This Story No Title
A School Rumble Fanfic 

Chapter 21: Money, Money, Money!

By John Biles

****************

	Harima sat nervously next to Yakumo and Imadori, 
while Eri sat next to her parents on the other side of the 
table.  He picked nervously at his food, while Yakumo ate 
quietly and Imadori ate loudly.

	"The first round victory goes to Harima, because he 
did a good job of making contacts with various of our 
family members and allies, although we almost threw him 
out of the contest because of his invasion of Kyousuke-
kun's party," Henry said.

	"But...," Harima began to protest.

	"Don't bury yourself.  We would have given the win to 
Tsukamoto, who gave the best party, but many of our 
guests got the idea she was a hired entertainer and she 
didn't make the kind of contacts that Harima did," Henry 
continued.

	Yakumo carefully watched her food.  

	"She's kind of shy," Harima said.  "She..."

	"Yes, which is not ideal for the life we lead," Henry 
said.  "Kyousuke-kun, you refrained from wrecking 
anyone's party, but much as you and my wife and your 
friends enjoyed it, most of the guests were either confused 
or not particularly pleased or thought it was childish."

	"I liked it," Ami said.

	"Yes, I noted that, dear," Henry said.

	Imadori nodded.  "I just went with what I know."

	"You'll have to do better in the next round," Henry 
said.

	"What is the next round?" Harima asked.

	"Each of you will be setting up and running a business 
for a month," Ami said.  "You'll get to choose what it is and 
be given a financial advisor, since none of you have proper 
business training yet," she said.

	"You'd better keep Akira out of it, or her team will 
win," Imadori said.

	"Hey, no one said you couldn't have your Douji-
buddies help you with your Dodgeballion or what it's 
called," Harima said.

	I should try and get sempai to help me this time, 
Yakumo thought.

	"We'll think on it.  We'll need time to set things up, so 
come up with your concept, and the contest will begin once 
you return to school," Ami said.

	"Won't that make doing our homework difficult?" 
Yakumo asked.

	"You will act as top management; staff provided by us 
will run the store when you're busy with school, homework, 
etc," Ami said.  "We understand you are still in school."

	Harima looked over at Eri, who looked very carefully 
blank.  "Will Eri-san be helping each of us in turn, or is she 
largely out of this?"

	"Eri will monitor the projects in our absence and 
report to us, as we'll be in and out of Japan over the next 
month," Ami said.  "Try and come up with your concept 
over the next few days and let us know."

	"Okay," Imadori said.  "What kind of budget are we 
talking?"

	"Enough for a shop or a nightclub or a restaurant or 
something like that, not enough to make your own car 
company," Ami said.

	Imadori nodded. "Alright.  I can work with that."  I 
can fulfill my dream of owning a bunny bar!  YES!

	Maybe a nice restaurant of some kind, Yakumo 
thought.

	Fuck, Harima thought.  I don't know jack about 
business.  Maybe I can teach people to ride motorcycles or 
something...  

	This would take some thought.  

**************

	"You flatter me," Miki said to Mrs. Sawachika a little 
later.

	"Seriously, I've looked at your grades," Mrs. 
Sawachika began.

	"How did you get to see my grades?" Miki asked in a 
sudden panic.

	"Your parents were very cooperative," Mrs. 
Sawachika said.

	"..."

	"Anyway, I think this opportunity would look good on 
your resume in the future," Mrs. Sawachika said.  "And we 
will pay you, of course."

	"I would rather be able to back up Harima-san, 
though, or Yakumo-san," Miki said.  

	"Harima-san has Takano-san backing him, which is 
why we need you in the first place.  Though if you think 
you can't outwit a high school student...," Ami began.

	That stung Miki's pride.  "I'm not afraid of Takano's 
brain," Miki said firmly.  "But it seems pretty clear to me 
that your daughter doesn't want to marry Imadori, so much 
as I appreciate your offer, I can't see my way clear to this.  
Much as I could use the money."  Though I could take the 
offer, then give him all bad advice, she thought.

	No, that would be unethical and if anyone figured it 
out, it would hurt her in the future.  "If you can use me in 
some other capacity...," she said hopefully.

	Mrs. Sawachika looked over at Mr. Sawachika.  

	He said, "Yes, actually.  This is what we need you to 
do..."

	It was, as it turned out, something she felt she could 
agree to.

**************

	Eri heard a knock on her door as she was busy 
hugging a stuffed cat-thing-doll and moping.  "Who is it?"

	"Mikoto," was the reply.

	"Come in."

	Mikoto came in, closing the door behind her.  "Hey, 
how are you feeling?"

	"Exhausted.  Kind of burnt out," Eri said, slumping 
over the rather large doll, resting her chin on its head.

	Mikoto picked up another stuffed doll; this one was a 
sort of large blue rabbit.  It had seen better days, being 
rather battered and having odd purple areas on its fur.  She 
then sat down by Eri, hugging it.  "Want to talk about it?"

	"You ever think of running away, Mikoto-chan?," Eri 
asked.

	"Yeah, sometimes," Mikoto said.  "Gonna elope with 
Kenji, hmm?"

	"I wish," Eri said softly.  "This stupid engagement is 
messing everything up.  I don't want to be a prize."

	"Yeah, I can't blame you.  But I expect your parents 
are probably trying to teach you a lesson," Mikoto said.

	Eri grimaced, squeezing her cat-thing-doll.  "All I'm 
learning is that I'd rather die than marry Imadori.  And I 
think Yakumo is hot for me now."

	"..."

	"I mean, I can see how my sweet kisses are 
irresistable, but I was insane AND male at the time," Eri 
said, rambling on, loosening her grip on the doll.  "Or 
possibly Tenma's convinced Yakumo she's a were-lesbian 
now."

	Mikoto rolled her eyes.  "That's our Tenma."

	"Exactly.  But once she gets an idea in her head...," Eri 
began.

	"I know," Mikoto said, hugging her blue rabbit a little 
tighter.  "Miki filled her head with this completely insane 
stuff about college students, though I think she's forgotten 
it in favor of were-lesbianism."

	"What kind of stuff?" Eri asked curiously.

	"About how all college students have foursomes 
and...it's best we not even think about it," Mikoto said, 
shaking her head.

	Eri grinned a little.  "Not going to give away your 
secrets?"

	"Yeah...no!," Mikoto said.  "Look, with Akira backing 
him, I doubt Harima can lose, so long as your parents don't 
decide on...a smiling contest."

	Eri laughed, feeling better.  "That's true.  But Imadori's 
protesting that, so they may try to neutralize her somehow."  
She frowned at that.

	Mikoto cocked her head slightly.  "So did you end up 
confessing without us being there to witness, or did you 
wuss out?"

	"I didn't wuss out!  I just didn't have a good chance to 
get him alone.  And I fear I won't now that the parties are 
over."  She sighed.  "I just...I can't talk about things like 
that with security over my head."

	"It may be a long time before you can without security 
over your head," Mikoto said, shaking her head.

	Eri flopped back on the bed, ponytails akimbo, staring 
at the ceiling with the cat-thing-doll on her chest.  "I know, 
I know," she said.  "I still think if he doesn't know, he's a 
complete idiot."

	"You can't leave any wiggle room," Mikoto said.  
"Hanai is mine, all mine, because I left no wiggle room in 
front of witnesses."

	"You certainly did some wiggling in front of those 
witnesses," Eri said, then laughed softly, sitting back up.

	Mikoto turned red.  "That's another story," she 
mumbled.  "So what makes you think Yakumo is hot for 
you now?"

	"Well, when I nearly kissed her, she was ready to be 
kissed," Eri began.

	Mikoto raised an eyebrow.  "So who is hot for who?"

	"I didn't...we didn't...I'm not a man right now, 
dammit!" Eri said.

	"Picked up Kenji's cursing, I see," Mikoto said, 
grinning.  

	"I really need to not do that or Mother will have my 
mouth washed out again," Eri said, making a face.  
"Anyway, I am not hot for Yakumo.  I'd go insane dealing 
with Little Miss Perfect all the time."  She moved into a 
more normal frown.

	"She doesn't go around being snooty," Makoto said.  
"She seems pretty nice to me."

	"She's just in this to keep Kenji away from me," Eri 
said dolefully.

	Probably true, Mikoto thought.  "Well, I'll be backing 
you in this, and I know you love Kenji, even if you can't 
admit it."

	Eri buried her face in the cat-doll-thing and said 
something incoherent through it.

	Mikoto smiled a little.  "Akira and I will make sure 
you get to be happy, Eri."

	"Thank you," she said softly.

	"So don't worry about Imadori or Yakumo.  It's going 
to be okay," Mikoto said.  "I'm sure there won't be any 
more trouble."

************

	Yuri and Tae's father were locked in a stalemated 
game of chess; each of them was just good enough to hold 
off the other without coming to a win.  Tae had passed out 
on the nearby couch, and Tani was reading a book; distant 
typing echoed down from above, as Tae's mother tapped 
away at the keys.

	Yuri's phone rang and she answered it.  "Hello?"

	"Hello.  Are you Moteuchi Yuri?" the woman on the 
other end asked.

	"Yes, I am," she said.  "May I ask who you are?"

	"I am Sawachika Ami, Eri's mother."

	Yuri smiled.  "Your daughter is very nice," she said.

	"I'm glad you like her.  I understand you have some 
experience running your own business," Mrs. Sawachika 
said.

	"Yes," Yuri said.  

	"Good.  I have an offer to make you..."

************	

	"So, are we ready to strike?" Satsuki's father asked the 
others.

	"We will need more work, but I think you will need to 
return to avoid losing your job," Mr. Hanai said.  "And my 
students need me.  We will feign forgiveness and finish 
your training in secret, then strike when they are most 
vulnerable."

	"And I...," Mr. Gonzales asked a little nervously.

	"I'd like you to continue teaching at my Dojo.  My boy 
can always use a few more beatings," Mr. Hanai said.

	"Amen to that," Mr. Gonzales said.  "He will rue the 
day he broke my little Lala's heart!"

**************

	Hanai, Miki, Masahiro, Jenny, and Keiichi were out 
on the slopes, enjoying them while they still could.  
However, as they cruised down the hill, Hanai sneezed 
violently, causing him to lose balance and crash into a tree.

	"Haruki-kun!," Miki yelled, pulling up short to see if 
he was okay.

	Keiichi looked back, laughing, and crashed into a tree 
himself.  Jenny laughed at that, only to also crash.

	Masahiro shook his head and came over to them, 
helping them up.

	"Masahiro-kun, are you...whew," Miki said, afraid 
he'd crashed too.  "Someone must be thinking of you," Miki 
said, helping Hanai up.

	"They picked a lousy time to do it," Hanai mumbled. 

	But soon, they were all back in motion.

*************

	Tougo answered the phone.  "Hello, this is Tougo 
Masakazu."

	"Hey, cousin," a female voice said.  "How's it going?"

	"Stage one reached," he said.  "Tentatively heading 
into stage two.  Tell Mom I can see why it took her so long 
to find a husband."

	"She'll beat my ass," his cousin said.

	"Yes, instead of me."  He laughed.

	"So how are things with you two?" his cousin asked 
curiously.

	"Very well.  She's a wonderful girlfriend.  Not always 
easy to deal with, but I don't want a weakling," Tougo said.

	"Me neither," his cousin said.

	"Everyone you've ever dated has been a complete 
doormat, so you could get them to give you presents," 
Tougo said, amused.

	"Yes, but I'm too young to settle down.  So for 
now...presents," his cousin said.  "You found those manga 
for me yet?"

	"Still looking," Tougo said.  "I'll make another run of 
conventions and shops once things get moving back in 
Japan."

	"Well, good luck in school, then," his cousin said.  
"Hmm, I'm surprised the reception is this good."

	"Things work better when you get permission instead 
of stealing them," Tougo said.  "Not that I know anyone 
who ever stole anything important."

	"Hey!  I had no choice," his cousin protested.  

	"Of course.  Anyway, Mai's almost here and we're 
going out, so bye for now.  Take care," Tougo said.

	"You too," she said, then hung up.

	Mai now came in.  "Ready to go?"

	"I'm always ready for you, my dear love.  Seeing you 
like this reminds me of my trip to Greece..."  Actually, 
Tougo had never been to Greece, but he bluffs well.

*************

	"Good day, Sawachika-san, Sawachika-sama," Mrs. 
Takano said to Henry and Ami Sawachika respectively.  
"What did you wish to talk to me about?"

	"We have a business proposition for you.  Tarakawa-
san recommended you," Henry said.  He passed a small 
plate with cookies and tea over to Mrs. Takano.

	"Thank you," Mrs. Takano said, sipping the tea. Arya 
Ruby Darjeeling, First Flush.  Exactly the sort of high-class 
tea she would expect of a wealthy family.  She could see a 
nearby basket which contained Singbulli Darjeeling, 
Makaibari Silver Tip Darjeeling, and Choka Blue 
Darjeeling, all First Flush as well.  Definitely trying to 
butter me up, as I'm sure they know I'll recognize it, she 
thought.  "I assume this relates to the upcoming contest of 
businesses and your desire to ensure my daughter does not 
turn it into a massacre."

	Henry stared at her, jaw slightly open.

	Ami smiled.  "I see you are very intelligent.  This is 
what we would ask of you..."

	Mrs. Takano listened, and decided it would indeed be 
agreeable to her, especially as she felt the need to further 
test that boy herself, before Akira could do anything 
foolish.  

	The dangerous ones are so attractive, she thought.  But 
they'll only hurt you in the end.  

	She knew that from experience.

*************

	"Did Eri actually kiss you or not?" Tenma asked 
Yakumo as they sat in the lodge having hot chocolate.

	"Not," Yakumo mumbled.  "She got mad at me when 
we went to take her clothing off.  But I think...she almost 
did."

	"Almost is a good start," Tenma said.  "Maybe I need 
to bite her to help things along."

	"I don't think that would help," Yakumo said.  She 
paused.  "You don't think I'm perfect, do you?"

	Tenma paused, put down her coffee, then came over 
and very gently noogied Yakumo.  "Don't be vain, little 
sis."

	"I'm not...she just...she thinks I am and hates it," 
Yakumo said, staring down at her sister's feet.

	Tenma hugged Yakumo.  "You're very wonderful.  I'm 
sure she was stressed out from too much partying and being 
kidnapped," Tenma said.  "No one could not love you."

	"I...oneechan, do you know where you're going for 
college?  Or what you're going to do for a living?" she 
asked Tenma.

	"I'm going to be a famous Samurai show actor," 
Tenma said.  "Or maybe I'll write like our parents.  Or 
maybe I'll be one of those adventuring archaeologists.  I 
look good in a fedora, right?"

	"You look fine in anything," Yakumo said.  "You'd 
make a good actor.  You should join the Drama Club."

	Tenma looked thoughtful.  "That would be kind of 
logical for an acting career.  But really, I'm too busy with 
school and Karasuma and my friends and you to think 
about the future too much."

	"I...how are you going to eat?" Yakumo asked.

	Tenma blinked. "With chopsticks and my mouth, 
right?"

	"..."

	They stared mindlessly at each other for a few 
seconds.  Yakumo then said, "Oneechan, I mean, when you 
go off to college, you will need to know how to cook."

	"I know how to cook," Tenma said.  "Though you're 
better."

	Yakumo struggled to find a polite, loving way to say 
'YOU ENTIRELY SUCK AND WILL KILL EVEN 
YOURSELF'.  But there really wasn't one.  "Well..."

	"Are you feeling overstretched, Yakumo?" Tenma 
asked kindly.  "I can start cooking more if you need more 
time for your manga."

	"I could use more free time for that," Yakumo said, 
hesitantly.  

	"Don't worry, Yakumo; I've been watching you all 
these years.  I'll happily do more of the chores, so you can 
have more time to spend with Eri and Kenji and working 
on your manga and everything," Tenma said.  "Because it's 
my duty as your big sister to take care of you."

	After such a kind gesture, how could Yakumo criticize 
Tenma's skills at all those chores?  She didn't know how to 
do it without sounding ungrateful.  But it had been Tenma's 
general level of incompetence which had helped to lead to 
Yakumo doing most of the work so it would be done right.

	Still, it was a start.  Practice makes perfect, right?

	"I'll start by making everyone dinner tonight.  When 
Karasuma and I throw wild victory parties in the future, I'll 
need to be able to cook for so many people at once," Tenma 
said.  "Hmm.  You ever made clam chowder, Yakumo?"

	"Papa didn't like clams, so Mother didn't pass me any 
recipes for that," Yakumo said.

	"This will be an ADVENTURE, then," Tenma said.

	Oh dear, Yakumo thought.

**************

	"Umino-san, I must regretfully ask a large favor of 
you," Ami Sawachika said to Umino.

	"You want me to keep Yukari away from Imadori-
san?", he asked.

	"..."

	Umino laughed.  "I'd keep her away from me if I 
could, but she must have some hidden good feature which 
keeps Nyamo-san from killing her.  And since Nyamo-san 
won't toss her out on her well-padded ass..."

	"Language," Ami Sawachika said firmly.

	"On her well padded posterior region," Umino said, 
looking amused and carefully articulating it all.  "Anyway," 
he said, leaning back in his chair a little.  "I'd be tempted to 
test the smothering with bread machine on her, but she'd 
probably like it," he said.

	"Umm, what?" Ami asked in confusion.

	"Forget I said that.  There's not a prototype yet, 
anyway.  So, she's trying to seduce the boy?" he asked, 
knowing full well she'd succeeded, but not wanting to give 
up that he knew more than he let on.  

	"She is too old for him, and he is at the age where men 
are easily influenced.  Furthermore, if anyone notices, it 
will be a major trouble source," Ami said.

	Umino nodded.  "I will do what I can, but once the 
holidays are over and I go back to work, I will have less 
power to do so."

	"I understand," she said.  "Just do your best."

	"Of course I will," he said.  

	"Thank you."

*************

	"She's put that Umino fellow as a watchdog on you," 
Buddha said to Imadori.

	"I know," Imadori said.  "It's to be expected.  But I 
think Yukari-chan will be hung over a few days, anyway."

	"True," Buddha said.  It was strange; he'd seen many 
such relationships in his videos and they usually excited 
him, but seeing Yukari with Kyousuke made him very 
nervous instead.  He had a feeling this would all end badly, 
possibly with Karen, Lala, and Mrs. Sawachika all beating 
Imadori to death.  

	I hope my videos are alright, he thought.  Mother 
always loses everything if she tries to clean with me absent.  
Though at least she knew how to take care of videos better 
than most people.

	It'll be fine, he thought.  It's a good thing I don't have 
any vengeful relatives staying at my house or anything.  
Not this year, anyway.

**************

	Mrs. Sagano was happy that Tomo had been willing to 
take over the duties of watching her little sister since her 
return.  It was less trouble for everyone.  But it also made 
her suspicious, as Tomo normally hated the kid and tried to 
avoid her.

	She stuck her head into Tomo's room (really Megumi's 
room, but Megumi was still gone), and found Tomo 
playing with the baby.  "Dear, she is likely to sick up if you 
keep spinning her over your head."

	"I think she's run out of stuff to throw up by now, but I 
thought it best to make sure she's cleaned out, just in case 
it's food poisoning," Tomo said.

	"..."

	"But if you want to take her..."

	"No, that's fine," Mrs. Sagano said, quickly closing the 
door.  

	Once she was gone, Tomo resumed the spinning until 
she heard the kid making the noises she knew meant that 
vomiting was imminent.  Then she opened the closet and 
let her little sister hose down another one of Megumi's 
boxes of porn.  

	Best vengeance ever, Tomo thought.

**************

	Sagano suddenly paused right as she, Karen, Harry, 
Lala, Fuyuki, and Yuuki were about to go skiing down the 
slope.  She got a glazed look and everyone turned and 
stared at her.

	"I heard it," she mumbled.

	"Heard what?" Harry asked.  

 	"As if millions of pieces of porn suddenly cried out in 
agony and were silenced," Sagano said somberly.  

	Yuuki walked over, pulled off Sagano's helmet, and 
gently noogied her.  "Don't be ridiculous."

	Lala rolled her eyes.

	Fuyuki, on the other hand, frowned a little.  

	"No matter how much coffee you drink, you still can't 
use the Force, Megumi-chan," Yuuki said.

	"Tenma can," Sagano said.  "I envy her that."

	"Tenma does not use the Force," Yuuki said.

	"She can move things with her mind," Sagano said.  
"That's the Force all over."

	"Okay, we're going to have to settle this," Yuuki said.  
"Or you'll probably kill yourself trying to levitate down the 
mountain.  Come on."

**************

	"Yakumo-san, can you come help me?" Harima asked.  
"I'm working on the manga."

	"Nee-chan is trying to cook," Yakumo said.  "I'm 
trying to help her."

	Distantly, he heard Tenma say, "Don't worry, 
Yakumo, I can handle it!  You can go play!"

	She's so kind and giving, Harima thought.  "See, your 
sister says it's okay."

	"Well...okay," Yakumo said.  "If you need me."

	"I definitely need you," he said.

	He could almost hear her smile.  "I'll be there soon, 
then!"

	"Thank you," he said, and went back to work.

***************
	
	Yuuki paused after opening the door as the smell hit 
her.  "What is that?"

	Everyone sniffed the air.  Lala finally said, hesitantly, 
"Clams?"

	Sagano cocked her head.  "I hear a million clams..."

	Fuyuki gave her the noogie this time.

	They pressed on as other smells, like garlic, cinnamon, 
and sugar filled the air as well.  Inside the kitchen, they 
found Tenma wearing a chef's hat and trying to carefully 
shake garlic powder into a small measuring spoon.  A lot of 
it fell to the sides, wasted, so she would scoop it up and put 
it back in the cannister, then try again.

	Karen asked, hesitantly, "What are you making?"

	"Clam chowder," Tenma said.  "I couldn't find any 
raw chowder, though, so I'm improvising."

	Hesitantly, Karen said, "I don't think there's anything 
called chowder in clam chowder."

	Tenma blinked.  "What?"

	"It's just called that," Karen said.

	"So...trying to improvise only with ingredients 
available to the Chou dynasty was a mistake," Tenma said 
hesitantly.

	"..."

	"Well, it smells good to me, so we'll just have to see.  
Everyone likes vegetables and clams, anyway.  Carrots, 
celery, cabbage, melons, all good."

	"Melon?" Fuyuki asked in confusion.

	"Melon," Tenma said firmly.

	So glad we're eating at the other house, Fuyuki 
thought.  SO GLAD.

	 "Would you like some help?" Yuuki asked hesitantly.  
She couldn't let everyone over here die, not being class 
president now.  "I am class president, so I should help."

	Tenma smiled and took her hands.  "You're just like 
Hanai now!  You'll make a great class president!"

	"..."

	Sagano laughed.  "I'll help too."

	"I know all about cooking," Lala said.  "We can all 
make something and see whose is best!  Competition 
makes us strong!"

	"Ooooh," Tenma said.  "Yeah!  Everyone make 
something!  It'll be a SUPER FEAST!  Even if I'll win 
easily."

	"Easily?" Sagano asked.  "I'll show YOU easily."

	Tenma smiled confidently.  "Bring it on!"

	Fuyuki looked over at Harry.  "Want to go ski while 
they cook?"

	"You can't leave," Sagano said.  "You have to judge 
who is best."

	"Right," Harry said.  He knew when to defy and when 
not to.  "We can play chess while we wait, then."

	"Great," Sagano said.  "ENTERTAIN US."

	Fuyuki had a feeling his imminent defeat would 
probably amuse Harry, anyway.

****************
	
	There was a knock on Eri's door.

	"Who is it?" she shouted.  She and Mikoto had 
decided to spend the day together; they'd gotten out Life--
Grand Theft Auto edition to play.  It was ludicrous, but she 
could use some laughs.

	"It's me, Akira, and Kentaro.  Mind if we come in?"

	"This is a girls' only refuge," Eri said.  "I want to 
forget men exist for a little while."

	There was whispering, and then Akira came in alone.  
"Ahh, that's a good game."

	"You're welcome to play with us," Eri said.

	Akira came over and sat down.  "Shouldn't we call 
Tenma?"

	"She said she's in a cooking contest and can't come," 
Eri said.

	"Mind if I eat over here tonight?" Akira asked.

	Mikoto laughed.

	"I'm sorry about Nara," Eri began.  

	"Oh, it's okay," Akira said.  "After all your problems, I 
can understand the desire to forget all about romantic 
things and just be with your friends," she said.  "I was so 
busy with Kenji's party, I hardly got to spend any time with 
anyone at any of them."

	"You really did a great job managing Kenji's party," 
Eri said to Akira.  "You could probably...well, I'm not sure 
if people could make a living from that, but if they can, 
you'd make a great party manager."

	"Yeah, except for Lupin III, the whole thing went 
really smoothly," Mikoto said, now setting up the board 
and handing everyone a little car and a little pink stick to 
stand in for themselves.

	"And I had a good time, too," Eri said, setting her car 
on the track.  "You're going into business in college, right, 
Akira?"

	"My goal is to own my own bookstore," Akira said.  
"So I can read and make money at the same time."

	Mikoto laughed.  "That's so you.  Spin for who goes 
first?"

	They all spun.  Mikoto got a 7, Eri got a 9, and Akira 
got a 4.  

	"And you, Mikoto?" Akira asked.

	"I expect that Hanai and I will take over his family's 
dojo when the time comes.  Dad is kind of waffling on the 
future of our family business, though," Mikoto said, 
frowning.

	"He doesn't think a woman can handle it?" Akira 
asked cooly, while Eri spun the wheel again and moved her 
car.  

 	"Hmm, I found 20,000 abandoned after a crack deal.  
Useful," Eri said, getting the money.

	Mikoto reached over to spin again, but paused.  
"Actually, I'm completely inept at everything you need to 
be an engineer, and the manager needs at least some skill at 
that.  But I think now he's wanting to push me to pick up 
the business skills needed, as I could hire an engineering 
intermediary if I had to."  

	"Do you want to run it?" Akira asked.

	Mikoto spun the wheel.  She got a four and her tire 
blew out, causing her to lose a turn.  "I don't know.  I like 
martial arts better, but I'd hate to see the business go out of 
the family."

	Eri looked at Mikoto thoughtfully.  "I know the 
feeling.  If I don't take up the mantle of inheritance..."  She 
sighed.

	"Your turn," Mikoto said softly.

	"But let's not think about that right now," Eri said.  "I 
want to focus on raising a pack of children to be car thieves 
and assassins."  She spun the wheel.  "Lucky eleven!"

	She moved her car.  "You steal a baby from a rich 
family, along with its expensive toys.  Add a child of your 
gender choice to your car and 15,000 dollars to your 
wealth."  She smiled, taking a little pink piece.  "Yeah!  
Come on, let's get it on!"

	Mikoto grinned.  "That's the spirit.  Let's play!  We 
can be old worrywarts tomorrow!"

	Akira shook her head, but put her worries aside for 
now.

**************

	Harima looked up from his work, over at Yakumo, 
who was busy inking.  She's such a hard worker, he 
thought.  Which was good, as it inspired him to work hard 
too.  But she seemed to almost have a black cloud hovering 
over her.

	He frowned at that.  She'd probably want to talk about 
it.  Or maybe not.  Yakumo tended to be the silent type.  
Which did make her easy to get along with.

	He decided it best not to pry and went back to 
working.  After he'd been working a while, he noticed she 
was wearing the pendant he'd given her.  Good.  He'd wear 
the shirt she'd made him, but it was in the wash.  But 
maybe it would help her if he wore it anyway.

	"I'll be right back," he said.

	"Okay," she said.

	He went and found it; the laundry was waiting to be 
done.  He wondered, suddenly, who had been doing the 
laundry all this time.  Surely Yakumo hadn't been doing it 
for everyone.  

	He called Miki, who answered.  "Hello?"

	"Who's been doing the laundry?" he asked.

	"It...I think Yakumo has," Miki said.  "Actually, I 
hadn't thought about it."

	He suddenly felt rather guilty.  He always had to do 
his own laundry at home, as Itoko refused to do it for him.  
But he'd generally let Yakumo do all that sort of thing at 
her house.  He'd help if asked or if he noticed, but she 
usually just took care of everything invisibly.

	But now the laundry was piling up because no one was 
thinking about it but her, and she was probably tired of 
doing laundry for everyone.  He knew he would be.

	His conscience and his fundamental laziness began 
knifing each other; laziness might have won, but then he 
remembered how gloomy she'd looked.  Surely taking this 
burden off her would cheer her up.  More than him wearing 
a wrinkly shirt that needed cleaning would.

	Even if he needed to be working on his manga.

	Now his job warred with his conscience.  The eye, the 
staring eye...

	He was about to leave, when he remembered he'd been 
working a good while without Yakumo, so she really 
needed some time to catch up to him.  So it wouldn't really 
delay things.

	Though he didn't want to do so much laundry.

	His mind then hit upon the perfect compromise.  He 
could do his own laundry and Yakumo's.  Everyone else 
could do their own damn laundry.  

	That hit the perfect sweet spot of conscience, 
practicality, and time.  After all, he didn't owe any of the 
others anything.  Well, he had gotten some of them to help 
with the party...

	But it would just take way too long.  Though maybe 
he could do Miki's, as it was her family's lodge.  Alright, 
he'd throw hers in too.  Everyone else could do it 
themselves, and he'd tell Yakumo to not do it for everyone.  
They needed to focus on the manga, anyway.

	He began sorting the laundry into lights, darks, and 
whites.  He was in the middle of studying a set of panties, 
trying to determine whose it was, when Tenma walked in, 
holding a ladle and wearing a chef's hat.  "Is someone in..."  
Her eyes widened.

	He dropped the panties hastily.  "I was just trying to 
figure out whose it was!"

	She turned red.  "How long have you been doing 
this?"

	"Just a few minutes!" he protested.

	"You don't wear it, do you?  Did you get affected that 
much in the other world?" Tenma asked in shock.

	"No!  I'm just trying to do the laundry!" he said.

	"You're fondling women's underwear!" Tenma said.

	"It's kind of hard to wash it without touching it!" 
Harima fired back.

	Sagano ambled in, holding a butcher knife.  "What's 
this about underwear stealing?"

	"I am not trying to steal underwear!  I'm trying to 
figure out what belongs to who," Harima said.

	"But you haven't washed it yet, so it doesn't matter!" 
Tenma said.

	"You'd better not be trying to find Yakumo's 
underwear to sniff it," Sagano said, pointing with her knife 
for emphasis.

	He was screwed, and with Akira gone, there was no 
one to understand the situation at a glance and get him out 
of the accusations.  No one to advise him, no one...but her.

	I give up, he said.  TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

	I'm not all knowing, you know, Onna-Harima said.  
This isn't love-love, it's your basic 'guy looks like a perv' 
unfairly scenario, which is just part of a woman's job to 
make men's lives difficult.  Just like not listening when 
women talk is part of how men make women's lives 
difficult.

	"Kenji-kun, are you even listening to me?" Tenma 
said.

	Case in point, Onna-Harima said.

	Fuck.  One more stab at the truth.  "I'm trying to do 
the laundry so Yakumo doesn't have to keep cleaning 
everyone's clothing when she's already been keeping us fed 
and clean this whole trip!" he bellowed.

	Sagano stepped back, almost blown back.

	Tenma looked guilty for a moment, then said, "Oh."  
She stared at the floor, then said, "See, you don't sort it by 
person first.  You have to do it by lights, darks, and whites, 
then you separate it out afterwards.  Otherwise, you have to 
do three runs per person and then the soap floods the 
washing room even more times than usual and it gets 
messy."

	She turned to Sagano.  "Can you help Kenji?  I expect 
he's never done this before."

	"Sure, I can teach him," Sagano said.  "But you're 
gonna have to get someone to watch over my salads."

	"Are they going to do something if they're not 
watched?  It looked like you were nearly done," Tenma 
said.

	"Well, uh...you never know, they can get tricky," 
Sagano mumbled.

	"I'll have Harry keep an eye on them," Tenma said, 
patting her shoulder.  "Have fun, Kenji-kun!"

	Sagano now began teaching Harima stuff he already 
knew.  He feigned ignorance, however, as it would keep 
him out of trouble.  Even if it meant ten times as much 
work.

	Ugh. 

************
	
	"Thinking about your old boyfriend?" Tani asked Tae 
as she stood on the balcony, looking out at the sea.

	"Trying to forget all that," she said, sighing.

	"You must have loved him a lot," Tani said softly.

	"I changed everything I was for him and in the end, he 
loved someone else," she said softly.

	He winced at that.  But he wanted to know more.  He 
had to, if she wasn't going to end up periodically going all 
broody for the rest of their lives.  "Did he tell you he loved 
you, then left you for someone else?" he asked softly, 
laying his hands on hers.

	She twined her fingers with his.  "No, I just...I just 
believed I could make him mine.  If I did the right things 
and turned into the right person...we could be together 
forever."

	He leaned down and kissed her cheek.  "Nothing is 
forever," he said.  "But you have to let go of the past," he 
said softly.

	"I wish I had a nice past like you and Yurippe," she 
said very, very softly.

	"I wish I had a nice family like yours.  They're so 
relaxing to be around," Tani said.

	"I used to think they were totally boring and square, 
which is part of why I was such a wretched teenager," Tae 
said, sighing.  "But I guess everyone goes a little wild in 
those years."

	"For me, going a little wild meant I didn't always tuck 
in my shirt," Tani mumbled.

	"Did you tell your mother there were fairies in the 
garden when you and Yurippe needed to sneak out to go 
have ice cream together even though it would spoil your 
dinner?" Tae teased.

	"After all I've seen, I'm starting to wonder if maybe 
she DID find fairies there some time," Tani said, shaking 
his head.  "Anyway, if you ever feel bad, you don't have to 
run from us.  We're here for you," he said.

	"Everyone needs solitude sometimes," Tae said, then 
turned and kissed him softly.  "And sometimes I just..."  
She couldn't bring herself to say it.

	"You're never in the way," Tani said firmly.  "Also, 
I'm hoping we can trade in Yurippe's parents for a copy of 
yours."

	Tae laughed, then said, "But it would make our love 
incest."

	Tani made a face.  "Okay, you win this round, Tae-
chin."  Kiss.  "Feeling better?"

	"Yes," she said.  "Let's go see if we can further 
bankrupt my brother-in-law."

	"It is nice having someone worse at poker than me," 
Tani said, taking her by the arm and leading her inside.  
"Just be gentle with me."

	"I'll spend all my winnings off you on prettying you 
up," Tae said, grinning.  "I can feel the ideas flooding my 
mind already."

	Note to self, lose to Yurippe if possible, Tani thought. 

************

	After a while, Yakumo began to worry.  Kenji had just 
mysteriously vanished.  She still had pages to ink, but 
surely the bathroom or wherever he went, he shouldn't have 
been gone so long.

	So she got up and went looking for him.  Eventually, 
she ended up in the kitchen, where many crowded projects 
were going at once.  They had enough food for several 
meals now.  If Tenma's didn't kill them all, anyway.  Was 
Clam Chowder supposed to smell so sweet?

	She came over and looked; a lot of the food looked 
pretty good.  But why was Harry intently watching a huge 
bowl of salad and several smaller ones?

	"We should get Yakumo to judge; she's the master 
chef," Tenma said.

	"Good point," Yuuki said, working on frying 
vegetables in a wok.

	"Has anyone seen Kenji-san?" Yakumo asked.

	"He's doing the laundry," Tenma said.  "Isn't he such a 
good boyfriend?"

	Yakumo blinked.  "He is?"  Why didn't he tell me?

	"We're still cooking, if you want to go see him," 
Tenma said.

	Yakumo nodded and went to the laundry room, where 
for some reason, Sagano was standing on the lid of the 
washing machine, which was working away.  Harima was 
carefully going through piles of clothing, holding a spray 
bottle of spot remover.

	"Hi," Yakumo said softly.

	"Hi," Harima said to her.  "Did you finish everything?  
This is taking longer than I thought."

	"No, not everything," she said softly, looking around.  
"You're going to do it all?"

	"Yeah, so you don't have to," Harima said.

	Yakumo smiled a little.  "That's nice of you."

	"Well, you are my girlfriend," Harima said.  "And you 
work so hard for me as my assistant too." 

	She could tell he wasn't enthusiastic about doing the 
laundry, but most people never were.  But it made her 
happy that he would do this for her without even being 
asked.  And he seemed to be doing a good job, 
although...why was Sagano standing on the washing 
machine?

	He seemed to lighten up as she came over to him and 
hugged him.  "Thank you," she said.  "And thank you too, 
sempai."

	"Gotta encourage guys to learn this stuff as I know I'm 
not gonna be a good little domestic housewife," Sagano 
said.  "Hmm, I should train Fuyuki some time."

	"Sempai, why are you standing on the washing 
machine?" Yakumo asked softly.

	"Doesn't everyone?" she asked.

	Yakumo didn't know how to respond to that, so she 
leaned against Harima.  "I guess I'll go judge the cooking 
contest, then."

	"Let us know when it's time to eat," Harima said.  "All 
this work makes me hungry."

	Yakumo gave him a final squeeze, then nodded.  "I 
will."  She then headed back to wait for the food to be 
ready.

***************
	
	Mikoto paused to take a call, then asked, "Hey, does 
anyone remember the name of that guy?"

	"Uh, what guy?" Eri asked.  She was studying the 
board, trying to decide if she would want to buy insurance 
on her fourth Porsche or not.  The kids needed their own 
cars, really...

	"Uh, that guy, you know," Mikoto said quickly, then 
whispered into her phone.  "With the nose."

	"It has to be said that, in fact, every man in our class 
has a nose," Akira said.  She was contemplating whether to 
arm her son with an uzi or twin pistols.  Or maybe twin 
MAC-10s...yes, that was best. 

	"Tanaka-san's friend," Mikoto said.  "He's in the 
Video Club too, I think."
	
	"Oh, the guy with the big nose," Eri said.  "Bishimaya, 
right?"

	"Could be," Mikoto said, passing it on.  "You want to 
venture a guess, Akira?"

	"Tell her to call me if that doesn't work," Akira said.  

	Mikoto passed it on, chatted briefly, then hung up.  
"That was Nagayama."

	"Isn't she dating Tanaka?  I'd think she'd see 
Bishimaya all the time," Eri said.

	"Hmm...true," Mikoto said.  "Well, not our problem.  
Akira, your turn."

	"I'm still parsing gun capabilities.  I'll take a pass so I 
can still buy arms on my next turn," Akira said.

	"Can you pass?" Eri asked.

	"Why not?," Mikoto said.  "Game on!"

***************

	Ishiyama sat in the lounge with Tanaka, waiting for 
the girls.  He was going to try and show off on the slopes, 
try to impress her.  He had a good feeling about this.

	Then he heard whispering behind him.  "What's his 
name again?"  It was Rinko, whispering to Nagayama.

	Ishiyama ground his teeth as Nagayama whispered 
back, "Bishimaya."

	"Bishimaya-san, I hope you feel better," Rinko asked, 
worried.  

	Ishiyama decided it wasn't worth fighting over and he 
made himself smile.  "I'm okay.  I hope I didn't scare you 
too much."

	"No, I'm fine...Bishimaya-san," she said.  "Do you 
mind if I call you Bishi?  It's hard for me to remember your 
whole name," Rinko said.

	Nagayama smiled benevolently in the background.

	Tanaka started to speak, but Ishiyama said, "That's 
fine."  It wasn't his name, but having a cute nickname was a 
good step towards a relationship, right?  If nothing else, at 
least it was better than being 'the other guy' or 'that guy 
over there' or 'Tanaka's friend with the nose'.  

	"You sure?" Tanaka asked.  

	"It's fine with me," Ishiyama said.

	"Okay, Bishi-san.  Let's ski!", Nagayama said 
excitedly.

	Well, it would be okay if it was just cute girls doing it.

	"Yeah, Bishi-san, let's rumble," Tanaka said, grinning 
a little.

	Or maybe I'm completely doomed, Ishiyama thought.

*************

	Hanai walked into the lodge.  "What's that?"

	"I smell a lot of food," Keiichi said.

	"Must be dinner; it's about time," Kasumi said.  "Let's 
eat."

	They headed to the kitchen and dining room and found 
the cooking contest in progress with Harry, Nara, and 
Yakumo testing out food items.

	"Is this all for dinner?" Hanai asked in surprise.

	"Yeah, we'll have lots of leftovers," Tenma said.

	Harry sipped Tenma's clam chowder and his eyes 
crossed.  "What the...this tastes like candy."

	"Well, 'white pepper' and 'sugar' are the same thing, 
right?" Tenma asked.

	"..."

	Nara sweatdropped.

	"I like candy," Miki said, taking a sip.  Her eyes 
crossed.  "But maybe not that much."

	"Onee-chan, they're not the same at all," Yakumo said.

	Tenma deflated a bit.  

	"I need to teach you about spices," Yakumo said, 
moving on to test the salad; she nodded approvingly.

	"Anyone seen Mikoto?" Hanai asked.

	"I think she's going to eat over at Eri's," Tenma said.

	"Okay," he said, then sat down to wait for a winner.

	After much sampling, the judges conferred.  Harry 
now pronounced the awards.  "Best dessert to Tenma, best 
salad to Sagano, best vegetables to Yuuki, least 
recognizable thing to Lala..."

	"Clam chowder is not a dessert!," Tenma protested.

	"BURRITOS!" Lala bellowed crankily.

	"And best meat to Karen," Harry finished.

	"Burritos have meat in them," Lala grumbled.

	"Maybe by some definitions of meat," Harry said.

	"I defy you to do better!" Lala said, pointing at Harry.

	"I'd rather leave the cooking to my cute girlfriend," 
Harry said.

	Karen smiled a little, while Lala scowled.  "So you're 
too stupid to cook, that's what you're saying."

	"I am not too stupid to cook," Harry said, frowning.

	"Cook something!  Anything!"

	Harry started forward.  "Fine, I will."

	"And microwaved ramen doesn't count," Lala said.

	Harry paused and Fuyuki snickered.

	"I bet you can't cook!" Harry said, pointing at Fuyuki.

	"I can cook better than you!" Fuyuki said.

	"Prove it!"

	Soon, all the men were at work.  Yakumo prayed 
everything would keep, as they were likely about to end up 
cooking every ingredient in the house.

*************

	The day had gone well for Ishimaya, even if he hadn't 
actually achieved his goal of romance.  But at least Rinko 
didn't forget his incorrect name all day long.  
Consistency...memory...that was something, right?

	It was only as they were having shrimp and trout and 
noodles and fried vegetables for dinner that something hit 
him.  When Rinko and Nagayama went to the bathroom, he 
said to Tanaka.  "Umm...what's her family name?"

	"Isn't Rinko her family name?" Tanaka asked.

	"It's a girl's name.  You can't have a family name that 
ends with '-ko', can you?" Ishiyama asked.

	"Well...but everyone calls her Rinko," Tanaka said.  
"Isn't that...Well, maybe everyone's being overfamiliar."  
He frowned, confused.  "But I don't know how to bring it 
up without maybe embarrassing her."

	"Well, there has to be some way to find out," Ishiyama 
said.  "But I guess she is happy to be called Rinko, so no 
big rush."

	"Or is too polite to say anything," Tanaka said.  
"That's our national pasttime, I think."

	Ishiyama frowned, worried now.  "Hmm."  Well, this 
would require some thinking to find a clever way to learn 
the rest of her name...

	But for now, he'd just enjoy being around her.  

*************

	Eri dug into her bowl of beef ramen.  It wasn't fancy, 
but it was tasty.  They'd finished Grand Theft Life, and now 
were going to play Trivial Pursuit.  Once they ate, anyway.  

	"You cook well," Akira said to Mikoto.

	"Thanks," she said.  "It's nothing fancy."

	"After all the fancy food of the last few days, I'm fine 
with this," Eri said.  "I just wish Tenma was here."

	"We can have a sleepover with everyone tomorrow, 
maybe," Mikoto said.  "But she's busy with that contest 
they're having over at the other lodge."

	Akira ate slowly and quietly, watching the other two 
talk, letting her mind drift.

	Eri twirled her bracelets around her wrist thoughtfully; 
they were the ones Harima had given her.  "I suppose it's 
obligatory for us to argue now about whose boyfriend is 
best looking."

	Mikoto grinned.  "Haruki, of course.  He makes even 
glasses look good.  And his body is so well developed."

	"Well, my Kenji is even STRONGER than Haruki, 
and I've seen how well muscled he is all over," Eri said 
braggingly.  

	"Saw it by accident," Akira pointed out.

	Eri grumbled into her food.

	"I don't like facial hair.  He'd go up a few notches if 
he'd stay clean shaven," Mikoto said.

	"I think it adds character," Akira said.  "However, my 
boyfriend is clearly the most handsome."

	"Oh come on," Mikoto said.  "Nara's a nice guy, but 
he's the living incarnation of physical blandness."

	Well, this should set off amusing fireworks, Otoko-Eri 
said to her.

	I don't want fireworks!  Well, not too bad of 
fireworks, Eri told him.  

	"He's very handsome," Akira said firmly, as if 
correcting a confused child.

	"He's got less muscles than you," Mikoto said.

	"Strength is not everything.  You can't hurt what you 
can't hit," Akira said a little stiffly.

	Eri said hastily, "Well, really, we all think our 
boyfriend is the best, so arguing this is probably a waste of 
time."

	"You started it," Mikoto said, pouting a little.

	"You are wise," Akira said to Eri.  "Now if you could 
only just say to Kenji you're his girlfriend when anyone is 
watching..."

	"I...he knows," Eri said stubbornly.

	"Which is, of course, why Yakumo is in his bed every 
night," Akira said.  "Acting as your deputy, no doubt."

	Eri winced.  "They aren't...you know."  Right?  Right?

	I think if he slept with her, he'd either break up with 
you or do his best to balance it between you, probably 
following some arcane formula Tenma created, Otoko-Eri 
said.  

	"I know," Akira said.  "Neither of them is bold enough 
to start anything.  Yakumo lets others take the initiative and 
Kenji is much better at fantasizing than at taking the 
romantic initiative."

	"Well, I'm not going to pretend I understand his 
romantic thinking at all," Mikoto said.  

	"Or Tenma's," Eri said.

	"We really need to do something about this were-
lesbian delusion of hers," Mikoto said.  "Before it gets her 
in trouble."

	"I have no idea what to do," Eri said.

	Akira opened her mouth.

	"And pretending we're all were-lesbians is right out," 
Eri said.

	Akira shut her mouth.

	"So...when are you going to confess properly?" 
Mikoto asked Eri.

	"New topic," Eri said firmly.

	"When we trick her into it," Akira said.

	"Oooh, got an idea?"

	"GUYS!!!"  Eri said.

	"Gals, technically," Akira said.

	"You know what I mean," Eri grumbled.

	"Well, that's enough teasing to last us a few minutes.  
We should get started on Trivial Pursuit," Akira said.

	They got out the game and started it.

***********
	
	Yuuki and Sagano lay on the floor of the dining room 
with a lot of the others, too bloated to move.  "Too much 
good food," Yuuki mumbled.

	"Fuyuki, you have to drag me and Harima back to the 
laundry room to finish," Sagano said, staring at the ceiling 
as her boyfriend lay next to her.

	He said, "How do I keep Harima from killing me?"

	"He's too full to kill anyone."

	They now could hear Harima snoring.

	"See?" Sagano said.

	Fuyuki began dragging the two of them to the laundry 
room as Harima slept.  He seemed awfully heavy.

	Then Fuyuki saw this was because he had Yakumo 
asleep on him, angled across his body.  He tried to pry her 
loose and Harima's arm came around and whacked him 
back.

	The things I do for love, Fuyuki grumbled to himself.  
"Yuuki, I need your help."

	"Can't...move...," Yuuki moaned.

	"Talking like Shatner won't save you," Fuyuki said.

	Yuuki finally got up, stumbled over, and began 
dragging Sagano, letting Fuyuki focus on Harima.  They 
finally dumped the three in the laundry room, then 
stumbled off to sit down in a corner of the dining room; 
Yuuki planted herself in his lap.

	"People may notice," he whispered.

	"They're too wasted to notice," Yuuki whispered.  
"And I can always pretend I mistook you for Hanai."

	He gave up and put his arms around her.  I seem to 
end up with all the stubborn women, he thought.  But he 
smiled as she leaned back against him.  "So did you like my 
hamburgers?" he asked.

	"Yes," she said softly.  "Can you cook anything else?"

	"Do sandwiches and riceballs count?  Not much else," 
he said softly.

	"Well, you'll have to learn," Yuuki said.  "I don't think 
Sagano or I wants to be a housewife."

	"I hadn't thought that far ahead," he mumbled.  "Also, 
has Sagano picked any career beyond rock star?"

	"With the contract we're getting, maybe none of us 
will need to," Yuuki said.  "But we can't count on it.  Most 
bands only last one or two albums, then their heads get so 
big they can't all fit in the same room."  She sighed.  "I 
hope that doesn't happen to us."

	"Well, Megumi's the one I'd worry the most about 
there," he said, sighing.  "I love her, but she's SO flakey."

	"Yeah," Yuuki said.  "Only my mother thinks she's 
sensible."

	"She thinks Megumi is SENSIBLE?", Fuyuki asked.

	"It scares me too," Yuuki said.  "Mother doesn't trust 
you.  I'm sure she'll come around, though."

	"Well, I'm not always the most trustworthy," he said, 
sighing.  "Though I'm trying to clean up my act," he 
continued.  "I hope you and Hanai working together isn't 
going to be too messy."

	"I'm over him now," Yuuki said.  "And I think he'll be 
relieved by that.  So we'll be fine.  I'm way more worried 
about my parents crucifying us all than that.  And maybe a 
little worried Mai will go crazy again.  Especially with 
Tougo influencing her."

	"Yeah, from what Tanaka told me, Mai went 
completely nuts while we were gone," Fuyuki said.  "I kind 
of envy that they got to go to Hawaii, though.  They must 
be having a grand time."

	"Yeah, I'm kind of envious too," Yuuki said.  "But this 
has been fun, right?"

	"It's been awesome," Fuyuki said.  "I don't know how 
we'll top it next year."

	Yuuki yawned and began to drowse.  "We'll think of 
something."

	"I hope so," he said, and drifted off to sleep as well.

**************

	Ishiyama studied his hand.  Three spades (Jack high), 
five hearts, two diamonds, four clubs.  He'd managed to get 
Tanaka to rig the random partner selection so he could be 
Rinko's partner.  That way Tanaka wouldn't show his 
annoying tendency to throw card games if his girlfriend 
wasn't his partner (in order to avoid making his girlfriend 
lose) and he'd get to partner with Rinko, hopefully showing 
off his mad skills at cards to her.  

	It seemed to be going well so far; he and Rinko had 
won three games in a row which clearly pleased her.  Even 
with Tanaka playing at full skill.  Nagayama looked a little 
frustrated.

	Tanaka said, "Toki-san, I'm going to get us some 
snacks and desserts.  Can you help me with it?"

	She blinked.  "Okay, Kazuya-san."  She waggled a 
finger at the other two.  "Don't cheat while we're gone!"  
She was clearly just teasing, though.

	Rinko watched them go, then said quietly, "I'm so 
jealous."

	"You don't...I mean...," Ishiyama tried to figure out 
how to say it.

	"Oh, no, not like that.  Just a kind of general envy of 
them being such a cute couple," Rinko said, sighing.  
"There's this guy I like, but I can't figure out how to get his 
attention."

	Ishiyama felt his skin crawl.  This could be her way of 
sort of hinting she liked him, but probably meant that she 
was about to confess that she was in love with someone 
else.  NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
	
	"I probably shouldn't tell you, Bishi-san, but you're so 
easy to talk to.  I just kind of freeze up with most guys."  
She looked up at him and smiled a winning smile that made 
his heart jump, even as part of it prepared to slam into a 
wall.

	"You see, I just can't get Yoshiyadama out of my 
head," she said.  

	"Yoshidayama," he mumbled, trying to stave off the 
giant gaping pit of despair opening before him.

	"Yosh...Yoshidayama?" she asked.

	"Yes," he mumbled.  "If you mean the guy with the 
big hair in our class."  He stared into his mostly empty 
glass of tea; it gazed back with the coldness of the Abyss.

	"He's just so cool," she said, eyes sparkling.  "And I 
love his hair."

	Ishiyama toppled on the verge of the pit, trying to find 
something, some reason not to just plunge into 
hopelessness.  Anyone obsessed with Yoshidayama could 
never like him.  

	"I know you and he are in the Video Club together.  
He's not seeing anyone, is he?"  Rinko asked hopefully.

	Ishiyama teetered, then thought about what he'd seen 
Yoshidayama doing.  "He seems to have a thing for this 
American college student; the big busty type, you know."  
He could have tried to put it more gently, but this was his 
best hope for diverting her from that fool who would only 
treat her badly anyway.  

	Now he could see he'd plunged her into the pit of 
despair, and he felt terrible about it.  He struggled to find 
something to say to cheer her up.  

	But then her head came up with a light in her eyes.  
"They're not official, are they?"

	"No," he said.

	"Then I still have a chance!  Where there is life, there 
is hope!" she proclaimed.

	Her enthusiasm filled him, as he realized HE still had 
a chance too.  After all, just because she had a fascination 
with Yoshidayama...surely once she got to know him 
better, he'd turn her off him.  The man had an impressive 
mastery of porn lore, but was otherwise useless.

	I shouldn't give up!  That's why I never get a 
girlfriend!  I will fight to the last ditch!  Thank you, Rinko, 
he thought.

	"Do you think...could you help me with this, please?  I 
know I'm asking a big favor, and we hardly know each 
other, but you're such a nice guy and it's just...I can hardly 
believe I've told you all this.  I haven't even told 
Nagayama-san, yet."  She looked a little embarrassed.

	He held out a hand.  "Of course I'll help you.  We're 
friends, right?"

	She took it, smiling shyly.  "Thank you, Bishi-san."  

	They smiled brightly at each other.

	Around the corner, Nagayama and Tanaka peeked into 
the room, spying on them.  "Holy...they're holding 
hands...oop, let go.  But look at those goofy smiles.  I think 
we hit paydirt," Tanaka whispered.

	"I knew she had a thing for some guy, but I see you 
guessed right," Nagayama said to Tanaka, taking his hand 
and squeezing it.  "But is it really necessary to throw the 
games for their sake?"

	"Working as a team builds a bond," Tanaka 
whispered.  "I don't like throwing games, but this is about 
helping them.  We can crush them later, once they're solid."

	"We should press them harder, next game.  Just to 
help them build that bond of joint struggle," Nagayama 
whispered.

	"Okay, I'll lower my overbidding some, then," he said.  
"We'd better come back now or they'll worry.  You've got 
the donuts, right?"
	
	"Armed and ready," she said.

	He smiled.  "Good."  Everything was going according 
to plan.  
	
**************

	Sagano shook Harima awake.  "Rise, rise, oh form of 
man!  Become the laundryman!"

	Harima groaned and sat up.  "What the hell?"

	Yakumo slid down his body and woke up.  "Urghle," 
she mumbled.

	"Yakumo, you can go nap," Sagano said. "Team 
Laundry will be taking off at the speed of light!"

	"You...you're firing the laundry into space?" Yakumo 
asked in confusion.

	"..."

	Harima helped Yakumo up.  "You can go do whatever 
you want.  We'll take care of it."

	"The kitchen needs cleaning...," Yakumo said.

	"Let the cooks clean it," Harima said.  "You can go 
enjoy yourself."

	Yakumo said, "Thank you," and hugged Harima 
silently, then went out, picking her way through the strewn 
bodies, carefully tugging everyone into positions where 
they wouldn't strain something in their sleep.  

	But what to do...well, I should catch up on the manga, 
she thought.  That would keep her busy.  So she went to 
work.

**************

	Akira crushed everyone at Trivial Pursuit, as they 
really should have expected.  So they all started getting 
ready for bed.  Mikoto and Akira were trying to untangle 
Eri's hair, which had gotten all messy from her rolling 
about on it during the games.

	"Oww!" Eri yelped.

	"Sorry," Mikoto said.  "So what's next in the Fiancee 
competition?  How can we help you?"

	"You can help me by helping Kenji.  He means well, 
but he knows NOTHING about business," Eri said, 
grimacing again as Akira tugged a lock.  "Though I think 
Mom may be hiring some people to try and balance things 
out."

	"Hmm, professionals.  A good test of my skills," Akira 
said.  

	"I know you two won't fail me," Eri said.  "And if you 
do...I will kill you."

	Mikoto laughed.  "Good luck on that.  You couldn't 
take either of us if we closed our eyes."

	"Hey, I've studied martial arts too," Eri said.  "I can so 
kick your ass if I have to."

	Mikoto began to laugh.

	"She even sounds like Harima," Akira said dryly.

	"I do not," Eri said.

	"You just swear like him," Mikoto said.

	"He really doesn't swear that much," Eri protested.  
"Even if he does talk too much like a thug.  His mentor has 
really clean language, too."

	"Mentor?" Mikoto asked.

	"I met his delinquency mentor, Haruka," Eri said.  
"He's pretty damn cool."  She put a hand over her mouth.

	"Let it all out," Mikoto said.  "You must be exhausted 
from having to be so proper."  She grinned a little.

	"Yes," Eri said.  "I am utterly worn out from it all."  
She gave a tired sigh.

	Mikoto stretched.  "Well, we'll sleep soundly tonight."

	"The sleep of the just," Akira said.

	Eri smiled, only in part because they finally finished 
with her hair so it no longer hurt.  But mainly because it felt 
so good to be alone with her close friends and nothing to 
worry about for a little while.  

	She soon slept a deep and peaceful sleep.

****************

	Yakumo finished the last page which Kenji had 
scripted, carefully filling in the dialogue once it was inked.  
But now what?

	It was too late for skiing, everyone had eaten too much 
and passed out, Sara-chan was probably in bed...

	She sighed.  Maybe her sister would be up...or 
something.  

	Wandering the halls produced a large amount of 
finding people asleep; she took some time throwing 
blankets over those passed out in the main lodge room and 
stoking up the fire.  Then she headed to the laundry room.  

	She could hear them talking as she approached.  "It's 
got to be reciprocal," Sagano said.  "Lots of stuff may not 
be fun for you, but will be fun for her.  And vice versa.  I'm 
still training Fuyuki on some of that.  And vice versa, I 
guess."  She sounded a little embarrassed.

	Yakumo told herself not to spy, even as she put her ear 
to the door.

	"I've tried to be fair, but it's not easy," Harima said to 
Sagano.

	"Best things in life never are," Sagano said.  "I know I 
screw up all the time, but I just kind of fumble along, and 
they know I mean well."

	"They?" Harima asked.

	"I...uh...I meant...we.  He and I...us...err...ahahaha," 
she laughed nervously.

	Yakumo glanced back at Fuyuki and Yuuki, clonked 
out next to each other and her brain clicked for a moment.

	"I'm still confused," Harima confessed.

	"Don't worry about it," Sagano said.  "You can make 
love to me up here on the washing machine to make up for 
it."

	Yakumo froze up and her head bumped against the 
door.

	"I thought so!  There's a spy!  Hello, spy, want to 
come in and say hello?" Sagano asked.

	"You..." Harima said nervously.

	"Oh, I just said that to make our spy expose him or 
herself," Sagano said.  "I'm faithful to my boyfriend!  
Hello, spy, come on in!"

	Yakumo fled in a panic, once more resolving that she 
REALLY should never spy again.

**************	

	Finally, the laundry was done.  Harima delivered it to 
all the mostly empty rooms, then stumbled off to his 
bedroom.  He found Yakumo already asleep.  

	That was fine with him; he tumbled into bed and 
passed out.

***************

	Mikoto was blissfully dreaming about being in the 
final match of a national martial arts tournament, when 
suddenly, a huge hippo fell from the sky and crushed her.

	She woke up to find Eri had fallen off her bed onto 
Mikoto's futon, and now was cuddling up to her.  "Oh, 
Kenji, kiss me again," she said breathlessly in her sleep.

	Mikoto attempted to pry her loose, but Eri began 
clinging tighter.  "Stop it, Imadori-san, you idiot," she 
mumbled.

	Mikoto tried to avoid thrashing too much, for fear of 
waking up Akira.  So prying Eri off herself was rather like 
prying off a snake.  

	She'd managed to get Eri's legs loose, if not the arms 
and was all twisted around, when the flash went off.

	Akira was not just awake, but taking pictures.  

	"No pictures!" Mikoto said frantically.

	"Mmm, Kenji, your hands feel so nice," Eri mumbled 
in her sleep, then began stroking Mikoto's back with her 
own.

	Mikoto was ready to vibrate through the wall as if she 
was the Flash.  "Akira, help me get her off," she said.

	Akira put her hand over her mouth, muffling some sort 
of noise.

	"That's not what I meant!"

	"But Kenji, it's much softer on the bed," Eri mumbled.

	Mikoto finally, desperate, gave Eri a quick thwack to 
the butt with the flat of her hand.

	Eri jolted, then suddenly woke up, face to face with 
Mikoto, tangled around her.

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Eri yelled in a 
panic.  She flailed, and they crashed into Akira, who 
dropped her camera.

	Soon, the door flew open; Eri's parents, several 
security men, Imadori, Lala, Karen, and Harry were all 
there, staring at the three tangled together.

	"There's a simple logical explanation for this," Eri 
mumbled.

	"The curse of were-lesbianism," Akira said, then 
immediately regretted it as her brain tried to kick in.  
Practical joke instincts are not easily overcome, however.

	"Akira!!!!!"

	"Well, I see," Eri's mother said.  "You're all 
'girlfriends'."  If Eri had been less tired, she would have 
probably noticed the lightness of her mother's tone.

	"I...no!  I'm not...we're not...Mikoto-chan, tell them 
we're not like that!"  Eri turned and stared intently at 
Mikoto.

	"It would probably be more convincing if you weren't 
all over me," Mikoto mumbled.

	"Well, I don't mind," Imadori said.  "The intimacy of a 
fiancee's friendships must be respected."

	"You're very cosmopolitan," Mrs. Sawachika said to 
him approvingly.

	Henry held a hand over his mouth for some reason.

	Karen mumbled something incoherent, possibly 
involving Lala.

	Lala mumbled as well.

	"Hot," Harry said, then got accidentally squeezed by 
Karen to the point of inability to further speak.  Then she 
accidentally put him in a sleeper hold.  He accidentally 
passed out.

	"It's not...I'm not...," Eri babbled.

	"Still crushing me," Mikoto pointed out.

	Eri sprang up onto the bed.  "I'm not doing anything!  
I'm just...I just fell on Mikoto in my sleep!"

	"Just don't accidentally fall on Harima or Tsukamoto 
in your sleep," her mother said, yawning.  "Though I 
suppose if you fell on Kyousuke too, it would be fair."

	"You may fall out of bed onto me any time," Imadori 
said graciously.

	Harry tried to speak and Karen finished him off.

	"I...forget it," Eri said.  "I'm sorry I woke everyone 
up."

	"We're leaving in the morning," Mrs. Sawachika said.  
"See you at breakfast first, dear."

	Then everyone left.

	Eri collapsed on her bed.  "I'm really sorry, Mikoto.  I 
thought..."

	"You were with Kenji," Mikoto said.  "I know.  Akira-
chan, you didn't get hurt, did you?"

	"No, I'm fine," Akira said.  "The pictures were worth 
it."

	"I hope everyone doesn't...get crazy ideas," Eri said 
nervously.  

	"They're just joking," Mikoto said.  She hoped.

	"It's the curse of were-lesbianism, clearly," Akira said.

	"Even if there was such a thing, and there is NOT," 
Eri said firmly, "Neither Tenma nor Yakumo ever bit me."

	"Kissing could also exchange the fluids for infection, 
and you kissed Yakumo a lot, as a boy," Akira pointed out.

	"There is no such thing as were-lesbianism," Eri 
muttered.  "That was just because I was a boy and that's 
all."

	She was very kissable, Otoko-Eri pointed out.  Eri 
ignored him studiously.

	"Exactly," Mikoto said.  "Or I'd be kissing Miki."

	Akira and Eri looked at her curiously.

	"And I'm not!  Or Masahiro-kun!  Or anyone but 
Haruki-kun!" Mikoto said hastily.

	"Were-lesbianism, it's everywhere," Akira said sagely.

	Mikoto flopped down on her futon.  "I'm going to 
sleep."

	"C'mon, after you all teased me," Eri began.

	"Just try to not fall on me again," Mikoto mumbled.

	"If you have trouble sleeping," Akira said, "I 
recommend counting penguins.  It's very soothing."

	"Penguins," Eri said thoughtfully.  "Sure, why not."

	She laid back and imagined herself and Akira in 
penguin costumes, leading a flock of penguins across the 
Antarctic.  One penguin, two penguins, three penguins, four 
penguins...

	The march of the penguins gradually soothed Eri back 
to sleep.  

*****************
	
	Karen woke up, hearing Lala mumbling to herself in 
Spanish next to her.  

	"Can't sleep?" she asked softly.

	"Trying to decide how crazy I am," Lala said softly.

	"Not that crazy," Karen said.

	"You don't even know what I'm thinking of," Lala said 
firmly.

	"You're thinking about the offer from Nara's parents," 
Karen said.

	"...," Lala stared in shock.

	"It was that or you trying to break in and steal Hanai 
and take him to Mexico with you," Karen said, staring at 
the ceiling.

	"..."

	Karen giggled slightly.  

"I really shouldn't put myself in the middle of another 
mess," Lala said.

 	"It really wouldn't be wise, no," Karen said.

	Lala sighed. "I need a normal boyfriend."

	"Well, there's lots of guys in your class and mine 
who...," Karen began.

	"The only good ones are taken," Lala mumbled.

	"I'm sorry," Karen said softly.

	"Much better you date Harry than that wretch, 
Imadori," Lala said firmly.

	"I wish I could help you," Karen said, sighing.

	"Well, I have to decide this for myself," Lala said.  
"Though you can keep an eye open for any nice guys."

	"Okay," Karen said.  "Have you heard from your 
dad?"

	"No," she said.  "But he's with Hanai's father, who 
while he is evil, it will amuse him to keep my father alive 
to make trouble for Haruki."  Lala grimaced.  "And despite 
being evil, he is a good influence on my father, somehow."

	"That's strange," Karen said.

	"I know, but at least Papa seems happier than I've seen 
him be in quite a while."  She sighed.  "Well, I should 
sleep."

	Karen nodded.  "Goodnight, Lala."

	"Goodnight, Karen."

	And they drifted off to sleep.

*****************

	Harima woke up with Yakumo laying awake next to 
him, her head on his chest.  "Kenji," she said softly.

	"Uh huh?  What gets you up early?" he asked.  

	The sun was shining in the window, which he'd 
forgotten to draw the curtains shut to block.  

	"You're going to art school, right?"

	"That's the plan," he said, stroking her hair slowly.

	She smiled a little, then said, "Maybe I should too, so I 
can be a better assistant."

	"That's up to you," he said.  "You could do something 
else and also take some art classes, if there's something else 
you want to do too."

	"I want to help you," she said, idly tugging the sheets 
about with one hand.  "But Sara and I want to go to college 
together too."

	"That's fine with me," Harima said.  "Just pick one 
near where I go to school.  They tend to clump together, 
right?"

	She wasn't sure.  "And I'm worried about nee-chan."

	"She didn't food-poison herself, did she?" Harima 
asked, worried.

	"No, I mean, out on her own.  She..."  Yakumo 
couldn't bring herself to criticize her big sister.  Not openly.  
Inside her head, she could see the problems.

	"She'll have Karasuma to take care of her," Harima 
said, somewhat grudgingly.  "Assuming he doesn't trade 
her for curry."

	"Can he cook?" Yakumo asked hesitantly.

	"Probably just curry.  They'll alternate between curry 
and her cooking, maybe," Harima said.  Which might well 
kill Tenma after a few months.  That wouldn't work!

	"And...you both graduate ahead of Sara and 
Tawaraya-san and I," Yakumo said.

	"Well, I'll need your help to keep up on the manga, so 
I'll need a school close enough to commute from home," 
Harima said.  "There's lots of schools around here."

	"Lots of art schools?" Yakumo asked, fretting.

	"I don't know."  He twined a lock of her hair around 
one finger.  "You worried about everyone scattering once 
we all start graduating?"

	"I...yes," she said softly.

	"I hadn't even thought about it," he said.  "I've spent 
most of my life more or less on my own...I hardly had 
anyone to be separated from," Harima said thoughtfully.  
"I'd hate to have to move away from you and Tenma-chan, 
though."

	Yakumo said, "Me too," hugging him tightly.

	He hugged her gently.  It was true, he had to think 
about the future.  Like his MASSIVE debt.  Ugh, how 
would he pay for college with all that?  Though there was 
his pay from his manga, which would help some, especially 
once it got merchandized.  Which reminded him, he needed 
to get Akira to talk to Dankosha about it.  She and Yakumo 
working together could probably get a really sweet deal.

	"I'm sure we'll work things out.  What are Tenma's 
plans?"

	"I don't know," Yakumo said.  "Hopefully not being a 
housewife, or it'll be a disaster."  Her eyes widened and she 
put a hand over her mouth.  

	Harima stared at her, then sighed.  "You're right."

	"I didn't mean...I'm sure she'll be a very kind and 
loving wife and...," Yakumo felt terribly guilty about bad-
mouthing her sister.

	"Tenma-chan is full of love, enough for a dozen 
husbands, if she wanted that many," Harima said softly.  
"But we both know she isn't good at domestic things."

	"Oh, thank you for doing the laundry," Yakumo said, 
smiling a little.  "It's so much more than I'm used to."

	"It's not your job to do the other people's laundry," 
Harima said.  "But I was glad to help you."

	There was a knock on the door.  "You all getting up 
for breakfast?" Kasumi asked.

	"Is there anything left to eat?" Harima asked.

	"It's leftover breakfast day," Kasumi said.

	"Yeah, I'm hungry," Kenji said, sitting up.

	Yakumo didn't want to get up now, but she couldn't 
delay any longer.  It was just nice being there with just the 
two of them and no pressures.  She decided she'd go talk to 
Karasuma about his plans today.

**************
	
	Time was a wastin' for Yoshidayama's plans to win 
Jenny for himself.  Not that he had quite figured out what 
they were.  

	Also, he was feeling groggy from sleeping poorly; 
he'd had nightmares of some woman trying to steal his hair 
while some guy attacked him with desks.  It made no sense 
at all, which annoyed him.  If you have to get groggy from 
dreams, they should at least be prophetic.

	Of course, everyone DID envy his fine head of hair.  
And it was probably Keiichi with the desks...

	Okay, ensure Jenny sees my hair and Keiichi has no 
desks, Yoshidayama thought.  I can handle that.

**************

	Akira and Mikoto walked together, heading back to 
get Tenma and to go take showers and change clothing.  
Then the four of them would spend the rest of the day 
together (the fourth being Eri, of course, once she finished 
saying goodbye to her parents, who were taking off again).  

	Mikoto could tell Akira wanted to talk about 
something from the way Akira kept opening her mouth, 
making a little noise, then shutting it.  But she didn't pry, 
though she was feeling rising curiosity.

	Finally, as they headed up a slope, Akira stopped, 
leaned against a tree, and asked, "You're pretty emotional, 
right?"

	Mikoto blinked.  "I suppose so, though I'm not as 
spastic about it as some people.  I think I have a fairly even 
keel, most of the time, if not as much as you."

	"When you fight, how do you keep your emotions 
from getting in the way?" Akira asked, staring up at the 
sky.

	Mikoto leaned against another tree, facing Akira.  
"Well, sometimes it makes me stronger and sometimes 
not," she said to Akira.  She thought about fighting the 
Monks of the White Lotus, then explained that whole fight.

	"So there, emotion got in my way.  But at the same 
time, emotion gives you more power.  You fight harder 
when your heart is in it.  Spirit won't win a fight by itself, 
but the combination of spirit and skill is very powerful," 
Mikoto said.

	"Unless it leads you to...mmm."  Akira continued to 
watch the clouds. 

	"Yeah," Mikoto said.  "Exactly.  So why do you ask?"

	"Just thinking," Akira said.  She looked at Mikoto 
again, then said, "We should head to the house before we 
get too cold."

	"Yeah," Mikoto said thoughtfully.  

	So they headed off to the house.

************
	
	Yakumo eventually tracked down Karasuma as he was 
about to head out to do some skiing while Tenma was off to 
Eri's lodge.  "Karasuma-san," she said.

	"Tsukamoto-san," he said.  

	They stood there and stared at each other in silence as 
Yakumo tried to gather her thoughts.  His mind was 
strange, like many tracks running in parallel, some full of 
very different thoughts, like the one where he was thinking 
about being a dog about to chase down an owl for his 
master.

	It was a little discombobulating.  But she eventually 
found her center and asked, "Sempai, do you have plans for 
the future?"

	"I'm going to ski a while, then perhaps work on our 
vacation homework," he said.

	"..."  Not quite what she meant.

	She focused herself again.  "I mean, with oneechan.  
College and...things."

	His face darkened a little, then he said, "I am not sure.  
I may be leaving the country at the end of this school year."

	Yakumo darkened a little.  "But what about 
oneechan?"

	"Maybe...she may be ready to go with me," he said.  
"But I am not sure yet."

	That's so soon, Yakumo thought nervously.  "But 
that's only a few months," she said.

	"I know," he said softly, staring off at the ground.

	"When will you know?" Yakumo asked.

	"I don't know," he said, continuing to inspect the floor.  
"Some of it is up to my parents."

	Yakumo nodded.  "I guess...I would be on my own, if 
oneechan goes with you."

	He looked up.  "You won't be alone.  Harima-san and 
Sara-san will stand by you."

	That made her feel a little better.  "Thank you," she 
said.

	Then Harima came up.  "Karasuma, our editor wants 
us to do that cover for him.  We...should...do..."  Each word 
came out slower than before.  

	"Oh," Karasuma said.  "If you are ready."

	"Yes," Harima said.  "I'm ready."

	"Do you need my help?" Yakumo asked softly.

	"Umm...I dunno.  Sure," Harima said.  Better her than 
Karasuma, she read from him.

	Yakumo smiled a little as she went with them.

***********

	"I'm ready!" Tenma said as Mikoto came up to her.  
She had a suitcase ready and everything; Mikoto was 
surprised by her efficiency.  

	"We're gonna have a TON of fun," Mikoto said.

	"Can I...," Tenma began.

	"No Karasuma," Mikoto said firmly.  "Just the four of 
us.  The guys can have their own party if they want to."

	Tenma looked off across the lodge thoughtfully.  "Do 
you want to invite Miki-san?" she asked thoughtfully.

	"What?" Mikoto said.  

	"I mean, you and she..."  Tenma laughed a little 
nervously.

	"Oh, we've seen each other all the time here, but the 
four of us haven't," Mikoto said.  

	"Okay," Tenma said, nodding.  "Let's go, then."

	They soon hooked up with Akira and headed back.

**************

	Miki came out of the bathroom, head very wet, but 
otherwise dressed.  

	Masahiro blinked. "Honey, why do you keep dousing 
your head in the sink?"

	"No reason," she said.  "Let's go ski!"

	"Are you sure...," he began.  

	"Skiing time," she said, taking him by the hand.  

	"But your head...," he said.

	"It will be fine," she said.

	"Okay," he said, but he had a very bad feeling about 
this.  He'd never been good at getting her to turn aside from 
bad choices, though.

*************

	Imadori was lazing about with Buddha and some of 
the other club members, watching Doujibirion Season 4, 
Episode 5, "Attack of Evil Science Ninja Team 
Gotmilkman".  It was not one of the better episodes, but 
you had to watch it in order to understand the origins of 
ESNT Gotmilkman.  

	The door opened and Mrs. Takano strode in.  "Ahh, 
excellent.  Time for us to get down to work, Imadori-san."

	"You're not here to shoot us again, are you?" Buddha 
asked warily.

	"No," Mrs. Takano said.  "Not unless you deserve it."

	Many of the club members looked nervous.

	"I'm on vacation," Imadori said. 

	"Do you wish to be crushed again by my daughter and 
Harima because they're already working on a clever plan 
and you are not?", Mrs. Takano asked, hands on her hips.

	"Also, I'd like an advisor with bigger breasts," Imadori 
said.  A second later, he realized this was really a hideously 
unwise thing to say.

	"Ahh, yes, time for some operant conditioning," Mrs. 
Takano said.  "I'm afraid I'm going to have to train you to 
never remark disparagingly about small breasts ever again."  
She drew one of her pistols.

	"AAAHHH!!!!!"  Imadori began running with her in 
pursuit.  

	Buddha got out a notebook and wrote 'avoid breast 
jokes for foreseeable future.'  This stood next to such 
notations as 'don't play poker with Tsukamoto Yakumo' and 
'avoid dating teachers despite what porn says'.

	Ishiyama now walked in with...a girl?  That stunned 
everyone enough that half of them couldn't even remember 
she was from their class.  "Is Yoshidayama here?"

	"He's gone looking for the blonde American girl, 
Harry's sister," Buddha said.  "I think."

	"Come on, Rinko, we'll resume the hunt elsewhere."

	She nodded.  "Okay, Bishi-san."

	Once they left, everyone said in unison, "Bishi-
san????"

	Then they went back to watching Doujibirion.

*************

	"I still say an action pose of them facing off is a good 
idea," Harima said.  "It's dynamic."  He wasn't entirely sure 
what that meant, but the assistant editor loved to say it.

	Yakumo nodded.

	"But they're tiny snow fairies who bring joy to little 
children," Karasuma pointed out.  "Tiny Snow Fairy Joy 
and Tiny Snow Fairy Prudence are not scrappers."

	"What does this have to do with blankets?" Harima 
asked.

	A three way round of silent staring at each other 
followed which would have killed a lesser man than 
Harima.  Instead, it simply brought him to the verge of 
sleep.

	There was a knock at the door.  

	Harima snapped awake.  "Who is it?"

	"Hanai and Nara," Hanai said.

	"Come in, I guess," Harima said.

	Hanai and Nara came in.  "I thought we should 
organize a man party, since the girls are having an all-girl 
party," Hanai said.

	"Well, we have to draw a cover before we can party," 
Harima said.

	"Have two lovers kissing," Nara suggested.

	"I'm thinking two people facing off, ready to battle, is 
best," Hanai said.

	"Hah!  I was right!," Harima said.

	"Kenji-kun," Yakumo said softly.

	Karasuma looked at her curiously.

	"See, we pose them like this...," Harima said, posing 
in front of Hanai, who got in a fighting stance.

	"And then the one guy punches like this," Hanai said, 
aiming a punch at Harima's head, trying to stop it just short.

	But at the same time, Harima was saying, "And the 
hero fairy aims a mighty punch at..."

	"They're both women," Karasuma pointed out.

	"Say what?" Harima said.  This threw him off and he 
ended up moving into Hanai's blow while he smacked 
Hanai in the head.

	"Sucker punch me will you?" Harima said.  "I'll show 
you that was a mistake!"  He leaped at Hanai.

	"No, wait...," Yakumo said weakly, flailing at them 
impotently.

	"Oh, you want some?  I'll show you which one of us is 
best!" Hanai proclaimed and leaped at Harima.

	Nara dove under the bed.

	As the two men beat each other up, Karasuma moved 
to one wall with his pad, pulling Yakumo over.  He had her 
begin sketching poses while he did likewise.  As the fight 
progressed, they soon had many different angled shots and 
poses of the two battlers.

	"Sempai, neither of them look like Tiny Snow Fairies, 
though," Yakumo pointed out as Harima kicked Hanai in 
the shoulder and got tossed.

	"Add wings," Karasuma said.

	This went on for quite some time.  

****************

	"Let's ski!" Miki said to her friends cheerfully.

	"Your head is wet and there's frost forming on you," 
Jenny said.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

	"Oh, I'm just...JENNY!"

	Jenny tucked Miki under one arm and dragged her 
towards the lodge.  "We'll be back soon, guys, ski without 
us."

	"Okay," Keiichi said.  "Be gentle, Jenny."

	"I am the very essence of gentle," Jenny said, 
squeezing Miki a bit more.

	She finally got Miki inside and took her to the 
bathroom, then got a towel and began drying her head.  
"Are you insane?  What the hell are you doing?"

	"Distracting myself," Miki mumbled.

	Jenny sighed.  "You gonna tell me from what?"  
Scrub, scrub, scrub.

	"I'd have to think about it," Miki said.

	You're crazier than me, Jenny thought and began 
blowdrying Miki's hair.  "Fine, but find a safer way," she 
said.

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki mumbled.

	"I'm not your mother," Jenny said.

	"Yes, ma'am," Miki mumbled again.

	This is gonna be one of those days, Jenny thought.

*************

	"We should have a contest," Tenma said to her friends 
as they got ready to ski.

	"A race in which we all wear penguin suits," Akira 
said.

	"We don't have enough penguin suits," Eri said.

	"I can change that," Akira said confidently.

	"We'll look silly," Eri protested.

	"Oooh, sounds fun to me," Tenma said.

	"Hell, why not," Mikoto said.  "It'll be interesting."  
Best to indulge Akira in something harmless now to 
prevent her looking for an even more 'interesting' way to 
spice things up, really.

	"I...but...fine, penguin suits it is," Eri mumbled.

	"Alright, give me a minute to call Mother," Akira said.  
"We can make a practice run while we wait."

	At least she can't race and film this, Eri thought, 
forgetting Akira's mother also had cameras.

***************
	
	Keiichi, Shinichi, Kasumi, and Masahiro were at the 
top of the slope, getting ready for another run, when 
Yoshidayama ambled up.  "Yo, where's Jenny?" he asked.

	"She's...," Kasumi began.

	"She went over to Sawachika's lodge," Keiichi said 
quickly.

	"Yeah," Shinichi said quickly.  "Something about 
visiting her brother, I think."

	"Oh," Yoshidayama said.  "Well, I'll go find her 
there," he said, then ambled off.

	Kasumi said, once he was gone, "It isn't nice to lie to 
people."

	"Not in the mood for that little shit today," Keiichi 
said angrily.  "With any luck, he'll get crushed flat by 
Harry."

**************

	"No, I haven't seen her," Harry said.  He and Karen 
were playing cards with Sagano and Yuuki.  

	Yoshidayama frowned.  "She didn't get lost, did she?"

	"I'll call her."

	She didn't answer.

	Harry frowned.  "Well, she may have had other things 
to do too.  Why don't you join us and we can call her again 
later?"

	That was reasonable, so Yoshidayama joined them, 
only worrying a little.

*************

	Jenny and Miki rejoined their friends.  Jenny peered 
across the valley to the opposite slopes.  "What the hell is 
going down those slopes?"  She pointed to four huge black 
ovalish things skiing.

	Keiichi peered intently.  "Giant penguins?"

	"..."  Miki stared mindlessly.

	"Best we pretend we see nothing before they somehow 
notice us and decide to take us to help them rule Antarctica 
or something," Masahiro mumbled.

	"Err..what the hell?" Jenny said to him.

	"Best we just ski and not think ever again," Miki said.  
"GO!"  She started down the slopes, and the others 
followed.

************

	WHAM, double knockout.  Harima and Hanai fell to 
the ground, unconscious.

	"Kenji!" Yakumo said, dropping her pad and hurrying 
over to him.

	Nara took his time crawling out to check on Hanai.

	They were both fine, so the two of them propped the 
two men up in chairs and came to check out Karasuma's 
drawing, which turned out to show Fairy Joy and Fairy 
Prudence jumping up and down on an unconscious Harima 
and Hanai.  

	"Wow, it's so real looking," Nara said, impressed.

	Yakumo nodded.  "But isn't Kenji supposed to draw 
part of it too?"

	Karasuma cocked his head, then studied it.  "Hmm, he 
can put some characters from his manga around the fringes, 
maybe?"

	Yakumo began sketching some suggestions.  

	"How about if I find us a fourth person for cards?" 
Nara suggested.  

	Karasuma nodded, so Nara went to find someone.

*************

	Jenny's phone rang again.  However, it was hanging 
out in her bedroom, so no one heard it.

	Out on the slopes, as she came back up, she found 
herself face to face with two teenagers she didn't know.  
Though the guy looked vaguely familar...had he been at the 
parties?

	Keiichi asked, "Are you looking for Hanai-san or 
Suou-san?"

	"No, we're looking for Yoshidayama-san," Ishiyama 
said.  "He's our classmate."

	"I think he went back to the other lodge," Shinichi 
said.  

	"Oh dear.  If we go back and he's come here again...," 
Rinko said fretfully.  "I'm not sure what to do, Bishi-san."  
She paused.  "Oh, I'm Rinko and this is Bishi-san."

	"Nice to meet you," Jenny said.  "You classmates of 
Yoshi-san?"

	"Yes," Ishiyama said.

	"Well, why don't you stay here and ski with us a 
while?," Kasumi asked.  "He's sure to come back 
eventually and have another pointless fight with Keiichi-
san."

	Keiichi grumbled.

	Rinko blinked.

	Ishiyama laughed.  "Sounds good to me.  You up for 
it, Rinko?"

	"You really think he'll come back?" she asked 
Kasumi.

	"I wouldn't swear by it, but he usually comes to hit on 
Jenny at least once a day," Kasumi said.  

	Rinko looked at Jenny thoughtfully.

	Jenny said, "He's a good kid, but too young for me."  
She glanced nervously at Keiichi.

	"Are you Jenny-san's boyfriend?" Rinko asked 
Keiichi.

	"Hell yes.  If that damn brat comes around here to hit 
on her again, I will bust his miserable ass," Keiichi said 
sourly.

	Rinko frowned, then smiled, then frowned, then 
smiled again.  It was a little wrenching to watch.  Finally, 
she said, "Sure, we can ski with you.  It'll be fun."

	"Alright," Jenny said.  "Let's go!"

************

	"Okay," Akira said, clad in a nice warm, clumsy 
penguin suit.  "We finished the practice run.  Everyone 
ready?"

	Eri laughed nervously.

	"I WILL BE THE KINGPIN!" Tenma shouted 
enthusiastically.

	"Ready as ever," Mikoto said.

	Mrs. Takano fired a shot into the air and they were off.

	Mikoto took an early lead with Tenma close behind 
her.  Akira ambled along in third, while a cautious Eri was 
frustrated in fourth.

	As Akira anticipated, however, when Mikoto hit a 
bump, she toppled over and began to roll, wiping out 
Tenma in a collision.

	Akira zipped around them and took the lead, while Eri 
now tried to catch up to her.

	For a while, they were neck and neck, roaring down 
the mountain between trees.

	Then Akira said, "Hey, Kenji came to watch."

	"Hey...WHAT?"  Eri panicked, looking around, then 
whacked her huge left flipper into a tree, spun off at an 
angle, and went flying over a small rise to then tumble 
down the mountain in her giant penguin costume.

	She could beat them at her own game, at least, which 
made Akira feel better as she reached the finish line with 
people tumbling down the mountain behind her.  But you 
didn't always get to pick the game.

	Emotion...

	She watched them all yell and flail wildly as they 
rolled down the mountain, and she envied them a little.  
Her friends were brave enough to show their emotions.  
And usually good enough not to lose control to them 
completely.  Why couldn't she be?  She wanted to know.

*************

	Yoshidayama suspected he'd been tricked somehow.  
Or else Jenny had run off to another planet.  But he didn't 
want to tromp around in the snow forever.  At least his card 
luck was good; he'd won six times in a row.  "I AM THE 
KING!," he crowed.

	"There you are," Imadori said.  "Come with me, 
Yoshidayama-san.  I need you."

	"Ooooh, yaoi," Sagano said, grinning.

	Imadori's eyes crossed, while Yoshidayama made 
gurgling noises.  "Do I have to?"

	"Come," Imadori said.  "It is time to begin planning 
the future.  Unless you like rubber bullets."  He rubbed his 
butt ruefully.

	"Fine, whatever," Yoshidayama grumbled.  "See ya, 
ladies."

	"Bye!" Sagano said cheerfully as Yoshidayama was 
dragged off.

************

	Hanai and Harima finally peeled themselves off the 
floor.  "Did someone suckerpunch us?" Harima asked.

	"Obviously," Hanai said.  

	"Here is the picture," Karasuma said.  It showed a line 
of characters from Harima's manga doing a conga line in 
the background of Fairy Joy and Fairy Prudence jumping 
up and down on an unconscious Harima and Hanai.  "How 
is this for the cover?"

	Harima stared.  How dare he make fun of me like this?  
IT IS UNFORGIVABLE!

	Hanai said, "We got suckerpunched by fairies?"

	"Oh, I think I know who is to blame!," Harima 
shouted, then charged at Karasuma, who tossed the picture 
to Yakumo.  Yakumo joined Nara under the bed while 
Harima and Karasuma went at it.

	"So where did these fairies come from?" Hanai asked 
Yakumo, kneeling down next to the bed.

	"The magical land of sugar and spice," Yakumo said.  
"I think."

	"Did they run away after defeating us?" Hanai asked.

	Nara felt an Akira-esque urge.  "They said you must 
train and grow stronger before you will be ready to face 
them."

	Yakumo blinked.  "But..."

	"They will return in the spring," Nara said.

	"Hmm, that gives us time to prepare," Hanai said 
thoughtfully.

	He sat down next to the bed, watching Karasuma parry 
and dodge Harima's blows.  "He's fast."

	"Yes," Yakumo mumbled.  It was strange, she could 
just barely feel his mind now, and what she did pick up was 
his interest in the fight and thoughts about how it would 
end.  Not that she minded him moving on from her.  
"Sempai, do you think you and Suou-sempai will be 
together forever?"

	"I hope so," Hanai said.  "I think we were made for 
each other."

	"You used to think that about me," Yakumo said, then 
put a hand over her mouth.  She'd meant to be less harsh.

	He winced.  "I know.  But I didn't even really know 
you.  I was just infatuated with your beauty and grace," 
Hanai said, watching Karasuma leap over one of Harima's 
punches to kick him in the face.  As he staggered, Harima 
grabbed Karasuma's foot and swung him into a wall.  

	"But you know Suou-sempai?" Yakumo asked.  

	"Better than I know myself," Hanai said confidently.

	"I have to envy you that," Nara said softly.  "I only 
met Akira this year."

	Hanai twitched.  "Just keep...just good luck.  And you 
too, Yakumo.  Harima's not very smart, but he..."

	"Not very smart?" Harima said.  "I'll show you smart!"  
He grabbed Hanai and threw him into Karasuma, who 
parried with a chair.  

	Now the brawl went three-ways.

	"Are all men's parties like this?," Yakumo asked Nara.

	"I fear for our lives when the drinking starts," he 
replied.

**************

	"Well, I could loan you the money at a modest rate of 
15 percent," Akira said to Mikoto.

	Why did I ever think playing Monopoly with Akira 
would be a good idea, Mikoto asked herself.  "Fine," she 
mumbled.

	"Here you go," Akira said, advancing the money.  
"And here's your payment schedule."  She slid over a 
notecard with neat columns and rows full of beautiful (to 
Akira) numbers.

	Eri laughed.  "That's gonna hurt."  She rolled the dice.  
"Ack!"  Her top hat now rounded GO and landed on Baltic 
Avenue; Tenma had carefully purchased the whole first 
bloc of properties and built up houses and hotels on them.  
Hundreds of dollars drained out of Eri's funds into Tenma's.

	"Woo!  Can I use this to put a ram on the front of my 
car so I can eliminate my foes by running them over?" 
Tenma asked Akira.

	Akira stared at Tenma.

	"No violence," Mikoto said.  Though it would make 
her life easier.

	"Yes, as she said," Akira said.  

	"Aww."  Tenma rolled the dice.  "Free parking!  
Awesome!"

	Mikoto tried to decide whether trying to have an 
intervention over werelesbianism with Tenma would help 
or just make things messier.  Akira was supposed to open 
the topic, but she seemed to have lost herself in becoming a 
slum lord.

	"So, how did things go with you and Yakumo, hmm?" 
Tenma asked Eri.

	"I...what?" Eri asked, flustered.

	"You looked so cute, dancing together," Tenma said 
cheerfully.

	"That's true," Mikoto had to admit.

	"We're not...I don't know what she thinks she's doing, 
but I can't marry her.  And don't throw silly things at me 
about making Sagano the Pope or whatever!," Eri said 
frantically, taking the dice.

	"My turn," Akira said, taking the dice.  They did not 
cooperate and she landed on the Electric company.  "Your 
rent," she said quickly, passing it to Mikoto.

	"Not Sagano.  SARA.  Sagano's not even catholic," 
Tenma said.  "I think she's Buddhist."

	"I think she worships herself, or possibly a god of 
crazy ideas," Mikoto said, carefully shaking the dice in her 
hands and whispering to them.  This was crucial to break 
Akira's power over them.

	"Momma needs a six," Mikoto said, then rolled.  Nine.  
"No, not PARK PLACE!!!"

	Akira began writing out another loan deal.

	"You look so romantic together," Tenma said.

	"Kenji is going to win and that's that.  He's who I want 
to win.  Can't you cheer for me, Tenma?" Eri asked, 
frustrated and not wanting to think about little miss perfect 
Yakumo, however pretty and graceful she might be.  That 
just made her WORSE.

	Stupid little miss perfect.

	"Of course I will," Tenma said.  "But it all has to 
balance out, you see.  A bird needs two wings, you know."  
Her voice was oddly serene.

	Eri took the dice.  She rolled them grimly, then gave a 
sigh of relief.  Just visiting at the jail.  

	"Look, Tenma," Mikoto began.

	"I'm just disappointed you don't come after me more 
often when the moon is full," Akira said to Tenma with her 
usual calm voice.

	Tenma suddenly looked guilty.  "Well, I only came to 
understand all this recently.  Have I been neglecting you, 
Akira?"

	Mikoto tried to figure out if Akira was...surely this 
was intended to bring Tenma around to some kind 
of...understanding of something.  Right?

	Eri passed the dice to Tenma, who ignored them, 
looking guilty.

	"You always kept creeping in with Eri and Yakumo 
and Kenji, but not me," Akira said, looking almost sad.

	"I was trying to keep them from doing anything 
stupid!," Tenma protested, then dropped the dice and came 
over and hugged Akira.  "I'm sorry.  I'll come chase you 
next full moon, okay?"

	"Okay," Akira said.  "And you can't neglect Mikoto, 
either."

	"Miko-chin!"  Tenma ran over to her next and gave 
her a big hug.

	"You going to play or what?" Eri asked a little 
crankily.

	"I pass, Akira can take my turn," Tenma said.  "I have 
to cuddle Mikoto."

	Mikoto laughed a little as Tenma hugged her.  "It's 
okay, I have my boyfriend."

	"And your other boyfriend and your girlfriend," 
Tenma said.

	"And my...no, it's not like that!," Mikoto protested.

	"It's not easy juggling so many lovers, is it?" Akira 
asked softly.

	Eri pouted.

	"I...no," Tenma said.  "I should spend more time with 
you guys.  Not just my boyfriend and my sister and her 
boyfriend.  Though once Eri starts being with them all the 
time..."

	"Let's not think about all that, okay?" Eri pleaded.  "I 
just want to bankrupt everyone."

	"Okay," Tenma said, now hugging Eri.  "Whose turn 
is it?"

	Eri vibrated gently.

	"Yours," Mikoto said.

	"Wait, didn't I pass?"

	"There is no passing in Monopoly.  You must keep 
moving so you can pay me rent," Akira said.

	Some things never change, Mikoto thought.

**************

	Yakumo finished going through a tea ceremony with 
Nara while Hanai, Harima, and Karasuma lay unconscious 
on the floor.  Yakumo had carefully thrown a blanket over 
them.  

	Nara sipped his last bit of tea.  "Thank you, 
Tsukamoto-san.  That was very nice."
	
	She smiled a tiny bit.  "You're welcome.  You...should 
practice more with Akira, though.  She's..."

	"Very insistent on avoiding sloppiness like mine," 
Nara said.  "I know."  He sighed.  

	"Well, you'll learn," Yakumo said.  

	"Hmm.  Want to play cards?" Nara asked.

	"Sure.  Should we try to wake them up?" she asked.

	"Let them rest," Nara said.  "They'll probably just find 
another excuse to hit each other if we wake them."

	That was true, Yakumo thought.  And the cover was 
done.  She could just ink it later.  "Okay, I'll go get a deck 
and we can play."

***************
	
	The ladies had changed into their pajamas and gotten 
ready for bed.  But they'd decided to have one game of 
spades before sleeping.  In hopes of breaking Akira's string 
of victories, not that anyone said that out loud.

	They were in the middle of Eri and Mikoto beating 
Tenma and Akira (as Akira could only do much to help 
Tenma) when Akira said, "Can you smile, Mikoto?"

	Mikoto blinked, then smiled.  "What, like that?"

	Akira studied her intently.

	"Don't tell me you don't know how to smile," Eri said.  
"We've all seen you smile at Nara."  She struck a kind of 
star-struck awe smile.  "Like that."

	"Mikoto smiles so naturally," Akira said softly.

	Mikoto blushed a little.

	"And that too," Akira said.  "I don't even know how to 
fake blushing."

	"It just happens," Eri said.  "Like breathing."

	Tenma smiled.  "Your smile is very beautiful," she 
said to Akira.  "But I'm sure Mikoto can help you."

	Mikoto laughed nervously.  "Well, umm...okay.  I'll do 
my best!"  She took Akira's hands.  "We can do it 
together!"

	Akira made a clumsy face thing which somewhat 
resembled a smile.

	"Just think about something you like," Mikoto said.

	Akira thought about Nara and got the goofy smile.

	"Besides Nara," Mikoto said.

	Akira tried thinking about her mother, but she could 
feel her face looked calm as usual.  Even thinking about tea 
didn't seem to help.

	Tenma tried to help.  She whispered into Akira's ear.  
"Candy, candy, candy...."

	Akira felt lightly amused, but her face didn't change.  

	Mikoto thought.  "Maybe a real nice cup of tea..."

	"Not this late; I already drank up my decaffinated," 
Akira said regretfully. 

	Mikoto moved around behind Eri, grabbed her 
ponytails, and began making them dance.  "How about 
this?"

	"Hey!," Eri said.

	Tenma began to giggle.  

	Akira definitely felt amused but her face wasn't 
changing.  

	"Look, trying to make her laugh isn't the key...it's not 
natural if you force it," Eri said.  "But if you stick around 
Mikoto some, maybe you'll pick it up faster, right?  
Observe and learn?"

	It made sense.  Akira nodded.  "That makes sense."

	"Okay, you sleep next to me in case I smile in my 
sleep," Mikoto said, trying to not laugh.

	"And I'll whisper Hanai's name in her ear all night so 
she smiles," Tenma said.  "And Masahiro and Miki and..."

	"Tenma!"  It was time to give Tenma a tickle-beating, 
clearly.

	Akira winced, but only on the inside.  Hanai...best not 
to think about him.  How he was probably in his pajamas, 
surrounded by other manly men in their pajamas... Nara... 
Harima... even Karasuma...  Akira shook her head.  Don't 
think about that.  Whatever sexy things the men might be 
doing...no, just focus on her friends.  And smiling.

	Tenma laughed loudly enough for six people, and 
Akira finally cracked a tiny smile.  Unfortunately, no one, 
not even she, actually noticed it over the noise.

**************

	Yakumo had carefully rolled out a futon, dragged the 
unconscious men onto it, taken off their shoes, then thrown 
sheets over them and pillows under their heads.  Nara had 
helped her, then gotten them some of the left-over desserts 
from the kitchen, so they were having cake and ice cream 
and soda while they played cards.  Yakumo expected they 
would probably gain three million pounds, but it was a 
party after all.  

	A man party.

	Which she'd somehow imagined would have less of 
unconscious men in it.

	There was a knock on the door.  "Come in quietly," 
Yakumo said softly.

	Asou and Suga came in.  "We heard there was a guy 
party?" Suga asked.

	"It sort of turned into a slumber party," Nara said, 
laughing a little.

	"Geez," Suga said.  "Oooh, cards.  Hey, wait, why is 
Tsukamoto-san here?"

	"Honorary guy, since she's trying to get Eri's hand in 
marriage," Nara said quickly.

	Yakumo said, "..."

	"Oh, cool," Suga said.  "That makes sense."

	"Not really," Asou said.  "But I don't care one way or 
another.  And Tsukamoto-san is good company.  Let's play 
before it gets too late."

	There was another knock at the door.  It was Miki and 
Masahiro.  "Is Haruki-san here?" Masahiro asked.

	"Yes," Yakumo said, pointing.

	"Oh, he's already sleeping here," Miki said, sounding 
disappointed.  "I guess we shouldn't disturb him."

	Masahiro nodded.  "See you all tomorrow, then!"  
They took off.

	"Now, time to bankrupt you all," Suga said, rubbing 
his hands eagerly.

	"We'll see about that," Asou said confidently.  "I feel 
lucky tonight."

*************

	Later, Yakumo woke up with cards all over her.  
Sitting up, she saw Nara, Asou, and Suga all clonked out 
with cards all over them.  It looked like she'd won a lot of 
money, though she didn't remember winning it.  Suga had 
most of the rest.  

	Carefully, she dragged the other guys onto the futon 
and tucked them in, then tried to go sleep.  Instead, she fell 
asleep again and fell down, mostly on Harima, but her legs 
trailing onto Asou's chest.  

**************

	The rest of the vacation went by without serious 
incident.  All too soon it was over, time to return home to 
Sukuran and experience the revenge of school--the winter 
trimester, the last one of the school year.  

	Some would have a happy homecoming.

***************
	
 		
	Yuuki hauled her luggage up the stairs, then pushed 
the front door open.  "Mom, I'm..."

	Flashes went off in her face and confetti flew.  The 
living room of her family's small house was crammed full 
of family friends and relatives, along with a handful of her 
friends from school.  "Congratulations on your record 
contract!," her mother said.  "And on becoming class 
president!  Why didn't you tell me?"

	I did tell you, but you didn't seem to notice, Yuuki 
thought.  But she smiled, looking embarrassed.

	"Speech, speech!" Sagano shouted as Yuuki wondered 
how she'd gotten there ahead of her.  

	Yuuki gulped.  "I...um....four score and seven years 
ago...no, wrong speech..."

	There was much laughter, and she finally managed to 
babble something only slightly inane and in the end, she 
had a good time.

*************

	And others would have a less happy homecoming.

*************

	"I have bad news for you," Sagano's mother said to 
her.

	"Did Tomo get expelled and forced to move to 
Siberia?," Sagano asked hopefully.

	"BAD news," her mother said firmly.

	"Well, I was hoping it was 'bad' from your view and 
'good' from mine," Sagano said nervously.  "This isn't about 
all those dead orcs, right?"

	"What?" her mother asked.

	"Nothing," Sagano mumbled.

	"I'm afraid we had to throw out some of your manga 
because it got covered with stink-spewing vomit," her 
mother said.  "Fortunately for you, it was Tomo's fault, so 
she got the bill for the hazardous waste disposal unit's call."

	"..."

	"I never realized you saved so much.  But it was so 
trashed that I couldn't even tell what company made it," her 
mother said.

	"My...manga...," Sagano said.  MY PORN!!!!!

	"Anyway, the Christmas presents we got you also had 
to be burned..."

	"..."

	"So here's a check for 75,000 yen."  Her mother 
passed her the check.  "Your father got a big bonus this 
year and he felt bad for you, losing all that stuff to your 
cousin being an idiot.  You can replace your manga or buy 
yourself some presents or whatever."  She sighed.

	Nothing could replace Sagano's precious babies, her 
porn.  But this would make a good start.

	One thing was clear however.

	Her vengeance on Tomo would have to be more 
horrible than can possibly be imagined.

****************

	Yukari stumbled in the doorway.  "I'm home!"

	Her parents were waiting in the living room with a 
look she hadn't seen on them since the time she'd 
accidentally left shoes in the oven at 350 degrees for a day.  
The smell...it still haunted her dreams.

	"Please tell me I didn't leave something in the oven," 
she mumbled.

	"No, dear, that would be less bad," her mother said.

	"I'm afraid we're grounding you for the next two 
years," her father said.

	"You can't ground me!  I'm an adult!," Yukari said.

	"You've been seducing a teenager, and we can't allow 
that," her father said.  "So from here on out, until he's old 
enough to be legal, you're going to come straight home 
from work and you're going to stay home, unless one of us 
is with you."

	"But...I'm too old for this!  I'll move out!," Yukari 
said.

	"Don't make empty threats, dear.  We know you can't 
manage your money well enough to make a rent payment.  
You make a little over 4 million yen a year, but you have 
less than 5000 yen in the bank most of the time," her father 
said.  "So you're grounded until you either find the money 
to move out or until the boy turns 18."

	"But the age of majority in Japan is only...," Yukari 
began.

	"You're still going to be seen as raiding the 
kindergarden," her mother said.  "We don't mind if you 
have adult boyfriends, but you need to learn not to raid the 
student body.  You're a teacher!"

	"He's not one of MY students," Yukari said.

	"Too bad.  You're grounded and that's that," her 
mother said.

	"Who told you about this?" Yukari demanded angrily.

	"A good journalist doesn't give up her sources," 
Yukari's mother said.

	It's probably that bastard Umino, Yukari thought.  He 
wants Nyamo all to himself.  Grounding me, an adult.  He 
will PAY!

***************

	Akira was rather surprised to see her mother making 
breakfast the next morning.  This was because she and Nara 
were at their house.  She hadn't even realized her mother 
had a key.

	"I picked the lock, let myself in, thought I'd make you 
breakfast," Akira's mother said.

	"Out of food at home?" Akira asked.

	Her mother smiled a little.  "Yes.  I'll go shop later 
today.  Also, had to come by to warn you that the 
Sawachika family hired me to help balance the contest out 
by advising Imadori."

	"..."  Akira stared at her mother.

	"I have to give him some credit for knowing to play to 
his strengths in this," Akira's mother said, beginning to mix 
batter.  "Pancakes okay?"

	"Fine," Akira mumbled.

	"So with you and I neutralizing each other, this will be 
a test of your other boyfriend's real mettle," Akira's mother 
said.

	"Kenji-san is not my boyfriend!," Akira said firmly.

	"Mmm, how thin do you want your fried cinnamon 
apples?" her mother asked.

	Akira stalked over.  "Mother, Kenji is not my 
boyfriend.  I'm not crazy enough to get into the middle of 
that and I already have a boyfriend."

	Her mother passed her the batter.  "You stir, I'll cut 
apples.  We should probably wake Nara-san up and put him 
to work."

	"Not until you stop calling Kenji my boyfriend.  He's 
just a friend," Akira said, starting to stir.  "I am absolutely 
faithful to my boyfriend."

	"Except when you lust after Harima-san and Hanai-
san," her mother said.  

	"I'm not lusting after anyone but my totally sexy 
boyfriend who is all I could ever need or want," Akira said 
very, very firmly, stirring the batter faster than a blender on 
puree.  Some of it splashed on her, but she didn't care.

	"Okay, I think you've defeated the batter," her mother 
said, beginning to fairly thinly slice an apple.  "We'll need 
coffee, sausage, bacon...would some orange and melon 
slices be overkill for just three of us?"

	"If you really want to cook a lot, I can call some 
friends to eat the extra," Akira said.  "So long as you don't 
call Kenji-san my boyfriend in front of anyone."

	"Everyone has crushes at your age," her mother began.

	"Don't patronize me," Akira said, getting out bacon 
and readying it for cooking.  "My heart is all focused on 
one person."  The bacon went into the frying pan and began 
to sizzle.  "And Kenji-san is going to crush Imadori-san."

	Her mother smiled a small smile.  "It's good to support 
one's boyfriends."

	"Mother," Akira said warningly, forcing herself to 
calm down; she let the sizzling of the bacon burn her anger.  
Calm, calm.  Save the emotions for when they're useful.  
"You're going to cause me trouble with Kentaro if you keep 
saying that.  It's not true, but I don't want it to haunt him," 
Akira continued.  She flipped the bacon over.

	Akira's mother tried to decide if she should flip the 
first set of pancakes or go back to fruit prep.  "Fine," she 
said.  "Just be careful of what you do, or he might get the 
wrong idea anyway."

	Akira frowned, but stayed silent as she finished off the 
bacon, then went to make some calls for more eaters.

***************

	Tani-sensei sat nervously with Tae and the other 
teachers in the auditorium; they had 'in-service' days before 
the semester started, which usually was a mixture of 
teacher training, time to prep for the trimester, and the 
Principal's latest insane schemes.

	Aino-Sensei stepped up to the podium, reading the 
announcement the board had made her Vice-Principal to 
replace the old one and then various pieces of news not 
relevant to this narrative.  She concluded by calling Youko-
sensei up and then stepping down.

	"Hello, everyone," Youko-sensei said, smiling.  "I've 
been chosen to develop this semester's 'teacher unity' 
project."  Few words spread more horror at Sukuran than 
'teacher unity'.  Past teacher unity days had featured such 
things as crossing live minefields, trying to hunt snarks in 
the forest, and swimming across Tokyo Bay.  In winter.

	Surely this couldn't be too bad.

	She unrolled a poster showing herself, Itoko, and the 
Principal standing in bold, heroic poses saluting the school 
flag against a stylized backdrop of the school and students 
saluting it.  Everyone looked slightly, but only slightly 
abstracted; the Principal looked ready to benchpress 
tractors.  "We will divide into teams of three and cover the 
school with forthright art to build school spirit and advance 
the worker's paradise!"  She had to fight back a giggle, but 
the Principal looked pleased.

	Tani-sensei gave a sigh of relief.  Not half as bad as 
some days.

	"I have randomly selected teams," Youko-sensei said.  
She began reading them off; Tani noted Youko got teamed 
with Itoko-sensei and...Tae.  He frowned at that, as he'd 
hoped to have her on his team.

	"Also, Coach-san, Kaitou-sensei, and Tani-sensei," 
Youko read off.

	"But...you can't team me with the thug and the 
moron!," Kaitou-sensei protested.

	"I am not a thug, but I will beat you down for that!" 
Coach-san said.

	AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, 
Tani said inside his head.  This was going to be a long day.

************

	Yakumo was grateful that the house couldn't get too 
messy all on its own.  And Kenji had done most of the 
laundry, which took a big burden off her.  So she, Sara, and 
Satsuki were going to go off and do some shopping and 
relax before school started again soon.

	There was a knock at the door, so she answered it, as 
Tenma was still asleep and so was Kenji.  She'd made them 
breakfast which could be warmed up and left it out for 
them.  

	To her surprise, it was Yuri at the door.  "Yuri-sensei," 
she said.  "Come in."

	Yuri came in.  "Hi, Mrs. Sawachika asked me to be 
your business advisor for the contest.  Do you have time to 
talk about it?"

	"A little," Yakumo said.  "I'm going out with some 
friends."

	"Do you have an idea for a business?  We'll have to 
decide soon so that the Sawachikas can obtain one for us."

	"I'm thinking maybe a restaurant or a bakery, since I'm 
good at cooking and waitressing," Yakumo said.

	Yuri nodded approvingly.  "So am I.  Let's try a 
restaurant; I've been running a bakery for years, and I'm 
ready for something new."

	Yakumo nodded.  "Why don't you come in and have 
some tea while I wait for my friends?"

	"Alright, let's do that," Yuri said, following her in.

************

	Nothing had quite gone right trying to catch 
Yoshidayama at the ski lodges, but Rinko was determined 
she'd catch him this time.  It was quite lucky, really, that 
Bishimaya-san knew where Yoshidayama lived.  She just 
hoped that showing up unannounced would work out right.

	But Bishi-san seemed confident it would, and she 
trusted him.

	So here they were, about to knock on the door.

	Like they had been twenty minutes ago, when they'd 
arrived.

	She just couldn't quite get her fist to make the final 
step.  

	Finally, Bishi-san stepped up and knocked on the door 
for her.  She smiled gratefully at him.

	A baby began screaming, and then another, and then a 
third and a fourth.  There was much rushing about and 
hushing noises and sounds like young girls telling babies to 
be quiet.

	Finally, a middle aged woman with VERY YELLOW 
hair done in cornrows opened the door.  She had deeply 
tanned skin and wore a NWA T-shirt and torn jeans which 
looked like she'd mugged a teenager and taken the kid's 
clothing.  There were some seven babies to be seen in the 
living room beyond, some in cribs, several in small 
swinging cribs.  The musical stylings of Snoop Dogg 
attempted unsuccessfully to lure the babies to sleep.

	Rinko stared mindlessly, unable to understand what 
was going on.  This was Yoshi-san's mother?  How many 
babies could one woman her age have???

	Bishi-san said, "Hi, Yoshidayama-san.  We're looking 
for your son."

	She peered at Rinko.  "You don't look American."

	"I...I'm not," Rinko said, now even more confused.

	"Though you do look like a cracker, but you dress 
Japanese," Yoshidayama's mother said.

	"..."  Rinko looked at herself.  Since when did I look 
edible?  

	"We're two of his classmates, not...whoever you are 
thinking of," Bishi-san said nervously.

	"I expect he'd kick your ass too," Yoshidayama's 
mother said.  Three young girls in the twelve to eight range 
swarmed around behind her, seeing to the needs of the 
babies.

	"Are those yours?" Rinko asked nervously.

	"I gotta stay home to watch my own kids, so I'm 
taking care of various' friends' babies while they work," 
Yoshidayama's mother said.  "Pays better than my old 
secretarial job."

	Rinko tried to imagine her showing up for secretary 
work like this.  

	"Do you know where he is?" Bishi-san asked.

	"STICKING IT TO THE MAN, I hope," 
Yoshidayama's mother said.  "Can't you just call him?"

	Rinko felt embarrassed.  Yes, what a radical idea.  
"We'll do that."

	"Good.  I have to give the babies their formula, which 
means it's time to switch over to Pink.  Have fun getting in 
trouble, kids."  Yoshidayama's mother waved and closed 
the door. 

	"My goodness," Rinko said.

	"Yeah, his mother's not the most impressive person in 
the world," Bishi-san said.  "But you have to see past 
appearances when you're in love, right?"

	"Right," Rinko said, taking his hand and squeezing it.  
"You understand me so well."  She smiled.

	He laughed nervously.  "I try," he mumbled.

	"Let's go call him and find him, then," Rinko said, 
leading Bishi-san off.

***************

	"You must operate as a smoothly functioning 
machine, or else you will be crushed," Mrs. Takano said to 
the assembled Video Club members.  "Our project is 
ambitious, but ambition is good.  It's what separates the 
winners from the losers."

	"Isn't winning what separates them?" Yoshidayama 
asked.

	"Yes, but the unambitious do not win," Mrs. Takano 
said.

	They were in a backroom at Buddha's family's shop 
for the meeting.  Most of them were hoping to get past the 
boring stuff quickly so they could watch some videos.

	"But what if both sides are ambitious?" Yoshidayama 
asked.

	"Then it comes down to skill," Mrs. Takano said.  "I 
am made of pure skill.  And I will make you all better than 
you were before.  Or kill you in the attempt."

	Most of them shivered at that, remembering rubber 
bullets.

	"We're going to open a hobby, comic, and video 
store," Imadori said.

	Everyone cheered.

	"I expect together, we can make it a huge success and 
crush Harima-san," Imadori said.

	"If anyone pilfers any merchandise..."  Mrs. Takano 
made a gun with her fingers and then said, "BANG."

	Everyone jumped.  Honesty was the best survival 
policy here.  Definitely.

**************** 

	Akira stood on Harima's bed, trying to pry his arms 
loose.  Mikoto took one arm, she took the other, but he was 
clinging to it desperately and mumbling.

	"No...don't pull arm...going off road..." he mumbled.

	Mikoto sighed.  "Now what?"

	Akira assessed the situation.  She said, "Well, I guess 
we can't tell Kenji he's turned into a woman again."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"  Harima vaulted off 
the bed, bounced off the wall, checked his chest, then said, 
"Dammit, you tricked me!"

	"Time to get up.  We have to figure out your business 
soon," she said.

	Harima got up.  "Does it have to be an actual store or 
can it be a business venture?"

	"Hmm, I'm not sure.  Pitch me the idea," Akira said.  

	Mikoto leaned against the wall, listening.

	"The two things I could do well.  Motorcycle lessons 
or art lessons," Harima said.  "Though I guess I could do 
motorcycle repair or run a motorcycle shop too."

	"Hmm.  We're going to need something that can be 
open other than just when we're available, though...so a 
Motorcycle shop with lessons on the side might be good," 
Akira said.  "Especially since I know a fair amount about 
motorcycles."

	"You can teach me," Mikoto said.  "It'd be cool to be 
able to ride a cycle."

	"There we go, a customer already," Akira said.  "Also, 
we can add the Motorcycle Taxi Service you already owe 
Mihama-san and her friends into it," she continued.

	Harima winced.  "Man, this is going to start a lot of 
stupid rumors."

	"It's much easier to pay your debt this way than to earn 
the money for it.  And we can credit it as really high 
payments..., yes, yes, this will help," Akira said 
thoughtfully.

	"I should call Haruka.  I bet he'd love running a cycle 
shop," Harima said.

	"That's a good idea," Akira said.  "And I'm curious to 
meet him."

	"Me too," Mikoto said.  "You always speak so highly 
of him."

	"He taught me a lot about what it means to be a man," 
Harima said.  And maybe he can teach me more about 
dealing with women, he thought.  He could use some 
advice.

***************

	Yuuki licked her lips nervously.  Was she ready for 
this?  What should she say?  What could she say?

	And were Sagano and Fuyuki going to mess 
everything up by spying on her when they thought she 
couldn't see them, but where anyone who wasn't an idiot 
would notice them?

	Maybe the ice cream store wasn't ideal for this.

	Hanai ambled in, reading a book, which he now 
tucked under one arm as he went and ordered some ice 
cream, then came over to join her.  "Hi, what's up?" he 
asked.

	Sagano made giant 'you can do it' gestures from across 
the room, then realized she WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE 
THERE and dropped down out of sight.  Hanai turned and 
looked where she had been, blinked, then turned back to 
Yuuki as he sat down.

	"Hanai-san," she said softly.  "We're going to be 
working together this semester.  Maybe even next year if 
we end up in the same class.  I know there's been...we've..."

	He reached over and patted her hand for a moment, 
then withdrew his.  "I understand.  I'll do my best to be 
professional."

	She felt a tremendous relief.  Of course he would.  He 
wasn't the sort of person to be petty and hold a grudge.  

	Unlike, say, herself.

	"Thank you.  I just want this to be good for both of 
us," Yuuki said, now eating a spoonful of her strawberry 
and lemon mix ice cream.

	"Just remember, Mai used to scream a lot, but it never 
seemed to do much good.  Also, Tougo will try to steal all 
your best lines," Hanai said.

	Yuuki said, "Well, Tougo is also in the doghouse.  
We'll need to learn more about the new president of 2-D, so 
they can't get up on us."

	"Our strength will beat theirs if we stand together," 
Hanai said, then chomped on his chocolate swirl ice cream.  

	They began making plans; it was strange for Yuuki; 
she actually felt closer to him like this than she ever had 
managed when she was chasing him.  

	Even with Sagano and Fuyuki peeking at them the 
whole time.

	Towards the end of the meeting, Hanai said softly, "I 
don't know if you noticed, but Fuyuki and Sagano are 
spying on us."

	Do not ever use them for espionage, Yuuki told 
herself.  "So, you have evidence that Brad Pitt damaged 
Sagano's porn collection?" Yuuki asked Hanai loudly.

	He blinked, then said, "He's always been jealous of her 
relationship with Fuyuki, but it looks like he's finally 
snapped."

	"HEY!" Sagano said, springing up as Fuyuki tried to 
pull her down.  "Tomo's working with Brad Pitt?  
DAMMIT!"

	Sorry, lover, Yuuki thought.  This is for your own 
good.  "That's a class secret.  TOP secret."  She waggled a 
finger at Sagano.

	"But...fine, I'll tickle it out of you, later," Sagano said.

	"You know, you need to pick a lieutenant now," Hanai 
said to Yuuki.  "Perhaps someone who could stand to have 
a more productive outlet for her energy."

	Yuuki said, "I think I will appoint two flunkies, so as 
to off-load more of my work onto them.  Megumi-san, 
Takeichi-san, I hereby appoint you Vice Presidents of the 
Class.  Megumi, you're in charge of the women; Fuyuki, 
you're in charge of the men."

	"Yes!  My boyfriend now has the power to get me a 
harem of handsome men!," Sagano said.

	"But no incentive," Fuyuki pointed out.

	"Dammit," Sagano mumbled.

	"Very good, Ms. President.  Now, I need to get back 
home so I can teach students tonight," Hanai said.

	"We should come with you.  We all need to build our 
fighting skills," Yuuki said.  "I expect there's more 
weirdness to come."

	"Good," Hanai said.  "Let's go, then."

	And they headed out.

******************* 
	
	"I still think a bunny bar," Imadori began.

	"No," Mrs. Takano said.

	"But we...," he tried to continue.

	"You couldn't even legally enter it, let alone run it.  
You want to win, don't you?" she asked him.

	"We can hire cute women and put them in bunny 
outfits to run the shop when we're in school," Buddha 
pointed out.

	"Oooh, I didn't think of that," Imadori said.

	Mrs. Takano began to say something, then said, 
"Hmm, mascots can be useful."

	They brainstormed a while longer, then Mrs. Takano 
let most of them go except for Buddha and Imadori.  
"We're going to have to screen the staff carefully to avoid 
my daughter infiltrating any agents."

	"Does she really have that kind of resources?" Buddha 
asked.

	"She'll find a way.  We have to presume that if it's 
possible, she can and will do it."

	"What about Yakumo?" Imadori asked.

	"I'm not worried about Yakumo.  She's too quiet and 
polite to try to sabotage the other players, but my daughter 
has the brains and Harima-san has the attitude.  Also, 
you're going to have to make sure none of your club 
harrasses any female employees or everything will go to 
hell and I will have to crush you all for wasting my time."  
She said this very calmly.  "Also, you'd best keep your 
mistress away from this, unless you want it to go to hell," 
she said to Imadori.

	"I don't have a mistress," Imadori protested.

	Buddha made noises.

	"You know what I mean.  Lots of wealthy degenerates 
have mistresses, but I'm not going to let you put a mark on 
my record," Mrs. Takano said.  "If you don't learn some 
discretion, you'll be eaten alive in the waters you're 
swimming in."  

	Imadori nodded; she wondered if he was paying 
attention at all.  

	"Alright.  I'm counting on you two to keep your club 
in line.  Do your best."

	"Of course," Buddha said.

	"We'll need some way to keep Lala from levelling my 
shop," Imadori pointed out.

	"I will find a way," Mrs. Takano said.  "Alright, I'll 
tell the Sawachikas our plan and we'll see how it goes."

	She headed out, leaving Imadori and Buddha to stand 
on the balcony at Imadori's family's apartment and stare out 
across the city.

	Buddha finally said, "She's going to own us by the 
time this ends."

	"I can stand a little slavery for victory," Imadori said.

	"Yukari-san will take this badly," Buddha said.

	"I can sweet-talk her," Imadori said.  "This will work 
out just fine."

	Buddha wasn't so sure about that.

***************

	Akira blinked in surprise as Haruka kissed her hand; 
she felt a little flattered, as no one had done that before for 
her except Nara.  "It's a pleasure to meet you, fair lady," 
Haruka said.

	"Traded up to a newer model?" Haruka asked Harima.

	"I am not Kenji-san's girlfriend," Akira said firmly.  

	Haruka looked amused by that.

	"What gives you that idea?" Harima asked.  "I have a 
girlfriend already!"

	"Two," Akira said.

	"She...we...it's complicated," Harima mumbled.

	They were meeting at a quiet cafe; all three of their 
cycles were parked nearby in the parking lot.  

	"I am Kenji's friend and business manager," Akira 
said.  "I will try to explain the whole situation."

	"Don't mention the freaky bits," Harima mumbled.

	"Can't be avoided, really," Akira said.  

	Harima grumbled into his coffee.  "But he'll think 
we're crazy."

	"I've seen some crazy stuff.  Try me," Haruka said.

	Akira explained everything as best she could while 
Harima twitched, talked to his coffee, ate danishes and 
generally had a mild conniption fit.

	"Damn, you turned into a woman and I never got to 
see it!" Haruka said, sounding disappointed.

	"..."  Harima stared.

	"Was he hot?" Haruka asked Akira.

	"Smoking hot," Akira said.  "Not that I noticed, since I 
have a very handsome boyfriend and were-lesbianism only 
exists in Tenma's head."  She quickly ate a danish herself.

	Haruka idly fiddled thoughtfully with a donut.  "So no 
chance of it happening again."

	"NO," Harima said.

	Not until the next time Eri gets really mad at you, 
anyway, Onna-Harima said.

	NO NO NO.

	"That's too bad.  And no pictures?"

	"Fuyuki might have some," Akira said.

	"Noooo!!!!!!!!!!"

	"Hmm, sure, I'd be glad to help out.  Though I'd say 
Kenji's heading for disaster, trying to court two women at 
once."

	"It's a mess," Harima mumbled into his coffee.

	"But if you pull it off, I'll definitely admire you," 
Haruka said.  "Though I'd admire you more if..."

	"NO," Harima said.  "Don't even tease me about it."  
He finished off his coffee and flagged a waitress for more.

	"I have to say, I never expected to see you end up like 
this, but I'm glad for you.  Finding a good woman really 
can change your life," Haruka said.  

	"You have a girlfriend now?" Harima asked.

	"Something...it's complicated," Haruka said.

	Harima grinned.  "Oh, now it's your turn to spill the 
beans."

	"I...well, we're living together," Haruka said.  "But 
there's a lot of stuff I can't talk about.  But she's a good 
woman."

	"Never thought I'd see you settle down with one 
woman; you flirted with everything female in sight," 
Harima said.  "Hell, I'd almost think you were flirting with 
me at times and I wasn't a woman."

	"Yet," Haruka said, grinning.

	"Dammit, that's never happening again!," Harima said.

	"Saying that probably damns you to suffer it again," 
Akira said.

	Haruka looked thoughtful a moment.  "You and your 
boyfriend both got switched along with all those others 
briefly, right?," he asked Akira.

	Akira froze up, suddenly on the spot.  "Yes," she said 
into her coffee cup.

	Harima grinned; it was time to escape his worries in 
the suffering of others.  Always better when the shoe was 
on someone else's foot.

	"How did he take it?"

	"Much better than Kenji," Akira said, relaxing a little.

	"Well, he looks kinda girly anyway," Harima said.  
"Hell, put him in a dress and he looks pretty feminine," he 
continued.

	Akira glared at him.

	"Oh come on, you know it's true," Harima said.  

	Akira was not mollified.  "I seem to remember how 
someone at this table went to a formal party in a dress."

	"I...hey, that was your idea!," Harima protested, now 
on the defensive.

	"Crossdressing can be fun," Haruka teased.

	"You...you don't...do you?" Harima asked Haruka.

	"Sometimes," Haruka said.  "Don't let society chain 
you down with its stereotypes.  A man is a man because of 
what's on the inside, right?  And the same for a woman?"

	"Yeah," Harima said.  "But it's just...it's not..."

	"I just wish I could have seen you as a woman."  
Haruka sighed.  "Anyway, enough teasing.  Let's talk about 
our cycle shop."

	"YES," Harima said.

	So they got down to the nitty-gritty of it.

***************

	Rinko could feel her brain fritzing out.  She'd come all 
this way to finally meet with Yoshidayama, only to be 
struck paralyzed, unable to speak coherently as she and 
Yoshidayama and Bishi-san all sat in a cafe together.  "You 
were supposed to be at the meeting," Yoshidayama said to 
Bishi-san.

	"Rinko-san and I were busy running around trying to 
find you," he said.

	"I was at the meeting!," Yoshidayama said.

	Rinko closed her eyes and tried to focus.  Say 
something, say something, say something.  "Something."

	"What?" Yoshidayama asked in confusion.

	"I just...you...how do you do your hair?" she blurted 
out.

	He blinked, then began explaining.  

	Bishi-san said, "I'm going to the bathroom.  Be back in 
a minute."

	"See you," Yoshidayama said, returning to his 
explanation.

	This was the plan.  Once they were in place, Bishi 
would duck out and she'd hint to Yoshidayama to ask her 
out.  As she was too nervous and not sure if he'd take a 
woman asking him out well.

	Once he finished with his hair explanation (which she 
found fascinating), she said, "Do you like plays?"

	"Some of them.  Some suck," he said. 

	"Ever seen Guys and Dolls?," she asked.

	"Sounds kind of gay," he said.

	She shook her head.  "No, it's not gay.  It's about 
gamblers and clubbers in New York in the early 20th 
century."

	"Hmm, that might be good.  Any big fights?" he 
asked.

	"I don't know, but there's lots of fights at gambling 
halls," she said.

	He sipped his coke.  "Might be worth seeing."

	She trembled with excitement.  Okay, he's 
close...close...

	"When are you two going to see it?" Yoshidayama 
asked idly.

	Us two?  Is this his indirect way of asking me out?  Or 
maybe he thinks Saeko-san and I are going?  Or Kozue-san 
and I.  "I was thinking maybe this Friday, first Friday after 
school starts."

	"Yeah, I'll want a break by then.  I'll see if I can get a 
date.  I expect Jenny will be free," he said thoughtfully.

	Rinko began to feel she'd slid into a parallel universe.  
"Okay, let me get your number so I can call you once we 
have tickets."

	"So how long have you and...'Bishi-san' been going 
out?" he asked.

	"Oh, we're not dating," Rinko said urgently.

	"I see," Yoshidayama said with a tone of skepticism.  
"So you still need some cover before you're comfortable 
enough to solo date with him?  Sure, I'll be glad to help you 
out," he said.  "I know all about that kind of stuff."  He 
sounded very confident.  "Don't worry, 'Bishi-san' is really 
a nice guy, even if he's got a huge nose."

	"It's not that big," Rinko mumbled.  I can't let him 
think we're dating, but I told him we're not and he didn't 
believe me!  

	"See, that's how a girlfriend ought to be, sticking up 
for her man.  Don't worry, I will hook you two up like 
butter and bread," Yoshidayama said confidently.

	She could see Bishi-san lurking, watching from a 
distance.  She signalled him to come over; he returned and 
sat down.  "Yoshi-san, watch out, there isn't much paper 
left in the bathroom.  Cheapskates."

	"You got a car by any chance, 'Bishi-san'?" 
Yoshidayama asked.

	"I'm not old enough to drive, but Dad has one," Bishi-
san said.  "Why?"

	"Good, he'll get to drive everyone.  Taking the bus to a 
double date sucks ass," Yoshidayama said.  "Though I'll see 
if Jenny has one, as I'd rather not have parents along if I 
can help it."

	Bishi-san blinked.  "What?"

	"You and Rinko-san, me and Jenny, double date, 
Friday, Guys and Dolls...where's the theatre again, Rinko-
san?" 

	"Over by Dread Tai-Pan's China House," Rinko 
mumbled.

	"Okay, I'll call you guys once I know more on my end, 
then," Yoshidayama said, rising.  "I gotta go do stuff.  See 
you both later!"  And then he headed out.

	"We're double dating with them?" Bishi-san asked in 
confusion.

	"I'm not sure what happened either," Rinko mumbled.  
"You don't mind, do you?"

	"It's fine with me, I'm just confused how the plan 
changed," Bishi-san said, finishing his tea.  "Let me walk 
you home, then I need to get ready for school tomorrow."

	"Me too," Rinko said.  How had this happened?  

	But maybe she could use this to spy out her 
opposition, this 'Jenny'.  Yes, that would work.  It might be 
two steps back, but also one step forward!  

	"Thank you for helping me," she said.  "I couldn't 
have done this without you," she said, patting his shoulder 
as they got up to go.

	"I'm just glad to help," he said, smiling.  He took her 
by the arm to formally escort her, and they headed out.

***************

	"Did your father finally get home?" Sara asked 
Satsuki.

	"He's going to get home in a few days; they had to 
wait to get cheaper tickets with more advance notice," 
Satsuki said.  "I hope his boss is understanding."

	Yakumo picked up a shirt and studied it quietly while 
the others talked; they were clothes shopping.

	"I'll pray for him," Sara said.

	"Thank you," Satsuki said, pulling out a shirt herself.  
"Too blue?"

	"Too green," Sara said.

	Satsuki studied it.  "This is green?"

	"What do you think, Yakumo?" Sara asked.

	Yakumo started, then turned.  "I think it looks just fine 
for you, Satsuki-san."

	"Hmm, okay," Satsuki said, then put it back to try 
another.  "You seem lost in thought."

"Planning ideas for my restaurant," Yakumo said.

 	"Oh wow, you have your own?" Satsuki asked.

	"I will for the contest," Yakumo said.  

	"Will you have cosplay waitresses like where you 
work?," Satsuki asked.

	"I think...," Yakumo began.

	"As I think that would be fun," Satsuki said.

	"Tea Club's cosplay cafe did make a lot of money," 
Sara pointed out.

	"That's true," Yakumo said.  And it worked for her 
cafe where she worked.  "Okay, that makes sense."  Maybe 
animal themed stuff too; she liked animals.  'Tsukamoto's 
Wild Kingdom'?  She liked that idea.  

	"Good, we can both be cute waitresses for you," Sara 
said.  "I'm sure lots of people in our class could use a part-
time job."

	"You think so?" Yakumo asked.

	Sara nodded.  "We'll show them the true power of 1-
C!"

	"Yeah!" Satsuki said.

	"Yeah!" Inaba said.

	They all jumped in surprise.  

	"What are we cheering?" she asked, grinning.

	"Yakumo's going to run a restaurant for a month," 
Sara explained.

	"Will there be cute guys?," Inaba asked.

	"Yes," Sara said, not sure if there would be.

	"I'm in!," Inaba said.

	"Well, we can get Suga-san and Asou-san to help, 
right?" Yakumo said hesitantly.

	"Yeah, there's two cute guys right there," Satsuki said.

	Inaba shook her head.  "Not TAKEN cute guys."

	"Put enough cute girls in one place and the cute guys 
will come to see them," Satsuki said sagely.  "Right?"

	"Right," Sara said.  She pulled a long blue low-cut  
blouse off the rack.  "Good or evil?"

	"Evil," Satsuki said.

	"Good," Yakumo said.

	"Depends on if you want to be naughty that night," 
Inaba said.  

	Talk now turned back to clothing.

	Without us.

************
	
	The next day, Yuuki licked her lips nervously.  Her 
first day as the new boss of 2-C in the new semester.  She 
hoped all would go well.

	The fact that the first thing she saw on arrival was 
Harima and Tennouji clobbering each other for no reason 
while Tenma tried to separate them was not a good omen.  
She contemplated intervention, then decided things would 
go more smoothly if they both wore themselves out early.

	"Aren't you going to...," Sagano began.

	"Saving my energy for where it's useful, unless you 
think you can stop them," Yuuki said.

	"Technically, it would be my job and I'm surely not 
getting in the middle of that," Fuyuki said, though he did 
snap a photo.

	"Exactly," Yuuki said.

	Inside, there were strange, stern posters everywhere, 
inviting students to study for the glory of the Motherland!  
There was also an odd abstract one; it looked almost as if 
someone had dipped Tani-sensei, Kaito-sensei, and one of 
the coaches in paint and pressed them violently against the 
paper.  Several times.

	But probably she was just imagining things.

	She went upstairs to the class; not too many people 
were here yet, so she did paperwork for a while until 
enough people arrived, then called the class to order.  This 
was about half successful, as several knots of girls were 
still talking, while the Video Club was busy clumping 
around a laptop and making appreciative noises.

	She nudged her vice presidents.  Sagano glided over to 
the first knot of gossiping women; Rinko, Nagayama, and 
Kozue were busy chattering.  "So, I snuck out of the 
house...," Kozue began.

	"Class is about to begin, gossip time is over," Sagano 
said crisply.

	"Oh, like YOU are in any position to talk about 
gossip," Kozue said disdainfully.  "Who made you queen?"

	"Well, it is now my duty to tell your parents about you 
sneaking out of the house, so why don't you just share the 
rest of the story?" Sagano asked.

	"..."

	Rinko giggled.  

	Sagano moved on, her work complete.

	Fuyuki came around and saw the guys were watching 
some video of a bunch of cute women in bikinis dancing 
around some big sumo-looking guy.  He paused longer to 
ascertain this than was strictly necessary, then said, "Guys, 
it's time for the pre-class meeting."

	This didn't sink in.  

	"Yeah, I'd rather watch this too," he said, "But it's time 
for the meeting."

	This didn't get very far, either.

	"Hey, look, weasels!"

	The guys scattered, diving for cover.  Fuyuki reached 
over, hit pause, then closed the laptop.  He ambled back to 
the front.

	"Hello, everyone.  I'm Yuuki Tsumugi, and I'm Class 
President for the last trimester of this school year.  I've 
appointed two Vice Presidents. Sagano Megumi is my 
Vice-Principal for Female Affairs and Fuyuki Takeichi is 
my Vice-Principal for Male Affairs.  Hanai Haruki will be 
continuing as our representative on the Student Council."  
The three others lurked behind her like her enforcers.

	Yuuki noticed Mai had a very overly calm look on her 
face; she probably was feeling a little depressed over this.  
"I think we should all give a round of applause for our 
retired former president, Ootsuka Mai."

	The applause was not as loud as Yuuki would have 
wished, in part because many of the guys were still trying 
to hide from weasels.  Imadori was applauding by slapping 
his butt and looking cranky.

	"Our class trip is coming up this trimester; we need to 
think about where to go and to form a committee to discuss 
possibilities," Yuuki said.

	This brought the class to life.  "Vegas!" Imadori 
shouted.

	"Houston," Karen said nervously.

	"Vegas!  Vegas!" the Video club began chanting.

	"How about England?" Eri suggested.  "I could show 
everyone around."

	"France," Mikoto said.  "I'd like to see Paris."

	"Kyoto," Tenma said.  "I want to see Samurai!"

	"Everyone goes to Kyoto," Imadori said.  
"BOOOORING."

	"Beijing," Karasuma suggested.

	"The Caribbean.  I want to fight some pirates!," 
Sagano said.

	"I don't think they have pirates there any more," Yuuki 
said.

	"We could go to the Grand Line and visit my 
parents!," Tenma said.

	"Hawaii," Mai said.  "It's very nice."

	"Anyway, we don't have to decide yet, but everyone 
needs to think about it," Yuuki said.  "Second order of 
business is..."

	"Vegas!  Vegas!"

	"The inter-class baseball tournament in a month.  
Winning class plays..."

	"VEGAS!  VEGAS!!!!"

	Yuuki frowned, then looked over at Fuyuki.

	Fuyuki licked his lips nervously, then said, "Hey, you 
can see that teacher down there, Yukari-sensei, totally 
naked."  He pointed out the window.

	The Video Club rushed over to the window and began 
staring, while Imadori tried to stop them.  "No, don't stare 
at her, she's a teacher!" he said.

	Sagano suppressed a giggle.

	"And that's everything for now."  Yuuki paused.  "Oh 
yes, our teacher is here."  Tani-sensei waved.  

	"Everyone come to order!"

	The window riot continued.  

	Yuuki contemplated her options.  Perhaps she could...

	Yoshidayama froze up.  "Hey, look at the babe!" he 
said.

	"Man, what a looker!," Ishiyama said.

	Various hoots and appreciative noises followed.

	"She's waving at us!  Holy shit!" Shin said, waving 
back.

	Curious, Yuuki stepped over to the windows.  "Oh, it's 
Yuri-sensei."

	"SHE TEACHES HERE?  How do I transfer?" Shin 
asked.

	Tani-sensei blinked.  "Yurippe is here?"

	Suddenly, the Video Club swarmed around him like 
hornets.  "You already have a pet nickname for the new 
teacher?," Ishiyama asked in a sort of awe.

	"She's his girlfriend," Yuuki said, striding back to the 
podium.

	"But...I know she didn't teach here before the break, as 
she's not in our database of hot teachers!," Shin said.

	It suddenly hit Tani-sensei that multiple of his students 
knew about his relationship with Tae and Yuri, and might 
blab.  This would have to be dealt with.

	"She is a master baker, not a school teacher per se," 
Tani-sensei said quickly.  "And I've known her since junior 
high."

	"You never mentioned a hot girlfriend before!  This 
messes up all our relative scales," Shin grumbled.  "I'm 
going to have redo the entire scale."

	"The wise man adapts to surprises," Buddha said.

	Yuri now came in, holding a box wrapped in a 
flowered cloth.  "Tanisa, you forgot your lunch."

	"A lunch made by a master baker...there is no justice," 
Yoshidayama croaked out, tears in his eyes.

	The Video Club began to sob with envy.

	"Just remember, guys, ladies like the smart men, so 
study hard!" Yuri said, posing in her long skirt and heavy 
jacket and ski-cap, cuddled up to Tani-sensei's arm, then 
kissed his cheek.

	Mikoto said, "Amen!", then blew Hanai a kiss.  He 
blew one back, looking a little embarrassed.

	This got many ooohs and aaahs.  Shigeo, feeling 
emboldened, blew a kiss to Madoka; unfortunately, she 
didn't notice, as she was looking at Tani and Yuri a little 
enviously.  Ditto for Kazuya's effort to blow a kiss across 
the room to Nagayama.  

	Eri turned to look over at Harima.  Not that she 
wanted him to do anything that cheesily romantic, mind 
you, but...

	He held up a palmed piece of paper, showing the two 
of them kissing, while his free hand pointed towards where 
several of her security people were hiding badly.  

	She smiled a little at that, then quickly tried to draw a 
follow up picture.  Unfortunately, it looked to her rather 
more like stick people trying to spawn, so she had to 
crumple it up and try again.

	Tenma turned around, hoping to get a kiss blown to 
her, but Karasuma was staring out the window, lost in 
thought.  She tugged his arm, but he didn't notice.  She 
tugged a little harder, but that didn't help.  She tried tugging 
REALLY HARD, but this only tore the end of his sleeve.  
"Ahh, your uniform!"

	"I needed a new one anyway," he said, finally turning 
to her.

	But the moment was gone.

	Yuri looked very happy and very embarrassed as she 
waved to everyone.  "It's nice to meet you all!  But I'd 
better get out of Tanisa's way.  Yakumo-san and I are going 
to be opening a restaurant soon, I hope you'll come see us!"

	"GOD WILLS IT!," the Video Club shouted.

	Imadori suddenly looked very worried.

	Akira looked thoughtful.

	Yuri now quickly ran off.

	"Okay, let's get down to business," Tani-sensei said.  
"It's ENGLISH time."

	 Or as Eri thought of it, surreptitiously try to draw 
something since she could do the class in her sleep time.  

***************
	
	Down in 1-C, Class President Himeko said, "Today's 
announcement is that our classmate Yakumo is going to 
need cute costume-wearing waitresses for a cafe she's 
going to be running.  If you need a job or just want to have 
some fun, talk to her."

	Yakumo felt embarrassed as everyone began 
whispering and many looked at her curiously.  Sara patted 
her arm and said quietly, "I told her so you wouldn't have to 
go round and ask."

	"It's going to be animal-themed," Inaba said excitedly.  
"And there will be lots of good food!  And cute guy 
customers to hit on!"

	Class President Himeko turned to the waiting teacher, 
Hibino-sensei.  "Okay, all done, sensei."

	Short with long blonde hair, Hibino-sensei taught 
English because she'd lived in New York City for a while, 
working as a professional dancer.  She smiled at her 
students.  "Okay, everyone, let's..."

	Then she noticed part of a head peeking in the 
doorway.  "Hello?" she asked.

	Yuri stood in the doorway, coming halfway-in.  "I just 
need to talk to one of your students for a second."

	"Make it quick," Hibino-sensei said, wondering who 
she was.

	"Yakumo-san, can you come by my place tonight?  
We should make more plans for our restaurant," Yuri said.  
"That's all."

	"I will, sensei," Yakumo said.

	Everyone stared at Yuri, including the teacher, then at 
Yakumo, who blushed a little.

	Yuri waved and ran off.

	"Is she a relative?" Hibino-sensei asked Yakumo 
curiously.  "Your parents never seem to come to anything 
and..."

	"She...," Yakumo hesitated.  How to explain it?  "She's 
my business mentor.  For my restaurant."

	"Not bad looking at all," Hibino-sensei said 
thoughtfully.  "Kind of shy, though.  Well, we will talk 
about food and cooking and restaurants in English today in 
honor of your endeavour."

	"Okay," Yakumo said in English.

	"Fine with me," Sara said in English, smiling.

	"It's always fine with you," Inaba grumbled in 
Japanese.

	"At least she's not teaching us how to mock her ex-
boyfriend in English for once," Satsuki whispered in 
Japanese.

	"I heard that," Hibino-sensei said.  "In the future, you 
will learn how to mock Tawaraya's boyfriend instead."

	"..."

	"But for now...food."

***************

	"You can't all go running off to her restaurant just 
because she's good looking.  She's working with one of my 
rivals," Imadori said to the assembled club at lunch.

	"Sure we can," Shin said.  "Your rival she's working 
for is ALSO good looking.  Possibly the hottest girl in the 
entire First Year.  Sounds like a double win to me."

	Imadori's eyebrows twitched.  "We're going to have 
cute female staff for our shop when we're not able to work, 
you know."

	"Yes, when we're NOT THERE," Ishiyama pointed 
out.

	"Hey, you have a girlfriend now, it's not an issue for 
you," Yoshidayama said.  

	"We're not...I mean we...," Ishiyama tried to figure out 
how to explain this.  Though maybe confidence would be 
good.

	"She calls you by a cutesy nickname, clings to your 
arm, wants to impress you," Yoshidayama said.  "Hell, 
you're going on a date with her this Friday.  It's a double 
date with me and Jenny, but everyone needs a master to 
learn from."

	Ishiyama began smoking from his ears.  Yoshidayama 
a master?  HAH.

	"So Jenny said yes to you already?" Buddha asked 
Yoshidayama a little skeptically.

	"Gonna talk to her tonight; she was busy getting ready 
for school yesterday," Yoshidayama lied.  He needed to get 
her phone number, actually...

	"So who is the girlfriend?," Imadori asked curiously.

	"Rinko," Yoshidayama said.  "We must now all call 
him Bishi-san, as she does."  He grinned.

	"Bishi-san," Imadori said, grinning a little.  "That 
works."

	Stupid universe hates me, Ishiyama thought.  
"Anyway, back to our planning, right?"

	"No, we must blow the rest of today on teasing you," 
Buddha said.  "It's our duty as your friends."

	Well, it's better than being 'Big Nose' or 'hey you', 
Ishiyama told himself.  Right?

***************

	"We need a counter-tactic," Akira said to Harima.  
Harima, Akira, Nara, Hanai, and Mikoto were lurking 
together at lunch, discussing possible ways to deal with the 
threat from the Yakumo faction.

	"Hmm, that's not hard."

	"Well, if we could talk Itoko-sensei into endorsing us, 
that might neutralize the sexy older woman advantage.  Or 
Tae-sensei, since she's friendly to you.  Or both."

	Harima shook his head.  "Fighting someone with their 
own skills or weapons is a bad idea.  They're usually 
specialized and you're not."

	"Also, I don't think Tae-sensei will want to oppose 
Yuri-sensei," Mikoto said.

	"And Itoko will do whatever FUCKS ME UP THE 
ASS the most," Harima said.  "I'm surprised she's not 
already in here in a waitress outfit."

	"Sasakura-sensei is probably still trying to get it to fit 
right," Akira said.  "So do you have another suggestion?"

	"Well, the logical countermeasure is to try to attract 
female business to the cycle shop; tap the untapped 
market," Hanai said.

	"To a cycle shop?" Akira asked, dubiously.  Though if 
he stripped down and showed off his...no, don't think about 
that.  Her eyes crossed just a moment, then she thought 
about him and Nara showing off and...no, no, no.

	"I have a secret weapon for attracting women to 
anything," Harima said.

	Mikoto teased, "Vain much?"

	"Not me," Harima said.

	"Wait, you mean..."

	"Tomorrow, we STRIKE," Harima said.  "When do 
we find out where our shop is?"

	"Pretty soon," Akira said.  "Nakamura is supposed to 
call us once Miki-san finds a good shop for us."

	"Alright."  Harima rubbed his hands in anticipation.  
Everything was going to go his way.  He could feel it.  

**********

	Tani-sensei had learned his lesson.  Don't leave the 
nice hand made food out in the open where someone could 
make off with it.  So he'd concealed it inside his desk 
drawer.  

	"So, you think you're cool?," Kaitou-sensei asked 
grumpily as he opened his box which had a big mess of 
spanish rice and sausage in it.  Tani-sensei thought it 
smelled pretty good, if not as good as his own elaborate 
meal.

	"I know I'm cool," Tani-sensei said, feeling 
triumphant for once.  He started eating.

	"Well, we'll see," Kaitou-sensei said grimly.

	Worrying about what Kaitou-sensei might be talking 
about tainted Tani-sensei's meal.

	But not enough to ruin it.

**********

	"Sensei, are you busy?", Eri asked Sasakura-sensei, 
who was eating lunch with Itoko in the Art Lab.

	"Need help with a picture?" Sasakura-sensei asked.

	Eri started, then looked down at the notepad she was 
holding and realized it was pretty obvious, really.  "Yes."

	"Come on over," Sasakura-sensei said as Eri came 
over to her.

	"I'm trying to draw kissing, but it's not working well."  
She showed off the sketches.

	"Hmm, everyone's so skinny," Sasakura-sensei said 
thoughtfully.  "Itoko-chan and I can pose for you; a live 
model always helps."

	"I...hey!," Itoko said as Sasakura came over and sat 
down in her lap.

	"She knows, silly," Sasakura-sensei said, then leaned 
up and kissed Itoko, who looked pole-axed.

	Eri began quickly drawing, feeling a little jealous they 
could kiss so easily.

	The final result was a lot better than her efforts to 
draw her and Kenji kissing.  But if she could use this as a 
model...  Now she just had to find time to finish it before 
Kenji forgot everything that had happened today; he could 
be a bit of a goldfish-brain at times...

*************
		
	Yoshidayama had a sudden moment of brilliance.  It 
was so brilliant that he stunned even himself.  Of course 
Harry would know Jenny's number.

	It felt less brilliant when he saw the swarm of women 
surrounding Harry when classes were over.  But he just 
shoved his way forwards.  "Yo, Harry."

	"What's up, Yoshi-san?" Harry asked.  

	"I need your sister's number; I had a glitch and I lost it 
on my phone," he said.  

	"Hmm?  Sure," Harry said.  No doubt this would lead 
to more trouble, but if Jenny didn't learn to stop being 
stupid, it would just bite her more in the future.  He quickly 
scribbled it out for Yoshidayama.

	"Thanks, man," Yoshidayama said, then suddenly had 
a feeling of total, absolute doom.  He'd felt doom before, 
but this level of doom...

	Time seemed to slow down as he strained his senses, 
but all he could hear was the sound of very soft, gentle, 
ladylike footsteps.  The kind you'd expect someone like 
Rinko or Eri or Karen to make.  But why would there be...

	He suddenly realized he was standing in the middle of 
a flock of women around Harry and that said flock was 
between Harry and the door.  And that Karen was Harry's 
girlfriend.

	Yoshidayama flung himself to the floor, and didn't 
raise his head until the screaming stopped.  He got stepped 
on at one point, but that was fine compared to what could 
have happened.

	When the room fell silent, Harry was gone and there 
were cute women stacked neatly in piles.  

	Yoshidayama gave a great sigh of relief, then went off 
to sit down in the corner and make a call, nervously.  

	Finally, the phone rang.  "Hey, Jenny-san," he began.

	"DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Keiichi 
yelled so loudly that Yoshidayama's hair bent parallel to the 
ground.  Click.

	Okay, call her later when my ears stop ringing, he 
thought.

**************
	
	"Yeah, I have just the perfect idea," Haruka said to 
Harima on the phone.  "See you at school tomorrow."

	"Hmm, that does remind me..."

	"Missing school is usually better than attending, it's so 
boring and I know it already," Haruka said.  "So I'm happy 
to miss some for the cause."

	Harima grinned.  "I wish I could skip more, but I've 
got to make sure I get into art school."

	"You're getting suspiciously respectable," Haruka said 
as Harima roared around a corner.  "If you want to come 
over right now, we can practice."

	"I gotta play taxi to help pay my damn debts," Harima 
said.

	"Hey, if you need money help...," Haruka began.

	"No, I couldn't take your money.  And also, you don't 
have enough money to pay my debts even if I did.  I think I 
owe more than Taiwan makes in a year," Harima said.	
	
	"You been building houses with rooms made of 
diamond again?," Haruka teased.

	"It sure feels like it," Harima grumbled.  "Riding with 
this sidecar makes me feel kind of weird, too."

	"Yes, they hurt your maneuverability," Haruka said as 
Harima dodged a car which was about to clip off his 
sidecar.

	"Yeah.  Well, I'm almost at the school, so got to sign 
off," Harima said.  "See you tomorrow."

	"See you."  Click.

	Harima pulled up into the drive and around the front 
of the school.  Much as he'd feared, there were dozens of 
students there and they all stared at him.  Sakaki, Osaka, 
and Chiyo came down the stairs.  "We're ready!," Chiyo 
said.  

	"The sidecar isn't THAT big," Harima said.

	"Sakaki-san will ride behind you, while we ride in the 
side-car," Chiyo said.

	Harima felt like he was driving the cycle equivalent of 
a clown car now, but he let the two smaller kids pile into 
his sidecar while Sakaki hopped on behind him and put her 
arms around his waist.  

	Lots and lots of people STARED at them.  He could 
see this one short-haired girl angrily shaking her fist at him.  
What the hell was that about?

	Not his damn problem.  Not today.  He had to go take 
the zombie and Mihama-san home, then Sakaki was going 
to meet Iori and he was going to go do manga with 
Yakumo.  Hopefully.

**************

	"Do you know much about explosives?" Sagano asked 
Itoko-sensei.

	"No blowing up your cousin," Itoko said.

	"Dammit."

**************

	"She's gone off to Yuri-sensei's place to plan her 
kunitori," Tenma said.  "Don't worry, I'll cook dinner."

	The sweet agony of Tenma's cooking, Harima thought.  
How often I have longed for it.  "Okay," he said.  I'll get 
used to it eventually, I expect, he thought.

	"You can eat with us too, Sakaki-san," Tenma said.

	"Thank you," she said.  She was shaking with 
excitement at the idea of meeting Iori.

	They took her into the backyard, where Iori was 
snoozing in the grass.

	He suddenly found himself enfolded in her arms as 
she began to roll around on the ground with joy.  The sound 
of kitty yowling reached up to heaven.

	But heaven was silent in reply.

	Harima stared mindlessly, then decided to go draw.  

***************

	Tae-sensei poured Yakumo some tea.  "Don't mind 
me, I'll be in the other room watching TV."

	"Thank you, Tae-chin," Yuri said, kissing her on the 
cheek.

	"So you're living together?" Yakumo asked.

	"I don't have my own place yet, so sometimes I stay 
with Tae-chin and sometimes with Tanisa," Yuri said.  "I'm 
hoping to find my own place soon, though, so I don't have 
to be a burden.  Though likely we'll all be around each 
other's places all the time anyway."

	They both knealt next to a low table, sipping their tea.  

	"If you need me, just yell," Tae-sensei said, kissing 
Yuri back, then heading out.

	Yakumo felt a little envious; things seemed to work 
out so smoothly for them.  But she told herself not to be 
jealous.

	"Come up with any plans?" Yuri asked.

	"Yes, I discussed some ideas with my friends," 
Yakumo said.  She relayed them to Yuri.

	"That sounds fun to me," Yuri said.  "I'll see about 
renting costumes, then.  And interviewing the day staff.  
Let me know once you hire enough of your friends for the 
evening staff."

	"I will," Yakumo said.

	"So...," Yuri hesitated.

	"You want to know about Kenji and I," Yakumo said 
softly.

	Yuri jumped, then laughed nervously.  "Yes."

	Yakumo stared at her now cooling tea, then sipped it.  
"I...we're still together and I still...My feelings are the same.  
But I'm not sure what's going on.  This whole contest..."

	"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," 
Yuri said kindly.

	Yakumo brooded into her cup a little longer, then 
finished it off.  "What's it like, loving Tae-sensei?"

	Yuri's eyes widened and she looked a little flustered.  
"She's so strong and gentle and when she holds you, you 
feel really safe," Yuri said softly.  

	Being with Kenji felt like that, sometimes.  But he was 
so...why did he...

	Yakumo suddenly flashed back to dancing with Eri on 
the stage.  She had seemed so confident, so strong...she and 
Kenji were a lot like each other.  And when Eri had been a 
boy and kissed her, it felt like...like...

	She turned red as her body began giving her weird 
signals.

	"Are you okay?" Yuri asked, worried.

	"I'm fine, sensei," Yakumo said.  "I should 
probably..."

	"You'll stay for dinner, won't you?  I fixed enough for 
four," Yuri said.  

	"I...okay," Yakumo said.  "May I have some more 
tea?"

	"Yes, of course," Yuri said, rising.  "I'll go get you 
some."

	And then she was gone, leaving Yakumo to her 
thoughts.

***************

	"Doesn't she ever get tired?" Tenma asked Harima, 
who was sitting on the back porch, drawing.  Sakaki was 
still rolling around with Iori, who had passed out from the 
stress.

	There was a distant flapping of wings, but they were 
too focused on the rolling Sakaki to notice.

	"Apparently not," Harima said.

	"Sakaki-san, it's dinner time!" Tenma yelled.

	No response.

	"She'll get hungry later," Tenma fretted.  

	Mai walked up.  "Hey, Tsukamoto-san, Harima-san."

	"Hi!," Tenma said, waving.  "What brings you over, 
Mai-chan?"

	"I need to...umm...," Mai suddenly looked very 
nervous, then saw Sakaki.  "What the...what is she doing to 
that poor cat?"

	"I think she's a little overenthusiastic," Tenma said.  
"She loves cats."

	"I...see," Mai said.

	"Did you need help with your homework or 
something?," Tenma asked Mai.

	"Yes, of course," she said nervously.

	Harima studied her.  The woman was hiding 
something.  Was this part of some plot to get her 
presidency back?  He'd have to keep an eye on her.

	"I'd be glad to help," Tenma said generously.  "Kenji-
kun, can you get Sakaki-san to come in and eat?"

	He scratched his head and rose.  "I can try."

	"Mai-chan, come on in with me and we'll get dinner 
ready for the four of us."

	Mai went inside with Tenma, leaving Harima the task 
of trying to snap Sakaki out of it.  He tried grabbing Iori, 
but she kept rolling out of the way.

	Efforts to restrain her just got him rolled into the 
bushes.

	He didn't want to just beat her unconscious after she'd 
helped him, but...

	There was one thing.

	"Hey, look, it's a cat the size of a horse!  You could 
ride it!," Harima proclaimed.

	Sakaki put Iori down and leaped to her feet.  "Where?"

	Harima darted in and got Iori.  "Time for your dinner," 
he said to Iori. 

	"But the giant cat...," Sakaki said weakly.

	"Dinner for humans inside," Harima said.

	She headed in and he gave a sigh of relief.  Tenma's 
cooking would calm her down.  Possibly to 
unconsciousness.

*****************

	Yoshidayama decided that enough time had passed for 
him to have another shot.

	Then he got a text message on his phone.  'Don't even 
THINK about it--K'.  

	He grimaced, feeling angry.  This fool was standing 
between him and Jenny and he wasn't going to tolerate this 
any more. It was time to find him and kick his ass once and 
for all.

	He got halfway to the door when his mother said, 
"Where do you think you're going at this hour?"

	"I have to kick some ass," Yoshidayama said.

	"Not tonight.  I have four babies for you to tend while 
I watch Survivor:  Ithilien and Who Wants To Marry a 
Psychopath?," she said.  "So get to it.  Your future is as 
king of baby-watching."

	"But I..."

	"Too late." She handed him two bottles.  "You can 
make a crown out of these if you want.  Get to it."

	Dammit, Yoshidyama thought.  I'll do it tomorrow.

***************

	Eri finally finished her picture, studying it carefully.  
Perfect, just perfect.  Sure, she couldn't use it until school, 
and even then, best to save it for a special occasion so 
Kenji didn't get a swelled head or anything.

	But it was ready and this time, she thought it looked 
great.  

	She carefully fitted it into a clear plastic sleeve to keep 
it from being damaged, stashed it with her school gear, then 
turned to finally do her homework.

**************

	Mai peeled herself off the floor; Sakaki, Harima, and 
Tenma were out cold, but though her stomach grumbled 
and cursed, she was conscious.  She heard an odd noise in 
the kitchen, then realized it was cat sounds.

	She quickly found Iori and carried him out to the 
porch.  "Hey there," she said softly.  "So do you talk or did 
I just dream something at random?"

	Iori made meowing noises at Mai.  They ALMOST 
made sense, like a language she didn't speak.

	Mai looked thoughtfully.  "If you understand me, nod 
your head."

	Iori nodded his head.

	"Do you speak Japanese?"

	He shook his head.

	"But...oh, I see, you can't speak it," Mai said.

	Iori nodded vigorously.

	Mai licked her lips.  "This is going to make things 
difficult."

	Iori nodded again.

	If Harima could really speak to animals...but she 
couldn't afford to let a total moron like Harima know her 
secret ID.  "This is going to be difficult."

	Iori nodded.

	"What is?" Yakumo asked.

	Mai half jumped out of her skin.  "Oh, just chatting 
with Iori.  Your sister's cooking took us all down for the 
count."

	"Oh dear," Yakumo said, fretting.  She knealt and 
petted Iori.  "Is he being a good boy to you, Ootsuka-san?"

	"Very good," Mai said, smiling.  She thought a 
moment.  "You wouldn't happen to know anything about 
Tiki Gods, would you?"

	"There's one in Father's art collection," Yakumo said.  

	"May I see it?" Mai asked.  She had a sudden feeling 
there was probably going to be eeeeevil in it.

	Yakumo nodded and took her upstairs to a room full 
of all sorts of native art from various countries, from devil 
masks to statuettes of herders to a three foot tall tiki statue.

	Mai tried to sense evil, not that she knew how, but 
didn't sense any.  

	Yakumo looked over at Mai and said hesitantly, "If 
you're feeling constipated..."

	Mai turned red.  "No, I'm not constipated."

	Iori now jumped onto the tiki; Yakumo grabbed him 
quickly.  "Don't touch Father's art," she said urgently to 
him.  He wiggled loose and jumped to Mai's shoulder.

	"I was just...nothing," Mai mumbled.

	"Father was very disappointed it didn't turn out to be 
full of evil or a curse or something," Yakumo said.  "But it 
has no mind."

	"It has no...oh," Mai said softly.  Yuuki hadn't been 
joking, apparently.  "So there's no danger it will suddenly 
rise up and attack us or anything."

	"No danger," Yakumo said.  "No one has ever been 
attacked by the art."

	Mai grumbled, feeling she was being teased.  And a 
little disappointed; she was raring for a fight to let out her 
frustrations and show off her powers.  "Can you talk to 
Iori?"

	"I can feel his thoughts," Yakumo said.  "And he 
understands me.  I'd like to learn to talk to all animals."

	I just need to talk to one, Mai thought.  "What's he 
thinking right now?"  She held him to her chest in her arms.

	"How...oh my," Yakumo said, a little embarrassed.

	"What?"

	"Your breasts are nice and soft," Yakumo mumbled.

	"..."  Mai turned red.

	Iori purred.

	"I...umm..."  Mai made herself focus.  "So your Father 
collects cursed items?"

	"Yes," Yakumo said.  "But none of them ever had a 
real curse.  Or if they did, we didn't notice anything 
different," Yakumo continued, looking around.

	Mai wondered, suddenly, if Yakumo was another one 
of the...the condiment warriors.  Surely there would be 
others.  She'd be the leader, of course.  

	Really, maybe it was better losing the class 
presidency, so she'd have time for this.

	She was still going to crush Imadori, though.

***************
	
	"You look perky," Tenma said to Eri as the two of 
them walked to school with Akira and Mikoto.

	"Just having a good day," Eri said.  She was feeling 
excited about her picture.  It just had come out so well, 
really.

	"Did Kenji sneak into your place last night?" Mikoto 
teased.

	Eri looked a little flustered, but said, still cheerful, 
"No."

	"But it would have been nice," Mikoto teased.

	"Yes," Eri said, then looked more flustered.

	"I...," Akira began, then stopped.  "I have an idea."

	"Hmm?"

	"Later," Akira said.  "I need to think on it."

*************

	Harima roared into the school parking lot; he was 
going to have to set out earlier, which would suck, in order 
to get his passengers to school on time.  As it was, he and 
Yakumo were going to be slightly late.  "Sorry, Yakumo-
san," he said as he pulled into a parking slot.

	Haruka's bike was already here, he noticed, and 
winced.  Dammit, this had better go smoothly.

	"It's okay," Yakumo said.  Hesitantly, she kissed his 
cheek, then ran off.

	He ambled upstairs; couldn't afford to show panic, it 
was like red meat for the wolves.

	As he approached the class, he could hear the sounds 
of girls twittering; sounded like Haruka had the desired 
impact on the class.  Excellent.

	The ladies were swarming around Haruka, who was 
singing the praises of the cycle-shop to be and offering 
lessons for the prettiest.  It was impressive to watch him 
work, Harima thought.  He could outmack even Harry or 
Imadori, Harima was sure.

	"Oh, Kenji-san!" Haruka said, waving.

	Harima ambled over; to his surprise, Haruka put an 
arm around his waist.  "We'll be working VERY closely 
together at the shop," Haruka said, winking at the mob of 
women.

	Harima's brain ground slowly.  Wait, was he 
insinuating...

	Several women gave happy cries, and he heard the 
word 'yaoi' circulating in whispers.  Harima looked calm, 
but inside his head, he began to freak out.

	Haruka can't really be hitting on me, Harima thought.  
It's just a lie to appeal to the women.  Though he is holding 
me pretty firmly; I hadn't realized he had such a strong 
grip.

	Eri was looking at him funny with crossed eyes.  Was 
she pissed?  Or turned on?  Or sick or something.  He had 
to clarify things.

	"We make a good team," Harima said, instantly 
regretting it as more 'ooooo' went round the room.  "But 
don't expect us to get naked when people are watching."  
Where the hell did that come from?  That didn't even make 
sense, did it?

	"When people are watching," Haruka said, winking to 
the ladies.

	Sagano's eyes crossed and she fainted, falling over 
onto Fuyuki, who caught her.

	"Hiroyoshi-san and I don't get naked...in 
public...either," Suga teased.

	"Ryuuhei!," Asou protested, flustered.

	Dammit, no Keiichi, but Jenny's not answering, 
Yoshidayama thought as he tried making another call.

	"Oh really?" Haruka asked Suga.  "Know anything 
about cycles?"  Haruka winked at Suga, who laughed.

	"Well, I'm sure we could learn...," Suga teased.  

	Asou and Harima both looked like they were about to 
fall over and die.

	"I have a girlfriend!," Asou said firmly.

	"Well, that means she gets to help, right?" Haruka 
said.

	"I'll help!" someone shouted from the woman-mob.

	"And me!"

	"And me!"

	The room was full of squeals.

	"Amusing as it is to watch you two embarrass your 
friends to death," Yuuki said, "I'm afraid this is not an 
advertising class.  We need to get underway.  Thank you 
for visiting us, Haruka-san."

	Haruka let go of Harima and turned to Yuuki, coming 
over to look down at her.  "What a lovely class president."

	Yuuki's eyes widened and she looked slightly 
flustered.  "You flatter me, but I really..."

	Fuyuki frowned, while Sagano stared, mouth open.

	"Come by the shop some time, and I'll give you a free 
ride, pretty lady," Haruka said smoothly.

	Yuuki told herself to be strong, but she felt weak-
kneed.  No, don't let this guy do this, she told herself.  He 
says this to all the women, I'm sure.

	Sagano started to say something, but only "only" came 
out before Fuyuki suppressed her.

	"That's enough," Hanai said to Haruka.  "We need to 
get started.  Shouldn't you be in school?"

	"Should and is are not twins," Haruka said, grinning.  
"But I'll head out."  He very lightly punched Harima's 
shoulder.  "I'll see you this evening; we've got to make our 
'secret plans'."  He said this in a very insinuative tone.

	He's just teasing, Harima told himself.  Surely he's 
not...no, he likes women a lot.  No guy would flirt so much 
with them if he didn't.  I'm just imagining things.  

	Class now got underway.

**************

	It was only as Takahashi Seta, the new class president 
of 2-D (a tall, thin blond with glasses) was calling the class 
to order that it suddenly hit Kaitou that he needed to have 
made his arrangements to happen when Tani could actually 
SEE and get jealous.

	Well, rumors would drift, right?  

	This hadn't been cheap, so they had better drift.  His 
niece drove a hard bargain.  But he'd seen her friends, so he 
knew he wasn't getting ripped off this time.    

	Right?

	Kaitou was just about to get up and start teaching 
history when the door flew open, and two women came in.  
One was tall and statuesque and very pale--pale eyes (blue-
grey), pale (white in fact) hair and pale skin.  She was 
pretty clearly not Japanese.  She wore a white suit-dress. 
She looked extremely impassive, like an enlightened 
Buddha.  But prettier.  MUCH prettier.

 	The other was short and slender with reddish-brown 
hair tied in two side pony-tails, though her tennis visor hid 
a lot of her hair.  She had a racquet in one hand and a carry 
bag in the other.  

	"Kaitou-sama!," she said spritely, then elbowed the 
other girl.

	"Kaitou-sama," the other girl said in extremely even 
tones, almost like a robot.

	Tougo began to study the two women; many of the 
other guys were also 'studying' them.  

	"Hello, ladies," he said, smiling brightly.  The pale girl 
was a little stiff, but really this was perfect.  "How are you 
today?"

	"I am fine," the pale one said flatly.

	"I'm doing great, thanks!  You forgot your lunch, 
Kaitou-sama!"  The tennis player posed cutely, then held 
the bag forwards, then elbowed the other girl, who now 
opened her suitcase and pulled out a pie in a transparent-
plastic covered dish, which she set on the podium.  The 
tennis player began pulling boxes out of her bag.  

	There was a great gasp of collective breath-drawing.  
Kaitou had to grin.  This would get around.  Excellent.  
"Thank you.  I was so eager to get here and teach that it 
slipped my mind.  Your cooking is always so good."

	The tennis player smiled cutely.  "Thank you, Kaitou-
sama!  You should thank Rita too."

	"Thank you, Rita, for the pie," Kaitou said, giving her 
a little bow.

	She said, with just a touch more warmth, "You're 
welcome."

	"Come on, we shouldn't take up more of his time!," 
the tennis player said, smiled cutely again, then dragged off 
the slightly confused Rita.

	Whispers flew around the room; Kaitou smiled.  
Excellent.  Let's see what Tani says about THIS!

**************

	This was not looking good, Imadori thought.  He had 
to somehow counteract the two onslaughts.  Most of his 
best ideas only would appeal to his and Buddha's club, who 
would already be coming anyway.  

	Hmmm.

	But wait, the goal wasn't to see who could get the 
most people in 2-C to come, it was to make money...

	There were entire untapped markets of kids with 
disposable income the others would never even think to tap 
into.

	It was time to call Kosuke and get him to help, 
Imadori decided.  He was a smart kid; he'd make a good 
point man, right?  And giving him a cut might help make 
Karen less angry; Imadori felt bad about her being angry at 
him.  If only he could tell her everything...but he couldn't.  
Not yet, anyway.

	Which reminded him...he needed to destroy Harry, 
pronto.

	Somehow.

	"I've got pictures, thanks to Otaru in 2-D," Shin 
announced suddenly.

	Everyone turned to him.  "Pictures?"

	"Of Kaitou-sensei's girlfriends," Shin said.

	"You lie.  That evil man?  Have a girlfriend?" 
Ishiyama asked.

	"Well, Bishi-san," Shin said.  Ishiyama winced, but 
only a little.  Shin grinned.  "He didn't even have to change 
his name to do it.  Take a look at this."

	Everyone gathered around, studying the pictures.

	Then Rinko tapped Ishiyama on the shoulder.  "Do 
you mind...do you think..."  

	"Go with your girlfriend," Imadori said to him.

	Rinko blushed.  "We're not...I mean..."

	"Go."

	They went.

	Everyone else continued to study the pictures.  
Buddha said, "Hmm, college students."

	"What?" Imadori asked. "I mean, they don't look 
hugely old, but how can you tell?"

	"Torio University tennis club uniform," Buddha said.

	"Nice detective work," Imadori said.  "Well, he's got 
good taste, I'd say.  The tennis player is kind of skinny, but 
the other girl makes up for it, and she is cute."

	The rest of the club rather agreed.  

	The next teacher now came in, and it was time for 
class.

**************

	"Why the frowny face?" Sagano asked Yuuki at lunch.

	"I shouldn't have just stood there and gotten all blushy 
just because he was hitting on me," Yuuki muttered 
through a mouthful of rice and fish.

	Fuyuki twirled his sausage about; it had been trimmed 
into the shape of an octopus by his mother; she always did 
that.  "Eh, he hits on everything that moves.  Why worry 
about it?"  He sounded a little jealous, though.  "I'm 
surprised your beauty doesn't attract more men."

	Yuuki felt a little flustered at that.

	Karasuma stared at the sausage, his eyes tracking it, 
frozen with his chopsticks (full of rice, a sliced pepper and 
very thinly sliced pork) halfway to his mouth.

	"I'm only jealous he didn't hit on me," Sagano said.

	Yuuki felt a burst of irritation.  Megumi could be so 
sweet and loving and then so totally THOUGHTLESS.  
"I'm the class president.  I can't lead if some guy I've never 
even met before can make me go all googly-eyed by 
fluttering his eyelashes at me, even if he is gorgeous."

	Beat.

	"I didn't say that," Yuuki mumbled.

	Fuyuki moved the sausage towards his mouth; 
Karasuma continued to stare, apparently fascinated.  "Well, 
I don't want him hitting on you either."  He frowned and 
paused just before eating the sausage.

	"Karasuma, are you lusting after Fuyuki's sausage?" 
Sagano asked.

	Smoke came out of Fuyuki's ears and Yuuki's glasses 
fogged over.

	"It reminds me of Tenma," Karasuma said.  "It's cute 
like her."

	"So my boyfriend is about to put Tenma in his mouth 
in front of her boyfriend," Sagano said thoughtfully.

	Fuyuki froze up, then tossed the sausage to Karasuma.  
"Do what you will!"

	Karasuma tucked it into his pocket.  "It will remind 
me of her."

	Yuuki quietly felt her brain blow out and fell over.

	Sagano nodded.  Perfectly logical.  What a good 
boyfriend he is, she thought.  Now she had an idea.

**************
	
	Tani stared across the table at Kaitou's huge lunch and 
felt a little envy.  But also...  "How can you possibly eat 
that much?"

	"Food made out of love, you can eat any amount of 
it," Kaitou-sensei said.

	Tani wasn't so sure of that.  "So you're going to eat it 
all?"

	"Of course," Kaitou said.

	This should be interesting, Tani-sensei thought.  
"Well, let's get everyone to watch.  As I don't think you can 
manage it."

	"I can and I WILL eat all of this," Kaitou-sensei said.  
"You're just jealous you don't get food this good from your 
girlfriend."

	Other teachers began gathering around, and Vice 
Principal Aino now came up.  "So, you're going to prove 
the food made of love theory, Kaitou-sensei?"

	"Yes," he said nervously.

	"I will time you."  Click.  "Commence eating."

	Kaitou gulped.  Oh boy.

**************  
	
	"Finished the big plan, whatever it is?," Mikoto asked 
Akira curiously as the two of them ate lunch with Nara, 
Tenma, and Eri.  

	"I haven't overcome certain hurdles yet," Akira said.  
The idea seemed more flawed as she thought about it, 
among the problems being that Nara and Harima passing 
for each other...even Nara's aunt Megumi could hardly 
accomplish that great a disguise.  Furthermore, as she 
thought about it, while the security didn't seem to care 
about Nara being near Eri, they'd probably take him (which 
would actually be Harima in disguise of course) being in 
the same bed with Eri...poorly.

	Akira studied Mikoto.  Maybe if Mikoto and Harima 
switched identities for a night...they wouldn't care if Eri 
and Mikoto slept together.  But short of turning Harima 
into a woman again...

	Eri, meanwhile, was trying to figure out why Harima 
and Hanai were eating lunch together.  Not that she 
minded, but it just seemed odd.  Also, her attempts to flash 
the picture to him weren't working, as he kept looking at 
Hanai instead of her.

	How to get his attention without anyone noticing...

	"Hey, Eri-chan, what's that in your hand?" Tenma 
asked.

	"NOTHING," Eri said firmly.

	"Eri-chan, I hate to tell you, but it is something," 
Tenma said.  "Let me see it."

	Eri clutched it to her chest.  "It's private."

	"I bet it's a love letter," Mikoto said teasingly.

	"It's not a letter!," Eri said desperately.

	Tenma grabbed at it.  "Show us!"

	Eri held it out of her reach, but now Mikoto and 
Tenma were both after it.  Then she felt a weird tugging on 
it, and she could see Tenma was staring at it very intently.  
She tried tugging back.

	Then, as everything hung in the balance, Tenma 
sneezed.  The paper flicked back and flew across the room, 
still in its sheath of plastic.  It hit Harima in the face, but 
that was only the pettiest of annoyances for him. 

	He picked it up curiously, then his eyes crossed, 
smoke came out of his ears, and he fell over.

	Eri froze up, wondering if this meant he really liked it 
too much to stay conscious or if it was terrible.

	Hanai reached for it even as Tenma gestured.  He 
snagged it and took a look at it.  His jaw dropped and he 
lost his grip.

	It flew at high speed, then whacked Tenma in the face.  
She tried to peel it off, but instead blundered into Eri and 
Mikoto, knocking them down.  The paper then fluttered off 
and Mikoto grabbed it.

	Mikoto could see it was a very nice picture of Eri in 
Onna-Harima's lap, kissing her fiercely.  Her eyes crossed.

	"Why are you all...," Eri began then looked at it.  
"Hey, wait, this..."  

	Now everyone was staring at her, and she just wanted 
to die.  Quickly, she shoved it into her bag before there 
could be any more trouble.  How did I not notice, she asked 
herself.  She'd gotten so worked up over it and then using 
two women as models...

	There was only one choice.  She had to get a male and 
a female model and redo it the RIGHT WAY, so Kenji 
wouldn't get the wrong idea.

	Though it was a pretty hot picture.

**********

	Kaitou-sensei felt like he was going to explode.  But 
he'd eaten it all.  EVERY BIT.  It was all so, so good, but 
too much goodness turns to badness, he'd found.  He was 
ready to burst.

	"Hmm, I'm impressed, I didn't think you could get this 
far," Tani-sensei said.

	"As I said, food cooked with love, you can eat any 
amount," Kaitou-sensei said, sneering a little.

	"Now you just have to eat the pie," Tani-sensei said.

	VP Aino nodded.  "Yes."

	Kaitou gulped, then sliced off a piece.  Nervously, he 
took a forkful.  And another.  And another.  

	He managed the first piece.  But the second...

	About halfway in, he turned very, very green.

	Someone shouted, "TAKE COVER!  HE'S GOING 
TO BLOW!"

	VP Aino moved with blinding speed, grabbing a 
trashcan and shoving Kaitou's face into it until he was 
done.

	"Obviously, the pie was lacking in love," VP Aino 
observed.

	"Obviously," Tani-sensei said.  "So now the garbage 
can is full of love?"

	"Obviously," VP Aino said sagely.

	Next time, I pay for less love, Kaitou-sensei told 
himself before he passed out.

**************

	"So what was all that flap about earlier?" Sagano 
asked Eri.

	"Nothing," Eri said quickly.  "You two busy tonight?"

	"We already...I mean we have...I mean...I'm faithful to 
my boyfriend!," Sagano said, growing more frantic each 
time she tried to start over.  She clung to his arm like a 
lion's jaws clamping down on a gazelle.  "I don't sleep with 
anyone else at all!  No matter how bad my thoughts are 
sometimes!"

	Fuyuki's eyes crossed from pain for a second, then he 
said, "Honey, I don't think that's what she's looking for."  
He felt somewhat stunned Megumi wasn't saying 
'BOOYAH' if that's what she thought, though.  Good for 
you, dear, he thought.  

	"I..you thought..."  Eri turned red.  "Maybe I should 
ask someone else."

	"No, no, it's fine, RIGHT, Megumi-san?" Fuyuki 
asked Sagano.

	"I'm sorry.  I'm a bad, bad person," Sagano mumbled.  
She breathed in and out.  "Do you need help with 
homework or something?  Or a band? Or moonlogic?"

	"I need a dating couple to pose for a picture," Eri said.  
"I tried drawing without models and it didn't go so well."

	"Oh, so they were all freaking over your bad art 
earlier?" Sagano asked.

	Eri nodded, embarrassedly.

	"Sure," Sagano said.  

	"Sounds like fun to me.  Should we come to your 
house?"

	"You can ride home with me," Eri said.  "The limo has 
plenty of room."

	"Do you mind if Yuuki comes with us?" Sagano 
asked.

	"That's fine," Eri said, sounding a little confused.

	"That...I mean...yeah," Sagano said.

	"Are you okay?" Eri asked, cocking her head slightly.

	"I am totally fine and not thinking about...over...at 
all," Sagano said.  

	Eri giggled briefly.  "Okay."  Then she headed off.

	Fuyuki cocked his head at Sagano.  "What's eating 
you?"

	"Oh, I just don't want to end up making Yuuki feel 
bad," Sagano said.  "Though given Eri has a boyfriend and 
a girlfriend too..."

	"I don't think they're like that," Fuyuki said.  "It's more 
of a love triangle."

	"Well, we've seen Eri kiss both of them," Sagano said.  
"So there's got to be something going on."

	"Yes, but she was a guy at the time," Fuyuki pointed 
out.  

	Sagano tapped her cheek.  "Hmm, this does pose an 
issue."

	"Eh?"

	"Well, you see, if things continue like this, the class 
will become imbalanced, as we need some two guy, one 
girl threesomes to balance the two girls and one guy ones, 
otherwise, we'll end up with extra guys who can't get a 
girlfriend and then the population of our class will plummet 
over the years due to reproduction imbalances," Sagano 
said.  

	Fuyuki blinked.  "Reproduction imbalances?"

	Sagano nodded sagely; Fuyuki decided it best to just 
move on to other topics.

	But the next class started before they could move on, 
anyway.

***************

	Akira scratched out iteration 20 of the plan, then 
flipped the page of her notebook, only about 1/8th paying 
attention to Chemistry, which was all things she already 
knew anyway.  

	There had to be some way to give those two some 
time together without the security men.  And having her 
own house, she was the logical person to manipulate events 
to bring it to pass.  And it would have to involve disguising 
Harima.  But only a woman would be able to get to stay 
with Eri, and Harima wouldn't want to pass as a woman 
again.  Though it could be done, but...

	Akira tapped her notebook with her pencil and began 
another plan.

*************
	
	"Don't answer it," Kasumi said to Jenny as Jenny's 
phone rang.  They were studying history together.  More 
precisely, Kasumi was telling Jenny what Jenny should 
have learned in class but hadn't, the way Jenny had to do 
for Kasumi in Chemistry.

	"Man, he's determined," Jenny said.

	"Look, if you don't get rid of him, Keiichi is going 
explode atomically.  You really went too far," Kasumi said.  
"He's a get-along-guy, but he doesn't have infinite 
patience."

	"Yeah, but I...," Jenny began.

	"You trying to get dumped?," Kasumi asked.  "Your 
credit around here is going to look pretty...bad...," she 
began.

	Jenny grinned.  "Little Miss Purity nearly swore," she 
said in a sing-song voice.

	Kasumi looked embarrassed.  "I did not.  I merely 
chose my words with care."

	"Uh huh."

	"Anyway, it's best for you AND him if you come up 
with some way to get rid of him once and for all," Kasumi 
said.  "And avoid contact until then."

	Jenny grumbled.

	"I mean it," Kasumi said.  "I don't normally tell people 
what to do," she began.

	"More than a few dozen times a day," Jenny 
countered, grinning a little.

	"Look...oh, forget it.  Self-destruct if you want to.  Just 
don't answer that phone, and let's get history done."

	They went back to work, but Jenny didn't answer the 
phone.

***************

	Dammit, Yoshidayama thought.  This is taking 
forever.  Maybe if I head over to the university, I can find 
her.

	It beat sitting around, anyway.

**************

	Harima felt a little nervous, but told himself not to be.  
Just because the security man at the condo complex looked 
at him like he was an evil slug was no reason to feel tense.  
Haruka had given him the right passcode and he'd gotten in.  
Sure the place was extremely ritzy compared to the last 
place he'd seen Haruka in, but surely Haruka wouldn't have 
joined the Yakuza or become an international druglord or 
anything.  Haruka had always blown all his money on his 
race car and his bikes, not housing.

	Akira seemed to be perfectly calm; he wondered again 
how she could manage to ride a cycle while wearing a 
business suit-dress.  Though she seemed quite comfortable 
riding side-saddle with one arm around his waist. Her outfit  
looked snazzy, and he regretted a little he was just in his 
school uniform.  But only a little.

	They pulled into the covered parking spaces for 
guests, and he parked, then they headed over to D building 
and went up three flights of stairs.  This place looks like 
each condo is almost the size of Tenma's house, Harima 
thought.

	It reeked of money, which made him nervous.  Rich 
people could be totally crazy, like Eri's parents.  If I end up 
in another contest, I'm going to be pissed, he thought.  "I 
should have brought some of my manga, just in case," he 
muttered as they came up the stairs.

	"Autograph this," Akira said, handing him two copies 
of one of the recent issues.  

	"..."

	"I'm giving tea, of course, as my visiting present," 
Akira said.

	"How did you..."

	"You did know his girlfriend comes from a family on 
a rank with Eri's, right?" Akira asked rhetorically.

	"..."

	"So he may be able to give you a few tips on how to 
swim with the sharks without being eaten," Akira said.

	"I...uh...ahaha."

	Akira bumped into him from behind as he stopped 
moving.  

	Harima started, then started up again.  "How did a 
punk like...I mean..."

	"Good question, Mr. Pot," Akira said.  "We may find 
out, though I would guess school or racing.  Here's your 
congratulation card for his recent victory in the Otoban 
300."  She passed him the card.

	Harima stopped at the second floor walkway.  "Is 
there anything else I don't know that I should?"

	"Did you remember his birthday?" Akira asked.

	"Yes, but this is early January and his birthday is 
January 27th," Harima said.

	Akira paused.  "I see someone needs better 
handwriting, then.  Well, I will give him a late present from 
myself, then."

	Harima grinned.  "I'll never forget his birthday, as last 
year, we went out together and beat an entire gang 
unconscious, then drank up all their liquor to celebrate his 
birthday.  Man, we were drunk off our asses."  He had a 
tone of nostalgia in his voice.

	"So how did you meet, anyway?" Akira asked, leaning 
against the railing.

	Harima leaned back against the railing.  "Well, it's 
kind of embarrassing."

	"Go on?" Akira asked when the ensuing pause started 
to grow longer.

	"Well, I'd been beating down everyone in junior high; 
I was pretty much king by the second year, but then one 
day, a bunch of people all got together and tried to kick my 
ass at once.  And they did."  Harima sounded pretty 
embarrassed.  "I could take ten, twenty people easy, but 
when you get hit by sixty at once, even a total badass like 
me gets worn down," Harima said.

	"Yes, of course," Akira said neutrally.

	"Anyway, I was starting to get to where you start 
seeing things and your head swims and there's thirty people 
left, but sometimes there's fifteen and sometimes there's 
seventy or eighty," Harima continued.  

	Akira nodded.

	Swiftly, Harima continued. "Now, Razor Jizoku was 
almost good enough to be my minion.  Almost.  But I was 
so beat up, even he was a threat.  He nailed me on both 
arms, but you can't see the scars anymore.  He was 
babbling some shit about how I was going to bleed to 
death, which was just bullshit.  When I die, it's going to be 
something like being hit by a nuke, not killed by some punk 
ass bitch like Razor Jizoku."

	Akira heard footsteps above them, but just said, "Of 
course not."

	"Anyway, normally, I'd have just kicked his fucking 
ass, but I was pretty fucked up.  So I try and kick him in the 
balls, only I aimed too low and I kick this telephone pole 
behind him, full force."  Harima winced at the memory and 
Akira's eyelids flickered.

	"So, now I'm staggering around in pain while 
everyone whales on me.  I'm about to try a counter-attack, 
when there's the roar of a motorcycle," Harima said.

	"And then I come roaring in, grab him over one 
shoulder, and race off," Haruka said, tossing Harima over 
one shoulder and running down the landing.  Akira noticed 
Haruka had hooked a suit carrybag over the railing on the 
stairs up to the third floor landing.  

	"What the FUCK?" Harima said as Haruka carried 
him.  He thought they were going to ram full speed into the 
wall at the end, but somehow Haruka came to a halt 
blindingly quick.  

	"Then we roared off into the sunset together," Haruka 
said.  "And I taught him how to not commit suicide."

	"I was still holding my own when you showed up," 
Harima mumbled as Haruka put him down.

	"Of course," Haruka said, grinning.  "I brought you a 
suit, so you'd better change."  Haruka was wearing a nice 
grey suit himself, complete with a red tie that had little 
white puffs of wind on it.

	"I...you didn't say anything about suits!," Harima 
protested.  

	"Well, I was tempted to ask you to wear a dress...," 
Haruka began.  Soon, Harima had Haruka in a headlock 
and initiated the obligatory noogie.

	Haruka just laughed through it all, then said, "You're 
too much fun to tease, Kenji-san.  Come on, though, you 
need to suit up."

	"I can't just change clothing here, out in public.  The 
security guard will arrest me or something," Harima 
protested.

	"Takano-san and I will shield you with our bodies," 
Haruka said.  "And no one is around right now and the 
security guard has his back to us and is watching the street.  
Also, he'd have to see through B building."  Haruka got the 
suitbag.  "Suit up and then we can use Takano-san's 
grooming kit to fix you up."

	"But...," Harima protested.

	"Well, either you can suit up or Takano-san and I can 
strip you naked and suit you up ourselves," Haruka said, 
waggling an eyebrow.

	"Fine, turn around, I'll suit up," Harima said.

	As they shielded him and he started changing outfits, 
he wondered exactly how much he'd gotten in over his head 
this time.

	And how did Akira know to bring a grooming kit, 
anyway?

***************

	Yuuki sat and did homework while Sagano and 
Fuyuki moved around at Eri's command.  "How about 
this?," Sagano asked.

	She was sitting in Fuyuki's lap with her legs 
intertwined with his, turning around ninety degrees to meet 
him as he bent around.  

	"Unstable," Yuuki said.

	"Let's try that," Eri said.

	She'd just sketched out their body frames when they 
slid out of the chair.

	Several more poses also proved unsatisfactory.

	"Hang them from the ceiling; then they can't fall," 
Yuuki suggested.

	"Tsumugi-chan, the blood would rush to my head and 
it would grow huge," Sagano said.  She sounded worried.  
"What if it stuck like that?"

	"More like we'd pass out," Fuyuki said quickly.

	"Hmm.  Ahh!" Eri said.  "Yuuki-san, if you hold them 
up, we can put them in a nice romantic but unstable pose."

	"..."

	"Oooh, that works," Sagano said.

	Yuuki's glasses glinted.  "Can't you just get them to 
stand in an embrace?"

	"Like what?  We need to see the faces," Eri said.

	Yuuki came over, grabbed Fuyuki, and swept him into 
a tango stance, holding him as if he was the following 
dancer, his torso held up by her arms, and then she moved 
in as if to kiss him.

	Eri's eyes widened.  "Oooh, that's a good pose."

	"Here, give me boyfriend," Sagano said.

	"I'll pose, you'll drop him, Megumi-san," Yuuki said.

	"It'll be fine," Sagano said, taking him.

	She lasted fifteen seconds, then dropped him on her 
legs and fell down.

	"Maybe I should pose with Yuuki," Fuyuki fumbled.

	"But...I'm the girlfriend...," Sagano mumbled.

	"We'll have to let Yuuki's hair down or redo her pony-
tails," Eri said.

	"But..."

	"Look, I know the three of you are sleeping together, 
given you started sleeping all in the same room at our ski 
lodge," Eri said.  "You need to work on your hiding things 
act, really," Eri continued, shaking her head.

	"..."  Sagano stared mindlessly.

	Fuyuki began to laugh.

	Yuuki turned red.

	"Let's try posing Yuuki and Fuyuki together, see if 
that works," Eri said, coming over and carefully doing 
Yuuki's hair into her own style.

	"So you're drawing you and Harima?" Fuyuki asked.  
"Should I draw on a moustache and beard?"

	"Sagano-san, get the marker," Eri said.

	Sagano laughed.  "This should be an entertaining 
night..."
	
***************

	"We'll have to assemble some people and decorate, but 
this looks fine to me," Yuri said to Miki as Miki showed 
Yuri, Sara, and Yakumo around the restaurant Miki had 
found for them.  "What do you think?"

	"No evil spirits," Sara said.

	Yakumo said, "It's nice.  But we'll need animal 
things."

	"Well, there's plenty of budget money for renovation," 
Miki said.  "I'm glad you like it, as I still have to finalize 
deals for the other two teams."

	Yakumo nodded, hoping this would end better than 
the last contest.  She still wasn't sure why Eri-sempai had 
gotten so angry with her.  But she knew she didn't like it 
being like that.  

	Sara squeezed her hand.  "Are you excited?  I know I 
am."

	"A little," Yakumo said.

	"I'm really excited.  We're both going to have to push 
our skills to the limit," Yuri said.  "Oh...we need to go 
costume shopping."

	"You're on your own for that," Miki said.  "Yuri-san 
has the credit card and the checkbook now.  Good luck!"

*************

	Harima finished careful grooming. I feel like a girl, he 
thought irritatedly.

	We made a pretty good woman, Onna-Harima told 
him.

	I don't WANT to make a pretty good woman, Harima 
thought.  I want to be an awesome man.

	"Very good," Haruka said.  "You'll knock the ladies 
dead like that."

	"You think?" Harima asked.  He did like the sound of 
that.  Women did like a sharp-dressed man.  Music had 
taught him that.  

	Haruka held up the mirror from the kit.  "Wow, I look 
respectable," Harima said.

	"You look great," Akira said.  

	"See?  Your girlfriend likes it," Haruka said, grinning.

	"We're not dating," Akira and Harima said in unison.

	"You should have brought your girlfriend," Haruka 
said.  "I think she and my lady would get along great."  
Haruka carefully loaded Harima's uniform into the suitbag; 
when they got upstairs, Haruka opened a cracked window 
and slid it in.  

	"She's busy working," Harima said.  He hoped things 
were going well for her.  Even if she was trying to stop 
him.  He frowned at that, then decided to apply his usual 
solution--don't think.  "Hey, my uniform!"

	"You can get it out the window on the way out.  This 
way, it looks like you wore the suit here," Haruka said.

	Akira nodded approvingly.

	"Ready to step into the lion's den?" Haruka teased.  

	"BORN ready," Harima said.  NO FEAR, that was his 
motto.

	"Then let's go in."  
		
*************

	Imadori had the vague feeling of having forgotten 
something as he and Buddha did their homework.  Had he 
meant to call someone?

	When the phone rang and played, 'Hot for Teacher', he 
remembered what he'd forgotten.  Yukari-chan!

	He quickly answered, "Hi, Yukari-chan!  How are 
you?"

	"My parents grounded me!  A grown woman!  If they 
hadn't forgotten there's still a phone jack in my room and 
my old phone in the closet, I'd be cut off from society!" 
Yukari said.

	"That's awful," Imadori said soothingly.  "A beautiful 
woman like you, chained away at home?  That's a tragic 
waste."

	"EXACTLY," Yukari said.  "I knew you'd understand 
me.  You're the best, Kyousuke-kun."

	"You too, Yukari-chan.  So how is school going for 
you?" he asked.

	"Oh, my students are hideous brats as usual," Yukari 
said.  "They may be your age, but they're all eight years old 
on the inside.  I caught Tomo chewing on her desk in 
frustration, as if she was teething.  TEETHING.  At her 
age.  I think it may be a criminal offense," Yukari 
continued; Imadori could hear her pacing.

	"Locking you up is a criminal offense," Imadori said.  
"But you're right, most kids are pretty immature."  He sat 
down on the bed.

	"Are you alone?" Yukari asked hopefully.

	"No, Buddha is here studying with me," Imadori said.

	"Hello, Yukari-sensei," Buddha said.

	"He's a good boy, but in the way," Yukari said.  "Any 
chance you can get him to go so we can have phone sex?"

	Conflicting urges fought inside Imadori's head.  
Caution won out, expending all its energy for the month.  
This might be trouble...later.  "If I start moaning, Mother 
will rush in and try to doctor me and I'll end up knocked 
out on painkillers or something," he said.
	
	"DAMMIT.  Any chance you could sneak over here 
later tonight?" she asked.

	"I'll see what I can do," Imadori said.  "If I don't show 
up by 1 AM, it means they got me or something else 
happened."

	"Okay," she said.  "I'd better go; I hear the 'rents."  
Click.

	"You going to go?" Buddha asked.

	"Not yet," Imadori said.  "I expect Takano-san is 
spending her nights watching Yukari-chan's house to see if 
she gets an excuse to kick my ass."

	She hadn't been, but now that he mentioned it, she 
decided to go ahead and put up some monitors around the 
place.

	Buddha cocked his head for a moment, then said, 
"That's wiser, I think."

	"A crucial skill is the ability to defer pleasure," 
Imadori said.

	Buddha was quite surprised when the sheer force of 
his own irony failed to kill Imadori.

	Or at least maim him.

*************

	Harry drove up to Yoshidayama.  "Yo."

	Yoshidayama turned around to Harry.  "Yo."

	They were up on campus at the college, with 
Yoshidayama wandering between dorms.  "You know 
where Jenny is?" he asked.

	Harry sighed.  "You don't take hints well, I take it."

	"What?" Yoshidayama asked.

	"Look, if she wanted to talk to you, she'd call you 
back.  If she keeps fucking around, Keiichi's probably 
going to dump her.  And if you end up breaking them up, 
I'm going to have to break you over my knee and then see 
how good of a basketball you make.  You understand?" 
Harry asked.

	Normally, he would have just let Jenny wreck her own 
life again, but Kasumi had begged him to help, so he'd 
decided to intervene.

	"You wouldn't dare kick my ass!," Yoshidayama 
bluffed.

	"Look, you're not a bad kid," Harry began.

	"You're not any older than I am!" Yoshidayama said.  

	Harry rolled his eyes.  "Compared to me, you're in 
diapers."

	"Diapers?  DIAPERS?"  There was only so much 
Yoshidayama could take.  "I ought to kick your ass for 
that!"

	Harry looked at him silently, then finally said, "You 
couldn't kick my ass if I bent over and offered it to you as a 
sacrifice."

	"I can take you any time, any place!" Yoshidayama 
shouted.  Deep down, he knew he was being suicidal, but 
he just couldn't back down.

	People began looking out of windows and opening 
doors curiously.  

	Harry studied Yoshidayama, who began to squirm a 
little.  "If you really want a beating, I'll be happy to give 
you one."

	Yoshidayama's common sense fought with his pride.  
He couldn't back down now; everyone would hear about it.  
And what did Harry know about what Jenny really wanted?  
Probably that punk Keiichi stole her phone.  His legs 
shook; they wanted to run.

	"Fine, I'll kick your ass tomorrow after school," 
Yoshidayama said.  "I've got to get my damn homework 
done tonight."

	"Fine.  See you after school to kill you, then," Harry 
said, rolling his eyes.

	Yoshidayama took off, telling himself he wasn't 
running AWAY, he was running TOWARDS home so as to 
have more time for homework.

***********

	Harima told himself not to be nervous.  Just because 
movies about gangsters have lots of violin music and 
Haruka was suddenly loaded and there was violin music 
coming through the open doorway was no reason to get 
nervous.  

	Besides, I'm more badass than any gangster, right, he 
told himself.

	In the living room, a short, beautiful woman with long 
blue-green hair stood in a dress probably worth more than 
everything Harima owned in the world.  She held a very 
nice looking violin, which she was busy playing as she 
stood in front of a stand.

	"Kenji-san, this is Kai'ou Michiru.  Michiru-san, this 
is my old friend Harima Kenji and his manager, Takano 
Akira." Haruka said, gesturing grandly between them.
	
	"It's a pleasure to meet you," Michiru said, carefully 
setting her violin aside on a stand and advancing to offer 
Harima a hand.  Just looking at her made Harima feel like 
he'd wandered into a high class affair.  Which, indeed, it 
seemed he had.

	Desperately, he tried to remember how people had 
talked formally at the party he'd thrown.  But he couldn't 
remember, couldn't think, all he could do was to advance 
towards her hand, trying to remember to not judo-throw 
her.

	Finally, he said, "I can see how a hot woman like you 
was able to rein in Haruka-san.  Nice to meet you."  This 
was extremely not what he meant to say AT ALL.  He had 
a few seconds to regret ever learning to talk.

	She threw back her head and laughed, shaking his 
hand very firmly, which he hadn't expected.  (In his 
admittedly tiny experience, most elegant ladies didn't grip 
your hand firmly, but just barely exerted any force at all.)  
"You can't chain the wind, Harima-san; all you can do is tilt 
your sails to follow it where it goes.  But it's very nice to 
finally meet you."

	Haruka seemed amused for some reason.

	Michiru then shook Akira's hand.  "And it's nice to 
meet you as well, Takano-san, though I was hoping to meet 
Harima-san's girlfriend, so I could see if she's as cute as 
Haruka-san claims."

	Akira relaxed slightly.  

 	Harima said, "Yakumo-san is very cute."  He smiled, 
relaxing a little.
	
	"Please, sit down," Michiru said.  "Would you like 
some tea?"

	"I'll get them tea and finish the cooking," Haruka said, 
"So you can meet with our guests."

	Michiru smiled at Haruka.  "Thank you."

	Haruka vanished into the kitchen while everyone else 
sat down.  Harima hoped nothing would happen to his 
plush chair, which probably cost FAR too much.

	He glanced over at Akira, who looked completely 
relaxed and mostly impassive as usual.  She fits in this 
world, he thought.  But I don't know if I do.  Even the 
slightest screwup and I'll level the place.

	Though I'm already monstrously in debt.

	Gift now...yes.  Gift now, Harima thought.  "I brought 
you a present," he said.  "Akira-san did too."

	He produced the autographed manga, while Akira 
produced the box of tea cannisters.  He took the tea and 
passed both to Michiru.

	"That's very kind of you," Michiru said.  She looked 
about.  "It would appear my dear Haruka cleaned away my 
gift for you.  I'll ask when it's time to eat."

	"Kai'ou-san, I noticed you playing when we arrived.  
Would you do us the honor of playing a piece for us while 
we wait?" Akira asked.

	SLICK, Harima thought.  That'll make sure she's in a 
good mood.

	"Of course," Michiru said.  "I'm not very good, but I 
would be happy to do so."

	"Music soothes the savage soul, so we had best play a 
lot to keep Haruka-san and Kenji-san calm," Akira said, 
deadpan.

	"HEY!," Harima protested.

	Michiru laughed like gently falling rain, then rose and 
began to play.

	Harima sat back and relaxed.  Not his kind of music, 
but it was soothing and it meant he didn't have to worry 
about driving Kai'ou into some rich people crazy frenzy.

	In fact, the hard part was staying awake, it was so 
beautiful and relaxing.

**************

	Yuuki felt nervous about the dress she was wearing.  It 
was one of Eri's slightly older dresses, when she was a little 
shorter and a little younger.  But it was still very valuable, 
and the jewelry...the necklace alone probably was worth 
more than her allowance for a year.  She fingered it 
nervously.

	"Do you like it?" Eri asked.  

	They were in Eri's room, dressing her and Sagano up.  
Nakamura was assisting Fuyuki in another room.  They'd 
decided to go whole hog on getting the picture as close as 
possible to having Eri and Harima really modelling for it.

	"It's really beautiful," Yuuki said softly.

	"You can have the whole thing.  The jewelry only 
matches my old stuff, and none of it fits me any more," Eri 
said.  "I only still have it because it's so pretty that I keep 
telling myself there's some way to make it fit.  But I'm too 
tall and a little too busty for it now."

	It boggled Yuuki that anyone could throw away the 
expensive dress, with all the nice blue and green 
embroidery and the soft silk and...everything.  "I wouldn't 
want to impose."

	"It's fine.  Throwing it out would be a waste, but 
Mikoto is too tall, Akira is too thin, and Tenma is too short 
for any of this," Eri said.

	"True.  Thank you." Yuuki smiled.  "I should share it 
with Megumi-chan."

	"She's a little too tall and busty too, though," Eri said.  
"Hmm, we'll need to dye your hair, Megumi's too."  She 
paused.  "I hope I'm not putting you up to too much 
inconvenience."

	"It's fine, kind of fun," Yuuki said.  "So you're going 
to try and use Megumi too?"

	"We can try some with each of you," Eri said.  
"Sagano looks more like me, but you're less likely to spazz 
out."

	"I do NOT spazz out!" Sagano said, shaking her arms 
wildly.

	"Well, let's go see about the dye," Eri said.  "Follow 
me."

*******************	
	
	"You're going to try to fight Harry tomorrow?" 
Imadori said to Yoshidayama in shock.

	"I need a second," he said.

	"Though I fear I will only be there to dig your grave, I 
will second you," Buddha said.

	They were at Imadori's, doing homework.  

	"He will kick your ass in every way imaginable and 
some that aren't," Imadori said.

	"I gotta do this," Yoshidayama said.  "I'm not gonna 
roll over this time.  If I don't fight, I'm not a man."

	"I will arrange a very nice funeral for you," Imadori 
said.  "Can't you just get someone...hmm, I suppose Karen 
blocks sending anyone to seduce him."

	Yoshidayama paused.  "I hope she won't jump into it 
when I start kicking Harry's ass."

	"There's little danger of that," Imadori said.

	"Of her jumping in?," Yoshidayama said.  "She seems 
like the type to go totally berserk when he goes down to 
me."

	Imadori shook his head.  "Of you killing Harry.  Like I 
said, it's funeral time."

	"I'll be fine," Yoshidayama said with far more 
confidence than he felt.

************

	Part of Harima wished he had the headset like at the 
party to feed him instructions on manners.  He wasn't suited 
for this sort of thing.  But he did his best to surreptitiously 
copy Haruka's manners, which seemed to work well 
enough.  Akira wasn't making noises at him and Onna-
Harima kept her mouth shut (for which he was glad).  He 
wasn't used to spoons, forks, and knives, but at least they 
were easy to use, if a little unnatural.  And did he really 
need so many spoons and forks of different sizes?

	The food...he wasn't even sure what some of this was.  
Or had only vague ideas.  Had they said something about 
'caribou'?  The spiced wine, at least, was recognizable; he 
hoped he wasn't drinking too much of it.  And the yellow 
stuff was some kind of cheese.  Why was the sausage grey 
looking?  Was that healthy?

	It tasted good, though.  He tried to moderate his 
eating, though it made things slow.  

	Michiru and Akira were bantering comfortably back 
and forth, Harima noted, while he and Haruka both were 
pretty quiet.  He glanced over at Haruka, who gave him a 
nod of approval.  Harima wondered what he was 
approving.

	Michiru seemed to notice, as she turned to Harima.  
"Don't be afraid to cut in, Harima-san.  I could talk all night 
if Haruka-san doesn't stop me."  Her smile was reassuring.  
She seemed so sane compared to most of the rich people he 
knew.  Maybe he could relax.

	However, he hadn't actually wanted to say something; 
he'd been kind of content to eat quietly, listen to witty 
banter and avoid any trouble.  "I was wondering why my 
sausage is grey," he said.  NOT a topic he wanted to dive 
into, but his mouth apparently thought otherwise.

	"Oh, it's German," Michiru said.  "I thought I would 
prepare something German, as I was in a hurry."

	"Oh," Harima said.  German food is grey.  I will 
remember that.   Hmm, she made this herself.  Not bad.  
"It's very good."

	"Thank you," she said.  "So I understand you want to 
go to art school."

	"Yes," he said.  "I'm now employed by Dankosha, 
producing my manga, but I want to improve my skills, as 
I'm largely self-trained," Harima said.  "I was very lucky to 
break in at my age."

	"Have you ever done any painting?" Michiru asked 
curiously.

	"Only in art class," Harima said.  "Do you paint?"

	Akira sat quietly and listened.

	"Yes, she does, and very well," Haruka said.  "You 
should show him some of your art after dinner."  

	"Oh, I'm not all that impressive," Michiru said, 
demurely turning her head to sort of gaze away and down.

	"Oh, show him anyway.  You can talk shop while 
Takano-san and I look confused," Haruka said, grinning, 
then resumed eating.

	"I'd be happy to see it," Harima said, trying to be 
polite, but also curious if she drew as well as she played.  It 
made him wonder idly if he could play music well if he 
tried.

	Michiru smiled brightly, and Harima relaxed a little 
more, though a tiny part of his brain feared she was setting 
him up for the kill.  Whatever the 'kill' might be.  "Being 
published at your age is quite an accomplishment."

	"Our class has two published manga-kas, in fact," 
Akira said.  "The other one is dating Kenji's girlfriend's 
sister, in fact."

	Harima's ears twitched.  "We just did a cover for 
Shining Sunday, where our work is published."

	"I'll be looking forward to seeing it," Michiru said.  

	Harima wondered if she was telling the truth or being 
polite.  She was so cheerful and shiny that he couldn't read 
her any more than he could read Akira.  "I had...," he 
began.

	Akira stomped on his foot and he wondered why.  
Clearly he wasn't supposed to mention something.  But 
what?  Glancing at Akira gave him no clue.  He could see 
Haruka looked extremely amused, but that was Haruka's 
natural state.  It told him nothing.  He was surrounded by 
people who always looked the same no matter what they 
were thinking and it made him nervous.

	Desperate for something to say, Harima said, "Maybe 
I should do a drawing of you two before we go."

	"Oh, that would be very nice," Michiru said.  "I'm 
planning to play some music while we relax on the 
veranda, so I can draft Haruka to help me and you could 
draw us."

	"Sounds good to me," Harima said, taking a huge 
mouthful of the shredded...cabbage?  It was oddly yellow 
and a little salty.  

	"Kenji's sketches were very popular at his New Year's 
Party at the Sawachika Lodge," Akira said.  Harima could 
hear the weight she subtly put on 'Sawachika'.  He wasn't 
sure why she did that.  Why would they care about 
someone else's New Years' Party, anyway?

	Michiru made an appreciative noise as she ate.

	Hmm, the silverware is annoying, but this food is 
good, Harima thought as he ate as well.  Everyone was 
eating quietly, and he wondered if he was supposed to be 
saying something.  Finally, he was about to ask something 
when Michiru finished chewing.

	"I heard about your party," Michiru said.  "I 
understand that Lupin III attacked the party and kidnapped 
the Sawachika heiress."  She seemed oddly casual about 
this.

	"Yeah, and I kicked his fuc...his a...I beat him," 
Harima said, his voice shifting from loud and enthusiastic 
to very restrained.  Rich people seemed to learn to not 
swear somehow; he needed to ask Eri about it.

	"Man, I wish I had been there; sounds like you had a 
good time," Haruka said, sounding envious.  "So he's really 
alive?"

	"Alive enough to pull a pretty impressive break-in," 
Harima said.  

	"He was trying to free the heiress from being forced to 
marry our classmate, Imadori Kyousuke, who is a pervert," 
Akira said.  "Rather than stealing."

	"Yeah, sounds like him.  Always the romantic, 
dashing thief.  Saving young maidens and robbing the rich 
to give to the poor.  I'd be good at that," Haruka said, 
grinning.

	Harima suddenly wondered if this was going to get 
ugly.  Akira was understandably touchy about this.  

	To his surprise, she smiled a little.  "You certainly 
have his charm," Akira said.  "And perhaps his ability to 
get in trouble."

	Michiru laughed gently, while Haruka laughed louder.  
"Well, I taught Kenji how to get in trouble, but more 
importantly, how to get out of it."

	"When in doubt, punch through a wall," Harima said, 
grinning.  "And motorcycles are meant to be driven too 
fast."

	"AMEN," Haruka said.

	"So you're a friend of the Sawachika family?" Michiru 
asked casually as she sipped her wine.

	Harima took a sip of his, then let his hands work on 
slicing up these sort of pasta rolls with meat and onions on 
the inside that he didn't know the name of, but liked the 
taste.  "Yeah, Sawachika Eri is one of our classmates."  He 
wasn't sure if he should mention the contest or his feelings 
or...no, definitely not time to talk about feelings.  
	
	"And the Mihama family," Akira added.

	Michiru raised an eyebrow.

	"Yeah, I take their daughter to school and back," 
Harima said.  "Had to get a sidecar, I do so much taxi 
work."

	"Mihama-san is very intelligent," Akira said, sounding 
almost a little envious.  

	Harima had the feeling he could almost hear cogs 
turning in Michiru's brain, though she continued with her 
usual pleasant smile.

	"I see you're almost done.  Would you like some pie?" 
Michiru asked.

	"YES," Harima said.  "I mean, yes, I would."

	"You're so natural, it's so refreshing," Michiru said, 
rising.  "I will..."

	"I'll get it," Haruka said, heading for the kitchen door.  
"You're all in for a treat."

	If the pie was as good as the food, Harima would be 
very happy indeed, assuming the silverware did not betray 
him.  He relaxed a little.  She must be used to roughness 
from Haruka, though he'd noted Haruka's manners much 
improved.

	"You're a woman of many talents," Akira said.

	"Well, so are you, from what I have heard," Michiru 
said.  "Are you planning to go into talent management?"

	"I haven't decided yet," Akira said.  "I've thought a lot 
about owning a bookstore.  This cycle shop should be a 
valuable experience for me."

	"Haruka is VERY excited about it," Michiru said, 
leaning forward a little, as if to whisper to them.  "But then, 
I think Haruka's most happy when either fixing a vehicle or 
driving one."  She settled back into her chair.

	"Yeah, I know that feeling," Harima said a little 
wistfully.  "There's nothing quite as good as the open road, 
the wind at your back, and nothing that can stand in your 
way.  It's like being the god of wind, going where you will 
and when you will and nothing can stop you."  He drifted 
into a light fantasy about racing down the highway, passing 
everything in sight, leaving the cops behind him to cry.

	"All the complications drain away, and there's nothing 
but you and the bike and the road, and it's all so simple and 
so strong," Akira said softly.  "You can forget everything 
else and just be, with no other demands on your time, lose 
yourself in the speed.  The enlightenment of the road."

	"The other gods of wind may rise up against you, but 
they're only false gods," Haruka said, bringing out the pie.  
"But casting them down raises you up, until you rule the 
road with an iron hand, for no one else can stand against 
you.  Young and wild and free."  Haruka's voice was almost 
wistful, but also celebratory in tone.  "There are few things 
any better."

	There was silence for a few seconds, with Haruka, 
Akira, and Harima sharing glances, while Michiru looked 
slightly guilty.  She quickly recovered, saying, "Let's eat, 
then we can adjourn to the veranda and make beautiful 
music together."

	Harima glanced over at Akira.  I'd half-forgotten she 
rides too, he thought.  Hmm, I'm even luckier than I 
thought.   

	And the pie was tasty too.

************

	Yuuki, Sagano, and Fuyuki lurked over Eri's shoulder, 
studying the new end product.  "You need to give Harima 
more muscles," Sagano said.  "He's too close to the 
boyfriend's flimsy build."

	"Hey, I'm not FLIMSY.  I'm pretty strong," Fuyuki 
protested.

	"If you take your shirt off, but we're not here for an 
orgy," Sagano said.

	"The moustache and goatee are pretty good, though," 
Yuuki said.

	"You should probably put the 'bad-ass' jacket on 
Harima," Fuyuki said.  

	Eri began making adjustments, until, finally, she had 
something which would work well.  It only had one 
problem.

	"Hmm, this is a little large," Eri said.

	"It is?" Fuyuki asked.  "This is a pretty normal portrait 
size, right?  I mean, it's pencil and pen, not paint, but it 
seems fine to me."

	"It's going to be a little hard to conceal in the 
classroom to covertly show him," Eri pointed out.  

	"Well, if we organize a team to each hold a piece," 
Sagano began, "then to combine them on your signal like at 
sporting events..."

	"No," Eri said.  "This should be just between us."

	"Just swap it to Takano or Suou, they can pass it to 
him, he sees it and is overcome by desire, jumps to kiss you 
in the middle of class, and all is good," Sagano said.

	"I would be surprised if he did that," Yuuki said.  "But 
it seems reasonable enough to have one of your close 
friends pass it, right?"

	"I want...to see his face when he sees it," Eri 
mumbled.

	"Hmm...If we do the triple swap, then Eri could go up 
to Harima disguised as you again, while I pass as Eri and 
you take on my identity," Sagano said.

	Eri said, "That might work at night, but I don't think 
we're good enough to do it during the day."

	"Well, it's not going anywhere," Yuuki said.  "But 
we'd be glad to help."

	"Thanks," Eri said.

	"We can advise you on your threesomes with Harima 
and Yakumo too," Sagano said.

	"..."

	"I think we can save THAT for another time," Yuuki 
said.  "Such as when we figure it all out ourselves."

	"Picky, picky," Sagano grumbled.  "Anyway, you 
want to do another picture or are we done?"

	"Well, I might as well do more since you're all 
costumed up," Eri said.  Really, this was kind of fun, she 
thought.  Maybe I should try getting Tenma and Akira and 
Mikoto to dress up for some kind of picture.

	Yeah, that'd be good to do some weekend.  

	Eri began plotting for the future.

*************

	Akira found the music very soothing.  She sat in a nice 
chair by the railing, while Haruka played the piano and 
Michiru the violin.  It made her regret that she'd never 
learned to play an instrument very well.  Everyone who 
went to the local schools learned how to sound terrible on a 
recorder, but she wasn't sure if she could even manage that 
any more.

	Hanai certainly couldn't.

	She could dance, but the veranda wasn't large enough.  
And her suit-dress was not ideally suited for it, anyway.  
Still, the music made her want to dance.  If only Kentaro 
was here.  But this was a business meeting.  Sort of.  Half-
party, half-business meeting.  Anyway, if Harima had 
brought Yakumo or Eri, she would have brought Kentaro.  

	Harima was drawing at high speed, larger than his 
usual drawings.  And better, she thought.  This sort of thing 
pushes you to improve, and he was improving.  

	She'd been worried about his manners, but it seemed 
that Kai'ou took it all with good grace, which helped Akira 
to relax a little and enjoy a higher class evening than she 
was used to.  It was like one of her missions, if there was 
no shooting going on.

	She wondered, though, what her boyfriend was up to.  
Probably just studying, though.

**************

	"Hah!  I win again!" Yoshidayama announced as his 
character, Ninja Zero, danced all over Big Olga, Nara's 
character.  "Yeah, I'm gonna kick Harry's ass so hard!"

	Nara looked dubious.  "I don't think that even if we 
play all night you'll really absorb the skills for real."

	"Desperate needs for desperate times," Yoshidayama 
said.  "Play Fat Albert next."

	Soon the screen said, "Hey, Hey, Hey," as the new 
game fired up.  Nara hoped Yoshidayama knew what he 
was doing.

***************

	Akira looked the very model of calmness; she was 
posing for a portrait by Michiru, while the guys were out on 
the Veranda, talking shop.  Akira stood next to a chair, left 
hand resting on it, phone in her other hand, held up to her 
head.  "You should have brought your boyfriend," Michiru 
said as she worked.  "He must be quite a man for a woman 
like you."  

	Akira felt flattered at that, though her outward visage 
was unmoved.  "He is a very manly man, kind and gentle 
and loving.  And very handsome."  Her voice, unlike her 
face, had a softness to it.

	Michiru seemed to study Akira a moment, then 
resumed her painting.  "You and Harima-san seem to work 
together very effectively as a team."

	"We compliment each other," Akira said.  "In the 
sense..."

	"I know," Michiru said, dabbing her brush into the 
brown on her palette.  "In the sense that each of you has 
things the other lacks.  The best partnerships are like that."

	"I can see you and Haruka-san are like that too," Akira 
said, feeling the urge to change posture, but suppressing it.  

	Michiru nodded.  "Yes," she said, smiling.  "We make 
each other complete.  You have to give up some of your 
freedom to be in a relationship, but you get many good 
things in return."

	Akira knew the truth of that.  She was still struggling 
with whether she could handle giving up her old...state of 
being.  Emotions could be such dangerous things.  "It's 
terrifying, sometimes," she said softly, then regretted it.  It 
wasn't wise to get to intimate with someone you'd just met, 
but Michiru seemed to have a knack for...she was 
sympathetic and a good listener; Akira realized her 
defenses were down; she couldn't afford to let things slip 
like this all the time.  Maybe it was the alcohol.  I haven't 
had that much, have I, Akira asked herself.

	"Yes it is," Michiru said.  "Especially when it conflicts 
with duty, love can be a terrible thing."  Akira found it hard 
to read Michiru's emotions, but she could feel the strength 
of them, and could tell Michiru had faced that sort of 
conflict before.  "I'm sure it's hard to tell at your age," she 
said, as if she wasn't only a year older than Akira, "But 
love, though beautiful, is not the only thing in life.  There is 
also duty, and duty is a harsh mistress."

	"I know," Akira said softly.

	"But if one is truly blessed, love and duty align.  And 
when they do, then nothing can stop you," Michiru said.  
"But life is not always or even often so convenient."  She 
carefully painted in Akira's eyes.  "But I see you know 
that."

	"Yes," Akira said.  "But I can't turn aside from my 
friends and my family, from those I protect."  Stop telling 
people your inner life, she ordered herself.  But her mouth 
didn't want to stop, unfortunately.  "That is my highest duty 
so far."

	"If you are lucky, it will stay that way," Michiru said, 
then studied Akira very carefully.  "Your mouth is so hard 
to read."

	"I like it that way.  I seem to tell too much these days 
anyway," Akira said.

	Michiru nodded.  "Well, the Mona Lisa is hard to read 
and few paintings exceed her fame."

	"I had...well," Akira said.  Best not to talk about the 
case with all those Mona Lisas with the word 'fake' written 
under the paint in magic marker.

	"I hope the boys won't get in too much trouble without 
us," Michiru said, switching subjects.

	"Even Kenji-san can't get in much trouble talking to a 
friend on a veranda," Akira said optimistically.

	"Until they start wrestling and plunge over the railing 
three stories," Michiru said, waggling her brush for 
emphasis.

	"I think Kenji-san would barely notice that," Akira 
said.  "He's pretty tough."

	Michiru looked at Akira for a moment, and there was 
a strange something in her eyes which made Akira very 
nervous.  And then it passed, and Akira said, "Well, I don't 
hear any violence, so I'm sure it's fine."
	
	"That's true.  I'm sure they're just discussing the 
business, and not kissing at all," Michiru said.

	Akira said, "If they're discuss...."  The rest of the 
sentence hit her and she fell silent, then strained her ears.

	"I'm just teasing you, Takano-san," Michiru said.  
"Now, let's try and make your chin work right..."

*************

	"Well, I have to say I envy you a little.  But I don't 
envy the beatings in your future," Haruka said.

	The two of them were out on the veranda, leaning on 
the railing, watching people drift by across the complex, 
and having some wine.  "In too deep to get out now," 
Harima said, sipping his wine.

	"Yeah, I know the feeling," Haruka said.  "Just be 
careful, though, or it'll all fall apart on you."

	"I know, but I've committed myself to both of them, 
and I'm not a man to back down.  Even if I don't know how 
to make it work," Harima said.  "I won't let Eri-san end up 
chained to that idiot Imadori.  And I can't abandon 
Yakumo-san.  Not after all she's done for me," Harima said.  
"I envy you the simplicity of your love life, though.  No 
magical transformations or monsters or travelling to other 
universes or people turning into men or women or..."

	Haruka began to laugh and laugh and laugh.

	Harima frowned.  "What's so funny?"

	"I can't talk about it," Haruka said.  "I'll just say I've 
seen some weird things, which is why I don't find what's 
happened to you all that strange."

	Haruka had seemed to take it without needing much 
convincing, Harima realized.  "Did you get zapped too at 
some point?"

	"I have a good understanding of both sides of the 
question, so to speak," Haruka said, grinning a little.  "So, 
any chance of you turning into a woman for us tonight?"

	"Hell no!," Harima said.  "Even if I wanted to, and I 
don't, Eri's the one who could make that happen."  

	He is handsome, Onna-Harima said to Harima.

	BITE ME, Harima said.  If I was a woman, and I'm 
not and I won't be, I might go for a guy like him.  But I'm a 
guy and so is he and no one is turning into a woman.

	What if he turns into a woman?, Onna-Harima asked.

	SHUT UP, Harima told her.

	"Stop looking thoughtful," Harima said quickly to 
Haruka, who had struck a thinker pose.

	Laughing, Haruka said, "Well, if we do the yaoi 
routine for your shop, I can guarantee we'll bring women 
running."

	"Yeah, but will they spend any money?" Harima 
asked.  Man, I sound like Akira, he thought.  "Not that I 
want to do a yaoi routine; people might get the wrong 
idea."  Though he did need money...

	Damn debts making me think insane thoughts.

	"Well, unrequited yaoi can grab a certain kind of 
woman," Haruka said thoughtfully.  "If I pine over you..."

	Harima struggled in his mind.  No Yaoi, but it's fake 
Yaoi and it would make money, maybe, but if someone like 
Tennouji saw it, everyone would think he was gay and it 
would all unravel and he'd have to become a monk.  "I can 
only hit on men when I'm a woman," he said, then regretted 
saying that with every ounce of regret he had.  He even 
regretted it with ounces of regret he didn't have, but must 
have borrowed, putting himself in emotional debt.  Which 
was the last thing he needed.

	"So you stop liking women and start liking men when 
you're a woman?" Haruka asked curiously.

	"Well, Eri was a pretty good kisser as a guy but I also 
liked kissing Yakumo who was a still a woman 
and...dammit, I am never drinking again," Harima said, 
putting his wine down.  "I have dialysis of the mouth."

	"Diarrhea, you mean?" Haruka asked.

	"Whatever.  No more talking about theoretical me 
being a woman when it is NEVER happening again," 
Harima said.  "Ever."

	"Hmm," Haruka mumbled, cheerful as ever, maybe 
even more cheerful.  "Well, that's enough tormenting you 
for the next hour or two.  Curious as I am to see you as a 
woman."

	"NOT happening," Harima said.  "Don't make me beat 
the crap out of you."

	Haruka laughed.  "You still can't take me."

	"Oh?  I'll show you the truth of that!"

	They were still clobbering each other when the ladies 
came out with the portrait.  Hearing the sounds of 
approaching feet, Haruka broke off just in time for him and 
Harima to sort of hide what they'd been doing.

	But not really, since Akira and Michiru both saw 
through it.  "Don't stop now," Michiru said.  "I'm sure we'd 
both enjoy seeing your clothes come off as you battle hotly 
for no reason."  Her voice was spritely as ever.

	Harima turned red.  Haruka just took out a comb and 
started using it.  "Our love is a forbidden secret," Haruka 
said.  "Are we switching off now?"

	"Yes, I'm going to show Harima the basics of 
painting," Michiru said.  "While you entertain our guest, 
Takano-san."

	"I will do my best.  Be gentle with Kenji-san, dear."

	"I will," Michiru said, dragging Harima away.

	They'd done painting in Art Class before; Harima had 
been focused on fantasizing about Tenma, however, so the 
refresher was welcome.  

	He painted in silence, focusing on his art, while part of 
his brain wandered off into thoughts of the cycle shop and 
hoping Haruka wasn't going to do anything crazy again.  So 
he didn't have to give the man another beating.

	Finally, Michiru broke the silence.  "I'm glad you 
came," she said, as she stood with her violin, posing for 
Harima to try a practice painting.

	"You're a very good cook," Harima said.  "Like 
Yakumo-san."

	"Thank you.  I do a lot of travelling and usually don't 
take servants with me, as international flights are 
expensive," she said.  "I've been to Europe a lot."

	He worked quietly a bit longer, and then she said, "So 
were you two fighting?"

	"Yeah, but it don't mean nothing," Harima said.  
"Guys beat the cra...kick the a...uh, hit each other all the 
time.  It's just how we do business.  Sometimes, you 
gotta...uh...hit each other," Harima continued, stumbling as 
he tried to restrain his language.

	"I don't mind," she said.  "But learning to restrain your 
language in the circles you are starting to travel in is wise," 
she continued, gesturing with her bow before remembering 
to pose again.

	"Yeah, it's expensive, too," Harima said.  "Though if I 
get big enough for merchandising, that will help a lot."

	"You have a lot of talent," Michiru said.  "If you keep 
focused, you will go far."

	Harima peered at her, then began working on the 
violin.  It was easy, really, though matching colors was the 
tricky part.  "Drawing, hitting things, and cycling are what I 
do best."

	"Have you thought about entering races?  If you're 
close to Haruka's skills," Michiru began.

	"I could kick his ass on a bike now," Harima said 
confidently.

	Michiru smiled a little.  "I'd be interested to see some 
time.  And to meet your girlfriend."

	"I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you," Harima said, 
now trying to figure out how to paint the bow.  "I have to 
admit, I wouldn't have thought Haruka would end up with 
someone like you.  Stabbed to death by three women at 
once, maybe..."

	She laughed again.  "We were born for each other, I 
think."

	He looked up from his painting.  "I felt like that, but it 
didn't...work out."  He sighed.  "Good luck, but I've come 
to the conclusion that love is a lot more confusing than 
that."

	She started slightly, then looked approving, which 
confused him.  Reading this woman was just difficult.  

	"It was all a lot easier when I just hit things and drove 
my bike really fast," Harima said, painting in the bow, then 
working on Michiru's arms.  Dammit, if I'm not careful, I'm 
gonna start talking about feelings again, he thought.  Damn 
alcohol, making me talk too much.

	"It was easier when I could just focus on my art and 
my music and ignore everything else," Michiru said.  "But 
we're all called to something higher than that.  Everyone 
has a purpose, and it isn't self-indulgence.  Easier as that is.  
We all have a destiny, and we can't deny it without self 
destructing and taking the world with us."  Her voice had 
more passion in it than usual.

	"If I have a destiny, it's finding my useless fu...my 
shi...my...my damned old dad, and kicking his ASS," 
Harima said.  "His butt.  His...uh...rear."  He almost rubbed 
his forehead, then realized he was holding a paintbrush.

	Michiru studied him again, making him nervous; he 
almost put a purple stripe across her chest in the painting.  
"Something higher than that, I'm sure, though Haruka 
would probably help you if you helped find Haruka's father 
and beat him up too."

	"Hmm," Harima said.  That could work.  "Well, I 
really want to make children happy with my stories," he 
said.  "That's my goal with my manga."  He now began 
working on her skirt.

	"Laudable," Michiru said, then fell silent again, letting 
him work.  He wasn't sure if the silence or the talking was 
more nerve-wracking.  Who knew what she was thinking?  
Though hopefully nothing bad.

***************

	"Good plan," Haruka said.  "Sounds to me like you've 
got the whole business angle worked out, assuming we can 
drum up enough business.  Just working the school won't 
be enough."

	"Well, I'm hoping you and Harima can put out the 
word to the cycling community, as obviously we'll need 
their business," Akira said.  "And I'll put word around.  My 
biggest worry is possible Imadori-gang sabotage.  As 
Mother is working with them and she will pull no 
punches."

	"Yeah, parents can be pretty nasty like that," Haruka 
said, with the tone of one who knows.  "So we'll need a 
counter-plan for retaliation."

	"I am thinking calling down the vice squad with 
pornography accusations, which knowing that group, will 
likely be true," Akira said.  "And Mother should have a 
hard time fending off that."

	"You can be pretty ruthless," Haruka said admiringly.  
"I bet you hate to lose."

	"I loathe it," Akira admitted, leaning on the railing and 
watching the night settle in.

	Haruka leaned next to her.  "Good.  Either do 
something with all your heart or don't do it at all.  That's 
my motto.  What about Yakumo?"

	"She's got a very mild, kind mentor and she's usually 
very kind and gentle.  I don't think she'll do anything 
sabotage-wise unless provoked.  And it's not wise to 
provoke her," Akira said.

	"Gentle and mild until pissed off?" Haruka asked.

	Akira nodded.  "Exactly.  Which isn't easy, but she 
and Kenji have enough trouble without me adding to it."

	"So what do you think of it?," Haruka said.

	"Tempting as it may be to dream otherwise at times, 
we're all best sticking to one person," Akira said.  "Mother 
thinks I'm in love with Kenji-san, but we're just good 
friends.  But it seems like no one can believe a man and a 
woman can just be friends."  She sighed.

	Haruka looked at Akira assessingly; she gazed back 
coolly, though the intensity of the regard made her a little 
nervous inside.  Finally, Haruka said, "So no chance of me 
seducing you tonight?," wearing a confident grin.

	He was very handsome, but she wasn't going to do 
anything that foolish, though it was flattering, but he was 
teasing, anyway.  "I thought I'd be seducing you," she 
teased back.  

	Haruka's laugh was loud and infectious.  "You're a 
strong one, Takano Akira.  I like that.  If I wasn't 
committed, I think I'd give it a try, but I do have a girlfriend 
now.  So we will just have to live in our fantasies."  

	Akira laughed softly.  "I do not tease so easily as 
Kenji-san."

	"No, you don't," Haruka said.  "It's endearing, how 
easily he crumples up and babbles with just a little teasing."

	Akira smiled fondly.  "Yes.  He gets all flustered and 
flails about."

	"He's come a long way," Haruka said.  "But so have 
I."  Haruka stared off up into the skies now, looking at the 
stars, sounding as distant as they are.

	"I find his efforts at self-improvement commendable, 
if not always successful," Akira said, gazing at the stars 
herself.

	"Better to try and fail than not to try at all," Haruka 
said.  "I've been doing some of that myself."

	"I would imagine you were a lot rougher at one time," 
Akira said.

	Haruka turned to face her.  "I was wild and free like 
the wind and nothing could chain me down.  I was a god.  I 
wasn't tied down to anybody or anything.  I belonged to no 
one but me.  But one woman changed all that."  Haruka's 
voice was full of passion, followed by restraint.  "I tried to 
run away, but I couldn't.  You can't escape destiny," Haruka 
said.  

	Akira regarded Haruka curiously, wondering if he 
regretted falling in love.  Perhaps he both liked it and 
disliked it.  She could understand that sort of confusion.  
His freedom had meant so much to him, and now he'd 
traded it for something else.  For love.  And...destiny.  
Whatever that might mean here.  

	"Well, if I have a destiny, it's failed to let me know 
what it is," Akira said.

	"I didn't think I had one either.  When it comes, you'll 
know," Haruka said softly.  "And there will be no escaping 
it, for good and ill."

	Akira thought about her relationship with Nara.  She'd 
almost not been able to escape that, but that was his family 
as much as anything...it had all just...clicked.  Like it was 
meant to be.  

	"I prefer to think I'm in control of my own future," 
Akira said.

	"I wish I could believe that," Haruka said a little 
wistfully.

	They stood a little while in silence, then Haruka said, 
"I hate being maudlin.  Are you any good at singing?"

	"Not really," Akira confessed.

	"Well, you can try anyway.  Let's make some music 
and forget anything but CRUSHING our enemies," Haruka 
said.

	Akira nodded.  "Lead on."

***************

	Sagano blinked on her return home, as Karasuma was 
sitting in her window.  "Hey there," she said.  "Is there a 
problem?"

	"We need to work on your training," he said.

	"ROCK.  Oooh, idea...is it possible for me to recover 
my lost porn with these skills?" she asked.

	"..."

	"Well, I'd only be able to read it when dreaming, but 
once I master all this, I'll be able to dream and be awake at 
the same time like you, right?" Sagano asked.

	"Yes," he said.  "I never thought of using it to...read 
porn...while doing other things, though."

	Sagano rubbed her hands.  "Don't worry, I'll share.  
How do we start?"

	"For now, just go to sleep the usual way, and then we 
will begin," he said.

	"Are you teaching Tenma this stuff?" she asked as she 
went to get her pajamas.

	"Tenma's talent lies in multiplicity.  I am trying to 
guide her in mastering that," Karasuma said.

	"She's good at math?  I thought she stunk at it," 
Sagano said.  "You'd better turn around while I change."

	He did so, looking out across the city.  "Her ability to 
be many people at once, to call forth her many selves," 
Karasuma said. 

	Sagano finished changing.  "Oh, her cosplay powers."

	"Yes," Karasuma said.

	Sagano flopped down on the bed.  "I'm ready."

	"Then sleep and we will begin," Karasuma said.  

	Sagano tried to sleep.  Of course, she couldn't.  
Instead, she just flailed about mindlessly, trying to make 
her body pass out.  This seemed to go on forever.

	It was only when her pillow attacked her that she 
realized she'd slid into slumber without realizing it.

**************
	
	"Well, that was not quite how I expected," Harima 
said as he and Akira were heading back to his cycle to head 
home.  

	"I was somewhat surprised myself.  But I think you 
made a good impression on Kai'ou-san, which is good, as 
you'll need all the upper class allies you can get if you do 
marry Eri-san," Akira said.

	Harima tugged his beard.  "I wouldn't have thought he 
could change so much.  It was...well, he was still him, but 
not him at once."

	"People change," Akira said.  "So have you."  

	They reached the bike and got on it.  "And you'll have 
to change more, to fit into Eri's world."

	"Yeah," he said.  "I don't know if I ever will."

	"Well, you've made a good start," she said, putting her 
arms around him as they started off.  "Is Haruka-san always 
such a flirt?"

	"He flirts with just about anyone female," Harima 
said.  "Did he flirt with you?"

	"Yes," Akira said.

	"You just have to give him a beating if he gets too 
fresh," Harima said.

	"Oh, is that why you two were wrestling?  We 
assumed it was foreplay," Akira said.

	"..."

	"I am teasing," Akira said quickly.  No Kenji 
freakouts while driving, she reminded herself.

	"We're not...I couldn't...," Harima babbled.

	"I know," she said.  "I was just teasing."  She gave him 
what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze and not a 'knock 
the air out of the driver's lungs so we crash and die' 
squeeze.

	"This is gonna be a long month," Harima muttered as 
he drove on.

**************  

	The lights were out when Akira got home except an 
occasional flash from the living room, but there was an 
eerie music playing	softly as she came inside.  She followed 
it towards the living room, only to half jump out of her skin 
when a voice suddenly shouted, "CRAB BATTLE!"

	Then the music started over.  Creeping to the living 
room, she found Nara, Buddha, and Yoshidayama asleep in 
front of the TV where the idle animation for some video 
game was playing over and over.  Akira smiled and picked 
up Nara, hauling him upstairs, then came down and threw 
blankets over Buddha and Yoshidayama.  

	She felt better he hadn't been alone all night.  A good 
night with friends can make you feel a lot better, she knew.

	Soon, she got ready and went to bed.

***************
	
	As she rode a cloud above a dream landscape, Sagano 
said, "Hey, I could go to Tomo's dreams and terrorize her!  
That would be a good vengeance."

	"In theory," Karasuma said.

	"Why wouldn't it work?" she asked curiously.

	"I would have to hit you until candy came out," he 
said.

	"..."

	"These powers must not be abused for personal 
vengeance; they are a high and sacred duty," Karasuma told 
her.  

	"Then why are you teaching me?" Sagano asked 
curiously.  "I'm not exactly a paragon of self-control, like 
you."

	"Imagination is power, discipline is guidance.  If you 
learn to control your imagination, you will surpass me.  If 
not, I will have to contain the damage," Karasuma said.

	Sagano winced.  "I've never been good at..."

	"You never really tried.  You will learn," Karasuma 
said firmly.

	Sagano licked her lips nervously.  "I suppose it's too 
late to resign."

	"Far too late.  If you do not go to Zha'ha'dum...no, 
wait, if you do not learn self-control, you will destroy 
yourself as your cousin is well on the way to doing," 
Karasuma said, observing a dream town being over-run by 
frog-men ghosts.

	"I'm nothing like Tomo!," Sagano said.

	"The fact that you knew which of your fifteen cousins 
I was describing indicates you know better than that," 
Karasuma said.

	Sagano stared down at the town.  "We here to save the 
town?"

	"Right now, we're focusing on navigating clouds for 
travel," Karasuma said.

	"Wait...you're driving?"

	"You are supposed to be," Karasuma said.

	"SHIT, I forgot!," Sagano said, turning just in time to 
see their cloud about to collide with a huge lightning-filled 
thunderhead.  "Why didn't you warn me???"

	"If you don't learn to focus, you will die," Karasuma 
said.

	Sagano tried desperately to remember what to do.  
"Oh wait, I just..."

	BZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP
PPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	This was not going to be one of her better nights.

**************
	
	"You are going to die," Akira said to Yoshidayama.

	They were all eating breakfast together; Akira was 
pretty proud of her omelets and everyone seemed to be 
enjoying them, which she found gratifying.

	"See?  I told you," Nara said to him.

	"My photographic reflexes will give me what I need to 
stop him," Yoshidayama said confidently, having focused 
his mind into a well-honed self-delusion machine.

	"Sometimes, one must learn by doing, Takano-san," 
Buddha said.

	Too true, Akira thought.

************
	
	Harima was half-asleep before classes started, but 
noticing Mikoto in a trenchcoat and fedora creeping up to 
him confused him.  That was more Tenma's style.  
However, he then saw Tenma giving a big thumbs up.  This 
must be one of Tenma-san's games, he thought.

	Mikoto walked past him, letting a drawing pad unroll 
out of her sleeve onto his desk, then headed for her own.  
The book was labelled 'read at home, Kenji-san'.  So he 
decided he would do so.

************

	"You really shouldn't beat him up," Karen said to 
Harry at lunch.

	"He is going to wreck my sister's relationship.  Which 
she'll probably wreck herself, but he wanted to fight and I 
want him to stay away from my sister before he does any 
more damage," Harry said, waving his sandwich for 
emphasis.

	Karen picked at her rice and vegetables.  "I think..."

	"CRUSH him, he's a punk," Lala said.

	"See, Lala agrees with me," Harry said.

	Karen frowned more.  "But he's so much weaker than 
you.  It's not fair."

	"Don't you watch out for your brother?" Harry 
demanded.

	"Well, yes, but he's only 9.  He can't watch out for 
himself.  Shouldn't Jenny tell him to back off?" Karen 
asked.

	"Some guys aren't good at listening to a woman tell 
them no," Harry said darkly.

	Karen frowned more, but said, "Let me try to get him 
to back down before you fight him, okay?"

	He studied her a moment, then said, "Alright, I'll give 
you that chance.  But if it doesn't work, I'm going to flatten 
him."  He munched down on his sandwich.

	"Just give me the chance," Karen said.

	"Go for it," Harry said.  "Just remember, he's a punk."

	Even punks can use some mercy, Karen thought.

****************

	"But if you get beat up, you might...what about our 
double date this Friday?" Rinko asked Yoshidayama in a 
panic.  

	"Oh, I'll kick his ass," Yoshidayama said.  Full blown 
total delusion had set in as it the only way for him to avoid 
having a heart attack from fear.

	"But...," Rinko began.

	"A man has to do what a man has to do," Ishiyama 
said sagely.  "Good luck, Yoshidayama-san.  Though you 
may fall, you will fall knowing you're a man."

	"Exactly," Yoshidayama said.  

	Karen now came over.  "Yoshidayama-san," she 
began.

	"Come to beg me to have mercy on your boyfriend?," 
he asked her.  "Don't worry, I won't sever any limbs."

	"..."

	Ishiyama shook silently, a hand over his mouth.

	"But Yoshi-san, he's more likely to...," Rinko began.

	"Yoshidayama-san, you know you can't beat Harry," 
Karen began.  "Please call off the fight; I don't want to see 
you get hurt."

	Damn, the ladies dig me, Yoshidayama thought in the 
throes of total delusion.  Even Harry's girlfriend is hot for 
me.

	He put a hand on her shoulder.  "Don't worry, babe, 
I..."

	Karen instinctively grabbed his hand, then rolled and 
tossed him into a wall; he passed out.

	"Oh, I am so sorry!," she said as her normal 
consciousness returned.  "I didn't mean to throw you, I 
just...I wrestle too much," she mumbled.

	"What did you do to him?  Couldn't wait to let Harry 
crush him?" Rinko demanded angrily of Karen, who 
stumbled back, embarrassed.

	"It was an accident!," Karen protested.

	Buddha began peeling Yoshidayama out of the wall.  
"Anyone got a chisel?  He's stuck in here pretty well."

	Yuuki rose and came over with Sagano and Fuyuki.  
"Karen-san, you need to be careful of your strength," Yuuki 
said.  "Rinko-san, I'm sure it was an accident."

	Rinko frowned, eyes narrowing.  "A very convenient 
one."

	"Pliers?  Crowbar?  Anything?," Buddha asked.

	"Fuyuki-san, assist Buddha," Yuuki said crisply.  

	Fuyuki went to the storage closet and got out a broom 
to try to use as a lever.

	"Rinko-san, I'm sure Karen-san didn't do that 
deliberately.  She's not violent," Yuuki said.

	"You're just taking her side because she's your 
friend!," Rinko said angrily.  "Why is everyone always so 
mean to Yoshi-san?"

	Imadori ambled over.  "Karen would never 
deliberately hurt anyone in our class.  And I'm sure she's 
sorry."

	"I'm very sorry," Karen said, bowing.  "I didn't mean 
to hurt him; I wanted to prevent violence."

	"Oh you just want into her pants again like you want 
into everyone's pants, even though you're engaged to 
Sawachika-san now," Rinko snapped angrily at Imadori.  
"Don't you care your friend got hurt?"

	"What Karen just did to him will save him from a far 
worse beating at the hands of Harry," Imadori said slowly, 
as if explaining to a slow-learning child.  "Yoshidayama-
san is my friend, but as his friend, I couldn't stop him 
getting a real beating.  Karen did him a favor throwing him 
into the wall."

	Karen looked over at him nervously, then stared at the 
floor.  

	"Anyone got any lubricant?" Fuyuki asked as they 
tried to get the broom in place.

	"Motor oil count?" Harima asked.

	"Hell, why not," Fuyuki said.

	Harima said, "I'll go get it from my bike.  Don't worry, 
I'll sell it to you cheap as a classmate."

	Akira smiled a tiny smile.

	Fuyuki and Buddha stared at Harima, who didn't seem 
to notice and ambled out.

	"If you think throwing him into a wall is a FAVOR, 
you're insane," Rinko said angrily.

	Ishiyama put a hand on her shoulder, "Yelling won't 
help, Rinko-san.  Why don't we go help pry him out of the 
wall before he breathes in too much concrete?"

	She sagged.  "You're right, Bishi-san.  That can't be 
healthy."  She glared at Karen and let him lead her away.  
	
	Karen stared at the floor.  "I didn't mean to."

	"You have to learn to stop doing that," Yuuki said.  
"Which is why I'm afraid I'm going to have to send you to 
the hallway with a bucket for an hour, then you get to stay 
late and fix the wall."

	Karen winced but nodded.  "That's fair."

	She went to go get her bucket.

	"Harsh," Sagano said to Yuuki.

	"Fair," Yuuki said.  "Yoshidayama should only be 
beaten when he deserves it.  And the wall needs fixing.  
And you know Karen will hardly feel the bucket's weight."

	Sagano frowned, but she accepted Yuuki's judgement.  
"Let's go help get him out of the wall, then."

	It only took a few more people and some motor oil to 
finally peel him loose.  

************
	
	"I can take him," Yoshidayama croaked at the ceiling.  

	"I don't think you're going to be taking anyone for a 
while," Tae-sensei said, shaking her head.  "Where would 
you be taking him?"

	"..."

	"Don't worry, you should be fine by tomorrow.  
Karen-chan tends to hit for distance, not power," Tae-
sensei said.  "Now, Lala would have sent you here for a 
good long time.  She hits for power, you see."

	"Now I know," Yoshidayama mumbled.

	"And knowing is half the battle."

	"And not being hit into a wall for NO REASON is the 
other half," Yoshidayama mumbled.

	"I know," Tae-sensei said, patting his shoulder.  "I'll 
get you running again as soon as I can."

	"Good, I gotta kick Harry's ass after school," 
Yoshidayama said.

	"There's no way you'll be ready for that," Tae-sensei 
said, shaking her head.

	"C'mon, you gotta know some secret method," he 
replied urgently.

	"Enough painkillers to let you function would also 
knock you out," she said.  "Just rest, you can attack him for 
no reason tomorrow."

	"He's trying to keep me away from his sister because 
he's probably got some damn incest-fantasy," Yoshidayama 
grumbled.

	"Well, you won't be fighting him today."

	"Dammit."  

	Yoshidayama napped for several hours until Tae-
sensei woke him up and checked him out.  "Well, do you 
think you can stand?"

	He tried sitting up, then fell over.  "No."

	"Oh dear, I may have to call your parents to come get 
you," she said.

	"No, oh god, no, don't call Mom!," Yoshidayama said 
in a panic.  "She'll try to hit on the vice principals again!"

	"..."

	He managed to get his phone out.  "Maybe I can...oh, 
hey there, Rinko-san," he said.

	Rinko had stuck her head in the door.  Her eyes 
widened and she turned a little red.  "I'm not spying!  I just 
wanted to see if you're okay!"

	"I feel fine," he said confidently, then fell over again.  

	She rushed over to him; Ishimaya trailed in after her.  
"This is terrible!," she said.  "Someone needs to do 
something about that horrible menace who hurt you!," 
Rinko said.

	"Karen-chan is very sweet," Tae-sensei said.  "It's not 
very safe to touch her if you don't fight well, though."

	"I fight just fine and she nearly killed me for no 
reason!," Yoshidayama said.

	"Well, at least there's no permanent damage, right?" 
Ishiyama asked.

	"None," Tae-sensei said.  "He should be fine 
tomorrow, maybe a little achey.  I'd recommend some 
aspirin before bed.  The no-caffiene kind."

	Rinko hovered over Yoshidayama frantically, the 
frenzy of a person who can't actually do anything useful but 
wishes they could.  

	"Hmm, you going to need help getting home?" 
Ishiyama asked.

	"Yeah," Yoshidayama said, defeated.

	"That's fine, I'm done with soccer club, so Dad's gonna 
be here soon to take me home; we could take you too," 
Ishiyama said.

	"Oh, could you?" Rinko said, turning and taking 
Ishiyama's hands.  "That's so kind of you!"

	"We could take you too, Rinko-san," Ishiyama said.  "I 
dunno if I can manhandle Yoshidayama in and out of the 
car by myself.  And Dad doesn't like to get out of the 
driver's seat once he's in it.  'Children are for hauling 
things', as he says."

	Rinko squeezed his hands and smiled brightly.  Tae-
sensei's glance flicked back and forth between them.  Rinko 
said, "Oh, you're so kind, Bishi-san."  Her smile was bright 
enough to blind people.

	"You two can make out later," Yoshidayama 
grumbled.  "I'd better get home so I can plot my revenge in 
comfort."

	"But we...I...," Rinko turned red.  

	"C'mon, help me help him up.  Thanks for taking care 
of him, sensei," Ishiyama said to Tae-sensei.  

	"Just doing my job," she said, smiling brightly.

	They headed on out.

	Slowly, with several near-drops.

*************

	As Yakumo came into the living room to work on 
manga with Harima, she noticed a new notebook titled 
'Read This At Home', half-sticking out of Harima's bag.  
"What's this?" she asked.

	"What is what?" he asked, busy setting up their 
supplies on the table.
	
	"This notebook," she asked.

	"Huh?  Dunno, Mikoto slipped it to me all commando 
style.  Seems like something Tenma would tell her to do, 
but I had forgotten I had it," he said.

	Yakumo picked it up and began to page through it.  

	Harima heard her give a gasp, then she fell over.

	"Yakumo-san!" he said, turning to find her sprawled 
out with the book on her face.  He pulled it aside and saw 
she looked rather flushed, and now seemed to be asleep.

	He looked warily at the book.  What the hell?  
"Tenma-san!" he shouted.

	Tenma came running in.  "What happened?"  

	"This thing Mikoto-san gave me, it knocked Yakumo-
san out!"  Harima said, poking it warily with a ruler.  

	"Hmm, let me see," Tenma said, picking it up and 
beginning to flip through it.

	"Tenma-san, it's dangerous!" Harima said.  

	Tenma quickly turned red, tried to say something, then 
fell over, steam from her ears, the book falling on her face.

	This must be some sort of demon, Harima thought, 
quickly pulling it off her face with the ruler.  I'm going to 
have to call Sara.

**************

	"Thank you for giving me a ride," Rinko said warmly 
to Ishiyama, giving him a hand-squeeze, then getting out of 
the car.  "I'm very grateful."

	"Well, we go by here every day, so if you want, you 
could get a ride with us every day," Ishiyama said.  "Uh, if 
you don't mind, Dad."

	"Fine with me," Mr. Ishiyama said.  "We're just a few 
blocks over."

	"Oh, really?" Rinko said.  "I should come visit some 
time."

	"Any time you like," Ishiyama said quickly.

	"I just hope Yoshi-san will be okay," Rinko said.

	"I'm sure he'll be fine," Ishiyama said.  "His mother 
can pop him in one of her baby cribs and take care of him 
with the others."

	Rinko laughed.  "That's true.  See you tomorrow, then, 
Bishi-san!"  And she took off.

	"Bishi-san?" his father asked curiously.  

	"Don't ask," Ishiyama said, but he was smiling 
broadly.

************

	Sara looked dubiously at the notebook.  "I don't think 
it's a demon, Harima-san."

	"But it took Yakumo-san and Tenma-san down for the 
count," he said.

	She studied them.  "Well, Yakumo-chan does fall 
asleep for no reason, but her big sister isn't so prone to 
that."  She kneeled and prayed over the book.  "There, it 
should be fine."

	She passed it to Harima, who paged through it, eyes 
widening and face reddening.  He gave a loud snort and fell 
over, unconscious, steam coming out of his ears.  The book 
landed on his face as he fell.

	Sara blinked and decided to call reinforcements.

************

	Mikoto said, "But it's just pictures.  I took a quick look 
earlier and it all seemed perfectly normal.  Kind of 
romantic, really."

	Akira studied the book from a distance.  "My kohai 
falls asleep easily, but Kenji-san and Tenma-chan also were 
taken out.  But I was sure it was just pictures."

	Asou leaned on his baseball bat.  "You made it sound 
more threatening over the phone, Sara-san."

	"Oh, we were bored anyway," Suga said.  "You can 
only make out so mu..."  He failed to finish thanks to an 
Asou-elbow to the gut.

	The unconscious people continued to just lie there.

	"I tried to ask Sawachika-sempai, but she got 
embarrassed and started babbling about Sagano-sempai, 
which makes no sense at all," Sara said.

	"Did you try calling Sag...," Akira began.  "On second 
thought, she would only confuse us more, I think."

	"Look, I've handled this before without passing out, so 
let me deal with it," Mikoto said.  She darted down and 
grabbed the notebook, then began paging through it.  

	Everyone watched warily, and Asou and Suga hefted 
their bats.  

	"Hmm, this is definitely better than Eri's usual 
drawing.  I wish I could draw like this," Mikoto said, 
giving a little sigh.  

	Page, page.

	"Oooh, now these are kind of sexy, here, but really, it's 
all PG at most and mostly G unless you think kissing is 
super-naughty," Mikoto said.  She studied the last few 
pages.  "Now, see, you could easily continue this sequence 
to get naughty, but really, it's just...hmm, that's odd, one of 
the Eri-s is wearing glasses."

	"Hmm, perhaps Mikoto-chan is more perverted than 
our fallen friends and this immunizes her," Akira said 
speculatively.

	"..."

	"Or less prone to over-react to everything," Asou said.  
"Let me see that."

	Mikoto passed it to him.

	It was a series of romantic drawings of Eri with 
Harima.  They were very intimate, more intimate than he'd 
ever noticed those two being.  They were kind of exciting, 
but not enough to render someone unconscious.  Unless 
they had an overblown imagination, anyway.

	Then he got to the last few, which had two versions of 
Eri making out with Harima at once.  His eyes widened a 
little as his imagination briefly wandered, but he was used 
to beating his imagination with a stick.  "I have a feeling 
we probably all came out here for nothing."

	He passed the book around; Sara turned a little red and 
Akira seemed to stare at the last few pages longer than 
might have been strictly necessary, but no one passed out.

	"Excitable imaginations," Asou said.  "I think it would 
be wiser that we not mention to Sawachika that so many of 
us looked at this, though.  I expect this was meant to be 
private.  We should probably just put them all to bed and 
go home."

	"It's really not that big of a deal.  Nothing there I 
haven't done," Mikoto said.

	Akira looked at her.  "Even the last ones?  You and 
Miki..."

	Mikoto turned red.  "No!  We don't...I mean..."

	"It's not our business," Asou said firmly.  "Let's just 
forget this ever happened once we leave here."

	"I'm sorry I called in everyone, but..," Sara began.

	Asou took Sara's hand.  "It's okay.  You couldn't 
know.  Now let's get them all to bed."

	They went to work.

**************

	Harima awoke with a definite sense of confusion.  He 
was pretty sure that he'd been about to do some 
manga...Yakumo passed out...

	Yakumo was asleep on his chest and they were in bed.  
Still wearing their day clothing.

	He shook Yakumo gently.  "Wake up."

	Yakumo woke up groggily, then blinked at Harima.  
"Did we go to bed?"

	"Uh...did we?" he asked.

	"Well, I don't mind," she said, laying down again and 
smiling a little.  

	"I'm sorry, but I have to go work on my manga," he 
said, yawning.  There had been...pictures?  He had this 
great idea for a romantic interlude in the manga.  There 
would be a doppleganger and she and the princess would be 
trying to get a kiss from the hero, but he wouldn't know 
which one was real, so he'd have to figure it out...

	Yeah, that would be great.  "Do you mind getting up 
and helping me?"

	"It's okay," Yakumo said, getting up reluctantly.  Her 
stomach grumbled.  

	"Maybe we'd better go make dinner," Harima said.

	"You draw, I'll cook," Yakumo said.

	"Okay," he said, and they both headed out to work.

************

	"Yeah, this looks awesome," Imadori said to Miki, 
looking around the shop.  Mrs. Takano was here, with most 
of the rest of the Video Club milling about.  The shop was 
very well stocked, it looked like, and it even had an area 
where you could rent computers for gaming.  It looked 
perfect.

	"What do you think, Buddha?" he asked Buddha.

	"The video section will need enlarging," Buddha said.

	Shin began examining the computers.  "Nice machines 
here.  I think we're gold."

	"Do you have the staffers for us, Takano-san?" 
Imadori asked her.

	"Yes," she said.

	"Good.  Any reason we can't open tomorrow?" he 
asked.

	Mrs. Takano looked over at Miki.

	"I can close the deal tomorrow and you could open the 
next day," she said to Imadori.

	"Anyone else see any problems?" Imadori asked.

	With no complaints, the deal was sealed.

**************

	Mikoto was working out when her phone rang.  
"Hello?"

	"Hi," Eri said.  "Did you...have you heard...," her 
voice was very tentative.

	"Nice art," Mikoto said to Eri.

	Eri sounded embarrassed.  "You looked at it?"

	"I think Kenji liked it so much he passed out," Mikoto 
said.

	"..."

	"That's good, I think.  He probably got overexcited 
and passed out.  It took out Yakumo and Tenma too," 
Mikoto continued.

	"They...SAW IT?"

	"Uh, yeah," Mikoto said.

	Silence.

	"Eri?"

	Silence.

	"Eri?" Mikoto sounded worried now.

	Silence.

	I'd better go over to Eri's, Mikoto thought.

***********
	
	Nara half jumped out of his skin when Akira suddenly 
put her hands on his shoulders as he was doing homework.  
"Ahh!"

	She jumped back, and he said, "Oh, it's you, dear.  
Sorry, you surprised me."

	She came over to him, putting her hands on his 
shoulders.  "Mmmm," she said appreciatively.

	"What was going on?"

	"Just some art criticism," Akira said, "It..."  She trailed 
off without finishing.

	"Hmm?" he asked.

	"Oh, just wishing you could be in two places at once."  
She paused.  "Around me.  To...kiss me," she said softly.  

	He leaned forward and kissed her softly.  "Like that?"

	"Yes, if...it's silly.  Impossible.  Just kind of...,"  Akira 
shook her head, then kissed him back.  "I should do 
homework too."

	He blinked curiously, then pulled her out a chair.  
"Join me."

	They quickly went to work.

***************

	"You okay?" Mikoto asked Eri as she sat on Eri's bed 
with her.

	"I'm fine," Eri said.  "Sorry to drag you out here."

	"It's okay," Mikoto said.  "I really did like the 
pictures."

	"I hope Kenji did after all the work I did," Eri said 
irritably.  "And didn't just faint and forget it all."

	"He really ought to be with you right now," Mikoto 
said.  "I mean...," then she decided maybe it wasn't best to 
bring up the rivalry.  "On the other hand, Imadori might 
demand to sleep with you."

	Eri made a face.  "Stupid Little Miss Perfect and her 
always gone parents with no security men so she can have 
whoever she wants over whenever she wants."  

	"Well, I can't have my boyfriend over to my place at 
night, either," Mikoto said.  "So I know how you feel."

	"Yeah, but you two get to take baths over at Hanai's 
place and stuff, right?" Eri asked.  "Or if you slip off to 
Miki and Masahiro's place..."

	Mikoto laughed nervously.  "We haven't tried 
anything since coming back from the lodge, though maybe 
this weekend."

	"Well, it probably wouldn't hurt you to take a break," 
Eri said crankily.

	Mikoto frowned, but tried to be understanding.  "Your 
time will come, Eri-chan."

	"I just...dammit, I should be able to have him over if I 
want to," Eri said.  "I'm not a child any more."

	"Well, you could always elope," Mikoto said.  "But as 
long as you live under your folk's authority, you have to 
live with their rules."  She tapped her cheek.  "Hmm...."

	"Hmm?" Eri asked.

	"Maybe...surely you get to visit the various business, 
right?"

	"Yes, I would think so, the way I helped run the 
parties," Eri said.

	"So maybe we can pull a fast one and switch someone 
for you when you go to visit the cycle shop.  You could get 
a little together time, at least, right?"  Mikoto said.

	"Hmm, well, it's worth trying.  It's not like they can 
cut me off from him MORE," Eri said.

	"Exactly," Mikoto said.  "Let's go for it."

	"Yeah," Eri said, regaining her confidence.  "Nothing 
ventured, nothing gained."

	They began making plans.

****************

	"Boy, if you mess with the boy who did this to you 
again, you will die," Yoshidayama's mother said to him the 
next morning.

	For his pride, Yoshidayama did not correct her 
assumption a guy had done it to him.  "A man's got to do 
what a man's got to do."

	"Well, you leave me no choice, then," she said.

	Nothing his mother ever said could ever terrify 
Yoshidayama as much as her periodic pronouncements of 
this.  He shivered.  "I am not bathing in oatmeal again!"

	She paused.  "What?"

	"Nothing," he said, slightly relieved.  Maybe that was 
only for when a skunk sprayed you.

	"Amazon Lasso Attack!" she shouted, suddenly 
producing coils of rope which quickly hog-tied 
Yoshidayama.

	"Dammit, mom, you can't become an amazon by 
taking a correspondence course!," Yoshidayama said, 
struggling.

	"You will remain tied up until you come to your 
senses," his mother said, now turning back to her bowl of 
Fruit Loops.  

	 "You can't hold me prisoner!  I'm a free man!," 
Yoshidayama yelled.

	"It's for your own good," she said and began eating.  

	"You're not going to put me in the damn crib, are 
you?" he asked.

	"Hmm, good idea."

	"DAMMIT!!!!!!"

************

	"He's not answering his phone," Rinko said worriedly.

	"He's probably just sick or something," Ishiyama said.

	Rinko frowned, staring off across the classroom at an 
oblivious Karen.  Something would have to be done.

***************

	"You really didn't have to bring over any of your 
family's employees," Harima said to Mikoto.

	Harima, Mikoto, Hanai, Haruka, Akira, and Nara were 
hard at work getting the cycle shop all polished up so they 
could open it the next day, with some help from some of 
Mikoto's family's flunkies.

	"Oh, don't worry," Mikoto said, grinning in a way 
which made Harima nervous.  "Just doing a friend a favor."

	One of the flunkies kept staring at him, which made 
Harima a little nervous, though at least Haruka wasn't being 
flirty.  With him, anyway.  

	"Come help me bring out some supplies," the flunky 
in question said roughly, taking Harima by the hand and 
dragging him to the back room, which was full of 
enigmatically labelled boxes.

	"So what are we getting?," Harima asked.

	"THIS," the flunky said, then grabbed him and kissed 
him.

	He was working up a good head of panic when he 
realized several things.  First, this was a woman.  Secondly, 
it was Eri!  This increased the power of his kissing.

	That kept them busy a while.

**************

	Agent F stared at the monitor.  "What's she writing?"

	Three agents were monitoring Eri, who was wearing a 
nice red dress as she sat at her desk doing homework.  In 
theory.  She kept cackling about 'Tomo' for some reason, 
and from what little they could see, she seemed to be 
writing out some sort of 20 step plan.

	But so long as the Harima boy was kept at a distance, 
they wouldn't intervene.  And there was no sign of him.  
The lone ranged monitor indicated he was somewhere 
inside his cycle shop, working.  

	That was good enough for now.

************

	Imadori's eyes sparkled.  The ladies Takano-san had 
hired to run the store on the dayshift were all perfect, in his 
opinion.  They'd bring the customers running.

	They'd be bringing him running, but some sort of 
mysterious force was holding him back.  Also, his 
waistband felt oddly tight in front.

	Then he realized Takano-san had hooked a finger 
through one of his belt loops.  "No touching the staff," 
Takano-san said.  "I'll put you in a box for a timeout with 
some weasels if you touch or harrass any of my girls.  
They're here to attract business and make money, not for 
you, the man with a FIANCEE to flirt with them."

	Imadori pointed in frustration.  "But everyone else is!"  
Even Buddha was successfully having some flirty 
conversation with the staff.

	"They're not engaged," Takano-san said primly.

	I am in hell, Imadori thought.  HELL.  

	It was only after a few minutes of this that he realized 
how skillfully the ladies in question were harvesting the 
club members of all their money to buy things, either for 
themselves or as a 'present' for one of the young ladies.

	Then it hit him.

	The entire day staff was like Takano-san in Mikoto-
chan's body.

	All of them.

	The perfect combination to fleece every Otaku on 
earth.

	"You are the most evil woman I have ever met," 
Imadori mumbled.

	"Thank you," Takano-san said.

	"We're going to have all the money in the world, aren't 
we," Imadori said.  It wasn't a question.

	"And I get a 25% agency fee.  Finally, I'll be able to 
get the new house I've been wanting.  And the limo too," 
Takano-san said.

	Well, he could look forward to the money, right?  At 
least he would be paid well to live in hell for a month.

************

	Eri had lost track of time and wasn't all that interested 
in resuming its trail.  However, she was forced back to 
reality by Haruka saying, "Hey, lovebirds, we're all done 
out here and Mikoto needs to leave with her minions."

	Eri sighed.  "But we hardly..."

	"One takes what one can get when it comes to covert, 
illicit love," Haruka said.  "And Kenji IS supposed to be 
working."

	"Hey, I thought...," Harima began.

	"Also, we need to practice our yaoi routine," Haruka 
said, grinning.

	"There is no such thing!," Harima protested.

	"Anyway, three minutes to say bye, then you'd best 
come out or I'll have to join you," Haruka said.

	"..."

	Then Haruka left.

	"Kenji-san, I've missed you," Eri said softly.

	"And I've missed you," he said.  "Don't worry, I WILL 
win.  I took round one and I will SWEEP the rest.  And 
don't listen to anything Haruka says when he's just being all 
flirty.  Or teasing."

	She rested her head on his chest.  "I don't want to be a 
prize."

	"Well, we could just hop on a cycle and drive and 
never come back," he said softly.

	"It's so tempting," she said.  "But I can't...They're so 
stupid but they're family and...DAMMIT," she cursed at the 
universe, banging his chest with her head.

	"Better not curse," he said.  "You'll get in trouble."

	She began to laugh.  "Yes, mother," she said.

	Harima looked around.  "Oh shit, your mom is here?"

	Eri laughed louder.  "No, she's not."

	"But you said...," Harima began.  

	She kissed him softly.  "You really mean it about 
running away?"

	"I don't run away from nothing," he said.  "But I ain't 
gonna give up, even if I lose.  But I will WIN," he said.

	Men can be so hard to understand, Eri thought.

*************

	Yakumo studied the costumes Yuri had obtained and 
her volunteers for the evening shift.  Some of them were 
actual animal costumes of the style worn by athletic 
mascots and characters at Disneyland.  Others were 
basically variations on the classic 'Playboy Bunny' suit with 
minor animal accessories to indicate what kind of animal.  
"We have two kinds of costumes," she pointed out to Yuri.

	"Well, not everyone would feel comfortable in those," 
she said, pointing to the bunny outfits.  "So I got some of 
the other kind, too."

	"I don't have to be a rabbit, do I?" Inaba asked.  

	"You can be anything you like," Yakumo said.
	
	"We should save the penguin suit for if Takano-
sempai visits," Sara said, digging through them.

	"Maybe we could get some smaller ones so kids who 
come could dress up too," Satsuki suggested.

	"Hmm, if we can be sure they don't get too trashed, 
that would be good," Yuri said.

	"Are you going to wear one too, sensei?" Satsuki 
asked Yuri.  

	"I should," Yuri said.  "I'll have to wear an apron over 
it, though, as I'll be cooking."

	Inaba elbowed Tougo's sister (who must remain 
nameless as the manga-ka has yet to name her).  "So, what 
are you going to dress up as?"

	"I'm trying to think of an elegant animal," she said.

	"Penguins always wear a tuxedo," Inaba said.

	"We have to save that one for sempai," Sara said.

	"Lions are King of the Jungle.  That's elegant, right?"

	"Hmm, we do have a lion one," Satsuki said, passing it 
to her.  It was one of the mascot-style costumes.

	Tougo-no-imouto (Tougo's sister) went in the back to 
try it on.  Shortly thereafter, they began to hear banging 
noises.  

	Yakumo and Inaba ran to the back, only to find 
Tougo-no-imouto walking into the wall repeatedly.  "I can't 
see!"

	Yakumo held her in place and Inaba adjusted the head.  
"Better?" Inaba asked.

	"Yes," Tougo-no-imouto said.

	They had to help steer her out into the main room.  "I 
think these things need better visibility," Inaba said.  "But 
the kids will love them."

	"I'm sure we can make some adjustments," Yuri said.  
"Why don't you all test them out for any trouble while I go 
double check our supplies?"

	Satsuki nodded.  "Let's go!"

**************

	Saeko munched on her jello.  "Wow, this is good," 
She was having lime jello, which had little slices of fruit in 
it.  

	Nagayama was having lemon jello with strawberry 
slices.  "I like mine too.  I didn't know your family 
normally has so many kinds of jello in the fridge," she said.

	"It's...a special occasion," Rinko said a little nervously.

	"Well, thanks for inviting us over to study with you," 
Saeko said.  "So how are you and your new boyfriend 
doing?"

	"He's not my boyfriend," Rinko said.  "Bishi-san and I 
are just friends," she said firmly.  

	This seemed to be like trying to plug holes in a dyke 
with one's pinky finger, though.

	"Oh, they're still at the dating preliminaries stage," 
Nagayama said to Saeko.  Nothing formal...yet."

	"So plan the wedding for NEXT year, at graduation," 
Saeko said, grinning a little.

	"Is Yoshidayama-san going to be recovered enough 
for your double date on Friday?  That's only two days 
away," Nagayama said.

	"Tae-sensei insists he'll be fine tomorrow, so I think 
so," Rinko said.  But she wasn't sure.  She nervously ate her 
own cherry jello, which had blackberry slices in it.  

	"You angling to get to use the other two tickets if 
Yoshidayama and his date bail out, hmm?" Saeko asked 
Nagayama.

	Nagayama turned red.  "I wouldn't be so crass as to try 
to muscle in!"

	"Well, if something happens and he can't come, Bishi-
san and I would love to have you come with us with 
Tanaka-san, Nagayama-san," Rinko said.

	"I guess I get to sit alone and cry," Saeko said, not 
actually seeming too worried.

	"I...Saeko-san..."

	Saeko laughed.  "No, it's fine.  I work my first shift at 
Tsukamoto's Wild Kingdom that night.  Come by, so I can 
be your waitress and extract nice fat tips from you."

	"Oh, you're working for Tenma-chan's little sister?" 
Rinko asked.

	"Yeah.  Most of the employees are first year, so I 
should be able to outshine them and get good tips," Saeko 
said.

	"You can be so evil," Nagayama said teasingly.

	"I'd see about a job at the cycle shop so I could hit on 
Harima-san's boytoy, but I know NOTHING about 
motorcycles," Saeko said.  "Waitressing, on the other hand, 
is my specialty.  And I expect between the cute girls and 
the cute teacher, we should have a horde of easily led 
around men to harvest money from."

	"See, that's why you don't have a boyfriend," 
Nagayama said to Saeko.  "Men aren't just a source of 
money."

	"I don't have a boyfriend because I haven't met the 
right guy yet," Saeko said.  "Though I bet Hanai would 
make a good one for me if he wasn't so totally taken."

	"And if Mikoto wouldn't kill you for hitting on him," 
Rinko said, waving a spoon of jello in the air for emphasis.

	"That too," Saeko said.  "But I'll find someone.  Once 
I'm done building up my college tuition money."

	"Kazuya-san and I are going to the same college," 
Nagayama said a little dreamily, dropping her spoon into 
her jello.

	"I heard Shigeo and Madoka are doing that too," 
Rinko said.  She imagined herself and Yoshidayama at 
college together, riding to classes on his motorcycle...he did 
have one, right?  It seemed exactly his style.

	The doorbell rang.  Rinko ran across the living room 
to the entrance niche.  "Come in," she said, opening the 
door.

	It was Ishiyama, holding a heavy bag.  "Here's all the 
jello kits you wanted," he said.  "Though I can't even 
imagine how you could need so much.  Oh, hi, guys...uh, 
gals," he said, waving to Saeko and Nagayama.  

	"..."  Saeko stared mindlessly.

	"I...Rinko-san...that's a lot of jello," Nagayama said 
weakly.

	"Why don't you come in and study with us and have 
some jello?," Rinko asked.  "I tried a new mix for the grape 
jello."

	"Sure," he said.  "You guys...gals...studying?"

	"Yes, join us," Saeko said.

	"Maybe I should call Tanaka-san too," Nagayama 
said.

	"Funny you should say that," Ishiyama said.

	Tanaka-san stumbled up to the door with two heavy 
bags full of jello mix.  "I wish Dad had gotten us a deal on 
a handcart to carry these bags with," he mumbled.

	Nagayama stared mindlessly.  

	Saeko stared, then rose and came over, taking one of 
the bags.  She wobbled.  "You're not smuggling drugs in 
this, are you?"

	"Thank you so much, Tanaka-san," Rinko said.  She 
came and took the bags to the kitchen one at a time.  "What 
flavor do you like?  I have 23 already made."

	"Umm, do you have tropical punch?" Tanaka asked.  

	"It's coming," Rinko said.  "Bishi-san, grape for you?"

	"Grape is fine with me," Ishiyama said.

	The guys came over and sat down; they could hear 
Rinko noises in the kitchen.

	Tanaka said, "Are we having a jello sampling party?  
What's going on?"

	"I don't know; last time, all they had was one bowl of 
lemon jello," Nagayama said softly.  "I mean, they always 
have some jello here, but not THIS MUCH."

	"Maybe she's been possessed by Bill Cosby," Saeko 
said.

	Everyone stared.

	"That was a joke," Saeko said.  

	"Whew," Ishiyama said.

	"She's your girlfriend," Saeko said to him.  "Any idea 
what's going on?"

	"I am clueless," Ishiyama said.  "Maybe she just wants 
to make some special jello so she's practicing."

	Rinko brought out two bowls of jello.  "Here you go."

	She sat down with everyone.  "Shall we study?"

	"Sure," Saeko said.  "But why so much jello?"

	"No reason," Rinko said nervously.

	"What, you just spontaneously decided to make 48 or 
more kinds of jello?" Saeko asked.  "We don't have some 
jello-based home ec exam I forgot, do we?"

	"Don't worry about it, just enjoy the fruit flavors," 
Rinko said quickly.

	They did indeed enjoy the flavors, but left with a 
slight tang of worry in their mouths when studying was 
done.

**************

	"You know I'll be glad to help you if you want," 
Tenma said to Yakumo.

	Karasuma nodded to Yakumo; the three of them were 
on the backporch of the house.

	"Thank you, onee-chan."  Yakumo was worried that if 
Tenma wore any animal costumes, she might suddenly 
think she was an animal, though.  And she couldn't cook 
very well.  Though maybe if she stuck to the 'bunny' style 
costumes...

	"Ooji-kun and I will back you up, right, Ooji-kun?" 
Tenma asked.

	"Yes," Karasuma said.

	"I'm just...," Yakumo began.

	"Worried about the costumes?" Karasuma asked.

	Yakumo blinked, wondering if he read minds too.  
"Onee-chan is a wonderful actress, but you do sometimes 
lose yourself in a part," she said.

	"I will help her.  I am training her in this," Karasuma 
said.

	Tenma nodded.  "Don't worry, I didn't turn into a 
penguin at all when I was skiing!"

	"Okay then, thank...," Yakumo began.

	Then Harima grabbed her, pulling her up into a kiss. 
Her eyes widened and she vastly enjoyed it in the few 
seconds before she fainted.

	"..."  Tenma stared.

	"You have to leave her some oxygen," Karasuma said 
helpfully.

	Harima sighed, then took her in his arms.  "I guess I'll 
put her to bed, then," he said.

	"Wow, that was some kiss," Tenma said a little 
enviously.  "Boyfriend, kiss me now."

	He kissed Tenma's nose.  

	"Like Kenji kissed my sister!," Tenma said.

	Harima started to go, as he didn't want to watch this.  
He was getting over Tenma, but no point in filling his 
wounds with saltpeter.  Or was it normal salt?  What was 
saltpeter, anyway?  Some kind of food mascot?

	Tenma fainted from having all the oxygen sucked out 
of her a few seconds later, but he was too far gone to 
notice.

*************

	"Where is Rinko-san?" Yoshidayama asked Ishiyama 
curiously the next morning.  "Hasn't she started riding with 
you?"

	"Yes," he said.  "But she told me she was sick from 
too much jello."  He shook his head ruefully.

	"Jello?" Yoshidayama asked in confusion.

	"Don't ask me why, but she made a ton of it yesterday 
and it was good, but I expect too much sugar gave her...I 
don't know...something bad.  Probably diarrhea," Ishiyama 
said.

	"I am so gonna kick that punk ass bitch's ass today," 
Yoshidayama snarled.  "I swore I'd never end up in that 
crib again, dammit!"

	It was best not to know, really, Ishiyama thought.  
"Does Harry actually know you're going to kick his ass 
today?"

	"I can handle that," Yoshidayama said.

	He stormed over to 2-D, where Takahashi Seta, the 
new class president, was about to call the class to order.  
Harry was on the phone.

	Yoshidayama strode up to Harry.  "Bitch!  No more 
hiding behind your girlfriend!  I kick your fucking ass 
tonight!"  It was the madness talking, of course.

	"You're attacking Harry tonight?" one of the girls in 
the class asked.  Yoshidayama had no idea of her name, but 
she was a short red head who looked rather strong.

	"DAMN STRAIGHT," Yoshidayama said.

	"Fine, happy to kick your useless ass," Harry said.  
"Now go away, I'm on the phone."

	"We have to crush him before he reduces Harry's 
radiant beauty!," the red-head shouted.  "DEATH TO THE 
PUNK!"

	Soon, a small army of women was on Yoshidayama, 
kicking his ass in every way known to woman.

	Which as you know, is not fun at all.

	However, Lala did not join in; instead, she frowned at 
this.  "You going to let these women fight for you, Harry?" 
she asked, feeling irritated.

	"I never asked to fight Yoshidayama in the first place.  
And you're the last person on Earth with a right to complain 
about women fighting," Harry said to her.  "Now, I'm on 
the phone, so..."

	Seta was studying the situation, trying to decide 
whether or not to let the beating procede.

	"This is like kicking a puppy," Lala said angrily, then 
dove into the pile.

	Soon, there were women flying everywhere, until 
finally, she stood carrying a knocked out Yoshidayama, 
with fangirls at her feet and scattered in a circle around the 
room.  "Pathetic.  There's nothing worse than mobbing a 
weakling," Lala said.

	"Not a weakling," Yoshidayama mumbled, apparently 
not quite really unconscious.

	"I'll be back," Lala said, heading over to 2-C.

	She strode in, carrying a knocked out Yoshidayama.  
Karen winced.  "You didn't have to...," she began.

	"I never touched him," Lala said.  She strode over to 
Imadori.  "You ought to do more to take care of your own," 
she said to Imadori.  "But then, you're too much of a 
coward to protect anyone."

	"Damnation, what the hell happened to him?" Imadori 
said with a sort of horrified awe.

	"I count a good dozen different footprints on his back 
alone," Buddha said.

	"Harry has apparently decided phone calls are more 
important than being a man and that he should let mobs 
attack harmless fools," Lala said.  "A true warrior confronts 
his foes directly."

	"I never pretended to be a warrior," Imadori said.  
"But if you want..."

	GRAB.

	"MONKEY!"  Lala pounded Imadori into the ground, 
then sighed.  "Even Imadori is showing more bravery.  
Shameful."  

	She turned to Karen.  "This is your boyfriend's fault.  
Take care of him."

	Karen gulped.  "But he's probably afraid..."

	"Take care of him," Lala said firmly.  Then she strode 
off.

	"Don't worry, Karen.  Nurse Tenma is on the case," 
Tenma said, having somehow changed into a nurse's 
uniform.  "Here, put on this assistant outfit, and we can 
take him to the infirmary."  She held it out to Karen.

	"But...we're in the middle of class..." Karen mumbled.

	Tenma seemed to crack the uniform like a whip at 
Karen, who found herself now somehow clad in it.  "There 
you go.  Let's get him some help."

*****************

	Yukari was getting very tense.  Some stalker was 
watching her house and Kyousuke was unable to visit her.  
Nyamo insisted Umino hadn't told her parents, which 
meant that he was undoubtably lying to her, and she would 
somehow have to kill him with his own perverted bread 
he'd used to seduce poor, innocent Nyamo-chan.  

	Unfortunately, her attempt to use her legos to build a 
model for something that killed perverts with bread had hit  
the wall of her complete lack of engineering ability. 

	So, there was really only one choice.  Tap the evil 
talents of her students.  "I am adding a bonus assignment.  
Anyone who can do it will get an automatic A on their next 
test."

	Heads swivelled and began paying attention.

	"I need a device, self-propelled, which kills idiot men 
with bread," Yukari said.

	"..."  The class was stunned in unison.

	"As soon as possible," Yukari said.  "Now, back to 
English.  Repeat after me, 'Umino is vermin'."

	"Umino is vermin," the class repeated.  They were 
growing used to the daily litany.

	"He must be destroyed," Yukari said passionately.

	"He must be destroyed!"

	"I will break his evil spell!," Yukari continued.

	"I will break his evil spell!"

	"He makes me...," Yukari paused, suddenly realizing 
she was so frustrated she couldn't even remember her own 
hate anthem correctly.  "Sick..." she said tentatively.

	"He makes me sick..."

	"And tired," Chiyo added helpfully. 

	Yukari threw a shoe at her to discourage her from 
remembering more than her teacher in the future.

*************

	"My goodness, I haven't seen a beating this thorough 
for a while.  I expect he'll be in no shape to go anywhere 
for a while," Tae-sensei said.  "Though he should be fine 
by next Monday.  But I should see about getting him home, 
as he needs rest."

	"No need for us to rebuild him as a cyborg?", Nurse 
Tenma asked, disappointed.

	"..."  Nurse Karen stared.

	"I'll call his mother," Tae-sensei said.

	"He may need a nurse on standby, maybe I should go 
with him," Nurse Tenma said.

	"You have class," Tae-sensei pointed out.

	"BORING class," Nurse Tenma said.

	"I'm sure his mother will be able to meet his needs, as 
I'm pretty sure there's no internal damage.  He just needs 
rest and some good home cooking," Tae-sensei said.  "Let 
me call his mother..."

	Lala walked in.  "Does he live?"

	"He just needs to go home," Tae-sensei said.  "So 
what's wrong with you, Lala-chan?"

	"I just came to check on him," Lala said.  "Since my 
class beat him up."  She grimaced.  "I can take him home."

	"That's kind of you," Tae-sensei said.  "Shouldn't you 
be in class too, though?"

	"English is boring," Lala said.  

	"Amen," Nurse Tenma said.

	"But there's many fine wrestling shows in English," 
Nurse Karen pointed out.

	Lala vibrated, torn between extremes.

	"Well, I'll call his mother; she may want your help, 
Lala," Tae said.  "We'll see."

****************
	
	"Hello, Yoshidayama house," Yoshidayama's mother 
said.

	"Is Yoshidayama-san doing okay?" Karen asked on 
the phone.  She was on her way home from school.

	"He's fine, just beat up.  Are you his girlfriend?," 
Yoshidayama's mother asked.

	"No, I'm his classmate, Ichijou Karen," Karen said.

	"Do you know this Jenny girl?  He keeps babbling 
about her in his sleep.  And some demon named 'Keiichi'," 
Yoshidayama's mother said.

	"I know her a little," Karen said.  "She's...a good 
fighter."

	"Hmm, that's good," Yoshidayama's mother said.  "He 
needs someone to keep all these women from kicking his 
ass.  He's brave, but he just can't measure up to his father 
for strength," she continued.

	Karen winced.  "He means well," she mumbled, not 
sure what to say.

	"If the boy keeps writing checks his body can't cash, 
I'll lose him the same way I lost his father," Yoshidayama's 
mother said.

	"Umm...," Karen said, curious but not wanting to pry.

	"I'm sure you're wondering how I lost his father," 
Yoshidayama's mother said.

	Karen jumped.

	Distantly, she could see Kosuke approaching.  He was 
running at high speed.

	"He was too much of a rebel for his own good.  You 
can fight the law, but you can't fight the law of gravity.  
The last I saw of him, he was drifting out to sea."  She 
sighed.  "After going off a cliff.  But enough of my 
reminiscing.  I've got diapers to change, and my favorite 
soap's on in five minutes.  I'll let him know you called."

	"Thank you," Karen said weakly, not sure what to say.

	Click.

	Kosuke ran up to her.  "I didn't do it!" he said 
frantically.

	"Do what?" she asked.

	"The house!," he wailed.

	"What?" she asked in confusion.

	"I didn't do it to the house!," Kosuke wailed.

	She had a bad feeling.  "You didn't wet the carpet 
again, did you?"

	"It's not the carpet, it's the entire house!," Kosuke said.

	"You...did that to the entire house?  How much soda 
did you drink today?," Karen asked weakly.

	"No, it wasn't me!  It wasn't me!," Kosuke said 
frantically.

	"Kosuke-chan, you can't blame everything on Evil 
Queen Fatora," Karen said gently.

	"I DO NOT PEE JELLO!!!!!!," Kosuke shouted.  

	People stared and Karen began to collapse in on 
herself like a black hole.  

	"Jello?"

	"Come see!"

	Karen could smell the fruity-goodness as she 
approached the house.  She staggered up and unlocked the 
front door; inside she saw the entire living room had a thin 
coating of jello on it, in many different flavors.  

	She stared in a horrified awe.

	"See!  It isn't my fault!," Kosuke said.

	Mother is going to explode atomically, Karen thought.  
And Father...well, Father did like jello.  Just not THIS 
MUCH.

	She quickly closed the door and sat down to wait for 
her parents to get home; they would know what to do, 
right?

*************

	Harima felt somewhat nervous.  His clientele on the 
first day at his store seemed to largely consist of fangirls 
who had come to gush over Haruka and people he 
remembered beating their ass as the last time he saw them.  
None of them seemed to recognize him, which helped.

	Akira was working the cash register, Nara and Haruka 
were shilling the clientele, and he was in the repair facility, 
trying to figure out why an engine was making choking 
noises.  It was kind of soothing, really, as it let him forget 
everything else and lose himself in his work, but what they 
really needed was to sell lots of accessories too.  

	He rubbed his forehead.  Thinking about money all the 
time was starting to turn him into Akira or something.  Not 
that he would mind having her intellect.  

	Dammit, how am I going to do this and my manga and 
do homework so I can get into art school, he wondered.

	The front door opened.  "Harima, you punk ass 
bastard, come out here!" a familiar voice shouted as he 
came in.

	He started to rise, then heard the voice of Akira on his 
headset.  "Ignore him.  I'll see if we can defuse this.  We 
can't afford damage to the shop."

	He ground his teeth, but said, "Good luck, I'll wait."

	Haruka moved to intercept Tennouji.  "I'm afraid he's 
busy.  Perhaps I can help you find something?"

	"I'm here to kick that fucker's ass," Tennouji said.  
"Unless you're his gay lover, you're useless to me."

	"And what if I was?," Haruka asked, amused.

	AAAAARGH, Harima thought.

	"Wait," Akira told him.

	The fangirls went all a-twitter.

	"Then I'd bust your ass so I could watch him cry 
before I broke him in half," Tennouji said.  "You 
volunteering to die first?"

	"If you wish to fight, I must ask you to step outside so 
we don't damage the store," Haruka said.  "But if you insist 
on violence, I will reluctantly comply."

	"I ain't here to fight you; I'm here to kill Harima," 
Tennouji said.  "But I can bust your ass if you want."

	"So you want my ass, hmm?" Haruka asked.

	A round of 'oooooh' went around the room.  

	Harima laughed and laughed and nearly knocked 
down the bike he was working on.

	"Stop using fancy word games!  You gonna fight or 
what?" Tennouji said angrily.  

	"Follow me," Haruka said, leading him outside.  Most 
of the 'customers', both fangirls and cycle punks, gathered 
in the parking lot.

	Tennouji lunged forward; he wasn't fast, but he had 
power.  Haruka, on the other hand, slid away from his 
grasp, darting about the lot.

	Things went on like this for a long time, Tennouji 
lumbering about, while Haruka moved like the wind in 
flight.  Finally, Tennouji was getting winded, while Haruka 
was hardly breathing fast at all.

	"Stop running!," Tennouji said.  "You coward!"

	"Fine," Haruka said and darted in, grabbing Tennouji's 
shoulder and slamming him to the ground.  Haruka flipped 
up into the air and came down, feet first, on Tennouji's 
head.

	Tennouji lay still.  Haruka hopped off and bowed as 
the fangirls cheered wildly, and the cyclepunks seemed to 
be consulting each other's collective wisdom on whether 
this had been a good fight.

	Harima gave a sigh of relief.  One less worry.  And 
maybe this would impress them enough to...

	Then Tennouji lashed out and grabbed Haruka's feet 
and rose and began smashing Haruka into the ground, 
poles, trees, and anything else he could find.

	Haruka squirmed to escape, but Harima knew Haruka 
didn't have the strength, once Tennouji got hold of him.  
Even his own might was only enough to sometimes escape 
Tennouji's grasp.  "Dammit, I have to do something," 
Harima said.

	"Wait," Akira said by headset, then started to head 
outside.  

	Nara stopped her at the door.  "You'll just get yourself 
killed, dear."

	"Words, not fists," Akira said, and Nara let go.

	Harima watched, feeling very tense.  How can she be 
so calm about this, he wondered.

	"Tennouji, if you don't stop, I'll take photos and show 
your little sister," Akira said.

	This might have normally worked, but Tennouji was 
past caring.  He continued to batter everything with 
Haruka.

	Harima had to put down the stuff he was working on.  
He couldn't just watch this.  Dammit, Akira, do something 
effective!

	Akira looked coolly at Tennouji, then began snapping 
photos.  

	Whatever other plan she might have, Harima couldn't 
wait for it.  "HARUKA!" he shouted, then erupted through 
the shop area and out the door like a bat out of hell, turning 
into a foot first missile straight at Tennouji's face.  

	Tennouji gave a great cry and then toppled over, 
throwing Haruka into the air.  Harima vaulted off 
Tennouji's face, leaped into the air and caught Haruka, then 
dropped down to the ground, cradling Haruka in his arms.  
Akira continued to snap photos.

	The fangirls gave the squee to end all squee.  

	The cycle punks cheered wildly.  "One shot!  Damn, 
you're good!," one of them said.  "Who the hell are you?"

	"I'm Harima Kenji, the baddest of all bad-asses," he 
said.  "And this is my shop."

	"Holy shit, you're Harima Kenji?  You look so 
different," the guy said.

	"I've moved up to the next level of bad-assedness, had 
to get a makeover," he said, trying to come up with an 
excuse.  "The way Goku goes all blonde and shit."
	
	"Makes sense," the punk said.

	Haruka mumbled incoherently.  

	"I'm gonna take care of Haruka; you two run the 
shop," Harima said to Akira and Nara.  "And next time, I'm 
just gonna go straight to kicking the punk's ass."

	Akira nodded and followed him back in.

	Harima could hear the cash register ringing as he took 
Haruka back into the break room and laid Haruka out on a 
table.  "You conscious?" Harima asked softly.

	"Man, you never told me the guy packed such a 
whallop," Haruka said, sitting up, hand on forehead.  
"Michiru's gonna kill me tonight," Haruka said, but seemed 
to almost enjoy the prospect.  "Still, it went pretty much 
flawlessly."

	"What, you wanted him to kick your ass?" Harima 
asked in confusion.

	"Had to set up to show how tough you are, so the 
cycle punks would respect you enough to treat the shop 
right and want to shop here in hopes your bad-assness 
would rub off on them," Haruka said.  "And the ladies will 
buy stuff too and talk about it to everyone in the universe, 
so a double win.  And I bet it felt good to kick his ass."

	"Fuck yeah, it felt great to just unload on some fool," 
Harima said.  "But next time, TELL ME."  He grabbed 
Haruka's shoulders.  "I thought you were really hurt!"

	"I am really hurt," Haruka said, pointing to the 
developing forehead bruise.  "I can hardly believe how 
strong he is."

	"No tricks!  Not like that!  I was really worried!," 
Harima said urgently. 

	Haruka looked stunned for a moment, the usual mask 
coming off, then mumbled something.  

	"Speak up," Harima commanded urgently.

	"I really scared you," Haruka said softly.

	"Fuck yeah!  You never could take as much of a 
beating as me.  I don't like seeing my friends get hurt," 
Harima said.  "So don't go doing crazy shit, and especially 
don't go trying to help me like that without asking me!"

	"I won't if I can help it," Haruka said softly, head 
resting on Harima's shoulder as he leaned down over 
Haruka.  "You really have changed."

	"Yeah," Harima said.  "For the better, I hope.  You're 
still the same old you, though."

	"Not the same," Haruka said.  "We always change; if 
you stay the same, you begin to die.  Harima, I...dammit."

	"Look, you ain't got to talk about no shit you don't 
want to," Harima said.  "I ain't gonna pry, and I...dammit, 
Akira, you're not listening in on us, are you?"

	There was no reply, which could mean anything.

	"Fuck," Harima said.  "Lemme get you some ice for 
that bruise."

	"Thank you," Haruka said.  "You're a good friend, 
Kenji."

	"You too," Harima said.  "Just don't go trying to be 
Akira, as you don't have the brains for it."

	"Maybe not," Haruka said.  "I tend to let Michiru do 
the deep thinking."

	"That's wise," Harima said, preparing an ice pack.  
"Punching doesn't solve everything.  Just most things."

	"So how good of a fighter is Akira?" Haruka asked 
curiously.

	"She's a hell of a shot when she can afford to just blow 
things away," Harima said.  "But she's like you--lots of 
speed and coordination, but no power and not much 
toughness.  So Tennouji would probably beat her to death, 
but she could clean house on most cycle punks," Harima 
said.  "But her real talent is she's a damn good general."

	"General?" Haruka asked curiously.  

	"Yeah, she's the person who tells everyone whose ass 
to kick and how."  Harima now explained the story of the 
fight with Taro's army.  It seemed like a million years ago 
to Harima now, and yet it had only been a few months ago.

	"Hmm," Haruka said thoughtfully.  "I'd better lie 
down a while.  Thanks for the help, Kenji-san."

	"You're welcome, Haruka-san," he said.  "I'd better go 
finish that engine."  And he went back to work.

*****************

	The Grand Opening of Tsukamoto's Wild Kingdom 
was going well.  Maybe too well, as Yakumo and her 
friends were being worked pretty hard.  One problem was 
that while the mascot-style costumes were popular, 
especially with the kids, they also slowed down the 
waitresses who wore them and made them a little clumsy; 
the 'bunny' style outfits were more practical, but some of 
the girls got too embarrassed to wear them.  	

	Yakumo, however, was not easily embarrassed by 
costumes any more, and found herself making good tips 
and able to try and cover for the others when necessary.  
She was wearing a cat-girl variant of the bunny costume 
with a tail and cat-ears.  

	She was slightly nonplussed when serving one family 
and the young boy (about age 4) began pointing at her chest 
and saying "BOOBIES," over and over.  The parents grew 
quite embarrassed.

	"I'm really sorry," the mother said for the seventh 
time.

	"It's okay," Yakumo said.  She finished serving them 
and turned, then saw Harry, Karen, Sagano, Fuyuki, Yuuki, 
and Karasuma had come in and sat down at one of her 
tables.  They had two adults with them; the man reminded 
Yakumo of Mario; the mother was a short, busty woman 
who looked much like an older version of her daughter.  

	Yakumo came over, "Hello, everyone, are you ready 
to order drinks?"

	"Tell me you DO NOT have jello," the older man said.

	"We don't have jello," Yakumo said, confused.

	"Someone smeared jello all over our house," the 
woman said.  "We've been cleaning for hours, and I 
couldn't stand to cook at home."

	"Oh dear," Yakumo said.  "You can clean it all out, 
but it will be slow."

	"Mother, this is Tenma's sister Yakumo, Tsukamoto 
Yakumo," Karen said.  "Tsukamoto-san, these are my 
parents."

	"We all came to help clean, so now...food," Sagano 
said, smiling.

	"Let's order," Kosuke said.  "And it's NOT my fault."

	"I know, dear," his mother said.  

	"But whoever is to blame, they're gonna die," Karen's 
father said.

************

	Tenma was not entirely clear on why exactly she 
needed to sit on the kotatsu all night.  However, her sister 
had asked her to 'hold down the fort' while Yakumo was 
gone.  

	They had used the table to play fort when they were 
kids.

	Ergo, Yakumo must want her to sit on the table and 
hold it in place.

	Even if she wasn't sure WHY.  

	It wasn't quite as good as using it the normal way, but 
the table was nice and warm as she sat on it.  

	Nice and warm enough that she eventually went to 
sleep.

	The fort stayed held that night.

************

	For one very brief moment of terror, Harima was 
afraid that he'd woken up with Haruka in his bed.  
However, it was just Yakumo, still wearing a catgirl outfit, 
which he found rather cute.

	Though he was too tired to do anything as a result; he 
felt utterly worn out from all his work.

	But he felt good.  Very good.  Things had gone well, 
and would hopefully continue to do so.  

	He petted Yakumo's cat ears and slid back to sleep.

************

	"Are you okay?" Saeko asked Rinko the next morning.

	"I'm fine, I just had a stomachache," she said.  "Where 
is Yoshidayama?"

	"He got beat up by Harry's fangirls yesterday," Saeko 
said.  "He may still be at home resting."

	"But the double-date," Rinko mumbled.

	"Why don't you get Nagayama and Tanaka to go with 
you?  You and Nagayama are good friends and Tanaka and 
Ishiyama are best buddies, so I'm sure you'll have fun," 
Saeko said.

	"That's true," Rinko said.  There would be other 
chances.  Bishi-san would help her once the beatings 
ended.  Which she would have to do something about.

	Harry walked in, groggy, and set Karen down in her 
desk, then began to stumble off.  Karen began to snore.  

	Fuyuki, Sagano, and Yuuki soon arrived, propping 
each other up.  Yuuki said groggily, "I have an 
announcement."

	No one noticed.  She was too tired to yell, either.

	Finally, Hanai said, "SILENCE!  THE PRESIDENT 
WILL SPEAK!"

	That sent everyone to their seats.

	"Someone smeared jello all over Karen's house and we 
don't know why.  Karen's father is offering two free tickets 
to his next match to anyone who can find out the guilty 
party," Yuuki said.  "I fall down now."

	The trio stumbled off to sit down.

	A tide of whispers circled the room, and Saeko 
frowned, whispering to Rinko, "So, you broke into Karen's 
house and jello-ified it?"

	"I was sick all day," Rinko said stubbornly.

	"Uh huh.  Well, I'm on your side, but if you get 
caught, I'm not standing between you and Karen," Saeoko 
said.

	As Rinko watched the eagerness of the investigation 
whispering, she began to wonder how soon that might be 
necessary; maybe this had not been too wise.

*************
	
	"You think Yoshidayama did it?", Tougo asked Harry.

	"No," he said.  "Yoshidayama is determined to get me 
to kill him; he wouldn't waste time smearing jello all over 
Karen's house.  I doubt he even has the intellect to MAKE 
jello."

	"He has a warrior's spirit, but not the strength," Lala 
said.  "Warriors don't smear jello.  That's for back-biting 
cowards.  Like Imadori and his pervert club."

	"Yeah, it's about his style, but I don't think Imadori 
would do it to Karen's house.  MY house, yes," Harry said.  
"Though maybe Buddha or Shin or one of the other ones..."

	"I'll ask Mai, see what she thinks," Tougo said.  

	"Thank you," Harry said.

***************

	"Sure, we'd love to go," Nagayama said.  "Assuming 
Mackenzie and Ichijou don't break you in half before it's 
time for the show."

	Rinko winced.

	"I'm not going to narc on you," Tanaka said to her.  
"But it would be better if you apologized, as you made her 
whole family's life pretty hard and if you don't, Harry will 
likely beat you up."

	"I'm not sure if Harry would actually hit a woman who 
didn't hit him first," Saeko said.

	"I won't let him beat you up," Ishiyama said, even 
though the idea of a Harry-beating terrified him.

	"You're so sweet, Bishi-san," reaching over and 
squeezing his hand.  "But I'll find some way to deal with 
him if I have to.  I was careful not to leave any evidence."

	"Besides all the people who saw you making a ton of 
jello, like, say, your parents, who if they hear of this, will 
put two and two together," Saeko said.  "But it's up to you."

	Rinko winced, but confessing would just lead to more 
trouble, she was sure.  And she didn't want to get Ishiyama 
beaten up on her behalf; she knew men enough to know he 
couldn't back down.  

	There had to be something she could do.
	
***************

	"Rinko, Kozue, and Madoka were all absent 
yesterday, and Madoka is still absent," Mai said.  "But I 
don't know if it's necessarily anyone from our class.  
Smearing jello all over a house hits me as something 
someone the age of Karen's little brother would do."

	"Well, that gives me some suspects," Tougo said.

	"Out to earn some wrestling tickets?" Mai asked.

	"My love, you wound me to the quick.  I seek only to 
aid my friend in gaining vengeance on behalf of his lady 
love," Tougo said, holding a hand over his heart.  

	"Uh huh," Mai said.  "Well, I don't mind helping.  
However, tonight, we go on Tiki-hunting patrol."

	Tougo nodded.  "Of course.  I'm not wearing the 
Legolas outfit, though."

	"We'll see about that."

***************

	"None of your business," Kozue said to Tougo.  "I 
don't answer to you.  Not even your class answers to you 
now.  Also, your wig is CLEARLY fake."  She waved 
dismissively at him.

	"Interesting words from someone with a fake hair 
color, fake skin color, and fake breasts," Tougo said.  "But 
I'll just mark you down as 'probably guilty', then go see the 
others."

	"Hey, I had nothing to do with that jello-smearing!," 
Kozue protested.  "And these breasts are 100% REAL!"

	"Your refusal to say why you were absent is a sign of 
wrong-doing," Tougo said smoothly.  "Clearly, you are 
guilty of SOMETHING.  So when Harry uses you as a 
basketball or Karen tries to find what is hidden in your 
spleen, you will be punished for something you shouldn't 
have done.  That's good enough for me."

	"I...hey, lots of people do it!  Our class rep to the 
council does it!," Kozue said frantically.

	"You were at a love hotel with a college boy?" Tougo 
asked.

	"..."

	Tougo laughed.  "And his name is?"

	"I can't tell you that!" Kozue said frantically.

	"I need confirmation of your alibi."

	Kozue slumped.  "You're not going to tell my parents, 
are you?"  

	"I'm only interested in jello-related crime," Tougo 
said.

	She sighed and gave him the information, and he left 
to investigate further.

************

	Rinko was waiting for the next class to start when a 
male shadow loomed over her.  Looking up, she saw, to her 
confusion, Tougo.  "Hello?" she asked.

	"So where were you yesterday?," he asked.

	"Home sick, my parents can confirm it," she said.  She 
was glad now she'd thought to bluff her folks into thinking 
she was sick and had to stay home.  

	He made a note in a notebook.  "Right," then turned 
and left.

	She gave a sigh of relief and hoped all would be well.  
And that Yoshidayama was okay.  She felt bad going to the 
play without him, even leaving out she'd originally come 
up with the idea to be able to spend time with him.  
Hopefully, his mother would take good care of him.

************

	"Let me out of the damn crib!" Yoshidayama shouted.

	His mother finished rolling a TV on a stand into place.  
"Now, now.  I've rented you a triple feature, so you can just 
lie there and recover and watch TV," his mother said, 
starting the first DVD in the DVD changer.  "Guys and 
Dolls movie, since that's the play you planned to see, 
followed by the Gangs of New York, and then Steal This 
Movie."

	Yoshidayama sighed and decided to just try to enjoy 
himself what little he could while tied down in the crib 
again.  You can't fight Mom, he'd learned.

	Or at least he couldn't.

**************

	Shigeo walked into Madoka's rooms with a small vase 
and a bundle of flowers tucked into it.  "I thought I'd bring 
you some flowers," he said.  

	"That's so sweet," she said, taking them and putting 
them next to a huge bundle of flowers in an expensive 
looking vase.  "Come over here."

	He came over, leaning down, but wondered where the 
other flowers came from.  "Those from your dad?" he 
asked a little nervously.

	"Those are from Tougo-san.  It was very nice of him 
to come visit me when we're not even in the same class," 
she said.

	He stared at them, feeling defeated again, until she 
pulled him down and kissed him, which made him feel a 
little better.

*************

	Buddha adjusted his bush-hat (which was a hat which 
resembled a bush.  "Are you SURE the criminal will return 
to the scene of the crime?" he asked Imadori.

	"If you have a better tactic, I'm all ears," Imadori said.  
"I could be dating someone right now, but this was all I 
could think of."

	"Aren't we supposed to be working at the store right 
now?" Shin asked.

	They were hidden inside a row of bushes near Karen's 
house; it was not very pleasant, between insects and rough 
leaves and branches.

	"Takano-san can hold down the fort, but this mystery 
won't solve itself," Imadori said.

	"Takano-san could hold down the fort, but she's not 
the one out to marry an heiress," Takano-san said, poking 
Imadori and Buddha in the back of the head.  "Bang, you 
are dead."

	"How the hell did you do that?" Imadori asked.

	She dragged Imadori and Buddha out of the bushes.  
"Shin, you scare the customers, you stay here and watch for 
the jello-smearer, phone me if you find anything."

	"I do not scare the customers!," he protested.  "I just 
can't let incorrect statements go uncorrected."

	"Just keep watch, call me if you see anything.  Let's 
go, slackers," Takano-san said.

	"I am not a slacker!," Imadori protested.  

	Buddha knew better by now than to even try.

	"And if you try and date Yukari while I'm on the case, 
I will bust your ass in every possible way."

	"Aren't some of those ways incompatible?" Imadori 
asked as he was dragged. 

	"You got a lot of beatings as a kid, I bet," Takano-san 
said.

	"No, mother was always pretty gentle with me," 
Imadori said.

	"Ahh, so it's 'spare the rod and spoil the child'."

	"I'm quite fresh, actually," Imadori said.

	"That's one way of putting it," she muttered.

**************

	Karasuma was busy, so Mouse-Tenma had decided to 
help out at Yakumo's restaurant.  She had wanted a bunny-
girl costume, but they were all designed for people taller 
than her with a fuller figure, so she'd ended up in a mouse 
mascot costume.  She had to keep fighting the instinct to 
shill for Chuck-E-Cheese.

	She felt things were going well, as she'd managed to 
keep up on everything, and everyone seemed to like her 
costume.  When she noticed one of her tables was now full, 
she rushed over.  "Oh, hi, everyone!" she said.  It was 
Nagayama, Tanaka, Rinko, and Ishiyama.  "Can I take your 
drink order?"

	"Coke," Ishiyama said.  

	"Green tea," Tanaka said.

	"Hmm.  Lemonade," Nagayama said.

	"Oh...umm...drink...," Rinko mumbled.

	"You okay?" Mouse-Tenma asked, worried.

	"Just worried about Yoshidayama-san," Rinko said.  
"Those evil girls really did a job on him."  She sighed.  

	"I'm sure he's fine," Mouse-Tenma said, patting her 
hand with a felt 'paw'.  "It's really been rough for our class 
lately, with him repeatedly beaten up, jello all over poor 
Kare-rin's house and Tennouji attacking Kenji-kun's cycle 
shop and beating up poor Haruka-san."

	Everyone at the table twitched in unison.  "I'm sure 
they're not connected," Rinko said weakly.  

	"So you think there's a conspiracy too?" Tenma asked.  
"I'm going to have to get to the bottom of it."

	"No, no, I'm sure there's no conspiracy," Rinko said 
firmly.  

	"I know, best not to let them know we're on to them," 
Mouse-Tenma said, winking conspiratorily.  

	Tanaka laughed softly, while Nagayama looked 
confused.

	"I really can't see how there could be a connection," 
Rinko said urgently.

	"That's exactly how THEY want us to think," Mouse-
Tenma said.  She whispered, "The Illuminati are 
everywhere.  Just get out a dollar bill and look at the back."

	"Why would I have a dollar bill?" Rinko asked in 
confusion.  

	Tanaka covered his mouth, laughing into it.  
Nagayama looked more confused.  Ishiyama had a hand 
over his mouth too.

	"Here, I'll get...I can't reach my wallet!  The Illuminati 
took away my pockets!" Mouse-Tenma said, trying to stick 
her hands into the leg seams of her costume.

	"Umm, I'll get some coffee," Rinko said.  "Can you 
get our drinks?"

	"I'm right on it, and I won't let the Illuminati put any 
Florida in them," Mouse-Tenma said, taking off.  Clearly it 
was going to be time for Detective Tenma to get on the 
case once she got off work.

************

	Takano-san's phone rang and she answered it.  The 
store was running nice and smoothly, though business was 
low on a Friday night.  Which didn't surprise her.  "Hello, 
Shin."

	"Wow, how did you know it was me?" he asked.

	The glories of caller ID on a cellphone were clearly 
beyond him.  "Magic."

	"Well, damn," he said.  "Look, Tougo's lurking around 
here with some girl pretending to be Card Captor Sakura.  
Mind you, she did a great job on the wand-staff-thing.  
Tougo's wearing an elf outfit, but his blonde wig looks 
AWFUL.  It wouldn't fool anyone."  Shin was clearly 
disdainful.

	"Tougo is probably just trying to find clues to get the 
tickets.  I can't see any motive for him to jello-ify Karen's 
house.  And he'd brag about how slickly he did it.  But keep 
an eye on him."

	"Hmm, listening in, it sounds like the girl calls herself 
'Magical Lyrical Warrior Condiment'," he said.  "I've never 
heard of that one, though maybe it's an Americanization of 
something."

	Probably Tougo's girlfriend; they're probably going to 
act out some manga, then have sex as usual, Takano-san 
thought.  "Good job.  Watch them, report if they actually do 
anything suspicious."

	"Yes, ma'am," Shin said.  "Shin out."

	Well, at least he could follow instructions, Takano-san 
thought.  And has a good eye for detail, even if his head is 
full of junk.  May be useful in the future.

*************

	Mikoto felt a little guilty she wasn't helping out 
Kenji's store, but only a little.  She already had work 
helping to teach at Hanai's dojo, and with Mr. Hanai still 
gone, she had twice as much work to do.  And Kenji had 
plenty of help.  Also, Eri really needed to get out of the 
house, so she was doing Eri a favor this way.

	Mikoto, Eri, and Miki had gone to dinner together, and 
were going to hit the movies next.  They'd sent off the men-
folk to a video party Keiichi was holding to keep them out 
of trouble until later.  

	The movie, The Sun Sets, was boring Mikoto to tears, 
as it was all old depressed people moping about some 
French palace in the 18th century.  Miki seemed interested, 
as she kept talking about how expensive everything they 
saw must be, but Eri seemed to really enjoy it, so Mikoto 
had decided to suck it up for her sake.  This was for her, 
anyway.

	Then, all of a sudden, there was a huge battle on 
screen and gunshots cracked through the theatre from the 
sound system.  Mikoto was so startled, she nearly jumped 
out of her skin.

	Eri looked over at her, amused.  "You can hide your 
face in Miki's chest if you're scared.  I don't mind."

	"..."

	"What?" Miki asked in confusion from the other side 
of Mikoto.

	Eri giggled, and it was necessary for Mikoto to noogie 
her.  

	"Why are they shooting each other?" Mikoto asked, 
afterwards.

	"It's the battle of Malplaquet, the last desperate French 
stand during the War of Spanish Succession," Eri said.  
"Haven't you been paying attention?"

	"Everyone was busy moping," Mikoto whispered.

	"Well, they were moping because they're old and 
everything's coming apart at the seams," Eri said.  "France 
is being crushed, the King's mopey about all the people's 
he's lost over the years, and all his mistakes.  But the price 
of peace was to help put down his own grandchild he put 
on the throne of Spain at the start of the movie."

	Mikoto rubbed her forehead.  "He did?"

	Eri rolled her eyes.  "No wonder you get such bad 
grades if you can't even follow a movie."

	"It would be easier if it didn't have badly done 
subtitles," Mikoto grumbled.

	At least the fight sequence was pretty cool; a clash of 
armies was always impressive, though people stumbling in 
mud and stabbing with bayonets lacked the grace of a good 
martial arts movie.

	And then it was over and the moping resumed, and 
Mikoto reminded herself this was for Eri's sake.  Hopefully, 
there would be better stuff at the video party, later.

*************

	Rinko sighed, leaning over to rest her head on Bishi-
san's shoulder.  The play was enjoyable, but she was still 
tired out from having coated a house with jello earlier in 
the week; spreading so much colloid will wear you out.

	Fortunately, Bishi-san didn't seem to mind.  Indeed, he 
seemed kind of pleased.  He was such good company; so 
few guys knew how to be really nice to a woman, it seemed 
like.  But he was always so attentive and listened so well 
and was so helpful and now he was helping to cover for 
her.

	She was grateful to all her friends for helping her out.  
And Tanaka and Nagayama seemed to be having a really 
good time, which helped.  	

	Nagayama glanced over at her and gave her a covert 
thumbs up.  Rinko wasn't sure why, but she winked and 
gave one back on general principles.  If others help you, 
you help them.  That's simple common sense, she thought.  
Even if you don't always understand what's happening.

**************

	"Hey, stupid mouse, are we going to get any service?" 
an angry young male voice demanded of Mouse-Tenma as 
she tried to remember where the order she was holding 
should go.

	Mouse-Tenma turned.  "I'm sorry, sir, I...YOU!"  She 
pointed at Harima's little brother Shuuji.  

	"Yes, me.  Are you deaf?" Shuuji asked.

	He was sitting next to some little dark haired girl with 
a single hair-tenna who Tenma didn't recognize, but who 
she intuitively grasped must be his little primary school 
girlfriend.  She also remembered now that her face was 
hidden inside the costume.  "So you're cheating on 
Yakumo, are you?" she asked him.

	The girl looked at the mouse, then at him and frowned.

	"I...uh...how do you...what are you talking about?", he 
stammered.

	"Your lack of service punishes your infidelity!  I will 
not allow you to be served unless you defeat me at a game 
of chess!"

	"..."

	The girl said, "Maybe we should go to another 
restaurant, Shuuji-san."

	Mouse-Tenma shook her head.  "There is no escape.  
You must work in the kitchens if you lose!"

	"I'll crush you, you stupid mouse!  Bring it on!," 
Shuuji said.

	"I'll be right back," Mouse-Tenma said, stalking off to 
the kitchens, still carrying the order whose destination she 
had now further forgotten.  "Yuri-san, I need a chess set to 
crush that brat, Shuuji-san."

	Yuri blinked as she chopped meat.  Other cooks 
worked around her.  "Chess set? Why would we have one?"

	"I...um...I have to beat a customer at chess," Tenma 
said.

	"I'm afraid I can't help you."  She studied the order.  
"Shouldn't that have gone to table nine?"

	"Ni...nine!  Oh, right, I'm on my way!" She rushed off 
and delivered it, and now she saw Catgirl-Yakumo taking 
Shuuji's order.  

	Uh oh, Mouse-Tenma thought.  My authority has been 
undercut.  She stomped over.  "He's not allowed to order 
until he defeats me at chess," Mouse-Tenma said.

	"Nee-chan, he's already beaten you at chess and every 
other game in our house," Catgirl-Yakumo said.

	"Wow, you're good," Mio said, impressed.

	"Yes, but..."

	"Hey, is that your stupid little sister?" Shuuji asked 
Yakumo.

	"She's my kind older sister," Yakumo said.  "Who 
needs to go help the people at table eight."  

	She pointed to where a young couple was waving at 
Mouse-Tenma.

	"Hrmph," Mouse-Tenma said, but ran off to help 
them.

	"I hope she didn't give you too much trouble," Catgirl-
Yakumo said to Shuuji.  

	"I'm fine, I can handle a stupid mouse," he said 
rapturously, staring at her.

	Mio looked back and forth, then said, "Do you 
have...any costumes I could wear?"

	Yakumo looked at Shuuji, then at her, then said, 
"Well, let's see, okay?  Come with me," and led her off.  

	I didn't know she liked costumes too, Shuuji thought, 
then settled down to plan trouble for the stupid little sister 
of Yakumo-nee-chan.

*************
	  
	"We closing up?" Haruka asked Harima.

	"Yeah, it's late, and I don't think anyone's going to 
show up, and I'm hungry," Harima said.  

	"We made good money, and I agree, no one else is 
coming tonight," Akira said.

	"How about if we check out Yakumo-san's place?  I'm 
curious," Nara said.

	"Can we do that?" Harima asked.  "They might think 
it's sabotage or something."

	"Surely everyone knows you wouldn't sabotage your 
girlfriend, right?" Nara asked.

	"I'd never sabotage my handsome boyfriend," Akira 
said, chosing this moment to get very cuddly with Nara, 
who got cuddly back.

	Haruka stared in surprise.

	Harima grinned a little, then said, "I'm sure it will be 
fine.  And if they throw us out, we can go somewhere else. 
You two coming, or are you gonna just get it on here in the 
street?"

	For a few seconds, he thought they might go the latter 
route, but instead, Nara said, "We're coming."

	Soon, Harima and Haruka got on their cycles while 
Akira and Nara got on hers and they roared off into the 
night.

************

	"Oh, hi, Kosuke-san," Shuuji said to Kosuke, who had 
wandered over from his family's table.  

	"Are you here by yourself?  You can come sit with us 
if you want," Kosuke said.  "Our kitchen still stinks of jello, 
so Mom insisted we come here again.  Well, really, I 
insisted.  But I didn't put jello in the kitchen just to get to 
come back.  At all."

	"I'm fine," Shuuji said.

	"Where's your parents?" Kosuke asked.  "Did they 
come with you?"

	"Mom's working as usual and Dad ran away when I 
was little," Shuuji said.  "Mom says he's a useless fuck, 
whatever that means."

	"It would be a fuck that can't do anything," Kosuke 
said, not sure what a fuck was. 

	"And here we are," Catgirl-Yakumo said, startling 
them.  

	She had somehow pinned up a cat costume to fit Mio, 
though she had to substitute more catears for the head.  

	"Oooh, cool, I want a costume!" Kosuke said.  "Do 
you have any Doujibirion ones?"

	"This is an animal kingdom," Catgirl Yakumo said 
hesitantly.

	"Do you like it?" Mio asked Shuuji nervously, 
spinning around.

	"It's okay," he said, clearly not hugely impressed.

	She looked a little deflated, but sat down beside him.  

	"Oh, how about the mascot monkey?" Kosuke asked.

	"Hmm, we can try that," Catgirl-Yakumo said, taking 
his hand.  

	"I want a costume too!," Shuuji said.  

	Mio frowned as Catgirl-Yakumo led him off by the 
other hand.  The plan had not gone as planned.

*************
	
	Iori headbutted a window frame.  Legolas-Tougo 
could see that the window screen was loose here and the 
window slightly cracked open.  Perhaps the jello-izer had 
removed the screen here and got in by then opening the 
window.

	"Here we go," he said.  "Can you smell jello around 
here?"

	Iori nodded.

	Magical Lyrical Warrior Condiment (as she now 
dubbed herself) knealt and studied the window, waving her 
wand, in case it would do anything.

	There was a 'poof' and she was now disguised as 
Sherlock Holmes, complete with magnifying glass and 
pipe.  

	She also had a duffel bag now; fumblingly, she tried 
taking fingerprints off the frame, though she wasn't sure if 
she was doing it right.  

	Now they just needed a match.

	"I think we've exhausted the clue potential, but this 
could be a big one," Holmes-Mai said.  "We should 
probably look for any invading Tiki Gods for the rest of the 
evening."

	"They may not show up again since we all made 
Minako get rid of the cursed idol," Legolas-Tougo said.

	She re-warriorized and began lurking about up and 
down the street with him following.  "We can't take that 
risk.  Hopefully, some team member with a finding things 
artifact will show up soon."

	 "That may have just been an introductory movie with 
a one-shot foe," Legolas-Tougo pointed out. 

	"I hope I didn't do all my research for nothing," 
Magical Lyrical Warrior Condiment said.

	"Well, I guess we'll see."

*************

	Harima walked into the restaurant in time to see his 
brother in a dog costume eating sphagetti with a girl his age 
in a cat costume.  Finally, no more pointless mooning over 
my girlfriend for him, Harima thought.  "Yo, bro."

	"Go away, I'm busy," Shuuji said.

	"Hi," Mio said nervously.

	"Come to bust us up?" Saeko, in a bunny-girl outfit, 
asked.

	"Just here for food," Harima said.  "Table for four."

	"You guys double-dating?" Shuuji asked.

	"Hell no!," Harima said.  "Don't say crazy things."

	Akira had to fight the urge to say they were her harem, 
but that would lead to far too much misunderstanding.   

	"Uh huh," Shuuji said, solely in hopes of making 
Harima explode.

	"This way," Saeko said to them, steering them to their 
own table.  "I'll go get Yakumo-san."

	"I...uh...," Harima said nervously.  

	Saeko got them sat down, and soon Yakumo came to 
them in her cat costume.  "Umm, hello," she mumbled.

	"Hey, Yakumo-san," Harima said.  "Mind if we eat 
here?"

	"I...sure, it's fine," Yakumo said nervously.

	Haruka took her hand.  "Please take good care of us," 
Haruka said, winking.

	Yakumo's eyes widened, and then she nodded.  "I will.  
Can I get your drinks?"

	Akira looked at Yakumo curiously as everyone made 
their orders, and then ran off to get them.

************

	Eri sat on the couch, watching a terrible sci-fi movie 
with Hanai, Mikoto, Masahiro, Miki, Keiichi, Jenny, 
Shinichi, and Kasumi.  "Oh come on, you can't invert a 
laser!  What is that supposed to MEAN?" Eri demanded of 
it, sipping her sake.  

	"It means the scriptwriter has NO creativity," Keiichi 
said.  

	"The power of our love will save us!" someone 
shouted on the screen.

	"DRINK!" Jenny commanded and everyone did so.

	Eri giggled a little.  She was enjoying herself, letting 
her snark out all over the terrible movies while everyone 
laughed and had fun.  No wonder Mikoto and Hanai had 
been seduced by college students.  She was seeing the 
appeal.

	"Our love will span all space and time!"

	"DRINK!"

	For this movie, you had to drink every time love was 
used as a plot device or as part of a cheesy line.  Eri had a 
feeling they were all going to end up wasted, but she didn't 
mind; she was enjoying just forgetting it all.

	No contests, no fiancees, just hanging out and 
enjoying life.  She deserved that.

**************

	Yuri could see Yakumo was shaking a little.  "Are you 
okay?" she asked softly.

	"I'm fine," Yakumo said firmly, though still shaking.

	"You don't have to be nervous.  You're a fine waitress, 
and Harima-san is your boyfriend, right?" Yuri asked.

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"And you know he won't try to sabotage you, right?"

	"Right," Yakumo said, her breathing slowing.

	"He probably wishes he could kiss you in public in 
that outfit," Yuri said softly.

	Yakumo jumped a little, then tried to calm herself 
again.  "But he...I don't like competing with him," she 
mumbled.

	"You have to show him you're your own woman, not 
just his girlfriend," Yuri said softly.  "If he's worth having, 
he'll understand.  It's one reason I'm happy to help you with 
this; I don't want to just be Tanisa and Tae-chin's girlfriend 
who hangs around them; I want to pull my own weight 
too."  Her voice was firm.  "If he really loves you, he'll 
respect you for how hard you're working to make Eri 
yours."

	"But...we both...," Yakumo said.

	"There's nothing that says you can't keep him and have 
her," Yuri said softly, whispering into Yakumo's ear.  
"After all, it's only fair when he's committed to both of 
you."

	Yakumo licked her lips nervously, feeling strange, 
then said, "The food's getting cold."

	"Better deliver it.  Just remember, if he really cares for 
you, he'll love to see you showing your true strength," Yuri 
said.  "I know how scary these feelings can be, but don't be 
afraid.  They can make you strong if you let them."

	Yakumo breathed in and out.  "No fear," she 
whispered.

	"Exactly.  Go," Yuri said, giving her a gentle push and 
hoping she was doing the right thing.

**************

	The play had been pretty good, and Ishiyama was 
enjoying the walk in the park afterwards.  The air was cold, 
but that just gave him an excuse to stand close to Rinko as 
the four of them walked together under the stars.

	"Aren't the stars beautiful?" Nagayama asked softly.

	"They're wonderful," Rinko said softly.  "I just wish 
poor Yoshidayama wasn't too beat up to see them with us."

	"That's very kind of you," Tanaka said, standing with 
an arm around Nagayama's waist.

	Ishiyama tried to must the will to go for it, but feared 
Rinko wasn't ready yet.  His arm vibrated with anticipation.

	They all stared up silently at the sky.  Finally, he 
decided to go for it.  Over...over...contact...around...sweet!  
No resistance at all.

	He was basking in glory when he suddenly noticed 
Rinko stepping forward and pulling her phone, yet 
SOMETHING still had his arm around it.

	Which turned out to be a small tree.

	He wanted to die.

	Meanwhile, Rinko made an unsuccessful call and 
looked frustrated.

	"Still not answering?" Ishiyama asked softly.

	She sighed and came over, leaning on him, top of her 
head to his chest, as she faced him.  "Not answering."

	Awkwardly, he patted her back, and she moved 
forward until she ended up in an embrace, head on his 
shoulder, his arms around her.

	"I think we'll just walk from here," Nagayama said.  
"See you guys later!"

	"Bye!," Ishiyama said.

	"Bye," Rinko mumbled into his shoulder.

	She stood there a while, then said, "I think they think 
we're going out."

	"People get all sorts of ideas in their head," he said, 
gently stroking her back with one hand.  "You want to 
come over to my place, watch some videos, and forget 
about it all for now?"

	"Yes, that would help," she said.  "I just wish I was 
brave enough to tell him how I feel."

	"I know the feeling," he said, turning her around, 
keeping an arm around her waist, and heading off with her 
towards where his father was lurking in the car.  "But I'll 
help you forget it tonight."

	"Thanks, Bishi-san.  You're so kind," she said.  "Got 
any good comedies?"

	"I even have ones I can show to women," he said.

	"..."

	"That's a joke," he said quickly.

	She laughed.  "You're so funny."

	Not always intentionally, he thought.

*************

	Yakumo brought out everyone's food.  "I hope you 
enjoy it," she said.

	"Looks like you're getting really good business," 
Haruka said.

	Yakumo glanced over at Harima, but he was already 
digging into his food.  Akira looked calm as usual, but she 
nodded slightly when Yakumo looked at her; Yakumo 
could feel her mind giving Yakumo her approval, which 
was reassuring.  Nara was smiling at her, and she realized 
he was trying to make himself stop looking at her breasts.

	She fought the urge to cross her arms across her chest; 
the whole idea of an outfit like this was to make men look 
at your body and hopefully give generous tips.  She'd been 
surprised to hear Saeko telling Inaba this, but she'd already 
seen it in action.  She also felt disappointed that Kenji 
wasn't looking and his mind was full of food.

	Akira nudged Harima, "So what do you think of 
Yakumo's outfit, hmm?"

	Yakumo started, wondering if Akira was reading her 
mind.

	Harima looked up from his food, "What?"

	"I think she looks hot," Haruka said.

	Yakumo carefully didn't read Haruka's mind, just to be 
safe.

	"Hey, don't go drooling over my girlfriend," Harima 
said irritably.  "You look great," he told Yakumo.  She 
could tell this was true, though he was mostly thinking 
about food, which annoyed her.  But he was here to eat.  
But she...

	She wanted to say something witty, like Saeko would 
no doubt say, like Eri-sempai would say, but she couldn't 
think of anything.  She just...she wanted more of a reaction.  

	"You look very nice," Nara said, carefully studying his 
food as he ate.

	Akira gently elbowed Harima.

	"What?" he said.

	"I...I'd better check on my other customers," Yakumo 
said, quickly heading to the next table.

	Harima could see everyone at his table looking at him.  
"What???"

	"When your girlfriend flaunts herself for you," Haruka 
began.

	"For me?  She's been wearing that all night," Harima 
said.  "I mean, I told her she looks good.  Which she does."

	She wanted some special token of appreciation, Onna-
Harima patiently told him.  Even if she did wear it all night.

	I don't get it, Harima said.

	Haruka flirted with her more than you did.  You'd 
better do better when she comes back for dessert.

	Why...oh, dessert for us.  Right, Harima said.  Doesn't 
jealousy count?

	You were too mild, Onna-Harima told him.  

	But she's always mild, he said.

	She's not looking to date herself, now is she?, Onna-
Harima asked.

	Good point.

**********

	Kozue was in the process of making out on a park 
bench with one of her boyfriends when suddenly an elf in a 
bad wig loomed out of the shadows of the night.  "We need 
to take your fingerprints," the elf said.

	There was some crazed looking woman in a magical 
girl outfit complete with toy wand lurking behind him.

	Kozue did the sensible thing, "Hayao!  Kick this 
freak's ass!"

	Hayao, her college student boyfriend, stopped kissing 
and gamely sprung into action, leaping onto the top of the 
park bench (which had a high back), then jump-kicking the 
elf.

	The good of this was that he nailed the elf square in 
the face, knocking him down.  He spun on the face as they 
went down, making the elf howl, then grabbed the elf's bow 
and broke it over his knee.

	The bad was that the bench was poorly secured and 
now toppled over, flinging Kozue into the air, to crash 
unceremoniously at the foot of the 'magical girl'.  Kozue, 
however, was a survivor, and she grabbed the woman's 
legs, tackling her.

	The woman shouted, "No one gets to jump on MY 
BOYFRIEND'S HEAD!"  She flung Kozue off her with a 
powerful kick then brought her flimsy looking wand around 
to smack Hayao in the butt.  

 	Hayao got knocked down and rolled, then got up 
wobbily.  "POLICE, POLICE!" he began yelling 
frantically.

	The elf and his girlfriend ran off.

	"Man, the muggers keep getting freakier," Kozue said.

	"I know some people having a party," Hayao said.  
"Why don't we go there?  There will be food and drink and 
bad movies to mock and no freaky muggers."

	Kozue thought about it.  "Sure," she said.  She had 
been in the mood for making out, but now...not now.  
"Lead me on."

	He laughed.  "I try, I try."

	They both laughed as they headed off to the party.

*************
	
	The problem with going back to his place was that it 
meant watching stuff with his parents.  Which meant 
watching some of his mother's excessively mushy romantic 
comedies.  Which might have been fine if Ishiyama had 
been alone with just him and Rinko, but he couldn't try 
ANYTHING with his parents hanging over them.

	On the other hand, Rinko was clearly enjoying himself 
and his parents were clearly enjoying her presence, so that 
would be a big win for the future.  Especially as it 
showcased his family was not so freaky as Yoshidayama.

	Who he felt a little sorry for, having met the man's 
mother.

	But that was another issue.  

	Still, the evening had basically gone well, so he would 
have to live with that.

***********
	
	"Is this wise?" Buddha asked Imadori.

	"I've left Yukari-chan hanging all this time.  I have to 
try," Imadori said.  "It's a man's duty."

	They were lurking in bushes across the street from 
Yukari's house, watching to see if anyone was likely to see 
them sneaking closer.  "But you don't have to come," 
Imadori said.  "It's not your duty."

	"I can't let you die alone," Buddha said.  "This could 
be a trap."

	"I'm sure Takano-san really did go home," Imadori 
said.  "She looked pretty worn out."

	Buddha grunted, which Imadori knew was his way of 
reluctantly giving in.  

	"Okay, looks to me like we're clear," Imadori said.

	"Looks good to me," he said.

	"Okay, you move over to there," Imadori said, 
pointing to a group of garbage cans.  "If you don't make 
strangled cat noises in the next few minutes, I'll assume I'm 
clear to head for her window."

	Buddha nodded and moved into position.  Everything 
looked just fine to him, so he hunkered down, got out a 
game, and started playing to kill time.

	Imadori, hearing a distinct lack of yowling cats, now 
crossed the street, circled around behind a neighboring 
house, then approached the house, only to spot something 
which Buddha had not noticed in the dark.  

	For some reason, there was an odd looking brown and 
browner striped cat lurking under Yukari's window.  
Imadori's danger sense went off, which confused him, as 
cats were rarely a danger to people, whatever Yoshidayama 
might think about evil cat invaders.  

	The cat, however, backed off as he approached slowly, 
so he dismissed it and went over to the window, which he 
carefully opened according to plan, then climbed in, 
pushing the curtain out of the way.

	Instead of Yukari, he found Nyamo-sensei, Kagura, 
Sakaki, Yomi, and Tomo waiting for him. The cat jumped 
up onto the window sill behind him, as if to box him in, 
though it didn't worry him.  

	"Oop, I must have the wrong house," Imadori said, 
turning to go.

	The cat then demonstrated its large fangs and he 
backed up.

	"I'm afraid this beating is for your own good," Nyamo 
said.  "You need to learn not to trifle with people's hearts."

	"And breasts," Yomi said.

	"You are a friend of my cousin and thus must DIE," 
Tomo said.

	"I'm just here to see if I can maim you more than 
Sakaki-san can," Kagura said.  

	Sakaki didn't say anything, she just stared at the cat as 
if fighting the urge to run over and cuddle it.

	Imadori knew that was his only hope of escape.  
"Sakaki-san, I think your kitty looks lonely.  Poor thing 
needs some love."

	It was too much for Sakaki, who dropped her bat and 
ran over to hug it, only to get stuck in the window.

	"Clever, but not clever enough," Tomo said.  "Is it 
beating time, sensei?"

	"Don't hurt him too much," Nyamo said.  "I don't want 
to hand him over to his mother maimed.  Just remind him 
why you shouldn't fool around on people."

	Imadori went for the only thing he could think of, 
diving for Yomi's chest.  If he had to die, at least he would 
enjoy the ride.

	Buddha heard the screaming and sighed.  Time to call 
Imadori's mother to come pick up what was left of him.    
	
*************

	When Yakumo came back to their table, Harima said, 
"Yo, Yakumo-san, want me to stick around and take you 
home after you finish here?"

	"Would..."  Her spiel interrupted, she shifted gears.  
"Yes, I'd like that."  She looked around at everything.  
"You don't mind..."

	"Hey, boyfriend's duty," he said.  "I'd just be sitting 
around on my ass by myself if I left without you, anyway."

	"Why don't you two come by my place afterwards?" 
Haruka asked.  "I know Michiru wants to meet Yakumo-
san.  And you should come too," he said to Akira and Nara.  
"I'm sure she'd like to meet Nara-san too."

	"Sure," Akira said, then paused.  "Is that okay with 
you, Nara?"

	"It's fine," Nara said.  "I'm curious to meet any woman 
who can keep you in line, Haruka."

	Haruka laughed loudly.

	Yakumo looked at Haruka, then at Harima, then said, 
a little hesitantly, "Okay."

	"Cool.  We should have a lot of fun."

	It was at this exact moment that Mouse-Tenma popped 
up behind Shuuji and shouted, "BOO," as he was starting to 
lift a piece of pie.  He ended up hitting himself in the face 
as he jerked about in shock.

	"You...I'll get you for this!"  He began chasing Tenma, 
followed by Mio, who gamely began making meowing 
noises at Tenma as she ran.

	"Oh no, Shuuji-san, Mio-san, onee-chan!!!!," Yakumo 
shouted, running after them.

	Nara stared in surprise.

	"Someone's not getting a tip," Haruka observed.

	Harima tried to figure out if he ought to be backing his 
brother up or defending Tenma.  His gut instincts were the 
latter, but really, Tenma shouldn't act like that when 
waitressing.

	The fact that he was actually criticizing Tenma hit him 
like a hammer, leaving him in a kind of stunned state where 
he was unable to intervene on behalf of either.  All he could 
do was watch.

***************
	
	"Never-ending love will power our ship's way home!"

	"DRINK!"

	Some people were starting to get rather drunk; others 
were mostly sober.  Masahiro had stayed sober so he could 
get Miki home okay.  Hanai had done the same in 
anticipation of a drunken Mikoto.  He also had a feeling 
they might end up having to take Eri home, as she was 
drinking like a fish.

	Then the door opened and Hayao entered with Kozue.  
"Hey, guys, this is my little lady Mihara Kozue."

	"Hey, Kozue, grab a drink, join the mocking!" Eri 
said.

	Kozue stared at her in surprise.  "Sawachika-san?"

	"Kozue-san!  Hi!," Mikoto said, waving wildly.

	"Friends of yours?" Hayao asked.

	"Yeah, they're in my class," Kozue said.  She paused, 
trying to figure out a way to tell her classmates to NOT tell 
her parents she was seeing a college guy without making it 
clear to everyone present she shouldn't be there.  But surely 
they were hiding this from their parents and...wasn't 
Sawachika engaged?

	"Where's your fiancee?," she asked Eri.

	"Hopefully being beaten to death," Eri said crankily.  
"But I'm here to forget that idiot."

	Kozue frowned a little.  She rather liked Imadori.  
Hayao was a good boyfriend, kind of exciting sometimes, 
but he didn't...well, she was trying to get over Imadori, 
really.  No point in brooding.  Though if he and Saw...no, 
stick to boyfriend at hand, Kozue thought.

	The movie now ended.

	"Dammit, I was counting on getting totally wasted 
from this movie!," Eri shouted.  "FUCK!"

	Kozue stared.  What was Eri drinking?  Or did she 
normally swear like a sailor when drunk?

	"Not in public, silly," Mikoto said to Eri, then began 
to giggle for no clear reason.

	"Next up, the D&D movie, with the special rule 'drink 
whenever anyone but the male lead is useless when they 
should have been useful," Keiichi said.

	"Does that happen much?" Eri asked eagerly.

	"Even Shinnichi will be wasted by the time we're 
done," Jenny said sagely.

	"SWEET!" Eri said.  "BRING IT ON!"

	Kozue's conscience warred with her desire to have 
fun.  She wanted to relax, drink, and party with the college 
students, but part of her mind was whispering at her to stay 
sober, just in case she had to...in case Sawachika lost it 
totally.  

	Much as she hated to, she decided it best to put lots of 
ice in her drinks to water them down with time, so she 
could stay, if not totally sober, soberer.

	She hoped that was a word.

	It was now, anyway.

*************

	Yakumo had finally caught everyone involved in the 
chase and was trying to figure out what to do.  This would 
not help her restaurant's reputation.  "Onee-chan, Shuuji-
san, please don't run amok in my restaurant."

	"He started it," Tenma said petulantly.

	"SHE started it," Shuuji said.

	"She's a bad waitress," Mio complained.

	"Onee-chan, you're twice his age, you shouldn't act 
half it," Yakumo said, surprising herself.

	Tenma looked utterly stunned, mumbled something 
incoherent, then ran away.

	Shuuji said, "What a crybaby."  He stuck his tongue 
out at the retreating Tenma.

	"And you should know better than to run inside a 
restaurant.  Pay up and go home," Yakumo said firmly, 
shaking a little.

	"I...but...I came to see you...," he said.

	"Is that all you wanted?" Mio said angrily, then ran 
way crying.

	"But...Mio-chan!," Shuuji said.

	Yakumo wanted to bury her face in her hands.  "Pay, 
then go catch her.  She's your responsibility."

	"But...," he protested.

	"Turn in your costume, go pay at the register, then 
go," Yakumo said firmly.

	Shuuji stomped off crankily.	

	Yakumo shivered a little.  She didn't like being 
so...pushy...but she had to maintain order here.  She was 
going to go find Tenma, but a customer waved to her and 
she had to go serve him.  Onee-chan would have to live 
with it a little while.

**************

	Tenma shook Yuri's arm.  "Yakumo is angry at me," 
Tenma said, vibrating.

	"She's actually angry?" Yuri said, surprised.

	Tenma nodded.

	"She must have good reason; she never gets angry at 
you," Yuri said.

	"But..."

	"I don't know what happened, so I can't say anything, 
but I suggest you wash your face, then go back to work, as 
hiding won't do any good when you live with her," Yuri 
said.

	"But she's angry with me," Tenma said frantically.  "I 
don't know what to do."

	Yuri sighed, trying to cook and talk at once.  "Tell me 
what happened."

	"That brat Shuuji...and he challenged me...and 
pie...and now Yakumo's angry!," Tenma wailed.

	Yuri wondered how Yakumo could take this all the 
time.  "Sit down until you can stand to go back to work.  I'll 
get someone to cover your tables."

	"But she...I..."

	Yuri wished for a moment that Tae-chin was here to 
sedate Tenma.  "Just sit down and think about your 
boyfriend until you calm down.  We can talk through all 
this later."

	"Okay," Tenma said, trundling over to sit on a bench 
and fret.

*************

	Yakumo really didn't like confrontations.  "Onee-chan, 
you can't...you shouldn't...we have to treat the customers 
like family."

	"He's a brat," Tenma said stubbornly.

	"It doesn't matter; if he pays and behaves himself, he 
can be a brat.  And Shuuji's not a bad boy, he's just a little 
rough around the edges like Kenji-kun," Yakumo said, 
putting a hand on Tenma's shoulder as she sat next to her.  
"Promise me you won't do this again."

	"I won't do it again," Tenma said.  "Please don't be 
mad at me."

	"I'm not mad," Yakumo lied, though only a little.  She 
was mostly over it, or so she told herself.  "I'm going to a 
party with Kenji-kun, but Yuri-sensei told me she'd take 
you home."

	"Okay," Tenma said gloomily.

	Yakumo gave her a one arm hug.  "See you in the 
morning, probably, as I may be out late.  You'll be okay?"

	"I'll be fine, go party with your lover," Tenma said.  
"I'll just go home and watch some TV."  She sounded 
drained.

	"Okay," Yakumo said, rising.  "Did you talk to Yuri-
san about your schedule for next week?"

	"I will," Tenma said.  Once she finished her moping, 
anyway.

****************

	"Hey, you okay?" Harima asked as they rode towards 
Haruka's place.

	"I'm fine," Yakumo said, leaning against him.  She'd 
changed back to her normal clothing and was enjoying 
being alone with him, with few thoughts to have to ward 
off.  It could be a bit of a cacophony at times, as her powers 
grew stronger.

	She could feel his concern, which made her feel better; 
it was nice to feel loved.  She relaxed into his back and let 
herself drowse, letting her stress bleed away into the night.

	"Just remember, Haruka's a big old flirt, but he won't 
start anything improper if you don't want him to," Harima 
said.  "And we ain't doing nothing naughty, whatever he 
may say."

	"Okay," she mumbled into his back.

	"And don't fall asleep, or you'll fall off the bike and 
Tenma will kill me," Harima said a little urgently.

	She made herself wake up and hold on tighter.  "I 
didn't mean to make you worry."

	"Yeah, well, this is a BAD place to sleep," he said.  "I 
gotta teach you to ride one of these days."

	"I'd like that," she said, feeling closer to him than she 
had of late.  It was nice to just forget everything else and be 
with him.  This business thing definitely was going to make 
it harder to spend time together.  But she couldn't...she 
wasn't going to back down now.  She couldn't...she had to 
do this.

	Even if it terrified her.

**************

	Nara was used to being around rich people from his 
parent's parties, which often involved their clients, who 
were usually loaded.  He did feel underdressed, though.

	Akira was posing for Michiru again, and he and 
Haruka were out on the balcony, watching the city at night 
and the rest of the gated complex.  "You have a fine 
woman," Haruka said.

	"I'm very lucky," Nara said.  "I was never good with 
women, unlike Dad."

	"He a real ladies' man?," Haruka asked.

	"Yeah," Nara said.  "I tried, but I wasn't any good at it.  
Not bold enough."

	Haruka studied him, started to speak, then fell silent.  
After a minute, Haruka said, "Well, it's fun, but really, it's a 
lot easier to have one woman at a time."

	"I know," Nara said.  "I don't know how Father and 
Mother do it."

	"What, they both chase women?" Haruka asked.

	"No, no, mother has her boyfriends, father has his 
girlfriends.  It works for them," Nara said a little 
defensively.

	"Man," Haruka said a little enviously.  "But Akira 
doesn't seem the type to go for that."

	"Not at all," Nara said.  "She is very much a one-man 
woman, so I'm trying to be a one-woman man."  Though 
there was Hanai....but he tried not to think about 
possibilities of things they could do with those two, given 
Mikoto and Hanai already had alternate lovers.  Though 
Mikoto was so cute and well built and...no, no, don't think 
about that.  

	"She certainly can hardly mention you without saying 
how handsome you are and how much she loves you," 
Haruka observed.

	Nara blushed.  "It amazes me," he mumbled.  "She 
was always...she never used to show any emotion.  But I 
think...I've made her more open."

	Haruka studied Nara again thoughtfully.  "Still waters 
run deep," Haruka observed.  

	"There's not a lot of depth to me, I'm afraid, but she's 
very deep," Nara said, leaning on the railing.  "I'm always 
learning new things about her."

	"Everyone has hidden depths, secrets not easily 
shared," Haruka said.  

	There was silence for a time, though Nara could see 
Haruka wanted to ask about something.  He couldn't figure 
out what.

	Finally, Haruka said, "Kenji-san told me about your 
group's adventures in the other world."  This was followed 
by silence.

	Nara was starting to feel very curious.  What exactly 
was he hinting at?  "I must confess I never expected to end 
up a magical cabana boy warrior."

	Haruka laughed softly.  "Kenji didn't explain that part 
very much."

	Nara explained it as best he could.  

	By the end, Haruka looked very amused.  "Hmm, that 
explains a lot.  So did you turn into a harem ninja when you 
were a woman?"

	"I suppose so, but it was just for a fairly short time, so 
I'm not sure," Nara said.  

	"It was just Sawachika-san and Kenji-san who were in 
for the long haul," Haruka said thoughtfully.

	"Right," Nara said.  

	Any further commentary was interrupted by Harima 
stepping out with a drink in hand.  "Hey, guys, what's up?"

	"We're just chillin'," Nara said, trying to sound cool.

	"Just working on seducing the cabana boy," Haruka 
said.

	"..."  Nara stared.

	"You can't fool me," Harima said.  "We need to do 
something bad-ass tonight.  While we're still sober enough 
to win."

	"Well, it is kind of late, and we have to run the shop 
tomorrow and...," Haruka began.

	"That's married wuss thinking," Harima said.  "We're 
not married yet."

	"I don't think Tsukamoto-san will be very happy with 
you if you run off and strand her here," Nara pointed out.

	Harima winced at that, and now Haruka grinned.  
"Who's got the ball and chain now?"

	"Dammit," Harima said, banging the railing with a 
fist; it bonged and vibrated.  "All this work makes me want 
to do something to relax."

	"There's never evil to smite when you need it," Haruka 
said with the voice of experience.  "Having a girlfriend 
does have its downside."

	Haruka and Harima now drifted off into stories of ass-
beatings they'd delivered in the past, while Nara listened 
quietly, wishing he had some stories to tell himself.

*************
	
	Yakumo was surprised by the power of Michiru's 
mind; she couldn't read it and it was very strong, as strong 
as her own, maybe even stronger.  She could feel power in 
Michiru just from shaking her hand, and she suspected 
Michiru felt it too.

	It left her feeling a little awkward as she and Akira 
and Michiru made conversation while Michiru painted a 
picture of Akira, so she mostly sat and listened, which 
matched her proclivities.

	"I understand you assist Harima-san with his manga," 
Michiru said.  

	"Yes," Yakumo said.

	"Would you like to draw me?  I'd like to see your art 
skills."

	"I'm not very good," Yakumo said.

	"That's fine," Michiru said.  "Though I'm sure you're 
better than you think; Harima-san thinks highly of your 
skills."

	That made Yakumo feel a little better.  

	She drew Michiru for a while, then Michiru said, "I 
think the testosterone levels are rising on the balcony."

	Akira laughed.  "Haruka-san and Kenji-san do that to 
each other."

	"You don't think your boyfriend is feeling the same as 
them?" Michiru asked curiously as she worked on Akira's 
face.

	Yakumo listened curiously as she worked on Michiru's 
legs.

	"Nara is too sensible to do anything out of macho 
idiocy," Akira said firmly.  "It's one of his better traits."

	They could hear something--a noise as if two guys 
were chanting "Jump, Jump, Jump!"  A few more seconds 
parsed this as Harima and Haruka's voices.  

	Akira sprang up and ran with Michiru and Yakumo 
trailing after her.  

	They reached the balcony just in time to see...

	Harima and Haruka laughing loudly, while Nara 
looked slightly embarrassed.  "Got you," Harima said.

	"..."  Akira stared mindlessly.

	"Sorry, honey," Nara said.

	Yakumo began to titter and Michiru to laugh loudly.  
Akira finally began to laugh as well.

	"You know, of course, I'll have to get even for this," 
Akira said.

	"We wouldn't have it any other way," Haruka said.  
"Man, the look on their faces..."

	Harima grinned.  "I can see why Akira does this all the 
time."

	"Not all the time," Akira said.

	"C'mon, honey," Nara said, coming over to take her 
hand.  "You know you like jokes."

	"Well, maybe just a little," Akira said, turning to look 
at him.  He was smiling so brightly, it melted her irritation 
at getting 'gotten'.  "You'll pay for this later," she said 
affectionately.

	"With interest," he said, then laughed.

	"Well, I hate to be a party-smasher, but we 
should...probably...go to bed," Haruka said, as if dragging 
the words out of a pit, one by one.
	
	"Yeah, I guess so," Harima said.  "You ready to go, 
Yakumo-san?"

	"I'm ready," Yakumo said, though she wished she 
could stay longer.  

	"Okay, let's all head home," Harima said.  "See you 
tomorrow."

************
	
	Kozue felt a little nervous about the intent way Eri 
was staring at her.  "Sawachika-san?"

	"You're my evil twin, aren't you," Eri said, clearly 
fairly well hammered.

	"No, no," Kozue said, getting a bad feeling.

	"You want Imadori?  You can have him," Eri said.  
"PLEASE."  She stumbled over to take Kozue's hands.  "I 
beg you."

	"I'm over him," Kozue said firmly.  "I have a nice 
college boyfriend now."

	"Anyone here want my useless fiancee who won't 
even grope me?  He likes stupid teachers if any of you plan 
to teach," Eri asked the crowd.

	Kozue's conscience won out.  "Sawachika-san, I think 
it's time for you to go home."

	"Just 'cause I didn't get to bring my bofyrien to the 
party doesn't mean you have to throw me out of the orgy.  I 
can just watch TV," Eri babbled.

	Mikoto seemed to suddenly snap to stability.  "Kozue-
san is right, Eri-chan.  It's time for you to go home."

	"You'll stay with me, won't you, Mikoto-chan?" Eri 
asked, grabbing her shoulders.  "You won't leave me 
alone?"

	"Of course not," Mikoto said, picking her up.  "Come 
on, boyfriend, we have to take Eri home."

	"We can help!" Miki said, standing wobbily.  
"Remember, the engine of love curses...carobs...cures all 
ills!"

	"They'll be okay, we'll see them tomorrow," Masahiro 
said, dragging Miki off.  "I think you've hit your expiration 
date, dear."

	Miki began to giggle.

	Mikoto, Hanai, and Eri headed out.

*************

	Tenma had fallen asleep in front of the TV, half-
tucked in under the kotatsu.  Harima gently carried her to 
her room, putting her on her bed, then went to take a bath.

	He was half-asleep when Yakumo returned from hers.  
"She's interesting," Yakumo said to him, sitting down on 
the bed's edge.

	"Who, what?" Harima mumbled.

	"Do you like women like that?" Yakumo asked 
hesitantly.

	"What are we talking about?" Harima asked, trying to 
sit up.

	"Haruka's girlfriend," Yakumo said.

	"She seems nice enough, but she's kind of hard to be 
sure what she's thinking," Harima said.  "And I'm way 
committed already."  He pulled Yakumo into his lap and 
embraced her.  "What happened with you and Tenma?"

	"She misbehaved and I had to...to...punish her," 
Yakumo mumbled, leaning on him.  

	"Shuuji's bratty enough to make anyone crazy," 
Harima said.

	"I...I think I hurt her feelings," Yakumo said, hanging 
her head.

	"Well, you can't just let people fuck up forever and 
hope they'll learn magically," Harima said.  "But I wouldn't 
want to have to...with her...either."

	"Because you love her," Yakumo said softly.

	"I loved her," Harima said.  "But I can't have her, so I 
have to move on."  He sighed.  "But I wouldn't like doing 
that to you, either."

	She could feel his mind and knew it was true.  She 
reached up and stroked his cheek.  "Kenji-san, I...I..."

	And then exhaustion took her and she clonked over.

	He sighed and laid down, pulling her into place, and 
slept.

*************
 
	"Mikoto-chan, you have to stay with me," Eri said.

	Her iron grip on Mikoto ensured this would likely 
happen anyway.  She was lying down in her bed.

	"Nakamura-san can take me home," Hanai said.  "Stay 
if you want, dear."

	"Okay, I can do that," Mikoto said to Eri.  

	"No, no, Hanai can stay," Eri said, giggling.  "He can 
pretend I'm Miki."

	"..."

	"Wow, you are drunk," Hanai said.  "It wouldn't be 
proper."

	Eri began to laugh.  "Proper...proper...only Akira is 
proper...ahahahahaha."

	"Time to sleep off the alcohol," Mikoto said firmly to 
her.

	"I'll just be going," Hanai said.  While I still can.

************	
	
	Sagano sat cross-legged on a gently drifting cloud, 
making it circle around a small town far below.  This was 
definitely getting easier.  "We just gonna do this the rest of 
the night?"

	"We won't be here much longer, but yes, keep 
practicing," Karasuma said.

	"Okay," she said.  "I think I'm getting the...."

	"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!," a woman shouted at 5 billion decibels.  Sagano felt the 
world shatter into infinite pieces.

	Sagano woke up to the sound of Yuuki making 
muffled, incoherent noises, having somehow managed to 
wedge herself between the bed and the wall, just under the 
window.  The sheets were piled on her, and Sagano 
sprawled across the coverless bed in her t-shirt and 
underwear, dazed, her mother standing over her with a 
megaphone.

	"Sorry, honey, but I can't let you sleep all day."

	"We were out late, detecting," Sagano mumbled.

	"Any luck?" her mother asked.

	"There's a short-list of suspects, but no good way to 
figure out which one," Sagano said.

	"MREURHE," Yuuki said.

	Sagano rolled over and tugged pajamas-clad Yuuki 
out of the bed-wall gap.  "There you go."

	Yuuki sat up.  "Hello, Mrs. Sagano.  I strongly suspect 
Rinko is to blame, but we don't have proof."

	"But Rinko is so sweet and innocent, while Kozue is 
devious and a rival for Imadori with Karen," Sagano said.

	"Yes, but Karen moved on.  Why would Kozue do it 
now?  Rinko, on the other hand, got visibly angry when 
Karen threw Yoshidayama into the wall," Yuuki said.

	"Hmm, I hadn't noticed that," Sagano said.

	"No fingerprints or anything?" Mrs. Sagano asked.

	"I don't have the skills to collect them, and I expect 
that we destroyed any evidence when we cleaned the place 
up," Yuuki said, hopping up off the bed.  "I suppose we 
could try sneaking into Rinko's house, look for evidence, 
but that would probably just get us caught by her parents, 
who might not listen to any explanation."

	"Well, at this point...," Sagano's mother began.

	Yuuki shook her head.  "I can't let this kind of 
dissension take place.  I can understand why she got mad, 
but I can't let someone get away with that, or we'll all end 
up knifing each other by the end of the year," Yuuki said.  
"Anyway, Megumi and I need to get cleaned up; we have 
band practice."

	Sagano's mother nodded.  "Bathe away."

	Once safely in the bathroom, Sagano said, "Good 
thing you convinced me it wasn't safe to sleep naked."

	"It's never safe to be naked in your house," Yuuki said.

	"It's...mostly...safe to be naked when bathing here," 
Sagano said.

	"Unless the dog gets in," Yuuki said.

	Sagano began stripping.  "Picky, picky."

	This time, though, bathing went without incident.

************

	Upon awakening, Eri asked Mikoto, "Did I do 
anything that will haunt me forever?"

	"Not really," Mikoto said.  "Though for a moment, I 
thought you were going to announce you and Kozue would 
have to fight to the death to see who is the real Sawachika 
Eri."

	"..."

	"Did you have fun?" Mikoto asked softly.

	"Yeah," Eri said.

	"Good," Mikoto said, yawning.  "That was the whole 
point."

	"I hope I wasn't in the way of your fun," Eri said.

	"You're never in the way," Mikoto said, stretching.  
"Want to study together a while?"

	"Wow, you wanting to study, that's new," Eri teased.

	"Oh, like you're the queen of education," Mikoto said, 
getting out of bed.  "Let's go."

************

	The problem with moping around the house, Tenma 
found, was that it didn't get you much sympathy when 
everyone was gone.  In fact, it got pretty boring.

	Tenma decided it was time to go find some people she 
could mope with, so she called up Karasuma.  "Ooji-san, 
are you busy?" she asked.

	"Band practice," he said.

	"Can I come watch you rock out?" Tenma asked.

	"Sure," he said.  "We're at Megumi-san's place."

	"I'm on my way!," Tenma said.

**************

	Rinko looked at the window.  Nothing, but every time 
she stopped looking, it seemed like something was peeking 
in.

	"DAAAAD!," she yelled.

	Her father trudged in, yawning.  He tended to sleep 
much of the weekend.  "What?"

	"I think someone is trying to peep on me!," Rinko 
said.

	He sighed.  "I'll go get the bat and go check outside."

	A few minutes later...

	WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM.

	A few minutes later...

	Rinko's father said, "When your mother gets home, 
tell her we need to spray for elves again."  He yawned.

	"Yes, daddy," she said.

	He stumbled off to bed.

**************

	Tenma had a good time with the band and returned 
home to find a note from Yakumo, 'Working late, there's 
food for you in the fridge, just warm it up.'

	Tenma felt much better; Yakumo must have forgiven 
me, she thought.

	She set the oven to 300, which seemed like a nice 
round number for warming something up (the oven 
temperature settings were just ten times those on the 
microwave, right?), then popped the dish of beef and 
noodles and vegetables in the oven for 30 minutes, which 
seemed about right, since you needed to multiply the time 
by ten also.  Right?  The microwave would have been 
faster, but you often messed up the flavor that way.  

	When she ended up with a brick instead of dinner, she 
realized she was going to have to make something herself.

************
	
	"Elves," Yuuki said a little dubiously to Rinko.

	"I just know what Daddy told me," Rinko said, 
irritated.  "He wouldn't lie to me."

	They were talking on the phone.

	"Fine, we'll come check it out," Yuuki said.

	"Thank you, it's all I ask, class president."

	This could be an opportunity, Yuuki thought.  And if 
there were elves...it could mean some sort of cross-
dimensional invasion in progress.  Which might call for the 
harem ninjas.

	Not that she was looking for an excuse to run around 
scantily clad or anything.

***************

	After hours of work, Harima hoped he was going to 
win this contest, as doing this for a month was going to 
drive him insane if he lost.  Though the work was 
interesting, but his homework and manga were still waiting 
for him and he was very glad they'd decided to not open on 
Sundays.

	To his surprise, Tae-sensei now showed up with Tani-
sensei in tow and two brand new motorcycles.  "Hi, Hario-
kun!  We've come for you to pimp up our cycles."

	"Do you have to call it that?," Tani-sensei asked.

	"I've got a design and everything," she said.  

	"Yuri-sensei going to take turns riding with you?", 
Harima asked.

	"She got a cycle too, but she's going to take hers to 
another shop, as, well, she is competing with you," Tae-
sensei said.  "But I'm free to support everyone!"

	Harima wondered if he ought not to eat at 
Yakumo's...it did help her to win...but the food was so 
good...  Now he was torn.

	"Got any preferences?" Haruka asked.

	Tae-sensei delivered them a long list of decorations 
and modifications.  Tani-sensei lurked, looking nervous.

	"Hmm, cool," Haruka said.  "We'll get right on it."

	"Thank you," Tae-sensei said.  "I've been meaning to 
get a new cycle once I got steady work, and now I can 
afford it and help out my Hario."

	Haruka looked curiously at Harima, while Tani-sensei 
said, "Just call us when it's ready.  Let's go, dear."

	"But I...,"  Tae-sensei was now dragged off.

	" ' Hario'? ", Haruka asked.

	"Don't ask," Harima mumbled.  "Let's get cracking."

*************	

	"Here, fondle this glass," Fuyuki said to Rinko.

	Confused, she did so.  He took the glass back; she now 
noticed he was wearing gloves.  He tucked the glass into a 
bag.

	As they stomped around outside her window, they 
found three sets of footprints, but the trail got lost at the 
nearby road.  "One male...one female...did the female elf 
have a long braid by any chance?  And the male elf, was he 
tall and muscular?"

	"Yes," Rinko's father said groggily.  "Have you 
encountered them before?"

	"Notorious elf-criminals," Yuuki said deadpan.  "Don't 
worry, I'll make sure you never see them again."

	Ishiyama came around one side.  "What's this about 
elves?"

	"Thank goodness," Rinko said, running over to him 
and taking his hands.  "There are elves infesting our yard 
again."

	Ishiyama looked over at Yuuki.

	Yuuki said, "Elves hate mustard; you can squirt them 
with it from a squeeze bottle to repel them."

	"Also, mayonaisse and ketchup.  It's the eggs and 
vinegar in them," Fuyuki said.

	"And turn your clothing inside-out," Sagano added.

	"Also, ideally, you need to ring churchbells," Yuuki 
said.

	Rinko began frantically taking notes.

	Ishiyama said, "..."

	"I see," Rinko's dad said, yawning.  "Ishiyama-san, 
watch over Rinko.  I'm going to bed.  Rinko, you should 
offer your guests some of that jello you made the other day.  
It's eating up refrigerator space, even if you did eat half of 
it and get sick."

	"Yes, sir," he said. 

	Yuuki turned her stare on Rinko; you couldn't see her 
eyes behind her glasses.  "So you made a lot of jello the 
other day?"

	"I...uh...ahahaha," she said.

	"She's innocent," Ishiyama said desperately.

	"It's looking rather to the contrary," Yuuki said coldly.  

	"I took a bunch of the jello and avenged what 
happened to my friend and club-mate Yoshidayama," 
Ishiyama said firmly.  He dug in his wallet.  "Here's the 
receipt for some of the jello."

	Yuuki looked at it suspiciously, then at him, then said, 
"Fine.  I'm sure that Mr. Ichijou will be able to give you a 
harder beating without killing you than he could give Rinko 
anyway."

	Her eyeless gaze swept to Rinko's face.  "You going to 
let him do this."

	"Bishi-san, you don't...," she began.

	"It's fine," he said.  "I did it, I'll take my punishment."  
Self-sacrifice didn't come easily to him, but he was afraid 
of what would happen to Rinko, and sure that he could take 
it better than she could.  She'd only done what he hoped 
someone would do for him, in a similar situation.  It was 
what a boyfriend should do for his girlfriend, right?

	Sagano looked rather impressed.  Fuyuki said, "You're 
a brave man.  Or a crazy one."

	"Or perhaps you like pain," Yuuki said.  "Alright, time 
to take the prisoner to the Ichijou house for his beating."

	"Beating?" Rinko asked weakly.

	"Or whatever Mr. Ichijou decides is a suitable 
punishment," Yuuki said.  "Fuyuki, we'll need to get your 
videocamera.  Prisoner, come with us."

	"Bishi-san," Rinko whispered, horrified.

	"Don't worry, I'm sure it won't be too bad," he said to 
Rinko.  "I'll see you later, okay?"

	"Okay," she mumbled, watching him go.

*************

	That Monday, Yuuki opened class by saying, 
"Ishiyama Hiroyama has confessed to the jello-ing of 
Karen-san's house.  He has been punished by Ichijou's 
parents over the weekend.  This case can be considered 
closed once we roll the tapes."

	"Roll the tapes?" Imadori asked, looking stiff and 
awkward.

	Ishiyama's eyes widened and he buried his face in his 
hands.

	Rinko frowned.

	"Vice President Fuyuki, if you will."

	The tapes opened with Ishiyama in a poorly fitting 
women's pink ballet outfit, being made to dance in the 
Ichijou family living room.  Karen's mother drilled him 
through his paces, making him do moves over and over 
until he learned them.

	The class was soon reduced to hysterical laughter.  It 
only got worse when he had to scrub the outside of the 
house...still wearing the outfit.  

	Kaitou-sensei came over to complain, but soon was 
standing in the door laughing instead of complaining.

	Ishiyama wanted to curl up and die.  

	Before the tape finished, however, Tani-sensei cut it 
off.  "That's enough," he said.  "We have class now."

	"Talk to me if you want a copy," Fuyuki said.

	Tani-sensei winced, then began teaching.

************
	
	"Don't you think you were a little harsh on him?" 
Tani-sensei asked Yuuki at lunch, having called her, 
Sagano, and Fuyuki to the teacher's lounge for a 
conference.

	"Assuming he told the truth, he made a truly 
horrendous mess of the Ichijou house with jello," Yuuki 
said.  "I let them set the punishment; I just delivered him.  
But I think it appropriate."

	"Assuming he told the truth?" Tani-sensei asked, 
frowning.

	"I expect he's taking the fall for Rinko," Yuuki said.

	"Yeah, protecting his girlfriend," Sagano said.

	Tani-sensei sighed.  "Well, it's outside school, so it's 
not my jurisdiction.  Just please be a little more merciful; I 
don't like public humiliations."  He had too many bad 
memories of such.

	"I'm hoping to cut things off here so they don't start 
further escalating," Yuuki said.  "But I appreciate your 
advice, sensei."

	A way of saying 'but I won't take it,' Tani-sensei 
thought.  He sighed.  "Well, carry on.  Just be careful you 
don't alienate everyone through harsh punishments."

	"It..."  Yuuki stopped, breathed in, breathed out.  "I 
don't want that either, sir.   Is there anything else?"

	"No, you're free to go," he said.

	They left, and Kaitou-sensei said from the other side 
of the table, "I thought it was brilliant.  I wish we could do 
that."

	"Too much power is never good," Tani-sensei said.  

	"In teaching, you can never have too much power," 
Kaitou-sensei said.

	Well, we'll see, Tani-sensei thought.  We'll see.

************

	Ishiyama was about to eat lunch when Yoshidayama 
stumbled in.  He looked a little worn and there was a rope 
tied around one ankle, trailing about three feet length, 
where it had been roughly hacked off in a rough end.  "Yo, 
man, I hear you were the jello-monger."

	"Yeah, that's me," Ishiyama said softly.  He could hear 
people whispering and pointing and laughing and he 
wanted to die.  

	Yoshidayama said, "Man, they reamed you out pretty 
good, but I have to say, you're cool.  Ain't nobody ever 
taken a beating for me like that before.  I just wish I coulda 
seen people sliding around in that jello.  Man."

	"Thanks," Ishiyama said.

	"Seriously, man, I owe you big," Yoshidayama said.  
"Damned if I know how I can repay that, but I'll figure out 
something."

	Rinko, Saeko, Nagayama, and Tanaka now came over 
with their lunches to join him.  "Man, Karen's family 
doesn't mess around," Saeko said.  "You okay?"

	"Been worse," Ishiyama said.

	Rinko came over and hugged him tightly, silently, 
then kissed his cheek.  "You are a total, total sweetie," she 
said.

	That made him feel better.  "It was nothing 
impressive," he said.

	"The man doesn't back down," Yoshidayama said.  
"That's to be admired.  Dammit, I need food.  I forgot to 
take anything when I escaped."

	"Escaped?" Nagayama asked.

	"Don't worry, we won't laugh at you," Tanaka said to 
Ishiyama.  "Much."

	"Here, go buy yourself some lunch before it's all 
gone," Rinko said, passing Yoshidayama a thousand yen 
note while continuing to hug Ishiyama, resting her head on 
his shoulder.

	"Damn, you're generous.  I'll pay you back when I 
steal...get the rest of my allowance," Yoshidayama said.

	Rinko laughed.  "You're so funny, Yoshi-kun."

	He took off to get food.

	Saeko looked around at the class, then said, "Man, so 
you took the fall for her.  THAT's the mark of a good 
boyfriend," she said softly.

	"You didn't have to," Rinko said.  "But we're not 
dating, Saeko-san."

	"Uh huh," Saeko said.

	Nagayama just smiled a little dreamily, and Tanaka 
said, "Well, whatever you two want to call yourselves, I'm 
impressed.  You owe him big, Rinko."

	"Oh, don't worry about it, it was nothing," Ishiyama 
said humbly.

	Rinko winced a little.  "No, it is big.  I'll figure out 
something."

	"You're very kind," Ishiyama said.

	"No, you're the kind one."

	Iris out on two people trying to prove the other is 
kinder.

*************

	Iris in on Karen feeling guilty.

	Karen mumbled into her food.

	"He got what was coming to him for making that huge 
mess.  It took us forever to help you all clean it," Harry 
said.  "Hopefully, this will teach him to not be stupid.  Now 
I just have to figure out how to keep Yoshidayama away 
from Jenny."

	"You should let your sister live or die by her own 
strength," Lala said.

	"If I did that, she'd have died a loooong time ago," 
Harry said.  "But I have to say, Yoshidayama doesn't give 
up easy."

	"I admire that," Lala said.  "He's not too bright, but 
he's got a strong will and doesn't give up, which is good."

	Harry looked thoughtfully at Lala.

	"No," Lala said.

	"But..."

	"If I want to stick my neck out, I can have a much 
classier man than him," Lala said.  

	Harry looked at her curiously.

	"Anyway, I'm not throwing myself on a spike for 
you," Lala said.

	"He does need a girlfriend," Karen said.  "Maybe...no, 
that's too cruel."

	"You mean?" Harry asked.

	"Yeah," she said.

	He began to laugh.  

	Lala watched, hoping she wouldn't end up caught in 
the blast radius of whatever he was thinking.

***********	

	Harima was in the process of helping to strap Osaka 
and Chiyo-chan into the sidecar when he felt the pressure 
of someone flying through the air at him.

	Osaka shouted, "Harima-san!  DEATH FROM 
ABOVE!"

	He turned and punched, finding to his horror he had 
just punched out a pixie-ish young lass armed with a 
baseball bat.  She looked more cute than dangerous.  "Shit," 
he said.

	"Kaorin-san!," Chiyo-chan said.  "She must have 
tripped coming out of the school with a bat."

	Harima found this dubious.

	Sakaki came over and picked her up.  "I'll take her to 
the nurse and come see Iori tomorrow instead."

	"Thanks," Harima said.  "Who is this?"

	"A friend of mine," Sakaki said.  "She must have 
tripped."

	Harima found this dubious, but let it slide for now.

*************

	"I think showing the class was overdoing it, but that 
the Ichijou family had the right to levy whatever they saw 
fit, within limits," Hanai said.

	He and Mikoto and Yuuki and Fuyuki and Sagano 
were all at an ice cream shop together.  Having ice cream, 
logically enough.

	"Yeah, that makes sense," Mikoto said.

	Yuuki glanced at Sagano and Fuyuki.

	"I just couldn't stop laughing," Sagano said.

	"I think Hanai is right," Fuyuki said.

	Yuuki frowned, but then nodded.  She ate some 
strawberry ice cream, then said, "You're probably right.  I 
will avoid that in the future."

	"He'd already been humiliated enough," Hanai said.  

	"But you did laugh," Sagano said.

	Hanai carefully stared at his vanilla, eating it slowly.  
"A little."

	"Rinko may try and avenge her boyfriend on you," 
Mikoto said, pointing with her spoon for emphasis.  "She 
looked pretty hacked off."

	"Any girlfriend would be," Sagano said.  "Any that 
didn't suck.  I have a feeling Madoka would have been 
laughing at Shigeo, if he'd been the one on the line."

	"What pisses me off is that she threw her boyfriend to 
the wolves," Yuuki said, her voice angry.  "She was too 
cowardly to take the punishment herself; she let him take 
the blow."

	"It's a boyfriend's duty, right, Fuyuki?" Sagano said.

	"It's cowardly," Yuuki said.

	"It shows how much he loves her," Fuyuki said.

	"Yeah," Mikoto said.

	"Well, taking it when your girlfriend doesn't deserve it 
shows devotion," Hanai said.  "But taking it when she's 
earned punishment means she may not learn anything."

	Mikoto's eyes widened a moment, then she sighed.  "I 
should have known you'd say that."

	"I'd take a bullet for you, dear, but I wouldn't go to 
detention for you," Hanai said, now looking a little worried.

	Mikoto stared at him, then smiled a little.  "That's all 
you, honey."

	"What?" he asked in confusion.

	Yuuki nodded with satisfaction.  

	Sagano stared contemplatively at her rocky road, then 
began gobbling it down before it could melt.  Note to self, 
she thought.  Love doesn't mean immunity to detention.  

	"Are you guys helping out Harima again?" Yuuki 
asked curiously.

	"A little, but mostly we're busy running the dojo with 
Mr. Hanai gone," Mikoto said.

	"Still no news of him?," Yuuki asked.

	"We still aren't sure what he's up to," Hanai said.

*************
	
	"Toss me the golden idol and I'll throw you the 
whip!," Mr. Hanai shouted to Mr. Gonzales.  Mr. Tawaraya 
was out at the seaplane on the lake the cave was next to.  

	"Hey, you can't fool me with that trick," Mr. Gonzales 
said from across the underground chasm, though he could 
see the giant ball closing in behind him.

	"No, I'm serious!  You can't do the swing right with 
the idol!"

	"Fine," Mr. Gonzales said, tossing the idol to Mr. 
Hanai.

	Mr. Hanai caught it and threw the whip.

	It fell short, plunging into the chasm.

	"Damn, I never was a good thrower in PE," Mr. Hanai 
said.

	"YOU IDIOT!"

	WHAM!

	The ball kept going, large enough to just roll across 
the chasm with Mr. Gonzales stuck to it.  It then slammed 
into Mr. Hanai and carried them both off down the tunnel 
towards the lake.

	"I'M NEVER LETTING YOU TAKE A SHORTCUT 
AGAIN!" Mr. Gonzales shouted as they rolled on.

*************

	"What are you looking for?" Buddha asked Imadori as 
they, among others in the club, manned the club store that 
afternoon.

	"Something nice to give Ishiyama.  His heroic self-
sacrifice and his ability to get Rinko to cuddle him in the 
middle of class deserve to be rewarded," Imadori said, 
studying the back of a tape.  'Harem Wisher:  The story of a 
young man who discovers he can summon himself harem 
girls by comparing the likeliness of an event to the 
likeliness of those girls joining his harem.  All goes well 
until his shapeshifting prankish friend impersonates one of 
the harem girls...'  

	Buddha sighed.  "Never give a man a tape that gives 
away the main plot twist on the back.  Also, the revelation 
scene will make most men never trust a woman to be really 
female again."

	"Got any suggestions?"

	"I know he likes Star Trek.  We have a ton of stuff," 
Buddha said.

	"But it's so mundane," Imadori said.  "Not enough sex 
or nudity."

	"He has a girlfriend now," Buddha said.

	"True, no point in giving him anything she might 
purge," Imadori said.  "Beam me up to the Star Trek stuff, 
Buddha."

	Buddha laughed and took him over and they began 
hunting in earnest.

**************

	"I don't have time for boys when I have people to 
KILL," Tomo said, then paused.  "Is he cute?"

	"Very," Harry said.  "And it'll piss Sagano off if you 
date him."

	"Why didn't you say that before?" Tomo asked.  "I'm 
in like Flynn!"

	"Like who?" Harry asked.

	"I don't get it either," Tomo confessed.

***********

	Rinko kissed Ishiyama's cheek again, then gave him a 
final hug before getting out of the car.  "See you later, 
Bishi-san!"

	"Well, things seem to be going well with you two," his 
father said to him.

	"Yeah," Ishiyama said.

	"Well enough for you to take a big fall for her," his 
father continued.

	Ishiyama froze up.

	"Your teacher called me.  Don't worry, I'm not mad.  
I'm just going to tell you to be careful.  Taking the blame 
for others...well, it means taking the consequences.  And 
things like this...they have them," his father said, speeding 
up as he pulled away from the curb.  "But good luck."

	"Thank you, father."

	"If she ever jello-s our house, I'm going to kill you, 
though."

	"I understand," Ishiyama said.  

	"Your mother will get to chaperone you two this 
weekend, assuming you're going out again."

	"Probably, no plans yet," Ishiyama said.  

	"Well, good luck, son.  Young love is painful, but you 
have to learn by doing," his father said.  "Which is not me 
telling you that you can have sex with her."

	"Yes, sir."

	"You're too young for a baby."

	"Yes, sir."

	"But if you do have a baby, you have to name him 
Misoaki after your grandfather."

	"Yes, sir."

	"Then it's all settled.  Don't forget to help your mother 
when we get home."

	"Yes, sir."

	"And don't forget to correct the reactor settings."

	"Yes, sir."

	His father sighed.  "Stop putting your mouth on auto-
pilot, boy."

	"Yes, sir."

	His father decided to shake him back to reality once 
they got home where it would be safe to take his hands off 
the wheel.

***********

	The next few days passed without significant incident.  
By Thursday, Akira was starting to worry.  Her mother had 
yet to make a major sabotage attempt.  That could only 
mean she was saving up for something horrible beyond 
human imagining.

	"Kenji-san, do you think...," she began.

	"I think a lot," he said as he worked on pimping a 
motorcycle.  What kind of person wants blue stars and pink 
diamonds on their cycle, he thought.  "Man, I wish I didn't 
have to go do homework and manga after this."

	"It's only a month," Akira said.  "I always work during 
school."

	"You're a genius," Harima said.  "And I'm not."  Paint, 
paint.  

	"Don't worry, I won't let you flunk," Akira said.  "And 
you are doing very well."

	"Playing to my strengths," he said, watching Haruka 
mack on some of the customers.  "If my manga falls 
through, something like this wouldn't be bad, once I don't 
have school over my head."

	She nodded.  "Well, only two more days after this and 
then you have Sunday off."

	"Amen to that," he said.

*************
		
	Yoshidayama stared at the money.  "Wow."

	"Business has been good, and I thought after your 
injuries, you could use a chance to really live it up," his 
mother said.

	He punched his mother affectionately in the arm.  
"Rock.  I can go on a date with this."

	She punched back, decking him.  "Oop, sorry, honey, I 
don't know my own strength."

	"It was worth it," he mumbled from the floor.

***********

	Yoshidayama was startled to see a short girl with short 
dark hair staring at him intently as he approached the 
school Friday morning.  She was wearing another school's 
uniform, but nevertheless, she was leaning against the 
building next to the door.

	When she saw him, she stalked over to him.  
"Yoshidayama-san?"

	"Uh, yeah, that's me," he said.  "Do I know you?"  She 
looked vaguely familiar to him.

	"I'm Tomo Takino.  You're taking me out tonight," she 
said.

	"I...what???" he asked.

	She loomed over him like the doom of all things.  
"You are taking me out tonight!  Be at my house at 6!  
Dress nice.  Bring money.  And flowers."

	"But I...," he began.

	"If you are late, there will be PAIN," Tomo said 
firmly.  "Here's my address and a map," she said, handing 
him a carefully drawn map and directions.  She was proud 
of how much effort she'd put into it.  "And you must tell 
Sagano we're going out."

	What the hell is going on?  He was confused.  "Tell 
Sagano?"

	"Exactly.  See you at six.  Or see you in an EARLY 
GRAVE," she said.  "Gotta run or I'll be late.  More late."

	Then she ran off.  

	He walked inside, confused, wondering if he could 
safely defy her or if she really could kill him.

	She reached his seat, only to have Rinko ask him, 
"Are you busy tonight?" she asked.

	"I think I have a date with some girl named Tomo 
Takino," he mumbled.

	"You _think_ you have a date?" she asked in 
confusion.

	"I'm not entirely clear if any of this is real," he said.

	Sagano popped up.  "Did I hear the baleful name of 
Tomo?"

	"Yeah, she ordered me to take her out," Yoshidayama 
said, slightly zombie-like.

	"I forbid it!  Tomo may never know the pleasure of a 
2-C man!," Sagano said.

	"Yeah, you can't let her push you around," Rinko said.

	He remembered the light of madness in the woman's 
eyes.  "I don't think it's safe to say no," he said.

	"What about your Jenny?," Rinko demanded.  "You 
think she'll be happy?"

	"I have to defeat Harry to get to Jenny," Yoshidayama 
mumbled.  "And I can't do that sane."

	"Tomo is the enemy of all life," Sagano said 
frantically.  "You will surely die."

	"Well, I guess I'm doomed," Yoshidayama said.  He 
was still too worn out to resist the power of Tomo.

	Rinko frowned.  "Well, see, Saeko and I and Bishi-san 
and Nagayama and Tanaka, we're all going to a basketball 
game, and I hoped you'd go with us.  We already even 
bought you a ticket," she said.  

	"That would be great, but I'll be killed if I don't go out 
with Tomo," Yoshidayama said.

	"Hmm, we just need a victim we can disguise as 
you...," Sagano said thoughtfully.

	"..."  Yoshidayama stared at her.

	"Or something.  I will see if I can find you a way out 
by the end of school," Sagano said.

	Yoshidayama wasn't sure if her solution would be 
better than the problem.

*************

	"Hmm," Imadori said to Yoshidayama at lunch.  "I 
suppose telling her you have to work at our store wouldn't 
stop her."

	"It wouldn't stop me," Sagano said.

	"And we probably can't talk Takano-sama into 
shooting her," Imadori said.

	"Unless we convince her that Tomo is a covert agent 
for her daughter," Shin said.

	"Oh hoh," Imadori said.  "I think we have a winner."

	"But how do we do that?," Yoshidayama asked.

	"Sagano-san, I'm going to need to tap your boyfriend's 
skills," Imadori said.

	"You have my permission, but..."  Sagano stopped and 
banged her head on a desk.  "That's fine."

	Imadori looked at her quizzically.

	"Don't ask," Sagano said firmly, and went to go get 
him.

***********
	
	"Maybe I should just bail if you won't need me for 
balance," Saeko said.  "I can grab another shift at Animal 
Kingdom."

	"No, no, that would waste two tickets instead of one," 
Tanaka said.  "Just find a date; I'm sure someone here will 
want to see the game."

	"Most of the single guys are working in all the student 
businesses, though," Saeko said.  "But maybe I can raid 
another class or something."

	"Just give it a shot," Tanaka said.  "You're pretty 
ingenious."

	So true, Saeko thought, and went to work.

*************
	
	Yomi looked at Tomo suspiciously.  "You look even 
more chipper than usual."

	"I have a date," Tomo said cheerfully.

	The entire classroom went dead silent as everyone 
froze.

	"You lie," Yomi said desperately.

	"You have a date and I don't?" Kagura said in 
disbelief.

	"It's the end of the world," Kagura pronounced.

	"Good luck, Tomo-san!," Chiyo-chan said.

	Osaka studied her lunch, trying to think of some clever 
way you could crossbreed ramen with sausage to get the 
best of both.  She wasn't having much luck.  

	"I HAVE A DATE!" Tomo shouted, leaping onto her 
desk and waving her hands in the air.

	"THEN DIE!" Yukari-sensei shouted, hurling her 
briefcase at Tomo's head as she paused in the doorway.

	Tomo went flying out the window with the briefcase, 
shouting, "I have a date and Yukari-sensei is grounded!  
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

	"Well, if she can get a date, so can I," Yomi said, 
glasses flashing.

	"I will not let Tomo defeat me!," Kagura shouted.

	The game was afoot.

************

	"I can't work, I have a date," Shin said to Imadori.

	"You're on the schedule," he said.  "Takano-san will 
kill you."

	"I can handle death for a date with Saeko!," he said.  
"And SHE asked ME."

	"I see it's your turn to be harvested," Buddha said.

	"..."

	"She's not trying very hard if he's the designated 
revenue stream," Imadori said.

	Buddha looked at him.

	"Hey, I am running a business.  I've been trying to 
learn enough that I don't have to totally lean on Takano-
sama," Imadori said. 

	Buddha looked at him.

	Imadori sighed.  "I just want to understand the things 
she says."

	Shin laughed.  "Anyway, let her know I'm busy."

	"We will pray for your soul when she hunts you 
through the streets," Buddha said.

	"Oh, it'll be fine," Shin said.  "You're being paranoid."

	Imadori and Buddha began laughing ominously in 
unison; they had been practicing it for just such an occasion 
as this.  

**************

	Yoshidayama was in the process of trying to find 
something to wear that might qualify as 'nice' to the 
maniac.  His mother stuck her head in while he was in his 
underwear.  "Someone here to see you."

	"Dammit, Mom, I'm half-naked!," he said.

	"I've seen you butt-naked and pissing yourself, so 
nothing you do can surprise me now, unless you've had 
secret surgery to become a woman," she said.

	He sighed.  "Who is it?"

	"Some teacher or something.  Named 'Takano'."

	Shit, he thought. She's probably here to kill me for 
missing work due to my injuries.  "Shit.  I need something 
to wear...something nice..."

	Takano-san walked in.  "Hello, Yoshidayama."  She 
handed him a spray cannister and a wrapped package.  
"You may find these useful for your date."

	He dove behind the bed.  "I'm half-naked!" he 
protested.

	"Not the important half," Takano-san said.  "Anyway, 
you may find those useful for your date."

	He unwrapped them.  It was a nice suit and a spraycan 
of mace.  "..."

	"Keep them, they're yours.  We can schedule new 
hours for you once recover from tonight's beating," she 
said.

	He cringed.  "You're going to beat me up?"

	"No, but I expect your date will get you maimed 
somehow.  Good luck," Takano-san said.

	Yoshidayama gulped.  Oh boy.

*************

	"Here's your kickback," Imadori said to Kosuke, who 
had swung by the store.  

	Kosuke counted the money.  "Awesome.  I never got 
paid for just bragging about something before."

	"There's more if you keep up attracting us business," 
Imadori said.

	"Now I can buy stuff!," Kosuke said, running straight 
for the Doujibirion section.

	"Good kid," Imadori said.

	Takano-san nodded.  "And we get the money back as a 
boost to our sales."

	"We need to knock down our rivals' sales," Imadori 
said.

	"I tried sending a health inspector, but somehow, he 
failed to find the things I paid him to do," Takano-san said, 
frowning.  "He gave them a clean bill of health."

	"I wonder how that happened," Imadori thought.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	The wavy lines denote a flashback, you see.

	A few days earlier, Inspector Hanazaki had presented 
his list of problems to Yuri.  "Fifty six health code 
violations.  Very grave."

	Yuri looked over to Yakumo, who was writing 
quickly, consulting with Saeko.  She then took the list the 
two produced and ran it through the office photocopier.  
"Here's our list of places you took bribes to condemn, who 
bribed you, and how much.  Here's your copy, and this 
copy will go to your superior and..."

	"..." 

	"Is something wrong?" Yuri asked, looking nervous, 
but determined.

	"How did you know all this?" 
	
	Yuri unbuttoned her sleeve just enough to show a 
serpent inscribed on her skin, barely hidden by the long 
sleeves.  More careful examination would, in fact, have 
shown it to be a press-on tattoo reinforced by magic 
marker, but she didn't give him that chance.

	"Also, you really shouldn't keep incriminating text 
messages on your cell phone," Saeko said, handing it back 
to him.

	"..."

	"Now, let's talk business," Saeko continued, smiling 
broadly.  "There's always room to make a deal."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Unaware of the audience's flashback, Imadori turned 
to a new subject.  "Shin's going to miss work," he said.  
"He has a date."

	"Oh, really," Takano-san said.  "So he puts his date 
ahead of his duty to the business."

	"Please be merciful," Buddha said.  

	"I leave the store in your hands.  Call me if anything 
resembling a sabotage attempt happens," Takano-san said.  
"I'm off to deliver a lesson in priorities."

	She took off.

	Buddha snapped a salute.  "Oh Shin, we hardly knew 
you."

	Imadori was torn.  Sneak off to try to see Yukari and 
risk Takano-sama coming back, finding out, and killing 
him, or stay here and waste a Friday night on running a 
store, but not dying.  

	He hated hard choices.

*************

	Yukari squirmed.  "Being picked up from work by my 
mother is embarrassing," she said petulantly.

	"No driving while grounded, dear," her mother said.  
"And no sneaking out of the house to ruin your student's 
date, either."

	"How...HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" 
Yukari demanded.

	"A little bird told me," her mother said.

	"Dammit, someone sold me out," Yukari grumbled.

	"But the good news is that Nyamo-chan and her 
boyfriend are going to come spend the evening with you so 
you don't have to be lonely," her mother said cheerfully.

	More like to keep an eye on me, Yukari thought 
darkly.  But at least she could torment that bastard Umino.  
"We have white bread, right?"

	"Just like you like, dear," her mother said.

	Perfect, Yukari thought.  

*************

	Yoshidayama checked.  He still had the flowers.  He 
was here in time.  He had nice clothing.  He even had 
money.  And something vaguely resembling a plan.  And 
mace in his pocket.

	He knocked on the door with the vague feeling people 
were spying on him, though he couldn't see anyone.  

	For what seemed an eternity, there was an ominous 
silence.  Then footsteps.  Then an adult in beat up, grass-
stained clothing answered the door.  A man.  Probably her 
father, though he seemed as laid-back as his daughter was 
spastic.  "You must be Yoshidayama Jirou," he said.

	"Yes, sir," he said.

	"You must be something special; no one has ever 
asked my daughter out before," the man said.

	"She...," he began.

	"Show her a good time, or her mother will kill you," 
he said.

	"I...yes, sir," Yoshidayama mumbled.

	"And if you get her pregnant, you'll have to marry 
her," her father said.

	"I....there's no danger of that, sir," Yoshidayama said.  
"I know better."

	"See, I told her mother you'd be sensible.  Come on in, 
her mother is in frantic makeover mode, so you may have 
to wait an hour or two.  But I made snacks."  Lazily, he 
ambled into the house, letting Yoshidayama follow him.  

	In fact, he only had to wait about fifteen minutes, 
watching ESPN-Japan and eating celery with peanut butter 
on it, when Tomo came down the stairs in a long purple 
dress.  It was nicer than anything in Yoshidayama's family 
had ever owned, so he was glad for the suit he'd been 
given.  It looked hand tailored to him, though surely she 
couldn't have gotten it made for her so quickly.  She wore a 
coronet in her hair, long silk gloves and a golden necklace 
strewn with silver planet pendants.  He noticed it was 
sleeveless and shoulderless except for two tiny straps 
around her neck holding it up.

	He stared mindlessly, realizing she was actually pretty 
good looking if she bothered to try.  Maybe this wouldn't 
be so bad after all.

	He stood and offered her the flowers nervously.  
"These are for you."

	Her eyes lit up.  "You thought to bring me flowers!  
How sweet of you," she said, taking them and sniffing them 
deeply.  Her eyes watered a moment, and she said, "Ahh, 
the sweet smell of spring here in the dead of winter."

	Then she passed them to her mother, who popped 
them into a vase.  She looked expectantly at Yoshidayama.

	He laughed nervously, trying to figure out what 
exactly she was expecting.  Then he said, "Your arms and 
your shoulders may get cold.  It is January."

	Her mother whipped out a fuzzy purple thing which 
she draped about the arms and shoulders and neck of 
Tomo.  "There you go."

	Yoshidayama couldn't decide if it was pretty or looked 
too much like a fuzzy caterpillar.  "Let's go."

	She was waiting for something.  He stared mindlessly, 
racking his brain.

	Finally, her father shoved him gently, whispering, 
"Take her arm, boy."

	Nervously, he did so, instinctively expecting her to 
pummel him to death.  Instead, she smiled, and said, "Lead 
me on, Jirou-san."

	For a moment, he had to struggle to realize she was 
talking to him.  No one ever used his name.  "I will," he 
said nervously, and took her out into the night, hoping 
things would stay this smooth, though the fact that he could 
sense being stalked made him suspect doom was coming.

*************

	Saeko looked over at Shin thoughtfully.  "Has Takano-
san paid you yet?"

	"Our first payday is next Friday, but Dad spotted me 
some cash," he said, gesturing grandly.  "Buy what you 
like."

	Her eyes lit up.  "You're the greatest date a woman 
could ask for, Shin-san."  She turned to the waiter, who was 
Sara.  "I'll have the Steak and Shrimp dinner with the corn 
on the cob and the mixed vegetables.  Also, add a baked 
potato, the mushrooms with rice and..."  Check, check.  "A 
bottle of...red or white, Shin-san?"

	"I...uh...red," he mumbled.

	Rinko just shook her head.  

	"Red... Cabernet Sauvignon or a Merlot, Shin-san?"

	"Hell, might as well go whole hog.  Cabernet 
Sauvignon," Shin said despairingly, glad someone else had 
paid for the tickets.

	Ishiyama glanced at him, then elbowed him and slid 
two 2000 yen notes towards him. 

	Shin looked very embarrassed, but took it, making 
sure Saeko didn't see, as she was turned to the waiter.

	Rinko's eyes, on the other hand, tracked the money, as 
did Tanaka.  Nagayama still had her nose in her menu.

	"This is going to be great," Saeko said.  "Anyway, 
that's all for me; I don't want to get so full I fall asleep at 
the game."

	Sara nodded; she was wearing a bunny-girl outfit, but 
with racoon accessories.  "Okay."

	"And don't forget my employee discount," Saeko said.

	Shin gave a sigh of relief.

	"Of course not," Sara said.  "Rinko-san, you're next."

	"I'll just have some mushroom soup and a caesar 
salad," Rinko said.  

	"You can have an entree if you want to," Ishiyama 
said.  

	"But...", she began.

	"It's okay," he said.

	She looked slightly flustered, but said, "Well, in that 
case, cancel the soup and add a big bowl of chili with a 
small bowl of noodles and a small one of mixed vegetables 
on rice."

	"I'll have a sand...," Ishiyama began.

	Rinko gave him an accusing look.  

	"I'll try the chicken fried steak with the mixed 
vegetables on rice," he said.  "But no gravy.  The gravy 
they put on chicken fried stuff is nasty."

	"How about some steak sauce?" Sara suggested.  "Or 
soy sauce."

	"I...sure, I'll try steak sauce."  There's a sauce just for 
steak?  He was surprised.

	Nagayama put her menu down.  "Is that really whale 
on the menu?"

	"Yes, but it costs a ton.  I'd say to try the lobster 
instead," Sara said.  "The crab is really good, but a lot of 
work."

	"I like crab," Nagayama said.  "But the whale..."

	Ishiyama started to reach for his wallet, until Rinko 
kicked him in the leg.  His eyes crossed and he stopped 
reaching.

	"It's fine," Tanaka said.  "Why don't we both get 
something small and then we can get one order of whale 
and share it?  As I'm curious myself."

	Nagayama smiled.  "Thank you, Kazuya-kun," she 
said, then reached over and squeezed his hand.  "I'll have 
some mushroom soup and some garlic bread with the 
whale."

	"And I'll have the same with our shared order," 
Tanaka said.

	He and Nagayama now made giggly and cooing 
smiles and hand-squeezes at each other.  Shin wanted to set 
himself on fire.

	"Three seperate checks?" Sara asked.

	"Yes," Saeko said.  

	"Okay!  I'll place your order."  Sara raced off.

	"She's good," Tanaka said, ceasing to be cuddly.

	"Oh, she's the best after me.  Tsukamoto's little sis is 
pretty good too, but a waitress needs a little more spunk," 
Saeko said.  "Tsukamoto, on the other hand, she's a giant 
disaster.  Fortunately, she doesn't get too many hours."

	"She's so kind and friendly, though," Rinko said.

	"And dumb as rocks," Saeko said.  "Yakumo had 
better hope she wins the big contest, so she can get 
Sawachika to pay for all the damages Tsukamoto causes."

	"Isn't she dating Harima?" Nagayama asked.  "Why 
are she and Harima both trying to win Sawachika's hand?"

	"I think it's probably safer for all of us if we just 
exploit the whole thing to make personal profit," Saeko 
said.  "Never get between people fighting over love."

	"I've been getting good tips at the hobby store," Shin 
said.  For which he was now grateful.  

	"I...wait, you're getting tips?" Saeko asked in surprise.

	"I'm not half as good as the girls on the day shift, but I 
know how to help people and people are grateful when 
helped well," Shin said.  "Knowledge is power and power 
is time and time is money.  Or something like that."

	Saeko's eyes glinted.  "Well, well," she said 
thoughtfully.  

	Soon their food came and they got down to eating.

**********

	Yoshidayama looked over his shoulder on the train, 
but he couldn't see anyone he knew.  He whispered to 
Tomo, "Is it possible someone you know is following us?"

	"Oh, they're just jealous," Tomo said.  "But Yukari-
sensei is grounded, and I can take any of the others."

	"Guys or girls?"

	"I can take ANYONE," she said confidently, patting 
his hand.  "Don't worry, I'll protect you from their jealousy.  
Yomi's getting so fat she won't fit through the exit doors, 
anyway."

	"I am...," a woman's voice began, then was suddenly 
muffled.

	Someone else snickered; Yoshidayama thought the 
woman's snicker was kind of familiar.

	But he still didn't spot anyone as they arrived, left the 
train, and headed to get food.  "You, uh, got any 
preferences?  Some people in my class are running a 
restaurant."

	"Does it have cute guy waiters?" Tomo asked 
hopefully.

	"No, just cute girls," Yoshidayama said.

	"It is DEAD to me," she said firmly.  "Take me to cute 
guy waiter land."

	He thought desperately.  "Well, okay, I know one 
waiter you might think is cute."

	They soon ended up at a Chinese restaurant.  Asou 
greeted them.  "Hello, Yoshidayama," he said.  He looked 
curiously at Tomo.  "You look sort of familiar."

	"Hmm, you too," she said.  "And cute.  Table for two, 
please, unless you want to join us, make it a double date."

	"..."

	Yoshidayama fought the urge to laugh.  "He has a 
girlfriend."

	"I'm clearly her superior, though," Tomo said.  "Look 
at these nice silk gloves and my tiara.  I bet she doesn't 
have anything this nice."

	"She can set people on fire with God's power," Asou 
said.

	Tomo laughed.  "Sure she can.  Well, table for two, 
then."

	They were seated, and then Suga came to serve them 
as they read the menus.  "Would you like a drink?" he 
asked.

	"You trying to pick me up, hmm?" Tomo said. She 
studied him.  "Not bad, not bad at all."

	"..."  Suga stared mindlessly.

	"He has a girlfriend too," Yoshidayama said.

	"Dammit, I need men who are NOT attached," Tomo 
said.

	"Trust me, you don't want the guys I know who are 
not attached," Yoshidayama said.  

	"Ugh," Tomo said, then said, "Something with alcohol 
in it."

	"Beer for the lady," Suga said.

	Tomo smiled a little at that.

	"And me too," Yoshidayama said.

	"Two beers.  Coming right up."  Suga headed off and 
they began trying to figure out what to order.

**********	

	"No entry for spies," Asou said to those gathered at 
the door.

	"But...it's for their own good," Sagano said.

	Yomi nodded.

	"See, I told you, Megumi-chan," Yuuki said.  "Let's go 
do something else; I'm sure Yoshidayama-san will be fine."

	"This cannot be tolerated," Kagura said.

	"They're paying, you're parasites.  OUT," Asou said 
firmly.

	"But...," Sagano said.

	Fuyuki and Yuuki each took an arm.  "Come on." 
They dragged her off out of sight.  

	"Scoot," Asou said to Yomi.  "There will be no 
whacky romantic hijinx on my shift."  He pointed with one 
arm.

	"But...," Yomi protested.

	Kagura dragged her off.  "We can wait for them to 
leave, then follow them again."

	Yomi grumbled.  Unfortunately, plan A, to get her 
own date, had fallen through due to too short of notice.  So 
she was reduced to this.  Only her pride kept her from just 
going home.  

	She let Kagura lead her away, for now.

************

	Ishiyama dug in his wallet to get out the money for the 
dinner, but Rinko slapped down the cash while he was still 
counting.  "I'll cover it," she said.

	"But...," he began.

	"It's fine, you paid for my ticket already; it's the least I 
could do," Rinko said firmly.

	"You're very generous," Ishiyama said.  

	"You paid for everything last time; that's hardly fair," 
Rinko said.  "I don't want to just leech off you."

	Shin paid out his and Saeko's share.  "Did you enjoy 
the meal?" he asked her.

	She smiled brightly.  "It's so nice to have a date with a 
fine guy like you."

	His hormones overwhelmed his brain and he smiled 
goofily while his and Ishiyama's money took wing and flew 
away into Sara's hands.

	Tanaka started to put down money, but Nagayama 
now slid out 3000 yen.  "Let me help," she said softly.

	"You don't have to," Tanaka said.

	"I don't mind," she said.  "You normally pay for 
everything."

	Cooing and snuggling inevitably followed.

	Sara collected the money and noted they'd all tipped 
well.  "Have fun on the rest of your date!," she said.

	"The basketball game is going to be GREAT," Tanaka 
said.  

	Nagayama looked less enthused, but still smiled a 
little.

	She waved as they headed out.

***********

	"You can't have it," Yukari said, waving the slices of 
white bread in Umino's face.

	"Uh, what?" He asked in confusion.

	Yukari did the bread-taunting dance, while Nyamo 
grimaced and shook her head.  "Whatever, Yukari.  You 
ready for some poker?"

	"I'm ready to GET RICH," Yukari proclaimed.  That 
way she could afford to move out, dammit.

************

	After Tomo ate enough food for three people, 
Yoshidayama was exceedingly glad that he'd chosen a 
cheap chinese food place.  Fortunately, his mom had given 
him a good solid hit of money to spend.

	They were walking arm in arm towards the movie 
theatre.  Really, things hadn't been too bad so far, he 
thought.  Not that he knew much of dating, but hey, this 
wasn't all bad.  Even if he'd rather be with Jenny.

	"Hey, manga!" Tomo said, pointing to the store they 
were in front of.

	People were staring at them; it was the Video Club's 
store.  Yoshidayama cursed himself.  "Yes, manga."

	"You must buy me some."

	"On a date?" he asked in confusion.

	She grew to 300 feet tall.  "This is our date, BUY ME 
MANGA."

	"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled, going inside with her.  

	Imadori looked at the two of them as they browsed, 
watching Tomo warily.  She could be trouble, he knew.

	Buddha, however, strode over to assist.  While 
Yoshidayama watched nervously, he showed Tomo around 
as she picked out eight volumes of manga she wanted.  
Wincing, Yoshidayama paid for it all, glad for an employee 
discount.  At least they aren't making fun of me, he 
thought.

	"Don't worry," Imadori said.  "We'll wait until 
tomorrow to mock you, instead of in front of your date," he 
whispered to Yoshidayama.

	Yoshidayama winced, but Tomo beamed as they 
walked out, arm-in-arm.  "That guy is one of the fiancee 
candidates, right?" Tomo asked once they left.

	"Yes," Yoshidayama said.  "The store is the second 
contest round."

	"Good, they'll drive each other insane, so I need him 
to win, and so my buying the manga here will help that," 
Tomo said.

	"..."  HER buying the manga, he thought.  "I don't 
have a lot more money," he warned her.  "Just hardly 
enough for the movie."

	She frowned.  "I told you to bring lots of money."

	"It just all went into the manga!" Yoshidayama 
protested.  "That just ate 4000 yen, you know!"

	"And I'm worth EVERY PENNY!," Tomo 
pronounced, thrusting a regal hand into the air and posing.

	A bottle bounced off her head.  "Oww!"

	They both turned, but the hurler was gone, though 
there was a general feeling they both had of being stalked 
again.

	Yoshidayama restrained Tomo from running off back 
the way they came.  "Forget it, we have to get to the movie 
or we'll miss it."

	"What are we going to see, anyway?"

	"Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3:  Leatherface Sautees 
Freddy and Jason in a Light White Wine Sauce," 
Yoshidayama said.  If he had to take her out, he'd pick a 
movie HE liked, dammit.

	"Kick ass!," she said, pumping her fist in the air.  "I 
think you're supposed to use red wine with serial killers, 
though," she said knowingly.

	"..."

	She tugged him into high speed as they headed for the 
movie theatre.

*************

	Ishiyama was greatly enjoying the basketball game, 
though Rinko seemed a little distracted.  Nagayama was 
holding Tanaka's hand, but was also reading a book instead 
of paying attention.  Shin had apparently forgotten his 
worries while Saeko munched on all the snacks she'd 
extorted from him.  Unlike the other ladies, she was fully 
engaged in the game, though, shouting for the home team 
and periodically yelling insults at their rivals.

	"You okay?" he asked Rinko.

	"I'm fine," she said.  "Just worrying about what Tomo 
is doing to poor Yoshidayama."  She sighed.

	"Well," he said, then leaned over and whispered, 
"There's always next weekend.  You can't give up yet."

	Rinko's eyes ignited with fire.  "You're right," she 
whispered back fervently.  "It's not over yet."  She smiled 
at him.  "You're always so encouraging to me," she 
whispered, then leaned up and kissed his cheek.  "Thank 
you."

	"You're welcome," he whispered back.  Things are 
going well, he thought.  I just hope my luck keeps up.

	She settled down to watching the game, and was soon 
shouting alongside Saeko.

**************

	Yomi watched Yoshidayama and Tomo shout at the 
movie screen and wave their fists in the air, and wanted to 
scream.  How could anyone have fun on a date with Tomo?  
How could Tomo get a date, even with this idiot?  

	Plus, all this cannibalism was making her hungry, but 
that would break her diet.  She couldn't afford that.

	She tried throwing popcorn at their heads again, but it 
fell short, landing on a group of people in black behind 
Tomo and Yoshidayama.

	"No, no, like this," Kagura said, demonstrating how to 
throw with a crumpled soda cup which she accurately 
hurled, whacking Yoshidayama in the back of the head.  
However, his hair shielded him, bouncing it also onto the 
folk in black.

	Five angry goths now rose up and began to stalk up 
the aisle towards Yomi and Kagura's position.  Kagura rose 
up to her feet, blocking their advance.  "What?" she 
demanded.

	One of them now dumped a bucket of hot, sticky 
buttered popcorn over Kagura's head.  "THIS is how you 
throw popcorn."

	Another threw their soda at her; she tried to parry it 
and it exploded all over her.  "And this is how you throw 
soda."

	"And this is how you kill goths!" Kagura said and 
began beating them all down by herself.

	Tomo and Yoshidayama were too busy watching 
Leatherface baste Jason in barbeque sauce, then begin to 
grill him over an open fire to notice the brawl in progress.  
Tomo said, "Dammit, you don't use barbeque sauce on 
supernatural serial killers!  I was promised madmen in a 
white wine sauce and now they're ripping us off!  They'll 
probably try to use ranch dressing on Freddy!  I DEMAND 
A REFUND!"

	"You can't get a refund; I paid for it," Yoshidayama 
said.  "But I agree, the title's a big old lie.  They baked 
Michael Myers in orange sauce.  That's for pork, isn't it?"

	"Well, humans are 'long pork'," Tomo said.  "So it 
might be appropriate."

	Yomi caught the candy flung at her, then ate it.  Pissed 
off they'd _made_ her break her diet, she launched a flying 
kick off the back of a seat at one of the goths, crashing into 
other customers, who joined the fray.

	"Hmm, true.  Depends partly on what his mask is 
made of," Yoshidayama said.

	"Probably not edible fibers," Tomo said.  "Trust me, 
masks taste pretty nasty."

	Kagura seized a fan who had come to the showing in a 
Jason outfit, whacked him with the flat of his fake cleaver, 
then grabbed him, leaped up, and body-slammed him into a 
'Freddy'.  

	The brawl and the movie continued until everyone was 
unconscious except Tomo and Yoshidayama, who sat in the 
front, continuing their running commentary on the movie.

	When they rose, they saw the legions of knocked out 
people and even Tomo stared.  "Man, people really do fall 
asleep easily in movies these days," Tomo said.

	"Well, it really wasn't as great as I thought it would be, 
but watching it with you was fun," he said.  He was kind of 
surprised, but really, she was a good person to watch a 
horror movie with.  If they went out again, maybe they 
could try 'The Grudge 5:  Still Resentful After All These 
Years'.  

	She smiled broadly, and squeezed his hand.  A little 
painfully.  "Lead me on, date."

	So they headed on out of the theatre.

**********
	
	Post-game, the three couples had scattered to head 
home.  Rinko walked quietly alongside Ishiyama under the 
starry sky.  He wanted to hold her hand, but wasn't sure 
how she'd take it.  She seemed pretty affectionate, but she 
was still thinking in terms of chasing Yoshidayama.  He 
had to be very careful.

	"In the future, we split the cost, okay?" Rinko said 
suddenly.

	Ishiyama jumped at the sudden speech.  "What?"

	"You know, if the group goes to a game or a movie or 
dinner or whatever," Rinko said.  "I'll pay my share."

	"You don't have to," he said.

	"I have to," she said, stopping and taking his right 
hand with both of hers.  "You're too kind to me, and I can't 
stop myself taking advantage of that."  She sounded guilty.  
"You already took my punishment for me and..."  She was 
shaking a little now.  "What they did to you was horrible," 
she said angrily.  "Especially showing that tape."

	"It's okay," he said.  "I dunno if you would have 
survived some of that stuff, though the ballet outfit would 
have looked a lot better on you than me.  But Mr. 
Ichijou...damn, he's strong."

	Rinko grimaced, forming her hands into fists and 
shaking them, then began angrily kicking a tree.  The tree 
didn't seem to care, or even to notice much, shaking very 
gently.

	"It's okay," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders.

	"It is NOT okay," she said firmly.  "You deserve 
better."

	"You flatter me," he said as they reached the front 
yard of her house.

	"It's not flattery if it's true," she said.  She smiled at 
him.  "I'm glad I've gotten to know you better since the 
break."  She took both his hands.  "Even if everyone now 
thinks we're dating.  And now this other woman is after 
Yoshi-kun.  And..."  She winced, then shook her head.  
"But that's not your fault.  You've been everything I could 
ask for in a friend.  More, really," she said.

	"You've been a good friend to me too," he said 
warmly.  

	"I've been a leech," she said a little angrily.  "But I'm 
going to do my best to do more for you too."  She pulled 
him in close, then went up on her toes and kissed his cheek, 
then turned and presented hers to him; nervously, he kissed 
her cheek.  "I've got to go to bed," she yawned.  "But I'll 
see you tomorrow for our study group, right?"

	"Right," he said smiling.  

	She smiled back, then turned and ran inside her house.

	He walked off, whistling a tune completely wrong, 
though he intended it to be Love Will Find A Way.

**************    
	
	Yoshidayama looked around in confusion.  Dammit, 
where am I, he asked himself.  They'd wandered into some 
sort of place with a bunch of hotels.  

	Tomo's eyes lit up, and she looked at him.  "You sly 
dog, you," she said, grinning.

	"What?" he asked in confusion.  These hotels looked 
kind of...oh, shit, it's a bunch of love hotels, he thought.

	"Sweet, after all those stories from Nyamo-sensei and 
Yukari-sensei, I always wanted to try one of these!," she 
said enthusiastically.

	"..."

	She looked around.  "I can't tell which one is best.  
Which one are we going to, Yoshidayama-san?"

	"I...uh..."  He began to laugh nervously.  She did have 
a nice body, if not quite as lush as he liked.  But did she 
really...and if she did, could he actually PAY for it?

	Hmm, playing cards were good... "Let's try 'One Night 
in Vegas'," he said.

	"Sweet!  I love to gamble!," Tomo said.  "Lead me 
on!"

*************

	Shin stood nervously in the front yard of Saeko's 
house.  "I hope you had a good time," he said.  Because I 
can't afford to spend that much money on misery, he 
thought.

	"I had a great time," she said, taking his hand and 
squeezing it.  "Maybe we can go out again once you get 
paid."

	He laughed nervously.  "That would be great."

	She seemed to do math in her head, then raised his 
hand up and held it to her cheek for a moment, then 
lowered it and let go.  "See you on Monday," she said 
softly.

	He shifted nervously on his feet.

	And then the front door opened and Saeko's father 
exploded out.  "Keeping my daughter out this late?  I bet 
you tried to take her to some skanky love hotel!  I ought to 
bust you a good one!" he shouted to the heavens.

	"Daddy, he's already spent all his money on me," 
Saeko said.

	Saeko's father deflated.  "Oh."

	"Just because that worked on my sister's dates doesn't 
mean it works with mine," Saeko said, waggling a finger.  
"I'm sorry, Shin-san, Daddy keeps trying to muscle in on 
my territory."

	Her father shuffled his feet.  "We have to save up for 
your college education, honey."

	She kissed her father's cheek.  "I know, Daddy.  And I 
love you.  But please don't try to extort my dates for money 
all the time.  I know what I'm doing."

	He sighed.  "Yes, dear."

	I am so totally fucked, Shin thought.  "Well, it's...nice 
meeting you, sir."

	"It's nice meeting you," Saeko's father said, shaking 
his hand firmly.

	"Give him back his ring, Daddy," Saeko said firmly.

	"But..."  Saeko's father sighed and handed it back 
over.  

	"Now, go to bed, Daddy, I'll be in in just a minute," 
Saeko said.

	"But..."

	"Mommy will get cold and start trying to charge you a 
heating bill, Daddy."

	"Good point."  He ran off quickly.

	"I'm sorry, Daddy grew up very poor and hasn't 
overcome all his bad habits."  Saeko sighed.  "Please don't 
hold it against him."

	"Okay," Shin mumbled.

	She clasped his hand with both of hers, passing the 
ring back to him at the same time, then held his hand 
warmly for a few seconds.  "I had a good time and you 
were a really good sport.  Thanks!  See you Monday!"

	Then she headed off inside, leaving him to head home, 
bemused with his own life.

	He only got about 100 feet before Mrs. Takano 
emerged from the shadows, a gun in each hand.

	He dropped to his knees.  "Don't kill me!" he said 
desperately.

	She levelled the guns at him.  "You skipped work for a 
date."

	"I'll work double later!  Don't kill me!"  He shivered in 
terror.  I should have listened to Imadori, he thought.

	"Well, since you did show a fine young lady a good 
time and behaved as a gentleman, which I didn't think you 
capable of, I will excuse you this time," she said, flicking 
the guns up into the sleeves of her trenchcoat.

	"Thank you," he said, breathing hard.

	"You can come out of hiding, Saeko-san," Mrs. 
Takano said.

	Saeko stepped out of the bushes holding a pair of 2 
foot long blades.  "Who are you?" she demanded.

	"I'm Shin's boss," Mrs. Takano said.  "You can put 
away the short swords."

	Flick, flick, vanish.  Saeko said, "Money isn't 
everything, you know."

	The universe wobbled as irony levels threatened to 
crack it wide open.

	"I know," Mrs. Takano said, smiling a little.  "Family 
and love and duty have their place as well.  But my work is 
done here.  Shin, come in tomorrow and work an extra 
shift."

	"Yes, ma'am," he said firmly.

	"Were you following us the whole time?" Saeko 
asked.

	"From the restaurant on," Mrs. Takano said as she 
ambled away.

	"Damn, I only spotted you at the arena," Saeko said.

	"You have much potential," Mrs. Takano said.  "But 
talent only goes so far without proper training.  Be seeing 
you."  And then she vanished into the shadows.

	"You okay?" Saeko asked Shin.

	He got up.  "I'm fine, just embarrassed."

	She punched his arm lightly.  "Skipping work means 
reduced income, you know.  But I had fun.  Next time, 
though, schedule around the date."

	"Okay," he mumbled.

	"See you!" And then she was gone.

	Shin headed home, wondering when his life had 
gotten this weird.

*************

	"Oh yes...yes...YEEESSSS....SEVEN COME 
ELEVEN!", Sagano shouted to the heavens as she came.

	Yuuki paused in the middle of kissing Sagano's left 
breast.  "What?"

	Fuyuki pulled his face up from her groin.  "Err?"  He 
began wiping his face with a tissue.

	"What's the point of having naughty three-way sex in a 
Vegas-themed love hotel if you don't use gambling 
metaphors?" Sagano asked.

	The place was well equipped with a small wetbar, 
three slot machines, a very nice bed with dice and card 
themed sheets and wallpaper showing various poker hands.  
It also had a karaoke machine in the corner, which Sagano 
was planning to exploit the hell out of once she was too 
tired for more loving.

	The door rattled and they all froze up.  

	"The key doesn't work," they heard Tomo say.

	"Wait, this is the Three of A Kind suite, see?," 
Yoshidayama said, voice shaking.  "We got the Pair, Aces 
High, suite, which is just down there."

	"I wanted the Queens High suite, dammit," Tomo said.

	"It's reserved for lesbians, according to the chart they 
had at check-in," Yoshidayama said.

	Sagano began to vibrate.  "She's going to suck out his 
life force through evil sex!"

	I cannot win for losing, Fuyuki thought.  "Let them 
live their own life."

	"But they...," Sagano began.

	"If he likes her, then that's his problem," Yuuki said 
firmly.

	"But..."

	"Don't you want to help me make love to Yuuki?" 
Fuyuki asked.  "Or do I get her sweet love all to myself?"

	"I...but...they...dammit," Sagano said.  "You're both 
going to sing my favorite Pet Shop Boys songs with me 
after this."

	Fuyuki cringed, but nodded.  "That's fine."

	Yuuki stretched.  "Move over, dear Megumi, I'm 
coming in."

	They soon forgot all about Yoshidayama and Tomo.

************	

	It was getting late and the boy still hadn't tried to 
sneak in.  Nyamo was trying to decide whether to stay or to 
give up and go home with Umino.  

	Then she saw a pair of eyes peering in the window to 
Yukari's bedroom.  She sighed.  The boy's devotion was 
impressive, but the last thing Yukari needed was someone 
who revelled in her bad qualities.

	She nudged Umino, who claimed to be going to the 
bathroom.  Instead, he slipped outside, and soon, there was 
a sound of beatings coming through the window.

	"What the hell is that?" Yukari asked.

	"Dogs," Nyamo said.

	"You said that last weekend too," Yukari said.

	"Neighborhood dogs."

	"Oh, that makes sense," Yukari said, then sighed.  "I 
wish Kyousuke was here."

	"I'm sure he's thinking of you," Nyamo said.

	Yukari flopped back dreamily and Nyamo felt a little 
guilty.  "I miss him hugely."

	"Well, he doesn't seem to miss you enough to stop 
trying to get Sawachika to marry him," Nyamo pointed out.

	"Hey, we'll need a sugar-momma," Yukari said.  "I 
approve of his efforts."

	"..."

	"I'm not blind, you know," she said, sitting up.  "But at 
our age, you take what you can get.  Like your bread-
smothering boyfriend."

	"He does not smother people with bread!," Nyamo 
protested.

	"Uh huh."

	There was just no fighting Yukari, Nyamo had learned 
long ago.
	
************

	o/~ 	I know just how to whisper,
 		And I know just how to cry;
 		I know just where to find the answers;
And I know just how to lie.  o/~

	Tomo stood on the bed singing enthusiastically as 
Yoshidayama sat on the edge of it, listening to her sing.  
She was a fair singer, and her enthusiasm was a little 
infectious, even if it wasn't his kind of music.

o/~ 	I know just how to fake it,
 	And I know just how to scheme;
 	I know just when to face the truth,
 	And then I know just when to dream. o/~ 	

	He wondered if she actually realized what love hotels 
are for, or if she was just thinking of this place as a kind of 
up-scale karaoke bar.  He was also wondering how the hell 
he was going to pay for it all.

	He poured himself a rum and coke and listened to her 
sing until the song finished.  "Your turn!" she said.

	He began paging through the song selection until he 
hit something he thought appropriate.

o/~ 	The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling
 	Way down in the valley tonight
	There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye
	And a blade shining oh so bright
	There's evil in the air and theres thunder in the sky
	And a killer's on the bloodshot streets
	And down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising
	Oh I swear I saw a young boy
	Down in the gutter
	He was starting to foam in the heat o/~ 

Tomo shouted enthusiastically and grabbed the other 
microphone, singing along with him.  

o/~ 	Oh baby youre the only thing in this whole world
 	Thats pure and good and right
	And wherever you are and wherever you go
	Theres always gonna be some light
	But I gotta get out
	I gotta break it out now
	Before the final crack of dawn
	So we gotta make the most of our one night together
	When its over you know
	We'll both be so alone  o/~ 

As they moved into the third verse, they began singing loud 
enough to wake the dead.  

o/~ 	Like a bat out of hell
 	I'll be gone when the morning comes
 	When the night is over
	Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone gone gone
 	Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning  
 	comes
	When the day is done
	And the sun goes down
	And the moonlight's shining through
	Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven
	I'll come crawling on back to you
 
Tomo suddenly turned and pounced on Yoshidayama, 
knocking him back onto the bed and kissing him 
frenetically.  The music played on while they flailed about 
on the bed, kissing and grabbing.

	The making out got them both down to their 
underwear, at which point, Tomo suddenly froze up and 
mumbled something.

	"What?" Yoshidayama asked, now too far gone in 
hormones to want to stop.

	"I...uh...nothing," she mumbled, then started kissing.  
Admitting she didn't actually know what to do next was not 
something her pride would let her do.  Not admitting it 
coherently.  But surely he would know what to do, right?

	Yoshidayama prayed you could trust the accuracy of 
porn, as otherwise, he didn't know what to do next.  But 
surely it couldn't all be fake, right?

	Porn would never lie to me; that was his mantra now.

***********

	"You sure those things will work?" Magical Lyrical 
Warrior Condiment asked her boyfriend, who was now 
dressed as Green Arrow and had a quiver full of trick 
arrows.

	"Well, we won't know until we test them," he said.

	She sighed.  "Still no ancient evils to fight.  I hope 
they're not all ravaging Hawaii in my absence."

	"Hmm, the thought hits me that typically, either the 
heroine stumbles into some trap in her civilian ID or else a 
friend stumbles into it, so maybe we should be following 
one of your friends around, or else just go on a regular date 
and be ready to fight," Tougo said.

	"I should have thought to get Mercury's cell phone 
number or email or something," Magical Lyrical Warrior 
Condiment said.  "She could magically search out the Tiki 
Gods."

	"Hmm, also, we should look for any Tiki-themed 
places here to scout out.  And follow Minako, who I 
suspect buys cursed objects fairly regularly," Tougo said.

	All good ideas.  To carry out another night.  It was 
getting late.  "Let's go find somewhere to make out."

	"I approve that plan," he said, taking her arm and 
leading her off on the search.

***********

	Yoshidayama looked dubiously at the small bottle of 
grape jelly which Tomo had fished out of a pocket in her 
dress.  "Are you sure this is the right stuff?"

	Of course she wasn't.  But she said, "I am absolutely, 
one hundred percent certain it is the right stuff from when 
Nyamo-sensei was talking about the stuff she did with her 
fourth boyfriend.  She wasn't THAT drunk," Tomo said.  
"Come on, we don't have all day."

	Yoshidayama dimly remembered some kind of jelly 
used in some sex...as a...lubricant.  That was the word.  He 
opened it and touched it with a finger, then licked it off the 
finger.  Tomo's eyes crossed when he did this.  "Hmm, 
tasty," he said.

	"You're not supposed to eat it YET," Tomo said.  

	Yoshidayama breathed nervously.  "Okay, umm...open 
up."

	Tomo did so, and Yoshidayama leaned forward, only 
to pause.  "Uh...someone's plugged you up."

	"Say what?" Tomo said.  

	"Yeah, it's like some kind of chastity plug or 
something," Yoshidayama said.

	"It...oh, it's my tampon," Tomo said, now removing it 
and tossing it into the garbage.  "Don't worry, I'm pretty 
sure I'm not due for another week, but I can be a little 
irregular at times."

	Yoshidayama felt his brain melting.  This actually 
made action without thought easier, though.  He began 
spreading the grape jelly around with his fingers, which 
was not made any easier by Tomo laughing hysterically, 
squirming, and wiggling about.  His common sense kept 
threatening to reassert itself, but it was weak from a 
lifetime of neglect and he was at the age where hormones 
rule.

	"You gotta put it on you too, just to be sure," Tomo 
managed to say.

	This must be one of those spermicide things, 
Yoshidayama decided, as his brain tried to make some sort 
of sense out of what was going on.

	"Here, let me help," she said, applying it liberally 
around his groin.  It felt very good as she touched him, but 
at the same time, he wondered how hard it was going to be 
to get it off afterwards.  It was rather sticky.  And the 
sheets...well, that was already calculated into the bill, right?  
RIGHT?

	"Okay, now you have to work it into the skin to make 
it all silky and smooth," Tomo said.

	"You have GOT to be kidding me," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"I am NEVER wrong," Tomo said firmly.

	Once she started working on trying to rub it into his 
skin, he quickly decided she must know SOMETHING, as 
it felt really good.  

	He began fumbling about, wishing there had been 
more closeups in the stuff he'd watched; he wasn't sure 
what was what or where he needed to be touching or if he 
was using the right hole.  The way Tomo kept flailing 
around and occassionally punching him 'accidentally' made 
him think he must be at least somewhat right, though.

	The stuff wasn't showing much sign of skin 
transformation, though.  He could tell he was running out 
of time, though.  "Can't...hold it...in...much longer..."  He 
had enough experiencing with jacking off to know that, 
anyway.  

	"Feels...so...good...," Tomo moaned.  "Don't 
stop...don't stop...deeper..."

	"But I'm gonna blow!," he moaned at her touches.

	"THINK OF ENGLAND!," she shouted.

	For a few seconds this worked, as he was so confused 
by it that his body didn't even notice Tomo's continued 
efforts to 'prepare' him.  Also, the weird smells were getting 
stronger now.  

	"It has to go in..." he mumbled.  "Don't know how to 
hold back..."  It always seemed so easier to fire when you 
wanted to in the movies, dammit.

	"But you haven't even kissed my breasts yet!  We're 
still at phase one!," she moaned, continuing to stroke him 
sloppily through the layer of grape jelly.

	"Dammit, you didn't say anything about your breasts!"  
Though he did remember that from porn.  "I think we 
missed a couple of steps..."

	"Do you know what a vibrator is?  It sounded like 
we'd need one, but I didn't know where to buy one," Tomo 
said in between moans.

	"You mean a tuning fork?  What the hell would we 
use a tuning fork for?" Yoshidayama asked in confusion.

	"I don't know, but apparently it feels good inside a 
woman," Tomo mumbled, groaning with pleasure.

 	"It's...coming..." Yoshidyama moaned loudly.  

	"Wait, I bet I can block it with my thumb...," Tomo 
said, clamping her hand around his manhood and trying to 
block the little hole at the end with her thumb.  

	The grip aroused him more and he could hardly think 
as his body tried to fire off while he fumbled around inside 
Tomo with grape jelly.  They both made hideous incoherent 
noises which cannot easily be described.

	"Aaargh, I'm going to explode!" Yoshidayama said, 
fumbling about.  His fingers inside her suddenly slid 
around and whacked into something stubby.  "Shit!"
	
	Tomo gave a screeching howl which nearly rendered 
Yoshidayama deaf and completely lost her grip on his cock.  
He suddenly toppled backwards and fired off into the air, 
launching his fluids onto the bedsheets and the nearby 
clock.  He nearly fell off the bed entirely as his fingers slid 
out of Tomo's interior and his efforts to grab at her leg were 
thwarted by the grape jelly.

	Only his hair saved him, as it hit the floor, holding his 
head and upper body up.  He was never a man to skimp on 
the hair gel.

	"Awesome," Tomo said.  "Let's try it again!"

**********	

	"We need...," Sagano began as Yuuki and Fuyuki 
dragged her down the street.

	"We need to get home before our parents start sending 
out the police to find us," Fuyuki said.  "Or figure out what 
we did."

	"It's a good thing our suite had a shower," Yuuki 
mumbled.

	"I can't...hmm, they were still at it...which means 
they'll be late and killed by Uncle Takino...My work is 
done," Sagano said, sounding satisfied.

	It would not be a big loss, Yuuki thought.

*************

	The next morning, the smell woke up Yoshidayama, 
who had a naked Tomo twined around him. He dimly 
remembered taking a shower, then collapsing from 
exhaustion.  He looked at the clock, but couldn't read it 
very well.  Time was....nine AM.  He'd been supposed to 
have Tomo home by eleven and the room they were 
in...had only been paid through midnight...crap.

	"Better wake up," he said to her softly.

	Her response was to knock him out in her sleep.

	An hour later, he got woken up by her shaking him.  
"Get up, I'm hungry," she said, then kissed him firmly.  
"That was awesome.  Yomi's gonna die of jealousy."

	"Your dad is going to kill us," Yoshidayama 
mumbled, staggering to his feet.

	"Naah, he'll just kill you; I'm his dear daughter who 
can do no wrong," Tomo said.

	Yoshidayama grumbled.

	"It was worth it, though, right?" she asked teasingly.

	He mumbled something incoherent.

	"Of course it was," she said, then kissed him again.  
"Hmm, next time, I have to remember the tuning fork and a 
change of clothes."

	Once they got dressed, they went down to the desk to 
check out.  The clerk looked at them.  "Man, your parents 
are going to crucify you," the short-haired college student 
said.  "Hmm, hourly rate, 2500 an hour, you paid through 
midnight, so that's going to be...25,000 yen."

	Yoshidayama had 1000 yen left.  "I...uh..."

	"Hmm, we may have to sell your manly body on the 
streets to pay for this," Tomo said thoughtfully.

	"..."

	"There's an all-night package deal, but you have to 
choose it when you arrive, sorry.  Fortunately, you're in 
luck; you can work off your debt helping to clean up 
everything in time for the evening rush."  He did some 
math.  "At 1000 yen an hour, you can pay off your debt in 
12 hours of work each, and have some bus money 
afterwards."

	"But we'd be here until 10 PM," Yoshidayama 
mumbled.

	"Well, we could call your parents, see if they..."

	"GIVE US A MOP NOW," Yoshidayama said.

	"Do we get to keep anything people left behind?" 
Tomo asked.

	"Yeah, they never come back for it and if they do, we 
claim someone else clearly took it," the guy said.

	"PLUNDER TIME!," Tomo said.  "Let's get 
cracking!"
	
**********

	Saturday afternoon, Harima was starting to feel a little 
stir crazy.  He liked working with cycles, but he had so 
much he needed to do and it felt like his days had shrunk to 
only about 8 hours long to do it in.  

	Thus it was a relief when Akira paged him over his 
headset.  "Cyclepunks in the parking lot; they're about to 
strew a lot of broken glass and caltrops everywhere."

	Harima grinned; he could use some stress relief.

	He and Haruka quickly beat the entire gang into the 
ground; too quickly; it was kind of disappointing, really.  
"Man, these guys suck," Harima said.

	"Yeah, I was just getting up to speed and the fight 
ended," Haruka said.

	"Probably means this was just a probe to test our 
defenses.  They may try again with more people, later," 
Akira said.

	Harima hoped so; he could use the workout.

***********

	"Doesn't Yakumo normally leave you a meal?" Eri 
asked Tenma; she was hanging out with Tenma and 
Karasuma at Tenma's; Mikoto and Hanai were off with 
Miki and Masahiro on a date, and Akira and Nara were 
working at the cycle shop.  

	"She's been so busy, she doesn't always remember," 
Tenma said.  "But it's okay.  I usually just wait for her to 
bring home leftovers and eat those."

	Eri frowned.  "Well, I'll cook us all something, then," 
she said.  "You shouldn't have to live on leftovers."

	"It's okay," Tenma said.  "Yakumo-chan is working 
really hard.  And I weigh too much anyway."

	Eri shook her head.  "I will make us food."  Little Miss 
Perfect letting her sister starve, she thought.  That's not like 
her.  For a moment, she felt worried, then told herself it 
was obvious just Yakumo being selfish and not worrying 
about her sister in her desire to win.

	Even if it didn't really ring true.  What was going on?

	She frowned at herself, then shook her head and went 
to go cook.  

*************

	When Harima got off work, there still hadn't been any 
sabotage, which made him nervous.  "They never came 
back."

	"Could be intended to make us think we won," Akira 
siad.  "I think I'm going to camp out here tonight, just in 
case."

	Harima frowned.  "Well, maybe we should all stay; 
they may come back with too many for you to handle."

	"I can ask Michiru to bring us some food," Haruka 
said.  

	Akira looked over at Nara, who said, "I'll stay.  It 
won't be very comfortable, but better than the place getting 
trashed."

	"I'll call for the food, then," Haruka said.  "And have 
her bring us some futons."

	"Sounds good to me," Harima said.

****************

	Yakumo got home from work with Sara and Asou 
tagging along; Asou had come to pick up Sara, then had 
agreed to walk Yakumo home since Harima couldn't come 
for her.  So she'd invited them to come in a while.

	The strange smell of spices and shrimp nearly took 
down Sara at the door, but Asou and Yakumo soldiered on 
to find Karasuma, Tenma, and Eri knocked out with food 
bowls in their hands, a heavily spiced pot of some sort of 
noodles, shrimp, vegetables and tofu on the stove, still 
simmering.  Yakumo turned off the heat, then went around 
to check each of them.

	She had her cheek down by Eri's lips to check for 
breath when Eri woke up and rammed her lips into 
Yakumo's cheek.

	Yakumo's eyes widened, as did Eri's.  Eri fell back 
down.  "What are you doing?"

	Yakumo turned to face Eri, still leaning over her, just 
as Tenma and Karasuma awoke from the yelping.  "Making 
sure you're okay," Yakumo said.

	Tenma turned red.  "It's okay, don't mind me if you 
want to kiss, I'll just kiss my boyfriend!"  Pounce.

 	"I thought I might have to use mouth to mouth," 
Yakumo said, then realized the implications.

	Eri rolled away and sat up frantically.  "I'm not here to 
kiss Yakumo!"

	Tenma said nothing, smooching Karasuma.

	Asou said, "Kiss or not kiss, doesn't matter to me.  
Sara, you can come in, the smell's gone down!"

	Sara now walked in.  "Hello, everyone!"

	"Where is Kenji?," Eri asked.

	"He's afraid of saboteurs, so he and Ten'ou-san and 
Akira-sempai and Nara-sempai are staying at the store," 
Yakumo said.  

	Eri sighed.  She'd been hoping to see him.  "Well, I 
should clean up after the meal I made."

	"I can...," Yakumo began.

	Eri made a curt gesture.  "I can handle cleaning up the 
kitchen."

	"I'll help," Tenma said.

	"No, I'll be fine," Eri said.

	"Really, I don't mind," Yakumo said.

	"I'll be fine," Eri said.  "You all can watch TV or 
something."

	They ended up watching Samurai movies while Eri 
cleaned up; I really need to learn to cook better, Eri 
thought.  There's not always servants around.  Maybe 
Mikoto can teach me.  
	
	When she finished, she came back to find Sara sitting 
by Asou, holding his hand, but with Yakumo's sleeping 
head in Sara's lap.

	So first she wants to kiss me in my sleep and now 
she's snuggled up to Sara, Eri thought.  Typically.  But she 
wasn't jealous.

	At all.

*************
	
	"And then the teacher's skin turned purple and her 
fangs came out and her hands turned into snake heads, her 
arms scaly like a snake body, and she hissed, 
"Nnnnooowww,  yooooouuuu sssssshhhaaaaallll 
perisssshhh!", Haruka said with glee.

	"AAA!!!" Nara said, panicking and hiding his face in 
Akira's chest.  She didn't mind.

	Harima laughed.  "Nara-san loses this round."

	"Man, you two don't scare easy; it's not so much fun 
when only one person squeals," Haruka said, sitting back.

	Nara felt rather embarrassed.  He was going to have to 
scare them, somehow.  "Let me try," he said.

	"If he scares you, you can hide your face in my chest, 
Kenji," Haruka said, grinning.

	"Hah hah," Harima said.  "Ain't no story been written 
that could scare me."

	"Nothing at all," Nara said calmly.  Perceptive people 
would have seen a resemblance to Akira before she 
unleashes doom on someone.  

	Harima was not such a person.

	"NOTHING," Harima said.

	Akira cocked her head curiously, her face as calm as 
Nara's, though she was trying to smile a little to show she 
was happy here with her boyfriend and some guy friends.  
Though she was thinking about trying to invite Eri if the 
security men didn't stop it.

	"Imagine, if you will, a well appointed bedroom," 
Nara said.  "With a nice large bed, a closet full of nice 
clothing, a wetbar, a TV, and lots of other things you might 
want for an evening with your lady."

	Haruka and Harima closed their eyes and imagined.  
Akira kept her eyes open, but idly imagined the room with 
Nara in it.

	Harima found himself with a problem though.  Which 
lady?  His mind kept flickering back and forth between a 
souped up version of Yakumo's room and a plush mansion 
room for Eri.  

	"Now, she raises her hands and tells you she wants to 
try something different," Nara said.

	Harima settled on Eri, as she was more likely to say 
that.

	"Then she turns you into a woman and herself into a 
man and advances on you amorously...," Nara continued, 
starting to grin.

	Haruka said, "Oooh, kinky."

	Harima froze like a deer in the headlights as he 
imagined Otoko-Eri closing in...intent on stealing a kiss 
from her sweet lips and...

	Harima fell over, thunk.

	"You win this time, my love," Akira said, leaning over 
and kissing him softly.  She smiled as she did so.  Good 
job, she thought.  Always find your foe's weakness and use 
it.

****************
	
	Yakumo had finally woken back up, and Tenma had 
casually pushed her over to sit by Eri.  She could feel Eri's 
conflicting emotions and it confused her.  Her thoughts 
were a maelstrom, and Yakumo couldn't see them clearly; 
Eri was not so simple as Kenji.

	"It was nice of you to cook for onee-chan," Yakumo 
finally said.

	"Well, since you didn't leave her anything to eat and 
she can't cook to save her life, I had to step in," Eri said.

	Yakumo felt embarrassed.  "I've been so busy with my 
job, it's hard to keep up with everything."

	"It's fine," Tenma said.  "And I can cook.  It's just not 
very fun to cook by myself."

	"I'm sorry, onee-chan," Yakumo said.

	"It's okay," Tenma said.  "I know you're working hard 
to win the contest!  I'll be okay."

	"You're very noble, onee-chan," Yakumo said.

	Eri shifted crankily.  She wanted a reason to be pissed 
off.  	"I should come cook for you, Tenma.  I could use 
some practice."

	"I'd be very grateful," Yakumo said to Eri.  "I really 
don't have time to cook properly for her before I go work."

	"I'm not...you're welcome," Eri said, a little subdued.  

	"We'll have a lot of fun together!," Tenma said.  

	"I'm sure you will," Yakumo said, smiling.  "Onee-
chan is lots of fun."

	"You should come by our restaurant one night, 
sempai," Sara said.  "We'd love to serve you."

	Asou nodded.  "The food is very good."

	"Well, if Tenma wants to, we can," Eri said.

	"Yes, Yakumo's food is always good, so we should," 
Tenma said, then paused.  "If Yakumo doesn't mind."

	"I don't mind, onee-chan," Yakumo said.  "Please 
come and see us, Eri-sempai."

	"Fine, then, we will," Eri said.  Yakumo could be 
annoying sometimes but she could certainly cook.

**************

	So dead, Yoshidayama thought as he and Tomo 
approached her house late Saturday night, having 
discharged their debt.  He could feel the killing energies 
building.  Surely he would be struck dead by her dad's 
anger before he even reached her house.

	What actually happened was that her father dropped 
out of a tree, beat him unconscious, and threw him into a 
garbage truck all in one fluid motion.

	"Daddy, you didn't even let me kiss him goodnight," 
he heard Tomo say as he slept in a pile of garbage.

	"He kept you out for 24 hours!  Over!  It was time for 
him to die.  You must NEVER go out with him again," her 
father said.

	Awesome, my first love gets to be a forbidden, illicit 
one, she thought.  THIS IS GOING TO ROCK.

**************

	Much later, after Michiru had brought them food and 
supplies, then departed, Akira and Nara had curled up in 
the break room together, while Haruka and Harima crashed 
out in the front of the store to be ready for trouble.

	"Don't go falling asleep and forget to wake me up 
when it's my turn to keep watch," Harima said.  

	"I will gently kiss you awake," Haruka teased.

	Harima grumbled.

	"Seriously, I won't forget.  This is kind of cool, 
anyway."

	"Yeah," Harima said.  "I'm gonna be pissed if I sleep 
here instead of at home for nothing, though."

	Noises began coming from the break room.

	"Or if I have to listen to them," Harima grumbled.

	"Well, I'm sure you've had your situations of making 
them listen," Haruka said.

	Harima thought about all the times they'd woken 
everyone in the camp.  "Yeah, I've disturbed their sleep a 
few times."  Not with sex, but in other ways.

	Haruka perched on the counter, grinning in the 
moonlight.  "With both of your ladies?"

	"All three of us have cost them some sleep," Harima 
said.  

	"At once?" Haruka asked.

	"Yeah, all three of us kept waking up everyone in the 
camp during our trip.  Which came close to getting us beat 
up," Harima said.

	"Well, damn," Haruka said.  "I salute you for 
achieving that dream."  A salute ensued.

	Only now did Harima realize what Haruka thought 
Harima meant.  But he couldn't bring himself to admit to 
being a virgin.  Not to the super-stud.  "Well, I wasn't the 
only one," he said.  "Three of our teachers were doing it 
too."

	"Man, I wish my teachers were like that," Haruka said.  

	"Tani-sensei is kinda like Nara will be in a decade, but 
he's got some hot women," Harima said.  

	"Well, I'd say Nara has a hot woman right now," 
Haruka said, legs dangling back and forth.

	"Hot?  I'd say she's pretty badass, but not really hot," 
Harima said.  "The kind of person you want by your side 
when it's time to go fight hundreds of people, but I can't 
imagine us going on a date."

	"She's got that whole tightly controlled passion thing," 
Haruka said.  "That always makes someone five times as 
sexy as without it."  Haruka looked down at Harima.  "You 
two seem pretty tight."

	"Yeah, it's kind of weird," Harima said.  "A lot of 
people just don't get that a guy and a girl can be really close 
friends without being dating.  I wouldn't have gotten that a 
year ago.  I'm pretty sure she isn't interested in me either, 
but we make a hell of a team."  He paused.  "Why are you 
laughing?"

	Haruka tried to stop laughing.  "Yeah, I wouldn't have 
thought that either, once upon a time."

	Harima stared thoughtfully at the ceiling.  "Really, I 
have a lot more friends than I did a year ago."

	"Me too," Haruka said.  "I always kind of thought I'd 
be alone all my life."

	"Me too," Harima said, staring out the window.

	There was a moment's silence, then Harima said 
softly, "Sometimes, I wonder if it's all a dream, that I'm 
gonna wake up from, just something I made up to make 
myself feel better."

	"Yeah, so do I sometimes," Haruka said.  "I..."  
Haruka fell silent, staring at the stars.

	"You ain't got to talk about it," Harima said.  "We're 
not women, we don't have to yammer about feelings all the 
time."

	Haruka looked down at Harima, then grinned a little.  
"You don't want to hear my tender confessions?"

	"Not tonight," Harima said.  "Though if you have 
anything you really want to talk about...?"

	Haruka looked rather conflicted.  "It's hard to talk 
about without discussing things I promised to keep secret."

	Harima frowned.  "You're not tangled up in some mob 
thing, are you?"

	"No," Haruka said.  "Organized crime is the least of 
my worries."

	"Well, if it is anything I can help with, you just have 
to ask," Harima said.  "And I'll help you out.  Whatever it 
is, whoever we gotta punch."

	Haruka looked down at Harima with a carefully blank 
expression.  "That's a big promise."

	"A man who abandons his friends when they need him 
is no man at all," Harima said.  "I'd never do that."

	"Never is a big word," Haruka said softly.

	"I gotta learn to use big words some time, if I'm gonna 
circulate around people like Kai'ou-san and Eri-san.  And 
it's only got five letters, you know," Harima said.

	"So when are you going to turn into a woman so I can 
seduce you?" Haruka asked cheerfully, though Harima had 
a feeling Haruka was faking it.

	"Same time you turn into a woman so I can seduce 
you," Harima said.  

	"Ooh, a challenge," Haruka said.  There was a bit 
more sincerity in the good cheer.  "Fine, that's settled then."

	"Really," Harima said, not letting himself be 
distracted.  "I can tell something's eating you."

	"Not tonight," Haruka said.  "I can't talk about it 
without giving away other people's secrets."

	"Okay," Harima said, though he was curious now.  "I 
should sleep anyway."

	"Goodnight."

*************
	
	Yoshidayama snuck home, then realized it sounded 
like his mom's weekly movie and beer party was at her 
place this week.  He walked in boldly and grabbed a beer; 
by now he could probably bluff he'd been here all along.

	"Did her father sell you into slavery?" his mother 
asked.

	"Naah, he was just mad we were late," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"Was it worth it?" she asked.

	"Yeah, it was," he said.  He wasn't sure if he wanted to 
try it again, though he suspected his hormones would say 
yes even if the rest of him did not.  

	"Cool.  So her dad got really pissed?" his mother 
asked.

	"Yeah," Yoshidayama said.  "Never touch my 
daughter again, blah, blah."

	"STICK IT TO THE MAN," his mother said.  "You 
should date her again just to piss him off."

	He grinned.  His mother could be a freak, but 
sometimes, she was the best mother in the world.

*************

	"Less is more. You have to make him work for it, then 
gradually yield your resistance to his desires, so he 
understands his getting loving is dependent on making you 
happy," Saeko said to Rinko the next day as they studied 
together, waiting for the others to arrive; they were at 
Saeko's house on Sunday morning.

	"I'm not trying to make him my love-slave, I just want 
to do something special for him," Rinko said.  "I owe him."

	"Yeah, he did rack up a pretty huge credit taking that 
punishment for you," Saeko said.  "And quid pro quo is 
important to any relationship."  She tapped her cheek.  
"You could do a sexy dance for him."

	Rinko blushed.  "That would be...I don't know 
any...and people would get the wrong idea..."

	"He is your boyfriend," Saeko said.

	"He's not my boyfriend," Rinko protested.

	"Oh come on," Saeko said.  "You don't have to be coy 
with me."

	Rinko shifted back and forth nervously.

	Saeko sighed.  "I suppose suggesting you pose nude is 
out then."

	Rinko made a strangled squealing noise.

	Saeko laughed. "Just kidding.  Maybe you could make 
him lunch for a while.  Men like a nice handmade lunch on 
a regular basis; it makes them feel cared for."

	"You know, that's a good idea," Rinko said.  "I like it."

	"And each one, has a photo with you in slightly less 
clothing...," Saeko said.

	Rinko really had no choice but to noogie her.

************

	"I think a nightwatchman, though expensive, may be 
wise, so we don't have to camp here every night," Akira 
said.

	Harima nodded.  "I want to be able to have some time 
away from here."

	"Perfectly reasonable," Akira said.  "I will make it so."

*************
	
	"How did it go?"  Imadori asked Yoshidayama on 
Monday morning, curious.  "You seem alive."

	"Had time to recover from her dad trying to kill me," 
Yoshidayama said.  "Tomo and I resolved to keep seeing 
each other to piss him off."

	Imadori laughed.

	Shin said, "Anything interesting happen?"

	He tried to decide how much to say; he had a feeling 
he'd be mocked to death if he described the sex.  But he 
wanted to brag.  Keep it simple and vague.  "We had a very 
'good' time," he said, grinning.

	"Ooh, did you score?" Shin asked.

	"We stayed there for over twelve hours," 
Yoshidayama said.  

	"..."

	"Oh come on, no one can last that long," Imadori said. 

	"My only regret is that we got charged for every 
hour," Yoshidayama continued.

	Imadori began to laugh.  "Man, that must have wiped 
you out."

	"Yeah, I gotta work some extra shifts, I think, to earn 
more money.  But it was worth it," Yoshidayama said.  "Oh 
yeah."  

	"Very good," Buddha said.  "At this rate, half the club 
may actually have sex by the time we graduate."

	And I'll be totally bankrupt, Shin thought.

************

	"I got laid and it ROCKED ON TOAST!" Tomo 
shouted during homeroom, standing on her desk.  "And I 
strongly urge everyone else to do so, cause it feels 
GREAT!"

	Even throwing the podium didn't enable Yukari-sensei 
to take down Tomo, who fell under it but kept ranting.

	Chiyo-chan's breakers blew and she fell over.

	Everyone else would have learned something if any of 
it had actually been TRUE.
	
************

	"He...what?", Rinko said, feeling the bottom fall out of 
her universe.

	Ishiyama looked up from eating the lunch Rinko made 
him.  "Yeah, I heard that, but he's probably just bragging."  
This was just what he needed, but seeing Rinko look so 
hurt cut the bottom out of what otherwise would have been 
his glee.

	"What do you care?" Saeko asked.  "Poor guy needs a 
break."

	"I expect he's just bragging," Tanaka said.  "Lots of 
stories have people get laid on a first date in high school, 
but how many people really do?  Not many."

	"Most people don't eat dessert first," Saeko said.  
"Good point.  Yeah, he's probably making it up," she 
continued.

	Rinko looked relieved.  "That's true.  Guys like to brag 
about such things."  She sounded more hopeful.  "I really 
don't know much about Tomo."

	"She is the focus of all evil," Sagano said, making 
them all jump.  "My evil cousin.  I can't even imagine her 
being tender enough to sex up a man without killing him."

	"Is she violent?" Rinko asked.

	"Very.  Thoughtless, destructive, violent, loud, pries 
into things, threatens to steal my boyfriend and FAILS," 
Sagano said.  

	Rinko's face hardened.  "So she's probably planning to 
turn Yoshidayama into her boytoy for her own 
amusement."

	"EXACTLY," Sagano said.

	Rinko grimaced.  We'll see about that...somehow.  

************

	It was Monday night in the Tsukamoto household. 

	"It's not hard," Mikoto said to Eri.  "First, get out the 
ingredients and arrange them in the order you'll use them.  
This will help with learning."

	She observed as Eri got out the sphagetti sauce mix, a 
can of tomato paste, some fresh tomatos, a cup of water, 
some margarine, a little white wine, some sphagetti 
noodles, an onion, and some chopped garlic.  

	"Now, get the water started boiling," Mikoto said.

	It seemed so easy with Mikoto guiding her along.  
Everything went smoothly while Tenma watched TV and 
pretended to do homework.  (Hanai was here, ACTUALLY 
doing homework.)

	Finally, she ended up with lots of sphagetti that 
smelled and looked good.  She left it on a low heat to keep 
warm while she got out the bread she'd forgotten earlier, 
then made garlic bread.

	"This is great!" Tenma said, eating it; this made Eri 
feel pretty good about herself.  

	"You really like it?" Eri asked, surprised.

	"You did it just right," Mikoto said.  "Tomorrow, you 
get to try it without me walking you through it."

	Eri nodded, feeling more confident.  "Good.  Maybe 
I'll take Kenji some leftovers from tonight and tomorrow.  I 
could cook extra."

	"I think he'd really like that," Tenma said.

	We'll have to see how well she cooks tomorrow, 
Mikoto thought.
		
***************

	Rinko studied the picture as she swung back and forth 
in the swing.  She and Ishiyama were at the park, and she 
was in one of the seats of the swingset.  "She isn't all that 
impressive," Rinko said, swaying gently.

	"She's pretty dangerous but not dangerously pretty, I'd 
say," Ishiyama said.  

	"I have to take the risk.  I know you're worried I'll get 
hurt, but I can't give up yet," she said hotly.

	"I know," he said softly.  "But I'll help you as much as 
I can," he said.  He had a feeling Yoshidayama was 
permanently beyond her reach now.  But she had to get 
over Yoshidayama before he had a chance, and this was the 
best way.

	He hoped.

	She grabbed his arms, pulling him down to move his 
head down to her level.  "You're such a sweetie," she said, 
kissing his cheek.  "Maybe we should try for a double date 
with them; I need to learn more about my enemy."

	He nodded.  "That makes good sense."

	She kissed his cheek one more time.  "I always know I 
can count on you.  Now help me up."

	He tried to help her up, but his feet slipped and the 
swing began to spin on its axis and they both got dragged 
and twirled around until the chain could twist no more, then 
it snapped back, flinging them around and tossing him at a 
tree.  Rinko fell out of the chair.

	"Now I remember why I never liked those things," 
Ishiyama mumbled.

	She rushed over and helped him up.  "I'm sorry," she 
said.

	"No sweat, I can handle that easy," he said, taking her 
arm.  "Let's lay plans for the trap as we walk."

	She nodded.  "Sounds good to me."

************


	
	Tenma was startled out of her drowsing in front of the 
TV by Yakumo hugging her tightly.  "Yakumo-chan?" she 
asked in confusion.

	"I love you, whatever may happen, onee-chan," 
Yakumo said softly.

	"I love you too," Tenma said.  "You're not planning to 
go on some suicide run against an army of ninjas to avenge 
our family honor, are you?"

	"..."

	"Or maybe that's the movie I just saw," Tenma said.  
"Eri-chan left you some food."

	Yakumo started.  "She did?"

	"Yes, she saved some leftovers for you from the 
sphagetti.  You should eat it; home cooking is full of love," 
Tenma said seriously.

	Yakumo looked a little flustered.  "Really?"

	"Yours is always full of love, so I'm sure Eri 
remembered to put some with hers, along with the red 
wine," Tenma said.

	"..."

	Tenma went and got it out of the fridge.  "Here you 
go," she said, passing the tupperware bowl over to 
Yakumo.  "She's going to make some for Kenji-san 
tomorrow."

	Now Yakumo felt a little jealous.  "I should send him 
some food one of these nights."

	"That would be very nice of you," Tenma said, 
yawning.  "I'm going to go to bed.  Enjoy your food of 
love!"

	The "food of love" turned out to be quite good; 
Yakumo was surprised, and pleased.  

	Harima found her asleep with an empty bowl on the 
table next to her, smiling.  He studied the bowl curiously, 
shrugged, then took her to her bedroom and soon went to 
sleep himself.
	
***************

	Tuesday morning, Harima studied the note he found in 
his shoebox.  'Surprise for you tonight--E'.  

	That should be good, he thought.  Or maybe bad.  Or 
both.

	Having waffled himself into a nice open space, he 
pocketed it and headed off to class.
	
************
	
	 Nervously, before class, Rinko approached 
Yoshidayama.  "Hey," she said softly.  "I heard your date 
with Takino-san went well, Yoshi-san."

	"Well, it was about the most fucked up evening in a 
long history of fucked up events, but it ended well," 
Yoshidayama said.  "But her dad wants to kill me, so we'll 
definitely be dating again to piss him off."

	"So you're just dating her to...anger...her father?" 
Rinko asked.

	"Well, she does have good taste in movies," 
Yoshidayama said.  He looked thoughtful.  "You ever done 
it with some guy?" he asked.

	"..."

	"'Cause, see, I'm thinking..."  He looked around, then 
gestured for her to lean in close.

	Beet red, she did so.  

	"It seems to me like grape jelly really isn't the right 
stuff.  But I don't know much about jelly; it's a girly kind of 
thing, cooking and all that," he said.

	She now felt extremely confused but far less 
embarrassed.  "Well, traditionally, you put peanut butter 
with grape jelly; you can even buy it pre-mixed."

	"See, I knew something wasn't quite right," he said.

	But what does this have to do with sex, she wondered.

	"Anyway," she said.  "I was wondering if maybe you'd 
be interested in a double date with you and Takino-san and 
Bishi-san and I.  We're thinking about hitting a movie this 
Friday."

	"Hmm, I dunno if I'm gonna have enough money, but 
I'll let you know.  A week from Friday might be better," he 
said.

	"Okay," she said.  "Just let me know."

	Shin seemed to appear from nowhere.  "I FEEL 
YOUR PAIN, Yoshidayama-san.  I'm so broke."

	"Yeah, and Takano-san's kicking your ass for missing 
work too.  She gave me a suit for the date," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"You lie," Shin said.

	"It's pretty nice," he said.  "Actually, Rinko-san, do 
you know how to get grape jelly off a suit?"

	"Better take it to a dry cleaner," she said.

	"Right," he said.  "Thanks."

	"You're welcome," she said, then skipped off back to 
Ishiyama, who was talking sports with Tanaka-san while 
Nagayama sat nearby, doing a crossword puzzle.  "He 
thinks a week from Friday might be better."

	"Well, I can save more money if we wait," Ishiyama 
said.

	"How about if you guys just come over to my place 
and we can rent some movies?" Tanaka said.  "Nice and 
cheap.  It's better to go out every couple of weeks so you 
can make it fancy and do cheap stuff the rest of the time.  
Especially if you're going to be funding Shin, Bishi-san."

	"Don't forget, I'm going to pay my half next time," 
Rinko said to Ishiyama.  "And Shin needs to learn to pay 
his own bills."

	"Oh, it's the man's job to pay," Nagayama said without 
looking up.

	"I really don't mind," Ishiyama said.

	Rinko shook her head firmly.  "I will carry my weight.  
I have plenty of money.  Especially since you usually get us 
all a ride everywhere."

	"Well, dad's pretty generous with his time, for which 
I've always been glad," Ishiyama said.

	"Well, I don't mind doing this," Rinko said, patting his 
hand.  "My mind is made up."

	Man, I am a lucky guy, Ishiyama thought.  Let's hope 
things continue to go well.

*************

	Harima contemplated what the surprise could be.  
Probably Mikoto was going to smuggle her in.  That would 
be cool.  

	He was busy trying to figure out what was wrong with 
a custom blue cycle when the front bell rang and he heard 
Haruka say, "Suou-san, Tsukamoto-san, Sawachika-san, 
Hanai-san, welcome to the Double-H Bad-Ass Cycle 
Shop."

	He could hear Mikoto and Hanai snicker, which 
irritated him.  Tenma, on the other hand, said loudly, 
"Looks pretty bad-ass to me!"

	Akira said, "Hello, everyone.  Is that dinner for us in 
the boxes?"

	"Yes," Tenma said.  "Eri-chan cooked you all a special 
dinner."

	"I'm flattered," Haruka said.

	Harima put his tools aside and came out quickly, 
sniffing the air.  It smelled good, but that could 
be...deceptive.  Tenma's cooking often smelled fine until it 
destroyed your throat and stomach on the way down.

	Eri was standing in front of Haruka, looking slightly 
flustered and shifting back and forth on her feet, a pair of 
lunchboxes rocking in her hands, while Mikoto was 
handing boxes to Akira and Nara.  Haruka had a lunchbox 
in one hand and was directing the usual smile at Eri, which 
just seemed to make her more nervous.  Hanai lounged 
about near the door with a box and Tenma bopped about, 
touching everything as if to mark her territory.

	"Yo," Harima said, heading towards Eri, who darted 
over and quickly shoved a lunchbox into his hands.  "I 
figured you'd get hungry, since you work past dinner."

	"Yeah," he said.  "Thanks."  He started to open it as 
she shifted back and forth, smiling.

	"Kenji," Akira said.

	"Eh?"

	"Unless you enjoy motor oil as part of your sphagetti, 
I would advise you to wash your hands," Akira said.

	"..."  He looked at his filthy hands.  "Shit.  Be right 
back."

	Haruka ambled after him as they went to the 
washsinks for the staff.  "Your fiancee is pretty hot," 
Haruka said.

	"Yeah," Harima said distractedly as he washed his 
hands.

	"But what are you gonna do with your other girlfriend 
when you marry her?" Haruka asked.

	"I've learned planning more than about 3 days in 
advance never works," Harima said.  "Damned if I know."

	Haruka laughed.  "You can't live like that forever, 
Kenji."

	Harima finished scrubbing his hands clean; he could 
see that somehow Haruka's hands were perfectly clean, like 
the dirt just wouldn't stick, so he scrubbed his a bit a more.  
"Well, just lemme live it this way while I still can."

	"Well, if you ever need me to seduce one of them for 
you...," Haruka began.

	"Michiru will kill you," Harima said.

	Haruka laughed.  "Yeah.  But let me dream, okay?"

	"Okay," Harima said and strode out, aware he might 
be about to take himself out of action the rest of the 
evening.

	However, everyone seemed to be eating with no ill 
effects.  He opened his box; it had a main area full of 
spagehetti and a smaller box which rose up on metal bars as 
he opened the lid to present something which resembled a 
very small pie that someone forgot to put the top layer of 
pastry on.  He eyed it warily.

	"It's a tart," Eri said, now frowning.  "It will not bite 
you."

	He poked it with a chopstick.  It smelled good.  
Suspiciously good.

	"Dammit, Kenji-kun, it's a tasty dessert!  It won't kill 
you!  EAT IT," she said.

	He fumbled at it with chopsticks, until she picked it up 
and crammed into his mouth all at once.  He half-choked on 
it, then finally managed to chew and swallow enough to get 
control.  It actually tasted pretty good.  Raspberries, he 
thought.  

	Then the sugar rush hit him and he began eating the 
sphagetti at high speed.  

	Eri watched him wolf it down, hands on her hips.  
"Well?"

	"Really good," he said, much to his surprise.

	"It is?" she asked in surprise.

	"Yeah, it's good," he said.  "I could use a drink."

	She ran over and got him a thermos of tea from the 
bag of thermoses that they'd brought in.  

	"Man, this is excellent," Haruka said.  "You know any 
German dishes?"

	"Not really, but I know some British ones," Eri said.  

	"Cool," Haruka said, continuing to eat.

	Eri got her own meal and everyone ate; a few times, 
Nara or Haruka had to stop to help a customer, though 
business seemed slow.  

	"You think we'll have any trouble tonight?" Harima 
asked Akira as he finished off his meal.

	"Trouble?" Eri asked, frowning.

	"I expect Mother will try again to sabotage us," Akira 
said.  "Perhaps sending in some 'disgruntled customers' to 
badmouth us.  Or a better cycle gang."

	Hanai frowned.  "Isn't that cheating?"

	"All is fair in love, war, and business, and this is a mix 
of all three," Akira said.

	Hanai grunted in a clearly displeased manner.  Akira 
frowned at him.

	Mikoto said quickly, "So how's it going?  Are you 
winning?"

	"No way to be sure until I manage to steal Mother's 
financial records and that's not easy," Akira said.  "I 
thought I had them, but I ended up with six gigs of sumo 
porn."

	Nara made a face.  "It nearly killed us."

	Harima made a face.

	Haruka now looked at Eri and Harima speculatively.  
"You two can go snuggle in the break room while we all 
pretend to work out here, if you want."

	"I...we..." Eri said a little frantically. 

	Harima took her hand and dragged her off as Haruka 
laughed.

	Kissing ensued in silence for a while, then they sat 
together on the break room bed.  "I hope Mother's security 
don't interfere," Eri said.

	"I didn't even hear everyone kicking security butt, so 
maybe it's all okay now," Harima said.  "Given I won round 
1."

	"You have to win all the rounds; if you lose anything, 
Mother will find some way to be an ass," Eri said, 
frowning.

	"I can't lose with Haruka and Akira on my side," 
Harima said.  "And you," he said a moment later.

	"I wish I could help more," she said.  "I don't know 
what I'll do if Imadori wins.  Or Yakumo."

	"Well, you seemed pretty happy to kiss Yakumo back 
in the other world," Harima said.

	"I was a guy!  You were ALL kissy on me," Eri said.  
"You totally dug me."

	"I made you work for it," Harima said.  "Like a...Just 
like I did."  Best not to give her any ideas.

	"I ought to make you work harder for it, buster," Eri 
said, folding her arms and looking cranky.

	"I AM working for it, six days a week," Harima said.  
"You know."

	She softened.  "I know.  Are you keeping up on your 
manga and your homework?"

	"It's draining me dry," Harima said. "I will be so glad 
when this is over."  He shuddered, then looked thoughtful.  
"Hmm, if we can be together some without getting shot by 
security, maybe you ought to come over to Haruka's on 
Saturday night with us once we get off work.  It looks like 
we're probably going to party there every end of week of 
work."

	"Sure," Eri said.  "How should I dress?"

	"Rich," Harima said.  "Haruka's girlfriend is loaded.  
She's named Kai'oh Michiru," he said.

	Eri's eyes widened.  "Yes, she is...loaded.  We'll need 
to dress you up more too, then."

	Harima grumbled.  "She knows I'm not rich."

	"Yes, but you're going to need to pass in high society," 
Eri said.  "Which probably means taking you shopping... 
which is going to be hard with you working."

	"We'll figure out something," Harima said, trying to 
deflect the issue.

	"Hmm, I think Nara-san has an aunt who does 
tailoring," Eri said.

	Harima paled.

	"I see you know her," Eri said.  "Is she good?"

	"Unstoppable," Harima said.  "Like the Terminator."

	"Perfect.  It's settled, then," Eri said.

	"We get back to kissing?"

	"Hell, yeah."

************
	 
	Behind them, the island continued to burn; they could 
hear fading screams on the wind as divine power scourged 
the island until it broke apart and fell into the ocean.

	Mr. Hanai sat in the pilot's seat of the seaplane.  "What 
have we learned from all this?"

	"Nazis are terrible basketball players," Mr. Tawaraya 
said.

	"Never use the Ark of the Covenant as a beer cooler," 
Mr. Gonzales said.

	They both looked at Mr. Hanai.

	"Always carry a backup pilot on a trip," he said, 
sighing.  "At least we have enough supplies to drift for a 
few weeks."

	"I'm sure the odds of drifting into waters controlled by 
an atavistic shark-man cult are quite minimal," Mr. 
Tawaraya said.

	Everyone paused and listened warily for drums, then 
relaxed.  The absence of savage jungle drums usually 
meant they were outside cult-controlled areas.

	Usually.

***************
	  
	Mrs. Takano looked around curiously at all the men in 
suits when she arrived on Friday afternoon.  "Who are these 
people, Mutsumi?," she asked one of her clerks.

	Mutsumi projected an aura of flakiness which might or 
might not be real.  Her excellent figure, on the other hand, 
was quite real and seemed to stand her in good stead here.  
She said cheerfully, "It's the vice squad.  Don't worry, they 
were quite reasonable when we explained you have to pay 
for your animated porn instead of just seizing it as 
evidence; it's what keeps Japan's economy afloat, you see."

	Definitely wise to give my ladies a bonus and make an 
offering to kamisama of gratitude that they didn't show up 
during the evening shift, Mrs. Takano thought, watching 
her ladies steer the vice squad around by its hormones.  

	And then figure out a counter-stroke.

****************

	"Rinko-san!," Saeko said cheerfully.  She was at work 
at Yakumo's restaurant.  "Bishi-san going to meet you 
here?"

	"Well, I needed to ask you a question, so I thought I'd 
come find you here where...umm..."  She laughed 
nervously.

	Saeko frowned.  "You having some kind of trouble?"

	"No, no," Rinko said,waving her hands.  "Let me sit 
down and have a Dr. Pepper and then I need to ask you a 
question."

	Saeko looked confused but went and got her a table, 
then got her the drink.  After a bit, she came back.  "You 
ready to ask?"

	"I...have you..."  Rinko turned increasingly red.

	Saeko wondered what the hell was going on.  "I've 
never dated Bishi-san if that's what you're wondering."

	"No, no, that's not...are you...have you...," Rinko said, 
then took another chug from her glass.  

	Saeko looked down at herself.  I do look pretty sexy in 
this outfit, she thought, but I didn't think Rinko was into 
women too.  Naah, it's got to be something else.  She 
waved to Sara, who she had learned was really good at 
calming people down.

	Sara came over, wearing a mascot-style panda 
costume today.  She said, "Hello, Rinko-sempai."

	"Rinko's got something to ask me but she can't spit it 
out," Saeko said.  

	Sara came over and panda-hugged Rinko.  "You don't 
have to talk about it if you're not ready."

	This seemed to calm Rinko down.  She finally said, 
"Have you ever had sex, Saeko-san?"

	"...", Saeko stared at her in confusion.  "Umm, yes, 
but...why?"

	Sara cocked her head, listening quietly.

	"You...you don't normally use grape jelly in sex, do 
you?"

	"..."

	"You're better off with something less sticky, like 
mayonaisse," Sara said.  "Or something that washes off 
easily like ice cream or jello."

	Tiny tufts of smoke came out of Saeko and Rinko's 
ears.

	Mayonaisse would keep the elves away, Rinko 
thought hysterically.

	"Though you would have to slice the jello pretty thinly 
or it would have the opposite problem of falling off and...," 
Sara began.

	"Hmm, now that would be pretty good for you and 
Bishi-san," Saeko said.  "You thinking about finally going 
the full distance, hmm?"  She seemed to recover her 
balance.

	"I...no!  I just...I heard...this thing...jelly..."  Rinko was 
so red it began to adjust the color of her clothing.

	"Bishi-san?" Sara asked curiously.

	"Her boyfriend, big nose, short hair, Tanaka-san's best 
friend," Saeko said.

	"Oh, I remember him, sort of," Sara said.  "Just tell 
him to be gentle, Rinko-san.  Boys don't always know their 
own strength."

	"We're not...we're not...," Rinko mumbled.  She 
couldn't even think straight enough to finish the sentence.

	"I can get Hiroyoshi-san to give him some pointers, if 
you like," Sara offered.

	"Okay," Rinko mumbled, just wanting to end this 
conversation.

	"And I can give you some advice too," Saeko said.  
"But we'd both better serve our other customers.  We'll be 
back in a bit, okay?"

	"Okay," Rinko mumbled, totally defeated. 

**************	

	I should have thought of this a long time ago, Yukari 
thought.  She'd changed outfits, disguised herself as a 
student, and slipped out of the school after work, escaping 
capture by her parents.  

	Now she just had to find Imadori's store and she'd be 
scot free.  She knew the name, and she'd gotten directions 
from a policeman, so assuming he hadn't made something 
up in order to avoid having to admit he didn't know, she 
was well on her way.

	She followed them to the letter and found herself...in 
front of a cycle shop. Double-H Bad-Ass Cycle Shop, to be 
precise.

	This must be run by retarded people, Yukari thought.  
But maybe they can think well enough to give directions 
that don't suck.

	Yukari walked in, then realized she knew some of 
these people.  The cute blond guy, she didn't know him, but 
the other two were some of Kyousuke's classmates.  They 
didn't seem to recognize her, though.  Would they help her?  
She wasn't sure.

	"Fair lady, may I be of assistance?" the blond guy 
asked.

	She felt pleased.  "Handsome sir, I require directions 
to the Five Dragons Hobby Store," she said.

	"I fear I do not know the way," he said.

	"I know," Akira said.  She gave very precise 
directions.

	"Why, thank you," Yukari said.  She scampered out 
and headed for the store.

	Once she was gone, Haruka said to Akira, "Do we 
really want to be directing people to our rival?"

	"This one, yes," Akira said, smiling the tiny smile 
Haruka knew meant that doom and destruction was riding 
the wind.

**************

	"Remember, you can get a guy to do just about 
anything to get some sex," Saeko said to Rinko.  "The mere 
HINT of it will make them dance to your tune."

	Rinko wanted to just curl up somewhere and die.  No 
one ever seemed to understand anything she said.  What 
kind of crazy things are they going to think about me and 
Bishi-san?  

	"I like some massage with rose oil before it," Sara 
said.  "But you have to be really careful, or the smell may 
knock out your boyfriend or the sheets may end up super-
rose-scented."

	Part of Rinko's mind carefully noted this all down; the 
rest collapsed in on itself to try to avoid death by 
embarrassment.

************

	"Kyousuke-kun!  Take me out!" Yukari said to 
Imadori as she walked into the store and found him at the 
cash register.

	Takano-san was in the back with Buddha.  He could, 
in theory, walk out the door with her, and no one could stop 
him.  He even had lots of money.  

	But Takano-san would hunt him to the ends of the 
Earth.

	But Yukari-chan had been so lonely and he hadn't 
been able to do anything for her and...

	But Takano-san would gun him down like a dog.

	Imadori vibrated, torn between incompatible needs.  

	Finally, Shin said, "Wherever you go, SHE WILL 
FIND YOU."

	"Come on, Kyousuke-kun," Yukari said, tugging her 
arm.  

	Imadori asked himself what his rivals would do in this 
situation.  Harima would just go do whatever the hell he 
wanted.  Yakumo would cower at Takano-san's feet.

	He'd rather be Harima than Yakumo.  A real man 
dates who he wants, Imadori thought.  "Okay, let's go."

	Yukari squealed with pleasure.  "I want Chinese 
food."

	"Sounds good.  Shin, cover me."

	"You are a walking dead man, Imadori-san," Shin 
said.  "SO dead."

	"You only die twice," Imadori said sagely and headed 
out with Yukari.

	They soon reached the chinese restaurant and got a 
table.  Asou came up, then looked at them curiously.  
"Given up on Sawachika-san?" he asked Imadori.

	"Of course not," Imadori said.  "But all work and no 
play...hey, stop laughing at me!"

	"All work and no play...you...working..."  Asou leaned 
against the edge of the booth, trying desperately to keep 
from falling down.  

	"Hey, I've been working hard!" Imadori protested.

	"Kyousuke-kun is a very hard worker," Yukari said.

	"Damn, that's one hot...hey, are you that teacher?" 
Suga said, leaning in next to Asou.

	"Yes," she said.

	"Yukari?" he asked.

	"Yes," she said.

	"You have good taste," Suga said to Imadori.

	"Of course."

	"Have fun with the lovebirds," Suga said, grinning as 
he ambled off.

	Asou grumbled to himself.  "Okay, would you like 
something to drink?"

	"Vodka, on the rocks," Yukari said.

	"Why don't we get a bottle of wine together?" Imadori 
suggested.

	"Oh, that's fine," she said.  "A white wine, please."

	Asou nodded and headed to fill their order, hoping this 
would not lead to whacky hijinx which he'd have to clean 
up after.

***********

	"He's gone off with Yukari-sensei," Takano-san said.  
"I should have known this would happen, but I foolishly 
gave him some credit for survival instinct if nothing else."

	"Yes, mistress," Shin said.  "I tried to warn him."

	Buddha sighed.  "Many only learn through pain."

	"Don't hurt him too much," Yoshidayama said.  
"We're all stupid for love some time, right?"

	Mrs. Takano turned and looked silently at 
Yoshidayama.  "Yes."  She brooded over the cash register 
in silence for a little while.  Yoshidayama lurked nearby 
with the uncomfortable feeling that he'd lighted a fuse.  
Everyone else scattered to help customers, stock shelves, or 
otherwise appear busy and hard working and not worth 
shooting.

	Yoshidayama contemplated whether to reach for the 
can of mace he still had, but he feared sudden action would 
stir her into action.

	"Why?" she asked.  It was unclear who she was 
addressing.

	"Well, you...umm...love, it kinda gets down in your 
heart and makes you do crazy things with grape jelly," 
Yoshidayama said.  A few seconds later, he wanted to just 
shoot himself.

	Several members of the club snickered.  Buddha 
nodded sagely, then returned to rearranging video tapes in 
alphabetical order by section.

	"No, I know more about love than probably any of you 
ever will," Mrs. Takano said wearily.  "But why do you 
follow this moron?  He can't even stay focused on what 
woman he is chasing, let alone run a business when his 
gonads start calling.  Yet you all are so loyal to him, even 
when he wanders off, leaving you all to work for his benefit 
while he slacks off."

	Most of the club mumbled into bookshelves.  They 
didn't know what to say.  But Buddha turned around, still 
holding porn in one hand and an action movie in the other.  
"If you cling too hard to anything, it breaks from the 
intensity of your grip," he said.  "To achieve enlightenment, 
you must let go and relax, letting the world and events 
move you, instead of trying to force them into your rigid 
plan.  Kyousuke-san is a man who knows how to move 
with the flow of events instead of trying to force them.  Yet 
when we truly need him, he will always be there, to do 
what is right.  I will begrudge him nothing, as he has 
begrudged me nothing in these years I have known him."

	Mrs. Takano stared at him silently, then said in 
disbelief, "Are you trying to argue he is some sort of 
Boddhisatva?"

	"Yes," Buddha said.

	For a moment, Mrs. Takano wobbled as her brain cells 
fought the urge to simply explode.  

	She reminded herself again of exactly how much she 
was being paid.  "We're not here to achieve enlightenment," 
she said.

	"You are not, but our goals are not your goals," 
Buddha said.  "We don't have to be paid to help someone."

	Mrs. Takano's eyes narrowed slightly at that.

	"But the money doesn't hurt," Shin pointed out.  "This 
is not a request to not get paid."

	"I have always dreamed of having my own store; this 
is like heaven for me," Buddha said.  

	"I can't afford to chase women without a job," Shin 
said.

	"We all need someone to get our back," Yoshidayama 
said.

	"Friendship isn't a balance sheet, you don't tote up 
precise debts and ladle out favors with an eye to making a 
profit," Saitou said.  "This is kind of fun, anyway.  And the 
money doesn't hurt.  But he's helped us all at some time or 
another, and now we're helping him.  It's just how 
friendship works."

	"Yeah, this isn't an army; we're just a gang of friends," 
Yoshidayama said. "We go along because we're friends."

	"And the money is useful for chasing women," Shin 
said, just to make sure everyone remembered this. 

	"You can't turn us into good little soldiers," Buddha 
said.  

	"That's made itself quite obvious," Mrs. Takano said.  
"But I can't afford to lose; my reputation rides on my 
victories."

	"But not ours," Buddha said.  "We're expected to lose, 
and that sets us free to be what we want, not what is 
expected of us."

	"That's easy for a no-responsibilities teenager to say; 
there's no one depending on you to take care of them," Mrs. 
Takano said angrily.  "Do you expect to slack your way 
through the rest of life?"

	"Pretty much, really," Yoshidayama confessed.

	"I can't afford to slack until I find someone cheaper to 
pursue," Shin said.

	"If I plan more than three days in advance, it never 
works right anyway," Saitou said.  "So I stopped trying."

	"I can see the end of youth approaching, and the 
burdens of adulthood.  I do not choose to enchain myself in 
advance," Buddha said.  
	     
	"Fine," Mrs. Takano said in a manner which caused 
them all to tense and step back.  "I will be back later.  Keep 
the store running."  

	"Yes, mistress," Shin said.

	And then she was gone.

	They all stood in silence a few seconds.

	"Okay, everyone, back to work," Buddha said.  
"There's work to do."

************

	Asou felt slightly nervous because, beyond Imadori 
putting too much salt in his soup, there had been no whacky 
hijinx as a result of the couple's arrival.  He kept waiting 
for the other shoe to drop.

	But they paid their bill and headed out without 
incident, leaving him tense for the rest of the night.

************

	Haruka frowned at the cycle.  "Hmm, doing something 
wrong."

	Haruka looked over curiously from where he was busy 
painting comets and stars and nebulae onto a cycle.  
"What?"

	"Well, this thing had bad sparkplugs, but I replaced 
them with fresh and it's still not working, and that probably 
means a long quest to figure out what else is screwed in this 
thing," Haruka said.

	"Eh, easy repair work is boring," Harima said, 
returning to his painting.  "Tell me if..."

	Harima paused; he had an odd feeling like he was 
being watched.  He glanced about.

	Haruka said, smiling, "Overcome by my beauty?"   

	Harima suddenly wished he knew morse code.  "Hey, 
Akira," he said over his headset.  "Any customers out 
there?"

	"I'm trying to help someone find the right set of wires 
they want, while Kentarou mans the cash register, but it's 
slow at the moment.  Keep on working," Akira said.  

	"Oh, you need help?  I'll be right out, this painting can 
wait," Harima said.

	"No, I said I'm fine," Akira said.

	Harima headed out to the front anyway.  As he rose 
and left, Haruka watched him go with a quizzical look, then 
looked around the room.  

	As Haruka was returning to work, Harima's voice 
came over the headset.  "There's someone spying on us.  Be 
alert.  They were in the work room unless they followed me 
in."

	Haruka frowned a moment, then carefully stopped 
frowning.  Work resumed, but in a wary manner.

	Harima returned to resume painting now, while Akira 
continued to assist her customer, a wizened old landlady.  
"I don't suppose you have any vehicle mounted tasers?  Or 
perhaps rockets?" the old landlady asked.

	"We're not authorized to sell weapons," Akira said.  
"I'm sorry."

	"More's the pity.  Well, I'll settle for these spare parts 
so I can do maintenance on my hog," the old lady said, 
taking them to the counter.  "Tote them up, lad."

	Nara rang them up.  "35,673 yen, ma'am."

	"Very polite, good. Young people are so often rude 
and in a rush," the old landlady said.  "Is it just the two of 
you running this shop?"

	"The boss and his henchman are in the back, working 
on cycles," Nara said.

	Akira said, "If you want any custom decoration, the 
owner, Harima Kenji, will be happy to help you.  Ten'ou 
Haruka does repairs and assists with the front area when 
we're flooded with people."

	"Do they work hard?" the old landlady asked.  "Young 
people can be pretty lazy."  

	"Kenji-san and Haruka-san are both very hard 
workers," Akira said.  "You can trust them to do good 
work."

	"Mind if I take a look?" the landlady asked.

	"No, not at all," Akira said.  "Kenji-san, Haruka-san, 
incoming visitor."

	"Yo," Harima said, continuing to work on painting a 
nebula, which was hard work to make it look good.

	"Ahh, greetings, fair lady," Haruka said, taking the old 
woman's hand.

	"You can't flatter me; I'm too old to swoon over a 
pretty face," the old lady said flatly.

	Haruka laughed and let go.  "Defeated."

	"A hole in one," Harima observed, smiling a little.

	"So you're the boss, I take it?" the landlady said to 
Haruka.

	"This is our lord and master, his highness Kenji I," 
Haruka said regally, pointing to Harima.

	"Yo," Harima said, finishing the nebula.  "Looking to 
customize?"

	"Perhaps.  I can fix my bike, but I'm not so good at 
decorating," she said.

	"Well, you've come to the right place," he said.  "What 
are you looking for?"

	"I'm thinking I might as well add some pictures of me 
running over some of my tenants, since I have to do this 
fairly often," the old lady said.  

	Harima laughed loudly.  "I'll need photos, of course."

	They began haggling and the unseen presence quietly 
vanished, moving on.

************

	Yakumo peeked around the corner at work towards 
one of her tables.  

	Saeko came up behind her.  "Hiding from an ex or 
something?"

	Yakumo pointed; Taro, Keiichi (of the Green 
Dragons, not to be mistaken with Jenny's boyfriend), and 
several of their friends from the Green Dragons were at the 
table.  "Could be revenge," she said.  She also had the 
distinct feeling someone was watching her, but she couldn't 
find anyone.

	"Revenge for...oh, hey, it's THESE bastards," she said.  
"Want me to take this table?"

 	Yakumo was about to hand it over when she imagined 
what Eri would say.  She'd say I was running away, 
Yakumo thought.  Kenji-san would tell me to let him 
handle it, but I think Eri-sempai would be disappointed in 
me.

	I have to be stronger, Yakumo told herself.  "This is 
my restaurant.  Be ready to call everyone if a fight breaks 
out, but I'll deal with them."

	Saeko blinked, but nodded approvingly and slipped 
off.

	Yakumo walked up to them.  "May I take your drink 
order?," she asked.


	"Mmm, sexy," Taro said.  "Have we met?"

	"Briefly," Yakumo said.  "I am Tsukamoto Yakumo."

	His brain whirred.  "Hey, you're one of Harima's 
girlfriends.  So do you and the rich bitch have freaky sex?" 
he asked.

	His friends began to chortle.  

	Yakumo resisted any urges to do something bad.  
"No," she said.  "Would you like a drink?"

	Several of the guys placed drink orders, but Taro said, 
"I don't see your boyfriend anywhere."

	"He's running a cycle shop," Yakumo said.  "Would 
you like a drink?"

	"Do you come with it as a dessert?" he asked.

	Yakumo felt a spike of intense anger which scared her.  
She didn't like his insinuation.  "I am not for sale," she said 
firmly.  "Drink?"  Maybe I should just pluck it out of his 
head to save time, she thought.  If she could get him to 
think about it, anyway.  

	"C'mon, Taro," Keiichi said.  "You can get in trouble 
AFTER I get fed."

"Well, I shouldn't have dessert before I eat my meal," Taro 
said.  "I'll have a Pepsi on the rocks."

	Yakumo soon finished taking orders, then soon 
returned with their drinks and took their food order, 
growing steadily more irritated with them, but trying to be 
a good hostess.

	Finally, she was able to leave them to their food a 
while, which helped.

*************

	Imadori kept looking around, wondering if Buddha 
had somehow bluffed out Takano-san or if Yukari was 
really going to turn out to be Takano-san in disguise or 
what.  He needed his beating so he could then go on with 
life instead of constantly waiting for the pain.

	Yukari was talking to him, filling his ear with teacher 
gossip; some of it was interesting, but much of it was 
incomprehensible to him because he didn't know much 
about the teachers at her school.  

	There was some kind of kissy-face going on on the 
screen, but he was too busy being paranoid to enjoy it.  But 
Yukari seemed to be having the time of her life just talking 
to him, so he kept up as best he could; she deserved some 
joy.

	Before DEATH came cruising in.

*************

	"Green Dragons?" Yuri asked in confusion.  "How did 
they even fit inside?"

	"No, a gang, not imaginary monsters," Saeko said.

	"Oh.  Should I call Tae-chin?" Yuri asked Yakumo.  
"Or Harima-san?"

	"We...I can handle this," Yakumo said firmly.  
"However rude they get."

	"Just remember, I'm here to back you up, Yakumo-
san," Saeko said.  "And your nun friend is here too."

	Please, no violence, Yakumo prayed.

	Yakumo went out to see if they wanted any dessert, 
fearing possible responses.  She could see Inaba delivering 
food to one table while Tougo's sister was showing off 
desserts to some eager kids while the parents tried to 
restrain the kids from eating the samples.

	Sara was clearing off the table next to the Green 
Dragons, lifting plates onto a tray.  As she bent over to 
reach some glasses, one of the Green Dragons casually 
patted her butt, then moved his hand so that when she 
turned, she couldn't tell who did it.

	Yakumo could tell.

	She approached slowly like the first slow moving 
rocks of an avalanche as Sara turned, flustered, and said, 
"Who did that?"

	"Must have been a passing evil spirit," one of the 
Green Dragons, a punk with purple hair in a mohawk, said.

	"An evil spirit?" Yakumo said coldly as she 
approached the table, her crimson eyes lit with a cold fire.  
"You're claiming you were possessed?"

	"Yeah, the devil made me do it," the punk said.  "You 
never know when he might strike."

	"Taki, stop trying to get yourself thrown out so you 
don't have to pay your cut of the bill," Keiichi said flatly.

	"She's got a nice ass, worth grabbing," Taro said to 
Keiichi.

	"You do know Sara is a priestess right?" Yakumo 
asked, her voice even colder.

	"Oooh, a piece of gaijin ass," Taki said.  "Holy butt."

	"Taki!," Keiichi said.  "At this rate, we won't be able 
to eat anywhere," he grumbled.

	"Oh, relax, they ain't gonna do nothing, or they won't 
get their money.  The customer is always right," Taro said.  
"Buncha cowards.  Businesses are all like that."

	Sara was looking very flustered, while Yakumo's 
impassive features grew colder yet.  "You are wrong.  You 
are going to apologize to Sara, now."

	"Make me," Taki said.

	Yakumo advanced on him, staring into his eyes.  He 
could feel her will pressing on his, felt the cold weight of 
her disdain for him, stabbing into him like a knife.  He 
froze up, and offered no resistance as she lifted him out of 
his chair and carried him to the door, then tossed him out 
onto the sidewalk.

	Some of the other Dragons started to rise, but Taro 
waved them down.  "If he cowers just because she's staring 
at him, he deserves it."

 	Yakumo returned to the table.  "Get the oil and the 
brooms, Sara-chan.  It's time for his exorcism."

	"He's not really possessed," Taro said.

	"A good thorough exorcism is the only way to be 
sure," Yakumo said.

	"I'm not," Taro began.

	Yakumo stared into his eyes and he stared back.  The 
air almost shimmered.

	Then he finally slumped.  "It's not worth it.  Let's go 
kick someone else's ass."  He stormed off with most of his 
gang.

	Keiichi sighed and threw a credit card on the table.  
"Here's the payment," he said.  "For everyone."

	"You should find better friends," Saeko said to him.

	"It's not easy being the voice of reason," he said.  "But 
sometimes it's necessary.  Taro may not be the brightest of 
guys sometimes, but he's always taken care of me, so I try 
to take care of him too."

	Yakumo looked at him, then felt some of her anger 
drain out of her.  She could appreciate that.  "I understand," 
she said.

	"Thank you," he said, waited for his card, then left just 
as Sara returned with the equipment for the exorcism.

	The unseen watching presence flitted away.

***************
	
	Rinko felt less embarrassed after some time over at 
Nagayama's, relaxing and watching some movies they'd 
rented.  "Where's Tanaka-san?" she asked Nagayama.

	"They're watching wrestling on pay-per-view," 
Nagayama said.  "Boring, boring, boring."

	Rinko laughed, then took a sip of her Dr. Pepper.  
"Are we still good for tomorrow?"

	"Yes," Nagayama said.  "And Saeko-san will be 
coming over later tonight."

	"Cool," Rinko said.  

	They watched quietly for a while, and then Rinko tried 
to decide whether to ask Nagayama about the jelly thing.  
But really, she'd already gotten too much information from 
Sara and Saeko.  

	And she had the impression they hadn't done anything 
like that yet, anyway.  

	Not that she was likely to, any time soon.

	Whatever people might believe.

	No one understood her true feelings but Bishi-san.  At 
least he always listened.  No one ever seemed to listen to 
each other any more.

	"Earth to Rinko," Saeko said.  "You fantasizing 
naughty thoughts about Bishi-san?"

	Rinko's eyes crossed as reality returned.  "I'm not 
thinking about...anything."

	"Uh huh," Saeko said.  "She been out of it a long 
time?"

	"Quite a while," Nagayama said.  "But I didn't want to 
disturb her."

	"That's my job," Saeko said, sitting down on the couch 
with them.  "Let the disturbing begin."

	Rinko winced inside her head.

***********

	Still not dead, Imadori was almost ready to just beat 
himself up.  He was taking a nice romantic walk in the park 
with Yukari-chan; he should have been the happiest boy 
alive, but instead, he could feel the ICY HAND OF DOOM 
coming for him.

	"You're so pretty in the moonlight," he said 
instinctively.

	She smiled brightly, then stopped with him to look up 
at the moon.  "And you're very handsome."

	"You flatter me," he said softly, as his eyes flitted 
about, looking for trouble.

	"Don't worry," she said.  "There's no way that bastard 
Umino and poor Nyamo-chan can find us."

	He looked at her curiously.

	"It's pretty clear he's brainwashed her with his evil 
bread," Yukari said.  "I need to find a deprogrammer to fix 
her."

	"Hmm.  Outside my area of expertise," he said.  "I'm a 
lover, not a psychologist."

	"The same for me," Yukari said, kissing him intensely.  
"Let's go find a hotel."

	He tried to decide--one he didn't like, so it would get 
levelled, or one he did like, to have more fun.

	He hated dilemmas.

*************

	Buddha carefully emptied the cash register to put the 
money into the vault so it could be deposited when the 
banks re-opened on Monday.  

	"We just going to lock up and go home?," Shin asked.  
"Maybe she got into some kind of trouble."

	"She's probably just spending a few hours beating up 
Imadori-san," Saitou-san said.

	"I tried calling; she didn't answer," Yoshidayama said.

	"I expect she'll be busy hunting Kyousuke-san until 
she finds him," Buddha said.  "Let's go relax, and if she 
needs us, I don't think she'll hesitate to drag us off on her 
quest."

	"I dunno.  I think we kinda hurt her feelings," Shin 
said, sounding a little guilty.

	"She brought it on herself," Buddha said.  "This is not 
an army.  C'mon, let's go to my place; there should be left-
over pie."

	"Lead on," Shin said.

	Pie beckoned and could not be denied.  

*************

	Harima was sitting down to do a little manga work 
when Yakumo suddenly tackled him from behind.

	Or more precisely, she ran towards him, tripped, and 
crashed into him from behind, catching him by surprise.

	She was still in her catgirl outfit, which he didn't 
mind, as he liked cats.  Yakumo gripped him tightly from 
behind now.

	"What's wrong?" he asked softly.  

	"The Green Dragons came to my store," she managed 
to say.

	He growled.  "Bastards.  Did they cause any trouble?"

	"I...I had to throw one of them out," Yakumo said, 
shuddering against him.  "He was fondling Sara, and I got 
very mad."

	"Of course you did," he said.  "I'd have gotten pissed 
off too."  Harima grimaced.  "Maybe I ought to..."

	"No, I can handle it," Yakumo said quickly.  She 
remembered what Yuri said.  She had to show she could 
pull her own weight, or else she would only end up a 
burden to others.  "This is my store, and my duty."

	"But..." he began.

	She wasn't shaking now, as her determination grew.  "I 
can handle it," she said, hoping she wasn't being 
overconfident.  

	She could feel him slump, sense his irritation.  He 
wanted to help; she could read his mind, though she tried to 
not pry.  Not being allowed to help frustrated him, which 
made her feel bad.  

	"Okay," he said.

	"I know you could crush them," she said.  "But this is 
part of the contest; I have to do this on my own."

	He said okay, but she could tell it wasn't really okay.  
But she didn't know what to say, what to do.  

	So she just leaned against him, trying to reassure him 
with her presence.  It didn't seem to work, and eventually, 
she'd go to sleep feeling frustrated.

**************

	"What's wrong?" Yukari asked Imadori as she kneeled 
over him on the love hotel bed.  "You seem so distracted 
when I'm right here, half-naked and TOTALLY beautiful."

	"I'm sorry, my dear.  I'm just afraid Takano-san is 
going to interrupt us," Kyousuke said.

	"Forget her and think about me," Yukari said.  "And 
only me."  Her voice was stern like a teacher disciplining a 
child.

	"Yes, my dear," he said, trying to make himself forget 
as he pulled her down into a kiss.

	But fear wasn't banished so easily.

**************

	"Hey guys, mind if join you?" Shigeo asked Tanaka at 
the front door of Tanaka's place.

	"The more the merrier," Tanaka said.  "I thought you 
had a date with Madoka."

	"I did, it went well, but she has to help her family tile 
the bathroom tomorrow, so she had to get to bed early," he 
said.  "I'm supposed to go help, but I'm too wired to sleep."

	Shigeo came in with Tanaka to the living room.  
"We're not gonna keep your folks up, are we?"

	"They go out every Friday night on a date and now 
that I'm old enough I won't accidentally set the house on 
fire, they usually don't come back until Saturday evening," 
Tanaka said.  "Sometimes not until Sunday evening, if they 
decide to go out of town."

	"Man, that's kinda cool," Shigeo said.  "So it's just you 
and the munchkin?"

	"Munchkin's at a slumber party," Tanaka said.  "So 
perfect for watching loud wrestling until we fall down."

	On the screen, an unfortunate wrestler was being 
swung repeatedly into the ropes surrounding the ring, 
alternating with slamming into the ground.

	They watched for a while, then Shigeo said to 
Ishiyama, "Man, so how did you get Rinko so devoted to 
you so fast? I mean...uh...," he said, then shut up quickly.

	"Hey, Madoka's got it for you pretty bad, you know," 
Tanaka said to Shigeo.

	"I just always feel kind of behind the loop," Shigeo 
said, sighing.

	"Rinko-san is naturally very affectionate, whereas, I 
think your girlfriend just instinctively messes with people," 
Ishiyama said.

	"Yeah, I have to ratify that.  It's not that she doesn't 
love you; it's that she likes rattling people's chains," Tanaka 
said.

	"We still haven't...you know," Shigeo said gloomily.

	"Well, neither have we," Tanaka said.  "Don't rush it, 
right, Ishiyama?"

	"We're not even VAGUELY close to it," Ishiyama 
said, able to admit virginity since everyone else had.  

	For a moment, they looked around, knowing 
instinctively that three guys admitting virginity in a row is 
usually a sign of impending apocalypse when they're all 
teenagers.

	The world did not end.  

	Yet.

	"That's not to say I'd say no if she said yes," Ishiyama 
said.

	"Exactly," Tanaka said.

	"Yeah," Shigeo said, feeling better.  

	The universe regained its balance and moved on.

**************

	"That's fine," Eri's mother said to her.  "I agree, 
building ties to the Kai'ou family could be very useful.  
And you say this fellow dating their heiress is an old friend 
of Harima's?  I had not heard of this."

	"Yes," Eri said.  "Ten'ou-san is one of Kenji's 
mentors."

	"Hmm, interesting.  Dating bad boys must be in this 
year," her mother said.  "It's fine if you go to the party with 
him."

	Eri gave a great sigh of relief.

	"If you do something similar with the other candidates 
on the next two weekends."

	"..."

	There was something which might have been a hint of 
glee in her mother's voice.  "Also, he may sleep over at our 
house, but only if you do the same things with his rivals 
you do with him.  For fairness."

	"..."

	"Nakamura-san can observe and maintain the 
balance."

	"Mother, have you been talking to Tenma-chan?" Eri 
asked with a strangled voice.

	"She has a mind of surpassing creativity," Eri's mother 
said.  "Properly filtered, she can be a very useful source of 
insights and ideas."

	"She didn't...," Eri began.

	"I won't be sending you to the doctor to check for 
werelesbianism," Eri's mother said.

	Eri gave a sigh of relief.  

	"Anyway, I'm sure you should be in bed," her mother 
said.  "I love you, dear."

	"Love you too, mother," Eri said, sighing.

	"Now, now, don't be petulant.  This is all about 
fairness.  And enjoy the party.  I understand Kai'ou-san is a 
brilliant musician and a witty conversationalist, so you 
should have a good time until Harima embarrasses you 
both with some faux paux."

	"He will be just fine," Eri told her mother firmly, 
trying to force the universe to make it so.

	"Your father sends his love," Eri's mother said.  "He's 
asleep in the sauna, so I'm going to have to go wake him 
before he sleeps through a meeting, but he needs the rest 
right now.  Goodbye, dear daughter."

	"Give Father my love," Eri said.  "So he's up in 
Sweden with you?"

	"Yes, we have a meeting, then he's off to Russia.  
Want me to tell him to get you anything?"

	"I'm fine," Eri said.

	"Okay, dear.  Have fun with your boyfriends and your 
girlfriend."

	"Imadori is not my boyfriend!," Eri shouted into the 
phone.

	Her mother laughed softly and hung up.

	Maybe I can go to the party with Kenji, then we can 
elope, Eri thought.  

	She shook her head.  That wouldn't work.  She needed 
to finish college, get useful skills, THEN elope.  That 
would only be in...5.3 more years.

	AAAAARGH.

	Eloping wasn't a solution.  Neither was moping.  But 
what could she do?  What...

	Hey, this is my perfect chance to buy a motorcycle, 
Eri thought.  Mother had decided to get me an international 
driver's license.  That would throw Kenji a good load of 
money and help bias the contest towards him.

	Yeah.  Tiny, but a good start and way better than 
moping.  Especially since she could go cycling instead of 
moping.

*************
	
	Nara reached for the front door when Akira took his 
hand.  "Someone's in the house," she said.

	"What?" he asked in confusion.  

	"The front knob has been wiped of fingerprints.  Good 
for evading one's own being found, bad for fooling me," 
Akira said.  "Stay back by the motorcycle, be ready to call 
backup if I call you."  She passed him one of the headsets, 
which he donned; she donned another.

	He nodded nervously.  "Be careful."

	Kiss.  "Always."

	She slipped into the house, wondering who it was.  
Her mother would keep any sabotage to the battlefield, so it 
couldn't be her mother...unless she was raiding the fridge 
again.

	Akira sighed, dropped out of stealth mode and headed 
towards the kitchen; she could hear the noise of someone 
eating an entire 2 quart tub of ice cream.  She sighed and 
pushed the door open.  "Mother, even our metabolism only 
goes so far."

	Her mother was in the kitchen at the table, eating 
cherry ice cream directly from the carton with a spoon.  She 
said something incoherent through a mouthful.

	Akira sighed, then said, "Any reason I shouldn't call 
Kentaro in?"

	"How do you do it?" her mother asked very seriously.  
"Also, do you want some or can I eat the whole thing?"

	"It's Kentaro's favorite.  Why don't you eat the peach 
ice cream?"

	"It tastes like wet cat smells.  How about the lemon?"

	"Lemon is fine," Akira said.  

	Her mother switched cartons; Akira carefully spooned 
a cupful of cherry into a bowl for Kentarou, then put the 
carton and the bowl with spoon into the freezer.  "And I 
would be calling Kentaro with the headset I am wearing."

	Her mother stared at her blankly for a moment.  "Not 
that."

	"I can't give up my business secrets when I'm in the 
middle of competing with you," Akira said.  "Or is this 
something else?"

	Her mother spent several minutes stuffing her face 
while Akira got herself some of the peach ice cream.  She 
called Nara, "Private conference with mother in the 
kitchen, but it's safe to come in."

	"Thanks," he said and came into the house.

	"Having trouble with your underlings?," she asked her 
mother.

	"You haven't seduced your three underlings, have 
you?" Mrs. Takano asked.

	"..."

	"As it just hit me, your group is small enough to make 
that viable," Mrs. Takano said.

	"Mother, is this going to turn into another argument 
over whether Kenji-san is my boyfriend?" Akira asked 
calmly, though her rate of ice cream consumption sped up a 
little.

	It couldn't hope to match her mother, though, who 
silently wolfed down lemon ice cream for about fifteen 
seconds, then finally said, "Something has tamed them," 
her mother said.

	"You wouldn't be so quick to call them tame if you 
saw them fight," Akira said, finishing her small cup of ice 
cream.

	"Well, my little slavey was born tame, I think, but 
those two were not.  Do you know some of the things 
they've done?" her mother asked.

	"I don't care; that's all past," Akira said.  "They don't 
know the things we've done either.  At our age, people still 
change in short periods of time, instead of getting all frozen 
and stubborn.  Not that I know anyone like that."

	Her mother frowned into her ice cream.

	"This isn't World War III, mother.  Relax a little, and 
you'll have a lot more fun.  I don't intend to lose.  In fact, I 
hate to lose, but I don't intend to stress myself to death, 
either," Akira said, now going and putting on some water to 
boil.  "Tea?"

	"Yes," her mother said softly.

	Akira stood by the kettle.  "I hesitate..." she began.

	"If you really hesitated, you wouldn't have started the 
sentence.  I taught you that trick, you know," her mother 
said, finishing off the lemon ice cream and tossing the 
carton into the garbage.

	Akira chuckled softly.  "Yes, you taught me 
everything I could handle and some things I couldn't.  I 
think you gave me a better education in people and living 
than almost anyone ever gets.  And fighting too."

	Her mother watched her quietly.  "The pot never boils 
while you watch, dear."

	Akira chuckled again, and turned to come over to her 
mother.  "It's not my place to advise you," she said.

	"Especially when I might use the advice to beat you," 
her mother said.

	Akira said, "Yes."

	The pot boiled and Akira went over to it.  "But I will 
give you one piece of advice, which you originally gave 
me, so I'm really just returning the loan of it."  She turned 
the heat off, then opened the kettle and added the tea leaves 
to steep.  "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  I 
tell you this because I love you, mother."

	 "Slavey, come on in, I can hear you spying," Akira's 
mother said.

	The door slid open and Nara stood there looking 
embarrassed.

	"I'm going to have to give you some lessons in spying 
on your family, Nara-san," Akira's mother said to Nara.

	He turned red.

	Akira got out the ice cream for him.  "For you, 
snuggle-wuggums."  Her voice turned soft and soppy.

	Her mother looked amused.  

	"Thanks, honey-bunch," Nara said back to Akira 
soppily.

	"Just remember, Father was the world's greatest theif 
and he did it with a smile," Akira said to her mother.  "I 
think he'd want us to smile too."  She fought to suppress 
any signs of her nervousness about bringing up Father.

	"Lupin would probably have dressed up in drag and 
seduced all my minions," Takano-san said a little dreamily, 
sinking partway into her memories.  

	Nara laughed at that as he ate his ice cream. 

	"I can't go easy on you, you know," Takano-san said.

	"I don't expect you to.  Just go easy on yourself.  It's 
not worth having a heart attack over," Akira said.  "I 
couldn't stand to lose you."

	"I'm in good shape and good health.  I expect when I 
die, it'll be a bullet or a knife," Takano-san said, reaching 
out to take her tea as Akira served everyone tea.  "So, has 
Akira-chan been taking good care of you, Nara-san?"

	"We take care of each other," Nara said, sipping his 
tea.  "Very good, thank you, dear."

	"This house working out well for you?" Takano-san 
asked.

	"Very well, once we put out the bat poison and 
trapped the yard," Akira said.

	"Brains...brains...bra...aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!"  There 
was the sound of a zombie falling into a pit.

	"Very sensible," her mother said.  "Well, I expect you 
two wish to have mad end-of-the-week sex, so I'll be 
going."

	"That comes after tomorrow's party," Nara said.  "We 
work all Saturday."

	Akira looked amused.

	"Hmm, sensible," Takano-san said, rising.  "I'll..."

	"You can crash in the guest room again," Akir