worth anything, except to her," Jigen-
Karasuma said.  "But he could make a good hostage."

	"Not worth anything?," Eri said.  "He's ten times the 
man either of you are!"  She was getting angry enough to 
forget this was all a set-up, in large part because they were 
acting too well.

	It was then that a flaw in the plan emerged, namely 
that the copter couldn't get close enough without the blades 
blowing the balloon away or threatening to pop it or both.

	"Blow me to safety!" Lupin-Tenma said.

	They drifted off across the countryside, leaving 
everyone else behind.

**************

	"Well?" Ami asked Zenigata angrily.

	"Okay, your daughter was Lupin's target, not Lupin," 
Zenigata grumbled.

	"And Harima..."

	"Wasn't one of them either.  Or Hanai," Zenigata said.

	Hanai sat with his feet in hot water and shivered in a 
towel.  "We have to go rescue them."

	"Let us handle it," Zenigata said.  "You're not up to 
facing Lupin, as the boy demonstrated."

	"We came closer to catching him than you," Mikoto 
said angrily as she lurked by Hanai.

	"You need to run Harima's party without him," Ami 
said.  "He's lucky to have friends who can handle that.  And 
let the police handle this for now."

	Hanai didn't like the idea, but he was in no shape to go 
running off after them right now anyway.

***************
	
	"I don't understand," Lala said, rubbing her forehead.

	"None of us really understand.  We just kind of go day 
to day," Kimiko said.  "But I think you could use a simple 
fling to help get over it all.  No consequences, no worries 
about the future, just something to have a little fun."

	"But he...you..." Lala babbled.

	"Well, your rivals may take it amiss, but I won't," 
Kimiko said.  "This is how we live.  Or if you'd just like 
some help snagging someone in your class, I'd be happy to 
give you the benefits of my experience.  You seem like a 
nice girl to me."

	"I...I don't know," Lala said.  "I can hardly think 
straight about all of this."

	"Best not to rush in blindly," Kimiko said.  "I 
understand.  Though it's a pity the boy won't let you join 
the others.  They're all quite attractive."

	Lala clenched her fists.  "It pisses me off."

	"I can't blame you," Kimiko said.  "Have you thought 
about the Harima boy?  He seems open to more flexible 
arrangements."

	"He's a thug," Lala said.

	"He seemed a gracious and graceful host to me," 
Kimiko said.  "Not as polished as Goro, mind you, but his 
body is strong and he's very creative and loyal, it seems.  
You might want to consider him."

	"But it means..."

	"Well, yes, he does have multiple girlfriends, but that's 
quite normal these days,  and it means you can have several 
boyfriends, and then everyone wins," Kimiko said.  She got 
a brush and began brushing out Lala's hair.  "Your hair is 
quite beautiful."

	"Thank you," Lala said softly.  "You really believe all 
that?"

	"It works for Goro-kun and I," Kimiko said.

	It sounded entirely insane, but she was so tired of 
being lonely.  And Harima did clean up well, she had to 
admit.  But really, she wanted someone she wouldn't have 
to fight rivals for.  On the other hand...

	She didn't know what to think.

***********

	== Snap out of it!, ==  Akira commanded through the 
radio to Lupin-Tenma, who ignored it, though 'he' 
wondered who was talking to him.  

	"Jigen, someone keeps talking to me somehow," 
Lupin-Tenma said to Jigen-Karasuma.

	"It's your head radio.  Fujiko was running the op, 
remember?," Jigen-Karasuma said.

	Great, he's lost it too, Akira thought.

	She could hear her mother pacing, grinding her teeth, 
and smoking.  

	Akira tried to quiet her nerves.  This was just too 
much.  It shouldn't be.  She'd made her peace with her 
father's death long ago, but now it was like having the 
wound re-opened.  The only thing that could make it worse 
would be if he suddenly showed up alive and explained 
he'd faked his death to get away from the burden of a wife 
and child.

	But surely that wouldn't happen.

	Now she just had to shut this all down via the radio, 
somehow.  Since invincible Kenji had gotten taken down 
like a chump by Tenma.  But he always had been a chump 
for her.

	Akira frowned and took a few seconds to think and 
focus her mind.  

	== Ne, Fujiko, we going to have some fun tonight?, 
== Lupin-Tenma asked Akira over the radio.

	Akira glanced at her mother a moment; her mother 
didn't seem to notice, lost in thought.  == Lots of fun, but 
it'll be more fun if you don't bring another woman and her 
fiancee, == she tried saying.

	== But the whole idea was..., ==

	== To rescue her so she could elope with her lover, == 
Akira said, hoping she could overturn the delusion that 
much.

	== Are you jealous of this cute little blonde?, == 
Lupin-Tenma asked.

	== Yes, == Akira said.

	'He' gave a hoot and Eri shouted, "I AM NOT A 
CUTE LITTLE BLONDE!"

	Of course not, Akira thought, then shook her head.  == 
So drop them off, then head to our hideout.  I'm waiting for 
you...so don't be slow. ==

	== WOO WOO!, == Lupin-Tenma shouted. 

	Okay, Kenji, Akira thought.  Here's your chance.  
Don't screw it up.

************

	Harima woke up with his head in Eri's lap as she sat 
under a tree.  He stared up at her.  "Did you take them out?"

	"They dropped us off here and wished us a happy life 
together," Eri said.  "So I guess now we try to get back to 
the party before it's over."

	Harima got up quickly.  "I wish I knew how the hell 
she can do that."

	"Do...oh, the whole roleplay thing," Eri said.

	"Yeah.  How the hell did she get all those gizmos and 
skills?  Unless Megumi is some kind of super-spy...," 
Harima said, trailing off into thought.

	He took Eri's hand and they began heading through the 
woods.  "Well, if we tell my parents you rescued me...," Eri 
began.

	"We can tell everyone it was our special show.  I just 
hope it didn't cause too much trouble," Harima said.

**************

	Far away in Hawaii, the Tiki Gods were angry.  Their 
vengeance had been denied.  Having been humiliated once 
by their failure to slay the Brady Bunch, they would not 
lose again.  Not if they had to chase these fools all the way 
to Japan and sink the entire island chain.

	Somehow.

	There was only one problem.

	"What do you mean the Formorians are scheduled to 
invade Japan and called dibs?  They aren't even Asian!" 
one of the Tiki Gods demanded angrily.  His name was 
P'o'tiki.  

	He could hardly be distinguished from another of the 
Tiki Gods as they all sat in their grand meeting hall in the 
ruins of Mu at the bottom of the Pacific.  M'o'tiki said, 
"Technically speaking, our entire culture is a construct of 
some American who wanted to decorate a club and..."

	"LIES, ALL LIES!," P'o'tiki shouted.  "I refuse to 
accept the Formorians cutting in ahead of our sacred 
vengeance duty."

	A third, K'o'tiki, would have nodded agreement, but he 
had no neck and thus could never nod or turn his head, or 
do anything but somehow speak through a face frozen in a 
grimace.  "If the Formorians get in our way, we will 
destroy them as we destroyed the Lemurians."

	"There is no historical evidence any of us existed 
before the 20th century!  We're an art fad, dammit!," 
M'o'tiki said.

	"Even presuming you are correct, which would not 
explain our ancient, now fallen civilization of Mu," P'o'tiki 
began.

	"I'm still working on that bit," M'o'tiki mumbled.

	A tiki goddess now cut in.  It was hard to tell by 
anything but her voice, as she looked rather like the love-
child of an Easter Island head and a totem pole (rather like 
the others, really).  Shan'a'tiki said, "If people stop fearing 
the curse, they'll stop buying Tiki idols to defy it and then 
our revenues will plummet and we'll have to move back 
into that submarine again.  Does anyone want that?"

	Even M'o'tiki was silent.

	"Fine.  Then we will take our revenge on...on...who 
was that, anyway?" Shan'a'tiki asked.

	Everyone looked at M'o'tiki.  "Well, that's the oddest 
thing.  I never noticed it before, but there's now a bunch of 
new entries in my Little Big Book of Mu Lore, with 
references to Princess Condiment, whose powers match the 
mysterious new heroine.  And the others are just a bunch of 
Japanese teenagers.  But since they still have the statuette, 
they should be easy to track.  And what kind of resistance 
can a bunch of stupid teenagers and their cats put up?  This 
princess won't be able to save them all."  M'o'tiki tried to 
shake his head, but he also had no neck.  He tried to 
grimace, but he had no facial muscles either.  He tried to 
avoid asking himself how exactly he was speaking, for fear 
he'd lose the ability.

	"Good," P'o'tiki began.

	"Which of course means she'll recruit an entire team of 
her reincarnated former guardians, even if she IS more 
powerful than all of them combined, at which point, things 
will get dicier for us," M'o'tiki said.  "Also, there's almost 
certainly a Prince, reincarnated."

	"Hmm, but doesn't the Prince traditionally show up to 
save her at some crucial moment, starting in her first battle?  
This must be a lazy one," P'o'tiki said.

	"Well, we have to take any luck we can get," M'o'tiki 
said.

	"Alright, then, time to plan our attack, unless M'o has 
anything else to depress us with," K'o'tiki said.

	"I'll work on that."

*************

	Harima entered the main floor, holding Eri's hand, 
which he now held up in the air.  "We escaped the evil 
Lupin's clutches.  Thank you to everyone for trying to save 
us," Eri said, walking up onto the stage with Harima and 
taking the microphone.  "We hope you enjoyed our show."

	Ami listened to them spew a line about how it had all 
been planned, and then Harima began distributing manga to 
people.  It was a good enough line to deal with everything, 
and the cops were gone now, thankfully.

	This party had gone better than she expected, really.  
She had a feeling if Harima had to do it all himself, it 
would have been a catastrophe, but the man did seem to 
have attracted a lot of good supporters.  Which would be a 
useful talent if he did marry into the family.

	A good start, but this was only the beginning.  

	And there was one more to go; she was very curious to 
see how that one would go.

**************   

	Akira wanted to shoot something.  Like Zenigata.  
That idiot would never give up, it seemed.  And really, this 
entire plan would just reinforce his delusions.  Successful 
as it had been.

	She could see the cops milling about in the parking 
lot, getting ready to take off.  It would be so easy to...

	No, no, don't start any trouble, she told herself.  You 
scammed them, they ate it up like suckers.  That's good 
enough.

	It wasn't good enough.  Not good enough.  They had 
to pay for...for...

	For something.  For having hounded her father into 
hiding after all those years, for leading him to...

	It wasn't Zenigata's fault her father had died.  But he 
made an awfully good target for her anger anyway.  

	She was physically trembling when Harima walked in.  
He passed her his headset.  "Thanks a lot for everything," 
he said, then paused.  "Hey."

	Akira added embarrassment to her anger, then tried 
unsuccessfully to squelch that as well.  

	"You wanna...uh...talk about it?" Harima asked softly.  
He wasn't good at talking but that's what women usually 
wanted to do.  Talk about their emotions and stuff.  And 
boss their lovers around, but that wasn't appropriate here.  
He was just lucky they'd not had time to kick his ass once 
he turned back to normal.  

	Very good, Onna-Harima said to him.  I didn't even 
have to prompt you.

	Oh shut up, he told her.

	"I want..."  Akira was breathing raggedly, and it 
scared Harima, just a little.  Not a huge amount, but he'd 
never seen her so emotional.  

	"To beat the shit out of that ignorant fucker?" he 
guessed.

	"Yes," she hissed between her teeth.  "There's no one I 
hate more in all the universe."

	"Not even the guys who killed your Dad?" Harima 
asked in surprise.

	"They're all dead now," Akira said harshly.  
"Bastards."  Her hands clenched and unclenched.  "Kenji, if 
I asked you to help me beat the shit out of these bastards, 
would you?"

	I can't believe she swore, Harima thought, stunned.  
"You want to just go beat the shit out of all those Interpol 
guys?"

	"I want them to feel like I do, but worse," she said, her 
voice loaded with acid.  

	"You know, we could get in a lot of trouble," Harima 
said softly.  "They're international police.  And the cops, 
they all stick together."

	She looked up at him.  "You'd take that risk for me?" 
she asked softly.

	"If that's what you want," Harima said.  "You worked 
your ass off for me on this party and you've helped me 
before.  I stick with my friends.  Though I gotta say, we 
could get in a lot of trouble.  But I'll take that risk for you."

	Akira walked up to him.  For a moment, he thought 
she was going to headbutt him.  

	Instead, she leaned forward, putting the top of her 
head onto his sternum.  "You really mean that?" she asked 
softly.

	He tried to figure out what the hell she was doing.  "I 
never say anything I don't mean."  This was completely 
wrong, but he thought he was sincere.  "I always used to go 
out and break some skulls when I was too pissed off to take 
it any more."

	"Used to?" she asked softly.

	"I'm trying to be less violent," he said.  "Even if...well, 
you know."  He sighed.

	"I know," she said.  He could feel her head vibrating 
gently.  She was shaking, and he wished he knew what to 
do.  As hugging her was the usual thing, but she wasn't his 
girlfriend and no doubt someone would walk in on them, 
and it would all end in destruction.

	"Maybe you should go see your boyfriend," Harima 
said.  Surely he'd know what to do.

	"He's unconscious due to those bastards in the pervert 
club," Akira said, her voice growing harsh again.  She 
straightened up.  "I think it's finally time to teach them a 
lesson in not messing with my boyfriend."

	"They are pretty pathetic, but they're already in the 
infirmary due to your mother," Harima pointed out.

	"I have to do something!" Akira said.  

	And then it hit Harima, something Haruka had done 
one time to keep him from doing anything stupid.  

	"Let's go find somewhere peaceful and we can spar.  
You can just let it all out on me.  I can take it," Harima 
said.  

	"I wouldn't want to hurt you; none of this is your 
fault," Akira said.

	"I doubt you could hurt me anyway," Harima said.  He 
turned to go.  "Let's go."

	"Fine," Akira said tightly.  "Don't say I didn't warn 
you."	

	They headed out to find a good sparring ground.
 

**************

	They'd gone back to the other lodge, so as to remain 
undisturbed.  It wasn't too cold today, so they'd faced off in 
the parking lot.  Akira was feeling pretty nervous, though 
she didn't show it.  Harima wasn't as fast as her, but he was 
tremendously stronger and tougher.  And she was unarmed, 
since the goal was not to end up with Harima shot dead (or 
herself) and she hadn't brought any pellet guns.

	Harima held up a hand and cocked one finger back 
towards himself several times.  

	Alright, she wanted to hit something.  She charged, 
then at the last second leaped over him.  As he started to 
turn, she swept his legs and kicked him in the butt as he 
went down.  

	When she went for a stomp, however, he grabbed her 
foot and rolled, tossing her towards a tree.  She flipped in 
the air and kicked off it, passing to one side of him, kicked 
off another tree, and launched herself at him.

	He turned and to her surprise crossed his arms in front 
of himself.  She crashed into the block, then he tried to grab 
her, but she rolled out of reach.

	She launched a series of attacks, faster and faster.  
Some were too quick for Harima to block, but he hardly 
seemed to feel them.  Others were blocked, and a fair 
number, he countered and turned it into a grab or a kick.

	But mostly he fought defensively, which she found 
strange.  Why is he holding back, she wondered.  This 
wasn't his usual style at all; he normally went for all out 
assault.  

	Unless he thinks I can't handle it, she thought, which 
made her angry, even though she knew that she shouldn't 
get mad.  Given she was already mad over Zenigata's 
continued breathing, it was a short step for her to get angry 
over this.

	She stepped up her assault, throwing all her strength 
into it, her common sense having gone to take a nap in the 
face of too much emotion.  She pummeled Harima with 
everything she had, and now all he did was defend, not 
even counter-attacking, which just made her angrier.

	Why won't he take me seriously?  He can do better 
than this.  Akira hated it when people didn't live up to their 
potential.  "Fight me!"

	"I am," he said, grimacing as she nearly kicked him in 
the groin.  But he blocked her kick and slid to one side, 
then swept her.  Then he bounced back instead of 
exploiting it.

	"I am not a delicate flower.  I can take it," she said 
loudly, flipping back to push off a tree for an all-out attack 
on his upper torso.

	That actually made him fall down, which made her 
feel better until he grabbed her feet and tossed her into a 
snowbank.  As he rose, he said, "No, you can't."

	If lasers could have come out of her eyes, they would 
have.  Having to hide from Zenigata, not being treated 
seriously by Harima, told she was weak; it was all making 
her very unusually angry.  

	She attacked him in a cold fury, her face a mask of 
cold death, throwing everything she had into hitting him 
over and over and over, forcing him onto the defensive.  
Her anger mounted as she went, as he failed to bend to her 
will, neither being defeated nor attacking her as she 
wanted.  

	She tried to think, but she couldn't think.  She was too 
angry to do anything but unleash it all on Harima in a 
blinding flurry of blows, attack after attack cascading down 
on him.  She gave it everything she had, but she didn't feel 
like she was even making an impression on him.

	Why am I doing this, she asked herself.  This was 
totally unlike her.  She was supposed to be in control, to 
dictate the flow of events, not get in pointless sparring 
matches with people vastly superior to herself in unarmed 
combat.  Of course he isn't taking me seriously; if he did, 
he'd take me apart, she thought.  But instead, she was just 
giving him a pretty thorough beating and why was he just 
standing there?  Doesn't he feel this at all?

	He'd manuevered her into a fight she couldn't win.  
Just like with Zenigata.  What could she do to an Interpol 
officer without getting in way over her head, no matter how 
she came at it?  He'd just come in, wrecked the party she'd 
worked so hard on and gotten off scot free with his horrible 
little vendetta against her dead father.  Who wouldn't have 
died if he hadn't had to spend all his time hiding from that 
vengeful little bastard.

	She wanted to see him die, not heroically like her 
father had, but like a dog in a ditch.  She'd never been able 
to have a real family life because of that fool's eternal 
hounding of her father.  She hated him with every ounce of 
hate she had.

	At least he wasn't after Kentaro.  Kentaro... Guilt hit 
her like a tide; she hadn't been able to protect him; she'd 
sent him off to end up getting mauled by the video club 
then attacked by weasels.  He'd have been fine if she hadn't 
done that.  It was her fault.  

	Being around her was dangerous, and she couldn't... 
there were things she couldn't stop, couldn't beat, couldn't 
prevent.    

	And the feelings.  He made her feel so much it 
terrified her.  She was better than him at most things, but in 
the affairs of the heart, he always...he wasn't scared.  How 
could he not be scared?  Or did he just hide it well?  But he 
had...he had been willing...

	She remembered what they had done, their genders 
switched, in the other world.  Was there any other man in 
all the world who would do that for her?  What would she 
do if she lost him?  She had to be strong enough to protect 
him, but she couldn't even make Kenji fight her seriously, 
let alone defeat him.

	Not that he was after her Kentaro.  He was only a 
monkey for women.  

	So there was no danger he thought about Kentaro the 
way she thought about Hanai.  Who was busy two-timing 
Mikoto, but she didn't even seem to care.  She was half-
surprised he hadn't somehow gotten Yuuki and Lala to 
shack up with the four of them.

	But she wasn't jealous.

	At all.

	It's not like he and Mikoto could have turned to people 
they already knew and trusted after all, no they had to 
shack up with college students.  A bimbo and her boytoy.  
Alright, that wasn't fair, Masahiro did seem to be smart.  
He was just unable to say no to women.  Or Hanai.  Were 
they doing each other too?

	Probably.  Hanai seemed to lust after everyone but me, 
Akira thought.  Why?  She knew why.  She was too 
mannish looking, too cold, not at all sexy.  Of course he 
wanted bouncy breasts, just like most men.  No one loves 
us for our minds.  She could feel a strong taste of bitterness 
in her fury now.  

	She was still whaling on Harima, but without much 
finesse now, her mind lost in thought even as her body took 
it all out on Harima, who continued to parry every assault, 
much easier now.

	Nara was different.  But he was so vulnerable.  She 
had to protect him, but she didn't have the strength.  She 
had to have more strength, she needed control, so as to 
work around her weaknesses.  But all she wanted to do 
right now was smash things, smash them to rubble.  She 
loved him, but she couldn't rein in her emotions like she 
used to, not so easily.  He left a door in the walls around 
her heart, and she couldn't stop using it. 

	Not even knowing it made her weak.  She couldn't 
afford to show so much emotion.  But she couldn't help it if 
she had a boyfriend.  She couldn't just lock everything up 
but her love for him.  But if she couldn't do that, she could 
never protect him.  

	It was a paradox that ate away at her; the more she 
loved him, the more she was afraid of losing him.  The 
more she wanted to protect him, the more her emotions 
hampered her ability to do so.  If she shut herself off to 
protect him, she would lose him.  

	And she couldn't bear that.

	She couldn't see her way out of the trap, and it felt like 
it was crushing her.  There had to be some way to love and 
to be strong at the same time, but she couldn't see it.  How 
could people stand to be so vulnerable?  

	Harima was her opposite, emotionally.  He let it all 
hang out; he could only hide his true feelings from those as 
clueless as himself.  And yet he was so strong.  Stronger 
than her.  So much stupider, and yet somehow his emotions 
fed his strength.  But how?  How could you tap that power 
without destroying yourself through poor emotional 
decisions?

	Not that Harima didn't make plenty of those, but 
somehow, he always seemed to make his way through them 
and keep going.  

	How did he do it?  How?

	She didn't realize she was starting to verbalize her 
thoughts until Harima, blocking a kick to his chest, said, 
"Uh, do what?"

	"How can you be so strong when you have no self-
control?" she shouted at him as she vaulted over him, trying 
to sweep his legs, only to have him jump over the blow.  
He tried to catch her leg, but she spun back out of reach and 
circled to the left.

	"If you think I have no self-control now, you should 
have seen me in the old days," he said softly, standing in a 
ready position, turning to face her as she moved.

	Perhaps that was true.  She'd heard some stories from 
her investigation.  And he had generally handled the party 
well with a little help.  If he really wanted something, he 
could be very focused.  Was that it?  Could he just turn his 
flakiness off and on when he needed to?  

	She thought about what he'd done with her mother, 
pinning her so quickly once she'd given him a motivation.  
When he fought, there was nothing else to him but the drive 
for victory.  She'd always had to still her emotions to do 
that, and keep them stilled, so as to always remain in 
control of situations.  Had that all been a waste?  
Unnecessary?  Did she need to try to change?  Was it even 
possible?

	And yet, his focusing could make him manipulable.  
He was like a violin, so easy to lead by his needs.  She 
couldn't bear to be like that.  And yet, she couldn't love 
Kentaro without leaving herself open, vulnerable.  He was 
a tool anyone could use to manipulate her, if they chose.  
And she hated being manipulable.  She didn't want anyone 
to push her buttons.  Not even...

	But he could.  She'd let Kentaro get a hold on her.  He 
hadn't abused it, but could she count on that forever?  
Could she trust him?  She wanted to, she trusted him more 
than anyone but her mother and her close friends, but his 
family was so...and they...what if he decided he wanted 
some other woman too?  Would she even have the strength 
to tell him no?  

	She felt impaled upon conflicting desires.  Freedom, 
love, security, power...they all made demands and the 
demands didn't line up.  How did other people do it?  
Hadn't they ever been betrayed?  How could they be so 
trusting?  

	She could feel herself wearing out, her body craving 
rest.  Now it was betraying her too.  Lack of sleep took its 
toll.  She had to strike a blow now or forget about it.

	She flipped over him, then dropped down as if to 
sweep his legs.  As he began to jump, she brought her leg 
up to try to kick him in the groin.  All is fair in love and 
war, after all.  

	To her surprise, he caught her leg with his legs, then 
came down on her, knocking her down into the ground, into 
the snow, with him pinning her legs, then reaching down to 
grab her arms.  "I think we're done," he said softly.  "You're 
slowing down."

	She struggled, but it only made her more tired and 
angry and frustrated.  "How do you do it?" she demanded.

	"I can show you the move again later," he said, 
picking her up and carrying her towards the house.

	She didn't fight it, though part of her mind worried 
someone would see them and get the wrong idea.  But she 
was just too tired.  

	"That's not what I meant," she mumbled, feeling 
exhaustion eating at her.  She wanted to rest, to just forget 
all her problems a little while.

	"I don't get it."

	She mumbled something incoherent, then slid off to 
sleep.

**************

	Jigen-Karasuma sat under a tree, waiting for Lupin-
Tenma to wake up.  She'd probably be back to normal once 
she woke up, or so he hoped.  So for now, he just sat with 
her, half-drowsing and watching over her.

	He hoped Yakumo wouldn't need her for the party; he 
had the feeling that Tenma would be late at best, and 
possibly sleep through most of it.  But Yakumo was very 
intelligent and responsible; surely, she'd be okay.

**************

	Yakumo watched everyone run about, setting things 
up, and felt a little overwhelmed.  She hadn't slept as well 
as she would have liked, and now she was tired.  Some of 
her helpers were off napping after having had too much 
party in the last twenty-four hours.  Yakumo had had to 
pull Osaka out of a garbage can someone had tossed her 
into when she fell asleep.

	Also, Kenji and Akira-sempai seemed to have 
wandered off and no one knew where and they weren't 
answering their phones, which made her worry.  Though it 
might mean they'd both just gone home and collapsed, 
given they'd been up all night, more or less.  That was 
probably it, she was sure.

	Sara came up to her.  "The longboats are ready, but we 
do have one issue."

	She could read it before Sara even said it.  "We need 
boatmen."

	There was only one untapped pool.  But they were all 
perverts and flunkies of Imadori.  And the last she heard, 
they'd gotten attacked by weasels.  

	She tried to think of some way to convince them, but 
she couldn't think of anything.  Suga had been friendly with 
them, though, right?  Maybe he'd have an idea.

	They went to consult with Suga.  "Hmmm.  Well, if 
we..."

	"No," Sara said.

	He blinked.  "You don't even know..."

	"No special pictures," Sara said firmly.

	"Damn, you did guess," Suga said, surprised.  "I'd 
suggest womanly wiles, but you're all too innocent for 
that."  He frowned.

	"I don't want you encouraging my girlfriend to flirt 
with those perverts, either," Asou said, rising up out of the 
shadows.  Or perhaps just walking up unnoticed.

	Satsuki said, "I'm sure I could flirt them into 
submission.  They don't strike me as very strong-minded."

	Yakumo thought about her options.  She knew who 
could do this.  And it was about time to confront her.  Even 
if Yakumo didn't like confrontations.  "Just see about 
everything else," she said.  "I'll get the person who can get 
them to help."

	Assuming she would help, anyway.  Which Yakumo 
wasn't so sure.  But she needed to see Eri anyway to give 
her the costume.  So she set out to find Eri.

**************

	In Hawaii, it was now morning.  Mai looked over at 
Tougo.  "Why are you covering your eggs with Tobasco 
sauce?"

	He didn't answer, lost in thought.

	Mai's mother cocked her head curiously.  "Ketchup 
can be good on scrambled eggs."

	"He's having fried eggs and...Tougo, you're putting it 
on your french toast!" Mai said, horrified.

	Silently, he continued to do so.  

	Mai gave him a gentle head-whack with her fan.  
"Hello, Earth to Boyfriend!"

	He started, eyes snapping fully open, then stared at his 
food.  "Who put Tobasco all over my food?"

	"You did," Mai's mother pointed out.  

	Tougo frowned.  "But I don't like it like this."

	"Maybe you should think about that next time," Mai's 
mother said, like talking to a small, stupid child.

	His head was full of thoughts about Tobasco and he 
was pretty sure he'd dreamed about it.  But why?  

	He sighed.  Sometimes, there just is no reason.  "Are 
we going swimming later?"

	"Yes," Mai said.  "Want me to get you some fresh 
food?"

	"It's my fault; I'll fix it myself," he said, heading into 
the kitchen.  

	"He's a good boy, but he has these fits of total 
stupidity," Mai's mother said to her once he was in the 
kitchen.

	"I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!" Tougo shouted and Mai 
giggled.

	"Well, everyone's stupid sometimes," Mai said.  "I 
only have to slap him around a little."

	Mai's mother rose, stretching.  "I'm going to get 
cleaned up and go shopping.  Have fun, kids."

	"Bye, Mom."

	"Farewell, Mrs. Ootsuka!"  Tougo shouted from the 
kitchen as he began frying more eggs.

	Once she was gone, Mai said, "I had a weird dream 
last night."

	"Speak," Tougo said.

	She told him all about it, coming into the kitchen.

	He tapped his cheek thoughtfully.  "That would 
explain a lot about Australia."

	"Seriously," she said.  "I probably just imagined the 
whole thing, but I did...well, Sagano-san insists the 
costume itself was mundane, but I clearly did gain powers 
wearing it."

	"Which could mean you always had them and just 
needed the right placebo to activate them," Tougo said.  
"That seems more logical than Sagano accidentally giving 
you magical girl abilities."

	Mai nodded.  "I guess we'll...hmm, I wonder if the 
Sailor Senshi came to Hawaii to investigate the Tiki 
Gods..."

	"..."

	"Stop staring at me blankly like that!  Tell me what 
you're thinking!"  Mai shook her hands in the air and glared 
at Tougo.  "I hate it when you do that."

	He finished cooking his fresh eggs, then put some 
toast in the toaster.  "I believe they are here to vacation and 
we just were drawn to them by destiny."

	"You think..."

	"I just hope I don't end up as the monster chow who 
dies to inspire you to greatness," he said remarkably 
cheerfully.

	"Well, there's usually a prince, who ought to be you," 
Mai said.  "Given you're my boyfriend."

	"Yes, but now I'll have to start doing stupid things for 
no good reason if that's right," Tougo said, laughing.

	"This would be different how?" Mai teased, laughing.  

	He ruffled her hair...with the greasy spatula.  "Like 
this."

	"Ahh, my hair!"  She began wrestling him, which 
continued until the frying pan flipped, flinging eggs into the 
air, which landed on both of them.

	"I see I'm going to have to buy more eggs," Tougo 
mumbled.

	"I'm going to go take a bath and change," Mai said.  
"The Tiki Gods may come back for a rematch, so I think 
we're going to have to go see what we can find on them."

	"I'll be in here, having disasters.  See you soon, 
honey."

	Tougo went back to cooking while Mai headed off to 
bathe.

*************	

	Eri tugged her hair, trying to figure out what to wear 
for Yakumo's party.  Not that she wanted it to succeed, 
since Yakumo had entered the contest just to spite her and 
Kenji's chances of being together.  Now if Yakumo had 
really wanted her, then...

	Eri shook her head.  What am I thinking?  Even if 
Yakumo was pretty kissable herself and had become 
obsessed with kissing me as soon as she turned into a boy, 
she doesn't normally want me, Eri thought.  Does she?

	Why else would she enter the contest instead of using 
her Tenma-leverage to force Kenji out of it?, her boy-self 
asked her.  Though what I'm wondering is how Mother is 
going to explain to the rest of the family why she let a girl 
enter the contest.  Even if she wins, we can't actually get 
married, right?  Or am I forgetting something?

	Eri frowned.  It was a very good question.  Mother had 
prevented Sagano from entering, THANK GOD.  For that 
matter, she'd closed it entirely once Yakumo entered...

	Eri tried to chase the situation in her head, sitting 
down on her bed and flopping backwards to stare at the 
ceiling.  But her thoughts just went round and round.

	There was a knock on the door.  

	"Hold on!" Eri shouted, quickly throwing on a 
bathrobe, as she'd been down to her underwear.

	Yakumo stepped in and walked towards her, looking 
very slightly worried.  "We need boatmen," Yakumo said 
softly.

	"Bo...oh, THAT.  Why didn't you think of that 
earlier?" Eri said, getting up and starting to root about in 
the closet again.

	"Some of my helpers are too worn out to help.  There's 
only one group that can help us, but you're better with boys 
than I am," Yakumo said.

	"Wait, you want me to recruit some of the pervert 
brigade to run your boats?" Eri said in shock.

	"There's no one else to ask," Yakumo said hesitantly.  
"Unless you have a better idea."

	"Shouldn't your 'boyfriend' be helping you?" Eri 
snapped.

	"He wore himself out saving you from Lupin III," 
Yakumo said, not quite harshly, but certainly firmly.  "He's 
sleeping now.  And he's just one guy."

	Maybe I can get Mikoto and her harem to help, Eri 
thought.  Anything but the pervert brigade.  "And why 
should I help you?"

	Because she is hot, you fool, her boy-self told her.  
She gave him a mental pimpslap.  

	Yakumo stared at her quietly for a little bit, then said, 
"You don't want Imadori to win, do you?  If Kenji and I 
both lose, you have to marry him.  Isn't it wisest to hedge 
your bets?"

	Eri stared at her.  Was it really Yakumo who had just 
said that?  That sounded more like Akira...she's not...maybe 
she is trying to imitate Akira.  How do those two do that, 
anyway...

	"Well, I..."

	"And you owe me for those 'accidental' kisses," 
Yakumo said.

	"They weren't accidents!" Eri protested instinctively, 
then paused.  "I mean they were accidents...dammit, you 
know what I mean!"

	"When a boy kisses a girl," Yakumo began.

	"I'm not a boy anymore!  Even if...I'm not!"

	"But it was still you," Yakumo said softly.  "Please, 
Eri-sempai, I need your help.  If you won't do it for me, 
will you do it for my sister's sake?  She helped to plan this 
all and now she's missing and..."

	Eri winced.  "She's okay, but I don't know if she'll 
make it back in time for your party."  Turning back to the 
closet, Eri said, "Well, let me find something appropriate to 
wear."  Her voice was very grumbly.

	Yakumo held out a package.  "I made you a dress, Eri-
sempai."

	Wait, when did she start calling me that, Eri 
wondered.  Well, that would have to wait.  She took the 
package and unwrapped it.  It looked like a many-layered 
medieval style dress.  "Wow, you made this?"

	Yakumo nodded.

	"It's not going to be easy to put on, though," Eri said.

	"I'll help you," Yakumo said.  

	Eri sighed.  "Okay, let's get started."

	Nothing seemed to happen.

	"Well?" Eri demanded.

	"You need to take off your bathrobe, Eri-sempai," 
Yakumo said calmly.

	Eri grumbled and stripped it off, leaving herself in just 
her underwear.  She'd better not be checking me out, Eri 
thought.  Boy Yakumo had seemed to almost undress her 
just by looking at her, but Girl Yakumo wouldn't be 
interested, right?  Or maybe she was interested, and that 
was why she entered the contest, and...

	Eri almost jumped out of her underwear when 
Yakumo put a hand on her shoulder.  She fell onto 
Yakumo, knocking her down to the ground; they ended up 
with faces adjacent.

	"Are you going to 'accidentally' kiss me again?" 
Yakumo asked.

	Eri sprang halfway across the room.  "No!  And those 
WERE accidents!  Are you going to claim you kissed me 
accidentally when you were a boy?"

	"No, that was deliberate," Yakumo said, rising.  She 
had that preternatural calmness which always made Eri a 
little jumpy.  "Please come back here, sempai."

	"Are you going to kiss me now?" Eri said warily.  Her 
whole body felt all nervous-tingly as her nerves began to 
jangle.

	"Do you want me to?" Yakumo asked in her usual 
calm voice.  The sheer mellowness of it left Eri wishing 
desperately that SHE could read minds.

	Read minds.

	Don't think about Kenji naked, Eri thought.  Or seeing 
girl-Kenji naked in the river or kissing her or kissing him 
or...or...

	"Sempai, I can't get you dressed if you hide behind the 
wardrobe," Yakumo said calmly.  So.  Utterly.  Calmly.

	Eri's pony-tails were standing on end as she peeked 
out from behind it.  "I'm not thinking about naked people," 
she mumbled.

	"That's good, sempai," Yakumo said.  "But we really 
need to get you dressed."

	Hesitantly, Eri came over.  Maybe she's trying to give 
me mental privacy, Eri thought.  Surely she would react if 
she saw...or has she seen Kenji naked so much it doesn't 
phaze her at all?  How do I know she and Kenji 
aren't...aren't...

	Eri nosebled at the mental images of the two of them, 
then she thought about herself walking in..and...

	Then she saw Yakumo tumble out the door, as if 
blown by a wind, but Eri felt nothing.

	"Yakumo-san?," she asked, her mind suddenly 
clearing as she ran over to the door.

	Yakumo looked dazed, then fell asleep.

	Eri grumbled and dragged her inside.  Here she goes, 
sleeping again, making me do all the work, Eri thought.  It's 
a wonder Tenma doesn't starve to death or kill herself with 
her own cooking the way her sister falls asleep all the time.

	She lightly laid Yakumo on the bed and pulled the 
covers over her.  That should keep her warm, Eri thought.  
And now to figure out this dress.  Surely it can't be that 
difficult.

	She was just trying to figure out which layer went first 
when Suga stuck his head in the door.  "Hey, have you 
seen....," he said, then trailed off and stared at Eri in her 
underwear.

	Until a thrown shoe took him down.  Eri pushed him 
into the hallway, then shouted, "Satsuki-san, please come 
remove your pervert boyfriend!"  

	Then she closed the door and got down to the work of 
trying to figure out how to start dressing.

**************	

	Ishiyama got up.  He still felt battered, but he would 
have to hurry, or he'd miss his chance to hang out with 
Tanaka over at the Blue Lodge.  Given one of the cuter 
girls in class was going to be there, he couldn't afford to 
miss it.

	He'd bled enough for the gang for one day, anyway.  
He was sure things would now be looking up.

***********

	Mai came around a corner at the library and was 
surprised to see Ami standing there.  "Oh, hi, Mizuno-san," 
she said to Ami.

	Ami smiled.  "How are you?"

	"Tired, but mostly fine," Mai said.  

	"Are you here with your boyfriend?," Ami asked.

	"Yeah, he's up on another floor digging through 
historical books," Mai said.  "This place is huge."

	"Well, I came to get something to read and to get 
away from the music frenzy," Ami said.

	"Music frenzy?" Mai asked, cocking her head.

	"Everyone's rioting over her efforts to listen to some 
music at full volume, and I thought I'd duck out," Ami said.  

	She glanced at the book in Mai's hand.  "The Secret 
History of Mu."  Ami started to say something, then 
paused, then said, "Trying to look up the Tiki Gods?"

	Mai laughed nervously.  "You guessed that from the 
title?"

	"I'm doing a little research myself, just in case Minako 
buys any more cursed statues," Ami said.  A little 
nervously, she said, "How about if we work together?"

	"Sounds good to me," Mai said.  "I'm more of a leader 
than I am a researcher, I'm afraid."  She pulled out some 
garbled notes and catalogue numbers scribbled on scraps.  
"But here's what I have."

	"Okay," Ami said.  She led Mai over to a small table 
among the stacks, put her laptop down, and quickly 
transcribed everything into a series of files.  Mai watched 
her type at blinding speeds.  

	Then a series of windows popped up, browsers and 
document files; she could see various 'net searches 
beginning, and now a window opened with a list of books 
by call number, indicating which floor of the library they 
were on.

	Mai stared.  "Wow."

	"I'm not a great fighter, but I have my talents," Ami 
said, smiling a little.

	"Hmm."  She tried to think of a way to bring up the 
whole 'Princess Condiment' thing without giving herself 
away.  "So was that girl who showed up some kind of 
traditional enemy of the Tiki Gods, you think?"

	"Well, that's a good question.  Without a name, it's 
hard to look her up.  Unfortunately, I somehow keep 
finding material related to food companies or 'Strawberry 
Shortcake'.  If she had a name...," Ami said.

	"Hmm.  Sailor Condiment, maybe?  Or are there any 
astronomical bodies related to...umm...things like 
mayonaisse?" Mai asked hesitantly.

	"She's not a Sailor; her uniform seemed to be 
different; it's not one I've seen before."

	"And you're quite the Sailor fan," Mai said, pointing to 
the laptop.

	Ami blinked, then laughed, putting a hand behind her 
head.  "Well, yes."

	"Well, I am too," Mai said.  "We are in the United 
States...maybe her team protects the Western 
Hemisphere...the Sailors for Asia..."  She tried to think of 
any European magical girls, but it didn't ring any bells.

	"Hmm, that's possible," Ami said.  "Well, we have lots 
of leads, so let's get to work."

****************

	Back in Japan, Asou walked into the infirmary, 
studying the various members of the Video Club.  Half of 
them were asleep, while others laid about playing hand-
held video games.  He noticed Ishiyama was missing, 
though. 

	Asou walked over to Imadori, who was holding a 
compress to his head.  "Imadori-san," he said.

	"Yeah?" Imadori mumbled.

	"This is your warning.  Should you do anything to try 
to disrupt Yakumo's party, I will make you regret having 
ever been admitted to our school.  Much as I think this 
whole thing is a farce, my girlfriend has invested a lot of 
her heart into this, and I won't let you make her unhappy."

	"I have no intention of making Sara unhappy," 
Imadori said, sounding pained.  "So were those your 
weasels?"

	"No, but perhaps God tired of being mocked," Asou 
said.  "Remember, stay out of the way, or you will regret 
it."

	"We're just going to lie here and enjoy not being 
chewed on by weasels," Imadori said.  He pulled off his 
compress, which was on a bruise on his forehead.  "Can I 
beg you for some ice?"

	"No, you..." Asou paused, looked at the bruise.  
"Alright.  This time."

	He got some more ice and brought it to Imadori in the 
compress.  He didn't like the man, but he didn't like leaving 
people in pain, either.  

	"So what exactly happened with these weasels?" he 
asked, now worrying.

	Imadori explained it all.

	Asou nodded.  "Hmm.  I'd better make sure there are 
no more weasels or other package surprises.  Goodbye."

	"Bye.  If you see Yukari-chan or Eri-chan, let them 
know where I am," Imadori said.

	Asou decided a fight with a man with a head full of 
stubborn rock wasn't worth it.  "I'll do that," he said, and 
departed.

**************
	
	Eri strained about, trying to look at her back in the 
mirror as she tried to tie another layer into place.  No 
wonder princesses had ladies in waiting, she thought.  
You'd have to be some kind of circus rubber man to put this 
on without...

	Then arms reached around her and took the ties.  
"You're wearing the first layer on the outside, Eri-sempai," 
Yakumo said.

	Eri half-jumped out of her skin.  "Don't surprise me 
like that!"

 	"Sorry," Yakumo said so calmly that Eri couldn't tell if 
she was sorry at all.  "You'd better strip down and we'll 
start over," Yakumo said.

	"What makes you think you know how to do this 
better than me?" Eri said irritably, though she started to 
undress.  "You aren't just trying to get me naked, are you?"

	"I made it," Yakumo said.

	"Picky, picky," Eri grumbled, but she stripped down.  
"You had better not have been faking passing out."

	Yakumo sounded a little regretful as she said, "Sorry, 
sempai.  I fall asleep easily."

	As she undressed with Yakumo's help, then began to 
re-dress herself, Eri asked, "Why did you tumble out the 
door and pass out?"

	"Your thoughts were too intense for me," Yakumo 
said, her fingers gradually unsnarling a tangled knot.  "If I 
encounter too much...thought power...at once, I get blown 
away like a leaf in the wind."

	Eri blinked.  "My mind's that powerful?"  She had to 
admit, she felt a little flattered by that.

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	Eri couldn't help but feel mollified.  "Good."  

	As they continued to work, Eri gradually felt herself 
calm down.  No point in getting angry, really.  They'd 
managed to salvage Kenji's party as much as they could, 
and surely her parents didn't want her to end up married to 
Yakumo.  This whole thing was one of their annoyingly 
convoluted lessons for her, which would really go more 
smoothly if they EVER just said what they meant up front.

	Not that she was sure what they meant this time.  They 
certainly felt free to vanish without telling her whenever 
they liked.

	When all was done, she looked at herself in the mirror.  
Not bad, she thought.  If I do say so myself.  The dress fit 
her perfectly, making her wonder...  "How did you get my 
measurements?"

	"From your mother," Yakumo said.

	Definitely another lesson.  

	"So are you going to...," Eri began, then saw Yakumo 
had somehow gotten into her witch costume without Eri 
seeing her do it.  Eri resisted the urge to jump.  

	"Did they have witches...," Eri began.

	"They didn't have ABBA then, either," Yakumo said.  
"I have to check on preparations, then I'll come back and 
get you so we can greet people at the door."

	"What...what are we going to tell them?  I 
mean...about us," Eri said nervously, trying to not show it.

	"We are co-hostesses," Yakumo said.  "And go to 
school together."

	That would work, Eri thought.  She didn't want people 
to get the wrong idea or anything.  Even if...no, don't think 
about that, she thought.

	"I will see you soon, then," Yakumo said, then 
departed.

	Eri paced nervously.  There would be some kind of 
disaster.  There always was.  Surely Kenji wouldn't attack 
Yakumo's party.  And the perverts were out of action.  And 
Zenigata had come and gone.  So what could happen?  
Surely ABBA wouldn't riot.  The real Vikings were long 
dead, so unless their ghosts showed up...

	Their ghosts.

	Best to take no chances.  She went hunting for Sara, 
though by the time she found her, she was starting to feel 
her fears were ridiculous and she was nervous about 
expressing them.  

	Sara smiled at her sweetly.  "You look beautiful, 
sempai."  She was wearing a medieval nun's outfit, 
complete with big funky hat.  

	"Thank you, Sara-san," Eri said.  "You haven't sensed 
any sort of likely trouble, have you?"

	"I don't think so," Sara said.  "I made sure there 
wouldn't be any trouble with the food, either."

	"Good," Eri said.  "It's just that..."

	"Two out of three parties were wrecked by attacks," 
Sara said.  "Did Yakumo talk to you about getting more 
people to run our longboats?"

	"What?" Eri asked.  "For those trenches?"

	"Fjiords," Sara said.  "We need people to escort the 
guests in the boats."

	"I could ask some of the security men to help, I 
suppose," Eri said.

	Sara smiled at her brightly.  "Thank you, sempai.  
That's better than our original idea."

	"Original..."  Eri's brows narrowed.  "You weren't 
thinking of..."

	"Well, they're here and not doing much," Sara said.

	"Best to keep them out of it.  I'll see about some 
boatmen."  She paused.  "I'm surprised that you...I mean..."

	Sara cocked her head curiously.

	"Why is Yakumo trying to marry me?" Eri suddenly 
blurted out.

	"God does not unveil every mystery to me," Sara said, 
smiling.

	"..."

	Sara reached over and changed Eri's hairstyle to free-
standing, as the pony-tails really didn't work well with the 
large conical hat.  "I can just say that her love knows no 
boundaries.  I'm lucky to have some of it."

	"..."

	Sara got a mirror, then studied Eri's hair.  "And from 
the way you were kissing her in the other world..."

	"Accidents!  Why won't anyone believe me?" Eri 
asked, waving her arms about.

	Sara smiled at her in a way which made Eri want to 
burst through a wall.  "I'm just a little jealous she's kissed 
you and not me, though really, I do have a wonderful 
boyfriend."

	Eri could feel her ... meter rising towards a peak and 
feared what would happen when it topped off.  "Look, the 
magic meant I couldn't think straight and..."

	Sara's face turned more serious.  "I understand, 
sempai.  I turned into a boy briefly too."  She put her hands 
on Eri's shoulders.  "But I didn't feel the urge to kiss 
anyone I didn't already like."

	Eri stood transfixed, suddenly wondering if Sara was 
about to proclaim her love and kiss her.  She wanted to run, 
but her limbs wouldn't move.

	Instead, Sara traced a cross on Eri's forehead.  "I wish 
I could tell you for sure, sempai.  But I'm just supporting 
Yakumo-chan because she's my best friend.  Whatever she 
wants, I want it for her.  Peace of God on you, Sawachika-
sempai."

	"Thank you," Eri mumbled, and went off to arrange 
for the security men to go to work, wondering why she was 
bothering to help actively.  But if things went wrong, she'd 
look an idiot, and she couldn't bear that.

*************	

	Nara yawned and woke up.  The Video club was still 
wiped out around him.  Akira's mother was asleep in a 
chair.

	He hopped off the bed and went over to her, shaking 
her gently.  "Takano-san, are you okay?"

	She yawned.  "I'm fine.  I just needed some rest."  She 
sighed.  "It's been far more stressful than I expected."

	"You can have my bed there if you want it," he said.  
"I should go find Akira-san."

	"I think she and the Harima boy went over to the other 
lodge to get some sleep.  Or maybe kill something, as she 
was in a bad mood."

	"Because of me getting captured?" he asked.

	She blinked.  "You slept through the whole thing."

	"What thing?" he asked.

	"I'd better take you to see Akira," Mrs. Takano said.  
"And tell you what happened."  She got up.  "Assuming we 
can find her."

	"I hope so," Nara said, then followed her out.

**************
	
	Asou studied his costume as Sara helped him don it.  
"I hope we're not tempting disaster," he said.

	"We'll be fine.  I'm sure there's no chance this clothing 
will whisk us away to another universe," Sara said, 
buttoning the back of his shirt.

	"..."

	She laughed.  "I'm teasing."

	He let out a sigh of relief.  "I've had enough of other 
worlds for now."

	"Of course, we may time travel..."

	"..."

	"Got you again," she said, then kissed his cheek.  "Is 
something wrong?"

	"It's just that something has wrecked both of the other 
parties and I keep wondering what's going to level this 
one," he said, turning to face her and sitting down on the 
bed.

	She grabbed his boots and put them on his feet.  "It's 
all going to be fine."  She tapped her cheek.  "Although..."

	"Although?" he asked.  Ominous trailing off is 
ALWAYS bad.

	"It is possible that the guests may not like ABBA or 
the theme or someone might just do something simple like 
fall in the fjiords," Sara said.

	"Or try to drink the fjiords," Asou said, shaking his 
head.  Harima is insane, he thought.

	"Anyway, let's go double-triple check to avoid any 
food problems, and then I think it'll be party time," Sara 
said.

	Asou nodded and got up.  "Let's go check the food, 
then."

	The food, thankfully, was alright, so they headed off 
to take up their positions.

*************

	Satsuki stared.  How did Suga's wallet get in my 
pocket?

	"You ready?" he asked, sticking his head in.

	She hid it instinctively.  "Yes, I'm ready."

	"I can't find my wallet," he said, frowning.

	She tossed it to him.  "I found it on the floor in the 
hallway.  You should take better care of it."

	He sighed.  "Yeah.  Let's go, dear."

	She got up, came over to him, then said, "I wish I 
knew if Dad is okay.  Mom hasn't heard from him since the 
attack here a week ago."

	"I'm sure wherever he is, he's fine."

*************

	The boxing kangaroo stared in confusion at the man 
charging it, dropping and catching an orange thing over and 
over.  As it came within reach, he lashed out at the man, 
only to get smacked in the side by the man's elbow as he 
went by, dodging the blow to one side.  

	As he spun, the man threw his orange thing at the back 
of the boxing kangaroo's head, knocking it down.  Then he 
began to drop and catch his ball repeatedly on its torso as it 
tried to get back up.

	Finally, it decided to fake unconsciousness, so as to 
avoid more beating.  I never should have left that cushy job 
at Ohtori, it thought.

	Satsuki's father caught his ball and did a victory 
dance.  "As you fall, so shall Suga!"

	At a distance, Mr. Gonzales and Mr. Hanai observed.  
"I'm impressed," Mr. Hanai said.  "I didn't think creating a 
martial art from scratch would be so easy."

	"Every so often, a Luchador has to freshen his style, 
so as to be less predictable," Mr. Gonzales said.  "And I 
think this style, it grows from within him.  As he gets in 
better shape, his old powers return."

	"The same for you," Mr. Hanai pointed out.

	Mr. Gonzales smiled ruefully.  "Lala will be happier 
with me."  That seemed to finish brightening him up.  "I 
have done too much to embarrass her."

	"She loves you very much," Mr. Hanai said.  "She will 
be a very strong warrior once she tames her temper."

	"Her mother was fiery like that."  Mr. Gonzales 
sighed, reaching for a bottle that didn't exist.  His fingers 
worked the air as he said, "I loved her very much."

	"Well, you have to look to the future, except when you 
need an excuse to cause your kids trouble," Mr. Hanai said.

	"You rarely seem to need much of an excuse," Mr. 
Gonzales pointed out.

	"He's a good boy, but too stiff for his own good.  I will 
lighten him up if it kills us all," Mr. Hanai said.  "No 
discipline when he needs it, too much when he doesn't."

	"He and Lala would have made a good couple," Mr. 
Gonzales said wistfully.

	"Perhaps so, but we can't change the past, just the 
future," Mr. Hanai said.

	"PLAY ME!" Satsuki's father shouted at people 
passing the basketball court.

	"Like avoiding a riot," Mr. Gonzales said.

	"I think it's time for his sedative sucker punch," Mr. 
Hanai said.  "You distract him, I'll take the shot."

	Mr. Gonzales laughed.  "Let's go, Senor Hanai."

**************

	"Have you prepared your excuse for when disaster 
strikes, dear?" Mrs. Sawachika asked her daughter.

	"I can't believe you're taking this risk with the family's 
reputation," Eri said.

	"A little eccentricity gives one room to manuever," 
Mrs. Sawachika said.  "And we've neglected making sure 
you understand the cost of your desires, I think."

	Eri frowned.  "I know about costs," she said.

	"Well, it never hurts to expand one's knowledge," Eri's 
mother said.  

	"What if people think...," Eri said nervously.

	"You must lie in the bed you've made," Eri's mother 
said.  "Now, go be a good hostess."

	Eri grimaced, then put on a fake smile and went to do 
her duty.

*************	

	Karen danced with Harry, listening to the musical 
stylings of Abba.  Only a few people had shown up yet; 
there would be dancing until dinner, then dinner, then more 
dancing.  It was nice to relax her vocal cords and take it 
easy, though performing had been fun.

	"So what do you think will strike this time?" Harry 
asked.

	"Oh, I'm sure this one will go smoothly.  Tsukamoto-
san is very responsible and no one hates her," Karen said.

	He spun her out, then spun himself.  "Well, someone 
planted those weasels."

	"But not in the party," Karen said.  She looked around 
nervously.  "You don't think there will be more, do you?"

	"Maybe," Harry said.  "Or Tomo may come back for 
revenge."

	"Kind of late for that," Karen said, though now she 
was more worried.  

	He swept them back together, then dipped her.  "We'll 
have to see, I guess."

	Please let's just have a nice party, Karen thought.  
Then she would go to bed and sleep a few days.

	Nothing showed up while they were still dancing, at 
least.

*************

	Harima was snoring in a chair in Akira and Nara's 
room, to Nara's surprise.  Akira was asleep on the bed.

	Mrs. Takano quietly picked up Harima to take him to 
his own room, while Nara crept in.  She waved farewell to 
him and hauled Harima off, while Nara took his outerwear 
off, then slipped over and laid down by Akira, quickly 
falling asleep.

************	

	"You must be wiped out from hosting three parties in 
a row for your family," Mrs. Yamazen said to Eri at the 
front door.  She was a tall, skinny woman with too much 
makeup.

	Her daughter, a short, slender blonde, kept trying to 
roam off, but the silent Mr. Yamazen kept hold of one 
hand, stopping her.

	Yakumo knealt down by the child.  "Want to see some 
magic?" she asked softly.

	"Yeah," the kid said.  "This is booooring."

	Eri said to Mrs. Yamazen, "I get by with a little help 
from my friends."  She prayed she was remembering Mrs. 
Yamazen's tastes correctly.

	Mrs. Yamazen laughed.  "I brought a few tapes, for 
when the band takes a break."

	Of course you did, Eri thought.  But she smiled.  "If 
you can give them to our DJ, I'll make sure he plays 
something for you.  He's near the stage."

	Yakumo reached over to the child's ear while making 
a mystic gesture with her other hand.  This enabled her to 
fumble a small doll into her other hand, then produce it 
'from the ear'.  "There you go," she said.

	The little girl clapped her hands.  "Yaaay!  You're a 
good witch."

	'She needs to work on her sleight of hand,' Mr. 
Yamazen thought.  

	Yakumo felt slightly embarrassed.  

	"Oooh, Gandalf," Mrs. Yamazen said to Yakumo, 
looking at her outfit.  In addition to too much Beatles 
obsession, she was, in general, an anglophile.

	"Thank you," Yakumo said.  Not the idea, but best to 
let people draw their own conclusions.

	"Suga-san will take you to your table," Eri said, 
gesturing to Suga, who bowed and took Mrs. Yamazen's 
arm, guiding her forwards with child and husband in tow.

	"Don't worry, there's little danger of an Irish raid," 
Suga said as he headed off with them.

	Eri frowned.  The last thing we need is Suga filling 
people's head with fears.  Or giving the universe ideas.

	She felt something odd, then realized Yakumo was 
patting her shoulder.  "Don't worry, sempai," she said 
softly.

	"Much as I don't want to be here, this HAS to go 
smoother than the other two parties, or my family will end 
up utterly embarrassed by our parties," Eri said, grimacing.

	"I'm sure everything will go well.  There's no one else 
to attack now, right?" Yakumo asked.

	"Unless our family's traditional enemies show up.  The 
last thing we need is a ninja attack now," Eri said.

	"I'm sure the ninjas aren't watching us," Yakumo said.

	"I wish I could be that confident."

***************

	In the cold and lonely evening, a light mist was 
forming on the highway, and a cool breeze blowing.  
Distantly, one could hear the roar of an engine.

	Two ninjas stood on the road at a high point, 
observing the lodge through binoculars.  "Soon, more 
guests will arrive, and then we will signal our master it is 
time to strike," the first ninja said.

	"Yes, I know," the second said.

	"This will bring about the annhilation of the 
Sawachika clan in front of its guests, the perfect 
humiliation!," the first ninja said.

	"Yes, I know that too," the second said, slightly 
irritated and more bored.

	"FINALLY, VENGEANCE WILL BE OURS!" the 
first ninja shouted.

	"It's hard for us to hide when you keep screaming 
every three minutes, you know," the second ninja said.

	"No one can hear me out here on this road, and we're 
so well hidden in the mist that no one can see us," the first 
ninja said.  "Also, the mist muffles the sound so noises 
don't carry well."

	"That would be a good definition of 'muffling the 
sound', yes," the second ninja said, arms crossed over her 
chest.

	"Do you have to criticize EVERYTHING I do?" the 
first ninja asked.

	"Only when it's stupid," she said.

	"But you always..."

	"There's a lesson there, you know."

	"Hrmph," the first ninja grumbled.  "Anyway, we're 
perfectly...."

	Then a Porsche roared up the crest of the hill and 
slammed into them, knocking them off the road into a 
ditch.  Only a samurai (or a pirate or a ninja or a hobbit) 
can kill a ninja, so they didn't die.  However, they were 
going to sleep for a looong time.

	Mrs. Imadori blinked.  Did I hit something?  She 
finally managed to stop and got out and studied the front of 
her car, which had no dents because ninjas hide so well that 
you can't see their impact craters.  

	After a bit of wandering around and calling out, she 
concluded she must just have been imagining things.  She 
hopped in her car and drove on, leaving the ninjas to sleep.

*************

	Yakumo pulled a coin out of Suzimaya Haruichi's ear.  
"Here you go," she said, smiling a little.

	"I saw you take it out of your sleeve," he said flatly, 
sticking out his tongue at her.

	Yakumo tried to figure out how to reply as his parents 
snickered.  She felt flustered, and could feel the press of 
their not-impressed at all thoughts.  This just made her 
more flustered.

	Eri glanced down at Yakumo, her face locked in a 
smile that Yakumo knew she didn't feel.  She felt a burst of 
irritation from Eri, which only made her want to shrink in 
on herself more.  "How about..." she began.

	"Magic's fake!  You're fake!  Why do I have to come 
to a party full of fakes?" Haruichi demanded angrily.  

	Yakumo could feel Eri grow more irritated, and the 
press of mocking thoughts was hard to ignore.  Maybe this 
had all been a mistake.

	Before she could try to exit, stage left, however, Eri 
said, "Why don't you show him your card trick?"

	Nervously, Yakumo took out a deck and shuffled it 
and held it out.  "Pick a card, any card."

	"Oh, I know this one," the boy said, bored.

	Yakumo studied his mind as the parents watched, 
clearly ready to laugh at her again.  The boy's mind was an 
open book.  He had the four of hearts.

	"Four of hearts," she said.

	Eri now said, "So did you let the dogs loose at the 
Takoya's harvest festival party, Haruichi?"

	"No, of course not," he said.  "Why..."  But Yakumo 
could see that he did.

	"Yes, you did," she said softly.  Another thought 
bobbed by.  "You were bored, so you turned them all 
loose."

	"No, I didn't!" he said frantically, dropping the card.  
It was the four of hearts.

	His parents turned and glared at him.  "I knew you did 
it," his mother said.  "We're going to have to spank you 
now."

	"But no, I didn't do it!"  Haruichi wailed as he got 
hauled away.  

	"I'm surprised they believed me," Yakumo said softly.

	"You confirmed their suspicions.  People believe what 
reinforces their own beliefs," Eri said.  "I was going to ask 
him if he was hiding his wife's liquor again next if I had 
to."

	She was scowling, but Yakumo got more of a feeling 
of triumph from her than of anger.  

	"Oh my," Yakumo said weakly.  "I really shouldn't 
probe people's minds just to embarrass them."

	"You're probably right," Eri said, then put her fake 
smile back on.  

	"You don't have to pretend for me," Yakumo said 
softly.

	Eri's expression crashed for a moment, then she said, 
"It's not for you.  I have to play the good hostess, even 
though I'm tired.  Uphold the family honor."

	"I understand," Yakumo said.

	Eri stared into Yakumo's eyes intently, her gaze 
intense.  Yakumo could feel the intensity of Eri's mind, but 
she couldn't read it, somehow.  She resisted the urge to 
stare back intensely, and instead just tried to look 
understanding.

	"I suppose you do.  It can't always be easy taking care 
of Tenma," Eri said.

	"My sister loves me with all her heart," Yakumo said.  
"But it can be a lot of work, sometimes."

	Eri stared down at the floor for a moment, then looked 
up soberly.  "I can imagine."

	"But I don't mind, because she loves me and I love 
her," Yakumo said.  Well, usually didn't mind.  It could be 
difficult, sometimes, but she would do her best to overcome 
that.  It was the best way she could show her sister her love.

	"You don't mind?" Eri asked softly.

	Yakumo stared at the floor a moment, then said, "I 
don't mind."  She didn't mind, really.  

	Eri reached over and lifted Yakumo's chin.  "It's okay 
to want things for yourself, you know.  You can't be your 
sister's keeper forever."

	"I know," Yakumo said softly.

	Eri was about to say something, but they heard 
footsteps and heard one of the security men saying, "This 
way, everyone."

	Eri's game face snapped on, and Yakumo composed 
herself.  The show must go on.

************

	Mai watched Ami take notes at blinding speed, typing 
like crazy and reading at what seemed to be the speed of 
light while she herself poked along.

	There has to be something I can do, Mai thought.  To 
keep up.

	Tougo sauntered up now with a notebook and a few 
books.  "There you are, honey.  Mizuno-san, it's nice to see 
you."

	Ami smiled at him.  "Thank you, Tougo-san."

	"Made any grand breakthroughs?," he asked.

	"It's rather contradictory," Ami said.  "Some evidence 
indicates the Tiki Gods were made up by a club owner, 
others that they are thousands of years old and connected to 
ancient Mu."

	"To cows?" Tougo asked in confusion.

	"Augustus Le Plongeon, in his study of the Maya, 
concluded they came from the lost continent of Mu, which 
supposedly once existed in the Pacific ocean, though 
contemporary plate tectonic theories make it unlikely any 
lost continents ever existed there.  And if they did, they 
might well be ground under by now," Ami said.  "But if Mu 
did exist, apparently, it is connected to Tiki Gods, Mayans, 
and maybe other lost civilizations," Ami said.  
"Unfortunately, there's not much reliable on Mu, probably 
because it's likely a myth, though these Tiki gods seemed 
rather real."

	"You did make Aino get rid of the statuette, right?" 
Tougo asked.  

	"Yes," Ami said.  "We shouldn't have any more 
trouble from it."

***************

	Minako studied the two pieces of jewelry's labels.  

	The golden necklace of a falcon in flight said 
'Egyptian God Horus necklace'.  Minako frowned.  Stolen 
Egyptian antiquities!  She would have to show this to the 
authorities!

	She studied the other one.  'Ancient Necklace of 
Lemuria.  Not cursed AT ALL'.  It was made of silver and 
gold with a silver moon eclipsing a golden sun.  She liked 
the look of it.

	Yes, buy this one and then report the owner to the 
authorites, Minako thought.  That was best.

************
 	
	"Hello, you must be my son's fiancee," Mrs. Imadori 
said to Eri.

	Eri stared at her mindlessly for a moment, then said, 
"It's a pleasure to meet you."  She was lying of course.  "I'm 
sure my parents will want you to sit with them," she said.  

	Mrs. Imadori smiled warmly.  She turned to Yakumo.  
"My goodness, you look older than my son mentioned."

	Yakumo blinked.  "I do?"

	"You're Tsukamoto-san, right?" she asked.

	"Yes," Yakumo said a little warily.  

	"Not as flat-chested as he mentioned, either."  She 
shook her head.  "The boy really holds a little too 
obsessively to a high standard."

	Yakumo's certainly not flat chested, Eri thought.  She's 
about the same as me, and I'm not flat chested, even if 
Imadori refuses to grope me.  Not that I want him to.  But 
it's so insulting.  "Yakumo-san has a nice figure," she said.

	"Oh, you're Tsukamoto's little sister," Mrs. Imadori 
said.  "Well, it's nice to meet both of you.  I was supposed 
to come yesterday, but this Zenigata fellow thought I was 
speeding, which of course I wasn't, and..."

	Eri frowned.  "You had a run-in with him?"

	"Yes," Mrs. Imadori said.

	"Oh, my parents will definitely want to commiserate.  
Asou-san."

	Asou stepped up and took Mrs. Imadori's arm stiffly.  
"If you'll come with me."

	"Of course."  She smiled at both of them, then at 
Asou.  "Lead me on, handsome."

	Asou's eyes flickered wider a moment, then settled 
into his usual slight scowl.  "Thank you," he said 
mechanically, and led her away.

	"I hope she's not as much trouble as her son," Eri said, 
grumbling.

	"That wouldn't be easy," Yakumo said.

	Eri smiled a tiny smile.  "Well, at least she doesn't 
grope people."

	"That's true," Yakumo said.  "I'm sure she won't cause 
any trouble."

***************
	
	Asou escorted Mrs. Imadori to Mr. and Mrs. 
Sawachika's table.  He noticed they'd both been dressed up 
in medieval garb as well, though she seemed more 
enthusiastic than him.	"Sawachika-sama, this is Imadori's 
mother."

	"We've met," Ami Sawachika said, smiling.  "We 
were worried when you didn't show up yesterday, Imadori-
san."

	Asou quickly made his exit.

	"I had a little trouble with traffic police working for 
someone named Zenigata," Mrs. Imadori said.

	Henry sighed.  "We had some trouble ourselves.  I'm 
sorry, he's a well-meaning old man, but he's getting a little 
crazed in his old age."

	Mrs. Imadori sat down.  "Where's my boy?"

	"He got attacked by weasels," Ami said.

	"..."

	"I know.  I fear it is a case of our daughter not having 
learned any subtlety," Ami said very softly.

	Mrs. Imadori frowned.  "She set weasels on my boy?"

	"On the Video Club," Henry said.  "Most of them 
probably could do with a few more weasel attacks."

	Mrs. Imadori looked at him suspiciously.

	"But it wasn't me," Henry said quickly.

	"I will have to get to the bottom of this," Mrs. Imadori 
said.

	"Good.  We need to ensure a minimum of crazed 
animal attacks in the future," Mrs. Sawachika said.

	"Things going well other than that, so far?" Mrs. 
Imadori asked.

	"Developing interestingly.  Let me tell you about the 
two parties you missed..."  

	This would take a while.

*************

	Harima awoke in the process of his shoes being pulled 
off by Mrs. Takano.  He stared at her.  "Please tell me," he 
began.

	"I'm just making sure you don't get dirt on the bed," 
Mrs. Takano said.  "How is she?"

	"How...oh, Akira-san," Harima said, now taking his 
shoes off himself while she leaned against a wall.  "I let her 
take it out on me instead of Interpol."

	Mrs. Takano winced.  "She was..."

	"It surprised me too," Harima said.  "But I expect 
releasing all that steam should help."

	"She doesn't normally have steam to release," Mrs. 
Takano said.  Not in public, anyway.  "But I understand her 
feelings."  She shook her head, making a fist for a moment, 
though her face was calm.  "I think I see a little better now 
why she was willing to go to so much effort for you."

	"What?" Harima asked.  "Oh you mean feeding me all 
that information?"

	"It doesn't just pop into her head.  She had to do the 
research to know who they were, memorize the info, then 
guide you with it, plus the financial matters and everything 
else.  I'm still not sure if you're worth it, but I am grateful to 
you for keeping my daughter from anything foolish."

	"Of course I'm worth it," Harima said a little defiantly.  
"But I think Akira-san is old enough to decide that for 
herself."

	"Are you trying to add her to your harem?" Mrs. 
Takano asked bluntly.  

	"..."

	"I know you're at the age where hormones rule.  Even 
Akira has to struggle with them and she has more control 
than I did at that age.  But my daughter already has a 
boyfriend.  And you already have two girlfriends," Mrs. 
Takano said.  "You're very handsome, but her boyfriend is 
a good guy who deserves better than to have some 
handsome guy steal her from him."

	"..."

	Mrs. Takano advanced, trying to loom over Harima, 
which would have worked better if she hadn't been fairly 
smaller than Harima.  "So why do you need a fiancee when 
you already have a girlfriend?"

	"I can't let her get enslaved by that punk Imadori," 
Harima said fervently.

	"So she's just a pawn to you in some macho contest 
between men?", Mrs. Takano demanded.

	"How can you call Imadori a man?" Harima 
demanded.  "He's a stupid little kid."

	"No dodging.  Would you have any interest in her at 
all if he wasn't...," Mrs. Takano began.

	"She's not just some kind of prize for me, if that's what 
you mean," Harima said hotly.  "And if you weren't a 
woman, I'd beat the crap out of you for accusing me of 
that!"  He leaned forward, and she retreated.

	"Get out of here, I don't have to answer your damn 
inquisition!," Harima shouted.  "You're not my mother!"
  	
	Mrs. Takano frowned and retreated, deciding it was 
time for her to take a nap and then see what she could learn 
from the other girl.  Or Sawachika herself.

***************
	
	Yakumo glanced over at Eri and her fake smile.  She 
wondered how it fooled anyone, but it seemed to fool 
everyone.  She could feel an undercurrent of nervousness, 
something about...

	"Are you worried about that teacher showing up?" 
Yakumo asked.

	"No, of course not," Eri said.  "If she and Imadori 
want to shag like mad weasels, it's not my problem."

	Yakumo could tell she was lying.  "Well, it is my 
party, so I can ban her if you want me to."

	Eri looked at her.  "Would you?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Let's hope she shows so we can kick her out, then," 
Eri said.

***********
	 
	Imadori was asleep with a manga on his face when his 
mother shook him gently.  "Wake up, dear."

	He almost bit down on it, then gagged and woke up.  
"I...what...Mom!"  She got a hug from him.  "Why didn't 
you call?  I was worried."

	"Phone battery ran down again."  She sighed.  "Stupid 
police chased me halfway across Japan, so I had to return 
slowly."  She shook her head.  "Tell me about this weasel 
attack."

	"Well, it has to be someone here at the lodge," Imadori 
said.  "Only, how they knew to put it in a box we'd open..."

	He carefully explained the whole thing.

	"It may have been meant to happen when you got 
home and unpacked," Mrs. Imadori said.  "Given you won't 
be here much longer.  You rest, I'll go take a look at the 
room and the box."

	"Thanks, Mom," he said.  "I wish you could have seen 
the party.  It was glorious."

	"This one looks nice too," Mrs. Imadori said.

	"Tsukamoto's sister needs larger breasts, but I expect 
she'd be a good hostess, as she's kind and attentive," 
Imadori said.  "And cooks well.  Just be careful and find 
out what Tsukamoto cooked for her sister, as it may kill 
you."

	"I'll keep that in mind," Mrs. Imadori said.

*************

	"Takano-san," Eri said, smiling warmly.  "Welcome."

	"I need...well, I see you're both busy," Mrs. Takano 
said.

	Yakumo said, "Is something wrong?"

	"I'll ask you tomorrow," she said.  "I think I'd best go 
arrange myself a hotel room.  Since you're busy right now."

	"You can stay here...hmm, actually, we may be out of 
room," Eri said.  "Is the other lodge full?"

	"I think it best I let some fires go out before I try 
again," Mrs. Takano said.  

	Eri looked at her curiously.

	Yakumo said, "Is someone angry at you?"  She 
sounded a little worried.

	"Yes, I pressed too hard," Mrs. Takano said ruefully.  
"But I have to know."

	"Know what?"  Eri asked.

	"I'll talk to you tomorrow about it," Mrs. Takano said.  
"Oh...  Have you had past problems with Zenigata?"

	"One of my relatives used to work with him," Eri said.  
"But he's never caused us trouble beyond getting our uncle 
into troublesome situations at times," she finished.

	Mrs. Takano nodded.  "I see.  Farewell, then."  She 
took off.

	Eri frowned.  "I wonder if she and Akira had a fight 
over something."

	"She wouldn't run from fighting with her daughter, I 
don't think," Yakumo said.  "Would she?"

	"Maybe not," Eri said.  She called Asou over.  "I think 
the guests have largely arrived.  Can you check with my 
mother and see?"

	"Of course," he said, heading out.

	"You're lucky to have Asou on your side," Eri said.  

	"He'll do anything for Sara," Yakumo said, smiling.

	Eri felt a little envious of that.  

***************

	Mrs. Imadori studied the box, sprinkling talcum 
powder on it.  This showed some fingerprints, which she 
collected with tape.  The problem, however, was how to 
match them to anyone.  It also suddenly hit her that, in fact, 
most likely several members of the club's fingerprints 
would also be on this.  

	This never happened on CSI, dammit.

	However, she could collect them all, compare to the 
club members, see what remained, and...

	She couldn't just interrogate everyone at the party.  
Not at a party this size...

	This never happened on CSI, dammit.

	There had to be some way to get everyone's 
fingerprints.  But how?  

	She sat down and thought.  The most likely culprits 
were probably Akira (a meddler), Harima (a delinquent), 
Eri (frequently crabby with her son, who Eri utterly failed 
to appreciate somehow), the Butler (always a suspect), 
Yoshidayama (who had been suspiciously ready to flee), 
Yakumo (girlfriend of a delinquent), and Tenma 
(apparently a food-based assassin for hire).  Mikoto would 
have just punched Kyousuke, and Karen would never do 
anything this mean.  

	She tapped her cheek.  Hmm, yes, Karen might be a 
good person to talk to.  See if she knows any secrets...

*************

	"Never draw on an inside straight?" Karen said 
nervously.

	"Not that kind of secret," Mrs. Imadori said.  "Do you 
have any idea who would put weasels to attack my son?"

	Karen thought for a minute.  "Not really.  Although 
Harima-san does talk to animals."

	"Oh ho," Mrs. Imadori said.  "Is he around here?"

	"He's at the other lodge," Karen said.

	"Thank you.  You're a very helpful girl," Mrs. Imadori 
said.  "It's a pity things didn't work out with you and 
Kyousuke, but he's too young to settle down, really."

	"But...didn't you approve his engagement to Eri?" 
Karen asked in confusion.

	"It's for their own good, really," Mrs. Imadori said 
quickly.  "Goodbye for now."  

	She left quickly, leaving Karen to wonder.

***************
	
	Yakumo had the feeling she should have put herself 
forward more strongly while greeting people at the door.  
Unfortunately, Eri had known everyone and she hadn't, so 
she'd tended to let Eri take the lead while she played 
entertainer.  As it was, she wasn't sure if she was doing 
well or not, though Mrs. Sawachika looked cheerful.  

	They'd finished door greeting, and now they were 
eating dinner while ABBA performed.  She wondered 
exactly how much it had cost to get them and hoped she 
wouldn't have to repay it.  However, Mrs. Sawachika 
seemed to really enjoy their music, which would be good, 
Yakumo hoped.

	I really shouldn't have let Osaka find the recipies, 
Yakumo decided as she ate her strange looking food.  It 
actually tasted pretty good, but food wasn't normally so 
blue and pink.  

	Eri ate quietly, listening to the music, and Yakumo 
half-listened to the music and half-watched her, asking 
herself what she was doing.  She couldn't really marry Eri, 
though Eri's boy form had been cute but she wasn't a boy 
now.  She just didn't want Harima running off with Eri.  Or 
Eri with Harima.  They both seemed important.

	"Maybe I should put on a magic show as part of this," 
Yakumo said thoughtfully.

	"Best we avoid magic," Eri said.  "Or everyone...oh, 
you mean stage magic."  She looked over at Yakumo.

	Yakumo said, "Once ABBA finishes."

	"If you want to," Eri said.  "It's your party."

	Yakumo decided to think about it, though really, she 
only knew some sleight of hand tricks.  But she had to do 
something.  It seemed like everyone was working harder 
than her, and that wouldn't do.

*************
		
	"Wow, you're collecting the fingerprints of famous 
delinquents?" Harima asked the blonde woman.  He was 
still groggy, having been woken from a nap.  

	"I just need you and the Steel Rose to complete my 
collection," she said.

	"Sure thing," he said, inking his finger and pressing it 
to the autograph book, then signing it.  "That'll be pretty 
valuable one day, you know," he said.

	She nodded.  "It already is, but I'm sure it'll grow more 
valuable now that it can no longer be obtained from 
foreheads you beat down," she said.

	He grinned.  "Well, I'm out of that business.  I'm a 
manga-ka now."

	"Congratulations," she said.  "Delinquency is really a 
game for the young; you can't do it all your life."

	"I know," he said, yawning.  

	"I shouldn't keep you up," she said.  "Sleep well."  
And then she was gone.

	He fell asleep without even asking himself who she 
was or how she got there.

***********

	"Damn, no match at all," Mrs. Imadori said, 
comparing prints.  "Takano Akira would never be stupid 
enough to fall for that, but maybe I can sneak in..."

	She crept over to Akira's door, only to hear footsteps.  
Desperately, she hid in a nearby closet.  

	She heard more footsteps in the hallway, and then the 
sound of a hammer and nails at work.  The footsteps 
receded.

	A quick check showed she was now nailed into the 
closet.

	And her phone still needed recharging.

	And she couldn't afford to be caught sneaking around 
enemy territory.

	This was going to be difficult.

***********

	Mrs. Sawachika came over to Yakumo and Eri's table.  
"Any special entertainment planned?"

	"What, ABBA isn't special enough for you?" Eri 
snapped a little crabbily.

	"I think everything is going to be peaceful, unless my 
parents return with pirates chasing them," Yakumo said.

	"..."

	"But that's really not likely, as I'm sure they would call 
ahead," Yakumo said.

	The ground shook, and everyone looked around 
nervously.

	"Well, no one can really be blamed for an earth..."

	The ground shook again.

	Everyone looked around more nervously, though 
ABBA kept singing.

	"That's not...no, it couldn't be."  For just one brief 
moment, Eri had wondered if somehow Imadori had gotten 
a giant robot and was about to attack.  But surely not.

	Yakumo stood up and closed her eyes, reaching out 
with her mind to try to feel what was coming.

	Eri looked at her curiously.

	"What are you..."  SHAKE.  "doing?" Mrs. Sawachika 
asked.
	
	Manga...manga...manga...  It was easy to feel the 
approaching being's powerful thoughts.  "Don't worry, it's 
my editor," Yakumo said.

	"Your...editor?"  Mrs. Sawachika asked nervously.

	"He was hoping to come this morning, but the train 
broke down under his weight," Yakumo explained.

	"..."

	The editor entered through the doors, nearly ripping 
them off their hinges.  Most of the audience saw him 
coming and retreated in fear from this massive man.  
ABBA lost track of what song they were singing and 
stared.

	He stopped before Yakumo's table, where she stood up 
to meet him.  "Thank you for coming, sir," she said.

	He smiled.  "It is good to see you again.  Is the next 
chapter ready?"

	She pulled out a manila folder and handed it to him.  
"Kenji-san is resting after being up all night," she said.

	"Ahh, good, that's how hard a manga-ka should work," 
he said.  "Did the manga copies I sent arrive?"

	"Yes, sir," she said.  Oh dear, I should have prepared a 
table for him.  "Come with me and I'll get you a table."  
Several tables.

	She led him off with everyone staring at her with a 
little bit of awe.  Except for Eri, who just shook her head.  
"Well, not half as bad as it could have been," she said to 
her mother.

	"That's their boss?" Mrs. Sawachika asked in surprise.

	"It seem so," Eri said.  "He's so big."

	"Hmmm," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "No fear at all."

	"Well, he really wasn't that dangerous," Eri said, 
disregarding she'd been shaking with everyone else.

	"This will require thought," Mrs. Sawachika 
pronounced.  

	Eri never liked hearing her mother say that.

****************

	Harima sat up, wondering what had woken him from 
his nap.  Beyond this vague feeling he ought to be working 
on his manga.  So he got out of bed and went to work on 
the next chapter.  

	He was in the middle of this when there was a knock 
on his door.  "Come in," he said.

	Mikoto stuck her head in.  "Did you and Akira have a 
fight?"

	"We were just sparring," he said.  "She needed to blow 
off some steam."

	"I see," Mikoto said, sounding oddly disappointed.  

	She wasn't hoping it was a real fight, was she, Harima 
thought.  No, that made no sense at all.  Surely she wouldn't 
want that.  But why is she...  Hey, you got any idea, 
obnoxious woman in my head?

	She's disappointed Akira didn't come to her, I think, 
Onna-Harima said. 

	Huh, Harima thought.  He said, "I thought you guys all 
went to bed."

	"Not this early, though we are kind of resting.  I 
suppose we should go see Yakumo's party," Mikoto said.  
"You want to come?"

	"What with the contest, I should probably stay out," 
Harima said a little nervously.  "And I'm busy trying to 
meet my next deadline."

	"Okay," Mikoto said, sounding dubious.  "See you 
later, then."

	She took off and Harima returned to his work.  

	After a while of writing, he realized he was going to 
need some help with poses, and Yakumo wasn't here.  But 
maybe Tenma would be.  

	A quick check showed no Tenma.  Or Karasuma.  So 
they were probably...

	Harima ground his teeth and tried not to think about 
that while he worked on finding help.

	Everyone seemed to be asleep or gone, unfortunately.

	He'd gone back to his room and was doing some 
simple stick figure layouts for future pages when Tenma 
stuck her head in, back to normal.  "Hi, Kenji-kun," she 
said.  "We're about to go hit Yakumo's party.  You'll come, 
won't you?"

	"I don't know if I should, given everything," Harima 
said, staring at the floor.  

	"I guess there is the contest thing," Tenma said a little 
dubiously.  "Ya...no, I guess she did sleep through your 
party."  She put her hands on her hips.  "You'd better spend 
some time with her tomorrow."

	"I will," Harima said.  "Are you okay?  After the 
whole..."

	"I'm fine," Tenma said.  "So how is the manga 
coming?"

	"Good.  Yakumo-san and I will work on it tomorrow," 
Harima said.

	"Good.  You're laying the foundation of your future 
together!  You'll be a good couple," Tenma said.  "Now I 
have to go help Yakumo win Eri's hand in marriage.  I'll see 
you later."  She ran off.

	Harima wondered how she could hold both thoughts in 
her mind at the same time.  Truly Tenma-chan is a genius, 
he thought.  She can even overcome paradoxes.

	He just wished he could.

	His phone rang.  "Hello?" he asked.

	"ARE YOU WORKING ON THE MANGA?"  It was 
Editor-san.  Harima's hair blew in the wind.

	"Yes, sir!" he said.

	"YOUR ASSISTANT GAVE ME THE 
COMPLETED CHAPTER.  YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A 
RAISE."

	"Yes, sir!"

	"THE NEXT CHAPTER IS DUE THE DAY YOUR 
WINTER BREAK ENDS."

	"Yes, sir!"  Harima fought the urge to salute.

	"ALSO, I WANT YOU AND NIJOU TO DO A 
JOINT COVER FOR THE NEXT ISSUE.  DUE WITH  
YOUR NEXT CHAPTER."

	"Yes, sir!" Harima said.  Wait...WITH KARASUMA?  
"Wait, you mean..."

	"HE IS YOUR CLASSMATE.  THAT SHOULD 
MAKE IT EASY."

	Harima felt ready to tear his hair out, but he 
despairingly said, "Yes, sir."

	"I UNDERSTAND INTERNATIONAL JEWEL 
THIEVES ATTACKED YOUR PARTY," the editor said.

	"Yes, sir," Harima said nervously.

	"YOU SHOULDN'T BE RISKING YOURSELF 
AGAINST THIEVES WHEN YOU HAVE MANGA TO 
WRITE!!!!  DON'T DO THAT AGAIN," the editor 
bellowed via phone.

	"But I had to save my fiancee," Harima said.

	"FIANCEES ARE AS NOTHING COMPARED TO 
THE POWER OF THE FORCE."  Pause.  "I MEAN, THE 
IMPORTANCE OF MANGA."  Pause.  "UNLESS YOU 
HAVE TO RESCUE YOUR ASSISTANT, DON'T RISK 
YOURSELF LIKE THAT."

	"Yes, sir," Harima said, deciding not to argue.

	"GOOD, CARRY ON.  HAPPY NEW YEARS.  
GOODBYE."  Click.

	Harima licked his lips nervously.  Time to pour on the 
speed.

*************

	Eri and Yakumo were out dancing with a fair number 
of people.  ABBA was keeping everyone moving with 
Super Trouper.  

	Mikoto waved to them as she arrived with Hanai and 
Miki and Masahiro; they all started dancing.  Eri's parents 
were dancing too.

	Yakumo made a good dancing partner, Eri had to 
admit.  She could lead or follow, and matched herself 
seamlessly to her partner's motions.  She just wondered 
what people thought of them.

	Which Yakumo probably knew, but she wasn't saying 
anything.

	Eri continued to dance, wishing Harima was here, 
though this was kind of fun.  She grabbed Yakumo, lifted 
her, and spun.  Yakumo's eyes widened slightly, then she 
smiled.

	As she settled Yakumo down, she could see Asou and 
Sara dancing together, smiling brightly at each other.  Eri 
felt another burst of jealousy.  Why can't things be that 
simple for me, she wondered.  Why is my love life such a 
mess?

	Stupid Imadori, stupid parents, stupid Kenji...  She 
fought the urge to get mad; she couldn't afford to lose it at a 
big family party.

	"Would you like us to switch partners with someone?" 
Yakumo asked softly.

	"Tired of dancing with me?" Eri asked irritably.

	"No, but you seem to be," Yakumo said softly.

	"No, I'm fine," Eri said a little stubbornly.  

	They danced quietly for a little while, then Eri said, "If 
there's someone you'd rather..."

	"Sara is busy and Kenji is not here," Yakumo said 
softly as Eri now spun her around.

	Eri pulled Yakumo in to move side by side with her in 
unison.  "Well, we'd best put on a proper show for the 
audience, then."

	Yakumo nodded.

	They stepped things up; Yakumo followed, able to use 
her powers to perfectly adapt herself to Eri's actions.  Soon, 
they were drawing attention with their performance.  
Yakumo smiled a little as she felt Eri relax.  Eri liked to 
show off, it was clear.

	They danced past Mikoto, who grinned at them, and 
Hanai, who looked a little puzzled.  Karen and Lala nodded 
to them as they passed that pair as well; Yakumo wondered 
what exactly Lala thought she was doing with Karen, as it 
looked rather like combat to Yakumo.

	The music changed as the band finished off Super 
Trouper and launched into Take a Chance on Me, speeding 
things up.  Eri picked up the pace, pushing Yakumo to the 
limits of her speed; Yakumo had to struggle to keep up as 
Eri moved into ever fancier manuevers.  But to the 
audience, she looked as smooth as ever, though the martial 
artists could tell.

	Eri finally moved into her final manuever, spinning 
them both around like a double-headed top, to end up with 
her dipping Yakumo low.

	Their faces were close together, and Eri looked very 
excited, and Yakumo suddenly wondered if Eri was going 
to 'accidentally' kiss her again.  She could feel her heart 
pounding, her blood pulsing.  

	Eri held the dip, her lips moving closer to 
Yakumo...closer...

	Yakumo felt her breathing speed up and closed her 
eyes.  

	Then she felt a yank and instead of a kiss, she got 
pulled to her feet and bowed as everyone applauded.  

	She felt a bit embarrassed at this, but bowed and tried 
to resist being overwhelmed by everyone's mind pointing at 
her.  It pushed her to her limits, but she was far enough 
away from most to do it, though she felt weak.

	"I'd better get a drink and sit down," she said softly.

	"I could use one too," Eri said, leading her over to the 
bar.

	It was silly of me to think she'd kiss me, Yakumo 
thought.  She's not a boy any more.  Stay in the present.

***************

	Imadori frowned.  Shouldn't Mother be back by now?  
He staggered out of bed, tried to call her, and got no 
answer.  Had she...no, her phone was dead.

	He sighed.  Probably she's okay, he thought.  But I had 
best go steal some food for us before we all starve.

****************
	
	Mrs. Imadori tried to remind her stomach that 
mothballs were not, in fact, edible.  

	It didn't want to listen.

*************

	Tenma hugged Yakumo.  "How's it going?"

	"Well," Yakumo said.  She was sitting at the bar 
having another drink; Eri had been dragged off by her 
father to dance with him.

	"Good.  Has Eri accidentally kissed you on purpose 
yet?" Tenma asked.

	"..."

	Karasuma turned and stared off blankly across the 
crowd, sniffed the air, then drifted off.

	Tenma said, "Well, has she?"

	"Not yet," Yakumo mumbled.  

	"Well, we'll have to make sure she doesn't forget," 
Tenma said, rubbing her hands together.

	"I...it wouldn't be an accident if you tell her to," 
Yakumo said softly.

	"Good point.  Hmm, what if I shove her at a key 
moment and..."  Tenma looked deep in thought.  This being 
unfamiliar territory, it was like being in the Sahara without 
a map and having to crawl your way out.

	"I think it has to happen by real accident," Yakumo 
said.  "For it to be an accident."

	"Unless it's on purpose for spite.  But we don't want 
spite, we want to ensure you two will have a happy 
marriage," Tenma said thoughtfully.

	Yakumo tried to understand the first sentence and 
failed.  "Nee-chan, I..."

	"Don't worry.  I'll ensure you two get a chance at a 
romantic moment.  I'm sure Eri will be unable to resist you 
once she gets over her usual denials of love," Tenma said.  

	"Nee-chan..."

	"It is resolved.  Operation Sister Love begins!"  
Tenma stormed off.

	Yakumo finished her drink and got another one, 
thinking she'd need it.

**************

	Harima carefully drew a small egg in one corner of the 
panel he was now drawing.  The main image showed the 
hero in class, bored, listening to a boring lecture while he 
gazed at his lady love, trying to figure out how to tell her 
how he felt.  But he wasn't good at that sort of thing.

	The egg, on the other hand, was something he'd heard 
about; fans apparently liked finding 'easter eggs' hidden 
away in stories.  He wasn't clear on why this was the case, 
but it didn't take him too much effort.

	In this case, one of the sorceresses in class, one who 
he still needed a name for, who sat next to the hero, had an 
egg under her chair.  You could only see it if you looked 
VERY carefully.  

	Why it was there, he didn't know, but surely the fans 
would have three thousand theories to explain it within 12 
hours of the comic's release.

	He paused and tapped his cheek with his pen.  A 
name...he had a face for her but not a name.  She was 
modelled on...that girl...who sat next to him in 
class...whose name he didn't know.

	What was her name, anyway?

	As he thought about it, he only really knew who about 
half the class were.  A lot of them blurred as 'that guy with 
the big nose' or 'that girl with bad hair'.  

	But what could he call the girl...the girl with no 
name...

	He got his phone out and called Yakumo.  She might 
have a good idea.  But as the phone rang, he realized she'd 
be busy running her party, so he hung up and thought.  
Tenma is creative.  I'll call her.

	Tenma did answer.  "Hello, Kenji-kun."

	"I need a female name," he said.

	"Yuka," she said.

	"That works," he said.  

	"Is this for your manga?" Tenma asked.

	"Yes," he said.  "You having fun at the party?"

	"Did you like kissing girls when you were a girl?" 
Tenma asked.

	"..."

	"Well?"

	"Uh, why are you asking?" Harima asked.

	"It's very important," Tenma said.

	"Well, kissing Yakumo was nice, yes.  I was still a 
boy in my mind, after all," Harima said.

	Liar, Onna-Harima said to him.

	Be quiet, he told her.

	"What?" Tenma asked.

	"Nothing," he said.  "I'm not talking to voices in my 
head at all."

	"Maybe you'd better get some sleep," Tenma said, 
worried.

	"Can't sleep, drawing," Harima said.

	"Maybe if you draw yourself sleeping, it will help," 
Tenma said.

	Even Harima knew better than that.  "I'll try that," he 
lied.

	"Okay, see you later!" Tenma said and hung up.

	Yuka, Harima thought.  That will work.

***********

	Not too far away, Rinko was having hot chocolate at 
the Blue Lodge with some friends, when she sneezed, 
knocking it all over the unfortunate Ishiyama Hiroaki, who 
was starting to lean over to try to put an arm around her 
shoulder.  

	"Eek!  I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she said.

	Nagayama Toki, seated with Tanaka Kazuya on the 
facing couch, got up.  "I'll go get some paper...oh wait, this 
isn't my house."  She looked slightly lost.  "I mean, I don't 
know where to go to get them here."

	Tanaka laughed softly.  "I'll go find one of the 
employees.  They'll have something, I'm sure."

	Ishiyama flailed frantically, as the hot chocolate had 
landed on his thighs, groin, and stomach.  

	"I'm sorry....wait, what's your name again?" Rinko 
asked.

	Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll just DIE, Ishiyama thought.

*************

	Tenma managed to cut in to steal a dance with Eri.  
"Hi!"

	Eri smiled at her.  "Glad you made it.  I thought you 
might want to get more rest."

	"Well, I hardly remember what I did, but I heard it 
worked," Tenma said, smiling and letting Eri lead her.  "So 
all is well there."

	"So, are you enjoying the party?" Eri asked.  "I'm 
really grateful it's gone well so far.  Even if it's kind of 
futile, since I couldn't marry Yakumo if I wanted to."

	"Oh, that can be dealt with.  When Sara is Pope, she 
can give you a dispensation.  I did research," Tenma said 
proudly.

	By now, Eri really ought to have never been truly 
surprised by Tenma again, and yet it happened anyway.  
"But, she...she's a woman."

	"I wouldn't have expected sexism from you," Tenma 
said, waggling a hairtenna admonishingly.  

	"I'm not being sexist!  Catholics have rules about 
those things!," Eri said.

	"Rules are meant to be broken," Tenma said sagely.

	"..."

	Tenma got spun out by Eri, stumbled, and sent two 
couples nearly tumbling into each other.  Eri QUICKLY 
pulled her back in.  "It will work out," Tenma said.  "Just 
give my sister a chance."

	It wasn't worth fighting over, Eri thought.  You can't 
take on Tenma head-on; it's suicide.  And she was too worn 
out to think of a good side angle.  "We'll see."  It was a 
wonderfully non-committal thing to say; everyone would 
interpret it to suit themselves.

	"Where there is love, a way can be found," Tenma 
said.

	Eri tried another fancy move, then regretted it as she 
and Tenma stumbled into another couple.  Keep it simple, 
she thought.  

	She managed to hold things together long enough to 
trade off again, now ending up with Hanai.  "Oh, hello, 
Hanai-kun."

	He smiled at her.  "Enjoying the party?"

	"Three parties in a row is too many," Eri said.  "But at 
least it's largely been pretty sedate."

	"No more attacks?  That's good," Hanai said.  "There's 
been too much violence at these parties."

	"It's looking like we'll get out of this without too much 
trouble," Eri said.  "Knock on wood."

	"Wood?  Where?" Hanai asked in confusion, looking 
around.

	Eri laughed softly.  "It's just an expression." She 
glanced over at Mikoto dancing with...Imadori?  "..."

	Hanai glanced over.  "Don't worry, I won't go in a 
jealous rage.  Mikoto-chan can beat him up herself."

	Though she wasn't getting violent, oddly enough.  
They seemed to just be dancing.

	Eri frowned a little.  Don't lead that fool on, Mikoto.  
Give him the beating he deserves.  "Thanks for saving me 
from Tenma.  She's in one of her moods."

	"Where she has crazy ideas in her head?" Hanai asked.

	Eri nodded.  "She's a good friend, but definitely 
crazier than I am."

	"Everyone is crazier than me," Hanai said.

	"You and your two girlfriends," Eri said.

	"I don't have two girlfriends!  Just one.  Miki and I are 
just friends," Hanai said firmly.

	The fact that he was sweating made Eri suspect he was 
lying.  "Uh huh."

	Hanai grumbled to himself as the dance went on.  

*************		

	"Shouldn't you be dancing too?" Imadori asked 
Yakumo, who started.  Somehow, she hadn't felt his mind 
at all.

	"I guess I am rested enough now," Yakumo said, 
putting her glass down.  

	"You haven't seen my mother, by any chance?" he 
asked.

	"No, I'm afraid not," Yakumo said.

	He frowned.  "I can't find her anywhere.  She's 
probably just gone driving or something, but I would have 
expected her to say goodbye.  She was trying to find out 
who sicced those weasels on us."

	Hesitantly, Yakumo said, "Kenji-kun can talk to 
animals, maybe he could find out."

	"Yes, but I fear he doesn't care about our agony," 
Imadori said.  "Or may even have set them in place."

	"He'd just punch you," Yakumo said.  "I mean..."

	Imadori laughed.  "I suppose you're right.  It's not his 
style.  I'd think Akira, but she would never have sent Nara-
san into the middle of a weasel trap."  He shook his head.  
"I can't see what they see in each other."

	"Sempai loves Nara-san very much because he is good 
to her and doesn't want other women," Yakumo said.  "And 
he loves her because she is strong and gentle at once."

	Imadori cocked his head and looked at Yakumo 
thoughtfully.  She could feel his mind, just a little, but all 
the thoughts were about Doujibiron, despite him saying 
other things.  It was strange.  

	"Hmm, sempai?" she asked.

	"But she's so flat-chested," Imadori said.

	"So is he," Yakumo said.

	"..."

	"What, sempai?" she asked.

	"But...he..."  Something seemed to hit Imadori.  "MY 
EYES!"  He fled.

	Yakumo decided she should find someone to dance 
with.

	As if drawn by the power of her MIND, Henry 
Sawachika now approached her.  "Would you like to 
dance?" he asked.

	"Yes, please," she said.

	She let him lead, and they danced in silence for a 
while.  His mind was carefully guarded; only business 
related thoughts seemed to leak through.  But she shouldn't 
pry, really, anyway.  

	Finally, he said, "What is your intent towards my 
daughter?"

	"Intent?" Yakumo asked, not sure what he meant.

	"Why have you entered this contest?," he asked.

	Yakumo wasn't entirely sure.  She just...she just had 
to.  "I don't know," she said.

	"..."

	"I just had to do it.  To...to understand," she said as he 
now spun her about.

	He pulled her back in and asked, "To understand 
what?"

	"Everything," she said softly.

	She could feel the confusion coming off him.  His 
defenses were leaking.  "Are you in love with her?"

	"I'm not sure what love is supposed to be like," she 
said honestly.  "But I don't want to see Sempai given away 
like a prize."

	He studied her curiously, then danced with her in 
silence a while longer.  "I understand you got the better of 
Tarakawa-san when renting those pachinko machines."

	"Oh yes, we got a very good deal," Yakumo said, 
feeling relieved to shift onto safer ground.  "So did Akira-
sempai."

	"Are you thinking about a future in business?  There 
aren't many who can get the edge on him, and talent 
shouldn't be wasted," Henry said.

	"I...I don't know," Yakumo said.  "I know I want to go 
to college, but Sara and I are still trying to figure out what 
we want to do."

	"The priestess?" he asked.

	"Yes," Yakumo said.  "I expect we will room together; 
Sara wants to.  I just hope nee-chan will be okay on her 
own."

	"So how would Eri fit into all this?" Henry asked, 
perhaps a little sternly.

	"I...I don't know.  But she'll be going to college, won't 
she?" Yakumo asked.

	"She'll need a business degree to run our family 
businesses," Henry said.  

	"That works, then."

	"You haven't thought about this at all," Henry said 
chidingly.

	"I...," Yakumo began.

	"If you're going to try to woo our daughter, you need a 
plan for the future," Henry said.  "And even if you weren't, 
you still need one beyond simply being someone's 
caretaker."

	Yakumo didn't know what to say.  She'd always...not 
always, but for a long time, she'd taken care of her sister.  
She was used to it.  But she'd never thought much about the 
future.

	The music finished, and he bowed to her.  "We won't 
let our daughter go to anyone who doesn't know where they 
are going," he said.  "So you had best figure it out soon."

	"I..."

	"Good day," he said, and went off to find another 
partner, leaving Yakumo standing there.

***************

	"Maybe she went over to the lodge where some of 
your classmates are staying?" Mrs. Sawachika said to 
Imadori.  "She was trying to figure out who unleashed the 
weasels, which I'd like to know myself."

	He nodded.  "Yeah, I knew that.  I'll have to go check 
there, then."

	"Good luck."

*************

	Suga studied Yakumo as he danced with her, trying to 
figure out if she was depressed, or just quiet as usual.  She 
was so totally unlike her sister that it was hard to tell.  

	Or maybe I suck at dancing and she's trying to be 
polite and not say anything, Suga thought.  He could see 
Asou dancing with Satsuki; Asou was a good leader, while 
Suga knew his skills were not too hot.

	He demonstrated this by trying to turn Yakumo to one 
side, then stumbling into her and stepping on one foot.  
"I'm sorry," he said.

	"I...what?" she said, looking confused.

	She's out of it, he thought.  "Hey, are you okay?  Are 
you overheating in that?"

	"I'm sorry, I was thinking," Yakumo said.

	"Would you rather sit down?" he asked.

	"No, no, I'm fine," she said.  

	She continued to dance, but he could tell she was 
focused on the inside of her head, which was kind of 
depressing.  Especially when his girlfriend was dancing 
with Asou quite fluidly and they both seemed to be 
enjoying themselves, which reminded him she had 
originally been after Asou.

	He wondered how much she actually liked him and 
how much it was a way to get close to Asou.  Though she 
was willing to sleep with him.  Even if that usually led to 
disaster.

	He tried to shake off his own gloom.  But now he was 
starting to feel like he and Yakumo were some sort of 
gloom vortex, slowly growing to envelop all around them, 
sucking them into a pit of death and destruction and...stuff.  

	Suga was really not cut out to be emo.

	The music, ended, and he said, "Want to get a drink?"

	She didn't answer, so he guided her over to the bar, 
where she began to mechanically drink lemonade.  He got 
himself a coke and spent some time brooding, then decided 
brooding was boring, yet he was still depressed.  How does 
Asou do it, he wondered.

	"Do what, sempai?" Yakumo asked.

	"I...nothing.  Are you okay?"  Suga gulped his coke 
and got another.  Always exploit free drink bars, that was 
his motto.

	"Sempai, are you and Asou going to go to college 
together?"

	"..."  The hell kind of question is that, Suga wondered.  
And then it hit him.  Maybe I shouldn't have made all those 
jokes about us being lovers, he thought.  I never thought 
anyone would take them seriously.  Although...  "I expect 
so," he said.  "We should both be able to get basketball 
scholarships, I think."

	"Do you know which school yet?" Yakumo asked.

	"Not yet.  I suppose we should start thinking about 
that in more detail," Suga said, watching people dance.  
"You thinking about your future?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Well, you don't have to really decide until after your 
second year, as you'll need to spend year three getting 
ready for exams.  And then it's easy street once you get in," 
Suga said.

	"It is?" Yakumo asked.

	"What I hear, college is a breeze.  If you don't have to 
work to pay for it.  Which I fear I will, unless I get the 
sports scholarship.  But I'm sure Asou and I will," Suga 
said.  

	Yakumo cocked her head slightly.  "I'm not sure at all 
what I want to do."

	"Well, you still have time," he said.  "You're not even 
a second year yet, let alone a senior.  Don't rush it; just 
spend some time seeing what you like.  I'm sure you'll do 
well, whatever you do."

	"Really?" Yakumo asked.

	"You've got it together most than most people, from 
what I can see.  And if you win the contest, you can just let 
Eri be your sugar-momma."  He winked to indicate he was 
joking, but she didn't laugh.

	"Thank you, sempai," she said, sounding a little better.

	Then Tenma came up to Suga.  "You should be 
dancing!  You too, Yakumo!"  She grabbed Suga, dragging 
him away.

	Easier said than done, really.  	

	The necessity of looking for a dancing partner was 
spared her, however, when Fuyuki came up to her.  She 
could see Sagano sort of dancing with Yuuki off in the 
distance and sort of trampling Yuuki.  "Would you like to 
dance, Tsukamoto-san?" he asked.

	"Sure," she said, and let him lead her out onto the 
floor, still mostly wrapped in her own thoughts.

*****************

	"Yo, Harima, you seen my mom?", Imadori asked 
Harima.

	"Yeah, I've seen her."

	"Do you know where she is?" Imadori asked.

	"Shouldn't she be back in Tokyo?," Harima asked, 
turning around in his chair.  

	"I thought you said you'd seen her!" Imadori said, 
confused.

	"Yeah, I saw her that time you idiots got me and Akira 
beat up in your stead," Harima said, frowning.

	"..."

	"Wait...you mean she's around this lodge?" Harima 
asked.

	"Yeah, I think so," Imadori said.

	"Not my problem," Harima said, turning back to his 
manga.

	"Won't you help a classmate find his mother?" Imadori 
asked piteously.

	"Hell no when it's you," Harima said, starting to draw 
again, now drawing the hero punching out the perverted 
sorceror of the class.

	"But Mikoto...," Imadori began.

	"Since when was I Mikoto?  Get out of here, you 
fool," Harima said.  

	Imadori grumped off down the hallway, grumbling to 
himself.

	As he passed Akira's room, he heard a thumping noise 
in a nearby closet.  He blinked and tried to open it, then 
saw it was nailed shut.  "Mom, did you nail yourself into a 
closet again?" he asked.

	"THAT WASN'T ME DRIVING THE NAILS!," she 
shouted through the door.

	Akira stuck her head out of her room.  "Keep it down, 
people are sleeping."

	"I think my mother being locked in a closet is reason 
enough for some loudness," Imadori said.

	"Just keep it down, as if you wake up Kentaro, I will 
make you regret it," Akira said, then shut the door.

	Imadori grumbled, then said to his mother, "I'll try and 
find a claw hammer to get you out, okay?  Can you finally 
get your battery charged while you're waiting?"

	"Kind of hard to do that inside a closet," his mother 
grumbled.

	"I'll be right back," he said, and began hunting for a 
hammer.

**************

	Masahiro was about to get a drink, when he noticed 
Yakumo lurking nearby.  "Hello, Tsukamoto-san.  The 
party is very nice, though the trench smells awful."

	Yakumo said, "I was afraid of that."  She stood quietly 
for a moment, then said, "Would you dance with me?"

	"Sure," he said, and took her out onto the dance floor.  
He could see Miki off dancing with some guy in a business 
suit, and felt a moment of jealousy, which he told himself 
was ridiculous.  She wasn't as crazy as Jenny, after all.

	They danced quietly for a while, then Yakumo asked, 
"Is college as easy as they say?"

	"..."  He stared at her, but then laughed.  "It's not as 
easy as they say, but it is pretty relaxed by comparison.  I'm 
working on a chemistry degree, and Miki is doing a 
business degree."

	Yakumo glanced off at her.  "Do you get to see your 
old high school friends much?"

	"Just a few of them.  We scattered all over.  But you'll 
make new friends, I'm sure," Masahiro said to her as they 
danced.  "Worried about the future?"

	"Just thinking about it," Yakumo said as Masahiro 
tried to spin her out, but fumbled it a bit and they nearly 
bounced into another couple.  

	He pulled her back in and stuck to simpler moves.  
"Every so often, you have to move on, leave the old behind, 
and enter a new stage of life.  You lose some and you gain 
some," he said.  "It's just part of life."

	That didn't seem to settle her worries, but he didn't 
know what else to say.  "I'm sure you'll do fine, though.  
From what I've heard, you're very intelligent and hard-
working."

	"Thank you, sempai," Yakumo said.  She sounded a 
little better now, if only a little.

	They danced on until the music ended.  	

*************

	Mai had had more than enough research for one day.  
She and Ami exchanged notes, then she headed out of the 
library with Tougo.  "Well, we now have a huge pile of 
inconsistent legends and claims to sort through, none of 
which may be accurate, given the evidence that the Tiki 
Gods were made up by some clubowner."  She frowned.

	"He may have been an unwitting oracle," Tougo said.  
"Or possibly he somehow changed history with 
unconscious god-like powers."

	"Oh right, people who changed history with god-like 
powers.  That's your excuse for everything," Mai said.  "As 
if.  There's no such thing."

***************

	Distantly, Suzumiya Haruhi accidentally snarfed her 
eggnog up her nose, causing her to fall over in a completely 
uncool manner with her family watching.

	Stupid eggnog, she thought.  I wish I never had to 
drink it again.

	That night, all the eggnog in Japan quietly vanished, 
without anyone noticing or remembering it.  

	Now you know why it's not a common part of 
Japanese New Years' celebrations.

	And knowing is half the battle.

*************

	"There could be," Tougo said, outside the area of 
effect.  "How would you know?"

	"Exactly.  So it's a useless hypothesis," Mai said.  

	"Unless...," Tougo said thoughtfully.

	Mai felt a sudden chill up her spine, as if Tougo was 
about to say something which might cause the universe to 
get a HORRIBLE idea.

	"No, no, the world would be much weirder.  It would 
explain the costume...but no," Tougo said.

	"Please tell me you are not suspecting Sagano of 
having reality shaping powers," Mai said.

	"Only a tiny bit," Tougo said.  "Probably it's just a 
coincidence.  You had the powers and the costume gave 
you the confidence to awaken them."

	"If Sagano could alter reality...no, not even going to 
say it, too dangerous," Mai said.  "Let's work from the 
assumption that reality is NOT being rewritten by some 
god-like force which is messing with things for whatever 
reason."

	"Hmm, I think I'll go with the master of hidden lore 
finds Tiki culture, then pretends he made it up, then," 
Tougo said.

	"That's reasonable.  Anyway, you're taking me out 
tonight," she said.

	"I am?" he asked.

	"Yes," she said.  "I've been working hard and you get 
to treat me."

	"Okay, princess," he said.  "But, of course, when I 
treat, I get to pick tonight's costume."

	"It's kind of risky with the parents in the house," Mai 
said a little nervously.

	"Risk is the spice of life, my dear Princess 
Condiment," he said, kissing her cheek.  "But everything 
has its price."

	Well, she would just have to make sure the food was 
worth it.  Steak time.

**************

	Mikoto yanked the door open.  "There you go," she 
said to Imadori.

	"Thank you very much," he said, helping his mom out.

	"How did you get nailed in there?" Mikoto asked.

	"I don't know," she said.

	"I expect Takano-san did it," Imadori said, frowning.

	Surprising him, she didn't pop her head out to confirm 
or deny.

	"Well, let's go back to the party," Mikoto said.  "I'm 
pretty sure no one here had anything to do with those 
weasels."

	"Well, I know you're innocent," Imadori said to her.  
"No girl with the power of D would resort to rabid 
weasels."

	"One should never be so sure," Mrs. Imadori said.  
"But let's go.  And Suou-san, thank you.  I owe you one."

	"It's nothing," Mikoto said.  "Let's go."

*************	

	Eri asked herself why she'd gotten stuck dancing with 
the giant editor thing.  Or whatever he was.  He'd already 
danced with Yakumo and nearly killed half the guests, and 
now it was her turn.  Her parents had insisted, making her 
wonder if they secretly wished to cull the guest list.

	He was a strong leader, at least; she found it easy to 
follow his lead.  "AHH, I RECOGNIZE YOU," he said 
after a little bit.

	She looked confused.  "What?"

	"THE PRINCESS," he said.

	"What?"  she was more confused now as he took her 
around one turn, people fleeing before them, swept along 
after them in their wake.

	He just smiled at her; she found this one of the most 
frightening things she had ever seen, frightening enough 
that she didn't even remember the rest of the dance, just 
somehow found herself dancing with Yakumo instead.

	"Sempai?" Yakumo asked softly.

	ABBA had finished, and things were winding down; 
Suga was up on the stage with Satsuki, playing DJ for the 
group.

	"He...laughing..."  Eri pulled herself together.  "Well, 
it seems like this party has gone pretty smoothly."

	"I'm glad," Yakumo said.  "I don't like violence."

	"Me neither," Eri said.  "I could do with some peace 
and quiet."

	They danced together quietly for a while, until Eri's 
mother flagged them over.

	"It's getting late, and it looks like we will be disaster-
free," Eri's mother said.  "Unless you two suddenly attack 
each other, anyway."

	"I'm not going to humiliate the family like that," Eri 
said, irritated by the accusation.

	"I don't attack people," Yakumo said.

	"So you should get up on stage and lead everyone in a 
last dance," Ami Sawachika said.  "Then Yakumo can help 
you get out of that."

	Eri nodded.  "Alright, mother."  Compared to what she 
had expected, that was pretty mild.

	Imadori now approached with his mother.  "Don't I get 
the last dance?"

	"No, this is not your party," Ami Sawachika said.  
"But you can dance with me."

	Eri took Yakumo by the arm; time to get away from 
Imadori.  "Let's go."

****************

	Harima could feel the earth shake, and he wondered 
why.  He tried to ignore it, but it was messing up his 
drawing.  So he went to the window and opened it.  There 
was a giant eye staring in at him, a giant burning eye that 
transfixed him.  All he could do was to babble at it.

	It studied him, the pen in his hand, and then down at 
the manga he'd been drawing next to the window.  There 
was a great grunt, and then the eye turned away.

	As the fear left him, Harima fainted.

	The editor walked away, satisfied that Harima was 
doing his work.

*************
	
	The beat was intense, and Eri was able to lose herself 
in the music, to pretend she was just dancing with Kenji.  A 
less foot-stepping version of Kenji.  She spun and twirled 
and lifted Yakumo through an elaborate series of moves to 
growing applause which made her feel good, though she 
also felt a little light headed.

	Yakumo seemed to smile a little as they danced, 
following Eri's lead flawlessly.  She made an excellent 
dancing partner.

	Despite herself, Eri could feel herself getting excited.  
Everyone was watching, and her big show was going 
perfectly, and people liked it.  Eri could be a little vain, and 
this sort of thing fed it.  

	Finally, she pulled Yakumo into a low dip, and the 
applause went wild.  She could see Yakumo staring at her 
intently, though no one else could see from the way they 
were standing.  Then Yakumo closed her eyes, and did 
something weird looking with her lips, even as Eri's head 
dipped closer to hers.

	Their lips were about to meet when Eri realized what 
she was doing when her boy-self shouted to her, "GO FOR 
IT!"

	Eri's breath caught and she felt her head swim, and 
then she quickly pulled Yakumo up into a bowing pose.  
The crowd cheered wildly, while Eri felt like her heart was 
going to just pound its way out of her chest.

	Yakumo smiled for the crowd, as did Eri.  Eri knew 
her own smile was a fake to hide panic and wished she 
knew what went on behind Yakumo's eyes and lips.  For 
that matter, she wished she understood what was going on 
inside her own head.

	But for now, the smile.

*************

	Ishiyama woke up on a bed.  "Where am I?"

	"You somehow managed to flip over the back of the 
couch, shouting your name, then knocked yourself out," 
Tanaka said to him.  "This is my room; the girls are in their 
room, getting ready for bed."

	"Dammit," Ishiyama moaned.  "She can't even 
remember my name," he said despairingly.

	"Yeah, it's not hard to remember...uh...wait...I know 
this..." Tanaka said, grinning.

	"Dammit!"  Ishiyama tackled Tanaka and wrestled 
him down.

	"Joking!  I know your name, Ishiyama Hiroaki.  I've 
known you since third grade, after all," Tanaka said.

	"Why can't anyone remember my damn name???" 
Ishiyama asked.  

	"Well, it's mainly girls who forget," Tanaka pointed 
out.

	"Thank you for nothing," Ishiyama grumbled.

	"Look, I asked Nagayama-san to butter her up for 
you," Tanaka said.  "Just stay here the rest of vacation and 
you'll have more chances."

	"Maybe I should ask her to whisper my name into 
Rinko's ear all night,"  Ishiyama mumbled.

	"You know that kind of thing never works right.  
She'd dream of vampires or something and wake up 
convinced you were one," Tanaka said.

	"There has to be something," Ishiyama said.

	"Well, if your big nose can't remind people of your 
name...," Tanaka began.

	He didn't finish before Ishiyama tackled him again.  It 
was time to beat each other unconscious for no good 
reason, a long male tradition in every nation. 

***************

	Eri tried to figure out why she felt so nervous as 
Yakumo was peeling the layers of clothing off her.  It's not 
like she was going to leave me naked with no clothing at 
all, she thought.  And lots of women had seen her naked, so 
there was no reason to be jumpy.  And Yakumo wasn't 
really the type to do something like pour itching powder...

	Then she thought about the various disasters with 
them siccing things on each other to avoid the other 
sleeping alone with Kenji back in the other world.  This 
made her more nervous.

	Yakumo's utter quiet didn't help, either.  So silent.  
She could be planning anything...anything at all.  Like 
taking naked pictures and...

	No, surely Yakumo wouldn't want to do that.  She 
wasn't a pervert.  I was the one who nearly kiss...no!

	Even if she did kiss me when she was a boy and it 
wasn't an accident and did that mean...

	No, no.  Eri shook her head.

	"What's wrong, sempai?" Yakumo asked quietly.

	"I'm not worrying about...anything," she said, catching 
herself in time.

	"Are you going to college, sempai?" Yakumo asked 
softly.

	As Yakumo's fingers nimbly undid a set of ties, Eri 
felt her clothing loosen.  Her nerves jangled lightly.  "Yes.  
I expect I'll have to get a business degree."

	"To manage your family business," Yakumo said.

	"Yes," she said, wondering what she would do if she 
was free to choose anything at all.  She wasn't sure; it had 
seemed always like her path in life, so much of it was 
already chosen for her.  "And you?"

	"I don't know, sempai," Yakumo said, peeling off 
another layer, then pulling a skirt off.  "Just that Sara and I 
want to go to college together."

	Eri felt a little depressed thinking about it.  She didn't 
want to be separated from her friends here, and what about 
Kenji?  If he went to art school, would they be able to see 
each other?  Would she even be allowed to...she just 
wanted...DAMN CONTEST.  Why had all this stupid stuff 
gotten in the way of her having a normal high school 
romance?

	 "I'm not hurting you, am I, sempai?" Yakumo asked.

	"No," Eri said, starting to feel crabby.  "Just cursing 
my damn luck."

	Yakumo sucked in her breath, and Eri said, "Don't tell 
me you never curse."

	"I don't curse," Yakumo said, now peeling off the last 
layer, leaving Eri in only her underwear.  

	"God, you're so perfect, you make me sick.  Are you 
real?" Eri asked angrily.

	Yakumo shrank back a moment, then rocked forward 
again.  "I never said I was."  Her voice was very calm.

	"Can't you at least get mad at me when I yell at you?" 
Eri yelled at her.  

	"I don't like getting mad," Yakumo said stiffly.

	Part of Eri wanted to see how far she could push 
Yakumo to try to make her finally explode.  And part of her 
was afraid of the possible results, given Yakumo's powers.  
"Just get out of here.  I'm undressed now.  Go back to the 
other lodge and be all little Ms. Perfect where I don't have 
to see you."  

	Yakumo nodded silently and left; once she was gone, 
Eri slammed the door, then went to her bed and cried 
herself to sleep in frustration.   

************

	"Do they still give you guys homework over the 
break?" Miki asked.

	A large clump of the residents in her lodge were 
walking back to it together.  

	"Yes, but I already did mine," Hanai said.

	"I still have to do mine," Mikoto grumbled.

	"Well, we can help you," Miki said.  "Right, 
Masahiro-kun?"

	"It'll be just like the old days," he said, smiling.

	"American schools don't give you homework over 
vacation," Jenny said.  "Much better that way."

	"I hear you guys don't have to clean the place yourself 
either," Mikoto said.

	"Damn right.  That's what custodians are for," Jenny 
said.

	"It builds character," Hanai said.

	"The character of being a garbageman, maybe," Jenny 
said.  "Unless you're just going to school to be a custodian 
one day, there's no point in making already overburdened 
students spend time on cleaning the place."

	"It encourages people to not trash it," Hanai said.

	"We don't just set our schools on fire for fun, you 
know," Jenny said.  "And who is going to do a better job?  
A student forced to clean for no pay or a person being paid 
who will be fired if they do badly?"

	"The student forced to clean for no pay, from what I've 
seen of some janitors," Shinichi said, laughing.

	"Back me up," Hanai said to Mikoto.

	"Sorry, honey, you're on your own.  I don't like 
cleaning the school; it wastes my time," Mikoto said.  "I 
think we have better coaches in Japan, though."

	"I can't judge, but I can say your physical education 
classes are definitely less pathetic than ours were in high 
school," Jenny said.  "The coaches back home only cared 
about the athletic teams."  

	"You're in good shape," Hanai said.

	"I wish I could say that was normal," Jenny grumbled.

	Then they came upon the giant footprints in the snow.  
"Bigfoot?" Jenny asked in surprise.

	"Looks like that late guest," Hanai said.  "He looks 
like he's wandering off into the wilderness."  Hanai 
frowned.

	"How'd he miss going to the parking lot?" Keiichi 
asked, scratching his head.

	"Mikoto, we should go track him down before he 
freezes to death or something," Hanai said.

	Mikoto looked out into the cold night, grimaced, but 
said, "Okay."

	"Maybe we should all go," Jenny said.  "It can be 
dangerous on your own at night."

	"We should be fine," Hanai said.  "But we'll call if 
there's trouble."

	Miki said, "You sure?"

	"We'll be fine," Hanai said.  

	Miki looked at Mikoto, who gave her the 'can't always 
override the boyfriend' shrug.  "Okay," she said.  "See you 
later, then."

	And then they split up.

*************

	Sara was in the process of putting on her pajamas 
when she heard an odd thump on the door.  She looked 
over at Satsuki.  "Did you hear that?"

	"It sounded like a single knock, really hard, and then 
they just stopped," Satsuki said, pulling on her pajama 
bottoms.  She began quickly buttoning her top.  "Gimme a 
second and I'll answer it."

	Sara began quickly dressing as well.  "Hold on, be 
right there!" she shouted.

	No one replied, making her wonder if someone had 
started to knock, then realized they were at the wrong 
room.

	Satsuki opened the door and Yakumo fell on her.  
Satsuki yelped and fell down in confusion.  This didn't 
wake up Yakumo.

	Sara came over and gently picked her up.  "Are you 
okay?" she asked softly.

	Yakumo was too busy sleeping to answer.

	She shook her head and gently carried Yakumo over 
to her bed.  "You don't mind if she stays, do you?"

	"You...uh...sure," Satsuki said, seeming to resolve 
something in her head.  

	"Okay," Sara said, carefully laying Yakumo down on 
her bed and taking off Yakumo's shoes and hat.  Not an 
ideal sleeping outfit, but probably Yakumo would wake up 
in an hour or two anyway.  

	She clambered into bed next to her; it was a tight fit, 
then quickly drifted off to sleep.

************

	Mikoto looked around nervously; this forest got pretty 
creepy at night.

	As if sensing her nervousness, Hanai put an arm 
around her, and she relaxed a little.  "Was it just me, or did 
it look like...I probably imagined it," Mikoto said.

	"We're in no place to gossip about anyone," Hanai 
said.  "Though it strikes me that Eri could probably use 
someone to talk to.  Who is sane."

	Mikoto felt a little embarrassed, but said, "You're 
right.  I just don't understand what's going on with those 
three."

	"It's their problem," Hanai said.  "I expect I would just 
make a mess if I stuck my nose into it.  But I'm sure 
Sawachika-san wants someone to talk to, and well, Takano-
san doesn't strike me as a good emotional counsellor like 
you."  

	Mikoto felt flattered and smiled.  "Thank you."

	"You're welcome," he said.  

	They walked quietly a little while, then he looked 
around, frowning.  "Depending on if he ever stops, we 
could end up out here a very long time.  I just wish I knew 
this area well enough to..."

	There was a distant sound of voices up the slope.  As 
they got closer, it sounded like a card game, and now they 
could see flickering lights from a cave further up.

	"Why are people playing cards in a cave in the middle 
of the mountains in January?" Mikoto asked in confusion.

	"Let's creep up and look.  Maybe he's meeting with 
some friends," Hanai whispered.

	They crept up and peered into the huge cave; the 
editor was here, with three similarly large humanoids; they, 
however were rather furry and also wrapped in furs.  They 
were all playing cards around a fire and snacking on 
something which had been roasted.

	"Yeti???," Mikoto asked, boggling.

	"I wish I'd brought a camera," Hanai whispered.  
"There are people who would go crazy to see this."

	Distantly, one of them sneezed again, but this time 
failed to wish anything out of existence, just blaming dust 
in the air.

	"Mission accomplished," Mikoto whispered.  "I would 
guess he knows his business."

	Hanai watched him bid high on a pair of fours.  "Some 
of his business, anyway."


*************

	Tae leaned on the railing, looking out at the sea from 
the balcony.  It was cold, especially given she was just 
wearing a silk nightie with a bathrobe around it and 
slippers.  But she couldn't quite sleep.  Everyone else was.  
Yurippe and Tanisa looked so cute cuddled up to each 
other.  So natural.

	She smiled sadly and wondered if she was just in their 
way.  She loved them both, and they loved her, but...could 
it work?  Or was she about to have her heart shattered twice 
over?  It wasn't easy to...love is so dangerous, she thought.

	She'd thought love could last forever, but now she 
knew better.  And yet...here she was getting up on the pony 
again.  Two ponies.  Could they all move together?  Could 
it last?  She wished she could get her naivete back.  

	Those two...this was their second chance.  But there 
was no second chance for her.  Not with the man she had 
loved. 

	She wondered where he was now, what he was doing.  
Was he happy with his lady, the realtor?  Did they still live 
in that disastrous hell-hole?  Shouldn't a realtor be able to 
afford something better than that?  She'd hoped to take him 
away from all that.  

	But he was probably still as gentle as ever and as 
under the thumb of that harridan as ever.  Tae grimaced.  
What did he see in that woman?  Why did he love her so 
much?  She would have...she could have...

	He'd inspired her, made her feel she had wings.  She 
had changed herself so much, even sought ought a way to 
be able to work where he would work, so they could be 
together even there and now...

	She tried to rest her head on the railing, but she was 
too tall now; it had been years since she could comfortably 
do that.  All it did was to nearly topple her over the edge.

	But she'd followed that dream, even without him.  In 
part, she didn't know what else to do.  But now...

	No, Yurippe was completely different than the old 
widow.  She didn't treat Tanisa badly; she was so kind and 
gentle, and she made Tae want to protect her desperately.  
They both needed her strength, but Yurippe most of all.  
Yurippe was everything Tae sometimes felt she was only 
pretending to be.  

	And Tanisa, gentle, but with a hidden strength.  She 
always got a thrill when it came out.  He could be strong 
with her and gentle with Yurippe, and it made her smile.  
She liked the combination of strength and gentleness.  It 
was why she liked Kenji-san so much.

	He was a good boy; he'd proved that to her by holding 
to his true love when she'd tried to tempt him.  She admired 
that in him.

	But now...

	Well, she couldn't condemn him without condemning 
herself.  And she didn't want to do either.  If her love for 
both of them could be real, so could his.  But was her love 
real?  Or was she just desperate for someone to hold?

	No, it is real, she told herself.  We have a love forged 
in battle, and we will find a way, even if I have to hide it 
for now.  Which she hated, as she feared...masks become 
reality.  And she couldn't bear that.  Not to lose again.

	There was something...she felt something.  From 
inside the house.  Coming.  Battle aura?

	She slid along the railing silently until she came to the 
part her father had been saying he would repair since 
roughly the middle ages.  It came loose with just a little 
wiggling, as she expected.  It then slid up her sleeve, and 
she hoped she was still good enough to keep anyone seeing 
it.

	The door opened and Yuri slid silently out onto the 
balcony in slippers.  She wore sturdy yellow cotton 
pajamas with blue flowers, with a bathrobe thrown on over 
it.  "It's me, Yuri," she said softly, her face calm.  "You 
don't need the railing rod."

	"..."

	"You do realize an intruder would wonder why a 
chunk of the railing was missing, right?," Yuri said softly, 
drawing closer.  

	"..."

	She was within melee range now, reaching for Tae and 
taking her hands.  Tae almost dropped the rod, then caught 
it.  Yuri took it and laid it aside.  

	"I could feel you trying to appoint yourself Queen of 
Emo all the way from the bedroom," Yuri said softly.

	"I...you could?", Tae asked in surprise.

	"Can't you feel us?" Yuri asked softly.

	Tae cocked her head, clearing her mind of thoughts 
about herself.  She could feel...she could feel Yuri, full of 
concern for her, feel Tanisa...he was lurking just inside, 
hiding behind the curtain.  She was surprised he'd had Yuri 
take the lead.  

	"I do," Tae said softly.

	"Do you need an angelic choir to come down and say 
we love you?" Yuri asked softly.

	Tae felt embarrassed.  "No, I just...the night 
sometimes, you know..."  She suddenly felt like a child 
again, before she'd gone so hard...

	"I know," Yuri said softly, pulling Tae down and 
going up on her toes to kiss Tae softly on the lips.  She held 
for a long moment, then said, "Come to bed," she said 
softly.  "I want to hold you until the sun comes up."

	Tae felt herself trembling.  "It all..you both...," she 
stammered.  She didn't want to break down and cry.  Not 
now.  She was supposed to be the brave one, not Yurippe.  
She felt so scared, and Yurippe felt so strong and...

	Yurippe kissed her again, embracing her tightly.  
"Don't be afraid.  We won't abandon you."

	Tae began to cry on Yurippe's shoulder, and then, 
somehow, Tanisa had come out and joined them and they 
stood in the cold night air embracing in a circle, and Tae 
wished that it would never end.

	They took her inside, back to their bedroom, and she 
slid off to sleep with their warmth around her, and for a 
little while, she could believe again in eternity.

	Until being woken the next morning by her neice 
jumping on them all, over and over, anyway.  

*************

	Eri sat in class, feeling frustrated and utterly bored by 
Aino-sensei yammering on about math or chemistry 
or...something.  Something BORING.

	She was about to fall asleep when she noticed Rinko 
staring at her, though Rinko turned her head away as 
quickly as possible once she saw Eri looking.

	Eri began looking around; everyone was staring at her 
and whispering and passing notes, then trying to play 
innocent once she looked at them.

	Well, almost everyone.  Mikoto and Hanai were busy 
making out on Mikoto's desk.  Akira was busy doing the 
same with Nara.  Tenma was in a samurai outfit, carving 
her desk into chunks for no clear reason.  Nice sword, 
though.

	And Harima...was naked.  And mostly asleep, as he 
seemed to be drooling onto his notebook.  There was a little 
sketch in his notebook of him kissing Eri, which Eri found 
simultaneously embarrassing and romantic.  

	Eri reached over to shove him awake, but then she 
noticed her arm was oddly bare.  A quick check revealed 
she had no shirt on.  Or skirt.  Or underwear.  Or anything, 
unless you counted that Yakumo was curled up asleep on 
her lap like a cat somehow.

	Eri screamed so hard that Hanai and Mikoto fell off 
their desk and passed out.

	Eri then woke up, quickly checking herself.  Fully 
clothed, thankfully.

	She laid in bed shivering, torn between wishing she 
understood the dream and wishing she'd never had it.

	The door flew open and her mother ran in.  She could 
hear stumbling, which clearly indicated her father had tried 
to run in and smacked into a wall instead.  It had been a 
while since the last time that happened.  "Dear, are you 
okay?" her mother asked, worried.

	"No," Eri said, then began to cry.  

	Her mother sighed and came over and held her as she 
cried, until finally, she sank back into sleep.

************

	Harima groggily peeled himself off the floor.  He 
could see the clock flashing 3 AM.  Looking over, he saw 
Yakumo was already here, in her pajamas, asleep.  He 
sighed and began stripping down to get into his own 
pajamas, only to feel the ground shake.  

	Oh shit, it's the eye monster again!  

	He tried to run, but it seemed like he was mired in 
molasses.  With every step, he went only half as far as 
before, slower, slower... slower........ slower................... 
slower...

	Then the giant hand came through the wall, grabbing 
him, as Yakumo slept blissfully.  "Help, someone!" he 
shouted.

	The hand grabbed him.  No one came.  Even Yakumo 
slept through it; he'd learned she would sleep through 
almost anything.  

	Why am I calling for help, he thought.  I'm the type 
who rescues myself, dammit!  I'm not some damsel in 
distress!  He began whaling away, but the huge creature 
didn't even feel it.

	It was his editor.  "MANGA-KA WHO SLEEP 
INSTEAD OF DRAWING ARE WEAK AND MUST 
PERISH!"  

	Now the giant hand dragged him towards the editor's 
immense maw.  Soon he would be bitten in half.

	But Harima was determined to go down fighting.  He 
threw everything he had into pummeling the editor.

	All it did was anger the editor more, and now the teeth 
closed in, chewing through his clothing, about to rend him 
in half, to...

	And then there was the revving of an engine and the 
sound of a motorcycle crashing into someone's face.  The 
editor howled, spitting Harima out.

	Harima flew through the air in time to see his 
motorcycle exploding in the editor's face and some blond 
person crashing to the ground away from it.  Haruka?

	Then he realized he'd landed in someone's arms.  "Are 
you okay, Kenjiko?" the person asked him.  It sounded like 
Yakumo.

	"My name is Kenji," he said, noticing his voice 
sounded oddly high pitched.

	He had a sudden terrible feeling.  And now Haruka 
had peeled himself out of the snowbank and was heading 
towards the two of them.

	With a feeling of knowing what comes next, Harima 
looked at who was carrying him.  It was indeed Yakumo, 
who was thankfully still female.  However, looking down 
at himself, he was definitely a woman, which made no 
sense at all and wasn't what he wanted and he'd never fully 
realized how good looking Haruka was before.  No wonder 
he'd always gotten all the girls.

	"Uh, thanks," Onna-Harima mumbled.

	"Anything for you, baby," Haruka said, coming closer.  
Onna-Harima knew the look on that face.  He was going to 
steal a kiss.  But there was something...not quite right...

	Hesitantly, Onna-Harima reached out to Haruka's face 
and pulled; the mask came off, revealing Otoko-Eri instead.  
Also coming in for a kiss.

	She might have let him have one, except now 
Yakumo's grasp on her tightened and Onna-Harima could 
hardly breathe.  "Air...air...," she mumbled.

	Finally, she passed out from it.  

***************

	Yakumo sat in Sara's lap near the edge of a cliff.  
Narrow paths led down a long distance to a great grassy 
field which stretched to the horizon.  Two armies fought a 
mighty battle below, but from here, you couldn't tell why or 
who was winning.  

	"I love you," Sara said softly, hugging Yakumo 
tightly.

	"Can't we just stay here forever?" Yakumo asked 
softly. 

	"No," Sara said softly.  "We must take the adventure 
that God sets before us.  You can stop to rest in this 
journey, but you can't stop moving forever, if you want to 
live."

	"But I don't know where I'm going," Yakumo said 
softly.  "Or what I'll become."  She could see her reflection 
in a pool below, on a ledge down the cliff.  It was her face, 
but there was a dragon's head behind it, just for a moment, 
and then it was gone, but for that moment, her face had an 
oddly draconic cast to it.  

	"I will walk with you, as long as I am able," Sara said 
softly.  "We all will."

	"Thank you," Yakumo said, holding her tightly.  "I 
just...I don't want to hurt you.  Or anyone."

	"If that was true, you wouldn't have to say that," Sara 
said softly.

	Yakumo's eyes widened.  

	"But getting angry sometimes doesn't make you a 
monster," Sara said.

	"I'm not like normal people," Yakumo said softly.

	"You're my dear, wonderful Yakumo," Sara said.  
"And I'm not normal either.  None of us here are.  I get 
angry too, sometimes.  And then I can be very bad."  She 
looked guilty staring off down the slope.

	"You're not bad," Yakumo said firmly.  "You're holy 
and pure and..."

	"I wish," Sara said softly, stroking Yakumo's hair.  
"But even those God loved most certainly weren't perfect.  
And he doesn't expect you to be."

	"I have to be; I used to be so terrible," Yakumo said, 
shaking.  "I don't want to be like that anymore."

	"You can't just live for others," Sara said softly.  "It's 
okay to want things for yourself too."

	"I don't know what I want, where I want to go.  I just 
know...that I don't want to lose you or Kenji or onee-chan 
or..."  Her voice trailed off.  "I need you."

	"I need you too," Sara said softly.  "Don't worry, I 
won't leave you for Asou.  But he is going to be part of our 
lives now."

	"He's okay, but I don't know him well," Yakumo said 
softly, staring off at the battle again.

	"You will in time," Sara said.  "He's like you in some 
ways; he doesn't open up easily and he tries so hard to be 
perfect, and worries if he doesn't measure up."  She teased 
Yakumo's cheek with a lock of Yakumo's own hair.  "You 
should rest.  You've been partying all night."

	Yakumo clonked over, falling asleep in Sara's arms.

************

	Mai sat in class, waiting for Yuuki to arrive and open 
things up.  She felt just a touch jealous.  But at least Yuuki 
didn't have supernatural powers.

	No, wait, Yuuki did.  And got them before Mai.  And 
got to be president despite running off to another world.

	Mai began contemplating how she could best make 
Yuuki's lunch explode, then told herself not to be petty.  

	She could make Imadori's lunch explode, catching 
Yuuki in the blast.  

	She knuckled her forehead.  No evil thoughts, she told 
herself.  I have to keep my magical girl purity.

	"Too late for that," Luna said, sticking her head out of 
Mai's bag.  "Fortunately for you, your power doesn't 
require you to be a virgin."

	Mai whispered, "Don't talk to me in class!"  I need my 
own advisor, she thought.

	"Hmm, I can lurk in the bag and just phone you..."  
Luna sank in, then Mai's phone rang.

	"That you, Luna?" she asked as she answered.

	"It's me, Tougo," he said.  "My research indicates the 
Tiki Gods plan to kidnap Imadori and sacrifice him for 
power."

	"So...I'm not seeing the downside here," Mai said.

	"They'll gain unimaginable power!," Tougo protested.

	"Yes, but no more of that idiot who ruined my 
presidency," Mai said.

	"I admit, it is a dilemna, but you'll never be able to 
return to office if the world is destroyed," Tougo said.

	Damn logic, Mai thought.  "What if I kill him before 
they can take him?"

	"Hmm, yes, that would kill both birds," Tougo said.

	Luna somehow cut into the phone conversation.  
"Murdering your classmates would turn you into a Dark 
Warrior."

	"Still not seeing the downside," Mai grumbled.  

	"You must let go of your hate," Luna began.

	"Are you Yoda now?" Mai asked.

	"You do realize that the bad guys always end by dying 
painfully or else redeeming, then dying anyway, right?" 
Luna said.

	Damn logic, Mai thought.  "How about if I put him in 
a..."

	The world wavered.  

	"Hey, what...," Mai began.

	The world turned into a palatial throneroom with 
Queen Dolly Madison on the throne.  "My daughter," she 
said.

	"Are you about to reveal important secrets to me?" 
Mai asked eagerly, now clad in her magical girl uniform.

	"Yes," she said.  "Fortunately for you, I was able to 
pull some strings and arrange for a magical cat advisor for 
you, although he won't be able to help you until you're back 
in Japan," Queen Dolly said.

	"Thanks, Mother," Mai said.

	"It's Tenma's pet, Iori."

	"..."

	"Secondly...hold on....someone's on the other dream 
line..."  Queen Dolly Madison froze up.

	"Dream line?" Mai asked in confusion.

	She paced about, waiting.

	Finally, Queen Dolly began moving again.  "Alright, 
secondly, you must beware..."  Queen Dolly flickered in 
and out.  "...masking tape.... cat loving girl.... Fight Club... 
hidden cameras... Doujibirion... kangaroo... use the 
mayonaisse..."

	"Mother, I can only make out bits and pieces!," Mai 
said frantically.

	"And if you meet Harlan Ellison, punch him in the 
face for me," Queen Dolly said.  "Got all that?"

	"No, I hardly got anything!  Do what with the 
mayonaisse?"  Mai leaned on the throne, looking desperate.

	"Hmm, bad reception on my crystal ball, I see," Dolly 
said, then flickered in and out.  "You must..."  
BZZTCRACKLE, and then she vanished and now Mai was 
falling...falling...falling....

	She could see the sea far below her, drawing closer 
and....Tenma and Karasuma flying together?  In Batwoman 
and Superman outfits no less...

	"Help!" she yelled as she plunged towards them.

	"Use your wand," Karasuma said.

	"Hi, Mai!  I like the outfit!" Tenma said, waving.

	Use my wand...use my wand..."FLYING POWER, 
TURN ON!"

	The wand grew to the size of a broom and grew wings.  
She hopped onto it and zoomed upwards.  "Yeah!"

	She charged towards the clouds, faster faster....

	WHORP!  They had the consistency of marshmellow, 
and she now stuck herself into them thoroughly.  

	A few seconds later, she woke up on the floor, her 
head rammed into her pillow.  

	She staggered to her feet, then wandered about in the 
dark until she found her wand.  Nervously, she said, 
"Flying power...turn on!"

	The wand grew to broom size and grew wings.  Her 
eyes widened, and then she grinned.  Yeah, this was going 
to be a GREAT year.

************

	Mikoto and Hanai were instructing students in the 
dojo when her phone rang, playing Mambo #5, which 
meant that it was Miki calling.  Mikoto ran over and got the 
phone.  "Hey, Miki-chan, what's up?"

	"We're under seige by yeti," Miki said.

	"But we're just across the street from you, shouldn't 
we hear something?" Mikoto asked.

	Suddenly, she could hear very loud noises across the 
street as if giant furry beings were tearing up Mikoto's 
house and shop.  

	Mikoto unconsciously twirled her white gold wedding 
ring around one finger.  At times, the ruby set into it caught 
the light.  Why did something horrible always attack the 
shop whenever she and Hanai were off trying to teach?  
Couldn't they ever attack the dojo?  It had a lot less 
expensive equipment.  "We'll be right there, Miki-chan," 
she said.  "Is Masahiro-kun okay?"

	"He's trying to brew up more knockout gas," Miki 
said.  "Please hurry; we have clients coming in fifteen 
minutes."

	"Of course," Mikoto said.  "Be there soon."  Click.  
"Okay, open practice.  Haruki and I have to crush some 
yeti.  And you can't come watch."

	"Do we have time to...," Hanai began.

	"I expect by the time Eri-chan and Kenji-kun got here, 
we'll have beaten the Yeti," Mikoto said.  "Also, Eri was 
making noises about babysitting fees last time, we call 
them so much."

	Hanai laughed nervously.  "Okay, let's go!"

	The Yeti tried, but they were no match for Hanai and 
Mikoto, not until they all yelled, "HELP US, CAPTAIN 
EDITOR!"

	Then the earth shook and the giant man in a suit 
exploded out of a nearby house, lasers firing from his eyes.

	"PLEASE TELL ME THAT ISN'T GOING TO BE 
CHARGED TO OUR INSURANCE," Miki shouted out a 
window.

	"Distract him, honey!," Mikoto shouted.

	Hanai began bouncing around, dodging eyebeams and 
trying to draw the editor's attention.  Mikoto leaped up onto 
the roof, landing next to Masahiro, which surprised her.  
How had he gotten here?

	"I jumped up onto the roof," he said.  "You're 
narrating out loud again, dear."

	Mikoto looked embarrassed.  

	He handed her a bottle of foamy green liquid.  The sun 
glinted off his white gold wedding ring, which had a 
sapphire set into it.  "If you can make him drink this..."

	"Thanks, honey," she said, kissing his cheek, then 
turning and leaping towards him.  "YOUR LAST ISSUE 
SUCKED!" she shouted at the Editor-monster.

	It turned to fry her, its mouth agape with rage and she 
threw the bottle down his throat, then landed on his 
outthrust lips and flipped up onto his nose then backflipped 
away from him, Hanai rising into the air to catch her, 
unfortunately jabbing the onyx stone on his white gold 
wedding ring into her back a little.

	"Aaah," she said, wiggling.

	"Sorry, honey," he said as they landed.

	The giant editor-thing toppled over, taking out four 
houses.

	"Now, THAT is going to go on our insurance," Miki 
mumbled from the upperstory window of the Suou 
engineering shop.

	"Takano-san will just buy it all and turn it into more 
slum housing," Masahiro said to her, trying to cheer her up 
as he leaned down from the roof edge to look in her 
window.

	"Driving down our housing values," Miki mumbled.

	"Actually, we need more space, anyway, right?" Hanai 
said.  "We can buy them out and expand the business like 
you'd been wanting to."

	Miki perks up.  "And being levelled, they'll be cheap!  
Maybe I can finally build us the in-house movie theatre 
too."  She rubbed her hands.  "This has potential."

	Mikoto nodded.  "You have to find the silver lining!"  
Really, this was a perfect arrangement...she had a manager 
for the family business she could trust so she didn't have to 
run it herself, she got to do martial arts like she wanted, lots 
of sex with...

	Her eyes crossed, she overheated, and fell over.

	When she woke up, Eri was handing her a bill.  "It's a 
good thing we were coming over to invite you all to dinner 
at our place; your poor students were all unattended!  And 
this babysitting fee will pay for all of tonight's food, even 
with my husband's appetites."

	Harima and Kenji were sparring away at high speed 
while the children clapped and applauded.

	"You're a millionaire!," Mikoto protested.  "Isn't this 
more of Akira's sort of thing to do?"

	"Now, Akira would charge you twice as much, then 
she'd spend the whole time teaching your students how to 
cosplay as penguins," Eri said, smiling.

	"I know," Mikoto mumbled, having flashbacks.  

	"I'm just teasing," Eri said, tossing the bill aside.  
"Seriously, though, our kids eat us out of house and home, 
or they try.  So when are you four going to have some?"

	"We're trying," Mikoto said, standing up finally.

	"And how, I'm sure," Eri said, wiggling her ponytails.  
Mikoto didn't know how Eri could do that, but she'd picked 
it up in college and liked to do it to insinuate someone was 
being naughty.

	Mikoto wanted kids, but feared they might mess 
things up somehow...it was hard enough making their 
special relationship work.  Though some days, like today, it 
was like a smoothly oiled machine.

	But could they keep it up with kids to complicate 
things?  She didn't know.  And that worried her.  What 
would the future bring?  

************

	Tenma rubbed her eyes.  Wasn't I flying?

	But now she was sitting at the base of Mount Fuji, in 
the grass, looking up at it, under a cold blue sky.  She 
shivered a little.  Where was Karasuma.

	Then Osaka appeared, wearing a blue shirt and blue 
jeans, but with a top-hat, a white sash labelled '2006', and 
carrying a scythe in one hand and an apple in the other.

	Tenma cocked her head.  "I don't get it."

	"I'm the baby new year," Osaka said.

	"But...you're wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt," Tenma 
said hesitantly.

	"I tried the right outfit before, but you screamed and 
threw yourself off the cliff," Osaka said.

	"Cliff?" Tenma asked, looking around.

	"I got rid of the cliff too," Osaka said.  "Ready for 
your prophesy of the future?"

	"Sure," Tenma said, confused.

	Osaka held out the apple and tried to crush it with one 
hand.  She began to turn red from strain as seconds turned 
into minutes.  Tenma came over and tried to help her 
squeeze it.  She could feel herself burning all her energy, 
trying to crush it.

	Finally, they both collapsed unconscious, and the 
prophesy, if that was its true nature, remained incomplete. 	

************
	
	Sagano came back from the bathroom, feeling slightly 
disoriented.  Everything was kind of fuzzy, which was 
normal when groggy, but annoying.  

	She stumbled over to the bed, then cuddled up to 
Yuuki, who they had let be in the middle tonight.  They 
took turns, generally, since the person in the middle got to 
be warmest.

	Something wasn't quite right, though.  For one thing, 
Yuuki seemed skinnier than usual.  Not that Yuuki was 
normally pudgy or anything, but she seemed to have shrunk 
a bit.  Secondly, Fuyuki wasn't snoring.  Thirdly...

	The door opened and a little blonde girl came 
stumbling in.  "I'm thirsty," she said.

	Sagano sat up and looked at her, blinking.  Who was 
this?

	"You're not my mother!" the child said, pointing at 
Sagano.

	"That's true," Sagano mumbled.

	Then Yuuki sat up next to Sagano and was not Yuuki.  
She was, in fact, Sara, though she looked somewhat older, 
and next to her was Asou, not Fuyuki.

	I am so fucked, Sagano thought.

	"Mommy!  I need water!" the little girl said to Sara.

	Asou looked at Sagano.  "Are you real?"  He rubbed 
his eyes.

	She jumped out of the bed to the window.  "Nope, I'm 
just a passing tooth fairy!"  She yanked the window open 
and jumped out.

	This proved to be a mistake as she now fell into an 
endless blue void; the wind grew stronger and she knew she 
fell faster...faster...faster...

	And then, distantly...green.  Mother Earth was reachng 
out her arms to embrace Sagano.  

	Like an eighteen wheeler embracing a baby carriage 
on a highway.

	She was busy praying for Yuuki and Fuyuki to be 
happy without her when a hand grabbed her collar, only to 
just end up ripping her pajama top off.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"  Sagano really didn't 
want to die being molested as she fell to her death.

	This time the hands came around her, knocking the air 
out as they caught her.  She covered her chest with her 
arms as best she could.  "Who the hell are...oh, hi, 
Karasuma."

	"You must learn to fly before you can safely jump," he 
said.  Karasuma was wearing a white shirt with a black 
jacket and pants and a blue tie with Tenma's face on it.  

	"I don't know how to fly," she said.  "Wait, how the 
hell are you...we're dreaming."

	"Yes.  We need to continue your training before you 
blunder off into more places you shouldn't be," he said.

	"Well, I'm game," she said.  

	"Then we begin."

************

	Akira stood on the edge of a chessboard, wondering if 
she'd been brought here by a white rabbit.  The chessboard 
was uninhabited, except for Nara sleeping in a bed on the 
far side.  She took a step forward towards him and some of 
the squares began to crumble.  

	Instinctively, she began to race across it, the 
chessboard crumbling faster as she ran.  Far below, a 
howling sea of chaos devoured falling masonry with 
delight.

	She yelled at Nara to wake up, but he slept soundly, 
unaware of the danger he was in as the chessboard 
crumbled.

	Finally, she reached his square and pulled him out of 
bed, waking him even as everything around them 
plummeted and this final square began to break up.  She 
could see other chessboards and stranger things--squares 
and triangles and pentagons and other shapes connected by 
rope bridges and ladders.  But she had no way to get to 
them.

	Even as the ground crumbled away around the fringes 
of the square, she said softly to Nara, "I don't know what to 
do."

	"Now you have to learn how to fly," he said.

	"But I don't know how," she said.

	"A chick doesn't know how to fly at first, and they can 
never learn, until they leave the nest," Nara said softly.

	The crumbling drew closer.  "But I don't want to leave 
the nest," she said softly.  "It's comfortable."

	"That's why the mother has to make the chick leave 
the nest," he said to her, taking her hand.  "Or the chick will 
never learn to fly."

	And then he leaped over the edge, pulling Akira with 
him.  

	She wanted to scream, but she couldn't afford to.  It 
wasn't her way.  It was too dangerous, so she held it in, all 
the way down.  

	"You can't fly if you don't spread your wings," Nara 
said softly, and then they hit the chaos and it was too late.

**********		
	
	Akira woke up, soaked in sweat.  She glanced over at 
Nara, who was trying to eat his pillow in his sleep.  Gently, 
she tugged it out of his mouth, then decided to go take a 
bath and get the sweat off.  

	On her way back from bathing under the light of the 
moon, she noticed Harima's door was wide open.  Glancing 
in, she saw him sprawled out on the floor, pen in hand.

	She sighed and went over and took the pen, putting it 
on his writing desk, then carefully dragged him over to his 
bed and began lifting him into it.

	His eyes suddenly snapped open and he looked at her, 
eyes widening, then at himself, then touched his upper 
torso.  "I...you...," he babbled.

	"Kenji, why are you..."  It was only then that she 
realized she was just wearing a towel.  

	She jumped back and he fell onto the floor.  "I 
didn't...," she began.  "I mean...I just walked by and you 
were on the floor.  I'm not trying...anything."

	"You're not going to rip off a mask and turn out to be 
Hanai or something, right?" Harima mumbled, trying to sit 
up.

	"..."

	He looked around in confusion.  "Shouldn't...I guess 
not."

	"Well, if you're okay, I'll let you sleep," she said 
nervously.  

	"Are you okay?  Why are you taking a bath at...hey, it 
was 3 AM earlier!  Did I sleep a whole day?"

	The clock flashed 2 AM.  

	"Kenji-kun, do you know how to fly?" she asked 
suddenly.
	
	"Uh, what?" he asked.

	"Nothing," she said.  It had just been a dream--her 
dream--and Kentaro certainly didn't have REAL wings.  I 
should go to bed before I start saying anything else crazy, 
she thought.

	"Uh, right," he said.

	"I'll just be going to bed now," she said, then took off 
quickly.  

	Nara was sitting up when she got back.  "You okay?" 
he asked groggily.

	"Did I wake you up?", she asked softly.

	"Not sure," he said.  "But I noticed you weren't here."

	"I went and took a bath," she said, climbing into bed.  
"Let's sleep," she said softly.

	"Okay," he said, wrapping his arms around her and 
drifting off to sleep.  

	And the moon shone down on all as they slumbered in 
peace.

	But peace, of course, never lasts long.


Tarakawa Kenichi


Imadori--New Years' Eve
Kenji--New Years' Morning
Yakumo--NY Evening.  

	Mikoto made her final plans for the trip.  Harima and 
Yakumo, Tenma and Karasuma, Akira and Nara would be 
staying at the ski lodge with her and Hanai and Miki and 
Masahiro and their gang.  Karen, Harry, Asou, Suga, Sara, 
and Satsuki would all be staying at Eri's family's new place.  
Yuuki, Sagano, and Fuyuki would come out for the big 
party to perform with the band, but Sagano had family 
stuff, so they'd only be out there briefly.

In addition to Miki and Masahiro, there were two 
other couples there.  Miki began introducing them.  "This is 
Jenny Mackenzie.  She's an exchange student from the US."  
Jenny was a tall, thin blonde in expensive clothing.  "And 
this is Matano Keiichi."  Keiichi was middling in height, 
sturdy of build, with hair he'd bleached blonde.  It looked 
quite ridiculous; he wore a t-shirt and jeans.  "Over here, 
we have Kobayashi Shinichi and Ginza Kasumi."  Both of 
them were middling in height with short brown hair, though 
she wore a red dress and he was wearing a nice dress shirt 
and black slacks with a bow-tie.